ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 9th September 2024

Episode Date: September 8, 2024

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Producer Jared grips it, and rips it!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod Great things are brewing at McCafe The perfect start to every day Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod Hayley away, back tomorrow Yes, and to the producers booth we pop for this Little Bit of Pod to producer Jared

Ahoy Ahoy, yes, that's a great Oh, because you guys are pirates now, aren't you? We're pirates, that's correct But ahoy is also not good morning, good evening or afternoon or anything. By the way, on the pirates thing, we've got this quiz coming up at your school,

the fundraiser. Sorry to go on about charity again, but it's a major fundraiser for your kids' primary school because of the things that happen in that hall. Oh, God. We're all just sticky fools. We're going as pirates. Yeah.

Yeah. Who's organising the costumes? Because I haven't done anything. Each individual pirate is to look after each pirate themselves. I don't know what. I'm just going to go to Look Sharp and buy a fake hand. I'm going to Look Sharp after work today. Yeah, buy a hook, I mean.

Yeah. Yeah. Stripe shirt. How are you going to amputate your leg to make the wooden leg? Well, you can't fake it because that's cancelable. So you have to. Yeah, yeah. So you have to. it as a preparation.

You have to pirate culture. So, this week's final rankings is whether or not, do I chop the left or do I chop the right? Okay, which leg's the better left? Don't go left dominant. Keep your dominant. Okay, well that's good to know. What do pirates wear? Do pirates wear AS colour t-shirts and jeans? They wear

striped AS colour t-shirts. And jeans. And black skinny jeans. Love it! Yep. And jeans. Striped. And black skinny jeans. Love it. Okay, yes. Skinny black jeans. Okay, sworded. Yep.

Great. Sword. Yep. Eye patch. Yep. Hat. Yep. Are you allowed to take a sword on an AT public bus?

Because I've got to get to... Yes. Okay. As long as it's a plastic sword. Or a train. Okay, plastic sword. Or a sheathed, actually. I'd sheathed that sword before you took it anywhere.

Right. Okay. Sorry, Jared. On with your... No, that's all good. What are you... Why are we crossing into Jared? He's got a story. I've got a story. I went to the driving range on Friday.

I haven't been to the driving range since Vaughan... You had your first baby. Indy. Yes. Yeah, 12 and a half years ago. That's the last time I went to a golf driving range was 12 and a half years ago. Why was the driving range part of the because i was supposed to go it was waitangi weekend i was supposed to go and play golf with my mom and then shadow wasn't feeling super well and i said to mom

hey look maybe i'll pass i'll stay and shadows like i feel bad because you're gonna play golf and with the boys i said let's. With my mum. The ultimate boy. She's my boy. So I went to the driving range instead. With Marty, eh? Yeah. Me, you and Marty. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then you found out after. And then that was the night. That was a Sunday. And then Sunday night, yeah, was when Charlie went to play golf. I haven't been able to golf since. I retired that day. And he's just, he tried.

I tried. Slice, slice, slice, slice. I just can't golf. It's the thought of a he's just, he tried and he just sliced, sliced, sliced, sliced. It's the thought of a woman's vagina as a fruit. And it's repulsed him dearly. It was enough to make me hang up my hired club from that driving range. Someone's like, he ended up in there. I ended up in the

sand trap. Fletch is like, bleh. So how did you go at the driving range? Because I bloody love it. I'm terrible at golf. Yeah, I'm about the same. I quite like going there. I'm not great at it, but I figured out how to be better at it this time. Oh, how?

There was a bar just next to it. Yeah. Loosen Goosen. Yeah, we were drinking responsibly. My show friend, Sam. I've claimed he's a show friend because I'm on the show and he's my friend. Okay. Yeah, show friend.

So Sam and I Suck some booze and then went down to the driving range and just whacked a few balls like darts or pool or anything Yeah, and zone of just a couple of couple of quiet beers Yeah, and it had been a while since I'd picked up the old clubs mmm Does this driving range have like a little ones you can have hands on a shaft? Yeah like, odd things that you can hit? When it was, did you put two hands on a shaft? Yeah. It had, like, the range signs, but it didn't have, like, targets. Oh, okay. Because I love when they put a beat-up car or, you know.

Well, at first, it didn't have anything to aim at. Right. Okay. Tease there. So, we're whacking balls, surprising ourselves with how well we're doing. Yep. And then- You're just whacking each other off.

Yeah, we're whacking each other off, playing with each other's balls, gripping the shaft. You're doing my turn. Two your hands three on three off i should i should go back to the drone we're winning them back we're winning them back um and we're whacking each other yeah and um a little man hops in a little tractor out. And the ball collector does his legs. And they're in their, like, caged kind of right on whatever it is. You've got to be in it. You've got to do that job. That's right, because you come from a golfing background, don't you? Scary.

Yeah. Very scary. Who was I talking to recently that used to have a gator? A John Deere thing, and that was their driving range thing. They went and they towed it. They towed the trailer that picked up all the balls. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they said they had it encased in Perspex. And when the sound of the golf ball hit in there,

Perspex every time scared the shit out of them. Yeah. Oh, God. Bang! Is it Perspex? I would have gone, I would have thought it would have been a cage, like, welded onto the outside. Is it Perspex? Well, the one I, yeah, Perspex. I think you'd want both. Yeah, I'd want 100%. Cage with Perspex because the balls go really fast and they could squeeze their way through.

I'd love that. It would be fun. But you, did you hit him? Well, I said 10 points. Okay. Thinking, mate, I haven't been able to hit the ball straight the whole day. Yeah. And first hit, whack.

Hit the track. Yeah, hit it. Over the 100 feet meter. 100 meter. Did you choke the, how'd you get did you choke the club so i didn't get too much air ball no i figured out if i aligned my right thumb with the e on the grip that was my good hold right um so i just okay get it wound back and had that chris you know that great oh the sound. That's the best part. You know you've heard it well when you hear the sound.

We should go to a driving range. That sounds fun. Maybe that could be an end of Christmas thing. I need to just loosen up the back before we go, though. Oh, now you're too old. The next day, the back's really going to feel the driving range. Yeah, all those muscles that you haven't used forever. 100 balls?

100 balls, 20-ish bucks, including the driver hiring thing. Did it have the automatic thing that goes... And put it on the... Yeah, that's cool. But it's rough when you accidentally, like, you're lining up your shot and you just knock it off, and then you've got to, like, bend down, pick it up, put it to the side. Oh, yeah, that's true.

But, yeah, I hit the buggy and I got called a prick for doing it. Yeah, it was good. Yeah. Who called you a prick? the buggy and I got called a prick for doing it Yeah, it was good Who called you a prick? The buggy driver? Yeah, you just hear the of the ball hitting the bug and then Oh, I wish I was in a different word like prick's not enough It was an old mate

I feel like prick's an old mate Wanker's another one, tosser Yeah, tosser You can tell he's already been told off for calling people tossers and wankers So prick's probably what he's allowed to get away with. Prick's the next list that's going to be banned at the driving range. But also, what's he shooting at you for? Yeah, I wasn't aiming for him.

Yes, you were. Yes, you were. You just told us you were.