ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - Girl Math!

Episode Date: September 4, 2023

On This Lil Bitta Pod; We've compiled every episode of Girl Math!Hayley, Carwen, & Shannon help you justify those 'spenny splurges, while Fletch & Vaughan scratch their heads!#itsbasicallyfreeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Girl Maths. Girl Maths. Girl Maths. Girl Maths. We're going to talk about Girl Maths. Girl Maths is when a woman justifies a number of something by going, yeah, but if you look at it this way, da-da-da-da-da-da. I do this for expensive clothing, cost per wear. So I could buy a $20 top for now and never wear it again. That's $20 per wear, right? Yeah, that's expensive.

That's very expensive. I could buy a $500 dress. Yep. And I always say, I'll absolutely smash that. I'll absolutely. See that dress at Moochie? That's $400, but I'll absolutely smash it. The cost per wear will probably be about 30 cents in a couple of years.

Because I'm going to wear it every couple of days. That's that easy. So I can justify paying $500. I do that for a dollar. Everything's got to effectively be a dollar a day in my head. Like what, for example?

But your jeans, you get way more for jeans than a dollar a day. Thank you, I do. You do. I literally do. I got this pair of jeans for $80

and I've worn them for 5,000 cents a year. 5,000 years? Yeah. So the girlies at the social media desk and the producer's booth, Carween and

Chanelette Pyjamas, have been talking about girl math. Yeah. Because Shannon, Carween's been growing out her hair. Yeah. And I've done some girl math for her. So it's been a year since she got her hair done and she's been dabbling with the idea of getting it redone. And I said, okay, so we've had about

400 days, let's say, since she got it done. I reckon if she gets a good stylist, which she will, another 400 on top of that. We're looking at 800 days of hair. Then... Well, no, you can't count the days that have already been. No, that's already been. In girl world.

Oh, sorry, sorry. This is girl man. Sorry. We've got 800 days of use here. Yep. If we're looking at $400 for a balayage and highlights, it's just kind of what Carlin's looking at. We're looking at $400. 50 cents a day to look good, feel good, be your best self.

It's a no-brainer. Girl math's problem solved. Yeah, this is like us when we go to that place that every dish is $8. That's more or less free. And we say to ourselves, it's basically free. Because the maths go to that place that every dish is $8. That's more or less free. And we say to ourselves, it's basically free. Because the maths in our head

are like, it's $8. Because by the time you split an $8 dish between like, we always go with eight people, so that's a dollar a dish. That's madness. It's basically free. But then you end up

buying a thousand dishes. And we're all chipping in a hundred bucks and you're like, where's my free meal gone? Yeah. Yeah, I do, but I definitely do girl maths.

It makes sense. It's kind of like the after pay of your brain. Yeah. Okay do. But yeah, I definitely do girl maths. It makes sense. It's kind of like the after pay of your brain. Yeah. Okay, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, panel, panel, ladies, ladies. Read this message. Girl maths, exclamation mark, help, exclamation mark. Oh, okay. I just bought the Deadly Ponies Mr. Molten Tote.

Oh, la, la. Help me justify it. Hashtag girl maths. How much? It's $1,000. That's $1,000. That's a $1,000 bag. For a what? No!

For a what? Listen, Deadly Ponies is a very high quality. Here's the math. I'll do this for you. I have a Deadly Ponies handbag. This handbag. A molten clutch. Is this what I'm Googling?

Molten tote. Molten tote. My handbag, I've had for five years. So now you're at $200 a year. You're less than a dollar a day. Mine wasn't $1,000. So I'm even smaller than that. Yeah.

It's a tote. How many ways can you use a tote? That's what I was just going to say. The supermarket. Happy bag. Supermarket. So you're actually getting four bags in one. Going away bag.

Airplane bag. So divide it by four. That's a good one. Four bags in one. Yeah away bag, airplane bag. So divide it by four. That's a good one, four bags in one. Yeah, so divide by four. So if we're looking at... It's $250 per bag. Per bag. You've got four designer bags there.

If you're using that every day for a year, you're literally being paid to use this bag. You're being paid to use it. It's basically free. You're being paid. It's basically free. How did you get to, from a $1,000 bag, it's basically free? Well, because you're, from a $1,000 bag, it's basically free?

Well, because you're getting four bags, so $2.50 per bag. Then you use it every day for a year. You're sub-hundred then. So you're getting paid $100 to use this bag. So they replied, oh, shit, yeah, queens. I love you. I knew it would get real. Yeah, girl.

I think this could be a regular segment, Girlmance, where people want us to justify their purchases. Help me, I just bought a $500 dress. Yeah, yeah. And it's an occasion dress they bought specifically for a wedding. We can break that down for you. I think that would be too hard. Nope.

No, no, because all the free drinks you get by looking so good in your occasion dress. That's right, ma'am. That's right, you're deducting. Deduct, deduct, deduct. Can I just say, Girlmance is wild. Girlmance is out the wild. This is insane. I cannot believe this chick got a free Deadly Ponies bag.

It's so good. She's an ambassador. It's unreal. She's a Deadly Ponies ambassador. This is insane. How lucky is she? She could basically do hashtag gifted. She should have.

Even though she spent $1,000. Girlmats is like... Girlmats is back tomorrow because we've got two more Girlmats problems. She should have. Even though she spent $1,000. Girlmats is like, just, yeah. Girlmats is back tomorrow because we've got two more Girlmats problems. Okay,

right. We've gone rogue with something that happened yesterday. We did a bit of girl math. Now, Carwin wants to get her hair done and Shannon was like, Shannon girl mathed her

and worked out how basically she's getting it free. And then the three of us were like, yes, I do this all the time. And then we girled her and worked out how basically she's getting it free. And then the three of us were like, yes, I do this all the time. And then we girl-mathed someone's handbag and now she's getting paid by Deadly Ponies. Don't ask us how it works. And I just, it's amazing to watch, isn't it, Vaughn? Yeah. Girl-maths.

It's mind-blowing. Well, I'm so excited about it. I'm going to turn it into a segment. I'm going to work on a little intro. Okay. But we're going to give it a soft launch because you know we love a soft launch. We're going to do it with Andrea. Good morning, Andrea. Good morning. Good morning. Now, we asked a few people to text in

for their girl maths. Now, a lot of girls wanting to buy some stuff or have already purchased things. You want us to justify a $400 purchase? We do. What are you buying and why? My hairdresser said my hair would look great with some extensions for my wedding. Okay, when's the wedding?

About seven weeks away. Oh, congratulations. Mine's seven years away. Still waiting. Still waiting. Well, I wear hair extensions, Andrea. I wear them all the time. I've got very fine hair and not a lot of it.

And I buy hair extensions. So I know that, I mean, you've got the human hair, of course, they're expensive. I'm going to be interested to see how this is done because this sounds like

an upsell from the hair extension. I've already done it. Yeah, right. And this also sounds like an additional cost to an already very expensive day. Yeah, very expensive. It's $400 you could spend on the bar.

100%. She's not going to spend that money on the bar. You don't want it to turn into a cash bar at like nine. How embarrassing. Can we get the producer girlies on? Because this is a team effort here.

Good morning. In my head, I've already done this, right? In my head, Andrea's going to say no to these hair extensions. You're going to save the $400, right? Then she's going to have her day. Everything's perfect. Andrea, I'm going to assume that you've already put a bit of money into this wedding. A little bit, yeah.

Yeah, a little bit. Now you're going to get, I'm going to say some of that money put a bit of money into this wedding a little bit yeah yeah a little bit now you're going to get I'm going to say some of that money has gone to a professional photographer 100% 100% that's one of the most

important things of the day so you can remember it now you're going to get this you're going to have the best day of your life your hair's going to look amazing whatever but you're going to look

at these photos and you're inside you're going to know your hairdresser's voice is going to be like you would have looked better with a few extra strands of hair

on your head right and this is going to eat away at you for I'm going to say, 10 years. Oh, wow. Until eventually you're going to do a whole redo on this wedding so you can get new photos done. Now we're not looking at $400,000, we're looking at $40,000.

To have another wedding. We're looking at $40,000 to redo the wedding because that hair just looked thin. Yeah, right. Wait a minute. It's a 10-year anniversary, yeah. 10-year anniversary, you've got to redo it. Can I have a turn?

Have a go. This picture's on the wall. Girl, right. Wait a minute. It's a 10-year anniversary. Yeah, you've got to redo it. 10-year anniversary, you've got to redo it. Can I have a turn? Have a go. This picture's on the wall. Girl, massive. This is a picture she walks past and sees every single day. Oh, yeah. But you know what? While she sees her thin hair, and every time she looks at the photo,

there's a feeling of anger. It ends up leaking into the person that she's beside, her beloved husband. Oh, my God. It's going to poison the marriage. And over 10 years, the marriage becomes poisoned. All because you didn't spend an extra $400. Then what happens?

You can't stand it anymore. And you separate and you divorce. But it also coincides with the fact that your house is now worth less than what you paid for it because we're in another housing dip. There you go. You have hundreds of thousands of dollars. So based on Vaughn's girl mathing here, Andrew,

you might as well cancel the wedding. Because it's going to be... It's the only option. You either spend $400 on hair extensions, which Shannon's got a theory that they're not even $400. You either spend the $400 on the hair extensions or you cancel the wedding and save $40,000. Shannon, how have you girl mathed this?

Got the calculator out. It's currently got zero on it. So $400, right? Yep. Standard hair extensions, great quality. We're talking 10 wefts of hair. So we're already down

to four wefts. What's a weft? Are you allowed to say weft on the radio? Not anymore. It's kind of like the band of hair. You know how you wore a halo?

That's one kind of weft. I did wear a halo. I looked great in my halo. You can't have a halo for a wedding day. She's got to go full weft. We're down to $40 a weft. Okay.

Already significantly better. Then I'm going to say she's going long. wedding day, she's got to go full weft. We're down to $40 a weft. Okay. Already significantly better. Then I'm going to say she's going long. I feel like she's a classy girl. Andrea, we're going long? Yes, my hair is very long. Maybe a 28 inch. 28 inch. So we're going 40 divided by 28 per inch.

We're $1.40, baby. You're $1.40 per inch. I reckon looking at your hair, I reckon it's worth $1.40. That's basically free. Then you think about the retouch aspect that Hayley's doing. We're Looking at your hair, I reckon it's worth $1.40. That's basically free. Then you think about the retouch aspect that Hayley's doing. We're back in the positives, baby. We're earning money. $1.40 is less than the link bus.

Exactly. For one sector on the bus. Andrew, you can't not get these hair extensions. It's going to cost you so much money if you don't buy them. By my calculations, conservatively, and I am a conservative man, you either spend $1.40 an inch or it's going to cost you $800,000.

Right. Girl-messed. Your hair extensions. Okay, well, it sounds like you're getting the hair extensions in, Andrea. That sounds like I am. Well, have a beautiful wedding day in that case. She will, of course. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

I almost said the MF where I was just talking to Brad about banks. I almost said, you turned my mic on and I was just like. And then I just mudded off. All right, it's time for a special edition. Girl Math. Girl Math. Girl Math. Girl Math.

I mean, it's real now. We've got an intro. That's a banging intro. That's a banging intro. Thanks, Brad. Now, joining us in studio are Brad Olson, Principal Economist at Infometrics for a special edition of Girl Maths.

Now, you've heard the first couple of segments, Brad. As a Principal Economist, you're on the news all the time. We've nicknamed you Bad News Brad. What do you think of the segment girl maths? Look, I understand why there's a need to justify spending in this economy, that's for sure. Look, I can certainly get behind some of them. The bag example, I can comprehend.

You see, she had four $250 bags, right? You can see that. What I want to know is, did she use all four purposes with that bag? 100% she will. See, that's okay. It's an ongoing thing. Ask her in 10 years when that quality bag is still around, as mine is.

I'm not so convinced about the hair stuff, but let's be clear, I pay like 30 bucks for a haircut, so I'm the wrong person to justify hair spending. Brad, didn't you hear the summary that Vaughn so eloquently said? She either spent $400, which I know you're not keen on, she would have lost $800,000 otherwise. There's no arguing with that, Brad. Where did that money go? Now, we don't want $800,000 gone.

Now, Shannon and Carwen are at the producer's desk. Are you a bit nervous about today's Girl Mass with Brad here? No. Yeah. Because it doesn't matter. Like, it will always be justified. It's a lifestyle and it's a delusion. Yeah, babe.

They're principal economists at Girlmaths. At Girlmaths. Okay, right. Nicole joins us. Good morning, Nicole. Hi. Now, you're considering a new purchase and you'd like Girlmaths to justify this for you.

What are you looking at buying? I've already brought it, but I need to justify it to myself. Okay. Those are the best ones. Opposed purchase justification. Is this our first? Yeah. I think it is.

I think it's our first year. No, the handbag the woman had just bought it the day before. Okay, so how much did this purchase cost? $330. And what is it? It's a brand new, new season ruby dress.

Oh, which one? Which one are we talking? Because that's going to help me. It's called the Ariel. It's a halter neck. It's got like shirt fabric down the side. It's stunning. Say no more.

Oh, my gosh. Right, pink. Oh, Barbie pink? Yes. Yeah, like beautiful. Oh, okay. Yeah, right. That's just for us right away.

Just for us right away. Oh, my. Okay. Where are you going to wear this? I don't even know Why we need to even bother Where are we wearing this? Two though Well I have three weddings

Coming up this season And they're all different people Okay Different crowds Completely different groups Look I'm married to one of you Okay so this isn't 300 I'm married to one of you

And this is horseshit You're going to wear that To one wedding And you're going to like Get such a nice photo At the first wedding You'll be like Well I can't

Now I can't wear it because people have put the photo online. It's all about the intention, though. It's the intention today. She's going to wear it three times.

This is not a $330 dress, Brad. It's $110. Which is basically the same as hiring a dress, right? It's basically free. Basically free. No, we're not quite at free yet.

Okay. Producers, Girl Mass? Yeah, my thoughts immediately go to the Instagram factor. She's getting one Instagram pickup. The men are going to love it. She's going to look hot. Do we have a partner, Nicole?

Yeah, he doesn't know I brought it. Okay. So no, she won't have one by the end of the week. Because this dress, going off just looking at the dress, you might get a new partner. And now if you're going for a mortgage, you're only paying for 50% of that. Now we're back in the hundreds of thousands of dollars

we're saving here. Brad's face is just like, how? Well, yeah, so if she posts in this dress, she's at a wedding, she's looking good. You only need 10 men to buy your drink. We're in the positives. Yeah. So she's got a partner and she's going to a wedding, which I assume is a drink, we're in the positives. Yeah. So she's got a partner

and she's going to a wedding, which I assume is a tab, but someone's paying for her drinks. Yeah, just in general as well. You know, she's putting it on Instagram. She's going to look

snatched in this dress. Right, okay. So you're saying that because it's such a nice dress, men will buy her drinks. So that's instantly a saving. Puts you in the positives. Right, okay.

Carwain, what are your thoughts? So look, Ruby, I know a lot about. And these dresses will have resale value. I know you look him in the eyes, Brad, you don't believe me. Wait, you're telling me she's going to make money? There is a market for this. Yeah. So if she wears it three times.

Yeah, at $110 a wear. She can definitely sell this after those three wears for more than $110. So she's at least saved one cost of renting one dress. So even if she sold this, this is $330, $110 per wear, even if she sold this for $110, one of those wears is now free. She's wearing a free dress.

Exactly. It's free. So for two of the times, yes, she's losing a bit of money, Brad, but one of the times it's not basically free, it is free. Can for two of the times, yes, she's losing a bit of money, Brad, but one of the times, it's not basically free. It is free. Can we just check in? Are there any other times that we can use this dress? Can we use it, like, at a work function?

Yeah, what do you think, Nicole? We're supposed to be going to the races for our work function, and I brought, like, a really wide brim hat on the weekend that I was going to wear with a different dress. So I'm like, no, this gives Barbie vibes. This is perfect. Okay, so that's another wear. It's $82.50 now.

It's $82.50, that's her fourth wear. And the hat is basically free because it costs less than the dress. Yeah, there you go. Now, Nicole, have you been to Barbie? Yes, amazing. Beautiful. I'm just keen. I love it. Right, you were thinking she could wear another... You might get a fifth wear out of it. Because if we're getting five... I would go again. I could it. Right, you were thinking she could wear another. You were thinking you might get a fifth wear out of it.

A fifth wear, okay, right. Because if we're getting five. I would go again. I could easily go again. There's bound to be a summer bottomless brunch as well. If you can get five wears, we're talking about a $66 dress. Now, you'd get that from a cheap shop. But now you're buying a New Zealand designer clothes,

a piece of clothing. I'm supporting the economy. Supporting the economy. Okay, what about that point, Brad? She's supporting the economy. She is now. New Zealand company. The biggest question for me's supporting the economy. She is now. New Zealand company. The biggest question for me is that the resale point is good.

Carmen's point about the resale is good. How long do you hold the dress? Is there a commitment to sell it? Is it two years and it's gone? It's got to be in fashion still, doesn't it? Because the thing is, if you leave it too long in the wardrobe, then the math doesn't stack up. So girl math is okay here, I think, as long as it...

Yes, Brad! Don't do it, Brad! You have a career to think of, Brad! Brad, I thought we weren't meant to be spending money. Don't buy into this craziness! She's not spending money. The important thing here, though, is that if it was a one-off, a one-and-done purchase,

then, yeah, I'd be concerned. But everyone's now thinking like an economist and thinking, where's the economies of scale? How do I get the most bang for buck here? I like that thinking. Cost per wear. Cost per wear. Okay.

This never happens! This never happens! It never happens! We've also encouraged someone else on the text machine to go out and buy this specific dress. Yeah, so it's the Ariel halter dress in pink. You're going to cause inflation. Are we going to send it to Sade? No, we are not!

I'm going to send it to Sade. Why don going to send it to Sade? No, we are not. I'm going to send it to Sade. Why don't you sell it to Sade in two years? Exactly. Oh, no, but pink won't be all the rage. No, pink is eternal. What about, I mean, dress swap? That's a thing, isn't it? Yes.

Yeah, do you have best friends? Maybe a best friend's going to borrow it for us. Oh, my God, this is the thing. It's like even if you go, you're committed to wearing this three times. If you lose that commitment, do a dress swap with another friend that's this is the thing. It's like even if you go, you're committed to wearing this three times. If you lose that commitment, do a dress swap with another friend that's going to the wedding,

but this dress is still getting worn. So it still works out that it's basically free. When I was in store, the lady told me that I should rent it out afterwards. So she's kind of saying- You put it on designer wardrobe. Designer wardrobe, you rent out. You're literally making money off of buying this dress.

I think the only way this works is if you do keep moving it around because I've got enough friends where they've got fantastic wardrobes of dresses that they haven't worn for like five years or so. That sort of stuff, that's what we call dead money. Yeah, it is dead money. That's a sunk cost. You need to sort of get rid of that. You need to keep generating things.

And if you want the economy to turn over, you've got to move the dresses around. How much of your wardrobe is dead money? I fit like two pieces of that. You need to keep generating things. And if you want the economy to turn over, you've got to move the dresses around. How much of your wardrobe is dead money? I fit like two pieces of it. I mean, that's a different kind of inflation. We are supporting this recession with Girl Maths. I mean, we had Brad Olsen in, senior economist.

Now, we convinced him that it was actually legit. Well, I think his point was, if you're buying items of clothing and you're using them more than once and you're using them for many events and many things, then he's on board with that. Items of quality. and you're using them more than once, and you're using them for many events and many things, and he's on board with that. Items of quality.

Yes. That's right. Now, my mother and father live in Italy half the year. Must be nice. Bloody hell, it must be nice. Must be nice. Now, I'm too old for the cold. I'm too old for the cold, Hayley.

So they live in this little village, and they're over there at the moment. I'm too old for the cold, Hayley. So they live in this little village and they're over there at the moment. They've been over there for months and they listen to the show on the iHeartRadio app because you can listen anywhere around the world. For free as well

on the iHeartRadio app. Exactly. Our morning is their night. Their night is our morning. They end the day by listening to Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. That's lovely.

And bonjourno, Patsy and Craig. Now, my mum heard about Girl Maths and she was like, well, hang on a second. And she sent me a photo. She said she walked past a shop the other day and saw a dress. And this dress was a silk dress, Italian silk. Okay. Italian silk.

Italian silk. So already we're clocking up the value here, ladies. I'm just wanting to get you painting the full picture. Italian silk dress So already we're clocking up the value here, ladies. I'm just wanting to get you to paint the full picture. Italian silk dress, but the shop was closed. She sent me this thing. I saw this in a closed shop window at the beach on the weekend. I said, oh, my God, that's gorgeous. It's silk, long sleeve, kind of hits about the knee.

Yeah. And it is an incredible fabric. It's all like Frida Kahlo paintings. Gorgeous. Instant boomer bait. Frida Kahlo paintings. Gorgeous. Instant boomer bait. Frida Kahlo, you know? Look at this. It's silk.

It's pink. It's colourful. It's incredible. And the best thing about it is, and this is how she's been justifying it in her hair, she's going to come home and wear that. No one else is going to be wearing the same dress. That's so true.

That is so true. So you've got a unique piece there instantly. Yeah. So she went into the store and had a look at it and the price tag had her aghast. I can imagine. Especially whenever you're overseas, you always, you cannot help,

but then times it by two and think, that in New Zealand would be double the price. That's right. That's right. You're already at the location. You've already said, are you girlmancing? Because she's already saved the money on the shipping

to get that dress on. Exactly. Now at the location. You've already said, are you girlmatching? Because she's already saved the money on the shipping to get that dress home. Exactly. Now you're talking. This is what I do. We are getting everybody on board here. So then she saw the price tag and she said, oh my God, I simply can't. I simply can't.

Right. She wouldn't even say the price to my father. She didn't? Okay, right, yeah. Then she listened to an episode of Girlmatch and she girlmatched this in her head. One was that it would be more expensive in New Zealand.

Okay. The Italian silk, like to buy the equivalent of that dress in New Zealand would be absolutely absurd. Yeah. We're talking, I reckon an eight.

Wow. I think it would start with an eight. Yeah. And that's absurd. Oh my God, for a dress. Italian silk.

Okay. Free to Carlo. Yeah. And to get it here, you know. And to get it here, I mean the shipping would have been at least $200. Exactly. Iida Kahlo. Yeah. And to get it here, you know. And to get it here, I mean, the shipping would have been at least $200.

Exactly. $250. And then she said, well, today the store was open, so she went in and she's bought it. Yay! That's right. Now, the silk is made in Sicily.

I mean, that's a conversation piece already. And listen, every time that she wears it, she's going to be like, oh, Italian summers, you know. And so special, the memories. Yeah, exactly. She said, every time that she wears it, she's going to be like, oh, Italian summers, you know. And so special, the memories. Yeah, exactly. I said, now look, that's a one-off. She said, it's a one-off here too.

So no one in the world is going to have this dress. This is a one-off dress. And she said, so I applied girl maths to it. It is the most expensive dress I've ever bought. But we have two weddings, brackets, maybe three. Perfect. Right? Next year, and a cruise. So divide by four.

But on the cruise, wear it at least twice. Yeah, you better wear it a few times on the cruise. And then mum said to me, practically free. Yeah, absolutely. It's basically free. It's basically free, yeah. I've got another equation for that to help Patsy. Please, please do.

So dresses are always 50% off because you're only having to wear one item of clothing. So you're not wearing pants and a shirt. What the hell? So instead of buying a shirt and pants, you're buying one thing 50% off. Dresses are 50% off. And you don't have to do the mental stress of matching your shirt to your pants.

She's saving mental time. The great thing is, with the length of this dress as well, we're talking heels and a nice jacket. That's an evening out. That's a wedding. We're talking denim jacket and sneakers. Cute.

Now she's off to brunch. Oh! It's basically free. It's basically free. They're endless wears here. It's basically free. And then I said, because obviously the price of this dress was absurd,

and she was afraid to tell my father. I said, well, how did you get around that? They share bank accounts, obviously, and they're together in this shop. She applied girl maths to my father, and he bought it. Yeah! Your father used to run a finance company. Yeah, dude. How did she do this?

My dad knows money, and he got girl maths. Dad was on board once I explained to him the Girl Maths. Great. Do you see what you've started here? You see what you've done? It's a lifestyle. We're saving people. We are the CEOs of Girl Maths.

We are. It's basically free. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Girl Math. Girl Math. Girl Math. Girl Math. Well, we did ask, we had a poll yesterday,

because after we finish the show, we've got the Girl Math logo, or the Girl Math logo. We've got the Girl Maths logo and the Girl Math jingle. So that says Girl Math, and then we were like, should it be Math or Maths? And the hashtag that's, I want to say, become a viral sensation is girl math. Because in New Zealand, we say math and maths.

Well, you say, what have you got next period? You'd be like, maths. I've got maths. Yeah. But if you do the math. Yeah. Or do the math. But then the poll results were kind of 50-50 as well.

Yeah, they were. None of us know. So I think we'll just go girl math. I think we'll go the math. But then the poll results were kind of 50-50 as well. Yeah, they were. None of us know. So I think we'll just go girl math. I think we'll go girl math. This is easy to say. Now, if you've missed girl math, it's gone global. Girl math is when you need help justifying a purchase and we, the girlies on the show, will help you to girl math it.

So basically, you're not really paying that much at all. Sometimes to the point where it's basically free. It's basically free. In fact, most of the time it does end up being basically free. Absolutely. Now, I'm a little worried this has gone viral and global because... Why are you worried? Brad Olson's principal economist at Datametrics.

Infometrics? Infometrics. Approved it himself. Only if the item is worn and used to death. Women don't do that. No, women do not do that. And I'm worried because inflation is not just New Zealand. It's global.

And if we're encouraging people all over the world with girl math to buy things they don't need, it's only going to make things worse. Well, we talked yesterday about my mum girl mathing an Italian Sicilian silk dress. And if you want to see her in that dress, because good lord, she looks gorgeous.

She looks very glamorous. That's on my socials. And that was basically free as well, wasn't it? Essentially. Because she's wearing it to all these weddings. Essentially.

And then Cosper wears. Plus the silk. Can't wait to even see this morning when I dropped the photo to the group chat. It didn't even need girl mathing. It was just an essential purchase. It was just essential.

However, we girl mathed it and now it's basically free. And now it's gone global. We're on an Australian website. I've got too many bloody tabs open, don't I? Are you shopping? I'm girl mathing. We're on an Australian website called Mamma Mia. Oh, that's a huge podcast.

Massive podcast. Yeah, massive podcast. And they said, I just discovered girl math and now everything makes sense. They love it. I think that podcast has like two million downloads a month. Yeah. In Australia. They said, I came across this concept on TikTok via a video from New Zealand radio show Fletch,

Vaughan and Hayley. That's us. Oh my God. And then they talked about our example with the handbag. Yeah. Host Hayley explained that if Andrea chose to save the fauna, it's really fun. Okay, right. Yeah.

And then we're on a UK website. And I love this. FVHZM, this is called Screenshot. FVHZM is a daily morning radio show hosted by three people, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. That's us. We were on the news in the UK. The trio are definitely most well known for their pretty iconic recurring series

Girl Math. It even has a jingle. I think we've done it like four times. Three times? And yet it is our most iconic thing. Also they described it as, so every couple of days, the FVHZM crew will read out a letter from a listener

who's seeking some girl math advice. And in turn, the on-air fabulous female radio hosts. Now, they do include in that Shannon and Carwin. There you go. You've made the news in the UK. Well, then expertly justify and defend any purchase that might be up for debate. See what you've done? You've made this go

global. I've never been more prouder of something of mine. Look at this. Girl math. Girl dinner. Girl lunch. I mean, we're living in the golden era of girl content and I couldn't be more delighted about it. Our Barbie era might be coming to a close but there's a problem to be solved but where there's a problem to be solved, there'll always be

a woman to solve it. Plus, you might get a free dress out of it. It's basically free. Well, it is basically free, isn't it? It is basically free. Well, some exciting things to come for Girl Math. I mean, honestly, one, we've decided it's Girl Math. Yeah.

And you've been working on a little something that you can announce in the next couple of days. A little side project with the girlies. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. Girl Math. Girl Math. Girl Math.

Girl Math. Girl Math is back. It's been taking the world by storm. It's gone viral too. Actually, producer Carl Wayne just girl mathed me. I borrowed some boots from Moochie. I've got to return them.

And I was like, maybe I won't. Yeah. And then she girl math informer I mean look I know we had economist Brad Olsen in and he was a little bit on board with it I wouldn't say fully on board

No he was fully on board Yeah he loves it Only if you got a lot of use out of the items you buy It's about the usage Which women never do Yes we do We do Cut his mic off Who's got that power use out of the items you buy. It's about the usage. Which women never do with research. Yes, we do. No, you don't.

We do. We do. Cut his mic off. Cut his mic off. Who's got that power? He's got the dex. He's got the power. Someone has to be responsible around here.

Oh, my God. We welcome Sarah to Girl Math. Good morning. Good morning. Now, you would like Girl Math to justify quite a big purchase for you. What did you buy? I managed to get tickets to Taylor Swift, the Sydney show. Wow, well done.

Yeah, it took me about 18 hours. 18 hours? Have you got A-grade reserve? I did. Yeah, I got the top VIP package for one night. We've got a Swifty in the house. We've got a Swifty in the house.

Do you mind telling us how much this cost you? No judgment. Did you want for the one night or did you want for all the nights? I'm sorry. What do you mean all the nights? I'm sorry. How many nights are you going to Taylor Swift? I'm going to all four.

Queen. Queen. How much money? Are you having to take out a loan to pay for this? It used most of my savings. Sarah, do you have a partner? No, I'm single. Oh, thank God.

That's the only way. I was like, this wouldn't be allowed. This wouldn't happen. No, no, it wouldn't. There was another person who was monitoring. Even if I did have a partner, there would be no way he would be able to stop me from doing this. Amen. Amen. Puff off.

The chewed on this chick. I love it. How much did you pay for four nights? How much do you need us to justify for you here? No judgment, Sarah. Accommodation, flights, and the four tickets would be a total of $5,600. Jesus! This is going to be a hard one.

You are kidding me! Girlies, I don't know if we can get this down to free. I reckon we can. Now listen, flights, you would have had to pay that much for flights for one night or four nights. So that's free. And then...

That would be a good point. Because she's going to four shows, but she's not buying eight flights. Yeah. She's bought two flights. Exactly. Right, right, right. Now, accommodation you need, so that doesn't come into the equation. You have to pay for accommodation at home. How much is one set of flights to Australia?

We worked it out at about $600. Yeah. So $600. $600 times... So that's $2,500 but she's not. So 2,500, she's actually saved $1,800 there. That's a great saving. So where are we going? We're going $5,000 minus

1,800 because she doesn't have to buy eight flights. Lovely. Now we're only justifying 3,200. Beautiful. The maths have begun. Easy peasy. This is madness. Well, yeah, and then you're thinking accommodation for four nights. Yeah. You have to pay rent at home.

No, no, you've just shot yourself in the foot there. She's still paying rent. She's still going to pay rent. Sarah, can you sublet out your room for the four nights? Yeah, that's it, that's it. I could try, yeah. I don't know how the rest of the people there would feel about it. Screw them, screw them. I'm knocking off 200 bucks. Yeah, beautiful. Thank you't know how the rest of the people there would feel about it. Scrum, scrum.

I'm knocking off 200 bucks. Yeah, beautiful. Thank you. We're at 300. Okay, right. Okay, right. 300. We're at 300.

3,000. 3,000, sorry. Damn, I wish we were at 300. Okay, well, a great way to get the price down for the tickets. We're at 3,000. 3,000. So if you want to get, let's say, down to another 1,000 off, she needs to re-watch her videos of the concerts a thousand times.

Yeah. How many songs do you reckon you'll be videoing, Sarah? I reckon I'm going to try and do the whole concert over the full night. Yeah, perfect. So the concert's three hours. Yeah. So I reckon if she watches those videos a thousand times, that takes the price off because you're getting a free concert.

You're getting a free concert. You're getting a free concert. You're getting a free concert because you get to watch it back. You get to watch three hours of videos a thousand times? Yeah. And that saves you a grand. Now also, as many of us Swifties have been doing, have you been watching the live streams on TikTok,

Instagram? I have been, yeah. Exactly. So those were free concerts that you can take off of so you're telling me she's getting about 1500 free concerts

we're in the positives already I mean I don't know how we've done this exactly 3000 but just for logistical sakes I'll take away 1000

now we're at 2000 now here's the thing as well it's like we've got a lot of people who missed out on Sydney tickets and which way we're so lucky that we got them.

Yep. Their alternative was to fly to, where's one of our friends going? Melbourne. No, no, no. Oh, no, no. Vienna. Someone's going to Vienna. So we're looking at justifying $3,000.

You don't spend that $3,000 to go to Taylor Swift, and you see all your friends at Taylor Swift. That itch will never be scratched until you see that Eris tour. Next minute, you're buying flights, accommodation and tickets to Vienna. Are you telling me that's going to cost any less than $3,000? You're kidding yourself.

Yeah, and you wouldn't be able to go to four shows there either. So you wouldn't be able to get the deal on the free concerts. That's right. And now we're in Europe and everything's more expensive. I mean, it's $2,500 return for flights to Europe.

Yeah. I can't believe we've even bothered justifying this, to be honest. It justified itself. And mean, it's two and a half thousand return for flights to Europe. Yeah. I can't believe we've even bothered justifying this, to be honest. It justified itself. And also, ultimately, when you're old and talking to your kids, your nieces and nephews, whoever, you can say you were there.

That's priceless. My mum always tells me, I saw Freddie Mercury live and I was like, I don't want to hear it anymore. You'll be able to say that I saw Taylor Swift in the flesh at the most iconic tour of history.

Oh, in history. The most money-making tour. Beatles. She's going to be there. It's all about Swift. Priceless. So what have we got it down to? Zero.

It's basically free. It's basically free. The way I've calculated it, the amount of free concerts she's getting watching it back on her phone and the flights she's saving to Vienna. And subletting her room. She's made $4,000. And subletting her room. She's made $4,000. And subletting her room, yeah, you're right. Plus an extra $200 for subletting the room for the nights.

I mean, this is unreal, Sarah. And she really has to fly to Sydney four times. Yeah. Yeah, wow. I see how this works. And in general, think of all the money she's saving in being a single woman and not having to be with a man. And the mental time. And the mental tax. Sarah, it looks like it's basically free.

Basically free. Done. Absolutely done. Producer Jared and I just look at each other like, the hell is this? Like, what? Man, that was easier. We started with a big number there,

and I thought we were going to struggle to get it down, but it made so much sense. That's been your biggest girl-mas number yet, hasn't it? Nothing can not be girl-mathed. Nothing. Can. Everything can be girl-mathed. Yeah, that's way better English. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn

and Hayley. Girl maths. Girl maths. Girl maths. Girl maths. Oh my god, I want to go to a club and hear this. Girl maths. Girl maths. Oh! Girl maths has gone crazy. Like the views on TikTok are insane. Yeah, I shit girl math.

It's everywhere at the moment. It's a lot of fun. We're really enjoying everyone's feedback and engagement with girl math. A lot of people have been emailing us how they've girl mathed things. We received an incredible email. It was like two pages long. Oh, it was girl algebramathed things. Yeah. We received an incredible email. It was like two pages long. Oh, it was girl algebra. It was next level girl math.

Yeah, it was unreal. We're absolutely loving it. But today we have a new edition of Girl Math justifying quite a purchase made by Kelsey. Good morning, Kelsey. Morning, guys. Now there's the tone of a woman who's dropped a lot of money. Now you, how much money have you spent and what did you buy? Morning, guys. Now there's the tone of a woman who's dropped a lot of money.

Now you, how much money have you spent and what did you buy? So I spent $699 on a Dyson Supersonic hairdryer. Jeepers, creepers. Oh my God. 600. Fletch gasped before he even knew what it was. $699. He went for a brand new car. He's like, still, that's pretty good. Oh my God. 600. Fletch gasped before he even knew what it was. 600. He's like, you went for a brand new car.

He's like, still that's quite a lot. Oh my God. Still that's quite a lot. Okay, I'm interested. For a hairdryer. Kelsey,

the reason he's gasping, and I've stayed at Fletch's house before, and he has. Excuse me. He's got a Cambrook. You have a Cambrook hairdryer. No, I think it's like an Ancom.

It's something. No, it's the, what's brand is the warehouse one? Living and Co. Yeah, Living and Co. It's a Living and Co. No, I think it's like an ANCO. It's something. No, it's the... What brand is the warehouse one? Living in Code. Yeah, Living in Code. It's a Living in Code foldable travel. No, no, no.

Living in Code became ANCO, didn't it? And that's came out. Oh, I don't know, but it's... No, his is so old, it's Living in Code. Living in Code. It's from the warehouse, but I don't have any hair. It's just a service I provide for my guests. Well, I've got very short and thin hair

and it still took me about four hours to dry it using this thing. And do you know what? It was $29.99, Kelsey. I don't even need Girl Math for that because that's good. That's a good saving.

I would have been better coming under the bathroom and asking you to blow on my head to get my hair dryer. Exactly. Exactly. That's the whole point, right?

Right. So are you loving this purchase? It is like a game changer. Like, it is definitely worth the money. Who makes it? Worth the hype. D Like, it is definitely worth the money. Who makes it? Worth the hype.

Dyson, man. They know how to blow air around and suck air around, don't they? Blowing and sucking, Dyson. That's their tagline, I believe. Yeah. Now, one of the features, because I was just looking this up, I'm a girl, I've got very light hair, so I'm very prone to flyaways, and it's blonde, so a bit of breakage.

This has a flyaway feature. It does. What does that mean? What is one of those? So the flyaway is like the little fluffy bits of hair that kind of stick up. These little shorties. Oh God, you've got so many, Hayley. So what does it do to that? What does it do to them?

It smooths them down and joins them into the rest of your hair. How does it do that? I've got two kids, so I've got postpartum, like, baby hairs. Oh, you've got the fluff. They're all growing back. I've got the fluff. And, like, honestly, yeah, game changer.

Because you know what? Let's get going. How much, how did you spend on this? $699. Yeah. Well, round it to $700 for the sake of ease. Okay. Not exactly the sort of money one should be dropping on this sort of purchase with two

new children. Yeah, they're not cheap, are they? I dropping on this sort of purchase with two new children. Yeah, they're not cheap, are they? I don't want to guy math this. She agrees. Don't guy math. Get that stinky ass guy math. Can we get the girlies on board here? Girlies, we all know this hair dryer, don't we?

Oh, incredible. Now, I'm going to say, as a girl with flyaways, I actually, I don't have this hair dryer. I've got a cheapie. Yeah. But I spend quite a lot of money on product. I'm talking your mousses, your pastes, your gels, your hairsprays to stick down my flyaways. I would say maybe we're going to equate that to like $50 a month.

Yeah, easily. Easily on products. With the Olaplexes and stuff like that as well. With the Olaplexes to try to do the bonding, which this hair dryer already does, as you've said, Kelsey. So I reckon I would shave at least $100 off just on saving on products. $600 a year?

$600 a year. At $50 a month. Thank you very much, Kelsey. It's free now. It's free. Goodbye. No, I would say... No, no, no, no, no, no.

I'm just doing the calculations here. I'm not girl math. No, I probably wouldn't spend $600 a year. Let's say $100 on product. Shave that off. Now we're down to $600. Which is still heavy for a hairdryer. Well, I've got another calculation for you.

It's winter at the moment. It's dangerous to have wet hair. You can get very sick because you lose a lot of heat from your head. Especially when it's cold. So I reckon an average doctor's appointment in New Zealand, $70. She needs to use this 10 times and she makes $70

every time she dries her hair from that 10. Oh my god, that's right. Kelsey, because if you get sick with a wet head, you're off to the dock. Let's play conservatively though, one at the start of winter and one at the end. So $70 a pop, that's $140. So we started at $700. I'm going to make you work

for the skill math today, by the way. I'm not just going to roll over. He's clocking us. He's doing the paperwork. We were down to $600 and then minus another $140 equals $470 remaining

on this purchase. Keep going. Did you take money off for the moose? That was the original $100. Okay. We're getting down to, it's still quite heavy for a hairdryer.

How much time would you save? How much time would you save? Again, I'm not a girl and I'm not girl-maffing here, but how much time would you save on this hairdryer versus the $30 one that Fletch owns? Oh, you'd do it in half the time, wouldn't you, Kelsey? Yeah, it takes me maybe like two minutes to dry my hair now as opposed to like 40.

Okay, so you save half an hour every time you do your hair. And how much, what do you put your an hour every time you do your hair and how much, what do you put your hourly rate at? What's your hour worth? Oh, well, let's say if I was going on my workout, I'm like $50 an hour.

She's a $50 an hour girl. So there's $25 every time she does it. Beautiful. Holy hell. I mean, take a couple of hundy off there. I mean,

we're essentially getting down towards, I hate to say it, free. We're at a $200. Carwen, you've got a theory of your own. Yes. Now, hear me out. Girls' nights? Yes. Yes.

Drinks can be expensive. They can be. Now, you now own a great styling, hairstyling machine that your friends will want to borrow. Yeah. And what can they do for you in reciprocate of that? Yeah. Buy you drinks. Oh, my goodness. Get ready at my house. I'll get ready at mine. I'll show you a couple of drinks. Yeah And what can they do for you In reciprocate of that Yeah Buy you drinks Oh my goodness

Get ready at my house I'll get ready at mine I'll show you a couple of drinks Now They're bringing around pre's Also that They're not turning up Empty handed to your house

If they're going to be Using your hair dryer So what are you drinking What are you getting Through a couple of bottles Well let's say a bottle of Prosecco Is like $18 You've got to get through

A couple of those Before you hit the town I mean each time With $36 at least Per session That's once a couple of those before you hit the town. I mean, each time. With $36 at least per session, that's once a week. Okay. Well, say you're at $40 now. I'd rather it's $40 just for my better maths.

Yeah, $40. We're at $160. Yeah, $160. Now, here's a wild theory. Please. Would you say, Kelsey, you've got thick hair or thin hair? Thick.

What? And lots of it, yeah. How many hairs on your head on average? Because let's break this down per strand. The average human hair is about 100,000 hairs. So that's the average human head. And lots of it, yeah. How many hairs on your head on average? Because let's break this down per strand. The average human hair is about 100,000 hairs. So that's the average human head. So I'm going to give her a 50,000 extra. Can you divide the money we've got left by 150,000, please?

You're on the calculator today. Per strand of hair. I don't know if we've got per strand of hair. We're working this down poor strand. I'm sorry, but you've got to work for it this time. How much does it cost to get a blow wave at a hair salon if you were to go in and get... Oh, $100?

Yeah. Okay. So you're down to $60. No, but that's only once. Every time. Kelsey, how many nights... I'm making you work for it. Kelsey, you've got kids.

How many times a week... How many times a year do you think you'd have a big night out? Oh. I mean, like, let's put it this way. I probably use the hairdryer maybe, like, three, four times a week. Plus, my husband uses it, like, every day. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

What does he use it for? Dry his hair. So, hang on. Divide that in half what you've got left. We're at $80 because two people are using it. No, we're at $30. We're at $30. Oh.

And that is exactly what Fletcher's Cambrook costs from the warehouse. So, at Cambrook, it's a living in co. A living in co. It's even worse. It's got two speeds. It's got two speeds. It's got two speeds and it does it cool. But hang on, if she's using it three times a week, that's 150 times a year.

Yeah. And he's using it every day. 150 blow waves. Wait a second. 150 blow waves. What do we say it was? 100 bucks. Oh, 100 bucks.

Well, that's $15,000 that she's saving. So $15,000 minus the original $699, you've actually made $14,301 by buying this Dyson Airwrap. Wow. Congratulations, counsellor. It's not basically free. You're running a business here. Now, you will have to declare tax on that.

In fact, next time you see your husband, he owes you a thank you. Let's say she's going to pay tax on that In fact next time you see your husband he owes you a thank you Let's say she's going to pay tax on that because now she's making money right Let's go minus 30% equals She's still making

10 grand on this thing after tax That's 10 grand in the hand And how much is the warranty on this thing It'll be a 2 year warranty

Not with a Dyson It'll be at least 5 years I think it'll be a 7 year warranty My goodness. Far out. Are we talking to a millionaire on the phone?

Hello? Give us some, please. Don't you buy a lot of tickets? Over your seven year warranty, in the hand, after paying tax on the profit you're making

from buying this $699 hairdryer, you're making $70,000 a year. Ridiculous. Isn't that the average wage now? Yeah. You've got a salary out of buying this purchase. I can resign. Ridiculous. Isn't that the average wage now? Yeah. You've got a salary

out of buying this purchase. I can resign. I'll chuck it in. Kelsey, put your job. I don't know if you should resign your job. Put your job. Call your boss now while you're on the line with us. Tell him you've got girl math. I'll get your husband too because he owes you a thank you. You're bringing in a double income. This is ridiculous.

I think girl math is getting a little bit out of hand. Absolutely not. Tell us the flaws in our system. I was hard on them there. Yeah, you were. I think girl math is getting a little bit out of hand. Absolutely not. Tell us the flaws in our system. I was hard on them there. Yeah, you were. I was hard on them. You were. They had it down to $30 and then scrapped it all and made it making money.

Made $70,000. Fantastic. Well done, Kelsey. Thanks, guys. She's won $70,000. Well done, Kelsey. We'll just give you over to the producers for your bank account details. We'll transfer over $67,000 Well done Kelsey We'll just give you over to the producers for your bank account details

We'll transfer over $67,000 to you Thanks As we have mentioned Girl Math has gone global and one man called Turner Gentry from Canada who is a host on Pure

Country Morning Show thinks that it could be sort of translated for another group of people. Good morning, Turner. Good morning. It's nice to be here, guys. Thanks for having me on. Yeah, I love what you're doing and I just thought I'd ask nicely if I could steal it.

Well, this isn't how radio works. You don't ask, you just take and then you take it and I have the same thing. You're like, what? nicely if I could steal it. Well, this isn't how radio works. You don't ask. You just take and then you take it and deny it. You're like, what? I haven't heard of that. You've at least got to change the name in about 5% of it. Yeah, that's right. So if we're doing girl math and that's for the girlies trying to justify purchases,

who do you want to justify for? Well, I wanted to do gay math because I don't have any girlies on my show. It's just me in the morning. Okay, you want to do a bit of gay math because I don't have any girlies on my show. It's just me in the morning. Okay, you want to do a bit of gay math. Do you think that the rules of girl math, which are basically, you know, everything can be justified to the point where it's basically free. Do you think that applies to the gays? I think so. Yeah, I think we, you know, I'm not going to say I'm one of the girlies, but I'm pretty close. mean I love that for you. So then how will gay math differ from girl math do you think? I don't

think it'll be very different it's just me helping the ladies get through their purchases. I thought you were going to get the gays to ring up with their purchases. Yeah they're like oh no I don't have enough of those in my town. Oh I thought you were going to get

listeners. I was wondering, you're in a country station. Like, stereotypically. Stereotypically, of course. I was imagining it was huge gay. So you want the girlies to ring up and you'll gay math girl math. Exactly, yeah. We'll work on it together because

it's just me and the mark. Right, I thought we were justifying rush purchases or harnesses or something. Yes, I don't know. Losers! I mean, one should never have to justify their harness. Nope. That's my rule. One should never have to justify.

We've got Dimitri on the phone who wants us to justify a ball and gag. Now, the ball and gag. Good Lord. No, I don't think that's Kosher for my audience But what do you mean And now we're gonna play Some Willa Nelson

On Country Music Canada Well look I mean As we say I mean Girl Math is global Everyone's doing it It's on every bloody podcast And radio station And article

I like this evolution Of Girl Math Yeah Oh yeah Girl Math Gay Girl Math You know what I'll take it If you guys are okay With giving me article. I like this evolution of girl math. Yeah. Girl math. Gay girl math. You know what? I'll take it. If you guys are okay with giving me the thumbs up, I will run with it. I mean, the pleasure

of you asking is truly the manners of Canada. Yeah, great manners. As a white male, I'll just say, take this thing that the females of the show invented. By all means. Have at. By all means. Have at. Oh, absolutely.

I've got a purchase if you guys have time to do a little bit of girl math with a gay, hypothetically. Absolutely. Amazing. So I went to Europe for the very first time with my family this past month and in the entire month

that my parents were there, my mom had one request and it was go to a Gordon Ramsay restaurant. Oh, yeah. So I offered to pay and it came out to 491 British pounds, which is about 1050 New Zealand dollars. Wow. Wait, did he? For that kind of money, he better be yelling at you and be there. You know, he, yeah, he was not there, regrettably. Oh, okay. Can I ask how old your mother is? I just want to work out how long she's got left. She'll be 60 in October.

60, so let's give her 30. Okay. We'll give her 30. We're going to break that cost down by 30, because that's how many years you're going to have to hear about it if you didn't take her. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. To this Gordon Ramsay.

So what's that? We'll round it to 1,000. No, no, let's just, how many people were there? There's no point girl-mathing everybody's, right? We've got to break this down to per person first. Okay, that's fair. There was four of us. So what is that?

275 a person. 275 a person. Now, so if mum was $2.75 and she's going to live for 30 more years, can you do a bit of division? Get the girlies on because this is their moment to shine. Less than $10 a year. Less than $10 a year.

So mum's basically free already. You got to eat. So, you know, like I never regret an expensive meal myself. So we don't even need to justify yours. Who were the other tagalongs? My dad and my little sister. Oh, well, dad's the same theory applies. So that's $20 we've got it down to.

And dad would have had to have heard. If you hadn't taken mum, dad would have heard about it way more than you. He would have divorced her. Yeah. And then they would have, like, that's an expensive divorce. All their money and there would have been no inheritance for you because dad would have gone single and ready to mingle. Already half the inheritance is gone. Yeah. So that's an expensive divorce. Blowing all their money and there would have been no inheritance for you because dad would have gone single and ready to mingle. Already half the inheritance

is gone. So that's the same. I don't know how much you're in line for, but there's a lot there. Even if it was $100,000 to $500,000 that he was going to inherit, that would have been gone had he not have taken them to Gordon Ramsay. Girlies, any theories from you? Well, look, did you get an Instagram

photo at this? Yeah, that's important. I did, yes. Both of the meal and the family, you know, having a meal together. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's got to be some math in it there. Priceless. Priceless.

You're saying that's priceless. Okay. It didn't count unless it's on the gram, you know? So you've validated the experience. And by posting about it twice, that's double the validation. Yeah, that's right. Also, if your other option for a meal that night was slightly sketchy and you got

food poisoning, it would have ruined the rest of the holiday, and so that would have been money lost. Yeah, so you're going, your travel insurance is bust, you've got to go to the hospital and you're not in your hometown, that costs money. I mean, we're talking you've actually made thousands here, Tana. You've actually made

thousands. Well, we don't know the inheritance, but even without it, you've already saved a few thousand. Yeah, yeah. And with the inheritance, we don't know. Your parents could be millionaires. We've made this man a millionaire. I mean, you're welcome, Turner. Overnight. Brilliant.

Thank you. Yeah, wow. So that dinner was basically free. The dinner was not only free. We've made Turner a millionaire. Yeah, wow. Just like that. Just like that.

Well, there you go, Turner. See how easily it's done? And I believe the Canadian dollar just went up against the Kiwi dollar yesterday. Oh, okay. So, yeah. He's made even more? He's made even more money?

Depending on where you are. He could be a multi-millionaire. Yeah. Depending on what country. You move to Thailand, I'll tell you what, we're looking at billions. Well, best of luck

and I can't wait to hear how your gay math in Canada on a country music station goes for the girlies. Brilliant. I'll keep my fingers crossed. Thanks, guys. Just a quick check. Do you want to check the Luke Combs?

Is Luke Combs like your Rihanna or Lady Gaga? Okay. Well, I was raised on country music, so I do like it. Like, I like my job. But Lady Gaga is my Lady Gaga. I will say Harry Underwood might be my Katy Perry. Is that okay? Yeah, that makes sense.

Are you playing Luke Combs' Fast Car every 45 minutes on your station too? Every hour and a half, but we throw in a bit of Morgan Wallen too. Oh, we do. That's awesome. We have more pop music. You can have them back anytime you want. Turner, thank you so much. Best of luck with Gay Girl Math. Thank you guys. I really appreciate your time.

Have fun. Nice to chat to you. I forgot to dance. You forgot to dance? You've got to shake it. I was eating a biscuit. Does that count? You've already had a little dance when I asked Vaughan to give me a little something when he was changing his T-shirt. And he really gave it to me. I gave her a full.

You did, yeah. I gave her everything. We're wearing our Girl Math T-shirts that say it's basically free. That's right, because that is the essence of Girl Math. We've never made a promise we'll get each item down to free, by the way. Sometimes it just winds up that way. Sometimes it's just basically free. Sometimes it's basic.

Sam joins us this morning. Good morning, Sam. Good morning. Now, you need the girlies to justify a purchase using Girl Maths. Yes. Now, I'm looking at this purchase. I actually own these. Tell us what you want.

I want some Doc Martin sandals. Yeah. Okay, we're coming. You know, it's going to be spring this weekend. Erin calls these my orthopedics. They are. Very chunky sole. You don't want to go a Birkenstock instead, Sam?

Oh, God, the common person here. I'm so sorry. I really apologise about that. It's forgiven. How much does... Because I'm on number one shoes. No, dude. They'll give you free delivery

if you order over $100 worth of shoes. But they don't have the yellow stitching that says that it's Doc Martens. And I bet you they won't be leather. And if they are, they won't be as high quality as the doctor. You like your ones, but they are chunky though. They're very, very chunky.

Are you a tall girl, Sam? I'm 5'0". Oh yeah, babe, you need a bit of chunk. You're a giant. On the foot. Okay. Well, I know, let's bring in the girlies. Carween. Hello. Shannon. Good morning. Are you ready? Yeah. Yes. Because I believe you've done a bit

of, you've looked at these sandals, do you like them? Absolutely. I'm debating putting them in the car now. Because I believe you've done a bit of, you've looked at these sandals, you like them? Absolutely, I'm debating putting them in the cart now. Oh, we might have done a bit of girl math Sam. I'm easily influenced. Hang on, don't do that because now we're already running at a loss. Because we've got to factor in your girl math. True. You're a separate case. Hey dude, dude, dude, stop

girl math. I just found them number one shoes. Felicia leather sandals, 80 New Zealand dollars and they've got a chunky heel. Oh, they're so ugly, Sam. Oh my God. What about some hush puppies? We're talking comfort. Doc Martens is partly about the cred.

And I get it, man. I don't know if you know the same passion. You've never bought Doc Martens before? Never. It'll be my first. The three of us rock a doc. Yeah, I'm wearing mine right now. We love a doc and they last forever. You've never bought Doc Martens before? Never. It'll be my first ever. The three of us rock a Doc. Yeah, I'm wearing mine right now. We love a Doc.

And they last forever. That's the thing with Doc Martens is you make this purchase. I'm sure the girlies are already going to be breaking this down per use. Okay, well, how are we going to do this with Girl Maths? Right, so let's start. They're a summer show, really. So let's take into account how many days we have in a summer. 90.

No, I would argue this. I've worn it in winter with a sock, but you carry on. But just at a minimum, you know? Yeah, at a minimum. That's right. Global warming. I reckon you could add at least another 30 days. We're playing conservative this month. We don't want born to come down on us.

Some people are saying girl math is frivolous. So we're trying to be more conservative. Yeah. So 90 days of summer. I feel like with the Doc Martin, you've got at least five years of wear in them. Minimum. So that's five years times 90 is 450 days. Yeah.

Now, the average Kiwi does 7,000 steps a day. Oh, wow. Impressive. So if we're working that down to steps, you will walk in these shoes, 3.15 million. We divide the cost of the shoe, which is only 280, by the amount of steps you're doing it. We're talking 0.0009 cents per step. You're telling me that's basically free. That's basically free.

What? Per step? I didn't know you were going to break it down that far. Yeah, and we could even then divide by two because step, you know, we could down that far. Yeah, and we could even then divide by two because step, you know, we could go by foot. Yeah, right. So we are assuming, I mean, do you feel like you're going to thrash these or are you going to save them for special occasions?

I feel like I'll thrash them in the summer. Okay, so we're going 90 days. What part of the country do you live in? Wellington. And you can't beat it on a good day. Yeah, but that one good day. No, there's like four in the summer. Four good days.

Very wet, and you're not supposed to get leather wet, are you? No, but Wellington is very much a sock sandal city. Like, you can fashion this, and you know fashion is a passion. You can wear a sock with this. Do you know what? You could wear a stocking with it. Yeah, you could wear a stocking. You could wear a stocking.

You could wear a jockeying. You could wear anything with these. Okay. Do some blocking. Do you know what? Because I own these, I've got a stocking. You could wear a stocking. You could wear a jockeying. You could wear anything with these. Okay. Do some blocking. Do you know what? Because I own these, I've got a bit of, it may deter you to buy them, but then I might bring you back on track.

Because I own these shoes and I wore them to a, well, I wore them to a tangi. There you go. I did. I wore them to a tangi. Yeah, strange choice of shoe. It was a summer tangi. It was a summer tangi. Go barefoot then. It them to a tangi. Yeah, strange choice of shoe. Can't wear a sandal to a tangi. It was a summer tangi.

You go barefoot then. It was a summer tangi. Now, that's a formal shoe. We could even break down that purse cap. Did you take them off outside the marae or did you? Of course I wore off. But when we were outside at the picnic afterwards, I did not wear these into a marae and I recommend no one does.

But I actually took a tumble in them. They're a bit loose. Now, I will give you a heads up, Sam, that the buttonholes on these can run for a wider foot. Now, I'm a narrow foot. Long but narrow. Skinny foot. Wow.

Skinny foot. So I took a tumble and I twisted my ankle, right? I was fine, but I don't know, Sam being smaller, I'm going to imagine that she's maybe a bit not as built like a rock as I am. Yeah. So you might take it. It's just less of a fall to the ground, isn't it? Less of a fall to the ground, but you might break your ankle.

Now, I've looked up a number of cases where people have sued shoe companies for injuries caused by their shoes being unstable or not fit for use. Now, here's an example of a woman. She sued a company for $10 million for misleading customers on the safety of their shoes. You may think it sounds ridiculous. She won $3.5 million of it, and that's in the United States. Now, I hate...

We've got ACC. You can't do that here. It will negate that. Yeah, but ACC, now you're going, now you're getting, okay, I was trying to get you $3.5 million, Sam. Sorry, but the boys are poo-pooed there. But if you're going to ACC, when I go to ACC, I chuck a few other things in there.

You can't do that. You know what I mean? So you're saying now that she could get free physio. I twisted my ankle. Now they're saying you get physio where you can get your shoulder fixed, you can get your neck fixed, You can get your neck fixed. You can get your arm fixed and get that funny knee fixed. Now you're getting hundreds and

hundreds of dollars worth of physiotherapy sessions free all because you bought these Doc Martin sandals. I might even chip my tooth on the way down. Now we're getting veneers. Now we're getting veneers. We're getting Invisalign. We're getting veneers. She can't go about her life with a mangled mouth.

This is Sam we're talking about. Somebody's messaged in saying, are you after the Blair 3 sandal? No, not the Blair 3. Oh, okay. Because they're on sale at the moment. No, it's the Miles. It's the Miles.

It's new season, Hon. Keep up. It's fashion. Sorry, sorry. So now, look, I'm going to go. You've got a year of ACC physiotherapy appointments. How much, Fletch, you go to physio. How much is your? Oh, you pay got a year of ACC physiotherapy appointments. Fletch, you go to physio. How much is your?

You pay $20 and then the ACC's the rest. Okay, so you're going, say $20 times, how many appointments are we going to do this year? We'll say 48. 48 appointments. Now you've got $960 minus $279. You've made $183. I don't know if you have.

Now, you've made $183. You can get these sandals and Vaughn's shit sandals twice over from Number One Shoe Warehouse. Now, she's got three pairs of shoes. If you break down three pairs of shoes per step, I mean, it's just ludicrous. And almost a daily physio. Yeah, and a daily physio.

You can get a massage in there, get the knots out of your neck. I'm a new woman and have new shoes. Yeah, and a daily physio. You can get a massage in there, get the knots out of your neck. I'm a new woman and have new shoes. Yeah. There you go, Sam. You've got to get the shoes, Sam. It's basically free.

It is. It's not basically free. She's in the profits, honey. She's making money. Boy, this will have silenced the online haters who said this is frivolous and also gives women

a bad name when it comes to finance. I would challenge them to argue with our argument here, to be fair. Boy, you've really shown them. Play ZM's Fletch Vornanale.

Play ZM. Girl Math. Girl Math. Girl Math. Girl Math. Well, it's taken the world by a storm. Girl Math. That's right. All over TikTok. It's been on BuzzFeed. It's been on all these incredible news websites around the world. Absolutely.

And some brands are using it, right, to advertise things. They're saying, like, if you think you can't afford this thing, Girl Math it. I admire their... It's basically free. Exactly. Well, they're jumping on a trend, aren't they? They are jumping on a trend. We are trendsetters.

F-E-H-Z-M. Now, Bunnings, a massive company, have shared on their TikTok a bit of girl math, right? They have a stool, an outdoor decorative stool. It's cute. Is it for sitting on or a table? Well, that's the debate, right? It's an outdoor decorative stool.

Okay. So in their girl math, they've said, girl math your It's an outdoor decorative stool. Okay. So in their Girl Maths, they've said, Girl Math your way to owning this decorative stool. And they show the stool, and they say you can use the stool as a seat, as a plant stand, as a side table,

as an accessory stand to display home decor. Basically, you're getting many pieces of furniture for the price of one, and if you use it every day, it's less than a dollar a day. So this stool is basically, they don't say it's basically free. They're saying it's a dollar a day

if you use it every day. They've absolutely missed the mark. But I don't know if a business can say it's basically free because then people are going to rock in and be like. People like Shannon that don't know how chickens work are going to walk into Bunnings and say, I want my free stool.

Good thing she's pretty. I say it every day. Good thing she's pretty. Now, girlies, the thing, the whole point of Girl Math is to get it down as low as you can imagine to the fact that it's basically free. They're saying a dollar a day if you use it every day. So they're saying it's $89. So they're saying this stool that I'm spending $89 is only going to last 89 days.

Yeah, surely it's going to last longer than that. We've just looked up the material. It's cement. It's cement! Oh, I've got it's going to last forever. It could last forever. It probably hasn! Oh, I've got it. It's going to last forever. It could last forever. It probably hasn't even finished curing properly yet. And after you use it as cement,

you could put it into some kind of grinder and use it as driveway. I mean, already I can think of a thousand different uses for this still. Well, I've just seen it's about 19 kgs and looking at the price of concrete, you know, that's about $20 to $30 worth of concrete. So you're already knocking that off the price.

You're already wh that off the price. You're already whacking off the cost of the materials that they're making here. So you want to do better girl maths. I want to do better girl maths. For Bunnings. For Bunnings. Okay, right. Now, in Bunnings, have we got the Bunnings theme tune?

Yeah, I can bring that in for you. Yeah, I'd quite like that. We'll also need it delivered in style of Bunnings employee. Okay. You know, the ads. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know. Okay.

Here at Bunnings, we like to keep prices low, so I want to tell you how to girl math this stool so that it's not $89, it's basically free. I love my job. They're not paying me to do this ad. Can't believe it. They actually don't. They're going to call me in on my day off. Yeah, they'll do this ad. They actually don't. They could have called me on my day off. Yeah, they'll do that too.

Hi, I'm Cassandra and I work at Bunnings. Here's how this still is not a dollar a day. It's way less. Now, you can use this still five different ways. That's what Bunnings told me. If you're using this every day for a year, it's

365 divided by five different ways. So that's $73. So you've already knocked that off and you remove $30. Now it's $40. Divide that by five for the use. That's $8. So it's not $89. It's $8.

And then if you're going to gravel it up and put it into a driveway, how much does it cost to re-gravel a driveway? Thousands. Now you're making thousands. You'd have to go down to Old 37 and ask them. It's not really my area of expertise. They won't know either. Shots fired.

She's a minor 10 girl. Let's say it's $2,000 to re-gravel a driveway. You've just made yourself. What, are you going to smash up the concrete table yourself? Yeah. I don't think it's going to re-gravel an entire driveway. No, it'll do it. And here's some backfill, though.

It'd be great for backfill if you're doing a retaining wall. Here at Bunnings, you can buy this stool and make $1,992. Bunnings, you can count on us to keep our prices down. That's the countdown one, isn't it? We'll beat any competitors priced by 15% or more. We'll beat it by 15%.

Oh, well, let's add 15% then. Let's take away by 992 minus 15%. You're literally making about $3,000. Roughly.

Per table. It's basically free. Per table. Bunnings thought that it was going to be a dollar a day. They've grossly overestimated the cost of this stool. It's basically free. There you go, you've done it. I love Bunnings

and I love working for Bunnings. Thank you, Cassandra. Thank you. I'm Cassandra from Bunnings. And cut. Cassandra, get back to the garden centre. Sorry, I'm going now. Jesus.

Sorry, I'll leave. There are big, really big, weird, flat trolleys that need to be put back in the rack. Okay, I'll go. Get out of here. Do I get paid for this ad? Absolutely not. No, you don't.

I'm advertising the company. Yeah, but it's a great experience to get your face out there. If this was a one-ten-year, I'd get paid. A casting director might see you on this ad and be like, that's who I want to cast. Hang on, now this person who works at Bunnings is going to be making, what did someone make on their last film? I mean, what is...

Well, Margot Roberts just made, what do they reckon, close to over $100 million. Oh, my God, you buy the stool from Bunnings and you're a Bunnings employee. You're making millions. You are potentially sitting on $100 million. You buy the stool from Bunnings and you're a Bunnings employee. You're making millions. You are potentially sitting on $100 million. I counted 79 all rights today.

Fletch, I believe that's a new personal record. Oh, f*** off. How many of those did you count? 79 of those too. All right. Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rate and review. Oh, f*** off. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.