ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Little Bitta Pod - 31st August 2023

Episode Date: August 30, 2023

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley read out a few 'Not Safe For Air' texts we received during our "What did you Accidentally Lick?" Phoner!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Fletchbourne and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with MyMackers Rewards. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod. And today, in a rare move, in a rare move, the A Little Bit of Pod won't work without the Big Bit of Pod. Oh yes. Really?

Yeah, you've got to listen to the Big Bit of Pod for the 31st of August. Thursday. Thursday. Thursday. So we'll see you later. You go listen to that, and then you come back here, and then it'll all make sense. Yeah, because it'll pick up where you stopped listening. Bye. We had a lot of messages for what you've accidentally licked, and some of them were a bit manky.

You licked a cable. As people have just heard on the Big Bitter Pod, you licked an exercise machine's cable. You manky bitch. Here's some. I'll say it. I'm just going to scroll through lots of messages. Okay. A few people licking jelly meat and stuff off a fork.

Just kind of like, I can lick this because it's a fork. Autopilot? Yeah, autopilot. Lick the fork. I hate jelly meat so much. I know. Do you feed your cat jelly meat? Never in a thousand years

have I got too much respect for him. Yeah. My dog. Can I submit on behalf of my dog? Because it got into our room when I was making love and licked my partner's bum hole. Bum hole.

What makes a dog want to... Okay, yeah, right, cool. I love that. That also wasn't an accident. No. Dogs don't lick things by accident. Nah. I accidentally licked dish soap

There was a blob of soap on the top And my brain, again autopilot Was like this is what I'd do if it was a sauce bottle And licked it They lick off the top of the sauce bottle It's all congealed So it wasn't a glob on the bench It was actually on top of the bottle

You just had a little dribble I think I was so disgusted I was like I had a little dribble. I was dribbled. I think I was so disgusted. I was like, oh. I had a little dribble before. What were we talking about? And I went, and my whole computer screen is now filthy with spit. We're wetting here.

It's weird when you go to clean your computer screen and you're like, look at it. Oh, yeah. It's just spittle. It's manky. It's so gross. My stepdad was eating Chinese food in bed. I'm sorry,

that is an all new low. If you're eating takeouts in bed. How good's Chinese food though? He was in the pits of depression and he was eating Chinese food in bed and the dog came in to visit and he thought he'd dropped some Chinese food on his arm so he licked it off but it turned out it was the goobers out of the dog's eyes. Which would look like a

sweet and sour sauce. It would. You'd be like, oh, a little crumb. Yum. When my partner and I were still quite fresh, like we'd only just got together, he didn't know what bobby pins were. Okay. They're those hair pins.

Yes. They're everywhere. You find them everywhere. I explained and told them that my dad actually uses them to clean his ears because he can get in and drag the wax out. A couple of weeks later, I was sitting in traffic and fixing my hair and I put my bobby pin in my mouth and I realized that he had taken up that habit

and started sticking them in his ears because I could taste wax. Sucking your partner's ear wax has got to be up there with the worst. Yeah, that's pretty gross. That's pretty yuck. Another one I know we mentioned in the big pod But somebody licked chocolate off their hand And it was dog poo Or some sort of poo

A stranger accidentally spat food on me While I was talking I thought it was my food that I accidentally spat So I reached down, picked it up and ate it And my friend who both saw the stranger Spit the food on me And also me eat the food Laughed so hard and has never let me live it down. That's upsetting.

Can't name a time or anything. Can't name a certain time or anything because I'm a dairy farmer, but the amount of times I've itched my nose or gone to put something in my mouth because I needed my hands and the object or hand had been covered in cow shit. It's up there. You would have done that working on the cow shit. Yeah, yeah. Or you just turn around and you're talking, you're like, and then a cow poos and it splats

up and you get a little bit in your mouth. No, thanks to that job. It's so hard. It's so hard. My idiot partner said our toilet was so clean due to our new cleaner at our tradie office that he could lick it. And then he did. Yuck. That's not accidental. He just straight up licked the toilet. That's straight up

licking. Yeah. That's really gross. Would you do that if you just cleaned it? No, because I don't want to lick bleach and pine and cleaning stuff either. For a thousand dollars? Yeah. Okay. I thought I was going to have to end up going to like a million, but no. A thousand.

You found her, yeah. Let's go. She's doing a reno. She needs all the money she can. Yep, a thousand's fine. A thousand's fine. I'll do it. 500 even. Dissecting sheep's lungs in high school,

and a guy in our group was dangling a piece in front of his mouth with his tongue out going, I'm going to eat it. So my friend whacked his hand. Yes. And it went into his mouth. Did you hear producer Jared, it's just out of the room at the moment,

he was saying in science, the science teacher put a tube onto the lungs and was inflating them to show how lungs work and then he got lung juice. When it was full accidentally inhaled

and got lung juice in their mouth. That's disgusting. Far out. I bet lung juice is so gross. I reckon it's like bitter and creamy.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God's like bitter and creamy. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. When me and my brother were young, we were wrestling. And after, I saw a delicious Hubba Bubba Coke flavor chewing gum on the ground. I picked it up and I almost got it in my mouth when I realized it wasn't. My brother had sharted while we were wrestling. And it was a nug of his poo.

That's not true. That's not true. That's not true. No, that's not true. Well, they kind of got it to the lip. That's not true. That Coca-Cola cup of button,

that's not true. Because you chew into it. No! Nug! As my work, we used to have an employee who regularly left a toilet bowl

covered in shit. And as one of the early birds that needed a wee before I went into my work, we used to have an employee who regularly left a toilet bowl covered in shit. And as one of the early birds that needed a wee before I went into my class, I invariably got the mess and had to clean it up. One day when agorably cleaning the mess, poo would have flicked up into my mouth. I hate when you're brushing the toilet. Oh my God, and it flicks. It just goes into my hands. I always try to keep my mouth out of line of sight of the brush.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's no good. That's actually how I got Giardia. Was it? Was it how? Yeah, I think that's how. I thought it was how. Oh, Jesus.

Was cleaning the bathroom for our flat inspection. I was mopping the floor and there was a ball of hair stuck to the mop, so I picked it up and I was trying to flick it off the mop, and when I flicked it, it reversed and went into my mouth. Yeah, okay. why are we reading these? I think I've reached my limit for these I feel like I'm out. I'm tapping out as well. I think we're done. Thank you for those

messages. Yeah thank you but no thank you. No more friend of mine licked off her hand what she thought was avocado that she just put on toast it was baby's poos. Green as baby. Might as well have had a greeny brown to it. Don't eat with your mouth... Don't talk with your mouth

full, please. Well, what, as if this podcast isn't gross enough. Go for it, hun. Someone accidentally licked their hair straightener when it was on and sizzled their tongue.

That's dumb. Why are you licking your hair straightener? I don't know. This is how she does her hair. She's like... Oh, wow.

All right, let's end that there because Hayley and I have a lunch date. Yeah, we do. We do. You're not coming. You're eating damn porridge. Yep.

Sad life. Are you being healthy or something? What's happening? Don't be healthy. It's honestly the most boring life. Because you're starting a gym challenge today. Is that why? No, it's tomorrow.

I thought it was today. This is the how many- I got my day planned out. What are you doing? The steps challenge. Yeah, 300,000 steps. As quick as you can. This is insane.

You don't want fried potatoes instead? That's why you should come on a hike at the weekend if it's fine. It's Father's Day. Saturday. My weekend's spoken for. I'm going to see my father on Saturday, so on Sunday I can revel in the fact that I am to a father. No, you're lying.

Me and Vaughn are having lunch on Sunday. That's not happening, by the way. I'm bailing on that last minute. Don't tell Hayley. I've made a booking for you and your wife and your kids. It's a Father's Day and they just made plans without consulting the father. Well, your wife has already said yes. I'll see you at the pub on Sunday.

All right. I'll see you then.