ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Overtime Podcast - 12th March 2023

Episode Date: March 11, 2023

Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley pull some Overtime, and ponder SeagullsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley's Overtime Podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Drive through and get a cup of barista-made McCafe coffee on the go. Well, Carween, our executive producer, we cross to her now because there is a question she would like to ask us. The internet has been asking and now we shall be asked. It's been burning in my brain

for a few days now. And I finally had the balls to ask you guys about it and here we are. Are we unapproachable? Dude, your balls are massive. Are we unapproachable? Do you think we're unapproachable? Yeah, she does worry about asking us things.

If you think of us as individuals, individually, do you think you're unapproachable? That's what I aim to be. I aim to be unapproachable so people leave me alone and only come to me in an absolute emergency. I think I'm approachable. I'm a friend magnet.

You're approachable. You are very approachable. You'd probably be the most approachable out of all of us. Thank you. Okay, Karwen. Approach us. This is a TikTok, right? One of my favorite questions to ask people is,

how many seagulls would you have to find in your house before you started to get suspicious that someone was putting them there? Putting them there. Wait, are they inside the house? Yes, inside the house. They're not on the front deck? Inside the house. I don't live close to the ocean.

You do so. Where? You do. You live right on the harbour. No, she doesn't. No, I don't. Yes, you do do. You live right on the harbour. No she doesn't. No you don't. Yes you do. Oh the end of the harbour. That's not. That's a river. Seagulls can find there.

It's a swamp. It's an estuary. It's an estuary but seagulls live there. It's salt water. I literally live like 10 metres from a harbour. Fill it in with rocks and dirt and make it a usable piece of reclaimed land. I just meant like 10 metres from a harbour. Yeah. You do. Fill it in with rocks and dirt and make it a usable piece of reclaimed land. I just mean like the seaside.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't really live near the seaside. But then that always blows my mind at an inland, like, I would need clarification on this, but I believe even at Palmerston North there'd be seagulls at the dump. Oh my God, I literally. She lives, even I, who cannot throw, could throw a rock from the top of your house into the ocean. Okay, okay.

I live quite close to the ocean. That inlet does come quite close to your house. So close that maybe in a few years my house might slip into it. Yeah, yeah. Are there seagulls at the Palmerston North dump? Because there were seagulls at the Morrinsville dump, which was crazy growing up. There's always seagulls.

I think there's a local population of seagulls. And you can always tell there's a storm coming if they're in the city, seagulls at the Morrinsville dump, which was crazy growing up. There's always seagulls. I think it's a local population of seagulls. And you can always tell there's a storm coming if they're in the city, seagulls. Oh, really? I don't know. Is that a thing? Yeah. Because there's seagulls in central Auckland all the time. You know, in the square, the pigeons and the seagulls shall mix.

They eat. Oh, my God. I know. I've seen that. I've seen a seagull eating a pigeon. They're not fussy. It's gross. I like that about them.

I would eat a pigeon last Of all the birds I would eat And I just want to Just because it's popped in my mind I don't want us to forget We can't forget the Podcast, the idea we've got for the show About eating things Oh yeah, celebrities

How would you eat a celebrity I don't know, I think the jury's out Give me a bird, I'll tell you how I'd cook it. A sparrow. Oh, fucking impossible. A skewer. I'd get multiple sparrows. Yes.

And skewer them. Like a shrimp skewer, but it would be sparrows. Sparrows. What about that Middle Eastern style, like on a metal rod? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shish kebab. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Slowly roast.

Shave a little bit of sparrow off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No kebab. Yeah, yeah, that's the kebab. Yeah. But wait, I think we've gone past the fact... We have, sorry. I've taken...

That Carlwyn's question says, how many seagulls would have to be appearing... In your house. ...at once for you to get suspicious someone has put them there? Now, is the window closed? This is very vague. Yeah, let's say the window's closed.

Let's say the window's closed. Okay, well, immediately, I would be suspicious two or more. At the same time. Two could have just come in. From where, though? I don't know. Well, you also live very close to the ocean.

I live very close to the ocean. Almost closer than Hayley. No one lives closer to the ocean than me. You can see it better than Hayley, but you're not closer than me. I can see the ocean. So I would be like, oh, well, maybe they got in the window shut, and now I'll let them out. Two, fine.

Because if they were like the next day and they're back, plus a third. Window's still shut. I'll be immediately suspicious. That someone's putting them there. And then I'd ring up a camera to find who's putting them. I don't think my brain would immediately go, someone's putting them here.

My brain would go, the original seagull is telling the other seagulls, and they're getting in. My question would be, how are they getting in? Oh, yeah, because they've got a vast network. They do. Cat door at my house, I just assumed if all windows and doors were shut, they'd have to be coming through the cat door. But then they'd be restricted to the laundry.

So what's your number? What's your number of seagulls in the house? Well, I'm a very suspicious person. If it was one seagull, I'd be like, who the fuck did this? That's what I'd say. Yeah. Who the fuck put this in here? When we used to live in our old house.

By the ocean? No, not by the ocean. I can say that. Not far from the ocean, though. Is it? No, because across the road. What are you talking about? In Avondale.

Avondale. Yeah, so across the road was Jump. And then if you go to the end of that road, there across the road, what are you talking about in Avondale? Avondale. Yeah, so across the road was Jump, and then if you go to the end of that road, there's the ocean. Why are you never aware of the fact that you're vicinity to the ocean? I'm now showing Ailey a map of the ocean right by her old house. You're always so close to the ocean. She keeps showing me maps of my house. Yeah, she's going to get a tsunami alert.

She'll be like, no need to panic. I live nowhere near the ocean. That's the road I lived on. Yeah. It's literally surrounded by ocean. But at that in Avondale you never wanted to be a pigeon house

because those were the houses there was just some houses that would be covered in pigeons and you'd walk past and be like, oh they're a pigeon house. And then we became a duck house and ducks would keep turning up and we were like, no, no, no, we're not a duck house. We were so conscious of them becoming a duck house. You should have hung a Peking out on the letterbox.

Let them know. That would show them. There was a pigeon house in Te Atatu Peninsula where we used to live. And we'd walk past and there would always be pigeons. There was shit everywhere. Carved in them. And then the house got sold. The house got painted.

And there was no pigeons anymore. Because the pigeons. And I said to the person, how did you get rid of the pigeons? And he said, do you really want to know? And that tells me he shot them. But now he's deterring more pigeons from coming. Tell the others. Tell the others.

Yeah. Fucking tell them. You tell them. You tell them what I did here today. You want to live in a pigeon house, you got to go through me. I got a message for the pigeons. This is on the day of my daughter's wedding. If pigeons had an accent, it is 100% Italian New York.

Italian New York. Hey, I'm fucking eating something here. Oh, I just realised I did the whole show with my headphones on backwards. Well, that means the show's backwards then, isn't it? We're going to have to play this in reverse. Well, should we speak in reverse and hopefully they'll work out the other way? Yes.

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