ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Overtime Podcast - 25th March 2023

Episode Date: March 24, 2023

Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley crank out some Overtime, and hear how Vaughan treats guests in his house!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley Overtime Podcast. It is thanks to McCampeh. Drive through and get a cup of barista-made McCampeh coffee on the go. I want a cup of barrister-made coffee. Yes, I want to see barristers at McCampeh in the wicks. In the wigs, the roads

You will be held in contempt of this drive-thru Mochaccino, please Coconut milk Your honour, I move to strike coconut milk from the record That would be a barrister maid That would be a barrister maid A barrister being a barista Massive confusion

Constantly getting confused Which really stuffed up my last divorce I got nothing A massive confusion Yes Constantly getting confused Very Which really stuffed up my last divorce Yeah I got nothing And you were jacked on caffeine I was like Yeah

Something I do When my daughter has friends over If I've not met them before Because a lot of the time If they come around after school I will have I will have been napping Or at least having a little

20 minute lie down Okay So I'll walk out Not on my at least having a little 20-minute lie down. Okay. And so I'll walk out, not in my undies. I always get reclothed if I hear strange voices and it backfired on me this week because I usually walk in and I go, who the hell is this? Like that. Okay, yeah.

Who the hell is this? Confrontational. Yeah. But I say it to like my children but pointing directly at this child I've never met. Point at a child who's been welcomed into your home and you say who the hell is this

like what is this kid doing here like almost like they've invited the friend around and they've not run it past dad who the hell is this

and I did it and usually they like laugh and like this is Layla every second child is called Layla by the way yeah a lot of Laylas

a lot of Laylas are they the new Jadens and Cadens there's still a few Jadens around. Oh, no, they're very well behaved. Okay. The Leilas that have been to our house, very well behaved young ladies. And I said, who the hell is this?

And the friend got really sad and, like, got scared and went and hid in their room. Four. Oh, my God. You've got to stop doing that. Did you get told off? Sade told me off. Yeah. And he was like, Dad, don't do that.

So you made her feel sad and upset and unwelcome. Yeah. But now she's there. So she hid in the room. Oh my God, yeah. Did you apologize to this poor child? Now let me think. No, because I went outside to do some chores and didn't see the child again before they left.

So now they have an image of you that'll never change. You know that, eh? But this is good. Scary dad. But they don't want to come to our house. They want to come to our house. Oh, they've got a tree hut. The kids never use the tree hut unless friends are over.

Right. Really? Oh, they've got a tree hut. But you know what it's like when you get used to something and you're like, meh, and then someone else comes and they don't have one of those at their house. So they're like, what's that? Is that a tree hut? Can we go in there?

Yeah. Oh, let's go see the animals and the pigs and stuff. And people are like, well, you must love having the girl's friends around and show them the animals and stuff. I'm like, don't be under any misunderstanding. I want those animals for me. Yeah. It's not to make your place a cool place to come.

No, I don't want to be the cool place to be. Yeah. I don't want them there. I want my children there. I'm not fussing about other people's children. Yeah. But they were, yeah, they were nice kids. I'm not fussing about other people's children. Yeah. But they were nice kids. I feel like the one that got scared.

Right. So next time she comes over. I don't think there'll be a next time for that one. She doesn't either. Your daughters will be like, oh my God, Layla, come over and play. We're going to have a fun day. Layla's welcome anytime. I didn't say it to Layla.

Oh, right. It was a different one. Layla's good. I've met Layla before. Yeah, okay. So this is a new kid. Yeah. Who thinks you're a scary monster. Layla, the first time I did say, Jesus, those are a different one. Layla's got to have met Layla before. Yeah, okay. So this is a new kid. Yeah. Who thinks you're a scary monster.

Layla, the first time I did say, Jesus, those are some big feet. What? How big are her feet? Like Sade's size foot. Like she wore Sade's boots. Like flippers. Yeah, and no, she wore Sade's boots. You can't go in and comment on her body part like that.

That's a strange thing to do. She put them on and then she was like, oh, Sade, we're going somewhere. She's like, Sade, can I wear your Crocs? Sade's like, sure. I was like, what? Jesus, those are big feet. She's going to go get bloody binding surgery to make her feet smaller. She can swim, though.

You're going to be such an embarrassing dad in a few years. This is not going to go down well. Yeah. Because there's another one, Batty Gala. I always yell out the window to her when we're leaving school. I'm like, Slay Queen, Batty Gala. I was always thinking about Batty Gala. I can't with her.

Her name's just Gala, but she calls herself Batty Gala. How long before Vaughn's banned from school pickup? I don't know, like this week? You're going to have to wait around the corner. But then I get banned from school pickup.up. I don't know, like this week? You're going to have to wait around the corner. But then I get banned from school pick-up. Bingo. Yeah. That's bingo.

Half an hour of my afternoon that I've just reclaimed. You know? God, they're lucky to be picked up. It's a long game. Where to bike home? Then a bus goes past the end of our road. Oh, get the bus. Oh, my God.

You are cotton-wooling these children. I know. Get them out on the mean streets of West Auckland. Yeah, get them out cycling along dangerous, narrow, winding country roads where assholes drive like fucking maniacs. I drive at least 120 near your place. It is a 60-kilometer zone. I hope you absolutely have your license revoked.

Beautiful roads. Just the car just sticks in the corners. Oh, my God. Anyway. Oh, I'm busting for a wheeze after that podcast, I'll tell you. It's a podcast. You are allowed to listen to it while you're wheeze. There's no rules on when and where you're allowed to listen to a podcast.

It just says here I'm busting for a wheeze. I read it. Okay, I read it. Give us a review.