ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Podcast - 29th March 2023

Episode Date: March 28, 2023

Top 6: Pigeons  Nerf Gun Vaccines?  Silly Little Poll!  The Hot Cross Bun Index!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Thank you, Sam. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. Well, I've done it. I'm wearing shoes. Yeah. Today. I'm wearing shoes again. I have to wear shoes. No. I'm not wearing shoes.

Stockies. Oh, you did Birkenstocks. Birkenstocks. Yeah. Oh, but you drive to work. You get a nice... Yeah. Oh, I just live in, you know, constant creature comforts. Oh, but you drive to work. You get a nice... Yeah. Oh, I just live in, you know, constant creature comforts. Oh, same.

Do you know the Audi's got heat seaters? Heat seaters? Yeah. Seat heaters? No, heaters seaters. Heaters seaters. Seat heaters. Heaters seaters.

It's got heater seaters. Heater seaters. Are you kidding me? Audi heater seaters. It's not cold enough for a heated seat yet. It makes you feel like you've done a runny fart. Soggy poo. Yeah. I've been in cars with heater seaters. He heater seaters. It's not cold enough for a heated seat yet. It makes you feel like you've done a runny fart. Soggy poo. I've been in cars with heater seaters.

Heater seaters. Seat heaters. And it's weird. I don't like my bum being that hot. No, it makes me feel a bit crook. Yeah. Heating from the tush up, you're like, oh, what the hell? Are you saying a bad word about the Audi?

I would not, dear. It must be what a pie feels like when you cook it in the microwave. Yeah, like the top's still cold. Yeah, and some parts are cold, some parts are way too hot. It's a very unnatural feeling. Yeah. But a cold blast coming, isn't it? Yeah, tomorrow's going to be the coldest day. And yeah, they are saying

conserve your electricity in Christchurch. Why? Because there's a substation that is being repaired. It was scheduled maintenance. Great timing. Great timing. Great timing. So maybe they're saying if you can put off charging your car or doing a load of washing.

I believe it was just Canterbury. Currently around the country, Queenstown's on one, Christchurch is on five, Lenham's on one. I'm just looking, most North Island cities are in the single digits. A bit warmer once you get to Gizzy. Ten.

I saw some snow on some ski fields yesterday. Yeah. I'm going to Queenstown on Friday. Oh, you're going to be freezing cold. By the way, come and see me at Sky City. I'm doing a comedy night. You're running the blackjack table again. Yeah, I'm there.

I'm just one of the gals. He's crowbarring a plug in. A little plug. Yeah, me, Justin Smith and Paul Douglas were going down to do some comedy in Queenstown. But I didn't realise it's going to be cold. I have to get my Huffapuffa. God, you're going to need your heater seaters too. I don't need my heater seaters.

Bring your heater seaters. Could you just take your seat out of the Audi? Yeah, and bring it on the plane. Just to warm yourself. Bring it on the plane. I think planes do do BYO seats. You can just switch them out. Yeah.

Do you... Oh, no. Friday's going to be 18 degrees. It's fine. 18? In Queenstown. It's going to go from zero now to 18 on Friday? Yeah, with a low of nine.

Good God. I think I'll pack the puffer. Yeah, pack the heater seat up. That's really all over the shop, isn't it? Isn't it? Yeah. Mmm. Mmm.

Right. I don't fit my jeans. I'm not ready for cold weather. It's dress season. You can just get some more. Dresses. Get bigger jeans. Made for all thighs.

Yeah, I couldn't fit a jeans. When you see them, are they too big or too small? Bless me. Bless me. Yeah, good boy. Good boy, actually. He did so good, yeah. He deals with women a lot.

He's done well there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that was good, actually. Yeah. so good, yeah. He deals with women a lot. He's done well there. Yeah. Yeah, that was good, actually. Yeah. Just give in and get trackies. I couldn't imagine you on a plane in trackies. Am I there?

No, you're not. You're not. I don't think I'm there. No, definitely not. Coming up on the show, the top six. Yeah, there's too many pigeons. What do you do with that many pigeons? This is an Ash Burden, isn't it?

Yes. And they're refusing to cull them. They don't want to cull them. You're an Ash Burden. Every Tom, Dick and Harry's probably got a rifle in their ute. Yeah. Have a competition. Yeah.

You know how they do like a possum pooch? Yeah. And everyone will get together and they shoot possums or rabbits and then you get together at the local primary school and you lay them all out and you count them all up and whoever killed the most animals gets a prize. It's quite ruthless, isn't it? Gross.

But they're a pest. You want a pigeon purge? Yeah. I could go a pigeon purge. I've got the top six things to do with all these pigeons. Okay, it's coming up on the show next, though. We might be seeing the end of the passport. Oh, good. Thank God, because how much of a the show. Next, though. We might be seeing the end of the passport. Oh, good.

Thank God, because how much of a panic is it? I know. When you're like, who is it? And how many times has Vaughn left it on a plane? Well, they're going to be using something potentially. What did you leave? No, what about when you went to LA for Disneyland? Didn't you leave something on the plane?

No. I feel like you did. Yeah, you did. No, I didn't leave anything on the plane. You're your bag. Didn't you leave your bag? Colin's nodding. You've definitely

left something on the plane. I left my iPad on a domestic flight but it was there waiting for me next time I went to the airport. I feel like you left your passport

in the seat pocket. I can't remember that. I was riddled with COVID. Yeah, that flight was a foggy dream. Foggy times. Well, it's next on the show. The end of the passport. Something you won't

be able to leave behind. Academics have collectively got together to make some predictions on how we may travel in the future. This was part of EasyJet's 2070 report, The Future Travel. Oh, is it 15 seats across?

Oh, gosh. But the chairs are like smaller. Yeah, yeah. And your knees are like kind of up by your head. Yeah, humans are getting bigger, we're getting smaller. No, it wasn't about that. They covered a few things.

One was the idea that if you were travelling, you wouldn't need a passport. You could just use a heartbeat scanner. What? So as you would check in, you would go through this thing that would scan your heartbeat, identify who you are, and go forward. When you said no passport, I thought you were going to meet biometrics like face.

Face scanning. I know. I think that's probably the next step, but they're talking about right in the future. 2070. How unique is your heartbeat, though? Is it a fingerprint? Is it a fingerprint unique? Is it a fingerprint?

I thought it was just a rhythm. However way to find out you've got a bloody... A dicky heart. What do they call it? Angina. A giant... No. Angina is...

That's a bit further down. No, that's... And your heart goes... I mean, what are you... You won't be getting that out of the airport. Only half of us have one of those. They scan your angina and then it... No, angina is a type of chest pain caused by reduced blood pressure to the heart.

Arrhythmic. Irregular. Irregular heartbeat. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But I've got a really low heart rate. Well, that's your fingerprint. That's your fingerprint.

But, I mean, I've got... You'd have the same heartbeat as someone else, right? Maybe they scan the actual heart or something. I mean, this is future science. They don't actually have to prove how it's going to work. We're definitely close to... A lot of airports are already doing this, doing the facial scans and letting you through without a passport.

I like to pull a little face. I just do a little face to see if they can recognise me. Still does, very smart. I'm happy to go and talk to the desk. Yeah, I've had that. I got to talk to the desk. I was like, I know it's been a long four-week holiday, but do I look that bad?

Yeah, yeah. Am I that haggard? Another prediction for 50 years' time, the way we travel, is that guests will have to bring no luggage. Yeah. And guests would arrive at their holiday destination or their hotel or maybe even at the airport. They could choose from a selection of 3D-printed recyclable clothes. What?

Yeah. That's weird. So you wouldn't have to do anything. You'd just go there and be like, boop, boop, doop, doop, doop. So that would be a way of making it more cost effective because you wouldn't have the weight of everybody's luggage. Yeah, no luggage. So then you wouldn't need the fuel for that extra weight.

Yeah, probably. So you could literally just turn up, walk into the airport, get to your destination and then kind of be into it already. Another prediction is, I like this one, this is a try before you buy. So you could maybe like pick a

couple of holiday destinations and then using kind of VR you could experience not only the sights, but the sounds, the smells, and the feeling of their destination before they book their tickets. See, I like to know where I'm going and do enough research

to know that I've got a good place to stay, but I don't like to look at too much online. I don't like to ruin what I'm going to see. Like plan out every meal. Yeah. Well, that could help you book a ticket before you go. And then the last one was, of course, time-travelling holiday experiences. Oh, yeah.

We're using haptic suits. So this will be VR, right? You're not actually going anywhere in time. Holidaymakers could visit some of the world's most historical locations in the past. Yeah, she. We're going in the past. Yeah, she. Yeah, she. I'm going to make you a star, she. And then you could go back to like the 1700s

and get like an incurable disease. All the good stuff. But it's not the same. It's not actually the past. It's based on what we think we know of the past. Because we'd have to construct it in the future. Yes.

I want to actually go back. Where would you go? You've got, I've given you a ticket for your birthday. I could go anywhere. Anywhere in the past. Back in the past. I don't reckon I was made for any other time, to be totally honest with you. You reckon?

Yeah. Like, sometimes I think, oh, maybe I was born 20 any other time, to be totally honest with you. You reckon? Yeah. Like, sometimes I think, oh, maybe I was born 20 years too late. Yeah. But then at the same time, nah, probably not. I think I'm set in my time. Like, even if I was born now, I don't think I'm really... I'm not set for the next 80 years or whatever. Going back in time, you wouldn't have your Google Maps.

You'd have to use an actual map. No thanks. But if it could just be an experience, it would be Westworld. Yeah, it would be, yeah. Go back and do the cowboy thing. That'd be pretty cool. Speaking of holidays, the rumours that the new White Lotus season will be in Thailand.

Yes. My favourite place in the world. And my favourite show, to be honest. Great show, great show. Oh, God, that'd be so fun. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. A man is taken to Reddit, the forum, am I an asshole? Am I the asshole?

And people ask, am I the bad guy here? Yeah. Am I the bad person? Give me a readout. Well, this man was on a flight and he ate a burger. He was eating a burger and he refused to eat. On a flight? Stop eating the burger.

I'm imagining he was, you know, he got it in the terminal. Oh, okay. Quickly boarded and he's like, well, I better eat this burger. He refused to stop eating the burger next to a complaining vegetarian. Oh. So he's like, am I the bad person? I don't think vegetarians have autonomy over

other people's space. He's in his chair. He can do what he wants in that chair. He explained he had an eight hour flight with a short connection. He had only enough time to run from one end of the airport to the other. He grabbed a burger and yeah, got on the plane, put the tray table down. He doesn't say.

Filet-O-Fish? He said, when I was allowed to put the tray table down, I did. And I started to eat. This is when the lady sitting next to me told me she doesn't eat meat or fried foods. Oh, fried foods. Get out. And the smell of my burger and fries are making her sick. At first I ignored her and kept eating,

but she complained louder. I finally told her I bought the food after checking with the gate agent and I'm hungry, so she's out of luck. She called the flight attendant and was told that I'm well within my rights to eat food that was bought in the airport. I don't think you're an asshole.

I mean, sure, if you're like, oh God, that's an unpleasant smell, whatever. But just get over it. Being on a plane isn't like always a pleasant experience, you know? You don't get to choose who you sit next to. Yeah, well at the producer's desk. At the vegetarian

desk. You the vegetarian desk. You're saying she's not a real vegetarian. Yeah, because all Veggos eat fries. It's the only thing that's always available on a menu. Have you had fries cooked in animal fat? Have you had duck fat potatoes? I think we've all eaten duck fat potatoes. Have you had duck fat potatoes? No, no, no.

Would you eat a duck fat potato? Nah. You don't even eat the fat, the lard. I don't think I liked duck when I wasn't Veggo anyway. No, it's no. Would you eat a duck fat potato? Nah. You don't even eat the fat, the lard. I don't think I liked duck when I wasn't Veggo anyways. No, it's not the duck. Doesn't it taste like duck? No, it tastes like beautiful crispy. Yeah, I'll hold that.

What about, yeah, like fries cooked in pig fat? That sounds awful. It's very greasy. I cooked, I made little bunless burgers last night, and I cooked the patties, right? Real good. Charred them up. And then in the fat they'd released, I fried some eggs. Yes.

I was like, do you want a dirty egg? What did you use for buns? Lettuce. No buns. Just like patty and egg on the plate with salad. And then you just eat that with knife and fork. Salad, knife and fork. Oh, yeah.

Good stuff. Not really a burger then, is it? Nah. Well, it's a patty. You basically had mince. Patty salad. You basically had min knife and fork. Salad, knife and fork. Oh, yeah, good start. Not really a burger then, is it? Nah. Well, it's a patty. You basically had mince. A patty salad. You basically had mince and salad. You had a formed mince.

You had a formed mince. You had a cake of mince. With egg on top. A cake of mince and some egg and salad. Greasy egg and a salad. Delicious. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley from the bustling ZM think tank.

This is the Top 6 ZM think tank. This is the top six. Pigeons. Hate them. Oh, rats with wings. Mankey. What are they? Yeah, you're doing the throb.

Listen to a phenomenal podcast about urban pigeons once. Did you? Was it phenomenal? It was phenomenal. They tried to introduce pigeons to urban settings for ages, and it just never stuck. Oh. Just never worked.

And then because they thought of it as like a food source and stuff. Right. You could just pop off a pigeon and um-num-num. Yeah, right. obviously times have changed but it just didn't stick and then one day it just stuck and now you only really see them in places with human settlers

well if there's a plus in that at least when the nuclear winter happens or the apocalypse the zombie apocalypse we'll have some pigeon food we'll have some protein unless they are the carriers of the zombie virus. Yeah, big red eyes.

Or something in their DNA when the nuclear thing happens turns them into big-ass birds. I mean, more to eat but harder to take down. Yeah, true. Have you guys eaten pigeon before? I don't believe so. Neither. Is it a delicacy anywhere? I don't believe so. No, neither. Is it a delicacy anywhere? I would.

I wouldn't say no to it. You wouldn't? It used to just be a wild hunting bird. Oh. And let's not forget our kereru is of the pigeon variety. Yeah, but that one's a pretty one. That's a pretty one. Big, fat, pretty one.

Big, fat, chocolate. Delicious. Oh, yeah, it is. I've had a honey soy kereru. Oh, beautiful. Beautiful. Yum. Honey soy, yeah. It is. I've had a honey soy keriru. Oh, beautiful. Beautiful. Yum.

Honey soy, sticky rice. Yep. Kawakawa and kumara. Yeah. Keriru. Just to keep it local. Like a patty. Yeah, that's good.

Yeah, I support local, you see. You went straight to honey soy, more of an Asian fusion. No, it's a Josh Emmett. It's in his cookbook. Is it a Josh Emmett? It's in his cookbook, yeah. I like when he takes risks. I like when he takes risks. I like when he takes risks. I like when he cooks endangered birds.

Yes, it's risky. Well, in 2022, the pigeon poo predicament was a problem for Onehunga in Auckland. Yeah. But this, now, Ash Burden has a pigeon poo problem. Goodness, man. And there's no plans to control Ash Burden's apparently already reduced pigeon population. Oh.

Listen to my favourite part of the story. The Feral Pigeon Working Group was a group including several organisations that are impacted by pigeons in the wider Christchurch area and are planning to control pigeons using feeders strategically placed in key positions. The Feral Pigeon Working Group. I thought there was a group. F-E-W-G.

Yeah. I thought there was a group of people, a group of pigeons who had formed a union of feral pigeons. Well, that's the way you've got to unionise if you want any sort of power, the collective spokesperson. Wait, so these strategic feeders, do they trap them and then? No. An Environmental Canterbury spokesperson said,

the understanding was the feeders contained corn laced with a medicinal intestinal drug, which once eaten acts as a contraception. Pigeon eugenics. Oh my God, they're on the pill. Don't tell Kerry Woodham, she'll agree. Right. Pigeon eugenics. Yeah.

Breed them out, is what they're saying. Wow. A contraception. So they won eugenics. Yeah. Breed them out is what they're saying. Wow. A contraceptive. So they won't get pre-go. Yeah, so there won't be any more pigeons. Lifespan of a pigeon. Unless you feed them grapefruit. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, of a pigeon. That would cause havoc. A rock dove. Now, why don't we call them that? Because they're not cute. They don't deserve it. They're pigeons Rock dove Six years

Oh really? Yeah Why don't we do this with like mice and rats? I think we tried Oh yeah We do with cats That's why they're always like What?

Spading Oh yeah we do Yeah When did I see an animal With its Oh at the pub At the pub on Saturday That that dog with the massive balls. But they were massive.

He saw a dog with massive balls. They were tight. They were real up and tight. They looked like plums, not like sultanas. Yeah, it was so funny. It didn't have a pruney wrinkle to it. It was a tight plum. A tight, smooth plums.

Two tight plums. I'm glad I was invited to this drinking session. It was a hell of a situation. It was fun. We listened to a band. We looked at some dog's balls. It was great. What a time.

Top six things to do with all these Ashburton pigeons. Number six on the list. I have, and it's not Josh Emmett's ketidu, the honey soy ketidu recipe, but I have the most amazing pigeon pie recipe. Oh. Classic. Very healthy. He'd have a good pigeon pie recipe, though.

This is Louise Robinson's pigeon pie. Fantastically luxurious, yet comforting dish. Making the most of this gorgeous game bird in all its glory. Louise uses the carcasses to make a rich pigeon stock for the filling. Oh, get out. While the breasts are quickly seared before cooking briefly in the pie

under a canopy of buttery, crumbly pastry. Oh, feral. Crumbly pastry. Delicious crumbly pastry. It says you need 10 wood pigeons. Wait a minute. Wood pigeons? These are kiddo.

No, 10. 10 wood pigeons? I reckon you'd need about 30 pigeons to get. You'd need a good stockpot to make that stock. Okay, so a British wood pigeon. I can see why they named the Ketadu the wood pigeon when they got here. It does look a little bit alike, but you would need more. Okay, right.

You'd need more. But I reckon you could just switch out a classic ingredient. I don't like changing up the quantities in a recipe. Something about Josh has worked very hard to get the quantities right. Do you know there's 21,000 ketadu left? That's not enough. Well, no, we know that.

Yeah, it's because they're so yum. But they are. That's what a wood pigeon is. No, but we get a British one. There's heaps of them that are a game bird. All right.

Number five on the list of the top six use for all these ash bird and pigeons, pigeon racing. If it's good enough for my twyfin, if it's good enough for you. Number four on the list of the top six things to do with Ashburton pigeons, herd of duck or goose feather duvets or those Canadian duck geese jackets.

Yeah. How about pigeon duvets? Yeah, pigeon puffing. Pigeon puffers. Yeah, pigeon puffer. That would work. From half a pigeon puffer. Of the hundred pigeon puffer. Or the new. Yeah, pigeon puffer. That would work. From Huffer. Huffer pigeon puffer. The Huffer pigeon puffer.

Or the new Catman Do pigeon puffer. Yeah. Yes. And the Huffer store is close to the Josh Emmett restaurant. Pluck the pigeons. Take him to pigeons. Get them. Yeah.

I don't know. This is a great idea. We're using the whole bird. I'm very passionate about using the whole bird. Oh, no. It's literally just stuffed with pigeons. Oh, actual live pigeons. It's just claws and beaks and all.

Everything. It could start to stink. It's going to do that. Number three on the list of the top six things to do with the Ashburton pigeons, send them to Methvin. Am I right, Ashburton? Bloody Methvin? Yeah.

Too good for too long. Is that where the taps are from? Yep. Good. Great taps. Great taps. Brown pup, blue taps are from? Yep. Good. Great taps. Great taps. Yeah. Brown pub, blue pub?

I've got no idea. That's how you tell the difference between pubs there, I think. Oh, okay. Number two on the list of the top six things to do with Ashburton pigeons. Clay pigeon shooting

just used to be called pigeon shooting. I was just going to say that. You did. And a much more exciting path as well. How do you put those in the slingshot? Yeah, poo. Yeah, great fun. And number one on the list of the top six things to do with the Ashburton pigeons,

get them jobs as couriers. Because pigeons used to deliver mail, don't you know? No one's doing mail anymore. So get the pigeons an Amorex run. It's a good idea. Yeah, I don't know if they could deliver my protein powder. Or neither could Amorex. Hey-o!

Hey! Hey, John! Hey-o! That's today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch Vodanale. Play ZM. Scientists, the guys who for the last few years have just been so busy doing fact-based research. But, you know, if you don't want to listen to them because Liz Gunn said not to,

that's your bro. Oh, yeah, free choice, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely free choice. Because, you know, they are the lizard people of the flat earth. They live on the other side of the button that we live on, which isn't floating through space. Giant simulation.

Yeah. Behind of, I don't know who's behind it, but I know that the same people putting in 5G towers and wanting to insert microchips with us because even though we're part of their absolutely controlled scientific experiment, they want another control. Of course. Aspect to it.

Well, it's because they're lizards. It's pretty straightforward. Lizards love control. Have you ever met a tuatara? I don't trust them. No, definitely not. Too controlling. Yeah, absolutely.

I go to the zoo and where the tuatara is, I line its cage with lead so it can't use its third eye to control me. Now, the scientists... Wow, we went down a hole there. We really did. The scientists have said that the next stage of vaccines

will eliminate the need for needles altogether and it will be like a puff of air through the skin. A powdered vaccine. Would that arguably hurt more? No, they reckon it's like being hit with a Nerf blaster. I just know that Nerf are very particular. They don't like a shot and they don't like saying bullets. No.

Oh, really? The gun is a blaster. The bullet is a dart. Yeah. Shooting is blaster. Have you ever been hit by a foam dart? It just bounces off you, right? Yeah.

It might be a bit of a... Yeah. Imagine if they were like, it hurts like a paintball. I'd be like, give me the needle. Yeah, I'd rather have the needles. Paintballs are horrible. I would rather... Because the COVID vaccine needle was quite skinny, quite tiny.

Tiny little thing. Hardly even felt it. Yeah, I didn't feel it. Aaron didn't even believe they'd done it. He drove away and he was like, I don't think it went in. He thought the lizard people had skipped him. Yeah, he was like, oh my God. He might have had a lizard nurse.

Yeah. No, because the lizard nurse would have wanted you to be injected. He might have had a good old-fashioned human nurse. Yeah, he might have. But this is good because that actually did put a lot of people off the vaccines. Not the fact that, you know, it was a new vaccine. It was just the fact that I don't like needles. A lot of people hate needles, have a phobia.

Hate them. They also said it'll help with administering other sorts of medicines that have typically been intravenously delivered. Cancer patients have a port put in them. Yes. That's for a lot more intense medication, but if you're constantly taking blood and constantly needle hair, needle hair. Get all bruised up.

You're like a pin cushion, you know? Yeah. So they just come up to you with some kind of gun device. Yeah. Insert a shot of air into you with your powder. And then the best part is we won't even have to ask people's permission to vaccinate. Oh, my God, yeah. You could just be like, hey, nice to meet you.

Should we go get a coffee? Yeah. They could have just had snipers at those protests. Yeah. Just, oh, I've been hurt with a Nerf dart? Should we go get a coffee? Yeah They could have just had snipers at those protests Yeah Just, oh, I've been hurt with a Nerf dart? Yeah, sure, mate How interesting Gotcha

How interesting Anyway I'm sure we've adequately racked up a few people Yeah About to call us, I don't know, what do they call us? No, we haven't, they've changed the channel Oh, they've gone No, they don't because they famously Love to be outraged

So right now They'll be seething Seething That we dare Take this so light heartedly 14 to 7 Any complaints Vaughn at

Zmonline.com That's spelt V-A-Q-W-P-H 4-4-7-2 The Q always trips me up Yeah it's a silent It's a silent Q It's a silent Q man

I always forget Play it ZM's Flet cue, man. I always forget. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole. Silly little pole.

Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly Little Pole. Silly Little Pole. Silly Little Pole today. Is it okay to stand at a concert in the speech marks seated area? Speech marks. So you pay for seats, seated tickets, and then a song comes on that you love, and you stand, or the concert starts, and then you stand up.

Everyone's dancing. And then the people behind you can't see, so then they have to begrudgingly stand up. Yeah. And then at the end of the concert, everyone is standing up. Yeah. And there was no use for seats in the first place. Yeah. I just feel like, what are you doing at a concert?

I mean, obviously, if you can't stand up, you're in an accessible area. Absolutely. Or if you're old or something, you go to the front. I feel like there are certain concerts where you'd expect to sit for the whole show, right? But then there are other concerts where, of course, you want to dance. Yeah. I always dance.

Adele was one with a lot of seating. That was all seats. A lot of seats. And then when the bangers came on, you'd stand. Yep. And then you'd sit again came on, you'd stand. Yep. And then you'd sit again. Some people don't like it. Some people don't like sitting.

Well, that was our silly little poll today. 54% of people said yes, it is okay to stand at the concert in the seated area. 46% said no, it is not. Okay. So you are going to, no doubt about it, you're going to piss people off. Yeah, and I'm tall. Yeah. Kayla writes, laziness is the way to go, guys.

Come on. Sit down. Only people standing directly in front of you are already standing, says Christine. So then that's on the front row really, isn't it? Because the front row stands and then dominoes to the back. Everybody has to stand. But if you're in the middle and you just stand up, you're the first to stand. If everybody sits, everybody can see.

Correct. Yeah. And shuffle. But I know, but how do you rock in your seat? Yeah. You have a little rock. You were just saying you and your mum at the Eagles. That's why you mentioned the Eagles.

You got told off. We stood up to have a little boogie. Yeah. What song got you boogieing? I actually can't remember. This was a number of years ago. And we got told off big time. And then we tried to stand again.

And even a security guard told us to sit down. And then the people rebelled. Oh, really? And everybody stood up. All the boomers got up off their feet. The boomers got up and they danced. Well, she was at a concert last night at the social media desk. Shannon.

Shannon let pajamas. You went to Pentatonix last night. I know, random. Get a bit of this. I was one of the few people without a gold card. Yeah. What did the old people like Pentatonix? Yes, yeah, no, there was a lot.

I think it'd be the Christian energy, but I didn't know the old people were into Pentatonix. Yeah, they do all that Christmas music. Yeah, and they love the Christmas. Oh, that'll be it. Did they do a lot of Christmas songs? They did no Christmas songs, but they did do Hallelujah. Okay.

Did you stand up? So they had seated only, and there was signs saying do not stand. But then the band would kind of be like, all right, this one's a standing song. And they would ask everyone to stand up for three minutes, and then everyone would be asked to sit down again. Oh, for God's sake, so polite. And they kept asking the crowd to clap, but they wouldn't dictate the tune

and then everyone just was clapping out a tune. Terrible, terrible, terrible. And this was at a Ryman rest time you went to this, was it? Essentially, yeah. Yeah, Ryman Spark. Yeah, great. Spark Arena. Have you taken your pills this morning, love?

Yes, yeah. Good. Now Have you taken your pills this morning, love? Yes, yeah. You remember them? Good. Now, remember you've got bridge later. I've got my crochet. Yeah, well, don't forget that. Don't forget to charge your mobility scooter, too, because you got stuck at bridge last week.

Oh, gosh. It ran right out. It ran right out. Some feedback. Quickly. Hamish says, yes, I don't know if it's a banger of a song and everyone else Is dancing and standing If everyone else

Is sitting down You look like An inconsiderate idiot Yeah mass hysteria It drives me mad That no one in Australia Stands in their seats For a concert

In the UK No one ever sat down And the atmosphere Was always so much better Someone says Sarah I paid to see Ed Not the back of your

F'ing head Oh yes If you paid to see Ed Bang bang bang Bang bang bang Yeah Could bang, bang, bang, bang, bang it. Yeah. Could have danced to the whole thing. Sarah said, if you want to stand, go stand in the general admission area. People who want to sit deserve to still see, says sitting Sarah.

Only soulless robots say seated at a concert, said Renee. Oh, okay. It's okay to stand if you aren't blocking a view. Dance in the aisles. No, they don't like you doing that, Bridget. No, they'll tell you off. Because of the fire exits.

It's a safety hazard, isn't it? Had a stander in front of us at the Ed Sheeran in Wellington. So annoying, couldn't see a thing. Told my daughter to sit down when they were trying to stand. Rude.

Oh, yeah. Wow. I'm paying money to get up and have a boogie woogie to my favourite boogie woogie. Boogie woogie. We love it. We've got a boogie woogie. This person probably went to the Pentatonix last night, too. I'm paying money to get up and have a boogie woogie to my favourite... Boogie woogie. Boogie woogie. We love it. We've got a boogie woogie.

This person probably went to the Pentatonix last night too. I'm paying money to get up and have a boogie woogie to my favourite artist. Not sit and bop along. I won't sit and bop. Sit and bop. Sit and bop. Isn't that in their game? Bop it, twist it, sit it, shut up, sit down, go home?

Yeah, it is. Well, there we go. A divisive syllable to pull today. Very much so. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Well, there we go. A divisive syllable to pull today. Very much so. We want to talk about when your parents were too busy for you. They should, of course, at any moment, drop everything. Absolutely, they should.

To rush to you. They brought you into this world, and according to them earlier in your life, they can take you out of it. Yeah. Wow. Remember that threat? No. I brought you. Did you ever get that? I brought you into this world, and they can take you out of it. Yeah. Wow. Remember that threat? No.

Did you ever get that? I bore you into this world and I can take you out of it. No. That is like saying, my mum was threatened to kill me. God, that's ruthless. Wow. Your mum's never said that. No.

I bore you into this world, I can take you out of it. No. Come on. It wasn't my mum alone. Everybody's mum said that. Sounds like something a gangster would say in a gangster movie. She did say it like this. Meh, she, I bought you into this. Where now take you out of it, she?

I'll give you a whack, you see. Yeah, she. I'm pretty sure the worst thing my mum ever said was, I said, I wish I'd never been born. Classic. Wish I'd never been born and she said same. She said same. Wow.

Well, one of the most famous dads in She said same. Wow. Well, one of the most famous dads in the whole world. Yeah. King Charles. I was about to call him Prince Charles. No, he's the king, man. And when's that whole thing happening? Soon, eh?

Coronation Street. Coronation Street. Oh, my God. It's like weekly, isn't it? It's like on every night. Yes. Is it? And he can't find, there's no, like, no British singers will say they'll do it. Like Adele and Ed can't find, there's no, like no British singers

will say they'll do it. Like Adele and Ed Sheeran, they're just like, nah, don't do it. Because it's Charles. Because it's Charles. It's the chubby fingers. It's the weird fingers.

Thank you very much for singing my coronation. Ah, someone just messaged in. My mother used to say the same thing, Vaughn. I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it. And they said, and I even say it to my children. It has intergenerational death threats.

Yeah, it is. Brilliant. That's that. So, Harry's pop time. Contentious. Prince Harry. Second child of King Charles, Prince Harry has popped home to the UK and apparently

the story is that he's not going to catch up with King Charles because he's a bit busy. He's a bit busy with other. Where's the king? He's running the monarch? Yeah. Key? Commonwealth? Look, I don't know what he does.

I don't know what he does. There's a lot of flitting about in parcels A lot of busyness He's sitting for a lot of portraits So he's like I can't see you I'm too busy Yeah I'm too busy to catch up Sorry Harry you're my son I'm too busy I'm too busy you've come home We've got a relationship that desperately needs to be mended

Haven't seen you for months But I'm too busy to catch up with you So the story goes And that got me to needs to be mended. Haven't seen you for months. Yeah. But I'm too busy to catch up with you. Wow. So the story goes. And that got me to thinking about when your parents were too busy for you.

You know, my mother gave me death threats, but she was there every time. Yeah. She was there all the time. I always find it wild

and you hear that every now and again when, and they probably don't have the strongest bond with their parents, but a parent will be like, I'm sorry, I can't make the wedding.

I've got a golf tournament and I can't miss that. It's a very big tournament. I'd be working all season towards that. Not a wedding. No, you do hear of the odd parent that just gives a lame excuse for not being at a wedding or some important event. Prize giving, like school prize giving,

are your kids going to get a big prize? It's just not, I can't be there. Maybe, maybe. I don't think my parents could have been, I mean, I went to school when only three people got prizes. Yeah, the good old days. Whereas now, everybody gets a prize. Oh, I know. And my parents would have had work. They would have just been like, oh, we'll just see your certificate when we get home.

Yeah. Aww. I don't want them there anyway. My parents always came, my parents were, yeah. Yeah. They were show parents, you know, they had every bloody piano competition and monologue and yeah, I'm not sure if my parents have ever been too busy for me.

If they were, if we were doing something, my parents would not only attend, they'd video it. Yeah. So you could watch it later. On a big handheld. And one of those ones you had to hold up to your eye. Can we see some of these videos? I don't know where the videos are. We only have one video of us as kids.

We didn't have a video camera. Poor. Yeah. We had one. I put the tape in it backwards and slammed it shut and broke it and then blamed my brother and he got a hiding. Putting the tape in backwards? Oh, my God.

How did it even let you? And it just would not come out. It was jammed in there, and I was like, well, maybe it'll work. Bam, slammed it shut, broke it. Oh, my God. And then Philip was, like, playing with it, and he couldn't get it going, and they thought he'd done it. Yes.

Brilliant. That's a win. I believe Mum said, I'll put you into this world, I can take you out of it. But we want to know what your parents missed because they were too busy or preempted something happening, saying it can't happen then,

like you said with the wedding. It can't happen in June. I'm busy. Yeah. Yeah, when I've talked about having our little runaway wedding in Italy, my parents have gone, oh my God, that'd be so lovely.

We do have guests between here and here. So this little window could work for the wedding. Fantastic. Don't do that. Okay, we want you to call us 0800 DALS at M right now. You can message as well, 9696. When were your parents too busy?

Kind of because we briefly touched, we're talking about when your parents were too busy for something, but we briefly touched We're talking about when your parents were too busy for something But we briefly touched on You know The amazing piece of home technology That was the video recording camera Yes Yeah

And so people are sending in weird stories About what their dads did with the video recording camera Which I think Do we want to know? Mum bought a video camera And decided to film Christmas while opening presents Dad thought it would be the hilarious to come in And moon the camera He opened up his cheeks I think. Do we want to know? Mum bought a video camera and decided to film Christmas while opening presents. Dad thought it would be the hilarious to come in and moon the camera.

He opened up his cheeks and mum didn't know how to delete that part of it, but wanted to keep the rest. Opened his cheeks, Dad. A proper Dad brown eye. Wow. We're not talking about that. Okay. No.

We want to know when your parents were too busy for you because Prince Harry's gone back to England and King Charles has said, I've got no time to catch up I'm a bit busy. A bit busy being the king. Tad busy! Jackie, when were your parents too busy for you? Well,

when we actually said we were going to get married, mum turned around and actually said, well, you've got to get married actually on a Friday because we have Speedway on Saturday night, otherwise we can't come. Speedway! So, wait, do they race or do they spectate? Yes.

No. They race. But they couldn't take off... I'm an only child. Yeah, they couldn't... You're an only child. They couldn't take off a day to go to your wedding? No, so we had to get married on a Friday.

You know, Friday afternoon going into Auckland. Oh, my God, no. To get married. Jackie, tell me, what does Speedway season, when does it run from? Like, what months? Oh, God, I really should know this. Actually, they're going to Speedway this Saturday,

so I think it's like from Easter through to, I think it finishes at Easter. So from about October through. So it's kind of like a summer Speedway. But there's plenty of Speedway for them to take part in. They could miss a season. Obviously, they've got the competition going throughout the season. They obviously don't love her that much.

That's the only sort of thing I can figure out, Jackie. When you couldn't remember when Speedway season was, I was about to say, think of the months where you felt the most neglected. Oh, yeah. Well, just during Speedway season, I didn't exist. Jackie, that makes sense. Jackie, you do exist. We see you.

We do, Jackie. Thank you for your call. Danielle. I knew Bloody Bourbon existed during the Speedway season. Danielle, when were your parents too busy for you? Not me and my partner, but when he was seven years old, he split his bags open.

His what? Supermarket bags? His ball bags. Oh! Oh, jeez! Wait, the seven-year-old split the ball bags open? Yes. Oh, ouch.

And he had to... So they were living far north. He had to catch like a two hour bus ride from Kaitaia to Wangare to go to his hospital appointment. And he had to do it by himself. With a severed scrotum.

Was it, and Dad was too busy? Was Dad working? Uh, no. Just busy. Too busy. Just busy. Too busy. Things to do. People to see. Wow, that's sad.

I thought you were going to say he had to bus to A&E to get his ball bags sorted out. Stitched up. Amazing. Danielle, thanks for your call. Jodie, when was Dad too busy? I went to go pick up my wedding dress and he went fishing. Oh, you were like, come and join me on this moment.

It's going to be really important. Yeah, I was like, come and see it. And he was like, I haven't been out in about an hour. It was like perfect weather. Glassy conditions. Glassy. We do love a glass. We do love glassy water.

I mean, like, I understand. Don't get me wrong. I love fishing as well. But, yeah, it was a bit of a different thing. But it's just that the Bill Hohepper fishing calendar's got a big fish on it today. Yeah, exactly. It's only certain times. But he did come to the wedding.

Was it good fishing weather on the wedding day? It was glassy that day too. The wedding hasn't happened yet, so hopefully not. Okay, yeah. Better hope it's not a good day for fishing. Otherwise you might not see him. Jodie, thank you. Some messages in.

My wedding was meant to be in May this year, but my parents are going on a cruise in Alaska. So they said, well, you can't have your wedding there. You better push it out to December. I forgot it was their wedding. An Alaskan cruise though. Beautiful.

One's a lifetime opportunity. Well, especially the way the ice is going. Most people have at least two marriages. Yeah. You just get the second one. But there's only one Alaska. Come to the second one. Yeah.

My whole childhood they were too busy. If you want to put on a little performance we'll dress up as your mum and dad and come along. And watch it.

We can watch it. We do some bedtime stories. We do the voices and everything. Maybe you guys go I'm a bit busy We could do a little bit of This is the way the lady rides

Tritron You could sit on our knee Or jump you up and down I don't know how old they are What is it? You've gone too far back Right I thought we'd just go and watch

Their school play That sounds problematic Right Teach you how to drive manual Oh yeah we could do that Yeah we could do that We could do that Yeah

I wish my dad Teach you how to drive manual? Oh, yeah, we could do that. Yeah, we could do that. We could do that. Yeah. I wish my dad missed my prize giving. He used to show up in Superman underwear over his pants with a cape on to discourage me from being an overachiever. Dad. I like that, Dad. What? Like, stop doing so well? Stop winning things?

That's real tall poppy in your own kids. Yeah. What, you think you're shit hot? I graduated after working full time through COVID, studying part time and living all alone all through the lockdown. And when I asked mum if she'd come to my graduation, she said, I've been to too many events over your lifetime and I can't keep doing it.

What? Oh, hey, we're proud of you. But there's got to come a time that you do tap out of the parenting thing, right? Or is it forever? I think a graduation is definitely not one of them. That's one of the ones that... That's one of the ones you go to. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, tap out of a couple of school camps and a couple of lame assemblies. Yeah, yeah. I'd love to go to school camp, but I've got the show, you know? Yeah, and it's going to go late. Yeah. It's just like when I've got – in the morning I wouldn't be there for breakfast and that's the hardest part of it. Exactly.

Yeah, I would have hated to let the school down by not being – yeah. Yeah. I text my concerns to my parents That I needed help To evacuate an area Because I was told The cyclone was going to hit us And they said We're far too busy to be dealing with any silly cyclone

And then my house got flooded Oh no I'm 12 Hello 12 year old My mum doesn't have time for me in the morning when driving And then my house got flooded. Oh, no. I'm 12. Hello, 12-year-old. My mum doesn't have time for me in the morning when driving. She's always shushing me when I want to tell her a story because she's listening to you guys. Sorry.

Sorry. Sorry. Well, she'll have time during the songs. You get ready to tell her your story now. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. The Chilli start to the morning. Coldest place, minus 0.5, Tiano.

Wow. At the moment, Queenstown's on zero. Most places kind of south of Auckland and Tauranga are single digits right now. Six in Hamilton at the moment. Jeepers creepers. She's chilly. She is chilly. You're still wearing shorts and you're still wearing sandals. Correct.

And I'm still in a light frock. I went shoes this morning for the first time this year. I hate them. They take so long to put on. Oh, my God. That's what stopped me doing it this morning. I was like, socks? I haven't got time for you today.

And laces. This is actually a study conducted by Lindt. Oh, the God, that's what stopped me doing it this morning. I was like, socks? I haven't got time for you today. And the laces. This is actually a study conducted by Lindt. Oh, the chocolate balls. I love those chocolate balls. I like their bunnies. Yeah, good bunnies. I've never had a bunny. Easter bunnies.

Easter bunnies. Have you never had a Lindt? No. We'll get him one. He can afford it himself. No, we should do a little Easter hunt. There's children out there that don't get Easter eggs. I'm not buying Uncle Moneybags.

Oh, my God. Yeah, Uncle Moneybags. Scrooge McDuckhead. Just because I don't have kids, it doesn't mean you can't buy me an Easter egg. I'll buy you an Easter egg. I'll buy you an Easter egg. Thank you.

So they conducted this study, massive study, actually, and they got people to submit what makes them instantly happy. Now, I'm sure they were hoping like, like biting into a beautiful Lindt chocolate. Well, that does make me very happy. It makes us very happy. And then I was reading this list and I was like, this is such a sweet little list of things that just instantly make you go,

oh, that's nice. Is there much food on there or is it more? There's plenty, but there much food on there? Or is it more? There's plenty. But there's like lots of experiences. So like number 50, for example, rounding out the 50, finishing a book. Oh, yeah, that's a good feeling. Shut it. Oh, that makes you feel happy.

What if it was one of those books where you're like, man, I wish that wasn't done. Yes. My favourite book of all time, World Without End, Ken Fuller. When I closed it, I missed them like they were friends. You know, like I missed the characters and I was like... Oh, and they're not real. No, but I get that. That's the sign of a good book or a good TV show.

Yeah. Let's move up a little bit. Number 39 on the list, A Glass of Wine. I'm smiling. Yeah. I'm utterly smiling. I don't know what's causing that buzzing. What are you fiddling with?

I haven't fiddled with anything. That's buzzy. Yeah, stop. That's a chord. You've got a dicky chord there, haven't you? Apologies for the sound quality there, Alyssa. Well, if that's annoyed you and you need a little boost to make you happier. Give it a pull again.

Oh my god. Why do you always fidget with everything? It's not me, give it a pull again. Oh my god. Why do you always fidget with everything? It's not me, it's a dicky cord. Yes, because you fidget with everything. He's unplugged it. Oh, it's Hayley. Is it? Yeah, stop. Okay, it's gone.

Is on the list fixing a dicky cord? Oh, because that feels good. Because it's you. I liked it was me. Give her ass I was like, you just gave me. No, I'm a woman in the workplace. You simply can't. You fidget less than Vaughn.

You're still a fidgeter. I am a fidgeter. You don't fidget. That's why it's highlighted that we fidget. Because he's got a microphone on an arm and ours are on these dumb weighted bullshit things. Dumb weighted bullshit things? They don't even slide.

Listen to it slide across the desk. It doesn't even silently slide. Yeah, but you do what I do and you put your microphone bag underneath.

No, I did that the other day. Listen to this. Oh. No, I did that the other day. What did you hear? You heard absolutely nothing.

I did that the other day and it gripped. Yeah, and it gripped. Mine's fabric, yours is pleather. It gripped and the whole microphone tipped over. Yeah. Anyway. I would love to, I'd just like to apologise to the listeners for the audio quality there.

It's terrible. Yeah, we try to keep a high standard. You should expect better. Do you want some more things that make you happy? Oh, I need them now. I'm grumpy. Number 27. Are you grumpy?

I'm going to fix you. Think of these things. Number 27. Are you grumpy? I'm going to fix you. Think of these things. Number 27, a cute puppy. Ah. Yeah. As long as it's just somebody else's that I'm playing with. Yeah, I knew you'd be thinking. Bloody Sade's come home and she's like,

I've got another dog. Puppies are hard work. Yeah, they are. Number 22, looking at a picture of your family. Yep. Cute. He's hot. Number 18, hearing someone say I love you. Aww. Don't say it.

Don't! Don't say it. You could see on her face she wasn't going to say it the minute that she said it. I was going to say it in a way that would make you so upset as well. I love you. I love you. Let's just, number 12, speaking to family. Let's do the top 10. Number 10, stroking

a pet. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're getting that belly. It does make you feel, it makes you feel happy instantly. Makes you feel so happy. Hair's going to go everywhere. Oh my god, you're a grump. Number 9, sleeping in freshly washed sheets. Oh, yes. We can all agree. Yes. We can all agree. 100%. We got new sheets on last night.

Number eight, longer and lighter evenings. But when there's new sheets on. Oh, here we go. What are you going to find wrong with this? You know there's going to be no hanky-panky. Why not? Because they're fresh sheets. It's a mess.

I just. That's a mess of it all. There's going to be no hanky-panky in these three sheets. I just changed the sheets. Move on. Moving on. Moving on.

I'm going to be able to find a bad thing about every one of these things that makes people happy and I'm sorry because I've ruined it for everybody else. Number eight, longer and lighter evenings. So daylight savings. When it's just like,

it's like 8.30 in the morning. You have to get up at 4 o'clock in the morning and at 9 o'clock it's still light, you feel like you're wasting your time, you don't end up in bed till after 10. Number seven, a lovely view. By the way, daylight savings this weekend. Both of you, don't bring down my happy list. Number seven, a lovely view.

Yeah. Maybe looking over the ocean. Some mountains. Sunset, some mountains. Some beautiful native forests with some kiddie do. Yeah, but what about... Stunning dumper walking away. But what about... You got me there.

Beautiful view. But what about Cody Dieback? Oh, for God's sake. I can't help but look at the native forests and be worried about what... You know, what would it have looked like before? Yeah. Okay, well, don't look at the Cody forests.

Go look at the ocean. Okay, it's full of microplastics. Which is eating Yeah. It was rude. Okay, well, don't look at the Cody Forest. Let's go look at the ocean. Okay. It's full of microplastics. Eating us. God damn it. Number six, the beach on a sunny day. Yeah. Sunscreen.

Have I got enough on? Am I going to get burned? How long am I going to be out here? Here's what he won't be able to do. Number five, spending time with friends and family. How long are we going to be here? Oh, my God. Of course he would.

Of course he would. Number four, sunny bright mornings. Waking up and opening the curtains. Not on a work day obviously because ours is pitch black but it's a sunny bright morning.

Stunning. Number three, you're going to love this. I like that. This is a list of the ultimate happy things. The things that just make you instantly happy.

The top three. A hug at number three. No. Yeah, I'm hugging myself because no one here hugs me. Number two, a walk on a sunny morning. Love that. Yeah, that's good. Beautiful, beautiful.

And number one, and we all have lots to say about this, a good night's sleep. Oh, yeah, that'd be lovely. When you wake up and you've had, like, so much sleep, it was undisturbed. And not a boozy sleep. No. Just like, I went to bed, I took myself to bed, and I woke up.

It is so good. Those are the things that can make you happy. All right. Next on the show, we are going to compile a huge list of the best hot cross. Sorry, I just saw number 34, eating cake. Yeah. Yes, because there wasn't a lot of food on that list. There actually isn't. huge list of the best hot cross... Sorry, I just saw number 34, eating cake. Yeah! Yes, because there wasn't a lot of food on that list.

There actually isn't. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. More financial pain on the way. The reserve bank is rising. The stock market inflation has pushed the reserve. Cost of living. Cost of living crisis. And the recession is inevitable.

The official Fletch Vaughan and Hayley Hot Cross Bun Index. The recession is inevitable or it's here. It's happening. Well, either way, we're eating hot cross buns. Nothing will stop me having a bun or five. Now, like we did over summer with the Ice Cream Index, we are making a map. And on this map will be every location

with every great hot cross bun in this great country of ours. We need to do that. I just thought of another one. Don't worry. We're going to do another index later in the year I think because I just thought of one.

I just thought of one. Nice. Now only the North Island today. Tomorrow the South Island and then we'll get people to put a will we use a little cross or will we have a little icon of a hot cross bun on the map?

It'll be a small Jesus. Yeah. A small crucifix. A small Jesus. A small Jesus on the cross. On the cross. Okay, well, we'll need time for the design. We'll talk to the graphics people.

Yeah, the graphics people will get that whipped up over the weekend. And then next week we'll release it so you've got all the hot cross buns in time for Easter. Now I'm going to run through the table that Shannon at the social media desk's put together and she's obviously done this before. It's not her first time in Excel or tabling, is it? She knows her way around the table. She's done that. She's done it right there. I'll say the bakery name,

and its location, and who suggested it. Okay. She hasn't, however, put this table in North to South order, which I'm a little bit disappointed about. Because we're starting in the wider upper. Oh. And Carterton, the Clairville Bakery, has recommendations from...

You are nodding very heavily. Oh, you know. I'm a one and upper girl. This is a very, very, very good bakery. Kate, Gianna, Courtney, Josh and Joanna all said the Clairville Bakery and Carterton. Yes, okay. Amy said Kind Cafe and Morningside in Auckland.

Oh, beautiful. Volare in Hamilton is recommended. They do good bread. They do good bread. Do they do cinny buns? Do they do a good cinny bun? They do a scroll. Yeah.

Collectively, we love a scroll. Yeah, I saw the Instagram. I believe one of the owners owes me a ride to Auckland. Why? Because I gave him a ride to Auckland to a real big fish concert in 2001. Real big fish. Vaughn. Ba-ba-ba-ba.

Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Ba-ba-ba-ba. Ba-ba-ba-ba. Ba-ba-ba-ba. Wow. Let it go, Vaughn. So the recommendations come in from Deborah, Tessa, Amy, Kate, Shazza, Tash, Annalise, Ashley, Rachel.

I've just remembered we hit a cat on that ride. No, Vaughan. Vaughan, you know Hayley and I are cat lovers. It was in the middle of nowhere. I believe it may have been a feral cat. It may have been a possum. I may have known our native population and absolute. It was a possum.

Favour. It was a possum. You tell yourself whatever you need to tell yourself. I'm telling myself it was a possum. The Grumpy Baker in Hamilton comes recommended by Jared. Is he actually grumpy? I don't know. I like the villain of it.

Baker's Delight Nationwide is getting the thumbs up from Kate, CC and Michaela. Sproul's not on board with that decision. She shook her head. I think we're putting together quite a bougie list. I would have thought they would have just been quite a simple. They're a chain situation. Masters of Gingerbread in Palmerston North. Oh.

Masters. They've got a Masters of Gingerbread. Wow. Okay. I thought as I opened down the road, I would call myself the PhD of Gingerbread. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dr. Gingerbread.

Dr. Gingerbread himself. Dr. Gingerbread. The Dough Bakery in Wellington. Heard of that one. Scott recommends that. I haven't. T-Row in the Waikato. Now, a great place to stop if you're on your way down.

Beautiful. What did you do that for? The two. The Karagodan dog. Isn't that shut down now? The Karagodan dog? Don't look at it. It's been put down.

There's free water from the same spring that ends up going into the bottle of the H2Go's. Oh, lovely. Lovely. There's free water on the main street there. I'm a big fan of that area. The Baker. Jazz, Rebecca and Kate recommend that. Daily Bread in Auckland.

Now, this was the one everybody recommended. There's a news article about it. They got the best, didn't they, this year? Yes. In this competition. Amy, Jazz, Kelly, Soph, Lizzie, Jamie, Hannah and Liv recommended those on our socials. Well supported.

Ema Cuisine, another Auckland one. Now, this is where we're getting them from, hey? Yeah, it's a bit of a tradition. We're Ema people. Yeah, just so they're all, Fletch picks them up. Because they've got custard, not flower stripes. Yeah, custard cross. Nat, Jess, Debbie, Dennis, Lauren and Rosie.

It's a cross I'd want to die on, custard. Crucify me on a custard cross. Carrying your custard cross up the hill. Yes. Blalalala. All theify me on a custard cross. Carrying your custard cross up the hill. Yes. All the custard all over my naked body. Oh. Apart from my loin.

He's got a custody loincloth. That's made of custard too. He's got a raisin up his loincloth. Wild wheat. Jen recommends wild wheat, which is apparently nationwide. I've not heard of them. Oh, yeah. There's one in Mount Albert, I believe. Yes. Wild wheat. Jen recommends wild wheat, which is apparently nationwide. I've not heard of them. Oh yeah, there's one in Mount Albert, I believe.

Wild wheat. Oh no, I just read that one. Patrick's Bakery. I'm still thinking about the raisin. I'm still thinking about the raisin and the loincloth. Patrick's Bakery in Rotorua. Jordan recommends that. The 10 o'clock cookie company in Marsden. Oh, so good. That sounds like it's

out of their purview. No, 10 o'clock cookie company is one of the best. Why is it called the 10 o'clock cookie company in Masterton. Oh, so good. That sounds like it's out of their purview. No, 10 o'clock cookie company is one of the best. Why is it called the 10 o'clock cookie company? I don't know. It's just this like big cafe in the middle of the main street in Masterton. Oh, right. Okay, but they do other things than cookies. Do they open at 10 o'clock? Because I like to brunch earlier.

Well, that's breakfast, not brunch. You got me there. Fair call. You got me there. Sarah recommended them. Caitlin and so many people on the text machine recommend the Just Yes Bougie Bakery in Auckland. There's one in Hua Pai and there's one in Takapuna. Ashley wants to recommend that you can't go past the Countdown Caramilk ones.

Caramilk? Yeah, Countdown are doing a Caramilk. Goodness. Okay. I love a six-pack of supermarket hot cross bunnies. I'll be getting those. Are they using the Caramilk. Goodness. Okay. I mean, I love a six pack of supermarket hot cross bunnies. I'll be getting those. Are they using the caramilk baking chips?

Remember they made those baking chips? Did they? Yeah, they did. Do you want me to go through the text machine which has had

10,000 text messages? Yeah. Jesus. Vian's in Kihikihi. Got a cracker of a speedway and a ripper of a prison.

Where's Kihikihi? South of Te Amutu. Ah. Someone said, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me,

I live in the Bay of Pini and I've not heard a single recommendation for a Bougie. Give us one. Give us one. Yeah. Hold on,

let me check. There was a Tauranga in there. Wait, did they just complain but not give us a recommendation? they're after a recommendation. They might be new to the area. Oh,

I'd be fine. Baker's Crust in Whangarei, this little cakery in Hamilton. Surely Cream Eatery in Hamilton, they are the legends of treats. Legends of treats. If you're a gluten-free person, NADA Bakery in Wellington. Oh, that's cool. We can't forget about our gluten-free brothers and sisters. The Schonery in Hamilton.

The Schonery. That's really good. I just like that. Schonery. Sean Schonery. Sean sconery in Hamilton. The sconery. That's really good. I just like that. Sconery. Sean's sconery. Sean's sconery. That's the owner of the bakery. It's called Sean's sconery. Best hot crust buns

are from St. Helier's Home Cookery. Okay. That sounds a bit posh, doesn't it? That sounds posh, yeah. Upper Crust Bakery in Albany. However you want to say it. Oh, someone just tried to sneak into South Ireland. Save it.

No! That's tomorrow. That's naughty. That's really naughty. Save it. Those ones were red. That one were red. That one was red.

Still nothing from the walks. Bethlehem Bakery in Tauranga. Just so moist. Pretty much have one every day in the lead up to Easter. It's the moistness from Tim. And that's the home of Jesus. Big fan of moistness too. Bethlehem.

Well, that's why it makes sense. Isn't it? Yeah. Can we, there's one from Morrinsville in here. Oh, the Wagon Wheel. Wagon Wheel? The Wagon Wheel is just great for anything when you're a mom. Is it?

Yeah. Okay. Don't they have yellow pastry on the pies? They can if you want. Yeah. Always a good sign of a good bakery. They've got the white pie pastry pie, oven warmer and the yellow one next to it. Tomorrow, the South Island for our Hot Cross Bun Index.

And then next week, we'll give you the full list online ahead of the long Easter weekend. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. The boys are lair. The boys are lair. Nice that he's a lawyer, though, that you put in your time. You know, you do the years, you do the study, you do all the readings. Oh, they do so many years. No, boys are lair, not a lawyer.

My boys are lair. Yeah, Brad's bragging, but at the same time, good, you've got yourself a professional there who, you know, as long as they play the cards right at the start of the HR notebook, they could have a long and lustrous career. No, I heard lawyers are more likely to be replaced by AI. Ha ha. What?

Because AI will know the law. And it can scan all the readings super quick. So basically, if you're a lawyer in the future, you're just going to be like, who's going to snort all that cocaine now? No, AIs can do that as well. Can it? Yeah, they rack them up. Closer them down. Okay, AIs can do that as well. Can it? Yeah, they rack them up. Wow. I can't rack them up.

Close them down. Closer them down. Okay, wow. I'm impressed. AI, man. What can't it do? I know. We're all screwed.

Yeah. Khloe Kardashian. She, God, we have followed this for years, isn't it? The Tristan guy, Tristan Thompson, cheated on her. I know they've got like our kids together. Like why does she keep going back? Why does she keep going back? I know.

It's a complicated thing. I think it's because the world made her hate herself. We did that. Anyway, so she, you know, was with him. They had a baby. He cheated on her. They split up. They got back together.

They had a baby via surrogacy. The surrogate was still pregnant when it was announced that he was cheating on her. They split up. They got back together. They had a baby via surrogacy. The surrogate was still pregnant when it was announced that he was cheating on her and also got another person pregnant. It was like a mess. Now he's bought a $12.5 million house. They call it a compound. It's so big.

Like two houses down the street from her. Now I will say the houses are massive. They would have, yeah, but they won't see each other because they're literally compounds. They're literally compounds. This isn't an accident or, it's planned, right?

It's planned. They want to be close to each other. They want to be close to each other. For the kids. For the kids. They've got two kids together. That's cool. And yeah,

it's just like something that works for them. There are rumours that they're back dating together and blah, blah, blah dating together, but hopefully not. Just, you know. But that's two houses down. That's too close for an ex. Two houses down to live next to your ex. That's too close.

Like you'd literally like, to get to her house, there's a little bit of a map. You'd have to drive past his street. And like if you weren't in a compound, if you were in like a regular house in a suburb. Side by side. You couldn't do anything. Like imagine if you had someone over and your ex drove past.

You'd be like, who was at your house last night? Peeping through your windows. Yeah, who was the car in the driveway? Yes. Anyway, we thought maybe we could take some calls and get some messages in about how close you live to your ex. And maybe even, because I know a couple of people that still live with them. Because they own a house together?

Own a house together and own kids together. Yeah. And while they are not together, it works. One, we're in a bloody cost of living crisis at the moment. So sometimes selling a house or splitting a house. Not a good time to sell. Buying each other out, not a good time. Or just to afford rent.

It's better. So if you've got a spare bedroom, they move in one, you move in the other. Oh, who's getting a better bedroom though? Me. There's always a better bedroom. It's like when you're

in a flat and you have to do a draw. With the ensuite? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they pay like $10 more a week. Yeah, but it's a better room. Yeah.

Yeah. But maybe you have a situation like this. Is your ex your neighbour? You don't even have to share kids or have a reason. Maybe it was accidental.

I mean, if it's amicable, I guess you could still live with them if you own the house. Yeah, totally. But it's not going to help you move on, is it? No. Or it's going to be very hard to, like, date new people. Yeah. You haven't separated your lives. And then you will eventually be bringing other people into the boudoir.

But, yeah, having a neighbour as an ex, that would be weird. It would be weird. But would they be less likely to noise complaint? More likely. More likely, depending on the breaker. If it wasn't amicable. Or maybe you bought like a new build apartment or something and then they bought her off the plans and you didn't even know.

And then the apartments were built and you were like, hello. Yeah, it's better when someone accidentally moves into it next to an ex isn't it and they had no idea because you've moved on it could be years

and then all of a sudden hello you live next door to your ex or close and you're bumping into them at the supermarket

all the time I don't think I've ever lived close to an ex I don't really have that many exes yet exes. Yet. Sparked by the new information that Tristan Thompson

has moved two doors down from baby mama Khloe Kardashian. He should have moved three doors down. From Rob Thomas. No, that's not Rob Thomas' Matchbox 20. If you're's not. That's not Rob. Rob Thomas is Matchbox 20. If you're going to name your 2000s, rock.

All of those rock bands of the late 90s. All sound the same. With the same person. Yes. With three doors down. Three doors down. Let me. Yes.

That's exactly how it went Brad Arnold, Matt Roberts and Todd Harrell We're laughing but I'm genuinely seeing Papa Roach next month. She's trying to make me go. And the used. Me and producer Jared are going, and we're going for the used, but Papa Roach is a bonus. Well, he's going for Papa Roach. Sam and Bill. rush.

Bands these days wouldn't have the audacity, wouldn't have the guts to sing like that. It's great stuff. It's great stuff. The 2000s music, it really was something, wasn't it? Arguably unbeatable. The best we've had since the 80s. Now, we want to know, on the news of the Tristan Thompson. Tristan and Chloe moved two doors down.

Two doors down. Unfortunately Chloe moved two doors down. Two doors down. Unfortunately, not three doors down. How close do you live to your ex? James, how close? Right next door. So one door. That's one door down. One door down.

So how did you end up living next door to your ex? So I bought a house and then a year later she bought the house next to mine and didn't realise. Did she? Okay, so you had broken up before you bought a house and then a year later she bought the house next to mine and didn't realise. Did she? Okay, so you had broken up before you bought the house? Yeah, so we broke up a year and a half before I bought the house. And then how long were you there before she buys the house? One year, four months. Oh my God.

James, tell us that moment where you realised that you're living next door to your ex or she realised. Let's just say I drove past my house and jumped home for a week. Oh, okay. So we're not friends. So it was not a good break-up then? Oh, it was a good break-up but you don't expect her to be taking your brother. Okay, sorry, I just took a massive sip of coffee when you started

talking and I had to swallow it. She left you for your brother? Yeah, and I only found out when I found out they bought the house. Wait, so your brother bought the house and your brother's house too? Surely your brother knew where you lived. I haven't spoken to my brother in nine years. You need to write an angsty song about this, James.

James, this is wild. Craft me from my brother. This is wild. Okay. There's so much to take in here. I wish we could call her of the weekend, but we've already called her of the week. He's been through so much.

Can we do two calls of the week? But what about James? Is there a Mrs. James or a Mr. James now? You moved on. No, I'm living a single life there a Mrs. James or a Mr. James now? You moved on. No, I'm living a single life. Happy years. Yeah, happy years. As long as you're happy. Do you talk to them at all?

No. Not at all. What if there wasn't some repairs needed to the fence? Guys, I'm going to make a Mick decision. Come on, Mick Daddy. And thanks to show sponsor McCafe, you're going to be our secondary caller of the week and you've got a $50 McCafe voucher.

Thanks to our mates at McCafe. Don't share it with your bloody brother. What a Mick decision that was. Thank you. It's a Mick executive decision. Thank you, James. Oh, yeah. I'm going to win Thank you, James. A couple of text messages.

Dude, so many text messages. So many. How close do you live next to your eggs? Do you want me to loop the song again? Yes, please. Yes, please. No, I feel like I actually want some Rob Thomas now. Rob Thomas has nothing to do with Three Doors Down.

It would just be out of context. It was all interchangeable parts. No, it's lacking in context. It was... If Matchbox 20 were... What Matchbox 20 song? Any. Any.

Any. Any. Any. Any. It's like the Mazda BT-50 and the Ford Ranger. Change the badges and they're the same thing. That's what Three Doors Down was. You can hear it in the engine.

Yeah. Okay, carry on. Okay. My baby what three doors down was. You can hear it in the engine. Yeah. Okay, carry on. Okay. My baby mama ex lives next door. I thought the grass was greener on the other side until I found out I had to mow that one too. Oh dear. A little Lord Mowing.

All my exes live in Chile. I'm originally from Chile. I haven't had any exes in New Zealand and don't think as well as I'm a happily engaged girl now. Well, it wasn't what we asked. That's not what we asked. That's just showing off that you're from Chile. I haven't had any exes in New Zealand and don't think as well as I'm a happily engaged girl now. Well, it wasn't what we asked. That's not what we asked. That's just showing off that you're from Chile. So beautiful, that country. Congratulations.

Lord of Raspberries in Chile. Someone said they could beat James' story. They know a couple that have a kid together. They broke up and now she's dating his brother and they all live together in the same house. Uncle Daddy. Wow. Wow. Okay. My ex and I broke up two weeks ago.

We still live together because it's too expensive to go anywhere else and we both work in the area where we've got two cats and a dog. Yeah. And that way we have access to them and we don't have to break them up. I won't lie,

it is weird being down the hall though. I'm sure what the future holds but definitely easier than either of us moving out at this stage. Yeah, it's too hard, isn't it? weird being down the hall, though. I'm sure what the future holds, but definitely easier than either of us moving out at this stage. Yeah, it's too hard, isn't it? If you can get along, fine. Do it. Why not?

Save some pennies. I live over the roundabout from my ex-boyfriend. We both go to the same shops as well as grocery night. So grocery night's always awkward when we go on the same night of the week. Pick a different grocery night. Yeah. My new partner finds it weird so sometimes we take a trip

to do the groceries at a further away supermarket. Oh no, you can't do that. Yeah. I know neighbours who partner switched and made it permanent. Both refused to move

so now they live next door to each other. Easier for the kids to hand over. But who got the better house or were they both similar houses? Because imagine you renovated your house with your wife and you left.

They're in a renovator's dream. Yeah. Well, maybe that's why she left. She had an itch to renovate. Yeah. They're in a renovator's dream. Yeah. Well, maybe that's why she left. She had an itch to renovate. Yeah. Went over there to renovate. It's a hard itch to ignore, let me tell you. Yeah.

My ex and I broke up five months ago. We still live together. We bought a house together and have two pets and still hang out and are good friends after 12 years in a relationship. Oh, that's nice. What time is it? It's 3am. Mama's been lonely.

Mama's been lonely. Mama's been lonely. Help me, Michelle, baby. My ex and I live 200 metres around the corner. He has to drive past my house any time he goes anywhere. Him and his fiancé walk past my house to grab coffee every day. We have kids, and honestly, it's the best thing ever. I just realise I'll never be able to date anyone as him, and the kids will always ask who was over when I have visitors.

But he's got a fiancé. Yeah. You should feel free to date. You should move on. Yeah, move on. Get out there. Yeah. Get James back on the blower.

He's used to a slightly unusual situation. He's got a house. He's got a house. You could move to his house. And a bit of drama attached to it with the neighbours. Well, he with the neighbours. He hates the neighbours.

There's a fruit fly. There's a fruit fly. It's been buzzing around all show too. You nearly got it before. I nearly got it. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I couldn't see it. You've got to get your eyes seen too. I'd like to know if anybody listening is a nurse or a doctor in an emergency department in Aotearoa, New Zealand, because you'd be able to say whether or not it is the same here. Okay. We know a doctor, don't we? We do. But he's a general practitioner. No, but he's... Don't shame him for looking after the everyday person.

He's just a general practitioner. Oh, wow. Ouch. Or as I like to call them, someone who can Google and has got their own set of scales. Wow. Loves weighing. Loves to weigh us. Loves weighing.

You don't know their GPs. Better jump on this. Why? Pep smear in a way and you're out of there. Yeah. I'm a hero about a sore throat. You better jump on this, fatso. Yeah. Why? Come on, fatto. You better jump on this, Fatsy. Yeah.

Why? Come on, Fatto. Am I allowed to take my boots off? Do you do it, you know when you go and see a doctor or you give blood or something,

they say, is your weight the same as last time? I always say yes, even though it's 10 kgs difference and I always worry, I always worry that they're going to like,

we'll just double check and I'll be called out. Oh, yeah, okay. When I say 10, I mean. What would change though? Do they need to up a bit of prescription or something?

I don't know. I don't know. That's why I'm like it doesn't matter. Up your pamole. I don't know. Sure. So, today's fact of the day, this comes to us from a study of an emergency department, the pediatric a 10 year single centre retrospective study

of pediatric instant noodle burns. I'm sorry. What's happening? Instant noodles are the most prolific burns that children get are instant noodle burns. From the noodle or the water? From the noodle or the water. Any burn, how did this happen? I was making or eating instant noodles is how the burn happens.

Right. Yeah. So there were 790 pediatric scold burns. 31% of them attributed directly to instant noodles. So they've tipped the plate, the bowl rather, when they've been eating them? Or they've picked up the jug to pour it into the bowl and have spilt boiling water on themselves.

Any in the making or eating of instant noodles, 31% of childhood burns are attributed to instant noodles. Oh, my God. And I was just wondering, do you reckon it's the same here? Because we're a nation of huge instant noodles. We love our noodles. We love our noodles. When you make an instant noodle, say like a two-minute or like a classic instant noodle,

do you leave, do you make broth or do you make them dry? You know how you can either drain broth or keep broth? I drain and boil till they're soggy. Then I put the flavour in. This guy's a stodgy noodle. I don't want noodle sachet soup. No, no, no. Yuck. Boiling them. You'd leave some broth in. I'm a broth girl. Yeah. And I'd drain it and then add the flavor. Because I'm a flavor guy. You're a flavor guy.

I'm a broth girl. Yeah. We've known for a long time. Well known. Those are our superhero names. Yeah, I'm very brothy. Flavor boy and broth girl. And stodgy noodle. And stodgy lad.

Stodgy lad was there. Wow. You know. They made up the numbers. But, so yeah, 31% of burns to children. Instant noodles, they said nothing else came close when it came to burns. And have any nurses or doctors messaged in? Ah, let me just see if this is a thing here in New Zealand.

Because the ACC would have some stats. Oh, my God. They love it. Noodle burns? Noodle burns. That sounds like a great metal band. No joke. Noodle burns are no joke.

I burnt my boobie As a teenager I had to get a dress Every two days For weeks Oh my god How embarrassing As a teenager

Boobie How'd you burn your boobie In a Did it fall into the bottom Like you're like this Then you lean over To get Plop

And straight into a Oh my goodness They get themselves Into all sorts of places I had a cup We should do a phone We should Bankless forer on you. We should bang this for tomorrow. Bang for tomorrow?

Instant noodle injuries. Instant noodle injuries. What went wrong with your instant noodles? There's some coming in hot. Oh, this is fantastic. That's tomorrow taken care of. Yeah. Oh my God. I love how you're so lazy. I'm innovative and efficient. Yeah, that you're using this for tomorrow's show. Brackets. Lazy.

Close brackets. Yeah, tomorrow we're going to talk about your instant noodle injuries. I like these. Yeah. Message in if you've got one. Yeah, we'll bank it for tomorrow, but then we'll take them tomorrow as well. There's an injury the time that I mixed with orange juice and then channeed, and I've never eaten them again. So you put orange juice in your noodles for the broth?

No, no, no, no. Like two-minute noodles I can't do again. I'm a broth girl, but I had two-minute noodles and orange juice. Also, everybody, no, no. Like two minute noodles I can't do again. I'm a broth girl but I had two minute noodles and orange juice. Also, everybody around the world calls them ramen. Right? No, ramen has meat

and egg and scallions. No, I know, but the noodles themselves, people call instant two minute noodles, they're not called two minute noodles

anywhere in the world. I thought ramen noodles were thicker. No, but instant ramen. Americans in English call this instant ramen. Right, yeah. Not instant noodles. I've heard Costco has some amazing instant ramen Americans in English call this instant ramen Right Yeah Instant noodles

I've heard Costco has some amazing instant ramen Really? Yeah I've seen it It's like famous People are like

this is the best It's an Asian brand Yes and you can add it You can add an egg or something Add an egg You can add an egg or you can add the egg

to your own noodles at home This is enough noodle chat We don't want to dry out the noodle chat. We don't want stodgy noodle chat tomorrow. The stodge. Dry out two-minute noodles, boiled, and then... Stodgy Steve here.

Get rid of the water and then add the flavour. The best way to eat two-minute noodles. No. Or ramen. Broth. I'm frothing for the broth-ing. So today's fact of the day is 31% of burns to children in Chicago at the burn centre were the result of instant noodles.

Oh! Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Now, couples therapist Trevor Hansen has revealed the top reason he sees for people fighting in their relationships. What is the number one thing? What do you think it would be? Money. No, it's actually not money What do you think it would be? Money. No, it's actually not money.

No cuddle. Not enough cuddles. It's not lack of affection. It's a more broad thing that could probably cover all of those. Oh, global warming. Equality. Not equality. Communication.

Communication. Is it communication? Oh my God, Fletch. Have you read this article? I wasn't listening. Communication? Yes. You've got it. Oh my God, Fletch. Have you read this article? I wasn't listening. Communication? Yes. You've got it.

Oh my smart little boys. Yeah, he said it's the number one problem that he sees couples coming back time and time again is the way that they communicate. So for example, Vaughn, if you were my wife and I said to you... I'd be honoured. Thank you.

Thank you. And say you just, I don't know, you just looked a bit down and then I said, what's wrong, hon? And you said, nothing. That shit communication. I'd't know, you just looked a bit down and then I said, what's wrong, hon? And you said, nothing. I'd be like, are you sure? Yeah, I would then again double down on nothing. It's fair communication, but it's a powerful tool.

And then I'd say, I'm fine. Oh yeah, I'm fine. But you're obviously not. No, you don't say nothing like that. As a woman, you go, ask me. Okay, what's wrong? Nothing. Well, something is obviously up.

No. Is it because I'm talking to that hot Instagram model? No, it's fine. You can talk to whoever you want. I'm fine. It's fine. I don't care. I'm not insecure like that.

You can talk to whoever you want, and I can do the same. Wait, who are you talking to? Oh, the bootsman put on the other foot. Communication is unravelling. And the reason I really wanted to share this is because he's given a great example. He's given somewhat of a script that he hears a lot

and kind of broken it down into what is said, what was meant, and what was heard. So partner one could say, we don't ever go on dates anymore. And then partner two would say in response,

well, you're ungrateful for what I do. I can never do enough for you. Like I do a lot of other things other than taking you out on a date. Yeah. Now, the... Is this the thing not to say or the thing to say? This is how we might communicate,

but we shouldn't. Ugh. Right? I thought this was his advice. I was like, how we might communicate, but we shouldn't. Ugh. Right? I thought this was his advice. I was like, I would avoid this professionally. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. So that partner, partner two who said, oh, you're so ungrateful, I do a lot of other things. The meaning that they made of you saying, we don't go on dates anymore, is you're a bad partner

and you're underappreciated by me. That's what I think you're saying to me when I say we don't go on dates anymore. Oh, okay. So I'm a bad partner and you're underappreciated by me. That's what I think you're saying to me when I say we don't go on dates anymore. Oh okay, so I'm a bad partner then. And what partner one made of what they said in response is what you want or how you

feel is unimportant to me. So they were just like totally misreading each other. What was actually meant when partner one said we don't go on dates anymore is I love you so, we don't go on dates anymore is, I love you so much. And I miss going on dates with you. Was it though?

Can we go on more dates? Because it all depends on time. Can we? I'm just saying, I would love to go on more dates with you. Say that then. Exactly. And what was actually meant when partner two said,

why are you so ungrateful to do a lot of things is, I so badly want the good I do to be recognised by you and not just the bad. Right. Your view of me matters because I love you. I thought that was a funny little script. I mean, who's going to go into a relationship, though, when you're like six weeks, no date nights, they're just busy sitting on the couch scratching themselves

and watching, I don't know, something. Are you going to go in and say, I love you so much that I wish we could spend more quality time together? Like going on a date as opposed to like, when was the last bloody time you took me out? So it's miscommunication is the number one thing. It doesn't give any really great tools on how better to communicate because it's impossible.

We are put together on this earth to partner up with one other person and fight. Constantly. And then it's a test of who can stick it out the longest. It's a competition. As to whether or not you die together or you split and find another person to argue with.

That's my advice. But the next person you argue with might be better at arguing than you were the first time around. And that's the roll of the dice every time. Better at arguing than you or like better at arguing together? Because sometimes it's a

competition. Oh no, better at arguing than you, like that clever, that always one step ahead of you with the argument. Yes, yes, yes. Whereas you were that person in the last relationship which made you unbearable, and now you're seeing in the next relationship how unbearable you truly were because you're always one step ahead.

That's deep, bro. You're welcome. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Play ZM. This is Bali. There's some beautiful Balinese music. Balinese music, and this some beautiful Balinese music. Balinese music. And this is various Balinese musicians. Zhigog.

Wow. This one's cool. Stunning backdrop. Thank you. News from the travel desk concerning Bali. Yeah. And warnings for travellers. So there was an Aussie traveller, of which many Balinese guests are Aussies.

Potentially the worst part about Bali. The Aussies, yeah. The amount of Australians there, and I say that as a Kiwi there, has declared a warning on her social media. I think she shares a bit of her travel online. She said she arrived in Bali and was going through a bag and noticed a bit of a strange noise.

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Upon investigation, found that someone had dropped an AirTag in her backpack. This is the Apple AirTags that can see where you're going. That's creepy. So someone... She was able to see that the AirTag was made in Indonesia. So it was after she'd arrived, maybe collected her bags, and as she was leaving to a hotel, someone air-tagged her.

And so then they follow you to where you're staying and rob you. Absolutely. Wow. Because they'd look at you and be like, there's a bloody Pakeha tourist. Yep. Probably not their choice of words. I'm not sure if they know what that means.

But they would say, there's a white tourist, maybe looks a bit, probably has a bit of money on them, they've just arrived for a holiday here. Let's air-tag them, follow them back, and yeah, we'll rob them. Oh, this is just what those people that wrap your suitcases in plastic want to hear. Some money to their ears, isn't it? But you know what they don't want to hear is how badly it's impacting the environment, that plastic wrap.

No. They said immediately they took the battery. Can you take the battery out of those? Because you've got one. You twist them to open them. That's how you replace the battery. They're like those little flat batteries that you put in. Yeah, they're the battery. Because can you take the battery out of those? Because you've got one. You twist them to open them. That's how you replace the battery. They're like those little flat batteries that you put in. Yeah, they're watch batteries.

And they've kind of changed air tags so they'll beep at your location. And you'll also get a message on your phone saying, this air tag is registered to, it'll give you the last few digits of their phone number. Oh, really? So they, it was in their backpack. So they were waiting for their bags. In their backpack, they said the very seasoned travellers,

nothing like this has ever happened. They're very safe, all locked up. But it was just put into like a little zip front pocket. Because you could just slip that into any place. Get in a cab and follow them. Terrible. Oh, that's freaky. She said, they said that once they took the battery out,

even though they had booked and paid for non-refundable eight nights accommodation, they took a taxi and changed their location to three hours away to a more populated area. Oh, that's very... It's a flute solo. No, go to something else. Yeah, more of the Balinese drums. Have you got some drum and bass? Balinese drum and bass? I've got some.

Windchimes? Some bells and bass. Oh, mums will love this. Oh, can someone rub me? That's not good in the workplace. I apologise. I take it back. No, jot that down.

That needs to be jotted straight down. Straight up to HR for that one. So the second story out of Bali for Harle's Balinese news. You've got two for us. You've got two for us. Is there is a Russian man who has had to apologise. He needs to slow down and enjoy life. Barley's about slowing down and enjoying, you know, the...

Oh, my God, you did not just say that. Hey, you don't need to be Russian, man. Hayley is embarrassed for you, Sayed, man. It's OK. Look, we like him despite these things. We are at Bar's okay. Look, we like him despite these things. We're in Bali time, baby. We like him despite these things. Stop rushing around.

There is a man from Russia who, lots of people do this, people who are tourists in Bali posing semi-naked on sacred sites. Yeah. You know, doing your yoga. Oh, my God, when we went, when we were in Bali. Oh, here we go. I don't know if you know. Here we go again. Okay, well, we were in Bali. We went to

go look at this, like, famous waterfall, and there were two girls there in very small bikinis, as you're, you know, good for you. I would too if I looked like that. But they were trying to do, like, upside down yoga poses, you know, with, like, split legs, and Aaron was, like, looking down, he was like, I can see everything. Like, oh my God.

How long was he looking for? I don't know. I lost him at some point. We kept going up. I don't know. He didn't follow. Anyway, this guy. Well, I think he thought they were running a yoga class.

That's why he went down to join in. Yeah, exactly. He's trying to keep flexible. Because you've got to keep long limbs like him. You've got to keep them limber. Yes, you do. He was at a sacred site Posed with his pants And his underwear

Down A little bit And then put it on His social media And then the authorities Tracked him down In Bali were like Dude, we'll

We'll prosecute you Take it down And then he had to do One of those like Oh, how How do you do Russian? Yeah It does like this.

Oh, yeah, the vodka. I'm sorry for my action. It's a real groveling video. Like it's kind of do this video or you'll go to prison kind of video. Yeah. Gun to his head kind of thing. Did he do that in a hurry as well? It didn't take his time.

Can we get out of here? Yeah. I counted 79 all rights today. Fletcher, but that's a new personal record. Oh, f*** off. How many of those did you count? Oh, yeah, 79 of those too. All right, well, if you enjoyed today's podcast,

give us a rate and review. Oh, f*** off. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.