ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Podcast -30th March 2023

Episode Date: March 29, 2023

Silly Little Poll!  Top 6: Extinct Meats  Yummy Yummy!  Hot Cross Bun Index  Final Next Flight  Vaughan's Iphone Debacle  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you, Sam. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. It's two minutes past six. Lovely blue bright jumper. Thank you. Today from you. Thank you. Really radiant. Yeah, I'm getting real Jenny Shipley are about to roll Jim Bolger in the late 90s National Caucus vibes.

It's very power blue, isn't it? It's National Party blue. Very National Party blue. Traditional National Party blue, you know. Wow's very power blue, isn't it? It's National Party blue. National Party blue. Traditional National Party blue, you know? Wow, two ticks blue. You know me. You know me. Yeah. I've always been outspoken about it.

You like a little bit of yellow with your blue, don't you? Yeah, just a dash. Just a dash. Just a dash. Didn't you vote greens once? That's what I meant. Like for years and years. Oh, yeah, I know. You mix yellow and blue and it goes green. No, but greens are greens. Just a dash. Didn't you vote greens once? That's what I meant. Like for years and years. You meant yellow and blue and it goes green.

No, but greens are greens. Oh, right. I thought you meant she loves David Seymour. Because you do have a crush on David Seymour. Yeah, we've actually got a, we've had history. Yeah, me and David. Undeniably. Undeniably.

Who doesn't? Am I right? Guys, cold start? Dude! When you'd say the coldest morning of the year so far? Four degrees in the chimney, it said outside, four degrees. We got out the feathery dovot last night because it was too cold. Yeah, but you don't have any walls, so you're not really the, you're mid-renovations, you're

not really the... We're feeling it. Your only insulation was an old wasp's nest and you pulled all that out, didn't you? Yeah, we did and I regret it. I think it was the only thing keeping us warm. Yeah, lots of booty. Booty heaters. What do you mean?

Oh, backing the booties in. Yeah, well, Aaron said this morning he was half asleep because we were sleeping in the lounge, so he used to just listen to me in the kitchen. And he said, is this a bit rude? He was trying to say like he wanted me to to bring my warm butt back to the bed. Right. To keep him warm.

Yeah, right. And he accidentally, in half asleep, said, bring your butthole back to the bed. And I was like, I don't think it's the butthole that's keeping you warm. Yeah. It's the large gluteus maximus. But I've got to go to work. Coming up on the show... That butthole's got to go and get some... It's got to go to work. Coming up on the show. That butthole's got to go and get some money.

It's got to get some money. Get some money. How else do I make my money? Other than with this just top class butthole. Eight o'clock on the show. Next flight. It's our last trip. So joining us in studio,

Benjamin and Sophia. Sophia? Benjamin and Sophia will be sitting in our plane seats, our airline seats. How do you spell that? Well, yeah, it's F-A-S-A-F. Okay. Did I say that right?

Sophia. Sophia, do you reckon? Yeah. Sophia? Sophia. Well, look, we can ask them. At 8 o'clock. They're going to open.

They've got their bags packed. They're going to be in the studio. This girl is Sophia! It's good. That's good for you. This girl is Sophia! Coming in with Benjamin! Benjaya! This girl is Sophia!

It's going to be one of those days, isn't it? It's Friday, isn't it? No, it's Thursday. Yeah, I know. We're losing days. Aaron said to me this morning, another thing he said after asking for my warm butthole to get back into bed,

was be careful at work. And I said, why? And he said, it's April Fools. And I said, dude. It's the 30th of March. It's the 30th of March. It's the 30th of March. You've still got two more days to push through. Was he still drunk?

Who knows? Well, always a little bit. Did you get drinks last night? Join us at 8 for next flight. Thanks to Grab a Seat. And we'll find out where they're going. It's our last trip. And I tell you what, it's a good destination.

Well, Vaughn's already said it's his favourite. Warmer than any of these places today. He said, that's warmer than this hellhole. This bloody hellhole. Warmer than this any of these places today there's warmer than this hell hole this bloody hell hole warmer than this hell hole so warm you won't need to take that butthole

back to bed really no you'll be probably telling that butthole to move over a little bit yeah oh lovely

on the way the top six Vaughn you have news about expired meat no not expired meat well extinct meat extinct, extinct meat. Extinct meat. I still am erring on the side of caution that I think this is an early April Fool's.

I got sent this by five people yesterday. Oh, yeah. Smithy, get one of these on the barbecue. Yeah, no, that's right. And I was like, hold your horses there, champ. I think this might be... If it was, this story has gone everywhere. It was on every news site I saw yesterday.

Because we've collectively decided that April Fool's is for children. Yeah. We said let the children have it and they're like, Dad, I've made you pancakes. Oh, yum. Can't wait for those pancakes. April Fool's. Oh, dang.

Fell for it. This is the new, because I saw a pizza company was like, here's our all cilantro pizza. What are they called? Cor pizza company was like, here's our all cilantro pizza. What are they called? Coriander. Here's our all coriander pizza. Yum, give me it. And so you'd imagine on April Fool's they'd come out and say, it wasn't sure. I'd literally order it.

I love coriander. There was no cheese on it. Fine with me. It was tomato paste coriander. It was a poor effort at an April Fool's joke. Thin the thick crust. Ah, thick.ick Yeah I'm in Bread No way Tomato coriander

I mean I love coriander But there's got to be cheese at least A bit of chilli oil Yeah a bit of cheese Or chilli Yeah It's got to be something like that But yeah it could be

It could be Woolly mammoth They're saying The meat of the woolly mammoth Could be a meatball They've used DNA Yep They said it's a while

After commercial production Obviously But this is Where we're at with genetic science now. It'd be quite fatty, maybe? I bet it would, because, yeah, they lived in the cold spots. You know, animals that live in cold spots have always got a little extra fatty tissue. So the top six, the other extinct meats that I would like to have on the barbecue, summer 2023-24.

Coming up on the show next. France has introduced a new law that is going to impact a lot of influencers. I remember we talked about this, but it's become a thing. It's happened. It's next. Now, this is taking the next step. We talked about it a while ago now that France was looking to create a law that would mean if you didn't disclaim that you were using a filter on your social media,

you would get a big fine. And it's taken the next step. I mean, it's pretty obvious when you've got the dog tongue sticking out in the dog ears. That's cute, hey? It's so cute. Could be a dog though, how would you know? A lot of people put their dogs on social media Fletch, how would you know?

How would you know? So they've taken the next step and they've worked out a lot more information around this potential law. They're saying that it's going to be very strict, like a zero tolerance approach. None of this kind of like, yeah, I'm declaring the taxes on the T-shirt I was gifted.

The French finance minister Bruno Le Maire has said it could result into two years of jail time. What? And 52,000 equivalent New Zealand dollars in fines. What if you were, do you have to be a French citizen or resident? Because like, what if, say for example, a Kardashian, they've had some famous Photoshop fails. They post, and then that's seen in France. No, it would be residents, right?

How would you even? And you've got to say, what, hashtag altered image or something. Hashtag filtered. Right. The other thing, the worst part, arguably, jail time, $50,000 fine, they'll be banned from social media platforms. Oh, wow. How will you pay off your $50,000 fine?

If you can't make your money on social media. Yeah. It's being debated as we speak as the thing to go forward for the next step. Because they're saying, I mean, they're kind of stepping in and saying, you know, the impact it's having on young people and the way that it's impacting the way we see ourselves, it's too much. And so they have to... What are they classing as like a filter or an altered image?

Is it like if you swipe left, say your Instagram, you swipe and it's just a coloured like an altered image? Is it like if you swipe left, say your Instagram, you swipe and it's just a coloured Madrid or something? Apparently, it's anything retouched. Right. So what if you smudge a pimple in an app? You're like, I don't like that pimple. Jail. You smudge over the pimple and then you'll go to jail

because you covered up a pimple? Jail. Okay, here's a great example. What about your pimple? I was like, I know because I was on Instagram yesterday and I did a little swipe-ity-do to try to blur her. But you'd go to jail. Okay, here's a great example.

Wedding photos. Jail. All of those are retouched. Yeah, yeah, you go to jail. Wedding photos are put through all the filters. You just need to say, has been retouched. And if you don't, you're going to jam.

And there'll be a hashtag for it, like retouch or touch up. You can still do it. Filter. You just have to say. Just say filter. You have to say, right. Just say filter.

You're right. They're saying it's not a fight against influenza. It's not a fight against influencers, but it's a system to protect both them and consumers. Right. Because they've got terrible like eating disorder stats in france they've got they did a big survey saying over

50 of young girls believe they don't look good enough without some form of photo editing so they're just like we're just gonna step in and we're gonna we're gonna quash it and the pan the pandemic didn't help either did it because we all had to look at each other on zoom and ourselves on zoom and that yeah caused an uptickick in a whole lot of cosmetic surgeries and filtering. Just turn your camera off. Have you ever seen people that put the sellotape? They tape and then they put the string across the other side and they pull it like that. You would see that sellotape in real life.

If I was like that, you'd be able to see I've got a couple of bits of little tape there, right? Yeah. Are you asking because it would be ridiculous of bits of little tape there, right? Yeah. Coming back up. Are you asking because it would be ridiculous or because? Like look at my face, right? Yeah, that's really toint. Do you ever get like bored looking? Or if you're like waiting for someone and you're in the car

and you start doing the thing where you see like what it would look like. To get a bit of work done. If you pulled it back a little bit. Do you know what's a good, like marching hats? Because they're so tight and they pull your whole face back. Everyone gets this like free facelift for a bit. Yeah. And you're like,

oh my God, there she is. There she is. Where did she go? But then when you pull back, it also like, I always find it just pulls around the eyes enough to kind of like, just change your vision a little bit.

Yeah, right. This pulls a little bit. Hey, you're beautiful as you are. You are beautiful. No matter what they say. Unless they're saying you're ugly because then that's obviously not. Hey, you're beautiful as you are. You are beautiful. No matter what they say. Unless they're saying you're ugly, because then that's obviously not. Yeah, they're not saying that, are they? They're not saying you're beautiful.

Hey, that's for another day. That whole topic. Quarter past six. When do you want to cover that one? Another day. Any day. Any day. I just feel like every day we could tell each other that you're beautiful.

Yeah. Well, let's talk about. You walked in this morning, Gordon, and I said, good morning, gorgeous. You did say good morning, gorgeous. And I jotted that down. I jotted it straight down in my HR notebook. I also put that in as a witness. I'm just trying to find the line.

Jot, jot, jot, jot, jot, jot, jot. It's a hard to find line. Next on the show, something that I assumed. Well, no, I didn't assume because I see the results of this sort of ridiculousness every day. But I thought we took care of this in the 90s. There was ad

campaigns. There was jingles. There was songs. Old man's bed must go. Is it old man's bed? Old man's bed must go. No, not that. Although we do have a weeds issue in this country. Oh, no. We'll put that in the chat for another day as well. You're angry. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

I am disgusted. He's livid. Oh, my God. I've never seen him so upset. I am so upset with you all. With me? Well, I like to think people who listen to this radio show and radio station wouldn't dare litter.

Littering. Littering. Littering. What is this, the 90s? The litterbugs. Keep New Zealand Beautiful's latest, Keep New Zealand Beautiful is still kicking around. Just silently in the background, they were like, we took care of it

with a zippy jingle in the 90s. It was like, put it in the bin, y'all, do the right thing. Litter and Zazen, y'all, do the right thing. Later ends the sin, yo, do the right thing. Ba-dap, ba-dap. It was a jazzy little rapping rubbish bin. Yeah, and they always used to tell us, clean up, put your rubbish in the bin.

We used to pick up litter as a punishment at school. Yeah. It would have been a naughty one. Yeah, and on the side of the road if you were on periodic detention or community service. Oh, my God, and on the side of the road if you were on periodic detention or community service. Oh my God, those were the days. So,

Cape New Zealand's Beautiful's latest national litter audit found the number of cigarette butts has decreased. Well, that's good because everyone's vaping bloody crispy apple,

aren't they? Everybody's vaping cinnamon. The hydrangea. Get a hydrangea flavoured for vape. Why not? Hydrangea.

An acorn flavoured vape. Oh not? Hydrangea. An acorn flavoured vape. Oh, yeah, beautiful. What are acorns? Are they more like a hazelnut? No, they're yuck. Are they? Okay, yuck. I don't actually know what an acorn is.

Like, I've never eaten one. Oh, they taste like nothing. And they are absolutely void of... It's one of those things you could eat heaps of, but you'd still die of malnutrition because it doesn't have enough. What if squirrels eat them? They don't eat other nuts. Oh, they'd eat a lot of acorns if they were going to eat acorns.

And pigs love acorns, but it's just filler. Yeah, okay. Anyway, that's enough acorn chat for now. We'll come back to that. We'll add that to the list of things we'll come back to another day. Come back to it. Write that on the list. Another day.

Yeah, acorns. Write that on the list. Okay. But the number of plastic litter items has increased. Plastic litter. Yeah, plastic litter has increased. We banned shopping bags. I know.

But other plastic things, snack wrappers, packets. You know what they were expecting more of but didn't find as many of? Masks, disposable gloves, and COVID-19 test kits. Oh, shoot. But snack wrappers, packets, and apparently those overtook alcoholic beverage containers. Oh, yeah. As the top category of branded litter. I hate that you do.

So people are having a muesli bar and then out the window. I hate seeing bloody cans and bottles. Chip packets. You get a lot of rubbish thrown down your road, don't you? Because you're kind of rural. Yeah. Not as much as we did. Thanks to all the rain, it just got washed into the local waterways.

Oh, thank God. That's such good news. It's all down by Hayley's house. It floated down the river. Yeah, yeah. Stunning. Thank you. Yeah.

Littering. It just feels so, you know, when you see it, cause like in the nineties, like, I just think we were a bit more oblivious, but like when you see it now,

like especially if someone's driving and you see them toss trash out the window, you're like, what? Yeah. It is. It's wild. People smoking cigarettes and you pull up alongside them and they go, and flick it out the window.

And you're like, no, you grubby little bastard. Put it in your ashtray. I don't want my car to stink. And newsflash, it already stinks. It stinks. And take it out when you get home.

Don't chuck it out the window. That stuff never breaks down. God, I pulled up next to someone the other day and they were smoking in their car with their window up. Like they were parked. What? Well, the cigarettes cost so much now you've got to make the most of them. You really can't let any go to waste

You've got to hotbox Recirculate around the car Oh don't lit it Don't lit it guys No When I mentioned this before Shanley Pajamas At the social media desk

Was on a date with a guy And he lit it right in front of her Yeah What like out the car Or just walking Yeah out the window And it was a first date And

Oh no What was it? It was I'm pretty sure it was Maccas Not the show sponsor! And I said disrespecting the beautiful show sponsor. Yeah thank you. And the beautiful planet. Exactly.

Both those things I won't stand by. Equally bad. Yeah and I was pretty frank about it. I said I think that's really disgusting and I was like can you take me home if you're going to do this on a first date? Tells me a lot about your character. I'm done. Did you make him go pick

it up? It sounds like you really did. It was out the window. We pulled up, if you've been to Christchurch, you know up the Port Hills. It was one of those kind of dates. The beautiful Port Hills. Was she going to have a little moment of calm?

God, if he hadn't littered he might have had a play on your porthole. Yes, exactly. Bumpity bumpity. And then take it down to Littleton if you know what I mean.

Well, no, no, no. He littered and we were done. Through the tunnel to Littleton. Hello. But that's the thing, you litter.

I am writing this in my HR journal on your behalf as a witness. I think it's going to be a bloody HR heavy show. So in 2019, to put some numbers to it, in 2019, 1,000 square metres had 370 grams of trash when they did this audit.

This year, it had over doubled to 800 grams. Oh, wow. 1,000 square metres. That's insane. That's nearly a kilogram of junk in a... Okay. Is it an acre or a hectare that's 1,000 square metres? A hectare. Pack up your crap.

Dude. Pack up your crap. Pack up your crap. Put it in the bin. I mean, it's alright when we bury this in a landfill where we can't see it. Exactly. And if the wind blows it out of there before the diggers can pack it down, that's okay. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little boy. Silly little boy. Silly little boy.

We've got a promo and the voiceover. Great job. Great job. Yeah. But he says the Acom is booked. And every morning I'm like, it's Acom. How do we let that get through? It snuck through, didn't it?

Well, some people say AECOM. Yeah, as in accommodation. But my whole life has always been like, who's booking the AECOM? Yeah. Have we booked the AECOM? I've got a great AECOM. And so I felt so passionately about this that I made him a silly little pop. This is the same promo where it sounds like he says, neck flight.

We've got a few issues with this promo. So we want to know, is it a-com or a-com? Yeah. And then when I went to vote, I thought it was confusing, the options. Yeah. I didn't know which one was hypothetically. I'm going to say it's one of our weakest silly little polls in terms of the importance of asking this question

and the way in which we asked it. Well, it is a silly little poll. It's silly. People have voted 37% for Arcom. Yep. And 63% for Acom. Yeah, it's Acom. Yeah, it's Acom.

Acom. Don't be lazy and say the whole goddamn word, says Luke. This is the issue with people these days. You need to slow down and smell the farts. See, roses is usually there, but Luke's changed it to farts. I see what he's done there. Also famously, have a scent.

Yeah. Like a rose, except the opposite end of the delightful spectrum. Definitely AECOM. I noticed that he said it funny in the ad too the other day, says Asti.

I'm glad we spoke up on it, Asti. AECOM. Neither, says Gooders. Neither. Wor. Neither, says Gooders. Neither. Worst ever new abbreviation. It's accommodation.

Every single time. Oh, okay. Full word every time. I love an abbreve. Somebody else says, I don't think it's a word I've ever abbreviated. If I did, I would probably say A-com. Yeah.

Well, they've actually put A.com. A.com. And that would be completely wrong. Yeah, that's wrong. Who's booked the A.com? A.com. Yeah. Well, they've actually put A.com. A.com. And that would be completely wrong. Yeah, that's wrong. Who's booked the A.com? A.com. Who's booked the... I'm going to go to A.com.

The site cannot be reached. Oh, that's fair. Yeah. A.com. It can't be reached. Yeah. Well, any time we're saying A.com, all I think of is smack that. A.con.

Yes. Because imagine if we you know we saw him if we called him a con a con that would be wrong yeah that would be wrong it's the English language

so you can't base anything's pronunciation off anything else that's spelt or sounds similar yeah you just can't because the English language

won't let you a con play ZM's Fletch Vorn and Ailey play ZM emo Fletch Vordernaley Play ZM Emojis Fun

Right now Tell me the last six emojis you used Okay Alright Me It goes Taxi Shocked face

Heart Okie dokie sign That's not white power It's okie dokie Because it's just not white power I promise When a white guy promises you it's not white power it's okie dokie it's just not white power I promise when a white guy promises you it's not white power second guess him but not this

white guy promise shocked face and laughy tear guy mine's side laughing cry face eyes with love hearts devil face and then the emoji where he's shrugging his shoulders I love that guy Eyes with love hearts. Yeah. Devil face. Oh. And then the emoji where he's shrugging his shoulders.

I love that guy. I love that guy. Love that guy. He's always up there for me. And then the water squirt because there was some water bullshit. That was. Yeah, that's right. Because your pipes have been bursting recently. Yeah, they've been bursting.

Your bloody pipes are all right. He's had terrible waterworks at his house. I don't know what that was. Anyway, that was my last lot. Mine's the drawl. I guess I'm hungry all the time. Hungry all the time. I love that one.

Yeah, same. Yeah, that's a good emoji. A red heart, heart eyes, a burger, the marching, like the Busby, like the little soldier one, and the flipping the bird. Wow, okay. Well. Yeah. Huh? Like the busby Like the Hat Little soldier one And flipping the bird Wow okay Well Yeah Huh Cause why

Cause I'm Cause I'm Badass Badass With a bad attitude Okay Well there's some new emojis I'm just wondering why

The Vietnamese flag Is part of mine Oh cause you had The Vietnamese spring roll You had a Vietnamese Summer roll A bun me the other day Oh maybe Did you message someone, because you had a Vietnamese... Vietnamese spring roll? You had a Vietnamese... Summer roll? A bun mee the other day.

Oh, maybe. Did you message someone saying, I've had a bun mee? Well, I never eat a bun mee without letting people know I'm eating one. From Vietnam. From Vietnam. You've got to.

It's authentic. Well, here's some new ones. There's a new face one. There's only one new face one around and it's a face that's being shook. So you could be like, I'm shook. Like, what? It looks good.

It looks like this one will go to people's So you could be like, I'm shook. It looks good. It looks like this one will go to people's top 10 immediately. Yeah, there's a blur and some movement lines around. It's like, what? You'd be like, what? Someone's like, my date went well. We did sex stuff. What?

Okay. And then there's three new hearts. There's like a light blue heart, charcoal-y coloured heart A grey heart And a pink heart Just a straight pink heart So we haven't had the straight pink heart We haven't had the straight old pink heart There were like three little pink hearts

Weren't there? Yeah Together, yeah Okay Then we've got like a hand pushing I'm imagining this would be like Your problem now Yep

Like Take this It's like a flat hand pushing Both left and right with five skin tone modifiers. Beautiful. Yellow and then me and then Fletch and then

our Maori friends and then it goes yeah, you know the five. Yeah. How do we feel when someone we know uses the wrong skin tone? Oh, big. I call it out every single time. It's bad, right?

Like they go too dark. Oh, yeah. And you're like, you're not that. Calm down. That's not you. You need to go two tones back. Yeah. I always go pretty pale.

You're more yellow than you are. Yeah. Yeah. I either go like pale or I'll just use the yellow, like the sims. Yeah. Yellow is safe, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So the other emojis outside of that, there's a moose, a donkey, a set of wings that don't look like any animal wings. They look like mythical wings, like angel wings or like Pegasus wings. Yeah. Then there's a plain ass blackbird. What?

Like, you know, the ones that are always out in your garden flicking your bark around? Yes. Get out of here, blackbird. Why do we need that? Don't know. Then there's a goose. Yeah. A white goose.

A blue jellyfish. A hyacinth. The flower. Mm. A hyacinth. Ginger root. Yum. I love ginger.

A pea pod. Peas in a pod. Oh, yeah. Peas in a pod. That'll be cute Yeah That'll be a cute thing When you like

Have a nice chat with someone You just send that We're like Couple of peas in a pod We're like two peas in a pod Yeah A folding hand fan Like that you spin

Out the fan yourself A hair pick Which I didn't know It was called a hair pick It's one of those combs That you'd pop in an afro Oh yeah Or what my mum used

To get her perm fluffed. Oh, okay. In the 90s. A lot of mousse in there. Let the mousse settle a little bit dry and then fluff. A lot of hairspray. Oh, good stuff. A lot of hairspray. Some maracas. Oh.

Maracas. A flute. And then there's two new ones that fall into the symbol category. One is the Wi-Fi symbol. Did we not have that before? We didn't have the Wi-Fi symbol. That's absurd. And one is the Kanda symbol.

What's that? I don't, I don't. Let me just have a quick Google of what a Kanda is. Like the jellyfish. Kanda is, oh, it's cool. It's a sword symbol. It's a Sikh symbol. Oh, is. Like the jellyfish. Kanda is, oh, it's cool. It's a sword symbol. It's a Sikh symbol. Oh, yeah.

From the religion. Not to be confused with the emblem of Iran. Okay. The kanda is a symbol of the Sikh faith, which attained its current form around 1930s during the kanda movement. Right. Okay, so there you go.

It's a religious symbol. It's a wild batch of emojis. It's weird, though. Like, you sometimes of emojis. It's weird, though. Like, you sometimes see emojis. I love digging deep and finding an emoji that, like, I would never use. Like, why does this even exist? But then every now and then you'll go and look for an emoji that seems obvious, and it's not there.

And it's not there. And you're like, huh, they don't have an emoji for that yet. It took them ages to get bacon on board. I know. Like, now they've got the rashes. Yeah, the rashes of bacon. Oh, good stuff. Did they?

And they've got the pig, which, of course, can be butchered into bacon. So these are being released in a new update on iOS and rolling out. I'm going to use the hell out of these. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there, the woolly mammoth. My favourite of the mammoths.

Better than the hairless mammoth. Oh my God, yeah. The bald mammoth. Like hairless cats? Yeah. Was there a bald mammoth? No, because surely not. An alopecia mammoth.

What? Oh, no, that's a... The Colombian mammoth? Okay. That inhabited the Americas? Mammoth. Was it just short-haired? God, they're amazing.

No, it was... Not as woolly as the woolly mammoth, and it looked more elephant-like than the mammoth. head. God, they're amazing. No, they were, it was not as woolly as the woolly mammoth and it looked more elephant-like than the mammoth. Right. Like a massive one. Yeah, actually, a bald mammoth is definitely an elephant. Yeah. Yeah. Like, actually, yeah. I moved to Africa

and it didn't need all that hair. Yeah. So, yeah, if news stories are to be believed, we are a few days away from April Fool's Day. Yeah, but a lot of places have been fooled by this, like the BBC. Oh, this is on every major news site around the world. We have to trust the BBC. The idea is they've got DNA from a woolly mammoth found in ice.

Yes. Are preserved. And they said that's enough for them to be able to recreate meat. The meat. Like grow them to be able to recreate meat. The meat. Like grow them and then harvest them for meatballs. Yeah. Because they're saying there will be woolly mammoth meatballs.

They could grow the meat in the lab. Like they do like lab-grown meat. They wouldn't need to make a woolly mammoth just to eat it. Lab-grown meat to me feels, I know it's the way of the future. We can't keep eating. I know. It's going to be weird though when we first have to eat it. Lab-grown meat to me feels... I know it's the way of the future. We can't keep eating. I know. It's going to be weird, though, when we first have to eat it.

It feels chewy. Yeah. Mentally, it feels chewy to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know how much it'll be a kg in the mince section? It'll be pretty expensive. It'll be more expensive when lamb mince.

Mince is so expensive at the moment. Like, so is everything, though. Oh, I know. And to you, you've always got it in the fridge. I've always got mince at the moment. Like, so is everything, though. Oh, I know. And for you, you've always got it in the fridge. I've always got mints in the fridge, don't I? At least one tray. Do you know, mammoths went bald and started getting stomach cramps before going extinct. Oh.

Oh, my God, that feels way too relatable. Yeah, I guess you can't get a quickies for a mammoth, can you? No, it'd be huge. It'd be like a Frisbee. Big disc. A comparison showed that the animals living later had accumulated a series of damaging genetic mutations. Inbreeding. Yeah.

I got a little bit. Got a little bit of inbreeding. Well, I got the top six extinct animal recipes that I would like to try if this is on the board. Number six on the list, a moa masala. Oh. So a teka masala moa. Yes. yes rich any meat in a curry i can yeah yeah curry slow cook the meat in it will you let me do about a chicken a moa butter chicken

about a more about a moa oh because you know i'm basically about a chicken i know couldn't take this i would accept a more Rogan Josh. Okay, more. Great, fantastic. Number five on the list of the top six extinct animal recipes I'd like to try. What about a Thanksgiving pterodactyl? Oh, yeah, beautiful. Huge bird in the middle of the table.

How do you get that in the oven, though? Well, that's a good call. You need a big outdoor barbecue or pizza oven or something. Maybe you just use a portion. Baby pterodactyl. Baby pterodactyl. Tender. Lamb pterodactyl.

I feel like pterodactyls would be a bit sinewy. Yeah, that's why you've got to cook them for a long time. It might be a slow cooker. Long, slow. Number four on the list of the top six extinct animal recipes I'd like to try if they're on the table, dodo dumplings. Oh, yeah. The dodo.

I don't know if they tasted good. I just knew they were really stupid, so they just walk into traps and be like, what's this over here? I feel like they look like they would taste yum. Yeah, dumpy little... Breasts and big ass. Yeah. Dumpy little walkers, weren't they? They didn't fly. Arnhem, the three on the list of the top six extinct animal recipes

are passenger pigeon pasta. What's a passenger pigeon? It was this pigeon and there was, it's like a really well-documented extinction of an animal that there were millions of. Wow. But they were easy to catch and, yeah, people would catch them in the tens of thousands of nets and stuff.

And America ate them. And they just ate them to extinction. There's none left now. Let's do that with these pigeons that are all around our parks. No, I don't want to eat them. No, I'm not saying we eat them, but someone can. Someone can. Or just put them in a landfill. Just get rid of them.

I hate them. Put them in a landfill. I hate them so much. It's a waste. Yuck. Number two on the list of the top six extinct animal recipes if we're allowed to try them, Tasmanian tiger tacos. Oh, yeah. Imagine Tasmanian

tiger taco Tuesday. Yum. Would it be a pulled Tasmanian? You've got to pull. Yeah, you've got to pull. Okay, so slow cooking pulled. Or, you know, small slices. Oh, yeah. Like a sashimi. Not because it'll be cooked. A sashimi Like a sashimi. Not because it'll be cooked.

A sashimi. Sashimi. Sashimi. You say sashimi. I say tsunami. I say tsunami. You say sashimi. And number one on the list, there's mammoths

that gave us those meatballs. There's a lot more meat on a mammoth. I would like to whip up some of mum's famous, mum's mammoth meatloaf. Oh, your mum does a lot of meatloaf. Although, famously, you told her it was dry, didn't you? A bit dry needs more sauce. More sauce. Well, the sauce isn't the problem, it's just, it cooks for

too long, I think. Yeah, right. Crockpot all day for mince? I don't think it's needed. Not needed. No, it's already tender. It's a long time for the mince to be in there. Better say substance. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Yummy, yummy, yummy. In my tummy. It's so rich and good.

Today, yummy, yummy, we take a look at new food items, new flavours, new trends. And today this comes to us from producer Jared, who loves a chuddy. I love a bit of chuddy. Do you? Do you love chuddy? I'm trying to think the last time I had chewing gum. You used to be a big chuddy guy. I used to be, yeah.

So was Aaron. Chew a lot of chuddy. Yeah, Aaron was big and now we're mints. Oh, like eclipse or something. Now I don't even do those. But are you aware when he went Aaron a chuddy guy because he was trying to give up the durries? No. People who love durries love chuddy. Yeah, yeah. hearing Aaron a chatty guy because he's trying to give up the durries? No. People who love durries love chatty.

Yeah, yeah. He wasn't easy. He was a durry lad. I never did durries. No, you just did chatty. He never did the durries. I never did durries. I never did do them.

I never did do the durries. But, Producer Jared, this is a flavour of extra. We've been told, we've been given a piece each. Yep. And you've said, don't smell it. It's quite a potent smell. Now I'm just going to have a little peek.

It's yellow. I can see the yellow through the wax paper. I sniffed it. I know what it is. I have an absolute hatred of anything artificially banana. So if this is banana.

It's not banana. It's not. Okay. What is that? I'm not going to. Ugh. I just got a whiff. It smells like vomit. Oh's not, okay. What is that? I'm not going to... Ugh! I just got a whiff. It smells like vomit.

Oh, it's pineapple. Is that pineapple? I hate pineapple as much as I hate banana. All right, it's pineapple and coconut. It's not pina colada. It's pina colada. Missing a bit of rum. I really thought you guys would froth it.

Oh, this is feral. The thing with the mint is it's still got mintiness in it. Yeah. Ew. No, that's a no from me. Why did you think we'd froth this? We're classy people. I bought it because I saw it and I was like,

that's weird, that's new. I'm going to try it because I think it's going to be yuck. But then I tried it and I was like, ooh, yum. You like it. I'm a big fan. Yeah, but you eat V. I'm a Red Bull man. Thank you very much.

Oh, you're a Red Bull boy. He lives on energy drinks. Yeah, you do. What do you do now that you can't have your daily Le Snack? I've bought the, there's like a Le Snack equivalent, but instead of liquid cheese, it's peanut butter. So I've been getting those. Oh, that's not as good, is it?

No, it's not as good. It's really yuck, but I can't stop. I just can't do artificial fruit flavours for some reason. Well, you've been quiet. I've been very quiet since I put it in my mouth. Don't you swallow that. It'll take seven years. Remember that?

Do kids still say that? I'm out. Kids still say my kids said it the other day. What? That it'll take seven years? My cousin was chewing gum that I don't swallow. It'll take seven years. I'm like, My kids said it the other day. What? That it would take seven years? My cousin was chewing gum that I don't swallow. It would take seven years. I'm like, it's not true.

No, it doesn't. How long does it take? A couple of days? Like kids when you say, if you swallow the apple core, your trees will grow in your stomach. A tree will grow in your stomach. Oh, my God. I used to cry at night. Yeah.

A seed went down. Okay, just Googled. Folklore suggests that swallowed gum sits in your stomach for seven years. Why is it worldwide? This is an American website. It travelled across the seas. How did this start? Misinformation travels fast.

But this is misinformation pre-internet. What does that say? Winston Churchill say a lie has travelled halfway around the world before the truth's even put its pants on in the morning. Wow, that's a beautiful saying. He had some sayings, didn't he? He did, he had some things. Well, it's not true as if you needed to be told. If you swallow gum, your body he? He did. He had some things. Well, it's not true, as if you needed

to be told. If you swallow gum, your body can't digest it. The gum does not stay in your stomach, so it'll exit. Poopy is true. I don't like gum, so I don't know if I don't like this just because I don't like gum or I don't like this because it's weird flavour. I like pineapple flavoured things.

Pineapple lumps. Gum has to be like, this would be like if they made a pina colada mouthwash. It's got to be minty or refreshing. Tell me more about the pina colada mouthwash. I knew you'd like that. Or a yellow, what are you, pink plaques? Pink plaques boy. You're a pink plaques-er.

Brown listy all the way. Ooh, not brown listy. Brown listy. You shouldn't be punished for mouthwashing. You should be rewarded, and the reward is the listerine. Brown listerine. You shouldn't be punished for mouthwash. You shouldn't be rewarded and the reward is the plaques itself. Oh.

Delicious pink plaques. No. It's got to be a blue, green or a purple. I didn't like that. Does it? Brown listerine looks like piss.

It does. It does. It looks like one of those dehydrated pisses you take. Yeah, oh my God. Oh my God. When was the last time I drank water?

Jesus, that was a big weekend. Yeah, and that's what that brown Listerine looks like. Liver failure. Well, it seems every single day there is some kind of weird, disturbing news about AI and chat GTP. It does feel like it's, we've talked about it every day. Yeah. Yeah.

It feels like the end of the world as we know it. It's the end. And you would think being at the social media desk that Shanalette Pajamas would, nothing would surprise her on social media. She'd be prepared for anything. It's her job, isn't it? Yeah.

It is. However, yesterday, Shanalette, something disturbing happened. Yeah, I went onto Snapchat and the top chat was called My AI and there's a little pink person with white hair and they said, hey, I'm your virtual assistant. Do you want to chat? So I was a bit freaked out,

but I've been chatting to them this morning to do some digging and I've asked them about, you know, what is ZM and all this and it knows everything. I asked them, who is Hayley Sproul? Told me everything you've been a part of talking about

the International Comedy Festival. Oh my God, like feel free to reel it off. Wait, so this is like an AI thing? Oh my God, how embarrassing. Like what? What did it say? Like what?

It said you were really hot. Yeah, right. Did it mention the awards? The awards? Yeah. Oh my God, are you kidding me? Comedy Festival Awards, TV Awards, Radio Awards.

Yeah. That's crazy. But it acts as if it's a friend in Snapchat. Like it comes up along your contacts. I even said, what is ZM's next flight? Because obviously this morning is our last next flight.

It said, sorry, as a virtual friend, I don't have access to information about ZM's flight schedule. ZM is a radio station that broadcasts music and does not operate flight. What if you said competition or promotion? Oh, keep on digging. Yeah, keep on digging. That's pretty amazing, isn't it? So you can ask it anything.

And it's just, the thing that weirds me out is that it acts as if it's your friend. It's put itself in its top position on your chats. Now, is this just on Snapchat? I don't have this. But this is going to be, this is what every app is going to be like, right? Like we're going to have an AI kind of assistant

with Messenger and Instagram and everything, right? And even Carwin and I were talking about it before. My little AI person is pink, but Carwin's is blue. Oh my God, they've curated them to you? Yeah. Or is it because you're a girl and Carwin's a boy? Carwin, are you a boy? Every day, hey, there's a story.

Because, you know, if you go on like a basic website that's like maybe you're buying clothes or like booking something, they've always got chatbots, but they're so basic. Oh, they're dumb, eh? And they only have like the key sentences of like frequently asked questions. You can't chat. Whereas now they're getting more smarter,

aren't they? More smarter. They are getting more smarter than you. I can't wait to learn the most smartest. I'm version one chatbot. Yeah, more smarter. Yeah, I don't have the full AI yet. You're old school. Yeah, I've got the old English.

Whereas like... Ye olde English. Yeah, I'm ye olde chatbot. They're smart. They know us. They're getting to know things. I don't like it. Why are we letting this happen?

It's going to take so many jobs. We don't need it, right? But it's going to save companies money. That's why. Because it's going to take jobs away. Luckily not entertainment jobs. Thank God they'll never be able to have the same unique sense of humour that I was born with. No, this company could literally download all of your voice and upload it when AI gets good enough

and then just say, do a break about this. Do I get royalties on my voice? No. They'll just get a computer voice. Now, Karwin's just said that she asked the AI bot out on a date. Oh, what did it say?

Well, I said, hey gal, and it said, hey there, how's it going? I said, should we go to brunch this weekend to see if it would like act like a person it's like absolutely do you have any

place in mind see I think this is just some crazy dude who's messaged you both who's just answering these questions and googling it and now you've

accidentally asked him on a date so he's entrapped you and now you're in a relationship with him and he's gonna be like oh you know what would be funny

if you send me photos of your feet haha how may I how may I and then you turn in a relationship with him and he's going to be like, oh, you know what would be funny? If you send me photos of your feet. Ha ha, I'm AI. I'm AI. I'm AI. And then you turn into one of those episodes of those true murder podcasts you love so much. Oh my God. I can't wait to listen.

Someone just messaged in saying they asked the Snapchat AI bot to do their homework last night and it did a pretty good job. What? They had an assignment due and so they just asked a series of questions and it did the job.

How are you going to know if you're a teacher, how are you going to know like everyone is going to be cheating now, right? Everyone. This is Freaky Deaky. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. More financial pain on the way.

The reserve bank is rising. The stock market inflation has pushed the reserve. Cost of living. Cost of living crisis. And the recession is inevitable. The official Fletchbourne and Hayley hot cross bun index. All right. Man, I love hot cross buns.

Same. I haven't had one yet. And I feel like maybe, maybe this weekend. Oh, okay. Yeah, we're going to a little market on Sunday. Yeah, there'll be some at the market. I reckon. Well, yesterday, North Island, you had your turn.

You let us know where the best hot cross buns are. Correctamundo. And Shanalette Pajamas at the social media desk put this on Instagram, said let us know. People messaged in some spots, so we'll go through those first. And yesterday, I did give her the feedback that she hadn't done it north to south, and today, we've got a North to South. Oh, do you know what? She takes on feedback so well. She does, yeah.

Especially when it screamed at her from about a quarter away. Saliva-heavy screaming. And then when you've got, I think there was a finger in her face. Yeah, but it was one of those points that was almost angled up. Yes. Like I'm threatening up. She does take that feedback on. Yeah. Wow. That's because she used to work with Tony Street.

That's right. She's used to people like you, you TV types. Yes. Because you told her, don't look me directly in the eye ever. Yeah, I know. And she always looks down. Don't look away. She's literally looking me in the eye right now.

I'm about to flip this fricking table. Look at me. Don't look me in the eye. Do not look away from me. Okay, so these are some suggestions. Carrie suggested Grizzly Baked Goods in Christchurch. What a great name for a Grizzly Baked Goods in Christchurch. What a great name for a Grizzly Baked Goods. Also in Christchurch, the Bohemian Bakery was recommended by Annie.

Yeah. And Copenhagen Bakery by Jenny, Mel and Jack. Okay. So that's got three people's typical approval. Good. Lincoln, Trish recommends the Rustic Bakery. Okay. Darfield, Darfield. This is famous for the pies, isn't it? Famous for the pies, the Rustic Bakery. Darfield, Darfield.

This is famous for the pies, isn't it? Famous for the pies, the Darfield Bakery, recommended by Taylor and Nicole. Now, here's a big one. You Bake in Timaru was recommended by Lucy, Pat, Tash, Lee, Bree, Belinda, Lauren, Alex, Sam, Maddie, and literally so, so many more. YouBake and Timaru. Okay, so nearly 300 Google reviews.

They're rocking a 4.8. That's amazing up to 300 Google reviews. That's good. These are award-winning hot cross buns. Beautifully fresh, soft, fruity, and delicious. Is your mouth watering already? Satisfy your hunger today. Yeah, they look good.

They look plump and nice and glossy. Oh, yeah, take me to Timaru. They've got a good caramel slice too, by the way. What does a six-pack of those cost you? Price on the website there? Well, it says $10, but surely that's not for six. Oh, for an artisan. It must be each, yeah.

For an artisan, handmade, bespoke. We have a review from Jared Chin. Sweet, fulfilling, glistening, and best served slathered in butter. Without a doubt, the You Bake Hot Cross Buns tick all the boxes. Okay, U-Bake has got many votes. Jen said the Pembroke Patisserie in Wanaka. Em and Julie said Ferg's Bakery in Queenstown. I'm there tomorrow.

I'm there tomorrow. Fergie, Fergie, Fergie, Fergie, Fergie, Fergie. Oh, my God, I'm going to eat all the Fergie. I love the Ferg's pies too. Yeah. Oh, so good. And the burgers next door. It's the one-stop shop. And the cocktail bar. That guy's printing's pies too. Yeah. Oh, so good. And the burgers next door. It's the one-stop shop.

And the cocktail bar. That guy's printing money, right? Yeah. Surely. The lines at that burger place. Who is Ferg? Yeah, who is? Who is Ferg?

Blue L six-part podcast series. Where we delve into finding who is Ferg. Rhiannon said Cydon and Dunedin. Sarah said Bakers Beyond and Invercargill and Carmel said Oven Fresh and Gore. Gore. Cure the gore. Gore. Okay, let's go to the text machine. And Nelson. Yes, we did miss Nelson, but that's because nobody

sent him in. Yeah. In our North to South Instagram Tahuna Breakfast Club. Oh. TBC and Nelson. Best hot cross bun. Oh. Okay. Rolleston Bakery. Delicious. So fresh and warm when you buy them. So fresh and so clever.

Oh, and the warm when you buy. Could you take some to, if you were visiting your friend in prison? Yeah. Rolleston prison. Would they let one in? They'd have to give it a wand over. You need to hide all sorts of other things.

A phone in there. They'd have to give it a hot wand. Like an iPhone 14. all sorts of other things. A phone in there. They'd have to give it a hot wand. Like an iPhone 14? Yeah, iPhone 14 and your hot cross bun. It'd be quite a long hot cross bun. You'd need a six pack of hot cross buns. You'd be better to hide a phone in like one of those long, like a Sally Lunn bun. A lady finger. A lady finger. A cream donut.

A cream donut, yes. Good morning. Good morning. Best hot cross buns are from Alexandra Bakery. Sandra makes the best hot cross buns. Sandra from Alexandra. Sandra from Alexandra. It rhymes. That's cute.

You bet. Let me go back in. Sorry, was that just a little bit of dribble we had? Michael's Bakery in Hillmorton. Oh, yeah. I'll tell you what, the Texamshan is rocking you back recommendations as well. Oh. This, yeah.

We need to travel our tushies down to Timaru. We need to get down there for a little looksy looksy. A European bakery in Queenstown, apparently pretty bloody good. Okay.

The Europeans know they're baked goods, don't they? Well, then you've got two bakeries to go to in Queenstown. Of course, buns I can get. Down for your comedy show.

Yeah. You want to plug that again? Oh, yeah, Sky City tomorrow night Me, Paul Douglas, Justine Smith We are doing comedy Do they still do that $5 token in the back of the Remember the sins? They used to be these books

Every time we went to Queenstown we'd get this $5 coupon Oh your coupon The book about everything you can do in Queenstown It used to be in one of those little steel cages Straight on red and black So you go straight and you just spend your $5 And then we'd just leave Tear down the book about everything you can do in Queensland. It used to be in one of those little steel cages outside the... Straight on red and black. So you go straight and you just spend your five bucks there. And then we'd just leave, yeah.

Okay, I'll do it. I don't know if they still do that. I don't know if they still do the book. Oh, God, those were the days. Yeah, and you'd go into Cashland and you'd be like, Hello, have you been in before? No, I don't know what you're talking about. No, I haven't.

No. Hit us another five on red. Spelt Bakery in Dunedin. Spelt Bakery in Dunedin. Spelt Bakery in Dunedin. Okay. Just coming in on the text machine there too. Nada Bakery. No.

Sorry. Someone tried to sneak in a North Island recommendation on the South Island days. That is done. How dare they? It's your day. At least don't do that. Your day was yesterday. Not your day.

This is why you can't miss a single day of Fletchford and Hayley on ZM where we laugh out louder. Literally six days a week. Yeah, if you do, grab the podcast on iHeartRadio, Spotify or wherever you podcast. Boys, I am watching Radio Magic. Wait, wait, wait. I've got another thing to say. And we're on social medias. Thank you.

F-E-H-Z-M. We're on Facebook. We're on TikTok. We're on Instagram. We're on Be Real. We're on Facebook. We're on TikTok. We're on Instagram. We're on Be Real. We're on MySpace. Yeah. We're on Trade Me Classified.

We're on Old Friends. Old Friends. We're on Ancestry.com. Yes, we are. Are we related? Who knows? Go to F-E-H-Z-M. Ancestry.com.

Play. Zedim's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Who knows? Go to FBHZM.com. The drama continues. Now, we talked earlier in the week, I believe, about Harry Styles poorly pashing Emily Ratajkowski. Bad kisser. Terrible kisser. Embarrassing. Let me show you how it's done. And then I kiss Harry. Yeah, yeah.

Because it's no use kissing her. I'm going to teach him. Yes, exactly. Yeah, yeah. And what would you want to do? Why would I want to kiss her? Emily Ratajkowski. Yeah. I've got a wife. You'd do your mouth breathing thing, wouldn't you? What? Mouth breathing thing you're always talking about.

Oh, yeah. I'd fill her up. Oh, my God. me and Aaron do it. You get a good seal and then you go and you fill them up with your ear. Or doing a fart, give me a kiss. I promise you if I ever get to curse Emily Ratajkowski, I will fill her up.

Speaking of... I'll puff her up. Speaking of... If I ever... If something... Sade's going to leave me one day and let's just say through some weird I'll puff her up. Speaking of that. If I ever, if I ever, like if something, Sade's going to leave me one day, let's just say through some weird stroke of random, like, clarity. Oh, sorry.

Like anybody, like some, you know, her clarity, and then through some random mistake from some extremely hot model, I end up kissing, I promise I'll go, the first time I do it. The first time. I promise, I swear. swear like woo her like dates yeah conversation we're really connecting yeah chade leaves me i come to work i'm crying i tell you guys about it vanessa hudgens is in the country she contacts me she's like it's a chance i've been waiting for i'm like great and then we go out we have a lovely meal and then she's like, let's have a smirch, and I'm smirching. I go, pfft.

And then I'll be like, I'm sorry, I said I'd do it. And you know what? That's on TMZ because it was in a public, next to a van. Yes! And then the video and the caption is why does Vanessa Hudgens kiss like a chipmunk? Well, the drama continues because we all saw the video with Harry Styles kissing. Well, the drama continues because we all saw the

video with Harry Styles kissing. Now, obviously Olivia Wilde, right? Actress Olivia Wilde. She was with Harry Styles for quite some time. Her and Olivia Wilde and, sorry, Olivia Wilde and Emily Ratajkowski are friends. Were friends? A little bit because

apparently she feels completely betrayed and now Emily Ratajkowski is quote, according to a source close to the woman herself, is begging for forgiveness. Because she's kissing her ex. You can't do that. Especially in public. They weren't even hiding it. No, and you're famous, and everyone's going to see it,

and everyone's going to talk about it. It's humiliating for Olivia Wilde. Anyway, we thought we'd get some juicy stories of maybe when you hooked up with your friend's ex. Because we've all done it. Yes. We've all had a little hoon on your friend's sloppy seconds. Have we?

I don't think I have. I don't think I have. I have. Yeah, I have. Did you tell your friend? Yeah. Yeah. How did the friend take it?

She was like, yeah, gross. Gross? I mean, she's obviously not with him for a reason, right? Yeah, this was like years ago as well. Like many, many, many years ago. I feel like. It's kind of okay. As well, people are okay with it if it was their decision to break up and they're like,

they've moved on. Yeah. But if they're the ones broken up with, if your friend is the one broken up with, and they still have feelings, and then you hook up with their ex, that's trouble. Real trouble. That's trouble. And it also depends on how long that friend was with that person for. Like, if it was just a kind of casual thing, sure, why not?

If it was like three months, eh, sure. But if it was like three years, maybe not. Maybe not. So that's what we want to know. Give us a call, 0800- ZDM. Text as well. 9696. Have you hooked up with a friend's ex? We are looking for some juicy stories because Olivia Wilde, obviously very upset that Emily

Radicalaski has hooked up with Harry Styles. Very publicly and poorly. Very poorly. But we wanted to know when you have hooked up or slept with or got together with your friend's ex. No surprises. There are many text messages. No shortage. No surprise.

No shortage. My ex and my groomsman got together within a month of our six-year marriage end link. Totally nothing. God, Dodgy, going on there, of course. Cross over. Better cross over. Huge cross pollination. They'll always deny it, but it's there.

It's called monkey barring. Yes. Because you've got one hand on... On the next bar before you let go of the last. Otherwise you break your arm. Yeah, because you fall. Because it's 1997. What about if I'm lying on all the bars?

That's called planking. Now, that was a very cool trend online a while ago. I've been trying to bring it back. So cool. Alright, you devilish folks. What else have you been up to? We're in a group of friends but he's now my husband.

We never talk to my ex again. Some things are just meant to be. So there you go. There you go. That's from the other side of the fence. That's their side, isn't it? Well, the goss is pouring in of when you have hooked up with your ex because Olivia Wilde's not happy with Emily Ratajkowski because she kissed Harry Styles and there's beef in Hollywood again.

I mean, can you blame them? What, for all hooking up? I'm going to put it out there, the three of them should get together. Now that, I said it. Yeah, Rose, when did you hook up with a friend's ex? I got into a relationship

with him probably like November last year, and we're still together now, and I, my friends that we went to high school together, they went out towards the end of high school, and that was over 10 years ago now. Oh, now you're alright. You're in the clear. There's been a cooling period.

Statute of limitations. Squatters' rights. Did she care at all? Yep. I put a photo up from the weekend just saying actually and then a couple of days ago she commented on it and said, I'm not interested in seeing this and unfriended me.

Get over it. Let it go. It's been 12 years. Yeah, to anyone wanting to date Benjamin, who I dated when I was 16, back off. Yeah, I was going to say hands off. But you already have a fiancé now. Yeah, he's married and he's got three kids.

It's fine. Rose thinks you're cool. Let's go to Alicia. Alicia. Alicia. Alicia. Alicia. Alicia. Sometimes I think it sounds posh when you say Alicia. Alicia.

Now, did you hook up with a friend's ex? Well, first of all, I'm a first-time caller, a long-time listener. There we go. Welcome, welcome. There's the bell. There's the bell. What happened? I lived in Perth, Western Australia.

I was in my 20s. My sister had this hot-looking Italian stallion, they called him. Oh, I thought one of those. Did he have a rad Italian name? Angelo. Angelo. Yeah, of course he did. It's me, Angelo.

Bonjour. Bonjour. Bonjour. Okay. My sister, he liked me, but he went through my sister to get to me. Yeah. But she finished with him, and then we hooked up. Oh, your sister. When you say finished with him, like, did they go out for a while?

Oh, probably about a month, but they didn't do anything. They'd only kiss. So that was it. It didn't go all the way. No. Any woman not to kiss Angelo. With his cigarette and his Vespa. Did he have a Vespa?

No, he had a Fiat. Yay! Of course. Of course. Fantastic. Alicia, thank you. Let's finish course. Of course. Fantastic. Alicia, thank you. Let's finish up with Tess. Grazie, grazie.

Grazie, grazie. Tess, when did you hook up with an ex? Oh, God. I didn't hook up with an ex. Yeah. But I am, I don't know how to explain it anyway. No judgment here. Don't.

Tess, there's no judgment here. There's no judgment here. You say the facts. So basically, basically, I was with my ex for about eight years and he was a bit of a criminal. Yeah, boy, like naughty. He was naughty, all right, and he ended up going to prison. Oh, very naughty.

Really naughty, really naughty. And I just got a new Motorola phone and I didn't know how to get it onto the Wi-Fi. So I texted his best friend, and I said, can you help me hook my phone up, blah, blah, blah. Ended up going around there, getting my phone hooked up, and we've been married now for 12 years. I left my wife.

Is he a crim as well? Is he a crim? Is he in prison? No, no. I ended up going to the prison on my next visit, breaking up with my then ex for his best friend while locked up. Wait, you were still going out with the guy when he was in prison? I was.

Yeah, well, when are you supposed to dump them? It's very awkward once they get taken away. And also, like, if you're... I'm going for a prison date and everything. If you're dating his best friend, what's he going to do about it? How long when he gets out? You're in jail. Yeah, how long was he in for?

Like, did he ever get... Yeah, oh, look, he showed up about six months later. It wasn't great, but hey, look, life goes on, right? And you're married. You're happily married, Tess. I love that. I've got a baby. And I love my husband.

Love him. Oh, it's all worked out, hasn't it? I wouldn't have him without my ex, though. Yeah, exactly. And a Motorola that was hard to connect to the Wi-Fi. Yeah. Does your now husband still have to put up with your punishing text request? Always.

Yeah. Print is not working, Dale. Print is not working. Print on that bloody Wi-Fi. It's out of it. Oh, my God. I bet you can connect to the AV channel as well. HDMI a couple of times.

HDMI. Oh, good, good, Tess. Okay, thank you, Tess. Thanks, Tess. Any messages to finish up there, Vorno? Started dating my friend's ex. That text disappeared. I'm polyamorous.

No need to waste it. They use a different term. Oh, wow. No need to waste good something just because he's a bad match for one of us. Reduce, reuse, recycle. Now, polyamorous, that's very flammable, isn't it?

Very flammable. Yeah, yeah. You don't want to wear it near an open flame. Okay, right. You're just absolutely set ablaze. It's a multi-sided, it's a multi-sided, very flammable relationship. Yeah. Okay, right. You just have to sit and play. It's a multi-sided, very flammable relationship.

Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch for the nightly. Play ZM. It's time to get the flight out of here. ZM's next flight. Thanks to Grab a Seat.

This is our last flight. Our sixth flight. He's always struggling. He struggled with fifth. Next flight, thanks to Grab a Seat. This is our last flight, our sixth. He's always struggling. He's struggling with fifth. Fifth, sixth. It's our flight number six, our last flight. Our last flight out of here for next flight. Now, it's all thanks to Grab a Seat.

Grab life by the seat. Check out grabaseat.co.nz for amazing deals on flights now. And in studio with us are our final last next flight winners. The last of the next flight winners, Benjamin and Sophia. Good morning. He's just Ben. He rolled his eyes. He doesn't even call him Ben. Oh, you know, you're not in trouble. Ben will do.

It's on your passport and you've got that packed. Okay. Benjamin. And Sophia, you've got a passport despite the fact that you have never been overseas. Yep, sure do. It's got some chew marks from the dog on it too. Oh, there you go. Oh, okay.

It's a little bit used. Cow chewed. Cow chewed because they don't. They do chew. That would have sent a shiver down. It's just on the cover. Okay, I think we're good as long as that. We'll check that.

We better check that. You've never been overseas, but how long have you had a passport for? Maybe two or three years. Okay. Okay, so did you plan to go somewhere? You were like, I'm definitely going to go somewhere one day. Yeah, yeah. I thought I was going to go to the UK, but that didn't happen, so.

COVID. Yeah, COVID. I remember that. Thank God that's over. It's done, right? It's definitely not a surge in numbers again. Yeah. What numbers?

Now, we have been looking up this morning the weather in your destination of choice. Vaughan has picked this as his favourite destination out of all the six flights. We've had Sydney, Fiji, Melbourne. Tokyo. Tokyo. Los Angeles. Los Angeles. And this is our final one. I would say our warmest destination. Tokyo. Los Angeles. Los Angeles. And this is our final one.

I would say our warmest destination. Our warmest destination. Our warmest destination. What have you packed for? Have you packed cold? No, packed warm. Yes! I love that.

I just put it all on black. I mean, one of the coldest days of the year so far and you're both in shorts. Yeah. You're ready to go. I'm always in shorts. Is it like a mastodon thing? Yeah, I think it is. Yeah.

It's like a rural regional New Zealand thing. Lots of shorts. All around. Okay, well, we're going to come back next and find out where you're going. I'm going to tell you your next flight destination and then you will be straight to the airport and on this flight.

Is there anywhere you would want to go? Hawaii. Hawaii. Okay. Jesus, you don't ask much, do you? Any others on the list? Florida.

Yeah. That'd be cool. Yeah, New York. Universal Studios. Yeah, good. Yeah. All right. But they're a bit far.

They're quite far away. Yeah. Okay. Florida, not an Air far. They're quite far away. Yeah. Okay. Florida, not an Air New Zealand destination. Not direct anyway. No. Todonga is, though, eh? Todonga is.

Yep. Yep. Okay. Yep. So is Invercargill. Direct flights from Auckland. Yeah, there is. Okay, we're going to come back next and find out where you...

I felt like we needed to bring them back down to Earth there. Yeah. We'll find out where you're going next. It's time to get the flight out of here. ZM's next flight, thanks to Grab a Seat. And it's our last flight that we have to give away, thanks to Grab a Seat. Grab life by the seat.

Check out grabaseat.co.nz for amazing deals on flights right now. Yes, Ben and Sophia are packed and ready to go. Don't know where you're going yet. Nope. They have some lofty dreams. Why have you got a little stuffed toy with you? This is Dobby. Dobby the house out there.

I'm a Harry Potter fan. I wanted to give him a sock, but I'm not wearing socks. I don't know what that means. Master, give Dobby a sock! Me and Fletch aren't Harry Potter people. Yeah, I've never seen a Harry Potter. You haven't? No.

You need to. So is Dobby going to come with you on holiday? Yeah, Dobby's our mascot, and we're going to take photos of him in all the places we go to show my daughter. That's cute. So, yeah. Thought it'd be fun. Looks like he needs a rinse, like a run through the washing machine.

Probably. He's seen better days. It's been around a while. He's two years old, so. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

Well, in front of you is a suitcase with some clues as to where you're going. I think it'll probably give it away quite quickly, but would you like to open up the suitcase and find out the next flight that you're on, the destination? Go on, Ben. Yeah. Go for it. Use your long arms. Use your long arms. Use your long arms.

What do you see? I'm seeing shells, a lei, pineapple sunglasses. Oh, it's looking like Fiji, isn't it? Yeah. Where did you say you wanted to go? Hawaii. Let's find out. Settings. Next's find out. Settings.

Next flight destination confirmed. Get ready. Get set. Your location will be... Hawaii. Yes. You called it. You called it. You called it. We called it.

A delayed confetti cannon. And then the confetti cannon falls well short of the celebrants. Yeah. Carween's confetti cannon didn't even work. That was anticlimactic. Weak arms, weak triceps. High temperatures this week of 27 and 28 degrees. Oh, thank God. Overnight lows. Oh, it's going to be hard, guys. weak triceps high temperatures this week of 27 and 28 degrees oh thank god

overnight lows oh it's gonna be hard guys an overnight low of 22 each night wow I really feel like I feel like people

are gonna listen and go oh they said they wanted to go to Hawaii they must have known no

no no so we've got you staying at the Outrigger Waikiki Beach Resort so you'll be right on the beach

Waikiki oh dude Cheesecake Factory yeah Cheesecake Factory. Yeah, Cheesecake Factory. Really? Have you been overseas, Ben? Yeah, I laid over in Hawaii because the plane had,

we were flying out of LA and the brakes failed. Oh, you don't want that. What's that? You don't want that. No, it stopped. Did you get to explore or did you just...

Not really, no. It was just like, kind of like a... Cheesecake Factory. No, it's stopped. Did you get to explore or did you just... Not really, no. It was just like kind of like a... Cheesecake factory. Okay. There's so many great... It's amazing. There's so many great things to do. Yeah, there is, but the cheesecake factory.

It should be top of the list. Go to Hawaii and go to the cheesecake. We've got one of those in Palmy. No, no, no. No, no, no. No, don't go. You've got a cheesecake shop. Yeah, not the factory.

The cheesecake factory has more than cheesecakes. It has. It's menu is 50 pages long. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. And they'll say, are you ready to order? You're like, no, I'm on page four. I'm in need of it.

I'm so jealous. Check it out. Yeah, amazing, amazing beaches as well. And the North Shore of Hawaii where they film like Jurassic Park and Lost. It's beautiful. Yeah, but the Cheesecake Factory. But also the Cheesecake Factory. Yeah, we'll go there.

Yeah, great shopping as well. The big mall. Oh, yeah, shopping for cheesecakes and burgers and stuff at the Cheesecake Factory. Why are you going to a Cheesecake Factory and to the mall? You're in Hawaii. Is this why you got strep throat in Hawaii?

Cheesecake Factory? No, I had strep throat prior to arrival. The cheesecake. Okay, right. Guys, you're going to have the best time. Have an amazing holiday. Thank you so much. Can't wait.

You're so welcome. All right, the next flight out of here. Congratulations, guys, and thanks to Grab a Seat. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Right. Some backstory. A little while ago, my phone started playing up.

The screen wouldn't work. It'd go, like someone was touching it. And it wasn't being touched. It'd be like, that's dangerous. Because, I mean, what if something gets posted? Yes, exactly. That sort of thing. Oh, my God.

And then when you were trying to touch it, it wouldn't work. Yeah. And I was like, this is weird. And Googled it, and it had all the hallmarks of water damage. Okay. But the iPhone. The iPhone. The iPhone.

The iPhone 12 Pro Max. Oh, wow. He's a big boy. He does all right for himself. He's a big boy. Hello, big boy. Well, if you were doing all right for yourself, you'd have a 14 Pro Max.

Yeah, I've had it for ages. But don't replace it with a flip. Like people do. Like people do. Yeah, like people do. Yeah, like people do. Like flick. Or like Uncle Scrooge does. Uncle Moneybags.

Uncle Moneybags does. So I took it in to be repaired. Because the iPhone, that's supposed to be water resistant. Now this had not been submerged in any water. So you say. You didn't weigh on it? No submerging.

I promised you no submerging. That's why it was a surprise to me and I was like this should be fine because there's been no submerging. I mean this did happen after the Auckland floods. Which, it got rain on it. Right. And that's filming yourself being a hero. That's exactly. That was water resistant. Yeah.

That's not a submerging. So I took it into the shop. Recommended by, because my guys moved. I had an iPhone repair place because I'm famously dropping these things, smashing screens. You went to the hole in the wall guy and that was a disaster. Hole in the wall guy for the iPad. Big disaster. So I went to, my guys were in Penrose and I drove

all the way out there and they'd moved to Whitty. Now, I don't have time to go to Whitty. I don't even know where that is. South. Oh no, thanks. Yeah, far away. So I said, ah, shucks, I've moved and you both said, there's this other place, who at this stage I won't name. But this is where I go.

This is their warning. This is my repair. You've been there. People go there. I've had a couple of things repaired there. Same. Your watch, I picked that up for you. Twice?

And they were really good. So I went in and I said, there's a problem with this iPhone. And they said, oh, yeah, well, we need to send it away. So you need to pay $79 at this stage just to have it sent away. I said, that's fine. I understand that that's the situation. Because it's out of AppleCare. It's out of AppleCare.

Yeah. A month out of AppleCare. But it's still covered by a New Zealand Consumer Guarantees Act, one would imagine. So it got sent away. And then they sent me back a quote saying the screen needs to be replaced. It's $750. What?

To which I was like, that sucks, but... What are you going to do? What am I going to do? You either buy a new phone for like $2,000 or whatever it is.

So I was like, well, that sucks, but that's life. So then I accepted the quote and then just didn't hear anything for ages. Weeks. Weeks. And F So I was like, well, that sucks, but that's life. So then I accepted the quote and then just didn't hear anything for ages. Weeks. Weeks. And Fletch was like,

I need to give my phone to a booty call so I can contact them at any time. He said, I've got a mate. I need to use that phone. He's like, I've got a mate coming to New Zealand and needs to use the phone. He was looking to borrow a phone and I was like

Well I can just sell him mine And you were like I don't know where my phone is So then I rang and I said I don't know where my phone is And they said Oh we'll get back to you And then sent me an email saying

Oh We forgot Basically We forgot Yeah And I was like Okay cool And then I got an email

A couple of days later Saying it's It needs to be sent to Australia And I was like Okay okay, cool. And then I got an email a couple of days later saying it needs to be sent to Australia. And I was like, okay, but what happened to the repair quote that I accepted? They said it needs to be repaired. So it got sent to Australia. So I'm like, see you later, fine. Right.

I guess it's nice knowing you. They'd lost your phone, right? I don't know. So then I missed a call from Sandy with an Australian accent. She's like, hi, Vaughn, Sandy here. So I messaged her back. She calls me and she's like, hi, hi, Vaughn. Sandy here. So I message her back. She calls me and she's like, oh, it's Sandy. I see how to pick.

Yep, okay, cool. How can I help? And she said, well, I need to ask you some questions about your phone. Oh, okay. I was like, this is interesting. A little confrontation. And she said, because there's water damage, but the water damage is where it shouldn't have water damage.

Oh, okay. So I need to know what you use your phone for. Are you a diver? Unless you were going down to get the know what you use your phone for. Are you a diver? Unless you were a sea devil. Are you going down to get the craze out of your craypots? Popping down for some fresh power and just rocking a couple of selfies while I'm down there. Yeah, I've seen them. Or waiting for the crab to go in the craypot and just on Instagram while I'm under the ocean.

I said, no, I'm not. And she said, have you taken a water skiing? And I'm like, me too. I was like, no. This is a prank call. No, have you taken a water skiing? And I'm like, me too. I was like, no. This is a prank call. No, have you taken a water skiing?

I was like, no. And she asked me the series of questions and at the end of it, she's like, okay, cool. You've not exposed it

to any obscene amount of water. Obscene amount of pressure and water at one time. Yeah. So what happens is this falls under the warranty.

It's a manufacturer's fault. So we're just going to replace the whole phone. Oh, fantastic. I said delightful. You, Sandy, what an outcome. Thank you, Sandy. Thank you, Sandy. Because that's what happened with my watch.

As I cracked the screen, they just gave you a new one. Yeah. Yeah. So she said manufacturer's warranty, blah, blah, blah. It'll get sent back to the place. You just go in and pick it up. They'll email when you got it. It's like, cool.

So yesterday or the day before I got an email saying, your phone You just go in and pick it up. They'll email when you got it. It's like, cool. So yesterday or the day before I got an email saying, your phone's in, come and pick it up. So I rock in yesterday and I'm like, hi, I'm here to pick up my phone that's been repaired. And they said, do you have the service number? I said, no, I don't, but my name's Vaughan. And I can find the email with the service number on it. And then there's one iPhone sitting in the in basket

and I can see my name written on it. And I'm like, oh, that's it there. I can see my name written on it and I'm like oh that's it there because it's got my name written on it. She's like what's your service number? I said well my name's Vaughan and I can show you my name's Vaughan and I had my anyway I had to go digging through my email to find my service number and then she turned around and she's like oh here it is. Now that

should have been an indicator. She's turned the gas on a little bit. Am I being gassed up? She's leaned against the oven. So then she said, okay, cool, and here's, you've just got to pay the $750. And I said, oh, but it didn't get repaired. And it's a printout of the exact quote I was sent. Yeah.

And it said repair, phone, screen only, repair, blah, blah, blah. And I said, oh, that quote doesn't make any sense because it's been a replacement. Sandy. Sandy rang me and said it's been a replacement, not a repair. Yes. And she said, oh, okay, well, it's $750. And I said, no, because it's not been repaired.

It's been replaced. And she opened the phone and she said, see, it's a new screen. I said, flip it over. And she flipped it over. It was a brand new phone. I was like, no, this phone's never been out of this box. I said, the whole phone's been replaced as per Sandy's instructions. Yeah, Sandy.

So this quote you've got that I accepted, which I accept I accepted when it was going to be repaired, is no longer in play because it's been replaced. Because Sandy. Because of Sandy. Because Sandy. And she said, do you have Sandy's phone number? I said, well, I've got the number she called from. And we rang it back and it was like, do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do.

So I'm like, oh, okay. She's like, well, you can call the Apple International. And I was like, could you call Apple International? Could you call Sandy? You sent it to Sandy. You must have the details of who you sent it to. Yeah. No.

No. Okay. Okay. So then I rang Apple International and spent 35 to 40 minutes pacing up and down the street. Yeah. Watching kids who I guess there was a strike yesterday, high school kids walk around dressed like I was dressed when I was a high school kid.

Found that very confronting. Full loop. Yeah. Full loop, baggy pants. The bottom of the jeans were frayed because they dragged too low on the ground and they were wet because they walked through a puddle. When it rains. When it rains, you're going to get wet Achilles.

Yeah. Okay, this will be a great time for Planet 8 to make a return. Yes. Planet 8, girl planet. Come on to make a return. Say no more. Come on, Helen Sines. Do the right thing. So then I'm on the phone and this guy's very helpful. He's like, I can't see the conversation you had with the customer representative,

this Sandy that you speak of, but I can see the whole thing here and I can see it has not been repaired. It's been replaced. Oh, beautiful, beautiful. And I said, fantastic. I said, should I pass you to her to explain this? And he said, I don't actually have, because she's a third-party authorized reseller and repairer. I have no jurisdiction here.

And I said, well, can you tell her it's been replaced? And he's like, she can see it's been replaced. I said, yes, she can see it's been replaced, but the quote was for a repair. And he said, that must be frustrating for you. And I said, friend, friend, you've got no idea. And he said, well, I will log a job for this Sandy because I can't see her name, but I can see her ID.

So next time she logs on, it's going to be like top of her priority list to call you once again to give you a number that you give to this person in store that will mean that it proves it's been replaced, not repaired. Where's Sandy? Is she at lunch? Australia. She might have been on shift. And there's some Apple privacy thing where employees can't see what other employees have done

to a certain extent. God, it's going to be frustrating for you if Sandy's holidaying in Uluru. Or if there's been some horrible accident. A skiing accident. Sandy loved it. It's summer. Th knows? A skiing accident. Sandy. At Threadbow. Loved it.

It's summer. I don't know. Threadbow better get snow and winter. A mountain biking accident at Threadbow. Oh, no. At the end of the story, I said, I've just talked to the guy. Sandy's going to call me. But he said, you will be able to see that this was a replacement, not a repair.

And your quote was for a repair, meaning the quote was no longer in play. Yeah. And she looked at me and she said, oh, okay, okay. Sort it. $750. What is her problem? And I said, I understand you're worried at the end of the month you're going to get the bill from Apple because you send it to them

and I pay you and then you pay them. Yeah, yeah. But this isn't what happened anymore. I was like, look on the thing. Look, it's a new phone. It's a replacement. It's a manufacturer's warranty. Yes.

And she was like, right, right, right, right. So are you paying the $750? Oh, my God. If she says $750 one more time, I'm going to flip. Today, or do you want to come back and pay the $750? I said, I don't want to pay the $750. You don't have to pay. It's a replacement. It's a replacement.

It's a replacement and a repair. The quote's not on the replay. What did you do? I left. Oh, yeah. No. Without the phone? I felt the vein that I inherited from my father that runs, I don't know, it must be connected because it both pops up at the same time, and the neck and

the forehead just starting to pulse. And I was like, I guess I'll wait for Sandy to call. And she said, okay. I was like, I'll see you later. It's like when you get someone at a call centre and you just know they don't get it. The systems, you know they don't get. It's almost like when they say, hi there, how can I help you? You're like, you're not going to get it.

And then you call back and the next person knows what they're doing and they fix it. Oh, thank you. Yeah. So wait, where were we at? Where were we at? We left, we got a three and a half minute phone rant. Yeah. Has Sandy called?

Sandy has not called. Because she's in Threepole, I told you. She's had an awful mountain biking accident. And you know, ironically, when she hit the ground, her iPhone was in her pocket. It's broken the screen. But it shouldn't have because of her case. Yeah. So she's going to need a full phone replacement under manufacturer's warranty. God, I hope she's got a better person than you do.

Well, I hope she's got $750 because that's how much it's going to cost. That's how much it's going to cost her, regardless of the fact that it's a manufacturer's replacement. Hayley should feel super bad about recommending this place to you too. Yeah, sorry. But I kept looking at the other people in the store because they were looking, and every time I looked at them, they'd look away. I was like, don't you look at me. You look at me. Give me some support. Join me. Are you

hearing me? Am I going insane? It was one of those moments I had a moment where I was like, I think I've gone insane. This isn't happening. Does she gaslight you? No, no, no. I guess so because I thought maybe this is a dream. Maybe I'm locked up in a mental institute and this is like a manifesto.

And these are the nurses. These are the nurses looking after me. And I'm ranting at them and they're like, yeah, $750. And I'm like, blah. And then I thought maybe it was this moment that made me insane. And I'm going to walk out of the store. The kid I saw in the bag of jeans was me. You're not insane.

It was me at 17. We're talking about it. It's 1999. Calm down, bro. You're not. It was me at 17. We're talking about it. It's 1999. Calm down, bro. Join us tomorrow. We'll find out if Sandy calls back or if Sandy's dead. Come on, Sandy. I play Zed-Ems, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Back to the day, day scientists don't know that fire, as we experience it on Earth, exists anywhere else in the universe. They can't confirm. What about the sun? It's a different fire. It's gases, right? It's a massive incandescent gas. It's a gigantic nuclear furnace.

Okay. It's a massive gas of... So fire here on Earth, of course, needs oxygen to burn. Oh, that makes sense then, doesn't it? So they haven't confirmed its existence anywhere else. They did do a flyover of one of Jupiter's moons that had a volcano. Yes. Now, what is this moon called?

In Io's Tashvar Cantina back in the year 2000. And the volcano moon holds the closest thing to earthly fire in our solar system, but there's no oxygen present, so it can't be. Is it more of a larvary? It's a larva. Right. So if I have a little moon base or a little cute Mars condo. Yes.

Or like a little cabin. Yes. Will I need a smoke alarm? Yes. A fire alarm. Yeah. Just to be safe. Yeah, because you'll need oxygen to breathe inside the condo.

Meaning that there'll be. No, but I'm just going to be in my spaceman suit the whole time. You're going to be in your spaceman suit the whole time. The whole time. The whole time. How are you going to change your diaper? Even on the couch. No, well, there's a flap at the back.

If this is the case the whole time, no. How are you going to deal with this flap at the back? Unless you've got an oxygen tank because in there... No, but I connect to the toilet. I connect to the toilet. Watching a TV and having a smoke Why don't smoke

in a ciggy Yeah but if you're in space you'd be bored Yeah you don't know what it's going to be like on Mars The space curtains could catch fire Yeah anything

and then before you know it Your suit you could fall asleep on your suit and it burns through and then it gets you know a source of oxygen It's the worst

the singe hole You'd go up Goodness I mean it'd be too late for you but it might be okay for other people in the condo

The smoke alarm would go off The sprinklers would happen Yeah I'd say Right Internet Anywhere we go There'll be smoke alarms

Of some description Good Okay well that's good to know Thank you Firestopper So yeah today's fact of the day Is you know Fire

You know Fire is we know it Scientists can't prove it exists Anywhere else in the universe Fact of the day Day Day Day Day it. Scientists can't prove it exists anywhere else in the universe. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. There was a stat yesterday as part of Fact of the Day that 31% of child burns at this American hospital were related to instant noodles.

Yeah. The boiling water. Hot water, hot noodles. Hot noodles, maybe. Then you put it in the microwave, splash something on it, little burns, but, you know, sore burns. Little burns that need a little something or something. And then when we it in the microwave, splash something on it, little burns, but, you know, sore burns. Little burns, they need a little something or something. And then when we were talking about it, a couple of people messaged in.

They had also received instant noodle burns. And at the time we said, put a pin in that for tomorrow's show. Let's do it. And we'll talk about burns or just food injuries. Yes. When you've been injured by food. Innocent two-minute noodles. Any food, though.

So hot. I'll start. Minty. Got my filling. Gotnocent two-minute noodles. Any food, though. So hot. I'll start. Minty. Got my filling. Got your teeth. Hell yeah. I've chipped a lot of teeth on food. Anything sticky.

I've actually chipped, like, right at the back. I've chipped it. I can feel a hole, but I don't know how it happened. That'll be fine. Don't listen to this, okay? I've put you towards my dentist. Yeah. Yeah. The number guy. I've put you towards my dentist. Yeah.

The number one. I know. Yeah, I've got to ring them. But I'm like you now. I'm like, oh, but then it's going to cost money. Welcome to adulthood, guys. Money's gone out the window now. There's a list of reasons. Yeah.

I don't want the condescending chat. Yeah. Because I know that's coming. And I deserve it, but I don't want it and I don't want the cost and then I don't want to have to keep going back because I know it's one of those ones when I go the first time they're going to book me out

I'll say book an hour and at the end of the hour they won't even be scratched the surface Well you literally haven't been in 12 years and you've got a temporary crown still We need to get you to our dentist. We'll get you along. Yeah, we do.

We really do. No, they'll take care of you. Lemon-O-Man Eden, shout out. Good morning. I know they're listening. Nah. Sometimes they turn us down because they think we get a little bit racy.

They think we get a bit racy. They have to get kids in the waiting room, you know, preschool. Yeah. We've got to watch out for that. Yeah, absolutely. Get in a little, get the braces and stuff. But we want to know, yeah,

when you've injured yourself on food. On food. So give us a call. 0800-DARLES-AND-EMERSON, number 969610. Could be a chip, a scratch, a burn, a break. Yep. Maybe you choked on a noodle. Have you ever had a noodle come out your nose?

You're like... Oh, no. People at school could always do that thing where you pull something out your nose and... Yeah. Yeah. Floss yourself, floss your brain. But you wouldn't be able to do it with your stodgy noodle.

Because we learn... Let your stodgy noodle. He'll cook it until it's basically... No structural integrity. No, no, no. They're not individual strands of noodle anymore. He's cooking them until they're like a knot. Yes.

Like a wet rope. Like a wet noodle porridge. Feral boy. Talk about when food has injured you. Mm. Mm-hmm. Oh, some of these are like... I tried to pull the tin lid off a spaghetti by holding on... Talking about when food has injured you. Mm. Mm-hmm. Oh, some of these are like, bleh.

I tried to pull the tin lid off a spaghetti by holding on. Holding on to the edges when I was tearing the lid stayed put and my fingers got severely cut. I didn't even think that these would make, like, ooh, things like that. Yeah, I forgot about the preparing the food because a lot of, you know, a lot of people slice their hand with avocados because they go right through their hand and the avocado. You go like to whack the stone and you just like whack your arteries instead.

Maria, when did food hurt you? Hi. So there's these little packets of olives you can get, and I'm kind of weird. I like to snack on olives. Oh, yum. So, yeah. So I had this little packet of olives and they're pithish. Yep.

So, that means no stone, right? Yeah, no stone. No stone. So, you can get them from, like, have you heard of Reduce to Clear? Yes, yes. Yeah. So, I'd just buy them from there and they're like 50 cents and I'll just give them a snack. And, yeah.

So, I was just eating them and then one day,. And then one day, one of them had a pit. And I didn't realize. Oh, no. And I just so happened to bite down really hard with a tooth that already had a crown. Oh, and it cracked your tooth. Yeah, yeah. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that happened to you.

So those 50 cent olives turned out to be what? $2,000? Yeah. It was expensive. Yeah. Very expensive. And it was already like, I'd only had the crown for a couple of months. Oh dear.

I would have just gone back to the dentist and said, you didn't do a good enough job. That's an ACC claim though, isn't it? Is it? Yeah, accidents. Yeah, they did. I did an ACC claim, and they managed to take some of the price off, which was good. Oh, that's nice.

I hope they wrote to the Mediterranean Olive Council and said, you owe us some money, buddy. We've got an issue. Thank you, Maria. Keep your calls coming in. 9696 to text. When did food injure you? Oh, my God.

We're hearing food injuries. Injuries eating it, preparing it, food related. Because you found a set, two-minute noodles. Caused 31% of pediatric burns. So children's burns. I mean, and adults wouldn't be escaping that. Oh, adults wouldn't be far behind. But we play with other things that are hot too.

Yeah. Whereas kids, you know, they make their own noodles. They like it's something easier than they can make themselves. Have you had a few noodle burn stories coming through? My son burnt his stomach when he spilled boiling water for noodles, missed the bowl and it splashed off the bench and went on his stomach, burnt him. There's lots of noodles ones, but burns ones.

I was four, my grandma made a pot of soup and put a tea towel down on the bench to put the pot on top. She did that after washing my hands. I pulled the tea towel and just pulled the soup all over my chest. I suffered three degree burns and had to have skin grafts. That's not mucking around. That's horrible. Soup.

So hot. When I was two years old, I grabbed a pot of noodles on the stove and they stuck to my arm and mum was pulling them off and it was all just taking my stuff. Stop it. Just funny ones. Let's just do funny ones. Okay, Mike's got a funny one. This is your brother that hurt himself with food, Mike.

Yeah, yeah. So he went out to a certain burger joint. I'm not going to say the brand. It kind of rhymes with Snooker Fuel. Okay. Snooker Fuel, yeah. Quite a large. No idea, mate.

Quite a large burger. And, you know, we get that juicy burger out, you take this really big burger. We wouldn't know because we're loyal to the show's sponsor. We are. We have to use our imaginations. A nice big, big man can take that first big bite. And my brother opens his jaw to get it all in

and dislocates his jaw as he's doing it. He dislocated his jaw eating a burger? He might have tetanus. He dislocated, he started to dislocate and he's taking that first big bite of a burger. Because the burger was so big he had to open his mouth wide. Okay, he's no anaconda. Was this his first time eating a burger?

Like, how do you do that? Well, he likes his food. He just put it that way. He's got a little mouth. He's got a tiny little mouth. Does he have a tiny little mouth, Mike? No, he's six foot five and, you know, just like to shovel it in. Six foot five with a tiny little mouth. Must look very peculiar.

Mike, thank you for your call. Let's go to Jess. Jess, when did food hurt you? I cracked a molar on a piece of bread once. Bread? My dad broke a tooth on a crusty bun. How stale is your bread? A fruit stick.

Oh, very crazy. Those things are hard. I don't like the French loaves. You could almost batter someone to death with one of those. They're like a hard one from pack and save. You just grab it. You could bludgeon somebody with that. Yeah.

They get in there when it's fresh. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's the key, isn't it? I put my molar down the middle into two pieces. Really? Oh, gosh. Was that an ACC thing? No, I was in my teens.

So they, like, one bit just wiggled and came out, and then the other bit a few months later or whatever got wiggly and came out as well because it was part of my first ever date. All because of Christy Frenchlow. That doesn't sound like a dentally recommended way of going about it, too. Just let them wiggle themselves out.

If you're ever going to eat bread, just have a lovely slice of soft ploughmans. Oh, that's right. You've still got to have ploughmans money? Still on big ploughmans money? Yeah, I've got a couple of weeks. Still on the big linseed cash. Okay. Jess, that's right. You've still on Ploughmans money? Still on big Ploughmans money? Yeah, I've got a couple of weeks. Still on the big Lindsay cash. Okay.

Jess, thank you for your call. A couple of messages to finish. I broke a tooth and a half on chocolate chip ice cream. How? Because it'd be a frozen choc chip. So it'd be ice hard.

Oh, right. Somebody did message in when we were talking about how long it's been between my dental trips and you were trying to push me to go to your dentist. Yep. They said tread carefully, Vaughan,

because if you go to her dentist, even if it's a manufacturer's fault under warranty, you'll have to pay $750. I appreciate that. That's good. We've got a call back that we still have not heard. From Sandy. From Sandy.

No word from Sandy. We must. The people want to know. It has to happen by tomorrow. It has to happen. No word from Sandy. I've got the people want to know. It has to happen by tomorrow. It has to happen. No word from Sandy. I got a third degree burn on my chin from a hot tomato on a toasted sandwich falling out and left a big ugly scab for weeks.

Yeah, those things are horrible. Chipped my tooth trying to open a pistachio nut. Still have a temporary crown. 17 years later, yes. Holler at the people with temporary things that they're making last longer. Key word being temporary. Yeah. Oh, I just realised I did the whole show

with my headphones on backwards, so. Well, that means the show's backwards then, isn't it? We're going to have to play this in reverse. Well, should we speak in reverse and hopefully they'll work out the other way? Give us a review. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.