ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Podcast -31st March 2023

Episode Date: March 30, 2023

Fungus among us  Top 6: Bridges  Martin Starr!  Final Rankings: Highlighters  Silly Little Poll!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Thank you, Sam. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Happy Friday. Yes. Don't you happy Friday me, you son of a bitch. What's wrong with you? It's Saturday Eve. Oh, no, it's not. Don't give me that. Well, somebody nearly slept in and didn't make it to work, did they? It's because I'm sleeping in the lounge with no PowerPoints.

So my phone was in the kitchen. The alarm It's because I'm not, I'm sleeping in the lounge with no PowerPoints. So my phone was in the kitchen. The alarm went off. I got up, turned it off, went to the toilet and then I was like, I'm cold. Just got back into bed. Oh no. And went back to sleep. Yeah, quarter past five I woke up and was like,

well, that's not good. I'm usually in the office by then. But you managed to not be, did you? I got here for, what are you talking about? I was here for a good 15 minutes. Were you? 20 minutes, an hour. I think I was an hour and a half with my hair before a spray. An hour and a half. I don't know if that's true.

All I'll say is thank God for the Audi this morning. She moves. I tell you what, because we take the same Northwestern motorway in and I was waiting for an Audi to blow past me. Yeah. And plenty did, but none of them Haley's. Jesus Christ, Audi drivers. Can we just slow down?

I'm just enjoying the quality driving experience of an Audi. One of them was like a 2003 Silver A3, and it was flying. Oh, no, I wasn't breaking any laws. Good. It would be interesting to see, like, ticket by vehicle. Oh, yeah, speeding tickets by vehicle. Yeah, it's very interesting. Because if I was a policeman, I would 100% ticket rich car drivers.

You'd be like Mercedes, Audis, Beamers, just like get them all. 100%, because they'd just be able to afford it. That's because we think we're better than you. Yeah, exactly. Reveal we with my temporary car. In 2020, driven.co.nz, can I just say my preferred? I go on it daily. Auto. Magazine. Vehicular.co.nz. Can I just say my preferred? I go on it daily. Auto.

Magazine. Vehicular. Yes. Outlet. Publication. Number one, the Subaru WRX. 20% of drivers had a violation. So this is the people who drive it with a violation.

Okay. And is this in New Zealand? Or was this worldwide? This was an American insurance company. What equates it to a violation? Speeding. Oh, okay. Or running lights, maybe?

Or just speeding. That is poor behaviour. Who would? No one here. And Audi's not on the list. Oh, no. Lots of American cars. No, because we have respect for the road and for the vehicle and the driving experience.

Yeah. I'm actually working on, I'm trying to work on symbols, you know, like a little hello, a little wave, an Audi wave. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. When you see another Audi. No, there's a Jimny wave. This is my current one. The four rings.

Taking all hands off the wheel. You've got to take both hands off the wheel to do it. It's okay. Four rings. I don't know if that's how it works. Don't get used to that. You'll be back in the Mazda in no time. Don't curse me.

Don't curse me to the Mazda life. The top six is coming up on the show. Yeah, Auckland in line for five. There's five options for the next harbour crossing. Right. And the rest of the country saying, what about me? Yeah, what about me? What about me?

What about me? What about me? So I've got the top six other places that need a bridge. Oh yeah, okay. Lots of places need a bridge. Also on the way there's a fungus among us.

God, is there what? It's a humongous fungus and it's right among us. Is there a humongous fungus among us? Correct among us. We'll delve into this soon but next on the show.

Well, speaking of drivers, one man's worked out a very clever way to pass his driving test. Joining us on the show before 7 o'clock this morning, a guy called Martin Starr. Martin Starr you will 100% recognise. He's been in a tonne of TV shows. Been in everything. At the moment you can see him on TVNZ plus on Tulsa King,

which is from Tyler Sheridan, the same creator as Yellowstone. Now that guy is a very busy man. He's got a thousand shows at the moment. But Martin Starr's on one of those. You recognise him? He's been in Spider-Man. If you watch Silicon Valley, he was in Silicon Valley. You're a big fan, aren't you? He's a big fan. Coincidentally, a lot of the shows You recognise him? He's been in Spider-Man. If you watch Silicon Valley, he was in Silicon Valley. What are you, a big fan

are you? He's a big fan. Coincidentally a lot of the shows I like Martin Star's been in. I don't like Martin Star, I think he's funny. A show has been brought back to life. Yeah, Party Down in 2010 was another show Martin Star was in, which was great and launched the career of a few well

known artists and also had an amazing array of special guests. Right. Who were at the time. Probably due to the fact that Paul Rudd was one of the executive producers. Oh. So he's Paul Rudd. I love a Ruddy.

He runs a little bit of Ruddy. New season on TVNZ Plus of Party Down. And we've got him, Martin Starr, on the show. We got him. Before seven this morning. I guess you could say we've got star guests. Yeah. Yeah, Martin Star.

Yeah, we got some star quality on the show this morning. We do, yeah. We should have done a star-themed show and had Anthony Star. Are they related? Jeffrey Star. A shooting star. A shooting star. A shooting star.

A fault from our star. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A fault in our stars. A. A shooting star. A fault from our star. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A fault in our stars. A fault among the stars. A Ford Telstar. Yes, yeah. Plenty of stars. A starter gun.

Yep. Bang. Boom. Now, there is a man. His name is Mohammed. He is from the United Kingdom, and he is in trouble. Now, he failed his driving license test 14 times. He is from the United Kingdom and he is in trouble. Now, he failed his driving licence test 14 times.

I failed mine once, ironically because I didn't speak enough. Now, that is the only time in my life I've been told that. Because, what, you've got to identify the hazards, right? Yeah, yeah, and I wasn't, like, chatty enough. But then, like, the hazards are not even present when you're doing the thing. But you have to literally name everything. There's a car coming. There's a car coming so I'm just remaining aware of the car driving on the other side just in case it swerves

in front of me and kills me. It's improv. It's improv skills. You should have tapped in some improv skills. There's a cloud on the horizon. Could that mean rain? Could that mean rain? I'm poised with my finger on the wind wiper just in case. Just in case I'm poised with my finger on the wind wiper just in case. Yeah, just in case I'm ready to reduce my speed. I was genuinely shocked.

When I pulled up and the guy said, I'm sorry, that's a fail, I was like, what? He was like, man, you didn't say enough. And I was like, that's crazy, man, because I'd already been driving for years. Anyway, he had failed so many times, he was like, man, I got to find a way to do this. Yeah.

So what he did is he paid an impersonator, 800 pounds, so about $1,500, $1,600, to take the test for him. And he was like, yep, there you go. Here's the money. The guy turned up to do it. And then he got caught because... Oh, right, because they knew...

Yeah, you got to have identification. And they were probably like, oh, here he comes again. Do you reckon this will be number 10? Yeah, yeah. And then, so he's been charged like a lot of money because of this. Right. He's got a fine. He's got a big fine.

Oh, wouldn't you just be like, not today, fool. And then, ta-da, send them away. Nah, he's... Fine as well. Well, you don't want someone like that on the road. He obviously cannot drive Yeah 14 failed attempts

Because every time you fail They give you feedback On why you failed And then you fix it You can literally do it again Like the next day Yeah But he's paid a lot of money

This licence is costing him A lot of money Because he's got this fine Plus he's paid 14 times To do the test Well I can't mean I don't know what it is In the UK

But it's not cheap In New Zealand I don't think driving's his thing. Yeah. Give it up. Oh, he tried twice! Twice he did this! Well, it's £800. You've been paid to achieve something.

This is a detail I missed. He paid an impersonator and the first impersonator failed. Oh my god. And then the second time, yeah, he got caught. This is a comedy of errors. A real comedy of errors. A real comedy of errors. I would say keep him off the road. Yeah.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Remember viruses? Yep. They're still around. Remember bacterial infections? Did you see somebody... Contagious bacterial infections? Somebody died of rabies yesterday. Yeah.

The first time... Which is a... What is rabies? I don't know. Is rabies a virus? It's... So they were a traveller from another country, but it didn't say what country they'd come from

or what continent. Maybe Africa. It's a bit of a thing in Africa, Southeast Asia. Yeah. Monkeys. It's pretty ruthless. Animals most likely spread rabies. Dogs, bats, coyotes, foxes, skunks, and raccoons.

Because I remember reading an article a couple of years ago about a young person who got gnarled by a bat. They got rabies, and they survived. Yeah. If you have the rabies shots. It slows it down. It buys you time. Do I have the rabies shot?

Probably not. Unless you'd know, you'd have to go to a travel doctor. Oh, okay. But how long does that last? Because we got a rabies shot. Yeah, I think they're good. They last a while. You're right.

I might have got it. But it buys you time. Because if you don't have the shots, you're gone, basically. Because the rabies virus was always the virus in, like, the zombie movies. Is it a virus, rabies? Rabies is a preventable viral disease. So do you think of rabies as like red eyes and frothing mouth? So yeah, that's why it's always like the zombie virus was always like a branch off of rabies.

And then, you know, that story got a bit old. So they started changing things. And then The Last of Us, probably the most recent zombie-esque post-apocalyptic. Viral. Blockbuster TV show. That show, if you haven't seen it, just brilliant television. So good, such good acting. It was fungal.

Yeah, that was. The end of humanity was fungal. Remember when I had a fungal foot issue? Yes. Yeah, that was fungal. Well, this one's fungal too. Hey, I'm telling you, stop going into the gym showers in your bare feet. Yeah, I'll get some jandals. It just hooks on. It hooks on. Well, this one's fungal too. I'm telling you, stop going into the gym showers in your bare feet.

Yeah, I'll get some jandals. It just hooks on. It hooks on. So this was an Indian man who works with fungal, in the area of fungus. Mushrooms. Mycologist? Okay.

Mycology is the study of fungus. So he's a mycologist. He works with decaying material fungi. He studies it, et cetera, et cetera. He started suffering from flu-like symptoms and he had some difficulty swallowing. Then he lost his voice and he suffered from anorexia. Wait. Just couldn't, didn't eat.

Is this in New Zealand? No, no, in India. In India. Oh, right, okay. Couldn't eat. Couldn't eat. Just didn't want to. Couldn't eat. Couldn't eat. Just didn't want to. Did he have a hunger for blood?

Didn't have a hunger for anything, apparently. Right. So then they did a CT scan. There was an abscess in his throat, and they were like, ooh, let's take a biopsy of that. It might be cancerous. And it wasn't. It was fungus.

So he had mushrooms in his throat. He had mushrooms growing in his throat. Shittakes or buttons? Chondosterium purpureum. Yum. Oh, my God. Have you ever had those in an omelette? No, in an omelette.

With like a feta? Yeah. Beautiful. So that's the same fungus that causes silver leaf disease in plants, which turns plants to leave silver before killing them off. So he had some antifungals and it took care of it, but this is the first time it's gone from plants to a human? Not the first time.

Okay. But it's a very rare occurrence. Right. But experts have said cross-kingdom human pathogens and their potential plant reservoirs have important implications for the emergence of infectious diseases. Oh, God. The worsening of global warming and other civilization activities opens Pandora's box to newer fungal diseases. Oh, man.

I don't want it. Also, this is different to that one that you every now and then hear about on the news, that Candida auras, that numbers are always kind of around, but lately it's spiked in the U.S. Candida auras, that numbers are always kind of around, but lately it's spiked in the US. Candida auras? It's Rita Aura's sister. Yeah.

Oh, Candida. Great singing voice on this one too. I can't wait for it. It's just talented family. Beautiful Candida. Yeah. So yeah, that one,

that was the one that was detected in New Zealand for the first time recently as well. Oh, no thanks. No thanks. The mushrooms are coming for your throat.

So add this to the list of things that want us dead. AI, COVID, all the mushrooms apparently. Yep. What's the other one? Rabies. Rabies. Remember when that fun game on your iPhone where the idea was to infect the entire world with a plague?

Yes. What was that called? Plague or infection? Something like that. Yeah. Now, you could pick different types of infections. Yeah. Parasite.

Oh, yeah. That was the other one. Parasite. Parasitic ones. Yeah. Bacterial ones, fungal ones, viral ones. Sexual ones. Sexual ones.

Oh, no, those are... Sexuals are always viral. Viral. Well, there are some sexually transmitted bacterial infections. Probably. I'm off sex, by the way. Are you? I'm out.

Overrated. Seems dangerous. By choice. By choice. Bit of column A. Bit of column B. Bit of column, get off me. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. From the

bustling ZM think tank, this is the top six. Ah, hi. Second Harbour Bridge announcement. Yesterday, that was all, everybody was all like, woo, woo, woo, yeah. So they gave five options. Yep. One. Like different options

for light rail and tunnel and, yep. One. Tunnels for light rail and tunnel. One, tunnels for light rail and road traffic. So Harbour Bridge, road. Tunnel, under there. Kind of beside the Harbour Bridge. Oh my God, a tunnel would be so cool with glass and you can see all the fishies. I think it's called Kelly Tarleton's.

Oh yes, Kelly Tarleton's. It's so hard to get my car out. I can get it in, but it's hard to get out. Yeah, yeah. It adds time to my commute, if anything, just a quick detour through Kelly Tarltons. Yeah. But then there was also talk of there a light rail that ran through the North Shore and then popped out.

Well, one of the options for a tunnel was, yeah, all the cars use the bridge and then light rail and cycling and walking through a tunnel. all the cars use the bridge and then light rail and cycling and walking through a tunnel. Yeah. Walking to the North Shore. Have you ever walked or ran through the Vic Tunnel in Wellington? Thanks for the carbon monoxide poisoning. Yeah. Yeah, but they

wouldn't be in there. Because it's just for cycling and walking. Yeah, but what about the trains? Are they electric? That'll be electric and that's not going to be in the you're not going to be like, oh, hop out the way. Train's coming. It'll be in a... It'll be segregated.

It'll be one big tunnel, but there'll be a wall to separate them, surely. God, because that was terrifying in Wellington. You know the bus tunnel? When you used to run through it? You're not meant to go through that. I've never run through the bus tunnel. Well, I lived in Hataitai, though, and it was like so much quicker. You'd just be like...

And then a bus would come. You'd be like, ah! Running. Madness. Sprinting. Yeah, so there's a few different options. Their light rail seems to be in most of them. But the rest of the country is like, wabass.

Wabass, we need bridges too, you know. There's a bridge, yeah. There's a bridge. Why are you getting all the bridges? Top six places that need bridges. Number six, Simon. I knew it. I knew it.

I knew it. I was like, I reckon he's going to do a Simon Bridges gag here. And he did. Straight away. Straight out the gate. Get it out of the way. Get it done with. Number five on the list of the top six places that need bridges.

If you say Jeff, I'm out. No. Okay. Because he's not in New Zealand. Right. John. Okay. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Jokes, because he's not in New Zealand. Right. John. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Jokes, jokes.

Number five, Cook Strait Bridge. I'm sick of that ferry. Yeah, actually. I think a lot of people are sick of the ferries right now, always breaking down. Yeah, can we get a bridge? So they do a lot of these long bridges in like Europe and places. China.

China loves a long bridge. China. Because it a long bridge. China. Because it's not that many Ks, right? Nah. I was going to say, what's the distance? Isn't it like 35 Ks? Well, you can see it.

You can see it, yeah. You can see the south from the north and vice versa. The longest bridge in the world is the Dian Yang Kusan Grand Bridge. Hell of a bridge to Terabithia. The bridge over the River Kwai 164km long viaduct on the Beijing

Shanghai high speed railway it is the longest bridge in the world that's insane you get there and back 100 times I don't know

if a bridge between the north and south island is a great idea on that giant fault line just an idea just a thought make it a wobbly one that can wobble with it.

Oh, like a sort of flexy bridge. Or just put life jackets in your car. Yeah. Do you know all of the big bridges are Chinese? Ah, so one, two, three, four, the top four, Chinese. The next one, which is a 48-kilometer bridge, United Arab Emirates. Next one, Beijing.

Next one, Zhuhai Bay Bridge. But how long's the gap between the North and South Island? Is it like 35? Oh, bugger all. People swim it. Yeah. Isn't it 28 at the shortest point? 22 at the shortest point from the social media desk.

Thank you, social media desk. This is 164 kilometers. How does the social media desk know the difference, the length between islands? Yeah, stick to your Twitter, love. Gosh. A-I. I don't think she knows the Twitter login. Get back on the Twitter and the snaps.

Snaps chats. Number four on the list of the top six places that need new bridges. All those South Island lakes. Lovely, but God, they're a long way to drive around. And once you've done it once, over. It kind of ruins the V-Stid, though. Yeah. Over.

Okay. We're surrounded by V-Stis. Make it look natural. Yeah. We could just dump all the rocks. Paint it blue. You wouldn't even see it. Blah, da, ta-da.

You got it. Number three on the list of the top six places that need bridges. A bridge to Stewart Island It's lovely It's isolated We need more people To go there It's cut off From the rest of the world

We should definitely Connect it to it That ferry is Also terrible right I've never been on it I want to go The Fover Strait In rough weather

The Fover Strait is brutal Yeah no thanks Yeah I want to go to Stewart Island So bad Same I was there for one night In 2004 And I can remember it So clearly over straight is brutal. Yeah, no thanks. Yeah. I want to go to Stewart Island so bad. Same. I was there for one night in 2004, and I can remember it so clearly, just walking out of the pub where the old boys...

Is there a pub there? Yeah. Do people live there? Yeah. Oh. They're old boys. What did you think? Nobody lived there.

I thought it was just sort of some like, you know, dock kind of site. You know in movies where they go to like an old Icelandic pub and there's all just like weathered looking gentlemen? Them. Oh, fun. I think that's where Aaron should live. He would thrive. He would absolutely thrive.

But his skin's too nice. It needs to be more salty. Yeah, more weathered. Dried from the... They are moist skins like this because of the hard, salty southern breeze. And he calls it a breeze even though it's a gale. Yeah, beautiful. Yeah.

Number two on the list are the top six places that need bridges from the rugged south to the petite north. How about a bridge to Waiheke Island? Oh, darling. Because those lines for the ferry. And the ferry. Arduous. Oh, my God, the ferry. Full of all sorts of degeneraraoh. Arduous. Oh, my God. The pharaoh.

Full of all sorts of degenerates. Also full of Prosecco, though. Yeah, there is. They do those cute little Proseccos. Yeah. They know their audience. They know their audience. And number one on the list of the top six places that need bridges.

How about a bridge to the Chathams? Oh, that's a long way. Long way. Long way. Long way Long way And I don't think Many people would want To go there would they

Or I'd go for a drive I mean I wouldn't Turn down a free trip there No no neither I'd love to go Just for a look Because they've done A few Country Calendar

Episodes out there And it's a wild time And they even did One of those Grand Designs The latest series Of New Zealand Grand Designs Did they And it was wild

Is it a cool house Yeah it's a cool house. They did really well. How'd they get all the stuff there from Mitre 10? They shipped it. Oh, no. Everything was expensive.

Mitre 10 will do whatever it takes to get the materials to you. Yeah. And if you find something at another, at a competitor for a lower price,

they'll beat it 15% guarantee. I don't think anyone does it on Chatham Islands. I think they've got you. Oh, wow. This house is incredible. It's beautiful, eh? Okay. I think they've got you. Oh, wow. This house is incredible. It's beautiful, eh?

Okay. Yeah, they did really well. I don't think they give a shit what I think. They did really... We would just like to say to them, well done, great job. Yeah. Well done.

That's today's Top 6. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. Well, Amsterdam is the city asking young British men between 18 and 35 to stay away. Yeah, fair enough. I mean, do I need to explain this story anymore? Because haven't they been kind of changing

the red light district a bit? Haven't they? Like to try to keep basically young British male tourists away. Yeah, I think they were making changes and I think they're just sick of, a lot of Europe is sick of British stag and hen parties. Because, I mean, you see, if you've been travelling, you see

what they do and you've seen movies and TV shows. That's what it's like. But who's going to go to them? Just normal tourists that aren't like trash that's like all you can eat small sports but like we don't like overweight people yeah yeah it's like why biggy patty no but it's always we are your customers man no it's always those skinny white girls that win those eating competitions oh yeah yeah they got nothing on a

hollow the smith the smith Smith and Holmes family turning up. Valentine's used to shake in their boots when we arrived in the 90s. They're like, we're not making money today. The Smiths are here. Today's a price leader. So Amsterdam has launched a new online campaign to tackle nuisance tourism, which targets visitors between the ages of 18 and 35. British tourists quite often searching the terms online

Stag Party Amsterdam, Cheap Hotel Amsterdam or Pub Crawl Amsterdam. I feel like those are the pretty kind of PG rated searches. So this new campaign also is advertising the downsides of coming to Amsterdam and getting trashed with criminal fines and records for bad behaviour and, you know, bad activity. So, yeah. I've never been, but it's got a reputation. Yeah, I feel like Spain was at Malaga

and a few of those places were just also, like, stopping so trashy. Also, when Portugal went, drugs are not illegal here. Yeah, that's right. Weren't they like, that doesn't mean come here and bloody cut loose. Yeah. That doesn't mean just come down here and bloody shoot up and hoon up and do all the things. Oh, you can tell I'm a druggie regular.

Shoot up and hoon up. Shoot up and hoon up. I know all the terms. What Oh, you can tell I'm a druggie regular. Shoot up and hoon up. Shoot up and hoon up. I know all the terms. What is it? Rail it up. You've got to rail it up and do the hoon the blow. Yeah.

That's the one. Yeah. That's what I meant. Druggie collective here. Yeah. You know us. You know us. We love our drugs.

That is sarcastic. That is sarcastic. That is sarcastic. Yeah, just to clarify. Well, no, some people, it seems, haven't been picking up on sarcasm lately. Ah, okay. So it's good to spell that out. Well, we do love drugs, though. What do you love? Coffee.

Yeah. I love caffeine and I'm a fan of alcohol, which is a drug. It's also a drug, yeah. Oh, okay, I'm a druggie then, yeah. Yeah, big drug. I just had some drugs this morning. Do you know what I had this morning? Yeah?

Opiprofen. I'm absolutely spinning. Stop it. Oh, my God, the room is spinning. I've had a drugs, and I'm probably going to have another. Have you had a cup of drugs? I've had a cup of drugs. I'm going to have another cup of drugs soon.

Play. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. We are joined by Martin Starr. Hello and good morning. Hello and good morning. Wow, I love that you just moved the emphasis and yet it was so much better than Vaughan's. Yeah, I know.

Yeah, it was good. I feel like a right dick, didn't I? Hello and good morning. And good morning. We're talking to you because after a 13-year, correct me if I'm wrong, 13-year absence from our screens, Party Down is back. Yeah, you've done your research.

That's accurate. Why the big break? Well, we actually have been showing it in other countries. We just didn't think New Zealand was ready for it. It takes us a while to catch up. Yeah, I don't know if you know this, but we still live in grass huts. We don't wear shoes, so we're a bit behind. Yes, we were certain that you guys didn't actually have TVs

when we put out the first two seasons, so we just waited. Oh, we didn't. No, no, famously. No, we didn't. No, we didn't. No, we just got those last year, and I tell you what, what a hoot they are. Oh, my God. Yeah.

Yeah. Stories on a screen and stuff. And they're probably larger televisions. They get a lot thinner as the years go on. They have a huge back, like a box. Yeah, they're very boxy at the moment. Rear projection. Yeah, we're enjoying them though.

They're hot and in the winter when it's cold we cuddle them for warmth. We do in our grass huts. That sounds lovely. So it's 2010 and the show does two seasons and then is cancelled. And now 13 years later, it's back. How does something like that happen?

Well, you pray long and hard. And then you thank Jesus when he gives you your present. I knew it was going to be Jesus. I knew Jesus was to thank for this. That guy's all over it. It's not like you've done nothing in those years though. I mean, Silicon Valley was massive. You've been in Spider-Man movies.

And I just want to jump right back to Freaks and Geeks and say if, I mean, 23 years, is that too late? Maybe we could revisit Freaks and Geeks as well. Yes, please. Yeah, you guys could do whatever you wanted. Wait, we have to do it? I just want to do it, Martin.

You do it. Sounds like you just signed yourself up. So let me know when you're done. Okay, sweet. Okay, great. We'll do it. So what is happening in Party Down? For people who didn't catch the first two seasons,

it's like a catering company that go to parties in Hollywood made up primarily of people who want to be part of Hollywood. Yeah. Did you produce the show? I write the synopsis for the TV guide. So 13 years later, is everybody still trying to break in? We are. Some of us are.

I don't know. We're going to let you guys watch the show after we're done with this interview. You can watch half of the first episode and then that'll answer three or four of your questions. Oh, wow. The work speaks for itself. Thank you. Yeah, we come back 13 years later, post-pandemic. I think there's a little snippet um before the pandemic and then it gets into the the show but we don't uh we don't linger at all in the pandemic nature of what we've all been through i think that uh would be redundant i think we've all experienced enough pandemic for

the rest of our goddamn lives yeah it is weird how TV shows just kind of like slightly acknowledge it happening but don't want to get stuck in it because you're right. Everybody's like, fine. No, I don't want to watch it. I haven't. We lived it. It was horrible. We're on to the next part. Even in a drama, I don't think anybody wants to revisit what that experience was. And, you know, maybe

in 30 years, you can do a biopic on someone in the pandemic or something. Yeah. Comedy just doesn't last long if you're trying to do it in a pandemic. Right. So we're back. Everybody's still trying to get in there, catering, big parties.

And Jennifer Garner is a main part of the season. Very funny and very sweet. I mean, everybody knew she was sweet, but also very funny. Right. Okay. Well,. And very sweet. I mean, everybody knew she was sweet, but also very funny. She's in there. And you can watch it on TVNZ Plus here right now. Six episodes in the third season of Party Down. Martin Starr, thanks for joining us. It's ready already?

It's ready already. We've made it, yeah. You've already made it. You made it. Yeah, when we were doing Freaks and Geeks, we just did the third season of Party Down. Oh, you did the second season of Freaks and Geeks? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God.

How did that turn out? It's okay. Yeah. Look, it's not the first season, is it? No, no, no. It's all right. I don't know if we're, you know, giving birth to the next generation of comedy actors or anything,

but fingers crossed. Yeah, we'll see. I'm starting to wonder if we trusted the right people with the third season of Party Down. No, you have. You have. You have. You have. Yeah, we'll see. I'm starting to wonder if we trusted the right people with the third season of Party Down. No, you have. You have. Yeah. Just trust us.

I'm doing season two of Tulsa King too, so I'll see you there. Oh, boy. Yeah. Oh, shit. I actually... Are you busy? I have to make some plans.

Yeah. I know. Oh, we can work around you. We'll work in with your schedule. Very flexible. That's so nice. Thank you guys. Awesome.

Thanks Martin. Thank you so much. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch Vaughn and Hayley and big rumours that she's just about to announce Australian dates as well for her tour. What? No New Zealand dates, though.

No rumours about New Zealand. You know what else are big rumours? What? Fleetwood Mac. They grow them up in Dargaville. They sell them on the side of the road. Tate, Coomies. Big rumours.

What? Coomers. Oh, my God. No, that was not a good joke. I've heard some terrible pronunciations of Māori words before. But kumrus. That was a terrible, terrible joke. There's got to be a terrible one.

Kumrus? You talking about kumrus? Oh, I love the Northland kumrus. Love a kumrus. You just sit down. Yeah. Shall I go home? He's all racked up because yesterday he thought he got taken out for a free lunch

and turns out it was vegan and he didn't know. I've been bloody. My agent was like, we'll go here. It's nice. And then we sat down and I said, what's good? And she said, um. Halloumi tacos. Halloumi tacos.

Oh, yum. And I assumed there'd be some pork under the halloumi. Yeah. No, because if there's pork in a dish, that's the headlining ingredient. And I just said, oh yeah, that sounds good. And so I got there and then it got there and I was like, there's nothing but squeaky cheese in this. Oh, yum though.

I was just telling you guys about my squeaky cheese tacos. Yeah. And Carween's like, that's a vegan cafe. Yeah. So I need a new agent. If you want to represent me, you can just huck me an email. Right, okay. Come on over to Auckland Actors.

I'm an actor, so I don't feel like I belong there. That's great. Yeah. I've just got a guy in a van that represents me. Yes, I've been meaning to talk to you about him. I also feel like the 40% commission isn't great. And when you leave, he changes the sign to doctor. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got to make money. He does a few other things. One of the cheapest yet, you know. Does piercings too. Non-detailed colonoscopies of the van. I've got to say, he lubed the GoPro though, and that was nice of him.

Yeah. It's good, eh? It's all over the world. But selfie stick. Yeah. Not a lot of bend in it. It's good, eh? It's all over the world. But selfie stick. Yeah. Not a lot of bend in it. Oh, my God, I saw a lady yesterday with a selfie stick in Auckland Central. I was like, retro?

Look at you go. Very helpful. Yeah. When you're at the Leaning Tower of Pisa on your own, I'll tell you that. Oh, that's right. Now, there was a woman who was given a new hobby ago. Now, she'd obviously done a lot of tandem skydives, but this was her first go at being a solo skydiver.

Not her career, just a hobby that she wanted to get into, put her mind to. First solo skydive, jumps out the plane. Could you do this? Like, I've done skydiving three times. Loved it. It's terrifying initially, and then the adrenaline is incredible. But to do it yourself, I don't know if I could.

You have to be strapped to someone. Why do you? You saw that. I hit it, and it turned itself off again. I've got a sticky button over here. No. I need to go see that guy in the van about my sticky button. Because that's the other thing.

Doctor, agent, and Alex Richard. My agent in the van can talk to management about getting you a new button. Yeah, that'd be helpful. And only charge me 40% commission for it, which I appreciate. It's so good. Solo skydiving. Yeah, I've... It's like bungee jumping.

I love bungee. It's like your brain's just like... No, but... No. Bungee jumping, you only have to jump off. You don't have to do anything. But I'm solo. It's convincing your brain.

It's convincing your brain to do the... Isn't it? You're born with a natural fear of two things and one of them's falling. Right. And moths. Ah! No, that's what it is.

I just chucked the word into the room. That comes later when one burrows in your ear on those eggs. Ah, stop it! Have some respect for the space. But falling is like, my brain is like, what are you doing? So you're like skydiving. I held onto the plane. The guy's like, you've got to let go.

I was like, ah. Did you brace in the doorway? Yeah. And the guy was like, tickle, tickle, tickle. We did it when I did it. Yeah. That was out of the little plane.

When we did it with the Air Force. Yeah. That, I've got to say, one of the most amazing experiences, the back of the plane. Oh, my life. That was incredible. I couldn't,

there was nothing to grab. So once I was moving, I was like, I'm in your control. You were like in a Baby Beyond. Yeah. I was Baby Beyond. in the Baby Bjorn. And the big Air Force guy just walks out the plane.

And off you go. And off you go. Yeah. But doing it yourself, pulling the chute, like this is a scary hobby. Yeah, totally. Because you have to pull the chute. Yeah. Rather than just being like, hey, are you going to pull?

Oh, no one's on my back. It's me. Hey, it's me. I'm the puller. It's me. Anyway, it's me. I'm the puller. It's me. Anyway, so this woman jumped out the plane, first time solo skydiving. She pulled her chute, so she wasn't going to die.

But she totally missed the airport where she was supposed to land. Like, she just got totally like, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm all off kilter here. Then she saw some power lines coming, and she was like, better avoid those. Did a sharp turn straight into the second set of power lines. Oh, wow, okay. Where she got immensely tangled and had to dangle for a very long time

while they had to turn off the power so they could safely untangle her. They turned off the whole power grid. The electric grid. They had to turn it all off because you can't just get up there. She wasn't earthed, so she never got electrocuted, right? She was wound in between power lines, but she's okay. No, she didn't get electrocuted, but they couldn't get in there to fix it. Right.

And then she was like, well, never doing that again. Yeah, I guess that's the end of that hobby, right? You're not coming back from that. How long did she wait for? A very long time. What are the better outcomes of a skydive gone wrong, though? Yeah, yeah. I mean, you're still alive.

Yeah, and just hanging out on these power cables. But I think, yeah, she was just like, that's a hobby that I thought I wanted to do but don't want to do anymore. Something I feel like happens all the time. I got into cross-stitch for about 30 minutes and then realised it was so boring. And hard. The holes are tiny. The holes are tiny. time. I got into cross stitch for about 30 minutes and then realised it was so boring.

And hard. The holes are tiny. The holes are tiny. And you go up through, up through, up through, up through, up through, up through, up through, up through, and you've just done a dot. And then if you like stuff it, you're like you can't go back. It's terrible. I'm pretty sure you can scan that into a banana and it just does it. Take it to the embroidery shop in the mall.

Save yourself some time. So easy and so versatile. Benina. Benina. It was such a heartfelt jingle. So beautiful. I've got a Benina. Do you?

That's another hobby that I tried to get into. I said to my mum, I really want to make my own clothes. I've always been into fashion. So I think for my 18th birthday, she bought me a sewing machine. How many times have you? I don't know. It's at her house. She makes curtains with it.

Oh, she's still got it. Because I was going to say, I could borrow that. I've got some things I need doing. Yeah, no, no, no. No, but I think I made that skirt once. You said intermediate school sewing training? Yeah. Well, that's honestly what I was thinking.

My body pillow needs a pillowcase. And I was thinking I could make my own. I was thinking that as well. Is your body pillow getting a little grubby? No, the body, yeah, the case. Mine's getting a little grubby because I dribble my own. I was thinking that as well. Is your body pillow getting a little grubby? No, the body, yeah, the case. Mine's getting a little grubby because I dribble on it. Yeah, the case for the body pillow is very thin. Yeah, no.

You need a case. You need to make a nice linen. You don't need to make one. Buy a tablecloth. I was going to get some material from Spotlight. Yeah. Some Star Wars ones. Yeah.

Oh, that's going to be so great with Sade's aesthetic. She's really been curating in your house. Well, nothing says scanty minimalism like the Mandalorian. Yes, you're right. Missing ingredient. Anyway, we want to know, we want to hear from you, if you've done this where you've just really gone all out on a hobby and then quite quickly realised you hated it and you're never going to do it again.

Maybe it was boring. Maybe you spent a lot of money on it. For me, it's always, it's hard. I don't want to work hard at something anymore. Or maybe you got caught in some power lines when you were learning to skydive. Or what about those people that learn to kiteboard? Surely some of them get swept away. The equipment would be so expensive as well? Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

Play ZM. Well, a skydiving student got tangled in power lines. A student in the art of falling from the sky and deploying material attached to said student via strings and a harness. To slow down the impact of hitting the earth. Yes, to not stop gravity entirely, but to slow the effects of gravity through air friction and displacement.

Air friction. Hit the power lines. She jumped out, did the shoot, got tangled in some power lines, didn't she? She was like, that's me. A student, this is a new hobby. We want to know when you've got into a hobby and then regretted it. Maybe it ended badly with an accident

or an injury or you just got bored. Can I also say I resent the person who texted saying they tried marching and left because it was boring. Now, that feels like a personal attack on me. Marching, you've got to give it 20 years to sort of feel like if you want to stay. Oh, that's my idea of a good hobby too.

It takes 20 years for you to begin enjoying it. They did say sorry, Hayley. Well, that's – They did apologize to you. This is my passion. They didn't mean it to be an attack on you. Some text messages in, somebody said pottery. Now, you would have thought I would have tried it before I bought the wheel.

How much is it? I want to know if it was a foot pump because you can get the foot pump wheels. That's what my friends got. No, I'd go electric. I'd go electric.

But you've got to try this because my friend who's an actor, she got into pottery and now she's made it her life. She's a potter, not an actor. That's her new passion.

Okay, so you can actually get some really cheap pottery wheels automatic. They look like real Bajo on Wish or AliExpress. No, that's not going to make you a plate. I've got to have enough room for a Patrick Swayze type to scooch in behind me and get his hands in the muck. Don't thrust your pelvis at me. Well, no, that's him scooching in behind me. I can see it tilting.

Yeah, I know, but you know when you're scooching behind someone, just when you get close, you've got an inch to go, you give it a two inch thrust. So they get an inch of it. These, Vaughan, I get an inch of the two inch thrust. We are behaving. These pottery wheels that are actually proper

are like thousands of dollars. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're legit. And that's why when people make homewares with, like, the clay and their talent and the wheel, like, it's expensive. You've got to pay for that stuff. Yeah, the time, the kiln. So you've got a kiln. You've got a kiln glaze.

You've got to glaze this thing? You've got to spend thousands of dollars to realise you don't like it. Yeah. So that's what they did. They said, you thought I would have tried it before I bought the wheel, but no, too hard. Wheel remains. Someone else said photography.

They like taking photos, so they thought, I'll buy an expensive camera and photography will be my new hobby. But I was certainly no Nat Geo photographer. It's hard as well when you're on holiday lugging a camera around. Like you've really got to be passionate about photography because you can take as good of photos on iPhones now. As good as? As good as.

As good as photos. As good as. As good as. Photos on your iPhone. As good of. As good as. What are we up to? We're up to like two megapixels on the iPhone now, aren't we?

Two? I'm sorry, that's a Sony CyberShot you're thinking of. What? Two? And even then, that thing was quickly outdone by the 3.2 Sony Cybershot. Yeah, pretty sure up to four megapixels. The year was 1999. God, you couldn't beat those photos. How many megapixels actually are we up to?

But that's sort of my point. Do you remember caring about megapixels? I just forgot about that. We used to always care about megapixels. You'd turn down the quality because you wanted a few more shots. Yes. You'd turn it from 3.2 to 2.1

and that meant you could get like, you know, a lot of third photos. Lesser quality, but you know, sometimes it's about quantity. Okay, we're up to 48 megapixels. Jeez.

Megapixels took off like nobody's business. Yeah. Like I remember when digital cameras came out and they were one and then two, three and then it just went brrrr

and it was really, really just a magnificent, if I might say, a magnificent technology to stand idly by and watch take off like a rocket. Sure. Wonderful. I just read a really terrible message. It said I wanted to learn how to do acrylic nails

which is like this, you know this like smelly stuff at nail salons, real chemical. So I could save money each month and do my own. I ended up buying the wrong glue and had to go to hospital and get it removed. You would have ripped off your fingernails. Check your glues. If there's one thing I've learnt in life, you've got to check your glues.

You've got to check your glues. I took up hip hop dancing as an adult because it seemed like a fun way to make new friends. As an adult? Hello, fellow adults. Shall we hip-hop? Shall we get down to funky town? Turns out I have zero coordination. Gave up after one class, but I'd paid for the season.

Oh, okay, yeah. I begged to learn guitar for years. My parents finally bought me a beautiful new guitar and paid for lessons. I tapped out after a week because the strings make my fingies hurt. When I was learning guitar, I the strings make my fingies hurt. When I was learning guitar, I never had the pick. They hurt. I did the fingers. Yeah, right.

I just never bothered. I learnt drums as a teenager and my dad bought me a kit, like a full drum kit, I'd say three weeks in. I reckon I played it like three times maybe. And he bought you a whole... Then what happened? Because daddy got me whatever

I wanted. It sat in the spare room undrummed and then we sold it. How annoying would it be if your kids were like, I want to do drums. I'd be like, no, absolutely not. Too loud. What's more annoying is if it's not your kid it's your neighbour.

Highlighters, today is what we're ranking for final rankings. This is our first non-food one in a while. It is. I've got Statler. I've got a Statler Classic 8-pack on the screen open in front of me. Stabilo. I do have the Stabilo Classic 8-pack open in front of me. They seem to share most of the colours.

Why traditional? Because Carl Weans just sent through some sort of purpley, glittery one. No, no, we're going traditional. Metallic highlighter. That's absolute Gen Z. Should we lay out what we mean? So you've got, because I just saw a Stabilo. Cloudy blue.

Dusty grey. Get your trash. Grey highlighter. Yeah, Bruce. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. The colour blind people. So this, you go green, right? Yellow, obviously.

Yeah. Orange. Correct. Blue. Pink. Yep. Orange. Correct. Blue. Pink. Yep. Blue. Purple.

And can I suggest a coral? Because coral is that one. Like a pastel. Like a pastel. No, no, this one that's like orange pink. Do you remember this from the 90s? Because if we're including this, that's my number one. Yeah.

Okay. Is it? Okay. Because it's like a peachy. My number one highlighter color is yellow. It's the number one. Mine's is it? Because it's like a peachy... My number one highlighter colour is yellow. It's the number one. Mine's green. Green? No, nobody's highlighting in green. Get a personality.

Yellow. Green number one. I've got to say orange and purple will be my other two. Purple's too dark. Purple is way too dark. No, but it makes you, you highlight it and then you're like, what does that say? And you really have to look and then that makes it easier to commit to memory. But it's not highlighting it.

It's like colouring it in. People that highlight in purple, that's weird. That's trash, man. Purple is not a highlighter colour. Yeah, it's not. You're just not rocking the right purple highlighter. No. What about pink?

Yeah, pink's good. Yellow would be the most used, right? Yeah. Yellow is across the board the most used. Someone messaged in saying yellow is so popular because the text can be photocopied or scanned and you can still see the text. Yeah, okay, fair call. Yeah, purple

it goes all dark grey. Yeah, like you've redacted information from a classified document. You can't be doing that. Someone said I've got highlighters that are dark green, grey, red and real yellow, not highlighter yellow. Real yellow, no! Those are felt grey, red, and real yellow, not highlighter yellow. Real yellow, no.

Those are felt tips. Those are felts. Oh, hon. You've got a pack of felts there, hon. Oh, hon, you've got a little felt collection. You've got a thick-nipped felt there, hon. Oh, hon. Those are not highlighters. The key is in the name.

It's in the neon. Highlighter. It's in the name? Is in the neon. Highlighter. Is in the neon. Yeah. Aspect. I think I'd go yellow, pink, orange, or green. You know, maybe I'd go. You can't just list them all and say. Oh, God, it's so hard. Number one. Yellow.

Number two. Pink. Green. Number three. Yellow, pink, green. Green. Orange. Purple.

Oh, I hate. No, purple. Who are you? I'm a monster. Yeah, you Orange. Purple. No, purple. Who are you? I'm a monster. Yeah, you are. I'm an agent of chaos. Yuck. I'm going coral. Which is yellow, pink.

No, sorry, orange, pink. Orange, pink. Yeah. Pink. Not yellow. Yellow's so embarrassing. Yellow is the standard. No, blue's not on the list.

I'm going to go green. Okay. I'm going to go coral, pink, green. Somebody said, more importantly, chisel tip or bullet tip. Chisel tip. Chisel tip. Chisel tip. It's chisel tip.

Bullet tip. Bullet tip. You got a fat fowl there, hon. Vivid. You got a fat fowl there, hon. You got a fat fowl. You got a vivid deer. Vivid.

Never a chisel for a vivid. Never a Vivid, never a chisel for a vivid. Never a chisel. Never a chisel for a vivid. Never a chisel for a vivid. Never a chisel for a vivid. Or a whiteboard marker, never a chisel. Never a chisel. Those super vivids with the chisel tip, get the F out of here.

That's a hard thing to ride with. Whereas a highlighter, always chisel. Always a chisel. Always a chisel. You should just be highlighting a line. What's the other one that's not a chisel. Always a chisel. Because you should just be highlighting a line. If it's a, if it's a, what's the other one that's on a chisel? It's a bullet. A bullet.

A bullet is a felt. Yes. A bullet's for like writing with a vivid, writing a big thick bullet. Don't get me wrong. I love that. Not a chisel. Vivids must be ball. I want to go buy some highlighters.

My dad used to, when cows ear tags, yellow cows ear tags, before you'd order them pre-printed with the number, you had to draw them on there. Oh, yeah. And he used to do it with a chisel tip. Oh, no. And he used to have to roll it around because it was the only thick tip in the 80s. What a monster. Well, no, he wasn't a monster.

He was doing the best with what he had. Right, yeah. With all he had. I'm very anti-chisel tip. I don't think I'd use a chisel tip for anything. Hang on, guys. Apart from. Yeah, go ahead.

Who knows highlighters better than kids? Now, my nieces just text me. Oh my goodness, okay. Eleven. There are pastel highlighters these days, which are blue, yellow, orange, green, and purple. But they're all pastel, so they're lighter. So if you had a purple, it wouldn't

be that dark purple that we're used to. Mark that down as another strike against this generation. Don't come for my nests. They probably don't want to. They're the same age as my daughter and they will both be strapped for their full insurrection.

The full colour's too offensive. So they just want a half colour. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Have they cancelled the full colour? They want the colour to be non-coloury. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because it might bring up a bad memory. It's too coloury? Because I thought this generation doesn't see colour. About. Apparently they do. Wow, okay. Yeah. And it's too I don't know, bring up a bad memory. Because I thought this generation doesn't see colour. About. Apparently they do.

Wow, okay. Yeah. And it's too coloury. Well, thank you, Lucy, for this. Yeah, thank you, Lucy. But you've got to go a full highlighter colour. It's probably highlighter. Because I've got the feeling she's just using this for bright colouring.

Yeah. Versus highlighting. Yeah, pastels are felt colours. Don't highlight with a felt colour. You'll just never see it. That's crossing out. That's not highlighting. You're crossing it out.

They're called highlighters, not half highlighting. They're not, yeah. They're not called high darkers. Yeah. Dull lighters. Yeah, dull. They're not dull lighters. They're highlighters.

They're highlighters. Low darkers. They're highlighters. Get out of here with your chisels. So if we can surmise, oh, have you got another? A teacher. A teacher. What the hell would they know?

Is saying chisel tip whiteboard markers a peak. No, they are not. How would you decide writing on the whiteboard marker with a fountain pen? No, that's not. You're fired. Get the name of their school. No, I will be reporting this number to the Minister of Education, a close personal friend.

Who is it? I don't know who the Minister of Education is. Stuart Nash. Oh, I've got news for you, Han. Oh, no. What's he done? I've got terrible news for you. What's he done?

Hang on. Hang on. Oh, okay. Is it the Honourable Jan Tinetti? Okay. Close personal friend. We'll be... You didn't even know her name. You'll be fired by lunchtime. Also the Minister for Women Tinetti. Okay. Close personal friend. We'll be... You didn't even know her name.

You'll be fired by lunchtime. Also the Minister for Women, guys. Okay. So shall we have... I'm a principal and chisel tip whiteboard markers are absolute trash. Yes, thank you. Yes, thank you. That's from the boss.

The principal, that's nice. Teacher here, I only use chisel tip whiteboard markers. No! Is it because they can, like, not just for writing, they might be good for a box or an underline? Nothing that a fat bullet couldn't take care of. A bullet can underline. Nothing that a fat bullet couldn't take care of.

Another teacher here chiseled it. Slay. No. Teachers are saying slay now? Oh, my God. Next thing, they'll be outlawing the strap. I think they haven't been strapping kids for a while. Fat bullet sucks.

Fat bullet. Someone said fat bullet sucks. Chisel whiteboard markers are the best. No. Also, a teacher, only use chisel. Only use chisel. Only use chisel. I want to see your whiteboards.

They'll be shambolic. Now, the father of my niece, who is a teacher, he says chisel always. I'm so sorry that you have to leave this family. If we've been married, this is family. I've got to leave. Can the teachers explain what makes a chisel better on the whiteboard? Don't just say, I like a chisel.

Teacher here, chisel good for a wee link and handwriting. Oh, yeah, it would look better for a handwriting because then it would be faster. It's a fountain pen. I'm not here for your fancy writing. I'm here for learning. It's like calligraphy. But also teachers don't...

It's like using a calligraphy pen. Yeah, but teachers don't handwrite, do they? Don't they do block letters? Do you know who? Or should because it's easier to read and retain the information. And you know what else? After they've written in block letters with black,

you know what they should do? Highlight it! Yeah. With a box. And it's no wonder these protest signs at the marches for teachers haven't been working

because they're all using chisel tips. Do you guys know who also loves a chisel? Who? Snoop Dogg. For chisel. You can't say that.

A woman in the States don't say the last half of it. I'm not saying the last half. I'm not an idiot. She lost her job. She lost her job for saying that. But he would ask for the chisel. Yeah., yeah. But he would ask for the chisel. Yeah.

For chisel, the chisel. He'd ask for the chisel. Yeah. Well, there we go with that. I tell you what, we've had so much feedback on this. The text machine is blowing up. Well, what's the, what are the? I stand in solidarity.

Is it popping off? No, can't. I stand in solidarity with my chisel tip teachers. Wow. You guys know nothing. What? And what do principals know? They're not even in the classroom.

Oh, we've got someone on the phone. Oh, yeah. Okay, well, Kate's called up. Yeah! Kate, this is... Good morning, Mrs. Kate. Good morning, students. Now...

Now... Miss Kate. You are pro-chisel tip, whiteboard marker. So pro-chisel. You're pro-chisel. It's amazing, like, what pops off the topics, eh? But this has got quite passionate. Yeah.

People have messaged in. What is it about the chisel tip? It's a big bill. It just flows so nicely. And if you need a thin, you can go thin. But if you need a thick, you've got that option of going thick. Okay, so very subtlety. If you wanted to go thin with a chisel tip, would you just use the tip?

Yeah, you just like, you know, angle it so you've got the tip right there. Tip just on the board. But then you flip it and go flat. Does the tip wear down faster and then you end up with a flat? Well, then you're getting onto a whole other conversation of types of white ball tips. Right. That's a whole other thing. Have you got a preferred brand

or does the Ministry of Education decide this for you? Well, you know, we've got to be careful with our budget, but the Expos are pretty good. They do run out of ink quickly, though, so you've got to be careful. I think we've got an Expo marker here. Bree and Clint use a whiteboard for their show. Where on the other hand... I think think we need an Expo marker.

I do not like the Expo markers, Miss Kate. Oh, well, you are obviously doing something wrong. Statler. Look at that. That's a fat nib. That's a fat bullet point. Statler, Lumino, whiteboard marker, Expo, dry erase, all those.

So this is a bullet as well. That's a bullet. No, you need Expo chisel. Right. And there's another brand, which I can't remember what it is, but it's like the ones that the teats... More importantly... Somebody's messaging JB Hi-Fi.

You know they always write their signs? Yeah. And they only ever use chisel tips. Bullets are no good. They're like chalk. Yeah, fatty writing. They're a fatty, chalky chisel. And someone else said chisels can do three different width lines.

More importantly, what does the Expo smell like? Oh, yeah. Would you like to weigh in on the scent, Miss Kate? Well, you know, I don't often get too close to a whiteboard pee. I'm too busy chasing after my students. Oh, yeah, that's fair enough. We've got more time on our hands. The Expo does have the more traditional whiteboard scent.

Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole.

Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly Little Pole. Silly Little Pole. Silly Little Pole. Today, what age should you stop wearing your school leavers gear? This is when you leave school, you get a hooded sweatshirt and it's got your school name on it and maybe your Latino Latin. Yeah, it's always got your nickname. Always got your new nickname.

People walking down the street and it's like... Maybe a number if you got to choose a number to go on the back. What was your nickname on yours? I didn't have one. You didn't get one? We didn't get them. We didn't have them. We got them.

We got hoodies with Queen Margaret College on the front and on the back. Maybe a number. And then your nickname. Mine was Hayley the Third because I was Richard the Third in the school production. Okay. That is the most upper class nickname origin story I have ever heard. I was in a Shakespeare.

I thought there was two other Hayleys. Oh, there was. And there was a ranking of... No, with the other Hayleys, well, there was only one other Hayley in my year and she was Hayley and I was Big Hayley. So they never called Hayley, good morning Hayley Hughes, they never called Hayley Hughes Little Hayley Hughes They never called Hayley Hughes Little Hayley

Or small Hayley Because she was really petite Yeah But they just called her Hayley Wow And then I was big Hayley Wow Okay

I refused to put big Hayley I didn't leave room for another Hayley To join the size rankings Now A medium Debate Debate while that song was playing That this is

People that wear their school leavers jerseys And like PE uniforms. People saying it was debated in studio that it's mostly private school. It's posh. It's the posh schools. It's the schools that had a status attached to them. Because we're proud. I went to King's.

I went to Christ's. I went to, what was the one in Christ's, in Wellington that was posh? Marsden. Samuel Marsden. Producer Jared, you went to a posh private school. Yes. And you turned out actually okay, which is surprising. Thank you very much.

You turned out quite nice and rough still. Yeah, I'm a bit of a bogan. Yeah, you've got kind of a public school feel to you. Thank you. It's good, that's how natural you are. He's outwardly poor. He came straight from the bush of South Africa though, so, you know, they polished it, but it was a rough diamond.

It was a blood diamond. It was a blood diamond. It was a blood diamond and though so you know they polished it but it was a rough diamond it was a blood diamond it was a blood diamond it was a blood diamond and we took it and we polished it now get this what were the options at your school for leavers

so we had three we had a like Canterbury rugby shirt yep we had a Letterman puffer jacket right gotcha

and a sterling silver ring oh get out. I say this, do you know when we left we got the hoodies and a pearl bracelet. What?

Pearl bracelet? Was this tiered in price? Like rugby level, rugby jersey, lead him in jacket and a silver ring. Did you have to pay for them? Yeah, you had to buy them.

I only got the jacket. Yeah. Can't win. What did you get at your poor public school? Oh, we just had little hoodies. Oh, same. From Glessens. Yeah, public school? Oh, we just had little hoodies. Oh, same. Shanley?

From Glassons. Yeah, public school. It was a Glassons hoodie. We got told not to embarrass the school. So they didn't want you wearing anything? Once you leave, they're like, zero association. Our silly little poll today. How long should you wear school leavers gear or old school PE or rugby gear? 81% of people voted for early 20s.

Yeah. 81%. 6% said late 20s. Okay. Thanks for coming. Auckland boys grammar or whatever that one is. You're hanging on to former glory there at this stage. And never stop wearing them. 13%. Oh dear.

That's still overwhelming. 80%. Shouldn't be wearing them after 20. Who still fits their stuff, their gear from when they were 18? I know. Especially after that fresher five. You're really squeezing into that lever. Five. Fifteen. And then the 20's 20. Yeah.

Stacey said, I live in Christchurch, did not school here. This shit's insane. Girls wear their levers rings well into their 30s. Levers rings? So they've got levers rings as well from girls' schools in Christchurch. Christchurch you not school here. This shit's insane. Girls wear their lever's rings well into their 30s. Lever's rings? So they've got lever's rings as well from girls' schools in Christchurch. Christchurch you will not come across. Another city is obsessed with where you went to school as Christchurch.

What is that? I don't know. It's a real status thing. It's a hierarchy. People in Christchurch won't talk to me after I tell them I went to New Plymouth Boys High School. They'll step back. Yeah, they'll step back. They'll think it's yuck.

Zara said, I literally stopped wearing it before I left school because it was too small and then the fresher five hit real early. Real early. Does that zip don't work? Roxanne, I still wear my school leavers gear. Gear in the fact it was a sterling silver bangle. And now I can't get it off my wrist without significant effort. Oh, yeah. 14 years ago.

Kelly said, I still haven't worn my Levers rugby jersey from 1996. Yeah, but now that's cool again. It's kind of retro. It's vintage. Yeah. But everyone knows you're old. Oh, yeah. But I still wear it. Alexandra says, hot take. If you wear your school Levers gear, you peaked in high school.

I don't make the rules. Yes! That's a good call. Good call. That is from an ugly duckling, eh? Yep. She blossomed later. Out of school, she goes back to her hometown. People are like, oh, plant.

It's Alexandra. Not pizza face. Not pizza face Alex. Pizza face Alexandra. She's like, oh. God, it's like a movie with Reese Witherspoon, isn't it? Oh, my God. All she needed to do was take off her glasses and pull down her ponytail.

Yeah. Turns out she was beautiful under there the whole time. If Reese Witherspoon's going back to school now, though, I will alert authorities. She shouldn't do that. She's too old. She's too old. Alan said the year after you've left school, you should stop wearing it. And Amy says as soon as you graduate and then a very serious emoji.

Yeah. She's not knocking around. She's taking no prisoners. There you go. Yesterday, I was taking care of some life admin in the situation of another life. Our little cow's life. Hattie Our Baby calf Highland cow

Yes Who we're weaning at the moment Weaning off mum That means that she's not drinking the milk Right Good lord Ma'am Etc

Does she literally say ma'am Sounds like it Ma'am Sounds like it Ma'am I'm hangry ma'am So I need to get her What is called a nate tag

Now this was This is a situation where if you've got a cow, it's got to have a night tag in it because you've got to be able to trace its movements and everything and its belongings. It's a little round white one. Very important to stop, to cease the spread of microplasma bovis. Like a flesh tunnel. Flesh tunnel, yeah. And you can scan it and it's got some data in there

and it'll tell you about the cow. Wait, so do they still have the yellow numbers? Yes, the yellow one, that's the herd identification one. The big one, that's more for you. So they've got multiple piercings. More piercings than I did when I was 16, actually. Yeah, big, lots of piercings. Okay.

And so I ring and I... Wait, every cow has to have one? Yes. It's like law. It's law. Your cow has to have one. It's like you've got to register your dog. Yeah.

And your car. You've got to register your cow. But is it like your dog and your car, you can not do it? Not... Well, if you move chicken, that's my question. Massive fines. Well, if they come to your farm and they don't have one, you should turn around and not accept them because then you're liable.

You could be... Up for taking the fine. Anyway, so it's cow tracing things. They're wandering, it buzzes over the cows as they come on. All online, all on computer. Online, everything, you know. I go on to the web and I see what day my cows were born and that sort of information. Oh, this is, we're living in the future, aren't we farmers?

I will reiterate, again, I will say the word online. So I went online to see where I can get one of these tags. Something tells me being online didn't go well. No. Well, and it said I couldn't buy or order them online. I had to order them from a shop. A farm support store.

Farm shop. That's weird because this is all supposed to be online. Red dot sale. Right next to the lingerie. Farm support store. Farm shop. Farmers. Farmers. Because this is all supposed to be online. Farmers. Red dot sale. Right next to the lingerie. Yes. Howl tags. Air tags.

Nate tags. So it was all online. I thought I'll be able to order it online. You could not order it online. You had to go in store. That's weird. Online and all. So rather than driving to the store and just turning up and being like, can I get one now?

I thought I'll ring ahead. Because I've got a feeling that I'm going to have to order one. So I rung up and I said, what's the story with Nate Tags? Do I order them through you or can I just turn up and grab one? And they said, no, order through us. I said, fantastic.

I'll have one. And she said, I beg your pardon? I said, I'll have one. And she said, oh, no, minimum order 10. I said, well, that's far more than I need. You don't have 10 cows. I'll have one. She said, oh, no, minimum order 10. I said, well, that's far more than I need. You only need one. You don't have 10 cows. I only need one.

Did you check Trade Me? I don't think they should be on Trade Me. How much is one? $4.99 plus GST. But of course, most people are running their farms as a business, not me. Mine's a money sink. Wait, what? Per 10? Per cow, per Wait, what? Per 10 or?

Per cow, per one, but minimum spend 10. $500? No. Of 49? $49. Oh, right. So they're worth out to. Sevenfold missed.

I missed that. Sevenfold. No, I thought you said $499. No, no, no. $499. $4.99. Right. Jesus, imagine if it was $500 per cow to register.

Nobody would do it. You just wouldn't. You just eat it. We register it and we eat it. Let. $4.99. Jesus, imagine what was $500 per cow to register. Nobody would do it. You just wouldn't. You just eat it. Oh, we register it and we eat it. Let's eat it. So I said at that stage to the lady I was on the phone with, I said, isn't it funny? Oh, I know this.

I know this, Bourne. Huh. Isn't it funny? Isn't it funny that this is all so you could keep a track of everything online, yet I can't order one online. And it's not surprising Sandy from Apple hasn't called back this snarky little- It's on it to do, and she's like, oh God.

No, she agreed with me. She said, it is weird. She said, good for us. You know, we get to sell them, but I can see your point. It's all online. And so she said, yeah, minimum pack of 10. I said, well, I don't have nine other

animals that need them. She said, I'm going to have to ask somebody about this. And then she said, a guy on the phone wants one. And he laughed, the guy who she asked laughed. And then she laughed also that there was a guy on the phone that only wanted one. And I was the guy that only wanted one. So I was being laughed at for only wanting one, but I don't have a herd of cows. I've got ornamental animals. So I was being laughed at for only wanting one, but I don't have a herd of cows. I've got ornamental animals. So I felt bullied at that stage. But then she came back on and she said,

we can apparently order one, but let minimum spend $20. So now I'm paying $20 for one, whereas it was $5 for one, but you had to order 10 to get the $5. Wait, I thought it was 49 for one. No, 499. No, $4.99. No, no, $4.99. Oh, okay, right. What are you whinging about?

$49 was for 10. Just buy 10. Just buy 10. But then they're going to be like, they registered to me and they're all going to be on the online blank. They're going to be like, what's the story with these cows? I said, TBC, to be cowed. Do you want to add nine cows to your farm list?

There's not room for nine cows. It would be cute. It would be funny. It would be, well, I'd have no grass. It would cost me even more money. So did you get one? Yeah, I've ordered one,

but I had to have 10. So you got 10, you paid $50. Well, I don't know if I'm going to go in and they're going to be like, here's your 10. I'll be like,

well, I only wanted one and there was the minimum spend. I'm confused as to why, when I only wanted one, there was the minimum spend. I'm confused as to why when I only wanted one, I needed 10. And I was like, you know, every now and then you want to buy something and it's like, if you have a screw and you're only missing one screw or a bowl,

you're going to get 50 of them and you're like, but I don't need 50 of them. I just wanted one. Yeah, I did that. I only needed two screws because I fixed, do you remember when I fixed my kitchen? I do remember. I did that all by myself. He's a clever boy. Yeah, and I was going I only needed two screws because I fixed. Do you remember when I fixed my kitchen? I do remember. I did that all by myself. He's a clever boy. Yeah, and I was going to have to get like someone build builders in or something to do that.

Yeah, but you didn't. I didn't. I did it all by myself. And I had to buy a massive plastic thing of them. Do you guys need some screws? I actually am. I'm in the business. I've got 48.

Okay, screw. They're a centimetre long though. Because they have to go into a kitchen cupboard. What the hell do you need a centimetre? Oh, that's stupid. Oh, like a thin, like a MDV thing. Do you producers need centimetre long screws? I've got 48.

Very, very niche. Very niche. Yeah, it is. It's like when I received my body and it had two kidneys in it. I was like, I only wanted one. So I got the other one taken out. But I actually could have kept the other one. I think we were after two.

Right, so. If I do have 10, I will be. That's the black market of Nate tags. I can't get involved in that. They'll take away my farming license. There's no farming license. Yeah. Anyway.

Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Yeah. Anyway. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the name, what? Fact of the Name. What? Fact of the Day. It's about a name. It's about Adolf Hitler's father. Oh.

What was his name? Alois. A-L-O-S. A-L-O-I-S. Like Lois. Alois. Alois. Alois.

Okay. Eloise. Eloise. What was Hitler's father? Eloise. His name was Eloise Schleichlgruber. Oh, okay. Schleichlgruber.

That was his mother's name because he was born illegitimately and they didn't know who the father was. Oh, okay. Oh, so that was Hitler's father. Yeah. So Hitler didn't know who his grandfather was. But yeah, Hitler's father, Eloise, went by Schleichlgruber for a long time and then somebody apparently teased

them about the name so we wanted a tougher sounding name so we went with Hitler. I will say the moment you said Schicklgruber I immediately laughed. Schicklgruber. Sounds like a made up. Eh you little Schicklgruber. Sounds like a brand of, what would it be a brand of? You know like we were talking about

highlighters before and whiteboard markers. Garden implements. Yeah, yeah. Like, a fancy... That's my Schicklgruber. Yeah, a fancy European brand of garden trowels and rakes. Yeah, yeah.

Or like gumboots. Have you got leaves everywhere? It's time to get out the Schicklgruber leaf rake. 900. And rake up those leaves and get on with your life. Yeah.

In the garden. Digging hard ground? You need the Schicklgruber spade. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's it. digging hard ground, you need the Schicklgruber spade. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's it. So that was his last name. Schicklgruber, and it would have been if his,

yeah, his father hadn't changed it to Hitler. Wow. And he wanted a, he apparently wanted a more masculine set of names, so he changed it to Hitler. When did his, when did his dad die? Did he get to see all these atrocious,

atrocious things that he, I don't believe so. Let me get a hot take on that. He died in 1903. Oh, he was well dead. Because how old was Adolf Schicklgruber when, nay, Schicklgruber, when he was being terrible? Like how old was he?

Was he young? Okay, so he was born in 1889 and it kind of started in the 30s, right? Like the fascist movement. I just finished the last season of Peaky Blinders, by the way. That dips its toe into the British fashion fascist movement, which I didn't know was a thing. I was going to say, Mo said fashion. I was like, I love British fashion.

Big lot of fascism. They thought it was going to be in the UK. Right. Goodness. Churchill put an end to that. I didn't know that. So let's say 1932 with Peaky Blinders. Blinders.

You even say blinders. Peaky Blinders. Peaky Blinders. I'm off a Shelby, ain't I, Tommy? My brother Tommy. That's not bad, actually, if I might give myself a compliment. Okay, is it? Right.

We're the Shelbys. We're the Peaky Blinders. I keep making a mistake. 1889 equals 47 years old. See, is it? Right. We're the Shelbys. We're the Peaky Blinders. I keep making a mistake. 1889 equals 47 years old. See, you're almost in Hitler territory. I don't know if we'd say You're moving towards

Hitler territory. Not yet. A while away, Vaughan, but thank you. Well, I put 36 and that was when it had really gone off the rails. I think it was like 33

when he came to power, so 44. I'm 33. It's the year, it's, yeah. Well, you're 10. You're more of an Eva Braun character in my imagination. I'm 33. It's the year, it's yeah, well you're 10, you're more of an Eva Braun character in my imagination.

I'm more of a Jesus. Jesus was in his early 30s. He was 33. That's a fun thing to do. Who am I the same, like age as now? When celebrities have a birthday and they're like Beyonce's whatever

and you're just like, I've achieved nothing with my life and you know, like they're the same age. Don't be silly. You've got a cat. And they've done all of this. You've got a cat and they've done all of this you've got a cat

and a job yeah it was maybe people younger people won't remember a comedian called John Candy but he was like

this amazing he's in Home Alone and stuff he was in a whole lot of movies very amazing everybody spoke so highly of him

he was 42 when he died but when I was a kid I remember thinking that's old I'm almost John Candy yeah yeah

you've got to think about these things yeah really questioning ageing today ageing I'm almost John Candy. Yeah. Yeah. You've got to think about these things. Yeah. Really questioning ageing today. Ageing, sort of time itself. Yeah. Chest wrinkles.

Are you sleeping with your... My pad's on, the chest wrinkles. The chest wrinkles. You don't want the chest wrinkles, do you? No. Stops the chest wrinkles, this pad. Yeah. It's too late. Can I get one for my face?

Just sleep with my face in the pad. Yeah, you can. Okay, fantastic. Yeah. It's called late Can I get one for my face? Just sleep with my face in the pad Yeah you can Okay fantastic It's called a silk pillow So hold on Who's Paula Hitler? Who is Paula? Well you know when you click on somebody

And it's like Paula Hitler People Eloise Hitler People also search for And it says Paula Hitler Who's Paula Hitler? Paula Hitler was also

known as Paula Wolf. She's the youngest sister of Adolf Hitler and the last child. She lived in 1960. Can you imagine how awkward it would have been for 15 years after the war? Hitler, that's her. It's a name. Yep. You're not related

to... Who, me, Paula? Paula. Paula. Paula. Not Paula Hitler. Sounds like some auntie from Masterton or something. Yeah, absolutely. Aunt Paula. Go stay with Aunty Paula.

Anyway, today's fact of the day is Hitler's father's name was Schicklgruber before he changed it. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Yesterday, school disco for the girls. Are they blue lights still or are they just school discos? They were blue light ragers back in the day. They were just school discos.

No, blue light disco. No, only people from the school got to go. I thought blue light discos were more of a police run community event for underage. Oh, no. Our school just branded them blue light disco. And were they primarily blue lights? Yeah, strictly blue. And you only played music from Eiffel 65.

Or a British boy band, Blue. And there was no crime, so the police cars were the lights for the disco. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They just turned the whole thing. How did they turn the red ones off? They just covered them with... Put a black plastic bag over them.

Ah, so it appeared blue. Yeah. Although in the day, didn't they only have blue lights? The coppers? Yeah. Did the traffic have the red light and the police had the blue? I think so, yeah. And. Although in the day, didn't they only have blue lights? The coppers? Yeah. Did the traffic have the red light and the police had the blue? I think so, yeah. And then when they merged, they went to red and blue.

They merged their lights. That's a free fact of the day. That's a free fact of the day. Might be a new fact. You know what would secure this fact? A trip to Motat. Oh, yeah, yeah. Should we go to Motat?

Remember when we went and I went on the old TV2 bus? That was fun. Yeah. Yeah, That was fun. Yeah. Yeah, that was fun. You showed me your thingy in the back of the TV2 bus. And do you remember when we were walking to Friday Jams Live and I waved at the Motat train? And walked into a pole.

I walked into a pole. Because you were waving at the tram. Great memories at Motat. I love that tram. Yeah, Motat's a great time. Shout out to our Motat listeners. It's a free shout out to Motat. Thanks, Motat.

So it wasn't Motat. It wasn't a blue light disco. It was just a great time. Shout out to our Motat listeners. It's a free shout out to Motat. Thanks, Motat. So it wasn't Motat. It wasn't a blue light disco. It was just a school disco. Now, the last time there was a school disco, because I think COVID put a hold to the school discos. Last time there was a school disco, we went because the girls were so young. You think about it. Lame.

Oh, my God. How embarrassing, Dad. And we stood at the sides. I'm trying to get my patch on, Dad. There were like five and seven. Just getting back to the police car lights. I'm happy to go back to the police car lights. I'm showing you a photo from the 80s.

Look at that Falcon ute. The 80s, blue lights. So that's why they were called blue light discos, because the police put them on. And then in the 90s, when they merged with the Ministry of Transport, which were just traffic cops. Dude, those Mitsubishi Sigma V3000s they had as traffic cop cars absolutely hauled ass.

That's why they gave them away on Wheel of Fortune. Those were rockets. Celebrity squares or whatever. Celebrity squares. Three litre V6 in a small car like that. You weren't getting away From the cops in the outings This wasn't happening

Now Back to the disco It wasn't a blue light disco It was a school disco Was there much panic there or No panic at the disco Okay That was good

That was good August was the junior one That went from five to seven There wasn't any murder At the disco Was there any murder On the dance floor No murder on the dance floor?

No murder on the dance floor. That's good. Sophie, I'm a spexter. Yeah. Classic. Anything else you want to get out of the... No, I'll listen to you now. Yeah, I'll listen. Was there any dancing in the moonlight?

Was there any moon last night? I know there's no point trying to fight it, but I don't know if there was any dancing there. That's such an old song. Dancing in the moonlight. Could that please be our accompanying background song for the rest of Joab Metafighter? No, that's an old song. Dancing in the moonlight. Could that please be our accompanying background song for the rest of Joy Metaphonics? No, that's a terrible song.

Dancing in the moonlight. Oh. It's a terrible song. Top loader. I was doing the Thin Lizzy. Dancing in the moonlight. Oh, yes. She's got me in a spotlight.

So August went from five till seven. Sade went and picked her up. And that was fine. She got some takeaways on the way home. She came home. She still had the things on. She had a photo in front of some wings. She looked like she was at a full moon party in Thailand.

And that freaked me a little bit. Yeah, because it's not long until she will actually be at a full moon party one day. Yeah. And you know what happens with those. The things you do. Because you've been to them. The things you do. I was on fire at one day. Yeah. And you know what happens with those. Oh my God, the things you do. Because you've been to them. The things you do. I was on fire at one point.

Yeah. And so she came home and then Indies went from seven till nine. Oh my God. Nine. Duh. I was literally in bed

while the school disco was happening. Well, the school kids were partying. You were tucked up in bed. Yeah. So I went and picked her up and I went in.

You had to go in to get them. Yeah. And I was just hit with this wall of like warm, wet air. Yeah, gross. So I went and picked her up and I went in. You had to go in to get them. Yeah. And I was just hit with this wall of like warm, wet air. Yeah, gross. And I said, jeez, they don't have the doors open in there.

And Indy said, no, they didn't want kids nipping out into the darkness. And then Hayley Sproul just told me she slipped away from her school disco in form two to kiss her high school boyfriend,

which is yuck on his behalf. No, 13 and 12, that's not yuck. It's yuck on his behalf. There's the and 12, that's not yuck. It's yuck on his behalf. There's the barrier. There's the schooling barriers. You could almost be the same age, but if he's in high school and you're an intermediate, that's yuck on his behalf.

Funny, eh? So I said to Andy when we got to the car, I said, how was it? Like, how was your first intermediate age school disco? And she said, Dad, too hot. Yep. Way too hot. Yeah. Way too loud. Yeah. Too many people.

And to be honest, it went a bit long. Oh, my God. She's a smith. She's a smith. And I was, I expected a tear at some stage. The tear came in. I was like, that's my girl. That's my girl.

And her prime socializing. I loved going to the socials at intermediate. It was just like, I'm seeing these people that I've never seen in the dark before. Yeah. And her prime socialising. I loved going to the socials at Intermediate. It was just like, I'm seeing these people that I've never seen in the dark before. She was like, nah, too many people. Too loud, too long, too hot. Oh, no. She's definitely you.

Atta girl. I can see into her future. She's going to have all these cool friends that always invite her to things. She'll be like, nah. Nah. Can I drive and can I leave? Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. I really, really want to go and

I've got a new doctor and I really want to go to them and ask them to check my symptoms doctor. Doctor, I just got a new on my symptoms doctor. Have you actually got a new Oh my symptoms doctor Doctor Have you actually Got a new doctor

Well I'm dabbling I'm sleeping around At the moment Yeah cause I know That your favourite doctor left She moved away Oh my god

Thayer I miss you Oh my god We're gonna see you When we're in New Plymouth Would I be able To take this opportunity To apologise To general practitioners

Why I upset them earlier In the week With a bit of Bit of Silliness You did I was being very silly And of course I was just joking the general practitioners. Why? I upset them earlier in the week with a bit of silliness. You did. I was being very silly

and of course I was just joking. You do a wonderful job. Yep. You're not paid enough. I don't know, some of them are probably paid more than others. You have no choice

but to stand out doctors. Where? Doctor, doctor, doctor. Doctor, doctor, doctor. What are my symptoms, doctor? Doctor. No, they do. They work very hard.

Yeah, and I was just sort of taking liberties, shall we say. Yeah, yeah. Okay, that's one apology down for the day. I've got many to make. I have been a little bastard. Yes, you have. Now, this relationship expert, she became a relationship expert because she called herself a love addict. Oh, yeah. She was like chewing through, next, next, next, expert, she became a relationship expert because she called herself a love addict.

Oh, yeah. She was like chewing through, next, next, next, next, next. And so she went and studied psychology and became a relationship expert. She's revealed the four stages that couples go through within the first year of their relationship and the reason why most couples fail to make it to the second year. Why we're dabbling in these short-term relations. Well, short-term, one year. And she's split it into four stages.

The first stage is the zero to three months stage, which she calls the perfect phase. Well, because everything's new and exciting. Everything's new, exciting. Lots of adult fun times. Lots of adult fun times. You're also like your best self. You're trying to impress them.

You're trying to like, you know, you're not showing them the worst parts. The first three months, you don't even let out a fart, do you? Most of the time. When did, yeah, I used to get in my car and just offload. Like, honestly. What, from a whole night? Dude, I'd stay at Aaron's house for like two nights, three nights sometimes. And then I'd get in my car and just be like. Like yesterday when you were leaving work. Oh, my God, I'd stay at Aaron's house for like two nights, three nights sometimes And then I'd get in my car and just be like

Like yesterday when you were leaving work Oh my god, I know, my stomach, we went out for a bit of brekkie And something in my tummy during that meeting And I said to Vaughan, I was like, dude She's gonna explode Apologies to the Audi that I'm borrowing It has receivethed some gases So this is the perfect phase, right? We all know this phase quite well to the Audi that I'm borrowing. It has receivethed some gases.

So this is the perfect phase, right? We all know this phase quite well. Then you make the choice to move into the next phase, three to six months. She calls the imperfect phase, which is when, like, same thing. Like, you can't keep pretending you're this perfect person. So, you know, you stop sending those morning hun little messages. Maybe you're going to rip a hot fart under the sheets.

Intimacy tends to slow down even within three to six months. Okay. Wait until three to six years, guys. And you just start to reveal a bit more of yourself. So it's imperfect, but it's not terrible. Six to nine months is the negotiable phase. So you'll know a lot of your partner's faults at that point. And you'll start to debate within yourself as to like what is acceptable to you.

You know, you see some points about the person you're dating and you go, I don't like that so much. Are you willing to negotiate with yourself basically as to whether or not you accept that or you abandon? This is the key time of abandoning. Most people will leave about this point. Right. Because it's not all great anymore. You've got to decide how you're going to negotiate space, money, pay. Then the rent's going to be more.

Yeah, I know. Nine to 12 months if you can push. People who have survived, it's called the commitment phase. It's when you're starting to feel a bit secure. This isn't just another fling. This is getting kind of serious. Maybe they've met your parents at this point. It's prenup time though now, isn't it? If you haven't.

Nah, you're alright for another year. Are you? Yeah, you're alright. Two years. And then this is when you start to think about the future and whether or not you've already seen the good, you've seen the imperfect, you've seen the imperfect, you've decided to accept the imperfect, and now it's the commitment phase of whether you're going to keep on going.

So basically a lot of people dip out early on because they're like, it's not perfect. Newsflash, nothing is. No. Is that the podcast done? Because I'm busting for a poos. Busting for a poos. Jesus.

Give us a review. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.