ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Podcast Intro -30th March 2023

Episode Date: March 29, 2023

On today's Podcast Intro - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley discuss Fletch's Final Destination Moment!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe, drive through and get a cup of barista made coffee on the go. Guys, yesterday, I had a final destination moment. I am even lucky to be here. Oh my God. I am lucky to be here.

I've got tears in my eyes at the thought of you leaving. The earth. Life. Life. I am lucky to be here. I've got tears in my eyes at the thought of you leaving. The earth. Life. Life. The living realm. Thank you, that makes me feel wanted. What happened? So I was swimming yesterday, I was doing my lanes for fitness and somebody threw a toaster in. What? Oh my god,

into like a public pool. I think you'd need like, you would need like a giant toaster, right? I don't know. And also, do you know that when someone's electrocuted in the bath, the water has to be salty, right, to conduct the electricity? Is that right? No, no, no. I thought only salt water conducts electricity.

Normal water doesn't. Anything with minerals in it does. Well, I haven't. Minerals. You would not be having a bath in a water void of minerals. Yeah, okay. The minute you're in it, you're adding to it. What about if I've purified my bath water?

Yeah, because I buy plastic bottles of water and I pour it into the bath. And then you heat it. And then I heat it up slowly with a milk frother. Milk frother. Yeah. Well, no, so I'm swimming the lanes and then like I'm doing my lanes because I'm doing a kilometre. No big deal. Somebody puts a bag of piranhas in the pool.

Oh, my God. No. Because don't piranhas only like salt water? No, no. Or fresh water. Like chlorine would kill them pretty quick. But they'd probably be pretty angry. So they'd probably take a leg before they die.

So you would have to watch out in your bath with your purified bottled water because piranhas would love that. They'd lap it up. No. So I'm swimming along in the pool. Yeah. And I see people. And then someone puts a sandbag on your foot and drowns you.

Yeah. Concrete blood. No. Concrete blood. You've got to be sleeping with the fishes, boss. Hey, I asked you, where's my money? No, so I see out of the corner of my eye, there's like a lot of people gathering in the middle of the pool, in the middle lanes, standing.

Pool orgy. I almost died in a pool orgy too because I was on the bottom. Oh my God, you got on the bottom these are like pool like lifeguards and people that work there and they're all pointing up at the roof

and I'm like okay and then they start to like move some people out and put some cones and shut the middle three lanes how do they put a cone in a pool is it a floaty cone no they put a cone

at the top of the pool did you your brain imagined what I was imagining which is a big road cone like trying to bob in the water yes and then more people turn up there's like 10 or 15 council people pool. Did you, your brain imagined what I was imagining, which is a big road cone, like trying to bob in the water. And then more people turn up.

There's like 10 or 15 council people and contractors all just pointing up at the roof. What the hell is this? God. God himself is coming

down. Jesus is bad. Jesus. God was one of us. Swim lanes like one of us. And so they're like, they get people out of the pool, out of these middle lanes.

But I'm still allowed to swim in my lane on the side. Because you're in the slow lane. You're in the slow lane. You're in the ladies lane. I'm in the aqua jogging lane. I'm in this. Actually, no, it's a fast lane. Thank you.

Oh, wow. And so I get out. And all these people are just standing around watching. And over the middle of the pool that I swim at, there's a massive glass roof. Dome, yes. A dome roof. And one of the windows had like fully cracked that was above the swimming lanes

and so they were worried that it was just going to- Rain down. Rain down. Shard. Imagine a big shard. Yeah. And it goes through you and then just sticks you to the floor. And you're just like-

Yeah. And then you're down the bottom thinking, what if God was one of us? And then I leave and then they email everyone saying, oh, the pool's shut now. So like. You were close to death. I was close to being. I mean, I was a couple of lanes away.

I can understand closing the middle lanes, but you don't need to close the whole pool. Well, that's what I would have thought. Yeah, but what if it broke and then the wind came and it blew it to the side. Into the turtle lane? Stab the turtles. Into the elderly, angry, jogging lane. Into the tadpoles. Yeah.

I'm just saying, like, I could have died yesterday, guys. Has it given you a new perspective on life? Yeah, that's why I'm going to breakfast with you now. Oh, because life's too short. I'm breaking my healthy eating routine. Yeah, life's too short for salad. Yeah healthy eating routine Yeah Life's too short for salad Yeah exactly He's the easiest one

To break his healthy routine No I am not Like he is so easy You are the easy one to break I'm the easy one I just haven't managed To get into any healthy routine I'm like finally getting there

Oh you were good for a while I know I'm still like Exercising and stuff But my eating's not Didn't you No you went to the gym the other day Didn't have shoes So you went home

Oh yes I went home Yeah Fuck that No they won't let you. Oh, yes, I went home. Fuck that. No, they won't let you in without shoes. And then I got home and I was like, I'm not going back now. No, you put socks on and then wear your Birks. That's a shoe.

Covered shoe. That's a covered toe. Yeah, it's a covered toe. Does that count as a covered toe? It's a loophole. It's a giant. That's bullshit. The Birks were grateful with it. They're not stopping a 20kg weight falling on your toe and causing a toe amputation.

This is true.