ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Best Bits Podcast - 11th July 2020

Episode Date: July 10, 2020

Our fancy new compilation podcast filled to the brim with the best moments from Fletch, Vaughan & Megan this week!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, it's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Welcome to the Best Bits of the Week podcast, brought to you by McCafé. Grab yourself a delicious barista-made coffee for only $4. Yes, that's right. It's a podcast that required no extra effort on our behalf, but hopefully we'll see a skyrocket up the podcast charts because it's an extra podcast per week. ZM. Hit music. Live ZM. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan's Radio Tinder. Ooh. Sexy. It's just like Tinder, but on the radio.

More confrontational. Joining us in studio to play our first ever round of Radio Tinder is Rochelle. Good morning. Morena. How are you? I'm extremely excited to meet some potential husbands, maybe. So are you on Tinder at the moment?

I go on and off. It's a bit of a, you get a bit sick of it and you jump off and then you're like, ah, I'm bored again and jump back on again. Have you ever matched with producer Jared, who famously during lockdown got 400 matches? Look, I'm very impressed by this. And maybe if this doesn't work out, then maybe I can swipe right on a

producer out there. And she's met you in person. Okay, look, if this doesn't work... We're just going like that. No, I just meant like that's even better swipe. And she's seen you as how that sounds. I meant like she's met him in person already so that's like an extra swipe.

Okay, no friend zoning here. Do you like boba tea? Yeah, I've heard that. You've got to chew it. It was a riveting discussion. I'm going to chew the balls. Now, so how Radio Tinder works is we're going to find out a bit about you now, Rochelle, and then we're going to ask guys to call, and you're going to swipe on them on the radio after we learn a bit about them.

Cool. So it is going to be quite brutal. But let's find out about you first. Now, what do you do for a job? I'm a primary school teacher, so I work with year 7 and 8, so that's 11 to 13 year olds. Wow, just before they head off to college, yeah? Oh, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, and so hence holidays at the moment? Yeah, and I'm pretty bored already, so I'm here. Aren't you meant to say we do lots during the holidays? Oh, we do, but we need a holiday first. Okay, yeah, fair call. How long was your longest relationship? Would have been about seven months, and it was when I was in America. Okay.

What did you do in America? Oh, the typical worked at a summer camp, but I worked with special needs children and learnt sign language and stuff like that. I know. Did you learn American sign language or New Zealand? I learned American, then came back to New Zealand and learnt New Zealand sign language.

Is there much difference? Yes, pretty different. A few Zs in there. Yeah, the Z is this, whereas American alphabet's all on one hand, which makes it easier to, like, multitask. Oh. Yeah. Okay.

So what are you looking for in a guy? Physical or? My must-haves is somebody that can look after themselves at a party that I can take to an event. That is a great one. I'm not here to babysit. I do that during the week. I don't want to do that in the weekend.

It's really sexy when you've taken your boyfriend for the first time to a party and they can handle themselves. And they're talking with the lads over there and you're with the girls over there. Am I allowed to go sit in the car? Is that concentrate looking after yourself? As long as you're ready to take me home later when I'm like blackout. I'll just be listening to Talk Back in the car. I'm going to knock on the window when you're ready to go home.

God, it's lucky you're married. I hate going to parties. What is your age range on Tinder go home. God, it's lucky you're married. My ego buddies. What is your age range on Tinder? What kind of guy do you want to call up now? I'm not, like, I don't have an age preference. Okay. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. But above 26, nothing above maybe 35.

Okay. It's a pretty big range, I feel. I don't know. Okay. It's a pretty big range, I feel. I don't know. Okay. What else do we need to know? Is there any physical attributes? I love good lush hair. You bitch.

How dare you come into our kingdom and taunt us with foreign treasure. Okay. All right. Have we found out enough info? Would you have any hobbies? So I own a cheerleading gym, competitive cheerleading, and I coach that in the weekends, and I travel internationally taking young elite athletes overseas.

And if you've seen cheer, I'm pretty much Monica. Right. Alright. I thought you were about to say I own a chairlift. I was like, cool. That would be cool too, but... You own a chairlift?

You have to own the fountain or... No one just owns a chairlift. I know. I got really excited because I thought you were about to say chairlift. And I was like, cool. Maybe you got a luge as well. Okay. All right.

Well, right now we want to play Radio Tinder. We want to come back next. So if you're a guy and you've been listening and you think, well, heck, this sounds like a bit of me. Rochelle sounds great. I've got a lush inner hair and I can look after myself at a party. Fleet Fortnum Egan's Radio Tinder.

So it's like Tinder, but it's on the radio so it's a little more brutal. We have Rochelle in studio who is looking to meet her future husband. I don't know if she said that. She did. I'm quoting. I'm looking forward to possibly meeting a potential husband.

You never know what you're looking for. That's just honest. That's what everyone's, you know. If you're not going to, like, settle down, then what's the point? Sure. Okay, well, so I guess what we'll do is we'll get, we've got guys calling up now, 0800DARLS.M. I guess you just ask them a few questions,

and then just like you would on Tinder, swipe left or right at any stage. Cool. All right, let's firstly meet AJ. Good morning, AJ. Oh, g'day, mate. How's it going? It's good. All right, well.

AJ, meet Rochelle. Hello, AJ. How are you going? I'm going wonderful. Now, I've got a question for you. Oh, straight in. Yeah, straight into it. For Super Rugby, which team would you be going for?

Oh, Super Rugby. I don't really follow. You're a bit like the breaker. I do love, like, that's kind of my dream date would be going to a rugby for rugby. I don't really follow. Ooh. You're a bit like a breaker. I do love, like, that's kind of my dream date would be going to a rugby game and eating some warm, some overpriced chips and warm beer. Oh, no.

Nothing more romantic than that. So who's your team then, Rochelle? If it's either the Blues or the Crusaders, depending on who's actually playing at the time. Family goes for Crusaders, but I'm in Auckland, so I think I have to go for the Blues. Right.

Okay. Well, you haven't had to for many years, but they're doing okay. I know, they're doing fantastic, so now I'm okay to say I go for them. It's all right to support them again, yeah. And they've got Dan Carter, so... Yeah. Okay, any more questions or are we swiping?

Um... Okay, one more question. All right. I have never seen the TV show Breaking Bad. What... I know. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. What series are you ashamed to say you've never seen? Good question. Oh, series. I've also never seen Breaking Bad, but maybe Game of Thrones. Me too. What are you, me too?

Oh, you guys have all changed. That's great. You guys have got a lot of TV that you can watch. You've got a lot of TV that you can watch. Yeah. All right. We can swipe right. We can swipe right on this. Are we swiping right?

Let's swipe right. Let's swipe right. Is that a good one? Yeah. That is the good one. Vaughn's never used Tinder. All right. Well, AJ, congratulations.

We're going to put you in touch with Rochelle. Sonny joins us for Radio Tinder. Good morning, Sonny. Good morning. How are you? Good. I was hoping KJ's going to hear all your next dates. Sonny already knows all the answers to like the dream date stuff.

I just have to say yes or no, right? That's the answer. Alright. So my plan in the future is to travel overseas. If you were to join me, where would be the first stop in our vacation? Oh, I quite like the vibe of Caribbean. So maybe around Costa Rica, Cuba.

Oh. Yes. That sounds fun. Remember, I've seen a jaguar in Costa Rica. It's a beautiful country. All the mojitos, mate. Yeah. Yes. I want to swipe right on Sonny. I think you're welcome to. Costa Rica. It's a beautiful country. All the mojitos, mate. Yeah! I want to swipe right on Sonny.

I think you're welcome to. I'll step back if you want. Radio grinder. This is how radio grinder would work. You can't drink beer in five minutes. I finish work at nine. See you in there. Stop talking. We've talked too much.

Send me a picture of your job. Stop. Radio grinder. Anyway, back to us. Yeah. That's good. I'm hearing a bit of an accent. Is that correct?

Hearing an accent? Yes. If you are, yes. And what would that be? Do you want to have a guess? Do you speak another language? I do. Can you say something to me in that language that's appropriate for the rodeo? Yeah.

Namaste. She doesn't know. me in that language that's appropriate for the rodeo yeah um namaste he doesn't know there's a lot of pressure okay i don't teach geography at school uh do you have any questions for me, Sonny? Outside rugby, what other sport do you like, if you like? I'll tell you what I don't like. It's golf because my dad tried to force me into it growing up, and it's just a little bit slow, but I love netball. I'm down for some netball games. I was in Prem's netball for about a week before I realised it was way too hard.

And I have gotten into sailing. My flatmate's into sailing, so we watch a bit of sailing. I kind of get it now. You try and make a triangle or something, and then the wind pushes you, and the winning boat boat wins i don't know something like that all right are we swiping left or right left oh oh sorry sonny that's all good mate it's okay you're cool i thought you were gonna swipe right I thought you were going to swipe right! I thought you were going to swipe right!

Look, you know, you've got to be a bit picky these days, don't you? Oh, my God, that was brutal. I thought you were all going to go. Sunny, you're cool, I promise. Henry, Henry, good morning. Yeah, g'day, mate. How's it going? Good.

G'day, mate. How's it going? How's it going? Yep, yep. Hey, Rochelle, how are you going? I'm going great, Henry. Question for you is, what do you have planned for today? Oh, today, I'm actually on the late shift at work,

so I'm just up having a bit of breakfast and hanging out and thought I'd just give you a call. That's basically it. That's wonderful. Yeah. What's for breakfast, and can you cook me breakfast? For breakfast today, I've just cooked up some scrambled eggs, and yeah, I'm usually pretty handy in the kitchen, to be honest,

so maybe some eggs benedict. That's good. I'm pretty useless in the kitchen, unfortunately. Often going for the takeaways or just some easy pasta. Right. He sounds like he's got an accent too. Do you have an accent, Henry? I might slightly have an Australian accent.

That's all right, look. Vaughan, you're not dating Henry. Well, Vaughan swipes left on you, but... Which way are you swiping? Swipe right. Oh! OK, Henry, congratulations. You might have to come down to Christchurch if you want me to cook you some dinner, though. Oh, Ooh! Okay, Henry, congratulations. You might have to come down to Christchurch

if you want me to cook you some dinner, though. Oh, I'm down for that. Oh, are we swiping the other way now? No. No, that's fine. I love travel. I love travel. Christchurch is beautiful.

There we go. All right, thanks, Henry. We go now to Anthony Last for Radio Tinder. Anthony, good morning. Morning. How are you getting on, you as well? Hello, Anthony. Michelle's draw just dropped.

Wow, something that actual Tinder doesn't give you, the accents. Yeah, yeah, true. Whereabouts in Ireland are you from? I'm from Dublin. I feel like her voice just changed. She's like, we're about to... Hi, Anthony.

Lovely to meet you. It feels like no further questionings really needed, does it? Am I ready in the room right there? This feels like a super like. Is that a thing? It is. Oh, yeah, we don't have a super like. We never thought about a super like.

Do you like rugby? Do you like rugby? Do you like rugby? I'd watch now Ireland play or the All Blacks, but I don't really watch Super League or anything like that. It's okay. I can teach you. It's fine. It's fine.

Don't need anything else but the accent. Well, that was very quick, Anthony. Congratulations. Who knew all you needed was an Irish accent? Yeah. Thanks. Can you sing Oh Danny Boy? This is just for me.

It's not really for her. Okay. Do you want to go for it? Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes. From glint to glint. That was good. Fantastic. That's a lot of taste.

Brilliant. Excellent. I'll hear the rest on our first date. Sorry. It's all right. Look, I never stood a chance. I never stood a chance. All right.

Congratulations, Anthony, getting through there with Radio Tinder. Was that three matches? Three matches. Not bad. Oh, wild. Yeah, wild. Well, you have to let us know how you get on. Oh.

Yeah. It's so much more know how you get on. Oh. Yeah. It's so much more brutal, though, on the radio. Radio date? Is that the next segment? Is that where we go to next? Maybe, yeah. It's like Radio Bachelorette. Yeah.

Especially to see Anthony, I think. We need pictures of him. Anthony, send a picture through. Calm down. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Producer Jared, we've mentioned this a few times, really reeled in the Tinder matches over lockdown. 400, 400 plus.

Yeah. And then like a good whiskey or a good wine, he cast that and let it mature. And now he's decided to start. Going on some dates. Or drinking the wine. Crack that barrel open and see what's come of these some 400 matches. And apparently he's been on a date.

Yeah, I had a date over the weekend. How's Tinder been since lockdown? Because everyone was bored at home, and now that they're allowed to go outside, has it quietened down? Yeah. I don't know if that's just from me, but yeah. It's definitely slowed down a bit. Maybe everybody made some really positive connections over lockdown.

And everyone's in a relationship. And they're working their way through the Rolodex of options that they have accrued for themselves. Right. So was this an old match or a new match? It was an old match and I actually slid into her DMs just before we went on holiday. Okay, so a week ago. And what were you just like, was she going to date?

What was your pick-up line? What did you say? I think I commented on whatever she posted, like replied to it in the DMs. Like cool waterfall. It was probably like the hands emoji. Oh, yeah. Okay. No, wait.

The hands up? Hands up, yeah. Kind of the praise. Hallelujah. Yeah. Praise the roof. Okay. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, so we talked for a while, and then we were like, yeah, let's hang out. Who decided, though? Like who initiated the date? Me. Yeah, definitely me hang out. Who decided, though? Like, who initiated the date? Me. Yeah, definitely me. Okay, all right.

But it was a group decision on the activities we got up to. It's a group now. A group. A two-person decision. Mutual. Mutual, yeah. Okay, yeah, because I thought things just got a bit kinkier. She's like, I'm bringing some friends.

Yeah, so all 12 of us went to town. Yeah, awesome. All right, okay, so where did Yeah, so all 12 of us went to town. Yeah, awesome. All right, okay, so where did you decide to go? We did go to town, so we went out for a boba tea, if you guys have ever had a boba tea. I love boba tea. That was my first, like, proper experience. You know, is that the big slimy balls?

The tapioca balls. Yeah. I don't like the texture. I don't like the texture. Yeah, it was a bit weird. And the big straws. The thick straw. Massive straws, big straw The thick straw

Massive straw Yeah the thick straw And you gotta get it going And you have to You have to really like Puncture the top To get it in And I made a hell of a mess

And sometimes the bubbles Go straight down You're like I know like You haven't even swallowed They just go You're supposed to chew them Because they can be

Different flavours To the liquid Oh I didn't know You meant to chew them They were too slimy And all What the hell When I ate it,

I was just like. They're flavoured. Okay. The whole experience. Oh, yuck. No, it's not for me. It's just like jelly. I think I've missed

the boat on that Bubba tea. Bubba tea? Bubba tea or bubble tea. Bubble tea. Yeah, okay. Also, it's Bubba. Bubba.

It's a brand, isn't it? Bubba tea? Oh, right. So that was the. Bubble tea. Yeah, I don't know too much about it. It was nice though yeah quite

delicious okay all right then what happened on the date um then we went for a wander and we went to one of those shisha bars jesus yep bubble tea than a shisha yeah it's two opposite ends of it it really isn't it isn't it like a thousand cigarettes yep something like that yeah right at once is it is God, is it? Is it? Well, I remember. My hardest part about the shisha bar is sitting on the mat because, you know, I can't sit on the ground because I can't cross my legs.

You can't sit on the most modest table. I can't find a comfortable way to sit on the ground. Right. You guys are going to place it with seats. Don't worry, I go authentic when I go shisha. I know when we went to Dubai and we went into the desert and did it, we were all just like, how many cigarettes did we just smoke?

Yeah. I've just Googled, according to research carried out by the World Health Organisation, the volume of smoke inhaled... Who?

I'm not falling for that again because you've got me twice already with that. The volume of smoke inhaled in an hour-long shisha session is estimated to be the equivalent of smoking between 100 and 200 cigarettes.

Oof. Oof. Holy shit. But it tastes like apples. Watermelon. One gulp of shisha is equivalent to smoking 10 cigarettes. Oh, my. According to another doctor.

Goodness gracious me. Oh, my jeez, Louise. Never again. Wow. Good Lord. That's crazy. Okay, so you've bobed, you're shisha'd. Never again. Wow. Good Lord. That's crazy. Okay, so you bobed, you sheeshed.

You had 100 ciggies, equivalent. Watermelon flavour. Yeah, then we hung out a little bit more and I dropped her home. Was there... Okay, well that's exciting.

Yeah. Was there a kiss? There may have been a little smooch. Oh, okay. Okay, good. Was there a smooch? There was a smooch, yeah.

Okay, and then what happened? That's it. Are you on a secondch? There was a smooch, yeah. Okay. And then what happened? Are you the second date? She called me while I was driving home. Oh, this is it. This is either really good or really bad. Or I've left my sunglasses in your car. Like how long into the drive? It was about a half an hour drive and I was about 10 minutes away from home.

Okay. Did you pull over or keep driving? Hands free. Okay, good, alright. Oh, let's take bets.

Okay, so who thinks it was like, turn around, get back here, stud muffin. Who thinks it was that? I'm calling that

tech. I'm going for let's have another date, that was fun. Okay, so that's kind of, I'm trying to think what I would,

if I was calling 20 minutes after they left, I'd probably be like, turn around and come back. Yeah. It all depends on the person, eh? There's a bit of a girl code about how quickly you should be in contact, isn't there? Yeah. But then if you kiss, you'd be like, okay, well he's keen. You'd just be like, shit, turn around and come back.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or, okay. That's what I reckon. Yeah. But then I was always thinking, the girl thing is you don't want to seem too keen, right? But then you always read that guys quite like it when you act keen, as long as they're keen.

Guys, yeah. I don't know. Well, let's, Jared, what happened? She said, hey, I had a really great time. Okay. I think we should hang out again. Oh, yeah. As friends.

Oh, my God. Why did she ring to say that? Why not text? Personal touch, I guess. She decided 20 minutes she had to say, yo, we're just friends. Friends, yeah. Oh, babe. Now, do you think it was the bubble tea that put you into the friends?

It might have been. It might have been. It might have been. Potentially. Next time, open with, you go to the whiskey bar first. You've got to try these things. Bubble tea didn't work. And you want to drink, so you've got to go to the opposite end of bubble tea, which is a dark, dank whiskey bar.

Yeah, right. Okay. Well then you've got 399 other matches on tinder nah i deleted tinder oh how mean were you she spent 20 minutes wondering how she was going to call you and be like all right how do i friend zone this guy you spent 20 minutes being like delete tinder no i deleted tinder after she shut me down i was just like no i've had enough buddy but what because you were hurt. I was a little bit sad. But now you've lost the other matches.

You'll never get 400 matches again unless we go back into lockdown. Don't be mean. No, it was a lot. We're saying that it was a lockdown.

You just deleted the app. The account still exists, right? I did both. Oh, no. You just like did an absolute like burn off. Yep. Yep. It did an absolute, like, burn off. Yep.

Yep. It was an emotional time. Time-breaking. What a rollercoaster that was, eh? Wow. And then you celebrated on Sunday by playing Dungeons & Dragons with the boys. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Who needs a man? Did you tell her about that on the date? No, that didn't come up. Okay. It's just one night. I reckon she probably would have called you 10 minutes after you dropped her off. Fletch, Vaughn and Megan, the podcast. ZM.

Fletch, Vaughn and Megan's Community Notices. Hello there and welcome to Community Notices. Let's start on pre-loved items Gisborne, where Lindley writes, does anybody want some cornflour? For free.

It was Dad's, but he's gone into a rest home and I don't use it. Pictured, white bag of cornflour. Yeah, that looks like a white bag of something else. Comment, as you can expect, can we be sure it's cornflour? And she said, yes, I've tried it. But surely you just pop this tiny bag of something else. Comment, as you can expect, can we be sure it's cornflour? And she said, yes, I've tried it. But surely you just pop this tiny bag of cornflour

in the cupboard for the next time you're making a stew and you haven't got the thickness you required. Oh, yeah, true. Or in the bin, yeah. Like, yeah, like just buy some more if you need some. And that this cornflour, Megan, you maybe know more about cornflour because you'd use it at the cafe, I'd imagine,

or just for culinary excursions. Does it have a best before? No, I don't think so. Cornfloury? I'd be more worried about weevils, you know. Yeah, you don't want to bring weevils into your other dry goods, do you? No. Does flour go off?

No, I don't think so. Does flour go off? No. I don't think so. Huh. Your baking soda and powder does. I know soda loses it. Does it? It's soda-y.

Yeah. Sodaness. Because I've had baking soda in the pantry for ages. Oh, don't be making a volcano because you won't be getting the squirt out of your vinegar and soda that you want.

One thing, I used some in my last banana cake because it doesn't go in banana cake. I don't know. It was a good banana cake. Soda would make it rise. The powder in the soda

gets you... Unless it was old. Oh God, I'm going to have to buy some more soda then, aren't I? Sounds like a good idea to me. Just to be safe.

Yeah. Why not list your old stuff on the local community board? While we're on the East Coast, let's pop down to the Boycott Online Community Hastings Napier page. Laura asks, this is out of

the red. Colourblind when it comes to sayings. This is out of the red, but does anyone know if you got to pay to get a divorce? Oh, okay. Sort of a public declaration that there's a divorce pending there.

Let's cross to our divorcee on the show, Megan. You do, actually. You have to pay to file the paperwork. What costs more, getting married, just the paperwork? Getting married. The paperwork of getting married. No, getting a divorce does. Does it?

Yeah. How much is the paperwork for a divorce? $150, $120. Does that include a name change? No, you can change your name for free if it's a marriage. Do you get a deal, like a bundle deal? Do you get a bundle deal? What, for all your divorces?

Yeah, no, for marriage and then divorce. Oh, no. Because, you know, sometimes you bundle. But you have to buy that when you get married. Your partner's like, what's... You've bought a combo. The receipt's got a... What is this?

The one... Yeah, they upsold me. Yeah. Ah! Just in case. $40 cheaper if we get divorced, so I thought, why not? Okay, if you're getting married at the registry office, it costs $240, including ceremony, or $150

is just what it costs to apply for a marriage license. $211.50 is the fee for applying for a divorce. And that's if you don't have lawyers and all, if you don't have to go to court and stuff. But how much do you reckon you could get for your ex-husband's PlayStation on Trade Me? Because that could cover the divorce fee. Do you reckon I'd get like 200 bucks? What is it, a PlayStation what? Four.

Yeah, I think you probably would. Okay, you'd cover your cost. You've got the PlayStation 5 coming out soon though, so. Hurry up and sell it. Yeah, sell that before people get, you know, eyes on the prize for a five. Yeah, it'll be a flooded market. Now that we've covered the cost of divorce and that coming out of the red,

let's pop in for some cat drama on the Rolleston community page. Paul writes, unwanted cat. My son got a cat and it's been living on my property for months. I have no pet policy and I don't want this cat here. I've called the SPCA and they told me they would take it if they had space but told me to try to rehome it on this page. The SPCA said, as the landowner, if the cat has lived there for over three months, then legally the cat is mine and I am free to remove it.

I have very few details of this cat. All I know is that it's black and grey and about six months old. Contact me if you want the cat. Why doesn't he get his son to? Charlie has commented. No one is taking our cat. We've been house-sitting my mums and we'll be back in a few nights. No one is taking the cat.

So the son who bought the cat has been away, not looking after the cat. Oh, wow. And someone said, I am collecting the cat, yes. No, no, you are not taking our cat. Onwards goes the debate. Has the cat got a home? Someone said yes.

And then Charlie says, Gucci is homed. Gucci. And he is my cat. He has a home. Oh no. Gucci will not be leaving the house. I thought it was called Gucci. Gucci, yeah, that's a great name for a cat. Great name for a cat.

And what's the latest? Where did that leave? That's where it was ended. Oh, no. We don't know where Gucci is. I need to know that Gucci's okay. It hasn't been rehomed. It's renamed.

It's renamed. Versace or something. Charlie will be Devo. I'll be absolutely Devo. And finally, from the Whitby community page, someone says, hello all. I know this sounds strange, but I'm dead serious. Is anybody else finding random pineapples in their litter box?

Wait, whole pineapples? Or tins? Whole pineapples. Oh, that's inexpensive. Because that's what Dylan's question was. Whole pineapples? Question hand on face emoji? And someone said, yes, whole pineapples. I'm honestly so confused and it keeps happening.

Do you eat them? I'm not wasting a pineapple. They take three years to grow. And we treat them like garbage. They're not a one season wonder like an apple. Sure, you waste an apple, big deal. You waste a pineapple, that's three years. That pineapple took to grow.

But do you trust eating one that turned up in your litter box? Absolutely. Okay. There it is. There's your answer, folks. Trust mystery pineapples. Those are today's community notices. If you see anything, you can screen cap it and send it to our Facebook page, FVMZM.

Keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier. NZ Herald's new podcast, The Front Page, is your short, sharp daily news podcast. Join me, Damien Venuto, every weekday morning as I chat with journalists and newsmakers going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest news stories of the day.

Listen to The Front Page at nzherald.co.nz slash podcasts and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Last night I went to bed early. I got an early night because today we're going to the zoo. Oh, where was my invite? I love the zoo.

Have you been? I've done the. You know, I love the zoo. I've done the new, there's a new orangutan enclosure and stuff. Oh, I love orangutans. Yeah. Tans or orangutans? Because I say orangutans. It's got a G, but. Orangutans. No, it doesn't have a T.

It's a tan. No, a G in the middle. Yeah. Orangutan. Tans. Because I say orangutans. No, no, no. Don't give it a double G. Let me just confirm that. I don't want to set anybody astray. Orangutans. Tans. Because I say orangutans. No, no, no. Don't give it a double G.

Let me just confirm that. I don't want to set anybody astray. Orangutans. Orangutamariki is not what I'm after. Orangutan. It's a primate. No G on the end. Orangutans.

Orangutan. Okay. Also spelt orangutan. What? Both spellings are acceptable. Huh. Okay. Glad that we figured that out. Yep. Right. Are acceptable. Huh. Okay. Glad that we figured that out.

Yep. Right. Are acceptable. Fantastic. So we were going to go see the orangutans today. And that meant I wouldn't have time to exercise after work, so I was going to go before. So at 3 o'clock, the alarm goes off after the cat had meowed at the door

for a significant part of the evening. Okay. So I was like, well, you've got to get these things. Get up and get it. Got to get those gains, bro. The gains aren't going to get themselves. You've got your protein delivered to work. Correct.

You're big on the gains at the moment. It's just trying to be a bit healthier. Yeah, good. After the lockdown puds. The lockdown puds. A lot of puds. We all had lockdown puds. Led to a bit of pud.

Yeah. So off I went to the gym and I'm driving. I'm not on my phone or anything. It is pitch black. It is raining and I come around a corner and what is in the middle of the road? A tree is in the middle of the road. Oh, goodness. Now using my defensive driving from Ace's Driving 1997, Vaughan Smith.

Trying to get his license quicker so he does a defensive driving course. I learned that swerving to avoid going onto the other side of the road in a wet road could lead to me flip, flip, flipping down the road or ending up in the ditch on the other side of the road. So I don't slam on my brakes. I do my best to slow down without locking the wheels. Yep. And I deviate slightly as to not hit the main part of the tree.

Good. Driving from you. Good. Instantaneous. Yeah. I do, however, hit the main part of the tree good driving from you good instantaneous yeah um i do however hit the tree and okay is it the 80 speed limit will you hit it yes yeah yeah i wasn't going fast that is lucky you went on you went on your phone i would have gone straight through it yeah so it was over a significant so it went and straight And straight afterwards, I was like, whoa. And I stopped and I was like,

listen, it's all right to me. See, I can't hear anything. It's like... Did you get out of the car? I was on an unlit, dark section of highway. Vaughan Smith,

defensive driving course, 1997 tells me that would have been very dangerous. Yeah, it would have been. And it was a corner and it was raining. Yep.

So I carried on to my destination, the gym, where it was at that stage that I thought I will now inspect the damage as they haven't hurt anything and the car has continued to drive remarkably well. Did you get rid of the tree or was it too big?

Way too big. Did you tell anyone? Yep. Okay, good. I rung a number. Okay. I rung 111, told the fire people, but I also put on the community page, this is what's happened.

Okay. And I lightened the mood by saying, if anybody finds bits of my wing mirror, you can have those for free. I've been, someone's not taken that as a joke this morning and called me lazy for not cleaning up the mess I left on the road. I said, I think the tree's the bigger issue, but that's fine.

So I get to the gym, I inspect it. It's completely smashed my wing mirror on the passenger side. Right. That's an issue. And also the little light that's below the headlight is hanging out, but that's solved. I just whack that back in. Right. That's an issue. And also the little light that's below the headlight is hanging out, but that's solved. I just whack that back in. Right.

And it goes back in. Because at that stage, I'm like, oh, I need to get something out of the car. Okay. And I go around to the driver's side and the door is locked. So I put my key in to unlock it and it won't move. Right. So there's no, I can't unlock my car. Do you have a beep beep?

No, Megan, that broke many moons ago. And then the car stopped accepting it and it stopped working. I don't know which happened first, but they are both out of order. Yeah. So then I'm locked and I'm like, what do I do? I say, well, I'm here to go to the gym. This can be solved on the elliptical cross trainer. Yep.

Okay. So I'm on the elliptical cross trainer, Bluetooth headphones connected to phone, ringing 24 hour locksmiths. Okay. Four I tried. Okay. And I will tell you now, 24 hours is a term that they use very lightly. As all of them went ring,

ring, ring, ring, answer phone. Try them again. Ring, ring, ring,

ring, ring, four of them twice, eight calls in total. No one picked up the phone. Are you calling all 24-hour locksmiths liars? I am. I'll go on record.

Call them all liars. Previously this, I had rung my roadside rescue that comes with my insurance package and they told me that they don't deal with locks. This was them. Hello? Hello, is this Roadside Assist? Yeah. I'm locked out of my car.

Not my area, mate. I was like, what? No, you were in a locksmith. Had you woken him up? But that's his assistance. I know I need, and it was indeed Roadside Assistance. Yeah. As the name indicates.

Yeah. It doesn't have an asterisk saying, except if you're locked out of your car. Except key-based issues. Yeah. And I had nothing to get into the car. Yeah, right. Try as I might, I found a harakeke flax bush.

I tried to use that in the fashion of the thing that you put in through the seal and pop the lock up. That didn't work. Oh, yeah, okay. So it was at that stage, I was off the elliptical cross trainer, and the stress had caused me to need to defecate. So there, I... We'll leave that out ofecate. So there I...

Don't leave that out of the story. It's probably the elliptical that caused you. Oh, because I haven't told you guys this. I was thinking about leaving it out. But it's also, it adds to the shitstorm, pun intended, that has been my day so far. I relieve myself while Googling how to break into a 2,300-a-quarter.

I mean, this is one of the most stolen cars every year. How is it so hard to break into a 2,300-a-quarter. I mean, this is one of the most stolen cars every year. Yeah. How is it so hard to break into? And it's at that stage I flush, and the toilet fills all the way to the top and continues to fill. And it's one of those flushes that once you've pushed it, there's no stopping it.

So my reactions from previous experience of dodging that tree and not flipping the car. Lightning quick, I grab the toilet brush and start stabbing it. And the thing continues to fill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, please, no more. And it gets right to the top and it stops filling. But then I'm left with the fill.

And the toilet brush is too short. I'm holding on to the top inch of the toilet brush going, come on, no, no, no. This is not what I need. And then eventually it went. Oh, that's fuel. I was like, is this the turning point of my day? Has this been a change of the tides? Yeah.

And I flick my good friend Megan a message, who I know takes the same road to work. And I say, hey, buddy. Hey, mate. Hey, mate. Hey, mate. Hey, mate. What time do you head to work? Because I know you're always here when I get here.

And I didn't hear back from Megan for so long. I was literally going back up to the gym to grab one of those weights bars. Yeah. You know, the bench press ones? Yeah. And I was just going to come out and just be like, psh, and smash the window with it. Oh, yeah.

And then take it back upstairs and always wipe your equipment. Yeah. And I was just going to come out and just be like, and smash the window with it. Oh, yeah. And then take it back upstairs and always wipe your equipment. Yeah. And then replace it. And the weights thing. Yeah. And I was just about to do that when Megan messaged, oh, no, yeah, I'm just leaving home. I'll be there in 10 minutes.

Damn it. If you've waited two more minutes. I would have had to have smashed the window. Yeah. So there's a note on my car saying, please don't give me a ticket because that's the other thing. It's parked in a 90 minute park which it's now been there for

four and a half hours. And I said please don't ticket this car. This is the issue. The barrel is broken. And also if you are going to tow it, could you tow it to my house? Contact me for my address if you wish to tow it.

It's going to look stolen. The light's broken. The wingman is broken. Snatched off. It's abandoned with a note saying, please don't ticket me. So yeah, that's, I got here. That's your morning.

I had to have a treat from the Venue Mission. Apricot yogurt cupboard muesli bar. Yeah, and then I ate it and I looked and it's got 400 calories in it. I got up early this morning to earn those calories and I didn't get to. Granted, that poo would have been worth 800 at least. But now they've got 400 in it. Muesli bars have 400 calories in them.

We're giving those to children to scoff down like there's no tomorrow. Oh, God. Wow. They're all right, buddy. And you know what? You'll probably get to the zoo and their orangutans will be sleeping. I'll fall in. And then they'll have to euthanise one of them

because they're going to have a harambe on your hands. And then I'll be the guy that was so stupid he leant on a bar that wasn't there, fell into the orangutan or tan enclosure and they'd have it put to sleep. Jesus. What a day. Flesh, fauna, Megan. The podcast. ZM. Went to the wreckers yesterday to get a new wing mirror after I hit a tree on the way to sleep. Jesus. What a day. Went to the Wreckers yesterday to get a new wing mirror after I hit a tree on the way to work.

Come a bit hot there today. It's not the same colour as my car. Oh no! So I haven't put it on yet. Do I paint it? Do I just buy a can, a rattle can? And just give it that

Oh my god! You're so tight! Paint it. Yeah. Do I just buy a can, a rattle can? Oh, no, no, no. And just give it that... Oh, my God, Vaughn, you're so tight. Why didn't you get a black one? Why don't you just... Okay, at the risk of sounding like Fletch, just maybe, like, get a new car. I don't want to. This one's verging on dangerous.

No. No, because that's when you were driving to work and you lost all steering. That was ages ago. That was an electrical issue. That's been sorted. I sorted that out. That was an electrical issue.

He's just hanging on. It's like, please put me out of my misery. I don't know how this car gets warrants. It does get warrants from a reputable warranted fitness dealer, so it's fine. It's doing fine. So I went to the wreckers yeah to get this um colored mirror what color same because your car's black gray oh i'm gonna paint it can you get two gray ones at least and then it's got great ears highlights highlights like getting it get the sick naons. Get the sick naons. Okay, get some sick naons. Okay, so I got there, and they were watching Top Gear.

It'd be weird if they were watching Masterchef or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Top Gear's on in the reception, and I've rung ahead somewhere apparently, but then a guy goes looking for it, and he's gone. I think I'm sat there for 20 minutes. Anyway, what I witnessed, I feel, I was happy to invest my 20 minutes for the story.

I've told a lot of people this story since it happened. And here is the story. On the floor were some springy looking things that go in a car. Springs? Springs? Shock absorbers? Springs? Suspension? I don't know.

Look, I played my fair share of Gran Turismo but I didn't read what was in it. I just chucked in the most expensive ones that I could afford after I raced through the desert. But anyway, they were on the floor, and this guy comes in, and he's looking at them, and somebody said, sorry, mate, those are on hold. He's like, they're on hold for me.

Yep. And they're like, oh, okay, cool. Now, it says $195 plus GST on it. Yep. And he says, I'm going to offer you $200, which is if you can do your GST just quickly, it would be just shy of $230, but he's paying cash. Yeah.

So he's like, I'll pay your cash. And he's like, I have to check with the manager. Goes out, 20 seconds, comes back. He's like, the manager's giving it the tick. And he's like, okay. So this guy that came in, he's like, got $200 cash in his hand. He's like, so do we have a deal? And I'm like, this is weird because you've just been told.

You've got a deal. You've got a deal. But he wanted the words, you've got a deal. So he said, so do we have a deal? Yeah. And the guy said, yeah, we've got a deal. And he put the money on the counter and he said, ha, I just made $150. What?

And I was like, I had to stop watching Top Gear entirely. I had to tune out Richard Hammond's adventures with that guy, James May and Clarkson. And I was like, here's my new Top Gear. I need to know how you just made $150. Yeah. This is all very cagey. Yeah.

And he said to the guy, the guy didn't ask. Yeah. He wasn't like, how did you make 150 bucks? He was like, okay. And the guy's like, I'll tell you how I did it. Okay. The guy behind the counter's like, okay. Because he doesn't care.

He probably wants to get back to top gear. Yeah. And he said, I had exactly the same set of springy coils. Yeah. I had the exact same pair of bouncy McRods in my car, and I sold them last night for $350. However, I had two people interested, so I sold them both my springy boings at $350,

but I only had one pair of springy boings. This morning, I found these springy boings. I rung you guys. You had them. Yeah. I said, put them on hold for me for $200, but I'm selling them in about 10 minutes time for $350. And he's telling these people.

He's bragging to this guy about it. And this young guy who's dealing with it doesn't really care. But the old mate who's dealing with my grey wing mirror is like, what? And he's like, yeah, mate, but we should all be happy. You'll make a money. I'll make a money. I was just like, what? And he's like, yeah, mate, but we should all be happy. You'll make a money. I'll make a money. I was just like, what's going on?

Why does he feel the need to gloat? Yeah. That's so weird. And then he's like, so yeah, I just made 150 bucks. Easy money. Now carry those to my car. And I'm like, this is what? Some BDE. That's the only thing I can possibly know what this is. The guy comes from behind the counter and picks them up

and carries them to his car for him. Probably just wants the guy to get the hell out of there. I would have said I'd carry them to your car for 50 bucks. And then we're all making money. You're making money. I'm making money. We're all making money. Yeah, I just couldn't believe it.

What a bizarre thing to witness. And then he went out the door and it went ding, ding as it shut. And I was left sat there. Yeah. Top Gear starts a new episode and I'm like, that was quite something to witness. And I looked around and it was just back to business as usual. Wow. That would have been, that's still on my mind.

And I had nothing. I had no skin in the game. Weird. And it's still, I can't be like, why did he brag about it? Why did he even tell them? Because now when he goes back next time, they're not going to be as willing to give cut of material, are they? No.

Anyway, it was really weird. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Hey, you on the phone, I bet I can guess your mum's name. It's a game where you ring up and you don't tell me your mum's name and then I ask some questions. I try to, like, work out, like, mum's vibe, man. And then I've got 15 seconds to guess your mum's name. All right, and if you can do that, Vaughan, in 15 seconds, Bec, you win $100 cash this morning.

Awesome. Bec, it's back. Cash prize. Took a wee hiatus. That's fantastic. I'm going to the right day, Ben. Well, we managed to sell off some office furniture, I believe, so that's fantastic.

Yep, yep. Don't tell management. Oh, don't tell them. Some of those ergonomic chairs are very expensive on the black market. Who knew? $1 reserves? Some of them we got $10 for. A couple of extra in here.

We can just make guests stand. Yeah. Why not? It's better for you. All right. So, Vaughan, you've now got five questions for Bec to try and figure out her mum's name. Yeah. Okay.

Now, here's a controversial first question. And I've never asked this question before. And I'll ask the panel if I can ask this question. What's your mum's middle name? I think that's an all right question to ask. I'll accept that. Okay, okay. Her middle name's Anne.

Anne. Very traditional. Anne. A-N-N-E or A-N-N? Well, it's actually A-N-N-E or A-N-N? Well, it's actually A-N-N-E, but for a lot of her life, she just thought it was A-N-N. Oh. Wow, okay.

Okay. Wow. Okay, that's interesting. Okay. Is it? Is it? How old is blank and blank? She is

64. 64, okay. She'll get a gold card next year. That's exciting. Now, do you get free fries at Macca's with a gold card? I have to ask my mum.

Ask your mum. Don't they do a coffee? Well, your mum's got that to look forward to. Does mum ever lie about her age? No. No?

I don't think she does, no. Okay, that was one of my questions. And that's a no to the lie. What, you're saying that if her mum was a liar, she'd have a rascally name? Yeah, maybe. I was more thinking about if she looks younger and says she's younger,

she might have also the name might be a bit more fluid to that. Right. Do you know what I mean? So you couldn't lie if your name was like

Gertrude. Yeah. Yeah. What is how many kids does your mum have? Two. Two.

So there's you and a sister. Sister. So two girls. Alright. Two girls. Alright. I don't think that's going to help you. It's a... Sister. Sister. So two girls. All right, two girls. All right.

I don't think that's going to help you. It's a wasted question, that one. Definitely. What have you got, two left? No, I've got one left. One question left. Okay. What's mum's thoughts on the whole pandemic thing?

The whole situation? COVID-19. She... the whole pandemic thing, the whole situation, COVID-19? She, I think she's a little bit, I think she's, her views are probably pretty similar to mine. She takes it pretty seriously. Right, right. Really, really seriously, but she is a little bit over it as well. She's sick of hearing about it.

You're such a mum thing. They are, aren't you? as well. He's sick of hearing about it. That's such a mum thing. They are, aren't you? I know. I'm sick of hearing about it. And then when that guy yesterday went to the supermarket and was in the news, I literally heard my mum being like, stupid bastard. God, now we're going to hear nothing about it again for the next few days. Yeah.

All right. All right. All right, so, Vaughn, you now have 15 seconds to guess Beck's mum's name. All right, are you ready? Did you almost say her mum's name? I was carefully trying not to say her mum's name because I do know it. Okay. 15 seconds starts now. Susan, Christine.

I'll chuck a Karen in there for good measure. Judith, Margaret, Patricia, Mary, Linda, Barbara, Elizabeth, Wendy, Helen, Heather, Lynette, Carol, Robin, Pamela, Janice. Janice.

What was your mum's name? Robin. Oh, you got it in the last couple of seconds. That was on there because she's roughly the same age as my mother-in-law and my mother-in-law's name's Robin. She's had a hard time with a cat I just saw on Facebook. Yes, Benny's been diagnosed with FIV, which is... Feline AIDS.

Feline AIDS. Cat AIDS. Oh, my goodness. Benny's very fat, though. Right. Benny's very fat. I don't think that means he should have feline AIDS. I think that's normal. That's why there was no suspicion that that was indeed the diagnosis.

Well, feline AIDS aside, congratulations. You've won $100. Woo-hoo. We can just put female HIV to the side. Feline. Feline HIV. I'm trying to move on. Feline HIV aside,

it's a horrible time for your mother-in-law at the moment. There is a bonus round. There is a bonus round. It's not. It's not. It's a bonus round. What? While you're on the phone,

I'll have a go at guessing your dad's name. Just before you get to your dad. It's actually far more common than you think. I know it is. I know it is. And cats can live pretty much a full and happy life. But you can get them vaccinated. You can.

If you get it before they get it, you can get them vaccinated. Once they've got it, it's too late. Anyway, feline aids aside, Vaughn is going to have one guess at your dad's name, Bec. And if he can do this correctly, you win another $100. But only one guess. Okay. Robin and George.

I'd like to... Jerry. Sorry. What? Well, I thought we could have a little discussion. Oh. Okay. About it.

Robin. And we don't know your last name, do we, Bec? We don't know Mum's last name. Okay, okay, okay. Letter, what letter are you feeling? This is what it's like being a TV psychic when you're talking to ghosts. Just spouting bullshit. Feeling a, feeling a Robin and a...

What about a RR? Like a Robin and a Roger. Like a RogerR? Like a Robin and a Roger. Like a Roger. Oh, that's a dad's name, isn't it? That's a real dad's name. Rog. Rog. Robin and Rog.

Robin and Rog, I reckon. Let's lock it in. You're locking in Roger? I'm locking in Roger. What's your dad's name, Bec? You were right with the R, it's Russell We were next to the Val next door. What a great combo

Russell. Russell and Russ Russell and Russ Hey well Bec, congratulations $100 cash, another winner with I bet I can guess your mum's name Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Yesterday, we had departed,

but apparently compliments were being passed around, so I'll assume we'll be getting ours at some stage today. Way to make this about you. I mean, if there's compliments to be handed out, yes, please. Yeah, right. May I have another? Just so I can be like, yes, please. Yeah, right.

May I have another? Just so I can be like, oh, like that. No, no, no, no, no. Don't do that. I'm too humble. Yeah, no, no, no. Don't do that. This happened in the producer's booth after we left yesterday.

Yeah, Georgia. That's the problem. It was Georgia that was handing them out, eh? Georgia's what a ray of light she is when she comes into this. But I feel like she gives them out too often. Right. Hers have become meaning. She's hyperinflation.

She sees too much good in too many people. Yes. She is so positive and bubbly and just happy, eh? All the time. We'll break it. Don't worry. We'll get it. We haven't enough time yet.

I know. Just so lovely all the time. We need to hang around at work a little bit longer and really concentrate on breaking that spirit. But you got a compliment from her yesterday, Executive Intern Anya. Yes. So I was giving Georgia a little pep talk about something

and then she said, you're so lovely, you're always there for everyone. Oh, God. And always supporting people. Calm down. Yeah, and I'm quoting verbatim. And I said, I like to think I'm like

a wee hot water bottle, you know? I'm cosy and warm when you need me to be. But in the morning you're cold and you kick it to the end of the bed. It's not wrong, yeah.

You wake up and you're burnt in your tummy. And you need a burn blister on your stomach. You need a cover. Once you get old, you start leaking everywhere. Can you channel your Georgia, please? And your bung's getting all

old and plastic here. Perished. You've got a perished bung. This is not going well. You can't get it tight anymore. The screws. Your bung's perished and you got to. It's a great analogy.

Got a sloppy valve. Okay. We are actually the opposite of Georgia. You are the worst. Yeah. And that is when our good friend, producer Jared Pipeson. Yeah, I said she was like a potato. Jared. My boy. A hot potato was like a potato Jared

My boy A hot potato or just a potato? It doesn't matter what the explanation is here No, let's hear her out Why is she like a potato? She's very hard working I like to think of the potato as the most hard working root vegetable I'll give you that

It is a hard working vegetable I feel like you're trying to save it They go with anything What does that even mean? I'll give you that. It is a hard-working vegetable. I feel like you're trying to save it. Yeah. They go with anything. Yeah. Yeah. What does that even mean? But why do you know? I know with anything.

You're versatile. Yeah, you're versatile. You're adjustable to whatever situation comes your way, maybe. Jared, you see that as an entire compliment. Yep. It wasn't an accident. It was an accident. It just came out.

It was, right. It just came out, right, it just came out. Right, okay. And then you had to justify why she's a potato. Fries? Yep, yep. Mashed potato? Oh, right.

How good's mashed potato? Yep. I said pretty much everyone likes them. Yes, they do. They do. High in carbs, though. Yep. Oh, my God.

No, not the low-tato, which is low. I was going to say I was like a low-tato. Yeah, we knew worse. You're like a low-tato. Right. Because then you've got to explain what a low-tato is. Do you know what you meant to say? I think I just wanted to be involved in the conversation.

Were you just saying words that popped to mind? Like a potato. I think a potato's a that popped to mind. Like a potato. I think a potato's a good vegetable to be. A very popular vegetable. Better than being like an artichoke. Polarising, no one knows how to cook them. No one knows what to do with it. You have to peel off half the thing before you can even eat it. Yeah.

And where do you find one? Could you bung a hot water bottle with a potato? What? Oh, you're saying craft a new bung for the... I don't think it was saying anything. It's too far gone. The vowel's too far gone. Stop talking about a lady's vowel.

I'm not talking about it. It's metaphorical. Sarah joins us. Bluff or Stuff. Sarah joins us. Good morning, Sarah. Good morning. All right, so we're going to play Bluff or Stuff with you. We have a prize up for grabs today.

A Urban Decay Naked 3 eyeshadow palette. Now, the idea with the game is that only one of us is holding this product. We will describe it. We'll answer any questions you've got. And one by one, you must eliminate people and decide who is actually holding it and who is telling porky pies. Okay, now. Guess the right person, you win the palette. I'll start, Sarah, because I can tell you this box that is in my hand

is a beautiful box. I'm just running my finger over the raised, embossed Naked 3 on the front of it. I shouldn't have let you touch it before. It's my fault. So you can hear my finger there rubbing over it. Sorry. Megan!

Don't try to put up my lie. I don't know about you, Sarah, but I think I would look lovely wearing mugshot. Now, that's one of the shadow colours that I could put on my eye using the double-ended brush. For blending and shadowing. It's a blending and shadow brush.

Does one end do the shadow and one end do the blend? You put it on with one end and then the other one blends it through. Which end? The thick end? Look, I'm holding the box. I put it on with one end and then the other one blends it through. Which end? The thick end? Look, I don't know. I'm holding the box. I don't know anything about it but I can tell you I'm holding the box.

He knows that, Sarah, because he can see it from the box that I'm holding. I can tell you all the colours if you'd like. There's strange dust, burnout, limit,

buzz, thick, no, no, liar, factory, mugshot, dark side, dark heart. Dark side, dark heart.

Dark heart because Megan was reading that from the website, Sarah. She's not even holding it. From the palest shimmering pink to the deepest black matte. Matte? Matte. Where are you reading this? With red micro glitter. I'm holding it up because he's and he's always having trouble reading it

because he's squinting. Now, I'm holding the box, Sarah, because on the back of it there's a little security tag so you can't shoplift it. Yeah, I can see.

Yeah, see, I'm just peeling that off there. That's why I'm holding the box. God. Shoplifter. That's not on anymore. All right.

So, any more questions about the Urban Decay Naked 3? Fletch, are you able to read me out the barcode on the back? Absolutely. 9-4-6-7-8-2-4-8-7-6. That just sounded really odd. Okay, well, I'm just going to get changed. I think, Megan, you are lying,

so I'm going to eliminate you. Oh! Damn it. Bye, well, I'm just going to get changed. I think, Megan, you are lying, so I'm going to eliminate you. Oh! Damn it. Bye, Felicia. That is correct. Okay, so it's down now. That's the sort of sassy thing you'd say when you've got burnout on your eyes from urban decay. Sarah, you now have to eliminate either Vaughn or myself, Fletch.

God, this is hard. These two both were very convincing. Were they? Whatever, Megan. Don't be sourpuss just because you lost. Oh, God. Do I have to just guess a winner who I think's got it, or do I need to eliminate someone else again?

Either way, it will be obvious, won't it? Yeah. Okay. You do whatever makes you comfortable. Tell us who you think is holding the box. Who do you think is holding it? Oh, I really, really think it's Fletch holding the box. You want to lock that in?

Surprise? Oh, God, sorry. Those are some of my knees are laughing. I feel like I've done the wrong thing. Can I ask one more question? Yes, sure. Vaughan, can you read me out the barcode? Ah.

Oh! No, he's turning around the box to find it. No, because he needs time to lie. Six. Okay, I'm going to stick with my gut feeling, please. I think it's you who's got the prize. You're going to lock that in, Sarah. Yeah.

That is incorrect. I was turning around the box to find the barcode. I couldn't think of where the barcode was. It was so forward. It was too slow. I looked at the barcode before, but then I couldn't find it. I mean, this is why I'd be terrible at supermarket. I'd be like, oh, where's the barcode on this?

That's why you're one of those people that takes forever at the South Surf checkout. Sarah, unfortunately, you have not won Bluntful Stuff. Oh, good, guys. Thank you for letting me play. Okay, no worries. All right, we'll be back. You were the only one who didn't read out the colours on the box.

I know. Sorry, sorry. Prepare-vous. It's also got French on the box too. All right. Well, there we go. It'll be a carryover game of Bluff or Stuff back on the radio again one day soon.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hit music lives here. ZM.