ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Best Bits Podcast - 18th July 2020

Episode Date: July 17, 2020

Our fancy new compilation podcast filled to the brim with the best moments from Fletch, Vaughan & Megan this week!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fletchbourne and Megan Best Bits Podcast. It's thanks to McCafe by five McCafe coffees. Get one free on the Maccas app. A podcast where we give you just the best bits of the week just so you can sample the show. It's like a sampler box biscuit without buying a whole pack of Tim Tams because maybe you won't like the Tim Tams. Wait, you know you're gonna like Tim Tams. Wait, no Tim, I've got the wrong, God, I've got the wrong biscuit company, haven't I? No, because they do Chit Chats. Isn't it? No, because they do chit-chats. Isn't it Griffins? Samplers do chit-chats.

Griffins is samplers, isn't it? And they do like... Sampler biscuits. Yeah, no, it'd be a chit-chat in the sampler. Arnott's is a Tim Tam. Yeah, no, they don't do the sampler box. It's Griffins sampler biscuits. I know my biscuits.

Yeah, you've really thrown a cat amongst the pigeons there. I have, yeah. So in my analogy, you might not buy a whole packet of crispy biscuit because those yuck coconut crispies, are they in there? No, you don't get a sample. Just buy a packet of tinder. Just buy the biscuits you want. Yeah.

But my analogy is you get a bit of everything, and then if you like it, you just delve more into the podcast biscuits or something. Is that making any sense? Yeah, but everybody it, you just delve more into the podcast biscuits or something. Is that making any sense? Yeah, but everybody knows what biscuit. We're at the stage of our lives. We know what biscuits we want. Yeah.

That would be, yeah. Double-coated Tim Tam. What is the average length of this Best Of podcast usually, Jared? Around 50-ish minutes. Oh, wow. 50-ish minutes. It's longer than I would have thought. So the Best Of and then some other stuff, a little bit of filler.

Are you putting music in this? No, definitely not. Okay, has it got ads in it? No, no ads. Oh, wow. 50 minutes. Good God. Wow.

It's amazing they've managed to do that. Yeah. Clear the schedule and enjoy. ZM. Hit music. Live ZM. Flesh, Fawn and Megan. The podcast. Somebody on the show had an incident with an automated toilet,

an automated public toilet. Oh, yeah. Not one of those fancy Japanese bath seats. Have you ever used one of those? No. You sit down and it's warm. It's warm. And then you can have a little squirty bit.

Oh, I don't know about the warmness because that feels like someone went just before you. Yeah, that's weird. I'm not a fan. Yeah. Well, it's not me. It's not I. It's not me.

We go now to Executive Intern Anya. Hello. So is this when you push the button and it... And then you go in and it... And then it goes... It was like, you have 10 minutes. And it goes... That sounds flash.

Because the one that I... I used one when I was in New Plymouth and you shut the door because I needed to go wheeze real quick. You shut the door and then I went wheeze and then I couldn't see a button to flush. And I was like, well, I'm not... Yeah, it's when you open the door.

Yeah, and that's what I figured out. So I opened the door and it went. Yeah. So we had an incident. I'd been doing some shopping in the local village. Yeah. And got quite tired. Okay.

And I'd already had a cup of coffee. Okay. It was such a nana millennial. A cup of cheerio. Shopping in the local village. I'm tired. I've already had of coffee. Okay. You're such a nana millennial. I'm shopping in the local village. I'm tired. I've already had my coffee. I sat down and had a cup of tuna. So shopping, perusing. Oh, I'm tired. Coffee, back to perusing.

Tired again. Can't have another coffee because that's just outrageous. Blow my budget. Needed to go to the loo. Popped in. Yep. Got quite comfy. In a public toilet? Not even me, I'm in and out of those things. It was quite a nice one.

It was quite clean. Okay. And so I'm on my phone. I'm on TikTok. I'm just browsing. You're TikTok-ing in a public toilet? I'm browsing memes. I'm checking out surfing.

Had you put down the toilet paper on the seat to make a toilet cover? No. You're not making TikToks, are you? You're watching TikToks. No, I'm looking for some TikToks. Net, net, net. Net, net, net, net, net, net, net, net, net, net, net, net, net. Yeah.

Okay. Doing my business as one does. And then I see a sign up on the top left that says, you'll be given a warning a minute before your use time ends. It's like, fantastic. That's enough time to pull up pants. That was 10 minutes. It said 10 minutes when you went in.

You got 10 minutes. Who needs longer than 10 minutes in a public toilet? This guy right here. Because that warning never came. And all of a sudden, as you'll remember, the flush goes when the door opens. So the door opens. You've got a douche.

I get a douche. And it goes on my TikToks. Yeah. It goes on your TikToks. The water hit the screen. Yeah, yeah. And then a guy walked past. And I was like, morning.

Tips my hat. Right. How are you? And he's like, oh, I got caught short, did you? I was like, please leave. So then did you shut the door and get another 10 minutes? No, it wouldn't leave me. There must be like a 30-second delay time.

So I had to hoist up my pants. Wait, so when he walked past, you were still sat down bare-ass? Well, no, I've had a douche at this point. And I'm like, hello? Oh, pants. Wait, so when he walked past you, you were still sat down bare arsed? Well, no, I've had a douche at this point and I'm like, hello. But have you, had you hiked the pants? I'd hiked the knickers. You're in your knickers? Yeah. And he's like, top of the morning.

Yeah, he was real cool about it. I was like, yeah, how you going? You should check out this TikTok, it's pretty funny. Can you not read the room? Now's not a good time for a chat. Like, keep walking. Yeah, it was not great. It was not read the room? Now's not a good time for a chat. Like, keep walking. Yeah, it was not great. It was not great.

Yeah, wow. Okay. Did we think the speaker's just disabled or something? The speaker's broken, so it can't give you the warning. I don't know. I loved the jazz music, though. I was nearly going to, what do you call it? Shazam.

Shazam it. I was like, this would be so nice every time I do my business. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Supportive acoustic. Jazz number. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Fleshforn and Megan's Radio Tinder. Last time we played Radio Tinder, we

had a female in studio and today we have a guy looking for a love with a lady. A love, a love with a lady. Please welcome Stefan. He's a 22-year-old Libra who loves the outdoors. His mum's from Zimbabwe, his dad's Portuguese, and he's shredded so much,

he's fit for the Victoria's Secret fashion show. He's got a massive sweet tooth. So if you're a sweet girl with good dance, he's your guy. Meet Stefan. Good morning. Good morning. Imagine if every Tinder bio came with that kind of intro. You'd be swiping.

Is that accurate for you, do you think? I think they've maybe mixed up the bio with someone else a little bit. The Sweet Tooth's accurate. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. What's your favorite sweet, like chocolate, lollies, anything? Yeah, chocolate. Okay.

Keep it simple. But you must gym a fair bit because you've got a drink bottle and it's one of those squirty ones. It is a gift. It was a gift? Yeah. Hashtag gifted? Hashtag gifted.

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We don't want to be taken to the advertising standards authority. Avoid that. Like an influencer. Okay, so we need to find out a bit more about you other than what we just heard. Yeah, so uni student, about to kick off my master's. In?

Business. Okay. Yeah. What else do you need to know? I mean, love of sport. Oh, okay. What sports? What sports?

Yeah. You can't go past rugby. I would have thought football. And football, actually. Right, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you watch it or play it? I watch it, yeah.

No, not talented in that area. Never played any sports? Did play, but kind of at that social level, you know, where you rock up, everyone's still half hungover from the night before. Are you going to make people watch football games, though? I'll make them watch a rugby game, yeah. Okay, you're right. Yeah, yeah.

So an interest in rugby would be up there? Yeah, yeah. For what you're looking for? Okay. Okay. Well, should we see if there are potential matches? Well, yeah, this is where we need you to call us. 0800 DARS at M if you would like to play Radio Tinder with Stefan.

What other things are you looking for in a match? I'm pretty useless in the kitchen when it comes to cooking. So ideally someone that can do that for us, that can make a decent meal. I'm also out of a car at the moment. So someone that could potentially provide me transport. You're looking for an Uber Eats driver because they've got a car and they can bring food. I don't want to go there, but essentially, yeah.

Or a mum. Yeah. Sure. Yeah, yeah. You're looking for a mum. I mean, you're doing a Masters in Business, so it's an investment, you know? Yeah, exactly.

Long term, it could come out. You might be a CEO or something one day. Who knows? Yeah. Fleetbourne and Megan, Radio Tinder. And this morning in studio, we have Stefan. He's a 22-year-old Libra who loves the outdoors. His mum's from Zimbabwe, his dad's Portuguese.

And he's shredded so much, he's fit for the Victoria's Secret fashion show. He's got a massive sweet tooth. So if you're a sweet girl with good vans, he's your guy. Meet Stefan. We also found out that Stefan is doing a Masters in Business and he can't cook very well, so he would like someone who has a bit of prowess in the kitchen and you don't have a car.

Well, yeah, it's just getting worked on at the moment, so it's out for a while. You did just say while the song was playing, I don't know if I sold myself very well there. Yeah, no, I definitely don't know. That was the key thing to do, you just downplayed it. Yeah, just downplayed it, exactly. All right, well, we're going to introduce you now

to some callers, Stefan. You can ask them some questions and then you just like Tinder swipe. Got it. Okay. All right. Firstly, Erica, good morning. Good morning.

Hey, Erica. How's it going? Good, thanks. How are you? Yeah, good. Thanks for asking. Off to a great start here. Now, let's get into the hard-hitting questions here.

So a bit of a breaker for me would be, who do you support in Super Rugby? Oh, I'm a blues gal. I want to be an orphan. You're preaching to the choir here. That's a great start. Oh, okay. You could almost get a yes just off that, but I'll hit you with another.

If you were to see one musician or band live, who would that be? I'm a big sucker for Drax Project. I can do a Drax. I can do a Drax Project. Well, you're certainly easier to take someone to a Drax Project concert. Yeah, yeah. I'm glad you didn't pick some international artist

that we're probably never going to see again. Fletch? Poor local. That's a swipe right for you, Erica. Fantastic. What do you do, Erica? Do you work or study? I do both at the moment.

I work in PR and I'm studying law. Oh, do you have a car and can you cook? I have a car and I'm just the new proud owner of a slow cooker. Oh, yes, good. We were just talking this morning. We were talking about a slow cook curry. Yeah, we were. We We were just talking this morning, weren't we, about a slow-cooked curry? Yeah, we were. We can give you a recipe as well.

Aren't we all getting something out of this? Fantastic. All right, joining us now to play Radio Tinder is Rosie. Good morning, Rosie. Good morning. G'day, Rosie. How's it going? It's going very good, mate.

So I've already touched about How big of a deal cooking is So if you were to be making us A meal, like a dinner on our date What would you cook? Oh I think I'd have to go For like a nice Thai green curry or something

Oh yeah Spicy? Spicy or not spicy? Oh, and then also dessert for, I know you're a sweet tooth, I used to do a bit of baking in my day, professionally. Professionally? Not really. It was just a summer job, but I like to cool myself.

Did you sell cookie times? No. Whoa. Sorry. I was a purveyor of sweet biscuits. What's your baking specialty? I do donuts and bread. Oh, yeah.

Good Lord. Do you have a car? No, not at the moment, but my brother's in the car business. Okay. Yeah. She's got the hookups. You just borrow one for the night? Okay, good. the car business. Okay. Yeah. So he's got the hookups. You just borrow one for the night? Okay, good.

Yeah, right. Okay. Yeah, well, it's good pricing and why they're not under your name so you can get parking tickets. Okay. Okay. You can just never have to pay.

Very good. And I've got a bit of a specific question here for you, Kay. So imagine, if you will, that you're the All Blacks captain and that you're playing South Africa in the World Cup final, right? You're down three points with five minutes to go and the ref blows his whistle for the opposition not rolling away. You've got a penalty just inside your side of halfway and Geordie Barrett's been complaining about a niggly

hammy all game. Do you A, call for the tee and back Geordie from 52 metres on the angle, B, kick for touch and back the line out drive, or C, take the quick tap and go and hope to catch the box off guard? D, I would do it.

She's the captain. She's taking command of a ship in trouble. I'd do the line out. Is that the right answer? No. Oh, Rosie. You've swiped left. Rosie, you were doing so well up until that last question.

I mean, the baking, the car, it was all going well. And then it just went tits up. What was the right answer? I would have liked to see the go for the line out drive. Just back yourself for the drive. I would have done a quick tap and go. I would have done the line out. I would have gone for the full. Seven points or eight points?

Still get seven points if you go for the line out. You're going to have to pay for your parking tickets now. We welcome Jamie. Jamie to Radio Tinder. for your parking tickets now. We welcome Jamie. Jamie to Radio Tender. Good morning. Good morning. Hey, Jamie. All right, let's crack straight into it.

You've got $1,000 to make the perfect date for us. What are you doing? Well, I'm a big skier, so probably go down to the ski field, have a day on the slopes. Lovely. Sorry, you used day on the slopes. Lovely. Sorry, you used your $1,000 already. Sorry. What did you say?

A day on the slopes? We're going to need you to top it up. No, carry on. Sorry. Where are we going? Are we going Ruapehu or are we going down south? Well, we only have $1,000, so I think we're just staying in the Mount Ropehu

Okay okay And what was the last show that you binge watched? I just binge watched the Jeffrey Epstein series on Netflix Oh yeah Okay Intense docker Very intense Yeah

I'm gonna have to say This is ruthless. Wow. She was going to take you to the ski... Are you not a skier? I'm not a skier. A snowboarder? I've snowboarded once, if you want to call that a snowboarder.

Okay, let's take two more. Megan, good morning. Hi. She's just like hooey. Megan, what's happening? How you going? I'm good, thank you. Alright. I'm in the car at the moment. Oh, so you have a car.

I like how you subtly dropped it that you have a car. Very good slip of the tongue there. What would be the first place on your travel list? Next country you want to go to? Oh, country.

They reckon we'll be able to do this again one day, Megan. I do want to go to England. Oh, yeah. England, eh? It's my first time going out of the country, so be something. So you support the local? You support local? Oh, yeah.

That's great. That's what we need. At this time? All right. And then I suppose who would your celebrity crush be? Celebrity crush? Chan Tatum. Okay.

Oh, it's a no. Is that too much to compete with? Yeah. How can I compete with Tatum? Okay. Megan, thank you for playing. Now, Raylene's called up. Raylene, I believe you are playing radio Tinder for your daughter, Karina. That's correct.

This is how everybody should do Tinder, is just give it to mum. But this is almost like a meet the parents before you've met the date, you know what I mean? Yeah. A bit of an interview for me. Okay. Raylene, how old is your daughter to start with? Oh, she's definitely old enough. Raylene, have you forgot how old your daughter is?

We've left it vague. No, no, absolutely. She's won her last year of university, so don't worry. Okay, okay. She's all right. Does she know you've called? Does she have any idea you've called on her behalf? Well, she didn't, but now she's in the car and she does.

I love this. Is this your car or does she have a car? Oh, it's her car. But I'm running her to work. I look after her little car when she's at work. Okay, now would you be able to do a drop-off for both her and Stefan? Oh, absolutely. And also when I drop them off to the clubs and I pick them up afterwards.

No problem. Don't need to do Uber at all. Yes! You were right. God, if I wasn't married, I'd be putting my hand up. This sounds good. Now, what about cooking? What's the kitchen situation like? There has been a consistent

line of questioning this morning, Raylene. Don't you worry about that. There's no problems. Morning, night, noon, any time. Raylene? You or your daughter? Are we still talking about cooking? No.

No. I hate the kitchen. Okay. Raylene, that's a yes for you and for your daughter. Do we even know Raylene's daughter's name? What's her name? It's Karina. Karina. The sweetest name.

You don't need chocolate for her. No, no. Sweet enough already. Oh, that's so brilliant, Karina. Raylene, thank you. God, why is Karina single? Yeah. What a salesperson am I, there?

Well, Stefan, there you go. We've got you a couple of options today for Radio Tinder. Thank you very much. Karina and Raylene. Karina and Raylene, yep. Yeah, and I forget the name earlier, but... Two matches. Two and a half, if you count Raylene.

Wow. All right, fact of the day is next. Thanks for coming in, Stefan, and playing Radio Tinder. Thanks for having me. And if you would like to play Radio Tinder, ZM online to register. Oh, this is so fun. See why people do it at parties.

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. And it's easy to forget that, you know, we're living this normal life at the moment that oversees social distancing and life is still very much interrupted. Wasn't yesterday the biggest surge in cases?

Yes. In Florida? Or just worldwide? Just worldwide. Florida as well. Arizona, Florida, like out of control. Didn't Florida get 15,000 new cases confirmed yesterday? And it's bad there because a lot of old people go to retire there.

I went to the supermarket yesterday and walking through the car park, just saw all these faded crosses on the floor. You know, remember when we used to line up to go into the supermarket? Two metre distance, yeah. I was like, that's right. God, I hope we don't go back to that. Yeah. Touchwood.

Well, a bar in the UK is in the spotlight because they have introduced a, I guess some help for the bar staff with social distancing. So they'd like people when they order drinks at the bar, which is still bizarre to think that English people are going to the pub, right? God, I wouldn't be. They've had a lot of, there's still outbreaks going on. They haven't exactly eliminated the virus, so it's weird.

Anyway, a Cornwall pub has erected an electric fence a foot away from the bar. A foot or so. I'll show you a photo. So you go up to the bar. You can lean across. It would be touch and go

whether or not you'd be able to pick your drinks up. Especially if you were boozed. Oh yeah, over the fence. I thought about reaching over to pay, but yeah, you've got to reach over and pick your drinks up. Especially if you were boozed. Oh, yeah, over the fence. Oh, yeah, I thought about reaching over to pay, but you've got to reach over and grab your drinks, don't you? So the fence is off normally, but it can be turned on if drunk people or people are getting too close and not listening to staff.

So apparently a couple of... That's tempting. That's like being handed a cow prod. Being handed a prodder and being like, don't zap anybody with that. Or even just if there's some douchebag giving you crap at the bar, just be like. Yeah.

What's that? What's that? Flick it on. The douche. So this came to light because of a guy on the radio, I think. He shared it on his social media and it's gone viral since. Apparently a couple of people did get a shock. What are they not powering it?

Too close. Does it say how? Well, it doesn't say the voltage, but it's just a little, like a car battery. It's a bit smaller than a car battery. Oh, they're just going to hook straight up to a battery. Is that just like an electric fence from the farm? But then if it's just hooked straight up to a battery,

it's not going to pulse shock. It's just going to have a shock running through it. So it wouldn't be like, you know, when you touch an electric fence and it's like, because it goes zip, zip, zip, that would just be like the whole time. So if you touched it, you'd get a shock. Right. Yeah. Well, somehow they must turn

it on maybe at the other end. Right, well, they just need to connect it. Yeah. They just need to close the circuit and it would be all go. Yeah. Or they need, no, they need a one with the pulsing because sometimes you'd touch it and be like, it's not on. But you've just touched it between pulses. Yeah, and then it gets you.

Oh, it'll get you. It'll get you. And then your joints ache if it's strong enough. But I don't know if it's as strong as a fence that you'd find on your farm. You'd be dropping drunk people, if it was. They'd be pissing themselves, literally. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Now, we have got,

this is massive news. We had a brief chat about this before the show and it got pretty heated. You even whipped out and made an introductory bed. There's an introduction being made to deal with this topic. Topic du jour. And it is going to be lining up the 6pm news. I wouldn't be surprised if they lead with it.

It was an itchy, bitchy, teeny, weeny, yellow polka dot. Zucchini. Oh, Jesus. Did you guys see how much zucchinis cost? Yeah, ridiculous. Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. Like 20-something dollars a kg.

Apparently it's because we've stopped some fresh fruit being imported from Queensland. Right. Because of what? Because it could have COVID on it. A COVID situation? Maybe it could have COVID on it. But why don't we just quarantine these zucchinis at an Auckland airport hotel? Quarantini.

Quarantini. Yeah, just put them in a hotel for two weeks. Quarantini. Yeah. Because it would be soft. You know how they go limp when you leave them in the kitchen drawer? Okay. You're like, it starts to wrinkle and you're like, it's gone.

Let's put them in the hotel minibar fridges. It's... For two weeks. We could try it. Sure. Surely there's some refrigeration thing we could... Sure. We could.

But, you know, I heard, now we're going to cross live to a supermarket for an actual price per kilogram. Okay. But I heard $21 banted about yesterday. And I said, for a zucchini? I don't like a zucchini enough. I don't hate them,

but I'm not paying much for them. I wouldn't go out of my way to pay for, like, if they're that expensive, but I love them in a stir fry noodle.

You can make zoodles. Zoodles? It's like three zucchinis for $2. I'll be like, okay, I'll get zoodles. No, but no one likes zoodles.

You just have to have zoodles. No, zoodles are yum. They're not as nice as noodles. If it wasn't so much admin, I'd have them all the time. You're only doing zoodles because you want to feel healthier. No one's choosing zoodles. Even people who are like, oh, I've got to have zoodles. I'm celiac.

It's like, yeah, but your gut is telling you you're not allowed noodles. You still want them. Could you ever just slice it up long ways and fry it in a pan. It's like, yeah, but your gut is telling you you're not allowed noodles. You still want them. Could you ever just slice it up long ways and fry it in a pan? It's delicious. Yeah, really yum. Yeah, but have you ever had sausages? Okay, good call. You can have sausages too.

They're just not. They're like a cardboardy cucumber. I'm not paying a lot for them. I'll eat them, but I'm not paying a lot for them. So we cross live now to a supermarket where producer Jared is in the produce department standing by the zucchinis. Is that right? Yep.

Absolute scenes here at Anonymous Supermarket. Yeah. Sounds chaotic. It does. It's at 7.30 on a Tuesday morning. Are they labelled zucchinis or are they labelled courgettes? They are called courgettes over here. Okay.

All right. Now, what price have you got per kg there? or are they labelled courgettes? They are called courgettes over here. Okay. All right, now what price have you got per kg there? I hope you guys are sitting down because we're sitting at $26.99. A kilogram! Jesus! Jeez! Zoodles are going to cost you $10 for a zoodle. Good Lord!

Yeah, that's too much. That's too much for zoodles. Do you want to buy one, producer Jarrod? Do you want to just pick out a, are they good? Because, you know, sometimes you've got to get a firm one, otherwise you get a mushy one. You don't want a mushy one. You don't want a mushy one.

You're only paying $27. I've given them, I've given one or two a squeeze, and I think I've got a winner. Okay. Okay, is it like straight, or does it have like a bendy curve to the left or the right? It's got a slight right lean. Okay. Does it have a bendy curve to the left or the right? It's got a slight right length. Does it have a

big knobbly bit or a medium sized knobbly bit? You know the M bit? Yeah, I don't want to be paying for too much knobbly because you can't eat the knobbly. Just break the knobbly off because that starts the rotting process. And sometimes it's really skinny but has a big knobbly bit.

It's like cotton. Remove the knobbly bit, leave. If it's too much knobbly, we don't want to pay for too much knobbly. We're not paying for knobbly bits. No, no. All right. I've sneakily broken off the knobbly bit. How...

Good, good. Well, no, we're not paying $2 for a knobbly bit that we're not going to eat. Okay. Well, we're going to use it today, aren't we? Right. 17 calories per 100 grams, apparently, of the zucchini. Yeah, that's why zoodles are a good alternative. Yeah, that's why

it's not worth $26. As you see, you're paying for green water and a cucumber skin. So, I think we need to give away this... What's happening? Oh, are you paying, are you? Yeah, I just started working on a self-serve machine.

Oh, right. Oh, okay. Okay, so you pay for it. We're going to give away this zucchini. Because zucchinis are very expensive at the moment. Don't tell us how much it costs or how much it weighed because people will be able to work it out. But is it a price is right situation? What, you want people to call now to win a zucchini? Yes.

What if they can guess the price? At $26 a kilogram. $26.99. $26.99. $27 a kilogram. Who wouldn't want to win a zucchini? How are you going to send it to them? In the courier, are you going to wrap it up in bubble wrap? Oh yeah, you're going to courier it.

Jared's ripped off the knobbly bit. That's why I said don't rip off the whole knobbly bit because the rotting process will begin. Okay. Should I substitute it for one with a knobbly bit because the rotting process will begin. Should I substitute it for one with a knobbly bit? No, you have to buy that one now. You have to buy that one. You've ripped off the knobbly bit. Do you have a price yet,

Jared? Yep. Don't say it. You're shocked. I'm shocked. Okay, alright. So does somebody need to guess the exact price of how much the zucchini is for to win? Yes. Okay, I'll wait 100 dials at M right now. I can't believe we're doing this for a... Somebody said yesterday they went to a supermarket and zucchinis are $27 a kilogram

and Whittaker's chocolate was $9 a kilogram. They did the maths. So it's cheaper to eat chocolate. Yeah. Okay, we're joined by Louise. Good morning, Louise. Hi, how are you? Good.

Now, there's no knobbly bit on it, but how much do you think the single zucchini has cost? Oh, I tried to buy one on Friday afternoon and I got it to the checkout and it scanned them at $7.99 for one. Oh, my God. So I politely asked the lady if I could just remove that from my shopping and just put that one back and we'll go with that.

Jesus Christ, that's ridiculous. I hope it was a girthy one. Okay, so what price are you going to lock in there? Oh, I'll lock in $8.20. Jared? That is incorrect. Higher or lower? Lower.

Lower than $8.20. Oh, she's pleasantly surprised. She is. Mandeep, what do you think? For one single cord yet, how much? Mandeep. Hello. Hello.

Good morning, guys. Good morning. How much do you think? Probably 540. Jared? Negative. Higher or lower than 540? A little bit lower.

A little bit lower? Lower. This is a small. This is a small. Did you get a small one, Jared? He's ripped an obliquely. Onion. Yeah.

I've got quite a big one. Okay. Steph? I'm going to go 520. 520, Jared? Negative. Isn't that just what we had? 540.

Oh, he said 540. Oh, higher or lower? Higher or lower? Lower. Lower than 520. Lower. All right, fantastic. I'll tell you what, the people are calling in their droves to win a zucchini on the show this morning.

They can't get enough of that fresh fruit and veg. Simon, how much? I'll go $4.96. $4.96, Jared? Incorrect. Higher or lower? Lower. Lower than $4.96.

He's got a little Zookie. Sonny, good morning. How much is the little Zookie? Sonny, get in quick, Sonny. We've got a line of people waiting to guess. Sonny. Sonny. Sonny. I in quick, Sonny. We've got a line of people waiting to guess. Sonny. Sonny. I mean, come on.

You're going to work out that we're talking to you if we say Sonny or Sonny, right? Sonny. Sonny's gone, mate. No, he's out. He's out. We said Sonny after all. Named after the appliance brand. I mean, as much as I'd love to stay here all day, mate,

I don't think we've got time to get into that. Jared, how much was it? It weighed 0.167 kilos and it cost $4.51. Oh my God, that is a tiny zucchini. For a tiny zucchini. Ridiculous.

Well, bring that back to home base, Jared. In fact, actually, Jared, Melissa, you can have it. Now you've hung up on her so she can't have it. I was just trying to do the nice thing. Oh, no. Give Melissa a tiny zucchini.

Steph, you can have the tiny zucchini. Steph. Yeah, I'm here. You can have the tiny zucchini. That was split just for me. Worth hanging in there for, huh? I can make one zoodle out of it maybe. Yes!

Oh, God, that was great. Once you take the top and the bottom off, I don't know if you skin yours. I don't know about 100 grams of zoodle there. You don't skin it. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Yesterday, I was blissfully scrolling through stories on my Instagram. Blissfully?

Having a lovely time, seeing what everyone was up to. Right. When I wasn't looking at whose I was scrolling through, and Fletch's pops up. What's Fletch up to on this lovely afternoon? He was sitting on the toilet. Oh, yeah, I saw this. Yeah. Sweet balls. You couldn sitting on the toilet. Oh yeah, I saw this. Yeah.

Sweet balls. You couldn't see my balls. Saw your jennies reflecting in your... You couldn't see jennies. In your white toilet. It took me a second to realise what I was seeing. Because first of all, I saw your cat. And I was like, cute. Muzz is super cute. But Major Muffy Murray Fluffington

is mouthful. Major Muffy. Major Muffy. Oh my god, I'm just going to call him that now. Muff Muffs. Major Muffy Murray Fluffington Major Muffy. Major Muffy. Oh my god, I'm just going to call him that now. Muff Muffs. Major Muffy. Was sitting in your undies of your pants that were pulled down when you were sitting on the toilet. Yeah, so I was on the toilet. I was just scrolling and then the cat

was there and then like within a second he was inside the jeans and undies and and sleeping he was like this is a great place to sleep and i'm like on the toilet like a nest yeah like a nest like a gene nest do you not shut the door when you go to the toilet no because i live alone i know but even when i'm like because yeah my dog likes to come into the bathroom when you're going toilet time he'll come in sometimes or he'll just sit there or walk around but yeah i like the judgment when i'm doing my thing.

For some reason, he thought this is a warm nest. And I was like, this is pretty cute. It probably was warm and musty. And then he kind of got to sleep and I was like, well, this is weird. I'm going to put it on Instagram because that's what you do, right? And then I was like, okay, that's cute. And then I was like, well, I need to get up. Initially, it was just a still picture.

Excuse me, Murray. Excuse me, Murray. I need to get up. And then I was like, well, I need to get up. Initially, it was just a still picture. Excuse me, Murray. Excuse me, Murray. I need to get up. And then I was like, get out. And he didn't want to get out because obviously it was warm. And then a video of you like shuffling along with your pants down and your cat and your undies. Eventually, he jumps out. And then he goes, and I say, thank you, Murray.

And he goes, no. It was very cute. I was like, and I did contemplate, do I put this on Instagram stories? I was so grossed out on two levels. First level, your cat was in your undies. Like, ooh, yuck for Mars. Yeah, I don't really think about that.

And then, like, you just pulled them up and like, ooh, yuck, that grosses me out. But cats sleep on laundry all the time. Cats sleep on everything, yeah. And second of all, I could just... Don't you kiss your dog on the face? No, I absolutely don't. Oh, dog people do that though.

No, not all dog people. That's disgusting because he licks his balls. Oh yeah, when I see people and their dogs lick their mouths and face that, I'm like, you nasty. Absolutely not. You nasty. And then you had your pants down and you're shuffling along. I was like, no, no. I can just, I mean, I can't see it, but I can imagine what's happening.

So this was a horror of the situation. And you can see this story on my Instagram, FletchNZ. I'll just drop that in there. Because I put my phone down and then went away for 45 minutes after I posted this story. It wasn't near my phone. And I picked up Instagram and there were a lot of messages

and I was like, oh my god I've accidentally put my penis on Instagram. Like, because Vaughn was like, sweet balls and I was like, no I did a check I did a check. Yeah. And then people I did a check too, I didn't even see a shadow. Yeah, no. But I knew you'd be freaking out about it so that's why I was like

I put my hand over most of the thing and I was just looking for where there could be a little bit of penis poking through. No penis. I was like. But even though it didn't have a shadow, it was the inference that it was even out when you were filming. It was just like. A lot of people did say, I can see the shadow, but it was when the cat turned his head, the

ear made it look like an elongated ear, like a diddle. And I was like, oh, my God, I've put my diddle on Instagram. This is terrible. Right. But then I did a good check, and it was fine. But most people loved it, Megan. Oh, okay. It had like 100-something shares, 170 shares.

Grossed out. What was the most popular response of people looking at it? I bet it was a bloody birdie trail. Your DMs lit up with some propositions and then you could just bloody pick them out of the water. No. Was there any sexy responses? There were like so many

people were just like, yeah. Really? It was pretty crazy. I was like what? Yeah, it was a big trail. What was the brand of undies? Oh yeah, Calvin Klein. Was it Calvin Klein undies? Oh, yeah, Calvin Klein. Was it Calvin Klein undies? Oh, they weren't even, what?

I love how it's like, oh, it's just my old Calvins. Yeah, my tradie undies are in the wash, aren't they? My Wednesday undies are in the wash. Yeah, I was going to say, your seven-hour-a-week undies. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Hey, you on the phone, I bet I can guess your mum's name. We welcome to the show this morning, Amy. Good morning.

Morning, guys. How are you? Really good, really good. Welcome to I Bet I Can Guess Your Mum's Name. Vaughan is going to ask you five questions to establish your mum's name and then has 15 seconds to try and guess your mum's name. Vaughn is going to ask you five questions to establish your mum's name and then has 15 seconds to try and guess your mum's name. Okay. Vaughn

Smith, coming off the back of a couple of hot wins the last few weeks. Okay. Hi. Good morning, Amy. Morning. Hmm. What did that tell you about her mum's name? What didn't it tell me about her mum's name? My first't it tell me about her mum's name?

My first question is, does your mum share a name with, like, a New Zealand celebrity? Has there ever been someone with a high profile? Not that I'm aware of, no. Well, this doesn't help me. At all. Okay. I'm going to put a cross beside that one. She said not that she knows of.

Yeah, I know. That's why it doesn't help me at all. If it was a definitive yes or a definitive no. Yeah. How old is your mum? Mum's 62. Okay. 62. I feel like that's the same age Mum's 62. Okay. 62.

I feel like that's the same age as my mum. Okay. So now I'm thinking of all my mum's friends. Okay. You're just going to name all your mum's friends? Yeah. How many friends does your mum have? Quite a few.

Okay. Quite a few friends. Yeah, right. They're not like, as she puts it, we don't live in each other's pockets. Wow. We don't need to go on our breakfast together every day. No. But we'll see them.

We'll enjoy our time with them. But we don't live in each other's pockets. That's brilliant. I should just open up my mum's Facebook and just scroll through her friends. She doesn't have too many friends. What's your mum? If your mum has siblings, what are her siblings' names? Her siblings' names are Delwyn, Les and Graham.

Oh. Delwyn. Delwyn. Les and Graham. Delwyn. Les. So they're all gentlemen. Delwyn for girl.

Oh, I thought Delwyn was for like Del. You know how you meet a guy called Del? No. No female Delwyn. Okay. Delwyn. I'm justwyn was for like Del. You know how you meet a guy called Del? No, no female Delwyn. Okay. Delwyn. I'm just going to put an F. And then Les is M and Graham M. Correct.

Yeah, right. So that's, she might be my mum's age, but I think they were named by older, you know, that feels like an older bracket, doesn't it? She's the baby of the family. She's a! He gave her the freebie, Amy. That's a freebie. That's a freebie, Amy.

Unbelievable. But then again, Amy, it's in Amy's best efforts, isn't it? Because she wants to win the cash. She wants to win that. But I think they win either way, right? Because they get one over me if I don't guess. Yeah. I think you're rating yourself.

I think people would rather have $100. Really? Yeah. Than slip one past the old smithy. To be able to tell their friends they've slipped one past

the old smithy. I reckon they want to see if they can slip one past the old smithy. All right. What are my other questions? What's mum's signature dish? What does mum like to cook? It's one of her go, signature dish? What does mum, like, cook?

It's one of her go-tos. She does a real good mince and cheese pie. Does she? Does she make the pastry? Does she buy the pastry pre-made? Nah, she pre-made. Lazy. Pie.

I'm going to put pie. I'm going to put pre-made pastry. And I'm going to put, like, a line under pre-made pastry and I'm going to put like a line under pre-made. Mum's busy. She doesn't have all the time to be folding butter into And what is what has mum's occupation

been throughout her life? What's her job? Oh, she's done many things. She's been a florist and a beautician and owned a business and at the moment she works at the hospital as a scheduler. Okay. All right. I feel like you've had like six questions.

Yeah. No, that's five. That's the final. What's a scheduler do at a hospital? So if you have to have like a surgery or something, they're the ones that book your time slot, basically. So she can, like if you were like. Does she take cashies under the table?

Yeah, for a bit of a bump. Well, I just had surgery two weeks ago and got them pretty quick. Oh, boy. Well, let's not get mum in trouble, Amy. Well, people have been waiting six months for a knee reconstruction. Anyway. Amy's like, it hurts. All right, well.

Some perks. All right. Vaughn, you've asked your five questions. Yep. You now have 15 seconds to guess Amy's mum's name. Amy, if you hear your mum's name, yell out, stop, that's my mum's name. Here we go, your 15 seconds, Vaughn. Okay.

Starts now. Julie, Janice, Carol, Pam, Heather, Janet, Wendy, Diane, Linda, Mary, Margaret, Susan, Patricia, Judy, Margaret. Can you stop? That's my mum's name. Was it the very last? Judy. Which one? Judy. Judy. Is it Judith or Judy? No, it's Judy. Which one? Judy. Judy. Is it Judith or Judy? No, it's Judy.

Because I had Judith written down, but I said Judy by accident. Did you? Oh, well, there you go. That's why I said it. And I was like, ah. And I stopped afterwards. Did you get last week right on the buzzer too? He did, yeah.

Wow. That's another mid-court throw. Wow. Also, controversial because I knew your mum's name was Judy and there's Judy Bailey, New Zealand celebrity, mother of the nation. And I thought... Amy!

I told you that Amy might throw you off with that. She said not they know of. You missed Judy Bailey. Would you have thought Judy Bailey? Well, when she said the age, I would have started thinking about older celebrities. Yeah, right. Okay, well, it she said the age, I would have started thinking about, like, older celebrities. Yeah, right. Okay, well, it doesn't matter anyway, Amy,

because you have won $100 cash. Congratulations. Bonus round. While you're on the phone, I'll have a go at guessing your dad's name. Now, so you've already won $100. Now, it's another $100 if Vaughn can guess your dad's name with no questions,

just one guess. Okay. Judy and... Dave. I feel like we always say Dave. Like we've previously established, there's only five dad's names. But it is a classic dad's name, isn't it? Judy and Dave.

Or Pete. Bill. Judy and Bill. Pete. We always say and Bill. Pete. We always say Peter too. We've got like a list of... Yeah, but we never strike the right one on the right time, do we? Judy and Peter. Judy and Dave.

Judy and Philip. Judy and Phil. Phil. Phil and Judy. Should we go and catch up with Phil and Judy? Yeah. Okay, well, I've just received a Facebook message from Executive Intern Anya. She does not have approval for a second $100.

So please don't give him any clues. Okay. Zinzan. Management really appreciate you taking a real left-field approach there, Vaughn, to save the company money. That's my absolute favorite. It's not Zinzan. Shucks. It's not Zinzane. Shucks, it's not Zinzane.

Amy, what's your dad's name? Dad's name's Greg. Judy and Greg. Oh, what a classic. I love it when we're like, It wasn't any of the disgust names. Oh, bloody course. Hey, Amy, congratulations.

$100. And Bourne's winning streak continues with three in a row. I bet I can guess your dad's name. Go for it. Next on Connect Four. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Yesterday, we went out for a little brunch as a show. And I opted for a controversial dish at 11am,

but it was tortellini and it came with like a tomato-y sauce. It was delicious. However... I thought it was weird to go for, can I say, a vegetarian tortellini for brunch. Yeah. Especially when there's everything else at brunch on offer. I thought it sounded delicious.

What got into your head there? Walk us through your thoughts. Well, I was a butternut tortellini, and I'm a big fan of pumpkins and the pumpkin family. Are you? I've never known you as a big fan of it, but I'm not going to go crazy about it. The pumpkin family?

No, I'm a big fan of pumpkins. Okay. Huge fan. It just sounded good. It sounded like out of the list of food available, that's what I wanted. But the problem was I was wearing a white top and this

came in like quite a soupy tomatoey I'm guessing tomatoey base. It was like bright orange. Now I always slop food down my front. Always. Like the first time we ever met I did. Yeah. And usually when my husband's there,

he's always giving me a warning, like you're wearing a white top. He always has to warn me, like, lean over my food. This is why I don't wear white tops. I don't wear white tops. Yeah. It's handy that he does that for you.

Yeah. Slash. That's sad. But he was in there yesterday. Literally the first spoonful of this tortellini and the orange saucy stuff dribbled down my white top. It was like a butter chicken orange, wasn't it? Yeah.

Very. And you tried to hide it by covering it up with your jacket, your blazer, but I noticed because of the angle. I was like, Megan, what have you done there? I had to tell the whole table. It wasn't like a little bit either. It had dribbled all down my white top. Yeah.

And a tomato, I was like, it's going to be an hour or a couple of hours before I can get it in the washing machine. It's done for. Yeah. So when I went home, I did the nappy sand paste and it got a little bit out, but there's still the orange residue. So at this point- I think you've got to learn, like, mum can get anything out with a bit of nappy sand

but I'll try it nothing. I have no luck with nappy sand. Are you doing a hot wash? You should do a cold wash. Huh? No, she just puts the she makes the paste on the top or whatever's got the stain in. She rubs it and it just seems to go. Yeah, but if you put that in a

hot water, it'll bake the stain in. You've got to use a cold water. Are you doing that? No, because she gets the stain out before there's ever a wash. Wait a minute, you're talking about what you make the paste with. No, I'm talking about when you wash it. I make the paste with the hot water. Have I gone wrong?

It depends on the stain. Doesn't it? With the hot and the cold water. I think Muggy knows something about Abyssinia. She's not sharing her secrets because she wants her secrets because she doesn't want me to put her in a home. So the minute I've got that off her, I'm done with her. I'm like, teach me how to use the Nappy Sand, woman. She's like, it's the one thing keeping me out of the retirement home. I'm like, teach me your secrets.

I'll never teach you, boy. I'm like, oh, fine then. I've got a little stain on my teeth. Pass it here. I'll get teach you, boy. I'm like, don't find it. I've got a little stain on my t-shirt. Pass it here, I'll get it out. So yeah, went through the wash, still there. Still orange. It literally was the first time I'd worn this top too. So at this point I'm like, well, stuff it, it's done for.

Yeah. Welcome to my life. I need something. This is why I don't spend much money on clothes because the first time I wear it, I ruin it. Case in point, these jeans. You need to wash those. They're so disgusting. And those are really

expensive jeans too. Those are subies. I didn't buy them. Yeah, because you were given them and you treat them with no respect. It sickens me. Those are disgusting. It's just material. We should get a swab done on those jeans. Yeah. No, we shouldn't actually. No, we a swab done on those jeans. Yeah.

No, we shouldn't actually. No, we shouldn't. Ignorant. They haven't got COVID. Ignorant. No, they'll have something else. No, I want to know what's growing on them. They might have the plague. Have any mushrooms popped up?

So close. On your jeans, I feel like they're very close. No mushrooms. You need to wash those jeans. Shiitake? Yeah, those are young ones. Are you ready for my hack though? Yes.

So at this point I'd written it off and been like, well, throw caution to the wind. And I don't have bleach because, I don't know, what do you use bleach for? So I... Doing your hair? Yes. So I got out the only thing that I knew that had bleach in the title.

It was my toilet duck bleach gel. Okay. And I toilet ducked my top. So I had the little orange blobs from the source. I literally just squirted the toilet duck on the blobs. Yeah. And left it. How long for?

Probably about 15 minutes. Oh, okay. And I came back. What was the fabric? What was the fabric? Because you know what? I would have tried as well. Ex, okay. And I came back. What was the fabric? Because you know what? I would have tried as well, exit mould. That stuff will melt anything.

That would have been my mix. Yeah. Although I read somewhere that exit mould doesn't get rid of the mould. It just bleaches the mould. Yeah, it just colours it. So unless you brush away the mould, it's still there. It's just bleached it. Have you felt what that does to your nose though.

Good luck Jim surviving that. Yeah. But I was like, well, it's either going to burn a hole or orange colour or something terrible or it's going to work. And 15 minutes later,

I came back and you can't see the stain. Wait, so you didn't have to wash once the toilet duct was on? No, but I did wash it because I wanted to stop the bleaching process. Yeah, right.

I put it in the washing machine. It came out brand new. Wow. Because I toilet ducked my top. Obviously, it's only going to work for whites because you bleach it. And you want to do a test spot first. I did do a test spot.

You did do a test spot. Down the bottom seam at the back. On the inside? Oh, no. So my mum always said you just do it on the seam on the bottom, but you do it on the inside in case it all goes. Yes, haywire. Now, I've got a navy blue top with a stain.

Should I use the blue toilet duck? Yes. Is that how that works? Yeah, and then if it takes the colour out, colour it in with a felt. Perfect. Or just do the whole thing in toilet duck to make the whole T-shirt like a light blue. Yeah, you could do that. Or tie it up and get like a beachy pattern.

Yeah. Wow. That's a good life tip though for whites. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Just make sure you wash it afterwards. Otherwise, you might have a hole.

I'll give you an update when I get home too, just in case it's like gone. There might just be a giant hole in there. Yeah. This just in. Someone used the extra melt on their undies. And it went back to white. See, I don't know why people buy white undies like they you know like a brand a brand new christmas man what are you doing in your own name i'm just saying kids come on megan regardless of how old you are megan you can do skids yeah it's not skids aren't the property of the preteen. Do better wiping. It's disgusting. Sometimes you do wipe.

Skids aren't always caused from the wipe. They're just caused from an enthusiastic fart. God. Or an itch. You have a little itch. And then all of a sudden, you've got a fart. My husband has white undies, and they are fine. You need to sort your shit out.

He's exit molding when you're not home. He's sneaking home for a little exit mold of the undies and they are fine. You need to sort your shit out. He's exit molding when you're not on. He's sneaking on for a little exit mold on the undies. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast,

why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hit music with Blue Sierra.

ZM.