ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Best Bits Podcast - 1st August 2020

Episode Date: July 31, 2020

Our compilation podcast filled to the brim with the best moments from Fletch, Vaughan & Megan this week, and a surprise visit from a surprise guest!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fleeche Warner Megan Best Bits of the Week podcast. Just in case you don't have time to listen to each individual podcast. It's a podcast for the time, economical people. It's the podcast that cuts out all the dribbly bits. There's still lots of dribbly bits. Well don't say we've got dribbly bits. The podcast is thanks to McCafe. Grab yourself a delicious barista made coffee for only $4.

Now yesterday we talked about Enya when we were talking about hot stone massages. Yeah. And Megan mentioned Enigma, so I found Enigma. Oh, this is Return to Innocence. Correct. I know my Enigma. What was Enigma's vibe? This.

Right, this whole thing. Wow. Now, was it a band or was it a singular? I believe it's a group. Right. You're right. German. A Romanian-German musician and producer put it together. What was that German band that did that?

99 Luftballons. 99 Luftballons. Find that song. 99 Luftballons. Nina. Nina. Yeah, play that. Nina.

Nina. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

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Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. I think this is my hippie upbringing in Nelson. God, it's the anthem for burning down a 5G tower, isn't it? Hey! Don't tarnish them with that shit.

Denying science what they can actually prove. What was this song? What? Was it 2013? No, I'm looking at another band who sings this Enigma Enigma Return to Innocence it's pretty it's 90s right yeah yeah 94 94 hell of a time it's been on movies hey it's been on lots of things oh yes here we go It's been on movies, eh? It's been on lots of things. Oh.

Yes, here we go. What are you doing? What are you doing? Who's that person at the party? Shit, mate. What a shit man. We're just playing German anthems now. Oh, German? 99, she loves the balloons. We're just playing German anthems now. Oh, German?

Play the podcast. What was the podcast? The song that the CIA wrote, Winds of Change. Oh, Winds of Change by Scorpio. You've got to read the chorus of this play first. Here we go. You can switch it now. 99.6 Love Pantones. This is where she kicks in that.

Here we go. Oh, God, now there's another one. There's another one, mate. Can't you skip through it? I don't want to miss it, though. Oh, for fuck's sake. You could have done this two bars ago. You're thinking of the zhooshed up version that we had.

Yeah, the 1990s punk version. 99 says no, my lords. Okay, is that enough? Are we done? Yeah, that's the only part I wanted to hear. La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la- on today's podcast. Oh, no, that was an issue we dealt with earlier in the week. Yeah, shit. Okay, soz about that. Gee whiz. You did get some lovely compliments after we raised the issues with your podcast mixing. I was pleasantly surprised. Thank you, listeners.

I think some of those were flirting, to be honest. Fingers crossed. And I wondered how genuine they were. We kind of asked for it, didn't we? Mmm. Oh look, actually bring in our surprise guest She's going to get eye twitches

Soldiers passing by By the way, this podcast This podcast The idea is that the CIA wrote this song to break down communism. Great podcast. It's wherever you get podcasts from. Welcome in to the Best Dog Podcast special, former producer Kate. Hello.

What a surprise. Bitch has a tan too. What do you mean by Bondi's tans? I was going to say. It's quite, you know, I've never been good with tans. I haven't gotten any better since moving to Christchurch. Show me your elbows. Oh, no, you have.

That's better. This was professionally done. That'll be why your elbows are perfect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What brings you in? I'm up here for a little tour that our podcast is doing. Give it a shout out. Oh, really?

Is there any tickets left? Yeah, there is a couple in Auckland. So we're in Auckland Saturday, tomorrow, and then we're in Wellington on Sunday for the Girls Uninterrupted. Like, I know it's weird. What is life? I know, I know. Just touring. What is life? I know. I know.

Just touring around. Yeah, yeah, no. It's, yeah, it's pretty lame. No, it's actually quite cool. Have you got PTSD walking in here? Yeah, a little bit. I got a little, like, shiver, a little shake. Hear the voice.

I listen to you guys in the morning. It's so weird. Is it weird? It's my alarm clock to wake me up at, 7 38 is that weird because you know all the behind the scenes and everything like you're over time i want swaffling yeah i overthink everything that happens a lot it's so rude yeah no it's good to see nothing's changed it's it's all all the same all the same don't change what isn't broken don't fix what isn't broken don't change perfection

people literally try and fix this show quite often you can't fix perfection yeah right okay um and how's christchurch life people have a lot of always ask about you oh that's so nice christchurch is good it's okay any hot boys? Can you give her some headphones? She's yelling at you. I know. Sorry. I'm losing control of my microphone. We're not normalising it. No, well, I mean, the microphone's fine. I haven't met. Hello.

That's Jared. Yeah, no, hi, Jared. Nice to meet you. I'm Caitlin. Nice to meet you. Handshakes. Okay. You're doing a good job.

You've got a tattoo? That's cool. Is that a joke? Sorry. He had an issue with the levels mixing the podcast this week. Oh, did you? Oh, okay. That's all right.

We all do that. Did you ask if that was Australia? Yeah. South Africa, Caitlin. It's Africa. It's Africa. I've been there. Whoops.

Sorry. To be fair, it was on the side. You'd have trouble with the New Zealand map on the side too, wouldn't you? Probably. Yeah. He's nice. Are you flirting with him? No.

Are you single? Oh, no. I'm good. I'm good, guys. Are there hot boys in Christchurch? Yeah, there is. Yeah, there is. Is there one hot guy in Christchurch? There's a couple.

Nah, I'm still so single, guys. It doesn't make it different. It doesn't change me. Like, I think it's me. I think I'm the problem. Oh, my God. So moving to Christchurch. What?

It's not you. Don't be a bitch. It's your circumstance. What? Thank you. It was just the location, wasn't it? No, obviously not. Yeah.

But, oh, man. What have you learnt at nurse school? Oh, my gosh, so much. Have you done injections yet? No, we don't do phlebotomy until we're at nurse school. Have you? I haven't been injecting my goats. Oh, you have.

That's right. Yeah, I'm actually shit hot on a field dressing. Like, if we were at war, I could get the bullet out and then I reckon I could sufficiently No, but have you seen in a war movie, they have to go all up in amongst all the people in the bullets and shit. Yeah, you'd be like, ah! I'd be like, hey, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You don't shoot me.

I'm going to fucking cross. I'm going to fucking cross on me. Stop shooting. I'm not going out there. No, you'd be screaming through the field like, ah! I'd be like... Don't scream. You're drawing attention to yourself. They're going to shoot me.

Geneva Convention. Geneva Convention. That's what I'd be constantly screaming. I'd drag them behind a tree. I'd be like, okay, just stay perfectly still. I'm just... I'm okay. I'm okay. Vomit in the wound, wound mate I hardly even notice that

These days So he still goes on Yeah yeah yeah No it's good I'm just Alright well enjoy the Best bits of the week podcast We're going to go out

For a brunch With former producer Yay And who's buying Because I'm a poor student Fletch Fletch Fletch She's got no dependents.

Yeah, I've lost two jobs. ZM. Hit music. Lives here. Fletch, Fawn and Megan. The podcast. Bluff or Stuff. Time to play Bluff or Stuff.

We welcome Amy to the show. Amy, good morning. Hey, guys. How are you going? Good. All right, so today, and I guess disclaimer, we have opened your prize if you win because we wanted to get a feel for the prize.

We wanted to smell it. Well, it was wrapped up in plastic, so we needed to touch it. Yeah, in the cellophane. So we are playing today, you are playing, Amy, for Good Girl. Oh, I the cellophane. So we are playing today, you are playing, Amy, for Good Girl. Oh, I've never heard of that before. And who's it by?

Carolyn Herrera. No, Carolina. Carolina. Oh, Carolina. Sorry, I had the box, but I just turned away momentarily to look at you. Hey, Amy, it's so good to be bad. Oh, I see, okay. It says on the box that I'm holding.

All right, so Amy, to win Bluntful Stuff, you've got to tell us which one of us is actually holding the box. Like right now? Right, like, yeah. One of us is holding it now. Okay. The box is actually velvet. You can hear me. You can ask questions if you like.

You don't have to just straight up guess now. Yeah, this is me rubbing the... Can you hear it? That's velvet. That's me rubbing the box. So are you guys switching it around as you talk? No. No, no, no, no.

One person's got it. We're all convincing you that we do, though. The rules of Bluffer stuff, yep. We're not allowed to switch it around on you. No. I will tell you, though, that this is the 80 mil. How many fluid ounces is that 80 mils? 2.7 fluid ounces?

Yeah, obviously. As it says here on the box. You obviously are Googling that, Vaughn. Is it open at the moment? Are you guys able to smell it? Yeah, it is. I just gave it a squirt before and it's delicious. Okay. Megan, can you tell me if it's like a florally scent or something?

I wouldn't actually say it's not very florally, no. She's got this herself, so she could totally just be drawing from memory. Yeah, she is. She's doing it right now. I would say it's rich, dark, mysterious. That's how I'd describe it as. You're reading the website. You're reading the press release.

It doesn't have anything. I think it's important we talk about the bottle that I'm holding because it's actually a high heel. It's a beautiful high heel bottle. Oh, I know the one. How did you get it out of the box? Yeah. I didn't really hear the box open or anything.

Which I thought we would have. I didn't put it right by the microphone. Which we would have if you'd opened it. Whereas if you listen now, you'll hear me opening the box. I feel like this is a hard one because you could all just be watching everyone fiddling with it but I don't know who's actually got it. Listen, I'll just tap it on the desk.

That's your Makona. Hey, hey. To prove to you, I've got it, Amy. I'll squirt it. Ready? Listening. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Let me have another go. To prove that I'm holding it, I'll squirt it. This is much more convincing. Oh, this is hard. That was much more convincing. Okay, Amy, I want you to eliminate one of us now. Just one of us. You.

Me. Fletch. Okay. That's because you banged your Makona on the desk. That is correct. Yes. Okay, so I'm definitely not holding it. So it's either Vaughn or Megan.

Do you have a final question? I feel like I should, but I don't know. You've been overselling it, but you could just be trying to trick me. She's passionate about it because she owns one. Who's been overselling it? Me. Yes. So I feel like you could be overselling it to make up for the fact that you don't hold it,

but you could actually be still holding it. So I really don't know. This is mucking with my mind. One of us is about to shake it. Okay, ready? Three, two, one. It didn't sound real. I don't believe that.

That actually was the box. Okay, Amy, who's holding it? Vaughn or Megan? Megan. Megan. You, who's holding it? Vaughn or Megan? Megan. You want to lock in Megan? Lock her in for a Megan. Yeah, I'm nervous, but I'll go for it. That is incorrect.

You should have gone with your gut, Amy. I'm sorry. Damn it. Oh, God. Thank you guys so much anyway. I'll remember next time. Thanks, Amy. Thanks, Amy. Thanks, Amy.

It's always heartbreaking this game when someone loses. You can tell that Vaughn was holding it because he's like, someone's going to shake the box, ready? And he fades out what he's saying because he had to concentrate. But then prior to that, I was making it, the best one is just to be an agent of chaos and just to make it sound like other people have got the box when you've got the box and then make it sound like you've got the box.

It's all about just chaos. He held up the perfume to the microphone and went... I could have squinted it, but I didn't. We didn't want to waste your prize. No. All right, well, Bluff... Well, somebody else's prize now. Bluff Willstaff returns at future time in the show.

Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Kainé, you've got to start again. You've got to give me the warning for my theme song time in the show. Kynah, you've got to start again. You've got to give me the warning for my theme song for a new game we're playing. I thought this was your theme. What do you mean? Oh, you're not singing, are you? Yeah. I'll give you a recap.

Yesterday on the show, we were talking about when you broke up with someone and left their house at the final time, pulling all the labels off the cans as a real ha, gotcha, but not too vindictive. And I said I'd rate myself to be able to work out what was in a can pre-opening the can. If it had no label on it. No label.

Right. With knowledge of what I had in the pantry. Yeah, right. And you guys said there's no way you could do it, and I said I bet I can. And so I have got people, and I had nothing to do with the selection of these four cans. Yeah, producer Jarrah's brought these in. Four cans.

Four cans that have all got ring tabs on them. They all look identical. And it's time to play. Can he guess the can, can? What is in the tin, tin? What is in the can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can? That was pretty good on the fly. Yeah, that was.

I mean, it's a very well-known tune. So when you're going to guess these four cans, unlabeled, you're going to guess what's in each of them. Well, you said I can guess the spaghetti. That was your thing. You were like, I know it. I like the up the steaks. He can guess what's in each one.

Now, if you don't guess, though, if you're wrong, when you open the can, you have to have a spoonful of what's in there. I didn't see a spoon here. I wondered if the ante had been upped. Well, we did think you'd have to eat the whole can, but we don't have time for those. They're all edible for starters. There's no jelly made or anything.

Yeah. They're all identical. They all have rip tabs. This is what blows my mind. All got rip tabs, and they are identical cans. They've all got the imprint in the top. No identifying feature. Like, those cans could be anything.

Yeah. So you'd shake, right? Well, you can do with them what you will. Hey, don't look at the bottom. I wonder if it doesn't say anything. It says 1108. So that's nothing. I guess that's some sort of, if you opened it and there was a glass shard in it,

you could ring the factory and be like, I believe this production number was this. Yeah, right. But you can shake the can. You can do whatever you need to do to. Oh, yuck. So that sounds, that's too tightly packed. It's like that could be a spaghetti. That could be a spaghetti.

There's a lot in there. Okay. Well, that's can number one. Okay. Okay. How? That's similar. That's similar. That's similar. Putting those one and two.

Oopsie, one and two. Gotta go through all four. Can three. That's a little bit thicker. Feels like it could be a little bit thicker. Now one of those tins is spaghetti. Alright, listen. That's fruit juice.

Fruit juice? Fruit salad. It's like peaches. Like peaches. Peaches or, yeah, like a fruit salad. I'm actually going to be so impressed if you get one of these. This is this one I feel most confident about. Okay, this is can four. You need to lock in your guess. Peaches.

Okay. Open it. What is this? Canned tomatoes? Is it tomatoes and juice? I believe it's condensed tomato soup. Take a spoonful. Pretty good.

It's like tomato sauce. Are you kidding? Don't have another one. It's like China sauce. Are you kidding? Don't have another one. It's cold China sauce. Okay, well, that's got to be like 80% sugar, right? And 20% tomatoes. I'd say so, yeah. That is pretty.

Okay, save yourself the other one. Stop eating it! All right, well. So you're nil for one. Okay, so that was nothing. There was nothing in that apart from soup. Yep. This is back to can three.

That does sound thick. Now, this is, you yesterday said, I can perk it to a spaghetti. I reckon beans. Beans. Okay. Like baked beans. Baked beans.

Okay. I was right, I was right. You did it. I'll have a spoonful of this to celebrate. Well, you don't have to eat... It's got little sausages in it! Oh, so technically you were wrong. Oh, we splashed out.

Didn't we? Yeah, we spent that extra 50 cents. Is that Wode's? Yeah. That is an oak. Well, we're not going to do oak. We're not going to... I don't think oak does sausages, do they?

Who knows? Stupid Oak. So this is thicker. I reckon this is... No, so I'm just being told that was the all-day breakfast in a can. What the hell is an all-day breakfast? What else is in here? I can only see sausages and beans.

Well, I think that's what an all-day breakfast is. I'm going to have one more to celebrate. I'm going to have one more to celebrate. I'm going to give you half a point for that. Because technically there is baked beans in there. Yeah. Okay, what's this one? This is fun. Now, which...

You thought, ha-ha, if he gets it wrong, he's going to have to eat cold soup. And you thought you had one over on me, but you don't know how I grew up poor. Okay, now one of these tins is spaghetti. Okay, now one of these tins is spaghetti. Okay, hold on. Is one thicker than the other? Oh, they sound the same. Yeah, see, this one sounds slightly sloppy. Slightly less sloppy.

This one sounds sloppier. Right, okay. And I'm just trying to think, what could be... What could the other one be? This is spaghetti. Can one. Can one. Can one. Okay, can one.? This is spaghetti. Can one. Can one. Can one.

Okay, can one. He's called it. Hey! Da, da, da, da, da. A little bit to celebrate. I'm actually impressed. That's two. That is pretty good.

Hold it. Mmm. Name the brand. So what do you think is in that one? That's definitely a waddy spaghetti. And the last turn,

what's in there? It's, hmm, hmm, hmm. I'm puzzled. It doesn't feel like it's moving enough to be beans because beans as individual units would move a little bit more. What is it then? It's not spaghetti. It's just, hmm.

I've got no idea. What else comes in a can? Should I go beans? I'm going to go beans. Okay, straight up baked beans. No, this is your all-day breakfast. Look at this chunky bit of yum, bit of sauce, bit of bacon. I have one to celebrate.

Was that meatballs? No, it's just little bit of sausage. That's pretty good. Okay, great. All of these have been pretty young. You did pretty good. You did two out of four. Yeah, two out of four.

Yeah. And had I known what was in my cupboard, I would have guessed that was the soup because it was the sloppiest. Yeah, right. I was blind. Wow. You are pretty much an X-ray of tinned food. Guess you could say, play my theme song again.

Hey, guess what was in the can? Candles in the tin, tin. I guess you could say he did, he did, he can, he could. All right, well, I'll just be over here eating four cans of complex carbohydrates if anyone needs me. I've seen this floating around for the last little while. And I think this is an old British thing, but lots of things are old British things and they're yuck. And this looks to be joining the ranks of it, but it kind of got to the point where even Marmite posted about it. It's a hot Marmite.

Oh, I saw this. Is this why you brought in today not just your coffee, but a cup of Marmite? Is that what that is? Right. This is a hot Marmite. Now, this is a spoon, a heaped spoon of Marmite and hot water, and then you add some cold water to...

The weird thing about it is it's got some floaties. Oh, what yeast floaties? What are they? But every now and then the floatie will be like zomp to the side. And you know when you leave miso soup for too long and it starts to like separate? What have you done here? It also looks like that's happening. I made a Vegemite one.

Oh, I don't want either of those. Vaughn's like, I'm a Vegemite guy. I am a Vegemite guy. Yep, there don't want either of those. Vaughan's like, I'm a Vegemite guy. I am a Vegemite guy. Yep, there you go. Why did you mix that? In terms of a drink, I actually reckon Vegemite drink would be better. They look different, don't they? That looks like a really dark coffee.

Like you've had a whoopsie of milk in there. It does. I actually can't smell it, though. Can you smell it? Sweater, how much Vegemite did you put in there? Well, the jar's there. Look at it, though. Look at just...

Excuse me, that's my personal stash, and I'll be having that with some Chibata later. And I shall be having you depleting my stock. But run a side-by-side. Yep. Is that enough? That's enough to get a taste. Do you want another one?

How much, though? Tell me. Was it like a half a teaspoon? No, Bounty told me to do a heap teaspoon, and that's what I did. So you did a heap teaspoon and that's a heap teaspoon. Well, that's already the Marmite's darker, isn't it? The Marmite looks like a fuller beverage.

Thank you, Arnie, for using your Vegemite. It's like a weak soup. You're welcome, Fletch. Thank you for saying thank you. Like a stock. I mean, it's technically like a savoury, like an OXO cube, isn't it? Is that disgusting? Like a beef soup with no bits in it.

Could you use it as a stock? Probably. I think people do, yeah. Really? What would it go well with though? Just like in a stew or casserole. Okay, that could richen up like a casserole or a stew. Try it. Okay, I'm going to try Marmite first. Can you smell it? I can't smell it.

I mean, it tastes like a miso soup. Yeah. It just wasn't what I expected it to be, so it bounced all the way down. I found... You're going for a second sip, though. I don't... Yeah, it's like a miso. If I do, I have Marmite, but my jar of Marmite the other day,

I looked at the expiry date. It was 2016. It doesn't expire. Don't believe the hype. Oh, but I threw it out because I was like, I can't believe this is, does it not go off?

No. You're such a princess with that shirt. I'll be like, that's all right. Megan, it's 2020. That's pretty much a pickle. It's pretty much a pickle.

It's fine. I taught the kids the other day. They were like, Vegemite's empty. I'm like, no, it's not. And you get out the spatula and you, like, get it right into the corner

and you do a hard run around. You've got at least three more pieces of toast in there. Yeah. And then did you take them into the World War II bunker? So you're trying the Vegemite now. Okay, the Vegemite tastes like a vegetable soup and the Marmite taste like a miso. So add a stretch if you didn't have miso paste.

If you didn't have soup, if you were out like camping or whatever, this could be like a kind of a nice hot drink. Right. Otherwise, back to the coffee. Well, you're not poo-pooing it. I'm not poo-pooing it. Oh, no, certainly not in the place of a coffee. I'd say more in the place of a soup.

Right, okay. Than a coffee. Certainly not a coffee replacement. But you're not going to finish those. No. Flesh for an Amegan. The podcast. ZM.

Flesh for an Amegan's radio Tinder. Well, it's like Tinder, but it's on the radio. In real life. Yes. After a three-month stint in Singletown, she's ready to watch some rugby, have a drink and a laugh. Me too.

You could be 18 or 80. She's casting a wide net. But if you're a guy or a girl that's ready for adventures, she could be the one for you. Meet Laura. Yay, Laura. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning.

A three-month single stint. So what, pre or post lockdown? In lockdown. During lockdown. You broke up in lockdown? Yeah. Over Zoom? On the phone.

Should have gone Zoom. Should have gone professional. Yeah. Can we ask, did you do the breaking up? It was kind of mutual He's super lovely But you know Just not making each other happy

So you know Time to move on Okay right So just in your bio there A couple of things Casting the net wide Yeah not that wide Not 80

Did we misread that When you said casting the net wide? I think not that wide. Not 80. Did we misread that when you said casting the net wide? I think I just said age is nothing but a number, but 80 is a pretty big number. But there's that thing. Is it big in Florida? No, what do they call them? Like black widows?

Yeah, they hook up with rich old dudes before they die. They get their will. Oh, yeah, nah. I'm not about that life, bud. Oh, neither. I never flirted with you. Neither. That's why I didn't know about it.

You know what? I'm old school. I'll sleep with old men for no money. That's what people say about me. Yeah, right. Okay. I'm the daddy long legs. We're making spider analogies.

And guy or girl? Yeah, yeah. I'm pretty picky, but gender's just not one of the things I'm picky about. So how old are you? I'm 25. And what would be your, do you have like a limit age-wise? Yeah, like if you're born in 2000 or later, please don't. I can't.

Sorry. Okay, so what are kind of some of the things that you're into? Any hobbies or sports? Oh, I don't. I love reading and I love rugby. I love going to the rugby and watching the game. If you don't support the Chiefs, also don't bother.

I'm sorry. Deal breaker. Deal breaker. This season, you're really cutting your numbers back. Yeah, I know. But I'm loyal. Real loyal to a fault.

Loyal Chiefs. What kind of reading are you into? What do you read? Real nerdy books Like The Witcher Game of Thrones All that sort of Weird stuff

What do you say They're nerdy Breaking through Into the mainstream Yeah Yeah they are mainstream But yeah That side of things

Yeah the fantasy side Of stuff Cool So what are you Looking for In a partner Apart from like A cheap supporter Just someone to You know Have a bit of fun Cool So what are you looking for in a partner Apart from like a chief supporter

Just someone to You know have a bit of fun I want to have fun It's not like I'm wanting to test drive All the cars and then walk home But yeah just want to you know have a bit of fun Someone who's keen to go on adventures And just chill Would you be open to someone who's not a chief supporter

I just feel like you'd be Cutting off a lot of people listening right now Or what if they're just like not into rugby And you can who's not a chief supporter? I just feel like you'd be cutting off a lot of people listening right now. Or what if they're just not into rugby and you can mould them into a chief supporter? Yeah, if they're not into rugby, that's cool. But if you support the Blues or something, it's not going to happen. It's a deal breaker. Right, okay. All right.

Fleetbourne and Megan's Radio Tinder. And Laura is with us in studio this morning to play Radio Tinder. And we have girls and guys lined up. Do you have a preference for one more than the other, or are you just straight down the middle? I'm just straight down the middle. Yeah, no preference. Love the people.

It's cool. Yeah, love the people. Somebody messaged in saying, too bad I'm a heterosexual female. You sound like a real catch. That's obviously from a fellow Chiefs supporter who doesn't mind reading a little bit of fantasy. Never say never.

Good luck out there, girlfriend. Never say never. Never say never. Yeah. All right, well, we have our callers ready to go. Chris, good morning. Morning, guys. How are you?

Good, good, Chris. Now, Laura, if you will, ask some questions and then decide if you're swipe left or right. Hey, Chris, how's it going? Hey, good, and you, Laura? Yeah, I'm good, thanks. Real important question. If you could be a superhero, what one would it be?

I kind of dig Batman. Oh, Batman, okay. Yeah. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, I dig it, I dig it. Good answer. And another super important question. If you had a billion dollars, what would you do with it? Oh, that's a billion dollars.

I'd probably obviously settle myself first with everything I need and invest quite a bit and probably help who I can under the right conditions. All the help got you over the line there, Chris. Megan's like, shopping, shopping, shopping. But guys, he's Batman. He can't tell you what he's really going to do with his billions. Yeah, that's true. I'm a secret identity.

He's going to get a new Batmobile. Shh. New Batmobile. Chris. Wow. Okay. She liked the Batman. I liked the Batman. Yeah. You liked the Batman. I liked the Batman, yeah.

You liked the Batman. Yeah, yeah. Ayrton joins us. Good morning, Ayrton. How we doing? Good, good. Hey, mate, how's it going? Yeah, really good, thanks.

You too? Yeah, good, thanks. Real big question. You obviously know I'm a rugby fan, so if you had $1,000, what would be your ideal first date to take me on? Probably going to have to be a Chiefs-Blues game. Ooh, okay.

I feel like that'd be a bit of a rivalry for you. Yeah, yeah. A nice meal. And then probably a relaxing spa or something. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that sounds all right. A relaxing spa. Where?

A relaxing spa. That sounds delightful. That sounds fine. I'm down. A relaxing spa. Can we just skip the rugby and go straight to the relaxing spa? Are we doing like a spa treatment, like a relaxing spa treatment, or are you talking like the bubbly, bubbly pool?

Oh, we could go all out and do the whole treatment. Yeah, good, okay, good. Because they have the bubbly pool spa as well, don't they? They can do, yeah. They can do, yeah. Yeah, and you've got $1,000. You may as well splurge, really. Yeah, but to be honest,

by the time you've gone to the rugby, half of that's gone on hot chips and little chardonnays and plastic glasses. No, they're not going to be, yeah, but they've been out for that nice meal, remember? So presumably you ate enough there to, By the time you've gone to the rugby, half of that's gone on hot chips and little chardonnays and plastic glasses. Yeah, but they've been out for that nice meal, remember? So presumably you ate enough there to tide you over. Yeah. Okay, one more question.

Can you describe yourself in three words? Humorous. Adventurous. Intelligent. That's a good trifecta. Yeah, that's a real good trifecta. adventurous and intelligent. Ooh, that's a good trifecta. Yeah, that's a real good trifecta. Okay, which way are we going there? Oh, we'll go with the up, shall we? God, okay, all right.

James, good morning. James. Oh, it might have dropped out. We'll go to Romy. Romy, good morning. Good morning, how are you? Good, good. Oh, hi, Romy. Romy, good morning. Good morning. How are you? Good, good. Oh, hi, Romy.

How are you? I'm great, thank you. Oh, that's good. Okay, question for you. What was the last show you binged watched? Oh, okay. It would have been Good Girls on Netflix. Oh.

About the drug smuggling mum? Yeah. Is there a new season coming out? You guys can catch up and watch it together Yeah, that could be a good show to introduce me to Okay, and Romy, do you watch rugby at all? Oh yeah, you know, I love the Chief Wow, that was brilliant.

I love that, Chief. I don't watch rugby, but I'm totally open to becoming a Chief supporter. Oh. Okay. How are we feeling there? Which way are we swiping? Yeah, we may as well go up.

Okay. Way to make Gail feel good about herself. That's a super like an up. Yeah, oh, super like, yeah. Okay, we'll as well go up. Okay. Way to make Gail feel good about herself. That's a super like an up. Yeah, oh, super like, yeah. Okay, we'll push that button. All right, Romy, fantastic weight there. Let's go to Tiffany. Tiffany, good morning.

Good morning. Hey, Tiffany, how are you? I'm swell. I'm feeling blessed and grateful. Oh. Okay. Okay, question. Hashtag. Question for you, Tiffany. What is your ideal Sunday? Oh. Okay. Hashtag.

Question for you, Tiffany. What is your ideal Sunday? My ideal Sunday would probably have to be taking a walk with my dog and then going home and doing some painting and maybe some yoga. Yeah. You sound so lovely, but that sounds real boring to me i'm so sorry if it helps if it helps i paint like really weird things i do like really weird feminist drawings so i mean i'm not just like sitting and painting like bob ross painting oh okay yeah that's definitely the picture like vaginas with teeth in them so you know. Okay. Whoa. I need to see these. Okay. Okay.

You're playing vaginas with teeth in them. Yeah, vaginas with teeth in them. Old men simping and dressed as dogs. You know, just things like, you know, just very general things like that. Real general. Yeah, vaginas with teeth and then she calms herself by doing some yoga. Wow. Okay. I like it.

Yeah, I don't have another question. I'm so sorry. You sound lovely, but it's going to be a no from me. Thank you, Tiffany. I need to see these pictures. I know. Please send us photos of your pictures, Tiffany. We need to see those, just purely to see how those go.

James, good morning. Welcome to Radio Tinder. Oh, good morning. How's it going? Good, James, good. Hey, James, how are you? Yeah, good morning. Welcome to Radio Tinder. Good morning. How's it going? Good, James. Good. Hey, James. How are you? Yeah, good, thanks. How about yourself? Yeah, good. Question for you. What kind of car do you drive? I've got a little

Toyota Auris. It's a proper little nana car. A nana car. Love that. It's fuel economy. Yeah, and that's important. Fuel economy. That's real important. Are you a car chick? Do you like cars? No, I just wanted to know.

I like that he didn't lie, though. He wasn't ashamed of it. He wasn't ashamed of it. Good on you, mate. Be confident in your nana car. Well, you know, honestly, I normally bike everywhere as well. So it's just like... Do you?

I'll have a little run around and I'll be all right. Are you like environmentally conscious? Yeah, pretty much. I've started doing the whole vegetarian thing to an extent. Oh, well, I'm vegan, so maybe I can just convert you the whole way. Yeah, you can try, but... But bacon, yeah. But bacon, yeah.

Yeah, okay. Okay, and then a real deep question for you. Are you a feminist? Oh, yeah, I guess so, but I mean, like... Yeah, not that to know. I'm sorry, that was a slow answer. Depends how militantly feminist you mean. Militantly feminist!

James. You're getting a thumbs down. A thumbs down. You're getting a thumbs down. I'm sorry, mate mate You should have tapped out You should have just left it in the car James thanks For outplaying Radio Tinder

AJ our last match today For Radio Tinder Good morning Oh g'day mate How's it going Good mate good Alright Laura

G'day mate How are you Yeah not too bad Not too bad Man you sound real chill Do you surf or something No but I'm from the lovely Papamoa area Yeah, not too bad, not too bad. Man, you sound real chill. Do you surf or something? No, but I'm from the lovely Papamoa area, so that's good.

Yep, yep, sounds good, sounds good. So what do you do on a Friday night? On a Friday night? Depending if I'm on call for fire service or not, but if I'm on call, it's pretty boring. What are you, a fireman? Yeah. Okay, no more questions. Thumbs up. We literally... We both just sat up in our seat.

What? Make sure you pack the uniform for that date there, AJ. Fantastic. There we go, Radio Tinder Laura. You did well. You did well. Quite a few swipes there. Yeah. Well, we'll put you in touch with those people. Yeah, thanks.

This was more successful than normal Tinder, so. Okay, great. That's a ringing endorsement. It is. It's far more brutal, though, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, a lot more brutal. Bye.

Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. You guys ready for a bit of this? So this TV show, so unresolved. And because this is an unsolved. That's what it promises. This is an unsolved mystery. In your house.

Yeah, this is only 30 seconds long. What do you want me to do at the end of this TV theme song? Just click it back to the start. I can't keep doing that every 30 seconds. Because I've got to give my all to telling this story. I'll just bring in another music lead. You're fine. It's got five seconds left.

And fade down, bring up the end. Not smooth from you. Not smooth from you. Sorry. So, for my birthday in February, remember February? Yep. Oh, and a lifetime ago.

Forever ago, but also yesterday. For my birthday, one of my presents was some custom socks. Custom socks. I shall now remove my boot and show you my sock. Wow. I mean, you knew that you were going to talk about this. Guys, shush. It's the pacing of a good story.

Okay. It's faded a little bit, but as you can see, that is my Cal Humphrey. Oh, yeah, it is. I thought it was. It's my Humphrey socks. I thought it was a, what are those cute things in the trees that don't move? Orangutans. No.

Sloth. I thought it was a sloth. Willie's kind of got a slothy orangutan vibe to him. Yeah. This is Humphrey, my cow. Just, again, side note, if I'd got Leo socks, you would absolutely just. Yeah, we would have.

Yeah, we definitely would. Okay, good. You may have noticed he's a double standard. I do it, it's cute, you do it, it's sick, Nick. Yeah, okay. Good. Like, just, I think it, it's cute, you do it, it's sick, Nick. Yeah, okay. Good. Like, just, I think it was yesterday, I put my arms around my wife and gave her a kiss in public.

I was like, man, if I saw Megan do this, I'd be on her. No, I'm just happy you can recognise the double stick. No, no, it's definitely recognised. Okay. So I received two pairs of custom socks. This pair featuring Humphrey. Yeah. And one other pair featuring Hermione. So I got two pairs of custom socks. This pair featuring Humphrey. Yeah. And one other pair featuring Hermione.

So I got two pairs of cow socks. Okay. Terrible quality, by the way. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know what? They look terrible, but they're actually not a bad sock. Like, you know, like they don't cause your foot to sweat unduly. Or, you know, they've lasted all right.

They've faded a little bit, but they've been worn a lot. So as I slip my boot back on, At the weekend, I was doing my laundry, and I went to put away my Humphrey socks, and I found one Humphrey sock. Now, you may remember I only got one pair of Humphrey socks. That in total would equal how many socks? Two socks. Two socks, correct.

And there was another two socks with Hermione on the socks. Okay. Forget the Hermione socks for now. Do the Hermione socks look very different to the Humphrey socks? Very different. Okay. This is Humphrey's tiled and tight, whereas on the Hermione socks there's a gap between Hermione's.

Okay. This is a tightly packed Humphrey sock. Okay. So I get to and I find one Humphrey sock. I'm like, ah, damn it, I've lost the other Humphrey sock. So I go to search in where I keep my socks for my other Humphrey sock. I get there. I find the pair of Humphrey socks already there.

And now I have an extra Humphrey sock. Where the f*** did this come from? So I've not lost the sock. Humphrey socks had a child. I've not lost the sock. I've gained a sock. But you only ever ordered two pairs of socks. I only ever got one pair of Humphrey socks. And for months I've been lost a sock. I've gained a sock. But you only ever ordered two pairs of socks. I only ever got one pair of Humphrey socks.

And for months I've been wearing them. And then I go to put away my rogue Humphrey sock. Yep. The pair of Humphrey socks is already there. Well, were there two in the packet? There was not. Because if unless for every time I've pulled on that sock, I've been pulling on two socks at once

and they put in three socks in the original pack because then I panic. I think I'm losing my mind. Yeah. So I individually interviewed my family. Yeah. I say, Sade, I was just like, well, the kids aren't here. Did you put them into a little room

and start the tape recorder and you're like, all right, Vaughn Smith here with- A lamp in their face. I was like, when you bought me those Humphrey and Hermione socks, correct me, there weren't two pairs of Humphrey socks and one pair of Hermione socks. Sharlay's like, no, no, no, there was one pair of Humphrey and one pair of Hermione.

And I said, well, explain this. I bought three socks. And she's like, what? I'm like, where did this other sock come from? You didn't order another pair since. No. I was like, because it's exactly the same. They would have needed the template of the original sock

to create the identical third sock. You must have had one inside the other. You must have. So for every time I put on these socks, which has been like months. Do you want to take it in a drink? You would have noticed if you were double socking. If I was double socking, I totally would have.

Because it would have felt different to pulling on the other sock, which is still a single sock. I would have been like you were double socking. If I was double socking, I totally would have. Because it would have felt different to pulling on the other sock. Yeah. Which is still a single sock. I would have been like, these socks feel different. Investigate. Where did the third sock come from? This actually deserves to be on Unsolved Mysteries. And was the third sock as worn as the other two socks?

Yes. Oh. Yeah, this does sound like the next episode of Unsolved Mysteries. Where did the third sock come from? And are you going to find a fourth sock? Imagine Mysteries. Where did the third sock come from? And are you going to find a fourth sock? Imagine if I do. And where did that come from? Could it be the guy living in your ceiling space that also ordered a pair?

He also got a pair of Humphrey socks. And he dropped it out and he's like, uh-oh, my cover's blown. And he's watching me. And now I only have one Humphrey sock. Yeah, he's like, damn, now I'm going to have to walk around sockless with my one. I can't explain. Of all the years of losing socks, which I've found out the dog's been snatching off the line and bearing in the garden. I was pulling a weed up and I pulled it up and a sock came with it.

I was like, how did the sock get in there? That's actually how socks are made. There's only one explanation. They grow. Yeah, they grow socks. The roots of weeds are socks. Grow socks, yep. So I've gained a sock. I'm a sock up

and I cannot explain it for the life of me. And Sade was like, I'll find it. And she found the email because she ordered them online and it was one pair of each socks. They must have slipped one in double socked accidentally. And so you're saying it's just been playing roundabouts.

Because I'm pretty good with my socks. I notice when there's a rogue sock. And when you put them away, you bunch them in together? Always bunch them in together. Even when I'm hanging them on the line, I hang them side by side. Because when I'm getting them off the line, I bunch them in before I put them in the basket. And you've never hung three hundred socks?

That's a mystery. That pair of socks had a sock baby. That's the only explanation. Well, shit. I don't know. If you find a fourth sock, baby. That's the only explanation. Well, shit. I don't know. If you find a fourth sock, please do. We're perplexed. Man, that is messing with me. I know. Unless this is your family's

plan to make you lose your mind. Oh my god. They're going to put me in a institution. I mean, you'd be the youngest person in a home by a long time. But I've always said it would be great because everyone's quiet. There's pudding every night. Early bird. They all watch The Chase.

Yeah. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. We've got an update on No We Don't. It was a ruse. What? We don't have a sock update, Fletch.

That's a surprise for you because we know how much you love this. Oh, piss off. I don't want to do this now. Yay. Yay. No. I'm going home. Just drag this out for as long as you want. That face was amazing. I actually thought you were going to get.

Anger, confusion, despair. It had it all. I don't want to do this. It had it all. What are we doing? So it was actually picked up by the fact Jared, who joined the show, producer Jared. Oh, he's in trouble. He's the latest on board.

He said that he noticed, and maybe I've been with you for so long now. Yeah. 16 and nearly a half years. Yeah. I haven't noticed this. Right. I've teased you a couple of times, but then just got used to it. Wait, so is this a segment where we're bullying me?

Effectively, yes. Yes. You're right. There should be something in the button bar called sock one. Yes, there is. Do you have sock one? Do you want me to play this? Wait, not yet.

Okay. This is from Wednesday last week. This is one day. Oh, my God. Between the hours of seven and nine. Is this me saying the time wrong? It's you saying the word. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. Well, I could do that for every time you said the. Or hello. Like, obviously I say that all right. Because it's what I do to wrap you guys up. Because you won't. Or hello. Like, obviously I say that alright.

Because it's what I do to wrap you guys up because you won't stop yarning. Like, alright. Alright. There's only one place you'll find more alrights. Is there SOC 2 there? Yes. So we've put all your alrights into the other place and it's not Matthew McConaughey. Right, okay. There's more alrights

about your or my animal rights. All right, now, fellas. Yeah! Now, what's cooler than being cool? Ice cold. I can't hear you. I say, what's cooler than being cool? Here it comes. Here it comes.

Here it comes. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. Alright, alright, alright. The last one's my favourite. Piss off. It's just a little giggle on the last one. Alright. Alright. Cool.

Were you guys happy? Alright. I'm pretty happy. I'm pretty happy. Alright. Just keep an ear out for that from the rest of the show because that happens

about 14 times a show. I'm going to make a montage of all of yours. What's mine? I don't know but I'll find one make a montage of all of yours. What's mine? I don't know, but I'll find one. Find one for both of you. All right. All right.

All right. Next on the show. All right, next. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. What would Ray Ray say? Joining us on the phone with Pearls of Wisdom. She's our own little oyster and we're ready to shuck her wide open. And then once we've had our pearl, we'll be

like... and eat the oyster. That analogy creeps me out. I'll admit, it was weird. Ray Ray, good morning. Good morning. I nearly had to go for a pee-pee. Why? I've been waiting for ages.

Sorry, I told you she was going to... Sorry, Anna, not to call too early. Why? I've been waiting for ages. Oh. I told you she was going to do it. Sorry, told Anna not to call too early. You know what I am. I'm tired, overworked, and underpaid. Now, as always, listeners have reached out with some questions that they hope you can give some advice on. All right. You ready, Mum?

Question number one. My mother-in-law is so horrible to me, she makes me want to end my relationship. How do I put up with her? That is from an A-papus. No, no, he calls me Mother Dearest. He does. He does?

Because Mum makes him. Oh, you like that. He does love the older birds, though, doesn't he? He's totally under my thumb. He addresses her and she's like, what did you call me? You know what you're supposed to call me. Oh my God.

That's intense. Mother dearest. Yeah. There's various grades of mother-in-law. But you could deal with this by saying something is not, when she says something, say that's not so nice and you're very uncomfortable with it tell her how wonderful she is

and then you can ask her how come she knows so much and does she ever make mistakes and then the other thing is you could tell your spouse to visit her house don't come round I know some people that do that the father-in-law's

fine but the mother-in-law's problematic. So they say, if you want to see her, you go see her. Oh, wow. I'll be otherwise engaged. And then what do you do at Christmas? Just have to kind of grin and bear it? Yeah, I'm afraid so. There's some days where you just can't get away from it.

Yeah, spend minimal amount of time there. Or you could be certain and say, well, I'm sorry, but I'm not having Christmas at my place. I'm going to my daughter's house. Okay, all right. Next question is, do I have to ask my mum this? Yes. How do I get in the mood when my partner always seems to want it?

Well, I thought, what's it? Is that a snuggle or a watch TV? But anyway, I've got three tips. You surprise them in the shower, I presume it was, you know, the nudge, nudge. See, I didn't want to, I didn't want to. Yes! There we go.

There we go. She's getting started. She's popping it up again. Is this the same shower that Megan uses when she's home? No, I don't know. Both showers. Sweet shower. We've only just had one shower in that house for years. I showers. Sweet shower, family shower. Come on, remember it's a family show.

We've only just had one shower in that house for years. I've only just got a second bathroom. Okay. Yeah. So remember it's a family show. We've got to keep it clean. You remember. Three tips.

Right, now there's three tips. You surprise them in the shower. You send them flirty text messages. Or it's cooked in a naked. Cooked in a naked? Not bacon, no. You want one of that? Do you eat your penny though?

You've got to be careful what you cook. Yeah, okay. No oil. You've got to beware of splashes. So you're just saying spice it up a little bit. Do something a bit unusual, a bit odd.

Yeah. Okay. I just hope those aren't from experience. Don't answer that. I was waiting for the answer. Question three. Question three, moving along swiftly.

My friend is super sensitive but always asks me questions and then gets upset with my honest opinion. How do I deal with this? Well, you have to be very careful because words can be very hurtful and you must deliver criticism tactfully. But if they consider you to be a good friend, well, they'll take your comments well. You've got to let them know that you just want them to feel safe.

You're just giving some, you know, constructive criticism about something. This is some bullshit, my mum, because this is not how she delivers criticism to me. Oh, no, that's different. That's all right. I don't have to worry about your feelings. Yeah, that's family. No sugarcoating with family.

Yeah, just give it to you, both barrels. Yeah, but that's good advice, though. Yeah, words can be so hurtful. I mean, it doesn't matter, really. You've just got to be very tactful. I mean, some people just get up to your both barrels and it's just so hurtful. Yeah, you've just got to be very careful.

But if it's your good friend, it makes a big difference. You've got to, yeah, you've got to work at it. Okay. Maybe Mum will heed her own advice. Brilliant advice. I'll let you get back to the shower or the bathroom. No, gymnastics. I'm about to do my gymnastics.

What do you mean? Do you do, like, a home gymnastics routine? Oh, you probably call it vacuuming, but? No, gymnastics. I'm about to do my gymnastics. What do you mean? Do you do like a home gymnastics routine? Oh, well, you probably call it vacuuming, but I call it gymnastics. Yeah. Oh, God. You have different words for different jobs. Right.

Right, okay. God, I'm worried about what she calls vacuuming now. Yeah. Hang in there. Thanks, Ray Ray. Fleshforn and Megan, Ray Ray. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM.

What I'm about to do is going to definitely secure me a long-term employment contract. Because I've had some some correspondence last time we did this. People really liked it. But last time

it was a little bit different. It was where'd you get your pussycat? But today it is... Hit it. How'd you name your pussycat? Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

Is it really necessary to come in so hot? Yeah, you did come in quite hot. You've got to come in hot. Otherwise, is there any point? So, this is kind of born from the fact last time we did this, people love telling stories about their cats. Like, when we did this last time, it went crazy. Yeah, where'd you get your pussycat?

Interesting stories about how you came across what is now your cat. Yeah, like, you wouldn't think it would work because it's so stupid. It worked. Well, I don't know if this will work again. But today, we want to know, how'd you name your pussycat? Because I've been asked, I think people, because people don't want to ask you because they're scared to, but they ask why your cat has a military title.

Major Murray Fluffington. I don't know. It just does. It did, eh? Because Major was one of the options. So was Murray. And then I just put it all together. You can't be like Major Murray.

You've got to have a last name because you say like, whenever there's a military title, you say the whole bit. Yeah. So Major Murray Fluffington. Technically his name's illegal in New Zealand, but. Why is it illegal?

Because you can't give it a title. Oh, that's children. Yeah. Is it illegal to, because isn't it illegal to have like military medals that aren't yours or something? Or wear them and say you got them? It's illegal to, yeah, pretend.

Oh, God. Well, because I had an Anzac Day costume for Major Murray Fluffington, so I'll put that out the window. Unless he stormed the beaches of Willapilly. He doesn't deserve them, and rightly so. He didn't climb Chinook Bear. Yep. I recently went to Papa World War I.

Oh, with the big people. That's so great, eh? The Chinook Bear. Yeah. What a bloody battle that was. That's so great, eh? The Chinook Bear. Yeah. What a bloody battle that was. That's a great exhibition. That did not look like fun. No, shit no.

At all. Good people. Anyway, we're not talking about Anzacs. They get a day, don't they? They do, yeah. And then we celebrate them the rest of the year. But we're talking, how'd you name your pussycat? So in this segment, we need you to call us on 0800-DIALS-NM.

And then Vaughn sings the stupid song. Yeah. And then you tell us the great story behind the name of your pussycat. If you've got an unusual cat. And, you know, like, you know if your cat's got one of these names because you are constantly explaining it to people. Yeah. When they meet your cat.

Yeah. Do you sing the intro out? I can't remember. Yeah, because they want that. Oh, why did you ask? So you can call us now or text in to play the game. How do you name your pussy cat? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Meow. The pinnacle of radio This competition Alright Give us goals Hit it Hit it Oh you want it right now Give the people

What they want now How'd you get your pussycat Meow meow meow meow meow meow Off the back of How'd you get your pussycat Yeah how'd you get your pussycat. Yeah, how'd you get your pussycat, which is where we heard about how you acquired your cat. Yeah.

Now we want to know how you named it. So is this a finale? Who knows? Where, how, what? I reckon we could, do you know what we could do? I saw a guy walking his three-legged dog the other day. You could do how many has your pussycat got? Where do you take your pussycat?

Yes! Yes! Oh, my God. No, no, no. Yes! Yes! Like, people that take their cats on adventures because purely they're, you know, traditionally they're a home-based animal.

They don't, famously, they're not going anywhere. Write that down, Producer Arnie. I'm so upset with myself. And we should also do how many legs does your pussycat have? Because there'll be some. It's got to fit in with the syllables at least. It would be like your pussycat's like weird thing. Like, I'll have to work on the word.

Okay. This has got legs is what you're saying. Infinite legs. Your pussycat different. How's your pussycat different? Pussycat a freak. How's your pussycat a freak? Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Yeah. All right, we welcome. Let's play first. Courtney, good morning. Morning. No, not every time. Yes, every time. Every time.

How'd you name your pussycat? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, meow. Sorry, Courtney. Every time. How do you name your pussy cat? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, meow. Sorry, Courtney. Morning. Morning. So my cat's name is McFlaggishmagger. What?

What did you say? Mc... McFlaggishmagger. I'm scared to ask. Yeah, every check has been pre-approved. Yeah, okay, it's been pre-approved. How did you get that name, Courtney? I was actually away.

She was a kitten of my cat, Lucy, and my sisters decided to keep that one kitten and name her McFluggishmigger. I came back thinking, okay, well, this is a bit weird, but my father had taken her and her mother to the vet to stop the breeding system from working, thinking that Mac was actually a boy and then found out, well, Mac was actually a girl. So she's converted from McFlaggishwagger to Mac.

But that doesn't explain McFlaggishwagger. Thank you, Courtney. This is what you asked for, can I just say. Amy, good morning. Morning. Okay, again, here we go. And go. How do you name your pussy cat?

Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. My cat's name was Griffins because he wasn't sick, so he had ginger nuts. Yes! That is good. That is good stuff. That is what this segment is all about. Olive, good morning.

Short, sharp. She punched in. She punched out. Wait a minute. Olive. Olive. You'll be told when to speak. Wait there, Olive.

Hold on, Olive. Hold on. Shush your mouth. Wait a minute. Here we go.. Wait there, Olive. Hold on, Olive. Hold on. Shush your mouth. Wait a minute. Here we go. Howdy there, you pussycat. Whoa, whoa, whoa, Olive. Okay, I'm ready to go now.

Okay. My cat's name is Porridge. Oh, that's so cute. And he's got a really interesting life story. When I was 12 years old, my parents bought me this kitten who I was obsessed with, absolutely lived by him. And then he died two weeks later, heartbroken, distraught, all of the emotions in one.

And then my mum bought home porridge because he looked exactly the same. And I was like, this is so insensitive, mum. Like, I'm heartbroken, you can't do this to me. And he just, he looks like a bowl of porridge. That's really all there is to it. We get guests that come over and they're like, oh, my God, your cat's so cute.

What's its name? It's porridge. But don't be mean to him. I feel like he gets a bit shy about it. That's a great name for a cat. She can be like, porridge, porridge. It's important to hear your cat's name can be called in a high-pitched voice. It is.

Sarah, good morning. Thank you, Olive. Sarah. Good morning. Welcome to How'd You Name? No, no, no, no. You don't introduce it. You let the song do the work for you.

Make your night, sis. How'd you name your pussycat? Whoa, whoa, whoa, Sarah. So it's my friend's cat and they called it Tickle My. Okay. Tickle My. Yep, no, I see, I see. There you get it. Pussy cat.

Oh, yeah, right, okay. Right, okay, that's quite... That's going to be one to explain to the kids one day. It is. Nicola, good morning. Morning. All right, here we go. How'd you name your pussy cat? Whoa, whoa, Nicola.

Now it's got their names on the end. See, it's an evolving segment. Megan's face says it all. She hates it. Nicola. My cat's name was Gillette, and it was because when he was a kitten, he just about got run over,

so it was like a close shave. Oh, my God. That's funny. That's great. Brilliant. Oh, now you're laughing, Megan. There's so many. So great.

Thank you, Nicola. I was going to call her Gillette. These are some text messages for, how do you know your pussycat? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Time for texts. We've got Scott because he had one eye, so it's like Scott one eye.

Oh, yeah. Like Scott no mates. Yeah. That was my brother's name. Scott no mates. Scott no mates. Somebody else said ours is called King because we found him behind Burger King. He was meowing behind Burger King.

Our cat's name is Trunk because he has truncular obesity. Do you know what that is? That sounds... Wait, from birth? From birth. Oh, okay. No, no, no. It sounds like more of a nickname.

Our cat's grey and has got an M on her head, so we called her Macy Grey. Oh, I love that. That's good. That's good. Our kitten is Costa because when we got it, it was free, but then it needed a whole lot of treatments because it was sick and it cost a lot of money. So that's why it's Costa. Okay.

Our cat's name is Sixteen. I got him for my 16th birthday. He lived for 16 years. Oh, wow. Okay. Our cat's name is 16. I got him for my 16th birthday. He lived for 16 years. Oh, wow. Whoa. Named our cat Ken. So the other neighborhood cats would think he was tough, and it worked a treat.

Ken was tough. Okay. We found two abandoned kittens in our hangar at the Christchurch helicopters and named them after our helicopters. Huey was after a Hughes 500. And Squirrel. No, I was thinking Squirrel too.

Only because it's the only helicopter I know of. Chinook. Robinson. No one's got just a Chinook hanging around. That's an unrealistic. We might need to move some logs or a tank. You don't know that. The New Zealand Armed Forces, they might have it.

Do the New Zealand Armed Forces have a Chinook? No, they don't have a Chinook. Are there any Chinooks? Black Hawk. Is that a helicopter? Yeah, that's a helicopter. Yeah, Black Hawk Down. Black Hawk Down.

Robinson. That's a cute little one. Someone said our cat's called Toast because when we first got him, he smelled like burnt toast. What was the other helicopter? You didn't tell us about the helicopter. You didn't tell us about the helicopter. Cabby after a cabri. Well, I didn't know that helicopter.

It's stupid. I thought I did cover both helicopter options. Well, do they take the cats up in the helicopters? Because they could be a shoo-in for the next segment. For the next segment of where'd you take your pussy cat? I hope they do. My cat was named Nunu's after the Teletubbies vacuum cleaner because she used to eat everything. Okay. I remember Nunu's after the Teletubbies vacuum cleaner because she used to eat everything.

Okay. I remember Nunu's. Nunu's. My cat's name is Allie, which is short for elephant because it was a really heavy-footed cat. It would stomp everywhere and you could hear him. Our grey kitten is called Ash, double meaning because he looks like he's covered in ash.

Yep. And also named after Dr. Ashley Bloomfield, because we got him during lockdown. Oh, yes. That's cute. Thank you for your text messages. What another raging success. Yes. How'd you name your pussycat?

Join us sometime in the future for Where'd You Take Your Pussycat? Yeah, don't go anywhere. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? go anywhere.