ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Best Bits Podcast - 27th June 2020

Episode Date: June 26, 2020

Our fancy new compilation podcast filled to the brim with the best moments from Fletch, Vaughan & Megan this week!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, it's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Welcome to the Best Bits of the Week podcast, brought to you by McCafé. Grab yourself a delicious barista-made coffee for only $4. Yes, that's right. It's a podcast that required no extra effort on our behalf, but hopefully we'll see a skyrocket up the podcast charts because it's an extra podcast per week. ZM. Hit music. Lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. From the ZM think tank. This is the top six. Hello there. Today's top six. The top six are budget downgrades on The Bachelorette in post-COVID times. Looking to make TV productions cheaper.

They're going to be making some cuts to the next season of The Bachelorette, which you can apply to be on now. So, guys and girls. Yep. Okay. They're looking for the girl. They're looking for both aspects of the show. To be The Bachelorette.

I doubt they'll be going to Argentina this time. Oh, no. Oh, no. I wouldn't be going anywhere near South America, to be totally honest. But the top six are budget downgrades on The Bachelorette. Number six, one of the hopefuls, one of the lads, was just that homeless guy that stayed at that hotel for free for two weeks. Budget downgrades on The Bachelorette. Number six. One of the hopefuls, one of the lads,

was just that homeless guy that stayed at that hotel for free for two weeks. He saw another cue and now he's on The Bachelorette. I would love that. You know what? That guy's my hero. Yeah. I know. I can't be angry at him.

No. Number five on the list of the top six budget downgrades on The Bachelorette in post-COVID times. You know how they take helicopter rides on the dates? Yeah. Maybe to a destination. Now it's just that one in the mall that you pay like a dollar

and it goes up and down a couple of times. They're often painted like Westpac helicopters. Yeah. I remember going on one of those as a caddy and it was like

the coolest thing. Oh yeah. I felt like it was so high. Yeah, but you go past them now and you're like, that's so lame. And there's some kid in there enjoying it and you're like,

enjoy it, kid. The magic dies when you get to my age. Yeah. My man says magic dies. Number four on the list of the top six budget downgrades for the bachelorette in post-COVID times are their picnics. Picnics will literally be a picnic bar. Oh, and they have it.

Yeah. They are yummy, though, and they have it. Yeah. They are yummy though. They are pretty good. Yeah. They're an ugly bar, aren't they? But they're... She's not pretty. They're pretty good.

Number three on the list of the budget downgrades on The Bachelorette in post-COVID times. Roses. Yikes. Those are expensive. Instead, to show the person

they'll be going on to the next episode of The Bachelorette, you'll be handing out Anzac Day poppies. Gold coin donation, though. Yeah. So if they want to go through, they can get a little one, but they can't keep it and use it next time.

That's not how Anzac Day poppies work. Number two on the list of the top six budget downgrades on The Bachelorette and post-COVID times, cocktail parties at the mansion. Ooh, that was expensive. How about tea parties in the tree hut? That's imaginary tea, by the way, with the teddies and a little wee table. So drink some water on the way because cute though,

you'll be thirsty. And number one on the list of the top six budget downgrades for the Bachelorette and Post-COVID times. They had two Bachelorettes last time. That proved to be very expensive. So this time they're only having half a bachelorette. That's someone that's kind of seeing someone, but you know, they're open to the possibilities.

But you know, they're not really. They just like that douchebag and they keep going back to him time and time again. Have they said if they'll do two again this time? Well, that was like a big twist last time. It can't become the default, can it? Yeah, but you don't want to be halfway through the show and you're waiting for the new Bachelorette to come in.

No, absolutely not on this budget, mate. Yeah, not on this budget. Which won't be happening. That is today's top six. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Turn the microphone on, please. Today, the 23rd of June, that is Carl Peter Fletch's birthday. Yes, it is.

And just loving life. What a year it's been. Where is this going? What a time to be alive. You're so sour. He's very worried about what we've got. So sour. I just remember it's your birthday next, Megan. That's all I'll say

Yeah this guy is throwing caution to the wind Because he's already had his birthday They happen every year though Yeah true You'll keep This Hey look I think I've given enough on my birthday I've cried like two times in the last three years

Yours was nice Well I'm a nice person This is not nice It was nice Megan because I'm a nice person. This is not nice. It was nice, Megan, because I'm a nice person. So you would say this is fair as to reflect Fletcher's personality as well. Because for your birthday today, we opened up the anonymous Carl Fletcher complaint line. I believe you had the audio in front of you if you could play the first segment. Wait, do I press play on this?

So we have. Do I press play on this? Yes, but I just explained it. We opened the line for complaints. People wish to remain anonymous so that you didn't hold the grudge and carry it forth. This is my birthday. It's not a Comedy Central roast.

It's reflective, isn't it? Unbelievable. It's on your birthday that you often just have to face yourself and who you are. Yeah. And no greater way to do that than ask people if they had any complaints. Okay. Hello, you've reached the Fletch Complaint Hotline. Please leave your message after the tone.

All right. Where do I begin? You've never in over 16 years let me have my name go first. I actually don't like being called a cougar because 10 years isn't really that much. I mean, he's one to talk. This one time I saw Fletch throw out a mug just straight into the bin because he didn't want to wash it himself.

I've worked with Fletch for about 14 years and I'm still scarred from when I was the junior guy and Fletch used to come into my little studio and do a sexy dance in front of me and I was like oh this is all fun and games and then I realised he didn't have pants on. I've worked at NZME for two and a half years and I'm pretty sure Fletch has no idea what my name is. Fletch only really likes me because I've got a really funny driver's licence photo. So whenever he sees it, his face lights up. But, you know, I see him in person, and it's not really the same. Fletch goes out of his way to call me the wrong name.

It's not even a joke. It keeps me up at night. I've worked with Fletch for a while now, and since that time, I've been running a tally on how many times he asks me up at night. I've worked with Fletch for a while now, and since that time I've been running a tally on how many times he asks me a personal question. Currently, that tally sits at zero. Fletch, if you're wondering, I'm good. Um... Just, you've never asked me how I am.

I know Fletch always comes to the company-wide meetings, has a sausage roll and leaves. Fletch ordered me an Uber probably about three minutes after we made love to each other. Fletch once called me a lazy f***ing useless c***. And then he smiled and walked away. I've actually never had a problem with May. The guy with the kids, eh?

The other one. Yeah, f*** that guy. You have no new messages. Well, some of that was defamation. And some of it was edited out as there was 17 minutes of audio. Was it? Was there was 17 minutes of audio. Was it? Was it? 17 minutes.

It was honestly like, oh, do you want to say anything? People were a little reluctant, but once they got going, boy. Oh, I could pick some of those voices too. I know. I know who those people are. You picked some of the true stories? Yeah. I only threw out the coffee mug because it had a crack in it.

And the bin was closer than the dishwasher. And that was the CEO who said he notices you come to the meetings just to grab a sausage roll and then run away. Yeah, I always make a scene, yell out, so he notices me and slip out. But he notices you're leaving. Yeah. Yeah, as well. Well, there you go.

Thank you so much. Harsh feedback, but it's not over yet. Oh. We've had the bad. Next, we'll have the good. We're going to hear from someone who loves you very, very much. Oh, my God. ZM's Fletch Warner-Megan, the podcast.

It's Fletch's birthday. We've just had the anonymous Fletch complaint line. Sorry, people have been messaging and asking how they can. Oh, the line's shut. Also, we had to shut it down. We had to shut the line. We blew our budget when we made it.

Free call. Oh, man. So many people just wanted to call up. But that was the... What? What are you shaking your head about? That was the anonymous...

Just all this. I don't like the attention. That's not... It wasn't so much of the fact that it made that that was a moment of realisation for you. It was just that you didn't

like the attention from it. Oh, yeah. It was like, oh, no, those people. All those people are wrong. That's exactly, they are wrong. You're not allowed to hit any of them up because you said you recognised the voices.

Oh, I recognised so many of them. I'm like, okay, well, if that's how you're going to play it. Some of them are very specific incidences. Interesting. Those are from people who had problems with you, but we've now got audio from someone who loves you very much. I don't want soppy stuff. Who do you think you can identify? I don't know. someone who loves you very much. I don't want soppy stuff. Who do you think you can identify?

I don't know. Someone that loves you very much. They think you're pretty great. Do they? Are you ready? Yes. Let's now hear from Major Murray Fluffington, your cat. What?

Hello, Father. A lot has changed since I came into your life. Like, I don't call you Daddy anymore. I've heard lots of other people call you that in my short life. So I think I'll stick with the more formal Father because after they call you Daddy daddy we never see them again and I want to hang around. It's your birthday and the first of your birthdays I've been around for. I hope we can have some visitors that give me pats on my tummy, not just ushered in and ushered

straight back out of the flat after calling you daddy. Now I had lots of ideas for presents in mind. Half a bird, a headless rat, some socks I found somewhere but I'm not allowed to go out of the apartment so I don't know how I'm supposed to do any shopping. I tried online shopping but I got so distracted by the mouse I ended up chewing the cord. My bad. Add it to my tab. If you have a cake, can I suggest a meat-flavoured one covered in kitty biscuits sprinkles? I love those. So, yeah, I've got to go lie in the sun,

ignore you, lick my private parts, and then attack some houseplants at random. So, um, have a great birthday. Buzzles and scratches. I love you sometimes. From your puss-puss, Major Murray Flaffington. See, that was nice, wasn't it? That was.

What a lovely message from a loved one. If cats could talk. Yeah. Well, they can, they just did. Yeah, can't they? That was what that was. That was definitely the cat. In need of some therapy.

Yeah, that poor thing. Seen some things at such a young age. Wow. Haven't they? Well such a young age. Wow. Haven't they? Well, happy birthday. Happy birthday. That wasn't as bad as you expected, eh? No.

Megan was winding them up something wrong before we made it. She was like, did we get legal? Did legal get sign off? We're just like, ah, nah, nah, nah. I did ask if we really thought this was a good idea. Propped it to the boss. Well, it's your birthday next. Yeah, but that was cute.

Remember? You laughed so much. Okay, we did laugh. We laughed, didn't we? We laughed. We laughed. Happy birthday. Thanks, team.

Thanks, guys. Next on the show, fact of the day. I can't believe my cat just talked to me. Fleshfawn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Now, at the weekend, I started watching a new show on Netflix. Vaughan, this isn't new. Well, it's new to me. New to Vaughan.

Oh, Vaughan's like, have you guys seen Money Heist? Have you seen, you haven't seen Money Heist. I think you'll like it. It always pops up on my thing. We're like, I should watch Money Heist. It's there, like a lot of tension. A lot of tension. You don't know what's happening.

It's kind of like Ocean's Eleven meets the original Ocean's Eleven. You know, the first one when it came out, it was like, well, that was pretty cool, man. And that and first season of Prison Break, and it's Spanish. So, you know, and I could have listened with English dub over, but I like the sexy Spanish accent, and I don't mind reading subtitles. So, boom. I get too listened with English dub over, but I like the sexy Spanish accent, and I don't mind reading subtitles, so boom.

I get too distracted with subtitles. Because when I see a show on Netflix that has dub over, it does my head, and I can't do it. You'd rather watch the original with subtitles? Yeah, I'd rather watch, yeah. Plus, I know like six Spanish words, so I'm like, I know that word. They said breakfast. They said beer. I don't want to be Mr word. It's a great feeling. They said breakfast. They said beer. I don't want to be Mr. Smug cultured over here.

But when I was looking, I went into the Netflix top 10. Yeah. Because I thought that would be an indication of something people are watching and maybe is good and, you know, you'd read a bit more about it. Yeah. I'm just in here now. Marcella's number 10. I just finished the latest season of that.

It's a great show. Recommended to me by my friend Megan. Years ago. But it's also like there's Small Foots number one, which I've heard is a pretty cute animated one, that sexy 365 Days. Oh, yeah. That was number one for like the last week in New Zealand.

Yeah. Like a Fifty Shades of Grey movie. Yeah. Okay. It's so intense it New Zealand. Yeah. Like a Fifty Shades of Grey movie. Yeah. Okay. It's so intense it made E.L. James blush. The nuns in there. So, you know, like there's a horror, Crazy Rich Asians, Get Hard. There's, you know, there's a few.

It's an old movie. Yeah. Is it new to Netflix? It must be new to Netflix. Oh, The Sinner is number four. Yeah. The new season of The Sinner. Yeah.

Okay. So I thought how corruptible is this chart? How does it work? And how often does it update? Is it every day that it searches for new information? And I did, you know me, minor amount of research. I Googled it and then got distracted by something else and chased that rabbit rather than staying on task.

It's why I was never a successful greyhound. Yeah. And from what I could see, it updates daily. Right. And it takes the previous day's viewing into account. And I thought, well, then that's easily corruptible. Okay. If enough people get on board with watching a certain thing

at a certain time, then surely that would reflect in the chart. Yes. But then you don't know that they're not, they could be handpicking this chart. Exactly. We don't know that. They could be fudging the chart. They could be fudging it and putting their new Netflix content in there.

But in New Zealand, how many people need to watch it for it to register the top 10? Because one of those things in the top 10 is like, don't get me wrong, you know I'm a super huge Keanu fan, but number two is Replicas, this Keanu Reeves movie, and it doesn't look, it looks like a budget version of iRobot, and iRobot was made in 2006. It's definitely the kind of movie you'd put on for Netflix

and chill and hope that you started, like, making out at least 10 minutes in so you didn't have to watch it again. Yeah, that could be. It's that kind of movie. That could be the thing. And TV series, like, the whole season has to, like, when they dump a new season, I'm imagining people binge it, so that counts towards it.

But there's series on there with heaps of episodes that people will be watching that isn't in the top 10. Like, I would have thought Friends would have been in the top 10. It was last week I saw it. Last week it was. But you're right, though, because the top 10 chart on Netflix is there's always rubbish in there. And you're like, what is going on?

Do you judge New Zealand when you see that list? Yeah, I do. Well, how's that number one? Yeah. Or even in the top 10. So what's your social experience? Do you think we should try and rig this? Well, given that now there's nothing to watch on TV on Wednesday nights,

that's just coinciding. With the fact that your TV show, Have You Been Paying Attention, is over. It's been indefinitely postponed. Oops. I thought Wednesday night, yeah, that's kind of like a night where people could watch something. And from what I could also see, you don't have to watch the whole movie.

You only have to watch a portion of the movie. So even if it's terrible, if we could get everybody to agree on Wednesday night to watch a movie at some stage after work, before bedtime, in that window before the day ticks over,

will it be in the top ten the next day? You could watch it any time. We could be encouraging people to watch it in the morning. A hundred percent. You could watch it in transit. You could watch it. You could leave it on and leave the room. Go to work.

Yeah, but if that's not something you can do, or if that's the other thing, we need to select a movie. Do we select a movie that the whole family can enjoy? So then you can watch it after work with kids, if you've got kids, or as a flat or whatever. But I think we should choose a movie that is in the Netflix library but isn't something that people... It has no business being in the charts at this time of year

because it's not new. Yes, exactly. It's been there forever. Yeah, they haven't just added it. A Christmas movie. Or like a real obscure movie. Christmas, there's mid it's like, when's

midwinter Christmas now, right? Like the end of the year's almost over and I don't want to speak for everybody, but I don't think we've enjoyed the first half of this year so much. No. I don't think it'll go down in history as the happiest year of all time. No.

So it might be time to let's fast forward to Christmas. And what a nice, warm feeling that'll give us if we can all get something to number one. The people's number one. The people's number one. We all agreed upon. Okay. Pretty good last time. So we need

something to watch then. Well, that's why I'm thinking given that this will need to be everybody getting on board, we need to take a movie suggestion from people who are listening to the show. Okay. Okay, well... And then when we agree to it,

nobody watch it until Wednesday because I know once we agree on it, everyone's going to get a little bit excited. And start watching it early. We can't go too early. We can't go too soon. We've got to concentrate our efforts. Okay, well, should we take some suggestions now? Let's just take a sample of the people.

What movie on Netflix should we try to get to number one on the charts on Wednesday? I'll wait $800 at the end. Somebody just messaged in Shrek and I've searched. Yeah. There's no Shrek.

There's Shrek the Third, Shrek Forever After, Shrek Swamp Stories, and Shrek the Halls, but no Shrek. Yeah, see, that's the thing. No original Shrek. We need to check what's on Netflix, what's available on Netflix. That's madness. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan, and Megan, the podcast. Bluff or stuff.

We have an Escafe Dolce Gusto to give away, which we've been trying to give away for weeks. God, they've got some free press out of this, haven't they? I know. Unbelievable. So basically one of us is going to be holding it, but we're all going to tell you we're holding it. You need to decide who actually has it in their hands to win it.

Would this be the sixth time? Yeah, I reckon. The fifth or the seventh time trying to give this away? Whatever one's easier to say. We're all terrible liars or maybe we're all great liars. Amy, good morning. Good morning.

Right, so we're all going to tell you we're holding this and you've got to correctly identify who is holding it to win. Vaughan, would you like to start, seeing as you're holding it? Yeah, yeah, well, I've got this in my hot little hands. First of all, have you got any questions about the coffee machine? What colour is the box? Well, I can answer that because I'm holding it. Oh, sorry.

The box is predominantly white. The features on it, the coffee machine's black, and there's an orange stripe around the bottom, but, you know, it's a white box. You can see that because you're literally sitting next to me. Is it heavy? Yeah, it is heavy. Yeah, it is cool.

Nah. How would you know? Because I'm trying to lift it up so Vaughn can see the colour. Only for these two babies with poor bicep strength. It's quite heavy. Yeah. I would estimate maybe 5kgs. I'm holding it.

I'd say 4. I'd say 7. 3.5, 4. I'd say 7. Let me drop it. Let me get some scales. Let me drop it. Don't bang your hand on the desk.

Okay, mate. Okay. Don't fud. If you were holding the box Could you do this? Well that's your Tupperware container If I do that on the box It sounds like this

Oh no That's the Tupperware That's your Tupperware container That yeah Is it Amy? You're sloppy What were you eating this morning? Oats or yogurt?

No it was oats Did old grandad make you an easy yogurt? Eat some of the yogurt Do you know how many, did he? Some of the yogurts. Do you know how many messages I had from people over the weekend? God, I know. I heard about it. How dare you slander easy yo. No, that's too late.

That's the sound of a box. This is the box. All right, Amy. That's not a box. We'd like you now to eliminate one of us. Who do you think is definitely not holding it? I think that Vaughn's definitely not holding it. Well, you would be...

That is correct. Correct. All right. Okay, so now you need to eliminate one more. Who do you think is holding the coffee machine? I am holding it, Amy. Oh, my God. Amy, who's holding it? I think Megan is holding the coffee machine? I am holding it, Amy. Oh my god. Amy, who's holding it?

I think Megan is holding it who's definitely sounded more cardboardy. That is correct. Finally! Finally! I tried to do that as like serious as I could. I am holding it, Amy. Trust me. Amy, congratulations. God, we've been wanting

to give this thing away for weeks. Thanks, guys. Fantastic. Probably make shit-ass coffee. I don't know. It's pretty good. She's a snob. She's a coffee snob, so that does speak volumes. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The Podcast.

ZM. We wanted to see how hard it would be to get something into the top 10 on Netflix. We're not sure how it all works. Best guess online is that it updates daily with how many people have viewed it in New Zealand alone. And then it updates again the next day. And it takes data from the previous 24 hours.

Now, we did think about filming an entire movie, releasing it onto Netflix. but it takes too long. Yeah. And so it's easier for us just to pick an existing movie. We just thought we'd use one that's already there. So we asked you and you told us that you wanted us to use the Will Ferrell Christmas classic, Alf. Oh. Alf. Oh.

Alf. Alf. I thought you were putting the fingers up. I forgot about the drum roll. I thought you were putting those up to play the clip from. Now play the clip from Alf. Remember when we were like, we'll do a drum roll and then we'll play the clip.

I was all for the drum roll and then I just got too involved and totally forgot. Yeah. Alf. Okay, I know. And then I just got too involved and totally forgot. Yeah. Alf. Okay, people, tomorrow morning, 10 a.m., Santa's coming to town. Santa! Oh, my God! Santa here?

I know him. I know him. God, this is a great movie. So good. And also, I think it's quite timely because it's mid-Christmas. It's mid-winter Christmas. Like, we're halfway to Christmas. We need a little bit of Christmas cheer, too.

And also, like, if we do this, if we accomplish this, we're going to see the Netflix top ten and a Christmas movie's going to be in the top ten. It's brilliant. Yeah. It's also, yeah, because it's got no place in Beaten there. No, exactly. So we'll stand out.

So tomorrow, we need to all get together to watch Elf. Not in the same place because we need as many different accounts. And from what we can see, even within that account, if you've got profiles, the different profiles count as a view because those are different people watching it. So if you can have three profiles going at once on three different devices, we would also encourage you to do that with the movie Elf. Because I've got it on my phone, my laptop,

and I can watch in different accounts, right? Yes. Phone, laptop, TV. Just leave it going on the phone when you go to bed. We'll see if we can push it in there. We'll leave it on the TV on another profile. Go to bed. I can watch all three on different size screens at once.

You can do that too. Go to bed. Well, I was just going to watch all three on different sized screens at once. You can do that too. Okay. Yeah. If you wanted to get up and watch the movie all day tomorrow. Do that as well. Over and over and over. Yeah.

You can do that as well. But we're thinking we might do a viewing party in the evening tomorrow. Yeah. So that we can all watch along together. The elf viewing party to try to get elf into the Netflix charts. Just to see if you can. Yeah, join us. Please join us and maybe get the flat together. The elf viewing party to try to get elf into the Netflix charts. Just to see if you can.

Yeah, join us. Please join us. And maybe get the flat together. Yeah. Or the family. Whoever you live with. Or maybe the flat in different rooms under one log on. And sync it up.

Log in. Log in. Log in. Yes. Log on. Log on to your log in. To your log in. Yeah.

And watch it on different devices under different profiles. All right. So that it gives you that extra tick. I can't wait to see Thursday if we've penetrated the charts. Yes. Oh, that'll be a... Won't that be a great feeling? Yeah, but it'll be one of those things where you try and tell your parents

what you've achieved and they'll be like, what? What's that now? Well, let's not get too... Let's not worry about telling our parents about something. They'll get freaked out. They'll be like, did you make a movie? Your father didn't tell me you'd done that. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

After the show yesterday, actually, did you leave? Well, Vaughan left a little bit earlier because... You left to go and see the assembly. Yeah. Your daughter's got leadership awards. Yep. Did you cry? Missed it up.

Yep. Welled up but stopped. I tell you what, we got asked to go up on stage as parents, the parents of the kids, and the whole school did a kapa haka performance. That was emotional. Wow. I've never been on the receiving end of one of those before.

That's so cool. I've never been on the other end of one of those before either, but I've witnessed plenty, but never intentionally. That was a very emotional experience. Right, okay. So Misty-eyed. Well, you'd left. Megan and I stayed at work to do all those boring meetings that you escaped.

You're welcome. So, yeah, Fleet and I, we were just trying to go home. So this is some sort of revenge-y stitch-up, is it, for... No. No, it's betrayal, actually. It's a story of betrayal. It's betrayal on your behalf. I betrayed you.

Yes. Okay, go ahead. So... Oh, yeah, I know what it is. I've. It's a story of betrayal. It's betrayal on your behalf. I betrayed you. Yes. Okay, go ahead. Oh, yeah, I know what it is. I've got it. I've got it. No, go on just in case it's not that thing. If it's not that thing, let's never mention what I was about to say. So Fletch usually walks and I go down to the car park,

which is where the mail room is. Oh, yeah, it's probably that thing that's in the car. And Fletch says, I'm going to come with you because actually I've got something in the mail room. Yeah, we've all got something in the mail room. That's right. I got that email too. I didn't.

I just go in every single day to see if I've got any mail because it's one of the favorite parts of the day. This is what the email said. Good day. A courier has arrived for you in the mail room. Our hours are between. So Megan and I were like, well, let's go down and get the mail. What time did this come through? This was an email on Monday, so we were a bit late yesterday going to the mail room.

And so we got there and there was nothing for us. Nothing. But all the other radio shows had received the same parcel. So Megan and I looked in there and were like, and that's when the. And that's when I said to the person in the mail room, has Vaughn been in today? And she replies, Vaughn comes in every day. He does.

He's a great guy. And she said, he takes all your mail. Well, it must have been Monday or Tuesday. It was Tuesday. Because it was your birthday. Yeah. It was his birthday, Vaughn. So you took something addressed to all of us and you took it home and kept it.

And did not say a word. You do this all the time. You take stuff for the show and you take it home. If it's chocolate, I remove temptation from your life. That's my gift to you. You do this all the time. You take stuff for the show and you take it home. If it's chocolate, I remove temptation from your life. That's my gift to you. Right, okay. Because, to be honest, lockdown, you know, and you're always worried.

You're always like, I don't want it. I'm like, I'll take care of this. But sometimes I balance it. I'll grenade this. It wasn't chocolate, though, was it? It wasn't. And, you know, in total honesty, I can give my keys to someone in the producing team because you won't trust me if I go down

it is unopened in the back seat of my car. Do you know what this is a Vaughan Smith move. He's going to leave it in his car and wait just wait to see if we bring it up and if we don't it's his to keep. No I intended to bring it up. I was going to bring it up the day after but I was bringing up that sleeping bag. And what's your excuse today? Totally forgot. It's his to keep. No, I intended to bring it up. I was going to bring it up the day after, but I was bringing up that sleeping bag.

And what's your excuse today? Totally forgot. There's like five unopened packages in my car. One of them's for all of us, but the other four are for me. I just forget that I've got things in the back of my car because they're not super urgent. Well, let's tell a coyer in the future to leave your name off those packages.

Run down. Be a sweetheart. Run down and get that. They're not doing your errands. I'll go down and get it. We also mentioned... A queer like me better anyway. You guys have smelly houses.

They said you're beyond how right. We left a message down there saying that you're not to take our packages in the future. I'll just steamroll straight in and be like, that, I'll have it. Yeah. Well, it was at her, to be honest. I've got another courier down there now.

Did you guys get an email yesterday at five minutes to three? No. Suckers. I just told them to email me now regarding our fruit package. Right. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan's Netflix charity party. Well, last night, a lot of you joined us in watching the movie Elf.

Yeah. We don't have the exact numbers because Netflix never releases that. But, Matt, I would say of the messages I received, if that was like 70% of the people watching, I've got a few hundred tagging. And a lot of people saying they had different devices, they'd leave one on watching the movie. So a lot of people yesterday were watching ALF.

And this was the idea we wanted to see, because you see the top 10 on Netflix, you're like, how does half of that rubbish even get in there? Yeah. So we were like, can we corrupt the top 10 chart? Because if we can, we should. Absolutely we should. That's how it works.

So I have in front of me today's. It says top 10 in New Zealand today. Okay. Okay, so should we start at 10? Yes. Okay. 10. Friends.

What? IRL. That wasn't in the yesterday afternoon. No, it wasn't. It wasn't in yesterday's top 10. Well, they're watching Friends and they should be watching Elf. Friends. What? IRL. That wasn't in the yesterday afternoon. No, it wasn't. It wasn't in yesterday's time. Well, they should be watching Friends and they should be watching Elf. Friends. We've all seen Friends ten times.

Somebody actually on Instagram put up a thing on Netflix because they were sick. And I said, are you about to watch Elf? And they said, no, Friends reruns. I said, well, cancel that. Yeah. And they said, oh, I've been watching it for the last couple of days, binge watching. And if they're sick, it makes you feel better because it's nostalgic. Nostalgia and that. Yeah. And they said, oh, I've been watching it for the last couple of days, binge watching. And a bit like if they're sick, it makes you feel better because it's nostalgic.

Nostalgia and that, right? Number nine. Is the Keanu Reeves iRobot looking cheap rip-off thing called Replicas? Oh no, that looks rubbish. How is that still in there? Maybe it's good. Rubbish. I love, you know I love him, but that doesn't look... We collectively love him.

That great? No. Eight. Feel the beat. Oh man. I don't know know I love him, but that doesn't look... We collectively love him. That great? No. Eight. Feel the beat. Oh, man. I don't know what this is about. It looks dancey. It's described as heartfelt, witty, and inspiring. Oh, I might like that.

Okay, this isn't good. As close as we get to number one, it's not. Seven. Snowpiercer. Oh, I want to watch that. No, that looks rough. I haven't started it yet. I never saw the movie, but apparently the movie was pretty good. Is there a movie?

Okay. Yeah, there's a movie. I don't know if this is like a carry-on from the movie or what. Okay. Six. 365 Days. Oh, no. The lavish romantic drama that is.

That's been out for ages and that's been in the top ten for ages. Has everyone not seen it already? Also, I'm going to walk around and start looking New Zealanders a little bit differently too because everybody's all, you know. Oh no, don't talk to me. Don't take shame there. No, no, don't talk to me about boobies.

I don't want to hear that. But yeah, the number one or the top 10. Yeah, this show's been in there for ages. It has been, yeah. Five. The Order. Oh. The dark, suspenseful horror that's got a werewolf

on the front, but damn it. Do you know why we haven't been read out yet, Fletch horror that's got a werewolf on the front. But, damn it. Do you know why we haven't been read out yet, Fletch? It's because we're in the top five somewhere. All right. That attitude. Four. Small Foot.

The feel-good musical. Oh. Kids animated movie. That is a good movie. Or just an animated movie. Actually, it looks pretty good, so I don't want to just say it's just for kids. Okay. Enjoy that.

Well, three to go. Three. The Floor is Lava. Oh, don't want to just say it's just for kids. Okay. Enjoy that. Well, three to go. Three. The floor is lava. Oh, I do want to watch that. We watched a bit of it yesterday. Man, people get so hurt. You're not helping. You shouldn't have watched something that's in the top ten.

It was only a little bit. I watched ALF three times. Yeah, okay. Yeah, right. There was three screenings of ALF in our house yesterday. Two. Two guns. Oh, no.

The exciting action thriller. Okay. Isn't that old, that movie? I don't know. Or is it new to Netflix? It might be new to Netflix. Oh, it doesn't say how old it is. All right.

It looks older. One. The Sinner. Season three. I want to watch that as well. Oh, I watched that yesterday. Megan! Megan!

Megan! After I watched Elf twice, then I watched The Sinner. It's really good. Even then you undo and then it bumps it out of the show. So. So we haven't made the top 10. Not yet. There was so...

What do you mean not yet? Here's why I'm hopeful. Okay. People messaged in saying they went to watch Elf on their phone or their iPad. Now, I heard from maybe four or five people that this happened to. Yep. And they clicked into the search bar and under popular searches, it says 365 days.

So people are obviously searching for that. The second highest search in popular searches was ALF. Yes. Brilliant. Okay. And then a lot of the other ones are ones that are either in the top 10 currently or have been in the top 10 this week. Like The Nun wasn't in today's top 10,

but it has been in the top 10 for about two weeks running. Okay, The Floor Is Lava, people searching for that at three. Yep, Avatar The Last Airbender, which is new. It's an old show, one of the greatest animated shows ever, but it's new to Netflix, so people are searching for that. See, I reckon they're not going to put it. I reckon they fiddle the chart. If that's the case, it's they're not going to put it. I reckon they fiddle the chart. If that's the case.

That's a big call, isn't it? Yeah. Accusing them of fiddling the charts. But it is predominantly made up of Netflix original content or movies that I'm imagining they've paid money for. They've paid to have that on there. But like you say, maybe not yet. Maybe it takes another day.

So that's what I'm thinking. All hope is not lost until tomorrow's charts. Then all hope will be lost. Do we have to do that whole thing again when we count it down? We could probably just not. Just talk about it. Yeah. And see.

All right. Well, I guess we'll keep an eye on the chart today and see if it does kind of nudge its way in there. Otherwise, I mean, I think it was a good feel, good moment. It was. Yeah. Just even all coming together last night and everybody sharing their stories and watching it. We're watching every Christmas, but I watched it yesterday and I still laughed.

Yeah. At bits of it. It's just genuinely wholesome. I feel a little bit sad, though. I feel sad. I just started watching it on my dad's Netflix account so I mean I'm still hopeful. Fleshforn and Megan

the podcast ZM. But now though we turn to our Tinder correspondent, Tinder Casanova producer Jared. Good morning. Who during lockdown I believe 400 matches at least. What's your current? 446. Pretty cool. Since lockdown that's slowed right down.

Oh, it's plateaued so hard. Did people just give up on Tinder now they're allowed out in the real world? Yeah, I think they just gave up on me. Oh. But have you not managed to convert any of those into points? Points?

Dates? I'm not familiar with the points. I was trying to make a rugby analogy. No, not really. They are so masculine of you. Thank you, Vaughan. So mad. Okay, so there's been no conversions kicked.

No, no conversions. But a new first. Why is Vaughan allowed to do a rugby analogy and I'm not? Mine was seamless. I was just piggybacking on yours. Yeah, right. Okay. You said there's been a first.

There's been a first, yeah. So I've seen a lot on Tinder, a lot of things, a lot of couples and people looking for love. Really? I've never seen. Couples?

Yeah, like man and woman looking for... How do you do a couple profile on Tinder? Do you just have to have one of you? That's probably how you do a couple profile on Facebook.

The first name is her name and then the middle name is and, and his name as one word and then their surname. It's always like Karen and Sharon and someone.

Karen and Nick. Yeah. Is it, they're looking for like a little something to spice it up or like an extra person to add to the relationship?

Something to do with the tricycle. Oh, okay. Yeah, right. So the other day I was scrolling and swiping and I came across a group of five people sharing the same Tinder account. Okay.

Yeah. How does that even work? So you swipe through and you just see different people? Yeah, so like their first picture's a group shot and then all the next pictures are like collages and their names. So like they shot, and then all the next pictures are, like, collages, and their names are, like, they've done a bio in the picture. That's kind of creative.

So is this, like, a group of people living together? Yep, yep. Their name's Flatties. Oh, okay, right. Oh, not a cult. I thought this was going to be a cult recruitment. So this is, like, the idea is you swipe, and you've got to pick one of them or do you have to go and hang

out with the flat um hopefully not hang out with the flat because that's that sounds hard that would be yeah that'd be socially that would be awkward like it's hard enough to do just one person on a date isn't it let alone five that would be a scary thing to walk into yeah but you've always enjoyed a challenge is that a challenge. Is that a challenge? Not for him. That seriously would be so awkward walking into a flat that you've matched with on Tinder.

Yeah. And they're all just sitting there like, hello. And they're all sitting there on the couch like, now pick one of us. Yeah. So what have you messaged since you matched? Not in a romantic sense. Just said hi. Yeah. What what have you messaged since you met? Not in a romantic sense. Just said hi. Yeah.

What are they after? So they are after, like, the usual thing a Tinder person's after. They're not after a flatmate or... Yeah, they're after, like, fun times. But you've got them both. Not as a group. Not as a group, yeah. That is taking a novel approach. What if you're like...

Fascinating. Some of the people in the flat are hotter than... And you don't get any attention. Surely it's a, it's a burly scenario. There's something for everyone too. Yeah, true. Like Jared might find

one of them hot and I might find a different one hot. Well, one of them's a guy as well. Okay. So four girls and one guy. Well, you'll have to just find

that one hot. Yeah, right. Or he's shredded. Okay. He's jacked. Yeah, right. Look at this profile in the ads. So I assume over the ad break,

we're all going to gather around and say which one we'd pick. That's surely what everybody would do in this scenario, right? I was going to say it's brutal, but then that's just what Tinder is. It's just brutal, isn't it? You're swiping left or right on someone just judging their photos. Yeah. Brings out the worst in people. But ask them what they want.

All right. What do you want? I super like them to ensure the match, so I'll flick them a message now. Right, okay. You super liked them. I've never seen anything like this. It had to be done.

Yeah, right. For research. It worked for you. But then your banter's been too friendly. Are your friends owning all of these likes? It's very official, it's like I'm writing emails Yeah, right To whoever may concern

Give them a message, ask them if they'll talk to us And we'll find out which one you can go on a date with Cool bands Or all of them Well, I need to know what they're playing at here What are they bloody playing at? What's your shenanigans going on here?

What do you want? Now earlier in the week it was proposed that on Wednesday everyone that listens to the show and is involved in the show would watch the movie

Elf the Will Ferrell Christmas classic from 2003 on Netflix to trade it into the top 10 because it was midwinter Christmas, but it had no place in the top 10. And we wanted to see what makes this top 10.

We wanted to see if we could corrupt the Netflix top 10. Because you see some stuff in there and you're like, how did that get in there? Yeah. And so many messages, so many people messaged, screenshots of them watching, Alf. It made it yesterday. I think it's number three at the moment.

It was number two in the search. Top searches. In the top searches. But it did not make it into the trending scroll along. It did not make it into the top ten. No. And we were like, well, you know, that's just life. That's just tough, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah. We tried. I was happy with the top searches to be number two. I was like, well, that's something. It's searched. Yeah, people went to look for it and they just clicked in it and it brought up the top 10 searches. Yeah, I'm not seeing it in my popular on Netflix.

Some people have had it on the home. Some people have screenshotted it. It's been on their homepage as well. But then that's a unique thing for everybody, isn't it? Yeah. Is that individuals? Is that sort of catered to by the individuals? Because I just looked and I had Space Force.

So it's not there for me. Okay. So the top 10, again, just looking, not there. Yep. Not there. But yesterday, somebody sent in evidence that Netflix were very aware of what was happening as they have sent through an email and it looks like a transcription service sort of situation. I don't know if just anytime Netflix is mentioned in the media,

there's somebody monitoring us? Well, because we were posting on Facebook and Instagram and our podcast would have a description of what we were doing, if you can set up a Google News alert or a Google alert, so anytime you're mentioned or your business, it would be flagged. I'm imagining maybe that's how that

got their attention. This says, Compere says they want people's help to corrupt the Netflix top 10 chart by watching the movie Elf. This is a transcription of a voice break that we did on air. Yes. How creepy is that? It's got it. It's got 4 minutes 11

seconds. It's got an audio file and it says this was ZM Auckland hosted by Carl Fletcher Vaughan Smith and Megan Sellers. Oh not me. Damn it you've escaped. That's not me your honour. Megan Papadopoulos if you're listening Netflix. He notes the movies and shows that are currently in the top ten of the Cine,

Two Guns, Smallfoot, The Order, The Sexy One. Yeah, it was because I said, oh, you know that one, 365, D&I, The Sexy One, and then there's a bracket with an asterisk in it indicating that that's not its actual name. Flora's Lava, Replicas, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, all of them. And they talk about how they want to get Alf into the top 10. This is just a brief rundown because you can listen to the attached audio file. Added they've challenged, they're going to challenge Matty McLean

to mention it as part of his weather broadcast on TV One's breakfast program. We've dragged Matty into this. Underneath, it says keywords, shows, program, The Sinner, TV, broadcast, Netflix. And then it says interviewees, Maddie McLean, mentions, Christmas, John Campbell, Matt Bomer. Oh, because we thought he was the actor of The Sinner. Right, okay. Shorty. And then in brackets it says Shortland Street and Wipeout.

Because we mentioned that we would watch it after Shortland Street. And I said Flora's Lava is like a Wipeout for kids. So you're telling me there's someone's job somewhere in the world is to transcribe everything that is being said about Netflix and then send reports to them. I don't know. Then there's another one. Yep. And it says this is the specific interview with Maddie McClain.

Yep. And then again it says ZM Auckland, hosted by us. Gain Megan's name's her first name. Interview with Maddie McLean. Compare says basically what they were trying to do. He adds they want McLean to plant the idea into people's minds and he should do it without mentioning Netflix. So not getting in trouble given that TVNZ has an on-demand platform also.

Oh my God. This is creepy. He then shares some ways in which McLean can do it. McLean mentions they talked about Christmas on the show this morning and agrees to their request. This sounds so much more dodgy than it actually was. Key words. I just want everybody to watch a movie.

Mentions ZM producer Anna. Oh. We're all going down. You've been dragged into this murky underworld of reporting. The only time my actual name is used. Because we always call you producer Anya, but your real name's Anna, and it's in there as your real name. It would have made my day if it had said Anya. Oh, boy.

Other mentions, Coromandel. Oh, yep. Instagram. Yeah. John Campbell, Coromandel. Oh, yep. Instagram. John Campbell, Killing Eve, Love Actually, Midwinter Christmas and Will Ferrell also broadcast from the two following stations, ZM Christchurch and ZM Wellington. Oh, they're in it too now. That's so weird. This is

so weird. So do they use these reports for like their marketing and stuff and interviews maybe? From what I can gather, yeah, because then it's saying that we've talked about Netflix. Right. So we might be open to talking about something they want to promote. If your job is to scour the media for any press, good or bad, you're going to send that to someone high up at Netflix.

So that's why this hasn't happened. But then what? Because you can't get, they won't give you the numbers of like how, on 10, how many views did the number 10 get versus how many views did Alf get? They don't, they never release that.

But then is that why we don't get numbers? Because then they can dictate the charts. Yeah. And all of the ones in the top 10 are either Netflix originals or movies or TV shows that they'd be paying right for. So they'd want them to be viewed.

If they knew about this, they'd missed a trick. Because if they'd put it in the top 10, it would have been a big news story. Even if it was in the top 10 for a moment. Yeah, it would have just given them some more publicity. And given us heaps of fodder. I just can't believe it. I mean, do you think they'd be listening to this voice break right now?

I think someone will be writing a report about our report on their various reports. I'm surprised that they managed to decipher our accents and get it pretty accurate in that. I wonder if that's New Zealand based. Yeah, maybe. Well, I'd like to see them transcribe this. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,

Netflix, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, Netflix. Voltaren MU Gel. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, Netflix. Vanilla MU Gel. Netflix. Vanilla Scented. Keywords. Voltaren Vanilla Scented. Netflix. Artificial Fiddle Leaf Fig.

And then their compares, Laughed and Cackled. Hand and Surface Wipes. Randomly read out random. Go forward. Go forward. And trolloped. Flesh, fawn and Megan. The podcast.

ZM. We talked about it before. Producer Jared matched with a Tinder profile that seems to be four people using the same Tinder profile. A party profile. Yeah. What is this? A five-way?

A new and novel approach to getting a flatmate? Well, it says flaties. Do they want to, as we said before, do they want to pick a new flatmate? Well, their bio says, take your pick, hashtag diversity. Wow. Yeah, it is a very diverse flat.

Well, we're joined on the phone by Tash, who wants to be TikTok famous, always has snacks, and named her car Leslie, according to this Tinder profile. Tash, hello. Hi, how are you? Very, very good. Good. Now, firstly, what do we think of Jared,

producer Jared, who you match with? Now, did you swipe on him? Yeah, so all the decisions are made as a flat. We sit together, and it's a very collective experience. Oh, my God. Peter Gerard, you're a democratically elected Tinder match. I'm so stressed out right now. Because I was at a party once, and somebody airplayed their phone onto the TV

and went through their Tinder, and my God, that's ruthless. That is so ruthless. Is that what you guys do? Pretty much. It's a much smaller screen. We usually just use a phone. Okay. We are students, so we can't really afford.

Yeah. Airplay is a working luxury. Yeah, yeah. Okay, and then it's got to be a unanimous yes from everybody. Yeah, we don't have the highest standards with the flat account. You've undone all of your good work.

I mean it. So you've got individual accounts as well? We do. Well, Manuel actually deleted his own individual account because none of us were willing to delete our own to make the flat account. Right.

Oh, right. Okay. The three of us, Lucy, Pansy, and I still have our individual accounts. Right. What's the goal here with the flat account? Are you all wanting to date Jared? Or would he come around for a potluck dinner?

Or do you nominate one of the flatties that's, like, more keen? We were actually wondering, because our bio is Take Your Pick, and that's because we expect people to tell us who they want, who they want to choose out of a flatmate. Jared looks so anxious and nervous, and's like shaking his head like no no um i was gonna ask if manuel wanted to go to the gym because he's pretty cut oh he'd always be keen sweet but as a straight man i'm just gonna hold my tongue on the rest so right okay okay okay you don't want to pick favorites is it also just for

like they might initially you because i see one of your flatmates is labeled as taken is that kiana but kiana yeah so kiana's taken are you maybe thinking you draw someone in maybe with kiana but then you would jump at the opportunity. Ford? That's offensive. Well, I'm just saying they could use a certain sort of bait or Burley, but then have a different bait, if you know what I'm saying. We've had a couple of people ask us about her, even though it says Kagan very clearly. But more people actually ask us about the raccoon

at the end of the profile. Yes. Okay, but you don't have a raccoon. We don't, we don't. Unfortunately, our rental agreement says we can't have pets. Which includes raccoons, yeah, you're right. It does. Okay.

So how successful has this been so far for any of you? Honestly, we've had more success with the flat account than we have with our individual account. The thing about it, I need to see more pictures of the actual flat itself. Like, what's the kitchen like? Why does that matter? Well, you're going around

to their flat and to be shared around, passed around like some sort of party platter. I don't want to go off its mildewy, cold, poorly insulated, which is 90%

of New Zealand houses. I will say, it's nice for a student flat. Okay. Well, would you like, Jared, to pop around for some drinks? Are you having some drinks soon? Yeah, absolutely. This is great, Jared.

Yeah, this is great. Well, you shouldn't have matched if you didn't want this, Jared. But the content, Fletch, the content. Oh, right, okay. But, Tash, fantastic. Well, you've got Jared's contact details there. He'd love to pop around for some bevies and make the flat. And after hearing from you and the success that this has had,

I'd imagine we might be seeing some more flat Tinder profiles popping up. Oh, let's hope so. It makes it easier for us to find one for each of us. I was going to say, what if two lots of flat profiles got together? Yeah. Good Lord. Vaughan's mind is blown. It is, isn't it?

You can see his mind. There we go. Tash, thanks so much for talking to us this morning. Thank you. Bye. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast,

why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. And music lives here. ZM.