ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 10th June 2020

Episode Date: June 9, 2020

The Morning Moo  Women in Space  I Know I'm Not The Only One!  The Banks have Banned something...   Megan had an awkward moment  What was your Parents Go-To Saying?  New David Farrier Doco!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, brought to you by McCafé. Grab yourself a delicious barista-made coffee for only $4. ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. I had absolutely no idea what day it was just then.

What? I thought it was Thursday. That's upsetting. What? Wednesday. Summation of being here would automatically eliminate Sunday. And Saturday. And Friday.

Didn't have the Friday feel. But I thought maybe it was Thursday. Wishful thinking, Nat. Wishful thinking. That would have been nice. Jumping ahead. Coming up on the show, I'm going to try something new with the winter milkers. I realise that a lot of farmers, this is the period of not milking,

but there are some people who continue to milk so that you can have milk in your... Cornies. Yeah, well, I had milk this morning. Milk in your coffee, Megan, that you can froth milk at the cafe for customers. So if you're milking cows on this June morning when there's a cold snap coming and everyone in the news is like,

it could get to negative 15 degrees next week. What am I saying? That's going to be cold. Stand by. Okay, well, all you need is a cow. And I believe you're surrounded by them. Are you happy with this, Megan? The look on his face says no.

There's lots of cows. Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, this is our brand new game. Is it a game or a feature? Both.

It's a feature with a game type element to it. Have you got a prickle? Yeah. Because you keep touching it. And the palm. A palm prickle. You always get a finger prickle. And it's well under too and I can't see its entry point.

Well, you're going to have to get a needle. I know. But then usually I like to dig in through the entry point for the prickle, but I can't see an entry point. And it's deep too. You can only just see it. Squeeze. No, I need to get up under it.

Oh, yeah. Okay. And my hand's not fat enough. Yeah. Skinny hands. Skinny hands. There's fat enough. Yeah. Don't worry about it. Skinny hands. Skinny hands. There's not enough fat on my hand to go home to me. The top six is coming up before seven.

Yeah, Paul Goldsmith. What a dick. Yep. What a dick. Yesterday, he told the Prime Minister to stick to her knitting. Wow. When commenting on small business. And in particular, I believe it was with regards to the warehouse

laying off 1,100 staff after receiving a 60-something million wage subsidy. Yeah. Which is meant to pay their staff. Yeah. So they don't lay them off. But he said, small business, love you, stick to your knitting. Yeah. Do you think he said that?

Rich, coming from a guy who won't even put his hands in his pants, feel his balls and actually make a run for the electorate that he stands in, just rolls over and let David Seymour tickle his taint. That was some searing political commentary. I'd like to see it this election. I'd have more respect for him. Yeah, right. And then just rolling over and being like, yes, I'll submit.

But the top six are things he could have told Jacinda to stick to. Right, okay. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Little Britain,

17 years ago it started. It was 2003 when Little Britain first aired. How many seasons? I feel like there was only two or three. Two or three? Well, if you've

thought of Little Britain lately or seen any Little Britain lately, you might be like, some of this has not aged well. In lockdown they did a couple of the skits and I was like, oh, that seems to have aged okay. But then they obviously left out the ones that were highly inappropriate.

But they still did get a bit of backlash for that. Yes. I think people were just like, oh, this is just not the, this doesn't age. No. Hasn't aged right. Yeah.

So it has been pulled from iPlayer, which is the British on-demand. The BBC. Yeah, yeah. The BBC, like TVNZ on-demand, but for the BBC. BBC on-demand. Yeah. Seven series.

Whoa, really? Yeah, there were seven series. 44 episodes all up. I don't think I saw the last couple of series then. So when did it finish? If it started in 2003? It was a British sketch comedy, first appearing as a radio series between 2000 and 2002.

Yeah. And a special in 2019. And then 2016. One-off specials as far as 2016. Right. Yeah, television series between 2003 and 2007. Okay. Unexpected there.

Yeah. So mostly the sketch that's come under fire has been in the last couple of weeks, the blackface sketches. There was a lot where they played characters of different races. And Vasa's been pulled. Netflix has also pulled Little Britain as well. Because what was that follow-up?

He did a follow-up series at the airport and there was a woman. He was blackfacing. That's right. That was both of me or something. That was David Williams. And Matt Lucas or was David Williams And Matt Lucas Or just David Williams

Unsure Are we addressing Chris Lilley's Series? That was only a few years ago and he was getting Outrage and there was uproar at the time The new series though Yeah it was only like last year or the year before

And that was Highly inappropriate uproar at the time. The new series though, yeah, was only like last year or the year before. And that was highly inappropriate. But even Summer Heights High hasn't aged that well. And a lot of his sketches, it's like, oof. Yeah. Well, I don't know. I don't know where they are online to see if they're still there. But I'm pretty

sure you can watch a lot of his stuff on Netflix. Yeah. But yeah. Yeah, Little Britain's gone. So it was actually four series,

just to correct myself, four series and Wikipedia have counted the specials. Right, as a series.

Right, right, right. But yeah, it was four series. Okay. And is there

any comment from David and Matt on regarding? I don't know if you would comment. Wouldn't you just hide? I think I've heard them comment before. Oh, it was in 2007.

Lucas said that if he could make Little Britain again, he wouldn't play black characters. He said, I wouldn't make that show now to upset people. We made a more cruel kind of comedy than I do now. Society's moved on a lot since then, and my own views have evolved as well. There was no bad intent. The only thing we could accuse us of was greed.

We wanted to show off about what a diverse bunch of people we could play. Now I think it's lazy for white people to just get a laugh by playing black characters. Okay. So, yeah, they've moved on. Right. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Tell people about the fluffy towels you saw on TikTok.

Oh, sexy, sexy content. Megan's like, oh my God, TikTok. I'm like, what is this going to be? Do you know there's so many good little tips and I send it to myself so I don't forget because I don't want to lose it. So I send it to myself. Does TikTok have like a favorites feature?

Can you favorites something? Probably, but you have to like have an account, don't you? Because I just. Do. So I send it to myself. Does TikTok have like a favorites feature? Can you favorite something? Probably, but you have to like have an account, don't you? Because I just. Do you not have an account? Nah. Are you, wait a minute. A lurker. You're a lurker.

I'm a lurker. Are you creeping? Yeah. You're creeping. Because I don't want to like do TikTok content because everyone will be like, mom. Like you're too old. So I just lurk.

Right. But this is one of the little tips that I saw on TikTok, is that a woman, you know how your towels are nice at the start, and then after you wash them a few times they go all crusty? And you're like, oh, even if you use fabric softener, if you're feeling bougie, still don't feel. This is what you have to do. You have to dry your towels normally,

and then just when they're just about to be dry, you just pop them in the dryer for like 15 minutes when mum's not looking because she'll tell you off. Oh, because then it fluffs it up. And then it fluffs it up and they feel so nice. Not enough. Really? Yeah, but that tip is part of this tip.

So on TikTok, this woman said that she sets the washing machine between 40 and 60 because I always put it on cold wash. You're a tight ass. But 40 to 60 degrees. That's a hot wash. Is it? Yeah. That's a warm wash.

Yeah, because hot would be like- 60 degrees is like smoking hot water. You wouldn't get in there. If your shower's at 60 degrees, you wouldn't be able to- Because I always think of like hot pools. You know how it's like 40 degrees is the really hot hot pool? Yeah. 40, 41.

So 40, 41. No wonder my knickers are shrinking. Yes. I need to cool my wash. And you add like one detergent. Yeah. And you use half a cup of white vinegar instead of fabric softener. No.

Apparently the vinegar breaks down the residue from the detergent or something and makes your towels soft. I thought that the fabric softener ejected during the spin, the final cycle. Yeah, it does, doesn't it? But is there water in that cycle? There must be, right? Yeah. A little bit. Or like in the rinse.

Wait, when is the fabric softener going in? I thought the fabric softener got in... In the spin. When it drains the water from the wash and then it flicks it in.

Or after the rinse. But it's got to rinse it out because you wouldn't want the vinegar smelling all over your towels. And it's got to have water because otherwise it wouldn't disperse

the fabric softener well enough. You know? Yeah, but there's got to be a rinse after that. Otherwise it's going to have water because otherwise it wouldn't disperse the fabric softener well enough. You know? Yeah, but there's got to be a rinse after that. It's going to smell like vinegar. Yeah, it would have a rinse at the end. But we've also got your detergent in there, so it's not going to smell like vinegar. Hmm. And so just doing that.

White vinegar too, don't put that. Right. And then you just dry them normally or in the dryer. Oh, so you dry them normally and then give them a zhuzh at the very end. Same as you. I think you just give them a zhuzh at the end. Save the vinegar. Carol has

written on, somebody asked on Quora, you know Quora, the question website? Why such disdain for Quora there in the face? Because there's one of those, you know you ask a question online and there's one of those sites that's like you've got to sign up to see the answer and I'm like I don't in the reviews. Because there's one of those, you know you ask a question online and there's one of those sites that's like, you've got to sign up

to see the answer. And I'm like, I don't need the answer. I don't want to sign up. So Carol says, in the final rinse, when you hear the washer filling up with water

after it washes and spins, when it starts filling up with water and the total cycle is close to the end, add the fabric softener when it's filling up with water for the last time. So it does need the water.

No one's got time to be standing next to their washing machine just to fluff your towels up, Carol. It's not happening. She said there's a ball that automatically opens and dispenses as well. How does the ball know? I don't know. I don't know. Amazing.

Because you know on a Fisher and Pike or the classic New Zealand washing machine, it's in that top thing. Yeah. That's really the favourite. And when it's spinning around, it the classic New Zealand washing machine, it's in that top thing. Yeah. That's really the favourite. And when it's spinning around, it spins it out, doesn't it? Oh, that comes out. And morons put their washing powder in there, like morons. Even though you say, hey, don't be a moron, that's not where it goes.

Yeah. Oh, morons, eh? If you now would like to play the morning moo, all you need to be is a farmer with a cow. So you need to be next to a cow. You need to be is a farmer with a cow. So you need to be next to a cow. You need to be by a cow. So if you're by a cow, you can play this game that Warren's made up.

What if you've just driven past and you're by a cow? What if it's not your cow? No, if it's not your cow, you don't approach a strange cow, Megan. Sorry. There's etiquette.

There is etiquette. I mean, heck, if you could walk up to a cow, you're more than welcome to play. I feel like we'll be scratching the, scraping the bottom of the barrel. No, no, no, we'll be doing the morning milkings. Right.

The winter milking. Yep. And they'll be with cows right now. And they've probably got their favourite cow either in the rotary or the hearing barn. Right, and they're ready to play the morning moot. Okay, so we need you to call us right now if you're next to a cow

Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The podcast ZM It was Oh we've got an intro made yeah The morning move Hot Hot play

What is happening This was in a meeting We weren't allowed to leave Until we had like an idea for the show. And I said the morning move because I just wanted to go home. And then the producing team called my bluff on it and made that intro for it. And so now you've got to do it. Yeah.

I did say probably wait until spring's around again and farmers are milking in their droves. Because a lot of farmers aren't milking at the moment, are they? No, it's the dry season. Give the cows a break before calving. So they've got no reason to be with their cows. There's winter milkers. Okay. They milk through the winter.

Right. How does this game work then? Basically, they were with a cow because it needed to be like an early morning feature. And when we did, during lockdown, we did the early morning essentials. When we said farmers, gosh, we heard from so many farmers. We heard from a lot of farmers, didn't we? So many farmers. I was pleasantly surprised.

Obviously the rural chat I'm bringing to the show is working. I think you lost them all with your impassioned defence of Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern before. I'll give you that. We need farmers to call, but no farmers have called that are with their cows. No. Well, this is an absolute

disaster. Hold on. Is that you? Oh, right. Right, I just saw the phone ringing. I thought maybe someone was calling through, but this is the example. Well, why don't you do an example with Anna? Yeah, this is how it's going to work. Okay, right. This is how it's going to work. Okay, right, okay.

This is how it's going to work. Okay. Morning, Anna. Hello, Vaughan. I'm a big fan. It's an honour to be on the show. Thank you. Gosh, don't go on about it.

But whereabouts are you farming this morning? I'm in the rural Waikato. What part? The southern part. Oh, lovely. What part? Um, the southern part. Oh, lovely. Sort of a Te Ao Mutu area. Beautiful. Yes, very foggy this morning. Oh, yep.

You're probably right. Gladys, her boyfriend's from the Waikato. She knows. She knows it's foggy. Six months of the year. So how would this game now work, Bourne? I'd say you've got a cow there, do you? Oh, sure do.

What's this cow's number or name? Beryl. Right. Okay. A bit of an unusual name for a cow. I don't know. Even when we do get farmers, I don't know if this game's making comebacks. And then I'd say, do you reckon you can get Beryl to give us a moo?

I reckon. I reckon it'd just be a great start to the day. Go on, then. Ready, Beryl to give us a moo? I reckon. I reckon it's just a great start to the day. Go on then. Ready, Beryl? Moo. Oh my God. Gladiator grape. This is not making

a comeback, even when there are farmers milking it. This is a terrible idea for a segment. Backbone to the economy. Thanks. How do you propose

someone's going to make their cow moo? Some people just have a trip. All right. Might be a little scratch under the neck. A little tickle. I would not encourage anybody to do anything that might hurt the cow. But after all, they're your workmates.

They're your buddies. They're your employees. As much food as they can eat. Okay, well, I don't know. Do you think we sit on this until spring or do we just cancel this as an idea? It doesn't need to be cancelled. It doesn't offend anybody, I don't think. I don't think it's said anything wildly inappropriate calling for its cancellation.

Just put it on the back burner. Right, okay, we'll see. Come spring. Oh, you've lost the farmers. Hung up on us. That's all right. They've got to get back to milking. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

From the ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there. Yesterday, Paul Goldsmith, national finance spokesperson, has told the Prime Minister to stick to her knitting instead of criticising struggling businesses. Of course, this is in reference to the warehouse cutting back 1,100 jobs. Struggling.

Yeah. Of course. Sounded like it was one of the only places open during lockdown where everyone went and bought everything they could possibly need at the time. Struggling to fulfil the backlog of orders. Yeah, they were on the news the other night for that, weren't they? Yeah.

And apparently received somewhere in the ballpark Of 60 million I think it was 68 million in the wage subsidy Yeah and the promisor said That was pretty disappointing She put a bit of anger about it And the national finance Spokesperson Paul Goldsmith Told her to stick to her knitting

Now He said that Probably not the best phrase to use because particularly younger people aren't familiar with the metaphor. That's why it's not a good phrase to use. Not that it's... Because people didn't understand his joke. Okay, man. It's not a metaphor.

No, it's not a metaphor. And it is just a sexist comment. So, and then David Seymour, that's an eye roll, said that it's not a sexist comment to say stick to your knitting, it's a sexist comment to assume it's sexist because men can knit too. David Seymour. Old seams. Would you say it to a guy, stick to your knitting?

It'd be pretty more funny if you did. Because it wouldn't have that historical sting of a blatantly sexist saying. So here are the top six things he could have told the Prime Minister to stick to. Okay. Number six. Stick to being the most popular Prime Minister in 100 years. Mm-hmm. Number five, stick to the happy little dancers

when there's actually zero active COVID-19 cases in New Zealand. Do you see people have CGI'd up a dance online? Yeah. Is it the dance from Love Actually? I haven't seen it. Is it the Hugh Grant dance? You know I haven't seen Love Actually. Is there some pointing?

Yeah, I think it's the pointing. It's the pointing. That's good stuff. It's the pointing. Number four on the list of the top six things Paul Goldsmith could have told the Prime Minister to stick to. Stick to smashing us in the polls. Number three on the list of the top six things

Paul Goldsmith could have told the Prime Minister to stick to. Stick to being an international media darling. Yeah, I mean, that's true. Even that would have sounded slightly condescending, actually, coming from him. It would have, yeah. Number two on the list of the top six things he could have told the Prime Minister to stick to?

Stick to not putting up a fight in your electorate and just getting rolled by ACT for a handshake deal with the National Party in an election. Wait a minute, that's me! And number one on the list of the top six things Paul Goldsmith could have

told the Prime Minister to stick to stick to being stick to being Jesus mate if you're going to burn

someone spit it out stick to being a compassionate caring leader touche would have been a bit better. That is today's top six.

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. NASA has plans to send the first woman to the moon by 2024. So they've got a whole new plan, a lunar exploration program planned where they want to explore more of the moon's surface. They wanted to discover and use water. Right.

And then they plan to kind of be up there for a longer period of time. So will that be another collab with Elon Musk? SpaceX? So they said, yeah, they're going to collaborate with commercial and global partners, NASA will. Right. So is that what that means? Say so.

Well, I don't know anyone else with a big giant rocket. Do you? Because NASA don't even do that anymore, do they? No. Too expensive, right? Yeah. So 12 people have walked on the moon's surface, but every one of them to date has been a man. Right.

And out of the 566 people that have flown into space, 64 have been women. So that's kind of cool that they're getting a woman up on the moon. So I was reading there was the first woman to spacewalk. She just went to a depth of like six miles under the ocean. First woman to go, yeah. I mean, that's the wrong way. What do you mean? Space is up. Yeah, I mean, that's the wrong way. What do you mean? Space is up.

Yeah, I know, but she's done both. That's a former NASA astronaut. I just said she's just gone six miles down. She's just gone six miles down. In a submarine? Yeah, in some kind of... It's the deepest point on Earth that she's... The Marihana Trench?

Oh, I don't know. The Marihana... She must have no problem with claustrophobia. Challenger Deep. It's a trench inside the abyss in the Pacific Ocean. Oh, yeah, the Mariana Trench. The Mariana Trench. Wow.

There you go. Kathy Sutherland, the first woman to reach Challenger Deep. 36,000 feet down. Imagine being the person that you can say, I've been the highest and the lowest on Earth. Isn't that just an insane claim? That's so cool. 36,000 feet down, did you lowest. Yeah. On Earth. Isn't that just an insane claim? That's so cool. 36,000 feet down, did you say?

Yeah. It's 10.9 kilometres down. Yes, it's something like six or seven miles, yeah. Crazy, eh? Do you know the thing that creeps me out the most about that? What? Is like, what is down there? Like those creepy lantern fish?

Like a Nemo? Anglers. What? And stuff that just never would have been discovered because it's so deep. And plastic bags. And is it really dark? Like something brushes your leg and you're like, oh, God, is that seaweed? She's in a submarine.

Nothing's brushing her leg. If something's brushing her leg, it's already in the submarine. Oh, she's not scuba diving then. She's taking it down. Megan, it should be crushed. Okay. Well, I didn't know. You didn't say that she was in the submarine.

We would dive deep in a pool and your ears are like, far enough. You know, I thought she just had lots of training. I thought she was like real good at diving. No, but even just the risk of going down. Did it get released last year or was it a COVID movie that didn't get released? There was that movie about people under the sea at like a mining station or something. I hate the undersea movies. I hate them. I'd rather watch a space movie where they're

trapped in space. Like as intense as that Sandra Bullock gravity movie was. Or like anything where they're marooned in space. I'm okay with it. But under the sea, yuck. You just don't like the sea. You don't like being on boats. I like the surface as long as it's flat.

And that's it. You don't enjoy swimming in the ocean. I like eating things. Don't get me wrong, I love being tumbled around in the waves. There's something fun about that. But, oh, yuck, no, that's scary, those movies under the ocean. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, yuck. No, that's scary, those movies under the ocean. Ugh. Ugh. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. I know I'm not the only one.

I hope I'm not the only one. Well, you didn't sing over the intro, did you? Well, I didn't know it was happening so quickly. Well, do you want to do it again? I was checking my shares after you roasted me about my not as big a percentage return. Okay. Yeah, go again. Okay. Shazzy's after you roasted me about my not as big a percentage return. All right. Yeah, go again. Okay.

I hope I'm not the only one. Almost missed it again. So grating, isn't it? When you hear Sam Smith under there. Don't be rude to Sam. Don't be rude to Sam. Don't be rude. I was being rude to you, but okay.

Alex joins us this morning. Good morning, Alex. Morning. All right, so we asked for people that think they're alone, the only one that does a particular something, and you messaged us with something very interesting. The weirdest thing ever. What do you do that you think you're the only one that does?

Whenever I get a takeaway cup for a hot drink, I always drink out of the little tiny air hole instead of the one you're supposed to drink out of. Wait, you're talking about drinking out of the pinprick-sized hole? Yeah. So you've got the mouth hole, the main hole, and then directly at 12 o'clock above it is a little pinprick air hole. Yes.

On the coffee cup. Do you really have to suck it to get it out? No, you don't. Not really. God, you, oh, yuck. I bet you were one of those people when there was like a can. I used to do that. Oh, my God.

Crack it open a little bit. Just a little bit. Just a can a little bit and then go. Oh, God. I used to do that because it lasted longer. Is that why you do it, Alex? Well, I started doing it when I was little because you know how it's always really hot when you first get it? Yeah. I used to think that hole was for so that you would just get a little bit.

Only a bit of your tongue would get burnt, not your whole mouth. Right. I mean, in reality, the hole is there because it lets a little bit of air in so that the coffee actually comes out and free flows. Which I found out later in life. But then you'd still be getting a lot more air in because you're swapping around the holes. So it would be coming out of the little hole. But do you ever

get a dribbly bit out of the bigger hole? No, that's never happened. Have you sucked the lid off? No, that's never happened. Because I was imagining if you were like sucking on it and then you just pulled back a little bit, you could suck the lid right off the and then you'd have coffee or hot

choccy down yourself. Has anyone at a cafe ever seen you doing this and they've said, is this the other way around? No, I've only ever had one person actually notice. Right. It was my ex-boyfriend at the time and he thought it was strange.

And that's why he's your ex now. He broke up with you. Got rid of him. Yep. He didn't understand. I have that kind of toxic person in my now. He broke up with you. Got rid of him. Yep. He didn't understand. I have that kind of toxic person in my life. What about, one more question. What about like if you get a hot chocolate and it's got marshmallows on, like you put the marshmallows in, does it get blocked?

I actually always eat the marshmallows. So that's never been a problem. I'm the same. I don't, even if they put them in the cup, I'll eat them out. And then I'll put the lid back on and then there's no marshmallow goo in there, you know? Yeah. Because it makes it all gooey, doesn't it? All right.

Well, Alex, we now want to find out if you're the only one in New Zealand that does this. So if you're listening. Two people have already text messaged and saying they've just tried this. Oh, okay. One said, I've just tried. Christ, it must take her all day to drink a coffee. And somebody else said, I've just tried this. It it must take her all day to drink a coffee. And somebody else said, I've just tried this, it's actually okay. How weird.

Okay. See, there you go. I hope I'm not the only one. Wow. All right, well, we heard just moments ago from Alex, she drinks out of the air hole on the takeaway coffee cup. Rather than the bigger hole provided. Can I just mention at this stage that the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan show is thanks to McCafe.

You can get a delicious barista made coffee from Macca's Drive-Thru today. But maybe you could do that on the way to work and try that with the air hole. See if you like it. Yeah. But we want to find out if Alex is the only one in New Zealand that does this. You've never seen anyone at your cafe do this? No, I haven't, no. I don't think many people will do it.

Callie, good morning. Good morning. Do you do this? I do that. Every time? Every single time. It saves burning my lips and it takes longer to drink, so you're indulging in the hot chocolate or can't drink a lot longer.

You could just ask your barista to not make the milk so hot. No, because then it doesn't taste as good. You've got to have hot milk. And then it'll get cold by the time she gets to the bottom. This is true. Eight years later when she's almost finished. Callie, I want to bring in Alex at this point. Alex, how does it feel to know that you're

not alone? Feels pretty good. Yeah, okay. Do you get what Callie's saying? The longer drink? Yeah, totally. That's the exact same reason I do it. So if you guys were to drink it through the normal mouth hole, you'd be finished and you'd be like, I'm ready for another.

Like, where was my long enjoyment? But then we'll have good mouth. Oh, my God. You even say the same thing at the same time. All right, Kelly, thanks for your call. More calls coming through as well. Lisa, your daughter does this. Yes, she does.

Okay. Frustrating to watch? A little, yes. your daughter does this. Yes, she does. Okay. Frustrating? Frustrated to watch? A little, yes. It takes her forever. But this started when she was quite small, so she's 15 now and still does it. It's kind of like turning in your coffee cup

into a Tommy Tippy, isn't it? A little. But with a very dangerous, potentially Bernie hole on the other side. Thanks for your call, Lisa. Hamish, do you do this? No, I don't, but my mother-in-law does

in Aussie. She drinks out of the air hole in the coffee cup. Yep. Is this frustrating for you? Oh, very much so. Right. And do you pull her up on this? Yep. And what does she say? She said it lasts longer. When she does this, is there like a slurping noise that goes with it?

Yep. Oh, God. That's the problem I have. Do you make a slurping noise, Alex, or are you? No, I don't. Okay, you. Manners, manners. Well, there you go.

Not the only one, Alex. That's very bizarre. Amazing. Yeah. Yeah. Some text messages in. Somebody said, yes, I've done this. Different cup lids have different hole sizes.

They do, yeah. So you get massively different results depending on what cup you're using. I used to do this with a lemon honey when I was sick. The small hole pressurized the water and you would get a jet hit the back of your throat. And that's how we make the lemon and honey extra soothing. Straight on the throat. I reckon you're playing a dangerous game with the lid coming off.

Yeah, because you're sucking it so hard. Yeah, and choking. If it's going straight to the back of your throat, you could easily choke on it. Somebody said, along a similar vein, I used to drink my strawberry Nesquik out of a baby bottle when I was 13 to make the drink last longer. Wow, okay.

It's weird, isn't it? I wonder if I should, like, I wonder if drinking, like if you have Friday drinks or Saturday drinks, if you used a Tommy Tippy, would that help you drink less? Well, you know how they say a straw makes you get drunk? I think it's because you drink faster, right? Can you imagine if you started having your G&Ts out of a Tommy Tippy? Or just to regulate your drinking, you know,

because sometimes you're having yarns, you're like, God, I just filled this up. I've got to slow down. Yeah, right. I'll be hungover tomorrow, but I'm just wondering if a Tommy Tippy would fix it. Far tender. Next time, less ice in my Tommy Tippy.

The ice is taking up all the room. You wouldn't spill your drink as much. It's got a lid on it. This is true. Yeah. But then maybe like the slice of lemon would get stuck in the Tommy Tippy hole. Yeah. And you'd get colic.

So it would need to burp you afterwards. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Happy second day of level one. Whee! Yes. There's been a resurgent in domestic travel even over

Queen's birthday weekend. Oh, but Queenstown was massive over Queen's birthday, right? I mean, it's her town, her birthday.

This article would disagree with you. Oh, really? Well, there may have been people going there, but Queenstown struggled

to attract domestic tourists. They had to spend down 27%. Because obviously they had domestic, but they didn't have the international. Yeah, but so that's just down on what, the last year or month? Year on year. Right, so of course it is going to be down. But then I'm surprised it wasn't down more, to be honest.

So yeah, Queenstown was down. But the regions, the people that had the biggest spend and the biggest domestic tourists. So, Greytown and Martinborough in the Wairarapa. I'm going there at the end of the month. Are you going to do a little vineyard? Correct. Ooh. Correct.

Are the Smiths hitting the vineyards? Correct. Okay. Yes. I've never been. Have you been? I've been. I've been over in New Year's.

Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Because I thought for many years... Old Avatar. What's his face? James Cameron. Yeah. Avatar, what's his face?

He's got a place, doesn't he? I could give him my thoughts on where I thought the first one wasn't that great. Because he started making the second one. Yeah. So they saw a 50% uptick over Queen's birthday weekend. Fantastic. So where else would you like to know? Auckland CBD.

I think, isn't this kind of consistent with like long weekends and like holidays and stuff? Everyone leaves. Everyone's like, hey kids, let's go see the Auckland CBD

for a long weekend. Yeah. They had a 35% drop in consumer spending over the long weekend. Because I thought I saw like a lot of people visiting, because you know I live in the city, so I can always tell when a cruise ship's in or a concert's happening, because you just see different people around.

But I thought I definitely saw a lot of out-of-towners, but again, probably not compared to international travellers. Cue the two of you going, oh, I really want to go there. Great Barrier Island. I really want to go there. I really want to go there. I really want to go there. Great Barrier Island. I really want to go there. I really want to go there. It was popular 31% higher. But I've heard they don't like people.

Black Fern. They're not a huge you're right because I've been there and they're not a huge fan of people. They're just like oh well you can't hear me. I've got an in. What are you doing here? What's your in? One of the Black Ferns. Yeah. Ella she lives over there so I'm going to go pig hunting over there when I go. How do you know here? What's your inn? One of the Black Ferns. Yeah. Alice, she lives over there. So I'm going to go pig hunting over there when I go. How do you know her?

What are you talking? What? What, you're surprised I know one of the Black Ferns? How does he know anyone? He slides into people's DMs. No, I didn't slide into her DMs. I met her at a Black Ferns function. I don't want to talk about it.

And what did she say? She's got a place over there. No, I follow her on Instagram. When did you ever go to a Black Ferns function? I'm a big supporter of the Black Ferns, Megan. But you don't go to functions. Me and Mollenberg. You don't go to functions. I went to a Black Ferns function. I'm a big supporter of the Black Ferns, Megan. But you don't go to functions. Me and Mollenberg. You don't go to functions.

I went to a function. This sounds like a big old yarn. But anyway, it looks amazing. Oh, yeah, I've wanted to go there forever. I've been there. It was lovely. It was beautiful. Okay.

I didn't think it would be your cup of tea. It's very rugged. I was forced to go there. It was a family trip. No, but I enjoyed it. It's like the west coast of the South Island. It's very rugged. I was forced to go there. It's like a family trip. No, but I enjoyed it. It's like the west coast of the South Island. Yeah, it is. Just a short

plane ride from Auckland. The people, they're like why did you come here? That's what I do. So there was like a little shop, yeah, a little dairy and they were not, they knew we went from there. Yeah, right. And they were not unpleasant, but very short. Right. And very light. Okay.

Yeah. But then I don't want it to be overrun with. Excuse me? Were you wearing this fluffy coat? Some Gucci bloody sunglasses on and a fluffy coat and some heels. I can't remember, but I don't need to be judged for my attire. You're not from around here, are you? I've been told that so many times.

It's such a rude thing to say to someone. People always say that to me. You're not from around here, are you? I've been told that so many times. It's such a rude thing to say to someone. People always say that to me. You're not from around here, are you? Because you're not wearing track pants. Every time I go home to Nelson, I get someone saying that to me. It's very rude. Whakatane and the McKenzie District, this is where I want to go, had a massive influx, up 27%.

Because of the, what do you want to go to the McKenzie District for? The night sky. The observatory, right? Yeah. Yeah, that looks amazing. Beautiful. Weird sometimes. No, but I love space.

Yeah, I know. I love stars and stuff. So I want to see like what are not polluted with light. You can see like the Milky Way and everything. Yeah, that'd be cool. Well, Elon Musk

has put a couple of his light polluting satellites up again last week, didn't he? Great. Starling. But that's pretty exciting when you see that go across the sky. Yeah, not when it blocks out Jupiter.

Where else? I hate it when Jupiter gets blocked out. Yeah, I was like... Well, the Commonwealth Bank in Australia, now they own ASB of Google. Oh, you found it out. I do. I thought I was right. You were right. Now, they own ASB of Google. Oh, you found it out. I do. I thought I was right. You were right.

And so they do. So, well, I'm just a warning. Thank God I know that. Well, no, because now this is a warning because the Commonwealth Bank in Australia have brought in a new rule. In fact, they've banned something. And that is the silly

descriptions when you transfer money to your friends. I will not stop. I'll never stop. Neither will I. No, but it's fine for you too because the bank is not going to go through your transaction history anytime soon. But for people who want to buy a house, they go through all your

bits and bobs and see what you're spending money on. Oh, I love that when Fletcher's going to buy his place and I had to owe him money and I was like, drugs, cocaine, all sorts of dumb stuff. I was like, Vaughan? And they're like, we're going to see the last six months of your bank statements.

But they know. They know. This is silly. They know. But it doesn't describe what you're actually spending the money on. You don't have to. And what kind of gun are you getting for $27? It's obviously payment back for BYO. Come on, because they only let you do one card payment.

So they, the Commonwealth Bank in Australia, completed an audit of more than 8,000 customers and they found that there were several low-value transfer amounts that had potentially offensive or abusive descriptions. Like pingers and stuff like that. Yes. As you would. So they've said that after noticing disturbing messages

in several accounts, they are going to ban the practice. I didn't know this, but they were actually also, they've said serious abusive and harassment messages. Yeah, but is that like best mates being like, here you go, you bitch? No, they're saying in domestic violence cases. Oh, okay, okay.

Which is, yeah. What? So you're transferring a dollar or whatever to somebody and abusing them via the reference in that? And then leaving a paper trail. They should have to, you know when you type in the reference, it should say like, you can't type that word. Now they are quick to point out that

all genders are sending these silly messages and silly making silly comments. So it's not just the lads. Yeah. Okay. Writing silly things. Well they've just said it, yeah. But they're saying in nature, they range from fairly innocuous jokes using profanities

to serious threats and clear references to domestic and family violence. Oh, my God. I know. That's terrible. That's terrible. So you can see that's why, yeah, they're saying that. So that I'm against, but we're allowed to still like put pungas and stuff, yeah? Well, no, they're saying no, Vaughn. So how do they, but are we allowed to still like put pungas and stuff? Well, no, they're saying no, Vaughan.

So how do they, they're banning it, but how are they going to stop you? Well, they've introduced an acceptable fair use policy, but the financial review adds that the Commonwealth Bank would have to then prove the description involved unlawful defamatory or harassing or threatening conduct before they could. That doesn't sound like it would be hard though.

Like if they're looking at it and you can see it's harassment, then... Yeah, but... But then if I was transferring you $10 and I put, like, pingers or... They're not going to do anything about that. Yeah, drug money. Yeah. They're going to have to then prove that that was drug money when it wasn't. In a court of law, the judge is like, order, order.

We are here today to discuss the transaction on the 10th of June 2020 for pingers. It wasn't indeed for pingers. It wasn't for pingers, Your Honour. Discharged. But yeah, so they're saying that they'll, yeah, I guess shut down accounts or ban customers that do this. Somebody said my boyfriend literally uses an allowance from Mr. Grey whenever he puts money into my account.

Oh my account. Oh, my God. I've had to explain that wasn't actually income on a loan application because it says an allowance. And that's technically. Oh, yeah. No, you just know that Fifty Shades of Grey movie? Well, my boyfriend's just pretending to be that guy. Somebody else said their boyfriend just used to call it F, but the full word money.

And then when we applied for a mortgage. Oh, my God. When we both sat there with the banking person, they said oh, what's this? And as embarrassed as I was, he had to explain it, which made it a whole lot more embarrassing. But the thing is, the bank, the mortgage application, the loan people would have seen all of this. Yeah. They know.

It's just what happens. It's like gravity and the sun coming up and the moon setting or rising or whatever. It's just going to happen. The moon does both. The moon does both, yes. But it's just life is what I'm saying.

Yeah. Somebody said, I literally just, before you started talking, transferred money to my mate with black dildo in the... Oh my God.

Well, enjoy it while you can. It says to give it a descriptive. I know. It says to make it descriptive. I know. So that later on when you're doing accounting, you know exactly what it's for. They might have bought dildos of a multiple colour range.

Yes. And that was the particular money for that one. Right. Got to be specific. You do. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. I was on the till for a bit yesterday at our cafe. Like on the tills. I thought you said you were on the tills. On the till. On the till for a bit yesterday at our cafe. Like on the tills?

I thought you said you were on the tills. On the till. On the till, okay. Serving people, which I don't like because I'm so, I'm awkward at the best of times. I'd be the type of person that would be like gruel, like instead of cool or great, or they say hello and I say I'm good. Oh, yeah.

I do that all the time. I'm really awkward with people. But I struck up a conversation with a lovely... Probably a pretty good idea to get into hospitality. You're great with people. Just like you to get into a speaking job. Yeah. So, yeah, I struck up a conversation with a lovely lady yesterday.

Right. And she was asking how we were doing and how the cafe's going and the new normal. And I was like, yeah, it's great. Nice to see everyone back. Your cafe's been doing all right because everyone's been working from home and they're out of the booths.

Yeah, we live. We are in a suburban area. So yeah, a lot of people working from home. It was okay for us. Not so much for like CBDs and stuff. Yeah. But yeah, we were just having a chat about the new normal. That's what everyone's calling it. And she,

we talked about the cafe and I reciprocated and I said, what about you? You back to normal? And as soon as I said it, I kind of had a sinking feeling like, what are you doing? Why'd you say that? Her face dropped and she paused and she said, um, yeah. So I've kind of been forced into early retirement. And when I say retirement, like she would not be 65. Right. Okay. Did you say that? No, because I panicked and I was like, oh no. You should have been like a 30 yearyear-old like you in retirement. Yeah, and then she proceeded to tell me kind of how like

it's been a rough time for her but she's trying to make the most of it and I just was, I felt terrible. Well, no, that's okay. She said that she was trying to make the best of it. She wouldn't have answered. You weren't to know. Yeah, she wouldn't have answered if she didn't want to talk about it. Yeah.

It is one of those times though. It is. Everybody's going through different things and it might not be completely losing their job. People might have taken a voluntary pay cut that's pushed them you know, to make some harder financial decisions and stuff. It's a crazy time.

I said that to a friend at the weekend if their job was okay and they said no, actually it's not. Lost it this week. It's just like, that sucks. I remember when Sarah Chapman, clinical psychologist, she came in last week. Yeah.

And it's not what you want to hear from people. It's going to be okay. But when a clinical psychologist, she kind of said that everyone has multi-talents. You just need to stop and think about what yours are. And you have multi-facets to you and maybe you can switch into a different direction. I've been

thinking about it since she's been in. I still haven't found anything else. You're a multi-facet. I'd be screwed if we lost this. Tinkering. Not a lot of money to be made in tinkering. I'm trying of money to be man tinkering. I'm trying to be positive. Not a time to be wasted, but not a lot of... Annoying people?

Is there some kind of role that requires that? Yeah, I guess. You wouldn't last a second in politics. Skeletons. Too many skeletons. No, I'd go in and be like, okay, look, there's skeletons. Oh, you'd be from the outset. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But look, nobody's perfect. Yeah. I mean, Trump got elected and there was that whole video on the bus thing. Yeah. And there was a long list of things. There was a long list of things. There was a long list of things. Yeah.

Right. But then she wouldn't have asked you. You don't ask somebody a question that you don't want to immediately be asked back. Yeah. Right? Okay. Or that you would want to avoid being asked back. And I also didn't want to seem like I didn't care about her

You know Yeah It's polite to kind of reciprocate Like how are you Good How are you You know And she might have just wanted to

Just get it off Get it off her chest a bit Maybe talk to someone Yeah Oh well We're always down for a hug Even from a stranger Fletch isn't

But I am I'm like Wally If you find me I'll give you one But I'm not Good luck finding me I'm not easy, I'll give you one, but I'm not. Good luck finding you. I'm not easy to find. All right.

Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Vaughan just asked us if we'd go to the rugby this weekend. No, he asked you. No, I didn't. He said, Fletch, would you go to the rugby this weekend? I didn't say Fletch. I said, would you guys?

I said, you guys. No, you didn't. I was looking at Fletch, but you have to look at somebody. You're getting affirmation from the producers. Because, okay, what if I looked over this and I'm like, you guys go to the rugby this weekend? You know, it didn't. I was looking at Fletch, but you have to look at somebody. You're getting affirmation from the producers. Okay, what if I looked over this and I'm like, you guys go to the rugby this weekend? You know, it goes crazy.

You said Fletch, would you go to the rugby this weekend? I didn't say Fletch. The point is you want to go to a live sports event. No, I don't. Why? What's wrong with you? No, but I just saw that it's open and, you know, people are really like fizzing.

People are really fizzing for some sport. And 300 million people watch the NRL. Yeah. And that's like rugby leagues not, correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't believe rugby leagues is popular around the world as rugby union is. No. And it might be the only televised rugby union happening.

So I'm just thinking the television audience is going to be huge and they're really encouraging people because I think it's the Blues Hurricanes at Eden Park. Is Dan playing in the Blues? Oh, good call. He might get out there for a... So you don't want to go, but you were asking if we would. No, I got the impression you were thinking about going.

I would think I would be more likely to go, because there's been no sport. There's been nothing else happening. Yeah, right. But then you'd get there, and there'd be overpriced hot chips and warm chardonnays in the little plastic bottles and you'd instantly regret it. No, but there'd be like, when you've got a multitude of choices,

that's disappointing. Right. But when you've got, no, there might be something almost charming this weekend about overpriced chips and warm beer. And like, it would be quite cool to be around a lot of people again. You'd be like, wow, crap. See, that part I'm not so fussed about. Are they going to relax their rules on Mexican waves?

Have they gone stiff on the Mexican waves? Oh, they don't like anything. You can't go stiff on a Mexican wave. You can't do anything when you go to a game anymore. Okay. Because a mate of mine, he lives in a little island off England, and he said their cricket is...

Yeah. So, an Indian conglomerate Yeah. found out that this cricket league is going ahead. Yeah. And has given them

all the gear to live broadcast What? this cricket because Indians can't watch any cricket. watch or play and there's no cricket being played around the world

and they're jonesing for it. Yeah, right. So much so, Indian sports betting agencies are taking bets on it. Like these low-level, like middle-aged, tubby-guarded cricketers are getting contacted by people on Instagram

being like, are you playing in the game this weekend? Any tips? Match fixing. Match fixing. Oh my God, your friend could. At a club level. Your friend could get out for zero and make thousands of dollars.

He said if he gets asked, he could. And I was like, you're, regardless of at what level the cricket's been playing, if you're involved in gambling match fixing, you're in trouble. Are you? Isn't that crazy though? If it's club cricket. That's so desperate for. Well, it's illegal.

You're making money off. It's only illegal if you get caught. No, I don't think that's a thing. I was about to say, okay, insert New Zealand sportsman who went to court for this, yeah. But then I didn't because I'm familiar with defamation laws. Yes, exactly. So I've alluded to who it could possibly be,

but I'll stop short of saying any names. Some of many, exactly. All right, well, maybe you'll see Vaughn at the rugby this weekend. You probably won't. Maybe you'll see him in court for what you just said. For that trick, so. Oh, yeah. Good luck.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. The podcast. Cold weather is coming. It's a big high, which is confusing because in summer that means hot weather. Yeah. I still don't understand how it works. Do you? Wait, does it say an H and that's cold? It means hot weather. Yeah. I still don't understand how it works. Do you?

Wait, does it say an H and that's cold? Well, the winds go anti-clockwise around the, and so it brings up the cold air from the Antarctic. Yeah. Yeah, but it doesn't say H on the weather map. Yeah. Yeah, it does. It's a high.

It's a high. We've got a big high. And they reckon some parts of the South Island minus, well, they're saying minus 15. That'll be Alpine, right? Yeah. That'll be like. But there are going to be some severe minus temperatures for the South Island this weekend. I just thought when you saw H on the map, it was like, oh, hot stuff.

Like, hot. Nah. Nah. Oh, that's messed up. And then those arrows, sometimes there's a bluey one. You get those, like, really crisp, you know, like, blue sky days. That's basically what it means. Yeah.

It can be super cold. Bluebird days. It can be super cold. So it days. It can be super cold. So it's been, it's chilling off. It's taken a while, but it's starting to feel a little bit more like winter. I was talking to mum last night on the phone and she said, it's got to be snow somewhere. And that's a surefire sign.

It's got to be snow down the line. It's got to be snow somewhere. And that's mum's way of telling you that it's cold. Go-to saying. Yeah. Yeah, right. It's got to be snow somewhere. My mum has a million, like...

Your mum, she's big on her sayings. I don't even know where they... Yeah, that's her natural lingo. Like when you say goodbye to her on the phone, she says, see you in the soup and we'll have a pee together. What does that even mean? What does that even mean? I don't know.

Oh, see you in the soup. Soup. And you'll have a pea soup. Pea soup, yeah. But pea in the soup. And there's peas in the soup. And there's soup ends in the pea. Yeah.

But why the soup? I don't know. What else? She's got some other weird ones. She's got so many of them. When we were young, we'd be like, who's that person? And instead of just answering because she couldn't be bothered or couldn't explain who they were, she'd say,

they used to chew acorns for our pigs. I'm like, I don't even know what that means. They used to chew acorns for our pigs. She says that all the time. She's got so many messed up sayings that I don't even know what they mean. But you just... But it confuses you enough that you just like, oh, okay. You let it go.

Yeah. Yeah, right. Desired effect, I guess. And you have to think about it. She talks in these weird as all the time. Yeah, right. She's an augur with them. Yeah.

I was wondering this morning if we could open up the phones to hear from people whose parents, and maybe they've always said it, so you don't really question it. It's not until your parents say it in front always said it so you don't really question it. It's not until they, your parents say it in front of like a friend or somebody else that they question it. Like, huh? Yeah.

What does that mean? Yeah. Okay, well give us a call. 0800-DARLS-IT-M 9696. Bonus points if you've picked up on their sayings too and you're starting to say them. But yeah, those things that your parents, those sayings that they always say. I have got heaps of them.

You've got another one? Yeah. Whenever you, I've started doing this one. For some reason, anytime you use honey, she would sing, honey, honey, kiss me,

honey, honey. So now whenever I like put honey on toast or whatever, you're like, honey, honey, kiss me. You've got a spreading song. So we want to know your parents'

go-to sayings. Where do we even start? They're just still rolling in on the text machine. Well, yeah, because the cold weather's coming and this is always the time of the year where something's getting cold, there's a lot of parental sayings. Ah, it's going to be snowing somewhere. But these are far

more along the lines of Megan's mums that make no sense. I love it. What was one of your mums again? See you in the soup and we'll have a pee together.

That's goodbye. Yeah. Angela, what is your dad's go-to saying? My dad's go-to saying was burn your ass, you've got to sit

on the blister. Yep. It's like make your bed in light, you've got to light it. Yeah. Make your bed in light, cutting off your nose, make your bed in line. You've got to line it. Yeah, make your bed in line. Cutting off your nose to spite your face. Brilliant, Angela.

Thanks for your call. Tiana, what's your dad's go-to saying? Every time we used to ask where he was going, he used to say to see a man about his donkey. Yeah. Yeah, see a man about a dog. Yeah, see a man about a dog was always there. Dad would always say that.

None of your business. Yeah, my dad would always say, you've got to have a lot of patience, like the hospital. It's a heart, it's a heart, yep. Which is amazing, because he has no patience, and neither do I. So it's obviously been said to him a lot. It is.

Tiana, thanks. You're called Gemma. What's your, is it parents go to saying? Whenever we used to ask my mum where someone was or where they were going, she used to say to get a wing-long for a goose's bridle. My granddad used to say a wig-wam. Wig-wam for a goose's bridle. That made absolutely no sense.

I've adopted wing-long. Okay, you've got wing-long. I've got wig-wam. I've just Googled a wig-wam for a goose's bridle is a phrase meaning something absurd or a nonsense object. Or latterly, none of your business. It's an old English phrase that's used in England, Australia, New Zealand. And dates back to 1917. Wow.

My mum also used to say when we used to ask what's for dinner as kids, she'd say a cold spud and three worms. There's a lot of those. Shit rolled in cornies. Yeah. Somebody messaged in pig's tit and parsley sauce. We used to get pig shit and cabbage. Like, thanks Gemma. This is what my granddad always used to say. What's for dinner, gang? He'd be

like, Ollie, you can ask your nan, but I'm pretty sure it's pig shit and cabbage. That doesn't sound very nice. And then you just ask them because it was a funny thing. Yeah, right. Wow, so many. When I was younger and I used to ask my mum for something, she'd say no. And if I asked her again, she'd say, I do not negotiate with terrorists.

That's brilliant. Yeah. And the United States. Somebody along the same lines as your dad, Fletch. My dad used to say, be patient or be a patient. Oh, okay, yeah. That's quite threatening, though. Very much a threat.

Like, I'm about to send you to hospital. Very much a threat. I mean, a lot of them you've got to be careful with because when you just hear these things, you grow up. Yeah. You hear them over and over, and then you look into them a little bit more, and they've got some pretty spicy beginnings

yeah some racial undertones you don't say it all someone has said don't be an idiot all your life at least take a day off once in a while

I like it Vaughn is having a lot of on the fly checking in the text machine today yeah up your nose with a rubber hose when she's annoyed with us or we're being cheeky Vaughn is having a lot of on-the-fly checking in the text machine today. Yeah. Up your nose with a rubber hose when she's annoyed with us or we're being cheeky and she doesn't know what to say.

Nope, not reading that one. That almost got me. That one almost got me. When we've got something wrong, mum would say, wrong, drop your knickers. Now, I've only just realised how inappropriate that is to say. And I still don't know what exactly it means. Like, get a whack on the bum or something? Oh, maybe.

Maybe some old school brutality there. Love you lots like polka dots. Cute. That's what somebody's mum used to say. Oh. My mum's still a very strong... We'll wait. This saying has well moved into

boomer territory now. My mum is still a very strong neck minute user. Oh. No. Yeah. Yeah. That was a... That's a classic. Nobody's doing that anymore, are they? Oh no, the boomers. Okay.

I reckon. We used to say to my granddad, is it cold outside? And he'd say, it's snapping assholes with her. I don't really know what it means. If it's snapping shut or it could snap off or we're not really sure about it. You wouldn't want to leave the house, that's for sure. No. That sounds horrible. You wouldn't want to leave the house, that's for sure. No, God no. You wouldn't want that snapping off.

What would you do? Flesh, fauna, Megan. The podcast. ZM. Fact of the day, day raccoons in Germany. Okay. An invasive species not native to Germany at all. Right.

Raccoons. It always amazes me how well invasive species set up home, like possums here in New Zealand. Oh, yeah. They've met a real guy of it, haven't they? Yeah. Haven't they? They've settled right in.

Yeah, haven't they? Haven't they had fun in our native trees? Well, because we've got delicious native trees. Oh, so many delicious trees for them to eat. Well, they're not supposed to be here, and the raccoons are not supposed to be in Germany. In the 1920s, somebody started a fur farm in Germany. The raccoons were imported and bred primarily for their pelts.

Warm, very warm fur, the raccoons. That was all going pretty well. I don't know if you guys are familiar with 1930s Germany. It was a slip-up. Oh, yeah, right. It was a whoopsie-daisy. A slip-up. A minor indiscretion. A minor indiscretion.

A minor indiscretion. And World War II broke out, Germany being the bad guys. So during one of the bombing campaigns, the wall of one of these factory farms was destroyed and the raccoons made a break for it. When you think about that, it's quite cute because they look like they're wearing little robbers' masks. Little burglars.

Skiddly-doo-doo, we're out of here. And off they went into the woodland areas that surround it. Yeah. And much like possums in New Zealand, just boomed. Wow, okay. And now there's millions and millions of raccoons and they've moved out of the woodlands back into the city. Over the past couple of decades,

apparently Germany's had a real raccoon problem in urban cities. Well, that's some of the people who brought them there to skin them. That's their fault. Because the raccoons just wanted to get away from them. Yeah, the raccoons weren't keen on that. Can't imagine anybody being too keen on that. So they have led to the introduction of things like rubbish bins, not bags. Because they'll tear through a bag like nobody's business

and make a mess everywhere. They're quite vicious, eh? Raccoon, yeah. But they look real cute. They do look real cute, but they'll go you. Oh, will they? Oh, yeah, they'll go you. I came face-to-face with one in Canada

and it was terrifyingly large. How did you get face-to-face with a raccoon in Canada? I was just walking through Stanley Park in Vancouver and I turned a corner and I saw a slight bit of movement and I was like, is that a rock? And no, it was a raccoon and I went and I went, what do I do? I had not been prepared for

a raccoon. Well, you'd never probably seen one in your life ever. I'd never and I have never since. I only saw one on TikTok. Someone was trying to feed a baby wild baby raccoon with a bottle and it chewed the end off the bottle and they called it a snarky wee bastard. Right, okay.

But it looked very vicious. But cute, but it has like sharp teeth and stuff. It can be like friendly, not fully domesticated, but this thing was way bigger than I thought it was going to be. I don't think we've... Like a cat? Like a big cat. Way bigger than a cat.

Like a dog. Like a dog. Like a dog. A length of 40 to 70 centimetres and they weigh 5 to 26 kgs. Whoa. They height of 30 centimetres at the shoulder. Yeah, I can't.

Yeah. A big one. Those are big fat cats, basically. Huge, huge fat cats. Yeah. Yeah, but they're not meant to be in Germany and they're only, and today's fact of the day is raccoons are only in Germany because of a daring wartime escape from a fur farm.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. This is crazy. People with basically psychopaths have a disproportionately large impact on the spread of COVID-19. Really? They just don't care. So this was looked at in America. So people were quizzed on how they were doing sticking to social distancing and stuff and their attitudes towards it.

And people who had psychopathic personality traits were more likely to flaunt the rules and spread the virus. Because I guess they're selfish and they don't care. Yeah. I feel like we always look into what is a psychopath because I get a psychopath and a sociopath. I had to Google it. Confused. Psychopaths tend to be more manipulative, can be seen by others as charming,

lead a semblance of a normal life and minimise risk in criminal activities. Yeah, like charming serial killers, like you say, Ted Bundy. Sociopaths tend to be more erratic, rage prone and unable to lead as much of a normal life. Okay. So psychopaths are manipulative ones.

Manipulative. Yeah. You would call the people who you've seen on the news in America refusing to wear masks, you'd call them sociopaths because they seem quite erratic, angry people. Yeah. They probably don't think they're doing anything wrong, but their general, like, community behaviour is not that great. Yeah.

Is it? I read a stat out of America. 24, they did a study, 24% of people said they wouldn't get a vaccine. They won't do a vaccine. The COVID-19 vaccine. Why? Anti-vax. If there's a vaccine, they won't do it vaccine. The COVID-19 vaccine. Why? If there's a vaccine, they won't do it 24. I guess so, yeah.

24%? The same reason like three or how many overnight last night 5G towers were burnt in New Zealand? What? They did some more. Yeah, they did some more yesterday. Some people don't deserve the internet. Yeah. I mean, it is.

There's more vaccines for us. And they're showing. And they're knowing it to be taken away. Kind of showing what happens when there isn't a vaccine for something in the world, isn't it? This whole pandemic. Yeah. You'd think so, yeah. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. David Farrier generally travels quite extensively for the work he's done in the documentary field.

Dark Tourist, well, if you've not seen that on Netflix, that's a great show. Literally travel. It's a travel show to just unusual locations. And of course, Tickled, he went around the world chasing the tickling situation. Yeah, where people got paid to be tickled. Now that's a storyline on Riverdale. Is it? Yeah.

Really? Getting paid to do tickled. Now that's the storyline on Riverdale. Is it? Yeah. Really? They're like getting paid to do tickling. Is that on Netflix as well? Because that's an incredible documentary if you haven't seen that. It's just amazing. Right. Well, he's doing, I guess when you're stuck at home, he has to do an at-home documentary and he's chosen to

title it Clamped. And if you're following his writing, I think he used to do articles for the spin off about it it's been covered before he started his own website where he puts up

his writings and his thoughts and everything about the clamping situation outside an antiques store I remember this

I remember this going down because they were a lot of people would park in that car park to go to the restaurants and shops around it. And they wouldn't go into the antique store.

And they'd get clamped. And literally, I think the government passed a law, what, was it the end of last year or start of this year? There's a limit now on the clamping fee. Yes. Whereas before that, you'd charge whatever you want. They could charge, yeah, $500. It's charging a fortune.

But is there more behind the story? Because it just sounds like... Well, there is. Because it's just on the surface is like some people clamping something. Well, apparently outside Bashford Antiques is where the clamping is happening and most of the clamping is said to be carried out by Michael Organ, a former sex shop owner who once masqueraded as a blue-blooded prince and was jailed for stealing a yacht.

There's so much more than a story about clamping that goes into much darker territory. Oh, this is great. And that's when David Ferry is like... He's like... God, how much... How much of his production costs are taken up with checking with legal? Must be a lot, right?

Gotta have a lot of lawyers. Yeah, looking over a lot of things. Oh, interesting. Has he got a timeline? Whereabouts in production are we? Well, no, working on it. He's announced that and he's working on it. So he wants to hear from anybody who's ever had any run-ins.

So if you've been clamped and something weird happened or you were just clamped. So Web Worm is what he's called. Web Worm with David Farrier is his website. If you search Web Worm, it comes up. Right. And yeah, he's looking for any feedback on it, anybody that's had any run-ins or has any further information.

I'm excited. That sounds good. Sounds juicy. Thanks, Fletch, Vaugh That sounds good. Sounds juicy. Or wherever you get your podcasts. Head music lives here. ZM.