ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 10th November 2021

Episode Date: November 9, 2021

Pet Study  Portugal  27% get the Ick from...  Top 6: Jacinda Ardern in Auckland  When did someone flirt with your Partner in front of you?  Kita Mean!  Community Notices!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Clay. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to McCafe. Barista made coffee available from drive-thru and McDelivery at level 3. And also Dine-In at level 2. Today marks the opening of stores in Auckland under level 3 point whatever we're at at the moment.

And a breaking news alert. I think it's 3 point orange light, isn't it? It's 3 point red light're at at the moment. And a breaking news alert. I think it's 3 point orange light isn't it? It's 3 point red light. 3 point red light. Yeah. A new breaking news alert here. Aucklanders flock back to malls. Queue for Kmart stretches back to food court at Albany Complex.

That's not fair though because they have to socially distance. So the queue is longer because there's two metres between. That's still a while away from the food court. At Albany. That's a while away from the food court. That has to go around the corner.

Where's the Kmart in Albany? In the mall. It's further down the end. Yeah. You've got the New World and then the Kmart and then the food court. New World, Kmart, food court. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's still quite a way.

I'm sorry, but I'm not lining up for a Kmart. yeah yeah But that's still quite a way Oh I'm sorry but I'm not lining up For a Kmart Yeah spoiler alert It's the same Cheaply made Bullshit it was Before this all happened You wash your mouth

Wow Your wife shops there Yeah and she keeps Having a shot there Because okay Tell me more about The Kmart undies I'm on board with

No you mentioned You wear the Kmart undies Yeah they're good Um I was gonna go to Spotlight. This is the problem, though, with you. You buy these shoes that are like a bajillion dollars. Because everyone can see them. And then you wear Kmart knickers.

You can't see them. That's one extreme to the other, isn't it? Don't you see? No, but they're comfortable. They're cheap. And they're just as good as any other undies. Like I say, I might have some nice knickers for when I'm going out or something, but not for you two.

We're McCayman undies. What's wrong with that? I wear my nice knickers every day for you guys. I know you do. We're McCalvins every day for you guys. What's the point? Because I don't see them. I don't want to.

Well, maybe I can just tuck my T-shirt into them to, you know, get the label up there so you can see. Or just accidentally hook your shirt up at the front and be like, oh, you've seen. These old things. Oh, these old Kelvins. Whereas, yeah. What is your Kmart? What label are your Kmart knickers? Anko.

I was joking! Are they actually? Yeah. Anko knickers. What is wrong? Does it say them? I'm sorry. Does it say them on the bag? You want they actually? Yeah. Anko and knickers. What is wrong? Does it say them? I'm sorry. Does it say them on the bag? You want percenters? Yeah, it says Anko Mondays.

Piss off, you elitist. My oh my. Yeah. No, that's interesting. I shan't be knicker shamed. No, I know. No, I'm not knicker shaming. I'm more surprised that they stuck with Anko.

It's their brand for everything. It's the same brand as their microwaves. What would you change the knicker name to? The Kmart knicker name. Just anything. But not the same as like, you know, they've got Anko rubbish bins and stuff. Okan or something. Just Anko rearranged.

Yeah. Or, I don't know. Yeah. That's weird. Just Anko rearranged. Yeah. Or, I don't know. Yeah. So that's weird. You could have a house. Knowing this, you could have a house full of Anko. You could have a food processor, a lamp, sports equipment, and your knickers. Yeah.

It's like, can you imagine Bendon doing like food processors? You just couldn't, could you? No. Or a jockey doing lamps. Unheard of. All right. Well, good luck lining up today. Thanks, Rachel.

Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fleets, Vaughan and Megan. Yes, good morning. Two minutes past six. Happy Wednesday. Our clock at home that flicks over the days. Yes, good morning. Two minutes past six. Happy Wednesday. Yay. Our clock at home that flicks over the days ran out of batteries on Friday. The actual clock itself is still going.

It's two different batteries. Oh, right. Okay. So, is every day Friday? Every day is Friday the 5th. Oh, God. Is that annoying whenever you see it? Yeah, I got it down to fix it, but it takes D-cell batteries.

I remember this last time I had to buy batteries for this clock. I was like, nothing runs on D-cell batteries. These are the massive fat ones, eh? Yeah, right. What even uses those anymore? Vibrators from the 90s. Oh, yeah, they didn't muck around, mate. They didn't muck around mate They didn't muck around back then

It was all about size It wasn't about Yeah right All these little Different little things That the Satisfied pro tour can do No sir

Just as Big and as wacky As possible They were basically Torches You could pull start them There was some Two stroke ones

Yeah right Okay You had to get your Fuel milks Fuel about 40 to 1, I reckon. Mask on so the fumes... Yeah, in a well-ventilated area. Wow. Times have changed, haven't they? Yeah.

How good you've got it. Thankfully. God, they're solar-powered now. Just leave it out in the sun for a little while. It charges itself up. Yeah. Coming up on the show, the top six. That was a joke, but also a great idea.

I know. I was like, do you know something I don't know about fun toys? Vibrators. That's a great idea. The USB, you can charge anything of solar power, can't you? In 2010, there was one. Oh, my God. No, we've definitely made advances in technology.

It doesn't need to be that big. It had big panels on it. It had big fold-out panels. You can get one on AliExpress, a solar-powered vibrator. Would you trust an adult fun toy from AliExpress? I was going to say that, but I didn't want to sound like a snob. Have you ever looked at sex toys on AliExpress? No, I was quite...

My eyes have been opened. I wonder if this one's going to load. I wonder if this one's going to load. I wonder if this one's going to load. I just want you to see the big magic wand. Look at the size of it. Wait, where does that go? I think that... Oh, Megan.

That doesn't go... Absolutely not. Wildly punches. Anyway, anyway. Coming up on the show, the top six. The top six things Jacinda will do on her return to Auckland City. Tamaki Makaurau. Makaurau.

Makaurau. Did I not say Makaurau? Jeez. I only learnt last week it's Tamaki Makaurau. You've been saying it wrong all this time. I've been saying Tamaki Makaurau. It's Makaurau. The return's Tamaki Makairo. You've been saying it wrong all this time. I've been saying Tamaki Makairo. Yeah. It's Makauro.

The return to Tamaki Makauro for the Prime Minister. What's she going to do on her return? Keeping in mind, she's been away this entire lockdown, and we've been in lockdown eight years. Has anyone mowed their lawns? Wow. There goes number four. Yeah, good.

I'm going to make you work harder. When's the top six happening? Oh, it's ages away. No one's going to remember that. People would have forgotten about that. If you're listening now, spoiler alert, number four,

mowing their lawn. Spring too. God, that lawn will be a foot high. Also, before seven, a chance for you to win with pumps. Splash for cash. $500.

Up for grabs. We're going to do that before seven o'clock on the show. Next though, a study's been done with pet owners and 97% of respondents say that they let their pet do this and I thought it was

quite high. I want to talk about this next. Well, people were surveyed about their pets and some pet habits. And this was, I thought, was quite high. 97% of respondents say that they always let their pet lick or kiss them. Yuck.

Like, that's dog owners letting their dog lick their face. Yuck. I love my dog, but, like, he licks his bits all the time. And I don't want that on my face. I don't want that, no. Yeah. And it's not great breath. No. I've seen, and they eat, I've literally watched a

retriever cross of the poodle, Ralph, and our new retriever, Richie, snack down on pig poo like it is nachos. Are you kidding me? Can you never say that sentence again, Emma? That is disgusting. I grew up on a farm and dogs just love runny calf poos.

Are you kidding? They'll eat it all up. Yum, yum, yum. Dead, like they'll find a rotten, they found a rotting dead something the other day. Okay, people are eating. I don't even identify it. People are eating breakfast.

In the morning, are they having a delicious breakfast? They're having breakfast. Yuck. They don't need to hear about your dogs eating poo. Yeah. But then people let their dogs kiss them on the mouth. That's a big no from me.

Even, you know, some people, and especially in summer, they'll let them like eat their ice cream and then they lick it. And I'm like, oh, yuck. That's not right because they've just been licking their balls. That's how COVID started. Slob don't lick.

The guy in Wuhan was having an ice cream and he let his pet bat have a lick. He gave the pangolin a lick. He gave the ferret a lick. Everybody had a lick. And now look. Yeah. Bingo. And now look.

Don't share your ice cream with your animals. That shit's nasty. What percentage? Did you say 90? 97. Yuck My cat does this weird thing where if I'm sleeping on my side and my arm's out he'll lick my hand and then he'll

sleep on it He does this thing where he curls up I don't know, he licks and then he does that thing cats do when they go round and round in a circle and then he sits on it Why don't they do the round and round in a circle? I he sits on it? Why don't they do the round and the round in a circle? I think I was told once. I don't know if this is true for cats, but I think for dogs, they go round and round and round and they scratch to check that there's nothing in there that will hurt them or spike them or bite them.

Oh, right. So they're doing a little... But then how stupid is he? He's always on the bed. There's not going to be some sticks all of a sudden in the bed. Like, he's slept there hundreds of times. Just checking. Yeah.

So, apparently, turning circles enables a cat to make its chosen sleeping place and make it how it wants before it lies down and identify harder parts where they're more likely to rest their head. Do you know why it would lick his hand? It's like... Your wider cat probably just likes my salty hand. Yeah. Yeah, you're sweaty. I'm a sweaty, salty hand. Yum, yum. Yeah, Wyatt the cat probably just likes my salty hand. Yeah, you're sweaty. I'm a sweaty, salty hand.

Yum, yum. Yeah, it's weird but he'd do it and then go to sleep either next to or on my arm or hand. Yeah. It's weird.

It's to show affection. Oh! Cat licking is not only used as a grooming mechanism, it's also to show affection by licking you, other cats or even other pets.

Your cat is creating a social bond. He's like, hello. Night-night. Yeah, and then he goes to sleep on my arm. Oh, my God. That's the cutest thing ever. And then 10 minutes later, because he's 7 kgs now,

I have to move my arm because it's got pins and needles. Do you know after you said that your cat was Major Murray Fluffington and had an obesity chat with the vet, we weighed our cat at the weekend. How big? Bear is 7.35 kgs. And how heavy is Major Fluff? Oh, he the vet. Yeah. We weighed our cat at the weekend. Bear is 7.35 kgs. And how heavy is Major Plus? Oh, he's 6.8.

So bear this in mind. This is how a friend pointed out my fat cat's weight to me. I am only just under the Air New Zealand baggage carry-on limit. So you couldn't take, you could not take your cat As baggage on a plane Oh my god Our cat struggled to jump up Onto the bench in the laundry They jumped and his back legs were like

Oh hold on, hold on, hold on His guts was like Ballyed out on the plane He's like yeah you're fat We're not feeding him but he's just I think he's fattened up on rats That's okay by me 13 past 6

A man got a speeding ticket. He wants to know what happened to the good old days of getting a speeding ticket. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. I can literally remember a friend saying, when you're going for your driver's license in a 50K zone, go 53 or 54Ks an hour. What? I can literally remember that. don't stick to 50.

It makes you look like an uncertain driver. No, that's not right. You've got to go above 50 but below 55. Trust me. That's what they said. Really? I remember it happening. No, because as soon as you go over the limit, they ping you.

And the great New Zealand setting your cruise control at 105 or 104 kilometres an hour. Yeah. You certainly, especially on like the long weekends where they're like zero tolerance. Yeah. Three Ks. Yeah. Zero tolerance.

But, you know, just come on, read between the lines here. Three Ks. Anyway, a guy on Reddit, a New Zealander, has a massive problem. He got a speeding fine because he was speeding the speed limit by five kilometres. And he was sure that was within the buffer. He's like, there's a buffer. Yeah. 55 in a 50k zone. And he said, I always thought there was a buffer zone for speed limits. Nine kilometres on a regular day, four kilometres on a public holiday. Okay. Not 9k. Not 9k in a 50. I always, rather than thinking it was 9Ks and a 50, I always thought it was a percentage situation.

Oh, right. Okay. It was a 10% buffer. So at 50, you could go 55. At 100, you could go 110. Right. Ish. Ish.

Yeah, but when was this? Was it the Labor Weekend? No. Oh, right. Sort of standard day. See, this to me sounds like he's got an attitude problem that's given him that ticket. Yes. No, no, it just sounds like

he's got an attitude problem in the fact that he thinks the rules are flexible for him. Yeah. But 55 and a 50? But for everybody to be fair. Yeah, that doesn't seem... It seems like we're all doing that, let's be honest. You look down and you're like, oh, whoopsies.

Whoopsie-daisy. These are some of the comments on it. Someone said, I got one for going 4Ks over. Someone said, my mum and my auntie both got fines for going one kilometre over during that initial long weekend zero tolerance clampdown a few years ago. That's a bit stupid.

How? Because it's not like you can set your car to go exactly 50 if you're in a, you know, like you're not going to cruise control in a 50k zone, are you? Because you've got to stop and start all the time. There's a lot more stop starting, yeah. Especially if you've got, like, mine's a digital speedo, but like some people with their like little...

Needles. Needles speedo. You can't tell exactly when that's on. It's like my old Land Rover. That's the situation. I mean, very rarely would that thing ever. It's like my old Land Rover. That's the situation. I mean, very rarely would that thing ever break any speed limit in any speed zone. But, you know, it's a little bit wibbly wobbly. How much?

Did he say how much it was? It must be 5,000. As someone who recently got a speeding ticket. For much more than that. It wouldn't have been much going 5,000 over. Is that what? I want to say 80 bucks tops. Yeah.

But there'd be some demerits in there. Oh. I don't know how many demerits. What a pain. So there's no buffer because people are commenting and a lot of people are saying that, yeah,

they're only a few k's over. Yeah. Probably from the days, somebody said it might have been from the days where the way that they measured your speed wasn't as accurate. It was kind of like within

Right. Cooey of when they would measure how fast you were going. Right. But they've got pretty good laser pointers now, so they can pretty nail it specifically. What about the area in Auckland where it's 80, but everyone goes 100?

What area? On the motorway. Oh, yeah. It says 80, but no one goes 80. Yeah, but that's their fault because that used to be 100. Yeah, but then they're going to pull you over and you're going to be like, but everyone else was doing 100.

That's why I always get real close in behind the car in front of me so that they shield me from the police's radar gun. That's terrible driving. That's following distances there. Sneak in. No, it's a bit of a Trojan horse situation. Is it? No, I'll get in right behind them.

They won't see mine. They'll just get them. Right. That way it's easier to get. Yeah, right. They won't see my number plate. They'll just get them. Right, okay. They're easier to get. Yeah, right. You see. Okay. All right, 621.

Portugal has made something illegal. It sounds pretty good. It's not drugs, is it? Because aren't they all about the drugs over there? Are they? In Portugal. Didn't they decriminalise everything? Did they?

How'd they go? Threw the doors open? Oh, I kind of can't remember. I think that's them. Don't go to Portugal. Sounds like you've been dipping into it a bit too much, Portugal. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan.

Guys have done their own research during that song. Yeah. Done their own research on the internet on Portugal. And yeah, they've just celebrated their, they did this in 2001. They've just celebrated the 20th anniversary

of the decriminalization. Of all drugs? For personal possession. Is there anything that's illegal? I don't believe so. So just drugs are confiscated still and possession, you might get a fine or community service, but they're not going to put you in prison. Like, I mean, you still can't obviously make them and stuff.

Right. Like it's not all out. But this is interesting. So, drug-related deaths have remained below the EU average since they did this. The proportion of prisoners sentenced for drugs has gone from 40% to 15%. So, they've freed up their prisons. Right. So, they're still doing drug dealers there is why there's still a percentage at all.

Yeah, 100%. And then rates of drug use have remained consistently below the EU average. So in the last 20 years. So that's interesting. Yeah. Lovely. Looks like a lovely place. I've always wanted to go there. Like, look at this tram in the solar building. That's pretty, isn't it?

Oh, that's lovely. Yeah, that's gorgeous, mate. Gorgeous. Tapas too. Oh yeah, yeah. Gorgeous. Gorgeous. Well, this is Portugal. Tapas, too. Oh, yeah, yeah. Let's not forget the tapas. They've made something illegal, so nothing to do with drugs. But if you are working from home, your boss can't message you after hours.

So, obviously, a lot of people are working from home. Yeah, right. They can't contact you once you've clocked off for the day. So, once it hits five o'clock, if you're a nine to fiver, it goes five. Your boss cannot contact you. No. And I wondered if that was just a text, but it applies to email too. Oh wow. So they can't email you either. But then just log off. Yeah, like don't look at your emails. Yeah, don't look at your emails. It doesn't apply to companies that have 10 or fewer employees.

Right. So it's big companies. And they also aren't allowed to, you know how a lot of bosses in a lot of places are monitoring your working? Yeah. And you have to move the mouse constantly. You're not allowed to monitor them from home either. That's good. Yeah.

Also Portugal, they are now making it so that staff with young children can work from home and they don't have to prearrange it with their boss up until their kid turns eight. So if you can't afford childcare, you just work from home and your boss can't do anything about it. Wow. That's cool. So you both could be working from home if we were in Portugal going to a radio show. Not for much longer, though.

Yeah, true. I might have to have another one. Just so you can Skype off work. Would that be worth it? All the admin? Nah, probably. Oh, I almost got to Skype off. I've got maths in my head.

Well, I've got Starlink now, so I've got a decent internet connection. But then you'll also have a baby. I know. From the illegal ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. Hey! Hey. Hey!

The Prime Minister is travelling back to Auckland. Confirmed first visit back to Auckland since lockdown began because obviously didn't want the whole in and out situation. And there was a rule in Parliament, but that's been changed. So obviously coming back, I would imagine taking the full precautions and getting down to business. But the top six things Jacinda will need to do first on her return to Auckland. What are you looking at there?

Yeah, I just watch what's coming up and just sorting something out. You just beaver away. Okay, I'll beaver away. You just beaver away. Number six on the beaver away. You just beaver away. Number six. On the top six things Jacinda will need to do immediately on her return to Auckland. Open the windows and fling back the curtains like mum always did when you got back from somewhere. Oh, air it out.

It's musty. Oh, God. And that was never like open the curtains. It was always like fling. Fling. Fling the windows open as hard as they can. Push them as wide open as they can it's musty in here

I can smell you know this is going to need airing out this is going to need a couple of days couple of days couple of days

number five on the list of the top six things Jacinda Renaud to do immediately on her return to Auckland check the meat in the freezer for freezer burn

she's been gone for a long time some of that meat some of those steaks maybe even some of that fish, some of those steaks, maybe even some of that fish that Clark insists he's going to do something with. Yeah. That's in the chest freezer.

Check that for freezer burn. Yeah. Yeah. How long can you keep stuff in the freezer for, like meat? There's that little sign on the inside of the freezer. It's a little fish. I thought it was forever. Three months. I thought it was forever.

No, fish not. No, no, no, no, no, not forever. It's not forever. Not, certainly not forever. God months. I thought it was forever. No, fish not. No, no, no, no, no. Not forever. It's not forever. Not. Certainly not forever. God, imagine if their freezer went off. Oh, yeah. If it flicked off, popped the fuse or something.

Because, you know, Clark would have had some bloody bonito bait in there. Oh, he's got some burley. He's got some burley in there. A bit of burley bomb or two. Got a bonito, some squid. He would have had the stickiest chair freezer in the world if that thing had been frosted. Number four on the list of the top six things

Jacinda Arnaud would do immediately on her return to Auckland, mow her lawn. Yeah. That thing, can't keep up with mine at the moment. I mowed it on Saturday. It already needs another mow.

Don't get me wrong, I'm very much looking forward to the old dual-wig mow. I've been telling you, replace it with artificial grass. Never need to mow. I can see other problems arising with artificial grass. Number three on the list of the top six things Jacinda will do

when she returns to Auckland, throw the fruit out of the fruit bowl. Because the lockdown kind of happened pretty quick, so I'm imagining she didn't have time to get the apples and the oranges and the bananas out of the fruit bowl. Oh, those fruit flies. Oh, the fruit flies. Put the whole bowl outside. It'll be mummified.

You get it outside with that too much disturbing of it because if like an orange rolls, you're likely to, yeah, absolutely wear the fruit flies in the face. Number two on the list, the top six things Jacinda will need to do on her return to Auckland. Get the cat from the cattery.

Is it just me? The cattery the whole time? That is going to be a very expensive cattery. Surely she just gets the secret police guys To just pat the cat and feed it Go around with the little Yeah because they always have to be there anyway But then like even if she left 10 little sachets

She would have torn through them Yeah true Well she'll owe somebody some money Yeah Who was buying the cat food And number one on the list of the top six things Jacinda will have to do on her return to Auckland immediately. Claire, her aunts are fine.

You know what it's like getting home from holidays. The old landline's been ringing. People still do. The landline's been ringing off the hook. You have 48 new messages. Hey, Jacinda, it's Justin Trudeau here. How's it going down there? God, COVID eh?

What a bloody bugger Bye Next new message Bonjour Bonjour Justin It is my It's just World leaders

Ringing their home phone Yeah, yeah Ringing the home phone Ringing the old home phone That is today's top six. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. How you speak can play a massive role in attracting a partner. Voice fishing is now apparently a thing.

Voice fishing? So a lot of people... Isn't that what radio announcers have been doing forever? Speak for yourself. Speak for yourself. I've been doing forever? Speak for yourself. Speak for yourself. I've been doing it the other way around. Okay, right. Is that why you talk like, I'm on the radio.

They're like, man, that guy must be a little jockey man. Little skinny little jockey man. And then they meet me and they're like holy I don't know if that's I don't know if that's what happens that's the general reaction so yeah voice phishing

is a thing and apparently a lot of people when they message when they type give off the wrong idea of what they sound like so you might be writing more formal

in your messaging and then when they meet you... You're rough as guts. You've voiced fished them. You're like, I just seen something on the way here. But 27% of Gen Zers have said they've got the ick because of their match's voice. So once they turned up

on a physical date and heard them talk, they're like, oh... Wouldn't you hear someone? You'd have a phone call before a date. Well, not always. Not always. But then there was some news last week. Hinge have started voice.

Yes, voice features. Yeah. So you can send them little voice messages and stuff or like leave voice. Right. So they can hear what you sound like before you go on a date. So they're messaging you all this stuff and you're imagining they're going to be like, hey, baby.

And then they're like, hey there, come and for our date on Friday. I'll see you there, Gavin. See you there. What if they were like really great in every way, really attractive, but then like. Like a Joe Magnanaglia. You know, you're the guy that's married to Sophia. Spit it out, mate.

You know Joe Magnanella? No, I've got no idea who you're talking about. Joe Magnanella. This guy. He was married to the chick of Modern Family. Does he have a funny voice? No, I'm saying imagine if he looked like him because that's like, you know, that's peak alpha, isn't it? Of all the people you could have chosen.

He's hot. He's very niche. He's hot. I'd be all about that. But it's like David Beckham, right? He's like a hottie. He's working on the voice though, is he? Is he?

He's definitely like, it's not like when he was playing When he was playing football And he had like the undercut And the long parted hair And he'd like run around And they're like This man's the future of football He's a brilliant lad Let's have a chat to him now

David coming Hello, how are you? I've had so much fun Remembering playing football With my friends Yeah Now he's a bit Yeah, yeah Spoiled down Yeah He wants my friends. Yeah. Now he's a bit... Yeah, yeah.

He's put it down. He's working on it. It's my daughter's birthday. I'm surrounded by a powerful woman. You're right. Yeah, I'm just trying to... Five plus or four, please. ZM's Fleshborn and Megan.

Keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier. As at Herald's new podcast, The Front Page, is your short, sharp daily news podcast. Join me, Damien Venuto, every weekday morning as I chat with journalists and newsmakers going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest news stories of the day. Listen to The Front Page at nzherald.co.nz slash podcasts and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. Jeff Bezos and Leo DiCaprio have had a conversation at an art and film gala.

So this video, the video's come out now, but initially it was a picture. It was tweeted by Variety. So the editor showed Leonardo DiCaprio. He was chatting with Jeff Bezos, Bezos, whatever, and his girlfriend, Lauren Sanchez. So they were chatting and she and Leo were flirting up a storm. Well, to me, when you look at the video, she is gushing over Leonardo DiCaprio.

She's like right. Her body language is like. Her body's almost against his. Yeah. It's like in front of her husband is like, take me now, Leonardo DiCaprio. I'm all yours. And she's looking at him like he is a meal.

And so this was a lot of... How tall is... 171 and Leonardo DiCaprio is 183. Because yeah, he looks so much shorter than Leonardo DiCaprio. I'm not sure. I think he does look like he's up on a step maybe. Yeah. A raised floor.

It's a very unflattering angle. But yeah, the picture has kind of made everybody... Well, everyone was putting it on Twitter and everywhere, calling Leo, Mr. Steel, your girl. And so Jeff Bezos decided to play along and he posted a picture of him with a red sign which said, Danger, steep cliff, fatal drop. He said, Leo, come over here, I want to show you something.

Sense of humour. Yeah. Although, how old's his wife? Because we've all seen the Leonardo DiCaprio bar graph. She is 51 years old. Oh, twice as old. Not being ageist, it's just she's not in Leo's demo. No.

Not at all. Leo's got a very specific demo. Yeah, if you look at the bar graph, he cuts them off at about 25 and gets a new one. He's been with his girlfriend, his current girlfriend, for a little while, hasn't he? Has she lasted over the 26, over the 25-year-old mark? I don't know if Leonardo DiCaprio had a girlfriend at the moment, because is he now in trouble for something he didn't even do?

Oh, yeah, I don't know. And that's what we wanted to talk about this morning, is when flirting's happened right in front of you. Yeah. I mean, in this case, it's probably more his... Girlfriend. Jeff Bezos' girlfriend just, I guess, fawning over a celebrity. It's Leonardo DiCaprio.

I know, yeah. Like, I mean, he's standing in front of me. Andrew's just going to have to deal with it. Leonardo DiCaprio's girlfriend is 24. She'll be 25 in June next year. Oh, no. She's got six months. Seven months.

Thoughts and prayers. Enjoy that. Enjoy that. Final seven months. Make sure there's lots of snuggling this American winter. Yeah. Make the most of it. But they're bringing together a couple of years, so.

Yeah, but those are a couple of years under 25. Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah, right. So yeah, we'd like to know when someone flirted in front of you. Yeah, we did flirt with someone. Was someone flirting with your partner or your partner flirting with them? Yeah, but it was right in front of you and when you were like, I'm right

here. Excuse me. Hello. Because didn't Mr. Toyboy's been flirted with right in front of you? Yeah, yeah. That happened a lot when we owned a cafe And he Always didn't know how to respond So he always was I wouldn't say flirting but he kind of went with it

Because they're customers Or so he told me But we also don't have the cafe anymore So take that how you will That's why Sold her to a huge loss But she had to get him locked up cafe anymore, so take that how you will. That's why. Yeah, that's why. Sold her to a huge loss, but she had to get him locked up. Too much time at that place without me there to keep her on. Right, yeah, gotcha, gotcha.

Yeah, yeah. But maybe they didn't know that you were, like, husband and wife. They knew. Oh, did they? They're like, who's that girl that's, like, just floating around, like, staring behind you? Oh, yeah, that's my wife. Really?

Really? They're like, Really? Really? Really? Did you know Leonardo DiCaprio's girlfriend was six months old when Titanic was released? Okay, well give us a call 0800 dials at M. You can text as well 9696. When did someone flirt with your partner

right in front of you? And you were just like, ah, come on, I'm right here. So after Jeff Bezos' girlfriend was fawning over Leonardo DiCaprio and the internet saw that picture, we wanted to know when someone has flirted with your partner right in front of you. And you're like, um, excuse me, I'm right here. The sheer audacity of it.

Especially if they reciprocated it. Although, to be fair, Leonardo DiCaprio didn't reciprocate it. No. Nah, he looked like he was like, oh, I've got to. He literally turned his body and was like pointing away. Yeah, yeah. I'm going over here now. I'm going over there to find nibbles.

I've got to. Anonymous, when did somebody flirt with your partner right in front of you? My husband's co-worker, we were, I was actually at his workplace and one of his co-workers

came up and she goes, I'm his work wife. Oh! Oh. No, you don't say that to the actual wife. You don't. No, no.

Yeah. It didn't go down well. A bit awkward. Although I am Vaughan's work wife and your wife. No, no. Yeah, that's a bit awkward. Although I am Vaughan's work wife, and your wife doesn't, she's not threatened at all. She's happy to offload responsibilities for a few hours of the day. Very happy to be rid of me. Vaughan's hard work. And Ed's looking after it all ends.

Thank you for your call. Felicity, who flirted with your partner right in front of you? So me and my partner used to work together, and we were at a client. And she was asking him his plans for the weekend and then invited him to her house for lunch. Invited him? Just him? Yeah.

Just him. Wow. How did that go down? His response was, oh, you'll have to ask my wife. And then he looked at me, and I was standing there eight months pregnant. Oh, wow. And you're like, well, I can't have soft cheese or sushi,

but other than that, whatever's on the menu sounds good to me. Okay, Felicity, thanks for your calls and messages in. It was my 21st birthday. We went bar hopping. My boyfriend flirted with so many girls while I was right there. What? No.

So he was claimed he was trying to get their numbers for his flatmate. And then later that night at my party, I asked another guy a question and he was like, why are you doing this? Oh, yeah. It's time for a new boyfriend. Are they still together yet?

I hope not. I hope you've moved on because that doesn't sound healthy at all. When I was in hospital and the nurses being a little bit flirty with me, I didn't notice, but my partner was there and she was really pissed off. She went and asked at the head nurse's station if we could get a different nurse. That's embarrassing. I don't know, man. I think just take whatever medical professional

is throwing you away. Yeah. Maybe she was just being nice. Well, the partner didn't think so, but also the patient didn't notice, so it might have just been a little bit too much. Not my partner. It was a good mate.

I was over in Sydney. He said, can you accompany me to a gay bar? It was my first time going to a gay bar. Okay. And a random guy came up to me and stroked my shoulders and said, what nice shoulders you have. And I was like, thanks. And my mate being, you know, more up for it,

said to him, what about mine? Are they nice? And he was like, not as nice as this guy's. And then my friend got really angry at me. Yeah, right. And I said, maybe it's best if we just leave. You can't be angry at your hot hetero mate. No, no.

So he's got his own bloody shoulders to die for. God, they sound like great shoulders, don't they? I want to see the shoulders. Maybe he's a rower. Do you think he's a rower? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just lovely broad shoulders. And it's got that,

you can see the clavicle, but it's still got a strong joint to the neck. Yeah. Yeah. And then it goes into a rounded shoulder. No need for shoulder pads

in this jacket. We've already forgotten the other guy, haven't we? I don't know. Who? I can see how that can happen. Scooch to the side. You're blocking your friend's

right shoulder. Scooch. Go on. Out of the way. ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan. We're joined on the show by the winner of RuPaul's Drag Race, down under, Keita Mean. Good morning.

Good morning. Hey, team. How are you? Good. Do you ever get sick of hearing that? Oh, no. You know, I love it. I love basking in the glory.

So you've got a new podcast. You are teaming up with your good friend, Anita Wiglet. It's called Keita and Anita's Happy Hour. It launches today on iHeartRadio and episode one drops at midday. What is this podcast about? Well, it's really just Anita and I gasbagging, making fun of the news and really just kind of just having fun together, having a bit of a tipple and being stupid.

I like to think it's like two sisters at the end of a West Auckland house party sharing the last can of bourbon and then making plans to go to Louis Vuitton the next day and drink champagne but not buy anything. Oh my God. I mean, we've all been there. Yeah, which you definitely have not done. Yeah. What has happened, what opportunities have opened up for you,

or what's changed since you won RuPaul's Drag Race? Mostly now I have to pretend to be a lot nicer than I am. No, you know what? I really truly feel like nothing has changed. I feel like drag has been my life for so long that it just feels like the next stage in a fabulous journey that I'm just letting the universe take me on.

And I'm just so grateful. I'm loving every second of it. You and Keita are so close. I mean, you and Anita. There's always Keita and Anita. Like, you're so close. And you're on the show together. Like, real talk.

Was she jealous? Oh, well, who wouldn't be jealous of me? I mean, come on. No, she's not jealous. I mean, it's really funny. We've got such a cool dynamic. Anita and I are constantly jealous of each other and we're always trying to one-up each other

and I think that's what creates such a healthy, weird relationship between the two of us. And she was hard done by on that show anyway. Oh, she was, wasn't she? I mean, who would have ever thought you'd get eliminated for such an ugly dress? Shame. Are you having guests on this podcast?

Yeah, absolutely You want to come on? Yes I didn't actually finish my sentence I was going to say a body part after come on Oh my gosh Just a couple of subtle differences Between broadcast and podcast.

Yeah, no broadcast standards on podcasts. No. Very true, very true. Oh, yeah, well, let's get down to it. Physically. Yeah, but yes, I do. So, yeah, it launches today. It's Keita and Anita's happy hour.

The episode drops at midday. Keita Main, thank you so much for talking to us. Oh, my gosh. Thank you for having me. Oh, we haven't yet, but we can arrange it. And you can hear that on iHeartRadio. Fletchbourne and Megan's Community Notices. Hello.

Welcome to Community Notices, a segment of the show where we have a look at what's happening around New Zealand according to local Facebook pages. Screencapped by you, sent to us, read by me, heard by you. Great. This is from the Hamilton Kirikiriro Community Connection page. Pamela writes, can someone tell Janet that I'm not stealing her roses? Exclamation mark times three.

Question mark times three. All in caps. Oh, I love a good Facebook community group argument in public. I don't know if Janet accused Pamela publicly or Pamela has just heard rumours, whispers, murmurs that Janet is accusing her of stealing her roses. What a weird thing to steal. Like, ouch, prickly.

Last thing I'd steal. And like, are you ripping the whole bush out or just cutting the blooms? Cutting the blooms. My roses are absolutely gorgeous at the moment. Who got roses? When did you turn into a boomer? They were there when we moved in, but I really like them. I really like them.

Have you ever messaged Fletcher's mum about roses? I think I've said to Bev next time she's, and this was like lockdown, I said next time she comes to Auckland, she needs to come and like prune the roses and give me like some tips. Oh, yeah. She'd love to do that. Yeah, she'd love that. I've got this climbing one.

Oh, it's gone up through a tree and you forget about it and then it flowers. Oh, it's gorgeous. They're weeds, eh? Roses. Are they? They can go crazy No Yeah, yeah, no, they can

I mean, a weed is just any plant that's booming in an environment you don't want it to be in Yeah, right, okay So they can be, I guess But anyway, Janet, Pamela's not stealing your roses Next up, from the Funga's original notice board Danger, stolen in the last 24 hours This is a serious toy It looks like, when I first saw it,

I was like, is this a diving tank? No. It looks like a haphazard homemade flamethrower. Wow. This is a serious toy in the wrong hands. It could definitely kill COVID and the operator. It's a boom waiting to go off. Return in the next 24 hours, no questions asked.

Look at the, they've included a photo of the setup, but then a photo of how far the flames go. Holy! Oh, my God. Who made that? I don't know. So someone's stolen it. Yeah, and I don't know what purpose it served.

Controlled burn off? Because it looks like a scuba tank. It looks like it could be backworn. Oh, no. That's a Darwin Award nominee right there waiting. Waiting to happen. This one, Vic Deals. Hey, Lucy, I'm sure you're having a fun night,

and that's why you ordered Maccas at 2 a.m., but they delivered your order to an empty house. That would be my neighbours. It's been sitting on the doorstep all morning. What do you want me to do with this? Not keen to attract animals that would want to eat it, and it's probably a little bit cold for me.

What do you advise? So Lucy had a... Oh, no. I reckon Lucy just ended up falling asleep before that came. Yeah, totally. Totally. But anyway, it's out there.

It happened, Lucy. It's out there. Next on Community Notices, this from Whangarei Notice Board. Daniel has absolutely tapped into a clever way of getting yourself some cheap tools. Te na koe. I'm looking for a woman who has been recently scorned, cheated on, is mad or divorced and was willing to sell their significant other's power tools or give them away for dirt cheap.

Yes. More specifically, I'm looking for a planer, thicknesser, or a milling machine. A tap or die set to be mint too. I'm always short on 10 mil sockets. Hit me up, Kilda. Edit. I'm very serious. That's a great idea.

Yeah, yeah. Because an angry, scorned, recently divorced, cheated upon woman might not have thought of that yet. Yeah. He's put the idea in their head. Yeah. Yeah. That could be a whole marketplace ideal.

And finally today from the People's Independent Republic of New Brighton, Benny writes, if anyone's lost their false teeth whilst at the park or walking the red zone,

they're now sitting on a park bench at the Bower Park playground. Oh, no. Fliss then comments soon after, did anyone pick up those false teeth found at Bower Park Ave?

I think I found the owner. If anyone knows where they are, I'd really appreciate finding them. Helen says there was a post earlier. Fliss says, Yes, I'm at the place where they were spotted and left, but they're not here anymore. Joe then writes, I believe they were reunited with the owner. Someone's auntie posted on that she'd lost hers in the area. And they said, well, I hope they're hers and she hasn't just popped in some other old man's

false teeth. Does that work? No. No, because they're shaped to your jaw and your gums. Yeah, the plate. But do you reckon, having never had false teeth, similar size, could you look at false teeth and know they're your false teeth? Well, you'd know what the plate looks like and what they... Or do you reckon you'd feel they're not your false teeth more?

You'd know as soon as you saw the plate and the teeth. Either way, you'd give them a steroid dent if they'd been left out in the park. Because a dog would 100% go wheeze on a set of false teeth. Just because of the smell. 100%. They'd want to mark their territory. So, yeah, if your auntie popped them in

and they didn't fit, the other owner is still looking for those false teeth. A lot of false teeth reports on community pages. How do you just lose them? Do they fall out? You'd notice, right?

Would you take them out for like a rest? Take them out to eat a custard square? Yeah, maybe. And then forget to pop them back in? I was just thinking of things you could eat without your teeth in a custard square. Yeah, maybe. And then forget to pop them back in. I was just thinking of things you could eat without your teeth in a custard square.

No, you can't bite through the pastry. I reckon you could... Gummy the pastry. I reckon you'd gummy your way through a custard square. Get me a custard square or I'm going to gummy it. I want to eat it without my teeth. I'll just show you it can be done. Purely for scientific research.

Those are today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page, screen cap it and send it to ours. FVM ZM on Facebook. ZM's Fleshborn and Megan. Play ZM. ZM's $50,000

secret sound. Season 10. Well, 24 hours ago, it was one. ZM's $50,000 secret sound, all thanks to Neon. Five weeks and a few days, two days, was it? Or was it six weeks? Is this a six week?

Was it that long? I can't remember what's been going on. The lockdown or secret sound? Lockdown. Both feel a bit like a prison. Yeah. And she joins us on the phone, the winner of the $50,000 Secret Sound,

thanks to Neon. Sinead, good morning. Good morning. Now, for those that missed it yesterday, what was the Secret Sound? It was a chilly bit in closing. Yes. And the lid coming down.

How many people have you heard from since then? We're like, that was my guest too. Yeah. There's so many on Facebook. And have you had any friends ask for money or say, hey? No, they've all been really amazing, actually. Really nice about it. Have you had any strangers ask for money?

No. That has happened. That's happened in the past. That's happened in the past, yeah. People have just had messages. I had a couple of messages from people from ZM followers, which was really nice. They were really nice.

That's nice. That's good. Just reaching out. Just congratulating me. Well, they'll know what happens if they meet. They'll get this. How did you sleep last night, knowing that you're $50,000 richer? I think after yesterday, I was just so tired.

I had a really great sleep, but woke up early this morning wondering if it was all real. Oh, wow. And so did you talk to your partner? Like, have you decided what you're going to spend it on, or are you still a bit unsure? Kind of. We've sort of made a few lists of things that we want to do but I think we'll sit on it for a couple

of weeks before we actually decide. Yeah, that's smart. Oh, because you know shops open today. In Auckland. Not sure I want to wait in those lines though. Yeah, yeah. The trouble is like when you go to Christmas now, everyone's going to be like, what? Yeah, they're gonna

expect top-tier presents. What are they getting us? Yeah. Nothing. Don't get them a damn thing. Get them chilli bins! Ha ha ha ha! Get them little chilli bins. Little chilli bins. Yeah, nice. Alright, well,

again, congratulations, Sinead. Incredible. Thank you so much. It's just unreal. And if you Well, again, congratulations, Sinead. Incredible. Thank you so much. It's just unreal. And if you do need help spinning it, you know where I am. Oh, here we go. God, that didn't take long. I meant to let you go. You're going shocking.

Well, there you go. Don't answer any phone calls from restricted numbers from now. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. We're crossing out of the producer's booth. Executive intern Anya has a problem. And it's that she can find no middle ground for the perfect parallel park. She's just terrible at parallel parking. Is that what we're saying?

Oh, we're not. No, you know what it is? She got used to it last week. Did we talk about on air how you were driving a G-Wagon? No, I don't think we did. She was driving a $280,000 car? Yep. Is that how much it was?

That shit was bananas. She let me have a sit in it. So far. I felt like a sheik in Dubai. Just in case people think radio producers earn a million dollars a year, your boyfriend works upstairs at Driven and gets to take different vehicles home every week. Yes, yep. And that's why your neighbours think you're drug dealers.

Yes, yes they do. Yeah, so that was very nice. But I'm back in a humbling experience back in May 2007, Hyundai Tucson this week. Ooh, okay. And no cruise control, unusual engine sounds, but just turn that radio up and the problem goes away. Unless the engine lights on. The sounds are just, you know, ambience. Yeah.

Just nice white noise. Yeah. Yeah, so yesterday I went to the beach and I'm usually okay at parallel parking. This is the stupid thing. If it's in between two cars, I can do it. But if it's like an empty street and I just have to make my way from the road to the curb. Why don't you just, if it's an empty street, you just pull in front most first. No, I still have the same problem.

Okay, so I either completely crunch the wheels. Or you need a packed lunch to get to the curb. Exactly. Oh, mum. Mum. But why don't you look in the wing mirror? I do, but it deceives me. How bad is your spatial awareness?

Terrible. There are no cars, and that is the easiest. Anyone that has a fear of parallel parking would rather there were no cars. I know, but it's gone to the point now where I think I might need to BYO cones and then set them up so I've got, like, something to work towards. You use the other cars as, like, a guide, right? Because it does, the cars, the other cars tell you how far away from the curb you are. I get that.

Yeah, and if they're wing mirrors in the same kind of spot, I'm like, yeah, that's close enough. Let's talk mirrors on the 2007 Hyundai Tucson. Can you adjust them from the driver's seat? You can on the left side. I did sidle into a tree on the right, so that one doesn't move. So you can use the mirror to look at the curb? Yes, on the left

side, yes, yes, yes. There's literally no cars. How is it hard for you to park next to the curb? It was very stressful. But also, you're sitting, you've now set the parking line so anyone else that comes to park will park wide and it won't look like it was your fault.

Just park where you think and then get out. And if it's a big gap, just go in a bit. Yeah, but people were looking, weren't they? I did that, yes. There's a very busy playground and all the parents were looking at me like, you fool. Because there's literally no cars. You put this on your Instagram story and you were not alone.

No. I had so many messages of people being like, it's either one or the other. It's crunching the wheels or we're 50km from the curb. How do you get it in the middle? I don't know. I don't know. Magic.

How were you allowed to drive that G-Wagon? It's a mystery to us all. Did it have the South Park function? Yes, but I didn't use it. You didn't know how to use it. I've become way too reliant on reversing cameras. Our family car has reversing cameras, and it's so easy to back. When you turn the wheel, the little lines, like,

and here's your projected trajectory. That does that. Yeah, that's cool. Or those ones that are like those real flash cars where they're like, this is what it looks like from a bird's eye point of view. Oh, yeah. And it shows all the cameras linked together and show you what your car looks like from a hovering helicopter.

And you can just put it in and done. But when it's now back to the old manual situation, I've got to flick the old left wing mirror down so I can see whereabouts the kerb is. And then I don't really care. Your car's so old, just grind the... Yeah, stop when you hit the kerb. I do.

But I've got that hangy-down flappy thing at the front. Oh, yeah. And if that catches the kerb, it pulls it back under the car when I drive away and it makes that scraping noise on the road. It's obviously not needed, whatever it is. Yeah, it's thick. I tried to cut it and it was too thick.

Oh, my gosh. It was a problem. I unscrewed a whole lot of stuff, but then I don't know if it was screwed on there for a purpose. Oh, my God. Brat, brat. Okay, well, the fact that, Anna, you're not alone here, we wanted to take some calls.

Are we just doing driving things? Or just anything? Just anything that you can't do so you avoid it. Yeah. Because you went to a whole other beach yesterday because of this embarrassment. Yeah, you know when you just start like flapping around and you're like, no, I just have to leave. I've just got to go somewhere else.

I've been lingering too long. Because there would be people that don't rate their reverse or their parallel parking skills so they'd only do the normal pointy end parks. Straight end parks. Parallel. What are those parks? In Australia they back into them. Yeah they do. That's so

annoying when you're waiting to drive past someone and they're like hold on a second I'm just going to reverse. Yeah. James. My friend James. You know James. He always reverses into parks. Oh my, he's one of those people. So what, is it like for a quick getaway? Well, yeah, I said, are you trying to rob this supermarket? Like, why are you doing this?

Are you in a rush? But yeah, he just always does it and gets stick for it. But yeah, so whatever it is, what do you avoid because you can't do it? Is there something you avoid doing because you're rubbish at it? Whether or not it's parallel parking. Just trying to think, but I'm really quite good at everything, so.

Well, parallel parking. Oh, no, you avoid saying that spider's name because you can't say it. Oh, yeah, we don't talk about that. And regularly. No, I can't do that. Regular, regular, regular. Nah.

All right, we'll give this a call. 0800 DALES at Emerson. You can text 9696. What do you avoid doing because you can't do it? We're talking about what you just avoid because you can't do it. Yeah. You can't do it, so you're just like, I'm just not going to do it. I'm not going to learn to do it.

Just not going to do it. Just not going to do it. But hey, you just realise you're not good at it, so that's all alright. Shout out to the person that said, seeing my mother-in-law. Can't do it. Won't do it. Not good at it. Can't do it. Can't try. This is an interesting one. Savannah, what don't you do because you're not good at it? I

don't grate cheese. Have you lost a couple of knuckles? Yeah, I have. I just can't seem to, I can't grate cheese. Have you lost a couple of knuckles? Yeah, I have. I just can't seem to, I can't seem to do it. I've tried cutting blocks off. I've tried doing the whole block. I can't do it, so I just buy it grated. Yeah, that is yum though when you buy it grated.

Yeah. We recently got a new food processor, and I've always thought those grating blades that you put on food processors were junk, right? It just mullied everything. Yeah. The one we've got actually grates. What do you mean?

You've got a grating blade in your food processor. Oh, how the other half live. We've still got the old triangle pyramid grater. Oh, yeah. With standard grating on one side, zesting on another and mini grating on the other side. Yeah, right. But not like the old, do you put a whole block of cheese in and it doesn't? No, you can

cut the cheese. Like Savannah said, she's tried cutting it into smaller bits. You cut it into like a segment and you put it down that little food processor hole. Oh, down the hole. And it goes chook, chook, chook, chook, chook, chook. Why wouldn't you just use the grater? Because Savannah's just told us why we don't use a grater. We hurt ourselves.

Have you got a discount code for Savannah? I'll have to buy one of those. Yeah, have you got a discount code? Do you have a discount code? Maybe I'll ask for one. I'll ask for one for Christmas. Yeah, that's a good idea. But then to me, that sounds like you'd get small bits of grated cheese.

I know, and that's what 80s Kenwood food processors of the past did to our cheese. It just smashed everything, didn't it? But not this one, no sir. Alright, Savannah, thanks. You're cool. Jenna, what do you avoid doing because you just can't? Hi, so I'm like Megan and there's a word... Sorry about that. I mean, I don't know if there's going to be

a cure. Or you're stuck with it for life. Love Megan, we're the same. Okay. And you can't say a word. Yeah, every time I say it, it comes out wrong. You say it and we'll try and guess. It's reverberations.

Reverberations? Renovations? Renovations. Yeah, and so if I sit there and think about it enough and how to spell it, I can say it. But if I just say it in a conversation, it comes out as revereneration. That's like Megan and Tarantula.

Regularly. Regularly. Do you ever say just Renos? Like, are they doing Renos? Oh, that's a good idea. Problem solved. Problem solved. Problem solved. Can you say, can you say Renos?

Yeah, Renos. Oh, there you go. I'm going to do some reverberation. I'm going to do some Renos. Yeah, exactly. I'll go in the middle of Renos. Yeah. Didn't want to know what you mean.

There you go. You're welcome, Jenna. Oh, thanks, guys. Life-changing. Life-changing. You're never going to do that again. No. Sorted.

Let's hope not. Life-sorted.'re never going to do that again. No. Sorted. Let's hope not. Life-sorted. All right, Jenna, thanks for your call. Anita, what do you avoid doing because you can't? Well, my problem is that I can't inconvenience other drivers. So yesterday I needed to turn left out of an intersection with, like, three lanes of traffic, and then there was a right-hand turn I needed to do straightaway.

Yep. Rather than, like, holding up the traffic to try and be like-hand turn I needed to do straight away. Rather than like holding up the traffic to try and be like, hey, I need to get through across the two lanes, I just go through the intersection, either go all the way around the block or yesterday when I was going through the intersection, pulled into a driveway halfway down the next block,

then pulled out so that I could come back to the intersection from the opposite direction and then turn left. I do that sometimes too. There needs to be more people like you. Because, no, but I'm scared people will toot at me or get angry or something.

But, like, you're allowed to turn. It's not like you're taking an illegal turn. You're allowed to do that. Just do what I do. Do whatever you want. And if someone toots, don't look at them. Just don't look at them. Because they want you to look at them. How bad is it when you're angry at someone on the motorway and they won't look at them. Just don't look at them because they want you to look at them.

How bad is it when you're angry at someone on the motorway and they won't look at you? What do you mean? Hi. No, don't even look at them. They're like, if he looks at me, he's going to get it. And you're like, I know. And I'm not looking.

Yeah, I reckon you wouldn't be alone though. It's been like a long time fit, but I will say, I can parallel park like a boss and I reverse up every driveway I get into. That's the thing. It's just as soon as there's other people that are going to have to stop for like five seconds out of their day to let me in, I'm like, oh, no, I can't do that. You need to drive with some Vaughan Smith white man arrogance.

Oh, my God, yes. You could probably run a course, actually. So much white man arrogance, I'm more than happy to share it with women even. All right, Anita, thanks. You called some text messages in. Somebody said, eating healthy. I suck at it, so I don't bother. Every time I try, I just get really grumpy and it's yuck, and so I don't.

I like that. You know, yeah, good on you. I avoid right-hand turns in traffic. It gives me wicked anxiety. I'd rather take a whole lot of lefts and take longer than have to do a right-hand turn. As soon as someone comes up behind you and you're trying to cross traffic, I'm like, do they think that was a big enough gap? I didn't feel like that was a big enough gap for me.

Are they judging my gap? Are they going to toot at me? No, okay. Yeah. Lots of people saying driving or backing trailers. Just if someone's like, oh, we need someone to drive and there's a trailer on, I just like. You turn and the trailer goes the other way.

I know. That's not where I was telling you to go. Stupid, isn't it? Stupid. So stupid. I can't drive forward into a normal car park because I can't see over the end of the bonnet. So I reverse in because there's a camera. Now isn't that terrifying to know there's people driving on the road that can't see over their bonnet?

Oh, yeah. Very well. Do you need a booster cushion? Mmm. I avoid drawing at all costs because I'm so embarrassed at how bad I am. It was hard to avoid when I was a preschool teacher, but I assumed most of the parents

when they saw it just thought one of the other kids in class had done my drawing. And if any of the kids give you shit, you're just like, well, you do better, little Timmy. But you can't.

Someone said, I noticed how much puffing I did going up one flight of stairs, so now I just avoid them completely. I won't be caught puffing and looking foolish after one flight of stairs. I'm really bad at knocking on doors. It hurts my knuckles. If you don't have a doorbell, I'm not coming to visit. Could you not just use your fist or like... I've never even thought about how anyone could be bad at knocking on a door.

Do they not know where to knock? Is it hurting? Sometimes you do hear someone knocking and they give a good crisp knock. Yeah. They must know just where on the door to hit to get that good reverberating crisp knock. Oh, that's nice. I can't roll up a hose. Oh, that's nice. I can't roll up a hose.

I know what you mean! I know you have a little twist involved. Because it goes like an eight. It goes like a figure eight. Yeah, yeah, when you're rolling a bus. It's a real skill to be able to pull in an armload of hose and get it in that perfect loop. It's the same with rope. Get it perfect every time because it gets to a certain point.

It's like, I'm going to twist now. And you're like Like hell you are And you have to turn the whole thing around Or do a little bit of a dance With yourself on the lawn To get around it Niche though Just don't be a gardener

And you'll be right No no no There's lots of uses for hires They might want to be a fire person Well Let the building burn lads I'm not going to roll that up. CDM's Fletchbond and Megan. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

There's a few sorts of people in the world I don't trust. Okay. Televangelists. Do you want my long list? Sure People who like being at sea for a very long time Why? You don't trust them? I don't trust them

Why are they doing it at sea? Fishing Why do they like to be at sea? Or on ships Bringing the cargo for us Yeah, but they don't like to be at sea for a very long time They like to get there as quick as possible. Right.

They're out there for a long time, is all I'm saying. Okay. I don't know. There's something unhuman about wanting to be at sea for too long. People love being at sea. Yeah. Unhuman. Inhuman. Yeah. Unhuman. Non-human. Inhuman, unhuman.

Right. Anyway. Who else don't you trust? Oh, there's a long list. Okay. Unhuman. Non-human. Inhuman, unhuman. Right. Anyway. Who else don't you trust? Oh, there's a long list. Okay. The government. Don't start. Nah. Nah.

Nah. Tell you what, getting back from Wellington yesterday was a bloody pain in the ass. The checkpoints, where have you been? And I was like, overthrowing the government. And they were like, on your way. They thought I was joking. So, and one of the other sets of people I do not trust at all, people who drink decaf coffee.

Oh, yeah. What's wrong with them? They're monsters. Just have water. You just don't have coffee. I like the taste, but have an adverse reaction to caffeine. That's what these people are saying online. I love the taste but caffeine gives me diarrhoea.

Could that be the truth? How do you know you're not alive if you don't have diarrhoea a couple of times a month? That's just your daily flush, isn't it? Yeah. God bless coffee for keeping it all moving. In this time of very poor diet and little to no fibre, it can cause anxiety, insomnia. That's just weakness.

You're not having enough coffees if it's keeping you awake at night. Have more stronger coffees during the day. You'll be so exhausted at the end of the day, you'll have no choice but to shut your heart down for a few hours. Excess sweating, racing heartbeat, muscle tremors. But they love the taste. And they drink decaf coffee. And like some people switch to decaf in the afternoon.

Losers. Quitters. That's what they are. They're quitting. Doesn't your mum have a coffee before bed? Yep. Is it decaf or full stream? So what's the fact of the day?

Today's fact of the day today's fact that is how they first ever came across decaffeinated coffee okay it was purely by accident and it actually incorporates another one of the things i don't trust people at sea okay because the first ever decaf coffee uh was accidentally swamped with seawater in transit. So then when it arrived, they're like, these beans are, they've been soaked. It was in bean form. It had not yet been roasted.

Pre-roasted, bean form. It was in salt water and when they roasted them, they were like, it tastes like coffee but I'm not getting the hit. I'm not getting the buzz. They did a test on it and they found the salt water had taken all of the caffeine out of it pre-roasting. Is that how you remove caffeine from beans? Salt water?

So that was like a way of doing it not enough. So they were like, well, okay, now that we know the basics of it, how can we really draw all the caffeine out of it? Right. So that people who don't like the caffeine buzz can still get coffee and we can make money from everybody, not just people who enjoy a caffeine kick. So they started upon a few different ways to do it. One of the first ways was using benzene.

Now, if you know anything about benzene, it's a carcinogen. So, yeah, that wasn't good. Yeah, okay. That wasn't good for people. So they stumbled on some different ways. They use methylene chloride, which can also be used as a paint stripper and a degreaser. Right, so that's not great.

As, but you know, not poisonous yet. Or ethyl acetate. Ethyl acetate is the building block of vinegar, which sounds like, you know, a better alternative, but can also be used to make nail polish remover. Yeah, I was going to say. So either of those ways are used. And you've got to soak it in a solution containing one of those two solvents before roasting.

Because if you do it after roasting, it takes all the flavor and everything out of it. Whereas if you do it pre-roasting, it leaves the flavor but takes the caffeine. And they found this out purely coincidentally when a shipment of coffee beans got soaked at sea in seawater and it drew all the caffeine out pre-roast. But again, yuck.

Yeah. If I don't feel my heart, just be like, here we go, after a coffee. Not worth it. You need to know it's beer. Yeah. I need my watch to just be like, here we go, after a coffee. Not worth it. You need to know it's there. Yeah. I need my watch to just be like, hey, breathe. So today's fact of the day is the first ever decadfinated coffee

was discovered purely by mistake when a shipment of coffee beans was soaked in seawater. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Well, news out of Australia that by the end of the week, at 160 bars and restaurants, you will now be able to afterpay your meal and drinks. And that has got... That is dangerous.

There is no better indicator. It's time to go home when your EFTPOS card declines. Yeah. There's no better indicator than opening up your wallet and seeing you're out of the cash that you allocated for yourself. Yeah, I know. How will you do that on the spot, though? I guess it's no different than having a credit card, right?

It's credit. You've got a limit. And like with Afterpay, you've got the app. You're signed up. I do worry about the irresponsible amongst us. I didn't know, but it's kind of creeping in this kind of buy now, pay later, these services.

There's a few of them. They talk about in Australia, one of them called Zip being able to be used for childcare.

Right. So you can pay for your childcare like buy now, pay later. Right. So just all kind of avenues of life.

I guess it's taking over credit cards, which you can use for practically anything apart from gambling, right? Yes. it's taking over credit cards, which you can use for practically anything apart from gambling, right? Yes. Oh, you can actually, no, you can pay your lotto with that, can't you?

So no, gambling too. Okay. So, yeah, so obviously it's got people upset because they're like, well, you know, people are already in debt. People are already ticking up clothes. Wow, the people upset being like, no, don't do that.

I'm not going to be able to help myself. Or are they like worried about people? They're worried. They're the people that work in budgeting services, you know, with people that are snowed under. Because obviously with Afterpay, if you don't know how it works, it divvies up your purchase into four payments and you pay that

off. But then if you're late, you get stung with the fees. Now the Reserve Bank in Australia found that the two largest buy now, pay later providers, which is Afterpay and another one, had 6.1 million active users in Australia alone. Afterpay made $70 million in late fees alone in 2020. And that doesn't include because retailers also have to be paid to offer afterpay, right? So they kind of

feel backed into a corner if they're a retailer and they're selling things if they don't provide afterpay. Yeah, I don't know what they, if they take a cut or... Yeah, it's a percentage isn't it? And then so retailers, if they don't offer afterpay, you're just going to buy it from somewhere that does have Afterpay

if you don't have the money then and there at the time, and people don't. And they reckon that this year, so that was $70 million in late fees in 2020 this year because so many more people are using Afterpay. It's estimated $107 Australian million this year alone in charges. You can look at their terms of service here in Aotearoa. You can make repayments after pay anytime before the due date.

Otherwise, after pay will automatically process payments on the scheduled dates from your card. If a payment is not processed on or before the due date, late fees will apply. Initial $10 late fee and then a further $7 if the payment remains unpaid seven days after the due date. Right. Question though.

Yeah. So you're out and you're boozed and you're after paying your drinks. The next day, are you going to know? Like if you don't look at your, are you going to look at your bank account? You're going to know. Well, they'll send you an email or I don't know how it works. I was going to say you're not in the right state of mind to make that decision, but you make lots of dumb decisions.

Is it on an app. Do you like pay wave? I don't know. Or scan your barcode or something. I've never used it. I just credit card things if I need to and then just pay it off. But they've found one in five buy now, pay later users are missing payments. The younger generation particularly impacted.

Half of users aged between 18 to 29 cut back on essential items to make repayments. And as somebody said, even if you're making the payments, they recently applied for a mortgage and afterpay. Someone messaged this in. Afterpay do not look good on your bank statements. Oh, really? Yeah.

Same with lots of takeaways, eh? Can someone write a list of things that don't look good for like when you go get a mortgage? There needs to be a definitive list of things you're going to look for and what is bad. I think anything that's just not the supermarket, right? Well, that's not fun. Fun, that's bad.

ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Ah, you may recall just yesterday and the day before, people sharing pictures of their pets with a little box thing that said, we'll plant one tree for every pet picture. Well, it got wildly out of hand. We said, who's planting all these trees? Who started this? Was it last? I saw it was like four and a half million pet pictures had been shared off that one.

And that was going up. It's probably at five or six now. At least because this went far and wide. And even when finally someone came forward in a social media account to say it was us, when they finally came forward, it was at 4.1 million. That was 20 hours ago.

Oh, wow. PlantedTreeCo is an Instagram site. They do exactly that. They pride themselves on using trees. What's the proof? Huh? Is there proof story? Have you...

I'm not logged on here, but they've got a proof because they've put a post up saying it was us. Proof of previous donations. No, this is about how they've given money to other things. They've done other things before where they're like, we'll plant a tree and donate money. Right, because their Instagram bio says they've done half a million dollars raised for different charities.

Yeah. They've got a million followers, but then that's gone up because of this. Insanely, yeah. And where are they based, though? Doesn't say. I don't know. I'm still a little cynical. You're on the fence.

That someone hasn't just started an account to claim this. Thank you for sharing your pets. They're adorable. We added a new add yours story

as a fun tree planting campaign where you can show off your awesome pets. We immediately realised the post would grow too big and we didn't have any resources to plant that many trees

so we deleted it 10 minutes later. 10 minutes? Even though we deleted it, the stories continued to spread out of control. Our credit for the post was also removed because of what seems like an Instagram bug when you delete a post.

Your post. Oh, right, okay. We want to use this awareness for lasting impact, so we've created this fundraiser. It's raising money towards Trees for the Future, which is an organisation that we love, which is dedicated to planting trees. We are not affiliated with Trees for the Future. We're simply raising money through this Instagram fundraiser, which will go directly to them so that they can use it to plant trees.

Share this, let us know, so we can actually plant the 4 million trees. Wow. At last count, 20 hours ago. I mean, there's nothing that's going to make them have to stick to this. There's no rules or laws is there these are the top comments where will you plant these so called 4 million trees I don't know man 4 million doesn't sound right to me

says dummy thick dilf I don't get what doesn't sound right. Like you can still click on the thing and see how many people have done it, right? Somebody else says, do you promise to be transparent with your spending? A fair question of a charity, I suppose.

Where have you planted 6,500 trees? But I don't even know where they've decided to get that number from. No, that was like three hours after it was already posted and it was already at 4 million. It says in their bio, 6,500 trees planted. So that's why

they're asking that. Where have those planted? Yeah. I don't know. It just sounds a little fishy to me. Well, either way, they regretted it instantly, didn't they? Ten minutes and now it's become a worldwide phenomenon. And it went crazy. So we've all learned a lesson here, haven't we?

We love posting pictures of our pets. Don't try is the lesson. Yes.