ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 10th September 2020

Episode Date: September 9, 2020

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas   Rubbing is Better  When did someone accept your hollow offer?  Vaughan is Dad of the Year  Do you have a Side Hustle?  Megans Recurring Dream ��Shrek  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleeche, Warner, Megan podcast. Thanks to McCafe Coffee for great tasting barista-made coffee on the go. This is the last thing that we're doing in studio before we leave to go home for the day. And I am ferociously F5-ing refreshing my browser to see if my courier package has arrived and it hasn't. At work? Yeah. Is this personal mail? No, it's show content mail

What is it? Well we had that Your pop five hats We had the rule didn't we Last lockdown that No personal No personal mail to work So I address everything

To the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan show Yes Attention Fletch Yes So it's a loophole Is it your massage gun? The massage gun You influenced me

I need another I gave myself a thorough Seeing to last night How did I need to get Yuck I need With the massage gun. You influenced me. I need another. I gave myself a thorough seeing to last night. I need to get. Yuck. I need. With the massage gun. See, when Vaughn says he gave himself a thorough seeing to,

that just means the massage gun. Whereas you, we all know you've got the Satisfyer Pro 2. Which is not being used. God. Just because you're having your sexy Harry Styles dreams, it'll only be a matter of time before it's the Harry Styles 2. Now, the massage gun was on board at 7.09 a.m. Right.

It's a few hours ago. I'm getting a lot of just you looking at that. I'm getting a lot of those spam emails, those phishing emails lately that are like, you've got a package waiting. You just need to pay the release $3. Click here. And it's crazy because when you're not expecting something and hanging out for your parcel, you're just like, oh, spam. Good one.

And then when you get those, when you are waiting for a package, you're triggered, eh? You're like, oh, my God, no. Yeah. What? I've got to – okay, I better – oh, wait. Slow right down. Yeah.

Slow right down and identify whether or not they're this – and they're probably fake because you would have paid for postage before they even got sent on its way. There's no such thing as like a payment a release but even even if they make three dollars from like two thousand stupid people but it's not a lot of money it's fishing it's not to get three dollars from you it's to get your password and your log on and then it just gets added to this massive list and then people buy them yeah they buy like a thousand um emails and logons and then they do

all sorts of nefarious things with it. Goodness me. Yeah. So that's fishing kids. Not the fun one where you get to have snapper at the end of the day

with some potatoes cut up into chips. Yeah. Do they still do take your kid fishing day? Remember that thing? No, we plundered the ocean. I don't know.

Is there not enough fish left? Nah. No, because I think I remember saying... Take a kid for a walk, Dave. Yeah. I was like, Dad, can you take us fishing? He's like, I hate fishing. We're not going fishing.

It's boring. Okay, cool. We don't like fishing then. Really? What about your mum? Does she like fishing? No. She likes cricket.

I like fishing. And that's boring. It's good if someone else is going to bait the hook and get the fishies off. I like fishing off the rocks, but boats I get seasick. And you always get a snag. Yeah, that's half of the fun though. Is that a snag or have I caught the biggest fish in the world? Nope, snag.

ZM. Head music. Lives here. Flesh, fawn and Megan. The podcast. Donald Trump has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. Who am I? Are we going to wake up and be like,

whew, that was a bad dream, 2020? I hope so. I don't know who won. Because Jacinda was nominated last, is she nominated again this year? I don't know. Because it wasn't last year, it was Greta Thunberg

who was nominated, but she didn't win either. Or Jacinda, it was someone else like out of left field. Who was nominated, but she didn't win either. Or Jacinda, it was someone else like out of left field. Who'd done some amazing things. It's one of those, a lot of people get nominated.

There was a far right Norwegian politician that nominated Donald Trump for the Nobel Peace Prize and he has been arguing that he's long overdue for it. That Donald Trump has been arguing

that he himself Yeah, of course. is long overdue for it. Oh my God a charm has been arguing that he himself Yeah, of course. is long overdue for it. Oh my God. I think mostly because Barack Obama was also nominated. So he thinks

he should. So he thinks he should be, yeah. 2020 is just I can't find a list of nominations. I can't say what it is on the radio.

Nominations. Yeah. It's a dumpster fire. Yeah. Let's start with that The top six Is coming up on the show Do you remember?

Don't tell me Don't tell me Don't tell me The top six things The top six things I will miss About the Kardashians Not being on

Yes The TV Can you bring up The Kardashians So this was the TV. Keeping up with the Kardashians. So this was big news yesterday. So then next season will be the last? Yeah, the 20th season. After 13, almost 14 years. I love when you see an old episode

pop up somewhere. And like there's Bruce. There's old episodes on Netflix in New Zealand now. Yeah. Seasons 1 to 4. It's such a trip. You're like, who's that little girl? And it's Kylie

and you're like, oh my God, she's going to be a billionaire. Yeah, because she was, okay, I watched one yesterday

and Kendall and Kylie were arguing because Kendall was starting her modelling career and Kylie was having a meltdown and Bruce was like,

Kylie, your day will come and I was like, oh yes, it will. It will. It will. Kendall will. It will. Kendall still looks the same.

I looked at a before and after photo that somebody did yesterday. She still looks the same. She's just grown up. But Kylie looks just like a wildly different situation. Yeah. All right. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, the segment of the show where we look at Christmas penetration.

Yes, Christmas penetration is a very complex mathematical formula to work out how much Christmas we've got flowing through our bones, our veins, 105 days till Christmas. This time next week, we're going to be in double digis.

We've had more reports of Christmas creeping in. We've got those for you coming up. And at 8.25 this morning, your chance to win cash. With Fact of the Day, you just need to listen to the Fact of the Day and answer the questions at 12.04 to win cash. All right, next on the show, we go to Queensland, Australia. No, we're not literally. No one's going anywhere.

Sit down. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. You would say in Australia, Western Australia seems to have got off very lightly from COVID-19. Northern Territory's not doing too bad, but Queensland's kind of touted. It's the New South Wales, Victoria that have, well, Victoria's had the worst situation with COVID-19.

Melbourne's still in lockdown. What was it up to? They said it was going to be 100 days by the time people, that have, well, Victoria's had the worst situation with COVID-19. Yeah. Melbourne's still in lockdown. What was it up to? They said it was going to be 100 days by the time people. Yeah, and everyone's fighting. Yeah, but then the numbers are still there, so yikes. But Queensland's done all right, and the Queensland Premier's under a bit of fire

because Queensland were just like, shut the borders. Yeah, they won't let anyone in. And they're like, hey, we're still Australians. And they're like, you're not a Queenslander. Get out of here. And how they test

is they stop you at the border and they were like, who do you think should have won State of Origin? And if you accidentally say New South Wales, they won't let you in. They won't let you in.

Yeah. But the rules in Queensland say at a wedding, the bride and groom are allowed to dance and their parents are permitted to join them, but no like big dance floor weddings. Oh, yeah. Well, that's fair enough.

It's a classic. Yeah. You get on the dance floor, everyone gets out there. There's a boogie woogie. It's not happening. However, sex parties and sex clubs are still allowed under the COVID safe industry plan.

And people are like, well, that's a bit stink because I want everyone to dance at my wedding, but I can't. But if we're all naked and doing it in a club,

then yes. That would be fun. Except you wouldn't want the same people there. Presumably the people you invite to your wedding aren't the same people you invite to your sex party. No. You don't want to see your uncle people there. Presumably the people you invite to your wedding aren't the same people you invite to your sex party.

No. You don't want to see your uncle on there. Because that's the thinking with a wedding or a funeral is that people are emotional and they're together. They're hugging. They're touching. They're kissing. They're breathing.

They're in close quarters. Yeah, but they've been dancing, but like everyone's sitting together, aren't they? Or do you have to distance at the table? Yeah, that's true. You're all sitting shoulder to shoulder. It's an unusual one. Well, unless these sex parties have masks on, maybe.

They have masks on. I like to have sex with a mask on, COVID or not. Star Wars masks. Right, okay. Everybody's a character. Shadows of Vader. I'm Jabba the Hutt. We're coming to some sort of agreement

over the exchange of the frozen carbonite body of Han Solo it's a very sexy mask she would not even participate in any of that

like even just hearing you describe that she wouldn't she wouldn't that included she wouldn't participate in any aspect of this wild sex

that you speak of even the sex itself so I don't know this seems like it's getting a bit of heat in in any aspect of this wild sex that you speak of, even the sex itself. So, I don't know, this seems like it's getting a bit of heat in journalist circles, so maybe there'll be a change to the rules about sex clubs. Because that doesn't make sense. What do you mean to a sex club? Did you ask me what you think?

What do you think happens? I imagine most of the giveaways in the name. But do you stick with the people you went with? Is there, like like different areas? No idea. I'm never going to go to one, so I've got to ask the question. It just seems like a lot of admin. Like, oh, thanks for that.

Do I have to do it back? Or are you going to? Oh, my God. Is that an insight? Do I have to do it back? You're off. See you later. What was your name?

Well, we don't ask names. See, that's why I'd be bad. Yeah. I thought, oh, we should add each other on Facebook. Don't do that. In trouble. Should we have a kiss? Oh, no, we don't have a kiss.

Okay. I don't think there's no kissing, is there? Is there? Oh, God knows. Was there kissing before COVID? I'm very, very vanilla. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. An Australian man has sued his British wife for racial discrimination.

Oh, okay. I say wife, but their marriage has obviously fallen apart. Oh, that's a shame to hear. That will be because homosexuals were allowed to get married. So the sanctity of marriage fell to bits. That's why we've got hurricanes and stuff. Who was that guy, that religious guy in America? The head of a church was saying that COVID-19 was purely a problem

for people in same-sex relationships. They were causing it. They were causing it. They were spreading it. And now he's got it. What does that say? Love a story like that. Love it. Well, these two,

they founded a company together. So it was a British woman. She came to Australia with her Australian husband and they founded a company together. But he was eventually fired. Now, I don't know if he was fired before the marriage broke down or during or... She fired him. She fired him for gross misconduct.

I don't have details on what that is. Can you fire your, like, could you... They'd be co-directors, right? Because it would be like you and Mr. Toyboy in your cafe. It'd be like all of a sudden you turn up and you're like, Mr. Toyboy, you've been eating too many Malteser slices. I'm firing you for gross misconduct. Because we're co-directors.

For eating the lunches. So I don't think. But when you started the company and you had to do that thing where you divided shares. Yeah. Who got the majority? No, it's 50-50. Oh, no, you never did that. Because if a decision needs to be made and you're at loggerheads

and it's 50-50, you can just literally just sit there undecided. You should have gone 51 and given him 49. Oh yeah, but he was there at the time. He would have seen why have you got like a controlling share. Or give him 51 and you do 49. No, I don't want the lesser share. Well, take 51 then. So it was 50-50s and there was no

arguments. But yeah, so I don't know how she managed to fire him, but she did. Right. And he then sued her for, he has got $170,000. So he was successful. Yeah. And he was trying to prove that she saw Australians as an inferior race. So maybe that also had something to do with why their marriage broke down.

Right. Okay. But yeah, it doesn't okay. Where was she from? Britain. And this was in Britain? No, in Australia. And Australia moved to Australia, yeah. And in Australia, she said Australians are an inferior race.

Yeah. Even though if she's British and they're Australian, their ancestry would marry up pretty much identically. Yeah. But they're an inferior race. Yeah, I mean, people who are racist don't think about that. That's what I read recently is that genetically humans, if you're a human, you're 99 point. If you're a human.

If you're a human, welcome to the show. If you're a human, you're listening to this. Thank you for joining us. Oh, God, all those aliens are tuning out now. No, no, no. They're interested to hear what we've got for listening to this. Thank you for joining us. Oh, God, all those aliens are tuning out now. No, no, no. They're interested to hear what we've got that they don't. Okay.

We're 99.95% identical. Yeah. Like, to everybody. Is it the.05% is the thing that decides your eye colour, your hair colour, if you're going to have hair,

how dark your skin is, what your ears are going to look like, where the mole goes, what your butt smells like. All those things are decided in such a tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny part of what makes us up. And that really like put racism into like a percentage perspective for me. It's like, oh, it's even like mathematically, it's a ridiculous notion. Yeah. It's like, oh, it's even like mathematically, it's a ridiculous notion.

Yeah. Well, she has to pay $170,000 now essentially for being racist. And she's assuming they're going to get out of Australia alive because they're straight Australians. Flesh, fauna, Megan. The podcast. ZM. Ho, ho, ho.

Ooh, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Ho, ho, ho, ho. 105 days away from Christmas. Oh, that's crazy. So a couple of weeks, it'll be three months. Yeah. And it'll also be daylight savings in a couple of weekends. Oh, I've noticed those nights are getting longer already.

Oh, they certainly are, aren't they? Oh, yeah. 105 days away from Christmas, these are the latest reports of Christmas penetration. Ella McRobbie has been in touch. She says Christmas penetration levels are sneaking up in Fresh Choice Oxford. Okay. And they're already having Christmas packaging out on the shelves.

And the Christmas packaging she refers to are the Yuletide wine bottle bags. Oh, okay. You know, it's like you're giving someone a bottle of wine. Yeah, right. You pop it in a little bag. It says, tis the season to be jolly. Jolly pissed. Well, if you drank the whole thing at once.

You will be jolly. You'll be well on your way. Other reports of Christmas sneaking, and this comes to us from a London co-op. Oh, okay. From one of our international listeners, Elizabeth Campbell, says it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas in London. I can report the first sighting of a Maltesers reindeer at the supermarket co-op today. That's in the shape of a reindeer filled with the Malteser. Yeah, nice.

The Malteser inside. Because, you know, I love Maltesers, but I just prefer the balls as opposed to the reindeer. Don't we all? Nah. Sometimes they just get in the way. Grow up. It's the same with Maltese's Easter Bunny. What balls do you prefer?

Traditional, milk chocolate, white chocolate. I've never tried the milk chocolate ones. White balls are hard to find. The white Maltesers, R.A.P., aren't made anymore. I've never had the white balls. Oh, they were delicious. You've never had white balls? I find that hard to believe.

And lots of balls. Gavin's also been in touch with the show. A ball-less entry. Gavin writes, Countdown Blenheim. It's beginning to look touch with the show. A ball-less entry. Gavin writes, Countdown Blenheim. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Hello there, hollow Santa. Made of chocolate.

Oh, wow. Yeah. Made of un chocolate. And there's more than un chocolate Santa there. It's a whole end of an aisle situation going on there. And somebody else said, Didn't we just have bloody Christmas? Didn't we just have Easter? Very confusing year when it comes to that.

And they've actually got what looks to be Easter rabbits beside Santa. Well, that's because we didn't really have an Easter. They might have leftover stock from lockdown level four. You reckon they're just trying to get disorientated Christians in between their holidays. Is it the rabbit holiday? Is it the bearded guy holiday? Either way, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Forget about that. Oh, oh, over here, buy some chocolate. Very confusing. Okay, with that in mind and 105 days away from Christmas. Has anyone seen the wrapping paper? Christmas penetration is at... 11%. Oh, it is beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

And if you see any reports of Christmas creeping in, message our Facebook page, FBMZM on Facebook. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. This is like yawning as soon as I talk about having an itch. It would be really helpful if you felt an itch over your body somewhere. Well, I don't have any itches. Do you mean a bite? No, no, no.

You know you've just got an itch somewhere and you scratch it. I feel like as soon as you talk about it or like spiders or something crawling on you, you suddenly have an itch or something. Right. If you have an itch, you just scratch it, right? Yeah. Was it actually itchy?ch, you just scratch it, right? Yeah. Was that actually itchy? Well, yeah, because it was...

I've got an itch in my back now. So you're not supposed to scratch it. This is new research. It's published by the Society for Neuroscience. Society for the Brain Stuff. You're having a good old itch now. I know, yeah. So apparently itching is not actually good for your skin

and there is a better way to soothe the itch. I guess when you think about it, you're getting your nails and you're aggravating your skin. Hot spoon. Is that what you do? I thought it was a cold spoon. A mozzie bite. Mozzie bites, yeah.

You run a teaspoon under a hot tap. Obviously not hot enough that it's going to burn you, but as hot as you can handle. Yeah. And then you get it hot and then you just push it on and hold it for as long as you can. Obviously you don't want to burn yourself. Oh, that's for bites.

Not for like general scratches on your back or something. Oh, no, that's for mozzie bites. Right. Because I used to always, you'd dig your nail in and do like a little cross on the bite. And that would stop it. That's another little trick. Why did that work?

Because it just made it hurt instead. Hot. Yeah. But apparently instead of scratching, you're just supposed to rub your skin. So if you feel like a little itch coming on and you ask someone to scratch your back, just get them to like rub your back. Because it activates an anti-itch pathway in your spinal cord and is actually more effective than scratching and less damaging for your skin that's interesting yeah this sounds like a ploy to get

your back rubbed to be honest now that we've discussed it in length. God, I'm itchy everywhere. Are you not itchy? I don't tend to get itchy. I get itchy bites. Yeah. And I do that thing where I tickle myself until I need to itch it. But I find that calming. You're just sitting here during the show tickling your arm, and then you're like, oh, too much.

Sometimes we'll be in a meeting, and Vaughn will be slowly caressing his arm, and he's like, what are you doing? Tickling the inside of your forearm. This is the thing about these long sleeve shirts that I wear is that I really have to

hike them up to get to the good spot. That's the elbow. But if I'm wearing a t-shirt, yeah, I'm just constantly just like tickling the inside of my arm

and then it gets to the point where it's a bit too much and you've got to rub it. And it is more of a rub actually than a scratch. It is more of a rub to stop the tickling. It's so weird.

It's so calming. It's so relaxing. You should try it. F. It is more of a rub to stop the tickling. It's so weird. It's so calming. It's so relaxing. You should try it. Fletchvorna Megan, the podcast. ZM. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there. The month was October.

The year was 2007. Better times. Simpler times. Oh, what a simpler time What else happened Kim Jong Il Was still in charge Of North Korea

Goodness Michael Clayton A movie was released Sir George Clooney I just googled October 2007 Not a lot Not a lot happening

Here's a piece Of interesting information. On October the 14th, Keeping Up With The Kardashians featuring Kim, Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian premieres on the e-cable network in the United States. Wow. And yesterday, the big news, it will end next year with its 20th and final season. Yeah. Wow.

Well, the top six things I will miss about Keeping Up with the Kardashians is today's top six. You would have watched quite a bit in your time because I'm very...

Shade used to love watching that. She's a big fan. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, the vocal fry is number six. No one does vocal fry

like the Kardashians. And Kourtney. No one does vocal fry like the Kardashians. I'm Courtney. She doesn't believe in inflection. I'm not saying the Mercedes. No one does it the same. Yeah. No one does it like the Kardashians. Number five on the list of the top six things

I'll miss about keeping up with the Kardashians. The constant reminder that money doesn't equal taste when it comes to interior design. Yes. All the money you could hope for. And a highlighter pink drawing of a waterfall made out of turtles on the wall

of your house. Eight times the size of a normal photo. Number four on the list of the top six things I'll miss about coming up

with the Kardashians. The 20 minutes it gave me to do whatever I wanted when my wife would watch it. I was going to say that it's your time. Lost in the world.

I could just be gone doing anything. It was like guys were loving Downton Abbey there for a while because that was a solid hour and their wives were addicted and they could just do whatever they wanted. Did Sian A get addicted to Downton Abbey? Nah, she never got into Downton. Okay.

A lot to catch up on now if you're going to dive into, if you're going to do a Downton deep dive. It'll be a lot to catch up. Number three on're going to dive into, if you're going to do a doubt and deep dive. It'll be a lot to catch up. Number three on the list of the top six things I miss about keeping up with the Kardashians, the staggering height differences between people in an immediate family. I've got their heights here in order of shortest to tallest.

Yeah. Kourtney Kardashian, five foot. Wow. Is that Kourtney? You met Kourtney. No, I met Khloe. Oh, you met Khloe. Way taller than me.

She's coming up on the list. Kim Kardashian. Five foot two. I saw Kim Kardashian at LAX. Do you remember when I saw her at LAX? Yeah. And she got on the golf cart with Kanye. You saw the booty in real life.

The booty in real life. And she is so small. Like short. Proportionately. Yeah. I remember you saying she looks different in person than on the telly. in real life and she is so small like short proportionately you're saying she looks different in person than on the telly

it was like mind blowing to see in real life Chris Jenner is 5 foot 5 and a half is that me that might be me I'm 5 foot 6

I wanted to know how big you are because this is my reference for short people I'm 164 well then Kylie Jenner is 5 foot 6 she would be the same height oh no she's taller than. I'm 164. Well, then Kylie Jenner is 5'6". She would be the same height.

Oh, no, she's taller than me. I'm better. Khloe Kardashian is 5'8". Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Kendall, 5'9". Rob, 5'11". Wowzers.

Brodie Jenner, I don't know how did he get on this list. 5'11", the same. And Caitlyn, Jenna, 6'1". Wow. So there's no one over 6'0 apart from Caitlyn. Yeah. Wow. Caitlyn's over 6'0.

But they look tall on the show, right? Yeah. But that's just because Courtney's... Courtney looks so tall. That's because her sisters are so short. And they actually get... Like, she's half a foot taller than her sisters. They actually get primary school children to film it.

So they're always pointing the camera up. Number two on the list of the top six things I'll miss about Caving Up With The Kardashians. The big mystery every episode if we'll ever see Rob ever again. And then they mention him and you're like, he's back. But he's not. They just mention him just to remind us that he's alive.

Yeah. Or maybe he isn't. Surely in the final season. He'll pop back. Yeah. We can only hope. And number one on the list of the top six things I'll miss about coming up with the Kardashians, Kendall.

Is that it? Is that it? She's barely in it. It's enough. Yuck. A little bit's better than nothing. Yuck. You're a creep.

Why am I a creep? So creepy. Everybody's got a favorite. And she happens you're a creep. Why am I a creep? So creepy. Everybody's got a favourite. And she happens to be my favourite. That's today's Top 6. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. So last night messaging a friend, James. You guys all know James.

Great man. Lovely James. Great man. I said, when are we catching up? Because it's been a while. And he said, oh, well, I'm a bit busy this weekend. I'm moving house. I'm referring now to my Instagram DM messages. Moving house this weekend. So excited.

I was like, oh, that's cool. Do you need a hand? And then other chat, chat, chat, chat. And he said, no pressure, but I think my brother's going away this weekend. I tell you what, rather than you recounting the conversation, we've got James on the phone, so why don't we just have a chat to him? Good morning, James. Good morning.

Good morning. Okay, so I don't need to refer to the message, but I offered to help James move house this weekend. Yeah, it was really lovely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but then I said, do you need a hand? And you said yes. Yeah, totally, because you offered. Exactly, yeah. Yeah, but then I said, do you need a hand? And you said yes. Yeah, totally, because you offered.

Exactly, James! But it was a hollow offer. Well, I just remember the time that you were on the radio and said that you didn't have any real friends. And I was like, oh, it's really nice that you offered to help me move because that's what real friends do. Please never let that go. I sat on it busily for 24 hours before I had to drop it in the conversation. Yeah. do. Please never let that go.

I sat on it basically for 24 hours before I had to drop it in the conversation. Okay, when someone offers to help they don't mean it though, do they? Well, that's a personal choice. But you've got to do that thing where you're like are you sure you want to help? Like it's going to be a lot

of heavy lifting and trailers and stuff. And then I'm like, oh, yeah, maybe that is a bit too hard for me. Yeah, but I know you, so I didn't give you the out. James, have you? Because I would have taken the out. What he's neglected to say is that he's hoping everything's packed up and ready to go because if he gets there and he has to pack everything, he's going to be really angry. Well, that's moving etiquette,

because I've had this in the past where I did help a friend move, and I turned up, and the flat was exactly like it has always been, and there was no pre-packing. And I was expected to help pack, and I was like, no, all the boxes have to be on the porch or garage ready to go. Yeah, the word was move, not pack. It's nice to know that the self-cleaning kitchen's been in good order and it's all tickety-based.

Okay, tickety-based. Well, can you just do us a favour, James, and just not pack? Unpack. Yeah, just unpack it. And live stream the whole thing. God, I'm roped into this, aren't I? I can't reverse a trailer, though. Oh, neither.

I can reverse a trailer, but I'm busy. Are you sure? What are you doing? I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm pretty sure I'm busy. No. Okay, I'm very happy to help you move house. Yay, thank you. That was a lie.

You're always falling into these lies he's telling. I would help you move house, but Fleets is going to be there. You're going to get me a good excuse. Yeah, yeah. But I want to know where you go with I'm pregnant. Oh, yeah. For the next however many months, that is your go-to excuse to get out of anything.

Yeah. Like Vaughan still uses the excuse, oh, no, I can't, the kids are sick. The kids, I've got a kid thing. I've got a thing with the kids. That's the best part about the kids. Oh, no, no, no. They're great, but that's a great part about them. But I wanted to talk now about those times when you made a hollow offer to your friends

and they actually took you up on it and you didn't mean it. And then you got roped into something. Do people actually do this? Do people actually do this? The economy of humanity is making offers that you have no intention of actually doing. Following through with. It's just to earn a bit of brownie points. But I don't make the offers just in case they say yes. I just don't say anything.

Because I was just hoping James would think I'm a good friend because I've said that I'll help. And that's all I needed to do. But now I've actually got to help him out, which is fine. But I want to know if anybody has ever been in this situation as well when they've made a hollow promise, and maybe it's been for something more than helping a friend move. Yeah. Like maybe you said, oh, yep, I'll be your surrogate,

and then you had to have their baby or something. Oh, my God. You've gone from giving up a couple of hours on the weekend to growing a human inside you. I don't think anyone does that as a hollow offer. No, no, no. You shouldn't be dancing around with that. I was looking for something and then I

saw you and I was like, Megan pregnant. Oh yeah, that's a good example. It was a terrible example. I'd imagine if you had like a trade it would be something like I could have a look at that for you. Like if someone could be like, I could have a look at that for you. Like, yep. Like if somebody had a car problem,

you could be like, I could have a look at that for you. And fully intended about it. No, no, no, no, no,

heck no, heck, I understand that this is, you know, this is your job. And graphic designers would go, oh, I'll help you with that.

And then end up doing like way more than they should. Oh no, they should never offer. For free. Graphic designers aren't that dumb. I know. All right, well,

give us a call. They know not to even mention their graphic designer. Oh, oh, 800 dials at M, you can text in as well. Graphic designers aren't that dumb. I know. All right, well, give us a call. They know not to even mention they're a graphic designer. 0800DARLS.M You can text in as well. 9696. When did somebody accept your hollow offer? There are so many people

who have made hollow offers and expected to be turned down or politely declined. No, no, no, no. It's fine. But then they've been roped into something far beyond. Yeah.

But it's my fault I shouldn't have offered. But again, it was a hollow offer. They should have picked up on that. But it's my fault I shouldn't have offered. But again, it was a hollow offer. They should have picked up on that. Well, no, no. You should have offered and you should have followed through

as it's a friend. Sarah, what was the hollow offer that you were taken up on? Oh, I foolishly ejected the Christmas dinner at my house. Oh, no.

Right. Your family Christmas dinner? No, the work Christmas dinner. Oh, no. No, no. You don't want those. No, no. Right. Your family Christmas dinner? No, the work Christmas dinner. Oh, no. No, no, no. Just tell them it's going to be alcohol free. And then they'll say, oh, we'll do it somewhere else. Yeah, they definitely might not want to do that.

Actually, you know what? I've got a bag of asbestos in my garage. I could bring that round to your house. Sprunk around the asbestos and you could say you've had a positive test for asbestos and you shouldn't be there. It's dangerous. She could probably just say that without actually having the asbestos.

No. No, you want to follow through on these things. Three days before, say we've had to go into a COVID lockdown into our house. Oh. Oh, yeah, just say you've got a sore throat or something. Just say we're evangelical.

We had a secret church meeting. We defied all orders because we thought that we were above science. There'd be a lot of coughing. Yeah, and then they'll have to find another venue, Leah. No, Sarah. Sarah, sorry. It's a great idea. Okay, all right.

Thanks, Sarah. We'll go to Leah now. This is why you can hence my confusion. Name's on the screen. Leah, you made a hollowed promise you were taking up on. Yes, I told my friend that if she ever needed picking up, no matter what time, she can call me. And then three times after that,

I get a call at 3 a.m. picking her up when she was drunk. Leah. Silly, silly Leah. No, put your phone on. I'm going to be a good friend. That is a good friend because you don't want your friend, you know, driving drunk or something. But they can Uber, surely. Can they Uber? Yeah, Leah. No, put your phone on do not disturb. I'm going to be a good friend. That is a good friend because you don't want your friend, you know, driving drunk or something. But they can Uber, surely.

Can they Uber? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, put your phone on do not disturb. Oh, my God, I was asleep. Are you okay? Yeah, but if they call through more than once, then they can get through. Oh, take a hint, Leah's friend. She doesn't want to get out of bed at 3 o'clock to drag your drunken ass through the McDonald's

truck on the way home. How much would it cost her to get an Uber versus what you... Like, probably $10. I'd almost reimburse her the $10. I'd give her $10. That's not a good price.

You've got to order the Uber on her behalf. Yeah, true. Leah, thanks, you're cool. Sandy, when did somebody take you up on your hollow offer? I had a great time last weekend. I got asked to drive a couple of trailers to the dump. Okay. So thinking that was all good, turned up, tow bar ready to go,

and we needed to weed the entire garden and empty the entire compost pile into the trailer to drive through the dump that's no that's not your responsibility you're the driver in the professional industry a piss tank yeah yeah it really is yeah oh sandy they're not only getting your time they're getting your labor as well yes Yes, that was for sure. Unbelievable. Were you scrubbing dirt from under your fingernails and you're just like... Brilliant. Sandy, thanks for your call.

I offered to be a ladies gardener. I thought it was a one-off, but now I've been doing it for a year or more now. I'm too scared to say no. I've got two jobs, no time, and about 30 rosebush cuts. Say no. But when you offer to be someone's gardener, that sounds like ongoing.

If you say, I'll pull your weeds one time. Wait, is this an old lady that can't do it anymore? I don't know. They're taking the piss. 30 roses. It's time to get rid of some roses. Again, start coughing. Say you're in isolation.

As a tradie, it's bloody tough to avoid offering to help people with jobs when you've been on the boozer. Then it hangs over you for like eight months, and then you begrudgingly do it. Yeah. Yeah, that's a few of those text messages coming in from tradies. On the opposite, I always offer to help my friends out and genuinely want to help them, but they never take me up on the offer.

Oh, you're useless. No, that means friends don't want to bother her. That's okay. I'm the useless friend. We've all got a useless friend. Who's our useless friend? That you wouldn't rely on. Well, no, my useless friend isn't any of you guys.

Because I thought the rule was if you don't know who the useless friend is, it's usually you. You are the useless friend. Probably. Yeah. That's probably fair to say. I'm okay. Then no one asks me for anything.

I will be useless and also unbothered on the weekends. What a wonderful trade-off. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. I said there was a health problem that was arising due to COVID-19, but you don't have to have had COVID for this to arise. I read an article just on COVID.

Italian researchers are inviting a lot of people back to, I don't know, poke and prod them and research them because they reckon half of people that have had it haven't fully recovered. Yeah, like really. Isn't that insane? A fix on your heart and on. Yeah, so I'm really glad we didn't just... Try for that immunity thing. Yeah, good Lord.

So dentists are apparently seeing an uptick in cracked teeth during COVID. And that's because stress, obviously, and other things cause people to have bruxism, which is teeth grinding. Bruxism, which is teeth grinding. Bruxism. Okay. When you are stressed and if you're prone to teeth grinding, apparently you do it more. Well, you know, I've just had a root canal and a crown. And the dentist said that to me. He said, do you grind your teeth a little bit? But I don't notice that I do that.

Right. Because some people wake up with sore jaws and headaches and it's really bad. Are you a grinder? A bad. Are you a grinder? A grinder? Are you a grinder? A grinder. A grinder.

Oh, the dentist said so. Is that an anxiety? Or can you grind and there's no anxiousness? I don't know because I used to do it when I was younger but I don't do it anymore. Because some people wear a retainer when they go to sleep. Like a mouth guard. Like you're on the hockey turf.

Stop, yeah. But could you imagine going to sleep with a retainer? I would be terrified I'd choke on it. Yeah, same. So someone said, at the beginning of the pandemic, I couldn't open my mouth for two weeks because I ground my teeth so hard, I got muscle spasms in my face. Oh, my God.

So, yeah, just the anxiety of it is... So dentists are just seeing a rise in this. And root canals and cracked teeth and crowns. Just, yeah, fractures. Wow. Because people are grinding and anxious. Bumping and grinding. Yeah.

Different. Not the fun kind. It's not like the day of the dirty grind, is it? No. It's the toothy grind. Everybody's least favourite grind. It's the toothy grind. Everybody's least favourite grind. It's the old school grind. The dirty grind in the club.

Yeah. The scary grind in the mouth. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Sade's doing a course at uni and that means Wednesday nights she goes and does that. Right. Now, she's like part-time doing this, isn't she? Is it just once a week?

Yeah. Does she get a student ID and do you get discounts on stuff yet? Good question. I haven't seen a student ID. Have you looked into that? Because there could be some money to be saved. Right. I had not looked into that.

But I will look into that. It's weird that you haven't looked into that because you do love a saving. But do you think you're like, where are you, are you talking like student fries or something? I don't, well it could be.

What if you get scoffed at for being an adult student? I wouldn't, I don't care, I wouldn't get scoffed. Don't you get discounts on clothes and like lots of things?

And like movie tickets, when you go to the movies, she's a couple of dollars cheaper. What? You need to sort this out. Oh, I don't know, I'm going to have to ask now, though.

Okay. Anyway, she went and I said, she drove down the driveway and it was just like, we were all kids and we were waiting for my dad to leave and she left and I was like, we're like listening. I couldn't hear the car anymore. Yeah. And I was like, you guys want a lot of fire? Oh my God. And they're like, what? I was like, yeah, so I want to light these. I want to light a fire. And they was like, you guys want to light a fire? Oh, my gosh. And they're like, what?

I was like, yeah, so I want to light a fire. And they were like, yeah, we'll light a fire. So we lit a fire and we sat around this. Like a campfire or were you burning rubbish? No, no, no, no. I've got all these sticks and I want to turn them into like ash fertilizer for the garden. Right. And I had this old like rubbish tin.

Yeah. Like Oscar the Grouch Lives in rubbish tin I don't even know Where I got it But I've had it for ages And it looks like Did you check

That there wasn't I checked that there was no Oscar Oh good Okay you don't want To burn Oscar alive But I looked And then I tipped it upside down And shook it

To make sure You know There was like Some sort of magical portal At the bottom Oscar would fall out But no Oscar And then we had a fire

And we sat beside the fire For a bit And then I was like Oh we gotta go eat So we went inside And had chicken nuggets Yes Dinner of champions

Chicken nuggets Mac and cheese Oh my god And just There were some vegetables But they Whenever mum was away Growing up

And dad was in charge Of cooking It was always something easy I just wanted them to eat it I was like What will you eat And they were like Chicken nuggets

I was like sweet Done All good Let's get the chicken them to eat it. I was like, what will you eat? And they were like, chicken nuggets. I was like, sweet. Done. All good. Let's get the chicken nuggets. Then they ate and I was like, if you finish your dinner, we'll roast some marshmallows.

Yes, I was going to ask. So then we had the fire going in the bin and... That sounds good. Fire going in the bin and we roasted some marshmallows over it

and after every marshmallow, I don't know why, but there was lots of high fives. I loved it. Don't get me wrong. There was so many high fives. It was like we were at like a youth group camp.

Okay. Like August was like, oh yeah, good marshmallow. High five. Boom. And we were talking about like marshmallow techniques. What's your,

just out of interest, what's your marshmallow technique? I kind of like a bit of charring, but the ideal would be like lightly browned and melty. Right. Always be turning. But you get impatient.

Always be turning. You always turn. Like a rotisserie situation. It's got a constant turn. You don't hover it and let that burn, then turn it. No, it's always be turning. Rotisserie situation. Also, make sure you're not burning wood that's like treated with chemicals.

No, that was, yeah, this was all natural wood. Good, that's good. Very important not to take the decking off cuts. You're H4 treated, pinus radiated, tread border board and cook over that because, yeah, no, you're right. There's some chemicals in there that wouldn't be good for you. This was all like cuts off trees and everything. Okay.

So we had marshmallows and high fives and then they were like, should we play a game of spotlight? And I was like, holy moly. Oh my God, this is youth camp. I haven't played a game of spotlight for a long time. Yeah. So I was like, yeah, let's play. Won that.

No surprise. But you know what my technique was? What? Just on the ground so they couldn't see you yeah because yeah we played in the paddock so you had to stand at a certain point and like scan for where you could find them and so I just laid flat on the ground right and one man like he was sneaking out of a prisoner of war camp yeah and then when the German advanced slightly and. Yeah, and then when the light went past, I'd advance slightly and then stop and then advance slightly. So there was like spotlight marshmallows. All of this on a Wednesday night.

Very adventurous. Yeah. I put up, on my Instagram, I put up a couple of photos of the marshmallows in the spotlight and people were like,

oh, great work. I watched this in front of my kids. I was like, oh, why? What's happening? They're like, no, now they want to play spotlight. I'm like, oh yeah, suckers. Climbed a tree for another, no, they want to play Spotlight. I'm like, oh, yeah, suckers.

Climbed a tree for another round of Spotlight 2. I got really high in the tree. You ever been really high in a tree and it's dark? Not for Asians. You are just a kid in a man's body. Very scary to be up there. We're making s'mores next time. Oh, okay.

Can I come up? But you know the trick to the s'mores? What? Is that you buy a chocolate thin. Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Can I come up? But you know the trick to the s'mores? What? Is that you buy a chocolate fin. Oh, yeah, okay. And then it's just marshmallow straight into a chocolate fin. So you don't have to bring the extra chocolate. Yeah, but I am aware that there might be trademark on s'mores, so we call them sticky little

bicky holes. Oh, a sticky little bicky holds the biscuit. You hold them, yeah. It holds the marshmallow, but we thought Sticky Little Bicky Holds was funnier. So that's what those are. That's what it's got.

To avoid the schmoors trademark. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. There is a rise in loneliness. We've heard this a lot because of COVID. Lots of people separated from their friends, even their family and stuff, and even partnerships are breaking up.

There is a psychotherapist who has been working for 20 years and she has said that they've never seen so many women and men who are unhappy and scared in their relationships and are turning to technology to give them, like, a dopamine hit. That's fire pro too. No, not even that. So she calls these people technosexuals. Okay.

And although it's not as creepy as it sounds, almost though, she said, so the bling of a text, swiping right or like hearing your smart service voice, so like your Alexa or whatever, gives you and fulfills you with dopamine and happiness. And so people are getting more from their smart devices than they are from their partners.

They're making them happier. And some people are a little bit aroused by Alexa. I beg your pardon? What? It's very similar. This release of a hormone is very similar to arousal.

And so that makes you a technosexual. Yeah. So you'd rather hang out with Alexa in your phone and do things on your phone that make you happy than do anything intimate in your relationship. I've got an Alexa, but I don't find it sexy. Do you when you talk to Alexa? I've never even considered it. But it's like, what was that movie?

She. She, where he fell in love with the robot. Yeah, that was Scarlett Johansson's voice. Now, if Alexa had Scarlett Johansson's voice, it might be a different situation. She's got a lovely voice. So I don't know if it's as simple as, like, falling in love

with your Alexa but it's, yeah, it releases dopamine. That makes you feel really good. Right. So I thought when you said technosexual I was imagining someone

making love to their Roomba. Right. No. But you're not, you're just saying people are getting a dopamine hit which is the same chemical that sexual arousal can release

from technical sources. Yeah. Like. And it's also, she's seen a massive rise in people who are great at screen chats, you know,

chatting online, but then have nothing. Isn't that all of us? That's just everybody. Yeah. Isn't that everybody 40 and under? ZM's Fletch,

Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. It's an intervention now for Megan. I don't need an intervention. Our close friend, our work colleague. Something is getting out of control. Hardly. I hate it.

I love this song. I know you do. I just saw your face. It's a good song. Your interest. It's a really good album. Picked. From a great human.

Harry Styles. Uh-huh. Megan. Yo. Yo. How many dreams... Three. Have you had...

At least three. With Harry Styles in them? So... We... because I hear him, we play him all the time. And I, like, look up the latest and I see lots of stories. So, I'm, like, bombarded with Harry. And then, like, we know that what we see during the day is what we dream about. So, I've had, I mean, the fact that it's a reoccurring dream is odd, but I've had this reoccurring dream where me and Harry are very good friends

and, like, really good mates, and I travel around with them and stuff. Yeah. And occasionally, like, we'll hold hands. Oh, my God. You are excited to get lost. No, like, occasionally. hold hands. Oh, my God. You are. You are. Like, now you get lost. No, like, occasionally.

Isn't that sort of holding hands? Like, we'll hold hands. Like, friends hold hands. But where are you? Just walking around, like, Paris or something? Yeah. Okay. Or at the beach?

Just hanging out, yeah. Okay. And in my dream, I'm like, it's happening. We're crossing the friendship line. Okay, you're busting out of the friendship zone. Yeah, he does like me. With Harry Styles. Yeah.

And that's like, but every time he kind of turns me down and says that we're just friends. What, are you leaning for a smooch and he's like, whoa, no, no, no. Darling, you misread this situation. I'm Harry Styles. and he's like, whoa, no, no, no. Darling, you misread this situation. Omari stalls. And I'm like, oh, okay. So like, yeah, I wake up and I'm like, oh, damn it. Has this been happening, this dream that's reoccurred,

has this been happening since you've been pregnant? Because you know being pregnant really messes with your dreams, eh? Yeah, I guess it has. Yeah. So I'm on sleepfoundation.org Yeah Many women find that their dreams change when pregnant Dreams can become more intense and vivid

And some women experience an increase in nightmares and dreams that involve anxiety Or the opposite end of it Well, you're anxious I'm anxious Yeah Yeah, my mouth's dry Your nightmare is that he turns you down again It's like even my subconscious doesn't let me just have a moment.

So in each of these dreams, how did you try to kiss him? So sometimes I try and kiss him or I try and bring up the conversation. If you should kiss him. No, like, what are we? Oh, my God. Do you tell your husband about your dreams? Producer, I was just like, are you okay? You crazy. Oh, my God. Do you tell your husband about your dreams? Producer, I was just like, are you okay? You crazy.

Oh, my God. What are we? The last one I had was so vivid. When I saw a picture of him online the next morning, I was like, oh, my God. Oh, no, that didn't happen. But do you ever like, in the dream, you can be like, oh, my God, this is a dream. And then you can control your dreams. Yes.

Oh God. So I woke up once and it was bright. We were holding hands and I woke up and I was like, go back to sleep. Oh yeah, yeah. I love delving back in. Come on. But then you try and control your dreams and it just doesn't work. Right.

I'm like, oh. Right. It's hormones apparently. Yeah, okay. It's changing the hormone levels, which affects the sleep rhythms, which then lends to new dream patterns.

Right. So that's why your dreams are maybe... I haven't told Andrew about this. So this nightmare... You're in so much trouble. I get in trouble

when Sade has a dream that I've done something bad and I wasn't even there for it. It was a dream. If I woke up and I was like, I just had the sexiest dream about somebody that's not you.

Well, I was angry at Harry Styles for denying me and I don't even know him. If I was Harry Styles, I'd get a restraining order on you just purely because. A preemptive strike. This is a preemptive, yeah, restraining order. Fletchvorna Megan, the podcast, ZM. It seems that 2020, albeit an absolute dumpster fire of a clusterfuck, that it has also been a year where Kiwis are getting their side hustle on. And I guess because they've been forced to, right?

Well, a lot of people, yeah. A lot of people, a lot of jobs just kind of dissolved when COVID hit town. The economy slowed down and everything. I mean, especially in the tourism sector. You think of people that would be absolutely involved right now in the peak of the winter season going into spring, into summer and everything. It's really quiet.

So it turns out that apparently one in five New Zealanders are thinking about or have started up or are trying out a side hustle. Okay. It's terrible that people, you know, obviously losing their jobs and stuff, but it's kind of cool that, like, there might be something that you've dreamed about for ages and you're like, well, this is my moment.

Yeah. I've got to do it. I've got to try it. Yeah, I've got to try it. This could, like, someone's dreams could come to absolute fruition. Yeah, because they've got the time on their hands to do it and maybe a bit more of an oomph to get going on it. But, yeah, 20% of people are trying to give it a go.

I mean, you would say, would you say that when you started the cafe, that was kind of a side hustle, right? Yeah, and that was always a dream of ours, but we thought we'd do it later. God, that was an expensive side hustle. Like, that's a very stressful and expensive side hustle. Yeah, yeah. But, yeah, it was a... But it's got to be your passion, right?

That's what makes the side hustle worth it when it's not making money at the start. You've got to be super passionate about it to make it work. Fletcher, peddling a side hustle? Nah. Too lazy. Laziness wins the end. Too lazy. Yeah.

I just honestly don't know what I could do. I really want to say something. No, I know. You can't do it because I can't do it either. What are your passions? What are you good at? Nothing. Oh, man.

This is awkward. Awkward, isn't it? Yeah, awkward. You're good at Belgian biscuits. Do you know what I can do? I can make those planes out of cans and sell them at the market. Well, not at Nelson Market. I wouldn't describe you as artsy or craftsy.

No offence, but on my side hustle before I've even started. Exactly, but it's not like you've ever shown an interest in it. That market's been covered in Nelson. Also, there's no market for planes made out of cans. Flooded market. It's not really something that's essential. Drop shipping, where you buy a thousand of these

sunglasses for like a dollar a pair and then you like give them a zhuzhi name and then you try to sell them for like a couple of hundred. See, I'm the kind of person that if I did that, I'd get end up going home and in my lounge there'd be a thousand pairs of sunglasses that I'm never going to sell. No, but drop shipping, you never

touch them. Oh, right. Okay. That's the beauty of it. That and you're a scummo who's selling people a rubbish product for a buck with a flash name on it. But isn't that everything online? Like it's all from AliExpress, right? A lot of it.

It's been marketed. A lot of it. I like that. In fact, you know what? Thinking about it, that New Zealand Made page that popped up during the first lockdown, and I think it's called Choice Now

on Facebook, and people are just constantly putting on there like, oh, you know, I've done this for a while and it's been a hobby, but now I'm building a website. That's so cool.

And I'm going to sell it online. And people are like, you know, we've had this cabin on our property and bugger it, we're going to try it as an accommodation. Right.

There's some amazing stuff on there of people giving it a good, giving it a good go. Well, I mean, I reckon if one in five people There must be somebody listening. have a side hustle go.

If we've got five listeners, one of them must be. Let's talk to that one listener. Oh, well, I'd love to take some calls. Yeah. Who's got a side hustle going at the moment?

And like, what is it? And how's it going? Yeah. Like you were like, maybe it was born out of calls. Yeah. Who's got a side hustle going at the moment? And like, what is it? And how's it going? Yeah. Like you were like, and maybe it was born out of lockdown. Yeah. Most of these are

because you were just stuck at home. You're like, well, I'll just give this a go. Out of lockdown, 20% of Kiwis across the country

have started a side hustle. Almost a quarter of those, according to stats based in Auckland, 21% are starting a secondary business, being held back because of tech expertise. 48% of these Kiwis

are millennials, 28% are millennials, and Gen Xers are 20%. So I guess people are just like, let's just try it. There are some companies that are doing free websites for small start-up businesses. When you said they're being held back by tech.

So yeah, definitely. Free websites. Yeah, for just small startup businesses after COVID. So definitely look into that. Do you have to leave your webcam on or something? That's the catch. That's the catch, yeah. Just trying to help people.

Weird. So we want to know if you are one of these 20% of New Zealanders That during lockdown Decided to start a side hustle Somebody said My mum has a side hustle Business coaching people Who want to start a side hustle

Wow See that's my kind of Side hustle Side hustlers You don't have to do much You just talk hey You're just like Do this

You just talk That's the secret of business You have to know What you're talking about though Oh yeah obviously Do this Yeah I'm not taking away You the secret of business. You have to know what you're talking about, though. Oh, yeah, obviously. Do this. Yeah, I'm not taking away, you know, because you've got to have the skills, don't you?

Yeah. Yeah, but that's the kind of thing that suits me. Right. Yeah, lots of people. It's cool. Somebody said, I don't know. This sounds like fun. I could do this.

I'm an adult gardener and I sell green plants to other adults. Oh. Well, you might be able to legally do that. Oh, but you won't be able to sell them. Oh, okay, right. You've caught on, have you there, Megan? There she is. Tegan, what's your side hustle? Hey, so during the lockdown

I pulled out a 40-year-old sewing machine and started sewing bows and now I have a full business doing it. And I've now moved on to bibs and, like, baby products, really. Oh, wow. Okay. And do you just sell them on, like, Facebook and stuff?

No, so I've got an actual website. Oh, wow. So I've got a Facebook and Instagram and a website. So, yeah. And how's business going? Oh, you know, like, Ste steady is obviously like a starting business, but for not touching a sewing machine for like 16 years, I think I'm doing pretty good.

Yeah. Did you have to Google how to get the thread from the top bit through all the bits and into the needle? No. It actually all just came back to me. Wow. Yeah. So what's your business name?

So I was called Bows and Bows, New Zealand, but I've now decided to rebrand because we're branching out to do other things to Bows to Toes. Bows to Toes, that's a cute name. Did you have to have an AGM to discuss the name change with the other board members? Oh, it's just me. No, I know, but that's what I'm saying,

is you could have gone out for lunch and claimed it was an AGM and then claimed it back through your business. Well, I'm currently sitting in the car having a coffee with my daughter so I can have a chat with her. Well, technically that coffee is a business expense. That's a business expense.

Vaughan Smith knows a bloody business expense. Let me tell you, Tegan. Vaughan Smith knows how to code a business expense. Hey! Hey, thanks for your call, Tegan. Lacey, is it Lacey? Lace. Lace, Lace.

What's your side hustle? So my side hustle, I make guest books for weddings, photo albums, yeah, wedding signage, glow lamps, all sorts of things. We call ourselves specialists in wood, really. All right, so it's all made out of things. We call ourselves specialists in wood, really. Alright, so it's all I made out of wood. Yeah, yep. It's all wood and it's all made here in New Zealand by us. Do you do, like,

folders or holders for wedding celebrants so they don't have to use those bloody plastic clear files? Oh, I can certainly look at that. Do every wedding celebrant, every wedding celebrant listening, do yourself a favour and get a nice folder to hold. No one wants to see your pink bloody clear file.

It's not classy. This is a wedding. Get in touch with Lace. Like they've literally just gone to Warehouse Stationery and got one of those. They couldn't even get a black leather one. Oh, no, Lace, you're worth it. Nice. Hey, thanks. You call Lace. Marie, what's your side hustle?

Hot sauce. You've just triggered Vaughan. Let's talk hot sauce. How hot, Marie? Super, super hot. So Carolina Reaper hot. Oh, okay. But what if I don't want to die today?

What have you got for me if I just want to spice up my sausage roll? I have a mild, well, not really mild, not normal people mild, but hot sauce people mild. Okay, what peppers in that one? Oh, God, I could talk about hot sauce. Trinidad scorpions. That just sounds like a really great range of peppers. Right, and did you just decide during lockdown,

I like hot sauce, I'm going to make hot sauce? Well, I've been quite, like, in love with chillies for a wee while, but I just saw a break in the market because there's no other female, like, super hot sauce makers, so. You're right. I was going to say, New Zealand does have this awesome culture around hot sauces, but I haven't seen

any female. Male-dominated. Male-dominated. It is very male-dominated, and I don't like that. Good on you. If you want to take a regretful poo sometime soon, where would they find your hot sauces? On Aftermath Hot Sauce. It's on Facebook, website.

Aftermath Hot Sauce. Literally the aftermath. Yeah, that's how the name came in. Deal with the aftermath. And do you take, do you include the female maid

in your branding and like marketing and stuff? Well, I do a lot of the pictures like with myself holding it. So, so yeah we're just looking at your labels now yeah those are it's very cool good you got a nice bottle too i reckon

that's a good one because you you ordered some hot sauce the other day didn't you i will yeah i got some hot sauces from um the other end of the country well Well, don't say. Ash Burden. Don't mention the competition. And probably made by men too, probably. Who was it? Who got men? Al's sources of Geraldine. He's my buddy. Oh, good.

Yep. Okay, let's... We're all good friends. That's the thing, it's not a cutthroat competition. No, it's not. We all help each other. There's a hot sauce community here. You're saying that everyone that makes hot sauce knows each other? Pretty much, yeah.

That's amazing. That's so good. That's pretty cute, isn't it? Is there a hot sauce Facebook group? You're also, hey guys, I've got a great recipe. Well, there is. There is New Zealand Chili Head. Amazing.

What a great side hustle. Marie, thanks. That's so cool. Vaughn will be placing an order. I, amazing. Wow. That is a great side hustle. Marie, thanks. You're cool. Vaude will be placing an order. I am literally right now. That's why I know. That's why you're somewhat distant from this conversation now. Online ordering.

Nikki, what's your side hustle? I've got a little product called a duvet dome. Is it like the shower dome? Shower dome. No, no, no condensation. Sorry for singing over you there. That gets a very catchy jingle, World on Shower Dome. Duvet dome.

Yeah, so a duvet dome is a little patch that you iron on. You iron one piece onto your duvet inner. Yeah. And the other one to the inside of your duvet cover. And you put it together so your duvet doesn't ripple around. Stay there. Piss off, Nikki. You've cracked it.

No, literally last night I was like, oh, God, the duvet slipped down again. I know, wasn't it a pain? But, Nikki, I'm not going to be able to feel this with my sensitive chin while I'm sleeping, am I? No, no. I've tried lots of different adhesives and all the different types of things

and we've got the perfect blend of nice organic cotton and large pieces. Nikki, Nikki, Nikki we've got the perfect blend of nice organic cotton. Wow. Lucky. Lucky, lucky. Now, how do I find you? I'm putting on a hot sauce order. Yeah, where do we get these? You get them online, so they're duvetdomes.com.

Okay. You've got a website.com, do you? You went to a com. Yeah, I'd go.com as well. It's a power move. Hey, you've got my duvet on your thing. It's mine to be. The same duvet.

It looks like the same duvet. How long have you been doing this for? It's something that I've been sort of planning for a while, but it wasn't until COVID hit that I was like, time to go. Look at you go. That is so cool, Nikki. Thank you. On, on, on.

Nikki, I'm going to need one of those as well. Okay. Louise, what's your side hustle? Hey, hey, my side hustle is making Harry Potter Hogwarts acceptance letters. Have you received a cease and desist from the J.K. Rowling estate yet? No, I have not. And I've made sure that I'm good to go. I just hit back with, stay away, transphobic.

Yeah, all right, Turf. What do you mean you've checked that you're good to go? Are you just different enough? Are they going to, like, Hogwarts? No, no, there's actually a lot of people that make them, but not in New Zealand. So I think I'm about the only one in New Zealand that makes them. And, yeah, I can personalise them,

or you can have the original one or, yeah. Wow. So this is, for people who don't know, in Harry Potter, when they turn 11, that's when they find out they're going to Hogwarts on their 11th birthday, a letter turns up, right? Exactly. Yep, the owl apparently delivers it to you. But I get a lot of orders from adults who are like,

I need to go to Hogwarts, give me my letter. That is so cool. That is so cute. Okay, well, we've mentioned everyone else's side hustle, but how do you get in touch, Louise? I've got a website, propweasel.co.nz, or we're on Facebook and Instagram just under Prop Weasel. This is so great.

I love all these side hustles. So brilliant, Louise. Thanks for your call. If somebody wants to know if we can give a shout-out to their OnlyFans. But they haven't put their OnlyFans in, so they must be waiting for us to say yes, and then a shout out to their OnlyFans But they haven't put their OnlyFans in So they must be waiting for us to say yes And then they'll send us their OnlyFans I mean

Do we get some sort of discount code? I think they should do a special Can you use the discount code on OnlyFans? I don't know I've got no idea There's so many side hustles This is awesome How many are you buying?

I don't want to poo Are you not going really really hot? Well. How many are you buying? I don't want to poo, Izzel. I don't want to, like, have a day of sex. Are you not going really, really hot? Well, I've got to now, don't I? Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Done. Hot sauce inbound. Today's fact of the day, it's all thanks to Save My Back End and it's your chance to win helping you borrow money online and growing your credit score at the same time. We're going to ask you a question about this fact of the day at midday and at four o'clock, if you can get through and correctly answer the question about this fact of the day at midday and at 4 o'clock, if you can get through and correctly answer the question about this fact, you win $500.

Also, right now, if you go to Save My Bacon's Instagram, Save My Bacon Official, an extra $500 up for grapes to win today on their Instagram. Today's fact of the day is about Pollyanna the reindeer. Okay. Who's Pollyanna? Pollyanna is a reindeer. Okay. Who's Pollyanna? Pollyanna is a reindeer. Okay.

In 1941, a British submarine was gifted a reindeer by the USSR Navy. In World War II, the Russians, the British, the Americans, they were all on the same side fighting the Germans. Yeah. The Italians and the Japanese. So it was a thank you from the Russian Royal Navy. They helped them out. Yeah.

And they were like, we've got a gift for you. It's reindeer, which is one of those gifts where you're like, oh, gee, thanks. Where are we going to put this reindeer? It wasn't for them to eat, was it? This is like, you know, when you go to a friend's birthday at like a restaurant or something and someone brings her just a giant present, like a 10-speed bicycle.

And then it's like, well, we're going out after this. What am I going to do with this 10-speed bicycle? Yeah. You know, like that's that. Thank you so much for the 10-speed bicycle. Also, it's not 1964. No one's riding a 10-speed bicycle. Are they?

What is that, two cogs at the front and five at the back? Look, I've got 21 gears and I use like two of them. I know. I knew someone with like 28 gears once. Yeah, it's too many. I was like, how many of those gears are you actually using though? Maybe the 10-speed, maybe you're right. Maybe all we need is a 10-speed.

Maybe we just need a simpler world, you know, where we only had a few gears on our bicycle. But what if they bought the bike to the party at the restaurant and they were like, here's your 10 speed bicycle. You'd be like,

oh, thanks. And they'll be like, I know, I see in your face that you're going to have to cart that around. Wow, look at this. Fold, fold, fold, fold, fold.

Now not only have I given you a bicycle, I've given you one of these ugly folding ones. Those ugly folding bicycles are the most hideous things in the world. And they're like,

the funny thing about it is it looks like a kid's bike with high handlebars and a big seat bar. And you're like, oh, jeez, thanks. And they're like, easy to carry around and 10 speeds. Anyway, when the Russians gave the British on the submarine the reindeer, they gave it a barrel of moss as well. And they said, the reindeer love the moss.

So the reindeer ate all the moss. And then they were like, well, it's eaten all the moss. And I would, not a lot of talk about the poo. Yeah. I thought that's where you were going. But there'd be a lot of poo. You've got a wild animal scooting around. Anyway, Pollyanna then got fed scraps.

And then, oopsie daisy, developed a taste for condensed milk, sweetened condensed milk. God, I love sweetened condensed milk. Because that was on, that was back in the day, that was the only way you could take preserved milk anywhere. It was sweetened condensed milk and you'd like put it in your coffee and stir it or you'd mix it with water and it would come out into milk. Imagine that now. Imagine mixing sweetened condensed milk with water to make a milk.

No, yuck. But that's what it was originally for. Now it's just for making lolly log. Exactly. That's the only reason anyone's got sweetened condensed milk in their house, is a lolly cake. So then she developed a taste for the sweetened condensed milk, and at the end of the stint, she was the mascot.

They loved her very much. But the vet said she was a little bit fat. Well, she'd been doing nothing but eating sweet and condensed milk straight out of a tin. Yeah. She then was gifted to a London zoo where she lived out the rest of the war. Apparently, so reports go, if she ever heard a siren,

like there were sirens in London during World War II, there was bombings and such, she'd hide. Aw, she's traumatised. She knew from her time on the submarine that that meant she had to get out of the way. Right. And there was about to be a bit of kerfuffle and panic. And she died five years later.

Ironically, the same year that the submarine that she had been on was scrapped. Oh, okay. So, today's fact of the day is in World War II, a reindeer was given as a gift to a submarine where it lived on sweetened condensed milk.

Fact of the day! Day, day, day, day! Day! Tay, Tay, Tay, Tay. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Shrek, green ogre guy, wears a vest, powers of the donkey, fell in love with the princess. We're all... They kept, what was that band? in love with the princess. They kept, what was that band?

Smash Mouth. Smash Mouth. They kept Smash Mouth. I was about to play Smash Mouth. You don't need to now. Well, no, but they've also been cancelled because they played at that super, did you read about the, you remember we talked about that festival?

The biker rally? Yeah, they played at that biker rally. They reckon that that rally over three days is responsible for 265,000 cases of coronavirus. And remember at the time, Smith and Shownth were like, if you COVID, and like, they didn't give a

no, and wore masks. So you're not going to play? No, don't give them credit. No, please. What about, what? We go now to our senior Shrek correspondent, Executive Intern Anya. What was another song off the Shrek soundtrack?

I'm a Believer. That was also Smash Mouth, wasn't it? Oh, another song. Oh. There was a Hallelujah, wasn't there? But like, that's a bit slow. No. A bit jazzy.

Come on, I thought you had that soundtrack on your go, on your favourites. Nah, I'm just a Smash Mouth gal. I'm not a Shrek gal. I thought you were a Shrek gal with a side plate of Smash Mouth. No, no, my boyfriend's a Shrek boy, but I'm not a Shrek gal. What is... Are you still a Smash Mouth gal?

Oh, yeah. Well, sans COVID conspiracies, yes. Right, okay. Well, Shrek is back in the news. The Baja Men had a song on the Shrek Central. It doesn't matter. Okay, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

We're talking. Somebody put up in the Epsom electorate, this is always a hotly talked about electorate in an election year because it's the one that ACT wins. Yeah. That opens the gate to ACT being in Parliament. David Seymour, you had a bit of a Twitter, you'd know, Instagram. Instagram stash with David.

Yeah, he tagged me in as we rant. We're best buddies. Smiley guy. That's what my daughters call him because they look like he's being forced to smile. It's like someone saying, smile, you better smile. And he's like, smiling in a dress. Well, he's got some competition. Yeah, because apparently Shrek is running for candidacy in the Epson electorate.

Three different billboards popped up. You can't spell progress without ogre. One of the campaign slogans. Fix the wreck, vote for Shrek, and peel the layers, drain the swamp. Billboards have been signed off. Because you know how they always have to like say at the bottom of electoral billboards. Signed off by the head of the

So and so. Yeah. So if you've got a problem with it right, that's who you talk to. Signed off by Honorable Shrek. Yeah. Yeah. So if you've got a problem with it, right, that's who you talk to. Yeah. It was signed off by Honorable Shrek. Shrek MP. Now there was three of them and apparently now they've all been taken down. Boo. Boo. Let there be fun and games.

Do you think that was just a sign writer that was having a laugh? I do like when sign writers have a laugh. Because your dad's a sign writer. Yeah. I don't know if he still does. He used to put up those hoardings. But he said that there's a lot of rules around them. Yeah.

There are. Very strict on when they can go up and when they can be taken down. They have to be taken down. They have to be taken down by election day, right? And even like font size and stuff can't be too small. So for people driving past, they have to be able to read it. Lots of like. Is that a design thing or is that a rule? That's a rule.

Wow. Yeah. Huh. There's lots of little weird things like that. Right. Okay. I don't know who polices them, but they must be pretty swift if they've already got the Shrek signs. Pulled them down. David Seymour probably saw some, probably saw it as a threat. He didn't want to be taken

down by Shrek, so he probably got his team to... He was like, who's this other likable non-human? We can't split the non-human vote. I'm pretty bad at small talk. You're not a fan of small talk, Vaughn. Nah. I feel like... That's it, yeah. A lot of people get, like, I get quite anxious with the small talk Vaughan. Nah. I feel like that's it yeah.

A lot of people get like I get quite anxious with the small talk because I have to like talk and have an internal monologue being like they just ask you a question

ask it back. How was your day? How was your day? Damn it answer and then ask it back. The weather is cloudy. Yeah.

I've even stopped with people like hey mate how are you? I'm like yep good because if you mate, how are you? I'm like, yep, good. Because if you just pass and then if I'm like, good, mate, how are you? Too much. And then they go, good. We're walking.

Well, no one wants to stop and talk. It's just ships passing in the night. Well, it could be due to COVID. It could just be because we don't like it. We're an anxious bunch. But small talk is dying. We're doing it less and less. And, like, I initially was like, oh, who cares? I don't like it. We're an anxious bunch. But small talk is dying. We're doing it less and less. And like I initially was like,

oh, who cares? I don't like it. Yeah, that's kind of what I think too. It is a problem. The death of small talk is not good because lots of doctors have said this is how we become skilled at interpreting human emotions.

Is small talk with people outside of our friend group, with strangers. Yeah. That's how we, it's like socialising your dog at puppy school. That's how we learn human emotions and human interactions. Because I wonder that like with so many people working from home

and they're like, oh, is this like the new big change? Everyone's going to work from home and not go into an office. Like how are you going to like read people and do, and they're like, oh. Because everything's over like technology. It's not the same. They're even like, oh, maybe, you know, business people won't go overseas now and do business. It's like, well, how do you do a deal when you can't like be right next to someone? Because you can really get a feel for someone eye to eye.

And part of So much of business is having those social dinners or like catch up so you can create some sort of bond you know and get a feel

for the person rather than just sending emails. That's what we're losing. But even a bit of small talk you get to kind of suss the person out. Yeah so they're saying

even down to like if you're waiting in line at a cafe and you're like those donuts look good and they're like yeah they do. Just like a shed. Oh no. I would be like, yeah, they do. Just like a shared-

Oh no, I would be like, why is this stranger talking to me? Oh, I always have little bants with, that's easy because there's something to talk about. You know, like about something in line at a cafe or whatever or line at the supermarket. You're like, oh, a little chalky.

Oh yeah, that little banter. What, you're in line at the supermarket. You're like, huh, there's a crunchy bar. I've had like real cute chats in the line at the supermarket and you're like, huh, there's a crunchy bar. I've had like real cute chats in the line at the supermarket with people. But apparently that validates your preferences. It can boost your self-esteem

and feed your sense of belonging. The small talk. So we need to do it more often. Right. It's a nice day outside. No, it's not. It's cloudy. It's not as good as yesterday. Or the day's a nice day outside. No, it's not. It's cloudy. It's not as good as yesterday.

Or the day before was better than that. Oh, you can't just bring negativity. You've got to, like, bring a little. Good to know he said it's a nice day outside, and I'm telling him he's not. He's got to pinpoint his small talk a little bit better. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZDM's Bree and Clint a listen too?

Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hit music lives here. ZM.