ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 11th December 2020

Episode Date: December 10, 2020

Ellen's on Struggle Street  Top 6: Crimes for 9 year olds  Shitty Christmas Bonuses  12 Days of Fletchmas!  Vaughans Waterblasting  How did you let someone know it was time to pop the question?  Poll-y Moly: Christmas Party Edition  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleeche, Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. I can't hear you. Oh, no, I can now. It's as I was saying. It was my button, sorry. I can't hear you. Megan, just turn your headphones on.

It's thanks to McCafe. Download the Maccas app to get McCafe rewards today. Now, it's just you and I, Megan, because Vaughan, a little behind the scenes, you's just you and I, Megan, because Vaughn a little behind the scenes, you'd never have noticed listening, but Vaughn snuck off to a prize giving. A little bit early. For his overachieving children.

Are they actually getting prizes? Yeah, apparently. So that's why he snuck off for the last two breaks of the show, but nobody noticed. But a smoke and mirrors there. Did your parents ever go to any school things for you? Because you never won anything either, did you? Excuse me, I won that award that was the potential to make a difference. I don't know if they went though.

That was my question. It's like when I did this speech at my college this year, the commencement speech thing, they came and afterwards I was like, was that all right? And they were like, yeah, it was good. That was their feedback. That's as much as you're getting out of a boomer, to be honest. Yeah.

They didn't have any negative feedback, so I took that as a positive. Well, because they would have said that if there was any. Yeah. They would have said that. Yeah. Which is nice. So you're born, so apparently they're getting prizes. Yeah.

So good. Both of them? Because like, Indies are given. Yeah. Yes, apparently both are. So fantastic. Yeah. Yes, apparently both are. So fantastic, fantastic. Good morning. Welcome to the show.

Fletch, Fawn and Megan, happy Friday. Hello. Do you think anybody will be finishing work for the year? Maybe. Lazy people. Lazy people. Not shouldering the economy. That's just because you have to work another week.

Yeah. Yeah, I think most people will be off next week, eh? Yeah. It's two weeks today till Christmas. Not next Friday, the Friday after. That's right, it is too. Yeah. Well, well, well.

Well, well, well, well, well, well, well. Whose Friday flashback is it today? It's mine, I think. It's Warn's because remember last week I did that song. Nah. I don't remember. I remember you doing a song, but I don't remember what song it was. And it was a banger.

It was an absolute banger. Venga Boys. Venga Boys. I did the Venga Boys. We're going to Ibiza. Yeah. That's right. Because we talked to James Boys. We're going to Ibiza. Yeah. That's right. Because we talked to James Blunt, who was living in Ibiza.

There we go. Good memory, guys. What a great guy. He was a great top man. I would say a phenomenally memorable interview. I'll always remember it. Charming fella. Great teeth.

Hadn't aged. Yep. Top bloke. No, he hadn't aged. He hadn't aged. But he's in Ibiza, so maybe that's a secret. Pingas. Next year, the show from Ibiza?

Microdosing pingas. Sure. Are the top sixes coming up? I've forgotten. I don't think you need to be microdosing anything. Oh, the top six crimes I'd get away with if I got my nine-year-old to do them. Because, you know,

we talked about it the other day. The nine-year-old drove dad down to the pub on crate day. Yeah. And got caught. Got caught.

No one's in trouble. The dad's not getting any charges. The perfect crime. Yeah. Use a nine-year-old. I'm going to have a nine-year-old in February.

I don't know if that's the magical age or an eight-year-old will get you away with more. Because I've got a six-year-old in February. I don't know if that's the magical age or an 8-year-old will get you away with more. There's got to be a 6-year-old too. Mind you, I think she'd swear at the police. She'd end up getting pepper sprayed. We'd all get bloody tasered.

She was leading the crime charge. So I've got the top six crimes you get away with if you use your 9-year-old. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Well, an airline boss, the boss of Russia's budget airline, biggest budget airline.

What do you think that's called? Like a Jetstar or a Ryanair, an easy jet. Budget air. Comrade air. No. Rusty. What's Russian for budget? P-O-B-E-D-A. P-O-B-E-D-A.

P-O-B-E-D-A. P-O-B-E-D-A. P-O-B-E-D-A. I don't know. Is that how you say that? P-O-B-E-D-A. Arrow. Yeah, I think so.

Okay. Well, anyway, he's been fired because he changed violated safety measures and changed the route of a Moscow flight on the 11th of November. And you may have seen quite a few people do this online. There's the flight plan. He ordered the low-cost jet to draw diddling balls in the sky. A CMB. I've seen better CMBs.

Well, this is also a passenger airline. Right. The balls had to be quite big because you can't arc too hard. But the balls are very round and perfect. Normally, when you see these kind of stories, it's like a flight, a little

plane, like a flight school. Or someone with a private little Cessna or something. What size is that? It's not a flight, a little plane, like a flight school or someone with a private little Cessna or something. What size is that? It's not a passenger plane. Do you remember when the Qantas plane flew the kangaroo? Yeah. That was cute. That was pretty cool.

That was a big Qantas plane. That wasn't little. It doesn't say what size the plane is here, but it was a jet. Right. Yeah. Pobeda means victory in Russian. Right. 102 people on board.

So it would have been like a, I don't know, a 737 or an A320. Right. They would have wasted a bit of time in their flight. I know. You'd be like, can we fly over there on the last ball? Weird. He's done two perfectly round circles in the sky. Yeah, so I don't know if he was trying to just get some publicity, do a stunt.

Oosh. But yeah. I just looked up Russia's COVID. Oh, okay. So back in May when it was kind of everyone was peaking, they were getting 11,000 new cases a day. Last week, 28,700 new cases a day. Wow.

So yeah, they've really jumped in boots and all lately. Should they be flying together on a passenger jet at all? They've had two and a half million cases. Probably not, no. Wow. But still, yeah, wow, okay, so I, because I was just thinking, was that going international or was it just domestic flights? No, just domestic,

yeah, 11th of November. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. So Ellen, earlier this week, it came out that she bought herself a $69 million mansion because she didn't want to live in that $43 million prison anymore. Yeah, poverty. Poverty. And then I saw a couple of days ago,

she's bought herself a brand new Land Rover Defender, which I think was $85,000 US. Is that the one that you test drove and you wrote the big article for The Driven? Great car. I that the one that you test drove and you wrote the big article for the Driven? Great car. I'll have one. If she's sick of it I'll... You'll take it over? I'll have it. She's just absolutely showering herself

with Christmas presents to make herself feel better because she's struggling. I'll have you know that the 18th season of Ellen, which is the one that's airing now, is struggling to get guests, celebrity guests, and they're struggling to attract advertisers after a pretty negative year of headlines.

She yelled at everybody. Yeah. Because doesn't she do a new segment where she gets the producers on and she's like, look, guys, we like each other. They're lovely. This is so-and-so and they do this and we're all friends. And they are great and I am friends. It's so transparent what's happening and awkward.

Yeah. Even the celebrity she has had on this season, I mean, I don't want you to see the news stories pop up with interviews. I'm still amazed that they've gone on the show. I would have thought celebrities would have either given it a bit of time or just completely boycotted her. I was looking at a list of who's been on. Tiffany Haddish went on. Kerry Washington,

Alec Baldwin, Chris Jenner. But it has kind of fizzled out a wee bit. Amy Schumer was on. Jason Sudeikis. Are they her friends? They, yeah. Right, okay. A lot of them are her friends. But when you look at the list, like I'm scrolling through a lot of episodes here.

Yeah. There's not a huge amount of big celebrity names. In this season, yeah. Some episodes, I don't even know who the guests are. Oh, wow. That would never happen before. No. And apparently she and the older producers have been going to the younger producers being like,

how do we make this relevant? Who do we get on? Is there some like TikTokers or... Oh, really? We need to get eyes on this show. But yeah, struggling to get advertisers even. So I don't know if we're going to get a... Not the best time to be buying a 70 something million dollar mansion, is it? Well, she's getting in while she's got the money.

I've got the feeling she's not going to run out of money That's just a feeling Just a feeling Even if the show stops I think she might have some Yeah she's got some Stashed away She's got some

Kiwi saver Yeah Oh yeah she'll be able to Yeah dip into that She's not blowing it all on shoes Because she's always just wearing A comfortable pair of sneakers Sneakers

She's You're right yeah You know you hear Alton John's like I can't stop touring I wouldn't be able to find my glasses And he's so over the top and extravagant But Ellen's pretty much the opposite Yeah

Apart from the mansion I don't think she's getting it from Getting her close from Kmart or anything No, yeah Yeah She'll be fine. Yeah. Yeah, she'll be all right.

Fleshfawner Megan, the podcast, ZM. From the smoggy ZM think tank, this is the top six. Good morning. The father whose nine-year-old drove him down to get more booze on crate day, He's 32, the son, nine. They've just, no one's got any like serious charges. It's just been a telling off. They've received a police warning.

Because I'm guessing it's like a legal grey area, right? Well, it's a minor. You could charge the nine-year-old, but technically his dad probably made him do it. Yeah. Or facilitated him doing it. Yeah, there's no point going down that road. But then what?

Could the adult actually be charged with anything? Well, he didn't do it. Yeah, exactly. Like, isn't it bizarre? Making your kid do something illegal? Putting them in danger? Is there a law? They've taken into account all the circumstances

and have decided to warn the father. The man will be referred to undertake an alcohol and parenting course. Oh, okay, so he has to go to a parenting course. Now, why is everyone here? I'd be like, I'll just do jail for two weeks. A bit like an isolation facility. Can my lady take my PlayStation to jail? No.

Okay, parenting course then. Well, I've got the top six other crimes you'll get away with if your nine-year-old does them for you. Isolation facility. Can my lady take my PlayStation to jail? No. Okay. Parenting calls then. Well, I've got the top six other crimes you'll get away with if your nine-year-old does them for you. Okay. Number six on the list, conspiracy to overthrow a government. Okay. I don't know what you're talking about. It was my nine-year-old.

My nine-year-old started the Facebook page. My nine-year-old started the group. My nine-year-old went on the dark web to look for weapons. That was not me. That was my nine-year-old went on the dark web to look for weapons. That was not me. That was my nine-year-old. Did you see Pfizer vaccines on the dark web? Yeah. You can buy it?

Like little vials of it? And they got hacked. The Pfizer servers got hacked, so people have all the recipes. There's 11 secret herbs and spices. Right, but people think they've got it. One of them's cardamom. People think they can make it with the spices in their kitchen. Good luck with that.

Number five on the list of the top six crimes you'll get away with if your nine-year-old does it for you are tax evasion. Yeah. The IRD come knocking, you're like, you'll have to talk to my accountant. Hello! I use a calculator, and if I turn it this way it's got lots more buttons.

I don't know what they do though. Great idea. So you could set your nine year old up a business and funnel all the money and not pay the tax through it and they'd be the ones to get in trouble but then they wouldn't because they're nine. Foolproof. You pretty much described how dairy farmers send their kids to university

and still get in the grants. Yes. Oh, we're poor. Oh, we don't have any money. It's all in this terrible family trust that we'll all benefit off one day. No, yes, my nine-year-old did raise and sell all that stock by themselves, so they are fully entitled to the money made from selling that stock. There are dairy farmers, right, and stock people right now being like,

hey, stop talking there, fella. Shut up. Hey, why don't you shut your mouth or you'll end up with a cow's head in your bed. The dairy mafia. Number four on the list of the top six crimes you'll get away with if a nine-year-old does it for you. An oil rig spill. Oh, yeah.

Remember when your nine-year-old was in for you. An oil rig spill. Oh, yeah. Remember when your nine-year-old was in charge of that oil rig and it had an issue and it leaked billions of litres of crude oil into the Gulf of Mexico? Yeah. I'm weary, sorry. I didn't mean to make my big old mess.

I'm going to tidy it up best I can. Aw. They mean it because they're a kid. Number three on the list of the top six crimes you'll get away with if your nine-year-old does it for you are driving in the bus lane. Oh, yeah. Yeah. How's a nine-year-old going to pay a $150 fine?

I was pretending to drive a bus. I am a bus. Toot, toot. Also, if you've met a nine-year-old, I'm talking like a four-year-old, not a nine-year-old. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six crimes you get away with if your nine-year-old does it, graffiti. Say it's an art project.

They're expressing themselves. What, are you trying to suppress a child's feelings? Yeah. Do you know how dangerous that is? In years to come, they'll be charging you, the New Zealand police, with their therapy bill if you crush their love for the arts and expressionism. We've got some graffiti on our street that's gone up this week.

What does it say? Just scribble. It's just like a signature tag. It's just a tag. Right. Yeah, so I got out my red can and just put a line through it, so I'm starting war. Is that what you do?

Apparently. I remember that. Remember there was a survey of the warring factions. Yeah. You'd put a target on the other tagger's tags. Yeah.

But then I think gangs were like, why are we tagging? We should just be selling more meth. Yeah. And they're like, ah, yeah, that's right.

Oh, yeah, right. We were drawing unnecessary attention to ourselves. And number one on the list of the top six crimes you'll get away with if your nine-year-old does it, collapsing an economy. I, uh, mom, dad, I accidentally twigged a large decline in house prices

after the collapse of a housing bubble, leading to mortgage delinquencies, foreclosures, and the devaluation of house-related securities. They should be pretty proud if they spat that sentence out. Yeah, they'd be like, what did you do? So balanced. God, is this your homework now?

No, I think your mother-in-law got a struggle. Oh, Google. Karen, you read out to me what I've got to Google. We'll solve this financial crisis via homework. It's just homework again,

isn't it? Yep, good. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Netflix has released their most popular watches. New Zealand's most popular TV shows, movies. It's broken down into genre.

Okay. So I can tell you the most popular documentary. Tiger King. Yeah. Yep, without a doubt. Near the start of the year, everyone loved a bit of Tiger King. We're still a little bit obsessed. Their favourite New Zealanders' favourite Netflix film.

Is this in genre or just all up? It says overall. Chris Hemsworth, Extraction. That is our favourite action. Okay, so favourite movie overall. Not broken down by my genre. Favourite movie. I was just trying to think that's the... Because that was one of the biggest for Netflix worldwide, So favorite movie overall? Not broken down by my genre. Favorite movie? I was just trying to think that's the...

Because that was one of the biggest for Netflix worldwide, that Chris Hemsworth extraction. The biggest movie. I guess. Netflix is really... I think we've talked about this, but Netflix is really clever with movies like that with Chris Hemsworth. They put Chris Hemsworth in.

Yep. They put the other guy in it, the main actor, the main Indian actor, is massive in India. Oh, yeah. So they didn't just like nail a big Western star. They also brought in

pretty much a billion possible people from India who know who that guy is from his Indian film career. So then they get the Eastern and the Western buy-in. And it was the same with Six Underground or whatever,

that Ryan Reynolds movie that was on there. They made a big thing. There was a French person and a Chinese actress and people from all around the world. So they get, oh, that's my local star. You get to buy in from that. Are you saying we should get a Bollywood star on the show? I'm not opposed. Just to expand

into other markets. Yeah. Brilliant. Definitely. 2021. No, technically it's technically it's a documentary. It falls under the documentary. Oh, what about the octopus? Is it the octopus?

Oh, no. No, it's not the octopus, but that's so good. Have you watched that yet? Yeah. It's a great doco. Oh, the social one. The social dilemma.

Oh, yep. Okay. Yes. Has that affected any way that you do anything? Nah, because I was already that cynical and I knew, I kind of knew that anyway. The one thing I remember from that movie is when they said, when you go on YouTube, don't go to their suggested searches.

Always search your own thing. So even if I see what I want to watch in the suggested, I'll search it because I'm like that watching. Why? Because I don't know. It's like, it helps with the algorithm of what you like. I don't know why. It's just the one thing I remember. So I always search now.

I don't think that matters. Because I don't want them to know me too well. You're doing your part to take down the establishment, man. I know. Comedy and the comedy genre. Holidayte, which has only been released like in the past few weeks. That's the Emma Roberts. Oh, that looks horrible.

Yeah, but it's not really up your alley. Holidayte. And Emily in Paris was the Lily Collins series, which you wouldn't have watched either. What was the Ricky Gervais? I would have thought that would have been up there. Afterlife. Afterlife season two came out in lockdown, didn't it?

That was good. That's true. Then we go to reality TV. Too Hot to Handle was what New Zealand couldn't get enough of this year. What was that one? Bit of Harry Jowsey. That's where they had to abstain from physical and sexual contact to keep them in the running for the 100K.

We have romance. We loved Christmas romance movies. The Princess Switch. And Vanessa Hudgens. Switched again. Wow, okay. There's three Vanessa Hudgenses. There's three of them.

And Dash and Lily. Fletcher's just like, people have terrible taste. They do have terrible taste. No, absolutely not. One I watched recently under kids, the SpongeBob movie, Sponge on the Run is the most popular. Sponge on the Run. Really?

Mm-hmm. Now horror, Haunting of Bly Manor. I haven't seen that because I loved Haunting of... Is it out? The first one. Yeah. It's been out for months. I didn't know it was out.

Yes. It's a chick that sounds like Peppa Pig. Oh, right. I thought that was just a trailer that we got Peppa Pig's voice off. So that was series. And in terms of movies, Ghosts of War was under horror. I've never even heard of that. Haven't seen that, no.

Yeah, action was Chris Hemsworth. Extraction. Out of these, I'm just laughing because Fletcher, you wouldn't have watched anything other than like Tiger King, right? No, I watched Extraction and the doco, the social one. Oh, the social doco. Yeah. Well, there's some for your list.

You can watch Holiday, the Emma Roberts. Absolutely not. You can catch up on Too Hot to Handle. It's still there. I was just about to say, you might like this Ghosts of War. I've just looked it up. It says five battle-hardened American soldiers

are assigned to hold a French chateau near the end of World War II. This is right up your alley. This sounds right up my alley because, you know, I love World War II stuff. However, they encounter a supernatural enemy far more terrifying than anything seen in the battlefield. Oh, load of rubbish. Fleshfauna Megan, the podcast, ZM.

Nigella Lawson's been in the news. After she went viral, she was doing a cooking show and she pronounced microwave a little bit differently. But I still need a bit of milk, full fat, which I've warmed in the microwave. And everyone was like, she doesn't know how to say microwave. She's a chef. She was. And we said at the time, yesterday or the day before, she's obviously being silly.

Yeah. It's just a silly joke. She before, she's obviously being silly. Yeah. It's just a silly joke. She's probably already always called it that. Yeah. So a lot of tweets were directed her way. A lot of people saying that's how they say it from now on. That's the angle I'm taking. Yeah.

I'm only going to pronounce it Mikro Wabe again. Now someone else said, am I the only one that thought Nigella was being sarcastic when she pronounced mikroave? Now I'm starting to think she really pronounces it like that. Was tagged in

and Nigella replied to this tweet and said well I do say it like that but not because I think that's how it's actually pronounced. And I can just imagine

her saying that and like rolling her eyes. It is how I say it but it's not because I think that's actually how it's pronounced. Now stick your finger in your cake batter and lick it. She also said, can this be the end of it now?

So I feel like we're all getting a little telling off. Can this be the end of it now? Oh, yes. I think we've all had enough fun, children. She's had enough. She went on and someone said. Mommy's going to eat some shortbread. Okay.

Someone said, but why do you say it like that, Nagella? Then went on to say they're a big fan of all this. I'm Nagella Lawson, bitch. No criticism and just wondering. And she said, I don't know. It was a camp joke that becomes a habit. Yeah, it was funny. It was fun.

Yeah, I liked it. She's having some fun in the kitchen. It's good. So we'll always be known now as. As the Microwave. Brilliant. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the known now as... As the Microwave. Brilliant. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A boss in the UK, he celebrated his 74th...

No, he celebrated, sorry, he celebrated by giving his birthday and Christmas, by giving 74 of his employees the right to instantly call themselves millionaires. Oh my God. He gave them all a million dollars? No, he gave them a million dollars worth of shares in the company. So they've got a million dollars worth of shares. So even in a couple of years, they could be like worth way more. It could be like a multi-million dollar retirement scheme when they do.

He invested for them. Yeah. So he's a manager of a company called The Hut Group. Yeah. So he's a manager of a company called The Hut Group. Yeah. It's what's described as a retail powerhouse that sells its own beauty and health products through 200 websites. Woo. And he's given away a billion dollars worth of shares. It's worth multi-billion dollars. He's estimated to be worth five billion pounds.

Australian, nine billion. So Australian, £9 billion. So yeah, like $11 billion New Zealand dollars. And yeah, he just wanted to reward his hardworking staff. He did like a shares. It sounds like a lottery, like you had to enter it. And then of all the employees, a whole bunch of them got these huge share portfolios. Have you looking up the half group?

I'm looking up its companies, yeah. Just heaps of online stuff and makeup and... That's kind of more responsible than giving me a million dollars because... You could fritter it away, couldn't you? Or you could cash the shares in straight away and you'd be a millionaire. Yeah, I'd probably do that. He's an old rip dude.

He's one of those old rip dudes that spends heaps of time without a shirt on and heaps of time surrounded by casino promo girls and really big bottles of wine. That's a really good description. I've got a perfect image in my head. Everybody can imagine that. Magnums.

Those are those big bottles of champagne, right? Yeah. Good on him though because a lot of these Imagine that, yeah. Magnums. Magnums. Those are those big bottles of champagne, right? Yeah. Yeah. Good on them, though, because, I mean, you know, a lot of these billionaires just keep it, don't they? And what good's that doing you? How much money do you need? Yeah, I always wonder that.

And appreciate the little people that are helping you out and getting you the money. Yeah. So that's going to make everybody else's Christmas bonuses look a little average. So at the other end of the scale, we were wondering, what's the worst Christmas bonus you've received? Like, so much so that maybe even you got it and you were like,

I just wouldn't have bothered. Yeah, it might not have been a financial, it could be a gift. Because that, I mean, any money's helpful, right? At this time of the year, this right? At this time of the year. Oh, absolutely, yeah. This is a financially stressful time of the year. But if your company, I don't know, makes something that you could probably get at work anyway

and then they decided to give you one for Christmas. No, like a company's not giving you something free from work, are they? That doesn't count. Heaps of companies do that. Really? Yeah, yeah, heaps of companies do that. Especially, I mean, that'd be good if, yeah. Heaps of companies do that. Especially, wouldn't that be good if your company made money?

Made like the nodes. Sweet. We used to get a Christmas ham every Christmas. And like, that sounds stupid, but they were decent hams. I love the hams.

Yeah. And then you'd be like, mum, you don't need to buy ham. I'm bringing the ham. You feel like a big kid, hey mum, have you bought a Christmas ham yet?

She's like, no, I was going to get it this weekend. Well, you don't need it because I'm going to bring a Christmas ham because I'm bringing the ham. You feel like a big kid, eh? Yeah, yeah. Hey mum, have you brought a Christmas ham? She's like, no, I was going to get it this weekend. Well, you don't need it because I'm going to bring a Christmas ham because I'm a big boy now. I'm providing for my family now. I got this. Yeah. And your mum's like, look at my big boy bringing home a Christmas ham. Isn't he

growing up? He's obviously doing well for himself at work, isn't he? Is that what was Krista impressed the first time you brought home a ham? Yeah, well, she didn't have to get the ham. Took something off her plate. See, that's not a bad Christmas bonus. No. Just a ham.

Practical. We want to open up the phone line this morning. What was your shitty Christmas bonus gift? Maybe you were just like, yeah, like you were saying, just, why'd you bother? Like three pens from work. were just like, yeah, like you were saying, just, why'd you bother? Like three pens from work. Anyway. Eh. Thanks. Well, maybe it was just a box

of chocolates, but then that's still, I wouldn't be too fussed at that. Yeah, I mean. Because I like chocolates. Better than nothing. At least they're Australian chocolates. Yeah, they need to buck up their ideas. Like, don't bother. Just don't get me chocolates. Yeah. they need to buck up their ideas. Like, don't bother. Just don't get me chocolates. Yeah.

A boss in the UK has given staff a million dollars of shares in the company. Each. Yeah. Wow. So we want to know, at the other end of the spectrum, what's your worst gift from work where you're like, I don't know, you shouldn't have bothered. Your worst Christmas bonus.

Yeah. Hearing some stories through that are making bothered. Your worst Christmas bonus. Yeah. Hearing some stories through that are making me feel a bit better now. Yeah. Somebody messaged in, I got given a company calendar

and a bumper sticker for the company one year. I was like, yeah, I know where I work. That's cool. Why'd you bother? Jalen, what did you get

for a Christmas bonus? One of those crackers that you have in Christmas. Yeah. And then the boss lined us all up, gave us one, and said whatever's inside it is all yours. I opened my one, and it was one of those parachute guides. Oh, so he didn't stuff little things into the cracker

and, like, shuffle them around so there were actual bonuses. That was just the shitty plastic toy, though, was in there? Yeah. Wow. We're just the shitty plastic toy, though, was in there? Yeah. Wow. We're just like, cool. He was just real excited because he liked the noise when it cracked open. Oh, my.

What is he, five? Wait, so he was giving one between two? No, so we all got one each. There was like 11 of us. And then we all opened it like excited, like, oh, it might be money or vouchers or whatever. And then to find out it was just one of those stupid parachute guys. Yeah, and every time it popped, we'll say like,

hee hee hee, I love that noise, next. Yeah. Oh my God, that is so funny. That is horrible. I would have felt better about him if he just didn't give me anything. Yeah, if I had seen that no one was getting actual bonuses, I would have refused to pull the cracker. I know.

Yeah. I would have just slid the thing at the end and said, no, there'll be no bang today. Exactly. Hey, thanks. You're cool. Dee, what was your Christmas bonus? We got a $20 voucher for the company we worked for.

Cheeky. Is that some kind of tax thing as well? Would they be? It feels like it like I don't know But you couldn't even get anything You still had to pay money Because our average prices were like $90 Oh

So cheap That's so bad It was like a safety warehouse Discount voucher It was wasn't it Hey thanks you called D Nadia What was your Christmas bonus? I got a block of chocolate and a bottle of wine,

and I'm pregnant and dairy intolerant. Oh. I can say that. I don't know you at all. That sounds fine. That sounds like a regift right there. They really know you, though, don't they? I was in parading theatres, so, you know,

usually you don't get anything, so it was pretty cool to get something. There's nothing you can consume. Yeah, exactly. Pop it away until you're not pregnant anymore. Thanks, you're cool, Nadia. Amy, what was your crappy Christmas bonus? Morning, guys.

How are you this morning? Good, good. Thank you. It's good. I got given a book about my boss. A book that he had written about himself. Wait, what does, like, don't say who he is, but was he, like,

famous or something? No, no, no, no, just your average Joe. Wait, so he had self-published his own, like, memoirs? Well, he got people out to do it. Wait, so it's not like your boss... Would we know your boss's name if you, like, said, oh, he does this

and this is why he wrote a book about himself? No, absolutely not. He's a farmer. Just an average farmer. Oh, because I was expecting an old former all black or someone that we'd know. Some business entrepreneur. Yeah, yeah.

Move a shaker. Michael Hill or something. No, I wish. Right, and did you read the book? Yeah, just for the humour of it, I did. Just to see what he had to say about himself. But, you know. Was it all positive and glowing?

Oh, yeah. No, he made himself sound like a saint. Is he like a narcissist day to day? I wouldn't have said so. He's not, you know, he wasn't that bad to work for, but it was, you know, it was pretty out there. Did he have a good yarn to tell? Like, what was the, I want to read his book now, or at least give it a peruse.

What he had to say. Yeah, like, did he have this incredible life story? Not really. It was actually quite funny because some of the things that he talked about in there, he was saying, you know, I was the one that started to do this. And it was just a certain basic farming practice. And I was like, mate, people have been doing that for absolute centuries. I don't know why you're saying you were into this.

How incredible that someone wrote a book about themselves. And then gave it to you as a Christmas present. Brilliant. Amy, thanks. You call some text messages. Wow. Some other text messages on the worst Christmas bonuses you've been given. Somebody said, we got given a card and it felt like there was something inside it.

And it was like, open these when you get home. And then inside the card was just another card. Just a thick bit of card. Open them when you get home so I can't see your disappointment. Yeah, yeah. The worst Christmas bonus I got was the boss's daughter. She was far more work than she was worth. Lots of people who work for big retail companies say,

oh, you get a box of chocolates, but then they're either, you look at the back and they've been damaged, like a kid's put their finger through it, or they're expired. So they're obviously just got all this chocolate they've got to get rid of. It's so bad. Something you won't notice.

Yeah. Somebody else said, I got a box of chocolates. The best. Okay. So this is one of these people. I got a box of chocolates every Christmas working in retail. The best I can tell you

is that one of them had expired by three years. Whoa. It was three years past that. I would have rang the 0800 number on the line and said, I got this from the store.

Yeah. And what's happened to you? And then their friend did send me out a free one. Joke's on you, retailer. Did you keep the receipt? No, I wouldn't keep the receipt for a box of chocolate, so I wouldn't imagine you'd be selling them three years past your expiry date. We got our vouchers for a company that after the Christmas

break had gone under, so that didn't work. I got a dried piece of Christmas cake from the hospital cafeteria because when they were doing the actual Christmas party, I wasn't there and my colleagues ate all the actual cake. So they bought me and they said, ha-ha, that's a good Christmas bonus. And it wasn't. It wasn't funny.

I had a bad day. I got a company branded drink bottle. Oh, okay. Yeah, I'll take that branded drink bottle. Oh, okay. Yeah, I'll take that to the gym. Yeah, and somebody said, I got a box of favourites from work, but it turned out everyone got a box of favourites, but everybody opened their favourites

and literally took their favourite from everybody else's box of favourites, and I was the last one there, so I got all the Turkish delights. Oh, yum. I would have loved that. I would have loved that. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast.

ZM. Road rage. It's coming to that time of the year where it's really ramping up and AA Insurance have done a survey of people around the country and found the most ragey place in New Zealand. Probably wherever I am when I drive when I finally get a car. Because we drove yesterday to the, we went out and surprised someone with a lit up Christmas

with a coir, didn't we? And I drove the Black Thunder. I got every traffic light. I was like, who is in charge of the lights and why do they hate me? They see me coming and they change them red. You don't drive much. So when you do, you get so frustrated.

Oh my God. I'm so glad I live in the city and don't have a car sometimes, most of the time. We're so lucky we miss traffic because we have weird hours. But when I do get stuck in like five o'clock traffic, it's just like, I can't handle it. My brain's going to explode. Good morning to all of those in morning traffic. Yes.

Yeah. And us here at radio love the morning traffic because it means people listen to the show for longer. Well, don't tell them the secret. They'll build more roads. Don't tell them about the roads. Don't tell them the solution to the problem. I was telling them there's a problem.

I wasn't giving them the answer. Oh, sorry. Don't build more roads. Oh, I'm expressing sympathy for their plight. No, but in the time they will take to build more roads, that will cause more traffic to be stuck while they're building this new road. And then when they finally finish these roads, this is what I've observed, the roads are already out of date.

So there's always more traffic. We're fine. Cool. So the people responding to the survey were either referring to road rage from themselves, so they're getting ragey or from others have experienced from other people. In Wellington, the least road rage

was reported. Really? Yeah. Okay. 28% of Wellingtonians said that experienced it. And obviously during Christmas period it ramps up. Yeah. That's just a given. But the most ragey place in the country.

I would think it's not Auckland because we're kind of used to bad traffic. And a lot of the time people are like, oh yeah, go in. I'm going to suck you forever anyway. Yeah, like we all move to Auckland, but people that grow up in Auckland, it's just life. You grow up and you're always in traffic. So you're just used to it. One third of the population lives here. I would have thought it would have been the most road ragey just on numbers alone.

Numbers alone. Do you have the list of everyone in between? I have the top five. Okay. The top five ragey places. Because I wouldn't imagine somewhere like New Plymouth, my hometown, mum will get stuck in the Waiwaka'i bridge traffic sometimes and that gets a bit upsetting. I love when my mum

and Nelson is like, oh, we can't go now. There's traffic. Or my mum's like, I went to town. I couldn't even find a park in the Countdown car park. Everybody was at Countdown.

It's like, no they weren't, mum. It's like, yeah, but there's parks like, you don't have, you're just used to parking Literally two metres From the

From anywhere Yeah My mum does the opposite She parks right in the Back corner of the car park And then we There's parks closer She's like

I don't want anyone's Trolley hitting my car Yeah that's Bloody trolley Yeah it's good times So I can tell you Yeah Wellington is the least

Road raging Okay Then they've lumped in The rest of the North Island 31% the rest of the North Island, 31%. The rest of the South Island is 33%. But the top two, Auckland, 37%. Can I just say, that's lazy surveying. It is.

That is like lazy surveying. Yeah. From the AA there. Yes. I want to hear how road ragey people are in Napier. Very road ragey. Or Thai happy. They might be quite ragey because, yeah.

They don't use their traffic. Yeah. But the number one rages in the country is Canterbury. For 43% of people experience or... Yeah, it's all those bloody Hiluxes coming into town and they just like,

oh, drive up on the footpath, babe. You can't drive up on the footpath. Yeah, but it's because... I don't know what to bloody do. Especially in the inner city that you go down a road and you're just like, what? Yeah. No, you could drive down this yesterday. Very frustrated at the situation.

Yeah. With the roading. But then it probably spills over onto other people. Yeah. And particularly of the age 18 to 34. Really angry. Raging at other people. Yeah. And particularly of the age 18 to 34. Really angry. Raging at other drivers. The raging youth of Christchurch.

Yeah. Getting angry about the driving. So if you're driving in Canterbury today, just be patient. Wave. Especially during Christmas period. Yeah, because if you're really angry, it's really great when someone just waves to you politely.

Oh yeah, I love when someone's raging just to be like, someone pulls their fingers at you, nothing beats giving them a thumbs up back. It's so good. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. The 12 Days of Fletchmas. All right, here's my present. Gentle, gentle. Well, that sounds like it could be lollies, eh?

No, it sounds like metal. Sounds a bit gross. No, it's soft. But what's jangling? I don't know. There is a slightly jangling. What could it be? Well, all amazing prizes for the 12 Days of Fleechmas.

You've just got to register as anyone online. Get on the naughty or the nice list. Should we start with the nice first? Yeah. Who's on the nice list? Sarah, good morning. Good morning. Happy Friday.

Oh, happy Friday. Happy Friday. You even sound nice. That sounded a little bit naughty. That sounded naughty. Now, Sarah, why are you on the nice list in 2020? So after COVID, I decided that I wanted to share a little bit of love with my community. And I go for a McCafe coffee every morning.

So I decided to pay for the person behind me in the driveway for about two months every day. Two months every day, that's amazing. And show sponsor as well. That is seamless. Synergy, good synergy. Yeah, that's what they call that in the business. Yeah. Okay.

So would you just say to the person, pay for the person behind me? Yes, that's right. And just watch their reaction in my rear vision mirror and it was just really nice. I didn't need any thanks, anything like that. I just wanted to inspire

other people to hopefully pay it forward. So, yeah. Oh, that's so nice. I was going to say, how do you know what the person behind you, like that you were

giving enough money, but by the time you go through the drive-thru, they've already ordered, haven't they? Yeah, so they've already ordered at the speaker box and I'll just say,

how much is it? Yep, I'll pay for it. So what if they were ordering for like the whole work site or for an office and they'd each got a muffin or, you know, like a sweet treat? There was only one I had to decline and it was about $70 worth because I couldn't quite afford that, but I

stood up for sort of $40. You did up to $40? That is so nice. Alright, Sarah, wait there. It's time to meet the 2020 naughty lister. Ho, ho, ho! Who's on the naughty list?

Alicia. Alicia, good morning. Hello, how are you guys? Good. How are you going to follow that up? How are you going to follow that up? I know. She's such a nice person. Yeah.

Tell us why you're not a nice person. So I bought my two-year-old son his first advent calendar. Oh, yeah. And it was the last day of November and I'd had a big weekend, had my best friend's kiss and I was feeling a bit sorry for myself, but nothing a bit of Choccy can't fix. I ate the first day, and they're so much smaller than they used to be, so it's like half the size, so obviously I ate a couple more.

Yep, okay. So I ate four, and so my son had no idea what's in the calendar yet And on the weekend I gave him one for the Saturday And then again on the Sunday Yep And then he ate four on the Monday And I said, no, no, no, it's just for the weekend So I get to eat most of the time

So you told your son that the advent calendar, despite 24 windows, is only to service the weekends of December. Well, yeah, he's not going to know it until some kid listening goes into daycare and tells him to do it. You monster. Dan, you didn't think about replacing the calendar? Oh, no, no. I mean, I felt guilty,

but then I also thought that I'm probably doing them a bit of a favour for it's teeth. Yeah. Yeah, that's good. Justify that however you need to. I don't. Okay, wait, wait there, Alicia. What do you do with that? It's quite funny though isn't it?

Yeah But you've got like You've got good good You've got really good And Really Cheeky Yeah Oh this is gonna

Show people who you are Go on Make a decision. I think Alicia had her prize when she delved into the chocolates and I'm going to give Sarah the prize today. On the North List.

Thank you. I think I've been goosebumps Fletch. Well done. See, I am a nice person. You are. That's amazing. He didn't buy the present. Oh my god. Do we have to give that away? Tell her what she's won because your

face just dropped. Can I keep it? You've won a, it's a Lily Cross body bag from Saban. This is worth over 200 bucks. Oh my god. Megan's eyeing it up like she wants it. A beautiful gold hardware chain. Oh, my gosh. Megan's eyeing it up like she wants it. A beautiful gold hardware chain.

Yeah, it's got a chain on it. If you started your rap career, you could take the chain off and just wear it around your neck, I reckon. Oh, this is beautiful. You so deserve it, Sarah. That was so lovely. Congratulations, Sarah. Your nice work in 2020 has paid off.

And if you would like to register either on the naughty or the nice list, either one, we're running at about half and half at the moment for naughty and nice winners. Just go to ZM online. We're going to do it again next week as well. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Well, it turns out what I gave people a taste of the other day on the gram, they couldn't get enough of.

Right. Good Lord. Water blasting the deck. Why? Who knew that water blasting an area and time-lapsing it would get people so jazzed? I had a fair idea

that people loved watching other people water blast because there's a subreddit called Power Wash Porn, which is what they call power washing. It's what Americans call water blasting.

And you can watch, there's a guy with, and I think there's a guy on TikTok that is like a professional. I like that dude on TikTok. And he cleans like really dirty driveways and stuff. Yeah, because I get those videos pop up in my feed and I'm just like, I could watch them for ages. Yeah, they're so good.

What they're lacking is a song in the background. I think Sade, my wife, stumbled across a great song to have in the background of... Your water blasting. Background of water blasting. Oh, shit. I don't know if I've got it plugged in. God, that was going to be so smooth.

And then it wasn't. That should be on your headstone. That was going to be so smooth, but it wasn't. I like it. Yeah, this would be A good time lapse song For an autoblast This is satisfying

And then you just Watch them Watch them wash Yeah yeah And you're just Watching them wash Right Yeah so I started

Yesterday And it was kind of raining So I was like Well I can't put my phone Up on a time lapse Because it'll get wet Yep And then I was like

When I did this part of the deck, I could sit it in the lounge window and it will be inside and dry and I can time lapse a nice square piece of deck. Yeah, right. I was like, okay, I'll do it. So Sade put up a few little videos of just me going over the dirty spots. Yeah. And people, she just said she never dealt with inundation.

She was inundated. She was inundated. But what's the like verb of inundation? Just say inundation. I would have believed it. She was flooded. She was flooded. She was inundated with people just being like, oh, we need more.

We need more. People just wanted more and more of the dirty deck being water blasted. And then I put up the time lapse and people have i've had messages from people i've i've been inundated the trouble is though like you've only got so much thing to to water blast then what so this is what's next yeah i've got a long concrete driveway oh dirty it's a dirty little tripod. Okay. Filthy concrete tripod. You need to break that down into bits though. So no.

Different videos. I need, because I was thinking a Timemates would be the go, but what I need is, and I don't even know if this sort of thing exists. I need to hire a camera on like wheels, like a tripod with wheels, and then have a device on a timer that slowly winds it. Like you know one of those

rails? Yeah, you can buy sliders for that. Yeah, you can. And you can get them that attach to like a line. Like a rope and they'll winch themselves across. Slowly winch it and it just pulls back on time lapse and it's got to be the right speed just to be walking down and cleaning the driveway as well.

Is this going to turn into your side hustle? Are you going to go around to your neighbours saying you need anything water blasted? Not one of them. But the other neighbours might get some water blasted. But yeah, people just went. Because I put up some stories, Shadeh stories, and then got back to the job at hand because the decks still needed to be cleaned. And I came back.

I don't know how many messages I had from people just being like show me more. I want to come around and have a go. I want to do some of your dirty deck. Yeah, the deck's all done. You want to do his dirty deck? I want to know the drive. I want to do the dirty drive. Yeah, I know where the driveway

is going to be. I'm already looking forward to it. I saw that video and I wanted to take the piss out of you, but I watched it like three times. I was like, oh, so good. And people were like, how was that in person? And I said, it's very therapeutic. Because I wonder if I'd get

bored of it. Like, it's alright to watch a time lapse, but when you actually have to do the hard work. How hard is it? No, I think, yeah, because you can let your mind wander. Yeah, right. So it's therapeutic. I found it quite therapeutic because I wasn't in a hurry because I was just

there's this attachment that goes on the end because that's the other thing people are like, how does that work? It's magical. It's like this attachment that goes on the end of the water blaster. It's got two rotating heads in it and they spin around like a helicopter or a lawnmower and they just Because you look like the cleaner at school

going down the hallway with that thing. With the little floor polisher. Yeah, that's what you look like. Well, it wasn't quite that. But when you're doing it you get instant gratification. It went from like grey

to like no, what colour? I know, and that's the thing and you can just watch it and you slowly pull it. I worry about aliens coming down from another planet and looking at us like obsessed with watching someone

drooling over waterbaths in a driveway. It's weird. Yeah. I mean, that's not the weirdest thing they're going to see when they come here, is it? Nah, certainly not on the internet. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Friday Flashback.

Flashback, flashback. Friday Flashback, my turn. Yeah. Try to gather back some of the damage done to my... Oh, give it a rest. Perfect brand. After old Henny Big Schnapps decided to offer forth that song from Benedict Beckham and I was like, well, I'll trust you.

That just shows you should never trust anybody. That was a bomb. Probably the worst Friday flashback song of the year, to be honest. I think people, some people liked it. And some people liked it only because of how angry you got about it. Yeah. Which I think I'm finding is a theme to the listeners. They like winding you up as much as we do.

Yeah, right. This song that I'm going to play now, it's sort of a tribute. Okay. This week, producer Jared, who joined the show at the start of the year, lost a very special friend. His dog, Ruby, a beagle that he'd had for 11 years, passed away and took the day off yesterday. And we just wanted to say, as a show, we're really sorry to hear about it, man.

We know how special Ruby was to you. Cheers, guys. It's like losing a member of the family, isn't it? These little fluffy things come into our lives. Buggers are things, aren't they, Piers? They come into your life and they bury themselves so deeply in your heart and when you lose them, it is, it's bloody hard. Yeah. So we just want to say our thoughts are with you and as a little bit of a tribute uh we're gonna play the song that gave ruby her name oh i'm on board

with this song from the kaiser chiefs uh the album was yours truly angry mob this song is not on spotify and i can't find out why it must be some sort of record company disagreement with streaming services yeah but the song from the k Kaiser Chiefs in today's Friday Flashback from the year 2007 is Ruby. Yes. All right, it's your Friday Flashback. Sit in. Like to never be said, the romance is dead Cause there's so little else occupying my head

There is nothing I need need Except the function to breathe But I'm not really fussed, doesn't matter to me Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby Do you, do you, do you, do you Know what you're doing, do it to me Ruby, ruby, ruby, ruby Due to lack of interest, tomorrow is cancelled Let the clocks be reset and the pendulums held

Cause there's nothing at all, except the space in between Finding out what you're called and repeating your name Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby I do you, do you, do you, do you Know what you're doing, do it to me Rubey, Rubey, Rubey, Rubey Could it be, could it be That you're joking with me And you don't really see you in me Could it be, could it be

That you're joking with me And you don't really see you in me guitar solo Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby Do you, do you, do ya, do ya Know what you're doing, doing to me Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby Do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya Know what you're doing, doing too late

Friday flashback on ZM. Fleets, Vaughan and Megan, Kaiser Chiefs, Ruby. It's 11 past eight. Feedback? Yes, please. Sure. An absolute banger. Best song you've picked, Vaughn?

Well, that's actually... Yeah, they're not wrong. They've probably only heard last week, last time I did it. Yeah. That was Henny's issue. Anybody want to take that up with her? Somebody said, one of the best lines in that song, due to lack of interest, tomorrow is cancelled.

Yeah, good. That is a great line. Great line someone said my name's ruby okay that's cool no but don't you get excited when someone on a movie has the same name as you oh yeah because it never happens yeah never happens there's never been a song with any of our names in it it's there no Nah. Boon. Why'd you come for me? Why'd you come for me? What would you rhyme with it? Yeah, but it sounds like it's just a noise. So I could just claim a lot of noises and songs, sure.

Would love to talk about if you've been wanting to get proposed to because this is a crazy story. From Zambia, a woman is suing her boyfriend of eight years. Gertrude has had enough. She is 26. So they've been together since they were like 18. Okay. But she is suing her boyfriend for not marrying her.

They've been together eight years. Can you do that? I don't know. Obviously, because they've gone to court. The lawsuit demands that he outlines his plans for their future after she's got so frustrated at waiting to get married

and she has caught him texting another woman. She needs to read, I know this is a hark back to the 2000s, he's just not that into you. So she still lives with her parents and her partner lives in a separate home. Right.

I mean, and he's texting other women. They have a child together though, but she claims he's never been serious. They have a child together, but she lives with her parents and he lives in a separate home. Come on.

Come on. I thought it might've been a religious, like no before marriage. The baby might've been immaculate conception. Oh, yeah. You don't know that. That's true. You don't know that.

That's how that happens. Especially this time of year. Yeah. She's taken him to court because she wants to know and she says she deserves to know the way forward for their future. I mean, it's a strong, strong road to go to take, isn't it? Yeah. He, in his defense, has said that he does want to marry her,

but he had no money to do it. And he also said that she doesn't give him enough attention. I would have been out of there a long time ago. Why does this couple just sound like a terrible idea? I know. I know. Yeah. But it did want to get us on to the fact that, you know,

people out there are right now waiting for their boyfriends to propose to them. Could be longer than eight years. She's had enough for eight years, but maybe you've waited longer. And we want to know, particularly this morning, like what you've done. Have you dropped hints? Subtle or not subtle? Maybe they started subtle and they got more major. Yeah.

What hints have you dropped to let them know you are ready? I mean, it's 2020. You can either, anyone can ask. You can ask. Yeah. Yeah. If you're sick of waiting. I can't imagine you would have asked Mr. Toyboy though, Megan.

Nah. Did you drop any hints? Nah, did I? I don't know. Probably. You wouldn't have. Subconscious hints. If he'd let it go for another couple of years,

he probably would have started being ready to. Oh, yeah. Probably would have just bought my own ring. Like, guess what? We're engaged. I wouldn't have asked him. I'll get the receipt. All right.

So, yeah, I don't know. Do you drop some hints? Or were you less than subtle about it? Or maybe you concocted a plan where your friends subtly dropped it in. Got involved. So a woman in Zambia is suing her boyfriend because he hasn't proposed after eight years. I mean, that's very subtle.

It's a very subtle way of getting a proposal. She wants a plan set out for their future. Love me. The court says you have to. It's not very romantic. It's not romantic at all, is it? So 0800DARLS.M, you can text as well, 9696. Bobbi, how did you let somebody know

that it was time to finally propose? Actually, myself. We were having dinner with my parents and there was just kind of like a lull in the conversation and my mom just kind of looked at my boyfriend and was like, so you better hurry up and marry her before you know you smart enough about it

and realize that you can do better. But she said that to your boyfriend. Yeah, my mom said that to my boyfriend. My dad just kind of like looked at me and he's like, well, what she said. Oh, ouch. Wow, yeah. So how long after that did the engagement happen?

Still hasn't. And how long have you been waiting? Not, I haven't really been waiting, but apparently my parents have been waiting about three years now. Oh, but parents are always waiting, aren't they? Oh, we're going to die. We want grandchildren. It's all about us.

Anna, when did you drop some hints and let somebody know it was finally time to propose? So we were just at the mall and I took him straight to Michael Hill and just pointed at the ring that I wanted and said, I like that one. Did that sink in?

Did he get it? Yeah, we've been married for two years. And the week after I had said that, I went with my girlfriends to show them the ring that I liked, and it wasn't there. Oh. Yeah. Well, at least he listened.

Yeah, but did you think he had purchased it, or you'd missed out on it? I didn't know. Yeah, I thought I'd maybe missed out on it. So I'm glad I didn't. Wow. That's brilliant. All right, hey, thanks for your call. Anonymous,

when did you drop some hints and let somebody know it was time to propose? So my partner and I have been together for 11 years in January and I created a Pinterest board of rings that I liked and then added him to it. Added him to your Pinterest board?

Wow, and do you think he, I mean, did you tell him that you'd added him to it? Because he might have just got the email notification and thought it was spam. I kind of had showed him, and then I was like, yeah, I've added you to the board. But it has worked, because last night we went to the mall and we

tested out my ring. Oh my god! She's cut off! She's cut off. She cut herself off. And then, she was just, tried the ring size. Do you reckon she was going to say that?

Yeah. You have a jewellery and you try those little things and you remember what letter you are and the finger sizing. But that's a giveaway, isn't it? Well, I mean, you want to make it pretty obvious. Yeah, that's true.

You've got to buy them a decoy piece of jewellery if you're going to do that, by the way. That's how you do that. Or just have friends like us that when Megan goes on a holiday to Rarotonga. Just absolutely bait her that it's going to happen. And then luckily it did. Otherwise all my hopes and dreams would have been dashed.

I know, and one was following you around the island. And it happened. He even went to hunting and fishing and got that sand dune camouflage costume so you could watch. I was crawling for a lot of sand dunes. It's a long island when you're going to crawl around it. They say it's small,

but you try crawling around the circumference every sundown. Yeah. Some other text messages in. I've got a top tip, somebody said. Oh, okay. Subscribe your boyfriend's email address to jewellery mailing lists.

Is that obvious enough, though? Or is he just like, how did these get here? What? Yeah, true. He's just going to delete it and be like, oh, no, I've got that. Yeah, because it's like when you're in trouble and you're acting like you don't know why you're in trouble. I always know why I'm in trouble. Yeah.

But you've got to act like you're not in trouble. But imagine being one of those guys, you know, and then you'll see a guy and he actually doesn't know why I'm in trouble. But you've got to act like you're not in trouble. But imagine like, but imagine being one of those guys, you know, and then you'll see a guy and he actually doesn't know why he's in trouble. That would be horrible. Being that like daft, not knowing why you're in trouble. I would care to guess that about 90% of the guys know exactly why they're in trouble.

But they need you to say it out loud to confirm it. Cause there's three possible things they could be in trouble for. So they need you to say which one it is in case they come out in defense of one of the other three possible things they could be in trouble for. So they need you to say which one it is in case they come out in defence of one of the other two so then they're in trouble

for two things not just the one that they wanted. Why don't you just apologise for the thing that you know you're in trouble for? No, because there's three possible things I'm in trouble for.

Why apologise for four of them? No, because you don't know about two of them. I'm not getting myself in two extra lots of trouble. She might not have seen you perving at the hot girl at the mall.

That's something I have not done. That's the other thing. You think you've been real sneaky, but they see that. Around her. They see you looking. Some other tips on

when people have dropped the hint that it's time to get engaged. Some people have been with their partners for so long. Someone's like,

I've been with my partner for 19 years. We've got three kids, a mortgage and everything. There's even a ring in the cupboard at home that we've talked about. The engagement ring's purchased, but the question has not been asked. Just wear it. Just start wearing it.

Yeah, I'll just start wearing it. Because it's there. Because I think by law, if you wear it for two years, they have to anyway, right? And they say, you proposed to me last night. They'll be like, what? I'll be like, my God, were you sleepwalking? And then they'll feel to me last night. They'll be like, what? And I'll be like, my God,

were you sleepwalking? And then they'll feel so bad about it. They'll be like, no, of course not. Yes, of course. And then you're engaged. That's how good

healthy relationships are built. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day. Next week, fact of the day, a Christmas fact every day.

Oh, nice. A Christmassy fact. Yay. It was going to start today, but then I thought I'd be doing myself a disservice because I'll be struggling my Friday. So I'll make today a non-Christmas and then next week's all Christmas fact of the day. So today's fact of the day is why eggs come by the dozen.

Oh, yep. Like, as a default, they come by a dozen or a half a dozen. Yeah, because you know some supermarkets sell those 10 packs and occasionally they'll be on special and I'll grab one, not thinking. And then, you know, I supermarkets sell those 10 packs, and occasionally they'll be on special and I'll grab one, not thinking. Yeah. And then, you know, I have a four-egg omelette roll

or four scrambled eggs for breakfast. That's a lot of eggs in one sitting. But it puts me off because then I have to buy another 10 pack because then if I buy a dozen, you can't possibly have any use for two eggs. I'm still going to have two eggs left over. No, there's no use for two eggs. What if you have, like, a boiled egg and soldiers? No, absolutely not. I can't going to have two eggs left over. No, there's no use for two eggs. What if you have like a boiled egg and soldiers?

No, absolutely not. I can't imagine you being a boiled egg guy. No, I'm not. Too much time. What if you, you know, every now and then you just boil a couple of eggs and then you put them in the cold water and you're like, I'll get back to you and then like you have them for like after a snack. Or you put it in a lovely salad.

Slice a couple of eggs. Oh, yeah. The old egg slicer. Did your mum have an egg slicer growing up? I love the egg slicer. Just wires on have an egg slicer growing up? I loved the egg slicer. Just wires on a rack and they would push through the egg. Simple things.

Simple things. Simple things. Oh, gosh. I tried to slice a... What was that? I don't know, but this is going to be riveting. Oh, yeah.

I can't wait to find out what you were slicing. Why can't I say it? Beetroot. A little beetroot. Oh, that was... Broke the egg slicer, didn't I? Well, I got a hiding.

But it was the 80s, so that's just how we rolled out. Parents didn't have Nigel Latter. Nigel Latter wasn't running parenting specials. Yeah. Everyone was confused and angry. So I've looked into this. Why it isn't, we can blame the old English for it. Okay.

And imperial units. Right. So you know how there's 12 inches in a foot? Yep. But like the decimal system is there's 10 in everything? Yep. Like there's... Why do you look so confused?

I didn't know there's 12 inches in a foot. No, I'm not. I get it. Like imperial's weird. It's all like 12s and it's all odds, but then decimals and stuff. It's like Americans. Horrible.

Yeah. Ounces. Ounces. Yeah. Gary, get out of here. Give me my grams. The metric. I'm a big fan of the metric system.

Huge fan of the metric system. Huge fan. Massive. Yeah. It's my favorite system. Can't fault it. It's easily my favorite measuring system. So, 12 pennies to a shilling

so for one shilling you'd get 12 eggs or you could individually buy the eggs for a shilling each so that's why so that's why all the times everybody got used to it you'd take your shilling you'd get 12 eggs and it just became the way that you would buy eggs by the dozen

because it was easier yeah there have been changes you can get 15 packs now on the trays and everything but you know your standard pack of eggs was a dozen or half a dozen because it was the easiest to. There have been changes. You can get 15 packs now on the trays and everything. Yeah. But, you know, your standard pack of eggs was a dozen or half a dozen because it was the easiest to do with the currency at the time. Oh, yeah. They didn't want change.

They didn't like change. I saw egg trays being made the other day and it was fascinating. What? The big ones. Where? Who would you say it? It was like one of those videos on Facebook that comes up. You know that we would have appreciated that.

The mould, it comes out of the water and squishes it up into the mould with the like the gooey paper mache stuff that the egg trays made out of it and then it just like makes the egg shape and then it comes off. I was just like, amazing. But how does it heat it as well to hold its shape because it's not like plastic. It wouldn't suck in warm

and then set. It looked a bit third world country so I don't know if that's how we make our vegan. It was a bit third world country so I don't know if that's how we make our vegan. It was like a chicken in dirt. My chickens are in dirt. You couldn't meet third world. No but I'm just like

I don't think they're pulping newspaper. Yeah they pulp it and then they press it up against the thing. Have a Google. It was very fascinating. It looks like the sort

of machine that if you got your hand caught in that'd be the end of your arm. Oh yeah and the workplace would get a huge fine from WorkSafe. That kind of content, I would have read the group chat. You shouldn't put it on the group chat.

There's absolutely no guarantee you would have read the group chat. You never read the group chat. We could put the most amazing videos in the group chat. You could, but you don't. Like the other day, remember that goss we had? I mean, it's like, you didn't tell me this. It's like, it was in the group chat. It was a hot topic in the group chat. So was a hot topic in the group chat.

So today's fact of the day is eggs traditionally come in the dozen because there was 12 eggs and 12 shilling, 12 pennies per shilling. Cool, bro. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. And while it's happening again, the 22nd of January, Hagley Oval Christchurch.

The Black Clash. It's team rugby versus team cricket. And you can get all the info at blackclash.co.nz. Tickets are on sale now. $49 for adults, kids of $15 plus fees. Now, we do have a double pass to give away in just a couple of minutes. Joining us on the phone from Team Rugby, he cleaned out Stephen Fleming last year,

and he's hoping to do it again, I imagine. Geordie Barrett, hello. Morning, how's it going? Good, mate, good. So, you're a bit of a dab hand at the old cricket. I try to be a couple of times a year. So I've done all right the last couple of years. I'm not sure if I'll be able to go three in a row.

It's normally the way in cricket. It doesn't matter how well you prepare. Sometimes you don't have your day. So I'm looking forward to it though. Were you in the first 11 at school as well, as the first 15? Yeah, I was actually more of a cricketer at school. I put more of my time into

my cricketing and I was first 11 from fifth form onwards. Wow. I always hated playing at Francis Douglas because they had concrete AstroTurf and you'd get like balls around the head all the time. Bounce off.

Yeah, nothing's changed. What was your cricket gear like? You've got quite a big family. I would imagine was everybody like sharing cricket pads and stuff or did you have your own?

No, we had our own but I was designated groundsman at home. We used to call it the BCG so it was just out all day right on lawnmower with a roller tied behind it just trying to flatten off our deck all afternoon for my older brothers to bowl and bat on all day.

So that was my job growing up. Wow, did you like aerate the pitch? Did you have like some great like technique going on or were you just turning around the roller? Well, I used to water it all down in the summer and then grab side grip from up on the farm and cover it and then just pretend it was going to rain overnight and take it off in the morning.

Wow. That is so good. Oh my God, running a full groundskeeper situation. I was reliving the video where you cleaned out Stephen Fleming in the first over in the last match. What was that like? Obviously, like growing up watching Stephen Fleming, you know, captain New Zealand all those years,

and you bowled him out. Yeah, I was a little bit unsure, to be fair, because Fleming used to be one of my heroes growing up. And then until I bowled him, I didn't really know how to react because I was still quite intimidated of him so um yeah i'm just gonna be careful where i walk there yeah because because there's always this year isn't there or next year's match rather yeah yeah that's right come back to buy you pretty quickly so who uh who on the team who who else on the rugby team is going

to be doing the heavy lifting on the the press release, your name's first, which indicates they're going to be relying on you pretty heavily. Yeah. We've got Izzy Daggs back. He bowls plenty of heat. I think he broke Flynn's toe the first year we played. Oh, my God. Poor Stephen Fleming.

Stephen Fleming needs to step up next year. I'm just saying. Richie McCaw. He was on rail first year at Hagley. Took a couple of screamers in the field. And we've got a couple of new boys in. And Will Jordan and Brad Webber. So we're looking to get plenty out of them.

Nice. And at the moment, you're in quarantine. Yep. Day 11 of 14. So all downhill from here. I can see the end. It hasn't been too bad to be fair. What have you been doing to pass your time?

Plenty actually. Yeah, plenty. So much. So much stuff. I won't list it. Yesterday I went for a hike to the bathroom and I stayed there for an hour. Is it weird, though, looking out at the world, like, from, you know, from your hotel downtown Auckland?

Yeah, it's amazing what you can take enjoyment out of when you can find your own room for two weeks. So that's been interesting. Right. Well, we'll get back to that busy schedule of isolation that you've got planned for the rest of the day. Thank you. Thanks for having a chat.

And you can get all the info, thanks Geordie, you can get all the info at blackclash.co.nz ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. It's moly, moly, moly, moly, moly, moly, moly, moly, moly. Come on! And it's fitting that it is the work Christmas party edition.

Of Polly, Molly. This is where the juicy deets come out because someone's had a gin. Oh, there are so many responses we can't read out. Oh, my Lord. Oh, my Lord. Things go down at the Christmas party. Is that why we had that big email before our Christmas party last week? The NZME one?

Oh yeah, the work company one. Yeah, basically just said like, don't get too carried away. Don't be a silly bugger. Yeah. Okay, so the first question for our PoliMoli work Christmas party edition. Do you generally enjoy the work Christmas party? Which is interesting because it's put on to be like an end of year soiree for everyone 64% said yes

but 36% said no is that on them being a Grinch or is that on the workplace some people just don't like their workmates because some of the comments were like

now that I have good workmates I do but previously no I look forward to my partner's Christmas party more than mine as they have cocktails on tap and it's not stagnant.

Yep. We just have a barbecue and drinks. Everyone's so antisocial. It's awkward and horrible. Can't wait for it to be over. I stopped going as everyone just gets really drunk and highly inappropriate and it's not my scene. Yeah.

Yeah. Next question was, how do you feel about Secret Santa? This one's pretty split. Love it 57% and 43% hate it. See, that's enough not to have it. That's 50-50 to me. It's not a majority. It's close enough.

No, that's not how democracy works. Hate doing it with work, love doing it with friends and family. Yeah, see, that's the thing. Because you know them better. And you're more invested in the present. Yeah. Might be something a bit more personal. What a waste of bloody money, somebody else said.

We do stealing Santa at our work. The other one's boring. I like that one. No, I like that secret Santa. If you actually manage to get a good one and you're at the start, you're like, well, this is going to last. Yeah. 100% going to lose it.

This is where you decide who you want to steal the present off, right? You get to choose whether or not you want to open the present that's passed to you or you can steal somebody's that's already open, but then they get to open the present. Right, okay. So you don't get to know what you're giving up. You just get to know what you're stealing. But then the next person could steal it off you.

Oh, yeah, true. Okay. It's lots of fun. Yeah. Next question is, have you ever hooked up with someone at the work Christmas party? No, 86%. Wow, okay.

Are you lying? 14 said yes. That's still a lot though. I feel like that's... No, because it's like people who hooked up specifically at the Christmas party. Yeah. They might have already been hooking up beforehand. Yeah, true.

And it might have led to them hooking up afterwards, but at the Christmas party, somebody said... That's your moment party. Yeah. They might have already been hooking up beforehand. Yeah, true. And it might have led to them hooking up afterwards, but at the Christmas party, somebody said- That's your moment, though. Yeah. Got drunk and pashed a colleague. Worked out well as we're now happily married. Oh, there you go. A guy and a girl, a guy got a girl pregnant in the bushes.

They're now together raising the kid. Okay. Well, that's good. There's your baby from the work Christmas party. Yeah. Every one of our work parties ends in someone cheating on their partner. And someone said, never screw the crew, dot, dot, dot. Not always.

Good Lord. Should work Christmas parties happen during work hours? It depends what it is. If it's a party, you don't want to start your party at 9am and finish at 5. But like if you're going on a fishing trip or something, sure. 63% said yes. No 37%. Because people want to be paid because it's work.

So they want it to happen during the hours of their day that they've allocated to work. These are the same people that don't enjoy Christmas parties because of the people they have to socialise with. Someone said at least start it during work hours and then it can roll into the evening. Yeah. Someone said ours is always on a weekend. So there you go, it's my weekend. Taking the day off is a must or yeah, or after work on a weekday, I don't want to

have to give up my weekend. Yeah, fair call. This is where it gets a bit crazy and this is where we can't read out a lot of the responses that we received. When we put up a question box. We just read them real quick. Read them. Are you going to read them real quick?

We asked, what is the wildest thing that happened at your work Christmas party? In the question box. Okay, don't dwell. Hit it and quit it. Guy got a stiffy while wearing a Borat costume. Guy pulled a Kanye during the yearly awards

and got asked to leave. A colleague fell through the glass floor. What? Two colleagues got it on in the toilets at the fruit shop. They broke the toilet and would have flooded the potato section. You can't have a wet spud until you're ready to cook the spud. No. The HR manager dancing on the table fell off, broke her arm.

Oh, my God. I peed in the bush. I thought I was hit him but it was in front of the venue and the CEO came out and saw my coochie. Store manager cheated on his pregnant girlfriend with another employee and got her pregnant too.

Oh my God. Skinny dipping with the whole crew. Felt good at the time, really weird looking back on it. The fight broke out. Nose got broken. Dude got fired. It was his second day on it. The fight broke out. Nose got broken. Dude got fired. It was his second day. Wow. The most reserved person at work that a striptease for everybody.

It's always the quiet ones. It is, yeah. Some guy's wife came to the party to confront him because he was cheating on her with someone at work. Oh, that's a good party. I ended up naked in the middle of the road waiting for my mom to pick me up. She's seen it before. Somebody got arrested for stealing alcohol from behind the bar where we're at.

And somebody else said a massive food fight broke out and the venue banned our company from ever coming back. Wow. And those are just the ones we could read. We can read. Yeah, wow. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's free and Clinton to listen to subscribe on the I heart radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hit music lives here.

ZM.