ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 11th March 2021
Episode Date: March 10, 2021Today on the show, we interview NZ fashion icon Karen Walker, Don't get Fletch started and who have you accidentally seen naked?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information....
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ZM. Hit music. Lives here.
Fleeche Warner Megan. The podcast.
Hello, welcome to the Fleeche Warner Megan with Hayley Sproul podcast.
It's thanks to McCafe. Download the Macca's app to get McCafe rewards today.
Gotta wok.
You gotta wok?
Yeah, the Smiths gotta wok.
Oh, okay. That's funny you say that because I have actually been lately thinking I need a new fry pan.
A wok.
But you gotta be, like, a wok can't, a wok and frypan, you've got to have both.
They serve a different purpose.
Exactly.
If you're going to make a fried egg in a wok.
No, big mistake.
Unless it's egg fried rice.
Indeed.
And then you want it in a wok.
But if you're just going to scramble an egg or whatever, you're best to go pan.
I think I've got at the moment, because my nonstick surface is becoming half nonstick.
And carcinogenic. And carcinogenic.
And carcinogenic.
Wildly, wildly carcinogenic.
And I think I've got the ultimate fry pan because it's half wok, half normal pan.
Oh, I've got one of those.
It's not overly curvaceous like a wok, but it's enough on the sides that you can do like an omelette or a stir fry.
Yeah, I've got one of those.
But they're so cumbersome.
I'd rather just have wok and then a flat one.
Yeah, because the flat one, you get a bigger cooking surface,
but the wok, you get that intense bottom, super hot.
And so you keep it moving and stuff doesn't get overcooked and soggy.
Did you get a brand new wok?
Yes.
Because you're going to have to use that for at least a year
until it starts really paying off.
Because the wok, they get better as they burn.
Yeah, really?
You never clean them.
Oh.
Ever.
Car sign wok?
No, no.
Yeah, like the big ones with the handles.
Oh, the big ones.
Ramon's got the one wooden handle.
It's not huge.
It's like that big.
It's a wooden handle.
Yeah.
And you really get it.
I was in there last night.
Shit, I made a good stir fry.
Because I'll often overdo the stir fry and it comes out a bit soggy.
Soggy veg. Soggy veg. You've cooked it too long. You just want to kiss them with the high heat. Yeah, I just went, I made a good stir fry because I'll often overdo the stir fry and it comes out a bit soggy. Soggy veg.
Oh, yeah.
Soggy veg.
You've cooked it too long.
You just want to kiss them with the high heat.
Yeah, I just went, I mean, garlic and onions.
I used beef fat as well because that's the key to any delight.
I put beef fat in my mashed potatoes last night and everyone was like,
this is delicious.
What's in these mashed potatoes?
Hang on, hang on.
I'm going to pause you.
Yeah.
You had a stir fry with mashed potatoes.
So.
Good call.
Good call.
You are so white. No, so the deal is i dug potatoes
from the garden and it got to the point where i'm like i'm we're going away so i'm like these
potatoes aren't gonna last so i'm making potatoes the kids had potatoes they didn't have the stir
fry they had other stuff and then i had some of the mashed potatoes yeah but i put beef fat in them
yeah what a delicious sin it made them so velvety. These potatoes are delicious.
I prefer, this is outrageous, I prefer collie mash to potato mash.
Oh, collie mash, yeah, good.
Because I got onto collie mash when I went into keto.
And now I'm like, I prefer the taste.
And the key is to keep it nice and healthy in keto,
you get your cauliflower, you know, and you boil it up
and then you mash it up and then you add about 250 pounds of butter. Oh, yep. Okay.
What are you ringing?
Hello, management?
Yeah, no, this isn't working out. She's got to go
yeah, cauliflower mashed
over potato. Are you going to say she's
brought up keto again? Yeah.
No, I'm dying. I'm no longer on.
I can put up with that because I know people are struggling, you know,
they struggle to make keto better, but
yeah, no, no.
Koli mash is so much more flavoursome than potatoes.
I like koli mash, but you can't say it's better than the potato.
That's the original mash.
That just tells me you're not making your mash right.
Or beef fat.
I like a bit of kumara in my potato mash.
Me too.
I love mashed kumara.
Don't get me wrong.
That's a bit of mash.
You've got to underboil that, though.
If you're going to mash a kumara, you can't overmash it.
It just turns to slop.
Yeah, it gets wet.
Yes.
Very wet.
And we'll leave you with that.
From the bottom to the top.
That's a wet-ass kumara.
ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.
Well, every year when it's bird of the year time and there's a seagull in the midst,
people are like, get out of it, seagull.
Just like you say that to a seagull when they're trying to get your chips in the arm. You're like, get out of it, seagull. Just like you say that to a seagull when they're trying to get your chips in the arm.
You're like, get out of it, seagull.
Pesky. Well, a
video that was shot right here in
Aotearoa in Dunedin
showed a man
holding a seagull outside
Macca's and the TikTok
I was kind of like scanning the
Stradigan burger and then went to the other hand and holding a bird.
A seagull in his hand.
That looks literally like it's been snatched out of the air.
Right.
Yeah.
So this has been viewed over 30 million times on TikTok.
What?
Ouch.
30 million times.
And the creator has 150,000 followers on TikTok now.
How do you follow, as a on TikTok now. How do you
follow, as a TikToker, how do
you follow that up? You've just got this
30 million. I always wonder about that. Because
you fluke that. Like you either
found a seagull that was injured and
let you pick it up or you snatched it
out of the air. You're not going to do
another video like that. Yeah.
This is where people just start doing
weird stuff on TikTok. Being like I'm panicking. My first one was such a hit and now I that. Yeah. This is where people just start doing weird stuff on TikTok
being like,
I'm panicking.
My first one was
such a hit and now I'm...
Yeah.
You're never following
that up.
Nah.
You're going to be
that band that had
that big first album
and then,
or single,
and then one hit
Wonders,
We Never See You Again.
Mambo No. 5.
Lou Bagger.
Lou Bagger.
We interviewed him
for Friday Jams.
Lovely guy.
Hell of a guy.
Still plays in Germany. Made me two of his other songs. Mambo No. We interviewed him for Friday Jams. Lovely guy. Hell of a guy. Still performs in Germany.
Made me two of his other songs.
Mambo No. 4 and then Mambo No. 6.
He did a prequel and then a sequel.
So it was shot by a guy called Taylor,
and he explained how it's happened.
Oh, okay.
He said,
they all started diving by me.
They were trying to get my chips.
I mean, this is classic seagull behavior.
No one here thinks he's lying at this stage, do they?
Because that's classic seagull behavior. One started coming towards my head, at this stage, do they? Because that's classic seagull behavior.
One started coming towards my head, so I ducked and put my hand up,
and I just grabbed it.
So I pulled out my phone.
I didn't mean to do it.
I'm quite scared of birds.
He also told a news outlet, the Otago Daily Times,
that he didn't hurt the bird, and he made sure it flew away safely.
You see that in the video.
I think he just throws it.
So it turns out, however, that was a red-billed seagull, which is the protected one.
Oh, no.
Doc is not happy.
There's a colony nearby, and it's the only colony in New Zealand that doesn't have declining
numbers.
So Doc have said they are disappointed by the video.
See, but to me, all seagulls look the same.
Same.
Is that seagullist?
I have to say, I went to the Albatross Sanctuary last year.
Those are different than a seagull because they're giant.
No, I know, but I didn't really realise
that they weren't just big seagulls.
But next, okay.
Right, okay.
You thought an albatross was a big seagull.
Well, it's a sea bird.
Yeah.
And they look similar.
They look so similar.
Come on.
It's not the most outrageous thing we've ever heard.
They glide on the wind.
They, that sort of jazz.
They're white-ish.
Yeah.
But while, yeah, all white things look the same.
When I was at the place, I was walking with the woman who manages this sanctuary.
And there were all these seagulls just like right next to the albatross sanctuary and I was like, oh, God, you must get annoyed with those pesky seagulls.
And she was like, no, they're protected.
So you would have been talking about these red bulls.
I was talking about like, let's get rid of them, you know.
You were ready to shotgun them all out of the, yeah, right.
Scare them away.
Yeah.
Chase them away. Shoo, shoo, get out of it. She told me that seagulls were yeah, right. Scare them away. Yeah. Chase them away.
Shoo, shoo, get out of it.
She told me that seagulls were her first passion before the albatross.
Okay, now that's not a, see, I can understand the albatross.
Wonderful.
Like the most, the wingspan, the seabird, the migratory situation.
They can navigate the blooming globe.
They love an arctic, an Antarctica flyby.
I know.
Seagulls aren't your first, your first passion seagulls, you got some questions.
That was quite good.
That was really good.
Yeah.
And while they were reminding people not to touch the birds
and don't stress them out by catching them.
Okay.
Also don't, they didn't evolve to eat human food.
They're not used to it and it can make them sick.
So stop feeding them bread and chips and such.
It's on them to be fair.
Yeah.
They want the chips. It's not as easy.
They're pining over it.
Why do they keep coming back? I know. I've
fed the same seagull multiple chips.
He loved it. Oh, yeah.
And I always, when I'm feeding seagulls
chips, you know, when you're done with the end of them,
you're like, you guys can have these. If there's
one who's not fighting, like he's getting sort of cut
out a little bit, I always just try to
get angry. if there's
one bully boy seagull in there
really dominating the chip. So don't
give them chips. Don't give them anything.
It's like when they said don't feed ducks bread. And I was like,
well, I've been raising a line. It's too late.
Yeah. Alright, well there you go.
Don't touch seagulls, please.
The red ones. The red-beaked
ones. No, don't touch any seagulls.
Don't touch any seagulls. Don't touch any seagulls.
Full stop.
The end.
Because they yuck the manky as well.
They're sea pigeons.
They are.
Yuck.
We all do pigeons.
If I see a bird outside though, I might give it a go.
Grab it.
Yeah.
Oh, is the message don't do that?
The message is don't grab it.
The message is don't grab that.
Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.
The podcast.
ZM.
Well, the government has announced the order in which we will all be vaccinated
this year with the Pfizer jab.
Fingers crossed.
Fingers crossed.
Hit me with it.
I like Taylor's ideas that are alphabetical.
Do you know what I mean?
Or a lottery.
But then you'll get so many newborn babies called Aaron, A-A.
Aaron Aardvark. Yeah. Aaron Aardvark. You know, like when you Google a plumber and they're like, A-A. Aaron Aardvark.
Yeah.
Aaron Aardvark.
You know, like when you Google a plumber and they're like,
A-A-A-A-A-A-A plumber, just because they want to be the first plumber.
And it's the only reason.
Well, group one will be the first group vaccinated.
Let's go through this list.
Now, this will be New Zealand's border and MIQ workers, 15,000,
and their household contacts.
That's already started, eh?
Already started. And that will be completed, hopefully,
by the end of March, by the sounds of things,
with at least one dose administered.
And then, obviously, the second dose is a few weeks later.
Right.
And then you've got a couple of weeks, and then you should be vaccinated.
And, like, stats from overseas looking like 93%, 95%.
I can't wait to be vaccinated.
Well, you're going to be waiting a while, judging by this list.
Am I not in the next group?
Group two is next.
It's been broken into subgroups.
Frontline healthcare non-border workers providing care
who could be exposed to the virus, like, I guess, nurses.
Nurses.
Frontline healthcare non-border workers who may expose vulnerable people.
That's us. Exposing vulnerable people. That's us.
Exposing vulnerable people.
I'm vulnerable.
At risk people in settings
with a high risk of transmission to COVID.
Anyone who lives in counties,
Monaco area,
who is 65 and older
with an underlying health condition
in group two,
you can get a vaccine.
That's about 480,000 Kiwis.
And that will be Feb to
May. Group three is the next
group. Now, this will be around
1.7 million New Zealanders
in this next group. People
aged 70 plus,
people aged 65 plus,
and then people with underlying health conditions
or disabilities. And then group
four, those are meant to start in May.
And then group four is the rest of New Zealand.
That's about two million people.
See, I'm alright with being group four.
It's like being called for the airplane.
You go last,
you're sitting down last.
Yeah, but then there's no overhead baggage space.
Oh, this is why I just shove everybody's shit
out of the way.
They're like, whose is this?
What do you put yours in row eight for?
You're sitting in six.
You've fitted in six.
There's no room in six.
This is not my problem, mate. I've fitted in 6. There's no way I'm in 6.
This is not my problem, mate.
I always just reshuffle everyone's stuff.
Do stack someone on other stuff.
Yeah, shove stuff around.
This is why it's fragile.
You're like, I don't give a goddamn.
Morn is a dilly-dallying boarder.
He doesn't get on the plane quick enough.
I'm straight on.
I dilly and then I dally.
You've got to enjoy the dilly. I've always said you've got to enjoy a dilly. I dilly and then I dilly. Yeah. I don't want to be in that line. You've got to enjoy the dilly.
I've always said you've got to enjoy the dilly.
Yeah. And take your time with the dilly.
Yeah. And sometimes
you do a dilly then the dilly.
Right. Finish up with the dilly. Start with the dilly.
I like to end with the dilly.
Do you like to end with the dilly?
Yeah. That's the thing I'm...
I always sort of jellied through the security
and then I dilly at the gate.
ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.
From the hard-to-find ZM think tank, this is the top six.
He's already tapping his watch.
That meant I'm in the third.
A property boom has propelled real estates
into New Zealand's top ten jobs list.
Real estates.
Real estate agents.
Nope, not anymore.
I've renamed them.
They're just called real estates.
You've left out a word there, Han.
You're the true agent.
So according to careers.co.nz, real estate agent was not ranked last year, but now it's 10.
Yeah.
My mum was a real estate agent in the 90s, early 2000s.
Oh, did she have a car phone?
She had a car phone.
Oh!
Yes.
And I've got a little bit of intel into the real estate industry,
a lot of partying.
Yeah.
And a lot of stress.
Yeah, right.
Yeah.
Well, your weekends are gone, right?
I mean, like, your weekdays maybe aren't as normal 9 to 5,
but weekends are just open homes. Oh, I couldn 9 to 5, but weekends are just open homes.
Oh, I couldn't imagine that.
Your weekends are just open homes.
Yeah.
And then you've got to deal with the admin of the open homes through the week.
Telling people to take their shoes off.
Oh my God.
I imagine there's wafting feet through the house that you're trying to sell.
So with the top six signs, maybe real estate's for you.
Okay.
Number six, do you like going to people's houses to see them
but only ever being there for maybe half an hour, 45 minutes
and mostly standing at the door telling people to take their shoes off?
That's you, that's you.
Real estate is for you.
Number five on the list of the top six signs real estate might be for you.
How do you feel about calling one friend and seeing what they want to do,
then calling another friend and seeing what they want to do
and realising that these people have drastically different ideas
of what they want to do and then just not calling anybody for a bit.
So they both start to panic about what's going to happen and maybe they're going to be left
out.
So then when you call the friends back, they're easier to negotiate with.
Yeah, good.
Yeah.
Specific.
Maybe real estate's for you.
Number four on the list of the top six signs real estate might be for you.
Do you sometimes look at the side of your car and think,
you know what, this car looks better, my giant face on the side.
Maybe real estate's for you.
Number three on the list of the top six signs real estate might be for you.
Do you always see the bright side of life? Like, do you see a picture of a tiny old cold house on the news?
You know, where someone's like, my landlord won't let me have an open window.
And you think,
oh, a cosy character heavy house
ready to become a home
for a lucky first-time buyer,
then yes,
real estate is for you.
Number two on the list
of the top six signs
real estate might be for you.
Are you really good
at pushing metal poles
into grassy berms
with little signs attached
to create a modern-day
urban treasure hunt
where the treasure at the end
ends up costing the hunter
a goddamn fortune for the rest of their life.
Then maybe real estate's for you.
Yes.
And number one on the list of the top six signs real estate might be for you.
Are you a used car salesperson that's ready to step up
from selling shitty overpriced cars to selling shitty overpriced houses?
Then real estate's for you.
That's today's top six.
ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.
Futurist.
I wish there was a title.
You know, like I wish it was my job title.
Futurist.
Hayley Sproul, Futurist.
But it would just be, you could be a Futurist.
It doesn't sound like it needs a qualification, right?
It's just somebody who predicts.
Well, Futurist to me sounds more like tarot cards.
Do you know what I mean?
I think mostly are they like kind of into economics.
Yeah.
This is definitely a bit more than some tarot cards.
And this person, a global futurist,
they're putting their money on the industries
and the jobs that they think are going to be most in demand.
I find this fascinating
like when they do articles
and they're like, here's what a futurist said in
1990 or 2000.
Oh yeah. And you're like, oh my god, that was so
right or they were a little bit off.
It'll be like 1970
the futurist said, humans in 2020
will be so busy they won't have time to
poop. There'll be little poop vacuums that just
suck the poop out of you.
Suck it out of you.
And we're still waiting for those.
I've been waiting.
Oh, no, I've got a protocol.
Oh, did you?
Yeah, Vaughn made one, and I'm the guinea pig.
Yeah, right.
Sucks it right out.
Yeah, I had to stop using the dice, and it ripped her inside out one day.
You know how I've got one kidney?
That's how I lost the one on the right.
Yeah, wrong hole.
I just sucked it straight out.
Anyway. I like that that's your go-to for where we the one on the right. Yeah. Wrong hole. I just sucked it straight out. Anyway.
I like that that's your go-to for where we should be in the future.
That.
There's priorities.
Yeah.
Wow.
God, it saves so much time.
Well, if COVID's left you wondering, is it time for a career change?
These top six future jobs that this futurist reckons will be booming
might help you decide
where you might go next.
And this is it
because you're going to
deal with this
in the top six soon.
Real estate agents,
people have flocked
to real estate.
Mostly because it's booming.
We've kind of had
two property booms
in a row.
Yeah.
Because I remember
the first time
a whole lot of people
got into real estate
and I was like,
but they're still there
and more people
have joined them.
Because that's sweet commission.
The higher our house prices go, the higher those sweet, sweet commissions.
And I know a lot of people wanted to join the police and they put a freeze on that in June.
Oh, right.
Because everybody was like, well, I've lost my job.
I don't know what to do.
We'll always need police.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And so that's the thing.
People are looking forward to careers that aren't going to fizzle out like we've experienced now.
Yeah.
Going, oh, I thought that was me sorted and actually people don't need that as much as I thought.
So a lot of this is based on COVID and how it has changed us as people.
So at the top of the list, I'll start at the bottom, shall I?
At the bottom of the list.
I like that you've been in radio just long enough to learn that you hook people in with the number one at the end.
Number six, robotic to human experts.
Is that sex robots?
No.
Well, you know, read it how you will.
Sex robots.
Your skills that you need to get into this industry, this job, IT, psychology, consumer behavior, robotic to human expertise.
What, so you would be training the robots?
Yeah, so it's all about bridging the gap between humans and technology
and however you might do that.
Oh, that's very scary.
You know, voice, command, this, this, this.
So it's not building the robots, it's training them.
Yeah, it's like the IT department now, right?
Right.
Computer to human and robot to...
Yeah.
Have you seen SpaceX?
You know, Elon Musk's.
Have you seen what they've got patrolling?
No.
One of those Boston Dynamics dog robots.
Oh, yeah.
At their SpaceX headquarters,
there's like two of those that like trot around.
Those things are scary.
I saw the photo.
I was like, something sinister is afoot.
This comes as no surprise to me, actually.
Number five on the list is the virtual influencer.
Okay.
So getting involved in whether it be social media influencing
or this, for example, a Japanese virtual rock star
who holds sold-out concerts online
could make up to $17.3 million New Zealand dollars a year.
A virtual...
Okay, right.
Crazy.
So you wouldn't...
They're not real, these rock stars.
Is that what you mean?
You...
No, no, they're real.
They're real, but they're global.
They don't do concerts in person.
Like gorillas.
They only do them online.
Right, yeah. Or they're a hologram in person. Like gorillas. They only do them online. Right, yeah.
Gorillas, the virtual band.
Or they're a hologram.
Yeah.
Okay.
Crazy.
And there was examples of like concerts happening
when lockdown was all a go-go.
Yeah.
There were concerts happening in games like Fortnite.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And a lot of bands have taken to like online selling tickets
for live sessions during COVID.
Yeah.
Well, that one's
probably the only one on this list that maybe I
could get into. Number four, surgical
assistant. I could do that. I've got no experience
but I'm brave. Isn't it just like
hey, I need the scalpel and you're like
which one's that? And then eventually over time
you learn which one's that and then
you just hand it to them. Yeah. To the who?
The robot. And you've got to suck the blood out of them, eh?
Like the dentist. Well, they're saying that becoming a specialist,
like a specialist surgeon, a brain surgeon, a heart surgeon,
the training for that can take up to 15 years.
Now, nobody wants to do that.
No.
You know?
No one wants to put the time in for the glory.
Nobody wants to do the time.
So assistance, which is you get trained in less time.
Right.
But you're still an integral part of the operating theatre.
Okay.
Number three, aged care workers.
Yeah, because I mean, think about like everybody's parents now,
they're going to need aged care in like 10, 15, 20 years.
Yeah, and we're just not dying like we used to.
You know what I mean?
Hanging on, eh?
We're just hanging in there.
Oh my gosh, you're still here.
So we need people to look after them.
Physiotherapists, chefs, gardeners.
Just, you know, lovely people to look after our elderly.
Number two, mental health workers.
Because we're all a bit.
Falling to bits.
After COVID, yeah.
We're all falling apart a bit after COVID.
Dare I say it was happening before that as well.
Yeah, totally.
It's been there for a long time. I think we're just being a bit more vocal about it. So the number one job in the future.
Very much related to number two, mental health workers, number two, number one,
the health and wellbeing industry. Yeah. Because we're all so frazzled and anxious.
And we're doing what I do every time, which is like, I'm on a health pause. I'm going to look after my mind.
I'm going to look after my body.
I'm going to spiritualize my being on the yoga mat.
And we need people to help us bend that way.
So health and well-being, wellness coaches, physiotherapists,
personal trainers, nutritionists, dietitians, we're coming for you.
Pyramids game, people selling you stuff
with absolutely no scientific backing
to do what it claims to do.
Anyway, so if you're at a job
that you think might just go poof into the future,
you could be one of those six things.
ZM's Fletchbourne and Megan, the podcast.
Fletchbourne and Megan's Community Notices.
Hello and welcome to Community Notices,
a segment of the show where we have a look at what's happening around New Zealand
on local Facebook pages.
Wow.
What's in that coffee that you've absolutely slopped down your shirt?
I've actually been looking at both of you.
What is this?
Oh, yeah.
Wait, have I got one?
No, you've got a...
I think this is beard oil because this hasn't dried.
Oh, yeah.
You need a hot wash to get that out.
No, I was laughing about the state of us today on a Thursday.
You've got slop down your shirt.
You've snapped your NZ me pass.
Oh, yeah, my lanyard.
I'm not going to be able to swipe it.
Your retractable lanyard.
Look at it.
It's not retractable anymore.
Hell of a day for the show.
We're really going through some struggles here.
What's going to happen to me?
I like drip on a shirt and a broken lanyard.
I'm next.
Put it up there with some of the worst things that happen to humanity.
Andrew wrote on the I Love Korore page.
Wellington, New Zealand.
I presume I'm not the only person who's come across a duck
wandering around Friends Street slash Parkvale Road.
Okay.
Twice in the last week, I've had to stop as a duck has waddled across the road in front of me very much at its own pace.
It's utterly oblivious to a car coming towards it.
Sod you, I'll cross the road as slowly as I please and you can just wait, said the duck as it looked at me.
And many people are reporting the duck.
Oh, okay.
Well, be careful, man.
Yeah, be very careful. That's just a warning to all the duck. Oh, okay. Well, be careful, man. Yeah, be very careful.
That's just a warning to all the residents.
Just drive slowly.
There's a duck on the road.
You don't want to hit a duck.
Oh, no.
As someone that's hit a duck.
Yeah.
You get a bit of guilt.
You get a bit of guilt.
Have you?
And then the feathers go everywhere.
And, yeah, I came around a corner and the duck was on the road.
I had to make a choice.
Do I save myself or do I save this duck?
You see, I'm a swerver.
No, don't.
Oh, don't swerve.
No, you can't.
Everything that I was taught
when I learned how to drive,
you never swerve for an animal.
No.
You've got to stay straight.
Yeah, stay straight.
I'm on the wrong side of the road.
You swerve for a moth.
She abandoned her car.
My mum,
when we were little kids,
going out in Nelson
to Rabbit Island,
mowed through a
family of ducks?
A family of little ducks
because again
you don't swerve.
You don't swerve.
You don't swerve.
Wow.
That's why I love ducks
so much now.
Why is your life
more important
than that of a duck?
Tell me that.
Ducks don't pay tax.
Is that all we're here
to do in life?
Pay tax.
Oh God.
Keep the societal machine pumping forward.
Unless you live in Dubai.
Yeah.
Or Gloryville.
That's true, yeah.
While we're on birds, Alan writes, is anybody else,
and I tell you what, we're still in Karore, by the way.
Oh, okay.
A beautiful suburb, I tell you what.
Alan writes, anyone else concerned by the eight plus,
meaning numbers, not age, but the eight plus, so there's eight or more seagulls that are newish to the area?
Horrible sight to see baby ducks being eaten by seagulls.
Any ideas to get rid of them?
Oh, my God, no wonder that duck's walking alone.
It's probably lost its family.
Its family was killed by the gang of gulls.
Do you know the other day I went walking around my new neighbourhood
and we walked a little bit further down, sort of, I guess,
towards Moisture, some sort of creek or something.
Like a lake or creek?
I don't know, an estuary it felt like.
Maybe a tidal mudflat?
Something like that.
You are in West Auckland, there's many a tidal mudflat.
I am.
And there were these houses and there was this one house
and their whole entire front yard
was covered in ducks.
And I'm talking like,
they're not right on the water.
Yeah, they're feeding the ducks.
They're feeding them.
But there was,
I've got to say there's like a hundred.
Yeah.
And they were all like,
wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.
Yeah, yeah.
I was like,
oh, that would drive me nuts.
But they're obviously
eating them too, right?
This was about 8.30 at night.
Imagine that.
Well, you'd start to think about your options for a duck pancake.
Oh, my God.
Have you had a duck barbecue pancake?
Oh, you know I have.
They're a different sort of duck.
That's a Peking duck.
Are they?
They're the white ducks.
Oh, I thought they were all the...
They're more of a farmed duck.
You can't just go to your local car.
You can't just rock any mallard into a duck pancake and expect it to be as delicious.
I mean, hoisin sauce is a spring onion and cucumber.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Half a bottle of hoisin and that
duck, it tastes fine.
Hoisin makes everything taste good.
You can hardly taste the parasites.
It's a hoisin pancake, let's be honest.
The duck is the vessel.
How good is hoisin sauce?
The duck is the vessel, it is.
Jen did comment on Alan's post
re the seagulls eating the ducklings.
It's awful to see when they eat
a baby duckling, but seagulls have their placelings it's awful to see when they eat a baby duckling
but seagulls have their place
on earth too Alan
we shouldn't want to
get rid of them
just because we don't like
seeing this
side note
Alan's cancelled
never go on a safari
no
no
yeah
that's what she said
so I don't know
yeah she was just trying
to weigh in
this one from the
this guy
when I first saw this
I thought this seems
innocent enough
but apparently
we have a serial
community
notice, nosy neighbour.
Oh, okay. Brooke,
Brooke E, actually, wrote on the Cambridge, New Zealand
grapevine, your online community and info
group, which is a long name.
Can someone please come jump
start me? She's obviously having car
battery issues. Yeah.
And Sue writes, again,
don't you have roadside
assist?
Oh, Sue.
Third party Brad
weighs in saying, can you please not be a smart ass
Sue? Somebody else says, Sue, obviously
not. That's why she's asking. Not everyone can afford
roadside assist. Now, I said,
shit, Sue's getting piled in on here.
Yeah. No, Sue's like comments
on everybody's posts
on community page when they're asking for
something. Like can anyone give me some advice?
Why don't you go and ask someone
like she's a real classic boomer
loves commenting on all the posts and
apparently very rarely
helpful at all.
And finally today from the Marlborough
cool cat chat page Rachel's just writes just want helpful at all. And finally today from the Marlborough Cool Cat Chat page,
Rachel just writes,
just want to shout out to the beautiful young man
who jumped off his bike to help us carry
a couch into our office on Scott Street
this morning. Oh, lovely. We forgot to
say thank you. If this is you,
please send me a message and I'll happily
marry you.
Just straight from
forgetting to say thank you to an indecent proposal. P.S. Straight from forgetting to say thank you
to an indecent proposal.
P.S. I'm new to town
so help a sister out.
People,
or this obviously
became quite a big thing
in Marlborough.
People wanted to know
if she got it
and she said,
unfortunately no,
have not found him yet.
And somebody said,
is this you Dave?
And Dave said,
it sounds like
something I do
except I can't ride a bike.
Oh, so it's not Dave.
So it's not Dave.
It might have been someone passing through on the way to the ferry.
Oh, no.
It's a lot of that.
A lot of transients.
But you would know their bike had those little saddlebags on it and they had a backpack.
You would know that they were more of a touring cyclist.
Yeah.
Passing through.
From a local A to B.
Those are today's community notices.
If you see anything on your local Facebook page, duck, seagull,
Sioux related, screen cap
and send it to us, FEMZM.
Any hoisin recipes
as well? Oh, you will take that.
I know, now we've got to get
duck pancakes. I know. I certainly
shan't be satisfied until there's a duck pancake
in my gob hole. I'm going to text Aaron
so when he wakes up he can take some meat out of the
freezer. I'm going to make some kind of hoisin based
dish tonight. Get one of those mallards out. Oh, I might just
get a mallard. I'll go down the road.
Walk down the road and strangle one of those
ducks for me. Do you guys want a mallard?
I'm going to get three.
Yeah, I mean if you're going.
If he's going, he's going. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The Podcast.
ZM's
$50,000 secret sound.
ZM's $50,000 secret sound currently at $40,000
and it's all thanks to Star streaming now on Disney+,
including more originals like Solar Opposites.
Learn more at DisneyPlus.com.
Soundkeeper Owls, good morning.
Morning.
How are we? I'm good, I'm good. Top notch. Yeah, you seem Owls, good morning. Morning. All right. How are we?
I'm good, I'm good.
Top notch.
Yeah, you seem okay.
My smoothie was too sweet.
If you're asking, I'm going to let you know.
I do love a smoothie, and a sweet smoothie, oh, yeah.
Oh, my God, could it be a blender?
Everything could be a clue.
We welcome Asti.
Good morning, Asti.
Hi, how are you going?
Good.
Now, you've managed to get through, so that means...
Oh, it is.
I mean, you've done the hardest bit.
You've done the hardest bit, getting through.
Because the phone lines start going crazy, like 15, 20...
Just millions of people calling through every day.
All at once.
Millions.
Five, six million.
Yeah, I think I've called a million times.
Wow.
It pays off.
Yeah, I love when people send screenshots
of their phone
recently called
and next to the number
is how many times
they've tried.
Oh, well,
welcome, Esty.
It looks a bit desperate.
Thank you.
Esty just got through.
It's $40,000.
Yeah, I know,
but like,
do you want to look
like a despo?
What I'm saying?
Yes.
You should play hard to get, Est should play hard to get, Asti.
You should make us call you.
I don't think that works.
That's not how it works.
Is this not dating?
Are we talking about dating?
No.
Asti, $40,000 cash.
You've got through.
You've done the hard bit.
Now you've just got to tell us for $40,000 what this sound is.
What is it?
I think it's the end of Disney Plus intro.
Okay.
All right.
So you think that we've worked in with our sponsor?
A slight product.
Yeah.
Star, stream me now on Disney Plus.
Yeah.
Right.
Okay.
That's interesting.
I don't know.
Do we have it?
I know the star goes across the top.
Yeah, for the Disney+, it's the plus,
and it goes across in that land.
Into the plus.
Just like it, I'm sure.
And Asti, have you heard the extended part two sound
on our TikTok?
Yes, I have.
Okay.
So she's got some, I don't know, ideas around it.
Cool.
Okay.
And on a scale of one to ten,
how confident are you with this guess?
I'm about nine.
I think it's next.
Wow.
Oh, that is high, Asti.
That's high.
Maybe play hard to get again, Asti.
Be like two.
It's whatever, you know?
It's cheap.
I don't need 40 grand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do that. It's not even about the, Asti. Be like, two, two. It's whatever, you know? It's cheap. Take a leave.
I don't need 40 grand.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do that.
It's not even about the money for me.
Say something like that, and then I'm just like, well, she needs it.
Yeah.
She doesn't want it.
Give it to her.
I can tell you now.
For $40,000, is that the secret sound?
It is not, Asti.
That's not the secret sound oh Asti
see
see
if you'd said you didn't care
oh yeah
that would so change things
it would have changed the outcome
Asti congratulations
$100
so for a wrong guess
and the next chance
is coming up
at 8 o'clock
ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan
the podcast
Barbie has revealed
their 2021 role
model for New Zealand. And I don't know if you can hear it in my voice, but I'm very excited.
I was an absolute Barbie fanatic growing up and I've kept them all and my parents aren't allowed
to throw them out. And of course, the 2021 role model for New Zealand this year is Karen Walker.
You're in studio, Karen. Nice to meet you. Hello. Good morning. How are you? Honestly, a bit shaky.
Do you want to tell Karen how many Barbies you own?
I have 52 Barbie dolls.
Wow.
They are all now, they're well loved, though.
It's not one of those collections where I would, you know,
they're not in the boxes, they're not on a wall.
They're in an old leather chest in my parents' garage.
And in different states, really, I've given a few haircuts.
Oh, everyone's cut the Barbies' hair.
We've all made that mistake.
But you're a Barbie doll now.
I am a Barbie doll.
How does that feel?
Can you believe it?
It's very, very strange.
So when you got the call or whatever the process is, and they said you are going to be our 2021 role model for Barbie, how did you feel?
Very aware of how big an honour it is.
There's only 50 or so people who've been made into Barbies.
Yes, including Dame Valerie Adams.
She was turned into a Barbie.
Yes, she was last year.
And Serena Williams, because they do it for each country, don't they?
Like a role model.
Yes.
And Serena Williams has been one.
I need to get these babies.
Naomi Osaka also.
How exciting.
So what's the process of, because what do they just bring you a couple of dolls
and they're like, is this enough of a look?
No, no.
They create the faces, kind kind of created, face and hair
and everything's created especially for.
So, you know, Barbie rings up and says
would you like to, you know, this great entree.
You go, yes please. And then
we worked
with Barbie's
development team, design team,
sent them a whole lot of imagery of
me and also of suggestions
for what she should wear.
Yeah.
And then they create it from there.
That's a big thing.
Athletes, like it would be tennis outfits.
Yeah.
But you're a fashion designer.
I do have tennis outfits,
but she is not wearing one of my tennis outfits.
So that's where your involvement would be more than the average person
because the clothes.
So did you say this is what I want her to be wearing?
Yes. Cool. because the clothes. So did you say this is what I want her to be wearing? Yes, we developed a design board
showing the outfit that we thought she should be wearing
and then their team went and made that
and presented back to us,
back and forth a little bit like any design process.
So I'm just looking at a picture of it online now,
of it, of you, of her.
What, I don't know, I'm confused.
And you've gone, it's quite a classic Karen Walker look.
Do you have that?
I have her here.
Do you want to see her?
Oh, come on.
Here she comes.
Oh, my God.
Here she comes.
Wow.
Okay, that's pretty incredible, isn't it?
It is astonishing.
Wow.
Can I touch you?
Can I touch you?
Don't cut the hair.
Can I touch you? The hair is astonishing. Wow. Can I touch it? Can I touch you? Don't cut the hair. Can I touch you?
The hair is incredible.
It's got your iconic grey streaks at the front,
which I just love.
Newly iconic.
Newly iconic.
Post-COVID iconic.
And these jeans, everyone knows these Karen Walker jeans.
Yeah, it's got the famous high-waisted flares
and the classic trench.
When I was just looking it up before,
I was like, I'm going to pop on the website
and get me a pair of those.
And I have said that I've got to stop shopping this week. It's a great trench too. It's a classic trench. When I was just looking it up before, I was like, I'm going to pop on the website and get me a pair of those. And I have said that I've got to stop shopping this week.
It's a great trench too.
It's a great trench.
What are your knees like?
I have full flexibility.
It's the luxury Barbie, bending ankles, bending knees.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fully articulating.
No expense.
Bad.
Good, good.
Yeah, good.
She's got that good stern fashion designer look.
Yeah.
Almost a sort of an Anna Wintour.
Yeah, like a 5% ice queen.
Yeah, it's a smize.
As opposed to Barbie.
She can put her hands on her hips and give her.
Oh, wow.
I got the attitude on it.
Is this like an absolute highlight in your career?
It really is.
Sorry, I forgot.
She's also got glasses.
I was going to say
if you're going to have a
accessory box of
little glasses. Multiple.
Wow. Three different pairs of glasses.
Are you going to do like a special range
that's like for humans
and for Barbies?
Is that an option?
Yeah. It has
been the topic of conversation in the design room for some time
because everybody's quite excited about it
and just how cute things look when they're miniaturised down to that.
Oh, my God, I just broke the glasses.
Hayley Sproul.
Hayley Sproul.
This is why I wasn't allowed.
Climbing nervous hands.
This is why I wasn't allowed Karen Walker glasses when I was young.
It's because my mum said I'd break them.
And look, you just broke them.
Oh my God.
Oh my God, that is so embarrassing.
That's why she's got three pairs.
I don't know whether to apologise to you or to little Karen.
Why were you trying to pry those open?
She was trying to put them on.
They're too small for you.
They're a Barbie size.
Everyone knows if you get Karen Walker sunglasses,
you have to have insurance.
Did you have Barbies growing up?
I had three Barbies growing up.
And did you, like, design clothes for them?
Did you make anything for them?
Yes, yes.
That's actually how I became a fashion designer.
I made a skirt for my Barbie when I was six.
And I was like, oh, this is easy.
Was it your traditional circle skirt elastic band?
Circle skirt, brown leather belt.
Oh, the belt.
So that's where you became a fashion designer
and I didn't.
I made a faux leopard print sack dress.
Oh, that sounds horrible.
It was horrendous.
Like, put her near a candle and she's ablaze.
And it had this little tie
waist thing. Well,
I don't know if those can be glued
or what we do now.
Many apologies for...
It just adds to her rich
story. Yeah, yeah.
I nearly broke the other one. Remember the first time I met Karen Walker
and her barber and I was all excited about barbers and then
I smashed the glasses. I told you I and her Barbie and I was all excited about Barbies and then I smashed the glasses.
I told you I would be shaky and I would be nervous.
You ruined everything.
A fan of Karen Walker and a fan of Barbie.
Karen, this is so exciting.
And can you buy them?
You can buy them, can't you?
No, it's a one of a kind.
She stays with me.
So you've broken a one of a kind Barbie's glasses.
Yes.
Is this the only one in the world?
Yes.
Oh my God.
Well. I'm God. Well.
I'm sorry, Karen.
I'm sorry, Barbara.
She's only temporary.
I'm sorry, Mattel.
It's quite all right.
It's quite all right.
That's why she has two more pairs.
No, I'm going to make,
I'm going to make,
I'm going to have to make some.
Oh, don't.
That's my after.
Just leave it.
Just leave it.
That's worse.
Yep.
Karen Walker,
thank you so much
for joining us this morning.
Thank you for having me.
ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast.
Well, if you've just joined us, moments ago we had fashion icon Karen Walker in studio.
And Barbie role model Karen Walker.
Yeah.
And Barbie made to look like Karen Walker.
Barbie Karen Walker.
And Karen Walker had a little box of all the sunglasses that can go on the Barbie.
Oh, you mean the sunglasses that Karen Walker is so famous for?
Yes, yeah, and you broke.
And I can say broke, Hayley Sproul.
She did Karen's worldwide great justice there because she didn't lose her mind, did she?
No, she was great.
She was good about it.
She said, don't worry about it, Hayley.
We've got lots.
I know, but she was on air.
I mean, she only had two other pairs.
So I feel like you did break a third
of her glasses. I know. And then if you go,
I've been now looking at all the marketing
for this doll. Well, not marketing,
but, you know, the
promotional shoot of Karen
with this doll and the glasses on the
doll are the ones they broke.
So,
Karen was hanging around during the ad break and,. So, Karen was hanging
around during the ad break
and, you know, there was a bit of chat. I just want to start, though,
by highlighting something from the
interview that we just had with Karen Walker.
These jeans, everyone knows
these Karen Walker jeans. Yeah, it's got the
famous high-waisted flares
and the classic trench. When I was just
looking it up before, I was like, I'm just going to pop on the website and get me
a pair of those. And I have said that I've got to stop shopping this week.
It's a great trench too.
Now, that was on air during the interview.
Now, Hayley, I don't know if you know this,
but when we're off air,
the mics are always recording.
Are they?
To a computer.
Yeah.
Oh no, what's going to happen?
Well, Vaughan and I just noticed something
that was a little, it was a little,
would you say, Vaughan, it was a little awkward?
Not quite the right word.
I'm not quite sure what the right word would be.
A bit more like that.
A bit more like that.
It was a bit of fishing.
If you saw the bait get put on the hook with the, oh, these jeans and the trench.
They're so good.
I was not prepared to watch the bait.
I was not trying to get Karen
to give me a pair of her jeans.
Oh, really?
Well, let's see what the listeners decide
because this was during the ad break in studio.
Yeah, look, I was just on your website
looking for your jeans.
Oh, yes.
Is that the parka that it's based on, kind of?
Yeah.
Oh, that's the trench coat.
And then just kind of a faux next to you now.
Oh yeah.
These ones?
Yeah.
That's so good.
Have a look at the back image.
Oh yeah.
Oh my gosh.
Oh wow.
Oh, it's so good.
Stop it.
Can you look at the top image with the pockets at the top?
Oh, it's so good.
They're so cool. It's so good. Oh, it's so good. They're so cool.
It's so good.
Oh, that's so cool.
Yeah, they've done an incredible job.
All right, Janes, add to cart.
I've been on a shopping frenzy.
Oh, where's my discount?
I was not.
It's so good.
I was panicking.
I've just broken her one-off doll.
The least I can do is buy a $400 pair of jeans.
You broke glasses that probably cost two cents to make,
and the only fair thing to do is to spend $400 on some pants.
Oh, no.
I went out to the producer's booth after the interview finished,
and I said, was it just me, or was Hayley totally fishing
for a discount on St Karen Walker?
After breaking her
iconic doll, I was
not fishing for a discount. Three times.
Add to cart. It would have been good if you'd been like, add to cart.
In all honesty, they are a very
cute, famous pair of jeans.
They're quite expensive.
Says to put in a discount code if I've got one.
I don't have one,
Karen, do I? I just don't know.
A play code?
I just don't know if I'm going to ever live this down.
The whole thing is a nightmare.
Live down the fishing for a discount or living down the breaking of your glasses?
Oh, we're both now.
Karen Walker, I'm so sorry.
You might have to try with Trillis Cooper, mate.
I think you're...
She's a doll?
Fashion designer.
I'm just going to keep my hands to myself.
I'm hands...
ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Sheva Doll? Fashion designer. I'm just going to keep my hands to myself. I'm hands.
ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.
TikToker Maggie Clayton wanted to do something a little sexy for her man.
And it went about as wrong as it possibly could go.
I have this super cute lingerie.
And I thought it would be fun to put it on and wait for my husband to come home and get his reaction.
I haven't worn lingerie in years, guys.
I got it on, and he should be home soon.
Okay, he's home.
Are we ready?
Oh, s***!
I didn't know you were going to be home!
Is that her dad?
That is her father-in-law.
Oh, okay, wow. That is her husband's father.
And that just meant, oh, my God,
I just can't even imagine if this was to happen to me.
They live together.
She said, I didn't know you were coming home.
Ah, shit, yeah, what's going on here?
I don't know.
And also, like, if her husband hasn't seen her in lingerie for years,
also, like, videoing his reaction is asking for trouble
because he might be shocked and then she's been like,
well, you're not going to upload that if he's like, eh.
He might have had a bad day and just been like, can you?
Seeing, like, that would be, yeah.
I don't think I've seen any of my other extended family
or in-law family nud nudie, nudie rudie.
No.
And I lived with my fiance Aaron's family
for about a year when I first moved to Auckland.
There was none of that.
I used to just do a little dart,
a little dart from the shower to the...
What would you be semi-clothed and doing a dart?
Yeah.
Oh, no.
Because their house is like split in two.
Oh, right.
Okay.
And I was always up quite early. Yeah. Have no. Because their house is like split in two. Oh right, okay. And I was always up quite early.
Yeah, have you guys
seen any of it? No.
Thankfully. No.
Good. Keep it to that one. It would be one of those things
that's burnt into your memory though.
Christmas would be awkward. Especially with
like, if it was something I almost would prefer
accidentally catching
someone out of the shower and being like, oh!
It's the vulnerability of doing something overtly sexy,
you know, in a sexy little negligee or something.
And then your father-in-law seeing that.
That's worse.
That for me is worse.
That's worse than just getting out of the shower
and they accidentally see you.
Yeah, so I wanted to ask you guys listening,
have you ever accidentally seen someone naked
that you absolutely listening, have you ever accidentally seen someone naked that you absolutely shouldn't
have? Or seen them in a
compromising state
of undress, shall we say?
Perhaps you
just wandered in on someone or perhaps
they had, like this poor thing,
got themselves all set up
for someone that wasn't you and you saw it.
Alright, well, share with us now
0800 DALES AND MAT-M-9696.
Who have you seen naked
that you accidentally,
you shouldn't have.
You shouldn't have.
You just shouldn't have seen naked.
And now you...
That's in your brain forever.
Yeah, and I love that
people have probably pushed that
down into their
forget-about-memory.
I reckon it comes out.
And now we're dredging it up.
Every time you see your father-in-law,
you're like,
hello, Christmas,
and you give a hug and you're like, naked. In the back of your mind, you're like, I've seen his out. And now we're dredging it up. Every time you see your father-in-law, you're like, hello, Christmas. And you give a hug and you're like, naked.
In the back of your mind, you're like, I've seen his penis.
Yeah.
It's all it's thinking.
Seen his penis.
Seen his penis.
All right.
Who have you accidentally seen naked?
ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.
We want to know who you've accidentally seen naked.
Yes, this poor soul on TikTok.
She was getting herself all gussied up for her hubby
just to surprise him after a long day at work.
And who's she walking but her father-in-law.
Which honestly makes me want to crawl out of my own skin.
She wasn't naked.
She wasn't naked.
She was in the sexy lingerie.
Lingerie.
Lingerie.
It was clean lingerie.
Lingerie.
Yeah, and he came in and horror ensued.
Father-in-law seemed to be the order of the day
when it comes to seeing people naked that you didn't want to see naked.
Somebody said my father-in-law at the local pool
dived in and hopped out and was walking around.
He didn't realise the dive had disturbed the tog.
Oh, no.
His balls were hanging out. He didn't realise that. The dive had disturbed the tog. Oh, no. Somewhat.
His balls were hanging out.
Robin, who did you accidentally see naked that you shouldn't have?
My father.
Oh, no. Oh, Robin, I'm so sorry.
You're a hamper.
Everyone saw their fathers nude when they were, like, kids, though, right?
Everyone was just bouting around naked when they were, like, under.
Like, pre-pubescent
not adults yeah no not as an adult well when you're a 14 year old girl it's not really the
first thing that you want to see in the morning what happened so i was like so our um house has
a separate toilet in the bathroom right next to it on the door so i've just gone to the toilet
no worries yeah go to open the door because it's unlocked. And then I open the door and there is my father
butt-ass naked.
I can see the front of him
about to get in the shower.
No!
Wow.
Touch the door
and I was like,
no way did that just happen.
And you're right.
I've got that exact image
right now on my head.
Do you guys,
do you guys,
I'm 28.
You're 28 now?
Did you ever talk about it?
Do you talk about it?
Yeah.
No, absolutely not.
It was just like,
also I did,
and then just carried on with our lives.
Carried on with our lives!
But then you've still got that
burnt into your memory.
Robin,
thank you for sharing.
Michaela,
who did you accidentally see naked
that you shouldn't have?
So it wasn't me,
but it was my partner.
Okay.
So it was in here for about three years.
This was about a year ago.
My mum was home alone.
She was blasting the music in the lounge.
She was in the bathroom, butt naked.
She had her leg up on the sink and was shaving her legs.
Callum came home.
Hello, hello, hello.
She walked down and, yeah, it's cut for life.
Hang on.
Wow.
This is next level because not only are you nude and shaving,
but your leg is up.
Up, see Doodle Dandy, up on that sink.
Yeah.
Wow.
And did he talk about it?
Oh, mate, he was scarred.
He was scarred.
I want to say this relationship's not going to last.
I'm sorry, but you can't shake off something like that.
No, I know, but I mean, this was about a year and a half ago,
and he's still there.
He's still hanging out.
Yeah.
Brilliant, Michaela.
Thanks for your call.
Baza, who did you accidentally see naked that you shouldn't have?
My grandmother.
Oh, dear.
Oh, no.
I was about seven or eight, and she was looking after me, Grandmother. Oh, dear. Oh, no.
I was about seven or eight, and she was looking after me.
Happened to be in her room, and she wanted to get changed,
so she said turn around and pulled her top off,
and I just happened to be facing her dressing table mirror.
Oh, shit. And I kind of got the shock of my life.
I didn't know breasts could get so low.
Oh, Nana.
Wow.
She gave those breasts so that you could have life one day.
She did.
Bazza, thanks.
You call me.
A couple of texts to finish up.
Somebody said, I haven't seen this person naked,
but I felt them naked.
Here's the story.
I had a fight with my boyfriend, told him to F off,
went to the spare bedroom.
So, you know, quite a feisty confrontation there.
I felt very bad lately.
I thought I would go and apologize.
I ran down the hallway to the spare room and I jumped into bed
and I scooped him behind him and I spooned him,
proceeding to push in quite hard and feel.
And then I said, sorry, babe.
And the voice that came back and said, you have the wrong room, it was my father-in-law.
So I hadn't seen him naked because it was dark and under the covers,
but I'd certainly grabbed a handful.
Oh my God.
I just want to dive embarrassment for her.
That's it. Game over. You're out of that family.
You've got to leave.
You've got to leave.
No matter how much in love you are with your partner, you've got to go.
ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. family. You've got to leave. No matter how much in love you are with your partner, you've got to go. He drives
five days of the year tops.
It's rude.
Also, don't say that like it's a bad thing.
No, no, no.
It's not a bad thing.
Yeah, well, I live in the city.
I don't have a car.
Yeah.
And you're an eco-hero.
Yeah, I'm an eco-hero.
I've got the ones you swipe into.
City hop.
Do other cities have city hop?
Yes, they do.
So basically
it's a bunch of cars
not owned by
owned by a business
like lime scooters
but cars, right?
Yeah, basically, yeah.
How do they have insurance on that?
Well, it's all part of the
what you pay an hour.
It's like
anywhere between
$8.50, $12.50 an hour
and then per K.
So you wouldn't take them on
like a South Island roadie.
No.
But just a zip around
like go to the supermarket
like yesterday
I had to pick up some cat food for Major Murray Fl roadie. No. But just to zip around, like go to the supermarket. Like yesterday,
I had to pick up some cat food for Major Murray Fluffington.
Right.
So that's why I was driving.
And I did comment on something
that frustrated me.
But your time spent as a pedestrian
versus your time spent as a car driver,
wildly in favour of pedestrian.
But you walk to and from work, you walk most places.
So this surprised me that this got you so angry in a small time driving.
Okay, well, you've set me off.
I am a conscientious, a conscientious.
A conscientious.
Conscientious.
Conscientious.
Why can't I say that word?
I've said it before Conscientious
You're making it too easy
Conscientious
I'm a thoughtful pedestrian
For example, yesterday when I was driving
I noticed in the distance
Somebody pressed the
Pedestrian cross button
To cross at the traffic lights.
Oh, COVID.
But there were no cars and they jaywalked anyway. And then when I got to the traffic
light, it went red and no one was crossing.
But you had to wait because it was red.
Whereas if that was me, I wouldn't press the button. I would firstly think, can I jaywalk
without inconveniencing traffic?
But don't you do it habitually? I do when I come up
to roads. No! I don't want to touch
that. Did you not see the TikTok or the
video of someone urinating on the button?
Yeah, that's right. They're just straight up
peeing on it. Don't touch those things.
I kick them. Yeah, or I'll use
my phone or the back of my hand if I
have to. Or a knee or something. But if
you're going to always first
think, can I jaywalk without stopping the line of traffic?
It's a busy, busy world we live in.
We don't have time to be stopping and thinking about other people.
Even sometimes I'll get to the left and right and I'll think,
okay, soon I'll be able to jaywalk quicker than turning on the traffic lights.
Are you this perfect?
Absolutely.
He's a very efficient man.
And then so when I get inconvenience for one person who wants to cross the road, unbelievable.
So when you get to the lights, because this happens quite a lot.
Oh, I stare at them with this look like, did you need to do that?
Yeah, like, don't you jaywalk now that you've pushed that button?
Oh my God, and don't even get me started on people that push the button and they're not even crossing.
They're just walking past it and love pushing the button.
I push the button and then change my love pushing the button. I push the button
and then change my
mind all the time.
I push a button
across the road and
I'll be like,
actually I'm going
to cross over here.
Like at a T
intersection.
I'll be like,
I'm going to cross
this way.
If you're at a T,
I'll hit both.
If it goes first,
I'll be like,
I'm going this way.
No, because then
you're making the
other traffic stop
longer.
Maybe a couple,
who cares?
If you're crossing
diagonally at a T
and you do that,
you push both,
you have to also make a judgement, call it your next stop. If there's somebody already waiting there who's pushed the button, you're crossing diagonally at a T and you do that, you push both. You have to also make a judgment call at your next stop.
If there's somebody already waiting there who's pushed the button,
you're likely to get across with them quicker than if you ended up at a blank one
where you have to push the button first.
But then again, you could just jaywalk faster.
I'm a big fan of jaywalking.
Jaywalking's not illegal.
Dangerous.
I believe it is.
It's not like it is in America, though, where they're like, they'll actually ticket you.
Shoot you.
I'll jaywalk in front of the cop cars all the time.
What up?
Morning, officer.
Will you do that with your fingers?
Will you rip them in the fingers?
Yeah.
It's very disrespectful.
One of the boys that come around the corner
will just be like, boom.
Yeah, I think that can ticket you.
Suck on that.
We've just been...
Producer Jarrah's just been frantically searching
for an answer to that.
Okay.
Jaywalking is still a crime in New Zealand,
punishable by a $35 fine.
I'm happy to pay $35 if I don't have to wait.
Yeah.
I'll pay $35 every time I cross the road.
I always think that when I snake through an orange,
I'm like, would I be happy to pay for the one minute I've saved here?
Well, I got one of those bus lanes.
You got a bus lane, didn't you?
Because, you know, when you're coming out of the TVNZ car park
or the Sky City onto Hobson Street,
which is the street in Auckland that leads to all the motorways,
you come out, you're in the bus lane,
and you're supposed to merge as soon as possible.
Did they ticket there?
They ticketed me there.
That's a douchebag move because there's scaffolding everywhere at the moment.
Yeah, and you can't get out
into the traffic
so you've got to get out
and then you've got to
slowly get in.
So the time that I was
in the bus lane,
I might have pushed a little bit
and driven up the bus lane
for a little bit.
So what you're saying
is you totally deserve
that ticket.
I've argued bus lane tickets
before have been like,
I remember when I worked
at Toronto and Penn
years ago and I was like,
nah, I would never,
I've worked there for years, I've never done that and they sent me a photo
and you can see my face
like this and it's
9.07 on a
studio day and I'm late.
And then I was like, here's my $150.
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