ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 11th May 2020

Episode Date: May 10, 2020

Quinoa Pancakes  Bluff or Stuff  Wakey Wakey Eggs n Bacey!  Dr Kimberley Norris  Vaughan Smith: Instagram Elite MemberSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. All thanks to McCafe. Get a delicious barista-made coffee from Macca's drive-thru today. ZM. Hit music. Lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

Good morning. Good morning. Oh, Smithy's got a headphone tangle. Yeah, and I was just looking into personal massages. And not those ones that are, you know, wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Not those old ones from the 90s that went brrrr and you rub them on your neck. But they were purse-sized. Those ones that look like you're getting slammed with.

Yeah, those are for a secret market. Yeah, those were. Well, they were dual use at the very least. But no, I'm talking about those ones you hold and they pound you. Like that thing comes out and it goes... I've seen...

Yeah. They look like a little handheld drill. Yeah. But this thing is like a jackhammer with a massage-y point at the end.

Like a hard softball on the end. And it goes... You can see one of those little pins that you just click on a sorbet. You know, you put it on and you go click

and it's gone. I've seen the infomercial for them. Yeah. That's bullshit, isn't it? I don't know. I don't know. I always found that was some rakey nonsense.

This is what I've got. It's like a, it looks like a game show buzzer. Yeah. But you hold it and it's got a ball in it. Yeah. And you just put it on your neck.

And you push. Yeah. Cool. But have you seen these ones that go boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. But aren't those like a million dollars? No, they're not that. No, not really. Because that was my biggest.

The thing about them is they look like they cost a million dollars, but they also look like the world's most ravaging sex toy, don't they? They look like they should be called the Destroyer or something. Yeah. But I saw someone using one and I was like, aren't they actually good? Right. Or is this just a big ploy?

Yeah. And they're like, oh, no, they are amazing. Really? But any saw, because you don't have to be hammering it. You can dial it down a little bit. Oh, okay. You know my little zapper. I've got a little zapper that zaps your muscles.

Oh, have you got one of those? It's actually really good. The Dr. Ho. Yeah. Zippy zappy. Yeah. What does it do? You can turn it up or down.

You put it on whatever point you want to, on your back, or you can put it on your leg or a sore bit, and then you turn up the zapper. You juice it up. Yeah, right. And it makes your muscles tense, and then you don't have a choice on whether or not you're tensing. It's just happening. Oh, that sounds like torture. Yeah, right. It makes your muscles tense. And then, like, you don't have a choice on whether or not you're tensing.

It's just happening. Oh, that sounds like torture. But it's good for you, right? No, it's good. It feels good. I'll bring it in for you. Just really. Yeah, because I slept funny.

Now I've got this bloody neck and a headache. You can't get a massage. No, usually, exactly. I just pop on down to my local Thai massage. Yep. And Thailand also are taking a lot of credit for the Southeast Asian Massage, aren't they? They really are.

We invented that. And it would be sort of lickety split. But what I've got here is a problem with my hands because are they even going to be able to go get a rub in level two? They are. They're going to have to put a plastic sheet up between you and them. And then use the plastic sheet to massage you.

No. Well, you'll find out today when you can go and get that done. That would be... Tova O'Brien would make my day if she stands up

and she's like, where are we at with time massages? All would be forgiven, Tova. Maybe you should message her. Yes. Say, I've got a question for today's press conference.

I'd love to hear her response. Who was it? A journalist. I saw on Twitter they said that their friend said to them, can you ask the Prime Minister when, like, threesomes are going to be legit again? Because I've got this one lined up and it's been, like, on the simmer for a few weeks. Oh, okay. And I need to know if we can chuck a date on that one.

Yeah, right. Okay. I mean, we asked her about Tinder on Friday, didn't we? And she said no. Yeah, no, I don't think... Level one, are you ever going to be okay with threesomes? Are these people in your bubble? You know?

Sounds like three bubbles there. Three, yeah. A Venn diagram of what goes where. We've got the top six coming up on the show before seven this morning. Yeah, so I need to learn more, but apparently anybody can be a courier these days, due to the backlog. Well, yeah, they're needing couriers to help out with the influx.

But not just any Tom, Dick or Harry could be a courier. I've got six tricks to being a hot courier. All right, it's coming up. And eight ways coronavirus has changed our spending. Maybe you're getting a do-do-do-do-do-do massager. Does that have anything to do with the courier influx, your list? Yeah. Sure.

Flesh for an American. The podcast. ZM. See, fastest turnaround from Facebook advertising listening to us. You have just been targeted for those massage guns. That's mad. That was literally like three minutes ago. I honestly don't even know if I refreshed the page

or if it was like refresh it for him. I don't think I refreshed it. How much is that massage gun? That one's the top dog. So I don't know if myrecoverytips.com's got some sort of supply agreement with craft gun. Right. But you can only get it from their website.

But this seems to be across the, agreed upon a really good one. $249. Or if you buy two of them, they come down to $199 each. Right. Why? Do you want one of us to buy one? God, the US dollar at the moment, that gets you when you're shopping, eh? Is it really bad?

Don't bother. Oh, and you know how they chart? Because I use, what's that, U Shop? Oh, yeah. NZ Post thing. Now that they do GST on shopping, you've got to upload your invoice, you've got to pay. Last time I was using that. Really?

Too hard basket. Yeah. What did you buy from overseas? Pay tax. I assume it was something no New Zealand manufacturer can make. It absolutely was worn, yes, but I'm not telling you. Oh. The Satisfyer Pro 2 for him.

You can absolutely get that from New Zealand. I didn't buy a Satisfyer Pro 2 for him. Do they make them for him? I don't know. You're just assuming. That's unfair if they don't. Sexist. You can just try the Satisfyer Pro 2 for her on you.

I don't have the bits though. You've got our bit. You've got three bits. Work out how to do it. Nipples. Well, anyway. Were you counting nipples? Bart, balls, dick.

No, I counted those as... Nipples, nipples, nipples. Guys, scientists. His one and then the two hangers on. Yeah, right. I counted those individually. Yeah. They're a pair.

They go everywhere together. They're a set. Scientists are warning that going to sleep even a few minutes past your normal bedtime could be bad to you. Now, they have collected data from Fitbits and devices. Who sleeps with their Fitbit on?

Who sleeps with their smartwatch on? That's when you charge it. You take it off when you go to bed and you charge it. When are you charging it otherwise? You've got to suck every sweet step you can out of your day. You put it on as soon as you get up and you leave it on all day. It's probably more the fact that you are taking it off and you are not moving.

Right. Whereas, you know, before bedtime you are moving around. So they have found that straying from your set bedtime by even just a few minutes could increase your risk of heart disease. But how do they know when my set bedtime is if I'm always all, like, you know, who goes to bed at exactly

on the minute? Well, I guess they say here they looked at the relationship between regular sleep patterns and resting heart rate. They collected data from Fitbits, worn by university students over the course of four years measuring bedtime, sleep and resting heart rates. So they analyzed over a quarter of a million sleep patterns or sessions. And the normal bedtime was defined as one as a one hour interval during which each time is the person usually asleep about 9 to 10 p.m.

Right. How do they know that it's the late night that's giving me heart issues and not the early mornings? Or everything you're eating or drinking before that. Well, they found that those who went to bed even one minute outside their usual bedtime had an increased resting heart rate that night and into the following day. Wow.

Isn't that crazy? Yeah. Especially when you consider how messed up our sleeping patterns have become staying at home a lot lately. Or the last six years of doing breakfast right now. It was so... Which is slowly killing us and I don't think we're being a... What do you call it?

See, my brain doesn't even work anymore. It was too easy to just start waking up at nine o'clock in the morning. Piece of cake. Oh, it's easy. Just on our wee holiday. Are you with me, a morning person? Absolutely not.

Every day is a struggle, my friend. All right, 13 past six. Next, the eight ways coronavirus has changed our spending. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Crazy stats. The global pandemic is crazy, but we're getting. Crazy stats. Like the global pandemic is crazy, but we're getting some mega stats. And this one is on people's spending.

So how we're spending has completely changed, obviously. And there's been a list of eight ways that they've noticed so far. Right. So this is globally. A third of us are stress spending. Yeah, right. Going online and...

What is stress spending? Well... I guess you want to treat yourself to some shopping. Or some drinkies. Drinkies or treats. Or treats at the supermarket. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't think about that.

Yeah. You're like, well, why not? I'm stressed. I just need to make myself feel better. So a third of people are stress spending. Entertainment and alcohol are making up half of all non-essential spending. So I guess. I just did an alcohol order on Friday.

Did you? Did you? Refilled a drink trolley. I was out of gin. You know I don't drink that much, but what we did have has been absolutely decimated. Yeah. I am.

Shade said, how many drinks do you think you've had tonight? That's a trap. I know. And I was like, oh, four standard drinks? And she was like, and we sat down and worked it out. It was more like nine. And I was like, wow. I just totally lose track.

Okay. So when I said I'd be upping my drinking, I was talking like having one a day. Them rookie numbers, baby. You're not going to die early with a good-looking face if you carry on like that. You're going to live an oldie, hang on. Yeah, okay. So yeah, alcohol and entertainment,

but also you imagine everyone who's, you're getting on to every platform like Disney Plus, Netflix, you've got to pay for all of them. You bloody talked me into that YouTube premium. Did you get it? Did you get it? It changes your life. It's so good not having ads again.

I wanted to, we stopped playing for Calm. Have you ever had that app Calm? Yeah. And it's pretty good, but for some reason, one $80 chunk for a year for Calm. What?

As soon as I found out you had to pay for it, I didn't download it. What is this app that you pay $80 for? So you pay $80 for a year. Yeah. Which when you have to pay

one chunk of $80, you're like, phenomenal amount of money. Yeah. I don't know, all of a sudden it appeared on my phone because Sharlay and I have got a joint iTunes account. And I was like, what's this? And it's actually really good.

Like you listen to this like calming stuff. It walks you through a bit of like meditation stuff. Right. Helps you get to sleep. Because you know, like an owl, anyone that gets up early, it's a real roll of the dice having an afternoon nap. Yeah. Real roll of the dice.

And then sometimes it gets to nine o'clock and you can't get to sleep again. Yeah. So this would help you, it does the breathing and everything. Right. And it was pretty good

but then it came out for a new and I was like, nah. So I axed it. Yeah. So then I was looking for some sort of sound like that over the weekend

that I could listen to. Yeah. To help me get to sleep. Oh, YouTube. How's it to YouTube? For free. But you can't lock your phone. Yes, but with premium you can.

And so I was like, do you want to try it? Yeah. And so it opens up the specific YouTube music situation. However, I'm probably going to cancel it after the free month. Yeah.

Because it's $20 a month. Whoa. For premium. Yeah. $20.99 a month. Yeah, I know. I was like, that is the most expensive streaming service I've got. We watch more YouTube, the kids watch more YouTube than anybody else.

And the other day, there was a very inappropriate ad on before a kid's thing. So I said to them, have you noticed no ads today? And they're like, yeah, the videos just start straight away. And I was like, oh, okay. So they watch so much YouTube. I swear I didn't pay that much. What did you pay? It's a free month. And then it's $29. It. So they watch so much YouTube. I swear I didn't pay that much. What did you pay? It's a free month and then it's $20.

It just said free and then something else. And I was like, okay, check it, man. It's $20.99. I'm about to get charged and probably cancel that. Because, Lord, absolutely not. Calm got axed and that got added. So I'm just paying for every streaming service there is at the moment. Well, online shopping is up 60%. So they measured this with this

like April 25th, the same weeks as the previous year, and it's up 60%. It's the only way we could shop for a period. Hand sanitizer sales grew. I feel like we all knew that. Yeah, that would be the one item. Frozen items are the most purchased foods.

Frozen items? I guess frozen veggies as well. Yeah. If you're buying vegetables and you're just good in teachers. Yeah, that would be the only thing I buy from the frozen foods. What about meat? Frozen meats? Nah, I'll just buy.

You buy it as you need it. Just buy it as I need it. Yeah, right. Oh, and I buy dumplings. There's some good dumplings at the supermarket. Yeah, and ice. Oh, and I don't really. How good are just dumplings? Dumplings are so great. I feel I was robbed. Have you cream? There's some good dumplings at the supermarket. Yeah, and ice cream. Oh, and I don't really... How good are just dumplings?

Dumplings are so great. I feel like I was robbed... Have you got a bamboo steamer? No. Oh, well, how do you cook them? Just in the fry pan. Oh, you do it like a fry... And you put the lid over.

Pop stickers. Yeah, do you put water in there as well? Yeah, you put water in. A little bit of oil and a little water. Yeah. And then the water boils off. Yeah. And then you fry them.

Yeah. Best way. Pan fried dumplings? Yeah, pan fried. Yes, yes, yes water boils off and then you fry them. Yeah. Best way. Pan fried dumplings? Yeah, pan fried. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I feel like I was robbed of an aspect of my childhood. My parents would never

have had dumplings. Yeah. We never had avocados. We never had Mexican. We had potatoes. Plain white family there. Rural family. Oh my goodness.

A quarter of shoppers are buying more from local businesses. That's a good stat. Yeah, good. And spending on transport is way down. I think actually once one of our girls came home, I think Indy came home and said,

I'm not allowed chocolate muffins every day. Chocolate muffins? Yeah. At school? Yeah. I can't have these every day. Were you making chocolate muffins or Yeah. At school? Yeah. I can't have these every day. Were you making chocolate muffins or were you buying them? Oh, they were getting purchased in some sort of bulk bag situation.

Okay. And distributed ad hoc. So they go through their lunch. I just think they see them eating something and they'll identify any patterns. Yeah, right. Okay. And I was like, Choccy Fiend was having a Choccy muffin every day. And then she came home and said, I can't have these every day.

But then that was all right because then it just got opted out for a blueberry muffin. Which is no more healthier. Exactly. And that's kind of what this story I want to talk about has. This woman, Sophie, she's quite a big deal online. She created a training and nutrition app called The Bod. And, yep, she's got one of those. So she's, you know.

Would this come in handy asking for a friend who's been in isolation for a long time eating a lot of treats? Could do. Yeah, okay. Couldn't hurt. Couldn't hurt. She's got a whole bunch of Instagram followers. She shares, like, recipes and stuff.

And one day she sent her son to school with quinoa pancakes. Sugar-free? Yep. Quinoa pancakes. Okay. Which? Yep. Quinoa pancakes. Okay. Which sound yuck. My first thought is by the time he eats them, they're a bit sloppy.

Sluggy. But then I'm not eating them, so I don't care. Yeah, who cares about kids? What would he like if he likes them? How would you describe quinoa? Like a yuck porridge. It's a little grainy thing. But it's a seed, right?

Yeah. Sort of protein in it. But I guess you'd blend it up if you were making pancakes, wouldn't you? I don't know. You'd blend it in the mix. Yuck. Anyway, he wasn't allowed to eat it. And he got a note sent home saying this isn't appropriate

because the teacher just looked at it and saw pancakes. Thought he was being sent to school with pancakes. A white bread sandwich with jam or Vegemite is a more preferred lunch. Which isn't actually probably, that wouldn't be as healthy as a quinoa pancake. No, no. White bread and jam. Quite high sugar content. There's a lot of protein in quinoa.

Yeah. So now she's just gone back to wraps because that was the other thing. She's like, well, you know, it's not right. She's gone to the media about it. But rather than deal with the school or embarrass her son, she's like, oh, yeah, I'll just send them to school with wraps. So she sends them with wraps now rather than the quinoa. God, I just got a bloody white luncheon sandwich or shaved ham.

You got shaved ham? Well, you know that, yeah. We got luncheon. Yeah. We got luncheon with peas and carrots in it. Mum used to always put like leftover roast beef

or whatever in it. Yum, yum. That was a dream. She put like salad and like salt and pepper and I was like, yuck, I just want peanut butter. No way,

those sandwiches sound so good. I know, they were too bougie for me. Problem growing up in our house is there was never leftovers. We all quite like eating. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Went for a bushwalk at the weekend.

Obeyed all the rules of level three. It was one that was close to home, not too much travelling. In fact, this is so close to home, we're surprised we hadn't gone before. Yeah. What did you do If people were coming On the track The other way

We went to like Each side of the track Oh okay And bit each other A fine day Right Tipped their hat You gotta do that thing

When you're on a bushwalk You see something How much further Yeah Is the heart far from here Is it up Is it much Is it much more

Is it hard Is it uphill Yeah So we're like What are we What are we going to do So yeah Is it far from here? Is it much more uphill? Is it hard? Is it uphill? Yeah. So we're like, what are we, what are we going to do? So yeah, we did a bushwalk. Oh, nice. Because Indy's doing this thing at school where next year,

when she's getting a bit older at primary school, they can do like leadership things, but she's got to tick all the stuff off. Right. And we were like, what better time? One of them is a bushwalk. So we did a bushwalk, the Mokaroa Falls. Right. And we were like, what a bit of time. One of them was a bushwalk. So we did a bushwalk. The Mokoroa Falls. Right. Simply lovely.

I saw your, yes, your pictures. Lovely. Yes. Wasn't much water though on the falls, was there? Not a ton, but I think that's nice because it gives you that different sort of waterfall where moss and ferns and stuff can grow up the waterfall. Yeah, right. Yeah, there had been rain, of course, and you could see signs of a bit more of a torrent. Yeah, okay. Over the waterfall. Yeah, right. Yeah, there had been rain, of course, and you could see signs of a bit more of a torrent.

Yeah, okay. Over the waterfall. Yeah, we did that. August hated every minute of it. She's like, are we there yet? Just bring her to my house next time. Drop her off. We were scrubbing our feet to prevent coldy dieback,

and she's like, is this the end? Because we'd walked from the car park. I was like, no, we haven't even started. Where do we go from here? I was like, where do you reckon, mate? There's a path into the bush.

Where do we follow that? And she'd be walking. She's like, oh, no, this is scary. I'm like, what are you scared of? She's like, bears.

I was like, hey, wipe that off your list. No bears in New Zealand. Yeah. Hmm. Tigers? No. And I was like, bears? Hey, wipe that off your list. No bears in New Zealand. Yeah. Tigers? No. And I was like, you can't talk your way out of doing this. You're doing it.

I'm too scared. The problem was all the way there was downhill. Oh, no. And then turn around and come back. And I said, oh, yeah, it's going to be a long walk. Most of it's going to be uphill on the way back. And she's like, I'll need to be carried. You're not getting carried.

She got pushed up the hill. Did you get Indy piggyback her? Oh, that was on the way down but that quickly got, because Indy's very clumsy. She's got like giraffe legs.

August jumped on her back and they started running downhill on a gravel path. That's going to end well. Yeah. They have to carry both of them out when they fall over but that was so busy. I've never seen a bushwalk so busy. Really? Yeah. They have to carry both of them out when they fall over. But it was so busy.

I've never seen a bushwalk so busy. Really? Yeah. Just because what people have been locked up. They're like, we've got to get out and be with nature. And then I guess people are trying to find places that are kind of close to their home. Yeah. That is a little bit of a different scenery.

Yeah. But yeah, when we pulled in, the park was chocker with people. Everybody was pretty good at maintaining the distance and everything though, so that's good. That was all good, but no, beautiful. And Shardae enjoyed it, which is key to our family doing anything. Because if she doesn't enjoy it, we don't do it. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM.

From the ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there. New Zealand, couriers in New Zealand, not New Zealand couriers, because that's a courier company, right? Yeah, it is. What have we got? Courier Post, New Zealand Couriers. Post Haste.

Post Haste. THL. PBT. Yeah. The one that used to be Fastway is now known as Amarax New Zealand, and it has set up an Uber-like app called Blue Couriers, which enable people to deliver couriers within their neighbourhood or suburb as the company has a five-day backlog.

Wowzers. So if you've got a car and a driver's licence, you could become a contactless delivery driver. And it's through an app kind of like Uber. Yeah, and I think Amazon do it as well. You can drop off parcels and that kind of thing. And they track you. You obviously have to have a pretty clean record to do it, right?

Otherwise. And you've got to be able to resist giving something a shake. Resist taking the parcels that feel like clothes and shoes. Seeing like ASOS on the outside and assuming it's your size. Yeah. Yeah, you've got to resist. I'd probably steal ASOS packages and get home assuming it's your size? Yeah. Yeah, you've got to resist it. I'd probably steal ASOS packages and get home and be a dress or something.

I'd be like, God damn it. Waste not, want not. True, yeah. Get it on, get it on. Oh, well, I've got it now. You're going to jail for it. You might as well wear it.

So if you're thinking about this, this sounds like a little bit of you. I've got the top six tricks to being a hot courier. Okay. Could you just take up little packages here and there and do it on a bike? That could be great fitness.

Oh, yeah. It depends. It depends on your saddlebags. Yeah, it depends on your area. Yeah. It'd be a bit hard to be a bike courier if you've got a big box. Because most of those bike couriers in the city are doing documents. Right.

They do legal important documents and across town quick. You want a bigger car, you want a station wagon, put more in. But can you get a little trolley that trails your bike? Yeah, you can get those things and people chuck their kids in. Yeah, cute. Or put their kids in. You could tow around

a pretty decent amount of packages with one of those. Yeah, you could. But as you say, then you've got to think about your geographical location. You don't want to be too hilly. I think also a good time again

just to say, let's give couriers a break because they are wearing it at the moment, some of them. And it's like, yeah, I think also a good time again just to say, let's give couriers a break. Because they are wearing it at the moment, some of them. And it's like, yeah, I saw some couriers commenting in comments the other day on a Facebook post. People, they were just relaying these stories of how customers were like, I've been waiting for this. So it's all their fault.

It's a pandemic. I know. Wow. So you're saying our top six list, making fun of couriers, probably wouldn't be the best top six list to have right now. Well, I was probably, what I was doing there was more balancing it, Vaughan. Right.

So that people can see. You're providing balance. People can see we're being tongue in cheek. This is very tongue in cheek. We're also caring about all the wonderful work that our couriers are doing. Yeah. So with that said, go ahead with your tongue in cheek list. The top six tricks to being that our couriers are doing. Yeah. So with that said, go ahead with your tongue-in-cheek list.

The top six tricks to being a hot courier if you want to take up this offer. Number six, you're going to need a pair of damn shorty shorts. Yeah. Show off the leg. Yeah. Ideally, you want the shorts to finish a couple of inches below whatever genitals you've been given. That's so when you jump up into the cab, you can turn on the air con and get a sweet breeze on them.

Yeah. Because you can get pretty hot, sweaty jennies in the courier van. No, you don't want to be sticking to the seat in the courier van. Assuming it's a vinyl-seated van, which hasn't been around for ages. But are you driving a van from the 70s? You could be. Number five on the list of the top six tricks To being a hot courier You're going to need yourself

A Bluetooth headset Yes A little bit Because you've got to be driving You can't be taking Boop, hello Yeah, roger that Sausages for dinner

Cool, see you later on And you keep driving around Number four on the list Of the top six tricks To being a hot courier Shoes that you'd probably Usually wear for playing Touch rugby the top six tricks to being a hot courier are shoes that you'd probably usually wear for playing touch rugby.

They love a they love a sports shoe but not a standard sports shoe. One of those ones with a bit of grip on the side. Yeah. In case when you're running from the van to the front door

you need a headed angle. Yeah. A sidestep a Labrador. You're such a bitch. They love they love a shoe. It's got good arms

and you're on their feet all day. I hope they throw your packages at your door. No. I've got a great relationship. All Vaughan was doing was saying that they wear sensible shoes. Yeah. Very athletic, sensible shoes. Number three on the list of the top six tricks to be a hot courier.

Park wherever you like using your magic blinkers. That little triangle that you push in and then all four of your indicators go. That means law enforcement officers can't see wherever you've parked. That's international law. Yeah. Hazards mean I disappear. Yeah. Does anyone else press that and say, well, I won't get a ticket now?

Yeah. Yeah. I've explained myself. It was like when I had that. I've got the hazards on. Laminated sign in the back seat of my old car that said, temporary sub-60 career vehicle. And if you wanted to park somewhere cheeky as hell,

you'd put on your indicators and pop that in the back window. I mean, you went to that after you said official police car on business. Yeah. Because that got you in trouble, didn't it? Well, yeah. Well, mostly because they were like You blow on your cover Yeah right Alright mate

See you back at the station Also please don't drive Honda Accords From 2001 Well not anymore they don't Number two on the list Of the top six trips to being a hot courier A nice pair of wrap around sunnies Oh yeah

You're driving at all times of the day In all different directions The sun could blind you at any minute. It could come in from the side. You don't want it coming in the side of some Ray-Bans. You need them to hug your face because you're running upstairs delivering packages. You don't want them to fall off. Exactly.

And they hug and they stop light peaking in the sides. Like a racehorse, you've got your blinkers on. You're focused on the task at hand. Yeah, good. And number one on the list of the top six tricks you need to be a hot courier. How fast are you at knocking on a door before assuming no one's home and then just running away and leaving a car decal stuck in a door? That's probably why you're wearing the touch rugby shoes.

Yeah. Every time you go to drop off a parcel, it's a possible beep test. No, they're not home. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Well, a lot of Kiwis, how do I put this? Pissed. At Air New

Zealand at the moment. Because Air New Zealand on Friday announced the cancellation of flights scheduled for May and June as it outlined its plans for domestic services when the country moves to level two. And before this news story was kind of broken, went public, a friend, Alice, friend of the show, friend of everyone here,

we were going to go to a concert in June. So she was like, well, I'll just come up anyway if things are all settled down. And she messaged saying, oh, well, they've cancelled the flights. And I was like, well, I'll just come up anyway if things are all settled down. And she messaged saying, oh, well, they've cancelled the flights. And I was like, well, that's weird. Why would they? Because we'll be in level two. Yeah, they'll be flying. Yeah. So what they've done is they've cancelled

those flights and given everyone a credit and then said to people, you now need to book new flights. But in her case, flights are way more expensive. Surely they can't do that. So if you've got a deal,

let's just chuck some numbers around that I've completely made up. Okay. $79 from Christchurch to Auckland. For example, sure. Yeah, for example. And you've got a really good special. You might have booked that in,

I don't know, December or January this year. Right. And then $79 home. Yeah. So made up again. But then those flights got cancelled. So you got the credit for $79 each way.

$160. $158. So you got that credit. But now, depending on- You have to rebook. You have to rebook. But flights may be double in some cases for some people. But a plane might still be leaving at that exact time.

Yeah, exactly. Those, that day. So they're not just saying, oh, well, you had a flight here on this day anyway, you can have this new flight. You've got to rebook. Very cheeky. Very cheeky.

Do you have to watch the safety video? Yes. No deal. It's not as annoying. It's not as annoying. It's going to cost you $40 more, but you don't have to watch a safety video.

I'd be like, hmm. Okay. You know that's a really cute one, actually, the latest one. Yeah. Whereas if there was

a $40 one for that All Blacks one, I would have hopped in for that. I would have paid $100, actually, not to watch that. Well, the rapping one,

and then they went back to the New Zealand one that we'd all seen heaps of times. Yeah. Yeah. Horrible. Hey, look, they're doing it tough, but that does seem a little on the nose.

Well, it just seems a bit like – That's not fair. But then you can imagine that they don't want to be running the airline in level two with all these people, because didn't your mum have $9 grab-a-seat flights? Yeah. So they're not going to be able to run these flights with full of people paying $9, and they have to social distance everyone.

So you can see why they've done it. But it's so cheeky. I can't believe they're getting away with it. Are they actually getting away with it? Well, what are you going to do about it? I don't know. Get mum to call them and tell them off? Tell mum on them?

They've all had a few Karens on the phone lately, I would imagine. Oh, you can imagine working in the call centre in New Zealand or any call centre at the moment. Oh, you can imagine working in the call centre in New Zealand or any call centre at the moment. Again, a timely reminder that people who work in call centres don't make these calls. That's why you need to find the CEO's number and give him a call.

Right. Nope. I don't think he'd like that. But, no, that is a bit stank. Yeah, it's a bit. Well, yeah, and there was a single father. He travels to Dunedin to see his three kids. He does this every second weekend.

So he's always booked out flights when they're cheap. Yeah. And he had a whole bunch of flights upcoming cancelled. And he said that they've gone from about return, $240 to $290, being $360 each way. So, you know, there's people like that that do need to, you know, see family and loved ones and maybe have

to work or have to travel for family that are, yeah, getting stung now. But then you can also see, yeah, in New Zealand's position. Could he do a sponsor post for doing the Jetstar Jump maybe? I don't know. I don't know if they're doing the Jetstar Jump. They for doing the Jetstar Jump maybe? I don't know. I don't know if they're doing the Jetstar Jump anymore.

They still do the Jetstar Jump? Well, that's a mis-track. That was fun, wasn't it? Bluff or Stuff. All right, it's time to play Bluff or Stuff. Joining us this morning, Amy. Hello. Hello. How are you us this morning, Amy. Hello. Hello.

How are you guys this morning? Good. Really good. How are you? How was your weekend? Did you maintain your bubble at the weekend or were you naughty? Yeah, no, no. Fully maintaining the bubble down here.

I'm a farmer, so nothing's changed for me. We're all in our bubble. You're always in a bubble. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We don't go too far. Okay, all right. Well, this is how Bluffles stuff works for those new to the show.

Today we have a pink camera to give away and you have to literally just tell us who is holding the camera today, Amy. Megan, light on details there. It's not just any camera. It's a Fujifilm Instax Mini 9 Instant Photo Camera. We haven't started yet, Warren. Just quickly, Executive Intern,

you've purchased these prizes. Yeah. So we're in no way affiliated with Fujifilm Instamax. Not at all. This could be a rubbish camera. Feel free to roast it if you think so. No, no, no. I've got one.

I've got one. I've had one. Great fun. You'll use those 10 photos that come with it, and you'll never buy film for it again. And you'll put it somewhere, like, I don't know if you've got kids, but you'll put it in the kids' room, and they, like, pretend to play photos and stuff with it,

and you're like, ha-ha. Although, this one has a little selfie mirror on it. It does. Ooh, that sounds good. I can see that on the box because I'm holding it. It's also got a focus range. You can see that on the box. I've got the box facing you.

All right. You can see that its focus range goes from 0.6 metres or 60 centimetres to infinity. Stop reading the details online. We're going to go around, each of us, and we're going to put our case to you as to why we are the ones holding your prize. And if you can correctly tell us who is

holding it, you win it. I can tell you because I'm holding it in my hands, Amy, that it is not just pink, it's flamingo pink as described on the box. What? You can see the box I'm holding. It's obviously flamingo pink. I can see it because it's in my hand. It is the

Instax 9. Shall I tell you the serial number on the bottom? Interesting there that she didn't say Mini 9. If she had the box in her hand, she'd know that. Do you want to tell me the last numbers in the barcode, Vaughn? 157052. No, 349467. Well, I guess you'll have to Google that and see which one the product code is.

Whatever it's 8288. No, it's not. On the barcode on the bottom. I can tell you. 349467. No, it's not. On the barcode on the bottom. I can tell you. 3, 4, 9, 4, 6, 7. Attention, attention. Amy, this is certified European. It can be sold in the Eurozone.

It's got that CE on the side. Is that what that means? Certified European. Okay, Vaughn, if you're holding the box, where is it made? What country? Duh, the People's Republic of China. Really? Because I've got the box and it says here

made in Thailand. Thailand doesn't have any local manufacture. A flawed lie. A flawed lie. They've outsourced it all to China who are just next door and can do it for half the price. I can tell you. Okay, Mr. Holding the Box, according to the box,

where does the Polaroid camera exit the camera after the photo's been taken? Out the bottom. Ha! It goes out the top. Goes out the top. Oh, yeah, because I can see on the box it's the top. Yeah, yeah. Why did you say bottom? You don't get your tops and bottoms confused. That out the top. Oh, yeah, because I can see on the box it's the top. Yeah, yeah. Why did you say bottom?

You don't get your tops and bottoms confused. That's your specialty. You established that in the opening. I thought it was both. No, it's not. It can't be. No. Okay, look, I'm definitely holding it because it's got a little thing that you hang it on

in the store. I'm holding it. Yeah, but exactly. You can say that in my hand. Okay. Amy, I think it's time you need to eliminate one of us. Who do you think is I'm holding it. Yeah, but exactly. You can say that in my hand. Okay. Amy, I think it's time you need to eliminate one of us.

Who do you think is definitely not holding it? Megan, I love you, but I think I might eliminate you. Ooh. Okay, well, I'm not holding it,

but that was the barcode number on the bottom. I wrote it down. All right, here we go, Amy. Is Vaughn holding your prize? One last tidbit, Amy.

The girl on the back of the box, she's having a great old time with a teddy bear. Yeah, because I just literally held it up and you saw that, and she's sitting on a stereo machine. A ghetto blaster. Are we still allowed to call them ghetto blasters? I don't know. That didn't feel real.

No, because it was a positive, eh? Like, everyone loved it. Yeah. Ghetto blaster. I think we call it a ghetto Bluetooth device now. Amy, who is holding your prize? The Instamax Mini 9 Instant Camera. It'd be so funny if somebody rung up this radio show for this

but didn't know the difference in all of your guys' names, and I definitely think Vaughn. Yeah, you've got it. Okay, so you think Vaughn is holding your prize? Yes. You're ten right. That is incorrect. Even I bought into my own lie.

I thought I was holding it. I was holding it. He didn't know where it was made. Thailand. I said Thailand. The People's Republic of China. I said Thailand. Goodness me.

Amy. Or PRC. Terrible. You didn't believe me. I've been trying to tell you the whole time I had your prize. Oh, damn. I honestly really thought Vaughn had it then. Yeah, well, he's a good liar.

He's a great liar. Amy, unfortunately. Worryingly so. Unfortunately. What's that, sorry? I think where you're cheeky, where your kids get your cheekiness from. Yeah.

It worries me a lot. Unfortunately for you, Amy, the chase is over. You've been caught. You've been caught. Unfortunately for you, Amy, you've been caught and the chase is over.

You think you can do better? If you think you knew the third king of England, come and have a shot. How good is Bradley Walsh? I love the chase. I love the chase. That's a point reviewing. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Friday it was.

We were sat after the show, sharing our plans for the weekend, chuckling. And I opened up Instagram and I said, oh heck, look at this. I've got an ad in Instagram. And that's how taken aback I was by it. And everybody looked at me like,

yep, that happens. And I was like, how often does it happen? And Megan pulled up her stories, her Instagram stories, and literally it was like two people's stories and then an ad. Yeah, that's me every time, I'd say. And I was taken aback because it wasn't an ad in the stories that I showed you guys. It was actually in the feed.

I said, do you guys get these as well? And you were all like, yep. Not as much as the stories that I showed you guys, it was actually in the feed. I said, do you guys get these as well? And you were all like, yep. Not as much as the stories though. No, yeah. I'd say story ads more than feed ads. Yeah. So I was blown away because I don't get Instagram ads. And I said to the guys, I was like, this is obviously a big deal

because I don't get Instagram ads. And you were all like in disbelief. You didn't believe me. So I scrolled through and I was like, look, there's no ads. I don't get Instagram ads. And you were all like in disbelief. You didn't believe me. So I scrolled through and I was like, look, there's no ads. I don't get ads. Never. Nope. So you've all had ads for the longest time.

For years and years. I remember them announcing that ads were coming. And then I thought like sponsored content like when people do. Is it because you're unmarketable? Maybe. I'm a confusing algorithm. All the stuff he Googles is like tractors and... Yeah, but they advertise tractors to farmers on Instagram.

Do they? Do they? I don't know. Maybe not. What would you rate? The trader field isn't looking into influencers. Trade tested was the ad I got and it was like for a garden shed. See?

Like a shed. Maybe you're not marketable too. It's not a huge market. That's all I can put it on is that I'm a very unattractive demographic to market. On social media. Yeah. But you've never had an ad in your Instagram story? I have never had an ad in an Instagram story.

So I went home and I said to Shana, these guys are getting ads all the time. She's like, I get ads all the time too. I'm like, I don't get any ads. Then. You're an anomaly. Ads started to show up. Not in the stories. all the time, I'm like, I don't get any ads. Then, Ads. An anomaly. Ads started to show up. Not in the stories,

I still don't get any ads in the stories, but in the feed, I'm getting more ads. But in the stories, I still don't get ads. Because all of my ads would not appeal to you. It's all like,

hair trimmers and makeup and clothing. Yeah, the sort of products that I will Google and look for probably aren't super Instagram savvy, paying for the stories that maybe pay for a post, but not a story to like,

but I couldn't believe it. You guys were showing me. I was like, how do you sit through all the ads? Okay, so I found an article here from February this year. And somebody sat down with Adam Masseri, who is in charge of Instagram at Facebook. And he was asked the question, why do some people not see ads? Is this normal?

He said, yes, apparently a small group of users never see ads to make sure we understand the effect of that. You were like a placebo. And now you said it and Instagram was listening and now I get ads. Thanks, guys. Because somebody asked, I might have been on Reddit.

They said, look, I was for a year or so, I didn't get anything. And all my friends did. And yeah, apparently now they get ads. So yeah. Yeah. But I still haven't had any story ads. I've only had ads in the feed. Right.

But yeah, so you might have been a test like a placebo. Oh, but I liked being that. Hey, welcome to ads, mate, because we all get them. Welcome to the real world that we've all had for years. Joined on the phone this morning by Dr. Kimberly Norris. She is a clinical psychologist at the University of Tasmania and has studied the effects of isolation. Good morning, Dr. Kim.

Good morning. What an interesting thing to study. I just want to know, is it mostly good or bad effects from isolation? It is a combination and it kind of depends on what part of the isolation you're talking to people about. But in general, it's both good and bad. Right. So what are some of the good things

that come out of isolation that you've found? Some of the most common things are that it gives people a little bit more time to think about what's important to them. So normally we're all so busy, you know, rushing around between different things and different commitments in our life that we don't have the time to kind of just sit and think about what's important

to us, about what we want to be doing. We've got all these other pressures. And suddenly when they're gone, it does create that space to think, well, what really is important to me and how can I make those things happen? And that's the number one important thing that seems to happen as a result of isolation. But what sort of isolation have you been studying? I'm imagining no one was really studying the field of isolation for societies during possible pandemics. Was it more space?

Because, I mean, that's something, right? If people are in space, they are isolated for a long time or, I don't know, prison. Yeah, prison. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So to date, most of the research we've done in this area has been with groups of people who've been in Antarctica because they can be there anywhere from a couple of months right up to a year or so and absolutely people in space because the tricky thing with both of those environments is that, number one, yes, you're isolated from everyone else, but number two, they're pretty dangerous places as well

and things can go wrong. Right. And do you think it's made people become more open with their feelings or have people gone the other way and kind of closed up? Again, it kind of depends on the person and it depends on the type of people that were around them during isolation. But most of the time what we find is that people do get much more open with their feelings. And if we had to stereotype, it's actually the guys who do a better job of that. And one of the reasons we think that

is, is that generally speaking, women or people who identify as female are already much more likely to talk about their feelings before a challenge like isolation, whereas guys, not so much after isolation because, you know, there's been so much going on emotionally and they don't have their normal outlets. Guys do talk about it more, they open up about it more and keep using things like social support

to cope with challenge in the future. That's good. Is there any other notable differences between men and women after isolation? What we've found relatively recently, actually, is that if we look particularly at people who identify as women and female, then these people after isolation tend to be much more self-confident. So because they've been through a really challenging situation and in effect proven how strong they are and how capable they are, they take that knowledge and confidence with them and

probably take more positive risks and try out new things they might not have done otherwise. How does it affect friendships and relationships after isolation? Because I guess you've got a lot of time to think about who you miss the most Maybe who you don't need Absolutely, and you've actually picked up on a key, key thing there Because of how isolation works, we've got that time to think But also, it actually takes a bit more effort to reach out to people And for them to reach out to us.

So what tends to happen is that those strong relationships that are giving back to us and we're getting something very positive and meaningful from them, we actually value those even more. But you may find that some of those relationships that always happen out of habit, maybe you're not putting as much effort in because they're not giving as much back to you. So some relationships will be strengthened. Others might fall away. How is it going to, like going forward,

we're going to put up with like a lot more, aren't we? Like your flatmates, when we go back to normal life, they're going to be less annoying, aren't they? Because you were saturated with them all the time. Yeah, absolutely. So, and here's another really interesting thing we know about isolation. When you're in the thick of it, when you're living it, you can get really frustrated with the people around you

because you just can't get a break from them. So those little annoyances become big annoyances and you just want a break. But afterwards, because of having to go through that, your tolerance levels are so much higher. So those little things almost become non-existent then and your ability to put up with things that in the scheme of things don't matter, much, much better.

So frustration in the short term means much better tolerance in the long term. Do you think that same can be said for your co-workers that you have to be shut in a room with all the time? Cheeky. Providing a relationship with good to start with, absolutely. Rock solid, Kim, rock solid. Well, thank you so much for talking to us this morning,

Dr. Kimberly Norris from the University of Tasmania. Good luck. Thank you. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Yay! Wakey, the podcast. Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey. If you need a little get up and go, a little G up, on Monday morning, you've come to the right place.

We asked if you had something big today that maybe was causing you some anxiety that maybe you were a little bit worried about. You need a pep talk for? Yeah. Three very positive people. Three very positive people. Motivational people. I went to a Tony Robbins seminar. Did you?

And I won't shut up about it. Nah, I didn't. I just don't know if you two are the right people for this job. Well, Megan, you're an entrepreneur. Megan's an entrepreneur. Isn't she? She's a businesswoman. Yeah, and remember I didn't tell you I was opening a cafe.

You found it online. Yeah, I'm a... Because I didn't want to hear what you had to say. I would have said something like, I hope there's not a recession. Yeah. I'm a renegade. Right, okay.

I would have encouraged any sort of renegade behaviour. We put the call out. Who needs some motivation on Monday? Grace, you replied. Good morning, Grace. Good morning. How are you? Good.

Now, how can we help you today? Look, today is my first day back at work after seven weeks of not being there. Oh, my God. And you've got some real CBF-ness. I can hear it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. What is that?

Are you anxious about seeing people? I'm a natural introvert, so being away from people for a long time has been really great, but reintegrating into that seeing people thing is a bit harder. See, I'd be probably the opposite. I'd be excited to see some people again. Are you not excited about that? No, I'm the same as Grace.

Yeah, no, I'm quite happy with my bubble. I'm very happy with where I am. How many people were in your bubble, Grace? Well, so I've had a big bubble. There's eight of us. Wow, okay, that's a pretty big bubble. Quite big for an introvert anyway, so it's been good. Yeah, you've got as much of people as you've needed from an eight-person group.

What kind of job do you do? What kind of area do you've needed from an eight-person group. What kind of job do you do? What kind of area do you work in? I'm not a social worker, so I work with kids and stuff. Right, so let me tell you, and let's get the ball rolling on a little bit of a G-up. You are doing some very, very important work, especially at this tough, challenging time. Like kids, it's a lot for kids to take on. And, you know, we might just be thinking, oh, the kids are taking it well,

but there's these sorts of things that ruminate, don't they, in the brain, the spongy brain of a child that takes everything on board. And maybe they haven't felt, you know, able to open up to people. And the job you're doing is so vitally important to the next stage of recovery from what has been a very challenging part of New Zealand's history.

I think you're an essential worker. You're a vital force. You might find it hard, Grace, but you're the person that they need. Oh, thanks, guys. That's really nice. Yeah. Fletch. Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap,

but by the seeds that you plant. Oh. I just Googled work quotes. Does that fit? Yeah, it works. Yeah, good. Get out there and harvest. Especially when you're talking about kids.

Yeah. Plant them. Not the children. No, no, no. You don't plant children. And then get one of those big machines to turn them into hay bales. Yeah, no, not quite like that. But, you know.

All right. Well, I hope we've helped in some way. Grace, good luck with your best day back. Grace? Thanks, guys. Yeah, I feel a lot more motivated. Good. Look at that.

Look at that. You can do it, babes. Happy kid motivators here. We're going to talk to Jenna next. Jenna, you need a little bit of a get up and go this morning. Yeah, I do, except I feel like mine's a little bit different to Grace's. Okay. It's a little bit different.

That's right, but we're all different, aren't we? That's okay. What have you got today that's plaguing you? Well, I kind of need

a little bit of motivation to, you know, get myself sorted and shave my legs. Oh, okay. Oh, let me just Google quotes about shaving legs. No, first of all, let me just Google quotes about shaving legs.

No, first of all, you don't actually have to shave your legs, babes. If you don't want to shave your legs, leave them hairy. See, this is probably the better motivation. I'm glad you're on my side. Yeah, we're heading into winter. It's winter. It's long pants time. Yeah.

Yeah, it's true. I was just thinking I do need to go back to work soon and it could be a little bit overwhelming. And then I thought, well, maybe I do need to get motivated. But if you're on my side just to keep them growing. Well, no, no. Let me pose to you this piece of motivational advice, Jenna. Winning is like shaving.

You do it every day or you wind up looking like a bum. Oh, my God. That's a horrible saying. I just heard that was the first one. But that's quite motivating for me to go and shave my legs. Shave your legs. I just don't think you shouldn't conform. But then what do you do for a job?

Is it dependent on a hairless leg? Well, I'm a teacher, so, yeah, I could get away with it because we all have to be a little bit further away from our students, so they might not notice. Yeah, long pants is all good, but if it gets warm, you know, when spring rolls around, Mrs Hairy Legs might be a name that's hard to shake. You know, kids are like? Little buggers.

Yeah. Right, okay. So do you feel adequately jeed up to either not shave your legs or shave your legs, depending on what you decide? Yeah, I feel torn now, but that's okay. Oh, God, we've not helped. But either decision I make is the right decision, so that's good. Yeah.

Yes, you can't be wrong. Exactly. Oh, you've won out. Yeah. Yes, you can't be wrong. Exactly. Oh, you've won out of this. Yes. Regardless of what you decide, you made a decision, and that is the real victory. Yeah. Yeah, this is awesome. I'm feeling really good now. Yes.

Good luck, Jenna. Thanks. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Am I a bad person? All right. We've had email correspondence from someone who wants to remain anonymous as they always do. Yeah.

This is your chance for you to decide if this person's a bad person or not. If you ever find yourself in a sticky situation, send us a message, FBMZM on Facebook because it's great content for us and it means less planning the show. So thank you for sending these in. He's not lying.

I'm just being completely honest and up front with you right now, Lissa. Yep. Yep. Okay, so this email goes, Hi FBM, I've been talking to a guy

on Tinder for the last five weeks and over the weekend we, from a distance, met up and got a coffee together. The banter has been amazing online, but in person, there just wasn't a spark at all, and he looked pretty different to his pictures. And without being awful, I don't find him attractive.

Without being awful? He says he really wants to do it again, but I'm not keen. Am I a bad person for not giving the in-person chemistry another go? Yeah, that's weird. I guess you can chat like on an app and it's all fun and games and everyone's laughing, but then you meet and they could be awkward and weird.

You can't change that, can you? I know, but after like another go, maybe they'll loosen up and like... Could be nerves. But you know, don't you? But you know. Surely you get a vibe. Is that going to change?

Well, yeah, I don't know. Do people find people more attractive like after a while once you get to know them sometimes? Stockholm Syndrome, Megan. That's cool. That happens when there was never, it didn't set off on a romantic foot. Yeah. That happens when you find someone more attractive after time

and their personality grows on you and everything. That's like when you're introduced platonically or maybe professionally. But if you set out with a romantic intent. Are you talking about your love for me? Unless it hooks in. How did you know? You met Fletch when he was a five and then his personality got him to a seven.

Wow. I mean, obviously we're lying now. Yeah. But no, I think you're right though. It starts off in a different way. If it starts romantic, it's got to be a hot click. Yeah, it does. You can't just make that happen.

No. Well, they said they have an amazing banter online, but then that could just be a good friendship, right? Some people are just better online, aren't they? Yeah.

They're just better at it. And then what are you supposed to say to the guy? Because they've been talking for ages. That's the thing. I had friends that were, you know, on Tinder and stuff early in the lockdown

and I was like, what if you match with someone, you can't meet them, he's got this endless chat for weeks and weeks. And if it doesn't go anywhere, you are in this situation. Yeah. Well, they had amazing chat. And then I guess you just hoped that there was the attraction.

That's also an insight into Fletcher's life. He's like, I'm not talking to anybody for longer than a couple of weeks without, you know, getting what I set out to get. I'm not. There's a lot of talk for not much action. I feel like the end game is different for this person and you. Yeah, right. Okay.

All right. Well, we need to now judge if they are a bad person or not. Maybe you've been in this situation even during lockdown recently or in the past. What do you think? 0800-DARLS-AT-M-9696. Also, how awkward is that? As a first coffee date, maintaining a two-meter distance. What do you think? Oh, 800-DARLS-AT-M 9696. Also, how awkward is that as a first coffee date maintaining a two metre distance?

I know, right? Hello. But then there's no pressure to kiss. Hug at the end of it. Yeah, or hug. Yeah. Maybe it's what we should all do.

We need to know if this person is a bad person this morning. They were talking to someone on Tinder. They met up from a distance and had a coffee together.

First time they've seen each other in the flesh. And they're saying that he looked quite different to his pictures and without being awful, they don't find him attractive. Now, are they a bad person for not giving the in-person chemistry another go? Like a level two go. Like a level two, yeah. All right, well, anonymous caller, what do you think? Which one?

You. We do have a couple of anonymous callers lined up, we do. This is you. No, I don't think it's a bad person. I think maybe, well, you know, we've all let ourselves go in lockdown. That's just how it is. That's life, isn't it? Oh, so that would account for the photos not looking the same?

Yeah, and also, you've got to remember that he might also have had, you know, someone around him who was helping him with his banter. Maybe he's just, you know, he needs someone else to help him be funny. That's right. This is true. Do you remember when you'd, former producer Caitlin, you'd always do her banter on... I'd get the ball rolling.

Yeah, and then... I used to get her into sticky situations. Because it's different when it's not your Tinder. You've got nothing to lose. Oh, the lads loved me, though. Yeah. The lads loved you, yeah. Did they what?

And, you know, they could very well have also been at home on the BSEs having a great laugh about it, and it would have been even more funny then. Oh, God. How horrible to think that the person you've matched with on a dating app is sitting on the couch with their flatmates, and they're all... You're the flat entertainment. Yeah.

Every time you message a girl, you're assuming you're messaging her and her bunch of friends, right? Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. Anonymous caller, thank you. We go now to our next anonymous caller. Do you think they're a bad person for not wanting to give this another go? Is that for me?

Yes. Hi, good morning. Good morning. I'm so excited. I love you guys so much. I listen to you every day. Thanks, Anonymous. We love you too.

So my story's a little bit different. It's hard because I can't decide if the person's a bad person or not. But in my experience, my partner and I met maybe four and a half, five years ago. Okay. And we spoke online for about six weeks before meeting up because we actually lived two and a half hours distance away from each other. Okay. And our first date, everything that could have gone wrong went wrong.

He looked the same in his pictures that he did on Tinder. Yeah. But there just wasn't that initial spark. But then I thought, oh, he's put in a lot of effort. I feel really bad for the guy. I'll give him another chance. And then we ended up going to the zoo the following day. Yeah.

And had a fantastic day. And we're so happy. Four and a half years, five years down the line. Oh, okay. Yeah. So your story is one of success. Yeah, yeah, amazing.

And we're building a house and we live up in Northland now and we're incredibly happy and I'm just so glad that I made that decision because I could have not. You were so close to just nah, not giving him another date. Well, I guess there's nothing. She's got nothing to lose going on another date. Yeah, that's true. One more wouldn't hurt, would it?

Not the end of the world. I think the fact, yeah, we'd both come out of long-term relationships beforehand and I think he was just quite overwhelmed. So I just gave him the benefit of the doubt. Now, just a quick question to change of subject completely. You said you live in Northland now. Yes. How do you listen to this radio station?

We have a fantastically terrible frequency in Northland. We've got a fantastic app, Vaughan. It's called the iHeart Radio app. But that's what I was about. That's what I'm saying. If she's streaming, then we should. Right. Fantastic.

I am. The podcast is like part of my routine. Oh, fantastic. Nice. Anonymous, thank you very much for your message, your call. Some texts in. Yep, some texts in. They should not have met in level three.

At a distance. They met at a distance. That's what somebody yelled. From a distance. Yeah. Somebody said, how does the other person feel? I'd give it one more date. If it's just not there for you after that, I'd be honest with them.

But yeah, like our last caller said, sometimes the first time actually in person can be a little bit awkward. That's what she doesn't say. Like, has there been follow-up banter and is it the same or has he backed off? Yeah. Yeah. And someone said, pandemic or not, this has happened for many years for me. I chatted online. They always had great banter.

You meet and there's absolutely no chemistry and no attraction in person. You can't force it. Don't be a bad person, but just be honest with them. Yeah, and we asked you on our Instagram story, we ran the poll, not a bad person, 90%. And I guess the other 10% may be thinking, maybe give it another

nudge. Just one more try. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about the demodex. The demodex. Demodex. Demodex. Oh, demo.

Like demodex. Okay. It comes from the Greek words for fat and boring worm. Oh. But the demodex is neither a worm nor nor is it fat, nor is it boring. Okay. It is a micro mite. It's like a teeny tiny mite, and it's living all over your face right now.

Oh, no, don't, no. Don't do this. You definitely have a lot on your face. Oh, no. Is this? They're too small. They wasn't up in my eyelashes and stuff? Yeah.

No, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No. That's what they're called eyelash mites. They are mostly transparent and they're too small to see with the naked eye. They're about a third of a millimetre long, so super tiny. Yeah, right. It would, if you took five of the adult face mites and laid them end to end,

it would get across the head of a pin. So like that. Oh, so tiny. Okay. That's so tiny. Describe this. So why are they little worms? Why do they live on Megan's face? Well, they love Megan's face. Okay. They're so tiny. Describe their stately little worms. Why do they live on Megan's face?

Well, they love Megan's face. Okay. Stop. And they love all of our faces because there's hair follicles on our face, and that's actually where they call home. What about Baldi's? What about Baldi's? Remember I shaved my face.

You've still got the follicles. Oh, yuck. They're down in there. Yeah. So Baldi's, they're still still well, not as many, but they also tend to like the face. My eyes are itchy. They prefer the face

rather than the hair and that is because they eat sebum. That is the greasy oil your skin makes to protect itself and keep itself from drying out. Oh, but don't eat that. I need that. It's only eating a teeny tiny amount. I'll just have a don't eat that. I need that. It's only eating a teeny tiny amount.

I just have a little bit of this. They won't get wrinkles because they're eating all my sebum. And they're multiplying. They're all over my face. So the sebaceous gland empties into the hair follicles and then they coat the hair and also the face mites in there. So it's like yum yum yum.

And it prefers the greasier parts of your body, the hazardous oily T-zone, for example. Oh, yeah, okay. He says wiping his face. Watch out, little mites. I'm rubbing my hand across my face. And you can't wash them off. Really?

What if I put my hand sanitizer on? They're down. Oh, God. Genocide on your face. Mite genocide. Yeah. Do I need them? Do they do good stuff?

They carry weirdly, they can say a lot about your DNA because they are, like, living in your hair. And everybody's, from around the world, different people have different sorts of face mites. Right. I've studied thousands from people all around the world and there are minute differences between and they can actually carry some of face mites. Right. They've studied thousands from people all around the world and there are minute differences between and they can actually carry some of your genetic material.

Could I be caught by doing a crime if I left my face mites behind? Yeah, if they fell off your face. Okay. If they were like, oh, they're down in the hair follicle, but they're like, I think there's a robbery happening. I'm going to just pop up and they get up and you shake your face. They could, yeah, they could find your face. I have a question.

I might not be able to answer it. This is literally my first day on the job of face mites. Can you get someone else's face mites on you? So if you're having a pash. Oh, yeah. And your face mites smudge with your face mites. And then they have baby face mites too. They live underneath the hair follicle.

So it would have to be a fairly intense pash. But you know when you first start seeing someone and you can pash for a couple of hours? That's still Megan and Mr. Toyboy. 16 years down the track, it seems still crazy. Remember Pash Rash? Yeah. Do you pash now? Do you still pash?

Not as much as we used to. But you know when you first, you can't keep your hands off each other when you first get together and pashing. You do it for ages, don't you? Hours. And now it's so funny to think that you spent hours passion someone. Like, you really got into it. And then you'd test what they liked. Oh, 10 years.

And then you'd bang teeth. It's longer than that. It's like 16 years. We've been married 10 years this year. Ay, caramba. So, also, you can treat... You're like a little kid doing a presentation at school. Also...

Also, you can tweet... If you have an overload of face mites, you get a condition called demodiacosis. Oh, okay. And you get like a white sheenodiacosis. Oh, okay. And you get like a white sheen on your face.

And if you like get it scraped by like a dermatologist, they'll be able to see like, it'll be frothing. Or have an exfoliate scrub. Come on. That would fix that, surely. Yeah, get in there

with a St. Ives apricot foot scrub. There's better scrubs. Still, you know what? That is still, I'll say it. That is still the best face wash I've ever had was a foot scrub. No, it'subs. Still, you know what? That is still, I'll say it. That is still the best face wash I've ever had was a foot scrub. No, it's not. It's not better for your face.

There's better face washes. Your face might suck for that. It's not even from Switzerland. It's not even from Switzerland. It's not even for your face. It's not even from Switzerland. Where's it from? The label makes it look like

it's from Switzerland. It's not. A factory in probably Thailand. Save this. We can channel this. Do it. Don't get me started. On misleading labels.

It doesn't say it's from Switzerland. I'm looking at it now. It's just got a mountain. It could be any mountain. It makes it look like it's from Switzerland. Where is St. Ives? It could be Tongariro. Is St. Ives a made up place?

No, it's a town in England. The old sign. Oh, well then it doesn't suggest it's from Switzerland. Where is St. Ives? It could be Tongariro. Is St. Ives a made-up place? No, it's a town in England. The old sign, you know, I was on my way to St. Ives, I met a man with seven wives. Each wife had seven cats, each cat had seven kittens. Well, then it doesn't say it's from Switzerland. It's saying it's from England.

You wouldn't get away with carting around cats like that these days, would you? You'd have Peter on your case. Excuse me, Stephen here from Peter. Are you carrying around cats and sacks? My wife was. Which one? You've got seven wives.

Oh, they each had seven sacks and inside that cat was seven cats and each cat had seven kittens. That's 49 kittens in each sack

and they're carrying seven sacks. There's no way you could be doing that without hurting the cat. Yeah. Please give them to the SBCA. You're no longer fit to be a that without hurting the cat. Yeah. Please give them to the SBCA.

You're no longer fit to be a cat. Anyway, here we are. Today's fact of the day is that we all have thousands of little face mites living on our face. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I remember the first time my grandfather gave me a word that's original. It was a sweet toffee. I remember. She's sulking. She's in the broadcast nook.

Megan, come back and tell us all what you remember. I don't know what it was about. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It was sorry. I'm sorry. It was just funny. Come back. I remember.

I remember sailing the high seas. I turned my microphone off. Yeah, you did. I had a real tanny and turned my microphone off. I remember there was a story about a baby boom happening because we were all in lockdown. Nine months. Oh, God, you make me so nervous to talk now.

Nine months from now, there was going to be a baby boom. That was what was reported. Now, family planning are saying that might not actually be the case. So everyone's at home and while couples are spending a lot of time together. They're fighting a lot. Well, there's the fighting, but also there's a lot of couples who were planning on having kids that may have decided against it due to, like, uncertainties in the world.

There's also the fact that people have less financial stability, so they've decided against it. Well, you would, though, wouldn't you, at this stage? If you were sitting down thinking, should we have a kid, would you be like, maybe we'll just wait, like like a few months at least

to see how things are going to go? Yeah. I don't know. New Zealand, you know, we're handling it very well compared to the rest of the world. Yeah. There's always going to be the financial situation of having a kid and then having to go down to one and come for a while

or, you know, live off a little bit less. But then there is the, I don't know how pregnancies have been affected by COVID-19 because we haven't had, overseas I know there's been some problems, but it's been because hospitals are overflowing. Yeah, yeah, whereas here, not so much. I know that some people haven't been able to get in for the birth. Right. Or some family obviously haven't been able to go.

That's been a problem. Sure, yeah, the one-person limit situation. But family planning, see, they've been really busy as well. They've been a problem. Sure, yeah. The one person limit situation. But family planning, see they've been really busy as well. They've had 400 requests for appointments each day. Oh, wow. So they're still doing a lot of contraceptive work over the telephone.

I don't know how that works. Yeah. They're doing heaps of- It's like this. Hello, family planning. G'day, mate. How do I put this thing on? What do I-

What about, so I put it? Right. Yep. Do the balls go in it? Oh my God. Vaughan. Yes, you tuck the balls in.

No. Because you don't want any coming out. You don't want it coming out. You'd be mad not to tuck them in. And plus, it creates a, How much room is there in there for both?

A lot. And they gave me the wrong size. But it also creates an anchor so it doesn't slip off. Because the balls are in there a wide area. It holds on a little bit tight. And it cuts off circulation. That's beneficial for everybody for a limited time. As a public service, we just need to point out that Horne's joking.

As a public service announcement, the balls do not go in. If you can't fit them in. But if you can. If you can, give it a burn You just can't Yeah Some people have a bit of extra corny left, don't they? So use it

You may as well use it You paid for it Get a smaller one for one I can't, I got this bag of bloody I got this bag of mediums And it's just I'm absolutely swimming in them I'm glad you're finding it funny.

Some of the biggest laughs I've had on radio is talking about people. Your own little D. Oh, that as well. That's provided many, not just me, many people have spent a good amount of time laughing at that. Doctors included. I'll admit that one hurt a little bit. Yeah, of all the people that were laughing.

Yeah, that one time I saw it, I did have to do a double take to make sure that's what I was seeing. What is that? Oh, wow. I don't think I should continue. Why is it such a different colour to the rest of his body? Doesn't get a lot of sun, does it? Very pink.

Are those yours? Okay. Are those the ones you... Okay, so... Have they been in some sort of chemical accident? Okay, so just to summarise, no baby boom. No. And the balls don't go in.

Lots of morning after balls still available. Okay, great. Good stuff. Flesh Warner Megan, the available. Okay, great. Good stuff. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Feet Week. I don't know if this is a general thing. This is just at Metro, the Metro, which is an English online publication.

Do you think it's maybe something started by the, is it podiatrists? They're the feet people, aren't they? Maybe they want some kind of recognition for what they do for their work. Maybe. Because that's why we have all these different weeks and stuff, isn't it? We're on our bloody feet constantly. They maybe do deserve a little bit more praise and attention. But they've got a whole bunch of things planned for feet week.

Cam girls, share how to get paid for feet pics. Okay, right. How to remove hard skin on your feet. Megan could do that for her OnlyFans for her weird feet. People might be into that. Feet fetish. It's taken me a long time to be okay with my webbies. There's a foot model who gets wild messages from fetishists

when she posts pictures of her feet. Has she got different feet or are they just like perfect feet? If they're the feet picture, they're pretty nice feet. Right. Maybe the second toe ends a little long. Because I've got stubby toes and webbed feet. Also, how about those people that's toes bulb out on the last joint? You know, like they're a

skinnier midsection and then there's a slight bulb out at the end of the toe. Because my second and third toe are longer than my toe. Like I've got real long toes. That's really aesthetically displeasing to me. Me too. Me too.

I like my big toe to be the biggest toe. That's why it's called the biggest toe. I just hate it when you have to go get a pedicure or something and they put those toe separators. Oh, because you've got a webbing. Don't go in between my toes. You could read this, how to do a really easy home pedicure. Meet the man who travelled across the world without wearing shoes.

And is it possible to have a footgasm? Ooh. Would they let you on a plane without shoes? They wouldn't. I don't think so. You'd have to wear at least some jandals. Yeah. So how did he travel across the world without?

No, it looks like he walked. Did a lot of walking. How far did he get? He kind of got far. He might have hopped on a scooter or something every now and then. He would have had to have watched where he stood. I'm calling cheating. Are you?

Well, I can send you the link and you can read about the man who walked around the world. So what your feet can tell you are colour changes. Right. If your feet are changing colour, diabetes is one of the main conditions that will give us problems with our feet, says Tony. He's a foot expert, a podiatrist, as he said before.

Like what colour? Just a change in colour. It could be a loss. Probably purple. Or a change in colour or sensation. Maybe unexplained pain in the foot. That could also be gout. If your feet are always cold,

it can be a sign of a problem as well. I have cold feet a lot of the time. I think my toes are cold right now and they're in socks and shoes. What do you mean you think your toes are cold? Surely now that you've thought about it, you'll be able to judge. No, because sometimes they just get so cold and numb, you have to put them on another part of your body to figure out that they're cold. This could be a problem.

What is it saying was wrong with Megan? Oh, I don't need to know. It can define a circulation problem. Problem. Women in particular suffer from cold feet. Oh, right. There you go. But then when you're in bed, you just put them on your partner.

And they're like, ah, get your feet off me. And then they warm them up for you. Even when they're warm, he's like, get your feet off me because of the wind. The swelling of the feet can be a telltale. People always say telltale. No, they don't. Do they? Telltale. A sign say telltale. No, they don't. Do they? Telltale.

A sign of high blood pressure or heart disease. I don't want to freak anybody out, but that could be happening. Discoloration or your nails. Oh, toenails. Oh, yuck. When they get all long and freaky and stuff. That just means fungus, doesn't it? That can be a sign of a multitude of issues.

Right. Lung, heart, kidney, liver issues, diabetes and anemia could be a problem. If you've got extremely dry or extremely sweaty feet, that could be an indication that there might be a thyroid issue. Oh, okay. If you're removing the hair on your toes, that's fine, but if it's coming

out all by itself, that could be a sign of poor circulation and blood flow as well. Oh, God. No, I shaved my toes. They're not majorly hairy. That was a really attractive picture right there. Now that you're shaving your face and your toes, is there any part of your body that's not getting the shit? Eyebrows.

Right, the eyebrows. My eyebrows. That's about it. That's about it. And if your feet are numb, you should see a doctor as well because that's a sign of a hole. Hey, well, happy feet week, everybody. Yeah.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hit music that lives here. ZM.