ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 11th November 2021

Episode Date: November 10, 2021

Look in the Mirror  Arrested for Mooning  Santa Shortage  Top 6: Mittens  Walking Upstairs  Paul Rudd  When did you catch someone Slagging you off?  Bet I Can Guess Your Mums Name!  Vaughans Money Tip  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play! ZM's Fleach, Vaughan and Megan. Hello, welcome to the Fleach, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to McCafe, Barista Made Coffee, Available Dry Thru and McC Delivery Level 3. And Dine In at Level 2. Just on my Expedia here, because we've been... Rebook!

We've been plans thrown into turmoil with the cancellation or the postponement of Lord's, our Lord Above's concerts. Yes, absolutely. Disarray. Like I imagine maniacal Christians are every time they think that Jesus is coming back. The Lord return. And then it gets put off and delayed to another day, the end of this world of ours. Just Lord, Lord.

So I'm just, I'm cancelling. This is bad for the New Plymouth economy next year. Well, you could still go to New Plymouth. It's too late of cancel. I mean, your family's there, but yeah. No, that's good. And then the flights, you've got to change those, Vaughan.

Right. But you can't rebook for 2023 yet. So far away, it's not even 2022 yet. I know, so I guess, yeah. We'll have cancelled the hotel, so there you go. That's sad, isn't it? Right. Aw, you two are really looking forward to it.

Well, it's still going ahead. Yeah. It's still going ahead. Just at a later date. At a later, yeah. Yeah. Right. That's lovely.

Because it frees up your march, you know. You can probably do that work commitment thing. Nah. Okay. They already... thing nah okay all right they already um there we go that'll do for an excuse i think at this time of day warm is asked to do something in mid-march is i can't i've got the lord concert which wasn't even that weekend no no no i said but if i was going to the lord concert it's also my mother's birthday fingers crossed i'll be able to go and see her yeah well now you've got a free

weekend that can be be Christine's weekend. Yep, that's Christine's birthday weekend right there. Thanks, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fleach, Fawn and Megan. Two minutes past six. Midden's a cat.

I was going to say RIP, but not dead. This is the famous cat. Yeah, Wellington. I assumed it was onaless that someone had left and left Mittens behind but the community had kind of rallied around. But no, Mittens actually has an owner and that family are making the shift to Auckland

and they're going to take Mittens with them. Oh, Wellington will be devastated. So odd time to choose Auckland. I know. Wow. I can say that because we're here. That cat will have to give back the key to the city. Absolutely.

Do you actually get a key? Yeah, I'm pretty sure Mittens got a key to the city in this little ceremonial situation. Yeah. Don't you remember? It was like international news Like the world was literally falling to pieces And we gave a cat a key to the city

Key to the city I feel like he should have got a catnip mouse to the city Rather than like something he could actually use Yeah Unlocks more hearts with key to the city Yeah, in 2020 Yeah, literally like when the world was like Gasping for breath Yeah, in 2020. Yeah, literally, like when the world was like gasping for breath.

Yeah, right. On the 22nd of May, Mittens unlocks more hearts with the Key to the City. Right. We're going to deal with the Mittens heartbreak in the top six soon.

Fear not, Wellingtonians. I have the six other public pets to take Mittens' pride of place. All right. Your chance on the show today to win $500, all thanks to Pump. It's coming up on the show today to win $500, all thanks to Pump. It's coming up on the show today. Next though. The more vain

you are, the better. I'll tell you one thing you could do to improve your well-being. ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan. Looking in the mirror is good for you. Looking at your own reflection is good for your mental health.

So even if you're critical, when you stare in the mirror, you're releasing a feel-good hormone. Really? Yeah. The longer you look, it's got to be a bell curve. You've got to peak.

It's got to start coming down when you get close and you start seeing signs of aging. If you look too long, you get a bit upset. Yeah. Just like, bit upset. Yeah. Just like, yuck.

Oh, wait. No, not like yuck, but like, you know, you get real close and you're like, oh, that's a wrinkle or whatever. Whatever your issue is. Yeah, that's a new one. Yeah, that's a new one. Maybe you should start saying some positive affirmations in the mirror. I've got a good concealer for that.

Do you want me to bring you a concealer for the under eyes? For the dark under the eyes? I can't get up early enough to put makeup on before work. I could do it on the drive to work. Roads aren't very busy. A lot of people do that. Just put your knees on the wheel and, yeah, get that going. Yeah.

So basically, subliminally, we're really good at identifying faces subconsciously. So you see yours the most, you identify your own really quickly. And this is in reflections in windows and mirrors. Where else would you see your face? Still bodies of water. Where I look down and I expect to see myself, but I see my father. And I realise I'm now my father. And you know when you get a photo with a group of people

and you immediately just kind of look at yourself? I've always thought that's because... You identify yourself first. Yeah, you do kind of look at yourself first. And you're like, how dare they upload this photo of me? Yeah, I always thought it was Rachel's look at me like, okay, what's wrong how dare they upload this photo of me? Yeah, that's what I thought it was. Regis looked at me like, okay, what's wrong with me? What's wrong with me?

That's like a subliminal thing too. So that's the most recognisable face to you so that you're drawn to it. Right. But because it is the most recognisable to you, it releases dopamine in your brain. Right. So we should stare at ourselves. So looking at yourself in the mirror. It sounds very vain though, doesn't it?

It does. It sounds very vain though, doesn't it? It does. It does. But there is nothing better than being like inside, say for example, our studio here is kind of tinted windows. Nothing better than when people look at themselves in the reflection and don't know you're on the other side. Walking past in high light. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And so it's really reflective and they stop and have a little bit of a look at themselves. Straighten themselves up. It's especially fun when they like what they see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so it's really reflective, and they stop and have a little bit of a look at themselves. Straighten themselves up. It's especially fun when they like what they see. Yeah. They linger. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. Well, a man, Daryl, in the UK, he's 55.

He has been diagnosed with a terminal illness, MSA, which is a neurological degenerative disorder. Oh, vacant. Piss disorder. Oh, vacant. Piss off. Yeah, horrible. Ah, shit ass. Because I didn't know what MSA was, and I was reading up about it.

It's just horrible to see your whole body shuts down. Yuck. Poor old Daryl. So he, Daryl, who's 55, who used to lecture at the university, Birmingham City University, this is in the K, lectured medical students.

So he's a smart man. Oh, that sucks. And he's got a bucket list before he dies. Okay. As you would, I guess. And one of his items on his bucket list

was to moon a speed camera. Wow. So you've got to be going fast enough to trigger the camera, but your ass is also going to be out the window. Well, I don't know if he was in the car or if he just mooned it. Oh, so he stood on the side of the road and mooned it as a car hooned past.

Yeah, so I don't know about the car, but I do know that he was seen with his pants down, which prompted complaints. Now, he'd mooned the camera. 20 minutes later, five police arrived at his house and threw him to the ground and roughed him up. There's video of it.

To be fair, they wouldn't have known at that stage that this man was suffering from a terminal illness. No, but is that the right response for that? No, not for a man who's just mooned. He's not a violent criminal. And in the video, he's appeared online lying on the ground. The police are trying to get his arms up his back. And he has been heard saying, I've just been diagnosed with an illness.

I'm terminally ill. It was just one of my bucket list things. Haven't you ever wanted to moon a speed camera? To which one officer replied, no. And he continued, well, I did. And he's felt abused and bullied and he's made a police complaint. Wow. Sounds fair enough.

Fair enough, yeah. Inquiries are ongoing and that news story just carries on. Why would they need to send five police officers there too? Yeah. Oh, actually, correction, six. What? Who did they think they were dealing with? Someone who...

Yeah, he just looks like... A mooner. Just an old mate. Just a 55-year-old old mate. That's so bizarre. They should... Issue an apology and let him... They should...

The police should assist him in the rest of his bucket list. Yes. As a make good. And give him another free... Give him a moon. Unless his bucket list is like rob a bank. They can help him out. They can set it list. Yes. As a make good. And give him another free. Give him a moon. Unless his bucket list is like rob a bank. They can help him out. They can set it up. They can be like, guys can come here with a gun.

What would there be on your bucket list? Hey, if there was something on my bucket list, man, I wouldn't wait, man. I'd just do it, man. Would you? I don't know. I've never really thought about it. But you find out you're terminally ill, you've got a few months. What would there be anything you'd want to do? Skydive. And you couldn't? You probably couldn ill, you've got a few months, would there be anything you'd want to do? Skydive.

And you couldn't? You probably couldn't because you want to go to that Star Wars land, Disneyland. You couldn't? Yeah, I was thinking, Merle, I've looked someone in the eyes and just squeezed the life out of them. Jesus. I'll go to Star Wars.

That sounds cool. Like a bad guy. It'll be a bad guy. Yeah, right. Okay. Just look at them straight. Yeah, right. Okay. Just look at them straight. Yeah, right. And be like, oh, this does feel powerful.

If you ever get diagnosed, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm really sorry to hear that, but I can't be around you anymore. I'm going to come and visit me. We'll just take our restraining orders. Bring your supple neck. ZDM's Fletchmore and Megan. Well, New Zealand in the World Cup sem-final in Abu Dhabi, Jimmy Nations just got out and she's close.

Carwen at the social media desk just ruined it. Carwen unbelievably sunk the black caps in the T20 because we were sending vibes. We were sending vibes to Jimmy. Jimmy Nation. We sent vibes and And then they arrived. And then we were like, let's send some more vibes. And Carwin pulled the fingers as a joke.

But that's bad vibes. And her bad vibes arrived and it got out. What do you have to say for yourself? Well, I'm not a cricket fan. That doesn't matter. I was still sending vibes. Yes, do it. Thank you, Megan. Thank you for sending the vibes. New Zealand, 14 doesn't matter. I was still sending vibes. Yes, do you want to send good vibes? Thank you for sending the vibes.

New Zealand, 147 for five, needing 167. And there's a couple of overs left. Cool. Don't, you just don't send any vibes at all. Who's up now instead of Jimmy? So Jimmy goes out. Mitchell Santner's in. Oh, Santner.

Vibes, sending vibes. But there's double Mitchell. We've got a double Mitchell at the crease now. Yes, we do. You can't go wrong. That seems like good vibes. Yeah, two Mitchells. With a double Mitchell.

You know what they say, two Mitchells better than one. Yeah, sure. Good vibes. Good vibes. Send the vibes. Yeah. Send them to Abu Dhabi. Care of Abu Dhabi.

It's no secret that pet owners spend a lot of money on their pets. Some more than others, but two in five say owning a pet is more expensive than having kids. They, half of them say that they spend more money on their pets than they do on themselves. It can't be more expensive than having kids. I wouldn't have thought so. Per day of life. Because pets, what do they live? It depends what you're rocking.

If you're rocking a big dog, eight years. And it would depend on the pet, right? Because a lot of people don't think about. If you just went public school, no uniform. One uniform. They just wear muffed every day. They wear muffed so they can wear the same. Uniforms are expensive.

Okay. No Christmas presents, birthday presents. That's a fair call. Okay. What basic food? How much? Are they just talking about like skeletal survival? Sure.

Yeah. Right. Oh, yeah. They're not including like what you choose to spend. Okay. I reckon I could definitely feed my children for cheaper than I could feed the dogs. Really? Ralph.

Oh, yeah, they eat a lot. Are you serious? But if I just chucked my kids, they would literally eat that prepackaged macaroni cheese shit. Yeah. That you just add like milk to. They'd eat that every day if I let them. Right. But whereas a dog eats a lot.

Fussy. And they're like, yeah, okay. A kid's haircut's cheaper whereas a dog eats a lot. Fussy. And they're like, you... Yeah, okay. A kid's haircut is cheaper than a dog's haircut. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Also, if your dog gets hit by a car, that's expensive. There's no ACC for that. No, there's not. But if your kid gets

hit by a car, it's covered. It's covered, yeah. I can see how, depending on what kind of pet, you pay for a pet, don't you? Yeah. Like the initial payment, then if you get a breed that, again, I'm not blaming the breeds are here, I'm not blaming the dogs, they're blameless in this situation, but your pugs, your French Bulldogs,

you know, we did that, we did that, humans, look at the mirror. They can sit you back, can't they? Those can sit you back. I just, you know how I mentioned I took my cat to the vet, Major Murray Fluffington, and the vet said he needed some fibre because he does those little hard poo nuggets. Yeah. And they were hurting his poor little bum hole.

Yeah. I got like a thing of fibre. It's special for like... Cat's fibre. Cat's fibre. And it's like these little pellets. It's like chicken pellets. Is it? And it's made out of pellets it's like chicken pellets is it into them

and it's made out of like cardboard kiwi fruit yeah like there's kiwi fruit in them is there and there's what's that stuff

metamucil that stuff yeah the brand whatever husk is psyllium husk yeah there's that

and a whole lot of stuff and then he someone's had a blocked bum hole metamucil yeah someone knows their fibrous release.

I hope it doesn't hit you real sudden. Yeah. My mum makes a... What did I say they were? Because those muffins you had yesterday looked like the banana brand muffins. Yeah. My mum makes a banana brand muffin

and whenever she makes them, she says, now just be careful with these. Oh. They're dangerous. And then you eat one and you're like, yeah, right, mum, whatever.

I'm a big man, I can handle my bran muffins and I'll eat one and I'll be like, ah, so delicious, I'll have another one and then literally 45 minutes later, right through you. Well, New Zealand needs six to win. We've got it. Are you kidding me? Yeah, they've just hit like two

sixes. Who hit the sixes? The vibes work. You don't do anything, Calvin. Don't do anything. Send more vibes. We need one last vibe check. Who's hitting the sixes? Mitchell. Which Mitchell? Daryl Mitchell or Mitchell Sander? Daryl Mitchell.

Oh, no, that was Mitchell Sander. It's very confusing when there's a double Mitchell. They've got helmets on. You can't see their face. Yeah, we need six to win. You just said that. They've got none in that You can't see their face. Yeah, we need six to win. You just said that. Wow. Yeah, good stuff. They've got none in that time we were just talking.

No, they've got heaps in that time we were just talking. No, I mean since you last updated. Oh, yeah. They've got to get the ball out of the stand, Megan. He just hit a six. Oh, England look real depressed. Good. Do you remember the last time we played and it was real sad?

How many balls have we got to get six? We need five runs off eight balls. So we've done it. The Vite works. Don't. It's not in the bag. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. In Australia, this comes to us from Australia,

there is a shortage of Santa's helpers. You know the Santa's helpers that are at the mall? Oh, yeah. That you get the photo with? The kids sit on his knee? Yeah, because Santa's helpers that are at the mall? Oh, yeah. That you get the photo with? The kids sit on his knee? Yeah, because Santa's obviously in the busiest time of his year. Yeah, so he's making the toys down there. Sorting out his flight path.

Yeah, exactly. And all of his helpers are at the malls. Yeah. So there's a shortage of... Yeah, so apparently Australia is like really battling and COVID-19 is part of the problem. I don't know if it's killed off a few helpers. I'm not too sure.

But I just think also people don't want to be out, especially older people, might not want to be sitting in a mall. Maybe a ton of people. Even if they're vaccinated, yeah, they don't really want to put themselves at risk. No. So the company that hires and sorts out all of these Santa's helpers,

yeah, is really putting up the call. And they say that you don't need to have a big belly. They've even got a six-foot-five Santa and skinny Santas and Santas in their 20s. That's how desperate they are. Wow. Wow. I wonder what it's going to look like.

Like, are they going to put big PPE? Like, are there going to be screens? Are you just going to have to stand between a screen? He'll be in his full PPE. Is it red with fur trim? Oh, I don't know if they do. Red, I've only seen blue and white. Fur would hold.

But even a mask, a mask on a bed isn't ideal. No. Because it doesn't seal it. Yeah. Yeah. That'll be interesting. So I don't know if New Zealand's facing shortages as well. Oh.

But yeah, that's just another thing COVID's ruined. And a Christmas in the Park crush yesterday was officially called off as well. Oh. Well, there you go. There's one freed up. A Christmas in the Park crush yesterday was officially called off as well. Oh, well, there you go. There's one freed up. Yeah, okay, fair call. I'm a silver lining. Guys, I'm a silver lining. I'm a silver lining sky.

From the exotic ZM think tank, this is the top six. Sorry, I was just tweeting about sport. Oh, wow. Wow. I'm thinking of turning my Twitter channel. Yeah. Channel? Yeah, feed.

Feed? Yeah. Twitter profile? Yeah. Twitter logon? Yeah. Into exclusive sports content. Because if there's one thing you know, Vaughn.

And depth. It's sport. It's sports. Sports? Also, I love how you're on the cricket bandwagon again now that we're into the final of the World Cup. But no, you know I like T20. Yeah, you do. It's the cricket I like. It's because it doesn't take all day. Everyone's doing big whacks.

Were you sending vibes to Jimmy Nation? On Twitter? Yeah. No, no, it was a post-match. Oh, right. Okay. Sort of tweet. I tweeted, it's like the age-old saying, a Mitch in the hand is worth two at the crease. Yeah, that's good.

That's really good from you. Hilary Barry's liked it. Oh. So that's my mark of a good tweet. HB's on board. She loves cricket. Might tell her to put her shoulders away. Does she?

Yeah, she does. She does, doesn't she? She loves cricket.'s on board. She loves cricket. Might tell her to put her shoulders away. Does she? Yeah, she does. She does, doesn't she? She loves cricket. Mum's kick. Bev loves cricket. Oh, Bev loves cricket. She's happy. Well, if there's one thing I know, it's sports.

And if there's another thing I know, it's public puss. And that is what today's Top 6 is about. Mittens, who has been parading, showing everybody on Cuba Mall, that sort of area. Where else does Mittens want to central Wellington? I know about Mittens. I've never met Mittens. People know that I love cats always, you know, message Mittens. Yeah.

But I've never actually encountered Mittens personally. Oh, right. So I'm upset about this. They're probably tiptoeing up Taranaki. Oh, right. So I'm upset about this. They're probably tiptoeing up Taranaki. Yeah, right. But the family of middens have said we are moving to Auckland and as much as you guys like the cat, we're kind of... Kind of how dare they, though?

Like, that's a Wellington thing now? Like, don't move. Totally. Totally. Famously known for casting a judging eye at people leaving bars at 2 a.m. in the morning. Sitting on the lap of a customer who got a haircut in the salon in town. Oh, that's cute. So the family are moving.

And they're taking their cat with them. Not all bad news. Yay. The top six Wellington public pets to replace middens. Okay. Coming in at number six, Squawky the seagull. Ah! We all know Squawky.

But you can't get a haircut. Squawky can't sit on your lap. Yeah, well, you're getting a haircut. Oh, it says the disbelievers. If you've got some bread, Squawky might indeed sit on your lap when you're getting a haircut. And the best part is, if Squawky dies, they all look the same, don't they? Yeah, it. And the best part is if Squawky dies, they all look the same, don't they?

Yeah, that's how you, it's hard to pick which one's Squawky though, isn't it? Yeah, exactly. So Squawky's everywhere. Oh, unless we spray paint it. Um, I don't think that.

No, no, no, that's not friendly to the seagull. We've got to catch it and dip it in food colour. Use a bird-friendly spray paint. Yeah.

Easy. Intermiter 10? Yep. Can I help? Yeah, I'm just after a bird-friendly spray paint. Yeah. Easy. Intermiter 10. Can I help? Yeah. I'm just after a bird-friendly spray paint. And then kind of hug the man because we've got a kinship like the ad. Oh, like on the ad with the bird.

Yeah, and then kiss. No, don't hug or kiss at the moment. Still retain distance. Well, how are those two making love then? In these COVID times. Oh, right. Okay. Pre-pandemic.

Number five on the list of the top six Wellington public pets to replace middens. Squirrels. I know we don't have squirrels, but can we get some, please? I love when you're overseas at a park like New York or London have them. Yeah. And you're just like. And you're filming a squirrel in Central Park and everyone's like, what are you doing?

The locals are like, you're crazy. Have you never seen a squirrel before? You're like, I've never seen a squirrel. Nope. Such a fluffy tail. We've got possums back home. They eat things and go, ah. We're not.

Yeah. Not acceptable. Number four on the list of the top six Wellington public pets to replace middens, a random Wellington public servant. Like someone who works for the government. Like for the IRD or something. Yeah. Are they going to sit on your lap when you get a haircut?

Mm-hmm. Okay. Yep. Lovely. They can wear like a suit and tie because that's pretty much, you know, the standard fodder of clothing. Or we can dress them up.

Lovely. Dress them up in a mascot suit. Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six Wellington public pets to replace Minions, Petey Pigeon. Oh. Yuck.

I don't know what's worse, the seagull or the pigeon. Pigeons are worse than seagulls. Yeah. They're rats with wings, aren't they? Seagulls look like they might have a wash every now and then in the sea. Yeah, they're sleek, aren't they? Yeah, but pigeons look like... They look dusty.

Yeah, very dusty. Because they've got bin juice all over them. Oh, and that doesn't go well with dust. No. Bit of bin juice, bit of dust. Yuck. You got yourself a pigeon. Yeah, the yuck.

Number two on the list of the top six Wellington public pets to replace middens, Ray the Rat. Ray the Rat. We just need to start chucking food on the ground and Ray the Rat and his family are going to boom. Boom there in central Wellington. And number one on the list of the top six Wellington public pets to replace middens,

the Red Panda. Oh, okay. Oh, that's lovely. Yeah. It's not, I mean, currently it is in Wellington Zoo, but it is in Wellington. I say we let it out. Yeah. What's not, I mean, currently it is in Wellington Zoo, but it is in Wellington. I say we let it out. Yeah.

What's the worst that could happen? It's obviously got some sort of people skills because you can book a meet and greet with it. Right. At the zoo for like $139. Imagine cuddling that on Courtney Place. I think I would share a kebab with a red panda. Yeah, same. I'd be like, hey, don't eat all the meat.

Eat some of the cabbage I've loaded this thing up with as well. And the tabbouleh. Yep, get some hummus. It's important we get a bit of... I'm going to go get my own kebab. You have this one, red panda. That would be super cute. That is today's Top 6.

ZM's Fleshborn and Megan. Play ZM. So our study's top six. ZM's Fleshborn and Megan. Play ZM. So our study's been done. Now, this is a study out of America. And they normally beat us in the fattest nations, don't they? We're number three. Are they number one? You're always like, yeah, we're always like top three or four or five with them.

But they always beat us. Well, this study has looked into exercise and it has found that two out of five Americans feel out of shape after walking a flight of stairs. Yeah, but like

how much is a flight? Well, that could be one. It could make you pass. One. Yeah. You've got the home of flight. Well, that could be one story. Yeah. You've got the home

gym. You're on the ropes. I know, but doing the stairs is another thing. It's different. So they looked at... Too much weights, not enough speed work. Not enough cardio. So the study looked at all kinds of different exercises

and it found that 38% of Americans find strength or weight training, 38% yard work and 37% cardio exercise leave them feeling uncomfortably sore. And that may be why three in five say they're often reluctant to exercise at all because it just ends up being sore. But you stretch, right? And then a bit of sore is your muscles, you know, it's the response. It doesn't last forever. You just got to push through it.

Don't do it enough that you're not so sore afterwards. Yeah. That's lactic acid, man. You got to stretch it out. Nearly three and five agree that not doing stretches before a workout always results in waking up sore the next day. Wait, so you're supposed to be stretching before or after? Both. Aren't you meant to do both?

Who stretches before? I don't know. Well, not me. I just warm up. Yeah, just do some light cardio. Or do you just cross trainer? I just do some light cross trainer. Warm up those legs.

I can't imagine you on the cross trainer for some reason. Warm up those legs. Do you use the cross trainer? It's frustrating. I have. It's not my go-to cardio. More exercise bike gets you. Really?

That gets you sweating. Do you work exercise bike more? No, I can never get the seat right on those things. Why not? It should be when you stand next to it, a bike seat should be the same height as your hips, your waist. Yeah, nah. I just imagine whatever

cardio fleech does is really like fast and aggressive. And I don't think the cross trainer would go fast. You'd have to turn your resistance right up. Otherwise you'd look like those people who have the resistance line and they're going too fast. And it's like the arms are out and she's all go. Alright, 13 past 7.

People Magazine's sexiest man for 2021 has been named. Oh wait, I think we're all in agreeance. Yeah. It's a good pick. We're happy. Except,

he reckons we should get ready for outrage. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. People's 2021 sexiest man alive has been crowned and it is Paul Rudd

for the first time ever at the age of 52. Who does not age. I just Google searched young Paul Rudd. Looks, I mean, you know, there's obviously a little aging. It doesn't look like aging though.

It just looks like his face has matured. Yeah. But he doesn't really look... I think that's what aging is. Older. Maturing. Aging is like wrinkles. Yeah. But he doesn't really look... I think that's what aging is. Older. Maturing. Aging is like wrinkles. Yeah, right.

And he hasn't been ravaged by the sun. He doesn't look like a leathery old handbag. He dyes his hair though, right? Has to. Has to, sure. And now I've just suddenly thought like... 52. That's amazing.

This is me doing my The Difference in Time situation. Yeah. Clueless, he difference in time situation. Yep. Clueless, he did 26 years ago. Wow. At the age of 26. Wow, okay. So he's doubled since Clueless. There was nine years between Clueless and Anchorman.

Yep. And there's been 17 years since Anchorman. Wow. I know. Iorman. Wow. Correct. I know. What? I know. Wow.

But he got the email and he had to read it twice. He's a very humble man. The first thing that I thought of, and this is true, is I thought, ooh, get ready for outrage. Oh, every single person I know is going to give me so much grief, as they should. I would. I mean, know is going to give me so much grief. As they should. I would. I mean, I'm going to lean into it hard. I'm going to own this. I'm not going to

try and, you know, just be self-modest. I'm getting business cards made. Business cards. He said he's self-aware enough to know that when people hear about it, they would say what? Do you think

they do a special photo shoot? Yeah. Especially for it? Yeah. It's not a surprise. You know it's happening because you do an interview for the magazine, right? Yeah. And for the website, yeah. So I've got the previous 10 winners. Okay. 2011, Bradley Cooper. Yeah. 2012,

Channing Tatum. 2013, Adam Levine from Maroon 5. Oh, that's more outrage than Paul Rudd. Probably like seven years too late on that one. Yeah. Chris Hemsworth in 2014. Oh, yeah. Who's probably, by the look of that cover,

he's only got better looking since then. David Beckham in 2015. Okay. Dwayne The Rock Johnson in 2016 Yep Blake Sheldon in 2017 Bye Idris Elba 2018

Oh yeah John Alright calm down It was a good year John Legend 2019 Yeah Michael B. Jordan 2020 Yes

That was a good year Jordan Yeah he's a good looking dude. And Paul Rudd 2021. Okay. I don't think people are going to be upset about this, right? I think he's a very beautiful man. His personality only makes him more attractive.

If you were 52 and looked like that. Stoked. Yeah. The ageless man. Stoked if I looked like that now. Anyone? You're right, mate. I ageless man. Stoked if I looked like that now. Anyone? You're all right, mate. I'm in love with it.

Next. Something that might cheer you up. It might not. Signs you have it all. Oh, go on. I'll hear you out. CDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. When you say someone has it all,

it's been looked at what you actually mean. So they're like, oh, they've got it all. Right. If you said that about someone, what are you actually referring to? I don't know, like stuff. Materialistic stuff? And like the picture perfect family from the outside.

Because you know all these studies and it's like the happiest countries. They're never the places that have all the materialistic things, are they? No. So bear that in mind when you give us this list.

So, well this was, they asked people when they say someone has it all, what are you meaning? Like, what do you think is

sex? It's all. Yeah, what is the markers of having it all? Is this just going to be everything they want and see on Instagram? So yes, okay. There is a list of 30 things, but I'm just going to pick and choose the funniest.

I'll tell you the top five in order though. So you're good at yoga. Is that one of the things? If they've got it all? They're good at yoga? If you have a wine cellar. Oh yeah. Is that one of the things? If they've got it all? They've got it yoga. I wouldn't have even. If you have a wine cellar. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Trouble is, I see people with wine, even wine racks. I couldn't do a wine rack because I drink it all. I'm going to start digging my own soon. I've had enough waiting. But, like, I just buy a bottle of wine and then drink it. Like, who has a stockpile of fancy wines? You know? Don't touch that one.

Don't touch that. It's from the 1960s. If you've been to the Maldives, you have it all. If you speak a few different languages. This is just basically what people are jealous and envious of, right? If you can make pastry from scratch. How hard is that? If you can make pastry from scratch.

How hard is that? If you can make pastry from scratch? Is that hard? No. You've got it all. If you get mistaken for a contestant on Love Island. Oh. That's horrible. Yeah.

Were you on Love Island? Oh, God, no. If your children are well behaved. If you have a walk-in wardrobe, you have it all. These are what people have responded when they say, they've got it all. Oh, I don't. Is this controversial? I don't like walk-in wardrobe, you have it all. These are what people have responded when they say they've got it all. Is this controversial? I don't like walk-in wardrobes.

I've always wondered what the buzz is. I find them messy unless there's a door on them. Oh, yeah, no, there's a door. You can just shut the door in the mess. Some don't have a door and you can see the open mess. I don't like it. And don't have it messy. Just keep it organised. Have a cavity slider at the end. I don't like it. And don't have it messy. Just keep it organised. Have a cavity slider at the end.

At least, you know. Mine goes from dark to light. It's colour gradient. Sorry, miss I've got it all. Mine goes from floor to other part of the floor. Mine's lots of T-shirts on the floor and just jumbled order in the wardrobe. Okay. You have the latest iPhone.

You have a senior title at work. Oh, okay. You've got a senior announcer. I'm also a senior announcer. I've also recently been added to the senior management leadership team. No, you haven't. SMLT. Right, okay.

Just you emailing them being like, hey, guys, I'm a part of this team now. That's not. Well, they didn't. SMLT. Right, okay. Just you emailing them being like, hey guys, I'm a part of this team now. That's not. Well, they didn't say no. I also absolutely refuse to go to their meetings. Yeah, horrible things. Your house is always spotless. But the top five,

so these are the top five things that make it seem like you have it all. So if you want to look like you've got it all, this is what you've got to put out there. Yeah, even though you might be on the verge of an absolute breakdown and your life is a mess, if you've got these things. So this is what you need to put on Instagram. Number five, you can eat what you want

without gaining weight. You sons of bitches, I hate you. You do have it all. That's a great point. I hate you so much. Stop it. Stop your face. Number four, you have perfect teeth. Yeah, you are. Oh, you Col much. Stop it. Stop your face. Number four, you have perfect teeth. Yeah, you are. Oh, you Colgate model. Aw. You could be a Colgate model.

You've got really white teeth. The before. I don't. It would be the before. Too much coffee. Yeah. Too much cigarettes. The heroin's making my gums recede.

Jesus. The meth's making my teeth fall out. But I can't say no to those sweet treats. Number three. Stop joking, please. no to those sweet treats. Number three. Stop joking, please. Why? I mean, bubbly watering. Oh, yeah. I've been drinking too much bubbly water.

Yeah, dentists don't like the bubbly water. Oh, what do they like? Whinging packets. Well, just go back to the whiskey. I don't know why you've taken a break. Did you? Kidney. Oh, right.

Okay. Number three. Sore organs. Anonymous internal pain. Signs you've got it all. Your internal organs are working. Yeah, they don't hurt. Number three, you can decide which hours you work.

That's a good one. Oh, that's a dream, yeah. All those people that can work remotely on a beach in Bali. Number two, you're able to travel business class. Ooh. Yeah, that's fancy. And number one, you love your job. That is the number one sign that seems like you have it all,

if you love your job. Well, you know what they say. What? Find a job you'll love. Yep. And you'll hate it within a couple of months. Because it's a job and you're being told what to do, essentially. Turn your hobby into your job.

And soon enough, you'll hate that as well. That's good wisdom from you today, Vaughn. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Megan. We just got sidetracked. There's been reports of a baby born with a tail in Brazil. 12 centimetres long. That's long on a baby.

It's a true tail. They just cut it off, though. To the side. I don't know what the deal is because apparently I have to pay to read the rest of this article and I won't. I refuse. Oh, Megan's found it. Yeah, see, now you have to pay to read more of the article, too.

Oh, that looks horrible, doesn't it? What? Why? There's a ball at the end. I'll have one. I'll have it. I know you've said you wanted a tail for a long time. They might want it. Look, I'm at the age now where I could have a tail.

I can't see a single social downfall of me having a tail. Yeah. I don't go out very often. I'm not trying to, like, make anybody fall in love with me. Your jeans won't fit. Yeah, they will. You just cut a hole. Cut a hole.

Yeah. Well, women's TikTok has gone viral. She, it seems like she has one of those, like, security cams or some kind of cam in her kitchen. I don't know if she, maybe she monitors her cat. Or it's a security. Oh, like a

nanny cam or a, yeah. Or it's a security camera that she can log into. Well, she had a couple of tradies round to, I think they were of tradies round to, I think they were moving something or fixing something, but she has caught them slagging off her interior decor, her home decor. Now, she has a lot of pink in her house.

Now, I can't play you the TikTok audio. It's quite hard to hear. Right. Because it is like a security cam kind of footage, but you can hear the workers not approving of the pink. One of them says, God, everything's pink, the refrigerator, the washing machine, the dishwasher. And then one of them also said, this girl has pink shit everywhere.

It does sound ghastly. The fellow co-worker appeared to be utterly disgusted and said, yuck. And it's had 3.7 million views. You can find it on TikTok. But I think she's done that thing where she's vinyl wrapped her fridge. Oh, I was going to say, how do you get a pink washing machine? And look at it. It is disgusting.

Oh, it's not what I imagined. And she's put stickers. Is there a pattern? Yeah, like one of those things you would see on that Kmart hacks page. Yeah, they're like, how to do your kitchen up by only spending $10. Hey, Kmartians, I've found a little hack. But yeah, so she's stuck like pink stickers onto her dishwasher around all the buttons. And it's a disgusting.

And then she's got pink curtains. She should have known it wasn't for everyone though. Like as long as she likes it. Yeah. Some people kind of jumped on it and they said, oh, they're just men and they hate pink. What's wrong with that? It's not a huge interior decor colour, is it? Yeah, like you found that quite yuck, didn't you?

I mean, it's not for me. I don't know what the fridge is patterned. Yeah, it's quite something. But I do love when people are getting caught, when people are caught slagging something off. When you catch out someone.

Like talking shit about you. Isn't that the... I mean, it's horrible. It's like we were just saying like how horrible it would be to do a Comedy Central roast. Yeah. And that's like your friends in front of you. Yeah. And they know that you can hear them. Yeah.

I wouldn't, I don't want to hear, you were like, it would be amazing to catch someone. I don't want to hear what they have to say about me. Oh no, it wouldn't be nice. It would just be like something though, wouldn't it? It would be a revelation. I don't want to hear what they have to say about me. Oh, no, it wouldn't be nice. It would just be like something, though, wouldn't it? It would be a revelation that I don't need to hear. If you were a tradie, would you? Oh, I'd always think I was on that 2000s show Target. Yeah.

Where they caught all the tradies going into everyone's undies drawers. Just assume there's a hidden camera everywhere. Yeah, that's what I would. I think that show did wonders for just everything. Like, you know, how- Behaviour in other people's houses. How tradies behave in other people's houses, yeah. Yeah, gotcha.

Because wouldn't you, if you were a tradie now, wouldn't you just always remember all those tradies? I wouldn't be sniffing panties anymore, that's for sure. Nah, you had to get better. Not like the good old days. Not like the good old days. Back in the 80s, no bloody hidden cameras there were there. In fact, it was encouraged.

Yeah. Fix the fridge and have a sniff. You just caught yourself saying that. Build a retaining wall, have a sniff. Sure. But I was wondering this morning, is there anybody listening that has caught someone slagging them off or like, you know, their house or something that they've caught

and they didn't know that you could hear them? What about like co-workers? Yeah, or like, you know when someone replies all to an email and they don't delete what's been said about them and down below the email because they think that, well, they just don't think and they don't delete what's been said about them and down below the email because they think that, well, they just don't think and they just forward it on. Yeah, I know. Megan's a bitch.

Just humor her with the above. You're like, ah, excuse me? I can see all of that. Yeah. Well, a woman's TikTok has gone viral. Millions of views. She's got tradies slagging off her pink kitchen. To be fair, she had vinyled all her whiteware appliances.

Oh, it's a hideous kitchen. But hey, it's her kitchen. She wants it, you know. Yeah. Good on her. But we want to know when you've caught someone slagging you off or maybe your kitchen decor. Mike messaged in,

I had a famous person rubbish me when I took on a new job and in an email I saw it. So I replied to the email and called him a not very nice word. I got in trouble for it, but I don't really care. Well, yeah, you've got to stick up for yourself. The rule is, Mike, we don't say it out loud, but you've got to tell us. Like a New Zealand famous person. Why, they just said famous person.

We need to know who the famous person is. Yeah, absolutely. Because we've got a dossier behind the scenes. And it can't be one of those famous people when you get name suppression as, like, well-known New Zealander. And then I get all excited and I ask some people and they tell me and I'm like, that's not a well-known New Zealander. And they said, yeah, that's just the lawyer's defence

to keep name suppression for these people. Behind the scenes, by the way. Half the time, name suppression isn't nearly as interesting as you think. You know you're not meant to know the name because it's name suppression. No, no. I'm allowed to know the name. No, you're not allowed to know the name because it's name suppression. No, no. I'm allowed to know the name. No, you're not allowed to know the name. Me.

You're not a journalist. Yes, I am. I've got a swipe card. I can get into the Herald with this. Okay, right. So that by proxy, you're a journalist. And do what? Write a story.

Hells yeah. I could write a story. I mean, heck, you always tell me the name suppression, so I guess I'm in trouble. Yeah, but you're a journalist too. You've got a swipe card. I've got the swipe card as well.

Okay, great. I wouldn't dare tell anybody without a swipe card. I found a notepad in the staff room once with notes on it about things that a colleague had been writing about me. I was a manager at the time, and they were trying to get my job. I ended up leaving, so they got what they wanted. Oh, no. I would have made it my daily mission

to absolutely make their life hell. Yeah. Like turn work into a fun game of payback. My colleague needed help on her computer. I went over to help, and she was emailing the bosses slugging me off. Come on now. That's just dumb.

That's, yeah. That's just dumb. All right, yeah. That's just dumb. All right, well, keep your texts coming in. 0800 DARS at M is the number. You can text 9696. Whenever you've caught someone slagging you off, you're talking about when you've caught someone slagging you off. A woman's TikTok has gone viral.

She caught tradies slagging off her really pink house. Anonymous joins us. Anonymous, you caught a co-worker. Yeah, is that me? Yes, it is. Yeah, so I was on the bus and she was a couple of seconds ahead of me and she's just slagging me off to this other guy she's talking to.

Anyway, we were getting off at the stop and I just happened to say alright Jo, we'll catch you tomorrow about the display that you didn't like, and we'll fix it all up. And she just looked at me. I love your sass, though.

I love it, because you're either going to be one of two people. You're going to say something, or you're going to sink in your seat and hope they don't see you when they get off the bus, right? Yeah, well, I was her manager, so she really didn't like that. But I got a text the next day from my boss that goes, oh, she's sick she's not coming in. I was like, I wonder why. Because you would be

mortified, eh? You'd just be like, oh, oh, absolutely busted. Yeah, definitely. Did she end up sticking around? No, she probably left about another two months after that but it was I did make it my mission to make her life a little bit more difficult at work. Well, we don't, we don't say that to HR at all.

Anonymous six, you call some messages in. Of other people who have caught people slagging them off. I got caught out slagging off a flatmate. He walked in to the kitchen adjoining the lounge. I was in the lounge calling him a shitty friend and a man of the evening, a man of the night, a promiscuous gentleman. Oh, okay. Yeah, right. He got me back, though, because he slept with my girlfriend.

Well, he wasn't wrong then, was he? No. It's not exactly a win-win for you. You were right, but it came at the ultimate cost. My ex-mother-in-law ex-mother-in-law and i work in the same company and i came up in the lift and the doors open and i heard her slagging me off to another colleague just outside the lifts yeah you never got by the lifts no i don't know who that's gonna because and the sound goes down there it does it travels down the shaft. Yeah, it does. See how I tried to just like, I'll carry on.

No, I know that you did a smirk. I did a smirk. Check the audience. I smirked. You smirked. People at home can't hear a smirk. You didn't say anything if you just carried on. I nodded. I was looking for the next text message. No, if you're going to say shaft on the show, you've got to be willing to clean up the mess you make.

Your shaft got us into this trouble. And don't tell me your shaft hasn't got you into trouble before that you've weaseled your way out of. So this is another situation of you needing to clean up your mess. Clean up your own mess. My nephew told me I wasn't his favourite auntie. It was completely out of the blue. Oh, my God.

How old is he? It wasn't even the fact that I overheard it. He's three. Oh. Absolutely unwarranted. I didn't need to hear that. But after a McDonald's for lunch and watching Frozen 2 twice in the afternoon, he did tell me I was his favourite.

Oh, my God. He actually, he psychologically manipulated you. That's a serial killer there in the making. Yeah, don't applaud the serial killers of tomorrow, Megan. Don't applaud them. ZM's Flesh Warner Megan. Play ZM. Hey, you on the phone, I bet I can guess your mum's name.

Frances joins us for I Bet I Can Guess Your Mum's Name. Good morning, Frances. Hi, good morning, guys. How are you? Good. Now, I believe. Frances. Yeah.

E-R-E-S. Frances. F-R-A-N-C-I-S. Oh, I-S. Okay. I know it sounds a boy name, but I'm a girl. I can guarantee you that. No, no, no.

No, that's not a. I didn't think it was a boy's name. That wasn't one of mine. You're just saying it's a rare name, do you think? Yeah, I don't know. Wait, tickle me by surprise. Okay, well, I believe, Frances, Mum is also next to you in the car.

Yes, she is. Oh, so I don't know if that's added help or added pressure for you, Vaughn. But, Frances, Vaughn will ask you five questions about your mum and then have 15 seconds to try and guess her name. If he can do that, $100 cash is yours. Coming off an absolute hot streak.

No pressure, Vaughn Smith. I still don't have my last question, but I feel like that's going to be like... It'll come. Yeah, it'll come to me when I kind of start getting the vibe. Speaking of vibes, question one, what's mum's vibe? Like, what kind of mum is mum? What's her vibe?

She's pretty funky. She's not like a normal mum, I'd say. She's a cool mum. Oh, okay. She's a funky mum. Funky mum. Funky mum. Okay.

That's good because I thought people might be like, what do you mean your mum's vibe? Like, my mum's farmer mum. Yeah, right. Like she's got a farmer mum vibe. She's no nonsense. Yeah, she's been no nonsense. That kind of comes with the old traditional farmer-y,

no nonsense mum. Your mum's funky mum. Yeah, she's like bubbly and outgoing. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. So we're going to need a fun mum. Yeah, fun. Ange. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. So we're going to need a fun mum. Ange. Oh, yeah.

Oh, no. Ange. By the way, you don't tell me while I'm going through if I'm right or wrong. I don't know if your ono was like, he nailed it, or imagine if it's Ange straight off the bat. Yeah.

If it's not an Ange, it'll be a hey, I'm pretty cool My name's Paula Paula Debs Could be a Debs Paula

Do you reckon Debs A Debbie Well if she was Debra Or Debbie She'd probably go by Debs With a Z If she ever owned a business It would have been like

Debs Yeah Debs Or any subsidiary Of Debs Is on the list Debbie is on the list. Debbie is on the list. Maria.

Sharon with an O. Sharon. Sharon. She's laughing. But it should be Shaz. Yeah, it should be Shaz. A funky mum would be. Shaz's cuts.

Because that's. Yes, Shaz's. And she didn't know what to do with the possessive at the end of Shaz. Just leave it off. Shaz. Yeah. Well, just with a possessive at the end of Shaz. Just leave it off. Shaz. Yeah. Well, just with a possessive apostrophe, no further S required.

Shaz's. I don't know. You probably want to consult an English professor on that one, Shaz. Okay, cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. I just want one more. Marie. Oh, my God.

So full of life. I don't know what's happening when Frances is laughing, if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I think it's a bad thing. She's laughed a lot. Okay, next question. What are mum's siblings' names? Oh, wow. So we're from South Africa and Dutch.

So you have Marika and Joan. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, so you have Marika and Joan. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You've got Marika, which would never have been on my list. Yep. And Joan, which sounds like we're playing, can I guess, your grandma's name. And then her brother's name is Henkie. Oh, no one's winning cash today. I called a South African twang and I was like,

you're in trouble, sweetheart. Intern, aren't you? She's like, got you this week. Am I allowed to say something? Oh, I don't know. I'll take my headphones off. I'll take my headphones off. You can say it to Fletch. He can judge whether or not I can hear it. Okay, you go over I'll take my headphones off. No, I don't. I'll take my headphones off. You can say it to Fletch.

He can judge whether or not I can hear it. Okay, you go over there and take your headphones off. Go to the corner, please, and block your ears. Hang on a sec. Sing Mary Had a Little Lamb or something. Okay, tell us, Frances. So, although her family's members are all Dutch and Afrikaans, my mum's name is English.

Oh, right. Okay, Vaughan, come back, please. No, I don't think we need to tell them that. We don't need to tell them that. Okay, here we go. Will you tell me at the end? No, you just continue on as you were. Okay, buddy Marika and Jonan.

Oh, was it Hanky Panky? Did your friends, this might be a bit awkward because mum's sitting there. Did your friends ever think your mum was hot? Were they like, you've got a hot mum? What is that? I think they still think my mum was hot? Were they like, you've got a hot mum? What is that? I think they still think my mum's hot. Oh! Okay, well, there you go.

That's a good one. Hot mum list. That's a hot mum. What's a hot mum name? I'm just thinking like models from the, like, 80s. Oh, yeah. Claudia. Yeah.

Naomi. Yes. Claudia. Yes. What about Rachel Like Rachel Hunter She did the Stacey's mom video

Didn't she Yes Stacey's mom Yes Got it going on Heidi Heidi Yeah

Cindy What You said it No you're not Supposed to tell me Yeah This is the part Where I'm collating My list You bloody did it Are you kidding You said it. No, you're not supposed to tell me yet. This is the part where I'm collating my list.

You bloody did it. Are you kidding me? This is the part where I'm collating my list of moms. You've ruined the game, Frances. That's not how it works. I just thought you needed a helping hand. No! Can I just point out, this is the first time I'm playing this game. Oh, right, okay.

Well, that's all right. Normally, Frances, we'd wait till the end. We go through the five questions. You give me no hot or cold sort of indication. And then at the end, I read the list out. Yeah, yeah. See, this is a failing of the producers today. What they did is they spent too much time

trying to stitch me up with bloody Henke and Marika and Joan. And they didn't say, are you aware of how the game works? I would say it is a bad week

to have a pay review. I'll be in that pay review. Absolutely. Denying any advancement in financial well look should we just should we just go through

should we just go through the list like we would and then we can move on to the dad's name should I ask the two more questions no I think we're done because we know the name well let's just

I decided my last one was be like can we hear your mum's voice because if mum's there that could have been an indicator but well Francis let's just for the game

let's just play Vaughn now has 15 seconds to guess your mum's name when that could have been an indicator. Well, Francis, let's just, for the game, let's just play. Vaughan now has 15 seconds to guess your mum's name. When you hear it, yell out, stop, that's my mum's name. Your time starts now. Ange, Paula, Debs, Maria, Sharon, Marie, Wendy, Claudia, Naomi, Rachel, Heidi, Cindy. Yeah, stop, that's my mum's name. Oh, wow, who knew? Oh, Heidi, Cindy. Yeah, stop. That's my mum's name. Oh, wow. Who knew?

Oh, you did it. I can't believe that the hot mum question that you debated asking is the question that got us. I did a flex before we went on air. I was like, isn't it appropriate? I had, how hot is your mum? Yeah. And he's like, I don't know. And I was like, yeah, it doesn't feel right.

And I was like, should we say, like, do your friends think your mum's hot? Okay. Okay, well, you have now, Frances, we'll just explain how this works. You have triggered the bonus round. The bonus round. While you're on the phone, I'll have a go at guessing your dad's name. Now, Francis, because it is your first time playing the game, what we do here is Vaughn now has one guess at your dad's name.

Now, we do banter. No clues. No clues for you. Yeah, we do kind of suggest some names during the game. What we do here is Vaughan now has one guess at your dad's name. Now, we do banter. No clues. No clues from you. Yeah, we do kind of suggest some names during the process. If you do hear your dad's name, please remain silent. Okay. Wait for Vaughan to settle on one name. Francis and?

Well, I'm thinking last week I kind of opened it up to the vibes from Megan. Yeah. Because a clue from earlier, South African. And do you know lots of South African names? Do you want me to go to an authentic South African producer? Jared could sort of like vibe me some names. Well, I don't know. But he might not be South African.

It might be an English name rather than South African. So I'm assuming Dad came with. It might be an English name rather than South Africa. So I'm assuming dad came with. It may be an English name though. What English names are popular among South Africans? Andrew. John. Like your husband's Andrew.

John. Michael is his dad. These are all boring dad English names. I liked Hansa because of Hansa Cronje, but what about Jonti? Oh yeah. What about Jonti? It could be Jonti. Jronje. But what about Jonti? Oh, yeah. What about Jonti? It could be Jonti.

Jonti. Or John. Jonti. Nah. Nah? I don't know. You need South African Jontis. Jonti.

Jonti Rhodes. Cricketer. Hockey player. No. Jonti. I don't. I mean, I don't know. Yeah.

I'm just going to go Jonti. I don't. I'm kind of drawing a blank here. I feel like the whole vibe got thrown off with a slightly less conventional, I better can guess your mum's name. Yeah. Okay, is your dad, what? You don't want to ask Jared what's a real common

South African... Dad's name? Dad's name. What's your dad's name, Jared? Send it through. Jonty, he said Jonty. What's your dad's name, Jared? Send it through. John... He said John... No, he said...

Okay, Robert. Robert. Andre. And then he laughed at Jonty. Oh, right. Okay. Yeah, I think that's a niche. Frances, congratulations on being so quiet during this.

You won? You won? Yeah, it was difficult. That was difficult. You won? Ruan. I thought you said Juan. I know a few Ruan's. Ruan. It was difficult. Ruan? Ruan. I thought you said Juan. I know a few Ruans.

Ruan. Now I'm going to go with Jonty. I've got a good feeling about that. Throw it down here. I think you're wrong. In my heart. Okay, Francis, what's your dad's name?

His name is Marty. Marty! You lost. Wow. Well, you lost the bonus round But I won the mum's You won the mum's round You can't win them all baby $100 Frances

Congratulations Yay Thank you so much guys Vaughan would you like to talk to Cindy? The mum? That was creepy Didn't mean it to be I think so

Can we say hi to mum? Yeah Hi mum Hi how are you? Really good thanks That was creepy. Didn't mean it to be. I think so. Can we say hi to mum? Yeah. Hi, mum. Hi, how are you? Really good, thanks. I don't know what else to say. Was that fun? What are you doing today?

We're good at flirting with mums. What are you doing today, Cindy? I've got to go to work. Oh, unless you love work. Oh, yes. There's enough flirting for me for one day. I'm okay. I don't know what to work. Oh, unless you love work. Oh, yes. Yeah, that's enough flirting for me for one day. I'm okay.

Have a good day. Bye. Pardon me? I just said have a good day, guys. Oh, thank you. You have a great day too. Thank you, Francis and Sydney.

That was definitely two-way flirting. Watch out, Marty. I don't want to spoil your party, Marty, but she made the play for my hearty. What are you? Stop it. Thank you, Francis. I don't want to spoil your party, Marty, but she made a play for my hearty. Why do you stop it?

Thank you, Francis. Next on the show, Vaughan, you've got an issue with Facebook Marketplace again. I don't know why I'm bothering with humans. So stop! Okay, well, there might be a bit of an etiquette problem here. We need to deal with this next on the show. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Megan. You may have heard, may not have heard,

about my runaround at the end of last week regarding a Facebook Marketplace purchase. It's a whole thing. Again, this is your fault for participating in Facebook Marketplace. True. I know there are no, like, seller's fees and stuff. But that also means little to no responsibility. It's a little bit dodgy.

And just a pain in the ear. But I can't stop myself. I found myself on the ring yesterday. And because I searched cast iron once, it's now like, hey, baby, here's my cast iron. And I can't say no when it was there. You sent me a link yesterday, and I was like, smithies back on the marketplace. How good was that thing?

You know, she's been after one of them tortilla presses. There was a cast iron one for $30. Did you get it? No, it got snapped up. It was sold out by the time she was gone. Next time, I'll just get it. I'll be that person that's like, I saw this. I know you wanted one, so I've got it.

And then I'll charge you slightly more than what I paid for. Yes. And then that's called old school drop shipping. Yeah. I'll drop it off for free, but it's going to cost you some money. So there was another pan, two more pans. Yeah. So I've made two inquiries.

One inquiry, TBC, I feel it's going well. This person said, yo, just look, I'll leave it in the letterbox. I said, is cash cool? And they said, yeah, just leave the cash in the letterbox, in an envelope. And I was like, that's very trusting. Well done. I mean, it's hardly a car purchase, is it? No, no, it's not

$20 for some old metal bag. $35 for an old pan. But, you know, kept seasoned. They really sold me on the pan. They've looked after it. So there was this other one and I was like, I want that one too.

And I said, sweet, you've got yourself a deal because that's what I don't say and that is still available because apparently that drives people nuts. So I just come in hot

with a sweet, you've got yourself a deal. Yeah. And they said, all good. I'm working from home so any time for pickup is good. And I said,

cool, I'll bring cash. And they said, no, I don't is good. And I said, cool, I'll bring cash. And they said, no, I don't do cash. And I said, what do you mean you don't do cash? And they said, no one accepts cash anymore. I was like, everywhere accepts cash. It's legal tender. They are legally required to accept cash. They don't want to.

It's not a priority if you've got EFTPOS that's preferred, and I totally get that contactness in this world. Yeah, but do they mean because of the pandemic, they don't want your COVID-y money? I could give the money a pre-wipe and also leave a mini hand sanitizer. Well, it's actually waterproof. So you could fill a container

with like a centimetre of hand sanitizer and just submerge the money. Swipe it through. And do a sheep dip with the money. Yeah, and then they could rinse it off and peg it on the clothesline. Boom. Boom.

Ba-da-bing, ba-da-boom. But they said, no, bank transfer only. And I said, okay, cool. Well, when I get to your place and see it there, I'll bank transfer and send you a screenshot. And they said, no, the money must be in my account before I'll even give you the address. Oh, this sounds –

And I was like, that's sketchy. That's a no from me. That's a hard no. Yeah, there's trust issues here. like, that's sketchy. That's a no from me. That's a hard no. Yeah, there's trust issues here. I'm no fool. Yeah. And they may have been burnt, but I got burnt. Yeah.

It's a double burn. You don't want to go all the way over there. No. Again, it was a little bit of a drive. Okay. So who's in the wrong here? Because I said it to the producers and they said I was in the wrong for floating cash in the first place.

You both producers believe in the wrong for floating cash in the first place. You both producers believe in the wrong. Yep. The thing is, Trade Me, you can do that because you can see they're authentic members. You can see that they've done 1,000 or 500 or 200 trades. But Marketplace, you don't know if that's

a fake profile. Marketplace has ratings. She said check my feedback. Yeah. I didn't, there you go then. I didn't want to admit I'm old and I didn't know how. Oh, come on. But then I tried to look more at her profile and she only had one profile picture and nothing else was visible.

So that's their Marketplace profile. No, I went into the next part. Okay, that's weirder. No. Have I overstepped? No, you've got to stalk who you're buying something from to see if they're real. You've got to imagine from her point of view,

she doesn't know who you are and you want to come and turn up and see the pan. She doesn't know who I am. Where's she been for 17 years? This is a high-profile New Zealander. A legendary. A legend. Do you just literally say...

A legend of the broadcasting industry. Do you know who I am? I'll stop short. I'll stop short. Do you know who I am? I'm on the telly. I'll stop short of the C word, but it's on the tip of the tongue. I'm surprised you didn't.

Excuse me. Have you seen, have you been paying attention? Hello. I'm on the, just catch an eye on a bus sometime. Oh, Jesus. I'm surprised you didn't drop in that you're friends with Ursula Carlson. I could bring her around. Oh, my God.

Look, there's, you know. I mean, you can't holiday places because you're so popular. No, there's places. Flood. Mobbed. Yeah. Mobbed. We can't do photos at the moment.

Do you know how heartbreaking that is to look into someone's eye when they want to get a selfie with their favourite broadcaster and they can't? It's the sort of heartbreak I can't stand in public. Christchurch, for example. There's always a couple of people in the airport with signs. Tell people you're joking. You sound like a penis.

I mean, I think people can pick up the sarcasm, but just in case. Of course. We're not dealing with a Hosking here. He hides. He's the opposite. He runs his mouth and hides away at the weekend. That's exactly what you do.

I know, but I'm saying it's the opposite of the portrayal I was just putting out there. I run my mouth and hide away at the weekend. It's $30. And if they've got good feedback. For a photo with me and I'm doing this for free. I mean, that's the difference between me and you. You charge people.

I'm still doing it for nothing. Call me old fashioned. No, I mean for the thing you're trying to buy in Facebook Marketplace. It's $30. She doesn't want to give it to you unless you've paid for it. Yeah, I wouldn't be depositing giant amounts, like for a car, for example. No.

But for a pan, if she's got good feedback, do it. I don't know how to see her feedback. I don't know what the pan's doing. After the show, talk to Karwen at the social media desk. She'll show you. She's going to have to sit down and run her dad through this. Karwen, can you help dad here? Hold on, I can now.

What do I do? I see details. Here's the pan. What do I do? I see details. Here's the pan. It's a good looking pan. If you're gonna mess around on Marketplace, you gotta know what you're doing. 22 centimetres across the bottom. Actually, that's smaller than I thought it was gonna be. Okay, so now you're not buying the pan? I like it because it's never been washed with soap, so it's retained its seasoning. So it really sticks. You can even cook eggs easily.

One small nick, I assume, for manufacturing on the handle. See, that sounds like they're blaming the manufacturer for a nick they put in the handle. Five stars off 11. Is that good? Is that good? That's all right? Okay, well, she's not going to sell you the pen now.

You've slagged her off on air. She joined Facebook in 2005. That's a good sign, right? Yep. No one's giving up a historic account like that. Wait, joined Facebook in 2005? That wasn't even a thing in 2005. No, it wasn't.

Ha, I'm not buying anything off this person. All right, fact of the day next. ZM. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Let me tell you a little something about fact of the day. I reluctantly, reluctantly will mention a world record. Reluctantly.

But the well was dry, ladies and gentlemen. What was it? The bucket hit the bottom. Okay. And I was like, sorry, kids. Sorry, kids. No facts today. No water from the well today.

I wound the bucket up and there was only dust in there. So I have reluctantly delivered a fact of the day regarding a world record this world record was set on on the 12th of october 2009 and as yet remains unbroken it is the greatest distance moonwalked in one hour okay it had to be officially the moonwalk it couldn't just be a backward foot slide it had to fit the criteria of the illusion of a slidey foot. Until the Michael Jackson signature dance move, the moonwalk. Because I thought for a moment it was actual moonwalk. Oh, you mean like walking on the moon?

Yeah. No, no, no. I was like, well, of course not. Everybody's got that record. What country do you think this took place in? And this person who did it is also a native of this country. Japan. Not Japan.

Part of Japan of ex-Soviet states. It's not. Croatia is where this took place. Kronoslav Budasalic Nailed it. Took a shot. He did this at the

Moldav Stadium in Zagreb. Zagreb? Yep. Zagreb in Croatia. That's the capital. He moonwalked in one hour. He moonwalked 12 laps of a 455 metre track, plus an additional 240 before the hour

ran out. So he set the record for the most distance, 5.7 kilometres moonwalked in one hour. And they would have been filming that to make sure he wasn't lifting his feet in the wrong place. He broke his own previous record of 5.2 kilometres, but he hasn't broken it since. Did he suffer an injury?

I reckon you'd have sore calves or something. You'd have a sore something. I don't know what. Achilles a bit, but you'd want to have practice. Yeah, you'd want sore carbs or something. You'd have sore something. I don't know what. Archilles a bit. You'd want to have practice. Yeah, you'd want the practice. A lot of steps. But you think about if you're just moseying. I wouldn't say walking with any purpose but if you're moseying, you're probably

sitting at about 5.7 k's an hour. Not you. You walk like a mum in a hurry. Like a gallop. Yeah, you look like a mum who's walking to an appointment and she's half an hour early but you just never know. Right. So you're walking.

You just look like you're constantly wanting to talk to the manager. Yeah. Well, sometimes I am. You're on a swift walk to tear someone a new one for bullying your little boy. You're walking into that school straight into the principal's office. So that's an unknown pace for you.

But 5.7km an hour, that's a mosey. Yeah. So he did quite well to keep it up for an entire hour. So today's fact of the day is a Croatian man called Kronoslav has the Guinness World Record for moonwalking the most distance in one hour at 5.7km. Fact of the day day day day day well a recent study has found that people with social anxiety spend more time editing their photos, videos, and captions on Instagram

compared to those without social anxiety. Who are those people that don't have social anxiety? So the findings suggest that that's because their self-worth is more strongly tied to recognition from other users on the platform. So just another way that Instagram's messing with your state. Do you reckon this giraffe did any touch-ups? I'm just opening up Instagram and there's a giraffe. Do you reckon that giraffe's done any touch-ups?

Oh, that looks touched up. Oh, that's a great photo. It's a beautiful photo. Of a giraffe eating a flower. But I guess what is your standard edit time or slash filter time? The captions are always hard. Captions are way harder. Does that mean you've got social anxiety?

Well, because I don't, you write a novel for your captions. It's important to tell a story. A picture tells a thousand words and then you put another thousand words. My last caption was four words because I was like, I don't care too much

about the captions. And I've stopped putting the filter up memory, but I bought presets and I put them on all my photos and then you guys took the first out of me so I stopped doing it.

You had your influence of presets. Yeah. What do you call that when all your grid's got a theme? I don't know. Like a colour palette. Yeah. Some people do that as well.

Yeah. You've got too much time on your hands. Yeah, well I don't do that either now because you guys took the piss out of me, so. You got too much, if you're doing that, you've got too much time on your hands. Get out in there and pick up some rubbish. Okay, Dad. That's what I'd say if I was in charge. Yeah, right.

Okay. Of everything. If you're changing how your waist looks because you're worried that someone's going to even look at your waist, get in there and pick up some rubbish. There's some recycling

that needs recycling. Get out there. Stop wasting your time. I'm glad you're here to sort out Instagram and all of the world's problems. You're worried about your lips not being as good

as Kylie Jenner's? Stop being stupid and get out there and pick up some rubbish. A person who's dragging your face out? not being as good as Kylie Jenner's? Stop being stupid. Get out there and pick up some rubbish. A person who's dragging your face out. What's wrong with the face you got? Get out there and plant a tree.

Why would you drag your face out? I don't know. What else do you do? Skinny people with skinny faces. They make it wider. They're worried about how skinny their face is. They make it wider, yeah. They're pumping up their face. Hey, you with cheekbones that I would say are just bloody fit for purpose.

Don't worry about making them more chiseled or sharp. Go pick some rubbish up. Get out there and bloody plant a tree. I can only think of plant a tree and pick up rubbish. Those are the only two things I can think of to tell people to do with their time. Ride a bike. Okay, I've got another one. What are you doing that three-quarter turn for and then changing you.

You look ridiculous. Get out there and ride a bike. Hey, you. Doing that pose and your togs where you're sticking your ass right out and you're leaning forward and you're trying to get the gap between your thighs and you're trying to do that. You look stupid side on. We all know that's a fake pose.

In fact, people who look after spinal health think you're doing yourself irreversible damage. Get out there and go for a walk on the beach. Okay, well, you've just solved Instagram and all that social anxiety. Next hot bikini model that comes up in your timeline, please write that as a catch comment. Get out there and go for a walk on the beach and pick up some rubbish. You look stupid side on. Yeah, what are you doing? If they were doing that

There'd be no one in your feed Yes there would be There'd be the giraffe Eating the flower You know we're big fans Of the instant coffee here Working at this time of the morning And no we're not allowed

To touch the barista's machine Oh yeah Megan got banned From the barista machine There's a big Passac note on there now. It says all of NZME staff but we're the ones that are right here

buying it. Yeah. So a lot of instant coffee drunk on the show. A lot of instant coffee and we're Macona boys aren't we? Oh we are Macona lads. You don't drink coffee? I have a Macona every morning. When? When I'm driving in my car. Oh do you have a jar at home?

Yeah. I didn't know you were a Macona gal. And then sometimes I'll join you for your 7am coffee. Yeah, sometimes. But you just have a weak one. You're like, not too much. And Fletch is putting in three spoons. You have three spoonfuls.

I have like a real shallow one. I have a smaller cup. And two spoons. And this is... That's a good idea. Yeah. Have a little smell smell Have a little sniff Daddy can't wait for his nine o'clock coffee

Yuck stop Can't wait to be drinking out of you again naughty little cup Oh my Can't wait to Mix a thick brown coffee In you can I My delicious little beverage. Anyway, that was yuck.

I'm glad you can. Somebody on Reddit posted this and somebody has told me about this before. Okay. Somebody once messaged me saying, me and the lads on the work site want to hook you up with an insider's secret. Okay.

And I was like, here we go. Am I finally being accepted by the trade community? Yeah. No. They said, I know you guys are talking about Makona, but you want to get in on this. And they told me about it at the time and I scoffed.

Yeah. I said, you silly, foolish fools. It was a recommendation. It was a recommendation to go for the special blend. Now, this... What special blend? It's just called special blend. It's instant coffee.

And it looks bougie, doesn't it? It looks budget. Oh, it's the opposite of bougie. It looks cheap. The opposite of the Kona. Well, it's $2 for a bag of 90 gram, which will usually rock you about $9. Well, yeah, the Kona's's on special might be six or seven. Yeah.

So 90 grams for a little bag of special blend. And this popped up on Reddit last night. And someone said, is it my peasant taste buds or is this $2 bag of coffee actually pretty dang good? And then other people are saying, yes, in fact, it was even voted in Metro magazines. It was number two in New Zealand's best instant coffees. What? What was number one in Metro's? A more expensive one.

Hold on. So a $2 instant coffee is up there with the best. The other one was Coffee Supreme Instant, and that was $13.99 for a seven pack. Oh, right. Whereas this does $2 for 90 grams, and 90 grams is a few coffees. And Mocona was well down the list, by the way. Yeah, right. Well, some people don't like the taste of Mocona.

I don't know what's wrong with it. There's a bit of a tang to it. But yeah, apparently this $2 bag of coffee is the go, and people in there are completely agreeing. Really? It just weirds me out that on the front it just says special blend, and there's a picture of a coffee. That's all it says.

But where does it come from? Who makes it? Yeah, who makes it? What's the detail? It a picture of a coffee. That's all it says. But where does it come from? Who makes it? Yeah, who makes it? What's the detail? It's not a supermarket budget brand, is it? No. It doesn't have any brands written on it. Special Blend is the brand.

It doesn't have any brands written on it. Special Blend is the brand. Right. Just Special Blend coffee. Yeah. Special Blend instant coffee. It's in the pantry. I'm just clicking.

This is a no-way affiliate added to New World, although I will happily accept a full set of their cookware that they're about to do stickers for. Yes. But again, this is not a pay-to-heals for New World who will soon be starting the cookware thing. Again, I don't know if I mentioned I want the whole set, but I do want the whole set.

You did mention that, yeah. But on the New World website, special blend, 90 grams, $2. It's a super saver. And it just says, Product of New Zealand. It doesn't say anything. It doesn't have a brand. Nothing. Wow.

Full flavour in every cup. I mean, I don't want to knock it before I've tried it. Yeah, because these people are all swearing by it. I mean, I guess we could try it, and then if we have to pour it down the sink, then... Text messages. Yeah. Special blend is so good. Okay.

So good. Well, this is good. We might be saving people some money. Yeah. Good stuff. Save a bit of money here, there. It all adds up in the long run. Oh, I'll pop.

I have to go to the supermarket today. I'll get us a bag and we can try it. Okay, we'll try it tomorrow. We'll do a blind taste test. Ooh. No, because I know I'm in Makona. And you get caramel. It's only because you get the caramel one.

Yes, yum. You're a bloody 64-year-old woman looking forward to getting her a superannuation check next birthday. Yeah, and I'm treating myself because my soup has come through. I'm getting the caramel. I always see special bland,

but the soup has come through and I'm still working. So, you know, I've worked hard. Sure, I bought a house in the 80s. It's now worth 25,000 times as much. That's, yeah.