ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 12th April 2021

Episode Date: April 11, 2021

Dogs get Jealous  Suez Canal Digger Driver  Top 6: Prince Philip  Community Notices  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!  GET YOUR WOF!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleeche Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Download the Maccas app to get McCafe rewards today. I've got a new gym to go to near home. It's closer to home. It's an anytime fitness. You're going now? Yeah. I went for the first day yesterday. Here's the problem. It's right above the new Burger King. Oh no. Throughout the workout smell Burger Kings. It wasn't your last gym above the McDonald's or over the road?

No, no, it was above a McDonald's, but they must have had some sort of air tightness situation. Right. So you didn't have. So it wasn't any Big Mac leakage? No, no Big Mac secret sauce leakage. That would have been too much. That would have broke me.

That's cruel, though, working out, and then the smell of hot chips when you come out of the building. The leaving the last one, so it was above a McDonald's, but then there was a tank, or no, a Peter Pat, one of those two, and then there's like a Turkish store, a Turkish place, a roast shop, and a laundromat.

So you'd get like food, food, food, hot, warm towels ready to be folded and popped back into the hot water cupboard, and then Turkish food. Wow, so that would really test your willpower. Oh, yeah. Well, this is why you need to come to our gym. We've been trying to get Vaughn to come along with us to the old Les Mills,

the trip. To do the cycling. Oh, the cycling class. It's so fun. Do it. Yeah, so we went on our first one on. Last week. Last week.

And you went twice over the weekend. Yeah, it's good cardio. Did you do two more trips? Yeah, I did two more. And we've already booked into three more this week. Last week. And you went twice over the weekend. Yeah, it's good cardio. Did you do two more trips? Yeah, I did two more. And we've already booked in three more this week. Wow. Yeah. You feeling it in the glutes?

No, because I did a bit of cycling anyway, so it hasn't been too bad. You need some padded pants. Do I? That's what you need. So do you know some people bring their cycling shoes to the class? Yeah, we were sitting down having a quick stretch because we arrived early because we were so keen. And then you hear like, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck. They're like, oh, he's going to hook himself to the machine.

And get it done. Yeah. Right. They're not keen to come along? Wait, so the people that bring their clip-clop shoes, are the pedals on the bikes clicky-clackies? Well, they're both. They can be. They can be.

Oh, so there's a split. There's a stirrup for your shoe. Yes. Or you can clip your clippity cloppers in there yeah you have a cycle with clip-clop shoes on it's actually so helpful really because you know when you lift your leg in a stirrup you're still going to kind of pull it up with you yeah or if you're biking with nothing that other leg's got to do this makes it more even yeah you're kind of constantly like angling your foot to get yeah and you're just like Lifting your foot And it just kind of Gives

It takes a little bit Of weight off the one The other one That's pushing At the same time Well maybe we should Get some I think

Fletch here's what you need Just for a class Like once or twice a week Yeah You need a padded You need a padded Pair of pants there To protect the gooch

The anus And the sack No I've got a rock hard Baton Yeah but It's been fine It'll be the rubbing That's the... Oh, my God. It'll be the rubbing that's the issue.

The pelvis bone hurts. Shoes. Yes. Cycling shoes are so expensive. Yeah. Anywhere from $119 to $200. Get a grip or can I get a new pair of knickies? You don't need to get a grip.

You can get a click. No need for grip on the bottom of the shoes. Why don't you trade me? Ew, no, I'm not doing... You manky old... Yuck. That is manky. Right, I'm not doing that. You manky old yuck. That is manky. Right. I'm going to have a look.

So you need a shirt, a tight shirt with some pouches on the back for bananas and muesli bars. We did joke about getting some sponsorship tops. Yeah. You know how cyclists always wear and they have like 100 sponsors on them? The shopping list of sponsors on them. Do you reckon that Cafe might do it for us? Might well, they sponsor the show

You're always welcome with a clip-clop at McCafe Hello, good morning, welcome to the show Fleach, Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul Thank you Rachel for that news bulletin I think someone's used these headphones and either had wet hair or washed them. They're damp. Someone may have given them a wipe.

They're damp on my head. Yeah, that doesn't sound good. If you see me like this today as well, moving my head with my shoulders, I've got a crook neck. Oh, what'd you do? Well, yesterday in the midst of a deep, dark hangover, I fell asleep after work for a couple of hours.

And I think I must have been so like, that it's, yeah, I've slashed money on it. You should have said, Vaughn and I have the massage guns. I've got a massage gun. Oh, well, you should have got the massage gun out. I didn't even think about it. Slam it with the massage gun. Yeah. I gave my shoulder the massage gun yesterday

and I'm feeling great today. Oh, I do love them. They're just magic, aren't they? Do you know what I've got as well? This is an unpaid endorsement. Yeah, I know. I've got these electro things, like these little sticky pads.

Yeah. They're very innocent. Right. And then you stick them on and they electric shock you. Is that the Dr. Ho's? No, I can't remember what the brand is.

But it's amazing. It's got an app and you can get like it goes like And it makes your muscles spasm. Makes your muscles spasm and it's so good. I'm going to be needing that

later on. Yeah, put that on the next. Right. The top six is coming up on the show. Yeah, the passing of Prince Philip on Friday night. I was playing Fortnite with the lads, and I got a little notification on my phone saying Prince Philip was dead. I was like, hold the game.

Prince Philip's dead, and then we died soon after. I thought they halted Fortnite worldwide for a BBC breaking news bulletin. Did you hear that radio station that did get interrupted? So there was a radio station and it was like a techno station over in America or something. And it was like, music started for the announcement. Weird. This like marching band music. That must have been in the UK, right?

Yeah. Where they just sort of cut all Oh yeah, it would have been, yeah. To announce it. So it's very funny, especially if everyone was like getting down to it and waiting for it. Wow. Alright, what are the top six dealing with Prince Philip's zone? The top six things he actually said. Yeah. Someone's compiled a massive list. Some of the

things I wouldn't repeat. No. Some of them very racially charged. I can't wait to see you stumble your way through this one then. Luckily, this list is like there's 100 gaffes he made, so I'm just going to pick six that really tickle my fancy. Next on the show. Winter is on its way, which means it's sick season. Everyone's going to be getting their floozies,

and I've got a very hot tip on how to avoid getting ill. If there was ever a year that you don't want to get sick, I think it's this year. Because people are going to start looking at you like, uh oh. Somebody even coughed

in public yesterday and didn't like cover their mouth and I was like. And now when you see it, you're like, excuse me? Even when I see people going into their hand, I'm like, where are you going to put that nasty hand? I wonder if in the future there's going to be less normal cold and flu. Because we've all trained ourselves to cough into our elbows, wash our hands. Well, it was like last year, the actual flu was more or less non-existent in New Zealand because everybody was stuck at home,

distancing, filling all the rules. Well, if you want to do your best to not get sick this cold and flu season, there's a few things you can do. Stay inside, cough into your elbow, have some vitamin C

or have an orgasm. Okay. So there is a doctor has chimed in to some TikTok videos. There was a true or false arousal and orgasm help you not get sick.

True or false? Then she confirmed it's true, explaining getting down, are the words she used, one to two times a week improves your immune system by 30%. Wow.

Is this why you're never sick? Never. Wow. Humble brag. No, but I'm guessing that just counts for playing with yourself too, right? Absolutely, that's what I thought. Oh, I guess so. It's an O, isn't it? Different roads. It's more about the O than it is about

the connection. Yeah, right. Different roads, same destination, you know? Yeah, exactly. Absolutely the same. But yeah, it spikes something in your immune system. Immunoglobulin levels go up and

that causes your immune system to be strengthened by 30%. That's quite a lot. Relieves stress, doesn't it? Yeah. Helps headaches. Yeah. 30%, that's quite a lot. Relieves stress, doesn't it? Yeah. Helps headaches. Yeah. Hangovers. I was not moving yesterday.

You weren't in the mood to. Stay away from me. But yeah, one or two weekly. Sexual encounters, they're saying. So it could be anything. One or two weekly. Bloody rookie numbers. Got to pump up those numbers.

Well, it's if you don't want any sick days, absolutely. Yeah. But they are saying that it can lead to other things because obviously sexually active people are slightly more exposed to other illnesses. Right. And infections. Right. The clap.

The clap. The herpily herpilys. The clemids. The clemids. Isn't it the clap? Wait, the clap is the clemids. Oh herpily herpilys. The chlamyds. The chlamyds. Isn't it the clap? Wait, the clap is the chlamyds. Oh, yeah, I don't know. The clap is the chlamyds.

I wouldn't know. The gons is different. Clean as a whistle. Yeah. Even urine infections. Oh, yeah. Yeah, right. Your pH is out of whack, eh?

So you might not get the flu, but you could get the herpily herpilys and a urine infection. So just sort of weigh up the pros and cons. Sure, right. Okay. There you go. I hope everyone just gets out there and gets it done today. As the weather starts to get a bit colder.

You've got to look after yourself. Yeah, you do. It also just keeps you warm in the colder months, doesn't it? It's only positives, yeah? Yeah. You'll be all right even though you're single, though, because it's not about the coupling. Yeah, right. Okay, good. It's you and there Yeah You'll be alright Even though you're single though Because it's not about the The coupling

Yeah right Okay good It's you and your damn self And whoever else wants to pop on And whoever Whatever Yeah There is no judgement here

Alright we'll just leave that there ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The podcast I am about to tell you a story Now I thought this was Research out of the United Kingdom But New Zealand I am about to tell you a story. Now, I thought this was research out of the United Kingdom. But, um... Ha!

New Zealand. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, it's Lotus! Like when you're watching a TV show and they say, we're going to go to New Zealand, or Barry's in New Zealand, and you're like, oh, my God!

Oh! Dogs get... Mm-mm. No, did you go? No, no. No? It wasn't interesting. Okay. Dogs get... No, did you go? No, no. It wasn't interesting. Okay. Dogs get jealous.

A study... Dogs get jealous. Wow, okay. Scientists have proven it. Most specifically, a scientist, Amalia Bastos, from the University of Auckland. Now, I say Bastos. I try to make it sound a bit flashy

because it's like Amelia except A-M-E. That's an A as well. Amalia. Amalia. Amalia Bastos. Who I'm just in a quick look. Oh yeah. You could send your inquiries in English, Portuguese or Spanish.

She also does photography. Beautiful pronunciation then. Right. And so I've never had a dog Neither You've never had a dog? Never had a dog

Too much responsibility Have a kid Did you have a dog growing up? No Cats Always cats We are a cat family Yeah

We had cats growing up Which was weird on a farm You think every farm has a dog But we didn't And then my parents Were talking to somebody And they needed a golden retriever rehomed. And so

they took on that dog and they've had dogs ever since. But they love dogs now. Immediately fell in love with dogs. They still love a cat. Right. But mostly dogs. You feel like there's so much effort. Yeah. You can't just... You can leave a cat for a day. You can leave a cat for a week. Yeah.

As long as you've got a ready supply of kereru, tui, fantails, all the other beautiful native birds. Oh, Raleigh killed a native bird once. Once. I don't know. Raleigh should be gassed. I don't know if you'd admit that on the radio. No, I'm saying it.

Wow. He didn't know the difference. A kiwi. What's a kiwi? A little blue penguin. It was a tui. Oh, my God. A tu? It was a tui. Oh, my God. A tui.

The beautiful tui. We were shooketh. When we first got Rolly, he used to bring in, he was just a predator. And he used to bring in fantails all the time. Not fantails. Sparrows all the time. You'd be like, oh, my God. That's all right.

They're a pest bird. I'm all right with them getting wiped out. It got to the point where when we'd go to the bathroom at the night, you'd have to have a torch in case you stood on a rat or a bird. Wow, hunter. Rat, rats, loved it. And then one night I was like, oh, there's a bird. Isn't it wee?

It was a little white. Well, it wasn't warbling. And then to deal with the bird, you're like, can I bury it? But in the bin, right? Just chuck it in the bin. Put it in a bread bag and chuck it in the bin. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So dogs get, aside from Mahaley's killer cat, dogs get jealous. They've done studies. There's videos of it. And this dog does look like genuinely like the dog's eyes look like, and what do you think you're doing? But not that sort of like low end. Right.

Treat a man, keep him keen sort of jealousy. Like they're just straight up like pet me instead. Why are you petting that dog? Why are you petting that dog? They used fake dogs, like just like dog toys and the dogs still got like jealous about it all. Silly. So what was the test?

They made the dog watch while they patted a soft toy dog. Yeah, the dogs on their lead saw their owner stroke the fake dog and then a screen was put up between the pet and the person so the dog couldn't see the dog that was stealing their pets or the owner. And then the owner just like stood still and did nothing and the dog continued to act like they had acted. So they assumed the worst.

When the screen goes down, the dogs will assume the worst. Imagine if your dog saw you get in a car with another dog and go to the beach. I know. Isn't that why when dog owners pet a dog, they'll be like, oh, my dog is going to be... And they smell it on you when they get hurt. I just googled. Apparently, cats can become jealous as well.

If they feel they're being excluded or their environment has changed drastically or suddenly. Like a baby. So there's a friend, yeah, a friend that, his sister had a baby and the cat just packed the shits. Oh yeah, our cat left. Yeah. Our cat left for, Anakin left for a week when we bought Indy home. Really? Yeah, because they're just like, all right, I guess I'm not your world anymore.

Yeah. What's that? And you've got to be careful because then if they go too far the other way, they jump in, they can smother a baby. Cats. They jump in the crib because it's like warm in that And they can just be like, well I'll sit on the warmest thing And that's the baby's face And then it can smother them Yeah, you've got to be really careful But the dogs even got jealous

When the owners patted just a cylinder With some like fleece around it The dog was like, hey, hey, hey What's that thing getting all the pats? A cylinder with fleece on it. They don't think it was a dog. Stupid dog. Apparently the researchers don't believe they thought it was a dog,

but they just thought that something else was getting pats that I want, and I want those pats. Right. Well, there you go. So if you want to pat another dog and you're with your dog, maybe get it to turn away. But this also should have been used if you've got a dog and if you've ever been patting a cat, the dog, like, if you've got a dog and if you've ever been petting a cat

the dog like if you're lying on the couch and you're petting a cat that's lying on you the dog will just put their nose everywhere and it's trying to get under a hand.

Yeah. Constantly. 622. We have all vowed that we're not going to snack today. We're being healthy but turns out

I didn't make this vow. This was made before I got here. You can't come in with your scones anyway. Snacking, it's bad. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Now I've been big on the schnacks. I've been big on the schnacks particularly since working here.

I was going to say working with you too but it's not you. It's not you. It's just that suddenly I've got like five extra hours of being conscious and I start filling that with food. It's totally what it is, I think. Just that suddenly I've got like five extra hours of being conscious. Yeah. And I start filling that with food. It's totally what it is, I think. Yeah.

You have two breakfasts. Double breakfast. I have breakfast when I get up. Yeah. And then I have breakfast when we finish. And then I might have, then I have lunch. And then I have snack. And then I have dinner.

There's just a whole extra meal in there. I know. At least. Sometimes I have snack, and then I have dinner. There's just a whole extra meal in there. I know. At least. Sometimes I have three breakfasts. But snacking is, I mean, we've known for a while that snacking can lead to weight gain and things like that, but particularly snacking late at night can lead to poor performance at work the next day. So they've done a study looking at the habits of snackers like myself.

You're not really a snacker, Vaughan. Not here. So you're a late night snacker. Tone down my snackers. I could definitely always do a snack after a meal. Yeah, you don't really snack. Oh, no, you just eat fruit the whole morning. Yeah, I eat a lot of fruit in the morning.

Yeah. So they did a study where they asked their participants three questions at three different points of the day before work, how they were feeling

after work, how their performance went at work, like how much work they got done and at night to find out what they'd snacked on

and it showed that the days where they had some unhealthy snacking before going to sleep or after dinner led to less effective workplace behaviour. Is that because the snacks you're having could be sugary and so then you don't get to sleep as well or as easy? When you have that kind of sugar running through you

when you're going to sleep, it disrupts everything. Disrupts your sleep. Disrupts your digestive system. They say that about drinking as well, right? If you're drinking, got too much sugar and booze coursing through your veins. Oh, yeah. I was listening to a podcast the other day that was talking about drinking. Because, you know, some people are like, oh, I'll just have a couple of glasses of wine. It'll help me get to sleep.

Yeah. And it was talking about the difference between quality sleep and unconsciousness. Right. So drinking leads to, I mean, you know, using unconsciousness is like, yes, you'll fall asleep, but you don't spend the right amount of time in the sleep zones, in the REM. Right. And that's where your body does all of its rejuvenating. And so when you are just unconscious and you're just in like a dead sleep, your body's not actually awake enough to do everything it needs to do,

repair itself. You have stated to us that this week is a no snacking week for you. I mean, I've been here for like three months maybe, and I've put on four kgs and just. That's not too bad. That's not too bad, honestly. I thought it would be more. But, yeah, I'm just going to have a lighter week. It's not too bad, honestly. I thought it would be more. But yeah, I'm just going to have a lighter week.

We go to the gym a lot. We've booked in some classes. We've booked in some classes this week. Yeah. The late night snacking's not so hard. We have booked in a dinner on Friday, though, haven't we? And that is going to be a blowout because that's the shutting of my favourite restaurant.

So we are eating like... Everything that's ever not been tried is getting tried. So we can just have a good week until Friday. Even The Rock has a cheat day. Absolutely. What is The Rock's cheat day? Have you ever seen his cheat day meals? No. Insane. It looks like he's just

walked into a St. Pierre's and he's just like everything. When he has sushi, he'll just like box it all up, box it all up. Wow. I'm going to get the album open of The Rock's Cheat Deals. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Well, the ever-given, the giant container ship that got stuck in the Suez Canal. What was that? A week ago, it was last weekend that it got freed.

Do you know that's still sitting there? And Egypt wants a billion dollars compensation and otherwise the ship is not moving. What? That's some Dr. Evil type demands right there. Yeah, so it's still, because I think it was sitting in a lake, like the Suez Canal goes through

and there's like a side. They joined up a series of lakes. And it's sitting there and it was initially sitting there so that they could inspect it so that they could check it was okay to move on. But yeah, apparently it's still there and it was initially sitting there so that they could inspect it so that they could check it was okay to move on. But yeah, apparently it's still there and Egypt wants a billion dollars. From who?

The owners. So I don't know if there's insurance for that or... How do you transfer a billion dollars? Do you just go on the app? Yeah, you're like one, two, three, four, five, six. How many zeros? How many? Because there's six zeros in a million.

You're like, can I do half a billion this time and then half a billion next pay? But they might cut payments. It might be a max 50,000. So you might have to do quite a few. Nine zeros. Nine zeros in a billion. Well, you remember the famous photos of the tiny little excavator

dwarfed by the giant container ship, one of the world's biggest container ships. Everyone was like, that's not going to do anything. Over the weekend, an interview has happened with the man that was driving that digger, 28-year-old Abdullah Abdul Gawad. Now, he said that he wasn't particularly happy with the memes that happened. Oh, what? But it wasn't against him, wasn't it?

I always thought that the memes were like the little digger that could. It was never derogatory towards the digger. And I never saw whoever was in that digger. Did you ever see a picture of him? I assumed it was multiple people. I thought it was like the diggers themselves were changing as well yeah same i was like yeah he said i was a little bit upset um but i was really motivated uh because i wanted the world to say he did it oh and he apparently worked and apparently hasn't got overtime as well hasn't been paid overtime and he does work like

for six days basically straight. Wow. But then, yeah, actually helped towards getting it unstuck. Where did he stay? I don't think there was like a hotel nearby on the Suez Canal. I reckon he just snoozed in the digger. Had a couple of naps, got to work. Maybe he boarded the boat.

Climbed the boat. Climbed the boat. Climbed up the boat. Slept on the... He probably just... Yeah. That's why I thought it was a multiple crew. It would just have been like around the clock. Clarence? Well, yeah, I'm sure he had help.

Right. Absolutely. Right. But he worked right through, basically. Wow. But what a great accomplishment. Yeah, I know. He shouldn't worry. You worry about memes there, mate. No what a great accomplishment. Yeah, I know. He shouldn't worry. You don't. You worry

about memes there, mate. No one was judging you. It was all about that big boat that got stuck in the silly spot. Yeah. That's all everybody cared about. But in saying that, it's all fun and games until you're a meme, though, isn't it? Yeah. Because what were some of the memes? It was all

like, my workload, and that was the boat, and it was like, the little little digger was like my want to get my workload done. Man, that was a sweet meme you just invented. Yeah, wow, cool. Get that one printed. Yeah, wow. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. From the ZM clickbait room, this is the top six.

Hello there. Welcome to the top six. Prince Philip passed away at the weekend. This is the Top Six. Hello there. Welcome to the Top Six. Prince Philip passed away at the weekend. That's the Queen's husband. I'm just reading here he's designed his own Land Rover to be his hearse. How cool is this? This is not the first time he's commissioned his own Land Rover. So you're a fan now, aren't you?

I'm a big fan now. He had one commissioned in 2005, a 130, which is a very long Land Rover. A gun bus, it was called. He's tall, isn't he? Yeah. He was a tall dude. He always looked tall. You have to fold the seats down.

Yeah, fold the back seats down and push them right in, and you'll be right. He's 183 centimetres. That's quite tall. Okay, for a dude who's that old, because you start shrinking again, right? How much do you shrink when you get older? I don't know. Does everything shrink? Oh, I don't know.

No, that starts dangling. Oh, right. That just starts hanging lower. Yeah, it looks bigger because it's actually just dropping. Yeah. Gravity. Pulling it down. Yeah, right.

Okay. But apart from his Land Rover he's designed, there's also been a whole lot of lists of his famous gaffes. Oh, and 99. So he was an old mate. Real old mate. You know, old mates say inappropriate things. So I'm not condoning that.

Yeah. But they're just from a different time, aren't they? He was born in the 20s. Yeah. That's a long time ago. He's seen some things. I mean, he's lived a very privilegeds. Yeah. That's a long time ago. He's seen some things. I mean, he's lived a very privileged life. Absolutely.

99, that's a good run. Yeah. Oh, really good. People, I saw some people at the weekend, oh, this is so, what a shock. He's 99. Have you seen him, mate? He looked terrible, and he's 99.

He's not dead for the last 10 years, to be honest. The minute you're over 80, it's not a shock anymore, right? Those memes where he was in the car after the last hospital trip. Oh, God, to be honest. The minute you're over 80, it's not a shock anymore, right? Those memes where he was in the car after the last hospital trip. Oh God, he looks shocking. So the top six Prince Philip gaffes that aren't racist. Because there's lots of them.

So I've wetted them out. Yeah, I think I saw a BuzzFeed list of like a hundred at the weekend. Whoopsie daisies. So number six on the list, when he saw the plan for the Duke and Duchess of York's house, this is Prince Andrew and Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas.

In 1988, he saw the plans for the house that was going to be built. He announced quite loudly, it looks like a tarts bedroom. Wow. Obviously not happy with how they had designed that house. Maybe a bit more of a traditionalist of British architecture. Number five on the list of the top six Prince Philip gaffes. At 1999, he went to a school in Cardiff, and that school had a special classroom for young deaf people.

Okay. And when him and the Queen were welcomed in 1999 to the school, the school steel band was playing. Steel drums, etc. And he said to the young deaf children, yeah, I'm not surprised. If you're near them it's no wonder you're deaf. Oh.

Wow. Oh dear. In 1992 is number four. In 1992, when on a rural trip to Australia, he was asked to hold and stroke a koala bear for a photo opportunity. And he said, oh, God, no, I might catch some ghastly disease. Okay.

Didn't want to touch. They are stank. We pay good money. We pay good money for that at Dreamworld, though, don't we? Yeah, we do. Oh, yeah, I've caught a quick koala. They stink. Then you've got to wash your hands. I thought they shampooed and conditioned the ones at Dreamworld, though, don't we? Yeah, we do. Oh, yeah. I've told him to quit quality. They stink. Then you've got to wash your hands.

I thought they shampooed and conditioned the ones at Dreamworld. Probably. Yeah, okay. Bit of well up his arm. Yeah. Get that fruity fructus in there. Get the fruit smell. Not the wheeze and the clap.

Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six Prince Philip gaffes. In 2012, so he was 91 years old. In 2012, he met a 25-year-old council worker called Hannah Jackson, who was wearing a dress that happened to have a zip running the length of its front from top to bottom. He was there in an official capacity. She was representing the council. It was a Jubilee visit to Bromley, Kent.

And he said to her, I would get arrested if I unzipped that. You sure would. Wow. 91. And number two on the list of the top six Prince Philip gaffes that aren't racist, by the way. Those have been weeded out. This was on his

90th birthday in 2011. Someone said, asked about his health, how he was feeling, what it felt like to be turning 90, and he said, the bits are beginning to drop right off. What? With reference to his bits.

The bits are beginning to fall off. He's a royal. He's not allowed to talk about Jean-Italia. I wouldn't have thought so. And this is amazing. This is, I'd never heard this one before.

This is by far and away my favourite Prince Philip Gaff now and at number one. In 2001, he met a 13-year-old Andrew Adams and he said to him,

what do you want to do when you leave school and grow up? And apparently, young Andrew Adams said to Prince Philip, I really want to go to space. And Prince Philip said, you're too fat to be an astronaut. Oh, no, Prince Philip.

He's not going to fit in the capsule. That was 20 years ago, so that 13-year-old will now be 33. I want to know what they're doing. They need to do a follow-up with Andrew Adams. Oprah, where are they now? Andrew Adams. I might have a little bit of a Google and see if I can get an answer. Come on.

Surely the news media need to follow that up now that Prince Philip's passed away. Far out. Wow. Imagine crushing a kid's dreams just like that. Just like that. Like that. Oh, that. Like that. Oh, that is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

Kourtney Kardashian has started a relationship with Travis Barker of Blink 182. How long's that been now? It's been a while. A few months. Six months? Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's all over the new season of the Kardashians. Right.

And if you don't know him, he's a drummer. He is covered neck, no, actually cheek down in tattoos, absolutely covered in them. He's just added a new one to the mix, a cursive Courtney on his heart, just above his nip. Petite nip as well. Quite a little tight areola that one. Has he got

petite nips like me? Really petite. Smaller than mine? Yeah. Here she is covering them. Oh no, mine are smaller than his. Really? Do you think mine's smaller than that, Vaughan? It's a nice tone. His kind of like

merges in. Yours is a very definitive nip. Thank you. I like that you know my nip. I know your nip. We've been working together 17 years. You know another man's nips. You know another man's nips. You need to forget another man's nips. No. So it's kind of just over all of his

other tattoos, which are much older. It's a, yeah, it's all, it's kind of just over all of his other tattoos, which are much older, but it's a bright new sharp Courtney, distinctly with a K, and then they've posted a photo and it's Courtney's hand over his nip, which I think is a little bit funny. And so, yeah, he's done that for life. Now, so I've just Googled. The rumours started at the start of this year, January 2021, but they reckon end of 2020 they started dating. Right.

So it's like four, five, six months. And he's got the name. I've been with my fiancé for 10 years. Oh my God, in two weeks time, 10 years. Was that just quite a shock to you? Yeah., my God, in two weeks' time. 10 years. Was that just quite a shock to you? Just like... Yeah. Oh, my God.

I was so young. And I wouldn't do it. Either? No. I would never get, like, Aaron. I would never get... Yeah, that would be... I heart Greg Grover from Nova.

That would be a better one. But then he's covered in tattoos, right? He's got his ex, that Shannon Moakley. He's got Shannon. Yeah, Travis Barker. Yeah, he's covered. Once you book, you don't just sort of get signatures and just move along. I mean, when you're covered with them, though,

what's another one to the mix, you know? I suppose so. That was one part of my life and this is another part of my life. Did he get his ex's name, like, covered over? I don't know. She just said that she came out and said, because I Googled it to see, it's nip. And one of the main.

What do you think, petite? Yeah, petite nip. Yeah. Lighter than I expected to. I expected a darker nip. That would be a fun game. Match these celebrities to their nip. Yeah. Yeah. Nip. That would be a fun game. Match these celebrities to their nip. Yeah.

Yeah. Nip match up. But she said, yeah, I've got his name tattooed on me and he's got my name tattooed on him. So that's Shana Mokwe's ex. And said, we did that. And she's like, I don't know if the Kardashians have tattoos. I don't follow any of them.

Right. Oh, yeah. Drunk to burn. Drunk to burn. Let's find millions of others doing it. Yeah, Courtney Kardashian's 115 million followers. Yeah, she's losing sleep over the fact you don't follow her. Well, people are saying this might not be his first Courtney tattoo

because he's also got another one that says, you're so cool with a heart and it looks like it's her handwriting. Right. She's written a note and he's got it on him as like, calm down. Right. Especially after five months. I know. So, okay, here's the question we want to ask this morning now.

Open up the phone lines 0800-DARLS-IT-M 9696. Do you have a partner tattoo? Don't be shy. And you're not in that relationship anymore. Yeah. And I want to know about romantic, not for like lots of people that relationship anymore. Yeah. And I want to know about romantic. Not for like, lots of people have friendship tattoos. Yeah.

I reckon specifically like whirlwind romance. Yeah. And how soon did you get it? Yes. Like this is what? Four or five or six months. Absolute max. And they've got each other's names.

Well, he's got her name on him. Yeah, I don't think she has yet. Her body's a temple. But his is an absolute trash can. So, and maybe you got a tattoo with your ex, your ex's name or whatever and you've had to cover it up.

Oh yeah. Like you've had to go to the tattoo artist and say, okay, how are you going to work around this name? Winona Forever.

Yeah, sure. Johnny Depp, Winona Forever. That's right. And you got it changed to Winona Forever. That's funny.

That's just, yeah. So 0800DARLS.NM, give us a call now. You can text us 9696. Do you have a tattoo with your ex-partner's name or something to do with your ex-partner? Do you still have it? How long did it take to get it? We want to know all the juicy goss.

Maybe we can beat, what, four or five or six months. Yeah, don't be embarrassed. Be brave. There is a new celebrity couple tattoo. Travis Barker got a Kourtney tattoo for, of course, Kourtney Kardashian. How long was it with Ariana Grande? Grande. Vente.

With Pete Davidson. It was pretty smart. It was, like, pretty quick. It was a couple of months. They got a gate. Like, it was a couple of months They ain't got a gate That was super quick People just fall hard Don't they? And so we want to know when you've got a tattoo

With the partner, the ex-partner now And what have you done with it? Have you covered it up? How soon did you get it? We'll take some calls. Georgia, what happened? Hi guys, morning Morning So this is your sister Yeah, she's going to kill me, but it's hilarious We'll take some calls. Georgia, what happened? Hi, guys. Morning. Morning. So this is your sister.

Yeah, she's going to kill me, but it's hilarious. Oh, well. So I met this guy, and they hit it off, and they got these matching tattoos pretty quickly in the right, maybe six, seven months. Okay. And he got the standard LO, and she got the standard VE on her hand So that when they hold hands It spells love

Get me a bucket So which one is she? Low or V? She's VE Okay What do you say it stands for? Victorian England Huge fan of Victorian I haven't covered it up And I'm like What do you say it stands for? Victoria in England. Huge fan of Victoria.

I've been covered it up and I'm like, are you going to do something about that? Because that's awkward. So how long have they been split up for now? Oh, a good year and a bit now. Do you know what he did with his half? I do know and it's terrible. So his sister was dropping her son off at school,

and his new girlfriend, her children also go to that school. And they were waiting and dropping them off, and then she saw that the new girlfriend has the VE on her back. No! No! How did he sell that? This is a tattoo I got with somebody else, but now that I've got it, it just kind of seems right.

You get it too. It's just going to be this string of women with VE tattoos on their hand. Wow. Well, at least it's not half of his name or something. Oh, my God. So what's your sister done with hers? Nothing? Not yet, but she is a tattoo artist,

so she's probably got something in the mix. Yeah. But it's on the hand. It's a bit hard to do something big. What else could she smell with the V-E? Oven. Oven, yeah. Vent.

Vent diagram. Vent diagram. I'm a huge fan of vent diagrams. Yeah, same. Vent, yeah. Vent. Vent, yeah. Yeah. Vent. Yeah. Vet. Vent. Yeah. Vet.

Vehicle. Are we just doing one of those word things in the back of the newspaper now or a magazine? Georgia, thank you for sharing. Tash, you had a tattoo of your ex. Yes, my husband. I had his full name on my back. On your back. If you don't mind me asking, what was his name?

No, I can't tell the name. That's fine. That's fine. Was it long? Was it short? Was it? About seven letters. Oh, okay.

Wow. It was born, wasn't it? But do you mean full name as in like Hayley James Browell or just first name? No, no, no, no, no, just the first name Oh, okay Yeah, go on Yeah, so I got it done, he had it on his chest, my full name And I got it on my back together

And yeah, we broke up like five years ago now And the first thing I did was got drunk on my 30th, went to a tattoo artist, and I said, can you take that off? Take it off or cover it up? Famously not how tattoos work. Yeah. So what do you have now covering his name? A beautiful, beautiful rose and butterfly.

Oh, lovely. And has he covered yours up? Do you know? No. No, I don't think so. Oh, wow. Maybe he's covered yours up? Do you know? No. No, I don't think so. Oh, wow. Maybe he's just like, just in case. Just in case.

Or maybe he finds someone with the same name. I don't know. We've got really limited choice. He's on Tinder, only looking for Tash's. I'm deeply in love with you, but you're not a Tash. Hey, Tash, thanks for your call. Paul, do you have the name of your ex on you? No, no, my ex has the name of me on her.

Oh, no. On her wrist. Okay. Yeah. All right. And so she's got Paul on her wrist, and does she still have it? Yes, she still does. Yeah, yeah.

She still has it. How do you know that? Do you see around and you're like, God, you've still got that tattoo? Well, she's actually engaged to my brother now. What? Oh, my God. I bet your brother loves that. Oh, no.

He makes her wear a watch. She is engaged to your brother. How did that happen? Who let you? Oh, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Are you and your brother close?

Well, we've been close now, so that's all right. Well, I take it five years ago, things were a little rocky then, Paul. Yeah. Oh, well, that wasn't on my part. It was just, yeah. I guess she can just put a Paul and then your brother's name underneath. Yeah, do you have any more? She might as well get them all.

Yeah. Yeah, that's why she threw it. To an assailant. To an assailant. Thanks for your call, Paul. Some text messages. Wow, this is great. Oh, I know.

It makes me cringe. A couple of years in, we got a matching quote. Four years later, it turns out he was a massive cheater, got it covered with the most beautiful lion face. Okay. I tell you what, Barley's got a lot to answer for. Matched with a guy on Tinder in Barley, went out drinking all night.

The next day, we got matching tattoos. But it wasn't like their name. It was just a full moon. Oh, yep. But we both got them, so they matched. Somebody else said, in Barley, my ex-partner got a tattoo for me after two weeks. Oh, wow. When he was in Bali.

So we got together. He went to Bali. And then I don't know if she went too. But it was Bali. My husband and I have a partner tattoo. We got it done in Bali on our honeymoon. Nothing crazy. But I did want to mention that after two months of dating, he got my name tattooed on his forearm.

Oh, wow. That's early. They're hanging in there, though. They're hanging in there. Yeah. I have a matching best friend tattoo with a friend of 10 years. It took 20 minutes. It was a heart with an infinity knot.

We're not friends anymore because everything was always my fault and she couldn't take responsibility for her actions Oh no Oh no But then do you get that covered up? Or changed? Or do you just go like infinity And then put like question mark next to it?

Or like Not forever Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The podcast ZM ZM FM. Fletchbourne and Megan's Community Notices. Hello and welcome to Community Notices,

a segment of the show where we have a look at what's happening around New Zealand according to local Facebook pages. Let's pop down. Well, I was going to say, if you see anything, pop up on your local Facebook page, screenshot it, send it into the inbox, FVMZM. Yeah, we get people saying, are you still doing community notices? Oh, heck yeah.

Oh, yeah, mate. Oh, heck yeah. We do it when we get enough. Oh, heck yeah. Let's go to Tamuka, the Tamuka community group on Facebook page. Names have been removed. And the post reads,

my beautiful children are standing outside, insert street here, selling lemonade. Come and get yourself some lemonade and support these weird girls. Now there's a picture there of two girls with a homemade sign saying $1 lemonade. First comment.

I saw her outside the other day pulling fingers at the cars going past. Well, maybe they weren't stopping for lemonade. That's fair enough. Pulled the fingers at me and then realised it was me. So obviously they know these girls. Pulled the fingers at me but then realised it was me and then quickly changed from ripping the fingers to a wave.

Laugh face. And then mum replies, absolutely no way my girl would have done that. She never pulls the fingers. She's an angel. I love being around when a parent has a reckoning about their kids. They go to the school meeting and they're like, okay, so I don't know what Timmy comes home and says,

but he's been starting fires. My angel would never do that. Yeah, your angel is a little shit. To the Rollison community page, Lauren's got a bit of a PSA. Okay. While shopping at the local supermarket, I noticed a few people not wearing shoes inside the store.

Bare feet! She writes in capitals with many exclamations. I think this is quick disrespectful, meaning quite, but we all make mistakes, don't we? I think this is quite disrespectful and disgusting

as this is where we get our food from. I once saw a teenage boy itch his foot and then grab a head of lettuce. Oh. Come on. A teenage boy was not grabbing a head of lettuce. Yeah. And if he only itched his foot

and then grabbed his head of lettuce, he's going to go home, he's going to strip the outside layers of it. You know when you buy a head of lettuce, the outside bits are never good. No, no, no. They often fall off in the trolley. Oh, they're limp and lifeless.

Yeah. Absolutely not. Flappy, yeah. Flappy on the end. Oh, yeah. Flappy, limp, and lifeless. I don't have a lot of time for iceberg, to be honest. Oh, I'm a big iceberg guy,

but you've got to get to the heart. Nutritionally, absolutely. Oh, there's nothing in it. Absolutely not. It's just something to stop mayonnaise making the bun too soggy. Exactly. That's right. I'm not making the bun too soggy. Exactly. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. On goes Lauren. I'm not sure if these people can't afford shoes or they just have no respect for themselves or anybody else. Wow. Please, Rolliston. Justin? No one wants your dirty feet and unclipped toenails in their pasta.

Wait, wait. How do we get our feet in the pasta? Please wear shoes. Happy Easter, Lauren. Wow. Okay. Thanks, Lauren. Wow. Okay, thanks, Lauren. Andrew writes on it, well, from now on,

I will only go barefoot to the supermarket regardless of the weather. And then there's a bit of community backlash. This one from the Qme page. Oh, okay. Yeah. Mary writes, hey guys, we've had this dog found.

It's here at Animates Westgate. It doesn't seem to have a microchip. It's a friendly male puppy and it was roaming around nearby. If you or anyone knows this dog, please come and get it. He was also tangled up in some red Heidi Klum underpants. Maybe the owners. Imagine you've lost your dog and your nice Heidi Klum. Yeah, red as well.

Yeah, racy red. It doesn't say if they were red. I'm imagining a bit of a frilly G-string situation. Yeah, yeah. I'm imagining a Heidi Klum granny panty in red. I think nothing to the imagination. If it said like farmer's undies in beige, then where does your mind go?

It goes to the granny panty. If they did say farmer's undies in beige, I wouldn't go get the dog. to the granny panty If they did say Farmer's Undies in beige I wouldn't go get the dog I'd be like Well not mine Not my dog I don't know I don't know where he's got

These knickers from He's a pervert He's got to go Let's hunt some good news This is the online garage sale Waipukaro Waipawa page Lisa Liza

Liza writes Hey guys I'm looking for an attractive Maori male that was at Waipukareo Countdown at around 4 to 4.15. He waved at me and I want to know who he is. He works for Summit Steel and Wire. Oh wow, she named it.

Very specific. I think he was on the truck. Right. He was in some way to do with the truck. So Lysa's taken to the local page there because she got a wave from an attractive young fella. And she thinks love might be in there. Well, no, I don't know. I can't go and check the link because it's a private group. But if anybody on that page has any follow up.

This is a modern day love story. That could be the one. I know. And he was just there on the Summit Steel and Wire truck. Imagine finding your one true love on a Summit Steel and Wire truck. Imagine finding your one true love on a Summit Steel and Wire truck. Yeah. The White Book at our countdown. It'd be great if you need some

reinforcing for your concrete wall. Or if you're laying a pad. Absolutely great to know someone who works for Summit Steel and Wire. Yeah. And they might have been on the truck. And finally from the Kaikoui Community Notice Board, Lashay writes, to anyone who lives anywhere near Guy Road and owns a cat,

if your cat comes home with a whole uncooked chicken, can you please do something about it? It's been roaming for food. Maybe feed it more or keep it at home. That chicken was dinner for me and my three kids. Some cat managed to get into a switched-on crock pot and dragged the whole chicken out the cat flap. And I put up photos of, look, the corrupted crock pot

and then the greasy mess out the cat door. Okay, you have to applaud that. You can't be mad at that. I would be like, it's your chicken. That's your chicken. You worked so hard to get that chicken. Yeah. But it's for her and her three kids,

not some pesky cat that's not getting fed enough at home. Comes in and robs the family of their chicken. Even if you did feed your cat enough at home, it's not going to stop it going in. No. It would have to back out the cat door, right? I'm just imagining the logistics of getting a chicken

through the cat door. No, or push it through the cat door first. And then follow through. Then follow through. I think it would be easier to drag a chicken out the cat door. Also lucky the chicken just didn't, depending on how long it had been in that crock pot, start falling to bits.

They must have got it quite early on. They must have got it early in the day. Very early in the day. Those are today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page, send it to ours, FBMZM on Facebook. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan,

the podcast. Now, people that like to correct grammar, spelling mistakes, etc. A study has found that those people tend to have less agreeable personalities.

Hmm. Hmm. Now, Vaughan Smith, as someone who will always correct grammar. In fact, you did something. You did a typo yesterday in a group chat and I let it go. What was it? Abs?

Lately when I type and on my phone, it auto-corrects to abs. Now, abs isn't a word I ever use in a conversation, so I don't know why my phone is so shit. You never shut up about your abs. I think it was a we're and it was a we're. My phone's a shocker for that too. Well, is it? A we're and a we are.

Yeah, right. We're on our way. Yeah. Do you know somebody's pointed out that Queen Street in Auckland, which is Queen Street, you'd say, I'll meet you on Queen Street. The new pavers that they've put in have the street name on them and somebody's written Queen's Street

they're going to have to dig that up or fill in the S yeah fill in the S and send it over and I'm imagining it has an apostrophe is it Queen's it was in today's paper which is in the bin

it's in sideswipe at the bin. This is the thing. It's in sideswipe at the back. There, right there. Does it have an apostrophe? Hard to see. Because if it doesn't, it's sort of wrong on two levels. Yeah, I know because it's not the Queen's. Because if it was Queen's Street, meaning the street of the Queen,

it would be Queen apostrophe S. Multiple Queens. Yeah. Yeah, that means queens, which could be, but that's more Karangahape Road. That's queens. That's going to do my head in. That's going to absolutely do my head in. Now, maybe I've got a

descriable personality. Yeah, I'm slightly like that. My favourite is when people are like, you're welcome, while you are in a sort of a snarky way, and you're like, no, you are welcome. So, the results of the study found that people that like to correct people's grammar and spelling mistakes,

the results of the study showed that extroverts, extroverted people were more likely to ignore mistakes in like messages or emails than introverts. Don't know when to shut up. Whereas introverts are more likely to notice the errors and then pass a judgment on the person. Whether or not they point it out or not, they're going to judge you.

I don't bother correcting as much as I did. I just let it slide, but that's more like it. But you'll still judge them. You'll be like, ooh. It's like dating apps. I've got a friend that's like, if you use the wrong where you're there or whatever, or you can't spell, you're out.

Oh, really? Like, I don't even think you're getting a date. There's a hierarchy. There's a real, yeah. Wow. The there, the there is the biggest one. I reckon you're is the one that constantly, yeah. Like, if I ever make a typo and I see it,

I'm always quick to be like. Mortified. The asterisk. I think I did it to you. I was in a group chat the other day. I was like and I see it, I'm always quick to be like. Mortified. The asterisk. I think I did it to you. I was in a group chat the other day. I was like, I can spell, I can spell, I promise. It was, yeah. It was embarrassing.

It was embarrassing. I judged you. I left that chat and was like, he dumb. That guy sucks. He dumb. Dummy. Dummy. Sucksness.

Flesh, fawn and Megan. The podcast. ZM. 50% of marriages end in divorce. I just want to remind you that. 50% of marriages end in divorce I just want to remind you that 50% of marriages Is that why you're holding off? Yeah

Well because Vaughn's is already going so well So that would mean that mine would be going I'd probably get divorced You know what I mean? Yeah right If we're talking about in this room Because that's how stats work That's how stats work

Yeah Only if there's two people in the room One of you has to get divorced It's not What was it? Because remember there was a statistician That's how stats work, yeah. That's how stats work. Yeah. Only if there's two people in the room, one of you has to get divorced. It's not, oh, what was it? Because remember there was a statistician that came out and explained it. It's not literally if you've got two couples in a room, chances are it was 50-50. It was like, it had got progressively worse. Right.

And it was heading towards 50-50. But if you were older, then, you know. Because young people were just like, nah, I'm bored. Yeah, and then it went down again because people just weren't getting married. Yeah, right. So they weren't getting divorced. Well, a study has revealed the top jobs that are more likely to get divorced. Are these all jobs that, like, take you away from home for quite a bit?

Yeah, high stress, have a larger impact on you and turn you into an absolute monster. You're always at the office, Gavin. Absolutely. So I'll start at number five on the list. Do those stocks love you more than me and the children? My name's Gavin. I'm hardly having an affair.

I'm not going to have anything. I'm called Gavin. Yeah, I don't think Gavin's sleeping around. I sound more like a medicine than a man. Gavin's gone. Gavin's gone. Number five on the list, nurses. Really?

Yeah. Okay. I would imagine. They're 47% more likely to get divorced. Isn't that crazy? Not a surprise. High levels of divorce among marriages with nurses. Do you think it's because

you get home and you've been sponge-bathing old men all day that you're just like, yes, you're least likely to put up. You reek of old balls. I was thinking,

you get home from caring for people, you need to be cared for. Yes. You can't come home to another wanty, little needy, little bitch of a man.

Absolutely. Who's like, I need pooped my pants too. Do I have to poo myself to get your attention? Stop being pathetic, Gavin! So, reasons for nurses, long hours, working

weekends, night shifts, also holidays, no time off there. They do amazing jobs. Also low pay, that's not sexy, is it? Low pay. Or not after you're putting your heart and your soul into it. Not after you smell like balls. Yeah, so all that puts a real strain. So nurses, you're getting

divorced. Four, number four on the list, telemarketers and telephone operators, 49.7% more likely. Bring stress and upset from a hard day at work, handling high volumes of telephone calls. When you just put up with everybody, it's like if you worked in a call centre and you're just dealing with people and they're just all day angry at you. So they come home in a bad mood, leading to issues with intimacy.

When you've been dealing with every like, why am I saying it's not working? You're not going to want to go home and get your moves on. So there you go. That's telemarketers, telephone operators. Number three, flight attendants. Oh, okay. Are they gallivanting around the world? Well, they used to.

All sorts of. Dragging home all that COVID. Hotel liaisons. Yep, just take some away from home. You know, having babies, if that becomes a thing, it's not really that easy. Lots of increased risk of infidelities in flight attendants. You little...

There you go. Number two, bartenders, late nights, infidelities. Booze, yeah. High risk, 52.7% more likely. Wow. Oh, that's a bit rude. I'm not going to stand by this, but this research says also there's an association

with bartenders and lack of education, which I do not agree with. Who needs NCEA when you can mix a mojito? Absolutely. That's probably the last thing you feel like getting home. You get home, right, and your partner's like, oh, can you whip me up an old-fashioned? And they're like, not now, Gavin.

Number one on the list. Oh, Gavin. Number one on the list of top five jobs most likely to get divorced. Gaming managers and gaming service workers, a.k.a. casino workers. Oh, I was going to say gaming, right. 52.9% more likely. Working casinos likely to lead to things like depression,

alcohol abuse, smoking the Cs. Wow. All of which could play a significant role in your divorce rate. Yeah, and if you beat them in a game of cards, they just accuse you of cheating full stop and then they run back to security for you. Yeah, like you know all the tricks. ZM's, they just accuse you of cheating full stop, and then they run back to security. Yeah, like, you know all the tricks. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

It was a phone call to Mum at the weekend. The usual phone call. How often would you call Patsy? Every day. Every day. I was going to say you'd be in every day. I'm like once a week. Yeah, I've been a little bit slack recently because of, you know,

sleeping in the afternoons. Oh, yeah, right. Okay. But, you know, I talk to my parents all the time. Right. So you run through the usual, the weather. We just like, we'll just ring and be like, what are you doing? What are you doing?

Oh, yeah, I'm doing this. Oh, no, Bev would be way too busy to do that every day. Oh, really? She's got the gardening and things to do. Oh, I'm so busy. Who makes the call more often? It's 50-50. 50-50.

Oh, I always call. Oh, that's nice. You're a good son. I'm always the one that calls. Because they'll try to call you and you'll be up to something. So you've got to call when it suits you. No, but it's there or I just know that if I call just before dinner in the news, they'll be there.

Oh, but don't call then. They just want to sit down to dinner in the news. No, because if you call during dinner in the news, they don't have time to talk because the dinner and the news is on. How far before the news are you calling? Oh, like quarter to two. Right. Yeah.

Right, so they can get you done and dusted out of the way before the news. Yeah, then it's quick and you're on. I'm not every day calling mum just for a chin wag. We talk for like, oh, look, and I'll be like, call her on the phone for an hour. Well, it was yesterday after we got the usual, the cats, the weather, the, you know, the standard chat that mum dropped in. And I don was yesterday after we got the usual, the cats, the weather, the standard chat, that mum dropped in, and I don't know how

she brought this in, but she said oh, did you know someone in the family was done for regicide? And I was like, what? I think she gets those family tree DNA updates. Oh, and there's a new, there's a possible new

link in your, I get those from An. Updates. Oh, and there's a new, there's a possible new link in your, I get those from Ancestry.com. Yeah, and then I was like, what is that? That doesn't sound good. And it was in like the 1600s. And it's redesigned as when someone kills the king. What king did they kill? I don't know.

There was a lot of kings back in the day. There was a lot of kings. There wasn't just one. Yeah, there wasn't just one. And so I was like, oh, okay. And that's what made me log on after that to Ancestry.com. Because ages ago, we did a thing with them on air. Yeah, we did a spit test.

You spit in the tube, you send it away. You'd know this if your packaging had turned up. If mine arrived. I've just gone back on the website to remind myself to make a complaint that it hasn't arrived. Right. And so I logged in and it's been, because we did that, what, six years ago? Yep. And it's actually quite

amazing how much your profile changes the more that DNA testing gets better and the more people that do it. And over the course of like six years, it's changed a bit and then I logged in and this is, and you'll know this if you follow me over the weekend, I was quite jazzed about this. I am 3%

Swedish. I know. That's margin me over the weekend. I was quite jazzed about this. I am 3% Swedish. I know. That's margin of error stuff though, right? Wow. 3% Swedish. Could that be some Viking roots? Because the Vikings have gone over to Great Britain, to the UK. So I'm mostly Scottish, apparently.

Mostly English, Welsh, Ireland, and then Swedish. 3%! See, this is why then Swedish. Three percent. See, this is why I wanted to do it, because I'm very pale, look very Pākehā, but my family's Māori. My mum's Māori, my nana's Māori. Yeah, and you're very white. So I wanted to find out where in the line we'd been tainted by some white men who would

come in and tainted by the colonial Obviously my Pakeha side comes from my dad and he'd be he's a mix of Scottish and French and all that yawn yawn but on my mum's side everyone looks Māori and then it's just like hi I'm Hayley

Don't yawn yawn the French some of us would like a little bit of non-Irish. I've lost my profile. I can't log back into it. I think I was so white. They were like, yuck. And they deleted my profile. So white.

They were like, dude, it's so boring. They threw his tube in the bin. They're like, scrap his profile. Has your wife done one? Yeah, hers is amazing. Yeah, right. Hers is everything. She's got Nepalese, Indian.

Yeah. She's related max. Hers is everything. She's got Nepalese, Indian. Yeah. She's related to Sherpa Tensing. I thought your wife was Maori. Everybody does. Yeah. Yeah, when she was pregnant, people would come up and start speaking te reo to her. And she was just like, oh, no, no, no, no.

Yeah, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. It was actually amazing. So I put up my ethnicity estimate and it breaks down all the things with the Swedish 3 percent I got so many messages like people sharing theirs and just talking about you know their you know being similar or whatever it was amazing and also the stories about people that like there was one person who sent in a message a podcast listener in Australia her boyfriend found out that um her mum his mum had had an affair

and that his dad wasn't his dad. Oh, no. And that's why he looks way different than, like, his brothers and sisters. Oh, no. Can you believe that? Oh, my gosh. And this person is saying the story that, yeah, they just had to confront, like, the mum and she's like, yep.

So how did they work that out? Did the siblings do the test as well? And then there was the big no-no matchup. Because if other members of the family have done the DNA test, it would show it. It would link you up to another family tree. They'd be like, well, there's no way that can be your dad because these are your other siblings.

Yeah. So I was just like, I was wondering this morning, could we take some calls on your DNA surprises? You might not have even done the ancestry or one of these tests online, but you might have just found out that maybe your mum or your dad wasn't really your mum or your dad. Yeah, or your great-great-grandfather killed a king. Because I got stories like this at the weekend.

I was like, that's insane. It's like Jeremy Kyle. It's like an episode of Jeremy Kyle. I love that. And people get, especially white people, get so fizzed when they're like, I'm a little bit Namibian. And you're like.

I mean, I'm. Imagine that. Yeah, wow. Wasn't that just you just moments ago? No, no. Me trying to prove how Maori I am. Yeah. But they're like, I'm 1% Zimbabwean.

I don't know. Is there anybody listening now that's had like, has there been a family DNA surprise Where you've learnt That all along Grandpa wasn't really grandpa He was Hitler

I don't know If you're listening I don't know if there's going to be That kind of DNA surprise Do you look great with a little moustache A little bit Do you only grow a moustache right there The rest just won't grow

Do you only have one ball But maybe it wasn't a DNA testache right there the rest just won't grow do you only have one ball but maybe it wasn't a DNA test I don't know maybe we won't find anyone but it's very Jerry no because Jeremy Kyle

someone messaged me saying is this an advertorial it's not an advertorial this is just how jazz people get about DNA tests I honestly couldn't believe how jazz people and people were like

where did you find this out yeah like it was crazy well I Fletch am 3% Swedish, and I learned this at the weekend from my Ancestry.com profile. Again, this is unpaid for Ancestry.com.

People have asked if we're on the take. I bloody wish. Oh, absolutely not. Unpaid? I've paid, and I don't even have my kit. I've made a donation. If anything, it's an ad for how useless they are at sending out their testing kits.

But, yeah, to find out that I'm 3% Swedish. Wow. How exotic. Ikea. Swedish meatballs. Yep. Volvo. Yeah.

What else is Swedish? ABBA. The chef of the Muppets. The chef of the Muppets. What a great 3%. What a beautiful lineage. I'm also 7% Irish. I could be related to Ronan Keating on Bono.

Oh, you could be. Or Saoirse Ronan. Yeah. The Swedish have also got one of my favourite flags. It is. It's a beautiful flag. The yellow cross on the blue background. There's something about that. That golden cross. It's simple, but it's just eye-catching, isn't it? It looks great on a beach volleyball uniform

too at the Olympics. Okay, you pervo. Guys, hey, I didn't say what gender. Everyone's eyes are on the Swedish volleyballers. You're still a perv, male or female. It's still pervy. Yeah, okay. So we want to know your DNA surprises. Whether or not you've done an Ancestry test or there was

just a family secret that came out and whoa, we are hearing some juicy stories. Oh no. You don't want to hear those ones where you realise you've married your brother, though. Yeah, that's, yeah. But then if you were separated at birth and you didn't know, that's not your fault, Hayley. Exactly, but isn't it...

I'm sorry. On the defensive, pretty hot. You just seem to come in there from a personal angle, but no. Isn't that why they try to encourage adoption to be a bit more open these days? No surprises? No surprises. So that if your mother put you up for adoption and then went on to have another child,

that you don't end up sleeping with that child. Yeah, okay. Because breeding issues could occur. That's a text we're getting lots of. People back in the day of the old unwed person gets pregnant, hide them for nine months. Yeah, stick them in a camp. The baby gets born, adopted out straight away and then that person just

goes back to life, not really explaining where they've been for nine months. And lots of people are getting reunited with siblings and stuff they didn't even know they had. And all because of ancestry and stuff. Yeah. Testing and stuff. Amon, good morning. Hello. You had a cousin Amon, good morning. Hello. Good.

Now, you had a cousin that had a DNA surprise. Very, very big surprise. So I'm Irish, and she's American, and she decided she wanted to do her family three, and she came over, and she had done back five or six generations. And the biggest surprise was she found out that her sister, in italics, was actually her mother. So had the sister had her as like a teen pregnancy so that the parents then took on the role as parents so the sister could write. Catholic background. Yeah, right.

Oh, wow. And then so she, what was that, what happened when she found out she was her mum? Oh, it was like scandal. Yeah. Yeah.

Wow. Yeah, no, because it had to be hidden back in like early 50s or whatever. She'd be in her 80s now. Wow. Yeah, when it was hidden, it was like if that had come out, the whole family would have been like ousted.

Yes. Yeah. Crazy, isn't it? It used to be that scandalous in Ireland. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Amazing. Eamon, thanks for your call. Some text messages.

Someone said, a friend of mine did blood tests at a biomedical lab at uni for a uni assignment. Was talking to her parents about what she'd learnt about it and they slipped up by telling her their blood types. And she was like, hmm, well that doesn't work out because your blood types aren't conducive to what type of blood type I am. That's how she found out she was adopted. And they hadn't even told her by the time she was at uni.

No, they hadn't even told her by the time she was at uni. No, I had never told her. I feel like people, that's quite an old-fashioned thing now, eh, is to not tell the child that they're adopted. It's a lot more sort of encouraged to be open about the process. That's, oh my gosh. Somebody said, my mum and her sister looked nothing alike but grew up as sisters. This was pre-ancestry.com and DNA test. My nana's last words were, I had an affair during the war.

You're not 100% sisters. So they were like half sisters. They had different dads. But you had an affair. You were away for a long time. Yeah, close enough. You know who was coming back from Egypt? Yeah.

It was a hell of a frontier for the war. Yeah, they might not have even come back at all. No, not. They want to pass up a hot wartime booty call. Oh, yeah. How would they have done that? Morse code booty calls? Yeah, yeah.

Back in the day, maybe a booty call letter. Oh, yeah. To... Sup? DNA surprises. My mum's been using Ancestry.com to trace her father's biological father. Found him, but in the course of that research, discovered not one but four illegitimate children in the family.

She has a half-brother and three nephews and nieces that no one ever knew about. Because that's the thing. If your dad did have an affair and get someone pregnant, and then even if you didn't know about that and that kid went on, you'd find that eventually on an answer through website, wouldn't you? Yeah. If they did a test or...

Yeah. That's crazy. That's why they say, I mean, it's again, not a paid endorsement, but that's why they say the more people that do this, the richer the knowledge. Yeah. Somebody said, I tan very well. See, same. And I look at this thing and I'm like, how?

I should burn to a crisp. I tan very well, but I come from a very white family. Did the DNA test. It turns out three generations ago, I've got a Maori ancestor. Oh, wow. But no one knew and no one really talked about it. But it's that and all I thought was I was the one that got the lucky tan. Yeah, the tan.

But we found out so much more about it. I have my DNA found out and I have a majority, six ethnicities, including 20% Maori. I found my biological dad. I've got three sisters and a brother. They're all born to the same mum, but I'm smack in the middle with a different mum, so whoopsie-daisy, dad was naughty. And I

thought it would be awkward, but they're awesome. I've met them now and... Oh, that's so cool. Yeah. I wouldn't have known. Somebody said, my mum did this test and then got a notification that she had a close personal contact, a close family contact that had also DNA'd and their DNA was really similar. Mum thought this must be a mistake. Met this woman, looked exactly the same as her, and it turns out it was a sister she didn't know she had. Oh, my gosh.

And then all of a sudden, damn it, you've got to buy them an extra Christmas gift. Yeah. I know. Somebody said, I did this test. Never really sure of what nationalities I made up. Maldi, Welsh, Danish, Scottish. And the most exciting was a Native American Iroquois of the Iroquois. Oh, okay.

That's also the helicopter. So don't get confused there. Your great-grandfather wasn't a helicopter. No. Today's fact of the day is about some teens, some young teens. Yeah. Who had a bit of cheek and it paid dividends. Okay.

This was a Danish youth activation group and it called the Rolling Gallery. Okay. And in 1991, they wrote a letter to the president of the Soviet Union, Mikhail Gorbachev. He had the birthmark on his head. He did. I remember that from the news. He was the one that got really boozed at the White House. Oh, did he?

Maybe he got ripped. He loved his vodka. Right. And they said, can we please have a submarine? Right. As a little bit of we please have a submarine? Right. As a little bit of a symbol of peace and the changing tides between the East and the West because we want to turn it into a cultural site and a tourist attraction. Right.

And it'd be really great if we could have a submarine, please and thank you. But they never expected anything to come of it. I think they just wanted a bit of publicity at the time. Right. And then apparently they got a letter back from Mikhail Gorbachev saying, great, great idea. And in 1994

an S359 submarine arrived in Kolding, Denmark and they were like, that's yours now. The submarine was a Whiskey V type. It was 76 metres long, 6.3 meters wide, 11 meters high, and weighed 1,080 ton. And it got turned into, because then they were kind of like,

oh, now what do we do with the submarine? I'm just having a look at that submarine. It's huge. Yeah, the S359. So there was a, when it arrived, it was like, okay, this is pretty cool. But then some residents and citizens were like, I'm not a huge fan of parking it in there. Maybe we can find somewhere else for it because it's kind of a symbol of war.

And we've kind of been living right next to these guys for ages. So there was a press coverage. There was a debate. There was like, can we even afford this? And then in 1997, it was donated to another area. And they were like, let's get this done. And it became a tourist attraction. Okay.

And you could go on. You could look around. It had stories and bits and pieces about the culture at the time and the conflict that had been in the area for ages. And then in 2011, they were like, we're finished with this, and it was cut up for scrap metal. It was towed to Friedrichschwan and scrapped. And scrapped.

Yeah. God, I'm grateful. Yeah. A little bit. So this just proves, you know, if you are, you can't get it if you don't ask, right? Yeah, exactly. If you want something, what's the worst that can happen?

They can say no, and that is not what Mikhail Gorbachev did, because today's fact of the day was in 1991, some teenagers asked for a submarine, and in 1994, the Soviet Union delivered. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. A woman online has sparked a bit of a debate that's got us talking. She admitted that without her usual full face of makeup, and she's in the UK. I imagine it is a very usual full face of makeup, and she's in the UK.

I imagine it is a very thick full face of makeup. I bloody love a little cosmetic. Anyway, so she was saying without a full face of makeup, she looks like unrecognisable. And she said it sort of sparked this debate really about whether or not heavy cosmetics is a form of catfishing because it's not actually your... Your face.

In this debate as well, she said basically the friend group, their boyfriends don't know what their face looks like. Yeah, many of her friends have boyfriends who've never seen them without makeup. So they would go to bed, if they stayed over, they would go to bed with a face of makeup on. Gross. What about the pillows?

What's your face? Yeah, what about the pillows? My God, there's no way anybody would be caking makeup on my Sheridans. Yeah, so a lot of people are coming in and saying it shouldn't be considered a form of catfishing because it's not as deceptive as like, you know, using a filter or photoshopping your photographs. Right. But other people thought, you know, if people are doing it like they put their lips really big and they've got false eyelashes and all this, they're saying it is. It's you're totally presenting a different face.

I can't imagine this. I mean, maybe some people take a while before they show a bare face. But I'm all about it. You guys look at my bare face every day. How long did it take you to show your fiancé your bare face? The next morning. The bare face, yeah.

Yeah, like immediately. But I've never been a super self-conscious, no-makeup person. When I was a teenager, I wore a lot of makeup and I probably wouldn't leave the house without it. But now I don't wear foundation, wear a bit of mascara during the day. Yeah. I'd like to see you one morning. Don't tell us when you're going to do it,

but turn up to work with the goth makeup you used to wear when you were a teenager. Yeah, okay. Don't tell us you're going to do it. Because I arrive after you guys. Fletch will be like waiting for me to arrive okay. Don't tell us you're going to do it. Oh, because I arrive after you guys. Fletch will be like waiting for me to arrive. I'll walk in because you're always like, good morning. I'll be like, go! Whoa!

What a surprise. That'd be an absolute treat. I didn't see Aaron's real face until a year in because he's got a big beard. Oh yeah, okay. And so I'd never, I had no idea the shape of his face. What did the chin, Did he have a little bum chin? Did he have a little Kurt? A little bit.

Like he shaved it for a job. Okay. And when I saw it I was like, I don't like it. Did he look younger? So much younger and just like Aaron's quite like a very big

manly, gruff man. And he is a little soft. A little wavy face. So we ran a poll on our Instagram. Is makeup catfishing? Is a full face makeup catfishing? So 27% of people said yes, whereas 73% were like nah. Not at all.

Nah, nah. We asked also when did your partner first see you without makeup? Somebody said three months into a relationship and he just saw me without makeup this weekend, just gone. That's a long time. It gets longer. About two years after we first met, he saw me without makeup. Who can be bothered?

Also, I always feel like a number of months in you kind of solidified that like oh we're doing this, we're in a relationship, I like you for reasons beyond physical. Mascara isn't the maker or the breaker. Yeah. On our third date we went mountain biking and he saw me without it because I wasn't putting on makeup to sweat it

off. I used to get up before he woke up to put makeup on. Now he'd be lucky if I ever wore makeup around the house. About one month in and he's the first partner I've ever had that I felt comfortable enough to not wear any makeup. Oh wow, okay.

I don't know if, maybe it's just because I've always sort of been like this, but I don't think partners care as much as you think they do. You know what I mean? Yeah. Also, I only recently learned, somebody gave this sage advice.

You look better without makeup. You look nicer without makeup or like saying that they're beautiful, but they don't need makeup. You don't say that once they put makeup on. You say that when they don't have makeup on. Right. Because if you're saying it when they're saying when the makeup is already on, it could be interpreted as you think they've done a junk job

of putting on makeup. Yeah. To be safe, I just wouldn't say anything of the sort. Yeah. If someone said to me, you look better with makeup on, I'd be like, I spend 90% of my life looking like this. Yeah. With no makeup.

But you can err on the side of you a little bit without makeup, but say it to them when they just like wake up and like their breath is stanky and their hair's all like, yeah. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Get your Warrant of Fitness. That is the advice. Get your car's Warrant of Fitness this month

because Warrant of Fitness providers, testers are about to be slammed. Now, you'll remember that over COVID lockdown, there was a... Last year. Yeah, it was like, what was the word I'm after? A leniency? An amnesty? An amnesty of sorts? No, that's not the right word.

A grace period? A grace, yeah. A grace period? So, it meant that you could, if you needed to drive around without a Warrant of Fitness, you would be exempt for that period because it meant that you could, if you needed to drive around without a warrant of fitness, you would be exempt for that period because it was, you know, trying to reduce contact between people, et cetera. And insurance companies weren't allowed to decline you because of your warrant not being If it had been expired before lockdown, you were naughty, naughty.

But if it was like over lockdown, no. But that meant at the end of that period, when everyone went to get their warrants again, when the leniency, the grace period was gone, huge amount of people got warrant of fitnesses that all expired exactly 12 months after that or 6 months after that if you're driving an older

car and you would have got a warrant and you'd be due for another one now So normally it would be spread across the whole year quite evenly. Yes. But it means that there is going to be a lot of people wanting wafts. And so lots of lines at the vehicle testing, or you might just not even get in.

And then if you need lots of work done on it, well, that's a new kettle of fish, isn't it? That's a whole year. Oh, yeah. Because then, yeah, mechanics will be snowed under. Yeah. So at the moment, apparently, mechanics and people that do the testing are sitting at about 20% to 25% of the usual warrant demands for this month

because it was lockdown last year. So you can go early. But then you're going to lose a month of your warrant. Not if they forget which hole to punch in that little thing. Well, they should move the hole another month. Yeah, they should. If you go early, that should be a... Because I think I got a thing saying if I went and got a warrant,

it would be extended on from the date that the warrant expired, not when I got it done. Yeah, surely. I may be wrong. I remember reading it and being like, oh, that's pretty cool, and then just left it for a long time anyway. Yeah, right. Well, yeah, if you can go ASAP next couple of weeks.

Yeah, because the coffee and those coffee machines at the VTNZ sheds are shit house. Jesus Christ. Just hope there's a nice cafe nearby if you've got to wait. No. Yeah, they've got the machine there, though. You pump in a little bit, a couple of dollars, and you want something semi-decent, not just some warmed up puddle water, you know. So go early.

Zedding's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's free and Clinton to listen to? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hit music with lives here. ZM.