ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 12th May 2021

Episode Date: May 11, 2021

Sunscreen Fraud!  Top 6: Greys Anatomy  Audio Ninja Warrior!  New Facebook Feature  Sleep Dealbreakers  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleet Morn and Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe by 5 McCafe coffees. Get one free on the Maccas app. Morgan's just put up a photo of Barbie masturbating. This is Morgan Penn who we've had in on the show a few times. Yeah, trainee sexologist podcast. Trained actually. We're trained, yeah. She's all about masturbation, mate. Well, it is, yeah, because I rang her the other day, and she asked me how I was, and I said, oh, you'd be pleased to know it's Masturbation May, and I'm doing my bit. Yeah, me too.

She said that, or you said that? No, I said that I'm doing my bit. I don't know what charity we're supposed to be collecting money for, but I owe them a lot. I owe them a lot of money. Is there any visual to go with that? You know how there's a moustache for Movember? I think it's just a hand

Unsure But also in my Instagram inbox I got this message from Copy It's supposed to say copyright It says copyright At information at information at Instagram. Oh, okay. This could be real.

Yep. Hello, dear comma user. We have received many complaints about your account for a long time. Before deleting account, we wanted to let you know that some of the posts you have posted are against community guidelines. If you think your copyright infringement is false, you must provide feedback. Otherwise, your account will be permanently deleted within 24 hours. Here's the appeal form, which is Copyregret infringement is false. You must provide feedback. Otherwise, your account will be permanently deleted within 24 hours. Here's the appeal form, which is copyright infringement.

Here's the PIN number to put in. Click the link. Thank you from Facebook and Instagram customer service. So it sounds legit. Fuck off, you scammy cunt. And I'm just awaiting a reply. Wow. Okay. I don't know if I need to so the idea is a google translate or not so the idea is some uh someone would fall for that and then what give them the credit card to pay for some

rights or no i think you click on the link and it will ask you to log in on a fake but real looking login and then they get your name and login and then they can steal it if you've got oh that sucks and then that's how um you end up Ray-Bans at 95% off. Which, didn't you promote Ray-Bans for 95% off at some stage? No, I've never. Me, it was me. That's right. It was me.

Apparently, the Fletcher and Megan Instagram account got this copyright information as well. Okay, well. The exact same one. Be on the lookout for that scam. Yeah. Don't fall for that. Don't click that, okay? Yeah. same one. Be on the lookout for that scam. Yeah. Don't fall for that. Don't click that, okay? Yeah.

ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fletchforn and Megan. The podcast. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletchforn and Megan. Two minutes past six.

Good morning. Good morning. Now, you've got something very special next to you in a pile, Megan. I literally just had to look at my hands to make sure they were clean before I picked it up. You should actually be touching that with like, you know those gloves? Yeah, those gloves. Those posh gloves that like auctioneers wear when they've got like something priceless. To stop price.

Are your hands clean? Yeah, I gave them a quick look. Okay. They're pretty clean. We have two signed copies of Billie Eilish's new book. Surprise. This has got thousands of photos. It's like a visual story of her life.

Unreleased pictures. And it's little commentary. It's a beautiful book. And these two are signed. Yeah. Signed copies. Now, apparently there's only three signed copies in this entire country of ours. Oh, and we have two.

Who's got the other one? Executive intern, who's got the other one? How come we did not get three? I don't know, but we have two. Yeah, so whoever they are, they're only half as good as us. And then everybody else sucks. Yep, pretty much. Okay, your chance to win one of these signed copies of Billie Eilish's new book at 8.30,

after 8.30 this morning on the show. We also have some exclusive audio from an audio book to go along with this picture book that I'll play for you at 8.30. All right. I'm looking forward to seeing how audio, the audio book of a picture book works. I think she just says, here's a picture of a house. It's her commentary on the pictures of her life.

And remember when we were kids, and there were the books, and it'd be like, ring, now turn the page. Does it have that? I hope so. Ring, now turn the page. When you have this sound,

it's time to turn the page. Coming up on the show, the top six. Grey's Anatomy has been officially renewed for its 18th season. Is the Kiwi guy in it still, Martin Henderson? I don't know. Remember when we talked to him? Don Martin Henderson? I don't know. Remember when we talked to him? Don't know. I don't know.

I think so. And McDreamy's not in it anymore. McMuffin or whatever. He hasn't been in it for ages. Did he get killed off? I can't believe it's been going eight. I think I stopped watching after like two seasons. Producer, aren't you our Grey's Anatomy?

Or did you start from the beginning and you're not quite up to date yet? No, I started right from the beginning, maybe at the start of the year. Vaughan spoiled the Denny dies. Yeah. That guy dies. Yeah. But then they're in that restaurant after him, so. No, there were several other spoilers, so I only made it to season three.

And I was like, oh, bugger it, I'm too far behind. So you just gave up. Was one of the spoilers Catherine Heigl's a bitch? Born Alan Smith. Don't you talk about Izzy like that, please. I apologise. I have to respect. Well, season 18.

Wow. Yeah, I got the top six storylines they could go with after 18 seasons of ridiculous medical issues. All right, next on the show, some news out about sunscreen. And we pay so much money for sunscreen in New Zealand. It is out of control. It's ridiculous. Well, it turns out we've been fleeced. We've been lied to.

Led up the garden path. Yeah. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Well, this is wild news. The owner of a United States lab that tested sunscreen products, some of which were sold in New Zealand, but like all over the world, has pleaded guilty in court to defrauding customers by reporting lab tests that weren't performed.

So could this explain why some sunscreen companies, when that consumer test comes out and they haven't got the SPF and the UV protection factor that they claim to have. Could that be an explanation for it? And they're like, what? This is news to us. Are they getting it tested there? In this article, it says that in consumers' latest test, which was in April, only three sunscreens were tested at AMA laboratories, which is where this all went down. And apparently these labs in America, this lab, has been doing this from 1987 to 2017.

So they... Wow. It's defrauded sunscreen companies or customers of $63 million. And four employees have pleaded guilty in connection. And they'll be sentenced later this year. So how are they defrauding the sunscreen companies? They're testing it and they're telling them that they're passing. They're not testing it.

They weren't testing it, right? So they schemed for decades. The U.S. attorney said that they schemed for decades it says the u.s attorney said that they schemed for decades to defraud customers of the labs and cause sunscreen and other consumer products to be sold and marketed to consumers on the basis of false lab testing reports so i don't know if they just cbf it's friday oh that's an spf yeah done 30 done send it away and then that gets marketed and then like especially in countries like New Zealand, like, we rely on...

Oh, yeah, we're going to... The sun wants us dead. We've got melanoma rates through the roof. Yeah. The sun wants to do two things. That's dangerous. I know. That's not just like, ha-ha, whoopsies.

Yeah. Yeah, crazy. I mean, it's a great country to get your washing dry. Don't get me wrong. There's lots of good positives about New Zealand. Yeah, a great country to pop something white with a little bit of stain left on it outside on the line. Yum, yum, yum, says the sun.

I'll eat up that stain, but it's also out to kill us. Yeah. And make solar power. There's a few things it does, but yeah, it's dangerous. But I think every year that Consumer Report comes out, and most of them are not even close to. Yeah, I'm looking at you, banana boat. Every year.

I think even your best SPF 50s like in the 40s, aren't they? Yes. That's why you're best to go quite high. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go as high as you can. Go as high as you can. And then even the ones that they're like, oh, it's not living up to its promise. And it was because it said it was 75, but it's only 70.

But there's still no like government, there's no mandatory standard. So the sunscreen companies can do anything, basically. Right. They can get it tested anywhere. Right. Which also seems a bit crazy. There's not one place that does it. Yeah, like, say, I don't know,

the government says you must go to this one or they test it. Yeah. I don't know. And it still doesn't just cost, like, $3 for a massive tub. I know. It's so expensive. So expensive. And you still doesn't just cost like $3 for a massive tub. I know. It's so expensive. So expensive.

And you hoon through it. Yeah. Because you let your kids do their own sunscreen and then they come out and you're like, oh, heck. They look like a ghost. Yeah. Best to be safe, though. Best to be safe. And then they jump straight in the pool and it all washes off straight into the pool.

Great stuff. Nobody waited for that to dry. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. This is actually really sad. Before I gave you a quick stat and I was like, this will be an easy riff. A riff. We'll be able to riff off the fact that 40% of men feel the pressure to have the perfect bod. A masculine bod.

Big, muscly chest, the abdominals, the tan, the whole shebang. Now, is this a New Zealand? Not too hairy either. Right. This is a British study, but it's really, there's a lot of that same New Zealand male. Psyche. Psyche, yeah, that's exactly right. Psyche involved in it.

There's a UK situation, much like our 1737, if you're struggling with anything, you can call this at any time. This is called Calm, a campaign against living miserably. They are an online sort of service in the UK. And they said 21% of the people they surveyed don't feel comfortable talking to anybody about their insecurities, about any issues. 21%, so one in five people don't feel comfortable, so you'll never know.

I know. And then sometimes it's too late, and you're like, God, I wish I said something. Yeah. And they say while it's always talked about the effects of social media on females, younger females, often the effects of social media on young males not talked about as much. And they said it's actually as prevalent and in some areas, if not a whole lot more.

Right. I'm citing that homosexual males in the UK felt even more so. Right. males in the UK felt even more so pressured by social media and had unobtainable bodies and arms and muscles put in front of them. Yeah. You're right. It is like there is a big push to, you know, sort it out for females. It's a big problem.

But in terms of like models on the runway, do you see plus size men models, male models? Do we see a lot more models on ASOS and fashion websites of like plus size females? Yeah. But like I don't feel like there's the same representation for guys. I don't even think I've seen a puku on ASOS. I've never seen a man in his undies with a puku walking down a carpeted hallway with confidence since I stayed at my grandparents back in the 90s.

Old bloody Alan, he used to love to strut around in his crotch and absolutely did not give a shit that his poku was hanging out. It's so weird, though, because, like, not every, honestly, not every woman wants, like, a ripped-ass dude. No. Well, when did we talk about that? A couple of weeks ago while you were away, Megan, we talked about like there was this massive study done on what people like about other people's bodies. And it was like actually everybody puts a lot of pressure on themselves,

the expectations upon themselves that they don't put on other people. Yeah. Not a lot of people like hairless guys. Some people like a really hairy chest. Some people like them to be really weedy. Some people like them to be really weedy. Some people like them to have a puku. They talk to like some people in this study, they talk to them specifically people who had come out the other side of body dysmorphia

where regardless of what they actually looked like, they never saw themselves as good enough or they always saw themselves as fat even though that they weren't. It's linked a lot to eating disorders. And one young guy in this story called Danny, even though that they weren't. It's linked a lot to eating disorders. And one young guy in the story called Danny, he would upload photos to Instagram and he said, you know, to get that photo that upload to Instagram,

sometimes he took 2000 photos. Oh, wow. And he could find something wrong with every single one of them and it led to an eating disorder. And then like for six months, he shut himself off because he didn't feel like he was good enough and then he'd put a photo up and it wouldn't get enough likes and he'd be like, I told you and then he just said

it was a massive problem. He went to a medical facility. He had a whole lot of counselling and everything and he said now you know, it's still in the back of his mind but. That sounds intense but to Alisa, like that's all of us. Very rarely do people take one photo and go, yep, putting that

on the gram. I always sacrifice my own stupid face in a group photo because everybody's talking about what photo to put up. I'm like, just, I don't care. But your eyes are shit in this one. I'm like, I don't care. My eyes are shit. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan.

The podcast. ZM. As someone who got married on Waiheke Island And recently spent a weekend on Waiheke Island I can attest to what a beautiful place it is It is lovely It is just Recommended it yesterday An Australian asked me what they should do If they came across for a week in August

And I was like You gotta hit your Queenstowns. Yeah, of course. You've got to hit your Wanakas. Tekapo, I said, if it's a clear night, you definitely want to hit Tekapo that time of year, one of those calm, clear winter evenings with some stargazing. And they said, oh, what about the North Island?

I said, nah. I said, oh, why heck yeah. You can get a nice winter weekend there. So stressful only having a week and then recommending something. Because you can't miss out the North Island. Because you could go North Island, but I said you could like fly into Rotorua from the South Island, do like the typical sort of like touristy stuff. I said, but to me, the North Island's a summer island.

Yeah. Your South Island's your beautiful winter island. Yeah. All possible. All possible, I said, but you've also limited yourself. Yeah. You want to do a whole country in one week. But anyway, I did recommend Waiheke Island. Yeah. All possible. All possible, I said, but you've also limited yourself. Yeah. You want to do a whole country in one week. But anyway, I did recommend Waiheke Island.

Okay. And it's to Waiheke Island we go now where the ongoing stoush between people who moved in next to a vineyard and the vineyard continues. Cable Bay, which if you've been lately, you're not allowed to sprawl out on the lawn anymore. Oh, that sucks. Yeah, because that's the last time I went, you had to go inside and they shut the curtains and they're like,

don't make noise. I know, and it sucks for them because they want to be that vineyard wherever and gets a photo with the Auckland City backdrop. Just a whacky winnowing for me today. Everyone stands by the helicopter and pretend that they got that there. Yeah. Oh, hey, just a whacky when I'm in for me today. Everyone stands by the helicopter and pretend that they got that there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fletch does that. I did that twice. We got a photo in front of the helicopter. Everyone's like, how did you guys afford to helicopter to Waikiki? We're just like, oh, we just... Babes, it's not what you know,

it's who you know. Exactly, yeah. And then like we leave and the people actually fly out of there. Yeah. But if you've never been, it's just a huge lawn in front of this restaurant and vineyard. Yeah.

And they'd put beanbags there and picnic blankets. And normally in summer, there'd be 100 people out there. So lovely. There's some olive trees. Are there olive trees? Some beautiful shady situations to find yourself in. But there is a problem in the fact that the noise travels through the valley. And there's quite a few houses in it.

Yeah, there's houses and other vineyards and bits and pieces around it. So there's ongoing noise complaints. Auckland City Council is prosecuting Cable Bay for a rowdy function in a live band that breached noise limits, and the company could be, and some people are saying should be, convicted and fined up to $600,000. What? That is ridiculous. Here's the best part about this. Okay.

The defense said, this is in defense of the winery, the noise you could hear was the sound of insects. Playing a very specific tune. That learned to play 660. What can we say? Crickets, cicadas and passing aircraft are probably responsible for the noise breach

and the case should just be thrown right out of court. Now I love that. I love the audacity to be like, now your problem is with Mother Nature itself. What? Now I don't know on the scale of deci now your problem is with Mother Nature itself. What? Now, I don't know on the scale of decibels what this is, but a cicada, the Google example that's given here is the African cicada, that produces a call song with a mean sound pressure level of 106.7 decibels. That's loud.

At a distance of half a metre. Okay, so that's close. That's quite close. But you know, thousands of them getting together. Yeah. There are other two species of North American cicadas have a 105.9 decibel reading. Right.

So you imagine if there's like all that bush and lots of cicadas in summer. Uh-huh. And you know what? Speaking of cicadas. It's not the worst defence you've ever heard in the history of legal defenses, is it? No. It could add up.

Also, speaking of cicadas, Brood X is about to come out. Oh, yeah. You know Brood X? Every 17 years, that massive cicada swarm. Other people monitoring it said they're moving closer to emergencies. Soil temperatures rise in the US and they are predicting this to be in the trillions. Whoa. So they can just stay there or those locals in Waiheke

will be really ropeable, especially if the cicadas all band together and learn to play a couple of bass-heavy pop songs. Okay, so a jet flying over or a helicopter is 100 decibels. So a cicada's super noisy next to it. But we don't have African cicadas yet So we need to test local crickets and cicadas But also

Cicadas are a relaxing sound though Rather than like Cheryl up at Cable Bay having a shriek Because she's had too many shardies Yeah, and it's also the other That's the noise complaint But then a whole lot of other people are like Oh, here's a video of some dude taking a wazz on our front lawn. Here's a picture of a drunk girl who's spewing next to our letterbox.

I was actually walking with a well-respected real estate agent who threw a road cone into somebody's bush as well. And yeah, that ended with a police car coming up and I had nothing to do with that at all. Right. Right. I just witnessed that. You witnessed that. I witnessed that. Atrocity.

Yeah, atrocity. Okay. So you do feel for the neighbours. Yeah. ZM's Fletch Warner-Megan, the podcast. From the underground ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there. Grey's Anatomy renewed for season 18.

Is this the longest running medical drama, drama-y TV show? I don't have those statistics. Grey's Anatomy, it started in the year 2005 and it's already up to 18. So that's averaging more than one a year. Yeah, right. Well, they pumped through it, didn't they?

Wow. Yeah. I just,. Well, they pumped through it, didn't they? Wow. Yeah. I just went to Google Grey's Anatomy. Sandra Owen, whether she returned to Grey's Anatomy? No. Good clickbait. Question. No.

She's not going back. She's great in Killing Eve. That's a great TV show. Oh, that's what she's moved on to. Yeah, but this is like, was this Shonda Rhimes? Was this the majority of the world's first introduction to Shonda Rhimes? I think it was, yeah. Gave her the go.

Well, it's been going since 2005. 18 seasons. Ridiculous storylines aplenty. So I've got some proposed storylines for season 18. Because they must be in need of some ideas. Oh, they are. They must have done everything. They are.

Number six on the ideas for Wacky Grey's Anatomy Storylines for Season 18 at Sacred Heart Hospital. What if one of the doctors, right, she's got a partner, and the partner is dying, but he's not at the top of the transplant list, so she, like, sabotages his medical equipment so that he goes to the top of the transplant list, and then he goes to the top of the transplant list, gets the transplant, but then dies of another situation,

but it's not over there, okay? Then she would have sex with his ghost and then... Hasn't this happened? Oh, yeah, that's right. That did exactly happen. Yeah. That whole ghost sex storyline was weird.

Yeah, really jumped the shark. I don't watch Grey's Anatomy, but I remember that happening. And I actually had sex with a ghost. I was like, what now? And then when Meredith was drowning, right, the ghost, she drowned, she was done. She was in the afterlife. And Denny's like, Meredith,

what's Sacred Heart going to do without you? And then she's like, oh yeah, that's right. I don't want to do it anymore. And then she woke like oh yeah that's right I don't want to die anymore and then she woke up and she'd been dead and then she went straight back to being a doctor no brain damage

no stand down period A Grey's Anatomy Number five on the list of the top six wacky Grey's Anatomy storylines for season 18 What if

the main character had just this endless stream of siblings sisters half sisters and they were all qualified surgeons as well. Right, okay. Yeah. That's already happened to her.

Oh, damn. Multiple times. Just when you think Meredith Grey's parents couldn't possibly have had any more children out of wedlock, another one comes up. And guess what? Always qualified. Always qualified as a doctor. It seems to be doctor genes.

It's in the genes. Number four on the list of the top six wacky Grey's Anatomy storylines I'm proposing for season 18. What if there's like a big plane crash? Yeah. There's like a plane crash and some of the major characters are involved in the plane crash. But one looks like he's going to survive,

but then he dies. And then one of the other guys actually survives because he jumped out of the plane while it was still in the air before it crashed. Right. Has this already happened? Yeah, that already happened as well. Oh, okay.

Yeah, right. Oh, damn. Lexi and Mark died in that plane crash. Yeah. And then McDreamy survived because he fell out of the plane while it was still in the air. Of course he did. At what altitude? It was like closer out of the plane while it was still in the air.

Of course he did. At what altitude? It was like closer to the ground, but it was still humming. It was still humming. He rolled when he hit the ground. Yeah, that's the good thing, a tuck and a roll. Yeah. A tuck and a roll.

Number three on the list of the top six wacky Grey's Anatomy storylines I'm proposing for season 18. What if, this one's short and sweet, what if a patient came in and they had an unexploded bomb inside their chest and so it was a surgery but it was also a bomb defuser. I remember that one. Oh yeah, that's already happened as well. That's already happened as well. But when you're watching it, it's, I don't know, it sucks you in and it's like, oh my god, this is dramatic.

It's not until you read it out to me that I'm like, oh yeah, that's... It's ridiculous. Quite stupid, yeah. Like, totally's... Ridiculous. Quite stupid. Yeah. Like, totally stupid. Number two on the list of the ideas I've got for Wacky Grows Anatomy storylines for season 18. What if the hospital was going to be put up for sale and the doctors pulled all their money together and bought the hospital? Has that already happened?

Yeah, that's already happened, too. That's already happened The doctors are like What have you got kicking around In your savings account? I'll go I'll go I don't know 18 million dollars

Oh me too Let's buy a hospital And number one on the list Of the top six ideas I've got for Grey's Anatomy Storylines for season 18 What about a episode That's entirely a musical?

It's happened What? It happened Season 7 That's entirely a musical? Oh, yeah. It's happened. What? It happened. Season 7. That's never a good idea. Season 7. Wasn't it somebody had, or was it Scrubs that had the musical episode that was, see, this is the thing. All of these sound like something that could have happened on Scrubs.

Who did that, it was fully one-shot or live episode. Did they do one of those? And the whole thing was like live and one-shot or live episode. Did they do one of those? And the whole thing was like live and one-shot? So it was more like a stage production than it was a TV show with cuts and stuff. Yeah. I don't know. Someone did that, eh?

I feel like that would have been quite amazing. Yeah, that would have been. That would have taken a lot. Probably just so much so that all the production people were like, never again. Never again, yeah. Never again. That is today's top six.

Flesh, Vaughan and Never again, yeah. Never again. That is today's top six. Gwyneth Paltrow, thou holy mother of goop, has, I think she's probably done well out of the pandemic. People stuck at home, ordering things online, trying to make themselves feel better. Oh, and goop's not cheap. No. That website she runs is everything's expensive. Remember that loaf of bread handbag or lamp she made?

That's right. Yeah. Everything on there. There's bits and pieces for your genitals. There's stuff that's not for your genitals, and most of it's for your genitals. Most of it's your universe, isn't it? Yeah, totally.

Well, she's come out and she said that she absolutely lost it and went off the rails over the last year. Oh, in the pandemic? Yeah. So like most of us, she's human. Yeah. She drank alcohol during quarantine and seven nights a week she'd have a drink and she'd do things like make pasta and eat bread.

I totally went off the rails. I mean, who drinks multiple drinks seven nights a week? Like, that's not healthy, she said. I think the rest of us to cope. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think everybody did. During lockdown, yeah. Especially bread.

But it just shows us that, you know, she's unhuman. Yeah. Which we were all forgetting because some of the stuff she said could only have come from the mouth of either a robot trying to be a human or an alien. So, fear not if you have also eaten bread. You're not alone. I swear she's playing a caricature of herself.

You have to watch that documentary. I think she knows how stupid she is. But she's just playing on it. I think she's having a laugh. To make money. Yeah. But then the dangers are that all the other people who are getting dragged into it who do believe it. The stupid people. Yeah, but who cares?

She's making money. She won't care, will she? Would you care if you were... Right. Well, yeah, I don't think I could. I couldn't sell somebody a crystal and be like, this is going to change everything. And then they put it on their windowsill, they think they're recharging it and it's not really doing anything.

Yeah. I could quite happily... I could fleece rich people. I could quite happily fleece anyone, yeah. Isn't that who she's fleecing? Because I mean, like, we can't afford the baguette handbag. But then you don't know who is buying that stuff. It's like religions that ask for a lot of money.

Yeah. You know, I couldn't do that because it's always the people who are giving the money who probably can't afford to be giving that amount of money. The money could be going

towards other things. So you can be a Brian Tamaki. Well, no more, but I could do Scientology because they're only fleecing the rich ones. Like Tom Cruise. Yeah, they don'tcing the rich ones. Like Tom Cruise.

Yeah, they don't want the poor ones. The rich ones that have something to hide. Yeah. That'd be fleecible. Yeah. I could see myself getting into something like that. Yeah. And the story about the alien spaceship waiting behind the planet to come on. Like, that's right up my alley.

Yeah. Because you love sci-fi. Yeah. Yeah. A friend of sci-fi. Okay, let's watch if Warren doesn't slip into Scientology. Okay. ZM's Fletch, Warn and Megan,

the podcast. We want to talk about extreme ways you made yourself quit something because a man has been smoking for a very long time and we all know that's difficult to quit. He decided to lock himself, actually just his head.

He has put his head into a cage, is how I would describe it. It's made of copper. He made it himself, 130 feet of copper wire. Is it one of those, like, you know, those old diving helmets they used to wear when they'd go diving? He said it was inspired by motorbike helmets. Okay. There's been heaps of helmets since then, Fletch. No, but when you said copper, you know those copper helmets that they had like a big fishbowl.

What are you talking about? Like a port window on the front. What do they call those? Like a diving bell. Yeah, a diving bell. Yeah, a diving bell. Like, a diving bell. Is that what a diving bell is? Yeah, a diving bell. Like a fully enclosed helmet. I guess.

But so this stops him smoking because what? You can't get into it. You can't get in. He's got a little opening to it, but his family have the key. So I guess if he wants to eat, maybe you could get a straw through. Because it's great. But then if you can get a straw through, you can get a ciggy through. Maybe you can't.

No, because you'd have to get it close enough to your mouth. There'd still be a distance between the grid. Yeah, there is. How much though? Because if you got it like, if you, this is the thing. The minute I did this to myself, I'd be trying to cheat myself as well. Like if you got a ciggy and you put it like right and you could just get it and then light it by tilting your head dangerous here because you're right above the flame

but just enough to get it lit and then you could probably have a cig. Or just go in your helmet and hang out in the smoker's area and inhale. Yeah. Well, he's been smoking two packs a day since he was 16 and he's a grown man now. So he's given his family the key to this. So yeah. How's this going? Or has this just started? Do we know, has he quit for long?

He's got, it's still on. So I guess it's working. At least he's cheating on the sly. This would probably be good for me with Tim Tams as well. This kind of device. But what you'd do is you'd just like smash your face into the bench and crush the Tim Tam and then or just do lines of Tim Tams as well. This kind of device. But what you'd do is you'd just like smash your face into the bench

and crush the Tim Tam and then pfft. Or just do lines of Tim Tams. Yeah, or just break them up and sprinkle them through as I lay on my back. Yeah. Hope I hit my mouth. Use the copper thing to like grate it into your mouth. Grated Tim Tams. Oh, yum.

And then my family get home with the key and they're like, oh, he's got into the Tim Tams. And you're like, naughty. Cover then my family get home with the key and they're like, oh, he's got into the Tim Tams. And you're like, naughty. Covered in chocolate. Yeah. You've got to want to help yourself. So this is probably on the most extreme end of the scale. But we wanted to open up the phones now and take your calls.

0800-DARLS-AT-M 9696. What extreme measures and lengths Did you take or go to To quit something Like maybe it was quitting a type of food And you locked the pantry Or you Made your partner in charge of the key And only they could

Get into the food Oh my god Well I've never been that addicted to anything that I've had to take Extreme measures And I don't recognise my addictions I recognise them as Well, I've never been that addicted to anything that I've had to take extreme measures. And I don't recognise my addictions. I recognise them as enjoyable liquid-based hobbies. So you don't have a problem.

Yeah. But maybe you had to, like, take yourself into the middle of nowhere to, I don't know, to quit something. And so you could have a couple of weeks in the middle of nowhere. Like an ayahuasca tent. Maybe. Or like a hut in the middle of nowhere so you can't drink alcohol. But then I'd just treat myself upon return and be like, you did great. Have a drink.

Or maybe you've got the willpower when you get back. I don't know. But I don't know. This is quite extreme. But yeah, have you ever gone to extreme measures or big lengths to quit something? We're talking about the extreme measures you've gone to quit something. A guy's built himself a copper head cage so he can't just easily pop a ciggy in his mouth and enjoy nicotine.

So we wonder if anybody else has gone to extreme lengths. Producer Jared has gone to extreme lengths. Now, this was also to quit smoking. Yeah, so I went from almost a pack a day to a packet of lollipops a day. I've heard about those people replacing cravings with sugar. So you're going from risking lung cancer to risking type 2 diabetes. Yeah.

And everything with that. I had to stop the lollipops because one of my teeth just broke in half. Wow. How long were you doing lollipops for? About a week. Wait, when you say lollipops, you mean like chupa chups, right? Yeah, like I would get a multi-pack bag of chupa chups.

How many is that? Like 20-ish. Because I thought you were doing those flat ones that are for kids. Oh, no, no, no. Yeah. Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Nothing wrong with a classic. Nothing wrong with one of the classics.

I like a flat one because you can put it on the roof of your mouth. No, I feel like if you're an adult, if you're going to do a lollipop, it's got to be a choppa chop. But not a cream-flavored one. Oh, no. Only cola. What's wrong with cola? Only cola.

Orange. Strawberries and cream is good. Nah, no cream-flavored ones. Did you say orange? Yeah, I like the fruity ones. Yeah, orange is good. Yeah, yeah you say orange? Yeah, I like the fruity ones. Yeah, orange is good. I like the zesty fruity ones. Not a cream though, yuck.

No, yuck. Who are you? And I suppose the lollipop also, because smokers say they like to have something in their mouth, don't they too? Yeah, so it's the whole something's in my mouth, something's in my hands. Right.

Okay. I just, I mean, yeah, I was going to suggest something. So, but now you're a vaper. Yeah. So you went from lollipops to vapes, or did we miss something in that link? No, I can get the lollipop flavours in vape form without the tooth decay.

That's handy. Wow, and this is what they say is a problem for obvious reasons why kids are getting hooked to vapes. Yeah. Alright, thank you producer Jared.

Are some messages in? I got married to stop gaming. I get one day a week to game now down from every day. Married to stop gaming? Yeah.

I think they're like taking the mick. They're saying it was a gaming addiction but it got broken by the fact they got married. Yeah. I think they like taking the mick. They're saying it was a gaming addiction but it got broken by the fact they got married. Yeah, right. Okay.

So marriage is getting in the way. Yeah. More marriage is getting in the way than marriage helped them. Yeah. It didn't so much sound like they thought they had a problem. Someone said,

my ex wanted to help quit our relationship. It's working so far. Yeah, yeah. It's working so far. I haven't seen them for ages, so that does sound like it's working. What about this message

that came in on Instagram? Someone on Instagram said they quit biting their nails because they got gastro. Oh. So they weren't washing their hands. No, you've got to wash. If you're a nail chewer like I am,

you've got to wear a hand washer. But I guess they had that extreme measure forced on them by their own dirty habits. They always say it's equivalent to licking the toilet seat, biting your nails. If you don't wash your toilet seat. You've got to keep on top of them too. You can't let them get too long. Yeah, because I do a lot of swimming.

So when I finish swimming, my nails are really clean. Because of all the chlorine. Well, just because you've been in the water for half an hour. Yeah. And so you always have a nibble. But you've also been in the water with everyone else's skin. Oh, yeah. No, but then I have a shower.

Right. And then you have a chew. And then I have a chew on the way home. I'm like, look at you, ready for a chew. Look at you, clean and ready to chew. Nom, nom, nom. Someone else said, I locked my keys in a timed safe to stop going for late night snack runs. Can you get a timed safe?

Yes, you can. Oh, like those stickers that you see and they're like, don't rob us. The safe's on a timer. So you just take the whole safe and unlock it later when it pops open. And somebody else said, I moved overseas to break my blue V habit. I didn't even know I was doing it, but I got there and they didn't have it.

And so I just stopped drinking energy drinks. Oh, right. Okay. So that's the blue V is pretty good, though. Yeah. What does the Blue V taste like? When Ross bosses into V, didn't when he moved to Dubai, I think he had people send it to him.

Yeah. Or he took cases of it back. Did he? Import, export. Yeah. Bit of business savvy there. Yeah. Keeping up to date with the news

just became a little easier. As at Herald's new podcast, the front page is your short, sharp daily news podcast. Join me, Damian Venuto, every weekday morning as I chat with journalists and newsmakers going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest news stories of the day. Listen to The Front Page at nzherald.co.nz slash podcasts and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. Fletch Vaughan and Megan, the podcast ZM.

Fletch Vaughan and Megan's Audio Ninja Warrior. Well, it's the return of Audio Ninja Warrior. Two contestants fighting through our obstacle course. Now, do we need to put out? I think we've just had a contestant drop off at the last minute. Goodness me. I freaked out. Was that Attica?

Did we lose Attica? Yeah, we did. What a lovely, we were just saying what a lovely name. Never heard it before. A little bit like Antarctica. Oh, 800 dials at him if you'd like to be our second contestant. We just had a drop off. This is, what a disaster. Don't be sad. Don't be sad. You know I like perfection. Don second contestant. We just had a drop-off. What a disaster.

Don't be sad. You know I like perfection. Don't be sad. You strive for it. I know, but it's like I've always said to you, you'll never be perfect. Look at you. Take a look in the mirror. If perfect is what you see, you're delusion.

We've got Tim here. Good morning, Tim. Good morning. Welcome to audio. That was a bit of a second choice. Oh, not too bad. He's no article. All right, well, Tim, welcome to Audio Ninja Warrior.

You'll be up against Katie today. Katie's in the cone of silence, so she doesn't hear your round of sounds. We're going to give you a sound. You've got to give us the sound back. And if we're happy with that, we'll move on to the next sound and we'll move through the Audio Ninja Warrior course. The fastest to complete wins. Are you ready, Tim?

Yep. Alright, here we go. Make the sound of a dog at the door. Hold on, we're just going to pause there. What just happened there? Oh, no. Did Tim just... Tim was like, I don't know what a dog sounds like,

and then he just hung up. All the phone lines have just, like, glitched. Oh, no. Is that what happened to Artika? Okay, we've got Katie. Katie, good morning Morning I don't know what's happening with our phone system

But we're I don't think it was the glitch that made that sound though That definitely came out of his mouth right? I think Tim I think Tim just made a terrible first sound And decided to leave the competition Katie I think that's just what happened I feel bad because I'm second choice now

Did he like Do you reckon he was just so bummed He was like Nah man Oh I've stuffed up here I sick and choice now. Do you reckon he was just so bummed? He was like, nah, man. Oh, I've stuffed up here. I don't know. Well, Katie, are you ready for the obstacle course? Yeah, let's go. All right.

Your time starts now. Dog at the door. Oh, that is so good. Soda stream being pumped. Oh, she did short pump. She didn't hold them down. is so good. Soda stream being pumped. Oh, she did short pumps. She didn't hold them down. Yeah, good. A helicopter flying over.

Yes. A penguin. I don't know what that sounds like. Not at all, but I liked it. Rain on the roof. That's a downpour on a thin tin roof. And a fire in the chip aisle. Yeah, don't leave.

I don't know what that was, but sure. What an absolute fiend. I've done it. Now we've just heard Tim's dead. Oh, no. Absolute fiend. I've done it. Now we've just heard Tim's dead. Our first second choice caller, Tim, gone forever. RIP. Tim will be missed.

RIP, Tim. I hope his phone did cut out and he didn't feel stink that he didn't make a good dog noise. Yeah. Well, into the code of silence, Katie. Monique, good morning morning Good morning, Monique How are you? Oh God, we've got a terrible phone line We can hardly hear Monique

Momo, Momo, neck, neck, there she is You know that I like perfection porn You are constantly striving for it We're just assuming you said good, Monique You're good Oh, there we go Alright, Monique, are you ready for the audio ninja warrior? I've just found you can do a different looking stopwatch.

I think so. Oh, my God. How cool does that lap watch look? Oh, my God. I'm going to use that. How did you do that? Well, you go into your stopwatch on your iPhone and then you swipe right. Oh, and it's like an old school stopwatch.

Yeah, it's like what the PE teacher would wave in your face. Yeah. Call you a fat loser too. All right. Monique, are you ready? Why didn't you bring that up, Monique? Monique, are you ready? I'm going to call you Tim Monique.

Because I've already written Tim in your thing. This phone line is going to go against you, but let's try anyway. Here we go. Your time starts now. Dog at the door. Okay, you know what? Soda stream being pumped. Yeah, I think that sounded good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. A helicopter flying over. That's a dog at the door flying the helicopter going over. A penguin. Timonake, are you there? I'm just going to tick it. Yeah, just tick it. Rain on the roof.

Yep. Yep. Yep. There you go. That was good. And a fire in the chip aisle. Fire in the... Taco Bell.

Yes! Well, we got there, Monique. Fantastic. We'll bring in Katie. Timonate, please. Sorry, Timonate. We renamed her in memory of Tim. Okay.

Vaughn, the results. Well, one competitor got 41 seconds. Okay. And then after the dot, it was 2.7. What do you call that? 27 hundredths of a second. Yep. And the other quarter got 48 seconds and 85 hundredths of a second,

which means our winner today is, and I believe our fastest through the six obstacle course, is Katie. Congratulations. Katie, congratulations. Well done. The winner of today's Audio Ninja Warrior. And didn't we have our own obstacles there?

Something amazing has just happened to me. What? Clear the schedule. We need a break. It just happened Like in this moment Literally It happened when The whole Tim thing

Was happening I was dealing with Tim's death Yep Which has affected Me deeply emotionally Why don't we do this In the next break

Or would you want to Do the break after No I want to do it In the next break While it's hot off the press Okay alright We were here What happened to you

It was pretty funny It was pretty funny Okay alright Well let's deal You shit yourself Actually before I thought I had We were here. What happened to you? It was pretty funny. It was pretty funny. Okay. All right. Well, let's deal. You shit yourself. Actually, before I thought I had, but I have not. So you weren't far wrong, Megan. A warm fart on a hairless bottom can often lead you to think you might have just done a little bit of pose.

Okay, well, it's not that. Let's deal with whatever's happened to Vaughn next. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Megan, the podcast. Okay. This is a little bit of background to what's happened this morning. There's been, this is very funny. For me, not so much for my wife. Oh, okay.

Yeah, right. So our kids will like, for example, when they're going to school this morning, they'll likely send me a message on Facebook Messenger. Yeah. Now there's Kids Messenger, which they'll message if they're on their devices. But if they're not, they'll message off Sade's phone. Be like, hey. So when they're on Sade's Messenger on her phone, Facebook Messenger, they always change the theme. Because, you know, in conversations, you can change, like, the theme.

Look, it's purple now. It was black and white yesterday. So whenever they get in it, they're like, hey, Dad, we're off to school. I'm like, have a great day at school. can change, like, the theme. Look, it's purple now. Oh, yeah. It was black and white yesterday. So whenever they get in it, they're like, hey, Dad, we're off to school. I'm like, have a great day at school. And they're like, see you later. And then they'll change the colour scheme and they're like, change the emojis. And they just, I don't think they ever really want to talk to me. They just want to change the theme.

So they changed, yesterday they worked out how to change people's names in the conversation. Okay. So they changed it and then left it. And I was like, oh, that's funny. So then I changed my name in the conversation to Burtman. Okay. Which has been one of the many cute nicknames I've got over the years. From your kids.

Yeah. Burtman. Burtman. Okay. So now park that part of the conversation here. Okay. Here's something we prepared earlier. So put that to that side. We're going to start working on another part of the conversation here. Okay. Here's something we prepared earlier. So put that to that side.

We're going to start working on another part of the dish. August is playing soccer this year. Okay. For a team that are called the Vipers. Now there's a group chat on Facebook for all the parents of the kids in the Vipers to keep like what field are they playing on, what time the game is,

what they need to bring if there's a practice. Now all the parents are in there. Who's in charge of the washing this week? Yeah, washing. Oranges. That sort of stuff. Now, that conversation is called Vipers, and it starts with a V. Now, you may remember that my name is Vaughn, but I'm currently Burtman.

Yeah. The conversation comes up as a conversation Sharday's having with Burtman. So she's just woken up this morning. Yep. She's gone to message me, Vaughn, but she's messaged the group she can see with a V at the start. And since the whole parent group of August soccer team, morning lover,

which is why we're just like morning lover or good morning lover. I don't know why we always do lover in morena lover or good morning lover. I don't know why we always do lover in the morning. It's always lover. And I see it pop up as like in the Vipers, Sade, hey lover. I'm like, I'm not going to tell her. Born. Plus, you'll remember we were in the middle of Tim dying in Audio Ninja Warrior. Yeah, yeah.

We just tuned in, Tim died. He was a contestant. He was a contestant. Don't be sad. It's what he wanted. Tim was actually our first ever contestant death on the show. Yeah, yeah. That happens on Ninja Warrior and now it's happening on Audio Ninja Warrior.

Yeah. So I leave it and then I see maybe 30 seconds later, Sade has unsent the message. Oh, okay. If you're ever in a group chat And there's an unsent message You immediately want to know what it was Yeah And most people

If they're awake now Would have seen the preview on their phone And all of these people are parents So they're awake Getting the kids ready for school As soon as it says morning lover You're opening it You're like

What's this? How many people had seen the message? Could you tell? Well, a few because there's lots of like laughy faces. And then Sade's like, that was the wrong group. And she's done like the laughy emoji. But I know she's not laughing. She's like, oh, my God.

She's mortified. She's not going to want to. And I said to her, well, now that like you said, hey, lover. Yeah. These parents are going to think we are just 10 and a half years into marriage and still just absolutely sexually active. They're imagining like, oh, the Smiths are late for practice. What have they been doing? So this is great for me.

Yeah, yeah. Because, you know, now everyone's just going to think I'm this. It's not great for you because now you're going to have to do all the pick-ups and drop-offs and organise. She's not going to want to show her face. No, but that's fine because I'll do the pick-ups and the drop-offs and, you know, stand on the sideline because all the other parents are going to be looking at me being like, what's his secret?

And then hopefully it, you know, goes down the path of a rumour about that I'm well appendaged, shall we say. Because I'm not much to look at. So I've got to have something going on. This is like when producer Jared messaged a group chat, goodnight. Goodnight, babes. What was it?

What was it, Jared? I loves you so much or something. I loves you smoochies. Yeah, it was like, babe, I love you so much. And it came up on the, yeah, it was after bingo. One of the bingo tours. It was in the Christchurch bingo night. He wasn't drunk.

Those were responsible for it. No, a little bit, maybe. No, no. So brave. Oh, okay. Yeah, I was trying to help you out there. But I took a screenshot as soon as I saw it on the lock screen because he unsent it. And even

if you unsend a message, if it's on their preview screen they'll see it. Yeah, it is. Alright. So that's going to be fun. Fun to deal with. Sade's just apologised. And the group chat. And the group chat for the Vipers parents because I'm like sending all the heart eyes and the wanky faces in the parent group.

She's like, calm down. Have a good day, everybody. Sorry for this early morning interruption. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. I have found an article about sleep deprivation and how it is linked to female sexual dysfunction. Not men.

And just moments ago, I said, how much sleep did you get last night? Because you've got the new ba-ba. Ba-ba. Three and a half hours. And I said, now, there have been complaints that somebody dropped an F-bomb. After I said three and a half hours. And I said, now, there have been complaints that somebody dropped an F-bomb. After I said three and a half hours. And I said, jeez. And then you made a noise.

I went far. I think I went far, like far out. Yeah, but everything combined, people are now accusing somebody of dropping an F-bomb. Now we are. Absolutely. We're broadcasting professionals. This is no F-bomb. So I apologize.

So Jared's just going poos, but as soon as he gets back, hopefully soon, I believe he's fairly healthy and regular in the bell, he's going to grab a little audio sample of that. He had a pie for breakfast, so I'm not sure. He drinks exclusively energy drinks and eats nothing but pies. It'll fly out of him. He's messaging from the bathroom saying, how dare you. But he's been in there for five minutes.

Well, if he's taking the time to text, then yeah. He's sad, isn't he? Okay, I feel like he doesn't get enough fibre, but that's beside the point. So this is, yeah, for females, and it is not sleep duration actually in this study. It is sleep quality. So I had three and a half hours, but I may have been dead for those

three and a half hours. And that is in contrast. So like, if you have really good quality sleep, you have great sexual activity. However, if you have a poor sleep quality, so you wake up and you're like, oh my God, you dreamed you were active. It was just horrendous.

That is linked to poor sexual activity and sexual dysfunction in females. What? Have they pointed the finger at any sort of like primal coding? Cheese before bed. What? Because that leads to crazy dreams. No, I just meant like, is there a reason why, you know, cavemen,

because all of this stuff, they always trace it back to cavemen. And maybe if females weren't sleeping well, they were less likely to be able to, you know, produce healthy offspring, that sort of thing. You know how they always like point at the cavemen and they're like, we'll trace this back tens of thousands of years and we'll find out why if they're getting poor sleep, they won't be sexually active. But I just feel like if you had poor sleep

or not many hours sleep, either way, you're just like, that just can't be bothered, right? Yeah. Right, so you've got an energy priority ranking. Yeah. And if you don't have much energy, let's say relations is fifth for females

and there's four things above it and you've got to prioritise energy for those top four whereas men it's number one so even if they're dying and they've got like two minutes of energy left before they literally turn to dust they'll be like, do you want to do it?

So true. That's accurate. Yeah. Gotcha. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. I want to talk about sleep deal breakers because the old classic top sheet yarns back in the... In the news cycles.

This is like... You can almost set your watch by it. Every three months. How often this is in. Yep. Do you do a top sheet? Do you not do a top sheet? This generation hates a top sheet.

What is going to happen next? Are they going to sleep without a fitted sheet? What about someone that didn't have a top sheet, do you not do a top sheet? This generation hates a top sheet. What is going to happen next? Are they going to sleep without a fitted sheet? What about someone that didn't have a fitted sheet? Oh, madness. No madness. Yuck, tucking it in all the time and it comes loose. But they sell them in a pack, a fitted sheet and a loose sheet. But you can buy two flat sheets, right?

So the idea is that particularly generation millennial doesn't like a top sheet. So they go fitted sheet and then straight to duvet. Yeah. Or coverless or whatever. I'm a big fan of a sheet. Yeah, I like to be sandwiched in between the sheets. Duvet, but Sade's got rid of the top sheet.

Really? And then this is the weird thing. She won't sleep underneath the duvet. It's too heavy a weight for her. So she sleeps underneath this blanket. So she'll bring a blanket in. So there's a blanket. Yeah.

But is it... She sleeps on top of the duvet under the blanket. And I don't touch the blanket because I'm under the duvet. But my preference would be to be under a sheet under the duvet with the blanket to the side. Well, why doesn't she put the sheet on for you and sleep under the sheet? That's a very good question.

Well, you can put the sheet on. I don't know put the sheet on for you and sleep under the sheet? That's a very good question. Well, you can put the sheet on. I don't know where the sheet is. Last time I put the sheets on, I put the wrong pillowcase on, and that was a big thing. You've got to have the matching pillowcase. The thing is, though, the duvet, like, if you've got a top sheet, you don't have to wash your duvet as much. Yes, it's a cleanliness thing for me.

Washing the duvet is such a mission. Because you'd have to wash a duvet as much. It's a cleanliness thing for me. Washing the duvet is such a mission. Because you'd have to wash the duvet every week. Yeah, 100% you would. That's the point, right? No, because there's that old sheet rotation policy too. If we're going back to another generation, going back. Because who doesn't like the top sheet? Millennials.

You've got the article. Yeah, millennials. But what are Gen Z's thoughts on the top sheet? I feel like we've got to ask them at least. I'm not going to take it into consideration at all, but you ask them, you make them feel good about the fact they've been asked for their opinion, and then you ignore them. It's a management technique. And then going back a generation, like my parents' generation, the vibe was that you had the sheet, the top sheet, the duvet, and then the top sheet became the sheet, and that sheet got washed. Right. The top sheet, the top sheet, the duvet, and then the top sheet became the sheet,

and that sheet got washed. Right. The top sheet became the bottom sheet for a week, and then you got washed. We're not in the war now. We don't have to rational washing. So we're still doing the same amount of washing without the top sheet. Right.

There's a lot to think about here. But we're not wondering specifically your thoughts on top sheets, duvets, blankets, whatever you're sleeping under. But are there, do you have sleep deal breakers? Like things that you could not cohabitate with someone if they had a bed habit that wasn't to your liking. Yeah, like maybe you meet the perfect person. And they sleep on your side of the bed.

Oh. Oh, yeah. That's how I knew we were meant to be because we had separate sides of the bed. It was like perfect. No one had to compromise. I don't know if we had sides of the bed before we got together, but it happened naturally and it's just been the same sides ever since. Some people swap in relationships.

Some people, that blows my mind when people swap sides. We got drunk at the weekend and we slept on the different sides of the bed. I woke up, I didn't know what was going on. Where am I? I've got a headache. I feel unsafe and like, I don't think I'd get to sleep. But you were in a hotel, right? Yes. That's different. No. We still always sleep on the same sides

when we go to a hotel. But yeah, we got booze so we woke up, we were just kind of like sprawl. It was a big night for Christmas. Semi sideways. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. And it just sounds so weird. But maybe you've met, you meet someone and I don't know,

the sleep deal breaker is, I don't know, yeah, the wrong side of the bed or they snore or they flail. They're a flailer. Oh, yeah.

You have to turn over and their arms are like those wavy inflatable arm men. You're like, yeah, okay, car yard, calm down.

I'm not coming in. But yeah, there'll be heaps because it's, you know heaps The old saying is spend a third of your life in bed Even more so if there's just been a pandemic And you can just sit there for the whole day Watching things, eating and not being judged Yeah So 0800DARLS.AM Give us a call now, you can text us

9696 Do you have a sleep deal breaker? Something that you just absolutely can't put up with in bed. Do you? Just somebody taking up room in my bed. Someone's saying. The millennial top sheet

is in the news cycle again. It's every couple of months. Millennials don't like top sheets. They go straight to the duvet. That's bum against duvet. I'm not about that. But we've got some messages on cohabitating sleep like top sheets. They go straight to the duvet. That's bum against duvet. I'm not about that. No. But we've got some messages on cohabitating sleep, sleep kind of deal breakers.

Yeah. We want to hear what would be your deal breaker, but also what your partner does that is really going to either end in homicide or separation. Yeah. Lots of calls coming through.

Alicia, what's the sleep deal breaker, the bedroom deal breaker? Well, I'm actually calling on behalf of my ex because I found out what his deal breaker was. So, imagine it's winter, all snuggly in your dressing gown. I thought 10 years ago it would be a good idea to start wearing that dressing gown to bed. Turns out that was his deal breaker.

Perfect for me, because I got to know that he was not the one for me. You were sleeping in a dressing gown? While you're waiting for the ghost of Christmas past to come and whisk you away, Ebenezer Scrooge? I mean, growing up now, it's quite hazardous. I mean, there's that string that goes around your waist. That could have been quite hazardous. I mean, there's that, you know, string that goes around your waist. That could have been quite tough. You know, but I got to know

that he wasn't the one for me. So it was a blessing for me, right? So you don't sleep in the sleeping gown now. What are you sleeping now? I've got my pyjamas and I've got a top sheet. Oh my goodness. You are a grown-up now, Alicia.

Thanks for your call. Kimberly, my goodness. You're a grown-up. You are a grown-up now, Alicia. Thanks. You're called Kimberly. Your sleep deal breaker? It has to be when the person tries to face your face. Oh, yeah. And you can feel their hot, stinky breath. Yeah, no. In your life.

No, it's just a no. A straight no. No. So you've got to try and time the outward breaths at the same time. Otherwise, you're getting like... I know. But then you awkwardly have to roll over. And if you're really comfortable, that's like a pain in the ass.

Like, I'm really comfortable. You turn the other way. Roll them over. Yeah, exactly. Do you normally turn the other way to them? Is that what you normally do? Yeah. Back to back.

100%. Yeah, back to back's good stuff. Brilliant. Kimberly, thank you For your cool text messages Sharing the bed In the first place But other than that My partner sleeps

Diagonally Which means I have to sleep Diagonally Are they too tall For the bed I don't know But if they're short right

You're gonna You're gonna shunt them To the side And you get the longest Diagonal You get the Pythagoras Theorem across Working out the length Of the A squared Plus B squared Equals you sleeping Diagonally shunt them to the side and you get the longest diagonal. You get the Pythagoras' theorem across. Working out the length of the A squared plus B squared

equals you sleeping diagonally. They need to go out with a short person, that tall diagonal sleeper. Jessie, what's your sleep deal breaker? Look, if you're fully dressed and you're zoinked from the day and you really need a nap and you hop under your blanket and your jeans and your top from the day and you've been sitting on a bus and getting germies all over your pants.

Yes. Grotty. I have been known to have a nap in clothes, but you know. Always on the top though. On top, yeah. On top of the bed. Yep, 100%.

Do you know I had a nap not yesterday, the day before. I fell asleep with my hands like intertwined across my chest like I was dead. Like you're in a coffin. Yeah, with my sleep mask on. Everybody have a good laugh. When I woke up, my hands were dead and I couldn't pull them apart.

They were numb. They'd gone numb. And I was like, I couldn't get them apart. And you're like, I'm glued together now. And I couldn't take my sleep mask off because I couldn't get my hands up. I was like, ah. It was like the start of a horror film. Jessie, thanks.

You call some more sleep deal breakers text through. So the person messaged in about the diagonal sleepings. He's not tall. He's just a very greedy sleeper. Oh, no. Just start poking. Just poke them back over their side. Blanket stealers as well.

People keep thinking about blanket stealers. Lots of blanket stealers. Somebody else said, my ex used to move every eight breaths. Like literally, you could count it. Eight breaths, move. Eight breaths, move. Now, he did all that in his sleep,

but you try sleeping next to somebody moving that much. What is he like swimming? Restless leg syndrome or something. That's the one where, yeah, they kick the blankets down, eh? Because their legs are always moving and they're kicking the blankets. Oh my God. People that can't have the top sheet tucked in

can't deal with that. You need to be tucked in. So do I. I always need the top sheet tucked in and if I go to bed and it's a little bit loose or it's open, I'm like, I'll be like, no, just let it. Just let it go. No, because the monsters, that's how they slip their hands in. Yeah, I need to get up and steal it. You're cocooned and safe.

Tucked in on the side, but I like to kick the bottom out. No. So I've got feet room, but I'm snug. No, the side's fine. That's where the air comes in and out. Oh no, I'm an air at the feet guy. I'm tucked in all around. Lots of stories about socks. Pro sock, anti sock.

Yeah, I don't get how people sleep in socks. And somebody said toenails. Like digging into your leg? Yeah, sharp toenails. Sharp toenails, absolutely not. Like they love their partner, but the minute that toenail is creeping out past the end of the toe, there will be a swift word about a pedicure.

Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the Day finds its origins in the French Revolution. Vive la Revolution. Okay. French Revolution. Don't know much about it. Don't know much about it. No, it just happened.

French history. Yeah. Napoleon Bonaparte. Was that that or something else? Yeah, I think he was after this. Oh, okay. Guillotines? Yeah, there were guillotines.

Was it guillotines? Many guillotines. Good. Yeah, okay. So it went from 1789 to 1799. Okay. Blah, blah, blah, French Revolution. But the most exciting part about the French Revolution

is it almost gave us decimal time. Now, if you're like me, you don't really like the fact that there's 12 hours in a day. I know 12 hours on the clock, but there's 24 hours in the day. So it has to go around twice. There's 60 minutes make up an hour,

but then there's 12 hours. It's all over the show, isn't it? Yeah. There's 60 seconds in a minute, but there's 100 parts to a second. Yeah. All of this. It feels like yards, feet, and inches. Yeah.

It's imperial and it's dumb. Well, the French proposed, they smashed the old 24-hour, 60 minutes in an hour, 60 seconds in a minute clock, and proposed a 10 hour day with 100 minutes per hour and 100 seconds per minute. How good would that have been? All easily divisible. Why didn't we do that? Yeah. That seems pretty logical.

It would have been really, really good. So noon would have been five o'clock. Okay. You would have said, ah, lunch at five. And it's all weird. Because there was only 10, lunch at five. And it's all weird. Because there was only 10 hours in the day. And it's weird hearing

this all now, but if this was our normal, that would make absolute sense, wouldn't it? It would be so good. So I can tell you what the,

what right now, what the decimal time would be. Yeah. It would be 3.53. Okay. And 24 seconds. But of course, 3.53. 3. And 24 seconds. But of course-

3.53. 3.53. How long would we have to do our show for? Would we have to do more hours? Or one hour would be like four. Okay, we would- How would it be 3.53? Because wouldn't midnight be 10 o'clock?

And then we're three hours. Zero. No, and then we start again. So it's 10, but it's also zero. Okay. So it gets to 10 and you're done. 10 hours in the day. Oh, but the hours are longer. So it gets to 10 and you're done. 10 hours in the day. Oh, but the hours are longer.

It's 100 minutes an hour and 100 seconds in that minute. Wow. So it would be easy to work out like what's one third of the day. Yeah. Because it's not like breaking it down by 12 and stuff. It would just be decimal, like how we do our numbers. So what they, the French were like, let's do this. Let's do this. This makes sense.

This is great. And a few people were like, yeah, that's fantastic. I really like the idea. But then it got parked because they couldn't get the nations around them. And of course, that's how time and calendars and everything work. There has to be a mass acceptance of it. Everybody has to

get on board. Unlike America with the metric system. Yeah,. Everybody has to get on board. Unlike America with the metric system. Yeah, if they could just get on board. Miles, pounds, all of the measurements. Yeah, gallons. If we could all just get with the liters. Yeah. It just makes sense.

Yeah. And the temperature. The temperature, if they could get on board with the temperature as well. That's right. They do the Fahrenheit. Yeah. So again, 100 years after in 1897, they tried to get it going again. Okay.

Slightly changed though. There would still be a 24-hour day, but it would have 100 minutes and 100 seconds per minute. Right. Yeah. What would we do with daylight savings? We'd have to put the clock back an hour and we'd be going four hours, wouldn't we? Or something ridiculous. We'd put it back less time.

Yeah, right. Probably just crank it back a little bit. Or yeah, just not do it at all. Yeah, right. Since if we're having a total clock-based revolution, we might as well get rid of daylight savings as well. So today's fact of the day is right now it is 3.54 in decimal time

but 8.30 in normal time because in the French Revolution they proposed decimal time but it never really caught on. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. There's been a study done by some economists as to what New Zealanders are going to be looking to spend their money on in the next few months.

Okay. As the economy sort of like recovers from the COVID-19 situation, although, you know, ours wasn't as bad as others. Yeah. But with Kiwis looking at what they're going to spend their money on, this is something they, I guess they just survey a whole bunch of people. Well, and normally pre-COVID, it costs us so much to go travelling, like, because we have to fly all the way around the world

or halfway around the world. Yeah. You know, people aren't spending thousands of dollars on these big holidays anymore. Yeah. So they're spending it here. That's correct. And that is true.

29% of respondents plan to spend more time exploring Aotearoa. And that is up from 25% in April. Right. So that's despite the fact also when the survey was done, Australian's Tasman bubble was open and Cook Islands had been announced. Oh, wow. They were both people who had known about them. But that's the thing.

I think people will be reluctant to travel internationally. I mean, that's something we'll be able to do again in the future. But at the moment, check out our own little backyard. Yeah. So I had some friends over at the weekend from Melbourne. And that made me think, well, maybe I should risk it. But then, are you going to risk it? You've got the real itch, whereas I'm not so keen until everyone's vaccinated.

Vacuumated. That's where you jump in a plastic bag and vacuum it shut. You seal yourself. So 27% of people said that they were going to be doing some sort of renovations around the home.

That's up from 19% in April. Because I know friends have looked at renovating and it's really hard to get some supplies at the moment. Supplies and builders. Flooring that's made overseas or like even appliances are quite delayed. Yeah, and builders are because everyone's been doing renos. Busy people.

So those are the big ones. Cars, people buying cars. Cars not as high as it was. But, I mean, last year, a lot. A lot of people bought new cars. And that's the other thing. Cars coming into the country were delayed. Yeah.

So, you know, that made it, people wanted them even more then. You want them, but you can't have them. But people also are cutting back on investment property spending. Well, that's good if you're looking for a house, hopefully. Yeah. Hopefully that leads to houses being more affordable. But good news for, that's good if you're looking for a house, hopefully. Hopefully that leads to houses being more affordable. But good news for,

that's good, I hope it translates into good news for New Zealand tourism. Yeah. That we're looking to get. Australians will be flying in in their droves

to make buttholes of themselves in Queenstown sometime soon. And you've just mentioned it snowed. Yeah, so hopefully, yeah. Which is basically

burly to Australians. They'll be over for some of that good white stuff. Facebook's got a new feature and the feature will remind you to read an article before you share it with the horrific spread of misinformation in this time of

a pandemic and, you know, big elections and worldwide situations and polar opposites and conspiracy theories and everything like that. There is a new feature. If you're just going to share it to your timeline, a pop-up pops up and just says,

hey, have you read all of this? Is it sure? Are you sure you're on board with it? Is that the thing? People see a headline and they're like, oh, that's true. Yeah, I believe that. I'll share that to all my friends

who haven't even read it. Or if they see that Plandemic video, remember at the start of COVID-19, the Plandemic video, which was absolutely not based on any sort of fact and it kept getting deleted off YouTube because YouTube were like, none of this is true.

None of this has been fact-checked and it kept getting deleted. And people will just do. They share something. They might read the headline and be like, I'm on board. And then share it. And the headline was not with the rest of the article implied. But can you move on and just go, yes, I've read it?

Probably. Yeah. But hey, they've tried. But they try. Facebook tried. We tried our best. We can wipe our hands of this now. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Hey, I guess you could. We tried our best. We can wipe our hands of this now. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Hey, I guess you could say we tried our best. But you're on your own now, false information spreader. Good luck out there. But, yeah, so that is going to start soon. It's going to be rolling out on Android, first of all, which I would take as a slap in the face if I was an Android user. They're targeting you. They're targeting you as being the sort of person that shares

falsehoods. Yes, Jared, they were looking at you. Although you joked the other day that producer Jared was an anti-vaxxer and he started getting a bit of grief. Oh yeah, I do. You need to declare it. We should have said that was a joke. Yeah. You're not an anti-vaxxer? No, no, no. I love vaccines. The Facebook family, a couple of people accused you of being an anti-vaxxer.

It was just a joke, wasn't it? Yeah, I love vaccines. I hit my hands. You're a pro-vaxxer. You got all the vaccines. You actually even went up to Northland to try to get some of those leftover vaccines. Yep, I've been doubling up, getting two of everything. Yeah, you stole your grandma's.

You stole a dead old lady's identity to get an early vaccine, didn't you? Also got the HPV vaccine the other day. Yeah, good. Get that. Get one of vaccine. Also got the HPV vaccine the other day. Get that. Get one of those. Get all the vaccines. Did you read they accidentally gave a lady overseas six Pfizer vaccines? Yeah.

But she was all right, wasn't she? Yeah. I think they're waiting to see what happens. Yeah, maybe we could all get sick. She's super immune. Like super, super. Yeah. Like 110%.

I mean, like on the scale of being like one of the X-Men, it's pretty rubbish power, but she's... She's immune to me. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's free and Clinton to listen to? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app

or wherever you get your podcasts. And music lives here. ZM.