ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 12th November 2020

Episode Date: November 11, 2020

G-String Whoopsie!  The Wrong Exam!  Top 6: Ugg Boots  Vaughan's Anniversary Surprise!  Am I a Bad Person?  Vaughan's 10 Lessons  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleeche Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Download the Maccas app to get McCafe rewards today. And we should start the podcast with a notice. We will be away tomorrow, Friday and Monday, the 13th and whatever that is of November. 16th. The 16th. So the next podcast will be Tuesday the 17th for New Zealand listeners.

And that'll be on the 16th if you're in the Northern Hemisphere. And that other time zone. Over the date line. Around the globe-y bit. Yeah. Around the round. Around the round-y bit. Yeah.

Unless you're a flat earther, then I don't know how your time zones work. It's probably the same. Yeah. Yeah. And you're away for your wedding anniversary. You're going to Queenstown. Yep.

Queenstown. I'm going to get to see Milford. We're doing a plane flight. We're doing a flight. I've never even been. I've flown into Queenstown, but then when I'm there, I've never been airborne again. I've never been on a plane again.

Yeah, because I was thinking about doing that over summer because I haven't done Milford yet. It's like the one place in New Zealand I haven't really been. Yeah, no, neither. Beautiful. That and the summit of Mount Cook. But I don't think I'm going to bother I've flown over Mount Cook

That's enough Yeah that's You've seen it That's high That's high Yeah it is That looks tiring As well as very dangerous

Well skilled mountaineering Yeah Aside Or if you're a German Give it a go in sandals We'll rescue you later We'll Don't worry

We'll spend thousands And thousands of taxpayer dollars pulling you off even though there were plenty of signs telling you you shouldn't. We've got you. What are you going to do with the weekend off? I'm going to Nelson. That's where my family are. We haven't talked about the speech. It's okay. Because I wrote

the speech and I was like, it's not Michelle Obama. I don't know how inspiring it's going to be. I tried. Did that dawn on you that you're not Michelle Obama all Like, I'm not going to, I don't know how inspiring it's going to be, but yeah. I tried. Did that dawn on you that you're not Michelle Obama all of a sudden? Yeah, about 5pm yesterday.

That's it. So what have you gone for in the speech? What kind of rousing angles? Well, I just kind of like explained some things I've done in my career and then what I've learnt from it. Oh, yeah. Are we in your speech? Yeah. Yay!

Yay! Sadly, you're a large part of my career. Speech, speech, speech, speech. Sadly? Yeah. Well, I can't wait till you become a TikTok. I just, I cannot wait. No phones in assembly.

What are you doing for the weekend? Nothing. Bullshit. Absolutely nothing. Why am I giving you a ride to the airport then? Where are you flying to? I'm not telling you what I'm doing. It'll be out there in the ethos.

Star Wars. Me! Thanks, Ash. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fleech, Vaughn and Megan. I just had a thought listening to the news report there in the HelloFresh. Yeah. More cases. 20 people.

I know. Sick from that fish. What a great excuse for a day off work. I mean, I obviously wouldn't use that excuse because I've got a fantastic work ethic. But tonight my family and I will be having the fish dish. Does it count if you've been told all week and you're like I need a day off.

You waited till the last whistle. I'll eat the fish. Well they wouldn't know. Just tell the boss, oh we've just had the fish last night. We just heard the news this morning. Oh my gosh. I've got a rumbly tum. It's best I stay at home. They won't question it and you've just got

a free day off work make it a long weekend or if you're hungover and just send them a picture of your spew and they'll be like hello fresh

fish dish did this to me yeah this is going to take a while for them to live down huh I know god

that'd be your worst nightmare wouldn't it? Yeah. There'd be a few jasmine rice heavy dishes between now and everybody forgetting this whole thing happened. Yeah.

If I was one of those other food bags, because there's heaps of them, eh? Yeah, so many. I'd just do an advertising campaign, we won't poison you. And then, but then they won't know because they bulk order all there if they've got fish

in it as well. Yeah. Yeah, they don't want to put that out there just in case. Yeah, they'll be cursing themselves. Yeah, it's like airlines, eh? They never advertise, we're the safest, we haven't had a crash yet. Didn't Qantas used to do that? And then they had a series of very, very close calls.

Yeah. And I think they learnt just to keep their mouth shut on it. Yeah, you don't really brag about that kind of thing, do you? Nah. The top six is coming up on the show. Yeah, apparently Ugg boots will only be allowed to be, the only boots that will be allowed to be called Ugg boots will be official Ugg boots.

You can't say Ugg boot sale unless it is of the Ugg boot brand. Interesting. Yeah, so I've got the top six other names for Ugg boots. You can't say Ugg boot sale unless it is of the Ugg boot brand. Interesting. Yeah, so I've got the top six other names for Ugg boots. Sorry. I was about to say, what do we call them if we don't call them that? I don't know. Fluffy slippers? Fluffy boot slippers?

Fluffy booties. Well, Vaughn's got... Slip to the side when you wear them too much. Yeah, you've got to come up with six names. Well, I've got to come up with six new ones now because you guys have just rattled through about four of the ones I'm going to use.

Good, good. It's about time you worked hard. Test me on a Thursday. Don't make me work on a Thursday. Oh, my guts is all upset because of that fish. Oh, you better go home then. Well, I ate half last night.

I'm eating the other half tonight. Just make sure I'm off. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. make sure I'm off. This is another edition of What Is Wrong With People? And this one is in Auckland, New Zealand. A screenshot has been going around on social media

of someone who is on 8chan, an 8chan user. Oh, it's the worst place on the internet, isn't it? Lots of nefarious goings on on there. They say they were in the same restaurant as a confirmed case of COVID-19. They are now symptomatic and they're intending to deliberately spread the virus at exams being held today and Friday.

This has got to be rubbish, obviously. Well, they want to be a super spreader. They have identified ethnic, religious and rainbow communities as potential targets. What is wrong with people? So police are aware of the situation. The university is aware of the situation. They're taking it seriously, but they have said the risk is very low and there is no evidence to suggest that this is real.

And they're saying, look, it's really unfortunate that, I mean, it's already been a disruptive year that someone's trying to disrupt the exams like this. It actually says police is aware of the information. That's not right, is it? Police is aware. You'd say the university is aware. Police are aware.

But the police are like an establishment like the university. Oh, yeah. Oh, grammar, grammar. The police is aware. Grammar, grammar. Producers, what do you think? What's your bet?

It's always police is. Like whenever we get press releases and stuff, it's always New Zealand police is aware or is. But what if it's just police, the word police? Police is aware. Yeah. Really? Like a policewoman is aware.

But police is aware. It just sounds wrong though, eh? Because the university is aware. Yeah, that police are aware. That police is aware. No. That university is aware. That police is aware. No. No, it, the police are aware. The police is aware. No. The university is aware.

The police is aware. No. No, it's the police are aware. But then I don't know. We're not Juno-less, are we? Weird. Did you do a Google? Yeah, but every time I Google anything to do with grammar and police,

it's all like the grammar police. Okay. Police is aware. Because it's a whole establishment that you're talking about. The establishment is aware. A collective. A collective is aware. But I feel like we, like, I don't know, it just doesn't sound right. So let's just go the other way.

Police are aware. Yeah, even though it's probably incorrect. Yeah. So, I mean, there's nothing to say that this is real. It sounds like someone's playing silly buggers which is really unfortunate. Playing racist, homophobic, silly buggers.

Yes. We don't need that, do we? No. Alright. Still Googling? Nothing? Alright, well let's just leave it at that.

So be, nah, because it's just telling me I'm after the word, what I'm after is be. Please be aware. Oh no, don't know. But then that sounds like they need to be aware rather than they are in the current state of being aware.

Because B is the modern version of the old English is. Yeah. Do you want to bring the journalist? If you said to someone. Bring a journalist. No, we don't need a journalist. We need an English professor. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Are you saying that journalists are not? The ones here. I know. Sometimes they just like miss entire words. Oh, yeah. Or like headlines. I'm not saying that might not be their fault.

Yeah, right. Well, they're in a rush, aren't they? They're in a rush. They've got to get the stories out. But maybe this is a police. But if I said to you in a conversation, police is aware that you'd be like, what to you in a conversation, police is aware that the, you'd be like,

what? Well, I know the police are aware. Okay. All right. Next on the show, there is, as you know,

a lot. The police unit is aware. Yeah. it would be fine to say the police unit is aware. Yeah, because they're unit. But technically just saying police,

they are a unit. The police station is aware. Okay. The specific, is aware. Okay. The specific... I think it's because we are used to perhaps using police as... The armed offender squad

is aware. Yes. But that's not one. Okay. That's multiple. We'll get back to you on this one. ZM's Fletch,

Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. So somebody's done the number crunching on this.. ZM's Fletch Warner-Megan, the podcast. So somebody's done the number crunching on this, but since the Adam Sandler movie, The Ridiculous Six, premiered in 2015 on Netflix, Netflix customers

have spent over two billion hours watching Adam Sandler films. Good lord. Think about that for a second. Two billion hours. Now, I don't know, I don't even know if this is just America. Because Netflix are very,

always very cagey about like their, until they brought up, you know, the top 10 New Zealand viewing lists, very cagey about kind of stats on any kind of show right did they have old school adam sandler movies on there they do way they do yeah so he signed a deal with them years ago a multi-movie deal so anything that was in the happy madison production so you're talking billy madison happy gilmore well i think i's a deal to do new movies with him. Oh, yeah, yeah. But did they get his old ones as well, his back catalogue?

He's done 64 movies. Good Lord. Which is a lot, right? A lot of terrible movies. I also haven't seen, was it Uncut Gems? Oh, that is good. Yeah. That is really good. But he's done some good, in the mix, there's some good Adam Sandler films.

You go back, you get your classics. Oh, Happy Gilmore. Happy Gilmore, Billy Madison. Wedding Crash. Oh, yeah, Wedding Singer. mix there's some good adam sandler films you go back yeah classics oh happy gilmore happy gilmore billy madison wedding crash oh yeah wedding singer uh little nicky depending if what does your face look like that for i just googled his net worth oh it'd be phenomenal phenomenal 420 million yeah oh wait he still wears those shorts i know he wears shorts and i have his hockey shirts that's so awesome, I reckon. So, I don't know. I've seen the trailer on Netflix for it, and it looks god awful.

Hubie Halloween. Oh, yeah, that just looks horrible. Oh, but all the, like, Christmas, all the seasonal movies on Netflix look awful, but you just watch them. Well, Netflix have revealed that that is their highest ranking original movie for the year in the USA. That movie. Wow. Didn't that Chris Hemsworth come out this year?

Yeah. Did it? Yeah, it's hard to tell. January, February. That was a great one, yeah. So I just worked out 2 billion hours is 228,000 years. I know,

ridiculous, right? So next time you see an Adam Sandler movie on Netflix, just know that people watch that. And you're like, we thought he was getting paid a stupid amount of money to make those movies, but two billion. Two billion hours. I mean, let's be honest, I'd make a really bad

movie if I could end up with $420 million. Who's laughing now? Well, we are because some of his movies are funny. But then he is because of how rich he is. Yeah. Oh, the Sandman. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan.

The Podcast. ZM. A woman has revealed that a G-string almost killed her. She was wearing, she obviously only wears Gs. Okay. And after weeks of wearing them, she said she was feeling a little bit of pain down there. And she went on a plane ride home and she kept moving

like she had hemorrhoids or something. And she got home and she asked her mum to have a look. They couldn't see much, but it looked a little bit red. So she's like, well, if it's that uncomfortable, you need to go to the doctor. Now, what the doctor found further down was an abscess, which had been infected due to just a tiny little cut. So she says she remembers the moment it happened.

She just pulled her pants up and accidentally grabbed the G at the same time and gave herself essentially a wedgie. Right. And she was like, ow, little pinch. And that would have been the cut that has caused an abscess. Now, the doctor said it's so lucky that you came in because this can kill you. It can get infected. An anal abscess. Yeah.

Well, it's a particularly grubby area of the body that can lead to infection, can't it? So yeah, they literally had to deal with that and she said they pushed a whole lot of six feet of gauze into her new butthole. So just be aware. Wow. Six foot of gauze. Maybe that's

an exaggeration, but a lot of gauze. That's me as gauze. I think maybe that's an exaggeration, but a lot of gauze. That's me as gauze. Yeah. With a couple inches hanging out. And then I saw a thing yesterday saying 2020, the year that the G-string died, and I was like, mm. I thought we were well past it.

I've not had a lot of time. I got hit in the face with one. I made a stag do it. It was not an eye. It hit me in the eye. Well, like they flinged it like a rubber band yeah

okay and it hit me in the eye and two things immediately I was like oh that hurt and then yuck yeah that's been touching

someone's butthole and now it's in my eye and I'm going to get conjunctivitis and I'm going to have to explain this not sexy at all no

no yuck I'd have never liked them g-strings. On other people or yourself. Or on myself personally. Because they must be very uncomfortable. Like what's the point of wearing them if you're wearing jeans, for example? The string ones, I've never worn the string ones.

But if you get like a thicker one, it doesn't actually go up your butthole. It sits on top of. On the butthole, right. And then you don't get like a VPL. Right. But here's the thing. This year already we've seen Kim Kardashian and Beyonce wearing in vogue the whale tail. So this is where you can see the top of the G string from your dress or your pants.

And it looks like a whale going back into the ocean. Like a whale fluke. That's where the name comes from. Yeah. It was a big look in the early 2000s. Yeah. Yeah. Huge look.

And in Givenchy's latest runway show, they were showing their Gs up above their dresses. Oh, no. Some sort of a fashion statement. If they're all doing it, that means we're going to be all doing it. Wait for the influences. We, yeah.

It'll start happening. Yeah. Remember when you were a kid and you'd get a blade of grass and you'd put it between your two thumbs and you'd blow it and it'd go, whee! That sound will be back. Well, especially if the wind gets up. Yeah, it'll be like, bzzz.

Yeah. Whee! Bzzz. Whee! You don't want to be walking down Lambton Cave with a big Wellington wind. Yeah. And all of a sudden you start whistling. It's just not...

Yeah, no, I'm not a fan. You're not going to do that then? Nah. We're actively encouraging people not to participate in the G. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. This happened at Auckland's Western Springs College and it actually sounds like quite a glowing review of the college, really. Okay.

I mean, apart from the initial whoopsie daisies. So the year 12 class, there were 17 of them. They were supposed to get a level two digital technologies common assessment task. Oh, okay. Computers. Computers. Computers. Okay.

But they were given level three instead. Which would be harder. Yeah. Okay. It was electronically loaded and it was just given to the students. Now they say the students didn't notice, the teachers didn't notice, the IT technician didn't even notice. And they only noticed once it had all been finished.

But apparently the students didn't even find it too hard. So that's where the – Oh Oh sweet then. What would you just keep that then? Keep your results and skip it next year. Yeah. But if you did alright in level three you'd be like well I absolutely need like excellence or whatever in

that exam because it was already harder than it was supposed to be. So will they make them do it again but level two? Or just keep level three? They were worried that they were going to have to sit it again and that their grades would be lower than they should be. But it doesn't seem like they're going to have to sit it again. So they're just going to be given level three credits.

So they're just like, you can take next year off. Yeah, so you could. You could do something different next year. Just chill. But that's what I mean. Pretty glowing endorsement for the school, though, that they managed to teach them well enough to do the year above's exam.

That would be my absolute nightmare. I would have been the only one in the class to be like, I don't understand anything in here. I don't remember learning this. Do you guys remember learning? Do you have the answer for this one? They're like, we're literally in a digital class.

Why don't you just message us? On Messenger. I'd be like, I don't know how to connect to the internet. Do you have the Wi-Fi password? And then your sound would be on when you get the message. I think I'm going to fail. Email me what you're getting. Don't email me.

I forgot my email password. I didn't reset it when they asked me to. Fletchvorna Megan, the podcast. ZM. From the oily ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there. Our boots, as described by the Wikipedia article, are a unisex style of sheepskin boot originating in Australia.

The boots are typically made of twin-faced sheepskin with fleece on the inside, a tanned outer surface, and a thinsetic, thinsetic thole. Thinsetic thole. Thinsetic thole. The term Ugg boots originated in Australia initially for utilitarian footwear worn for warmth and which were often worn by surfers during the 1960s.

Oh. Then they were introduced to the surf culture of the UK and the US. Sheepskin boots became a fashion trend in the late 90s and a worldwide trend in mid-2000s. In Australia, they're worn prominently as slippers and often are sat in with daggy fashion sense in the Bogan culture. Wow. What a succinct summary of the UGG boot.

Does UGG stand for something? Because it's UGG. UGG. UGG. The term UGG is also unclear. Stedman registered the trademark UGG boots, UGH boots, in 71 and in 1982 registered UGG trademark, but not UGG. And there's been a fight with an Australian UGG boot maker and the company UGG in America, and he's lost to them.

I wonder if it was the dude that registered the trademark, though, because he did it UGH, so of course he wouldn't have the trademark for UGG. And there is a company that makes them called UGG boots. Yeah, right. So apparently in Australia and New Zealand you can call them Ugg Boots, but not anywhere else. Right. And this guy, there's a guy

that was taken to court by Ugg in Chicago and lost. Had to pay them like hundreds of thousands of dollars. He's called on the Australian Prime Minister to back this up and to save the UGG. Right. Because EMU make them. Yeah.

And it accounts for 10% of footwear production in Australia. Wow. The UGG. And apparently, okay, I've found more. Frank Mortel claims he made a pair in the 50s based on what fighter pilots wore in World War II. Okay. Because they went to such high altitudes and the planes were like, you know, old. Yeah.

Giraffe do that to stay warm. So they wore the sheep's lined jackets and also the boots. And his wife said, geez, those are Ugg. Meaning ugly. That's where he says that's why it's called Ugg. Because they're ugly. That's his story of it. Yeah, right.

Yeah. So I've got the top six other names for Ugg boots, if you can't call them Ugg boots. Yeah. Number six, the Dunedin Dairy Dashers. You just chuck them on and then nip down the dairy. Mind you, if you're living in your standard Dunedin non-insulated flat, you probably need them on all the time.

You probably need to sleep in them. Yeah. God, people would sleep in them. They probably would, yeah. They would. Number five on the list of the top six new names for Ugg boots

if you can't say Ugg anymore is the not as waterproof as you think boots. You think you'd be able to walk through a little bit of water because they've got a thick rubber sole on them,

but that water will splash right up and just seep on in and they'll be wet for days. Number four on the list is of the names for Ugg boots, if you can't say Ugg anymore, the West Auckland supermarket slippers. Pop them on, nip down the supermarket. Classic.

And the soles always a bit. Yeah, always on the way out, which takes us on to number three on the list of the top six. That's why I had to move them on, because I was about to poo-poo all over it. Top six new names for Ugg boots, the Leanie Annie worn down sole boots. Yeah, because that happens, don't they?

They get the Leanie. They lean in on the sole. Yes. I've never seen them lean outwards. I always thought it was because, you know, people are like, oh, it all depends on where the weight of your foot sits,

but you never sit on the out. But it's how you scuff your foot when you walk, isn't it? Yeah, you've got an outward lean or an inward lean. I've never seen an outward lean, though. It's always the inward. Oh, really? They're good for your calves, though, either way, wouldn't it? It would be terrible for your ankles.

Having your foot uneven. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six new names for Ugg boots, if they can't use Ugg, the Hamilton Honey Magnets. Chuck those on Hamilton, you're going to have all the honeys. Really? Oh, all the honeys.

Did you get all the honeys? I never had a pair. Right. That's why I didn't get all the honeys. Yeah, that's the only reason. That'll be it. And number one on the list of the top six new names for Ugg boots, if you can't call them Ugg anymore, the Sweaty AF Feet Boots.

Yeah. Your feet get so sweaty so quick. Clammy. And it makes the slippers so you shouldn't have to put a sock on to put your foot in it, but you've kind of got to. Otherwise it gets so... Bit manky. So sweaty.

And then the wool's like yellowy brown, and that sheep wasn't a yellowy brown sheep. That was a white sheep. Yeah. Yucky. That's today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A couple of minutes away from our surprise for Vaughan, his 10-year wedding anniversary.

It's tomorrow. So we'll reveal this in a couple of minutes' time. Your wee gift. Cool. From us. Don't sound like, don't be ungrateful. I'm not. I'm not yet.

Lots of people pay for this. Pay a lot of money for this. Okay. People pay money for this. Okay. People pay money for dumb stuff too. Gucci handbags. All right. Take that back. So you two love a big breakfast.

In fact, Fletch. What? You are classic for saying this. You have like a light omelette dinner. Yeah, I always have that. Sometimes I have an omelette dinner. Yeah, I love an omelette. Anelette dinner. Yeah, I always have that. Sometimes I have an omelette dinner. Yeah, I love an omelette. An eggy dinner. Yeah, an eggy dinner. But when would you eat your biggest meal of the day?

Probably lunchtime. Right. And why do you do that? But if it's a weekend, I love a big breakfast, like, because then I won't be hungry for, like, till dinner. Oh, I'll have a light lunch. It's good. And like a hotel buffet. Oh, when we go some places to work, hey, you bloody love a big...

Are the hotel buffets back? Yeah, they are. Okay. Yeah, they are. I just love big meals. And breakfast is a meal, so this... Yeah.

I would love a big meal. But going out to like for a cafe breakfast, love a big breakfast. I always get a big breakfast. I feel like you're about to come for us with the big breakfast.

Yeah, I am. Okay. So big breakfast, I always get a big breakfast. I feel like you're about to come for us with the big breakfast. Yeah, I am. Okay. So big breakfast, there's absolutely no benefit for your health to have a big breakfast. Not specifically, like, I'm not talking like a big breakfast is in sausages and bacon and eggs. Right, just having a lot of breakfast. A large breakfast, yeah. So if you're under the opinion that you should eat, you know, lots of calories in the morning, less at lunch, and then a small dinner because that will affect your weight, that's not true at all.

Yeah, I was under no illusion to think it was healthy to just bog myself down at the start of the day. It's just yum. Eggs and bacon and beans and toast and all that. Is it better? I would have thought it would have been better just to have a series of light meals throughout the day. It's just yum. With eggs and bacon and beans and toast and all that. Is it better? I would have thought it would have been better just to have a series of light meals throughout the day. It's like they talk about your metabolism's like a fire, right?

If you chuck heaps of smaller sticks on, it'll burn hot. But if you chuck a big log on, it'll burn big and bright. It could smolder out. It's not already rocking. So there was a study that was done, and they did two different controls. So people who ate small amounts during the day and people who ate the big amounts, like a triangle, and they got less during the day.

It made absolutely no difference to their weight loss. No impact. It was about the calories that they ate during the day. Right. In total. What about, yeah, okay. What about, and it's a, my family's shocking because we all complain about how, oh, I'm struggling to lose weight, but we have this massive meal at the end of

the day. Like, growing up, dinner was huge. Yeah. It's a Kiwi thing. Like, a lot of countries change that around. Yeah. Like, what is it? The Spanish?

Big lunch. Siesta. Oh, yeah. They love an afternoon cup. They have a nap and then they get up and do some stuff. Germans like bread, cheese and salamis and stuff for breakfast and then a massive lunch and then like, oh, dinner is just like a sandwich or if you want something. That's hard to get your head around because we're so used to like a hot cooked big meal.

But then this is saying that it doesn't matter what you're, it's just more. It doesn't matter the hours of the day. So it's total calories intake. So it's like my fitness power. You get to the end of the day and you've only got 50 calories left. You're like, I guess I'll have two big breaths for dinner. Chocker full. You know what?

I might have a sneaky pud. Yeah, that was a good breath. A breath pud. Ah, breath. Can't get enough of my breaths. Right, okay. So, okay, just eat across the day. I guess that's that old chestnut moderation.

Everything in moderation. Alright, next on the show, it's Vaughan's 10 year wedding anniversary tomorrow. So we have organised a little gift for Vaughan. A gift that people pay good money for. Okay, yeah. And this could help people listening too. Great.

Who are in like a long-term relationship or a... Right. What do you call it? But it's not their day, it's my gift. I don't want to share it. Fleshvaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Because it is Smithy

I'll make Smithy's 10 year anniversary on Friday 10 years married We have a present for you Can you stop eating your porridge? I want the sort of present that I can enjoy while also eating my breakfast

Oh you kind of could You might not want to Why did you say it like that? This is a gift from Fletch and I to you for your anniversary. We are joined on the show by a friend of ours and sexologist, Morgan Penn. Good morning. Good morning.

Surprise, Morgan. Excuse me. No, that wasn't a oh. I love Morgan. We always have a good laugh. But I also know what her number one piece of advice on me constantly is. I don't think it's fit for broadcast. And that's why we wanted to get Morgan on, because tomorrow is your 10-year wedding anniversary,

and that's why we won't be here tomorrow, because you're going away for the weekend. Sexy. And how many years before you got married were you with Sade? Six. Six. So you've been together. 16. Yeah, I know.

My God. That's half my life. So how do you. Bitch, you've been together. Sixteen. Yeah, I know. My God. That's half my life. So how do you. Bitch, you need to work on your maths. So how do you spice up a relationship after 16 years? Not saying that you have to or that there's anything wrong because obviously it's working really well. But you also call yourself vanilla quite a lot. You like to be a bit vanilla.

French vanilla. Right. That's where I put on my accent, but we still just do it basically missionary. So that is why we've got Morgan, sexologist, on the show. Morgan, what should people do? What should Vaughn be doing after 16 years? Well, the thing is, you know, hot sex is effortless during the honeymoon phase, as

I'm sure born would know. You know, because we've got the endorphins, we've got oxytocin, you know, which is the love hormone. But inevitably it does. It just all sort of trickles away, especially after 16 years, potentially. I don't know if there's been a trickling. It's been a...

Yeah, I don't feel like there's been a trickling. It's been a... Yeah, I don't feel like there's been a trickling. I mean, it's not honeymoon period like you said, but... Nell Smithy's still got a few tricks up his sleeve. That's good. That's good.

I thought that I could give you a few more tricks for your weekend away, if you like. Well, I'm keen to hear these. To learn a new trick. Also, are they going to empty the onsen hot pool after this?

Oh, not in the hot pool. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not ready for that. That's your 20th wedding anniversary. Not ready for aquatic sports yet. That's also, if I'm wrong, Morgan, that's also not the healthiest place to have sex.

A spa. No, it's not. We don't want to be pushing things inside our offices that have potentially got warm water or different kind of bacteria in it. So you're right. You're very smart. So maybe out of the pool, you could

play Would You Rather, which I'm sure you're pretty familiar with this game, right? Yes. But we're going to put a sexy twist on it. so we make all the questions sort of sex related for example would you rather have me kiss your neck or your ear and then the person answers and then you do it and then it's their turn that's cute that is pretty cute they can start pretty tame you know at the beginning and they like work up to getting more hot and heavy do you want to practice it with this come on not particularly no like would you rather um

you use the air and the neck one. Would you rather a back rub or a foot rub? Nice. Yeah. Good start. Intro. I just wanted to keep it generally quite PG. Yeah, okay.

Yeah. Good opener. Good opener. Good opener. Okay. So then what I thought you guys could do over the weekend as well is come up with a sex bucket list. So together you come up with like specific sexual experiences that you want to share together that you haven't done. I mean, this is like a little bit nerdy, but I thought this would be a little bit up your alley.

So you can actually create a shared Google Doc and you can set it to notify, like, the other person when one of you adds to the list. Wow. That's quite, I like that. I'm just worried I'd accidentally share that Google Doc with my working professional colleagues. Various outlets. Yeah, because we do use Google Docs and grids, don't we?

Yeah, we do. I don't want to find out that Vaughn wants something somewhere. Yeah. Reg gets a notification. He's like, oh, when do you want to do that? 10 to 7? Wow. That's actually a really good idea because I know some couples do use a shared calendar

if they're booking events. Yeah. And that's just a step further, isn't it? Yeah. And what's cool about this is it can go on for months or years. You could be doing something so boring and you get a little notification and your partner's somewhere else in the country or somewhere else in the house. And you're like, oh my God, that person's thinking about that

while they're watching the gospel channel. Well, that's Sunday mornings. Over the weekend, Sunday mornings, a lot of praise be. Not a lot on. Right. Okay, and what else? Anything else to spice up the weekend? Yes, what I thought was you can bring a different energy to the bedroom.

So, like, say, Vaughan, you know, you're very dominant, you know. You can try taking the back seat for once because, like, polarity is really important in terms of keeping things spicy and different so um i've got a game that i play with my clients and it's called the boss so you get to be one person gets to be the boss for a day and you tell the other person exactly what to do like what you want and um yeah it plays into a little bit of the domination submission dynamic. And so you can decide if you're going to do it whole day, if you're going to do it, like, in theme, like, out of the bedroom or just in the bedroom.

You can make the rules on it, but it's quite interesting if you are more of the submissive taking on the dominant for the day. Okay. Vaughan's gone very quiet. Good, no, yeah, yeah. I can understand what you're saying there. Change things up. Would you say you're the dominant or the submissive?

I don't know. I'm all about equality, you know? I don't know. Never thought about it. I'm the one that's always asking, what's that one? The asker and the permission granter. I'm definitely the asker. Yeah, right. Okay. Change it up this weekend. Change it up. I think that's as PG as we can go, isn't it, Morgan? Yeah. The other ones, I'll text to you. Okay.

Morgan did say that she'd got you a gift, but she's unable to come in. Oh, goodness me. Yes, I do. So I'll wrap it up for Christmas. Please clearly label it so I don't open it in front of the family on Christmas morning. Morgan underscore good tips yeah Morgan underscore Penn

two N's on Instagram if you'd like to follow Morgan always posting amazing stories and insights and advice Morgan Penn

thank you so much thank you guys and have a very pleasure filled weekend well thank you we'll all be thinking of you that's me don't be

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Well, I said a cold case has been solved in central Otago. Uh-huh. A case of a woman on a motorised chilli bin. DUI. Which is a cold case. Yes. See what I did there?

I like it. So this happened, and this was actually in the news in, I believe, August. Mid-August. She must have been charged. But she's had her day in court. Okay. A woman called Anna, who is 40, Alexandria District Court yesterday. A judge heard the second case of this type.

By her. Of a DUI motorized chili bin. And he is asked if this is a central Otago problem. Nah, I just don't think they bother pulling them over in West Auckland anymore. How fast do those things go? Well, so, um,

yeah, so she faced a charge of drink driving and appeared before the court. Now, she drove the motorized chili bin with an excess breath alcohol of 894 micrograms. The legal limit is 250. Wow. Apparently, it was birthday celebrations, which proves her undoing. She was seen by police riding the chili bin on the roadside next to the curb on Alexandra's Clutha Street.

Now, she was instantly disqualified from driving for 28 days. And yeah, basically only going, she went 100 metres and only travelling 5 to 10 kilometres an hour. So the judge took into consideration that she had no previous convictions and would also need to drive for her

job. The level of alcohol should not be downplayed, but she was discharged without conviction and disqualified for a further month and was ordered to pay a donation to a charity. Her escapade comes after another guy was convicted of a similar

offending and Cromwell, $700, after he appeared in the Alexandra District Court. What? Same chili bin? It doesn't say. That's what I wondered, if it was the same chili bin. It doesn't say. You've got to stop taking your chili bin to parties, Steve.

You're getting everybody massive fines. What's the, like, law around nothing motorised? Is that it? Yeah, because people get done DUI on, like, right on lawnmowers. But that's got blades. But can you get done on a bicycle as well? And a horse? I don't know.

There's a lot of, like, I remember that big thing about horses a while ago, but then it was all. What was the big thing that you can't get? That people got done on horses. Oh, right. Got done DUI on horses, but then people were like, well, you're not driving at the horses. There's no way I would ride a horse drunk.

Like, I'd just fall off. What about all these vineyard bicycle tours? You can't tell me that people are under the limit on most of those. Yeah. Those four-person ones, we hired one when we went to Martinborough. Yeah. And, like, so everybody's peddling.

Yeah. And then someone's staring at the front. You're driving them on the road. Yeah. And you're not stopping at a bloody lovely Martinborough vineyard for a glass of water, are you? No. That's what I wonder if it's –

I wondered about that when we were clocking 40Ks downhill on the road into town. I was like, we probably shouldn't be on this road. But yeah, could we get in trouble? And I don't want to encourage that, but she's going like 5 to 10 k's on a chili bin. Like she'd bump into you, right? Yeah, I mean the only person she's putting in danger is really herself. Yeah.

But yeah, just, I mean, if you've got a motorised, if you've got a motorised chilli bin or a motorised anything and you're three or four times over the limit. No drinking and driving. Yeah, no. Stay clear of that. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Am I a bad person?

This is your opportunity to get your judgy pants on. Someone, an anonymous person, has written in with a conundrum and we basically get to decide if they're a bad person or not. Okay. And it's wedding related. It is. Dramas. Okay.

Hey, guys. Hi. No, I'm reading the email. Yeah, I'm replying. Oh, okay. I don't need you to reply to anonymous. I have a situation for am I a bad person. My friend had to postpone her wedding due to

COVID. Those Dalmatians, eh? Croatians move here, delay weddings. Due to COVID, which sucks, but now that it's back on, I have noticed that a few details have changed. I got married at the start of the year.

I snuck in before we knew what COVID was. And now that she is back to planning her wedding, I've noticed that there are some familiar things from my wedding. The bridesmaid's dresses are the same. From the same place, but in a slightly

different pink. Her flowers are now the same as mine. In fact, she wasn't even going to have flowers. She was going to have mainly foliage. And her favours are these custom made cookies from the same place as us. I am so happy that she...

I'm so happy that she gets to finally marry her best friend but I'm a little gutted she didn't ask me if she could have the same bridesmaid's dresses at least. Help. Now I just feel like I'm a bad person for thinking this way, but it's upset me that so many things have been taken from our special day.

How many people were at both though? I don't know. And just make sure you tell everybody at the wedding. It doesn't sound like she's a bridesmaid. No, it doesn't. So like, how close are they? She's just salty that everything's been copied. Yeah.

But at the same time, you don't own you don't own cookies. You don't own cookies and dresses and themes. But if your friend gets bridesmaids dresses from the same place and then is copying your flowers you're going to start to be like this is weird. This is weird.

To have so many things that are the same. You don't know why they would want that to be the same. The only thing I can think of is maybe they're not that close. So there won't be that many similar people at the wedding. The guest list won't overlap. Yeah, because otherwise the guests would be like, oh, this is the same as similar to yours, right?

Yeah. And you wouldn't want to be seen to be copying if they were the same guests. An overlap. But she's right, though, because you should be happy that your friend has managed to get married. Well, how would you feel? Like, you had a lovely wedding.

Yeah. What would you do if your friend ripped off heaps of it? It's hard, though, because in this situation, I'm like, well, okay, yeah, I mean, it's been a rough year. Cool that you finally managed to pull off the wedding. But like in the back of your mind you'd be like,

just pick something else. Just because there's a million different things you can have, just pick something else. I wouldn't even notice. No, neither. I'd just be like,

mmm, yum, food, cookies. But then like when you're there and you're having a good time you're not gonna worry about it, are you? Yeah, but girls get a bit like this with these things, don't they? They do. Guys, like us

guys don't care. We're just like, oh. Like I went to a wedding and they were wearing black suits or navy suits as well. Oh, no. I know. Unbelievable. You don't understand. How dare they? How dare they wear suits as well. But they weren't wearing pants, were they? No, they weren't wearing pants were they No they weren't wearing pants

And Those sons of I know I know Yeah Okay You don't understand We do

It's not a big deal Oh no okay Is it because so much time Goes into planning it Yeah That you're like Oh they've just shortcutted it Cutted it

Shortcut it Compared to all the hard work I put in Yeah So they just pinched that But I mean you do So much work into making it Your own like shortcut it compared to all the hard work I put in. Yeah. So they just pinched that. But I mean, you do so much work into making it your own creative thing. Okay, well, we want to know what you think.

0800 Giles at M. Give us a call right now. That's our number. You can text 9696. Is she a bad person? Her friend has copied her wedding and she's not happy about it. Oh, wait, so I thought we were saying

is the friend a bad person for copying her wedding thing? No, is she a bad person? Is she a bad person for being salty about the copying? Yeah. Gotcha. Does it make a difference? Also, who can afford like, oh, we've had to delay our wedding because that's going to cost you money.

You're not going to get all your money back on that. While I'm at it, I might also change the bridesmaid's dresses. All right, 0800-DARLS.M, tell us what you think. You're not going to get all your money back on that. While I'm at it, I might also change the bridesmaid's dresses. Alright, 0800DARLS.NM, tell us what you think. Want the best start for your child? Visit Ficino School. Now we still have a truck breakdown near Burger King, Mount Wellington Highway, blocking the left-hand lane eastbound. The southern congested from Drury right through to Green Lane pretty much. The northern traffic is really slow from Otiha Valley through to the Harbour Bridge.

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Download the Maccas app to get McCafe rewards today. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. 13 minutes away from eight, so am I a bad person? Okay, so the friend is getting married now that, you know, COVID's calmed down a wee bit in New Zealand. This girl got married at the start of the year and she's noticed that some things have been changed to be the same. Bridesmaids' dresses, the favours and the flowers are now the same.

Because I knew a couple of girls that went, they showed each other their designs for their cakes. And that ended up in a big fight because they were too similar. I don't even remember a wedding cake. I remember the taste of it in my mouth. I remember a cake. I always remember a cake. Yeah, but it's white, right?

And it's multi-layered. That's as far as it goes for me. No details. I can't remember the frilly bits on the side or the things on the top. Yeah, as soon as I've got a mouthful of fruit No details. Yeah. I can't remember the frilly bits on the side or the things on the top. Yeah, as soon as I've got a mouthful of fruitcake though. Yeah.

I guess it's like you're showing someone your plans and then they've just ripped them off, you know, a little bit. But you said they,

your friends that, you knew they had a fight. It sounds like they both just showed each other at the same time and they were just too similar. So maybe that's why they're friends.

It's like, yeah, it's like they were friends and they were just too similar. So maybe that's why they're friends? It's like, yeah. It's like they were friends and they had common tastes. And then, yeah. So is she a bad person? For basically... She feels bad about feeling that way

given that her friend is getting the chance to get married, period. Delwyn, what do you think? Is she a bad person? I think she is a little bit, yeah. Okay. I think she should be maybe flattered at the worst part of me. Her friend knows where these items are because of seeing them at the wedding.

They're the similar dress, OMG. Yeah. And as I said to your producer, she didn't get a copyright on it, did she? Exactly. It's not similar dress, the same dress. It's the same dress. But a different colour. Slightly different pink.

Am I a bad person? Okay, so this person got married at the start of the year before COVID. Her friend had to postpone and now the wedding is back on. But things have slightly changed and she's noticed that the bridesmaid's dresses are the same from the same place. And it's slightly different pink she's noticed that the bridesmaids' dresses are the same from the same place and a slightly different pink. Her flowers are the same and she's also getting custom-made cookies the same as theirs. So she's feeling a little miffed

but the question is, now she feels like a bad person for thinking that way. Is she? Should she just be happy that her friend's getting married? Jamie, what do you reckon? Not really. Yeah, a little bit salty but my thing is, sister, you reckon? Not really. Like, yeah, a little bit salty.

But my thing is, sister, you had your wedding first. So it doesn't matter. Yeah. So everyone knows that she's copying anyway. Exactly. Who cares? Yeah, anybody that knows, knows. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Yeah. Yeah, for sure. But there is a kind of salty situation where, because it's so close, you know, as Anonymous had her wedding at the beginning of the year, maybe in a couple of years' time had she had done this, would she still feel the same? Probably not. Yeah, I'd say yes.

Just looking at Megan's face then, yes. Hey, thanks you, Cole. Samantha, what do you think? Is she a bad person? I don't think she's a bad person at all. I'm getting married in March, and if somebody did that to me, I would be horrified and so mad.

But you don't own, like, wedding cake designs and flowers. Yeah, but you're acting like there's one wedding cake. There is a million wedding cakes. There's a million bridesmaids' dresses. And you put so much thought and effort into organising it for yourself, and then seeing someone just kind of copy aspects of that, of your special day, I don't like it at all. It's lazy.

Yeah, exactly. That lazy. Okay. I like your honesty, Samantha. Okay. All right, Samantha. Text messages. What do you think people are...

Come on, girl. Focus on being grateful, not spiteful. You had your day. Now it's time to let someone else have theirs. She's not trying to take the wedding away from her. She's so happy for her. Not a bad person. It's one thing to take the wedding away from her. She's so happy for her. Not a bad person. It's one thing to feel something would be a different way

if she'd acted on those feelings. Wedding's a super special day, so I can understand the feeling that she has there regarding that. I mean, she can feel however she wants to feel, but you're not going to turn around and ruin it for your friend, are you? Yeah. Someone said, bad person. I'd be honoured if someone liked my wedding so much

they wanted to copy stuff. I'll get more pissed that they didn't buy the stuff off me because once you're done with it at your wedding, you're just stuck with it. Yeah, true. Somebody said, I would gladly go along to a wedding and tell every guest with an air shot that we had the same thing at our wedding

and she obviously really liked it when she came to ours. That's the same person who likes when the groomsman says something really inappropriate in the groomsman's speech. Someone said, sounds to me like an uncreative lazy thinker. Oh yeah. This might make her feel better. There's one that says, my brother-in-law got married.

They used the same venue, the same ceremony spot, the same bridesmaids' dresses, same photographer, and the same catering. It was weird, and I felt like I was at my own wedding again. Yeah, that would be weird. Yeah.

But they didn't say it was bad. Like, if you've got a completely different audience and no crossover with guests, sure, rip it off. Yeah. But there was definitely a crossover there. If you had to say, give a percentage,

what would you say, Vaughan, text message wise? Like 60-40 bad? Okay. Quite a few people are saying, yeah, it's not great, it's uncreative. Yeah, right, okay. So, tread lightly, sleep with one eye open, and get your own bloody wedding cake. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. And tomorrow, as we mentioned before, is my 10th wedding anniversary.

And so because that's 10 years, I was told to make 10 lessons of what I've learned from 10 years of marriage. Because that's quite a feat. I haven't managed. I had one attempt. I'm on my second attempt. But if you add those attempts together, that's pretty good. Yeah, nothing on 10 years though. Mm. Mm.

I don't know, I don't know. You must be doing something right. It's flowing by. Yeah. Congratulations, by the way. We've been having a laugh, I don't think, so congratulations. Oh, thanks. It's a weird thing To be congratulated on

Just living your life Yeah But anyway No it is good I'm stoked So should I just do The 10 lessons What are you

What are you doing For your anniversary You're going away aren't you We're going to Queenstown Yep Last night we did this thing Where we sat down And decided all the things

We're going to eat Which is maybe the secret To how we've lasted Because we are both We both love to eat, which is maybe the secret to how we've lasted because we both love to eat. Yeah. Big eating fans. Yeah. We saw a couple of restaurants that had oysters,

so we were like, we're in because we love them too. Yeah. Okay. But yeah, we're going to do lots of eating in Queenstown and probably just go to bed. I was about to say that doesn't, you get too full and then you roll back to the hotel and you're like.

Tomorrow night I'll be like wrapping things up to head home to watch episode three of The Mandalorian and you know, so is romance.

Yeah. But these are the top ten lessons. Okay. Okay. I've learnt from ten years of marriage. Okay.

Number ten, you don't have to listen to the whole story. Get the start and the end and some key points and some names that are mentioned, and you'll be all right. And then just, what, repeat back the odd little name or fact? Yeah.

And it makes it sound like you were listening. Yes. Okay. You're like, ah. Like that every now and then. I feel like that happens to me. So you can't take them all on board. And this works both ways as well.

She does this to me all the time. She'll just let me talk and then she'll realise there's a period of silence and she'll be like, oh, really? Like that. Number nine of the top ten lessons I've learnt from ten years of marriage. However you're attempting to clean that, you're not going to be cleaning it right. So don't do a great job first time round because you'll be doing it again following the instructions. The oven.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, oh, you've not. No. Oh. The bathroom. You've not done that right. So just do a shit job.

And then next time when you're told what you could have done better, then you can just do that. Okay. Number eight on the list of the top ten lessons I've learned from ten years of marriage. Some things are just invisible to the naked male eye. You can look and look and look, but you'll never see them. It'll take your wife saying, look it's right there

for it to magically appear. You'll never see it. So the quicker you ask do we actually have any olive oil? You'll see the olive oil. It just drains me because you say you look and then you have to walk across the whole room and you're like, it's there. I wonder how many times you've

got the olive oil. If we can continue along the olive oil thing, you're like, where's the olive oil? And they walk and they're like, it's there, it's right there. I wonder how many times you've got the olive oil. If we can continue along the olive oil thing, you're like, where's the olive oil? And they walk and they're like, it's right here. And they put it right where they say it was.

Just a way for them to assert their dominance. Yes. And make you think you need them. Yes. To find things. Sure.

Yeah. Number seven on the top 10 lessons I've learned from 10 years of marriage is sometimes you must take a stand against something that you're actually for. Now, this doesn't sound like it makes a lot of sense. Yeah. But it's just so that you can say you conceded next time they mention something

that you actually don't want to do. For example, no, I don't want to go to that party. Last time you got a dog. Like, remember when I let you get the dog? I didn't want the dog, but I kind of wanted the dog. Okay. And you're like, remember, I didn't want the dog, and you got the dog.

Don't make me go to the party. Yeah. How many times have you used the dog? All the time. Okay. Don't make me go to the party. Yeah. Don't make me go to the social. Don't make me go to the social event.

I don't want to. You made me get that dog. See, that works really, really well. Yeah, okay. Number six on the list of the top ten lessons I've learnt from ten years of marriage. You better have liked their latest posts on social media before you like any post from anything that has breasts. Like, if they put a photo up of... latest posts on social media before you like any post from anything that has breasts. Like if

they put a photo up of That's indoctrinated. That is a law that everyone lives by. If they say I've just put a photo up or you see a photo but then it's you've got to scroll down to find it. Don't stop and like anything. Okay right.

On the way there. Did she tell you she's just put a photo up? No but. No I never You've got to scroll down to find it. Don't stop and like anything on the way there. Because they'll know. Did she tell you she just put a photo up? No, but. No, I never say. And then I wait. What if like hot swimsuit models are coming up in your algorithm before your wife's post? Get out of the way.

Get out of the way. Get out of the way. How did this happen? What are you doing here? This is because I Googled. I was going to buy you some togs. And they're listening And you look just like these women You look better

Yeah I mean they make these togs look shit Dowdy Come on Where's your posts? Scroll down Number five on the list Of the top ten lessons

I've learnt from 10 years of marriage. If you see them putting their phone down after they've been on it for ages, put yours down quick because you're about to be told you're always on your phone. Yeah. Like, as soon as they're like, click, lock, sound, you're always on your phone. What? And don't you dare think saying, okay, then pull up the screen time checker and we'll see who's on their phone more a day.

That's just going to start a big old fight. Yeah. You're awake for more hours than me. I was like, well, that actually works against you. That's not good logic. Number four on the list of the top ten lessons I've learnt from ten years of marriage. One of you is going to spend a lot of your marriage restacking the other's

pathetic attempts at loading the dishwasher That's just the comment Don't get good at what you don't want to do That's just the comment He's going to restack it anyway so I'm just like

just chuck it in there He'll deal with it Why isn't she picked up on the correct way to stack the dishwasher Because I don't want to stack the dishwasher But just don't then

Leave it. I'll just leave it on the bench. Rinse it. I'll do the rest. Okay. I don't even reckon Megan would be a rinser. Nah. You can tell.

That's what the dishwasher's for. No, but it gets caked on. And it gets clogged up. Okay, well, I'll just leave them dirty in the sink. You can do the appropriate rinsing. I'm the one that has to take the rack out and then take that thing out of the bottom and it goes... That's why Megan always has peas

in the bottom of her dishwasher and corn. Well, I'll just leave them dirty in the sink. You can rinse and put them away and... Bitch about it. Number three on the list of the top 10 lessons I've learnt from 10 years of marriage. It's important that you're angry at the same people that they're angry at, even if you've got absolutely no reason to be angry at them.

Okay. You've got to be team for or against. Yeah. Number two. Why don't we need to delve into that one any further? We know. Everyone knows. Don't you dare get caught talking to the person that they're fighting with at a party,

because you will be in trouble. I only liked their posts, so I'd see more of what they were doing, so I party is you will be in trouble. I only liked their posts so I'd see more of what they were doing so I can tell you. Oh, okay. Number two on the list of the top 10 lessons I've learnt from 10 years of marriage. Being married is basically like

having a panicking driving instructor in the car with you every time you go, oh, slow down, Ash. It was an orange light. Slow down. You're too close to the camera in front of us. No. You didn't indicate for three full seconds before changing lanes.

And number one on the list. It's like you when you drive with Vaughn. It's like anyone when they drive with Vaughn. They get white knuckled. Yeah. Number one on the list of the top ten lessons I've learned from ten years of marriage. You can breathe at the wrong time Okay

Like for example Just after they've asked if you can Help them with something What was that for? Big deal is it? Can I ask a favour? When you've just sat down You're relaxing into the couch Can I ask a favour? When you've just sat down Yeah You're relaxing into the couch

Can I ask a favour? Wrong time Wrong time to breathe Yeah Is it alright if my dad comes and stays this weekend? Wrong time to breathe That's a loaded breath That's not just a breath

It's my thinking I'm getting a bit of extra oxygen to my brain to think. Sure. It's Friday. When's he getting here? He's coming up the driveway. Wrong time to breathe. So there you go.

Go forth. Love thou spouse. And I don't know. It's not their wedding anniversary. I don't want to say happy wedding anniversary. go forth. Love thou spouse. And, I don't know, it's not their wedding anniversary. I don't want to say happy wedding anniversary. Happy wedding anniversary to my wife for tomorrow. Although I'll see you later on,

so I'll tell you in person. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Apparently something we need to all watch out for this Christmas is guilt buying. Because 2020's been rubbish for everyone. They think that this will be a massive thing this Christmas, guilt buying, which is you're thinking about

buying your friends a really good gift because they've had a rough year, buying your kids more gifts because you feel like that'll compensate for the year that they've had. I'll let you both know right now, this is not something I'm suffering from. You shan't be getting extra or any gift.

I was about to say, did we even get a gift last year from you? No, don't think so. No. We just unanimously agreed we didn't really do the money. Our friendship is enough. Every day, our friendship is enough of a gift. You joke, but that's kind of what they're saying. you don't need to one-up yourself from last year just because everyone's had a bad year and you set yourself a dangerous president precedent for next year when your kids are like wow this isn't as good as last year well this is my

life motto is gift precedence don't because start it. Yeah, especially early on in any kind of friendship relationship or... And even in like the office Secret Santa, you might feel pressure to give a really good gift if someone's had a crappy year. That's the thing. Didn't that happen last year with Secret Santa? Somebody spent way more than the allocated like $15 or...

Megan always goes OTT on Secret Santa. Yeah, you've got to stop that. No, not on money wise, but I always try and make sure it's like really targeted to the person. Thor. Thor-ort.

Thor-ort. Okay. I think it's about F-W-O-R-T. Right, okay. Thor-ort. But apparently, yeah, like especially for kids, all they want is for a bit of reassurance

and a bit of love at Christmas especially this year the presents aren't going to do it well tell my daughter that she's got a Barbie dream house picked out that costs some hundreds of dollars and she said she won't accept anything else from Santa you should do that dad thing where you build a real sharky

please build it out of cardboard toilet rolls where can't a baby have You build a real sharky. Oh, please build it out of cardboard. Beaver house. Toilet rolls. Where can't a beaver house? We've had a lot of toilet paper this year. Yeah. Toilet roll Barbie house. I think everyone's going to be understanding though, aren't they?

When it comes to Christmas, like. Really? Maybe not kids, but. Yeah. Adults. Yeah. It's been a tough year. Just take it easy.

Especially you don't need that financial strain after Christmas when you're like, oh, actually I spent way too much money. Yeah, save that for early New Year's when you absolutely blew out over your holiday. Thank you. All right. Fleshfawn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. And Evening Vaughn thought this was funny. He's in a different place. Was Evening Vaughn a couple of whiskeys deep?

Evening Vaughn had had a couple of whiskeys. And Evening Vaughn must have thought, I'll plant this little time bomb. Because just when that song was playing, I was like, fact of the day is next. I opened up my email where I can find a fact of the day and send it to myself. And when I opened this one up, I was like,

what was the fact of the day? I can't for the life of me remember what it is. And then I saw it, Rod Stewart. And I was like, Rod Stewart? I'm like, I'll click on this. And I'm like, okay, good one, Evening Vaughn. You win this round. There's not enough time.

Is this an inappropriate? Okay. I've often wondered, no, this is kind of leading into this. Okay. You know when you see a singer smoking and you're like, oh my God, like, well, that's a big risk.

Yeah. Rita Ora smoking. I'm like, Rita, you're a singer. That's your voice. You've got to look after it, love. And didn't Adele love a smug? I think she loves a singer. And didn't, back in the day, didn't they tell, like, radio broadcasters, like, to have smugs and whiskey to make your voice, like, deeper and gravelier?

It'd be a bit more grunty, yeah. So I've often thought about that. Okay. And Stevie Nicks from Fleetwood Mac, she famously loved cocaine. Oh, okay. In the 70s to the point where they said basically if you keep doing that, you're not going to have any nasal cavity whatsoever. Right.

It's going to be no good at all. But Rod Stewart, he foresaw this problem living his rock and roll lifestyle. He addressed this in his book, Rod the Autobiography. Rod. It's a name, isn't it? Rod. Rod. Your dad used to look a bit like Rod Stewart.

I remember a girl at school once said, your dad looks like Rod Stewart, and he bloody loved that. He thought that was just so great. Such a New Zealand connection. He was married to Rachel Hunter. Yeah. Had a couple of kids. Yeah.

Well, it was in Rod the autobiography that Rod did talk about the 70s on the rock and roll scene and cocaine and the usage of cocaine. However, he was told by his doctor that cocaine, if snorting cocaine could be very bad for his voice. Okay. So he started buying anti-cold capsules from the chemist, popping them open, emptying that out, popping the cocaine into the pill,

and then popping it up his bum. It's your fact of the day. Evening Vaughan needs to have a word to Morning Vaughan. We're going to meet at midday Vaughan today, and we're going to have a sit down, and we're going to be like, okay, look, the three of us have got to work out how this is going to work. Because

morning Vaughn, you get the energy, okay? You get the clarity. And then midday Vaughn, you're quiet and you're very, very tired and you question everything that's happened to your existence. And then evening Vaughn, you're on the

second wind, buddy. You have a couple of drinks. It's fast and loose. You've had a good feed. And you're kind of ruining it for the team, bro. This is not the first time that evening Vaughan has done this to us. And then brunch Vaughan is like, it can't happen again to midday Vaughn and midday Vaughn's like I don't think it will

I'm going to have a word to mid-afternoon Vaughn he's actually asleep so I'll make sure I leave a note for mid-afternoon Vaughn to pass on to evening Vaughn and then night Vaughn

but then evening Vaughn doesn't say a note he wakes up from the sleep he's like I forgot how to read. Right. Time to find some wildly inappropriate fact of the day for tomorrow at 8.30. So today's fact of the day is Rod Stewart didn't snort cocaine.

That's the best I can do to adapt. Evening Vaugh. That's good. Handiwork. He enjoyed it, but he didn't snort it. We got that. We're there now. Right. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A study has been done looking into air health, air ventilation, the quality of air. Right. Especially when you're sleeping. So I don't sleep with the window open, but it's mainly because, not just because of the cold or anything mosquitoes yeah creepy crawlies okay well I'm downtown I'm I'm right in the city so you can't leave the window open unless you sleep like like the dead it's too loud yeah um but it

is a good choice to sleep with your uh windows open because it helps to ventilate your home better and they reckon it can cut the risk of catching COVID-19. That would require someone with COVID-19 being in your house. Yeah, I mean I don't know how they back that up but you can see that ventilating your home is a good idea. So fresh air

when you're sleeping rather than air con or a fan or something is preferable. But yeah, then you've got to worry about like what's crawling in your window. And then going in your mouth. Because like you eat spiders and stuff, eh? When you're asleep. Yeah, see I can't

sleep with the window open. It's always got to be shut. Like do you have things that you always like, for example curtains have to be blackout like no cracks or lights coming through and Things that you always like, for example, curtains have to be blackout. No cracks. No cracks or lights coming through. And when I used to have a TV in my room, I put Blu-Tack over the red dot and over the security sensor when I flatted and had one of those

because it would flash every time you moved in the bed. And I was like, ah, Blu-Tack. Oh, God. That's annoying. I don't like doors ajar because that's creepy. Like, what's on the other side of that when it's dark? And also drawers, any drawer. Like, if something's stuck in the drawer or your drawer's, like, partly open, that's a hard one.

It's got to be flush shut, doesn't it? Oh, it's got to be flush shut. Like, I don't know how people sleep with their wardrobes open. No. Always shut the wardrobe doors or sliders. No. Because, you know, clowns. Because what's coming out of that at night?

Yes. No, because you wake up in the middle of the night, it would just freak me out, and then you'd be convinced that the dress in there is a clown, and yes, I'm a child. Well, you still run and jump on the bed because of the monster. Monster's underneath. Yeah, as a grown adult.

And this is what we wanted to ask this morning. Right now on 0800DARLS.M and you can text her 9696. What do you always need to get to sleep? Like what needs to be absolutely perfect in the room? Or what things do you have to do? Because I had a friend who will play

rain sound effects on his phone. Leave it on the bedside table. But that's a bad habit. All of these are weaknesses. This is all lip balm. Because you're all putting on lip balm when your lips aren't even that dry. And getting addicted. And get addicted and reliant.

My lips feel dry now. And then when we're actually stuck on a deserted island, there'll be no lip balm. And it's the same with these. You're all conditioning yourself to these perfect sleep situations. What about sheets tucked in? Because some people have to have a flappy sheet. Mine has to be tucked in and Andrew's side has to be untucked.

Really? Because I cannot go to sleep if my bottom of the blanket's untucked. Like if it's come loose, after a couple of days, I'll re-tuck it. I'll get out of bed. Because you won't fall out, eh? No, I don't know what it is. It's about feeling like wrapped in. Yeah, I don't know what it is. It's about feeling like wrapped in. Yeah, I don't know what it is. Is that weird?

No, I don't need to be tucked in or untucked or tucked any specific way. All right, well, we're going to take your calls. 0800-DARLS-AT-M-9696. What do you need to get to sleep? What has to be all perfect in your bedroom world before you go to sleep? So we got on to talking about the things that you need to have done in your room or sorted before you go to sleep. Doors shut, sheets tucked.

I've got to have blackout lights. Like, you know at hotels, here's a great tip. Hotels always have like wonky curtains and there's always a little gap in the curtain at the top because it might not shut properly. You go into the wardrobe and you get those little pant coat hangers that have the clips and you clip the curtain shut. Oh my God, the amount of times I've done that.

I saw it on like one of those BuzzFeed things. Could you take half a dozen clothes pegs with you? You could, yeah. But then you're going on holiday with like clothes pegs and it's a bit weird. But you could actually... I don't take that much room though. No,s with you? You could, yeah. But then you're going on holiday with, like, clothes pegs, and it's a bit weird. But you could actually... I don't take up much room, though. No, that's true.

You could do it. A little peggy peg to look after your sleep. Paige, you're the same. Curtains, actually, you're the opposite. Curtains have to be open. Absolutely. So, but does that... What?

Do you wake up super early, though? Yeah. But you don't mind that. You love to wake up with the earth. I love waking up early. But, like, what? So you see... So you get things done before you go to work.

Tell us your secrets. You're not, like, freaked out about seeing things outside? You're like, what was that? Oh, no, it's okay. No, I mean, we live on a farm so it's all just grass outside but... And murderous. And murderous. The perfect little edge of the curtain shut so the sun

doesn't hit your eyes but you're not lights up the room in the morning. I couldn't do that. But then if you're in the country, you're not getting the street lights, you're not getting the neighbours' lights. No. Yeah, it probably would be quite dark, wouldn't it? So you wouldn't need curtains.

Absolutely. We're talking about what you need to get to sleep. It might be you listen to something. It might be that you need the sheets tucked in or all doors shut. We want to know what it is that you need to get to sleep. Adele, what do you have to have before you can go to sleep? I have to have the door open. Like wide open? Wide open. But do you live go to sleep? I have to have the door open. Like wide open?

Wide open. But do you live with other people? Yeah. Oh, that's weird. On the opposite. It needs to be shut. They will see you sleeping. No, yeah, but it's only my family. It's great. I have a teen son, so if he wakes up during the night to try and get a

midnight snack or sneak onto the computer, I wake up. Your eye opens and you're like, yeah. Yeah, so it's great. I can't. I feel like I'm claustrophobic. If I have the door shut, it has to be open. It's so opposite. I'm scared of what's down the hallway. Yeah, it's so crazy hearing from people that are like, yeah, it's either this or that. It's one or the other. Thanks, you call Adele.

Tony, what do you have to have before you can sleep? I have to have earplugs in and an eye mask on. Like you're on a plane. Pretty much. But where does the, because I thought about this before, like where does the eye mask end up in the morning? Are you pretty dead still?

So I can like wake up in the middle of the night and it's it's gone burger like i have no idea where it is and i might find it down the bed or on the ground and one earplugs falling out you're like no i've gone deaf in one ear what's happened but do you is it because you're a really light sleeper that you have to have the earplugs? So when I was young, maybe like 14, 15, my dad, he's always been a real loud snorer. And you could literally hear him through the wall. So I started wearing earplugs and then it sort of just formed a habit

that I had to like sleep in silence. And then if I didn't wear them, I just couldn't sleep. Like any noise would irritate me. Oh, wow. Okay. I think it is those teenage years where you develop your habits, eh? sleep in silence and then if I didn't wear them I just couldn't sleep like any noise would irritate me. Oh wow, okay. I think it is those teenage years where you develop

your habits, eh? Thanks you're cool Tony. Ask some text messages. I have to sleep with the windows open and the curtains open but the lounge and the kitchen

have to be clean as well. And that's why a lot of people are saying it's not necessarily what you have in your bedroom it's knowing that everything's ticked off

your to-do list. Yeah. Oh yep, yep. Okay. I have a routine that starts at 9 p.m. to be in bed exactly at 9.30. Cushions straight on the couch. My cup beside the jug for the morning cuppa. Walking clothes laid out.

Face off. That's like removing makeup and stuff. Yeah. And sheets folded over for my husband to come to bed after me. Oh. That's so cute. Somebody else said I need to have the kitchen cleaned. The washing needs to be sorted. after me. Oh. That's so cute. Somebody else said I need to have the kitchen cleaned,

the washing needs to be sorted, the kids' lunches need to be packed and the fish need to be fed. That's the last thing I do before I go. And if I haven't done my full list, I can't sleep properly. Wow.

Yeah. It's like the bedtime parade. Everything you've got to get done. Somebody else said I have to listen to Brooklyn Nine-Nine, the TV show, to get to sleep. It's been two years

and I've been doing it every night. I'm convinced Netflix is going to send me an email asking me if I'm okay. I've watched seasons one through six at least eight times through. What is it about that show specifically? A lot of people are messaging in that podcasts

get them to sleep. Like people talking. No. Harry Potter audiobooks have been quite popular because it's Stephen Fry reading it. He. Like people talking. No. Harry Potter audio books have been quite popular because it's Stephen Fry reading it. Oh, he's a lovely voice. He's a relaxing voice.

Did anyone say the Harry Styles calm sleeping app? Um. If I didn't have a husband beside me that would probably find that weird.

That's what I'd really enjoy. Yeah. But do you wonder why you have so many erotic Harry Styles dreams? It would be worse if I had that app. This is Fletch, Vaughan and Megan with the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast any erotic Harry Styles dreams. It would be worse if I had that app.