ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 13th April 2021

Episode Date: April 13, 2021

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Starting point is 00:00:00 ZM. Hit music. Lives here. Because it's not compulsory. But we keep getting these questions like. You're coming right? Yeah and you're like. And Vaughn's got an excuse to get out. He's got a meeting. Vaughn's got a meeting. I've got an excuse.
Starting point is 00:00:36 I'm not a full timer. Yeah you don't have to care. I'm a ringer. You're a fill in yeah. And we've got the gym at 12.15. Our gym's later. No this is a three-hour fucking meeting. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:00:47 I'm not even kidding. Meetings shouldn't be three hours. No, nothing needs to take three hours. So when it starts at 10, it's going to finish at 1. That is way too long for a meeting. But I will say, if someone needs to represent breakfast ZDM. I think it's Fletch. I feel like you've got the weakest excuse.
Starting point is 00:01:04 I've got the least reason to be there. I don't really work here. It's Matua. Matua Fletch. I feel like you've got the weakest excuse. I've got the least reason to be there. I don't really work here. It's Matua. Matua Fletch. That's what they all call you out there. No, they don't. Look, you sit behind the big machine. We're just appendages to the show. I've been doing this long enough. I don't need to be told how to do something. Three hours
Starting point is 00:01:19 is a conference, by the way. You know what? I didn't see any promise of catering. Catering or an after function. I'm starving. It's not hosted by a stand-up comedian. Oh, dear. You've got to have your conference hosted by a stand-up. You absolutely do.
Starting point is 00:01:33 It's the only way. I've hosted many. Even if it's got absolutely no ties to your industry whatsoever, it's got to be hired by Chuckles McGee and the Laugh Factory. Well, you've only got 15 minutes to come up with a better excuse than I'm going to the gym in two hours time. I'm hungry. I'm going to the supermarket to buy lunch
Starting point is 00:01:51 and then I'm going to the gym. I don't care about a three hour meeting. Despite the fact Ross Boss just came in and said, you're coming, right? I'd really like you to come. He put on his serious earnest plea See I would go if it was 45 to half an hour
Starting point is 00:02:07 So 45 is the optimal meeting length I'm looking at this and it says 45 minutes Maximum I don't need to hear people war on about Bullshit And there must be substantial breaks If we get here tomorrow though and we hear that it was like The most fun time ever
Starting point is 00:02:23 It was catered by Fatimers and it was the most fun time ever. No, it won't be. It was catered by Fatimahs and it was wine. Fatimahs. It was the Cofters, wasn't it? It was the Cofters. It was the Cofters and wine. Damn it, they do a good Cofter. If there's Cofters and wine, I'm on board. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:36 Oh, you're going to love Fatimahs new BYO. Fletchforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Good morning. Welcome to the show Fletch, Fawn and Megan with Hayley Sproul Woo, Sproul Sproul
Starting point is 00:02:50 It's how I tell people to pronounce my name Sproul on the prowl Okay, right I'd also like to indicate that that's How would people say it? Sproul Sproul Sproul
Starting point is 00:03:02 Sproul Sproul Sproul I think it is Sproul Sproul As in theoul. Sproul. Sproul. Sprout. I think it is sproul. Sproul. As in the Scottish, but Sprout. Do you have a tartan? I'm a lot of Scottish.
Starting point is 00:03:11 Somewhere, are you? And 3% Swedish. I don't know if I told you this yesterday. You were still trying to stop talking about it. Yeah, you did. So exotic. Sproul name and meaning. I would have thought you were more Swedish.
Starting point is 00:03:24 Thank you. Yeah. Yeah, I'm taking that as a compliment. I'm giving it as one. Right, have thought you were more Swedish. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah, I'm taking that as a compliment. I'm giving it as one. Right, okay, thank you, yeah. You migrated to Ireland. Ireland. Why don't you just ask, Hayley?
Starting point is 00:03:35 I'm sure you know the origin of your name. No. You've got a coat of arms. Have you never looked up what your name means? No. Sproul, the Sproul motto was originally a war... Oh, no, that's your motto. Manit in intarium.
Starting point is 00:03:51 It endureth forever. Oh, you endure forever. Ever. Endure? That sounds horrible. You'll be in a rest home, you'll be 118. Oh, my gosh. No, take me.
Starting point is 00:04:01 The news will come around and they'll be like, how are you enjoying your 118th birthday? I've hated the last 40 years. Yep. Kill me. Kill me. Smother me with a pillow. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:13 I just keep trying to fall asleep on my stomach. My last name means I sleep on my stomach. Yes. Today's my last day. Roll me onto my stomach I'm so old I can't survive a night on my stomach I sleep on my stomach
Starting point is 00:04:31 Am I going to suffocate myself one day? You might Just don't go face down I'm a side Fletchers don't have a war cry House of names Is a rad website My Yeah, my name means we made the arrows. The fletches are what
Starting point is 00:04:48 the feathery bits on arrows are. So you know in Game of Thrones, I made all the feathers. You personally? I was personally, yeah. Wow. Smith's house is by divine providence, but you don't have one. I'm a Smith, so I was named after the blacksmiths. You were in Game of Thrones making all the
Starting point is 00:05:04 shields and... And what were the sprouts doing? It doesn't say the origins of the name. You were the people on the streets on Game of Thrones, I think. You were sprouted out. You were sprouted out. Your legs sprouted wide for everybody to
Starting point is 00:05:18 muck in. Wow. It's been a hard day on the anvil. The smith needs some relief Come on On that chat It certainly is on Alright, coming up on the show The top six
Starting point is 00:05:35 In last night, I tell you what What a power play From TVNZ To be like, hey, we made a new show And we're making it unavoidable to you Unless you've got TV3. But TV1 and TV2 simulcast pop stars. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:52 Inescapable. And they dropped Fear Go, which would have angered the boomers. Because they need to know what to be angry about. They do. They need to know what scams to avoid. I'm flipping the panties these days. Yeah. Who's ripping off old people?
Starting point is 00:06:05 Yeah, which builders are overcharging for an old person's roof? Exactly. You need to know these things. Well, I've got the top six things. As soon as we've just said three of them, I'll have to definitely come up with some more. The top six things you missed on Fair Go last night. We like to keep you on your toes, Vaughan.
Starting point is 00:06:20 Next on the show. How many hours do we spend cleaning up after our beloved pets? ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Well, a study's been done now. Bear in mind, this is in America. And it has found that the average pet owner spends 832 hours each year cleaning up after their pets. That's more than two hours a day.
Starting point is 00:06:42 That's ridiculous, right? That's absolutely bonkers. But maybe it covers all sorts of things, like vacuuming, you know, because that includes hair and fluff. You vacuum what, like three times a week? That's if you're a nuts crazy vacuum cleaner. You've got a robot
Starting point is 00:07:00 vacuum cleaner. Doesn't that do every... Robbie doesn't go every day. Because there is a light bit of prep involved. Robbie could do a light clean, but if you don't prep the area, Robbie can suck up a cord or a shoelace or a...
Starting point is 00:07:11 Right, or a poo. Or a poo. You've got to... There can't be a poo inside. Horses are a two-hour-a-day pet. Yeah, they're a heavy, time-invested pet. I get the feeling from this study
Starting point is 00:07:21 it's a lot of dog owners that are cleaning up a lot because you've got a couple of... that are the easiest in the world. You just let them out. It depends on the dog. I've got a friend who's got a Samoy. And she had dark carpets. So I think you'd vacuum almost every day.
Starting point is 00:07:36 Yeah, that's crazy. So 64% of respondents told researchers they always clean their pets after they go outside to avoid muddy pores on the carpet. How does that take two hours a day? We do that, but it's just like sit on this towel and you dry the feet and then you say, wait there and he'll sit there for a couple of minutes and then when they dry, go about his business.
Starting point is 00:07:54 Do you have dog shoes? Lulu had dog shoes when she burned her pores. Lulu ran through the Hungy fire. Because I don't know if this is an American thing, but 75% of owners have put shoes on their companion, their dog, to avoid a mess. If they had a fluffy paw. I've just jumped in on this little article you're reading here. 68% of people say they would instantly break up with someone
Starting point is 00:08:20 who didn't get along with their cat or dog. I've heard that before. Do you know, because I thought about this when I was working with Madeline Sami and I was like, you should come over. She said, oh, but you've got a cat. And so we worked out that she'll never be able to come over to my house. And I was like, I'm mad. Does she hate cats or is she allergic?
Starting point is 00:08:36 Allergic. Like fully allergic. But if she's a good friend, she should take an antihistamine and just get through it. Well, then maybe she's not a good friend. Maybe I'm just noticing that now. But imagine having, you know, falling in love with someone and they had a severe cat allergy. I'd be like, we're out. Because you're not getting rid of
Starting point is 00:08:54 your cat, are you? Not in a thousand years. No. I've got bad news for you cats that live a thousand years. You've got how old's Rolly now? Rolly? Five? Seven, eight years? Total. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:07 Left. You are monsters. No, our cat just won't die. He's like, how old is Anakin now? 16? And I know there's cats that live to like 20 or whatever. Yeah. He's gone strong.
Starting point is 00:09:18 Yeah. It's the power of the dark side that compels him. I come from a long line of long cat owners. The Sprawls back in the Game of Thrones days. that can come from. I come from a long line of long cat owners. What was I trying to say here? The Sprawls, back in the Game of Thrones days. The Sprawls, but my cats growing up,
Starting point is 00:09:32 we had two cats growing up, Shaq and Ruffy. Was it named after Shaquille O'Neal? It was. I chose the name when I was a kid. Nice. Hot play. They both lived till like 16, 17.
Starting point is 00:09:42 Yeah. Super old. So I think Rolly's going to go the same way. Oh yeah, cats can live for a long time. So fair to say you're never going to be
Starting point is 00:09:48 with a dog person. No, but Aaron has recently been talking about getting a dog and Aaron, big boy Aaron, big gruff boy Aaron, wants a corgi.
Starting point is 00:09:59 Oh no. It's quite cute, isn't it? Corgis are cute when they're puppies but they're, nah, I'm not a fan when they get bigger. Are they a bit dumb? Are they when they're puppies, but they're, no, I'm not a fan when they get bigger.
Starting point is 00:10:05 Are they a bit dumb? Are they a bit dim? Yeah, and they're yappy, horrible things. I don't want a yapper. Yeah, because I just had friends with them growing up, and they just put me off them. They're silly dogs. That's why I'm off pugs.
Starting point is 00:10:16 Even before they became a problem with their pedigree breeding and the breathing, I got nipped in the Achilles by one. And that is your Achilles heel. Yeah, pugs. Yeah. Pugs. All right, next on the show. Women who are stressed out before pregnancy, so every woman, are twice as likely to have a particular gender.
Starting point is 00:10:37 I'll tell you which one. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Now, having a boy or a girl is a 50-50, isn't it? That's what they say. Well, no, if you're gay, you prefer one. If you're bisexual, I think you can have a boy or a girl. Or a pansexual. A new human.
Starting point is 00:10:58 Oh, right, if you were to have children. If you were to have children. Yeah, you don't. Well, you can choose, right? Are you talking about designer babies? Yeah. Who was doing that? Paris Hilton. You get IVF and they, can they see
Starting point is 00:11:13 what one's going to be a boy and what one's not? I don't know, there must be some markers. If you could. Nah. Whatever, you so would. If they were like, you can choose. Did you find out genders before the birth? Definitely not with our oldest. With Indy, we didn't. That that was a complete surprise and apparently we did with august but i can't remember we knew it was gonna be a girl i was like did we know i don't think we did i wouldn't and there are there are old wives tales right like if you want a boy or a girl yeah
Starting point is 00:11:38 yeah yeah hang your legs upside down or something. So apparently, researchers at the University of Granada have said that women who are stressed out before pregnancy are almost twice as likely, which is pretty high, to have a guill to birth a assigned female at birth. So this is conception, right? Yeah, so this is before. So they're saying one theory is the stress hormone cortisol, of which mine are rocket high,
Starting point is 00:12:13 have a knock-on effect on other sex hormones which influence the child's sex. Right. Well, I think being married to you, Vaughn, would be quite a little bit stressful. I don't think you'd ever have a boy. Quite a bit stressful. And then, like, later on, like, five years down the track
Starting point is 00:12:27 when they start school and stuff, you see the mother of the boys and it's their turn to be stressed because they come out of school and they've only got their shorts on and they're like, where's the rest of the uniform? And the boys are like, I don't know. That's the best at school. You can pick the kids up and there's mums of boys and they're like, where are your shoes?
Starting point is 00:12:44 And he's like, I don't know. Where's your hat? I got absolutely hiding for losing a shoe once. I don't know where it is. I never found it. I've got no idea. Where'd you take them off? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:12:55 Did you have them on at the start of school? No. Did you take them off before school? Yeah. To do what? I don't know. Oh, my God. And these kids are just like, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:13:06 Go to the lost property and just grab a pair of shoes that are roughly your size. One size bigger if you can, because that means you'll grow into them. They're saying that the other possibility of why this might be the case is that sperm carrying the X chromosome is less affected by,
Starting point is 00:13:23 so which determines the child to be a girl, the X chromosome, is less affected by problems with cervical mucus caused by stress. So the male chromosome, if it's stressed, mucus. They get stuck in the mucus.
Starting point is 00:13:39 Gone. Right. Whereas the female ones are like, don't hold me back. So if you're trying for a boy and you've already got like five girls, you know those families you see and there's like five boys and one girl and they finally got one or five boys and then they finally get a girl, then maybe just have a little spa weekend and then try.
Starting point is 00:13:57 Yeah, just a bit of a meditation, some yoga. I was going to say a couple of drinks but then that's probably not a couple of drinks a little like hit the ball I'll tell you what and I'm sure she won't mind me saying I'm sure she will
Starting point is 00:14:10 she's always like shut up about me on air but my mum Patsy I came into this world because she had a weird glass of champers and then I was like yum yum yum
Starting point is 00:14:19 and out you came out I came not before she hopped into the shower she shaved her legs good champagne or was it cheap champagne? So I was born on the 8th of October,
Starting point is 00:14:27 but my brother's birthday was the 7th of October, but three years prior. So he was having a birthday party. She'd been looking after toddlers and, you know, three-year-olds all day. She's like, oh, my Lord, Jesus, take the wheel. Knocked back a shampers and I was like. Here you are.
Starting point is 00:14:42 Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. From the oily ZM think tank, this is the top six. Kia ora, good morning. Fair go is New Zealand's second longest running local television program after... Country Calendar. Correcting 10 points to you. Yes. But the chase is over.
Starting point is 00:15:04 What about the news? That doesn't count. It doesn't you. Yes. But the chase is over. What about the news? That doesn't count. That's the news. It's like the news. Okay. Always rates really well, Fair Go. Yep. You know, there's a long history of...
Starting point is 00:15:15 Sorting out people's issues. Who was the guy that did Fair Go when we were growing up? Philip Alpers. Kevin Milne. Kevin Milne did it. He does the carpet ads now, doesn't he? Yes, he does. Yep. Carpet Mil. Kevin Milne. Kevin Milne did it. He does the carpet ads now, doesn't he? Yes, he does. Yep.
Starting point is 00:15:25 Carpet Mil. And you've got Hayden Jones now. Hayden Jones and Pippa Wetzel. Lovely Hayden Jones and Pippa Wetzel. Yep. You've had Leanne Clark. Oh, yep. Before her ten-year-ship at Rambo's End.
Starting point is 00:15:36 I don't know where Leanne Clark is now. Okay. But she's sorted some shit out. Matt Chisholm. Gordon Harcourt. It's had a long list of people. God, have they caught some dodgy roofers ripping off Alderley in their time?
Starting point is 00:15:50 They have. I want to follow up. You know, like how Oprah does, where are they now? Like going back to the people that they sort of busted. They did like a 40 year didn't they do like a 40 year fair go special? Because it started in like 77. Yeah, maybe.
Starting point is 00:16:05 They caught up with all the ex-presenters but also some of their most famous cases like what the story was because I love when they go around to a builder's house and they're like
Starting point is 00:16:13 Richard you've ripped off Edith with her roof and he goes piss off and he slams the camera down
Starting point is 00:16:20 it's so good what do you want to say to this 80 year old woman Edith it's Big Dad listen Edith's a bitch Big Dad with Edith the bitch And everyone's like How dare you
Starting point is 00:16:29 That's so much grammar I got the top 6 things you missed on Fair Go last night Right Number 6 Pippa Wetzel telling a builder that they've been very naughty Oh she's good at that Yeah Pippa Wetzel I've just been doing a little bit of research on Pippa Wetzel.
Starting point is 00:16:46 Right. She was Takapuna Grammar School's head girl. Was she? Yep, in 1994. Destined for great things then, wasn't she? Yeah, she's always had it. It's been written in the stars. Number five on the list of the top six things you missed on Fair Go last night,
Starting point is 00:17:01 Pippa Wetzel telling a door-to-door salesman they've been very naughty. I can also tell you Pippa Wetzel went on to study at the Auckland University of Technology, graduating with a Bachelor of Communications degree. Oh, lovely. Okay, good. Number four on the list of the top six things you missed on fair go last night. Pippa Wetzel telling Hayden Jones that he'd been
Starting point is 00:17:21 very naughty. Is that who she works with? Is this some kind of fantasy of yours? I know it'd been very naughty. Is that to her? Who she works with? Is this some kind of fantasy of yours? I know what that is. Very naughty. That is, yeah. If she told me I'm very naughty,
Starting point is 00:17:31 I wouldn't know what to do with myself. I can tell you that Pippa was originally hired by TVNZ in 1998 for the overnight assignments desk. Right, okay. Number three on the list of the top six things you missed on Figo last night.
Starting point is 00:17:47 Pippa Wetzel telling a painter that he's been very naughty. What's the painter done? He did a shoddy job in the middle of winter and the paint never set. It bubbled and he won't come back to it. He used undercoat on the exterior windows. Do you ever see Pippa Wetzel when you're filming? Have you been paying attention? She did.
Starting point is 00:18:05 She's come on the show as a guest and I was slightly starstruck. She's so professional. I was babbling along next to her like some buffoon. And I couldn't talk.
Starting point is 00:18:15 Yeah, right. Clearly. Pippa's had several roles at TV One's breakfast television show Breakfast starting as a junior meet and greet assistant
Starting point is 00:18:23 before reporting news for the show. Why didn't you just call this the top six Pippa Wetzel love fest? Number two on the list of the top six things you missed on Fair Go last night, because TVNZ simulcast pop stars on one and two, Pippa Wetzel telling a hedge fund manager who's ripped off old people of their money
Starting point is 00:18:39 that they've been... Very naughty. Very naughty indeed. In 2007, following Kay Griggery's departure from Breakfast, she co-hosted with Paul Henry for a while. Yeah, okay. She did. That's saintly behaviour.
Starting point is 00:18:54 She had to tell him he was very naughty. More than once. Quite a few times. She would have been there for the Sheila Dixon situation, would she have been? I'd say so, yeah. And number one on the list of the top six things you missed on Fair Go last night, Pippa Wetzel telling an internet scammer that they were very naughty.
Starting point is 00:19:13 She's going to ring you up and tell you you've been very naughty. Oh, no. What is happening? We need a Fair Go you. We need to cancel you with all the builders. Oh, that is today's top six. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. This woman ought to be ashamed of herself.
Starting point is 00:19:37 She's a cook. Molly Yee has a show on Food Network, Girl Meets Farm. I've seen this. I've seen this. I've seen her. Her husband sometimes just walks in the background. He's like, hello. She's like, I'm cooking. He's like, yes.
Starting point is 00:19:54 It's really weird. So she has recently shared a recipe for a salad. And people get pretty creative with their salads these days, but she's taken it to an unacceptable level. Whenever I make this salad, I have to make extra popcorn so I can snack on it while I'm cooking. The texture of the popcorn in this salad is so weirdly good, I just can't get enough of it.
Starting point is 00:20:19 This is going to look so fun on the table. See, it looks like you're going to get a salad, but you look underneath and you see a pile of popcorn. That is my kind of salad. Wow. Cancelled. Absolutely cancelled. It's feral.
Starting point is 00:20:33 And you look at it, it's all soggy. It's got carrot and coriander and leaves on top. And she's mixed in the dressing. What's the dressing that she put in? Mayonnaise. Yes, of course it is. Mayonnaise, sour cream, vinegar, sugar, Dijon mustard, sort of a vibe.
Starting point is 00:20:52 A creamy, ranchy type dressing with a lot of popcorn. It's predominantly popcorn. See, I'd want to try that before I said absolutely no way. It does look disgusting. It's feral. The only vegetables in it are some snap peas, some shredded carrot, chopped celery, and watercress on top.
Starting point is 00:21:13 With all that dressing. It's certainly not a healthy salad, is it? Creamy dressing. White cheddar popcorn seasoning. This is the most American thing I've ever heard of. Because popcorn would be a neutral flavour if it wasn't flavored, right? It can be sweet or savory, right? But you know when you have that popcorn and it's that chewy
Starting point is 00:21:32 and it squeaks in your mouth? I don't like that. That's what it'll be like because it'll get all sog-fest. Hey, you're talking to a dude who grew up on carrot jelly, cucumber jelly as well. That was the other one I was reminded of. Your mum put cucumber in jelly? Yeah, it was like a 70s salad.
Starting point is 00:21:51 Yeah, there was a carrot jello and there was a cucumber one as well. I'd forgotten about the cucumber one. Oh, yuck. Peas and gut and like a salad. There was always like a tin of cold peas. Yeah, okay. Yeah, that was pretty. The 80s, mums are weird for salads in the 80s, eh?
Starting point is 00:22:07 The stuff that was in those. I don't really remember eating a lot of salads particularly in the 90s growing up. Like I feel like I had lots of vegetables, but not necessarily salad. Oh, this was if you had like a family, all of my family's birthdays were in summer, so we would have like three or four big barbecues.
Starting point is 00:22:27 Yeah. And it was a family affair. And I just ate myself sick on deviled eggs. So were the jellies with carrot in them and cucumber, was that a pudding or was that a main? No, it was a main. It wasn't like strawberry or sugar flavoured, were they? That was like a neutral gelatin.
Starting point is 00:22:44 Yeah, I think so. Ew. I don't know the exact. I never ate it as a kid. Mum would put some on the plate and I'd be like. But would they cube it and put it in the salad? Or would it be its own bowl of jello? No, you would set it.
Starting point is 00:23:00 You would set the cucumber and the carrot in the jello. That is disgusting. Why would you ruin a jelly the carrot in the jello. That is disgusting. Why would you ruin a jelly? They're absolutely feral. Oh, yeah, that's hideous. Yuck. Imagine if you turned up now.
Starting point is 00:23:13 It does. It looks like dog roll. Yeah. Imagine it now. If we were like, should we have a little BYO? A potluck. A potluck. And I turned up with a popcorn salad and some gelatin.
Starting point is 00:23:27 But see, popcorn salad feels like that's another 80s. It's got a real 80s feel to it. Well, the idea that this woman's trying to give it a resurgence, it's not sitting well with me. I admire her. I admire her a gusto. Most people online, were they, like, horrified? Everyone's like, get out. Cancel the show.
Starting point is 00:23:42 Cancel her. That's immediately. People are not happy. Somebody else said, yeah, it was a family favourite. Carrot and pineapple with orange jelly. That's right, because it had a pineapple to it as well, because it was a little bit sweet. And then cucumber mint and lime jelly.
Starting point is 00:23:55 That was the other one. And someone said our family would do it with beetroot as well. Yeah, right. Like a beetroot jelly. Why was everything in jelly? Why were we gelatinising everything? Everything. Someone tweeted about this popcorn
Starting point is 00:24:06 salad, said, if you bring me out some soggy mayo popcorn, I'll be going to jail that day. ZM's Fletchvorn and Megan, the podcast. Fletchvorn and Megan's Audio Ninja Warrior. And it's just like Ninja
Starting point is 00:24:22 Warrior on telly. It's just like it. On the telly. Just like it. On the telly. But you don't have to be super ripped. You've just got to make the sound effects to get through the Audio Ninja Warrior course. But if you are ripped, do let us know. I mean, presumably you've worked hard. That's something you should probably share.
Starting point is 00:24:38 Good morning, Emily. How are you? Hi. Good, thank you. All right. You are first up today on our Audio Ninja Warrior course. Now, we'll give you a sound effect. You make it as quickly and as best you can.
Starting point is 00:24:50 If it's not up to standard, we will pause and confer and ask for a new sound effect. And if we need to do that three times, you're out. That's the new rule. Three times? Yeah, okay. Not on the same one, three times over the course of the whole thing. Oh, okay, right. Fair call. All right, Emily, are on the same one. Three times over the course of the whole thing. Oh, okay. Right. Fair call.
Starting point is 00:25:05 All right. Emily, are you ready? Yep. Your time starts now. An airplane taking off. True. Okay. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:25:19 A full-time whistle at a sports game. Um. We are going to need to do that again, aren't we? We are just going to pause the timer. We're just going to pause the timer. Emily, we are going to need the full-time sports whistle again. Yep. Okay, that was better. Better.
Starting point is 00:25:41 It's a P-less whistle. Yep. Yes. Yuck. Keys jangling. Yeah, that's good. That's a light jangle. A light jangle.
Starting point is 00:25:52 I like that. A photocopy of photocopying. Similar to the keys. Yeah, yeah. I like that. Subtle. Chattering teeth in the cold. Yeah, that was good. I had a bit of breath there too. Yeah, very similar to the case. Subtle. Chattering teeth in the cold. Yeah, I feel like I had a bit of breath there too.
Starting point is 00:26:09 Yeah, good. Very frosty. A dial-up modem. I like it. You like it? Yep. Sufficient. I've done it.
Starting point is 00:26:24 There we go. You've done it, Emily. You've managed to get through the entire Audio Ninja Warrior course. I wonder if you've ever had to use dial-up internet before, Emily. I'm 23, so I do a lot. Yeah, I didn't think so, yeah. Yeah, okay. All right, Emily, wait there.
Starting point is 00:26:39 You're in the cone of silence. We're bringing in Jack to Audio Ninja Warrior. Good morning, Jack. How are you? Good, good. All right, are you ready? Yes. Now, just for people at home
Starting point is 00:26:48 who've never listened before, Jack's in the kind of silence. He hasn't heard these sounds. He hasn't, no. All right, Jack, your time starts now. An airplane taking off. That was really good.
Starting point is 00:27:03 You said that hiss, that jet engine hiss. A full-time whistle of the sports game. They famously... It's been a long game. Keys jangling. Jingle, jingle, jingle. Jingle, jingle, jingle. I don't know if my keys make
Starting point is 00:27:23 that sound. Randall, those keys in front of you. Jingle, jingle, jingle. He's using his time. Photocopier photocopying. See, that's a better photocopier. Good photocopier. Chattering teeth in the cold.
Starting point is 00:27:42 Yeah. And a dial-up modem. Do we like it? Yeah, I love it. I've done it! I really might have seen a And then someone picks up the phone And it disconnects
Starting point is 00:28:13 And you had to put The call waiting disabling number At the front of the dial up Otherwise you'd get cut off if someone called through God damn call waiting Alright You've cut them both off have you Otherwise, you'd get cut off if someone called through. Goddamn call waiting. All right. Both have successfully... You've cut them both off, have you?
Starting point is 00:28:28 You hung up on both of them. Yeah, I don't know what happened there. I thought I'd locked them in. Well, obviously not. Fletch just hung up on both of them. Fletch wasn't impressed with either efforts. Give us your phone tone. Yeah, that's really good.
Starting point is 00:28:44 Really good, Emily. What was that, Jack? Was that Emily or Jack? It says Emily. Okay, well, they don't need to be here. No. So they don't win anything. No, just bragging rights.
Starting point is 00:28:54 Just bragging rights, and they can take that just by listening to the radio. She clocked in at one minute, three seconds. Yep. Emily, however, Jack, 56 seconds. So today's winner of Order of Ninja Warriors is Jack. I think that she had to do that
Starting point is 00:29:09 sound twice over, didn't she? Yeah, that cost her. The whistle, that cost her. That cost her there. Yeah. It would have been mine. Because they're good, the P rolling around. They get more of the P roll. Yeah, that was really good. Alright, next on the show, when someone's calling you on your phone
Starting point is 00:29:28 and you don't want to talk to them. Just turn your phone upside down. Okay, someone's floated an idea online on how to get out of that call that's calling you. That's not turning your phone upside down. I need this. ACC has been knocking. Do you owe them money? I owe everyone money.
Starting point is 00:29:49 Okay, well, maybe you can try this with ACC next and the IRD. Oh, no, they're going to go into my account now. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:57 Next week. Next week, I promise. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Now, there's a way going around on the internet to end a phone call without just, like, obviously hanging up on somebody. I mean, there's the age-old on the internet to end a phone call
Starting point is 00:30:05 without just like obviously hanging up on somebody. I mean, there's the age old classic when you answer, even if you've got a full battery, say, hey, I don't have much battery left. And then you can just hang up when you're done. Oh, yeah, that's a good one. Halfway through. And always hang up halfway through you talking.
Starting point is 00:30:17 Yeah, but don't make it obvious. Don't pause. They're like, oh, yeah, I'll come and see you later. Terrible, terrible. My least favourite and see you later. Terrible, terrible, terrible acting. My least favourite is when you're on your phone, maybe you're on Instagram or playing a fun game or something,
Starting point is 00:30:32 and then a number calls and you just have to stare at it. Until it gets out of the way. As the anxiety increases and increases until it's done. You can't hang up. You can't be like, call, because then it's like, Because then they know.
Starting point is 00:30:44 So I don't know if this tip that's online would work for a call that's incoming. This tip that's been shared. Oh, it might do. We can try it out. Now, this tip that's been shared is for when you're on a call with someone. Yeah. And you're over talking to them and you just want to be out of this call. But you don't want to seem rude by just hanging up.
Starting point is 00:31:04 By saying, call ended. Yeah. Now, I'm being told that I should be calling the ZM line to do this, but I think this is mobile to mobile because it's about what displays on your phone. Yeah, yeah. Because if you hang up, it's call ended and it'll just go back to the stream, but you want it to say call failed.
Starting point is 00:31:20 Yeah, so this is the thing here. This is a way for it to say call failed instead of call ended. Yeah, which will mean that the person receiving it will be like, oh, they must have gone out of reception. Something's happened. Yeah, yeah. Their phone must have died. Because that's the vibe, right?
Starting point is 00:31:32 And this is done by putting it on flight mode while you're on the call. Yeah. That makes so much sense. Can you – because you can still, when you're on a call, access the rest of your phone, can't you? Yeah, you can. Yeah. Okay. Okay, so you're going to try this. So, Vaughan, you're on a call, access the rest of your phone, can't you? Yeah, you can. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:31:46 Okay, so you're going to try this. So, Vaughan, you're going to call. I'm going to call you. And this is why. I'm going to put it on mute. You'll all get feedback. Put it on mute. Stop being a baby.
Starting point is 00:31:56 Put it on mute, because then we're going to live it. We're going to live it. Okay, yeah, we can live it. You're about to be knocked off my favorites page with this attitude. I'm going to answer your call now. Yes. And then you're going to flight mode me. Yeah. To see live it. You're about to be knocked off my favorites page with this attitude. I'm going to answer your call now. Yes. And then you're going to flight mode me. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:08 To see what it says. In the middle of the conversation. Okay, ringing. Yeah. God, I've really got to update your picture too. What? Is it cute or not? It's that one where you're a zombie.
Starting point is 00:32:16 Oh, yeah. That's good. At Halloween like eight years ago. A long time ago. Okay. See, I muted it. Look. Oh, nothing there.
Starting point is 00:32:22 God, it's your first bloody day. Okay, so we've been on the call now for 12 seconds. Okay, and I'm about to aeroplane mode. Okay. Aeroplane, airplane, flight mode. Yeah, flight mode. I'm about to flight mode you. Okay.
Starting point is 00:32:32 Anna three, Anna two, Anna, you've been flight mode. It said call ended. Well, this was a waste of time, but we're one break closer to the end of the day, so let's just carry on. So it didn't say call failed. It didn't say call failed. It didn't say call fail. What about if you call me and then I flight mode while you're calling? Okay, I'm calling you now.
Starting point is 00:32:50 To see what that says. Okay, I'm calling you now. Flight mode. Oh, yes. So you've. I can't tell you to call. It just went to voicemail. Okay, so that's pretty much the same.
Starting point is 00:33:00 That's the same as diverting them to voicemail. Okay, so they'll know that you've dodged them that way. What if. What if? What's another one? No, I don't think this works. I think the internet's lied to us. Unless it's an American phone thing and it's different. Maybe.
Starting point is 00:33:13 Well, this is disappointing, isn't it? Because I need this information. I'm constantly trying to get out of phone calls. Well, I think that, as you say, though, I've got like 2% battery left. Be real quick, it could end at any stage. Yeah, my battery's about to die. Yeah. And then just hang up.
Starting point is 00:33:27 And then just hang up on them. Or just don't answer. Now we've revealed our secrets on air. We can't. None of us can do this. But see, I only answer my phone if it's like someone I know or want to talk to. I reckon the best way is when someone's calling, you don't want to talk to them, you just wait it out. And then get back to your game.
Starting point is 00:33:45 And then get back to your game. Or Facebook. Yeah. I had someone I know on Facebook put up in their status being like I'm just going to start randomly FaceTiming people to check in.
Starting point is 00:33:53 You know I don't want to be the person that calls when they want something. I was like don't call me. Now I sort of did that. I was like I want to reach out more to my friends. I haven't.
Starting point is 00:34:01 It's April. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. ZM. From iHeartRadio. This is the latest. Olivia Rodrigo.
Starting point is 00:34:14 She's taken the world by storm with her hit Driver's Licence. We play it often on this channel. It's an absolute banger. On this channel? Channel. We do, we do. We do.
Starting point is 00:34:29 Skyrocketed to number one on the charts. So she's very excited about her driver's license. You know what she's got now? Her very first parking ticket. She shared it on her social media, saying, damn, this driving shit isn't all fun and games. So now that she's got her driver's licence and her very first parking ticket,
Starting point is 00:34:51 I've helped her out a little bit with her next hit. It's called Parking Ticket. Okay, listen. I got a parking ticket last week Because I didn't pay I stopped my vehicle parking ticket last week because I didn't pay I Stopped my vehicle and then I just walked away When I came back I saw it
Starting point is 00:35:17 Flapping on my window screen I only just got my license So I could see my man And then he dumped my ass So I need you ticket men to understand That I didn't know how the machine worked I mean, I'm only 18 The sign said 60 minutes, but I bumped into a friend and got talking. My mom is gonna be so pissed, cause this is actually her car. I'll be walking, cause I didn't know that the chalk meant I was out of time
Starting point is 00:36:09 And now I've been stung with my very first $12 fine Holy shit! Wow! It's her new song. Wow! That's her second number one hit. You requested the instrumental. We had no idea that was coming.
Starting point is 00:36:29 And on the spot. Oh, so good. I'm going to request some royalties from Olivia. Brilliant. And if she can't be bothered recording it, I'll just do it because I'm pretty sure I'm getting close to her voice there. Yeah, it was good. Palm point.
Starting point is 00:36:42 Wow. That is the latest. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. On point. Wow. That is the latest. Am I a bad person today? We're asking, on behalf of a bride, am I a bad person for not wanting a specific dude as best man? He can be in the bridal party, but I don't want him as best man. He's a snarky son of a gun.
Starting point is 00:37:06 He said things about me in the past, etc, etc. I feel like if I knew what these snarky comments were, I'd be able to make more of a definite call. Were they just little things that she was like, oh, that kind of was annoying, or really like, you've deeply offended my morals here. I'm erring on, just let him be
Starting point is 00:37:22 the best man. It's his best childhood friend. Just have a word to him and say, look, ran it in on the day. I think so too. So what do you think? Is she a bad person? Kylie, what do you think? Yeah, no, I think she is a bad person. She's a bit of a control freak maybe as well.
Starting point is 00:37:38 Okay, but aren't most people when it's their wedding day because you want it to be perfect? Yeah, I understand it's perfect, but that's his choice as a best man. It's his childhood friend. She's got to trust him on it. Do you have a partner at the moment? Yep, I'm married and I went through a similar situation as what she did.
Starting point is 00:37:55 Oh, okay. So, like, was the best man, did he do anything even slightly out of line on the wedding day? Apart from forget the wedding rings? No, that was all good. See? You've got to have a trusty individual. My line-up was Fletch taking care of all the details because he's a details guy.
Starting point is 00:38:16 He keeps me on track. I know he can sort it out. Callum, who is one of my oldest friends, who is absolutely useless, but he had to be there. He had to be there. I couldn't have done it without him but he had to be there. He had to be there. I couldn't have done it without him. He had to be there. He would have left the rings.
Starting point is 00:38:28 He would have forgotten everything. I would have trusted him with anything, but he had to be there. And my friend Kim, who would have been a perfect backup and support for admin, should it have been required. You've got to have that lineup.
Starting point is 00:38:38 You do. Kylie thinks you're cool. Kaz, what do you think? Is she a bad person? Yes, she is. Straight for the throat. Why do you think? Is she a bad person? Yes, she is. Straight for the throat. Why do you think she is? Because a wedding
Starting point is 00:38:50 isn't just about the bride and the groom is quite entitled to choose his own party without the help of his bride. Very, very rarely do men say, well, no, I don't like that one or I don't want that one. You know, she's a bitch.
Starting point is 00:39:02 So as women, we need to butt out and let our men make their own decisions. We trust them enough. As a man, I can say we've got a track record of making terrible decisions. This is true. We love you anyway. Yeah, I know. You're fools.
Starting point is 00:39:20 You're fools that got a track record of making terrible decisions by trusting our terrible decisions. Brilliant. Hey, Kaz, sexy call. Some other text messages on it. Somebody said, the best man always needs to back the relationship and needs to be a big fan of the union.
Starting point is 00:39:32 If he doesn't, his heart's not going to be in it. You need this guy 100% of the way. Speech and duties leading up to it. Someone said, I'm getting married soon. The best man roasted my fiance at his 21st, but he totally backs our relationship. So this was the Best man roasted my fiance at his 21st. Right. But he totally backs our relationship. So this was the best man roasting the male who is.
Starting point is 00:39:49 Right. It was a roasting at his 21st. But however, he totally backs our relationship. He has, however, been given a warning regarding the speech. And I'm honestly looking forward to it because he's the right guy because he backs us as a couple. 100%. Yeah, right.
Starting point is 00:40:03 Nice. We took it to Instagram. A bit of a poll. Is she a bad person? 60% not a bad person. Wow. She's a bad person. I don't think she's a bad person,
Starting point is 00:40:15 but I would trust the person I'm about to marry for the rest of my life that they will do the right thing and make sure it doesn't turn into an absolute garbage fest. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. We're talking about affairs. And forgiveness. There's people listening in the car. Whenever we talk about affairs or infidelity,
Starting point is 00:40:40 there's people who will change the station because they find it too awkward to listen. Yeah, they're driving to work with their partner and they're like I feel like some classic rock I'm not going to change the station Because we said it was going to happen and then that Justin Bieber song played they're like oh I don't like this song
Starting point is 00:40:54 But they love it And they know this is coming it must be an awkward conversation Well we need to take this with a grain of salt because this is a study conducted by the website Ashley Madison. If you don't know what Ashley Madison is, it's a dating website for married people, for discreet dating.
Starting point is 00:41:13 Cheating, hookups. Cheating, hookups, organised infidelity. So we're talking about who is more likely to forgive. Apparently men are more likely to forgive women after discovering that they have been cheating. Which feels right. If you'd asked me to choose a sex, I would say it would be men that would forgive.
Starting point is 00:41:35 Would forgive women. Because it can be more transactional for them and less emotional, can't it? Exactly. We talked about this before. For women, they put their heart and their soul into every sexual encounter. That's not true.
Starting point is 00:41:47 You almost got through the sentence without laughing. I was like, no, no, no, no. I was 20 once. But yeah, they're saying that 80, according to the data on this website, 85% of females who have cheated said that they'd
Starting point is 00:42:03 been forgiven by their partners as opposed to 80% of men hadn't. Right. So there's a bit of a big old gap there. 85% said, women, just go for it. Just do it. Life's short. You only live once.
Starting point is 00:42:20 You know what I mean? So 80% of men forgave their female partners. So they're going from the other perspective. It's a bit confusing. Right, yeah. So 85% of men had forgiven their female partners for an affair, according to this website where people are like, let's have an affair.
Starting point is 00:42:40 But 20% of women had forgiven men. Also, like you said before, you've got to put the filter on it This is on a website where people are having affairs Yeah Yeah Which, you know And predominantly a male database of dudes being like Oh yeah, nah, I'd be cool with it if my wife did it
Starting point is 00:42:58 I'd be cool with it You wouldn't be Yeah And would you be cool if your fiancé cheated? Would you forgive? Absolutely No, no, because this is the thing Would you be cool if your fiancé cheated? Would you forgive? Absolutely. No, because this is the thing.
Starting point is 00:43:12 They're reminding us that when faced with the idea of cheating, men often focus on the physical thing. That's the upsetting image is the physical idea of their female partner, if they're straight, having a physical interaction with another man. Whereas women, on the other hand, are more interested in the emotional impact. And I think I'd be like that. I think I'd be like, okay, I can probably get past the physical element of it, but the deceit is the part that I couldn't.
Starting point is 00:43:38 What about you? I won't ask you. You don't have a partner. No. Born shut, eh? Free to roam or keep in a cage? Locked up. Locked up and caged. She's not free range?
Starting point is 00:43:48 She's not locked up in a cage. She's a free range chicken. She's a chicken. Into the worms? Peck about in the panic, but she always knows there's going to be a couple of mealworms in the... What a weird, what a horrible analogy. And she's just messaged me saying,
Starting point is 00:44:03 I've just started listening. Yeah, there's always a cup of pellets in the bedroom. That's confusing. There's a couple of NRM pick and lay, which is an actual brand of chicken food because I purchased some recently. There's a big sack. There's a big sack. I'm a big sack of pick and lay.
Starting point is 00:44:20 I'm ready to be eaten, picked at, nibbled on. Sade, I hope that's crystal clear for you. Where the barriers are. What was not crystal clear about that confusing chicken analogy. All right, 13 past eight. Next on the show, we need to talk about a dinner reservation that's been made. It's got very heated. Turn the volume down.
Starting point is 00:44:41 We might be some yelling. We're talking about affairs. And forgiveness. Always imagine forgiveness. There's people like listening in the car. Whenever we talk about affairs or like infidelity, there's people who will change the station because they find it too awkward to listen.
Starting point is 00:44:56 Yeah, they're driving to work with their partner and they're like, I feel like some classic rock. I'm not going to change the station. Because we said it was going to happen and then that Justin Bieber song played, they're like, oh, I don't like this song. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:08 But they love it. And they know this is coming. It must be an awkward conversation. Well, we need to take this with a grain of salt because this is a study conducted by the website Ashley Madison. If you don't know what Ashley Madison is, it's a dating website for married people, for discreet dating.
Starting point is 00:45:25 Cheating, hookups. Cheating, hookups, organised infidelity. So we're talking about who is more likely to forgive. Apparently men are more likely to forgive women after discovering that they have been cheating. Which feels right. If you'd asked me to choose a sex, I would say it would be men that would forgive.
Starting point is 00:45:48 Would forgive women. Because it can be more transactional for them and less emotional, can't it? Exactly. We talked about this before. For women, they put their heart and their soul into every sexual encounter. That's not true.
Starting point is 00:46:00 You almost got through the sentence without laughing. I was like, no, no, no, no. I was 20 once. But yeah, they're saying that 80, according to the data on this website, 85% of females who have cheated said that they'd been forgiven by their partners as opposed to 80% of men hadn't.
Starting point is 00:46:22 Right. So that's pretty, there's a bit of a big old gap there 85 percent so women just go for it just do it life's short you only live once you know what i mean so yeah so 80 of men forgave their female partners so they're going from the other perspective it's a bit right yeah so uh 80 so 85 percent of of men had forgiven their female partners for an affair, according to this website where people are like, let's have an affair. But 20% of women had forgiven men. Also, like you said before, you've got to put the filter on it.
Starting point is 00:46:59 This is on a website where people are having affairs. Yeah. Yeah. Which, you know. And predominantly a male database of dudes been like, oh, yeah, no, I'd be cool with it if my wife did it. I'd be cool with it. They wouldn't be.
Starting point is 00:47:11 You wouldn't be. Yeah. And would you be cool if your fiance cheated? Would you forgive? Absolutely. No, because this is the thing. You know, they're reminding us that when faced with the idea of cheating, men often focus on the physical thing.
Starting point is 00:47:32 That's the upsetting image is the physical idea of their female partner, if they're straight, having a physical interaction with another man. Whereas women, on the other hand, are more interested in the emotional impact. And I think I'd be like that. I think I'd be like, okay, I can probably get past the physical element of it, but the deceit is the part that I couldn't. What about you? I won't ask you.
Starting point is 00:47:53 You don't have a partner. No. Born shut, eh? Free to roam or keep in a cage? Locked up. Locked up and caged. She's not free range? She's not locked up and caged. She's a free range chicken.
Starting point is 00:48:05 She's a chicken. Into the worms not locked up in a cage. She's a free range chicken. She's a, yeah. She can. Into the worms? Peck about in the panic, but she always knows there's going to be a couple of mealworms in the. What a weird, what a horrible analogy. And she's just messaged me saying, I've just started listening. Yeah, there's always a cup of pellets in the bedroom.
Starting point is 00:48:19 That's confusing. There's a couple of NRM pick and lay, which is an actual brand of chicken food because I purchased some recently. There's a couple of NRM Peck and Lay, which is an actual brand of chicken food because I purchased some recently. There's a big sack. I'm a big sack of Peck and Lay. I'm ready to be eaten, pecked at, nibbled on. Sade, I hope that's crystal clear for you where the barriers are. What was not crystal clear about that confusing chicken analogy.
Starting point is 00:48:46 All right, 13 past eight. Next on the show, we need to talk about a dinner reservation that's been made. It's got very heated. Turn the volume down. We might be some yelling. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. I got an email recently saying, and I don't sign up to too many email out places, but one of my favourite restaurants
Starting point is 00:49:07 in Auckland emailed out and the subject line was like, sad news. I'm like, you son of a bitch. No.
Starting point is 00:49:15 They're like, we're closing. We're closing. We're shutting down. Great restaurant. I'll say what it is. It's Woodpecker Hill. It's in Parnell.
Starting point is 00:49:22 Shade and I went there once for an anniversary and we were just like, oh my God. And it's our joint favourite restaurant. It's in Parnell. Shade and I went there once for an anniversary and we were just like, oh my God. And it's our joint favourite restaurant. If we're like, we need to go for a nice meal, where are we going to go? Woodpecker Hill.
Starting point is 00:49:31 Treat yourself. What's the cuisine? We've been. It was where we had one of our first have you been paying attention lunches. Oh, that nice place. Yeah. This is bloody nice.
Starting point is 00:49:42 It's bloody nice. Great cocktails. You, As I recall Weren't driving So I was knocking them back And then I was straight On a flight to Wellington
Starting point is 00:49:49 So Like lovely Lovely So they email And I say to Shade I've got terrible news And she's like What's happened
Starting point is 00:49:57 I'm like what the hell She's like No Vaughn no And I show the email And we're like no So immediately We've got to go again Before it closes
Starting point is 00:50:04 Oh right So this was a couple Of weeks ago And so Shade's like And I show the email and we're like, no. So immediately we're like, well, we've got to go again before it closes. Oh, right. So this was a couple of weeks ago. And so Shardé's like, I'll make the booking. We'll do it Friday night. I said, that suits. And she said, Mark and Jana will come. They're our good friends.
Starting point is 00:50:16 And we're like eating lots. Mark and I eat lots. It's always good to go to a restaurant with another person that eats lots. Because then you don't feel bad. You don't feel bad about eating lots. We're eating lots. We're eating lots. Yeah. We always eat lots.
Starting point is 00:50:28 And so it's booked in. It's done. And then this Friday is also, we're getting a little bit of a ZM walkthrough of, what is that place called? The Happy Place? Yeah, the most Instagrammable place on earth. Yeah, like great photos and stuff. So that's happening.
Starting point is 00:50:41 And you guys are like, well, we're going to go to that. And I was like, well, we're going to go to that. And then we're going to go to dinner afterwards. And you're like, well, where are you going for dinner? And I'm like, Woodpecker Hill,
Starting point is 00:50:48 because it's shutting down. And Fletch is like, I haven't been. And I was like, well, you can join our booking. When Hayley's keen. Before the marriage. And I hopped on in there.
Starting point is 00:50:57 Hayley's keen. Then all of a sudden, Fletch is inviting James, who I love. Don't get me wrong. Yeah, well, everyone loves James. Everyone loves James. Everyone loves James.
Starting point is 00:51:04 And somebody else is added to the booking. So now it's gone from four to eight. So yesterday I needed to ring Woodpecker and change the reservation. That'll open on Monday. Fair enough, hospitality Monday. They have it off busy weekend. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:15 So I leave a message. And then today I arrive in and Fletcher's like, yeah, well, I don't even know if dinner's happening because this useless bastard can't change the reservation. And I was like, well, I did change the reservation. And Fletcher's like, oh, great. I'll put it on my phone. What time is the reservation?
Starting point is 00:51:29 And I said, the only time we could get a reservation was 8.30. And all of a sudden. PM to clarify. It's a late, don't get me wrong, it's a late dinner. And I was planning on like a mid-afternoon cheese platter to get me through because that is a late dinner. But it's a late dinner. And I was planning on like a mid-afternoon cheese pie to get me through because that is a late dinner. But it's a Friday night.
Starting point is 00:51:48 The restaurant's shutting down. It's my favourite restaurant. We've got a babysitter. All of the stuff's lining up. And all of a sudden, Mr. Not-Even-Really-Invited is like, it's too late for dinner. It's too late for dinner. It is too late for dinner.
Starting point is 00:52:05 I just feel like the whole day is too spread out. That's my opinion. It's a long day. We're up at four, then we're working till, you know, ten-ish. Then there's a window. We're going to go to the gym. Then there's another sort of weird window before we go to Happy Place. Nap in the window.
Starting point is 00:52:18 And then after Happy Place, we've got to wait about three hours before we get any food in our bellies. You go for a drink, don't you? I will again remind you, I did not invite either of you to dinner. You invited yourselves. And we're both like, can you make it earlier? Can you bring a changer today? I'm like, I couldn't book it earlier online.
Starting point is 00:52:37 I've looked online. They do have a spot at 4.30. 4.30 is better than 8.30 for dinner. If we had to do a ridiculous dinner time, I'd lean more towards the 4 than the 8. What time is this happy place thing? That's at like 5. You can't enjoy a restaurant's final meal in half an hour.
Starting point is 00:52:54 That's barely enough time to eat the delicious spiced nuts. I'm in bed at like 9. I'm on rest home hours here. I know you're on rest home hours. This menu is luring me towards an 8 o'clock dinner. It's exquisite. 8.30. It's an absolute crime.
Starting point is 00:53:10 You get there at 8.30. By the time they cook the meal, you're not eating until quarter past nine. Nine. Quarter quickly. Have a cocktail. Relax. Have an afternoon sleep. Could we ring up earlier and arrive to the food?
Starting point is 00:53:25 I have walked in. I believe our table is already waiting full of food. I think we should change everything to 4.30. You were not invited. You can't hijack. Why don't we go to a different restaurant? And you can go to Woodpecker Hill on another day. 100%.
Starting point is 00:53:41 No, we can't. It's shutting down. But is it shutting down on Friday? It's like No, no we can't it's shutting down. But wait is it shutting down on Friday? It's like the last time we could go. You don't have to come. It's very rude
Starting point is 00:53:52 that you're not It's absolutely rude. What are we going to do? We're all going to go to Happy Place together and then just part ways. You said we could come but then you're making
Starting point is 00:54:00 dinner so late it's wild. It's isolating us from the rest of the group. Again? Again. You don't have to come. It's wild. It's isolating us from the rest of the group. Again. Again. You don't have to come. It's too late for dinner.
Starting point is 00:54:09 But we want to come. We don't want to come that late. We'll go at 4.30 then. I'm not going to be there at 4.30. Well, does it make sense to dine separately? It doesn't suit the existing party. Right. Okay.
Starting point is 00:54:20 We're not all changing plans for you. Yeah. Come if you want. I don't. Oh, no. You've got to come now because you. Yeah. Come if you want. I don't. Oh, no. You've got to come now because you may be ringing change the reservation. I'm not going to be made to look a fool on the final time I'm down at my favorite restaurant. By ringing up and downsizing the book.
Starting point is 00:54:37 Because they'll get the message and then they'll be like, okay, change it to eight. And then the next message will be like, hi, it's me again. Change it back. Two of our party have fallen asleep. They said 8.30 is too late to eat. Alright, you just don't, well, oh God. This is to be resolved.
Starting point is 00:54:54 This is TBR. This is why I don't like organising things. It's simple. It is weird that you've been in charge of organising, because if you had booked earlier, you might have got a better time. Yeah, let's look for a 7, 7.30. We booked two weeks ago.
Starting point is 00:55:12 It was the time you could book online. Well, I think you should do something about it. Do they know how many radio personalities are going to turn off? Well, that's one. The end. It's not about going to Blueberries Inn. They're not shutting down. It's about going to the restaurant that will cease to be.
Starting point is 00:55:30 It's got a very special place in our heart. It's our favourite couple's restaurant. 6 o'clock and 6.15. They can do 8 people at this one. Don't come. You don't deserve it. You two, piss off to wherever you want to eat. Tonight on TVNZ 2 Have You Been Paying Attention?
Starting point is 00:55:50 is on 8.30. Yeah, it was recorded last night when Vaughan and I were friends. And it's a really great episode. Who's guesting tonight? We've got two lots of guest quiz masters. We had Jane Watson from the Silver Ferns. She is so lovely. What a woman. She plays for the Cannterbury Tic Tac.
Starting point is 00:56:07 And we had the creators of Creamery, which is a juicy looking new show. So it's like a dark, it's going to be on TV then on demand. It looks really good. Dark comedy where a pandemic wipes out all the men. By the way, they wrote this before there was a pandemic. Crazy, yeah. And then it started happening. And they're like in this community of women
Starting point is 00:56:25 Trying to re-establish society Well, Catch, have you been paying attention tonight? 8.30 on Tuesdays on TVNZ2 And if you'd like to be in the audience You can text Hayley to 9696 We'll fire you back the details on how you can get to one of those Filmings on Mondays Right now though, time for
Starting point is 00:56:40 Fact of the Day Day, day, day, day! Today's Fact of the Day is about the Bellagio Fountain in Las Vegas. Oh, yeah. You know the big one that does the fountain show? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's music and there's lights. Was it very similar to the Dubai fountain? Dubai's
Starting point is 00:57:09 way bigger. Way bigger. I feel like the Dubai fountain's huge. Yeah. Okay, and now I need to know how many litres of water are in the Dubai fountain. Because I remember we, a while ago, we did a week of broadcasts with Dubai Tourism and we actually ziplined through the fountain. Oh, fun.
Starting point is 00:57:27 It was incredible. And I remember they dropped a stat on how much the fountain cost and it's ridiculous amounts of money. Oh, really? Because it's time to music. Amazing. So at any given moment at the Dubai fountain when it's going, there are 83,000
Starting point is 00:57:44 litres of water in the air. In the air fountain when it's going, there are 83,000 litres of water in the air. In the air? When it's going? And that's in the air. That's 83 tonnes of water at any given time. How much water is that? Well, that's a huge, I can't find exactly how big. It's a huge, giant.
Starting point is 00:58:00 Oh, now I wish that was today's spectator. I need to know how many pools worth. Oh, well, 83,000 milk bottles of one litre milk bottles. That's a lot. That's a lot of litres. 83,000 in the area. That's not today's fact of the day, but that's good, isn't it? That's a good fact, yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:16 Today's fact of the day is about the Bellagio Fountain in Las Vegas. And the fact that every year it loses. You made me distracted. Now I've lost how many litres it is because it's in gallons. Oh, yeah, gallons. Gallons. Gallons and pounds. Stop it, America.
Starting point is 00:58:36 You're the only country. You're one of the only countries. Inches and miles. Oh, my God. Grow up. Yeah. And when you're writing down that. Edit to the list of things you need to sort out.
Starting point is 00:58:44 When you're writing down the date, putting the month before the day in that month, grow up. Yeah. No. Grow up. Yeah. And when you're writing down that... Add it to the list of things you need to sort out. When you're writing down the date, putting the month before the day in that month, grow up. No. Grow up, America. It sounds bigger in centimetres anyway. Yeah. It does.
Starting point is 00:58:52 Way better. 45 million litres of water evaporates from the Bellagio Fountain every year. Whoa. New Zealand needs some of that. We just pop my pen up. It might be quite heavily chlorinated, though. In the desert, that's insane. Yeah, it's a lot of that. It might be quite heavily chlorinated though. In the desert, that's insane.
Starting point is 00:59:07 Yeah, it's a lot of water. Wow. Vegas really gets through the water. So the entire eight and a half acre lake holds... I need to change 22. I was going to say 22. Lots of gallons. 83 million litres of water.
Starting point is 00:59:23 Whoa. 83 million litres of water in the Bellagio's lake. And every year it needs to have 45 million litres of water added back in. Wow. So over half of the water from the Bellagio fountain evaporates through wind, sun and leaky pipes. And when it's spraying, it jumps out of the fountain onto the sidewalk.
Starting point is 00:59:48 Yeah. And then evaporates. Or onto your clothes, your face, your hair. Yeah. And you smell like chlorine for the rest of the day. Yeah. You get a bit close, fall in, you get out, you drag a couple of litres of water out with you.
Starting point is 00:59:58 Yeah, and your socks and your shoes. And it evaporates. So today's fact of the day is that every year, that giant fountain at the Bellagio in Las Vegas And it evaporates. So today's fact of the day is that every year, that giant fountain at the Bellagio in Las Vegas needs an extra 45 million litres of water added due to evaporation. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The Podcast Executive intern Anya
Starting point is 01:00:33 has been going to some viewings of some homes It's always weird when you go into someone's like existing place, isn't it? What? Yeah Like into someone's home and it's not yours and you're having a nosy like, existing place, isn't it? What? Yeah. Like, into someone's home, and it's not yours,
Starting point is 01:00:48 and you're having a nosy. Right. Because you're either... You mean like an established, fully furnished someone's house house. Yeah, like, either to buy it, or because you're there to, like, get the flat. It's just weird. I would like to know if it's kosher to open up wardrobes.
Starting point is 01:01:01 I was just about to say this. Absolutely. If you're about to make the biggest investment of your life, you need to know how big the wardrobe is, how big the pantry is, all the cupboards in the bathrooms. My boyfriend always tells me off. He's like, you can't do that. That's where they put all their stuff. But if you're going to buy it, you want to know that your stuff's going to go in there.
Starting point is 01:01:16 It could be some mouldy, rotten cupboard. I think if I knew that someone was going to come around, like a new flatmate was going to look at my room to rent it or to buy, I would expect people to be going into wardrobes and cupboards. So I would hide anything bad. But not furniture, like
Starting point is 01:01:31 if you had a sideboard table. Oh no. You can't be going through those drawers. No, because you're not buying that, are you? And I just really want to reiterate, no bedside tables either. That second drawer down, that's... Even if you live there, you shouldn't go in there.
Starting point is 01:01:45 Not for you. Second drawer down or top drawer? Just for me, bottom drawer. Bottom drawer. Okay, right. Get out of there. So it was at a house viewing that you noticed something in someone's house. Yes.
Starting point is 01:01:58 We walked into a house and the lounge is the first thing you see in the front door. And right above the fireplace was a wonderful A2, I'd say, size. A2, that's, so I'm thinking A4, that's A4 times times times hape, say, like a big music or a movie poster size.
Starting point is 01:02:22 Yep, pretty bloody large self nude portrait glamour shot Music or a movie poster size. Yep, pretty bloody large. Self-nude portrait glamour shot situation. Of the lady that owned the house. Yes. Nude, nude. Nude. Nipple.
Starting point is 01:02:38 It was tastefully done. Like Fancy, was it Fancy like a glamour shot? Yep. A curvaceous bum but no fanny. Hayley Jane Sproul. I mean, it was the question everybody wanted answered. I wanted to know. How new. I wanted to know.
Starting point is 01:02:53 Okay, no. Right. No, there was a tasteful cloth being draped. Right, over the nipples. Yes, but it really took us by surprise. So you could hit the gram with this. It sounds like it would pass gram community standards and guidelines. I'd imagine so.
Starting point is 01:03:10 Okay. Let's go and paint the picture of what we're all seeing. I never understand why people have self-portraits of themselves. Yeah, I understand maybe having some smaller framed photos of moments, holidays, loved ones. Family photos, sure. But like a piece of artwork of yourself. Especially when it's huge.
Starting point is 01:03:28 It's very absurd to me. Yeah, and it's huge. Even if you were super happy with your body, maybe you'd lost heaps of weight or whatever. Absolutely, do the shoot. Do the shoot. But putting it above the fireplace in the lounge where everyone that comes over,
Starting point is 01:03:42 including strangers at a viewing, get to see this. And it was so big that I think everybody who walked into that house or a courier who saw it, you'd have to comment on it. Like it was so big,
Starting point is 01:03:54 you couldn't avoid it. Glamour shots. It was rather unusual. Okay, here's a question we would like to ask on the back of this this morning. What is the weirdest thing you've seen in someone's house? Like a stranger's house or anyone?
Starting point is 01:04:09 Any, any. You go to a friend's, a flat, a party, whatever. The weirdest thing you've seen in someone's house and you've just gone, okay. That's there. Is there a giant lizard tank in a house once? Doing open homes. Right. Somebody had a giant, like a huge lizard tank. Have you seen open homes right somebody had a giant
Starting point is 01:04:25 like a huge lizard tank have you seen that lizard in the dairy that video that's been going around this way yeah it's like a giant
Starting point is 01:04:32 iguana in Thailand climbing the shelves it's like a Komodo dragon or a water monitor or something it's a huge lizard oh yeah
Starting point is 01:04:37 that was great great video but it wasn't that big or no little no no no the lizard wasn't huge the tank was The tank was.
Starting point is 01:04:45 The tank was huge. Oh, right. Like, you know when you see, like, aquariums that are like a wall? Yeah. It was like that. Oh, wow. It was huge. Full of lizards.
Starting point is 01:04:54 Well, it had like, I think I saw like four lizards in there. Right. The bedded ones, the bedded dragons, is that a lizard thing? Yeah. I'm pretty sure they said bedded dragons. That would sort out the fly situation, wouldn't it, though? That would be a good... Are you thinking of frogs?
Starting point is 01:05:06 Do lizards not eat flies? These ones, I don't think. Don't they? Yeah, I thought they went bleh, bleh. They went bleh. With their tongue. No, they go bleh. But they have a little tongue.
Starting point is 01:05:16 They don't have the big shooty tongue. You're thinking of a chameleon. They've got the shooty tongue. Not all lizards... Are you guys under the impression that every lizard has a shooty tongue? Look, YouTube. Lizard eating a five. Yes, I know some do, but you're impression that every lizard has a shooty tongue? YouTube. Lizard eating a five. Yes, I know some do, but you're saying that every lizard has a shooty tongue.
Starting point is 01:05:30 Not every lizard has a shooty tongue. Yeah, no, look here. Listen. Okay. The common house lizard is naturally. You're talking about a gecko. Insects are one of their favorite things to eat. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:41 They often eat snails, spiders, flies. You said it was sort of the fly situation. To me, I'm now picturing the bed of dragons scaling the wall in the kitchen slowly like a sort of a Fijian resort gecko. No, I'm just worried about mum putting a bit of chicken out on the bench and the flies getting on it. But the lizards are taking care of it. The lizards are not going to monitor that.
Starting point is 01:05:59 Not all lizards have sticky out tongues. It was a sticky time. So we want to know, on the back of Executive Internania, spotting a tasteful nude portrait in somebody's lounge. What's the weirdest thing you've seen at somebody else's house? The weirdest. Let's go to Chelsea. Chelsea, what did you spot? Well, I went to pick up a bit of a trade me purchase a few years ago and I walked into someone's lounge and literally was greeted by a zoo of taxidermied animals. That was horrific.
Starting point is 01:06:30 Oh my God, Chelsea, I've had this. I went round to someone's house and it was like walls and walls of it. I was like... I would never... This is why I don't do pick-ups or drop-offs. It's post only. I don't want to... Yeah, it's post only.
Starting point is 01:06:43 I don't care if you live in the next apartment building to mine. I'm posting it. I don't want to see, yeah, it's post only. I don't care if you live in the next apartment building to mine. I'm posting it. I don't want to deal with people. Chelsea, what kind of animals were there? Oh, they had everything you can imagine. Probably from the lizard you were talking about earlier to like the toy poodle that was actually the family pet to the cat. And they were all on shelves and everything.
Starting point is 01:07:02 Like, yeah, it was horrendous. I was like, I just need to get out of here. This place is creepy. I didn't care about my trophy purchase anymore. I need to get out of here before I am one of these taxidermy things. Exactly. Executive Intern Anya spotted a tasteful nude A2 size. Glamour shot.
Starting point is 01:07:20 Yeah, in someone's lounge. All your friends are seeing that. Yeah, I know. All your friends are seeing that. If I know All your friends are seeing that If you're doing that, you want them to see it Yeah Yeah, the hanging of it Get it done, sure, that's all on
Starting point is 01:07:32 Or put it in the bedroom Because your friends won't really go into your bedroom, right? Yeah, because that's your sexy place Yeah I don't want to see a photo of me during sexy times No, no I'm happy to imagine I look completely differently For everybody involved.
Starting point is 01:07:46 Yeah. So some text messages in on what people have seen in other houses. It was weird. It might not be weird to some people, but I walked in
Starting point is 01:07:52 and there was two magpies in a cage talking. Oh, that's weird. I feel like they're not cage birds. They can be. I know they can be taught to speak. They're quite clever birds. Magpies.
Starting point is 01:08:02 I didn't know that. The old magpie. Okay. But not native to New Zealand. No. Problematic in the dive bombing season. Somebody said, I went into a house
Starting point is 01:08:13 and there was a naked photo of the three kids who by the looks were in their 20s. Boy, girl, boy from the waist up sandwich. And the kids weren't wearing tops. Now,
Starting point is 01:08:24 a painting or a photo? Photo. Hang on. Portrait. Oi, girl, boy. So, as a man with a brother and a sister, I can't imagine anything worse than being sister's breasts. In your back, I assume.
Starting point is 01:08:39 Well, someone's got breasts in the back. Why is this happening? Why is this a thing? They're wearing pants, so the bottom half's taken care of. That's all covered up. But still, I don't even like getting that close to my siblings. Even if you're close, I don't like touching them. No, yuck. All right, Sharon, what's the weirdest thing that you've seen in somebody's house?
Starting point is 01:08:56 Well, it's actually in the place that we've been renting for the last two months. Okay. And it's a rather large urinal with saloon doors into it. What? I always wondered growing up when we had a flat and it was all lads, I was like, why aren't there more urinals in houses? And then you smell a urinal and you're like, gotcha. Yeah, yeah, my daughter has banned the use of it.
Starting point is 01:09:19 A big pun? My daughter has banned the use of it, yeah, because she can't stand the smell. Oh, banned the use of it. Oh, can't stand the smell Oh ban the use of it I thought you said had been using it No And we were like what? Okay yeah because
Starting point is 01:09:32 It is something Why don't people have them in their houses? Because they stink Yeah but you can flush them But you might as well just use the toilet right? Yes Exactly That's so weird
Starting point is 01:09:41 Thanks you're cool Nina the weirdest thing you've seen in someone's house? Hi, yeah. So I walked into a couple of friends that I met in Australia's house and I'd become good friends with them and I didn't really realise that they were like animal freaks. Oh, yeah. We walked in and there was just like,
Starting point is 01:10:03 I don't know how many snakes, lizards. Oh, no. What kind of snakes were they? Oh, I don't even know. Well, they were like poisonous ones that you just can't touch. Like, they just got them from the wild. Oh, no, no, no, no. They got them from the wild?
Starting point is 01:10:18 Yeah. And then they had, so this is just in the bedroom. So, like, you can get the stench when you walk in. You're like, what is that smell? And they're like, oh, do you want to see the reptile room? And then they had a whole dedicated room for the food, so, my. Oh, my God. Now, so in the bedroom, what did they have in the bedroom?
Starting point is 01:10:40 In the bedroom, so it was like a three-bedroom house. They had their room and then the other two spare bedrooms were Oh no. Yuck. Go to a zoo. And also you've got to warn a person if you're coming over, be like, hey by the way we do have quite a lot of pets. And our entire house. I'm terrified. It was scary.
Starting point is 01:10:58 Oh horrible. Nina, thank you for your call. Zafania, what weird thing did you see in someone else's house? I walked into an artist, it was their gallery slash home, and the lady did beautiful landscapes and animal paintings, but there was a
Starting point is 01:11:14 really dark and moody sex painting on the wall, which was quite different to everything else, and so I asked her about it, and she had painted it, it was of her daughter and son-in-law. Nope. Nope her about it and she had painted it. It was of her daughter and son-in-law. Nope. Nope. Yep. And she had
Starting point is 01:11:30 painted it for them for their wedding and she was holding onto it for them while they were moving house. They don't want that. They don't want that. Now did she get them to pose for it or did she put their hands on somebody else's body?
Starting point is 01:11:45 Okay, no, that's fair enough. Yeah, yeah. I wasn't sure how the father-in-law felt about it hanging up in the house either. Oh, my God. That is a wild thing to do. Because mum's gone to all this effort to paint you something. Can you then say to her, mum, we don't like this? Or just say, mum, that's so inappropriate.
Starting point is 01:12:02 You'd have an accident with it, right? Yeah, as a buddy, thank you for your call. Some more text messages to finish. As a courier driver, one time I went into a house. They said, you'll have to come in here. And I went into the kitchen and they were frying praying mantises on the stovetop. What? Can you eat a praying mantis?
Starting point is 01:12:18 I don't know. Well, we've eaten fried crickets. Praying mantises look bony. Yeah. And even the body parts, yeah, not good. Not good. Went, somebody else said I do building inspections. So if someone's about to buy a house, I will inspect it before the bank signs it off.
Starting point is 01:12:37 What a fantastically interesting job that would be. One time in the roof, there was a purple coffin. And I was like, I've got to look. Oh, cool. Inside the coffin. No. No, no, no, no, no. First of all, how do you get a coffin into the roof space?
Starting point is 01:12:52 You know manholes where you get into your ceiling? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Never very big. Always at a weird angle. Hard to get in even off a ladder. Must have been a big hole. So the purple coffin's in there. They popped it open.
Starting point is 01:13:02 What do you think's in there? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Just storage, books and stuff. Sex toys, whips and chains. Oh! What? Kinky. The lot.
Starting point is 01:13:12 The lot. Wow. Somebody said we were doing an open home. The people selling the home were sitting in the lounge while the open home happened, which is always a bit awkward. I hate that. I hate that. Get out.
Starting point is 01:13:22 Do they not trust people? Yeah, I want to judge your house as well. Yeah. Out loud. Yeah. And we opened the wardrobe and there was a selection of adult fun toys. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:32 Neatly displayed and my guess is five foot tall bong. Oh, okay, right. That's a huge bong. Yeah. Think of your friend that's five foot two. That bong's only just shy. Just shy of them.
Starting point is 01:13:43 They might not be able to smoke the bong. I know. Yeah, hold on. Yeah, because you'd have, because you'd have to angle it for them. Or they'd need a small step ladder. That's a two-hanger.

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