ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 13th April 2021
Episode Date: April 13, 2021Pet owners spend 800 hours doing this Top 6: Things you missed on Fair Go last night Mushroom Suit Popcorn Salad Audio Ninja Warrior Am I a Bad Person?! Early Dinner Fact of the D...ay Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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ZM. Hit music. Lives here. Because it's not compulsory.
But we keep getting these questions like.
You're coming right?
Yeah and you're like.
And Vaughn's got an excuse to get out.
He's got a meeting.
Vaughn's got a meeting.
I've got an excuse.
I'm not a full timer.
Yeah you don't have to care.
I'm a ringer.
You're a fill in yeah.
And we've got the gym at 12.15.
Our gym's later.
No this is a three-hour fucking meeting.
Oh, my God.
I'm not even kidding.
Meetings shouldn't be three hours.
No, nothing needs to take three hours.
So when it starts at 10, it's going to finish at 1.
That is way too long for a meeting.
But I will say, if someone needs to represent breakfast ZDM.
I think it's Fletch.
I feel like you've got the weakest excuse.
I've got the least reason to be there. I don't really work here. It's Matua. Matua Fletch. I feel like you've got the weakest excuse. I've got the least reason
to be there. I don't really work here. It's Matua. Matua Fletch.
That's what they all call you out there.
No, they don't.
Look, you sit behind the big machine.
We're just appendages to the show.
I've been doing this long enough. I don't need to be told
how to do something. Three hours
is a conference, by the way.
You know what? I didn't see any
promise of catering. Catering or an after function.
I'm starving.
It's not hosted by a stand-up comedian.
Oh, dear.
You've got to have your conference hosted by a stand-up.
You absolutely do.
It's the only way.
I've hosted many.
Even if it's got absolutely no ties to your industry whatsoever,
it's got to be hired by Chuckles McGee and the Laugh Factory.
Well, you've only got 15 minutes to come up with a better excuse
than I'm going to the gym
in two hours time. I'm hungry. I'm going to
the supermarket to buy lunch
and then I'm going to the gym. I don't care about a
three hour meeting.
Despite the fact Ross Boss just came in and said, you're
coming, right? I'd really
like you to
come. He put on his serious
earnest plea
See I would go if it was 45 to half an hour
So 45 is the optimal meeting length
I'm looking at this and it says 45 minutes
Maximum
I don't need to hear people war on about
Bullshit
And there must be substantial breaks
If we get here tomorrow though and we hear that it was like
The most fun time ever
It was catered by Fatimers and it was the most fun time ever. No, it won't be. It was catered by Fatimahs and it was wine.
Fatimahs.
It was the Cofters, wasn't it?
It was the Cofters.
It was the Cofters and wine.
Damn it, they do a good Cofter.
If there's Cofters and wine, I'm on board.
Yeah.
Oh, you're going to love Fatimahs new BYO.
Fletchforn and Megan, the podcast.
ZM.
Good morning.
Welcome to the show
Fletch, Fawn and Megan with Hayley Sproul
Woo, Sproul
Sproul
It's how I tell people to pronounce my name
Sproul on the prowl
Okay, right
I'd also like to indicate that that's
How would people say it?
Sproul
Sproul
Sproul
Sproul
Sproul
Sproul
I think it is Sproul Sproul As in theoul. Sproul. Sproul. Sprout. I think it is sproul.
Sproul.
As in the Scottish, but Sprout.
Do you have a tartan?
I'm a lot of Scottish.
Somewhere, are you?
And 3% Swedish.
I don't know if I told you this yesterday.
You were still trying to stop talking about it.
Yeah, you did.
So exotic.
Sproul name and meaning.
I would have thought you were more Swedish.
Thank you.
Yeah. Yeah, I'm taking that as a compliment. I'm giving it as one. Right, have thought you were more Swedish. Thank you. Yeah.
Yeah, I'm taking that as a compliment.
I'm giving it as one.
Right, okay, thank you, yeah.
You migrated to Ireland.
Ireland.
Why don't you just ask, Hayley?
I'm sure you know the origin of your name.
No.
You've got a coat of arms.
Have you never looked up what your name means?
No.
Sproul, the Sproul motto was originally a war...
Oh, no, that's your motto.
Manit in intarium.
It endureth forever.
Oh, you endure forever.
Ever.
Endure?
That sounds horrible.
You'll be in a rest home, you'll be 118.
Oh, my gosh.
No, take me.
The news will come around and they'll be like,
how are you enjoying your 118th birthday?
I've hated the last 40 years.
Yep.
Kill me.
Kill me.
Smother me with a pillow.
Yeah.
I just keep trying to fall asleep on my stomach.
My last name means I sleep on my stomach.
Yes.
Today's my last day.
Roll me onto my stomach
I'm so old
I can't survive a night on my stomach
I sleep on my stomach
Am I going to suffocate myself one day?
You might
Just don't go face down
I'm a side
Fletchers don't have a war cry
House of names
Is a rad website My Yeah, my name means
we made the arrows. The fletches are what
the feathery bits on arrows are.
So you know in Game of Thrones,
I made all the feathers. You personally?
I was personally, yeah.
Wow. Smith's house is by
divine providence, but you don't have one.
I'm a Smith, so I was named after the blacksmiths.
You were in Game of Thrones making all the
shields and...
And what were the sprouts doing?
It doesn't say the origins of the name.
You were the people on the streets on Game of Thrones, I think.
You were sprouted out.
You were sprouted out.
Your legs sprouted wide
for everybody to
muck in.
Wow.
It's been a hard day on the anvil.
The smith needs some relief Come on
On that chat
It certainly is on
Alright, coming up on the show
The top six
In last night, I tell you what
What a power play
From TVNZ
To be like, hey, we made a new show
And we're making it unavoidable to you
Unless you've got TV3.
But TV1 and TV2 simulcast pop stars.
Yeah.
Inescapable.
And they dropped Fear Go, which would have angered the boomers.
Because they need to know what to be angry about.
They do.
They need to know what scams to avoid.
I'm flipping the panties these days.
Yeah.
Who's ripping off old people?
Yeah, which builders are overcharging for an old person's roof?
Exactly.
You need to know these things.
Well, I've got the top six things.
As soon as we've just said three of them,
I'll have to definitely come up with some more.
The top six things you missed on Fair Go last night.
We like to keep you on your toes, Vaughan.
Next on the show.
How many hours do we spend cleaning up after our beloved pets?
ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.
Well, a study's been done now.
Bear in mind, this is in America.
And it has found that the average pet owner spends 832 hours each year
cleaning up after their pets.
That's more than two hours a day.
That's ridiculous, right?
That's absolutely bonkers. But maybe it covers
all sorts of things, like
vacuuming, you know,
because that includes hair and fluff.
You vacuum what, like three times a week?
That's if you're
a nuts crazy vacuum cleaner. You've got a robot
vacuum cleaner. Doesn't that do every...
Robbie doesn't go every day.
Because there is a light bit
of prep involved.
Robbie could do a light clean,
but if you don't prep the area,
Robbie can suck up a cord
or a shoelace or a...
Right, or a poo.
Or a poo.
You've got to...
There can't be a poo inside.
Horses are a two-hour-a-day pet.
Yeah, they're a heavy,
time-invested pet.
I get the feeling from this study
it's a lot of dog owners
that are cleaning up a lot
because you've got a couple of... that are the easiest in the world.
You just let them out.
It depends on the dog.
I've got a friend who's got a Samoy.
And she had dark carpets.
So I think you'd vacuum almost every day.
Yeah, that's crazy.
So 64% of respondents told researchers they always clean their pets after they go outside
to avoid muddy pores on the carpet.
How does that take two hours a day?
We do that, but it's just like sit on this towel
and you dry the feet and then you say,
wait there and he'll sit there for a couple of minutes
and then when they dry, go about his business.
Do you have dog shoes?
Lulu had dog shoes when she burned her pores.
Lulu ran through the Hungy fire.
Because I don't know if this is an American thing,
but 75% of owners have put shoes on their companion, their dog, to avoid a mess.
If they had a fluffy paw.
I've just jumped in on this little article you're reading here.
68% of people say they would instantly break up with someone
who didn't get along with their cat or dog.
I've heard that before.
Do you know, because I thought about this when I was working with Madeline Sami
and I was like, you should come over.
She said, oh, but you've got a cat.
And so we worked out that she'll never be able to come over to my house.
And I was like, I'm mad.
Does she hate cats or is she allergic?
Allergic.
Like fully allergic.
But if she's a good friend, she should take an antihistamine and just get through it.
Well, then maybe she's not a good friend.
Maybe I'm just noticing that now. But imagine having, you know,
falling in love with someone and they had a
severe cat allergy. I'd be like,
we're out. Because you're not getting rid of
your cat, are you? Not in a thousand years.
No. I've got bad news for you cats that
live a thousand years. You've got
how old's Rolly now? Rolly?
Five?
Seven, eight years?
Total.
Yeah.
Left.
You are monsters.
No, our cat just won't die.
He's like, how old is Anakin now?
16?
And I know there's cats that live to like 20 or whatever.
Yeah.
He's gone strong.
Yeah.
It's the power of the dark side that compels him.
I come from a long line of long cat owners.
The Sprawls back in the Game of Thrones days. that can come from. I come from a long line of long cat owners. What was I trying to say here?
The Sprawls,
back in the Game of Thrones days.
The Sprawls,
but my cats growing up,
we had two cats growing up,
Shaq and Ruffy.
Was it named after Shaquille O'Neal?
It was.
I chose the name when I was a kid.
Nice.
Hot play.
They both lived till like 16, 17.
Yeah.
Super old.
So I think Rolly's
going to go the same way.
Oh yeah, cats can live
for a long time.
So fair to say
you're never going to be
with a dog person.
No, but Aaron has
recently been talking
about getting a dog
and Aaron,
big boy Aaron,
big gruff boy Aaron,
wants a corgi.
Oh no.
It's quite cute,
isn't it?
Corgis are cute
when they're puppies
but they're,
nah, I'm not a fan
when they get bigger. Are they a bit dumb? Are they when they're puppies, but they're, no, I'm not a fan when they get bigger.
Are they a bit dumb?
Are they a bit dim?
Yeah, and they're yappy, horrible things.
I don't want a yapper.
Yeah, because I just had friends with them growing up,
and they just put me off them.
They're silly dogs.
That's why I'm off pugs.
Even before they became a problem with their pedigree breeding
and the breathing, I got nipped in the Achilles by one.
And that is your Achilles heel.
Yeah, pugs. Yeah. Pugs.
All right, next on the show.
Women who are stressed out before pregnancy,
so every woman,
are twice as likely to have a particular gender.
I'll tell you which one.
ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.
Now, having a boy or a girl is a 50-50, isn't it?
That's what they say.
Well, no, if you're gay, you prefer one.
If you're bisexual, I think you can have a boy or a girl.
Or a pansexual.
A new human.
Oh, right, if you were to have children.
If you were to have children.
Yeah, you don't.
Well, you can choose, right?
Are you talking about designer babies?
Yeah.
Who was doing that? Paris Hilton.
You get IVF and they, can they see
what one's going to be a boy and what one's not?
I don't know, there must be some markers.
If you could. Nah. Whatever, you so
would. If they were like, you can choose.
Did you find out genders before the birth?
Definitely not with our oldest. With Indy, we didn't. That that was a complete surprise and apparently we did with august but i can't
remember we knew it was gonna be a girl i was like did we know i don't think we did i wouldn't
and there are there are old wives tales right like if you want a boy or a girl yeah
yeah yeah hang your legs upside down or something. So apparently, researchers at the University of Granada
have said that women who are stressed out before pregnancy
are almost twice as likely, which is pretty high,
to have a guill to birth a assigned female at birth.
So this is conception, right?
Yeah, so this is before.
So they're saying one theory is the stress hormone cortisol,
of which mine are rocket high,
have a knock-on effect on other sex hormones
which influence the child's sex.
Right.
Well, I think being married to you, Vaughn,
would be quite a little bit stressful.
I don't think you'd ever have a boy.
Quite a bit stressful.
And then, like, later on, like, five years down the track
when they start school and stuff, you see the mother of the boys
and it's their turn to be stressed because they come out of school
and they've only got their shorts on and they're like,
where's the rest of the uniform?
And the boys are like, I don't know.
That's the best at school.
You can pick the kids up and there's mums of boys
and they're like, where are your shoes?
And he's like, I don't know.
Where's your hat?
I got absolutely hiding for losing a shoe once.
I don't know where it is.
I never found it.
I've got no idea.
Where'd you take them off?
I don't know.
Did you have them on at the start of school?
No.
Did you take them off before school?
Yeah.
To do what?
I don't know.
Oh, my God.
And these kids are just like, I don't know.
Go to the lost property and just grab a pair of shoes
that are roughly your size.
One size bigger if you can,
because that means you'll grow into them.
They're saying that the other possibility
of why this might be the case
is that sperm carrying the X chromosome
is less affected by,
so which determines the child to be a girl,
the X chromosome,
is less affected by problems with cervical mucus
caused by stress.
So the male chromosome,
if it's stressed,
mucus.
They get stuck in the mucus.
Gone.
Right.
Whereas the female ones are like,
don't hold me back.
So if you're trying for a boy and you've already got like five girls,
you know those families you see and there's like five boys and one girl
and they finally got one or five boys and then they finally get a girl,
then maybe just have a little spa weekend and then try.
Yeah, just a bit of a meditation, some yoga.
I was going to say a couple of drinks but then that's probably not
a couple of drinks
a little like
hit the ball
I'll tell you what
and I'm sure she won't mind me saying
I'm sure she will
she's always like
shut up about me on air
but my mum Patsy
I came into this world
because she had a weird
glass of champers
and then I was like
yum yum yum
and out you came
out I came
not before she hopped
into the shower
she shaved her legs
good champagne
or was it cheap champagne?
So I was born on the 8th of October,
but my brother's birthday was the 7th of October,
but three years prior.
So he was having a birthday party.
She'd been looking after toddlers and, you know,
three-year-olds all day.
She's like, oh, my Lord, Jesus, take the wheel.
Knocked back a shampers and I was like.
Here you are.
Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast.
ZM.
From the oily ZM think tank, this is the top six.
Kia ora, good morning.
Fair go is New Zealand's second longest running local television program after... Country Calendar.
Correcting 10 points to you.
Yes.
But the chase is over.
What about the news? That doesn't count. It doesn't you. Yes. But the chase is over. What about the news?
That doesn't count.
That's the news.
It's like the news.
Okay.
Always rates really well, Fair Go.
Yep.
You know, there's a long history of...
Sorting out people's issues.
Who was the guy that did Fair Go when we were growing up?
Philip Alpers.
Kevin Milne.
Kevin Milne did it.
He does the carpet ads now, doesn't he?
Yes, he does. Yep. Carpet Mil. Kevin Milne. Kevin Milne did it. He does the carpet ads now, doesn't he? Yes, he does.
Yep.
Carpet Mil.
And you've got Hayden Jones now.
Hayden Jones and Pippa Wetzel.
Lovely Hayden Jones and Pippa Wetzel.
Yep.
You've had Leanne Clark.
Oh, yep.
Before her ten-year-ship at Rambo's End.
I don't know where Leanne Clark is now.
Okay.
But she's sorted some shit out.
Matt Chisholm.
Gordon Harcourt.
It's had a long list
of people. God, have they caught some dodgy
roofers ripping off Alderley in their time?
They have. I want to follow
up. You know, like how Oprah
does, where are they now? Like going
back to the people that they sort of busted.
They did like a 40 year
didn't they do like a 40 year
fair go special? Because it started in like
77. Yeah, maybe.
They caught up with all the ex-presenters
but also some of
their most famous cases
like what the story was
because I love
when they go around
to a builder's house
and they're like
Richard
you've ripped off
Edith
with her roof
and he goes
piss off
and he slams
the camera down
it's so good
what do you want to say
to this 80 year old
woman Edith
it's Big Dad
listen Edith's a bitch Big Dad with Edith the bitch
And everyone's like
How dare you
That's so much grammar
I got the top 6 things you missed on Fair Go last night
Right
Number 6
Pippa Wetzel telling a builder that they've been very naughty
Oh she's good at that
Yeah Pippa Wetzel
I've just been doing a little bit of research on Pippa Wetzel.
Right.
She was Takapuna Grammar School's head girl.
Was she?
Yep, in 1994.
Destined for great things then, wasn't she?
Yeah, she's always had it.
It's been written in the stars.
Number five on the list of the top six things you missed on Fair Go last night,
Pippa Wetzel telling a door-to-door salesman they've been very naughty.
I can also tell you Pippa Wetzel went on to study at the
Auckland University of Technology, graduating
with a Bachelor of Communications degree. Oh, lovely.
Okay, good. Number four
on the list of the top six things you missed on fair go
last night. Pippa Wetzel telling
Hayden Jones that he'd been
very naughty. Is that
who she works with? Is this some kind of fantasy of yours? I know it'd been very naughty. Is that to her? Who she works with?
Is this some kind of fantasy
of yours?
I know what that is.
Very naughty.
That is, yeah.
If she told me I'm very naughty,
I wouldn't know what to do
with myself.
I can tell you that
Pippa was originally hired
by TVNZ in 1998
for the overnight assignments desk.
Right, okay.
Number three on the list of the top six things you missed on Figo last night.
Pippa Wetzel telling a painter that he's been very naughty.
What's the painter done?
He did a shoddy job in the middle of winter and the paint never set.
It bubbled and he won't come back to it.
He used undercoat on the exterior windows.
Do you ever see Pippa Wetzel when you're filming?
Have you been paying attention?
She did.
She's come on the show
as a guest
and I was slightly starstruck.
She's so professional.
I was babbling along
next to her
like some buffoon.
And I couldn't talk.
Yeah, right.
Clearly.
Pippa's had several roles
at TV One's
breakfast television show
Breakfast
starting as a junior
meet and greet assistant
before reporting news for the show.
Why didn't you just call this
the top six Pippa Wetzel love fest?
Number two on the list of the top six things
you missed on Fair Go last night,
because TVNZ simulcast pop stars on one and two,
Pippa Wetzel telling a hedge fund manager
who's ripped off old people of their money
that they've been...
Very naughty.
Very naughty indeed.
In 2007, following Kay Griggery's departure from Breakfast,
she co-hosted with Paul Henry for a while.
Yeah, okay.
She did.
That's saintly behaviour.
She had to tell him he was very naughty.
More than once.
Quite a few times.
She would have been there for the Sheila Dixon situation,
would she have been?
I'd say so, yeah.
And number one on the list of the top six things you missed on Fair Go last night,
Pippa Wetzel telling an internet scammer that they were very naughty.
She's going to ring you up and tell you you've been very naughty.
Oh, no.
What is happening?
We need a Fair Go you.
We need to cancel you with all the builders.
Oh, that is today's top six.
Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast, ZM.
This woman ought to be ashamed of herself.
She's a cook.
Molly Yee has a show on Food Network, Girl Meets Farm.
I've seen this. I've seen this.
I've seen her.
Her husband sometimes just walks in the background.
He's like, hello.
She's like, I'm cooking.
He's like, yes.
It's really weird.
So she has recently shared a recipe for a salad.
And people get pretty creative with their salads these days,
but she's taken it to an unacceptable level.
Whenever I make this salad, I have to make extra popcorn
so I can snack on it while I'm cooking.
The texture of the popcorn in this salad is so weirdly good,
I just can't get enough of it.
This is going to look so fun on the table.
See, it looks like you're going to get a salad,
but you look underneath and you see a pile of popcorn.
That is my kind of salad.
Wow.
Cancelled.
Absolutely cancelled.
It's feral.
And you look at it, it's all soggy.
It's got carrot and coriander and leaves on top.
And she's mixed in the dressing.
What's the dressing that she put in?
Mayonnaise.
Yes, of course it is.
Mayonnaise, sour cream, vinegar, sugar, Dijon mustard,
sort of a vibe.
A creamy, ranchy type dressing with a lot of popcorn.
It's predominantly popcorn.
See, I'd want to try that before I said absolutely no way.
It does look disgusting.
It's feral.
The only vegetables in it are some snap peas,
some shredded carrot, chopped celery,
and watercress on top.
With all that dressing.
It's certainly not a healthy salad, is it?
Creamy dressing.
White cheddar popcorn seasoning.
This is the most American thing I've ever heard of.
Because popcorn would be a neutral flavour if it wasn't flavored, right?
It can be sweet or savory, right?
But you know when you have that popcorn and it's that chewy
and it squeaks in your mouth?
I don't like that.
That's what it'll be like because it'll get all sog-fest.
Hey, you're talking to a dude who grew up on carrot jelly,
cucumber jelly as well.
That was the other one I was reminded of.
Your mum put cucumber in jelly?
Yeah, it was like a 70s salad.
Yeah, there was a carrot jello and there was a cucumber one as well.
I'd forgotten about the cucumber one.
Oh, yuck.
Peas and gut and like a salad.
There was always like a tin of cold peas.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, that was pretty.
The 80s, mums are weird for salads in the 80s, eh?
The stuff that was in those.
I don't really remember eating a lot of salads particularly
in the 90s growing up.
Like I feel like I had lots of vegetables,
but not necessarily salad.
Oh, this was if you had like a family,
all of my family's birthdays were in summer,
so we would have like three or four big barbecues.
Yeah.
And it was a family affair.
And I just ate myself sick on deviled eggs.
So were the jellies with carrot in them and cucumber,
was that a pudding or was that a main?
No, it was a main.
It wasn't like strawberry or sugar flavoured, were they?
That was like a neutral gelatin.
Yeah, I think so.
Ew.
I don't know the exact.
I never ate it as a kid.
Mum would put some on the plate and I'd be like.
But would they cube it and put it in the salad?
Or would it be its own bowl of jello?
No, you would set it.
You would set the cucumber and the carrot in the jello.
That is disgusting. Why would you ruin a jelly the carrot in the jello.
That is disgusting.
Why would you ruin a jelly?
They're absolutely feral.
Oh, yeah, that's hideous.
Yuck.
Imagine if you turned up now.
It does.
It looks like dog roll.
Yeah.
Imagine it now.
If we were like, should we have a little BYO?
A potluck.
A potluck.
And I turned up with a popcorn salad and some gelatin.
But see, popcorn salad feels like that's another 80s.
It's got a real 80s feel to it. Well, the idea that this woman's trying to give it a resurgence,
it's not sitting well with me.
I admire her.
I admire her a gusto.
Most people online, were they, like, horrified?
Everyone's like, get out.
Cancel the show.
Cancel her.
That's immediately.
People are not happy.
Somebody else said, yeah, it was a family favourite.
Carrot and pineapple with orange jelly.
That's right, because it had a pineapple to it as well,
because it was a little bit sweet.
And then cucumber mint and lime jelly.
That was the other one.
And someone said our family would do it with beetroot as well.
Yeah, right.
Like a beetroot jelly.
Why was everything in jelly?
Why were we gelatinising everything?
Everything.
Someone tweeted about this popcorn
salad, said, if you bring
me out some soggy mayo popcorn,
I'll be going to jail that day.
ZM's Fletchvorn and Megan,
the podcast.
Fletchvorn and Megan's Audio
Ninja Warrior.
And it's just like Ninja
Warrior on telly. It's just
like it. On the telly. Just like it.
On the telly.
But you don't have to be super ripped.
You've just got to make the sound effects to get through the Audio Ninja Warrior course.
But if you are ripped, do let us know.
I mean, presumably you've worked hard.
That's something you should probably share.
Good morning, Emily.
How are you?
Hi.
Good, thank you.
All right.
You are first up today on our Audio Ninja Warrior course.
Now, we'll give you a sound effect.
You make it as quickly and as best you can.
If it's not up to standard, we will pause and confer and ask for a new sound effect.
And if we need to do that three times, you're out.
That's the new rule.
Three times?
Yeah, okay.
Not on the same one, three times over the course of the whole thing.
Oh, okay, right.
Fair call. All right, Emily, are on the same one. Three times over the course of the whole thing. Oh, okay. Right. Fair call.
All right.
Emily, are you ready?
Yep.
Your time starts now.
An airplane taking off.
True.
Okay.
No, no, no.
A full-time whistle at a sports game.
Um.
We are going to need to do that again, aren't we? We are just going to pause the timer.
We're just going to pause the timer.
Emily, we are going to need the full-time sports whistle again.
Yep.
Okay, that was better.
Better.
It's a P-less whistle.
Yep.
Yes.
Yuck.
Keys jangling.
Yeah, that's good.
That's a light jangle.
A light jangle.
I like that.
A photocopy of photocopying.
Similar to the keys.
Yeah, yeah.
I like that.
Subtle.
Chattering teeth in the cold.
Yeah, that was good. I had a bit of breath there too. Yeah, very similar to the case. Subtle. Chattering teeth in the cold. Yeah, I feel like I had a bit of breath there too.
Yeah, good.
Very frosty.
A dial-up modem.
I like it.
You like it?
Yep.
Sufficient.
I've done it.
There we go.
You've done it, Emily.
You've managed to get through the entire Audio Ninja Warrior course.
I wonder if you've ever had to use dial-up internet before, Emily.
I'm 23, so I do a lot.
Yeah, I didn't think so, yeah.
Yeah, okay.
All right, Emily, wait there.
You're in the cone of silence.
We're bringing in Jack to Audio Ninja Warrior.
Good morning, Jack.
How are you?
Good, good.
All right, are you ready?
Yes.
Now, just for people at home
who've never listened before,
Jack's in the kind of silence.
He hasn't heard these sounds.
He hasn't, no.
All right, Jack,
your time starts now.
An airplane taking off.
That was really good.
You said that hiss,
that jet engine hiss.
A full-time whistle of the sports game.
They famously...
It's been a long game. Keys jangling.
Jingle, jingle, jingle.
Jingle, jingle, jingle.
I don't know if my keys make
that sound.
Randall, those keys in front of you.
Jingle, jingle, jingle.
He's using his time.
Photocopier photocopying.
See, that's a better photocopier.
Good photocopier.
Chattering teeth in the cold.
Yeah.
And a dial-up modem.
Do we like it?
Yeah, I love it.
I've done it!
I really
might have seen a And then someone picks up the phone
And it disconnects
And you had to put
The call waiting disabling number
At the front of the dial up
Otherwise you'd get cut off if someone called through
God damn call waiting
Alright
You've cut them both off have you Otherwise, you'd get cut off if someone called through. Goddamn call waiting. All right. Both have successfully...
You've cut them both off, have you?
You hung up on both of them.
Yeah, I don't know what happened there.
I thought I'd locked them in.
Well, obviously not.
Fletch just hung up on both of them.
Fletch wasn't impressed with either efforts.
Give us your phone tone.
Yeah, that's really good.
Really good, Emily.
What was that, Jack?
Was that Emily or Jack?
It says Emily.
Okay, well, they don't need to be here.
No.
So they don't win anything.
No, just bragging rights.
Just bragging rights,
and they can take that just by listening to the radio.
She clocked in at one minute, three seconds.
Yep.
Emily, however, Jack, 56 seconds.
So today's winner of
Order of Ninja Warriors is Jack.
I think that she had to do that
sound twice over, didn't she?
Yeah, that cost her. The whistle, that cost her.
That cost her there. Yeah.
It would have been mine.
Because they're good, the P
rolling around. They get more of the P roll.
Yeah, that was really good.
Alright, next on the show, when someone's calling you on your phone
and you don't want to talk to them.
Just turn your phone upside down.
Okay, someone's floated an idea online
on how to get out of that call that's calling you.
That's not turning your phone upside down.
I need this. ACC has been knocking.
Do you owe them money?
I owe everyone money.
Okay, well,
maybe you can try this
with ACC next
and the IRD.
Oh, no,
they're going to go
into my account now.
Yeah.
Next week.
Next week, I promise.
ZM's Fletch,
Vaughan and Megan,
the podcast.
Now, there's a way
going around on the internet
to end a phone call without just, like, obviously hanging up on somebody. I mean, there's the age-old on the internet to end a phone call
without just like obviously hanging up on somebody.
I mean, there's the age old classic when you answer,
even if you've got a full battery, say,
hey, I don't have much battery left.
And then you can just hang up when you're done.
Oh, yeah, that's a good one.
Halfway through.
And always hang up halfway through you talking.
Yeah, but don't make it obvious.
Don't pause.
They're like, oh, yeah, I'll come and see you later.
Terrible, terrible. My least favourite and see you later. Terrible,
terrible,
terrible acting.
My least favourite is when you're on your phone,
maybe you're on Instagram or playing a fun game or something,
and then a number calls and you just have to stare at it.
Until it gets out of the way.
As the anxiety increases and increases until it's done.
You can't hang up.
You can't be like,
call,
because then it's like,
Because then they know.
So I don't know if this tip that's online would work for a call that's incoming.
This tip that's been shared.
Oh, it might do.
We can try it out.
Now, this tip that's been shared is for when you're on a call with someone.
Yeah.
And you're over talking to them and you just want to be out of this call.
But you don't want to seem rude by just hanging up.
By saying, call ended.
Yeah.
Now, I'm being told that I should be calling the ZM line to do this,
but I think this is mobile to mobile because it's about what displays
on your phone.
Yeah, yeah.
Because if you hang up, it's call ended and it'll just go back
to the stream, but you want it to say call failed.
Yeah, so this is the thing here.
This is a way for it to say call failed instead of call ended.
Yeah, which will mean that the person receiving it will be like,
oh, they must have gone out of reception.
Something's happened.
Yeah, yeah.
Their phone must have died.
Because that's the vibe, right?
And this is done by putting it on flight mode while you're on the call.
Yeah.
That makes so much sense.
Can you – because you can still, when you're on a call,
access the rest of your phone, can't you?
Yeah, you can. Yeah. Okay. Okay, so you're going to try this. So, Vaughan, you're on a call, access the rest of your phone, can't you? Yeah, you can.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay, so you're going to try this.
So, Vaughan, you're going to call.
I'm going to call you.
And this is why.
I'm going to put it on mute.
You'll all get feedback.
Put it on mute.
Stop being a baby.
Put it on mute, because then we're going to live it.
We're going to live it.
Okay, yeah, we can live it.
You're about to be knocked off my favorites page with this attitude.
I'm going to answer your call now. Yes. And then you're going to flight mode me. Yeah. To see live it. You're about to be knocked off my favorites page with this attitude. I'm going to answer your call now.
Yes.
And then you're going to flight mode me.
Yeah.
To see what it says.
In the middle of the conversation.
Okay, ringing.
Yeah.
God, I've really got to update your picture too.
What?
Is it cute or not?
It's that one where you're a zombie.
Oh, yeah.
That's good.
At Halloween like eight years ago.
A long time ago.
Okay.
See, I muted it.
Look.
Oh, nothing there.
God, it's your first bloody day.
Okay, so we've been on the call now for 12 seconds.
Okay, and I'm about to aeroplane mode.
Okay.
Aeroplane, airplane, flight mode.
Yeah, flight mode.
I'm about to flight mode you.
Okay.
Anna three, Anna two, Anna, you've been flight mode.
It said call ended.
Well, this was a waste of time, but we're one break closer to the end of the day, so
let's just carry on.
So it didn't say call failed.
It didn't say call failed. It didn't say call fail.
What about if you call me and then I flight mode while you're calling?
Okay, I'm calling you now.
To see what that says.
Okay, I'm calling you now.
Flight mode.
Oh, yes.
So you've.
I can't tell you to call.
It just went to voicemail.
Okay, so that's pretty much the same.
That's the same as diverting them to voicemail.
Okay, so they'll know that you've dodged them that way.
What if. What if?
What's another one?
No, I don't think this works.
I think the internet's lied to us.
Unless it's an American phone thing and it's different.
Maybe.
Well, this is disappointing, isn't it?
Because I need this information.
I'm constantly trying to get out of phone calls.
Well, I think that, as you say, though, I've got like 2% battery left.
Be real quick, it could end at any stage.
Yeah, my battery's about to die.
Yeah.
And then just hang up.
And then just hang up on them.
Or just don't answer.
Now we've revealed our secrets on air.
We can't.
None of us can do this.
But see, I only answer my phone if it's like someone I know or want to talk to.
I reckon the best way is when someone's calling, you don't want to talk to them, you just wait it out.
And then get back to your game.
And then get back to your game.
Or Facebook.
Yeah.
I had someone I know on Facebook
put up in their status
being like I'm just going to start
randomly FaceTiming people
to check in.
You know I don't want to be
the person that calls
when they want something.
I was like don't call me.
Now I sort of did that.
I was like I want to reach out
more to my friends.
I haven't.
It's April.
Flesh, Vaughan and Megan.
The podcast.
ZM.
ZM.
From iHeartRadio.
This is the latest.
Olivia Rodrigo.
She's taken the world by storm
with her hit Driver's Licence.
We play it often on this channel.
It's an absolute banger.
On this channel?
Channel.
We do, we do.
We do.
Skyrocketed to number one on the charts.
So she's very excited about her driver's license.
You know what she's got now?
Her very first parking ticket.
She shared it on her social media,
saying, damn, this driving shit isn't all fun and games.
So now that she's got her driver's licence
and her very first parking ticket,
I've helped her out a little bit with her next hit.
It's called Parking Ticket.
Okay, listen.
I got a parking ticket last week
Because I didn't pay
I stopped my vehicle parking ticket last week because I didn't pay I
Stopped my vehicle and then I just walked away
When I came back I saw it
Flapping on my window screen
I only just got my license So I could see my man And then he dumped my ass
So I need you ticket men to understand
That I didn't know how the machine worked
I mean, I'm only 18
The sign said 60 minutes, but I bumped into a friend and got talking.
My mom is gonna be so pissed, cause this is actually her car.
I'll be walking, cause I didn't know that the chalk meant I was out of time
And now I've been stung with my very first $12 fine
Holy shit!
Wow!
It's her new song.
Wow!
That's her second number one hit.
You requested the instrumental.
We had no idea that was coming.
And on the spot.
Oh, so good.
I'm going to request some royalties from Olivia.
Brilliant.
And if she can't be bothered recording it, I'll just do it
because I'm pretty sure I'm getting close to her voice there.
Yeah, it was good.
Palm point.
Wow.
That is the latest.
Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. On point. Wow. That is the latest.
Am I a bad person today?
We're asking, on behalf of a bride,
am I a bad person for not wanting a specific dude as best man?
He can be in the bridal party, but I don't want him as best man.
He's a snarky son of a gun.
He said things about me in the past,
etc, etc. I feel like if I knew what these snarky comments were, I'd be able
to make more of a
definite call. Were they just
little things that she was like, oh, that kind of
was annoying, or really like, you've deeply offended
my morals here. I'm erring
on, just let him be
the best man. It's his best
childhood friend.
Just have a word to him and say, look, ran it in on the day.
I think so too. So what do you think?
Is she a bad person?
Kylie, what do you think?
Yeah, no, I think she is a bad person.
She's a bit of a control freak maybe as well.
Okay, but aren't most people when it's their wedding day
because you want it to be perfect?
Yeah, I understand it's perfect,
but that's his choice as a best man.
It's his childhood friend.
She's got to trust him on it.
Do you have a partner at the moment?
Yep, I'm married and I went through a similar situation as what she did.
Oh, okay.
So, like, was the best man, did he do anything even slightly out of line on the wedding day?
Apart from forget the wedding rings?
No, that was all good.
See?
You've got to have a trusty individual.
My line-up was Fletch taking care of all the details
because he's a details guy.
He keeps me on track.
I know he can sort it out.
Callum, who is one of my oldest friends, who is absolutely useless,
but he had to be there.
He had to be there. I couldn't have done it without him but he had to be there. He had to be there.
I couldn't have done it without him.
He had to be there.
He would have left the rings.
He would have forgotten everything.
I would have trusted him with anything,
but he had to be there.
And my friend Kim,
who would have been a perfect backup
and support for admin,
should it have been required.
You've got to have that lineup.
You do.
Kylie thinks you're cool.
Kaz, what do you think?
Is she a bad person?
Yes, she is.
Straight for the throat. Why do you think? Is she a bad person? Yes, she is. Straight for the throat.
Why do you think she is?
Because a wedding
isn't just about the bride
and the groom is quite entitled
to choose his own party
without the help of his bride.
Very, very rarely do men say,
well, no, I don't like that one
or I don't want that one.
You know, she's a bitch.
So as women,
we need to butt out and let our men make their own decisions.
We trust them enough.
As a man, I can say we've got a track record of making terrible decisions.
This is true.
We love you anyway.
Yeah, I know.
You're fools.
You're fools that got a track record of making terrible decisions
by trusting our terrible decisions.
Brilliant.
Hey, Kaz, sexy call.
Some other text messages on it.
Somebody said,
the best man always needs to back the relationship
and needs to be a big fan of the union.
If he doesn't, his heart's not going to be in it.
You need this guy 100% of the way.
Speech and duties leading up to it.
Someone said, I'm getting married soon.
The best man roasted my fiance at his 21st,
but he totally backs our relationship. So this was the Best man roasted my fiance at his 21st. Right.
But he totally backs our relationship.
So this was the best man roasting the male who is.
Right.
It was a roasting at his 21st.
But however, he totally backs our relationship.
He has, however, been given a warning regarding the speech.
And I'm honestly looking forward to it because he's the right guy
because he backs us as a couple.
100%.
Yeah, right.
Nice.
We took it to Instagram.
A bit of a poll.
Is she a bad person?
60% not a bad person.
Wow.
She's a bad person.
I don't think she's a bad person,
but I would trust the person I'm about to marry
for the rest of my life that they will do the right thing
and make sure it doesn't turn into an absolute garbage fest.
ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.
We're talking about affairs.
And forgiveness.
There's people listening in the car.
Whenever we talk about affairs or infidelity,
there's people who will change the station
because they find it too awkward to listen.
Yeah, they're driving to work with their partner and they're like
I feel like some
classic rock
I'm not going to change the station
Because we said it was going to happen and then that Justin Bieber song played
they're like oh I don't like this song
But they love it
And they know this is coming it must be an awkward conversation
Well we need to take this with a grain of salt
because this is a study conducted
by the website Ashley Madison.
If you don't know what Ashley Madison is,
it's a dating website for married people,
for discreet dating.
Cheating, hookups.
Cheating, hookups, organised infidelity.
So we're talking about who is more likely to forgive.
Apparently men are more likely to forgive women
after discovering that they have been cheating.
Which feels right.
If you'd asked me to choose a sex,
I would say it would be men that would forgive.
Would forgive women.
Because it can be more transactional for them
and less emotional, can't it?
Exactly.
We talked about this before.
For women, they put their heart and their soul
into every sexual encounter. That's
not true.
You almost got through the sentence without laughing.
I was like, no, no, no, no. I was 20 once.
But yeah,
they're saying that 80,
according to the data on this website,
85% of
females
who have cheated said that they'd
been forgiven by their partners
as opposed to 80% of men hadn't.
Right.
So there's a bit of a big old gap there.
85% said, women, just go for it.
Just do it.
Life's short.
You only live once.
You know what I mean?
So 80% of men forgave their female partners.
So they're going from the other perspective.
It's a bit confusing.
Right, yeah.
So 85% of men had forgiven their female partners for an affair,
according to this website where people are like,
let's have an affair.
But 20% of women had forgiven men.
Also, like you said before, you've got to put the filter on it
This is on a website where people are having affairs
Yeah
Yeah
Which, you know
And predominantly a male database of dudes being like
Oh yeah, nah, I'd be cool with it if my wife did it
I'd be cool with it
You wouldn't be
Yeah
And would you be cool if your fiancé cheated?
Would you forgive?
Absolutely
No, no, because this is the thing Would you be cool if your fiancé cheated? Would you forgive? Absolutely.
No, because this is the thing.
They're reminding us that when faced with the idea of cheating,
men often focus on the physical thing.
That's the upsetting image is the physical idea of their female partner,
if they're straight, having a physical interaction with another man.
Whereas women, on the other hand, are more interested in the emotional impact.
And I think I'd be like that.
I think I'd be like, okay, I can probably get past the physical element of it,
but the deceit is the part that I couldn't.
What about you?
I won't ask you.
You don't have a partner.
No.
Born shut, eh?
Free to roam or keep in a cage?
Locked up. Locked up and caged.
She's not free range?
She's not locked up in a cage.
She's a free range chicken.
She's a chicken.
Into the worms?
Peck about in the panic,
but she always knows there's going to be a couple of mealworms in the...
What a weird, what a horrible analogy.
And she's just messaged me saying,
I've just started listening.
Yeah, there's always a cup of pellets in the bedroom.
That's confusing.
There's a couple of NRM pick and lay, which is an actual brand of chicken food
because I purchased some recently.
There's a big sack.
There's a big sack.
I'm a big sack of pick and lay.
I'm ready to be eaten, picked at, nibbled on.
Sade, I hope that's crystal clear for you.
Where the barriers are.
What was not crystal clear about that confusing chicken analogy.
All right, 13 past eight.
Next on the show, we need to talk about a dinner reservation that's been made.
It's got very heated.
Turn the volume down.
We might be some yelling.
We're talking about affairs.
And forgiveness.
Always imagine forgiveness.
There's people like listening in the car.
Whenever we talk about affairs or like infidelity,
there's people who will change the station
because they find it too awkward to listen.
Yeah, they're driving to work with their partner
and they're like,
I feel like some classic rock.
I'm not going to change the station.
Because we said it was going to happen
and then that Justin Bieber song played,
they're like, oh, I don't like this song.
Yeah.
But they love it.
And they know this is coming.
It must be an awkward conversation.
Well, we need to take this with a grain of salt
because this is a study conducted by the website Ashley Madison.
If you don't know what Ashley Madison is,
it's a dating website for married people,
for discreet dating.
Cheating, hookups.
Cheating, hookups, organised infidelity.
So we're talking about who is more likely to forgive.
Apparently men are more likely to forgive women
after discovering that they have been cheating.
Which feels right.
If you'd asked me to choose a sex,
I would say it would be men that would forgive.
Would forgive women.
Because it can be more transactional for them
and less emotional, can't it?
Exactly.
We talked about this before.
For women, they put their heart and their soul
into every sexual encounter.
That's not true.
You almost got through the sentence without laughing.
I was like, no, no, no, no.
I was 20 once.
But yeah, they're saying that 80,
according to the data on this website,
85% of females who have cheated
said that they'd been forgiven by their partners
as opposed to 80% of men hadn't.
Right.
So that's pretty, there's a bit of a big old gap there 85 percent
so women just go for it just do it life's short you only live once you know what i mean so yeah
so 80 of men forgave their female partners so they're going from the other perspective it's a
bit right yeah so uh 80 so 85 percent of of men had forgiven their female partners for an affair,
according to this website where people are like, let's have an affair.
But 20% of women had forgiven men.
Also, like you said before, you've got to put the filter on it.
This is on a website where people are having affairs.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Which, you know.
And predominantly a male database of dudes been like, oh, yeah, no, I'd be cool with
it if my wife did it.
I'd be cool with it.
They wouldn't be.
You wouldn't be.
Yeah.
And would you be cool if your fiance cheated?
Would you forgive?
Absolutely.
No, because this is the thing.
You know, they're reminding us that when faced with the idea of cheating,
men often focus on the physical thing.
That's the upsetting image is the physical idea of their female partner,
if they're straight, having a physical interaction with another man.
Whereas women, on the other hand, are more interested in the emotional impact.
And I think I'd be like that.
I think I'd be like, okay, I can probably get past the physical element of it,
but the deceit is the part that I couldn't.
What about you?
I won't ask you.
You don't have a partner.
No.
Born shut, eh?
Free to roam or keep in a cage?
Locked up. Locked up and caged.
She's not free range?
She's not locked up and caged.
She's a free range chicken.
She's a chicken. Into the worms not locked up in a cage. She's a free range chicken. She's a, yeah.
She can.
Into the worms?
Peck about in the panic,
but she always knows there's going to be a couple of mealworms in the.
What a weird, what a horrible analogy.
And she's just messaged me saying, I've just started listening.
Yeah, there's always a cup of pellets in the bedroom.
That's confusing.
There's a couple of NRM pick and lay,
which is an actual brand of chicken food because I purchased some recently. There's a couple of NRM Peck and Lay, which is an actual brand of chicken food because I purchased some recently.
There's a big sack.
I'm a big sack of Peck and Lay.
I'm ready to be eaten, pecked at, nibbled on.
Sade, I hope that's crystal clear for you where the barriers are.
What was not crystal clear about that confusing chicken analogy.
All right, 13 past eight.
Next on the show, we need to talk about a dinner reservation that's been made.
It's got very heated.
Turn the volume down.
We might be some yelling.
Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM.
I got an email recently saying, and I don't sign up to too many email out places,
but one of my favourite restaurants
in Auckland
emailed out
and the subject line
was like,
sad news.
I'm like,
you son of a bitch.
No.
They're like,
we're closing.
We're closing.
We're shutting down.
Great restaurant.
I'll say what it is.
It's Woodpecker Hill.
It's in Parnell.
Shade and I went there
once for an anniversary
and we were just like,
oh my God. And it's our joint favourite restaurant. It's in Parnell. Shade and I went there once for an anniversary and we were just like, oh my God.
And it's our joint favourite restaurant.
If we're like, we need to go for a nice meal,
where are we going to go?
Woodpecker Hill.
Treat yourself.
What's the cuisine?
We've been.
It was where we had one of our first
have you been paying attention lunches.
Oh, that nice place.
Yeah.
This is bloody nice.
It's bloody nice.
Great cocktails.
You, As I recall
Weren't driving
So
I was knocking them back
And then I was straight
On a flight to Wellington
So
Like lovely
Lovely
So they email
And I say to Shade
I've got terrible news
And she's like
What's happened
I'm like what the hell
She's like
No Vaughn no
And I show the email
And we're like no
So immediately
We've got to go again
Before it closes
Oh right So this was a couple Of weeks ago And so Shade's like And I show the email and we're like, no. So immediately we're like, well, we've got to go again before it closes.
Oh, right.
So this was a couple of weeks ago.
And so Shardé's like, I'll make the booking.
We'll do it Friday night.
I said, that suits.
And she said, Mark and Jana will come.
They're our good friends.
And we're like eating lots.
Mark and I eat lots.
It's always good to go to a restaurant with another person that eats lots.
Because then you don't feel bad.
You don't feel bad about eating lots.
We're eating lots. We're eating lots.
Yeah.
We always eat lots.
And so it's booked in.
It's done.
And then this Friday is also, we're getting a little bit of a ZM walkthrough of,
what is that place called?
The Happy Place?
Yeah, the most Instagrammable place on earth.
Yeah, like great photos and stuff.
So that's happening.
And you guys are like,
well, we're going to go to that.
And I was like, well, we're going to go to that.
And then we're going to go to dinner afterwards.
And you're like,
well, where are you going for dinner?
And I'm like,
Woodpecker Hill,
because it's shutting down.
And Fletch is like,
I haven't been.
And I was like,
well, you can join our booking.
When Hayley's keen.
Before the marriage.
And I hopped on in there.
Hayley's keen.
Then all of a sudden,
Fletch is inviting James,
who I love.
Don't get me wrong.
Yeah, well, everyone loves James.
Everyone loves James.
Everyone loves James.
And somebody else is added to the booking.
So now it's gone from four to eight.
So yesterday I needed to ring Woodpecker
and change the reservation.
That'll open on Monday.
Fair enough, hospitality Monday.
They have it off busy weekend.
Yeah.
So I leave a message.
And then today I arrive in and Fletcher's like,
yeah, well, I don't even know if dinner's happening
because this useless bastard can't change the reservation.
And I was like, well, I did change the reservation.
And Fletcher's like, oh, great.
I'll put it on my phone.
What time is the reservation?
And I said, the only time we could get a reservation was 8.30.
And all of a sudden.
PM to clarify.
It's a late, don't get me wrong, it's a late dinner.
And I was planning on like a mid-afternoon cheese platter
to get me through because that is a late dinner. But it's a late dinner. And I was planning on like a mid-afternoon cheese pie to get me through
because that is a late dinner.
But it's a Friday night.
The restaurant's shutting down.
It's my favourite restaurant.
We've got a babysitter.
All of the stuff's lining up.
And all of a sudden, Mr. Not-Even-Really-Invited is like,
it's too late for dinner.
It's too late for dinner.
It is too late for dinner.
I just feel like the whole day is too spread out.
That's my opinion.
It's a long day.
We're up at four, then we're working till, you know, ten-ish.
Then there's a window.
We're going to go to the gym.
Then there's another sort of weird window before we go to Happy Place.
Nap in the window.
And then after Happy Place, we've got to wait about three hours
before we get any food in our bellies.
You go for a drink, don't you?
I will again remind you, I did not invite either of you to dinner.
You invited yourselves.
And we're both like, can you make it earlier?
Can you bring a changer today?
I'm like, I couldn't book it earlier online.
I've looked online.
They do have a spot at 4.30.
4.30 is better than 8.30 for dinner.
If we had to do a ridiculous dinner time,
I'd lean more towards the 4 than the 8.
What time is this happy place thing?
That's at like 5.
You can't enjoy a restaurant's final meal in half an hour.
That's barely enough time to eat the delicious spiced nuts.
I'm in bed at like 9.
I'm on rest home hours here.
I know you're on rest home hours.
This menu is luring me towards an 8 o'clock dinner.
It's exquisite.
8.30.
It's an absolute crime.
You get there at 8.30.
By the time they cook the meal, you're not eating until quarter past nine.
Nine.
Quarter quickly.
Have a cocktail.
Relax.
Have an afternoon sleep.
Could we ring up earlier and arrive to the food?
I have walked in.
I believe our table is already waiting full of food.
I think we should change everything to 4.30.
You were not invited.
You can't hijack.
Why don't we go to a different restaurant?
And you can go to Woodpecker Hill on another day.
100%.
No, we can't.
It's shutting down.
But is it shutting down on Friday? It's like No, no we can't it's shutting down. But wait is it shutting down
on Friday?
It's like the last time
we could go.
You don't have to come.
It's very rude
that you're not
It's absolutely rude.
What are we going to do?
We're all going to go
to Happy Place together
and then just part ways.
You said we could come
but then you're making
dinner so late
it's wild.
It's isolating us
from the rest of the group.
Again? Again. You don't have to come. It's wild. It's isolating us from the rest of the group. Again.
Again.
You don't have to come.
It's too late for dinner.
But we want to come.
We don't want to come that late.
We'll go at 4.30 then.
I'm not going to be there at 4.30.
Well, does it make sense to dine separately?
It doesn't suit the existing party.
Right.
Okay.
We're not all changing plans for you.
Yeah.
Come if you want. I don't. Oh, no. You've got to come now because you. Yeah. Come if you want.
I don't.
Oh, no.
You've got to come now because you may be ringing change the reservation.
I'm not going to be made to look a fool on the final time I'm down at my favorite restaurant.
By ringing up and downsizing the book.
Because they'll get the message and then they'll be like, okay, change it to eight.
And then the next message will be like, hi, it's me again.
Change it back.
Two of our party have fallen asleep.
They said
8.30 is too late to eat.
Alright, you just don't, well,
oh God. This is to be resolved.
This is TBR. This is why I don't like
organising things.
It's simple. It is weird that you've been in charge
of organising, because if you
had booked earlier, you might have
got a better time.
Yeah, let's look for a 7, 7.30.
We booked two weeks ago.
It was the time you could book online.
Well, I think you should do something about it.
Do they know how many radio personalities are going to turn off?
Well, that's one.
The end.
It's not about going to Blueberries Inn.
They're not shutting down.
It's about going to the restaurant that will cease to be.
It's got a very special place in our heart.
It's our favourite couple's restaurant.
6 o'clock and 6.15.
They can do 8 people at this one.
Don't come. You don't deserve it.
You two, piss off to wherever you want to eat.
Tonight on
TVNZ 2 Have You Been Paying Attention?
is on 8.30. Yeah, it was recorded last night when Vaughan and I were friends.
And it's a really great episode.
Who's guesting tonight?
We've got two lots of guest quiz masters.
We had Jane Watson from the Silver Ferns.
She is so lovely.
What a woman.
She plays for the Cannterbury Tic Tac.
And we had the creators of Creamery, which is a juicy looking new show.
So it's like a dark, it's going to be on TV then on demand.
It looks really good.
Dark comedy where a pandemic wipes out all the men.
By the way, they wrote this before there was a pandemic.
Crazy, yeah.
And then it started happening.
And they're like in this community of women
Trying to re-establish society
Well, Catch, have you been paying attention tonight?
8.30 on Tuesdays on TVNZ2
And if you'd like to be in the audience
You can text Hayley to 9696
We'll fire you back the details on how you can get to one of those
Filmings on Mondays
Right now though, time for
Fact of the Day
Day, day, day, day!
Today's Fact of the Day is about the Bellagio Fountain in Las Vegas.
Oh, yeah.
You know the big one that does the fountain show?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's music and there's
lights. Was it very similar to
the Dubai fountain? Dubai's
way bigger. Way bigger. I feel like the
Dubai fountain's huge. Yeah.
Okay, and now I need to know how many litres of water
are in the Dubai fountain. Because I remember
we, a while ago, we did a week
of broadcasts with Dubai
Tourism and we actually ziplined
through the fountain. Oh, fun.
It was incredible. And I
remember they dropped a stat on how
much the fountain cost and it's
ridiculous amounts of money. Oh, really?
Because it's time to music.
Amazing. So at any
given moment at the
Dubai fountain when it's going, there are 83,000
litres of water in the air. In the air fountain when it's going, there are 83,000 litres of water in the air.
In the air?
When it's going?
And that's in the air.
That's 83 tonnes of water at any given time.
How much water is that?
Well, that's a huge, I can't find exactly how big.
It's a huge, giant.
Oh, now I wish that was today's spectator.
I need to know how many pools worth.
Oh, well, 83,000 milk bottles of one litre milk bottles.
That's a lot.
That's a lot of litres.
83,000 in the area.
That's not today's fact of the day, but that's good, isn't it?
That's a good fact, yeah.
Today's fact of the day is about the Bellagio Fountain in Las Vegas.
And the fact that every year it loses.
You made me distracted.
Now I've lost how many litres it is because it's in gallons.
Oh, yeah, gallons.
Gallons.
Gallons and pounds.
Stop it, America.
You're the only country.
You're one of the only countries.
Inches and miles.
Oh, my God.
Grow up.
Yeah.
And when you're writing down that.
Edit to the list of things you need to sort out.
When you're writing down the date, putting the month before the day in that month, grow up. Yeah. No. Grow up. Yeah. And when you're writing down that... Add it to the list of things you need to sort out. When you're writing down the date,
putting the month before the day in that month,
grow up.
No.
Grow up, America.
It sounds bigger in centimetres anyway.
Yeah.
It does.
Way better.
45 million litres of water evaporates
from the Bellagio Fountain every year.
Whoa.
New Zealand needs some of that.
We just pop my pen up.
It might be quite heavily chlorinated, though. In the desert, that's insane. Yeah, it's a lot of that. It might be quite heavily chlorinated though.
In the desert, that's insane.
Yeah, it's a lot of water.
Wow.
Vegas really gets through the water.
So the entire eight and a half acre lake holds...
I need to change 22.
I was going to say 22.
Lots of gallons.
83 million litres of water.
Whoa.
83 million litres of water in the Bellagio's lake.
And every year it needs to have 45 million litres of water added back in.
Wow.
So over half of the water from the Bellagio fountain evaporates
through wind, sun and leaky pipes.
And when it's spraying,
it jumps out of the fountain onto the sidewalk.
Yeah.
And then evaporates.
Or onto your clothes, your face, your hair.
Yeah.
And you smell like chlorine for the rest of the day.
Yeah.
You get a bit close, fall in, you get out,
you drag a couple of litres of water out with you.
Yeah, and your socks and your shoes.
And it evaporates.
So today's fact of the day is that every year,
that giant fountain at the Bellagio in Las Vegas And it evaporates. So today's fact of the day is that every year,
that giant fountain at the Bellagio in Las Vegas needs an extra 45 million litres of water added due to evaporation.
Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan
The Podcast
Executive intern Anya
has been going to some
viewings of some homes
It's always weird when you go into someone's
like existing
place, isn't it?
What? Yeah
Like into someone's home and it's not yours and you're having a nosy like, existing place, isn't it? What? Yeah.
Like, into someone's home, and it's not yours,
and you're having a nosy.
Right.
Because you're either... You mean like an established, fully furnished
someone's house house.
Yeah, like, either to buy it,
or because you're there to, like, get the flat.
It's just weird.
I would like to know if it's kosher to open up wardrobes.
I was just about to say this.
Absolutely.
If you're about to make the biggest investment of your life, you need to know how big the wardrobe
is, how big the pantry is, all
the cupboards in the bathrooms.
My boyfriend always tells me off. He's like, you can't do that.
That's where they put all their stuff. But if you're going to
buy it, you want to know that your stuff's going to go in there.
It could be some mouldy, rotten
cupboard. I think if I knew that someone was
going to come around, like a new flatmate was going to look at
my room to rent it or
to buy, I would
expect people to be going into wardrobes and
cupboards. So I would hide anything
bad. But not furniture, like
if you had a sideboard table. Oh no.
You can't be going through those drawers.
No, because you're not buying that, are you?
And I just really want to reiterate, no bedside
tables either.
That second
drawer down, that's...
Even if you live there, you shouldn't go in there.
Not for you.
Second drawer down or top drawer?
Just for me, bottom drawer.
Bottom drawer.
Okay, right.
Get out of there.
So it was at a house viewing that you noticed something in someone's house.
Yes.
We walked into a house and the lounge is the first thing you see in the front door.
And right above the fireplace
was a wonderful
A2, I'd say, size.
A2, that's, so I'm thinking
A4, that's A4 times
times times hape, say, like a big
music or a movie poster size.
Yep, pretty bloody large
self nude portrait glamour shot Music or a movie poster size. Yep, pretty bloody large.
Self-nude portrait glamour shot situation.
Of the lady that owned the house.
Yes.
Nude, nude.
Nude.
Nipple.
It was tastefully done.
Like Fancy, was it Fancy like a glamour shot?
Yep.
A curvaceous bum but no fanny.
Hayley Jane Sproul.
I mean, it was the question everybody wanted answered.
I wanted to know.
How new. I wanted to know.
Okay, no.
Right.
No, there was a tasteful cloth being draped.
Right, over the nipples.
Yes, but it really took us by surprise.
So you could hit the gram with this.
It sounds like it would pass gram community standards and guidelines.
I'd imagine so.
Okay.
Let's go and paint the picture of what we're all seeing.
I never understand why people have self-portraits of themselves.
Yeah, I understand maybe having some smaller framed photos of moments,
holidays, loved ones.
Family photos, sure.
But like a piece of artwork of yourself.
Especially when it's huge.
It's very absurd to me.
Yeah, and it's huge.
Even if you were super happy with your body,
maybe you'd lost heaps of weight or whatever.
Absolutely, do the shoot.
Do the shoot.
But putting it above the fireplace in the lounge
where everyone that comes over,
including strangers at a viewing,
get to see this.
And it was so big
that I think everybody
who walked into that house
or a courier who saw it,
you'd have to comment on it.
Like it was so big,
you couldn't avoid it.
Glamour shots.
It was rather unusual.
Okay, here's a question
we would like to ask
on the back of this this morning.
What is the weirdest thing you've seen in someone's house?
Like a stranger's house or anyone?
Any, any.
You go to a friend's, a flat, a party, whatever.
The weirdest thing you've seen in someone's house and you've just gone, okay.
That's there.
Is there a giant lizard tank in a house once?
Doing open homes.
Right.
Somebody had a giant, like a huge lizard tank. Have you seen open homes right somebody had a giant
like a huge
lizard tank
have you seen that
lizard in the dairy
that video that's been
going around this way
yeah
it's like a giant
iguana
in Thailand
climbing the shelves
it's like a Komodo dragon
or a water monitor
or something
it's a huge lizard
oh yeah
that was great
great video
but it wasn't that big
or no
little
no no no
the lizard wasn't huge
the tank was The tank was.
The tank was huge.
Oh, right.
Like, you know when you see, like, aquariums that are like a wall?
Yeah.
It was like that.
Oh, wow.
It was huge.
Full of lizards.
Well, it had like, I think I saw like four lizards in there.
Right.
The bedded ones, the bedded dragons, is that a lizard thing?
Yeah.
I'm pretty sure they said bedded dragons.
That would sort out the fly situation, wouldn't it, though?
That would be a good...
Are you thinking of frogs?
Do lizards not eat flies?
These ones, I don't think.
Don't they?
Yeah, I thought they went bleh, bleh.
They went bleh.
With their tongue.
No, they go bleh.
But they have a little tongue.
They don't have the big shooty tongue.
You're thinking of a chameleon.
They've got the shooty tongue.
Not all lizards...
Are you guys under the impression that every lizard has a shooty tongue?
Look, YouTube.
Lizard eating a five. Yes, I know some do, but you're impression that every lizard has a shooty tongue? YouTube. Lizard eating a five.
Yes, I know some do, but you're saying that every lizard has a shooty tongue.
Not every lizard has a shooty tongue.
Yeah, no, look here.
Listen.
Okay.
The common house lizard is naturally.
You're talking about a gecko.
Insects are one of their favorite things to eat.
Yeah.
They often eat snails, spiders, flies.
You said it was sort of the fly situation.
To me, I'm now picturing the bed of dragons scaling the wall in the kitchen slowly like
a sort of a Fijian resort gecko.
No, I'm just worried about mum putting a bit of chicken out on the bench and the flies
getting on it.
But the lizards are taking care of it.
The lizards are not going to monitor that.
Not all lizards have sticky out tongues. It was a sticky time. So we want to know, on the back of Executive Internania, spotting a tasteful nude portrait in somebody's lounge.
What's the weirdest thing you've seen at somebody else's house?
The weirdest.
Let's go to Chelsea.
Chelsea, what did you spot?
Well, I went to pick up a bit of a trade me purchase a few years ago
and I walked into someone's lounge and literally was greeted by a zoo of taxidermied animals.
That was horrific.
Oh my God, Chelsea, I've had this.
I went round to someone's house and it was like walls and walls of it.
I was like...
I would never...
This is why I don't do pick-ups or drop-offs.
It's post only.
I don't want to...
Yeah, it's post only.
I don't care if you live in the next apartment building to mine. I'm posting it. I don't want to see, yeah, it's post only. I don't care if you live in the next apartment building to mine.
I'm posting it.
I don't want to deal with people.
Chelsea, what kind of animals were there?
Oh, they had everything you can imagine.
Probably from the lizard you were talking about earlier
to like the toy poodle that was actually the family pet to the cat.
And they were all on shelves and everything.
Like, yeah, it was horrendous.
I was like, I just need to get out of here.
This place is creepy.
I didn't care about my trophy purchase anymore.
I need to get out of here before I am one of these taxidermy things.
Exactly.
Executive Intern Anya spotted a tasteful nude A2 size.
Glamour shot.
Yeah, in someone's lounge.
All your friends are seeing that.
Yeah, I know.
All your friends are seeing that. If I know All your friends are seeing that
If you're doing that, you want them to see it
Yeah
Yeah, the hanging of it
Get it done, sure, that's all on
Or put it in the bedroom
Because your friends won't really go into your bedroom, right?
Yeah, because that's your sexy place
Yeah
I don't want to see a photo of me during sexy times
No, no
I'm happy to imagine I look completely differently
For everybody involved.
Yeah.
So some text messages in
on what people have seen
in other houses.
It was weird.
It might not be weird
to some people,
but I walked in
and there was two magpies
in a cage talking.
Oh, that's weird.
I feel like they're not cage birds.
They can be.
I know they can be taught to speak.
They're quite clever birds.
Magpies.
I didn't know that.
The old magpie.
Okay.
But not native to New Zealand.
No.
Problematic in the dive bombing season.
Somebody said,
I went into a house
and there was a naked photo
of the three kids
who by the looks
were in their 20s.
Boy, girl, boy
from the waist up sandwich.
And the kids weren't wearing tops.
Now,
a painting or a photo? Photo.
Hang on. Portrait. Oi, girl, boy.
So, as a man
with a brother and a sister,
I can't imagine anything worse
than being
sister's breasts.
In your back, I assume.
Well, someone's got breasts in the back.
Why is this happening?
Why is this a thing? They're wearing pants, so the bottom half's taken care of.
That's all covered up.
But still, I don't even like getting that close to my siblings.
Even if you're close, I don't like touching them.
No, yuck.
All right, Sharon, what's the weirdest thing that you've seen in somebody's house?
Well, it's actually in the place that we've been renting for the last two months.
Okay.
And it's a rather large urinal with saloon doors into it.
What?
I always wondered growing up when we had a flat and it was all lads,
I was like, why aren't there more urinals in houses?
And then you smell a urinal and you're like, gotcha.
Yeah, yeah, my daughter has banned the use of it.
A big pun?
My daughter has banned the use of it, yeah,
because she can't stand the smell.
Oh, banned the use of it. Oh, can't stand the smell Oh ban the use of it
I thought you said had been using it
No
And we were like what?
Okay yeah because
It is something
Why don't people have them in their houses?
Because they stink
Yeah but you can flush them
But you might as well just use the toilet right?
Yes
Exactly
That's so weird
Thanks you're cool
Nina the weirdest thing you've seen in someone's house?
Hi, yeah.
So I walked into a couple of friends that I met in Australia's house
and I'd become good friends with them
and I didn't really realise that they were like animal freaks.
Oh, yeah.
We walked in and there was just like,
I don't know how many snakes, lizards.
Oh, no.
What kind of snakes were they?
Oh, I don't even know.
Well, they were like poisonous ones that you just can't touch.
Like, they just got them from the wild.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
They got them from the wild?
Yeah.
And then they had, so this is just in the bedroom.
So, like, you can get the stench when you walk in.
You're like, what is that smell?
And they're like, oh, do you want to see the reptile room?
And then they had a whole dedicated room for the food, so, my.
Oh, my God.
Now, so in the bedroom, what did they have in the bedroom?
In the bedroom, so it was like a three-bedroom house.
They had their room and then the other two spare bedrooms were
Oh no. Yuck.
Go to a zoo. And also you've got to warn a person
if you're coming over, be like, hey by the way
we do have quite a lot of pets.
And our entire house. I'm terrified.
It was scary.
Oh horrible. Nina, thank you for your call.
Zafania, what weird
thing did you see in someone else's house?
I walked into an
artist, it was their gallery slash
home, and the lady did
beautiful landscapes and
animal paintings, but there was a
really dark and moody
sex painting on the wall,
which was quite different to everything
else, and so I asked her
about it, and
she had painted it, it was of her daughter and son-in-law. Nope. Nope her about it and she had painted it. It was of
her daughter and son-in-law.
Nope. Nope. Yep. And she had
painted it for them for their wedding
and she was holding
onto it for them while they were moving house.
They don't want that.
They don't want that. Now did she
get them to pose for
it or did she
put their hands on somebody else's body?
Okay, no, that's fair enough.
Yeah, yeah.
I wasn't sure how the father-in-law felt about it hanging up in the house either.
Oh, my God.
That is a wild thing to do.
Because mum's gone to all this effort to paint you something.
Can you then say to her, mum, we don't like this?
Or just say, mum, that's so inappropriate.
You'd have an accident with it, right?
Yeah, as a buddy, thank you for your call.
Some more text messages to finish.
As a courier driver, one time I went into a house.
They said, you'll have to come in here.
And I went into the kitchen and they were frying praying mantises on the stovetop.
What?
Can you eat a praying mantis?
I don't know.
Well, we've eaten fried crickets.
Praying mantises look bony.
Yeah.
And even the body parts, yeah, not good.
Not good.
Went, somebody else said I do building inspections.
So if someone's about to buy a house, I will inspect it before the bank signs it off.
What a fantastically interesting job that would be.
One time in the roof, there was a purple coffin.
And I was like, I've got to look.
Oh, cool.
Inside the coffin.
No.
No, no, no, no, no.
First of all, how do you get a coffin into the roof space?
You know manholes where you get into your ceiling?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Never very big.
Always at a weird angle.
Hard to get in even off a ladder.
Must have been a big hole.
So the purple coffin's in there.
They popped it open.
What do you think's in there?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Just storage, books and stuff.
Sex toys, whips and chains.
Oh!
What?
Kinky.
The lot.
The lot.
Wow.
Somebody said we were doing an open home.
The people selling the home were sitting in the lounge
while the open home happened, which is always a bit awkward.
I hate that.
I hate that.
Get out.
Do they not trust people?
Yeah, I want to judge your house as well.
Yeah.
Out loud.
Yeah.
And we opened the wardrobe
and there was a selection of adult fun toys.
Yeah.
Neatly displayed
and my guess is five foot tall bong.
Oh, okay, right.
That's a huge bong.
Yeah.
Think of your friend that's five foot two.
That bong's only just shy.
Just shy of them.
They might not be able to smoke the bong.
I know.
Yeah, hold on. Yeah, because you'd have, because you'd have to angle it for them.
Or they'd need a small step ladder.
That's a two-hanger.