ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 13th August 2021

Episode Date: August 12, 2021

Top 6: Fruit & Vege  The Worlds Most Chaotic Gameshow!  Dr Ashley Bloomfield!  Friday Face Yoga  Wedding Speech  All Blacks!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fleece, Warn and Megan. Hello, welcome to the Fleece, Warn and Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Grab any size McCafe coffee for only $4. Conditions do apply. And a big hip, hip, hooray, happy birthday to executive intern Anya, who turns 25 on Saturday the 14th.

I thought you were already 25. Nah, I'm 24. You're such a spring chicks. Thank you. You just act like a boomer that confuses us. Yeah, that's why. Because I thought you must be close to 30 with the way your boomer activities. Excuse me.

This is not. I don't need to be roasted on my birthday eve. Well, it's not a birthday eve yet. I dare not say that to you tomorrow at your party thank you so japanese and then karaoke yes wow yep um got your songs lined up but your songs picked out uh andy has his my boyfriend has what is his karaoke song uh fellas in paris all right oh yes yeah see what you've done there the no that's the official karaoke remake fellas in paris okay so he's pumped for that i done there. No, that's the official karaoke remake. Fellas in Paris. Okay.

So he's pumped for that. I'm thinking... Who's the... Is he Kanye or Jay-Z? He's usually Kanye. Who's the Jay-Z to his Kanye? He's usually his best friend, but he can't come. So he's looking for a fill-in if he's a reviewer.

Here you go, Bourne. I'd love to see... I was thinking producer Jared's already a Jay. Mr. Bon-Bons and Jared, two little skinny white dudes. It'll only take a thimble of sake and it'll happen. Thimble. Yeah. I'm thinking Leanne Rimes, though.

Oh, Can't Fight the Moonlight? I think it's a classic. It's a Coyote Agla classic, isn't it? Yes. Okay, good to know. Fletch, what are you going to do? I don't do karaoke. I've never done a karaoke song

Are you serious? I refuse to He's anti-fun I can't sing So why would I put that on other people? That hasn't stopped Have you been to karaoke? Millions of people doing it every week

Once everyone's drunk no one can sing But they all believe they can That's the whole point I mean I have sung loudly at parties So I mean that's the same isn't it? I just don't like the spotlight Oh You're right oh sweetie Okay at parties, so I mean, that's the same, isn't it? I just don't like the spotlight. Oh, fine. You're right, sweetie.

Okay. What about, Producer Jared, what's your go-to? What are you going to do for karaoke? Some nerd thing? No, I was going to do What About Me from Shannon Knowles. Yeah, so some nerd thing. It's a tune.

It's a bit of a downer, though. It's a downer. No, but then it really hits its stride about three quarters of the way through. It gets up. Does it? It gets up and it struts to the end. It's really powerful. It's like an obscure choice.

It's a power ballad. It is a power ballad. Yeah, of all the power ballads, though. It's a hell of a power ballad. All right, well, that is tomorrow evening. Warm up the vocals. Lemon honeys. I don't know, what else?

Salt, gargle some salt water. I need me more. Ma-ma-my. La-la-la. Wait, I thought you weren't singing. What are you doing? Warming up the vocals.

La-la-la. La-la-la. La-la-la. Play. Zed-In's Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. Thanks, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fleets, Sworn and Megan.

Four minutes past six. Happy Friday. Morning. Good morning. Well, yesterday the government announcing that the vaccine rollout's speeding up. Yum, yum. Give me that vaccine. September 1st, baby. And so, yes, September 1st for everyone over 16. And over 40s from next Wednesday, the 18th.

Now, will you be going in the over 40s or will you be waiting until September 1st? I can go in the over 40s. Well, because I am 42, so yes. Own it, baby. But I just thought you might be like more going when it's a younger crowd. Piss off. The gap between... Because I mean, you're not going to meet the love of your life at the over 40s.

That's just not your demographic, is it? Wow, he's coming in hot this morning. Yeah, but not wrong. The gap between vaccines is now six weeks as well. And you may have some questions about the rollout and about the vaccine. So we thought, who better to get this morning than Dr. Ashley Bloomfield on the show at 7.25 this morning. Chief Dr. Boss. Yep, Chief Dr. Boss. If you've got any questions, there's a question box on our Instagram,

FEMZM, and we'll ask him those questions and give you more details about when you can get your vaccine at 7.25 this morning. Yeah, fruit and veg is at an all-time bloody high for price. Yeah.

So I've got the top six ways to work your way around that cheeky, expensive fruit and veg. Has the luncheon gone up with the carrots and peas in it? Probably. Minimally. It's got carrots and peas in it. It's got carrots and peas that must have gone up. Yeah, but they're the carrots and peas that nobody wanted. Yeah, true.

It might have gone up a smidge. A smidge. Also coming up, your chance to get a free ride with Free Guy the movie, 8 o'clock. Some cash to pay off those boring mundane bills. Next on the show, Consumer NZ has revealed the top five complaints that have come from the New Zealand public. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

Consumer NZ has revealed the top five complaints that come their way from the New Zealand public. Consumer NZ has revealed the top five complaints that come their way from the New Zealand public. There is a winter-specific one as well. Not enough snow on the ski fields. No. Something about haters? Yes. Flammable pyjamas.

No. Pyjamas. Chimney smoke and noisy heat pumps from their neighbours. So that external part, I would never have thought about this, but you know like the external part of the heat pump that's outside that's like, I don't know, clattering or being... Wait, so who's complaining? People.

To consume in New Zealand. Yeah. Oh, so they look over and they're like, it's Mitsubishi. It's too clickety clangety. They have suggested that maybe you could talk to your neighbour first about getting like noise proof mats to surround their... They obviously get it all the time and they're like, not our jurisdiction, that one.

Yeah, that's not our... Clinkety clankety. No, they deal with consumer issues, not noise. Appliances that aren't built to last. So they get... Is that the number one complaint no okay i'm working backwards all right because this is five this is number four oh okay okay i'll finish with like the number one complaint so like build up so you see what you're doing there okay all right the queen of lists over here number three this is the third most complained thing to consumer NZ.

I would have said that this was number one just because it affects me the most. Dodgy reselling of tickets. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Via Go-Go's. I mean, in the last... That's listed as the...

Yeah, we haven't had a lot of ticket sales in the last year, have we? Probably more than most, but... Yeah. They're still there. It still blows my mind that people obviously don't know because, yeah, they're still... Well, when the Lord tickets went on sale,

the Lord above... Is he ticketing heaven now? He's ticketing heaven, yeah, and hell as well. Yeah. They say they get a lot of issues about this because people don't realise they're purchasing their ticket from a reseller. Viagogo is a reseller and they are dodgy. Yeah, and the Commerce Commission actually took them to court, didn't they?

Yeah. Or tried to, yeah. Yeah. And the number, oh no wait, airfares, that's number two. Shit, you're nailing this list thing, aren't you? You are nailing it. I'm erratically scrolling and it's not... What about, what's the issue with airfares? It's simple, you buy a ticket, you get nailing this list thing, aren't you? You are nailing it. I'm erratically scrolling and it's not... What about, what's the issue with airfares?

It's simple. You buy a ticket, you get on the plane, plane drops you off. There was a huge surge in complaints about airline refunds. Well, yeah, pre, for the COVID. Yeah, because they weren't refunding. They've dropped off now, apparently,

but yeah, it was a massive issue. Obviously, yeah, worldwide, that was a massive issue. Number one, the number one complaint, and that would have been bolstered due to COVID as well, from Kiwis to Consumer NZ, is supermarket prices. Yeah. Which I could never think to go to the supermarket

and be like, that's expensive. You know who's going to hear about this? Consumer NZ. I paid $3.99 for a head of lettuce in the middle of winter. What's going on here? Well, it's not in season. Oh, come on. You say at the supermarket, God, that's expensive.

And you're huffing and puffing. I'll just get chocolate instead. Yeah, but you don't, I don't know who goes to the extent to complain. Yeah. Well, I mean, didn't they do a big investigation recently? Yeah, and the investigation found it so expensive, but I don't know what happens now. Yeah, we just go, oh, there it is.

We just do that Kiwi thing where we just start whinging and hopefully it solves itself. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. You know, in the movies, revenge. I love revenge. Well, you hold a, revenge. I love revenge. Well, you hold a grudge. But do you know in movies, it's always like the plot is someone stews on their revenge for years and years and years and plots a comeback?

That's like the thing of movies, right? Yeah. And then finally they get their revenge or they try to. Well, a team of university researchers looked into revenge and ran a whole bunch of experiments with people and found that most people, despite Hollywood depictions and movies with revenge, most people prefer to get quick revenge straight away.

What is this saying? Even if it meant dealing a lesser blow to the enemy. Yeah, see, that's your problem. You rush these things. You don't get to enjoy the full... You're impatient. Yeah, and you can make mistakes while getting revenge and you don't get to fully plan it

out and make it look like you didn't do it. So they ran six experiments with revenge and 58% of participants preferred to take immediate revenge. Most of the 1,500 volunteers also chose to take quick revenge over receiving money. So, for example, if something happened and I said to you, I'll give you a couple of hundred dollars

if you don't take revenge on that person, they said no. I mean, it doesn't say how much money. Because if it was like a thousand bucks, you'd do it, right? Yeah. Because then I'd just do the revenge as well. No, you're not allowed to do the revenge. Well, you wouldn't know I did the revenge because I'm sitting on it.

I'm going to let it stew. I would probably take the money even if it was like a hundred bucks. And then still do the revenge. And then you'd want to get revenge on me for taking the money and still doing the revenge. So now I've got a revenge debt to you. You're going to revenge me. What does that say about our psyche though that we would rather get revenge on someone? The experiments also showed people more often chose to wait if they were angrily dwelling on past wrongs in their lives.

Like, so for example, if they're like Vaughn and they hold a grudge. Not that you've really been wronged so much in your life that, you know. Excuse me. Like, nobody killed your dog. I'm a white male. Middle class male. I'm being wronged at every turn. This is not our

year. Don't say that. I'm being wronged at every turn. This is not our year. Don't say that. I'm just, I'm just joshing. I'm just bucking around over here. No, I haven't been wronged a lot in life, but I tell you what, that's because the people who did wrong me are dead now. And it was a perfectly planned accident. So the top six is next.

Good work moving on from those deaths, I suppose. Yeah, I don't want you in trouble. Yeah, fruit and veg is very very expensive, so I've got the top six ways to get around expensive fruit and veg. From the illegal ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. Hello there. Fruit and veg.

Very expensive. If you buy fruit and veg, you probably know that. I don't think, like, you always hear it's expensive, but it's not till you go overseas. I remember going to a supermarket in the UK and just being like, oh my God, stuff is so cheap here. Yeah. And you're just like, how?

But then also, whenever there's those food documentaries, like, you know, Food Inc. and all that. Yeah. It's always how Americans and British and, like, those countries get their food. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's like, oh, there's 16,000 acres of plastic housing and pesticides and blah, blah, blah.

But great news, you can feed your family for two pounds. And so, but then in New Zealand, food's more expensive. But when you see how our food's grown here, substantially better. Not perfect, I'm not saying that, but substantially better. Yeah. So, I don't know. But then it's very expensive. Well, the supermarkets take their cut, don't they?

It's up to 400% sometimes, the marker. Literally, there's a fruit and veg store beside a pizza place by our house. And you look at what it costs to get three tomatoes, you can get two pizzas. I know. It's out of whack, eh? Yeah. So anyway, with fruit and veg being so expensive, we've got the top six ways to get around expensive fruit and veg.

Number six, eat a meat nana. Bananas are expensive. Yeah. Eat a meat one. It's called a sausage. A meat nana. A meat nana. Okay, good.

Yeah. And different flavours too. Not just the same old banana. Now you've got pork and fennel. That's expensive though. You're probably getting up there with the price of your nanas. Number five on the list of the top six ways to get around expensive fruit and veg. Do you like pineapples?

Yeah, love them. Do you still come out to our supermarket? My supermarket. No. My supermarket. Your supermarket sucks. They've got one of those dull pineapple machines. Oh, my God.

Do you know I used one? Yes. I can't say no. I used one? Yes. I can't say no. I can't say no. No, because I think it was when I was in Wanaka, I went into the new world. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And they have it. It's a machine and you put your pineapple in and you press play. And it goes. No, I've seen it. And it makes pineapple rings. Yeah. It wastes like 80% of the pineapple, doesn't it? Like you could cut it at home and save more. Because you know, pineapples, one of my favorite ever facts of the day was that pineapples take three years to grow.

I know. One single pineapple. I know. And then you leave it out on the bench and it goes, meh. And you chuck it in the bin. I think about that every time. I'm like, oh, three years. Three years.

Exactly. Eat the whole thing. So pineapples. Yeah. Could be expensive. You should try a bready pineapple ring. It's called a donut. Okay.

Cheaper. Yeah. Cheaper. Where's that on the food pyramid, though? Bottom part. Grains. Because it's bread. Grains and bread.

Yeah, okay. Also, like, how clever were bread companies in the 80s when that food pyramid came in? They were like, we're on the bottom. Yeah. Everyone's like, stuffing clever were bread companies in the 80s when that food pyramid came in? They were like, we're on the bottom. Yeah. Everyone's like, stuffing their face with bread. And then later on, it's like, shouldn't have been bottom. Yeah.

Number four on the list of the top six ways to get around expensive fruit and veg. Do you like plums? Yeah, love them. Eat a meat plum, also known as a meatball. It's a meat plum. No stone either, so you can just, like like really get in there with your teeth without... Yeah. Bite in with no fear.

No fear of hitting that stone. Number three on the list of the top six ways to get around expensive fruit and veg, everyone loves coleslaw. It's a mix of multiple, you know, good for you veggies. Yeah. I mean, the mayonnaise probably outnumbers all the good work. It goes out the window when you add the mayo. But coleslaw's expensive.

Try a lolly coleslaw, also known as a party mix. A lolly coleslaw. And you can pour chocolate sauce in if you're missing the sauce. Yeah, yum. Okay. Number two, while we're on the leafy greens, number two on the top six ways to get around expensive fruit and veg, lettuce. Very expensive this time of year.

Yeah. Because it's not in season. It all has to be hydroponically grown in grow houses. But I tell you what it doesn't need to be, meat lettuce, otherwise known as bacon. Tell me that's not like lettuce. But better. Pretty much, yeah

And number one on the list of the top six ways to get around expensive fruit and veg Mandarins Everyone loves a mandarin I love them New Zealanders love satsumas I've got four mandis today Are we getting out of the mandarin season? Yeah, getting the rubbish Australian ones and the yuck ones

Well, try a packet of chocolate mandarins They're also known as Jeffers. That's going to save you money. Good options. Lots of money. That is today's top six. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. Google Trends launched in 2006 where we could

see what was trending. The trending tool. Yeah. I like Google. I always forget about it because they always bring out the end of year lists, which are always pretty entertaining, like what we Google. Yeah. And is it always my home province of Taranaki? Gay bombs. Gay bombs.

It's a gay- Not together. Gay- Gay stuff. Gay stuff and bombs. Because you might be thinking, what do you mean by gay stuff? But then it's not necessarily like adult content. It's like gay events.

It's like a whole, it's an array of, I think, the word gay and then also how to make bombs. Although that was a few years ago. Yeah. I don't know if that's still the same now. But I feel like we hit it more than once. Eh. Oh, definitely more than once.

Definitely more than once. Yeah. Okay. Something's going on down there on the internet. Mm-hmm. So they've released a comparison of July 2006 when it launched, the trends then, and July 2021 to compare what we were Googling. Okay.

In four different categories. So first of all, celebrities. Well, who we was Googling in 2006. Orlando Bloom. No. No. No. Johnny Depp. No.

Yes, Johnny Depp's on the list. Oh, really? Because Pirates of the Caribbean, right? We're huge. Yeah, right. And also, this is UK. Harry Potter? Daniel Radcliffe?

No. Oh, the Queen. Princess Di. Yeah. Do you just want me to tell you? Yes, please. Robbie Williams was in there. Oh, yeah.

That was like coming off the peak of Robbie Williams, wasn't it? Yeah. Do you just want me to tell you? Yes, please. Robbie Williams was in there. Oh, yeah, that was like coming off the peak of Robbie Williams, wasn't it? Christina Aguilera was being searched. Sid Barrett. Don't know who that is. Sid Barrett. It's one of the Barrett brothers that plays ruggers, isn't it? Sure. And Lily Allen

was the top search. Oh, yep, okay. Take it back to 2021. Oh, Sid Barrett was the lead singer of Pink Floyd. He died in 2006. Oh, yep. Okay. Take it back to 2021. Oh, Sid Barrett was the lead singer of Pink Floyd. He died in 2006. Oh, okay. So that'll be why. Oh, I'm embarrassed I didn't know who that was now.

In 2021, Piers Morgan. Tom Cruise is who they're Googling in the UK. Because he's in the UK on and off filming Mission Impossible. Yeah. Florence Pugh, amazing actress. Jadon Sancho is the top celebrity search in the UK for 2021. Jadon Sancho is an English footballer. Okay.

Recently traded from one team to another team. I know about trading because I watch Ted Lasso. Yeah. Sports trading. Yeah. The number one searched celebrity in the UK, and I'd say probably all around the world, in 2021 is Britney Spears.

Yeah, okay. Free Britney. Song lyrics. July 2006. Rihanna's Unfaithful, Smile by Lily Allen, Buttons, Pussycat Dolls, Sexy Love, Neo and Maneater. Nelly Furtado is what we were good with in 2006. Now people want the lyrics for Sweet Caroline, Neil Diamond.

Great song. Also a football song, right? One of the football team singer in the stadium. Three Lions, Bad Aline Skinner, Bad Habits, Ed Sheeran. Yeah. Vin Deleu by Fat Lez and Traitor, Olivia Rodrigo. Okay. Right.

The other two are exercises and sporting events. Now, the sporting events, they don't actually change that much. Wimbledon, F1. Right. Olympus this year. What exercises were we all Googling in 2006? What was the number one? In 2006, number one was stomach exercises.

Okay. And after a global pandemic, what are they Googling now? Hit workout. High intensity interval training. Because you've got to lose that fat to uncover the stomach. Also in 2021, pelvic floor exercises is up there. That's good. Everybody should be working on those. Yeah. Can you

explain to me, in 2021, there's something called plantar fasciitis exercises. How do I spell this? P-L-A-N-T-A-R In what category? Plantar fasciitis. Oh, okay.

An inflammation of a thick band that connects the heel bone to the toes. C-A-R. In what category? Plantar. This is exercises. Oh, okay. Fis- An inflammation of a thick band that connects the heel bone to the toes. Plantar fasciitis. Inflamed tissue runs along the bottom of the foot. Symptoms include stabbing pain near the heel. That is the third most Googled in 2021. What are people doing in lockdown? Oh, you can wear a night splint on your foot.

You put it on and it holds the foot open. Ah. Ah. Weird. Oh, you can wear a night splint on your foot. You put it on and it holds the foot open. Weird. Next on the show, it's the world's most chaotic radio game show. Yes. Megan and I know nothing of this. We're going to whittle six contestants down to one as quickly as we can. The one person remaining could win something up to the value of $100.

The World's Most Chaotic Game Show. Welcome to the World's Most Chaotic Game Show. We're six contestants and we whittle down to one where one person will win a prize up to the value of $100. We've already lost Rachel on line five, which shows me chaos reigns. Well, do you want to know what a five people conference on the same phone line sounds like? Yep. Good morning, everybody. Good morning.

Morning, morning. Look at them. They're all there. That's a pretty well... Are we waiting to fill line five? Hold on, we've got... Yeah, we had a bad... And it's got somebody on line five.

We had a bad phone line, which... No, is it gone? We can play with five contestants. That's the sort of chaos we're dealing with. Okay, yeah, bad phone line. Oh, someone's calling through there Get them on You want the chaos

This is what you want I want the chaos I want to thrive in the chaos We're going to take these five Maybe six contestants I want to know who this contestant is That's trying to join last minute Here, have we got a thumbs up?

Or have we got a no? No, it's a no Okay, we're playing with five Don't worry about it Five locked in Rachel's gone And we eliminate one of the rounds Let's eliminate that round.

Alright. Round one. One of you is not going to survive this. Jamie, pick a colour. Wait, do you need me to start round one? Round one. Jamie, pick a colour.

Gordon, pick a colour. Aaliyah, pick a colour. Blue. Gordon, pick a colour. Red. Aaliyah, pick a colour. Pink. Pink. April, pick a colour. Yellow. Serena, pick a colour. Orange.

April's gone. That's my least favourite colour. Yellow's gone. See you later, April. Thanks for playing. It's round two. What? What?

Round two. What Sp What? Round two. What Spice Girl am I not thinking of? Jamie. Sporty. Gordon. Spice Girl. Gordon. Which Spice Girl am I not thinking of?

All of them. Gordon, you're gone from the game. That's not an answer. Round three. Round three. Round three. Name a famous Chris, please. Serena. A famous what?

A famous Chris. Philip. Chris Philip. Never heard of him. You're gone from the game. See you later, Serena. Round four. Round four. Round four.

Jamie, name something that costs under $100. Fruit. Fruit? I need a specific type of fruit, Jamie. Banana. Okay. Alia, name something that costs under $100. Packet of chips.

I like a packet of chips. Congratulations, you won a packet of chips. Alia, congratulations. What just happened? That's the world's most counted game show. And we've got our first ever winner. Alia, congratulations, your prize is a packet of chips. Lovely, thanks.

If she'd known that, she could have chosen something worth more. She should have. My favourite part about that is just Jamie laughing the whole time. It's ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. Also, who's Chris Phillip? Who's Chris Phillip? Who's Chris?

Serena's won. She has the talk in the whole game. The name of him is Chris. Chris Phillip. Yeah, do you think that's won. Shows the talk in the whole game. Name of famous Chris. Chris Phillip. Yeah, do you think that's coming back? No, I don't think so. 100%. Different rounds every time.

Different rounds every time. Congratulations. I don't know about that. Enjoy those chips. A member of the UK Parliament. Never heard of him. Never heard of him. ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan.

There's only a few people I actually text message. Like, I don't even text you guys. We Facebook Messenger. But even our group on Messenger, Megan won't even see half the stuff we say. You'll be like, why didn't you guys tell me that goss? Or why didn't you tell me about this? And we'll be like...

But our Facebook group, so much goes by in like half an hour. And I miss it. Turn off the press, see? Yeah, it's just like that chat is lit and I can't keep up. Anyway, so I was texting. There's probably three people I text. My best friend, my mum and my husband.

Now, my mum's staying with me while my husband is away on tour with Madagascar, the musical. Tickets available still. Tickets available. Tickets available. They're in Wellington now if you want to go along. But I was booking in my dog. I need to get a haircut. Leo needs a haircut.

He's very fluffy. What? Do you not do it yourself? I used to. Yeah, because I thought I remembered you do. The clip is when you do it. And I also, I nicked his ear one time and it was not a good time. Oh, yeah.

So I didn't want to do it again. When you say do it yourself, you just buy some clippers. Yeah. From like Kmart or the warehouse. Our Ralph, our bigger dog, he'd be harder to groom. But like, and he's also got a lot of hair. But Lulu's like old now. So we're just like, who cares?

Oh, my God. Do it ourselves. Elder abuse. Yeah, it is. It's like sitting your Nana down and be like, we're not paying for Just Cuts, Nana. who cares? Oh, my God. Do it ourselves. Elder abuse. Yeah, it is. It's like sitting your nana down and being like, we're not paying for just cuts, nana. Who cares? No one's seeing you.

No one's seeing you. You don't want nets. Just give her a buzz cut. Nana buzz cut. Oh, Jesus. Yeah. She should have saved more for her rhyming. Poor old thing. She blew it all up the TAV. By the way, more for a Ryman. Poor old thing.

She blew it all up. This is, by the way, this isn't the case. My nan, Marlene, my only living grandparent remaining. Perm. Perm. A lovely perm. A lovely perm. Yeah.

We'd never shave her head. So. Unless. Unless, you know, times got tough. And then. But she, like, grew up Irish poor. So she'd be like, do it. Yeah.

I'm not paying for that. Do it. So, anyway, there's three people I text. The reason I told you this is because I was sending a text message to, I text my dog groomer to set up a time. Okay. It's real cash. I'm like, hey, can I book my dog Leo in for a groom?

She hits me back with a time and a place and Sunday one o'clock if you're interested. And I was like, hit it and great. Okay. I text back half an hour later being like, lock me in. Okay. It's done in my mind. Two hours later, it's 8.30 and I'm like, oh, it's time for bed. I'm real tired. And because my husband's away, we

text each other goodnight so that we know we're signing off for the night. No more messages. So I'm hitting the hay early because I'm tired and I send my husband the goodnight message. I'm like, I'm going to bed early. Goodnight, baby.

Kiss, kiss, kiss. Well Well that's not too bad from you Because normally I thought it would be like Snacky cookies Imagine me licking your face Look, it's been a while between sexy messages for me guys Are people still saying that? No Imagine me putting my tongue in your ear hole

And now I'm biting your earlobe. That's like starting something. That's not like a goodnight text. I see I'm bad at that too. Having done a lot of long distance. Yeah, that's this. You're not going to be at any point. My shadow's always telling me she's tired.

I'm like, I don't know what this means. She's trying to get it going, but she's not. Okay, okay, cool. I am really terrible at this. So yeah, I'm like, goodnight baby. I'm off she's not. Okay, okay, cool. I am really terrible at this. So, yeah, I'm like, goodnight, baby. I'm off to bed early. Kiss, kiss, kiss. That's when I get a message being like, hello, I'm sorry,

but we're fully booked, actually. And she didn't give me an appointment on time. I was like, okay, so I text my dog groomer, goodnight, baby. Kiss, kiss, kiss. Wow. Do you know her that well? No. Oh, yeah, right.

No, not even that much banter. Drop him off, thank you, pick him up. Yeah, right. And that's when she cancelled my appointment as well. Well, she doesn't want you to be cranked on her. Goodnight, baby. And I text back and I said, I'm really sorry, that was for the wrong person, but no confirmation on whether my dog grooming appointment's been reinstated.

Because you confirmed your appointment, but she's cancelled it because you're a creep. And rightly so. Said I didn't text back fast enough. So she... I also don't feel like I can go back to her now. No, you're going to need a whole new dog grooming place. Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of dog grooming places. No, so're going to need a whole new dog grooming place. Yeah. Yeah.

But I'd like to know. There's a lot of dog grooming places. No, so you'll be fine. You'll be fine. Yeah, okay. Just don't creep on anymore. You'll get a reputation. You'll go to a book and they'll be like,

but they all talk. They're all in an industry. It's a small industry. It's a small industry. Super tight in the community. Yeah. But I mean, it wasn't that sexy. It could have been way worse, honestly.

Oh, it could have been a dirty photo. Imagine that. Or imagine if you'd said something like, so I just shaved my poodle. And she'd be like. I was so. Was it more of a chihuahua? What's her, I just.

I don't know. I just shaved my Bichon. And Bichon Griffin. And the woman's like, oh, well, you don't need the appointment. Then you're like, sorry, wrong person. Oh, my God. Wow. I don't know what I want it to be called. I just washed my shih tzu.

Stop thinking of dog breeds. Stop it. I want to know if anyone can do that. My golden retriever's been very naughty I just got nipped by my lab Okay I get it Yeah, yeah, yeah

Just clicked, didn't you? That one I did not intend Okay Labrador That's why I said stop I should have listened Ashley Bloomfield Is going to be on the show soon

Can you calm down He's cancelled Get it out Get it out Okay So I want to know If anyone can beat that Who have you text

What did you text them In terms of embarrassment Like texting the wrong person Yeah Okay And what happened afterwards Did you get your appointment cancelled Okay

This is purely Just to make you feel better Please Okay Because you know There's going to be people listening That have sent pictures To the wrong people What happened afterwards? Did you get your appointment cancelled? Okay, this is purely just to make you feel better. Please. Okay. Because you know there's going to be people listening that have sent pictures to the wrong people. Yeah, good stuff. Good stuff.

When it's not you. Tell me about it. When it's not you. You know, I bet like dog groomers are some of the only people. I bet dog groomers get all sorts of wrong texts. Yeah. In that industry alone. Yeah.

All right, 0800DARLSATM. You can text 9696. Let's make Megan feel better this morning. Who did you text? I would like to know where you've messaged someone the wrong thing. I text my dog groomer. Good night, baby. And she swiftly cancelled your appointment.

Appointment. Yeah. Yeah. Leah's not getting groomed anytime soon. I'm going to have to find a new groomer. So who did you text and what did you say? This is purely just to make Megan feel better about this. We want to hear from people in worse off situations.

Some text. My boyfriend was out hunting for the weekend. I sent a video to him of me playing with my boobs. Okay. Now, if I may stop for a moment. Yeah. If you were to send a video of yourself playing with your boobs, how would you do it?

Would you set the camera on? I noted that you're looking at fleets currently. I felt I will come to you next. I wanted to open with him. It was inappropriate to open with you. That's why I said. Yeah. So I'm sitting right now.

I've got my phone on my laptop. I've opened the selfie cam. And then I would be like, yeah. Because if you were just one-handing, you'd have to. Yeah, one hand. You're going to be more like giving yourself a breast exam. Well, you did long distance with your husband for quite a while, Megan. How did you do your boobie videos?

Just on Skype, wasn't it? Snapchat, I think. I'd always be pushing mine together too Snapchat Okay Oh give yourself some cleave hon Yeah but that's what I'm saying Yeah of course

Anonymous Who did you accidentally Oh wait I didn't finish the story Oh what happened? They made a boobie video One handed or two handed They didn't you know stipulate And instead of sending it to their boyfriend

Who was out hunting He was probably out of coverage anyway, she accidentally sent it to her own cousin. And couldn't get it back. Is this a cousin that would come to Christmas? Very awkward. Very awkward Christmas. Anonymous, who did you text accidentally?

It was a Friday after Rick drinks, Saturday job, like corporate, so I was drinking with some heavy hitters and some veterans. Yeah. Heavy hitters. Many shots. Made my way over to the bathroom, felt queasy, was falling asleep in the bathroom on the floor.

Texted who I thought was my boyfriend, help me as I was falling asleep. Fell asleep in the bathroom. Two hours later, woke up to like 100 odd missed calls from my dad. Oh, my God. Okay, that is not a message a dad wants to receive. Especially when he's not getting hold of you afterwards. Yeah, and all like my sisters and my family.

Like, where are you? Are you okay? And I'm like, yeah, I'm just in the bathroom of a bar. Oh, my God, that's my worst nightmare. Wow, anonymous. Poor dad. Yeah, thanks for sharing. Candice, who did you accidentally text?

It wasn't me, but it was my partner a few years ago. Okay. So he was selling one of his cars to a guy off Trade Me. Yeah. And he texted the guy to meet up at our house and do the deal, and that was that. Yeah. And then a little bit later on that night,

he was actually upstairs in the bathroom for quite a while. So he decided that he would text me just to let me know what's going on. Yeah. And he texted, I have runny poos. With a little sad face emoji. That's terrible. Okay. Turns out it didn't go to me.

It went to this other guy that we sold the car to. And the guy responded. And he goes, who is this? It's the guy that you bought a car off of when he put it. It was literally like a matter of five hours ago but yeah oh no Candice thank you for

sharing some text messages to finish up I had a job interview confirmed via text the interview was quite

unprofessional and I was certain I wouldn't get the role as I left the interview I texted my partner saying well that was

awful but at least I nailed it and sent it to the interviewee instead never heard from them oh I was going to say did they message back no yeah no they didn't That was awful, but at least I nailed it and sent it to the interviewee instead. Never heard from them. Oh, I was going to say, did they message back?

No. Yeah. No, they didn't. Dr. Ashley Bloomfield joins us on the show. We don't have a lot of time. He is a very busy man and high demand, so we won't muck around too much. Good morning. Morning.

How's everyone? Good. Thank you. How are you? Very well, too. Thanks. Good to get to Friday. Yes.

Now, yesterday, the big announcement, everybody over the age of 16 from the 1st of September will be able to book an appointment to get their first vaccine over 40s from next Wednesday. Now, we've asked our listeners a lot of questions. We've asked 40 questions for you, and we have a lot of them. We'll run through them. Someone said, what is the correct time I should wait between vaccine doses for Pfizer?

Well, we announced yesterday we're extending that out, the standard gap to six weeks. We know all the clinical trials were done on a three-week gap. By extending it out to six weeks, it means we can get down through the age groups quicker and more people with that first dose on board. So standard six weeks. If it's less than that for any reason, then that's not a problem. It's a very safe, effective vaccine. Because I saw that it was more effective or something of that description,

if you waited longer. I've already had my first dose. So if you are already booked in and I'm waiting three weeks, you're not suggesting that I should then rebook and wait a little bit longer? Look, you can rebook if you want to. Three weeks is fine. But the main reason we're extending out to six weeks is just that means we can get more people with that first dose on board and get a reasonably good level of protection a bit earlier than we can with the three-week gap. Okay. Somebody's asking, will children be able to get the vaccine under 16s? Yeah, look, we've had a look at the evidence for under 16s. It's approved for under 16s, and the government's just going to make a decision about that pretty shortly.

And, of course, we're also watching at the trials around the world for its use in kids even under 12, because if it's safe and effective in our younger children, we'd want to get them protected too. And so we'll keep an eye on that. But probably the evidence from those studies won't be through until a bit later in the year. Do you think the COVID vaccine will be like MMR, HPV? Like it will just be a vaccine that people get at a certain age?

Will it join like the vaccine schedule or will it be more like the flu vaccine where we get it and we get boosters? Yeah, hard to tell exactly. At the moment, our thought is it's a bit more like the flu that actually, especially because we're seeing these new variants emerge and some of the vaccines, not Pfizer though, but some of the vaccines have got less protection against the new variants, in which case you might need to have a sort of a booster shot or an update, you know, every one or two years. The good thing is at the moment, the Pfizer vaccine is still very effective against the Delta variant. So people can be reassured about that.

A lot of people have messaged in asking, is it safe if you're pregnant to get the vaccine? Yeah, look, when the vaccine first came out, because it was very new, countries were cautious about this, but it's been used in pregnant women around the world and no safety issues there. So I'd encourage pregnant women, have a chat to your doctor or your midwife, but strongly encourage you to get vaccinated as well because we know if pregnant women get COVID,

it can have much worse effects than it can on other people. What's a good, somebody asked, I've got friends and family who aren't anti the vaccine but hesitant about the vaccine. What's like a good way to approach the subject with them now that everybody can get it? Yeah, well, a good way to approach it is actually just to get them the information and make sure that if they've got any questions, they ask those questions of someone they trust.

And, you know, just have a look around. We've given over 2.3 million doses now around the Motu. And you can see people are not only getting protected, but it is a really safe vaccine. Hundreds of millions of doses now around the world. And especially as we see these new variants like Delta, and there will be others, the vaccine is clearly the best thing that people can do

to protect themselves and their families and whānau. Someone wants to know, could the trans-Tasman bubble, I mean, maybe this isn't your area, but could the trans-Tasman bubble open to some states of Australia, but not others? Like, obviously, New South Wales is in a bad state at the moment, but there are states where they're doing better. Is that a possibility again, or? Yeah, look, it's a possibility, but clearly it's not something we're going to be rushing into anyway.

The government said they'll review the trans-Tasman quarantine-free travel at the end of September. But as you saw from the announcements yesterday, at the moment it's sort of a let's hunker down, vaccinate as many people as possible and just watch that situation in Australia really carefully. Right, final question. Somebody messaged in wanting to know if you and Jacinda

ever hang out and have a wine outside of work. Oh, I'm actually more a beer man myself. Right. I take every invitation as it comes on its merit. Yeah. Craft beer or, like, big brand beer? I do like craft beer, actually. There you go.

Yeah, nice. Yeah, we're talking, like, an extra parallel. We're talking, like, a stout. I'm a stout man. I'm a craft beer, actually. Yeah, nice. Are we talking like an extra parallel? Are we talking like a stout? I'm a stout man. I'm a stout convert recently. Yeah, probably a good winter drink. I knew it. Fantastic.

Dr. Ashley Blomfield, thank you very much for your time this morning. Really appreciate it. Thanks very much. Go well. All right, nice. And if you want any further info about the COVID vaccines, if you want to book your appointment from the 1st of September

or if you're eligible now, you can go to the COVID.gov website. Should we repeat our PSA? If you're trying to book it online and it's giving you a delay, look around. Well, yeah, that's the thing. People are saying, oh, I can't get an appointment for like maybe a few weeks, but there are pharmacies that are offering them that have appointments. You might, maybe even if you just travel to a different suburb.

Yeah, that's what I did. Got it the same day I booked it. Yeah, and the other site you were looking at had nothing for like five weeks. Until September, yeah. So just look around. All right. If you're keen to get it early.

ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. The BBC Three Are doing yoga On air yoga next year I don't know why they need to give everybody A six month warning at the time This is one of the radio Next year we're doing yoga

Yeah one of the radio sessions in the UK Yeah Yeah I don't That is weird eh Yeah Why don't they just do it Dunno Like if you're gonna do something

You've gotta do it straight away So no one steals your idea Like Vaughn Now we stole it You gave us six months head start Yeah When you start it When the BBC starts it

People will be like They've been doing that in New Zealand for six months But also they don't like proper yoga We are very well aware that The majority of our audience at this time of day Very busy people That's why we appreciate when you call It's a busy time of the day

Yeah God Good on ya guys So we appreciate when you call. It's a busy time of the day. Yeah. God. Good on you, guys. So we thought if you're driving, if you're getting stuff ready, you've only really got your face spare. Yeah. So we thought we'll do it on Friday, get ready for the weekend,

get warmed up, you know, get through that last day of the week. Yep. Without alcohol yet. Yep. And I think 11 o'clock's a good time to start drinking. Sure. On a Friday. There's no rules, though'clock's a good time to start drinking. Sure. On a Friday. There's no rules, say. There's no rules.

Make up your own time. So, ladies and gentlemen, welcome everybody to Friday Face Yoga. Namaste to you all. You've got to say namaste. Okay. It's Do your homework. I'm impressed. Do something with your hands. I do this one. Fist flat hand. Okay. Because it looks a little bit tough.

I just feel so uneasy with your calming voice. It's really in my ear holes. Alright everybody. Warm up today. Friday facial yoga with a gasp. Gasp. Like you've just heard that David Schwimmer and Jennifer Aniston are dating in real life.

But they're not. That exhales where you've found out their reps have just issued a statement saying they're just friends. One more time. Oh, are they dating? The statement has been issued. They're not dating. They're just friends. Exercise two.

I want you to roll your eyes back in your head like you've just received a message on Facebook that starts with, hey babe, long time, from a school friend trying to get you to buy into the next layer below them in a multi-level marketing scam. Just be like... And roll them back again because, oh my God, it's airborne. Stick your fist up your ass, Stephanie. Namaste. Your fizz sticks.

It didn't sound like fizz sticks. It sounded like fish sticks. Okay, so that's a no to Stephanie's airborne. Absolutely. And remember to keep breathing through these exercises. Next exercise. I want everyone to just breathing through these exercises. Next exercise. I want everyone to just gently look around, stretching their neck.

Look around like there's no Olympics to watch and you're wondering what to do with yourself rather than sitting down and judging professional athletes for a sloppy entry to the pool. Like you could have done any better.

Yeah, or watching someone fall over in the hurdles and calling them an uncoordinated dick. Like you have ever jumped anything that high in your life. That's a good neck stretch. Oh, yeah, that's good. Pull it round. Next, let's move to the side of the head. Okay.

You're feeling relaxed over there, aren't you? Yeah, I am. I just want to welcome Megan to the class. Thank you. One of my star pupils. Next, I want everyone to wiggle their ears like you've just seen somebody do it and you want to see if you can do it, but you can't. I can't do that.

Everybody's got a different approach to this. Some people go neck heavy. That's me. I'm down in the neck. Some people go a little forehead crazy, like the Botox is wearing off and they're finally getting the feeling back in their forehead. This is what movement feels like.

Next, I want you to concentrate on the main breathing passage. The nose. I want you to flare the nostrils like you're going to pick it. Imagine a finger up there having a good dig around because there's something hard up there but you can't quit. And I want you to just think about, but stop short of, putting a finger on one nostril and going... Doing a little snotty at the side.

And finally, let's warm up that organ we call the mouth with one of these. Good, yeah. Like you're in a house that's just had its power cut even though it's the coldest night of the year. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. Fascinating news. And great news.

If you enjoy an Indian curry, this has particularly been pointed out to food of Indian origin. Yeah. Because I can get curries from other parts. And this week there's been a whole lot of question of if curry's the appropriate word to umbrella a whole lot of food under, or if it's colonialism at its finest. Okay, so you're cancelled.

Well, I'm yet to read more about it. I'll paint myself here as somewhat ignorant on the subject, and hope certainly not to offend anybody. But there is an ingredient in Indian curries that can, should we say, kickstart the libido.

Don't look at me like that. What you're saying is gross. Fenugreek is a plant that is commonly used in Indian cuisine. Okay. And it improves libido in healthy women. I won't say what specific is listed, specifically is listed here as to assist, but yeah, it can kickstart it.

Increased libido, lower irritability, and enhanced estradiol, the major female sex hormone. Not in men? I mean, men are just pretty much down for it any time of the day. Yeah, that's true. They could eat a sausage roll from the bakery and be like, I don't know what was in that sausage roll, but you get over here. I'm ready.

I'm ready. Because after like a butter chicken naan combo, I'm the last thing I feel like eating. Yeah, but that's because there's no spice in yours. It's too milky. No one feels like it after any milk-based anything, right? There's a lot of cream in butter chicken. Milk's a mood killer.

I agree, though. If you're getting a naan and rice and some kind of like, even like a vindaloo, you'd just be like, I'm not on my nose. Not tonight, hon. I'm full of rice and carbs. Don't touch my stomach. That's practicing self-control.

Okay. So it moderates that. Menopause a woman. It can reduce various discomforts. Is this fenugreek that you're talking about? Yes. Okay, specifically that spice. Yes.

Right. I don't know what that is. I don't know. Is it fennel? I've never heard that before. Fenugreek. Yeah, it's little seeds, isn't it? Tiny, bitter seeds of the herb fenugreek.

Toasted gently, they exhibit a strong aromatic and pungent flavor. Kind of like brownie orange is a picture of them here. So maybe just get that in the old mortar and pestle. Pestle, pestle. Pestle. I'm sure you could buy a ground powder. Nothing like grinding it yourself. You love the grinder, don't you?

Get it in there. Nothing like grinding it yourself. You love the grinder, don't you? Grind it up yourself and it can maybe sprinkle a bit of that on your... That's a bloody love guru over here. How many women are going to come home to them men grinding up some fenugreek in the night? What are they supposed to learn from? What are you making? I'm just literally grinding this lovemaking powder. Good luck with that. Friday Flashback.

But it is a Friday tradition. Each week we take a turn picking a song that has to be at least 10 years old. Has to be a banger. Has to be a banger. Now I have gone for one of Romania's sweethearts.

Yeah. Who even knew? This was number one in Romania for 11 weeks. Charted all over the world. It was a huge hit in 2011. It was still in the charts this time exactly 10 years ago. It was like number 40 odd. But it did get to number four in New Zealand.

Okay. Okay. Dracula. We did love this techno banger. Is that your... Romanian sweetheart. Right, no. Dracula wasn't really known as a Romanian sweetheart. With his heartbreak song.

Yeah. I just want to suck a blood. This artist won the Best European Act at the MTV Europe Awards. The song won awards for being the best song in Romania. She wanted to go to the beach, but I can't go outside during the day. Her favourite food was garlic bread. No, you're off. You're food was garlic bread. No. No. You're off.

You're off. Slightly off. Wow. Alexandra Sten. This song is 10 years old now. Mr. Saxo, that is your Friday flashback. On to them.

You make me this. Bring me up. Bring me down. Thank you. Mr. Saxo beat makes me dance, bring me up, bring me down. Play it sweet, make me move like a freak. Mr. Saxo beat makes me dance, bring me up, bring me down. Play it sweet, make me move like a freak. Mr. Saxo beat. ស្រូវាប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ព This is Psycho Beat. You are the one I need. You make me this, bring me up, bring me down. Play it sweet, make me move like a freak. It's the sex of it, make me this, bring me up, bring me down. Play it sweet, make me move like a freak. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah, bring me up, bring me down Play it sweet, make me move like a freak It's just like to beat Make me this, bring me up, bring me down Play it sweet, make me move like a freak It's your Saxo Beat. It's your Friday flashback on ZM. It's Alexandra Stan, Mr. Saxo Beat. Ten years old now, that song. Nuts.

Yeah. Are you looking through the text trying to find a bad one? Everybody just wants the Dracula remix. I can't believe this is 10 years old. This is a song that was pumping the first time I went clubbing. I feel so old. Well, if you want to feel older, I'd finished clubbing by the time that song came out. I was well out of that.

Somebody said, I always thought this was a Rihanna song. Oh, really? Full volume banger. Someone said, never mind the fenugreek. This song does it for me. That's in reference to before we learned that there's a herb often used in Indian cooking that can get everybody going.

Well, there you go. Get a libido pump and say, get a hot curry in you and then listen to that song. Mr. Saxo beat. Somebody else said, I have just realized that there's no whistles to that song. Mr. Saxo beat. Somebody else said, I have just realised that there's no whistles in this song. That was just the time when everyone was taking whistles out and blowing whistles. Yeah, you had to be way a whistle for that song.

It was a thing. Yuck. Yeah, no, overall pretty, a few haters. A few haters. Oh, when you're this popular though, people will hate. Yeah. When you're this popular, though, people will hate. When you're this good with your pics for Friday Flashback. Each week, people just want to mow you down because you're so good every week. That's the problem, I find.

You can't relate, Megan. Vaughn and I can. Next week on Friday Flashback, I'm going to be playing a song that Fletch sung and danced to. Huh? What song? When we went out in Queenstown and we had a few beverages, I opened my notes in my phone and I was like, he can't say because he really does.

Okay, then he sang along. He sung. You went out and danced The two of you It was so loud and it cost so much money I had a horrible time But I never I can't say no

Everyone's going to be on board How many people have regrets Because they've been to Cowboys in Queenstown A lot of people And the mechanical ball wasn't working Thankfully How many people have regrets because they've been to Cowboys in Queenstown? A lot of people. I'd say everybody. And the mechanical ball wasn't working. Thankfully.

Oh, God. They had the skid game. Have you seen the skid game? No. You skid these plonkers and people knew I was. There's this big long table and there's sand on the table and you've got to. It's like ice. You know the ice?

What do they do at the Olympics? Curling. Curling. Curling the tabletop. Curling. Right. Shit at it. It looked fun and then they were like, do you want to go? And I was like, yes, yeah. Curling the tabletop. Curling. Right. Shit it. It looked fun and then they were like, do you want to go?

And I was like, yes, please. And then I was real bad at it. Yeah. It was harder than a lot. It's a great story. Great thanks for telling us that story. It was so good. You're most welcome.

A guy who was best man at a wedding has posted his story. He got kicked out. Best man. So the ceremony has happened. Yeah. He, you'll know, best men generally do speeches. Yes. He got up and this is where things took a turn for the worse. He said,

I said to the bridesmaids, I'm a bit short of time here because the best men are supposed to thank the bridesmaids and make comment of the bridesmaids. Yep. He said, bridesmaids I'm a bit short of time here and I don't really know you all so I'd just like to say that five out of six of you look stunning today.

Figure it out amongst yourselves. Okay, like a joke but not, no. It was meant as a joke and apparently the room went dead and he was like. Yeah, that sounds like one of those jokes. You know when you're at a wedding or an event,

you know that they've copied and pasted it from Google? Yes. You've got to read the room. Yeah, that's not a good idea. It's the movie Wedding Crashers, right? Yeah, it's the movie Wedding Crashers where the Wilson that's in that. Owen. Owen. Yeah.

Not Luke. Or Rita. I liked that way too much. I said it and I immediately was like, good one. But a snot came out my nose. Of course it wasn't Rita Wilson. Dumb joke. Back it up, Smith.

You've had a week of it, mate. What was I talking about? He talks about reading the room because Isla Fisher's character says those real snarky things about her sister. And he's like, even if you don't mean it, a wedding is not a place for that. You say the nice things, you get everybody on your side. Yeah.

And that's when the bride afterwards came up to him and said, I think it's just best you leave. And the groom apparently just nodded behind her. He got kicked out, went from best man to worst man. That's not even the worst you hear from wedding speeches. And sometimes there's terrible speeches and they don't get kicked out. Maybe they should have been. Would love to know what happened during a wedding speech.

Maybe you were just witness to it. Right, was it worse than that? I mean, I don't know if people would be kicked out. No, they don't have to have been kicked out. Just the cringeworthy wedding speech. What did someone say? And you're just like, oh, God, bury me. I need a hole to crawl into.

But at the same time, if you're just sitting back at a boring speech. You've been stuck on the back table. Have you ever had the back benches of the wedding? Are you talking about my first wedding? I mean, similarities were definitely. And there certainly was a couple of great speeches at your first wedding. Great for you. For not.

Not for me. So 0800-DARLS-IT-M. If you liked that Dracula remix from before, you'd love the speeches at Megan's first wedding. We can laugh now. Can we? 0800-DARLS-IT-M. You can give us a call.

You can text as well. 9696. Have you been at a call. You can text as well. 9696. Have you been at a wedding with an outrageous speech? And what happened? I don't know if it led to someone getting kicked out or maybe it was just really cringeworthy or a joke that just... Fell flat.

Really fell flat. We're talking about awkward wedding speeches. Someone, the best man, was asked to leave the wedding by the bride after he said five of the six bridesmaids look stunning he'd leave it up to them to figure out which one that's a

it's a falling flat joke that one yeah but um yeah it's just important to remember a wedding speech

isn't a Comedy Central roast no you're not it's not a 21st you're not there even a 21st if the grandparents and stuff are still there

if it's like a family thing if it's just friends absolutely get stuck and set them on fire I've been at a 21st, if the grandparents and stuff are still there, if it's like a family thing, if it's just friends, absolutely get stuck and set them on fire. I've been at a 21st way back when, and there was something inappropriate said and it was... But that's their fault for inviting the grandparents, right? Yeah. No, this did not go down well with anyone there.

Some text messages. Somebody said, my brother-in-law was the MC at our wedding and introduced my dad for a speech by saying he's a man that believes in the sanctity of marriage so much that he's entered into it three times. That's good. That's funny. That's good. Everybody thought it was hilarious apart

from his wife who was indeed the third and maybe not the last. This guy loves getting married. Maddie, what happened at a wedding? Yeah, so my dad had a few beers throughout the day, and it was meant to be a beautiful father of the bride speech, but he started thanking people for coming from abroad,

which somehow led on to plane rides, which somehow led on to terrorists. What? And he just started going on about terrorists. I don't even think he said a word about me, and everyone was like, oh, cut off. Wait, this was your dad? Yeah, my dad.

Oh, no. He doesn't remember a word of it either. Has he just got a few issues with security post 9-11? Must do. Yeah, right, okay. And what, have you hit him up since the wedding? Did you say, Dad, you didn't really say anything about me? Yeah, well, he doesn't remember a word of the speech.

He later found me and kind of said, did I embarrass you? Because someone had obviously said something to him about you. Oh, no. Dad, aren't all people love hearing about the history of Al-Qaeda at a wedding? Huge, huge Taliban fans. Amazing, Maddie. Thanks for your call. So, Lauren, you were a guest at a wedding and a speech didn't go down well.

Yes, yeah. So the best man got up and was roasting the bride while the bride was poking the groom with a fork telling him to sit down. The bride and groom have since broken up and the bride is with the best man. Scandal. Wow. man. Scandal. Yeah. Scandal. Wild. Wild, wild, wild.

That's so expensive. Weddings. Lauren, thanks for your call. Tani, it all went off the rails at a wedding you were at? Yeah, it was they opened the floor up for speeches, which is always risky anyway. What, to strangers?

No, so to people other than the best man? Yeah, yeah, it was kind of a relaxed kind of affair, but still risky. And a guest who had a bit much to drink stood up and things started well. And then she said that she had one thing to say and she launched into her own interesting rendition of Whitney Houston's

I Will Always Love You. Oh, please tell me they let her go on. How long did it go on for? Well, the bride and groom were standing up while the speeches were happening and it just sounded so awkward and everyone was kind of looking at each other

and looking at their feet and I felt that like secondhand embarrassment and she kind of got to her crescendo bit and then her father just kind of made her sit down. No, don't stop her at the crescendo. How good was she though? Not great. Oh no.

We are going to need to hear, we are going to need to hear, We are going to need to hear... Shall I just fast forward it to the good bit? Excuse me, that indicates that not every part of that song is as magical as the next. We all love you. Oh, I'm just imagining the state of it. I would...

Was she singing with no backing? She was just doing an acapella, was she? Acapella, full, yeah. Oh, see, I'd actually pay money to go see that. I'd say that would be a comedy show for me. Was that caught on video, do you know? Oh, I'm not sure. I think it was one of those stunned moments

where nobody really knew what was happening. And my husband and I still laugh about it now. Like, yeah. Executive Intern Anya's birthday karaoke is tomorrow night. Oh, what a banger. I think we've found your song. You're going to get absolutely obliterated. Is this in the warehouse stationery filer folder at the karaoke bar?

I'll make inquiries. I'll make sure it is. Of course it is. It's classic. Tomorrow. I'll make inquiries. I'll make sure it ends by tomorrow. Of course it is. It's classic. It's classic. It's, it's, it's Warnes. Tani, who's better, Warn or the guest at the wedding? Oh, it's pretty much a tie, I think.

Are you kidding me? I sent my heart out of there. I don't think Tani can hear the backing track. It's she probably is hearing your raw vocals. Oh, she's hearing raw me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's, you're at a slight disadvantage here with Whitney Houston not being able to mask the awfulness. Tani, thank you for your call-some-text messages.

People that have seen wedding speeches go... Horribly wrong. Yeah. At the rehearsal dinner the drunk groom in front of the father and the uncles of the bride gave a speech about

how his soon to be wife was lucky to have him because she hasn't exactly aged well. Jesus. That's just that's just the pure roast. That's the worst roast.

And then the next day at the ceremony he got up and said how lucky he was to be marrying the most beautiful woman in the world and we were all like

that's not what you said last night. But that's what he did. That's why you have to practice. He nagged her. Yeah. And then came in hot with the positive, which makes the positive feel better. Yeah.

Yeah, right. That was his approach. I don't agree with it. It's a douchebag move. Yeah. I was a wedding photographer. Honestly, they've seen it all. Yeah.

This was hands down the worst speech I've ever heard. The best man broke into detail about the stag do and put A3 photos of the stag in a Borat costume on the tables. What's he doing? This isn't the stag doer. The stag doer is done and the stag doer is dusted, my friend. We don't talk about that at the wedding. No. I went to a wedding where the MC introduced the bride and groom

and accidentally said the ex-wife's name and the whole room went, Oh my God. ZDM's Fletchmore and Megan. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is that If you have a baby that is born today Yep Four other babies

Will share that exact second of birth In the whole world? Yeah With current birth rates There's 385,000 babies born a day And if you go 60 That's how many seconds there are in a minute Yep

Times 60 That's how many seconds there are in a minute, times 60, that's how many seconds there are in an hour, times 24, that equals 86,400 seconds a day. Now, if you divide 385,000 by 86,400, that's just over four. Just over four. Four babies. Four babies. Four babies.

Four babies. That's nuts. Eight babies. But That's nuts Eight babies But that's if you click every two seconds That's if I was clicking every two See what I did there? Yeah You added

Twelve babies So there are four people With the exact same birth second as you Wow That's not birthday That's birth second And the same information The same website that gave me this information

Theworldcounts.com, has told me it also has a counter of the entire world population, which is 7,916,610,069. Nice. As of right now. It's more now. It's constantly going up. As we just said before, pretty much four babies born a second.

Does it give you how many people die every single year? Well, this takes into account. Yeah, the births and deaths. The births and deaths. And the averages. I've been to websites like that before. They freak you out, eh? Because it kind of reminds you.

This is the most freaky. This is freaky deaky. Underneath that, it says the number of earths we need to provide resources and absorb our waste. Yeah. Oh, don't tell me. So this, anything over one, means that we're overpopulated and we're producing too much waste. Yeah. So one would be square.

Yep. It's 1.79. Because you breeders keep having kids. He's got more than me. How do I defend this? I've killed two people. So you're right because the tally's gone down. I was just replacing them.

I replaced the ones I killed. I mean, I thought you were going to say something like, I've planted some trees. What good is that going to do? In the court of law, you've killed two people. I've killed two people. You've replaced them with my own children. These ones are better.

The ones I killed were rubbish. Yeah, they were criminals, weren't they? They were bad, bad. You're basically Dexter. Yes. You only kill bad people. And then I replace them. Are you free?

Yeah, sure. So anybody that wants to know how many people I've killed, how many children have I got? That is dark. Very dark. That's a good spin-off from Dexter, though. It is, yeah. It's a good spin-off. So today's fact of the day is if you have a child born today

due to current birth rates, that child will share its exact birth second with four people. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan.

All Blacks, Luke Jacobson and Angus Ta'avawa in studio. Good morning. Good morning. Yeah, thanks for having us in. It's a pleasure. So, Australia tomorrow. This will be the last game in. It's a pleasure. So, Australia tomorrow, this will be the last game in New Zealand for a while, won't it? Yeah, sort of like yes and no, fingers crossed that it's not.

Hopefully we can come back and play South Africa for a couple of tests and get around the family. Otherwise, it looks like it's back in the 60s where they caught a ship to Europe and were away for like four months. So hopefully it's not that, but the way everything is at the moment, you sort of just prepare for the worst and ride the wave.

Yeah, because there was a news story that you guys could be going to the end of the year. I'm like, God, that's forever. And then I was like, it's September in two weeks. So it's flying. It is forever when you've got a wife and get it home and they don't want you gone for. So that's on that,

because I've wanted to this about Olympians. For example, like Valerie Adams, too young. Dame Valerie Adams. She has a title and I should address her as such. She went to the Olympics. So she went before she did the Olympics. Now she's staying on for the Paralympics to coach her sister. And then she's going to have two weeks quarantine.

She's got two young kids. Like she obviously loves her sport. But for the people at home, what's that like? You've got kids, Angus, so you... I suppose I should, because Luke's young, handsome and single, so he probably wouldn't understand that. Is that an answer he asked you to say that? Yeah, I'm like pushing him out there.

I'm just like, I'm his advertising agent. Yeah, yeah. You know, he's looking for love. 0800 Luke Jacobson. But yeah, so I talk about dame dame valerie valerie adams um you know i think for her to to go away and achieve like bronze and then i don't even realize she was sacrificing to stay even longer to coach her sister and having a young son myself like a and being a dad um like I find it really hard let alone you know the maternal side and um and having two kids so man big ups to her but yeah it's it's not easy being away and um

you know like we said it's it's four months or whatever it is and and the end of the year and you know it's it's a lot easier for us because we're we're away we're doing things we're playing games we're training all week but you know I just just think about back home and the missus is with the little one and she's, you know, like she's getting worn out and doing all the hard yards, you know, while I'm enjoying the lad's company. You've got a good village around you though? Like if you leave, does your partner have like friends and family and everything to rely on a little bit?

Yeah, so we're sort of based out of Hamilton and Auckland's home home. So like her mum's really awesome. So we sort of plan it, chuck the little one and, you know, offload them into kindy for the start of the week and then she'll head up to Auckland and stay with her mum at the end of the week. So, yeah, we've got some really good sort of things in place and we'll probably have to sort of really look at that if we're away for longer to up it.

And kind of exactly like Megan's husband is touring at the moment dressed up as a cat on the road. Yeah, exactly the same. King plus. They're so confused. Maybe I'd take a cat costume of that. Does that help? You would have to be in Madagascar the musical. Warm up the vocal cords.

You could totally do it. But then unlike modern technology helps, right? You can FaceTime. It's not the same, but it's got to be better than like you say when they used to jump on a ship and disappear for six months. Leave a note and you're off. But yeah, like FaceTime and sending photos is awesome.

Sorry, Luke, you're bloody left out. Oh no, we're about to get into Luke. And how hard it is to get out there overseas with the Delta variant, you know, tearing around and you're a single man looking at the sofa. What's it like on the other end of it going away but your family and everything is still back here. Mates that you're not going to see for a long time. You've got your mates on the road.

Yeah, I guess I can't really compare because Gussie's got a lot of people got kids back that they can separate from. But it's easy for me to just call my parents. I see plenty of them. Gussie's got a lot of people got kids kids back separated from but I mean it's easy for me to just call my parents

I see plenty of them most of the years this is a welcome break away from my family or always asking for tickets I mean I'll miss them

but there's boys in much worse situations than me so not too much God it's like we're sending you

off to war or something again the way we're talking. But I guess it's a long time, yeah. Yeah, it's not too bad. And we obviously all get along really well, so it's not like the time over there is... Dragging.

Yeah, dragging on. We all get along well and spend good time with each other. Yeah. Is it different? Is it just a weird world to be playing international sport in? Yeah, look, it's awesome to be able to still be playing international sport. I think it might be a little bit different once we get it over Europe. I don't know what the setup will be if we're just in like a bubble

and not allowed to go out or anything like that. Might get a little bit sick of the boys by then. Yeah. But yeah, for the meantime at the moment, it's just normal. Obviously in New Zealand, we don't have any restrictions.

Are you guys all vaccinated? Half. Half vaccinated. Almost the double. I think next week we're getting our second jab. Yeah. And then that's got to,

you've got to feel a little bit better after that then. Yeah, well, I felt a bit dusty after the first one to be honest. I was like,

I had it and then I wasn't sleeping that. I was tired and then I got back into camp and heaps of the boys were the same. So I suppose it's like reacting differently to... It affects everybody differently. Like Megan's had her first dose and you said, no mom, but nothing else. No qualms.

Felt like someone gave me a dead arm, but apart from that... I didn't even feel mine going. Like they did it and I was like, oh, we're done. And then you have your 20 minute stand down. But I think it was like the next few days. I don't know if my chest is a bit tight.

I'm tougher than... You're a wimp is what you're saying. Well, I didn't have the dead arm. Sorry guys. I didn't feel the arm. So maybe you work

on your arms. And I'll work on the ticker. Yeah, yeah. Well, the Aussies tomorrow night, what's your... Are you allowed

to ask the players what their score predictions are? Or is that like... I don't know. Do what you want. Game-fixing. Yeah, I think we'll have to report you, mate. Okay, yeah, yeah. We can talk around it.

It's going to happen in the first five minutes of the game. How are you feeling about the second test? Yeah, I think like last week, you know, it was like an arm wrestle and then we got out and then we didn't finish that well. And I think it was 16 penalties to nine. And that's been a real focus for us this week. Obviously, penalties, they get out of their half, they get into our half.

It's a lot easier and we defeat. I think we made something like 70 plus tackles in the last 15 and they made 20. So that's like there's some glaring things that we can work on and we have been working on. And I suppose it's cool to stay in Auckland and really focus on, you know on backing up a test and being back at Eden Park. That's weird though

two tests in a row at the same location, that's got to be something different because generally it's spread around the country a bit more isn't it? Yeah, usually like you're... Meant to be down in Wellington. Yeah, so I think they had to refund a few tickets and it's probably easier for us because we don't have to pack up all our bags, like this sounds

this probably doesn't sound nice man. Oh we have to pack up our bags and you know it's a tough life. Especially we don't have to like pack up all our bags. Like this sounds, this probably doesn't sound like it's mad. Oh, we have to pack up our bags and you know, it's a tough life. Especially after you had a widdle sore. I hurt my arm.

Angus, because he had a widdle sore. Well, we actually have a double, we actually have two double passes to give away to tomorrow night's match at Eden Park

if you can make it. 0800 dials at M. Right now, I'll give them to the first two callers to get through. And tickets are still available as well. Luke and Angus, thanks for popping in. Thanks for having us.

Thanks for having us.