ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 13th December 2021

Episode Date: December 12, 2021

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The ZM Podcast Network. Hey, this is Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to McCafe. Great barista made coffee on the go. I've just been looking at the weather today. So I wondered if I'd be able to do an outside cycle. No, no sir.

No, she's looking pretty wet today. And I tell you what else caught my attention. 80, no, 91% humidity in Auckland what else caught my attention. 91% humidity in Auckland today. Oh my gosh. She's a sticky disgusting. Apparently it's going to be a sticky disgusting summer.

Yeah. Good not to have hair in these humid times. I mean the sweat just runs straight down your face but the hair doesn't stick to your face. It doesn't go frizzy. But it's kind of that kind of summer where you're going to need quite a few showers. Oh, yeah. Or swims.

I love a swimmy summer, though. Oh, absolutely, yeah. I love a summer where you really feel like you need to swim. A windy summer doesn't always lend itself to being a swimmy summer, but a sticky summer is very much a swimmy summer sticky summer yeah summer yeah you always just feel a little bit sticky little gooch little gooch

heavy little yeah a little bit yeah the gooch is the worst part yeah it's a stinky little gooch at the end of the day isn't it smelly little can't wear your undies in two days in a row now can you fella and

then you go swimming and you're like that'll take care of the undies but it doesn't there's some sort of weird reaction this is not boding well for our uh canoe river trope oh we'll be bathing in the river are you packing multiple pairs of underwear of course it's like any holiday when you go you pack 18 pairs of underpants more than you need in case you shoot yourself 12 times a day yeah and one pair of shorts and one singlet. You bet. Yeah.

Thanks, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. 13 past, I don't know, the 13th of December. What are you looking weird about? I just got a whiff of Tux dog biscuits. You know those triangle ones that you feed farm dogs?

Yeah, right. Where's that coming from? Is that in your... It's coming from a headphone bag. Tux keeps him full of love. Give me a whiff. Why does your headphone bag smell like... I do not know. Do you have manky eardrums or earwax or something?

Oh, yeah, it does. It smells pretty musky. It does smell like tux. Yeah, it smells like a tux dog. Musky tux biscuits. Yeah, it was always like you'd go to feed the farm dogs and you're granted to be like, they get four tux. Yeah, it's like musky tux biscuits. Yeah, it was always like you'd go to feed the farm dogs and you'd be like they get four tux each

and you'd give them four of those triangle biscuits and they'd struggle with them, those things. I don't know where we're at, like the modern vet or animal professional's thoughts on big triangle dry biscuits for your dogs to live on?

I don't know. But yeah, you'd open the bag and that was the smell. Well, it was always a bag of tux inside a drum because the rats would get them if it was just in a bag. Yeah, bloody rural life, eh? Well, you've got the last week of the show this week and you've got a few weeks off over summer, so maybe put that through the wash and hang it up to dry.

No, it takes me back to my childhood. I like the smell of it. I like things that smell like my childhood. Manky. Manky and musky. I caught a big rat at the weekend. Right. Actually, I sent that to the group, hey?

Oh, yeah, you did. That big rat? Yeah. The trap hit it so hard it shit itself. You know that I'm the only one in the group chat that appreciates your animal... Murdering? Yeah.

It's a pest. It was a big fluffy pest. Well, I know, yeah, they're pests, yeah. Yeah. But everybody else... Shard A said, that's a girthy one. I said, no, that's the power of the Dock 200. That's my trap.

That's the trap. Okay. That's what they use. That's what they use on the Dock traps. Well, you've been killing animals and you smell musty. Another great start to the week. Another great start to the week. Another great start to the week. Musty or rat killer?

The top six on the way. Yeah, the top six ways to spot the guy that got 10 vaccines in one day. That's outrageous. So I want to know how much money he was getting paid. That's the thought, right? He was believed to have been paid by people who wanted a vaccine next to their NHI number and name. Yeah. But now he's got some kind of superhuman powers.

That or he's dead. Yes. Has anyone checked in after the weekend? I don't know, but the top six ways to spot him. All right. It's coming up on the show. Now, there's an investment that is better, giving you better returns than gold. And the good news is...

Oh, okay. You've probably already devalued it by taking it out of the box. ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan. If you know anything about me, you know I'm a big dog when it comes to investing. You're a Shazzy's day trader. I've got a Shazzy's account. Yeah, with your $50 a month you put in.

Yeah, you bet, big fella. What are you up to? What are you... Let me log in. I think I've got... I don't think I invest in. I've actually got a 13.85% return. Oh, okay. Yeah, you're the bloody wolf of QMU.

Yeah. I'm the cub. The cub of QMU. The cub of QMU, yeah. I'm only a little dog, but I'm learning how. The tabby of Wall Street. The manky tabby of Wall Street. The tabby of Wall Street. The manky tabby of Wall Street. The tabby of Wall Street alley.

Well, there's a better investment than, well, I mean, to be honest, my 13.85% return is pretty good. It's pretty good. Pretty good. Pretty good. Well, apparently, according to the Higher School of Economics in Russia, Lego sets have a better return on investment than gold, jewelry, art, wine, and antiques. But not your Shazzy's portfolio.

Not my Shazzy's portfolio. That's interesting, isn't it? Yeah, the secondary market on Lego sets that have been retired, which means they were made but are no longer made, showed an 11% annual return. This is from 2,322 unopened Lego sets that were produced between 1987 and 2015, and they were doing them year on year, how much they increased. And 11% was the growth annually.

I just Googled how much gold costs the New Zealand prices. One kilogram of gold, $84,000. Yeah. I would like to buy an ingot. Do you know what an ingot is? No. It's like a bar. They come in different weights and stuff.

Well, they'd be at least a kg, right? No, you can get little ingots. Well, one ounce, which is 30 grams, which is... A shot. Yeah, that's just over $2,500 New Zealand dollars. Maybe I won't buy it. So I don't think you will be.

Pretty better to invest in Lego sets. I'm going to buy an ingot, yeah. But then I can't open the Lego sets and that would drive me... Like, you could invest in that gold and, like, play with it. Yeah. And probably forget where you put it. But the Legogo sets it would drive me nuts having a lego set yeah you're always by two because they've got to be in person

yeah they've got to be boxed they're gonna be yeah pristine lego also named uh new zealand's most searched for toy uh with what how many days till christmas 13 12 12. Yeah, it's been named one of the most wished for gifts. Website The Toy Zone named its top toy searches in New Zealand and around the world. Wow. Other searches, Xbox Series S beat the PlayStation 5. Is that because people know there are no PlayStation 5s? Yeah, there might not be PlayStation 5s. And also Nintendo Switch is the most searched console.

The most popular TV toy, Pokemon, and even Rubik's Cube. People still... Really? Is that because they want their kid to be some kind of genius? Yeah. Like, here, Timmy, have this. And Timmy's like, this is stupid. And it just peels off the stickers.

And then they just Google how to do it. Yeah. Yeah, it's not that much. Also, Tamagotchi's making a comeback. Do you all have your girls ask for those? No, no, sir. Bloody stupid things. I you all have your girls ask for those? No, no sir. Bloody stupid things. I hope they don't.

Because it'll be like, Dad, can you look after this? We're not allowed to take them to school. And also, do you know the most popular board game search in New Zealand? Yahtzee. Yahtzee? I know, it's like this list is from the 90s or something.

Yahtzee? No. I don't think I've ever played. I know of Yahtzee, but I don't think I've ever played, I know of Yahtzee, but I don't think I've even ever played it. Dice in a cup, right? Roll it, Yahtzee. Yeah.

Yeah. Apparently producer Gerard's telling me in my ear that Rubik's Cubes have a cult underground following. Is this some kind of nerd thing? Yeah. Have they turned it into a sex thing? I really doubt it, but back when I was at school,

like all the dudes would be, they used to tweak with their Rubik's Cube so they could spin it faster. I've always wondered, the speed solvers and the guys, have you seen the guy that juggles and solves them as he's juggling it? Well, that's a showing off. He's solving like three.

But these never seem to catch. Whenever I've done a Rubik's Cube, it kind of gets a bit gritty and you're like, yeah. And you have to push it. Are you buying the rip-off? The cheap. The Rubik. The Rubik's.

The Rubik. The Rubik's Cube. Yeah, they're a bit more rubbish. Yeah. Well, there you go. Maybe some Christmas ideas. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan, and Megan. Well, Wednesday is the day that the Auckland border opens.

And that means that Aucklanders will be able to leave and go anywhere in the country. We're coming. And I don't know if you guys are flying this summer. Who, me? Yeah, you're driving, aren't you, to see the family? Driving, yeah, no flights booked. Well, I know we talked a week or so ago about how busy it's going to be these weekends,

leading up to Christmas and these days. So from Wednesday, Air New Zealand have made it possible, and this came out on Friday, the ability to link your MyVaccinePass to your Air New Zealand app, your bookings. Ah, yes. So all you need to do is make sure your app's up to date. The Air New Zealand app. The Air New Zealand app. You screenshot your vaccine pass and then you upload it. There's a little thing in the settings, in the three dots.

Okay. You click that, you go upload, and then it's done. So you screen cap it beforehand, do you? Yeah. So it's just the QR code that it needs. Yeah, or you could, I guess, have the PDF on your phone. Right. Or in your email.

I still don't know how to use the files part of the phone. No, I don't use that. Or it's like save to files. How do you just find them ordinarily? No, I don't know. I don't use that. I just added it to my wallet. Just screenshot.

Yeah. And then when you do that, it'll be associated to your bookings. So when you check in, you're not going to have to be faffing about at the airport. And you're not going to be one of those people on a line having to show your passport or scan it into the kiosk. I just did it.

That's how long it took. Now, Executive Intern Anya, what is Club Jetstar doing? Do you know what Club Jet Now, Executive Intern Anya, what is Club Jetstar doing? Do you know what Club Jetstar, what do you have to do at Club Jetstar? I think you just, you wave it around. Cool. I'm guessing that you put it into the, when you do the kiosk. I mean, it's probably like the baggage weight.

There's probably just a mad dash as everyone's just about to get on the plane where they're like, how big's that little purse? Let me weigh it. Right, okay. And they'll be checking passports as well. And they'll be checking the passports. I reckon, yeah. And you'd be a fool to book a flight without one.

Surely. Because people know the rules. Well, yeah, exactly. By the way, I've just had it popped up, the only flight I've got on my app, Auckland to New Plymouth on Friday the 4th of March. That was for Lorde. Oh, that's been cancelled. How do I change this?

You're not getting your money back. Can I go somewhere else? No, you've got to go to New Plymouth. Oh. Want to stay at your mum's house? Would Bev have me? Oh, Bev will have you. Yeah, absolutely.

Because I got Sade as well. We were both going. Yeah, no, she'd love to have you. Yeah. I changed mine. I just used mine to go down at Christmas. Oh, that's a good idea. So, but yeah, go and stay at mum and dad's.

What's your mum's thoughts on the guests fooling around in the spare bed? Is she pro or anti-fornication between guests? You don't go to someone's parents' house and fool around. What about at your own parents' house? No, you don't do that. Yeah, that's because why not? Sade's so into it. Like if we're at my parents' place and I'm like, whoa, let's get freaky.

She's like, absolutely not. No, because they could hear you. Yeah. Why are they not going to hear we're in the outside room? Oh, the outside room. See, that's fine because that's a different area. Yeah. But then you're in the middle of nowhere on a farm, very quiet at night.

No, I'm as quiet as a dormouse when I make love. Right. My breathing is probably the most audible part of the entire thing. It's a bit of this. I get a little asthmatic. Okay, but that would be hard to pick up from the outside room. I mean, there's cows down the farm going... Which nicely covers the sound I make.

The sound of your lovemaking. My lovemaking sounds a little bit like a roaring cow too sometimes. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. Well, this study comes to us out of the UK. You're mispronouncing that? The Uck. Do you think their chocolate eating would be on par with ours? We do like chocolate.

They like chocolate. But we are a fatter nation. I assume it would be on par. A survey of Brits has found that over their lifetime, the average British person will eat 126 Easter eggs, 2,898 miniature chocolates, miniature like roses or favourites, in the course of their lifetime. So if you took the middle ground of 80 years,

that equates to eating 36 miniature chocolates a year. Right. Does that seem surprising? I don't know. That's a lot. Or do you think it's not much? I don't know. Sometimes you eat chocolate and you forget you ate chocolate.

Like I was going to say, I don't remember the last chocolate I ate. I do yesterday. I had a chocolate chip biscuit yesterday. Well, that's chocolate. Does that count? Yeah, maybe. And I had a white chocolate carpenter ice cream the night before. Which I think, by the way,

have you tried the white chocolate and raspberry? I have. It's delicious. I thought that would be right up your alley. Yeah, that is a good one. You know me. You know what I like.

And white chocolate. Yeah. So if you were eating 200 like miniature chocolates a year, that would equate to what? 16 a month. 16 a month. Miniature chocolates.

Can you hit me with the definition of miniature chocolates? Well, they're just saying they're using their version of favourites or roses. Ah. No, weirdly, that's one of those things you either eat a box of in two days or you don't see them for

half the year. Yeah, exactly. They also revealed in this study that the average Brit enjoy in their lifetime 2,200 slices of chocolate cake, 3,000 mugs of hot chocolate and 7,500 chocolate bars, 8,300 chocolate biscuits in their lifetime. 8,300 chocolate biscuits. That I can get on board with. Yeah, totally. You always have a choccy bicker.

So if you add all of those together, that would be 300 chocolate treats per year. That's one form of chocolate every day for 10 months. Yeah, I would... That'd be easy to do, wouldn't it? That's one of those things you eat and you probably don't think about how often you do eat it.

I was just trying to think if I had chocolate today, but I haven't, but I probably have. Today, Vaughan, it's 6.28am. Yeah, I know. What about yesterday? Can you remember any yesterday? I definitely had a chocolate biscuit yesterday. I had two. Yeah, right.

What kind? Is it a minty biscuit? It wasn't a minty biscuit. It's a chocolate chip biscuit, not a minty biscuit. I do love a minty biscuit, but it was a chocolate chip biscuit. Shade bought them. This is an unpaid endorsement. Okay.

She bought them once because to put in the kids' lunchbox, they seemed like a cheaper option, a Pam's decadent chocolate chip. Oh, okay. Now, she was unaware that she had perhaps stumbled on one of the most delicious chocolate chip biscuits. Decadent chocolate. Well, who's making those for Pam? I don't know.

Does it look like another Flash brand of biscuit that they're putting in a cheap packet? They taste Flash. These are them. This is them. Pam's Finest Decadent Dark Chocolate Chunk Cookies. Oh, they look pretty posh, don't they? Yeah, they are.

And they're only $4. Yeah. For massive. And they're big, aren't they? And it's a big bag. Yeah, right. But, man, we hoon these. The Smiths are hooning these at the moment.

We've got a real problem with the Chucky Biscuit. Because you have one, it's never enough. No. And I'm like, oh, having my afternoon a real problem with the chocolate biscuit. Because if you have one, it's never enough. No. And I'm like, oh, having my afternoon coffee, I better grab a biscuit and then I eat two before and then I've got to have

another two with. So there's four chocolate biscuits. Is that half a packet? No, no, no, no. No. Four? Yeah. No.

Okay. There's lots more than four. They're small. They're not massive biscuits. Oh, right. Okay. They're small, like standard cookie size.

Yeah, right. Okay. But they're yum. Yeah. Very yum. Okay. They're small, like standard cookie size. Yeah, right. Okay. But they're yum. Yeah. Very yum. Okay. All right. I've got one on the mind.

So it'd be easy to blow these stats out of the water. Absolutely. You put your mind to it, you can beat any record. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. A study has found that the average dog knows 89 words and phrases. 89. 89. Dalhousie University in Canada did this study.

They studied a range of dogs and said that if you want a dog that can understand lots of words, Australian Shepherds, which are like... What do they look like? Kelpies, right? Oh, okay. Is it? Yeah. Right.

Red Dog. Red Dog. You ever seen that movie? Yep. Well, I've seen the poster and trailer. That's not seeing the movie. No, it's not. You can't get your full emotional blackmail of a movie by... I saw the poster. Yeah, I fully understand that.

There's a dog in the outback, probably gets lost for a bit and then finds a home. Did I just nail the movie? It finds its original owner. Yeah, there you go. And then it dies. No, it doesn't. I don't need to see the movie. It does die.

No, it doesn't. That's the saddest part. It does die. How does it die? Protecting its owner. Oh, right. I'm a little fuzzy. It was a lot of crying.

Yeah, right. I think I watched it on a plane too. You know, that was a terrible time to watch it. Plane movies make you cry. Yeah. Border Collie on a plane, too. You know, that was a terrible time to watch it. Plane movies make you cry. Yeah. Border Collie, German Shepherd, Bichon Frise, King Charles Cavalier Spaniel. I've got a half of one of those. It's particularly stupid.

And Chihuahua. A Chihuahua. Are you kidding me? Yeah, they were the most responsive dogs. Oh, they're the stupidest dogs. Beagles and Boxers. Are they the smallest vocabulary? Oh, they're the stupidest dogs. Beagles and boxers. Are they the smallest vocabulary? Oh, really?

Yeah. So while some so the average sits at 89, the least responsive dogs reacted to 15 words, the most responsive 215 words. But as long as, even if you've got one of these dogs at the lower end, as long as they know your basics, like you sit,

roll over. Out. Come. Stop. Shut up. Get away from there. Stop eating that. What's in your mouth? Don't roll in that. Stop. For the dumb dogs, I think you're done. Yeah. I think that's all there. Unless they choose

15 words that have nothing to do with any of those commands. Do they choose or learn them? Well, no, I guess they just associate it with experience like walkies. Right. Vet. This is the best. On this story that I was reading, somebody commented

we had a dog that recognised many words. We started spelling them if we didn't want him to recognise, but he figured out the spelling of them rather quickly. We had to pass a note if we didn't want him to know what was up. I really wanted the next sentence on that until he started to learn to read. Oh my gosh, that dog outsmarted us at every turn.

From the Panoramic ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hey, somebody got 10 vaccines the other day. I said Christchurch before. Fletch said, I don't know if that's public knowledge. Well, this article says the ministry would not confirm to Radio New Zealand where the incident took place. Right.

I'm just checking a couple of other publications, and they also do not say what city. But thank you to our listeners who have texted, and it is Christchurch. Yeah. Hey, is that us? Was that just the sound of us breaking news? You're welcome, New Zealand. Someone said, yeah, definitely Christchurch.

I'm a medical worker in Christchurch. You'll want to watch for them. So I'm sure I heard Christchurch somewhere. And I haven't been, I've just been thinking about it. I check my DMs and stuff with my usual contacts the minute there's name suppression I'm like

who is it? also probably on Reddit as well yeah so I believe things are pretty loose it's out there that it's Christchurch so they haven't caught this guy then? nah

his number's up though they've got to find him surely mmm because what's can he go can he be charged for this? Yes. Are you getting in trouble

if... And would have been doing it fraudulently under different names. Oh, I can't wait till that. A, I want to find out how much he was getting paid for this from the anti-vaxxers. And then B,

I want to find out who these anti-vaxxers are because they're going down too. They're in big trouble. Everybody's in trouble. But I've got the top six ways to spot the guy that got 10 vaccines in one day. Okay.

In Christchurch. So look out for this. And number six, he's broadcasting in 6G. He's broadcasting it too. Yeah. He's not a relay unit. He's his own cellular data source. Is he glowing?

Not glowing. Not glowing? Not glowing. Number five on the list are the top six ways to spot the guy that got 10 vaccines. He can't sit right because he got 10 vaccines. A couple of them had to be in the ass. You just can't rock five in each arm. Was he just taking the plaster off each time and then getting a different arm?

So he'd have at least, what, five in each arm if he was... I was thinking two in each arm, two in each arse, and a couple between the toes like a junkie that's trying to hide their... Needle marks. And maybe one they just took the needle off and squirted it up the bum. Yeah. Wouldn't that be nice? I don't even know if that's possible.

It's such a tiny amount. Yeah, that's true. You barely even feel it. Yeah. Number four on the list. Don't you hate it when you don't feel it? Is that what you're going to say? I'm kidding.

Carry on. Number four on the list of the top six ways to spot the guy that got 10 vaccines in one day. He's slowly morphing into Bill Gates. Oh, yeah. That's the plan, isn't it? Yeah, someone that looks half Bill Gates, half not Bill Gates. Yeah, that'll be him. And he's slowly like...

Yeah. Changing, that not Bill Gates. Yeah, that'll be him. And he's slowly like... Yeah. Changing, that's the guy. Number four, number three on the list of the top six ways to spot the guy that got 10 vaccines in one day. He's humming. He's vibrating. You're like, what's that? He doesn't look quite like... He's ready to go into a multiverse.

Man, I had huge headaches after my first one. My second one, nothing. But like 10 in one day, I'd imagine the headaches were just even a... Well, that's what the medical workers have been told to look out for him. They don't know if he's even alive. Something that your body can process

perfectly well in a small dose. Man, I hope he was getting paid well. Number two on the list of the top six ways to spot the guy that got 10 vaccines in one day. He's running exorcisms for people with COVID. He literally holds them down and sucks the COVID out of them. Like that guy on the Green Mile. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. The COVID's like, ah! And to him, he just dissolves it. Yeah. And number one on the list of the top six ways to spot the guy that got 10 vaccines in one day, raging stiffy. Because of Pfizer.

I don't know if that's a thing. Huge boner. You're saying once you get 10, once we get our 10 boosters. Right, okay. It's just they put a little bit of Viagra in everything. Do they? Pfizer. To get you hooked.

Just a little bit. Just a tiny bit. Little bit of Viagra. Get 10 of them. Up all weekend. That is today's top six. We want to know what you're going to have to fix or get working again or probably just turn off and turn on again.

Or know the password for it. When you go and see family this Christmas. What's on the list? What's on your IT list? What jobs have you had logged? You said your parents have already logged a couple of jobs. Well, I was talking to mum the other day on the phone and then in the background, dad starts yelling about something and mum says, oh, your dad wants to speak to you.

And apparently there's a couple of issues. But also, how great is it?, your dad wants to speak to you. And apparently there's a couple of issues. But also, how great is it? Dads never want to speak to you. They just want your mum to pass on the message. No, I don't need to talk to him. Just you tell him what I'm yelling at you. So I've got a couple of IT jobs to fix. Something about maybe his laptop and his phone.

I don't know. It's pretty good that he's got a laptop. But is it just for his music? Just for his music. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I've got to sort that out. I don't know. It'll pretty good that he's got a laptop. But is it just for his music, right? Just for his music. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I've got to sort that out when I get, I don't know. It'll be the same problem each time, I don't know. Yeah, yeah.

And then he forgets the passwords and then mum writes them down for him, but then she can't be bothered helping him because he forgets them all the time. So he just has to wait until. What does it say? You know where the password book is. It's an ongoing problem. So I've got that to look forward to for my few days back home. Yeah.

Sorting that out. My parents did have confusion on what notebook was the password notebook, so they made sure they wrote largely on the front, passwords. Right. And probably left it right next to the computer. You bet. Well, where else would you leave it? Because that's where you put all the passwords

and it would make sense to have it right there. Yeah. Okay. I know I've got a weather station job that hasn't even been logged. Okay. But I bought my dad a nice weather station so that he could see how much rain it had and stuff. He loved that too, didn't he?

It was a Christmas present, wasn't it? Yeah, because it had a wind thing on it as well. Oh, yeah. He loved to ring you up and tell you how windy it was. And it blew his mind when I said I could check it from my phone, but I went to check it over the weekend to see how much rain that had, and it said it wasn't connected to the internet. They unplugged it.

Yeah, someone's unplugged something. So I need to get in there and give that a little bit of a run. Get that sorted again. What else was there? There was a Wi-Fi issue. Is there a printer issue? There's always a printer issue. Yeah, right.

Every single time, every person I know over 60 has constantly got a printer issue. Were they able to print out their vaccine passes? Or would they put them on their phone? They've got them on their phones. Oh, that's good. They've got them on their phones, they've got digitals. But they've probably got them in their email. So when the printer issue's solved, they'll be able to print them out as well to have a hard copy.

Probably put it in the password notebook, to be totally honest. Yeah. Cut it out and put it in, staple it in the back of the password notebook. Yeah, so everybody's got a few. Any IT issues? Because you haven't been out to see your parents for ages, Jared. So I'm imagining they don't have a list of mile long. No, the pick stocks are pretty tech savvy.

Are they? Oh, are they? Okay. Yeah, they've got it covered. That must be nice. But also it's nice to feel wanted. It's nice to feel needed. Yeah.

And I love making this noise at my parents. Because also it's nice to feel wanted. It's nice to feel needed. Yeah. And I love making this noise at my parents. Because they've made that noise at me thousands and thousands of times. You owe them a lot of those noises. Just a slightly exasperated exhale. Yeah. Don't make it too long because you don't want to come

across too condescending. You just want them to be aware there's a perfect length. Like that. That actually sounded a bit aggressive because I had a bit too much husk at the end. That's it.

So we want to know from you this morning. 0800 DARS at M. You can text as well. 9696. What needs fixing when you get to mum and dad's over the holidays?

Maybe every time you go. Or anybody. Your grandparents, aunties, uncles. And it's every time you go home. There's always something. There's always something that needs doing. There's always something.

We're talking about what you've got lined up where you're probably going to have to do a little bit of tech, tech work when you get to your parents' place. Every time you go home, it's always something with dad's phone or the laptop. You're by no means a tech expert. I mean, if you work in IT, I'd imagine this is forever. If people are like, oh, Steve

works in computers, people would have every question about anything that plugs in. It'd be horrible. Steve, your mum tells me you work in computers. Can you tell me why my saw's not working? What's that? My power saw. What? I work in IT. Well, it plugs

into the wall. It's all bloody computers to me, mate. Why is the blade not going around? Close enough. So, yeah, we want to know what you've got on the list to fix when you get home. With my dad's laptop and phone, because it's an Android phone and a Windows laptop, I actually, because I've used Macs for so long and iPhones, I've actually, like, got no idea what I'm doing. I just have to fumble around some settings.

Me too, but that's kind of like... But you figure it out. Yeah, you look for a cog. That generally means settings. A cog, yes. You always look for a cog. Yeah. Click on that.

I'm just like, I don't know. And then just look for some words that kind of make sense. I think this. Yeah. And then if you get really stuck and you can't be bothered to say, I just think it's broken. Do they have a pair over your shoulder with their glasses on? They're like, well, now, why don't you tell your

father what you're doing here so he can remember for next time? So we want to take your calls 0800 DALS at M9696. Sheila, good morning. Good morning. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Now, what do you always have to fix

when you go home to the parents? Well, luckily, it's not me. I'm here. My parents are in the UK. But my eldest son is over there as well, and he lives about a 10-minute walk from them. He's spending Christmas with them. But my mother has already phoned me to ask if he can help my dad find his mobile phone

and, more importantly, the charger. Also, it's not so much an issue with the phone. It's just that they've actually lost it. Yeah, and he has no idea what he's done with the charger. He's had to carry it. He had a heart attack last year. Right. And he's been told, for his own safety, he needs to have a mobile phone on him.

Absolutely. But he doesn't know what he's done with it. And nobody, he needs to have a mobile phone on him. Absolutely. But he doesn't know what he's done with it and nobody's allowed to phone him on it anyway. Right, sounds like he needs a smartwatch that can let you know that he's still around. He can't even find the charger for his phone. I think a smartwatch is going to be slightly above him. No, he can't have a smartwatch because he can't wind it up.

It's got to be wound up. He's got to shake it. He has about 8,000 clocks in his house that need winding every day, so you know, he doesn't want a smartwatch, can't wind that up. Sheila, thanks for your call. Kirsten,

what do you always have to fix when you go home? Without a doubt, it's the clock on the TV. It's an annual thing, so whenever I get to my mum's, I have to change the clock because of daylight savings, and it's an Easter thing whenever I get there

again, and I have to change it back, or vice versa. Whereabouts on the TV is the clock? Well, this is a strange thing, because I don't know anybody else who actually has the clock present and on the screen of the television all the time other than my mother. But it's on the bottom right-hand side.

Oh, wait, so when she's watching TV in the bottom right-hand corner, there's a digital clock? She'll be quite snotty if the television news doesn't start at the right time. I didn't even know that. This is yuck. I don't even know this is yuck. I don't like the put of that impeding on my viewing. Also,

isn't that where everybody puts their logos for their channel? Oh, likely, likely. Mum just loves it. So I think I've been

doing it now for about 10 years. She bloody loves it. I need to get her a new TV without the feature. that's what I was going to say.

Throw a real spanner in the works and get her a new TV. I will do. She'll leave it in the box and get her a new TV. I will do. She'll leave it in the box. Merry Christmas, you guys. Thank you. Merry Christmas to you too.

She'll probably sell a tape, like a digital clock underneath. Like a kitchen timer. Kirsten, thanks. You call Hope. What do you always have to fix when you go home to the parents? It's not me. My husband works in television. He's a broadcast engineer.

Okay. And I have lost count of the amount of time halfway through a dinner party he ends up on a roof. Oh, what, like realigning a satellite or a UHF or something? Yeah, and the thing is, I don't know, I'm not very techie, but I think the UHF, it doesn't even work anymore. Yeah, yeah. So he's, oh, honestly, almost every house he climbs up to

to detach UHF or something. It's honestly... Oh, so can you get it down? Like, we don't use that anymore. Can you take it off? Yeah, anything. Anything. Or, yeah, it's constant.

My grandparents, his family, just random dinner parties when we were buying a house, open home. He went up on a roof He was up on a roof in an open home. It's okay. You don't get up on a roof enough in an open home.

If you're going to buy a house you want to know what the roof's like. Yeah, exactly. Good opportunity. Yeah. No, that's constant. Wow. Thanks for sharing.

Thanks for your call. Some texts in. Somebody said, I know when I get home this Christmas, I'm going to have to update everybody's devices. Mum's far too scared to update anything. That's a classic. And she needs me to check that it's all right to update before. It's always all right.

It's fine, just update. My nana plays online pokies and free pokies apps. She always asks me to download new ones because she runs out of the free spins and fake money. She also gets me to clear her tabs on the internet on her phone because she doesn't know how. And it makes her phone run so slow because she has literally hundreds and hundreds of tabs open.

Imagine all the spyware and all the pop-up ads from all those sites. Oh, God. Someone said, I know a trip to mum and dad's means I need to sharpen Mum's knives. You can't even cut yourself. They are so blunt. Need to get them that thing from the infomercials

that you just run up through. That suction's on you. Yeah. Put it back through. Yeah, unless this person is a knife sharpener, then that's probably an absolute abhorrent thought.

Yeah, it must be. My Mum's kitchen. I'm a kitchen joiner. And so every time I go there, something needs fixing, some drawers need doing, or a hinge needs rehanging. I could a kitchen joiner. And so every time I go there, something needs fixing, some drawers need doing or a hinge needs rehanging. I'm thinking about, you know, you know what I hate about kitchens? Those cupboards, the corner cupboards, the doors on hinges.

Because one's hinged and the other's carrying all the weight. And then it's always floppy. Those are horrible. God, I hate those corner doors. Those are horrible corners situations. I would rather not have a whole corner of cupboard space blocked off. I'd rather have it blocked off and have one door. Yeah, we've got one door and you have to reach around the corner.

I'd rather do that. It's fantastic. I'd rather do that. It's fantastic. I've got two of those floppy doors. Way better than those floppy doors. Always flopping. Always flopping.

Too much pressure on that bottom hinge. Yeah. It's carrying too much weight. Yeah, it's going to come off one day. You've got to have a real grunty couple of real grunty hinges there. Yeah, well, I can imagine why they're always fixing people's cupboards. Yeah, exactly. There you go.

Somebody said, I know when I get home for Christmas, I'm going to have to sort out mum's Instagram. She's been trying to say that Ray-Bans are 95% off. Yeah, she needs a clear out and a password change. She needs to put on a two-factor authentication as well. Yes. For mum so she doesn't get Ray-Banned again. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan.

If you feel more tired than you've ever been in your entire life, right now you're not alone. Okay. 60% of people who partook in a big study agreed They said that they've never felt this tired Well there's five of us currently right here You and I, Morn and our

three producers next door, that's five of us Who's feeling more tired than they've ever felt before yeah yeah i don't tend to remember like times in my life when i've been tired new when we had newborns that was pretty tiring yeah when we first started doing breakfast radio that was pretty tiring because it was a change of the thing but i do feel like 18 months of pandemic so that's what it is right the people that were asked said yeah yeah, it's kind of, they can relate it to different aspects of the pandemic.

Some people said working from home so much, it doesn't mean there's a separate work home life. Yeah. If you're working from home, you'll accidentally sneak in a couple of extra hours. It also, there's not that get home and shrug off work commitments. Yeah. Well, I was talking to our friend of ours,

Zach, the other day. He said it's horrible being at work in the office because he can't go have a nap for an hour or two. He's been napping at home. He'll just have a sneaky nap. While working. Sneaky nap, yeah. Right. Well, the Spanish do it, don't they?

Well, they do. A little siesta. But then a nap, an afternoon nap, it can either be the most amazing thing ever Or it can just ruin you And you're just like You can't leave it late No

You've got to have it early You've got to have an early nap Sometimes even if I put my head down And I have a 10 minute nap That's quite energising Yeah But sometimes you accidentally have a 2 and a half hour nap And you wake up

You don't know what year it is. You wonder if it's 9am. Yeah. Yeah. So people said staying inside too much. They didn't feel like they had much of an outdoor life. Okay. Too much screen time was another big reason people blamed it.

Lack of routine during the pandemic. Lack of, you know, what you usually do to keep yourself energised. And 69, Noose, you know, what you usually do to keep yourself energized. And 69, Nuis claimed that working from home had absolutely messed with their sleep schedule because they kept waking up thinking about work. Because you're waking up in the office.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And the average person experienced their worst energy dip at 1.04 p.m. That's what I'm saying. The Spanish there, the Spanish. That's when you have your nap.

Would say C to a C-S-R. Yeah. Have a little nap then. Yeah. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Megan. Well, a member of the show was pulled over on their way to work this morning

and for the first time it wasn't you, Vaughn. Ha ha! Well, Carween. Hello. Carween at the social media desk. This makes me feel so nervous, just as nervous when I saw those lights flashing behind me.

Oh, my gosh. Well, you're a bad egg. I saw, I think it was the Canterbury Police on social media put up the picture of the flashing lights, and they were like, the lights you don't want to see this Christmas. True. I was like, oh.

Because you do, you get a little bit of wheeze when you see the lights flash, eh? I didn't think it was for me. I thought they were just wanting me to pull over. They were going to an emergency. Right. Now, were you speeding? No. Okay.

Were you on your phone? No. I was driving along, blasting some Taylor Swift. But it turns out that he thought I was a thief. Right. Right. Now, what kind of car do you have? So I have a little Toyota Aqua.

It's a little hybrid. Okay. And you've been saving on the petrol, haven't you? I sure have. What year is your Toyota Aqua? 2013. Oh, okay. That's pretty posh.

Thank you so much. Yes. And so he came up to the car i didn't know what to do i was frantically like looking for a mask being like do i need to put a mask on he was like you're fine uh i just need to know if this is your car and i was like yeah well like of course it's my car what do you mean and he was like well we've had an influx of people stealing Toyota Acquas at the moment. Really? So he needed to run my license to make sure it was registered to me.

You don't look like a car robber. What does a car robber look like? I don't know. Not someone listening to Taylor Swift at like 5 a.m. True. Thieves love Taylor Swift. Okay. Well, no, because when my car was broken into,

they didn't steal my Taylor Swift CDs. Is it slapping the face? It really is. But yeah, he said that they're being stolen like one a night almost. They're getting reported, so he pulled me over. Whenever we read out the list of stolen cars, the Toyota Aquar, it's not normally on there, is it? The Mazda Demio is the top dog, or the Mazda 2,

and I'm looking at a 2013 Toyota Acquire, and it does have a Demio vibe. But is it because they're so cheap? Well, I'm not sure, because I was told that hybrids are quite hard to start without a key. Right. As a thief would. I don't know how they do it, but, you know,

because I'm not a thief. Is it that thing? Do they want that catalytic converter? I don't know what that is. I don't know how they do it, but, you know, because I'm not a thief. Is it that thing? Do they want that catalytic converter? I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. They always say how they got stolen. Because remember I saw that Prius that time when I was leaving work and I was like, man, it did not sound like a Prius because... Oh, they'd stolen the thing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, like a hybrid, they're usually like... And then the engine kicks in, it's like... But this is like... And somebody said, when I mentioned the Prius, it sounded like it had a Rotang. Yeah. Somebody said it's a catalytic converter. Converters get stolen and they're bigger in hybrids?

Oh, okay. So they make more money out of the stolen parts. Yeah, maybe. So what happened with the policeman? Did he... So he was like, so are you going to work what do you do and i was like oh i work in radio that's why i'm up at this hour right and then he was like oh where do you work and i always find this question very hard so i just go oh zed him yeah and then he was like oh what show and i was like and i was like you're a police officer i can can't say no comment. Plead the first one.

So I said, Pleasure with Megan, and he goes, ah, well, I'll probably be listening to the podcast on the way home. Oh, shut up. So, hi. Did you get a name? No, actually. Should I have? I always take a badge number.

Because old Karen here likes to make you complain, does she? Well, you know, if they don't follow the rules. Well, that's good to know if you've got a Toyota Accra. Yeah. Maybe... He said chuck one of those steering wheel locks. Piss off. He did not.

Chuck one of those on there. Did he? No, that's the worst. This wasn't a police officer. This was someone who wants to get your details to steal your Toyota Accra. He had a very good looking police car replica then. Or someone that works at Repco and they're on commish for those stupid steering wheel locks. I don't even know if you can buy the steering wheel locks.

No, I think you can. No one's used those seriously since the 90s. Well, this is not a good omen because my mum's been telling me to buy one. So super cheap autos have them for $28.89. The warehouse for $29. No one's buying a steering wheel lock anymore. No, apparently they are.

You could get like an immobiliser or something or like an alarm. Oh my God, you could buy a wheel. It's a 2013, it should have an alarm. You can buy a wheel clamp

at super cheap autos. How fun would that be just for shits and gigs? To clamp people? Yeah, like someone comes around to your house, you clamp them and then say $60. That's creepy. Someone's like, comes around to your house, you clamp them and then say 60 bucks.

That's creepy. Someone's like, all right, I'm ready to go home. And you're like, you can't, I've clamped your car. Well, yeah, you're parked in a private driveway. That's the creepy version of that Christmas song where she's like, baby, it's cold outside. Oh, I really must go, but I've clamped your car. Please unclamp my car.

I'm not unclamping your car until you pay me $60. This isn't a romantic song. Come back inside. No. I wasn't begging. I was just imagining you come around and I clamp your car. But I wouldn't even look to see if my car's clamped. I'd just start driving and I'd go.

Imagine the hilarity. Tear my car to pieces. ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. Play ZM. Hi, guys. Vaughan Smith here. First class citizen. So you like to think.

Yesterday, I was made to feel like a second class citizen. I don't know. Is that bad to say first? I'm just saying it now. There are no second class citizens? No. There are no second class citizens? No. There are no second class citizens? So if someone was like, I was made to feel like a second class citizen, that's... I've never even thought about that saying before.

Yeah. What is a second class citizen? I don't know. Is it like a rich person saying I was made to feel like a poor person? Someone that has a voucher. That too. That's what I was made to feel like. I rang. I thought Friday is our last day at too. That's what I was going to feel like. I rang. I thought Friday's our last day at work. After Friday, I would, I was going to say relieve myself.

That is not what I, I would relax. Yeah. Okay. With using a voucher for a massage. Okay. To be honest, I was just going to go. It's a spa voucher, isn't it? I had two. So I was just going to go. Two? It's a spa voucher, isn't it? I had two, so I was just going to go whole hog.

Have you been banking up? I've been banking. Although, to be fair, there's been a lot of lockdown. There has been a lot of lockdown. And spas haven't been a thing in lockdown. This is also correct. Okay. So I rang up.

What kind of spa are we talking? Like one at the mall or like an Ulala one? It's nice. It's nice. It's nice. Right. Was this a Father's Day voucher, was it? One was the Father's Day voucher and one was a birthday present.

Okay. So these have been banked and I thought, you know, Friday? Yeah. Get into the mood. What does each voucher give you? One was just a dollar amount, which would have been, I reckon, a 90-minute massage. Ooh, okay. And one was a package.

So I was going to say, look, what can we do? So I said, hi, I just wanted to book on Friday, if possible. Okay. Friday morning, because I don't want to have to come back. Yeah. It's in the sit-down. I don't want to have to come back. So I was told, yeah, okay, sure.

What was I after? I said, well, I've got two vouchers. I want to, like, smash them together. Yep. And it was at the two vouchers that I felt the air change over the phone. I said, I've got two vouchers, I want to smash them together and get one, you know, just absolutely luxurious experience. I want to leave exfoliated, I want to leave balmed,

I want to leave oiled, I want to leave slippery in my shoes. Yeah. It's the best part about a massage. You walk out and you're slippery in your shoes. Yes. Because the baby will sit You walk out and you're slippery in your shoes. Yes. Because the baby will still be chewing your toes. And for a while it feels nice and then it just feels like your feet have got really sweaty. Yeah.

So you go home and you wash a lot. It's quite disgusting. So the voucher was when it was like, oh. Actually, I'm just looking here. You may remember just moments ago, Vaughan, you did say they were wide open with bookings. There was certainly no, you know, there was no hesitation. No, there was certainly, yes, Friday morning, yes, of course. Yeah, right.

But then when I mentioned these vouchers that I wanted to. The V word. The hybrid of two vouchers to get one sort of huge vouchery experience. Yeah. The V word. The hybrid of two vouchers to get one sort of huge vouchery experience. Yeah. I felt that the plentiful well full of delicious hydration really dried right up. And there was no appointments. There was no length of appointment longer than 45 minutes. Oh, okay.

Never stipulated. Free the V word. Because they obviously want people coming in paying money, money, cash money, not this money that's already been spent years, a year ago. One of them at the start of this year, one of them a few months ago. But I mean, vouchers are cash. That's an IOU. Yeah, that's an IOU.

Money's exchanged hands. Because this wasn't one of those discount vouchers. You know when you get a grab one deal and you go to the restaurant and they put you by the toilets? Yeah. Yeah. Don't tell them you're paying by voucher until the end. I had a voucher run in and they, yeah, they changed their tune.

They really changed their tune. You feel like a second class citizen? Yeah, a second class voucher citizen. Because you got 30% off when they got talked into signing up for some sort of voucher situation. Entertainment book people? Yeah. Don't tell them you got the entertainment book voucher. This was even pre-lockdowns.

I know HOSPO's doing it tough. Yeah. But, I mean, you know, don't do vouchers if it's too hard at the moment. Yeah, totally. But I was wondering if anybody else had experienced this second-class voucher citizen. Right. Right. Yeah. It was all fun.

It was all fun and games until you mentioned the V word. And then they're like, ooh. Eee. Eugh. Eugh. Especially if it's like, if you've got it at a discount, a heavy discount, they're going to look to discount you too. Well, especially if you're taking up a prime spot

that could earn them a lot of money. You're not getting the window seat. Then why do they do the vouchers? Because they want to get people through the door so they can fill that table by the toilet. But then you're there. Oh, yeah, right. They've got the table by the toilet.

No one else is there. Prime seats. Yeah. Okay, well, I don't know. Have you ever been in this situation where once you've said the V word or you've used a gift voucher, things went downhill and changed?

The tone changed? Maybe you got the trainee. Oh, yeah, okay. Things went downhill. Yeah. And changed. The tone changed. Maybe you got the trainee. Oh, yeah, okay. Or like service. Yeah, right. You were going to get the... You were going to get the... What do they call the wine waiter?

There's a word for the person who specializes in wine at a restaurant. I don't know. What's that? Well, don't click. What do they got to Jared? Jared knows the word. Why would Jared know? Sommelier.

Yeah! Sommelier. Sommelier. Somm word. Why would Jared know? Sommelier. Yeah! Sommelier, sommelier, sommelier. All right, okay. Sommelier. They're a wine expert. And you're getting them, and then you're like, oh, when do I pay with the voucher? And that person evaporates.

And then you get an 18-year-old who's like, do you want the Pinot Gris? Yeah. All right, well, 0800-DARZENEM. Give us a call. You can text as well, 9696. When have you been made to feel like a second-class voucher citizen? Voucher citizen.

Yeah. We want to know from you this morning when you've been made to feel like a second-class voucher citizen. As soon as the V word comes out, oh, you know, there's no space for you. No. You don't get the top-tier stuff. No. Especially if you get the top tier stuff. No. Especially if you've got a discount. Your massage, when you rang the lady, she's like, oh, lots of bookings on Friday.

And then all of a sudden, oh, maybe not lots. She didn't say lots of bookings, but she said that won't be a problem. But then what did you end up doing? I said, oh, I guess I'll book another time. And that time, too, I wanted to really feel how undone by I was. Really sorry for you just then. But on Friday when I'm finishing work, to have a longer holiday than most people,

after a far less stressful year than most people, I wanted to know I was quite upset with you. I wanted her to really feel my... Your pain. Fine. Fine. Fine. Yeah. There's always other massage places.

Maybe you'll just have to. Yes. Have you ever been to Fans Massage? Is that in the mall? It can be in malls, sometimes in shops. Yeah, I just don't like the idea of being in a mall and somebody saying, you know, my back or something. No, they've got curtains and stuff. Oh, they've got curtains.

Okay, well, there you go. You can try that. There is one on the Fans price list as I walk past. It's called Magic Fingers. And I am dying to know for $35 what are these Magic Fingers? Treat yourself. Friday, you should find out what the Magic Fingers. Fans Magic Fingers.

You should try and find out what the Magic Fingers. A big mystery will be unveiled Friday when I find out what the magic fingers do. $35. I can't imagine much. Oh, you'd be surprised. Josh, good morning. How are you? Good.

Now, you experienced second-class voucher citizenship? I sure did. I had an early bird voucher where I got 50% off the meal. It didn't include the drink, but it still got full price on the drink. Okay. But we've been to this restaurant plenty of times before, but on this particular occasion, our meal came out, and it looked to be 50% of the size.

Whoa. See, I've used these vouchers before in the app. Yeah, they get you in there early, don't they? Because you get people going. Get the kitchen warmed up. Get it humming. Look how busy and popular. But they cheekily made the meal half the size.

Did you say anything? Well, no, because it comes with a full show as well. So the show was all the same when they cook your food in front of you. But then as we started going through it, we're sort of like, oh, hold on. There seems to be a lot of stuff missing here. The portion size were extremely small. Wow.

That is very cheeky. I mean, even after the 50% off, you know, limited to people, but we still spent a good $150 in there. But, yeah, it was definitely not worth the $150. They wouldn't have pulled this shit on Pippa Wetzel. Because she's from Fairgo. Yeah. It'd just be so good to just do six months on Fairgo

but make a couple of big cases, you know, so people will always remember you as the Fairgo person. Yeah. Josh, thanks for your call. Steph, when were you made to feel like a second-class voucher citizen? Hi, guys. So about six years ago, my partner at the time, or still my partner now, actually. No, you only say at the time, or still my partner now actually.

No, you only say at the time if you're not together anymore. No, no, we're still together. Just got married actually. Oh, wow. And yet now here we are, you're breaking up with him on the radio. That's a hell of a way for him to find out. I wouldn't have gone through with the wedding, but no, fair enough. Right.

So what happened? So he brought me a $200 tattoo voucher for six years ago. That was actually quite a good amount of money. Yeah. So I booked in to finish off one I already had. So I just wanted a small moon that was like five by five centimetres. Yeah. Shouldn't have cost $300.

Booked in with a guy and he was like, oh, no, we can't do that. You need to go bigger. And, you know, it's going to cost you more. And I'm like, no, no, it's really not. Like, it's small. So he was and I'm like no no it's really not like it's small and so he's like all right I'll book you in and you can have a consult with the artist and and see what they're doing this at the time was a really reputable tattoo place in Hamilton like it's probably the one of the most well-known places yeah as soon as you say I'm getting a

tattoo at this place everyone knows what you're talking about okay and so they booked me and I go in there and I'm just instantly with the apprentice. Like, no conversation about who I want because I'm just, this is the person you're having. And I was like, okay, sit down with her. She sketched it up. It was just a tiny five by five moon

and it only took her 45 minutes. So like the appointment was, at the time time cost $150 an hour with any artist. Yeah. So it took her 45 minutes. They offered no refund or no extra time to come back and do anything else or, like, extend the voucher. So 45 minutes with an apprentice, and the moon is honestly one of my worst tattoos.

But your husband didn't get it at a discount, did he? No, no discount. He paid the full price. It was $150 an hour, so he paid $200. So it should have been like an hour and a half, well, an hour and 15 minutes. Yeah, you've given them the money at some stage. That's what somebody said.

They're very naive because they thought when you gave someone a voucher, it was also a gift. So you think that anybody would be stoked to have you there and that you'd been thought of as a place that a person would like. Steph, thanks for your call. Catherine, when were you treated like a second class voucher citizen? Hey guys, so I was

out to dinner with one of my mates who were having burgers and beers. We had been at this place for like an hour and a half and the server came around and I was just like, oh hey, just double checking like do you guys take these vouchers here? And she was like, yep, and then just walked off and I was like, okay. And then I tried to order two more beers and she was like, oh no, you guys have been here for long enough, you can leave now. Wow. And so what was the voucher? Was it like half price of everything or something? No, it was just like one of those food vouchers

that you can use across a couple of different places. So like we're only going to put part of it on there. But I just wanted to make sure that, you know, they actually took them. And she was like, no, you can leave. Like we were the only other people in there. There was only one other table in there. She was like, no.

And you were still spending money. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Amazing. And table in there. She was like, no. And you were still spending money. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Amazing. Catherine, thanks. You called some messages in. We're all learning, aren't we? Somebody said, have you ever tried to cash in a homemade back rub voucher? I haven't had a decent experience with one yet. Yeah, that's the thing. I love

getting back rubs, but then when it's your time, you're just like, okay, done. I'm done. Well, the excuses that come out of the woodwork are unreal. I've had when it's your time you're just like okay done I'm done well the excuses that come out of the woodworker are unreal I've had it's no longer valid that's expired

if you check the date on it we can give you a refund and the famous oh babe I'm too tired this backrub business is going to go out of business I would take your partner to the Commerce Commission

I would yeah and you know when you're facing tens of thousands of dollars of fines, you'd buck your ideas up. Oh, certainly would. I mean, just being named and shamed in the paper.

Would be reason enough to just get that back rub done, like a real champ. Somebody said I went into a clothing store for larger ladies. I was going to buy my nana a voucher, but there was someone at the checkout, so I was like, I'll just walk around.

If I see something, that might be, you know, I'll ask them how much that costs. Okay. That would happen. And a lady came over to me and said, we don't have anything here suitable for you and your size. If you could just vacate the store. Ouch.

Yeah. So they didn't even get to buy their voucher to feel like a second class citizen. They were ushered out prior. Right, 826. But also if I was being ushered out of a store that, because the clothes were all too big for me there, I'd be like, oh my god, thank you so much. I'll see myself out. Oh my god, thank you. Play ZM's

Flesh, Vaughn and Megan. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Right. Last week we were eating dinner and we were just all talking, the family. We were all just sitting there talking. And then out of nowhere, Indy was like, so what's the deal with Christmas? It's Jesus' birthday.

Yeah. And I was like, oh, yeah, that's the kind of like the origins of the Christmas story. Yeah. And then she was like, what was Easter? Did he have a brother or a sister

that was born then? I was like, nah, he got strung up. She was like, oh, interesting.

And then we talked about all the different things and I was raised a Catholic. You might find that hard to believe. Given my lack of guilt. Absolutely. I became immune to it. Given my lack of guilt. Absolutely.

I became immune to it. I was indoctrinated with guilt and I am inoculated rather with guilt and I became immune to guilt. So I can do pretty much anything and get away with it. You may find this hard to believe, I'm not religious in the slightest. At all. No one ever raised it. And then we're talking about what it was like

and etc. Just having a big open chat about it. Or being nailed to the cross. No, no, no, no, no. Open dinner. Oh, right. What church is like. Right. And then I said, Indy's like, what's the thing where you eat the wafers?

Yeah, right. And I was like, that's communion. And then you do communion. And I talked about how we did the whole shebang with Catholicism. And we did this thing called, what's the one you do when you're, the older one? Confirmation.

And you have to pick a name and that was where they got really angry with me because you pick a name and it has to be like a saint's name and I said, I want Jesus and they said, you can't have Jesus and I said, but it's the best name and then they were like,

no Vaughan, no Jesus. I said, what about God? And they said, you're not taking this seriously. And that's where me and no Vaughn, no Jesus. I said, what about God? And they said, you're not taking this seriously. And that's where me and the Catholic church started to part ways. Right. Because you couldn't be Jesus. Okay, right. And you just wanted the main role.

You wanted the starring role. So they said, what name did you pick? My children said, what name did you pick? And I said, Joseph, because he was there. He did a lot of hard yards. He did the hard yards. Now, he had the coat, didn't he? A beautiful coat.

Technicolors. Technicolor dreamcoat. Okay, thatolors. A Technicolor dreamcoat. Okay, that Joseph, right. A Technicolor dreamcoat. And so then they were like, how did you pick this name? Oh, he had picked a name from the list of saints. And we looked it up and we found out August, there's a Saint August. Oh, okay, right.

And she's the patron saint of brewers. She's like, what's a brewer? I was like, they make alcohol. And she was just stoked. She's like, that's great. That's fantastic. Saint Augustine. And then they were like, what is a patron saint of?

And so for an example, I was like, as a joke, I said, well, like the patron saint of people who work in radio. And I Googled it and we've got one. Do we? Gabriel the Archangel is the patron saint of radio workers. But they didn't have radio. I know. They didn't have radio back then.

So I'm confused about how. Gabriel's just a huge fan of Talkback. Unless they did have radio back in the day and they're like, it's 10 past eight, that's a dial. By the way, Jesus is still on the cross. If you want to go down, we'll have a sausage sizzle. Catch up with the Thunder Drivers. Catch up with the Thunder Drivers now down live at the Crucifixion of Christ.

Giving out some Cornettos. One Cornetto each, please. Don't be greedy with the Cornettos. Cornettos of kick. Of course, a delicious, cool snack of summer. In fact, Steve's down there at the moment. Steve, how's the weather down there? Well, we're watching Jesus get nailed up. It's not very pleasant, I will say that. It's an unusual thing to bring your kids down to, but I tell you what, these Cornettos are going down a treat. Back to you in the studio. So basically, if you've got a job, if you've got a job, your job has a patron saint.

Really? A patron saint. Yeah. Mountaineers. Bernard of Methone. Oh, okay. Is the patron saint of Mountaineers. By the way, I watched 14 Peaks at the weekend.

Now, this is on Netflix. It's about the guy that climbs 14. This Nepalese climber who's been in the Gurkhas, which is like the Nepalese special forces. The Gurkhas. The Gurkhas. Yeah, that's what the Nepalese special... Like the Gurkhas.

The Gurkhas. I wouldn't mess with the Gurkhas. The Gurkhas will absolutely have you. They are one of the most feared forces. Oh, wow. Okay. It's not a very fearful name. The Gurkhas. Yeah. I'm not messing with the Gurkhas. Okay. They want you of the most feared forces. Oh, wow. Okay. It's not a very fearful name. The Gurkhas. I'm not messing with the Gurkhas.

They want you to make fun of them. The Gurkha chat's going to get you stabbed. Yeah, right. So then he joined the SAS and he's just like this absolute machine and he's like, I bet I can climb 14 mountains in seven months. I won't spoil it for you,

but there's a few ups and downs. Because of the mountain climbing! Okay. Yeah, great. Yeah. So today's fact of the day is if you've got a job, you've probably got a patron saint. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Just before we get to the issue you've taken offence with, Vaughan, quickly, a chance for you to win $1,000 cash. ZDM have teamed up with Toyota to answer some of your electrified vehicle questions, which will mean we get on a path to a carbon neutral future, no matter your lifestyle. It's super easy. Go to ZM online, answer a quiz, a quick question, and go in the draw to win $1,000 cash towards your electrified summer.

It's all cheers to Toyota. Electrify your summer with a Toyota hybrid vehicle. You could be like Carwen at the social media desk who has a Toyota hybrid vehicle, don't you? And you were just saying the other day, oh, I saved so much money on petrol. A Toyota Accra. Sorry, I can't hear you.

One second. The moment's gone, Carwen. Nah, I can't hear you. The moment's gone. Don't worry about it, Carwen. You still can't hear me? The moment's gone. Tell her the moment's gone. Tell her the moment's gone. Tell her the moment's gone. Hi, Carwen. Nah, I can't hear you. The moment's gone. Don't worry about it, Colin. You still can't hear me? The moment's gone. Tell her the moment's gone.

Tell her the moment's gone. Tell her the moment's gone. Hi, Colin. No, I still want my moment. The moment's gone. Aw. Pass your headphones back. Your headphones back.

Turn your microphone off. That's all. Turn her off. Turn her off. Go home. Out you go. Out you go. Don't come back tomorrow.

Oh, well, at least I get to sleep in. Damn it. Okay, I won't come back tomorrow. Your punishment is I'm not coming back tomorrow. That's actually not a punishment. Oh, no, actually it is, yeah. That I don't think I'm going to sleep in. Damn it. Okay, I won't come back tomorrow. Your punishment is I'm not coming back tomorrow. That's actually not a punishment. Oh no, actually it is, yeah. That I won't write in a day. There's a lot more work to do when you're away.

Oh my gosh, yeah, you're totally right. Now, this week sees the release of a very highly anticipated Vaughan movie, Spider-Man, No Way Home. I'm very, very excited about it. I love Spider-Man movies. I love them all. I love Andrew Garfield as Spider-Man. I love Tobey Maguire as Spider-Man. And I love Tom Holland as Spider-Man, No Way Home. I'm very, very excited about it. I love Spider-Man movies. I love them all. I love Andrew Garfield as Spider-Man. I love Tobey Maguire as Spider-Man.

And I love Tom Holland as Spider-Man. You were invited to the media release. You're one of the first people in the world to see it, but you had to go to a dinner. You've got to go to dinner. Got a dinner. With the mother-in-law. Got a dinner.

So I said to producer Jared, would you like to, because I was going to take him as my plus one to the premiere, I said, would you like to accompany moi to the movies Thursday morning, straight after the show? Okay. Because I don't want it to be spoiled. I want to see it.

I want to enjoy it. I want it to be in my eyeballs as soon as possible. Okay. Spider-Man and I can't risk it being ruined. So I said to Jared, would you like to come? And he said, sure. And so I went to book tickets and the only one, the only tickets available were on a daybed. Now, the daybed is right in the front of the cinema

and you and a loved one can, should you choose to, snuggle. Okay, right, okay. But snuggle not mandatory. Right. And I said, are you all right with this? And he was like, okay. But snuggle not mandatory. Right. And I said, are you all right with this? And he was like, yes. And I booked it and then you were all in. Well, it's just a bit weird because you're going to look like a couple.

They're for couples. They're not for friends. I'm a little sugar baby apparently. Because daddy's taking you. Daddy's taking you. Well, I preferred it when we called it a father-son outing. Now that you're calling it like daddy and that. And sugar baby.

It's getting a bit weird. But two men can platonically share a daybed in the movies. I don't think I've seen these daybeds. Has anybody else experienced a daybed? I haven't. No, I haven't been. I'm like, very dangerous because you know me when I lie down. Sleepy.

Big Daddy goes down. But you're excited for Spider-Man. So Big Daddy hopefully stays awake. Bigy. I'm out. Big Daddy goes down. But you're excited for Spider-Man, so Big Daddy hopefully stays awake. Big Daddy will be absolutely pumped. Big Daddy will be, what? No, jazz. Big Daddy will be excited. Big Daddy will be excited?

That doesn't sound any better. I think events are going to be calling up to cancel this day bed if you carry on this chat. They should have sold out all the seats. Now I'm going to be down there on a day bed staring up at Spider-Man. Right. I'm very excited. Take a buffer? There's a buffer.

There's a thing down the middle. That indicated to me that when I went to book, I could only get the whole day bed. Right. Two people, or I'm guessing if you went by yourself. You wouldn't be able to book a day bed next to it.

You couldn't share a day bed with a stranger. No. You've shared more than your fair share of day beds with strangers, haven't you? Well, you didn't. What I mean to say there is you didn't know them beforehand and you didn't really know their names afterwards. That's what I'm saying.

Well, let's just say Big Daddy was very excited. Why is this turning around to me? Why is this turning back to me? I didn't even get Maltesers either. Maddie, good morning. Good morning. All right, welcome to Met Cafe Christmas Balls. We've got our Christmas tree in studio. Now, Vaughan, would you like to go pick a Christmas ball?

Maddie, we've got red, green, silver. And gold. And gold. There's glittery or smooth. What colour and finish do you want there? Could I please get a silver glitter one? Oh, yeah. Yeah, there is.

There is, isn't there? You grab one of those, Vaughan. Your headphone cord reaches. That's amazing. Just reached. Reached? Reached. Reached.

I was able to reach. I don't know. Just reached. Reached? Reached. Reached. I was able to reach. I don't know. Just reached. Good ball. Good ball folly there. What's on that? There we go. A $200 platypus voucher.

You're going to be able to buy so many platypuses with that. Aren't platypuses like 20 bucks? Yeah, they are. That's 10 platypi. I know. It's a lot of platypuses. No that? Aren't platypusses like 20 bucks? Yeah, they are. That's 10 platypi. I know. It's a lot of platypusses. No, the shoe store. Congratulations.

Thank you. Maddie, all yours. Well done. It's all thanks to McCafe, our show sponsor. You can try the refreshing McCafe iced coffee, available now at Macca's McCafe. We'll give you another chance to play and win tomorrow on the show as well. ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan. Your big

bum had an adventure on Friday, didn't it? Well, I didn't want to say that. I didn't want to announce Your weighty, your weighty took us. I didn't want to announce this to the Nationborn, but yes, at a potluck dinner on Friday night I did fall through a chair. I don't like that that happens.

Even if it's totally an architectural design fault. It was an architectural design through a chair. Oosh. I don't like when that happens. Even if it's totally an architectural design fault with a chair. It was an architectural design with a chair. It was like an outdoor seat. You know they've got wooden frames, your classic wooden outside chair, and it's got a fabric canvas seat? I hate them. Yeah.

For some reason, there was some kind of tricky design where they were interwoven and folded over like a flex kit A. Oh. Kind of. But it was material. It wasn't like a hard plastic. No, it was a canvas. It was a woven canvas.

It was like it was then folded over and kind of under, and then it would tuck into under the chair, but the weight would keep it there, but it had come out. So it's not like it wasn't like. It was that your ass was too skinny. I'm going with that. Because it wasn't holding it down at the sides. But it certainly didn't help when everybody was around

and I was basically in the centre and fell through the chair. Yeah, I had that. Horrible, horrible. I know when it happens. Because I've broken an office chair before. Same thing. Horrible. It was just excessive use

of the office chair it wasn't me it was the wheel that came out it's a bit like you know when you try to open a jar and you can't get it open

but then someone else opens it you weaken it you've loosened it yeah or when you're in the back seat of a car and you go over

like a curb onto the road and the car goes that's just because there's lots in the boot. That's the big load in the back of the car is obviously not, you know, the standard load of the car. Nobody needs that kind of shame after a lockdown, after lockdowns.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. May your chairs be strong this summer. Off to the gym after this. Yeah, I bet.