ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 13th July 2020

Episode Date: July 13, 2020

I Know I'm not the Only One!  Date First Impressions  Anna's Public Toilet FiascoTom Sainsbury!  Self PortraitsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, and welcome to the Fleeche Warner Megan podcast. It's Thanks to McCafe by Five McCafe Coffees. Get one free on the Maccas app. Anything to add before we start the podcast? Oh, I drove on the new Waikato Expressway here in Aotearoa. Yeah, I did that a couple of weekends ago. It's good, isn't it? Oh, what a wonderful stretch of road.

I think I got on and I put the speed out of the speed. What is that called? Cruise control. On 105 and I sat on 105. I thought it was 110 the speed limit on that. All the way. I just said 105 to make myself sound not like I was speeding. It was 115, wasn't it?

And because I'm pretty sure. No, no, no. It was 110. Right. But then in the areas where it's not 110, because that whole, you can't go 110 the whole way. There's only certain areas 110. I knocked it down a couple, then put it up. But that doesn't sound as impressive as I put on cruise control and didn't touch it until I almost got home. Yeah.

That sounds way better, doesn't it? Is it real straight? No, it's just real good. It's wide. Real good. It's just wide. No sharp corners. Like it's, how do you describe those corners?

Gently curving. Yeah. G describe those corners? Gently curving. Yeah. Gentle annies. Gently curving. Gentle annies. They're not like sharp. Gentle bends. Gentle bends.

So does that make it quicker to get to Hamilton? Way quicker. You don't have to go through Huntly. Yeah, you bypass the whole thing. How great a bypass is that? Like, fuck small towns. See ya. See ya, Huntly.

That's exactly what they are doing to small towns. They're fucking them. Because there's all those fast food restaurants there as well. Yeah, they're McDonald's. They'll do okay. Yeah, they'll still do okay, but they're already putting some on the new stretches, aren't they? Well, yeah, it's kind of top and tail by Macca's and BP's. Yeah, right, okay.

The State Highway 1 now, because at Drury you can stop, fill up, get Maccas. And then on the way back, just out of Hamilton, before you get to Topiri, you can get Maccas and BP. It's fantastic for our sponsor, McCafe. It is. And as previously mentioned, buy five McCafe coffees and get one free on the Maccas app. And maybe enjoy a gentle bend. I was thinking, could you do this? If you had the Maccas app and you you bought five coffees because there were six people

on your little roadie, then the sixth could get it for free. Now, if you're running the Macca's app, you should not tell everybody that's happening. You know, good call. And then you cash in for the free coffee. I thought you were about to say have them all yourself and then be careful because you can't stop on Huntley. There's toilets there. You'll shit yourself.

No, no. You'll be bypassing. You have to hold it all the way until you get to Hamilton. Oh yeah, no, five coffees on that stint of drive would be a bad idea. Yeah, you're right. You be in charge of the coffees. Yeah. So, hey.

Anything to add, Megan? You don't know what we're talking about. You haven't done it, have you? Do you think I could pull off a denim jacket like that with the woolen collar? A shirling jacket Try it, put it on now Put it on now and try it Because I've just recently I got given a denim jacket

Were you wearing that out the other night? Hashtag gifted Did I see that? Yeah I told you you looked nice in that denim jacket I know, but it takes a lot It takes a lot for me to try these things Was it denim on denim?

What were you wearing pants-wise? Black denim Blue denim, black denim I don't consider that a denim on denim It What were you wearing pants-wise? Black denim. Blue denim, black denim. I thought it looked good. I would consider that a denim on denim. It looked good. To be double denim, it's got to be the same shade. Same shade of denim.

No, it looked good. But that's what I want one of those. Get a shirling jacket. The woolly lining. Yeah. But then you'll go to buy one and you'll look at the price and you'll be like, shit. Oh, yeah. And you'll end up getting a cheap one and it won't be well.

It'll be... But then what about like save marts and secondhand stores and stuff? Yep. Just get a normal denim jacket, get some wool off your sheep and sew it on. I could do that. That'll look so cool. That'll look so cool. Now if I'm short on sheep, could I put some goat hair in the mix?

Yeah, or some cat hair. Please do. Just a bit of everything. Just the farm legs. I mean, you can afford... Highland cattle. Yeah, I mean, you Please do. Just a bit of everything. Just the farmlets. I mean, you can afford to buy that jacket. But I can not afford to do this myself. If you want to make yourself go for it. Yeah, that sounds like a way better idea.

I mean, we're in a recession. It would be wasteful. We've got animal hair from the farmlet. Yeah. Unique. Chuck some pubes in there for good measure. Not a lot of warmth in a pube. No, is he not?

I don't know. I've never been covered in a pube jacket. I've had one area covered in pubes. Well, to be honest, it's never got cold. What are you Googling? The warmth of pubes? They wouldn't be dense enough. A lot of reasons.

If a pube was really tightly packed, it'd be quite a warm hair because it's coarse. Pubic hair as a source of warmth is more important of a concept for men than women. They get a lot less direct body heat, so having a neutral fur coat makes a lot more sense. A lot of reasons a caveman might need pubes don't apply once you have quality threads on your body. Yeah, so now we have the inverse. Right.

What, his pubes were... Do we need pubes? To keep them warm. We've been curious. Yeah, so I might need to do some research and get back to you on this. Whether or not... Out of 10, how much do we actually need pubes?

Not now with our modern clothing. No. Yeah. I mean, a lot of us don't have pubes, do they? A lot of us have had them lasered off. Yeah. Yeah. But it would be weird if everybody was just no pubes anymore.

I think it's important to have variety. It is the spice of life. Yeah, it is. It is. And some people are into them. Not everybody. Yeah, no, you're right. Some people.

Yeah. We'll leave you with that then to percolate in your head. Good day. ZM. Head music. Live ZM. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. HappyM. Hit music. Live ZM. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

Happy Monday. Happy Monday. Fletch was late this morning. Oh. It really should. I was actually worried. Only a few minutes late. Sleepovers?

No. I don't want to say. I told Megan the reason, but I'm not going to say on air. He left the house and then decided he needed to go back to visit the bathroom. Ah. Thanks, Megan. That'll happen. Thanks, Greg.

That'll happen. Well, I think my pooing schedule got out of, you know, how it always is the same time every day for most people. Got out of whack. So over the weekend it's got out of whack. Might have been my big stir fry last night. I mean, I don't know. That would have got stuff moving.

Yeah. I was really worried. I got here and it was all dark. Fletch is always here before me. I know, and then I got here and you were here before me, and I was like, oh, I'm going to have have got stuff moving. Yeah. I was really worried. I got here and it was all dark. Fletch is always here before me. I know, and then I got here and you were here before me, and I was like, oh, I'm going to hear about that. Yeah. I'm like, these are the light switches, Megan.

Yeah, I was going to say, did you know if you've worked out how to turn the lights on? No. Okay. Yeah. Really shrewd me off. Yeah. Our bonus banger back today, All Things to Save My Bacon.

We'll tell you what song you've got to be listening out for in about 25 minutes. We want to tell you soon, Melbourne back in lockdown. Oh, my God. And how some people got themselves busted at the weekend. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Melbourne back in, well, it looks like the Grasps. They had their worst day yesterday, I think.

Yeah. After COVID-19. A few mates in Melbourne just seeing their stories on the gram. Yeah. Just locked up. Didn't Sydney even have a bit of a scary Saturday? They had a whole bunch of numbers. So someone working at a bar tested positive.

And a few other people from that bar. Yeah. Yeah. And, of course, they've been out for the last, like, few weeks with no social distancing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Massive lines and everything. Partying in public.

Yeah. But the story I'm going to tell you comes to us from Melbourne. And before I tell you the story, I want to tell you, because I'm always interested in how big a story gets, whereabouts it goes around the world. Yeah. Fox News reported this. Mm-hmm.

Here in New Zealand, there's been reports. The New York Times, The Guardian. So it's, you know, been all around the world. Yeah. And BuzzFeed News even covered it. Oh, okay. And that's where I'm going to take my information from because afterwards I plan to find out what Disney princess I'd be.

Good. Sure. So it was 1.30 a.m. And a suspicious order was placed at a KFC. Now, remembering that Melbourne's in lockdown, you've got to be in your house, you can't have your massive gatherings. You guys remember what lockdown was like.

But you can go to KFC? Yeah, no, even in Australia, remember, they left everything, all, everything open. So you can still go to get food, takeaway. Yes. Right. Dodgy. Yeah.

So this two customers went in because you all went through drive-thru, rather. And obviously that's the amount of people they could be with. Yeah. However, they ordered roughly food for 20 people. Some big buckies. Yeah. So that was suspicious. Yeah.

Very suspicious. And so then the KFC staff, and apparently there was an ambulance there. Right. Around the area that were like, that was weird, and KFC staff talked to them, and they were like, I think you should report that to the police. They did. Their number plate was taken on the camera.

They reported that to the police. They went. Their number plate was taken on the camera. They reported that to the police. They went round to the home of that number plate. And as they arrived, they found two people asleep in the front room. Yeah. And 16 others hiding out the back. It had been for all of the people hiding out the back. So they were drinking and partying. Yeah. Wow.ying? Yeah.

Wow. Okay. Yeah, and then there'd been a call for KFC, but of course they were like, well, we can't all go. Yeah. But we all want KFC, so what about if you just place 20 orders? Wow. Yeah, and so 16 of those partygoers were issued fines.

The two people asleep in the front room, who apparently weren't even faking it, they just... Okay, yeah. That actually saved them some money. So they were issued fines that accumulate to over $30,000. Wow, that's some expensive takeaways. Yeah.

I hope it was good. But that's our equivalent of level four that they're in at the moment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah. Very naughty. And it only just kicked off as well. Yeah.

And that already broken the lockdown rules. So, hmm. Apparently, they weren't the only ones who got fined. Four sex workers were fined at a brothel for still receiving customers. Oh, really? And a couple tried to escape to their holiday home via, you know, a car.

They were in their car, but they were stopped on two different occasions and they were issued a fine as well because everyone was told not to go to holiday homes. Yeah. Just stay in their usual residence. And their fines are big, aren't they? Yeah. Are they four or 5,000 each person or two per person?

Well, the people who were fined. 16 times. That was 30, wasn't it? No. Yeah, yeah. So it was about 2,000 each. Wow. In total.

Yeah. So... Stop escaping from isolation in New Zealand, please, because none of us want to go back to that. Exactly. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. For the first time since 1997, Star Wars The Empire Strikes Back

is number one in the box office in America. Because they reissued, in the late 90s, they reissued Star Wars and they did some, in my opinion, huckery CGI bits to it. And the lead up to the launch of the prequels in 99 was when Phantom Menace came out. So there was the digital re-release. So are there people even still going to the movies in America? Well, apparently. Just with masks. So it ended the weekend taking in around between $400,000 and $500,000.

That's George Lucas' lot. Okay. I'll take it. I'll take it. Jump change. I'll have it. Wow. So if that's leading the box office, then not as much going to the movies because that's not a high amount.

Yeah, and also the movie studios have all these movies they're sitting on. Yeah, no new releases. Well, what's the new, who does Tenant? Oh, the new Christopher Nolan. Yeah, I'm waiting for that. He's delaying it. That keeps getting pushed back.

Aren't we sitting on Mulan as well? Yep. We're waiting for that. Push back James Bond to the That keeps getting pushed back. James Bond. Sitting on Mulan as well. Yep. We're waiting for that. Push back James Bond to the end of the year because the movie companies in America, obviously people can't go to the movies. They're not going to get the box office weekend that they would hope for. Exactly. That James Bond that they have delayed out was very expensive.

Yeah. And it looks good. It has lots of accidents. Yeah. Yeah. And they couldn't just show it here, right? Because someone would pirate it and put it on Pirate Bay. Probably.

Yeah. That'd be right. But we'd know who. It's New Zealand. We'd be like, Steve, did you record James Bond and put it on Pirate Bay? Steve would be like, how do you know? Well, we heard you talking, Steve. Whoa, that's crazy.

Oh, it was because I was eating my popcorn loud, wasn't it? Yes, Steve. Yes, it was. I've just gone to the event cinemas here, the listings. So it's school holidays, so you've got Trolls. Trolls. And a whole lot of kids' movies. Moana is showing again.

Yep, Frozen 1 and 2 I saw before. And Sonic the Hedgehog is still in the cinemas. But there's a, so I've got it, because you went to a retro movie recently. Moulin Rouge. As soon as we could go to the cinemas, as soon as they opened up. I went to Moulin Rouge.

Because like, I don't know if I even saw that in the cinema originally. I don't think I've ever seen it. That's here, Moulin Rouge. I don't need to see that. That's so good. Baz Luhrmann. That's a, Moulin Rouge. I don't need to see that. That's so good. Baz Luhrmann. That's a red windmill.

Spoiler alert. They're doing a whole lot of retro movies. So Moulin Rouge is one of them. This is on the events website. I saw they did Titanic. Fight Club. Planet of the Apes. Evil Dead.

Wait, which Planet of the Apes? I think the original first one. Like the 60s one. Yeah, Close Encounters, Evil Dead, The Grand Butterfish Hotel, which is a great movie,

Matrix, Gremlins, The Devil Wears Prada. Gremlins would be good. Predator. Predator would

be good. Goonies and The Never Ending Story. Oh my god. The Gleads, we can kill it. A lot of those

movies I would never have seen in a cinema. No. When are you ever going to go and see them again?

But also, how terribly would some of those have aged? Yeah. Didn't you watch Goonies recently? Goonies is good. Is that good? That's still good? Goonies is good. Probably mostly nostalgia.

Yeah, right. But because none of those movies that you just described relied heavily on computer-generated effects. Effects. Like Gremlins was all puppetry. Yeah, right. Okay. And...

I could take my husband to see Gremlins because that was out before he was born, right? I'd be like a new man. Yeah, we'll see that. Wow! Fletchforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Well, New South Wales and Australia, the state,

are starting to charge for compulsory quarantine for travellers arriving back into New South Wales. I don't know. Queensland's been doing this since June? Yeah. Queensland's been doing it for ages. If you wanted to go home to Queensland, you had to pay. Can you quickly Google and find out how much they're charging?

Because New South Wales are going to charge $3,000 for 14 days. That seems to be about the total, right? Whenever I've seen it on the news, they've said that. This is why there are calls now in New Zealand for us to be charging

as well. But I didn't think that that was legal. You're causing restrictions for people to come back to the country that they're a citizen of. Yeah, well, it'd be interesting to see if anyone takes them to court. You can get in. Yeah, but you're restricting it to people who can actually afford it, which is not, it's against human rights, isn't it?

I started off thinking if they've left it this late, then they should be charged. But then I heard stories and I hadn't thought about it. And that's, I've changed my mind, which is weird in 2020. No, you're allowed to change your mind in 2020. People don't. They said it's a sign of weakness, don't they? They do, yeah.

Change your mind in 2020. But then I heard about, like, there was a couple on the news last night who were like, oh, we thought we were sweet in Canada. We thought our jobs were okay. We thought we were going well. And then our traveling visas or our working visas were until next year. And then all of a sudden where we lived, they've said, no, you've got to go. Yeah.

Or people lost, like you say, jobs or leases. Yeah. And so all of a sudden their circumstances changed. Or they couldn't get out of like leases. Yeah. And so they were stuck there and it would have cost them thousands and thousands, way more money to break the lease to get out. I was kind of the same as you. I was like, why weren't you back here in February?

Yeah. Or March? But yeah, there's got to be a bit of understanding. What we've done is we've had an opinion. Yeah. And then we've somewhat educated ourselves on people's circumstance. Yes. And changed our minds.

Yes. And that's okay. I know. And it's really interesting. I mean, that will certainly test myself if one of these people brings in COVID into the community. Oh, if they community transition. Oh, yeah. And these people that are breaking out of isolation.

I know. Had a gut for them. In Australia. I know how much it costs. Okay. How much in Queensland? In Queensland, it costs $2,800 for one adult. Yep.

If two adults come back, like a couple comes back, it gets cheaper. Yeah, so same. $3,700 and $4,600 for two adults, two children. Yeah, so in Australia, if you had a family of four, that would be $5,000. So it's $1,000 for an additional adult. Right. So $3,000, then $1,000. So if you're a single traveller, that's $214 a night for food and accommodation.

And transfers. Yeah. They hold your name up on one of those signs at the airport before they get you on the bus. How do they get you out of the airport? I see the buses around the city all the time. But you must have to go straight to the bus. I'd say so, yeah. But you see the buses and everyone on the bus has a mask

and they're just dropping them all at the hotels or picking them up. But then in some hotels, people are staying at a five star or four star, which $214 a night's good. But have you seen some of them?

Yeah, that's like a good expedier, isn't it? Like you're in a poo motel or something. You'd be like, well, if I'm paying $214... I feel sorry for the people who get tested positive for COVID because they might have been in a five star and then they get shipped

out to that one that's not. Yeah. And it's like, don't go anywhere. Yeah. But I think they get shipped there because it's very hard to break out of that one. Is it? Yes. And the neighbours will give you the smash if you break out. Pretty much. Somebody had just messaged in saying, my family's

stuck in the Philippines. They've had flights continually cancelled. They tried to fly home for the first time on the 20th of March and still aren't home. Oh, wow. Just get put out a week or two weeks. Yeah, it's not as easy as just booking a flight and getting on it. No, no. Flights get cancelled.

Yeah. Nobody's business. And as we all know, anyone that's been dealing with an airline, you get your money back straight away or they get you on the next flight, don't they? That was quite... Sarcasm. Wasn't it? Dripping.

Dripping. Heavy with sarcasm. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Producer Jared, I don't know what kind of inspired him to do this, but he decided to use a big word in a sentence for the first time. Yeah, it was nerve-wracking. Who were you talking to? Was it someone you were trying to impress?

It might have been, yeah. Oh, no. Okay. Was it a bit of a run-up to the word? It was a heated debate, and then the word popped into mind, and I was like, yes, this is the perfect opportunity.

This is the moment. So who, friends, flatmates, Tinder date? And then a word popped into mind and I was like, yes, this is the perfect opportunity. This is the moment. So who, friends, flatmates, Tinder date? A fellow and farmer? A friend. We'll go with friends. Okay, all right. Okay. Yep.

What was the argument about? Yeah, what was the heated debate about? I can't actually remember because it just devolved into her just roasting me. Devolved? Devolved. Devolved, yeah. Oh. Yeah.

So I used the word vehemently. Vehemently. Yeah. And apparently I'm saying it wrong. Yes, you are. But it's one of those words I've only read. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're saying it phonetically.

And it sounds like you're saying behemoth. Yeah, it's a behemoth of a word. Yeah, yeah. vehemently. Vehemently. So what happened when you dropped vehemently? She kind of stopped and was like, did you just say vehemently? And I was like, yep, it means to be like passionate. And I fully explained what the word meant.

And she was like, no, no, no. You said it incredibly wrong. Wow. So you lost that argument. Yeah, oh, immediately. You said it incredibly wrong. Wow. So you lost that argument. Yeah, oh, immediately. But then were you reading Harry Potter before the movies? Yeah, yeah, and I thought Hermione Granger was Hermoyne. Hermoyne Granger.

And when I went and saw the movies and it was like, my name's Hermione Granger. I was like, your name is what? No, it's not. It's Hermoyne. Well, it's not like it comes with a pronunciation guide at the start of the book. No, and I'd never heard of that name before. I thought J.K. Rowling had made it up.

Yeah. But she had not. Yeah, no. It is a name. Yeah, that's the thing. If you've only ever read vehemently. There are some big words. Have you ever read a word and you're like, what is it?

And then you're like, that's how it's said. You kind of forget when you see it written down because you've never really seen it written down. Yeah, like Arkansas. Or you hear Americans say words differently. Yeah. Because they say some words differently. Like Antarctica.

Aluminum. We say aluminium. Yeah. I prefer aluminium. Aluminum. Because you reckon that sounds better than aluminium. Aluminium is like a lot of dancing around with your tongue. It's dark.

Aluminium. Like, say aluminium. Aluminium. Aluminium. Also doesn't cover all the letters that are there. Yeah, right. Aluminium. Aluminium.

Aluminium. Aluminium. Oh, yeah, okay. Aluminium. Yeah. It sounds lazy, though. Aluminium. Sounds fancier.

Do you reckon? I always thought it was the other way around. Maybe it was because you always heard someone say aluminum in another accent, so it sounded slightly fancier. Fletchvorna Megan, the podcast. ZM. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there.

I've just learned a new word for tooth decay. Or cavities. Dental caries. Oh, my God, that's so cute. That's real cute. I've got a dental carie. Dental space caries. Right.

Yeah. Dental caries. Like, that's multiple tooth decay. Well, I don't know. No, I don't believe so. It's not multiple. Because in this article I'm reading about things that are bad for your teeth, they say about how a pediatric dentist at Starship Children's Hospital,

Dr. Katie Bark, said thousands of children face hospital treatment every year because of tooth caries. Tooth caries are the leading cause of avoidable hospital treatment for children in this country. Terrible oral health across the board. Yeah, so what are these new foods that have been added to the list? Well, I mean, it's stuff that we all knew. High sugar fruit juice.

Lollies. Lollies, yeah, sugar sweetened soft drinks. However, white bread, refined breakfast cereals, and noodles have been added to the list. Noodles? What? Noodles. How are noodles bad for your teeth if you don't cook them?

Noodles don't have sugar in them. Pardon me? Noodles don't have sugar. Start some, is it like refined starches? Which is starch as a form of sugar. It turns to sugar. Yeah. But you just eating it, not so good.

So that's surprising. But here are the top six other reasons your childhood diet was bad for your teeth. Okay. Number six. Jelly crystals on white bread sandwich. Yes. I never did that. I just dipped my finger in the jelly crystals. Or just get a teaspoon.

What was, what do you call it Ray? Fairy bread. It was like fairy bread on crack. Crystal meth fairy bread if you use blue crystals. I never did it on bread. But was like fairy bread on crack. Yeah, right. Crystal meth fairy bread if you use blue crystals. I never did it on bread. No. But was it actually nice?

It was coloured sugar on white bread. Oh, you're true. With a whole lot of butter. Of course it was nice. Yeah, okay. Yeah, but it was also a hiding.

So you had to weigh up am I going to get caught? Is the hiding going to be worth it? The 80s. Number five on the list of the top six other reasons your childhood diet was bad for your teeth. Double strength cordial.

That was where you were left in charge of making the cordial and you just soup it up a bit. I remember when we switched from, mum made the decision to switch from Raro to that Thrifty. Oh, we never had Thrifty. Was Thrifty sugar free? Yeah, and so God knows what was in it back in the day, especially.

But couldn't you get sugar-free Raro in the end? I think it went to colour-free Raro. But it was more that we'd churn through the packets. Yeah, we were only allowed to use half a packet on a litre. So it was like... Were you only allowed to use half a sachet per litre? You poor thing. I think we got one sachet for two litres.

Yeah, it was watered down. Yeah, it was like a lemon sneezed in my drink. Oh, yeah, no, that's not, I felt sorry for you kids. We had poverty. My dad didn't like drinking water, so we had full strength cordial the whole time. Really? Yeah, my dad's like really bad at drinking water.

Mum's come out and she's like, have you drunk any water? He's like, no. What does he drink now? Still drinks cordial. Yeah. Oh my god. Because we're not at home. He drinks that Barker's cordial. Have you had that? That's bougie cordial.

That's what rich people have. Well no he doesn't have to share it with anybody. Yeah right. And he just has you know enough cordial that he doesn't go through it very fast. What if he fizzed the water and then put that in? That's bougie. Oh my. I never. Like a bougie sodaial. Yeah. But he doesn't go through it very fast. What if he fits the water and then put that in? That's bougie. Oh, my. I never, like a bougie soda stream.

Yeah. I never thought about that for the, do they do a sugar-free one? Barkers. I don't know. I don't know. Takes the fun out when it goes sugar-free, eh? I'm someone that took the color out of everything and you drank it. Yeah.

And you're like, all right, I'm ready for the sugar hit and the color hit. When you're a kid and then nothing happens and you're like, what, I'm ready for the sugar hit and the colour hit when you're a kid and then nothing happens and you're like, what's happening? Where's the sugar? Where's the colour? It's like your superpower

doesn't come. Yeah, yeah. See, I thought I can throw a web. What does Spider-Man do? Parkour. Shoot a web.

Shoot a web. No, it's not happening. Number four on the list of the top six other reasons your childhood diet was bad for your teeth are roll-ups.

Just heaps of roll-ups. You wrap it around your finger and it's like a finger lollipop. Yeah. That was the gross way of doing it. Even as a kid, I realised how dirty hands were. Do you wrap it around your finger and suck on your fingers? Yeah. No.

Finger lollipop. You took the whole thing out of its little rat and you just shoved it all in your gob and you're like... And it just ripped any loose teeth out. So I like to savour it. I wish I could join in on this conversation, but we didn't have them. What about fruit for yonks?

Oh, yeah, fruit for yonks is what you wrap down your finger. No. But the fruit for yonks was the longer, but it was skinnier taste. You had a big bulbous lollipop in the end. Oh, yuck. You would have had sticky... It would have been running down your head. You could wash your hands afterwards.

Because shoving it all in your gob at once is the gentlemanly way. You can be drilling it down your face. You're going, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. We just had nature's candy. Raisins. Gala apples. Gala apples. Yep, dude.

Number three. I'm going to move on because it's going to get traumatic for you in a minute. Number three on the list of the top six other reasons your childhood diet was bad for your teeth. Nutella on toast for breakfast. And then again, another slice for morning tea. Probably one for lunch. Definitely two for afternoon tea.

And maybe you'd sneak in a couple of slices after dinner. Did you actually have Nutella? Because that's a whole jar you just described. On the very rare occasion we had Nutella. Oh, we weren't allowed to tell. No, we had. Mum's main reason for the hazelnut spread was how difficult the Nutella jar was to get everything out of. Right.

Because it was. It went round. You just put your finger around the lid. Around the rim. Yeah, you had to get it in. Yeah. Did you? Number two on the list of the top six other reasons your childhood diet was bad for your teeth.

Noodles are on the list, but they were bad for another reason when you were a kid. You ate them uncooked. Is that bad? Not bad, but adding to the fact that the starch is not good for your teeth, you're now chewing it when it's as hard as rocks before cooking. You got yourself a real teeth. The cuts in your mouth make you feel alive. The cuts, and then the sockets and the cuts.

And then you're like. Did you ever, did you crunch them up before you opened the packet and then did you add the flavour? And then you eat them like chips. And then you eat them like chips. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I could never do it. Yeah, totally.

Poo stabby. And number one on the list of the top six other reasons your childhood diet was bad for your teeth was these revelations. Number one, a white bread noodle and cornflake sandwich to the top six other reasons your childhood diet was bad for your teeth with these revelations. Number one, a white bread noodle and cornflake sandwich with cordial and a few lolly chases. Wow. You're not going to have any teeth.

No. You don't deserve nor have teeth remaining. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Are you ready? Yep. I hope I'm not the only one. Beautiful. You can't tell. Are you ready? Yep. Beautiful.

You can't tell. I don't think so. You really can't tell. Seamless. That that's you. Your horrible falsetto or Sam Smith. It's like I traced it. It's like I traced it.

Yeah. And then redid it. Pretty much indistinguishable from the original. Right. Well, I hope I'm not the only one in a segment of the show where we find out if you are all alone in a habit that you have or something that you do. Joining us this morning, Cecilia, how are you? Hi, guys. Morning.

Good. Right. So we put out the call. Who wants to participate? Is there anyone out there with what they think is a weird habit? And you replied, Cecilia, what do you do that you think you're the only one in the whole country that does this? So I'm very particular about how I hang my washing out.

And particularly my socks. So a pair of socks will go with one pair. But if there's a single sock, it'll go by itself. And then when I get my washing in, I just leave all the single socks out on the washing line until they're rematched, I guess, reunited with their pair. So they just stay out there for weeks or months until they have a pair.

Oh! Where do you find, in your experience, where are the other socks? I don't know, around the house. As my boyfriend, he always leaves his socks around. Right. So one sock might get, or one sock might get caught up in a pair of jeans if you take the

sock off and then you took the jeans off. They could be in there somewhere. So you wait till they're rematched. Yeah, he's had a sock out there for a solid two months out on the line. See, I have a real issue with people leaving washing on the line, because especially in winter

it gets damp and then people have their chimneys going. And then also in summer it gets faded, doesn't it? Yeah, definitely. The sock came back in and it was brown. Brown. Wow. Right, so you managed after a while to find a pair for that, but you're saying you could leave socks out for months.

Months. Right. Why then? Because I do this every now and again. I run a pretty tight ship. You're saying you could leave socks out for months? Months. Right. Why? Because I do this every now and again. I run a pretty tight ship. Yeah. But I tell you what, every now and again a sock does turn up and it's just a single sock. And I'm like, well, you go back in the sock drawer.

Because I always turn my socks into each other so they're a pair. And when I put them in my drawer, but if there's a single sock, I'll just put that to the side of the drawer and I'll be like, that's all right, he'll be back soon. Yeah, I just refuse to have one of those drawers or one of those areas. How long does it live on the washing line until you just throw it away?

I haven't really ever thrown it away because eventually they actually do come back. This is madness. I can't believe this thrown away because eventually they actually do come back. This is madness. I can't believe this. Just playing the waiting game means the socks turn up again. I know. I've had, like, people over for barbecues and they're always like, why are you just socks when you're washing mine?

That's where they stay until their partner comes out. They're like a war widow sock. They'll wait. They're just out there waiting. But, you know, some people, you see some people will just match up odd socks and wear odd socks. I can't do that. I'll do that. I'll do that.

No, that does my head in. As long as they're the same material, you couldn't go a thick sock with a thin sock. Not different colours, though. I could go different colours. Oh, no. No plans with that. Okay, well, Cecilia, I wonder if this could be our first only one

because I think this is very odd. We want to hear now from anyone who, like Cecilia, will leave a sock on the washing line until it finds its match. Because I don't think we're going to find anyone else that does this, Cecilia. I've never heard of... Your boyfriend's not allowed to call either. No. What does the boyfriend think of this?

He did think it was a bit odd in the beginning, but I do the washing, so you can't really say much. I think it's a great idea. But then what kind of pegs are you running? Because a strong westerly blows through. Yeah, right. Have you ever lost a sock to the breeze? No, but if they fall on the ground,

then I'll just pick them up and put them back on the washing machine. Yeah, what if they're like, there's a storm coming? You're like, well, strong ass will survive it. Well, sock, this will teach you to lose your travel buddy. All right, well, give us a call, 0800-DARLS-AT-M, 9696. We want to see if we can find somebody listening now who, like Cecilia, will leave a sock on the line until we find its partner. I think this could be the first time we find you alone, Cecilia.

All right, 0800 DARS at Emma's number, 9696 to text. We'll come back next and see if you're alone. I wasn't ready. Oh, you missed it. I'm not going to... Do you want to do it again? Yes, please. You tell me when. Give me a three. Make him do it without saying. Give me a beep, beep, beep, beep.

Okay, beep, beep, beep, beep. I hope I'm not the only one. All right, well, we just heard from Cecilia moments ago. Now, Cecilia, you think you're the only one that does this. You will leave a rogue sock on the washing line until you find its partner. Yes. All right, now, do you think you're alone in this?

Probably. Well, Anna joins us. Anna joins us. Anna, your partner does this. Yes, she does. Morena. More does. Morena. Morena. I just didn't want, like, no one to call.

Yeah, no, my partner does do this, and she'll put it out, and they don't stay out for weeks because I bring them in when they start to feel a bit lonely. They do, they start to feel lonely. Yeah, they do. So what I do with my single socks is I'll hang them so they're hanging over the sock drawer. So they're like half out, half in.

Oh no. Oh no, no. I can't. No, no, no. So then they're like inside at least. Inside and dry. Yeah, but they're poking out of the drawer. That's okay, though.

I love how Cecile is like, no. Otherwise, if they're, like, loose outside, like, I don't know where to put them. Yeah, right. And they can go in the drawer because, like, they don't have a friend. Do they ever go stiff if you leave them on the line too long? No. Oh, sorry. No, no.

Not for you. I've left a towel on the line for a very long time and it went a bit stiff. Anna, thank you. Angie, you also do this. Yes. Good morning. Good morning.

Wow. Cecilia, you're not alone. Thank God. Angie, how long have you left a rogue sock out on the line for? Well, it's still there. It's been there probably for about six to eight weeks. At what point are you like, okay, the friend's gone forever and you take it off?

Well, no, I just feel like the other sock's going to show up with my little boy's sock and other sock's going to show up. It's my little boy's sock and it's not going to fit him anymore. So I don't even know why I'm leaving it hanging. Oh, yeah, children's feet grow real quick. You just need to find the pin. Yeah, it's going to be a sad day when you take that sock off the line, isn't it, Angie? I think that's why I haven't done it. Yeah. That's going to be a sad day when you take that sock off the line, isn't it, Angie? I think that's why I haven't done it. Yeah.

That's tough. Yeah, it's like when I take the sock off the line and it doesn't fit his foot anymore, my little man's growing up. Wow. Cecilia, how do you feel knowing that you're not alone? I'm pretty good. Pretty good. Pretty good.

No, I'm not the only one happy. Yeah, right. Somebody, I'll just chuck this at you before we leave, Cecilia. Somebody said they left a sock on the line for three weeks, and when they finally took it off, spiders had made it home inside the sock. Okay. I don't know. I've never had that.

Yeah, that's like one of those, yeah. Yeah, that's math. Cecilia, thank you for opening up and sharing with us this morning. You've found some friends. And you're not the only one. I'm glad you don't think so. Keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier. As it heralds new podcasts,

the front page is your short, sharp daily news podcast. Join me, Damien Venuto, every weekday morning as I chat with journalists and newsmakers going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest news stories

of the day. Listen to the front page at nzherald.co.nz slash podcasts and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. Fleshfauna Megan, the podcast. ZM.

Demi Moore, Demi Moore. Demi. I say Demi, but I know there are people that say Demi. Demi. I say Demi too, but I think it might be Demi. I don't know. Demi Moore. She's doing a fictional podcast that's called Dirty Diana.

She has revealed this on her Instagram. Now, it's not the podcast that I want to talk about. It's the picture has revealed this on her Instagram. Now, it's not the podcast that I want to talk about. It's the picture she put up on her Instagram. So she was like, behind the scenes, this is what I've been getting up to. It's her sitting on a floral couch with her laptop headphones on. And at first look, it looks like kind of a retro lounge.

Right. That's when you suddenly notice just behind her shoulder, there's a toilet there. No door. And then there's a second shot from behind her shoulder where she's looking. And there's a bath on the floor. Looks like an inset spa bath.

Yeah. But she's on a couch, like a floral couch. And between the toilet and the bath. She has an open plan bathroom. With carpet. It's fully carpeted. Yeah, it's a carpeted bathroom. It's a carpeted bathroom. I'm just looking now.

That's a miniature couch too. I've just googled because she would be very well off. Let's be honest. She's been in the biz for a long time. I've Googled. She has a mansion in California, in Hollywood.

She, in the hills, this mustn't be her mansion because this mansion I'm looking at looks like a very architecturally designed modern house. It's beautiful. She's worth $200 million. Yes. But this is her idaho

home so i think it might be like a holiday home um it's very retro looking that couch has got stains on it and stuff because it looks like a kiwi batch hey yeah like something you'd you know did that kind of count she'd have a kiwi batch the brown shag pile carpet's a fair indicator. From the 70s? Yeah, the wooden paddling, the internal rock. There's a lot of splash from a toilet. You have a tinkle. That's what I was going to say. You have a little, you know. You don't put carpet all around.

My grandparents had carpet in their toilet. Around their toilet? Growing up. Carpeted toilet, carpeted bathroom, right up to the bath, and their shower had, like, carpet in the shower room, which is nuts because just of the condensation line, but then they had a thin strip of tiles, then the shower. But Nan would always be like, oh, the carpet in the bathroom's wet

because we'd just jump out when you're a kid. You'd just jump out the bar. Or even you'd just accidentally get in and make a tidal wave, a tsunami in your bathroom. Boom, against the back and it flows up over. But we're not the only one. She absolutely, when she put this on Instagram, I think she wanted everyone to focus on the podcast,

but some of the comments are, I think I speak for most when I say you're sitting in your bathroom. I can't tell if there's a couch in your bathroom or a toilet in your living room. This is horrifying. This has disturbed me, my soul, in ways I never knew possible. I will hold this against you till my dying day. So if you were at her Idaho place,

I'm assuming it must be small if the lounge is mixed with the bathroom. But what would you do if you wanted to go to the toilet? Would you have to say, Demi, could you just step outside? I need to do number twos. And then you'd come back into the lounge to sit on the couch and it would be stanky. Yeah. But, yeah, there's no door.

There's no door, so you're just sitting there like, hi. But also the toilet faces, like, the front door or the back door or some door to outside. Oh, I've just found a fascinating article about the history of carpeted bathrooms. That's you for an extended list. Apparently it was a sign of, like, excessive wealth. That you could carpet your bathroom.

In the 70s and 80s. Yeah, if you carpeted your bathroom, it really showed everybody that you were, uh... How did... Just how? You guys were not over... Weren't you peeing on your carpet? Yeah. Or an overflowing toilet.

Yeah. There's so much that could go wrong. What about when you're drunk and you come home and you miss the toilet? Yeah. So many questions. So many things that could go wrong. Wow. Well, you know what?

If someone carpets their bathroom on a block, the whole country would be doing it. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. First impressions on a date are actually very important. I think we kind of knew this. We knew that. Do we need a study to tell us that? Well, it's the specifics of it. So this comes from, it's published in Psychological Science,

which sounds so legit. Sounds like something your mum shares on Facebook. No, those are two very... Your mum shares on Facebook. No, those are two very like they know what they're talking about words. Psychological science. Right. Yeah, fair call. It's not just a Facebook page

because that's an area of science, yes, to be believed, but if a Facebook page was called that, you probably wouldn't... No, it's an actual like medical journal. So first impression is very important, but it's important to have a positive first impression rather than an accurate one.

So, lie? Yeah. You can be whatever you want in the first couple of days. As long as it's positive. Yeah, you have to... But it's fault you're... Well, I mean, you're not going to pretend to be something you're absolutely not, like a princess from the royal family or something.

Right. But little white lies to get you a second date is important these days because people make overly critical judgments and are quick to pass on potential partners that could be very good for them just because they're like, oh, they don't like rugby or something. So you would lie and say that you liked rugby? Not only would I, Fletch, this is absolutely my shtick. What did you tell Mr Toyboy you liked?

I don't know, but like you just, it's the same when you go for a job. You're just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can do that. And then you get the job and you're like, shit, I better learn how to do that. And then worry about the semantics later. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can do that. And then you get the job and you're like, shit, I better learn how to do that. And then worry about the semantics later. Yeah, right. You totally reel them in and then worry about the details because once they like you,

they're going to forget about your little quirks and the fact that you don't like rugby. But I had a friend who told some guy she meant she liked mountain biking. She had to go mountain biking with him all the time. She hates mountain biking. Didn't even have a mountain bike. Does she like it now? No.

Well, how into the relationship are they? Does he love her now? Can she be like, I'm not going anymore? Well, yeah, I don't think she goes now, but yeah.

But you're right, yeah, so she wheeled him in. Yeah. Yeah. Do you not do this? I don't need to. Look at me.

I've got this face. Yeah. You didn't need to tell any... I can't explain what happened with me, but... Right. Yeah, I know. I would have thought that the lies would have been... They're just little white lies.

Like, you're like, yeah, I'm into... Starts out with little white lies, doesn't it? Executive Intern Anya, you told... What did you tell Mr Bun Buns? That I was really into Kanye West. What year was this though? 2015. Oh, I don't know.

That's past you. Well, because he was like, yeah, I'm super into hip hop. And I was like, oh, same. And then you went for the whitest possible answer for hip hop, Kanye West. I love the black eyed peas. Man, Nelly's great. Not, Nelly, Nelly's great. Not for Taro, Nelly, man. And he's like, oh, what's your favorite song?

And I was like, oh, and always go running to Stronger. It's my jam. See, but that was a great album. That whole, that Kanye was, everything else has been rubbish. And then he went off on this big tangent. I was like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yeah, I'm so into that. But again, it doesn't matter because you hooked him in,

and now you can go back to listening to your pop. Yeah, exactly. Ed Sheeran, here we are. We're joined in studio by Thomas Sainsbury, a friend of the show, if I may call you that. What? True, I finally reached the echel What? It's all come true. I've finally reached the echelon.

That's a high level. The upper echelon. You play Darren Bellows, a dithering married Christian politician who enjoys bizarre fetish sessions with a local dominatrix. Yeah. That sums it up, really. Hang on, not me. This is the TV show that I'm...

This is the character you play. Is this based on any particular conservative political figure in New Zealand? Well, for me, like Colin Craig was a big... You can all remember Colin Craig and the kind of scandal that happened with him. He was a starting point. But there's like just a little touch of David Seymour because I got his smile and I was like...

So he smiles. All he does is just go like this. Do you know what my kids call him? Smiley Man. Because when he was on Dancing with the Stars, they he smiles. All he does is just go like this. Do you know what my kids call him? Smiley Man. Because when he was on Dancing with the Stars, they watched that, and they're like, Smiley Man. And now when they see him on the news, they're like, Smiley Man.

It's like a fake smile, though, right? It's like if you had to program a robot to smile. Yeah, you've got to. It's the best you could do. Now, I think Smiley Man, just on a complete side note, you know how there's Slender Man? I think we should start an urban horror I think Smiley Man, just on a complete side note, you know how there's Slender Man, I think we should start an urban horror story

called Smiley Man. Not David Seymour related. Yeah. But it could be David Seymour related. We could spread it in Epsom. Yeah.

See what happens this election. Exactly. Just for a bit of fun. So, a conservative Christian up and coming politician. Yes. Your dad in this,

not your real life dad, the character of your father. Yes. He's like the leader of a church type. Correct. Full-blown. It's kind of like Westborough Baptist Church, if you're familiar with that kind of vibe. Yeah. So very kind of family first, that's what they call it, but, you know, anti-gay, anti-woman's

choice, that kind of party. And then I'm just, my character's just about to launch, he wants to get into the government, into New Zealand, be part of the parliament, and then he's about to do his launch, and then he gets this text message with this little clip of his sex tape that he didn't realise had been filmed, and it's very

very kinky, it's very kinky, it's very, so she's a dominatrix, and I will say that we enacted some of it, and she went too hard. She was like, how hard can I speak? I was like, just go for it. Not that hard.

Is she an actual dominatrix? No, she's not. Oh, she's just an actress? Yeah, she's just an actress. But she got into it so much. She got into it so much. The pain, I still got body memory about it. Right. Were you bruised? Yeah. Yeah, she's just an actress. But she got into it so much. She got into it so much. The pain, I could still, I've still got body memory about it. Right.

Were you bruised? Yeah. Oh, my God. So you can say real life Tom's not much of a fan of kinky. Exactly. No, real life Tom is very vanilla. You prefer a gentle lover? Just a cuddle.

I just prefer a sheet between us with just a hole around the, you know, I'm talking Victorian. I'm talking Victorian. Lie back and think of England, kind of like. That's me. But fully back in vogue because of COVID. Exactly. The Victorian shit. It's still through bodily fluids, guys. Apparently.

There goes your hope for the resurgence of glory holes. Exactly. Dash it. We can only live in hope That a vaccine is found As soon as possible Yeah exactly So everybody can get back To glory holing

How many episodes is this? There's six So two are getting released first So you can watch it You know Yeah Two today Get your wine

Get your wine And then one every week After this So I'm just doing the maths there That's This show Sextortion. Yes. Wellington Paranormal.

Yes. What's it like still having a TV show at TVNZ? Awkward. Really good. And you don't make it good once I left. It was just like, everyone, I walked in and I was like, God, I just feel like the big weight has lifted off. They tore down those cardboard things of, you know,

of the three of you. They tore them down. They burnt them. They burnt them. That was for the best. Those things had some bad, bad juju. If they haven't burnt them, can they bring them here so we can burn them?

Just warns one. And then a blessing. Then thrown in the ocean. Okay, no, that's good. No, congratulations. Thank you very much. No bitterness from you at all. Yeah.

No, no, no, no, no. Oh, you still got the educators and that too, don't you? Yeah, that'll be at the end of the year. That's the third then. I'm going for a trifecta. No, well deserved. You're a very good man. Does this show...

I know we haven't even had the first two episodes. Is it going to be second season? Do you feel like there's room for... I'm just pushing. I'm just going to be publicising this hard because I want to get into it. I want the character to get into politics and I want to be filming in the beehive.

That's my goal. Oh, that would be so cool. Yeah. What is the beehive's policy on filming? Well they let Tover in to do the live crosses don't they? Yeah but those are news reports, they might have deemed them slightly differently

I've done two, I've done maybe three Snapchat videos on the grounds like with the beehive behind me and stuff and the security guards come up to me and be like oh no and then they just kind of walk past so I think the grounds, like with the beehive behind me and stuff, and the security guards come up to me and be like, oh no, and then they just kind of walk past. So I think the grounds are like open, you're free to film there. Right.

So there'll just be me walking up the stairs and then we cut to the studio. Let's talk about the whole Paula Bennett thing, because we haven't talked to you since that. I mean, you were there in her video. She was there in your video. Yeah. So I know, it still hasn't really struck me what's happened.

She told you she resigned before she told the leader. She told two family members and then Tom Sainsbury. That's so brilliant. I know. Well, she left these messages. So she left a message on Facebook and on Instagram and some other way as well. She's like, call me, I've got this idea.

I was like, oh no, what is it? It took me a day to kind of summon the courage to call her. And then she's like, I'm leaving. What? My career. And then she was like, let's do a Stuart at your house so that, you know, you're all set up for it. I can come to you. And I was like, I really want to see what her house is like, right?

So I lied on it and said, I was like, I'm filming in Henderson. Shall I just pop to yours? And she's like, sure, come over. Yeah. So I went over to her place to film, met Ellen, her husband. Finally. You've never met him before? No, never.

I didn't even know what he looked like. What does he look like? Just a stock standard. He's like quite, like he was, I think it made into the video. He was like building in the background. He was making the bathroom in the background. All right, well, Sex Saucer and the first two episodes, TVNZ On Demand are available today.

Tom Sanger, thank you so much for coming in. God, I love you. Please have me every day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. I went to Raglan at the weekend, see the wife's family, who in turn are my family too. Don't know why I specified it's her family. It's not like I'm trying to distance myself from them.

No. But I went for a run around Raglan when I was there, and around the harbour side, there's a lot of trees. This is just the situation with seaside towns in New Zealand. You plant trees to avoid coastal erosion, et cetera. What a great idea. It's just picturesque and beautiful. However, I could see in these trees as I approached something unusual.

There was lights. There was lights. There was camera. Lights like fairy lights? No, there was lights as in like camera lights. Oh, okay. There was camera and there was action. Was it like a TV? No, no, no, no.

Still photos. Someone was having some glamour shots in a pohtukawa. Oh, what a beautiful tree to have a glamour shot in. Not this time of year. It's not flowering, is it? You'd wait till the lush greenness of summer with the red, as described in New Zealand's natural Christmas lights. What was the attire?

It would have been chilly. I didn't want to look. It would have been chilly. It would have been enough to say it would have been chilly. I believe it was a little bit more than underwear, but certainly not enough to wear to the supermarket. Okay. It fell into that jurisdiction somewhere.

Right, okay. And I came to the conclusion that it must have been a glamour shoot. In a tree. Yes. Okay. A tree-based glamour shoot, which is the first of its kind, as far as I know. Now, I've seen many a family portrait in a tree.

Yeah. Like with the kids spread throughout the tree. And I never worked out if that was supposed to be some sort of metaphorical family tree vibe. But then if that was the case, it would be granddad would have to be at the top of the tree and you can't put a pair of oars in that high up in the tree. No.

Because if they fall, they will die. Yeah. But this was the first glamour shoot. Because a mate of mine, his mum had glamour shots years ago. Years ago. Why not? Because it's rude to your mate's mum. Oh, I don't care.

But it is weird because, like, where did she hang that? So they were in the hallway of the house. Now, that was something else that was unusual. And then when we were like, what's the story here? She went and got the album with the rest of them in and like showed us. Imagine you go around to your mate's house and you walk down the hallway. You're like, where's the bathroom? He's like, just down there.

And there's like pictures. I just go two pictures past mum's lingerie shirt on a sheepskin rug. Was she in lingerie? Oh. Like, good on her for doing that, but that's not a hang at your house thing. Nah. Or like your bedroom. What is it, a gifted to your partner thing?

Or use it on a dating app thing? Yeah. You know? That's like maybe your third picture on Tinder. I don't know. Or like a special album for your partner Yeah It's not a hang at your

It's not your hang at your house So your extended family and friends can see you A son and he brings his friends over Think about in a couple of generations time When everybody now who uploads Like photos of them Like in G-string bikini type things to the gram and stuff. Like, their kids and their grandkids are looking at it.

Because those photos may have been around back in the day, but... They weren't broadcast and saved online. So, yes, one day someone's going to be like, oh, man, your grandma was so hot when she was crawling in the sand in her bikini in 2019. Yeah, but like when you're a grandma, I'd be like, yeah, look at what I used to look like. Yeah, yeah, that's what I had going on. Yeah. With my butt back in. Because imagine if you could look back and you see your grandma in Bali.

Like in her kini. Couple of big tanks deep. What's go, grandma? Yeah. But then it'd probably just make you depressed looking back at those photos, eh? When you're 80, you're just like, oh, God, what happened? The good old days. Yeah.

Gravity. It's gone by. The glamour shot's a weird one. It was big business back in the day, though. Yeah, right. Wasn't it? Like, you saw ads for them in magazines, and they'd whack a soft focus on the thing, and you'd be, like, on the sheepskin.

Yeah. Drape a mink blanket over your boobs. Yeah. But see, that could have, what you saw at the weekend could have been

someone's like arts project, photography project shoot. Or, yeah, like you say, it could have been someone that's

printing that out to hang on their wall. Like, I could understand if it was a more artistic photo of like, you know, a seabird

in a tree by the beach. But this was a, this was a woman. Could we take some calls this morning on people that have self-portraits or glamour shots? Because I want to see how popular this is now. In your house. Because no one would have like a painted self-portrait,

would they? Imagine that. I'd love a self-portrait of me and like an, you know those old army people? Yeah. Back in the day? I'd love a painted self-portrait. but I'm like, where would I put it? Because if you guys ever came around, you'd be like.

I feel like a painted one's. Weren't you printing out photos of you and Mr. Toyboy the other day? Warehouse stationery, so you can have a photo of yourself again. This was for my parents. You just, you always assume that I'm just putting up a million photos. You know how parents love pictures of their kids? Yeah. Don't they?

I knew I had one. I found it. I got Sade to photoshop me onto an old military. Did she make you smile deeper? No, I don't think so. That is so great. Would she do one for me? That was me when I was a military commander. Because people that know Photoshop love doing stuff for free.

Oh, yeah, yeah, they do that. Graphic designers are big fans of working for nothing because you want an invite to your kid's birthday party. I'd like to think if you had that many medals and was wearing that kind of get-up, you'd pick a better hat than a beanie. Yeah, I'd have a feather in my beanie or something. Yeah, or at least some kind of military logo on your beanie.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, well, I want to take some calls. Does anybody, maybe someone's mum has a glamour shot hanging. Or dad. Or dad. No. Dads don't have glamour shots.

Oh, my God. Or don't they? Or maybe dad did like bodybuilding. Yeah, maybe. And when he was like ripped, he was like, I'm going to get a photo shoot done as well. And he had some sort of sexy black thong on, and he's like. I just don't think it's, like, very Kiwi to have a big photo of yourself

hanging at your house. Is it? Because everyone comes around and be like, shame. Like a family portrait, sure, but, like, a glamour shot or a self-portrait, surely not. How do you love yourself that much? Yeah, people would just mock you, especially in New Zealand. Yeah.

Well, let's open up the phone lines. 0800 DALES AT M. Give us a call. You can text 9696. Yeah. Do you know someone that had a glamour shot? Or a self-portrait? Yeah.

Or has one? Like a painted self-portrait. Or a photo. Or a big photo one. Because I don't think many people would have paintings. No, no, that would be even bougier, wouldn't it? Be impressed. Top points if you know someone.

Well, Vaughn, you saw somebody getting a glamour shot up a tree at the weekend. Somebody asked how you pose seductively up a tree. Well, the clothing set the tone. Yeah, right. It was lacy And there was like a Curved over But it served no purpose

Did she have like a padding To sit on Nah she was Just asked the tree Get very rough Yeah it's a rough bark On a pahutukawa tree Yeah yeah

Yeah It does have us On the subject though Of glamour shots And self portraits And who do you know that has one? Because it's a ballsy move putting a big photo of you up in your house. And it is your house.

But, you know, people come over. And, you know, everyone's seeing that. I know you can be proud of yourself, but I don't know. I feel like it's just a you personal album. It's a big step up from a selfie on Insta. Yeah, I would have just want to be watching TV and then ads come on and your head goes to the side and there you are. Yeah.

I would be like, ugh. Especially if it was like, you know, pre-lockdown and you've got a couple of extra KGs and you're like, oh God. Oh, that would actually be nice. It'd just be lording yourself over you. Maybe an inspiration to. Yeah. All right.

Well, lots of calls. Mike, your stepmum has had a glamour shot. Yeah, yeah, sure does. More than one. So we've got the lounge, dining room, and kitchen. Not glamour shots, but definitely self-portraits. Wow, okay. And the kitchen.

Yeah, yeah. And does Dad love it? I've never actually broached the subject, but we move over, you know, we go around for dinner and stuff, and I'm sitting at the table, and he definitely comments on her perceived beauty,

and we just sort of move on past potatoes or whatever. Did Dad just let her put all of these up? Yeah, yeah, he took down his art and she moved in and, you know, she put up her portraits of herself. Is he in any of these photos? No, no, there's absolutely no pictures of him.

Are they just headshots or are they, like, full body? Headshots or, like, sitting on a rock with her turning her head and, you know, down to the bum area, I guess. Oh, my God. Wow. What the hell? That's brilliant, isn't it? Thanks, Mike.

It's hard to imagine. I can't imagine a self-portrait in a kitchen. No. It's very like kitchens. And also, poor dad got his artwork taken down. I know, where's his artwork gone? Siobhan, your aunt did this. Yeah, yeah. Like kitchens. And also, poor dad got his artwork taken down. I know, where's his artwork gone? Siobhan, your aunt did this. Yeah, yeah.

She, when she was a bit younger, she did a sort of nude modelling thing for people that were painting. Okay. And the person at the end of it, once she'd finished painting my, you know, nudie auntie, had given her the painting. And so my cousins have grown up around this nude of their mum

all over the walls. It just moves around the house, goes from the lounge into the bedroom, into the kitchen. It just moves around and she's lying on this red velvet sort of table thing. So when you say nude, is it like full frontal or is it like she's got a hand over?

It's a bit subtle. She's sort of on her side. You can't see, you know, furry bits but it's very clear that she's a nudie lady on the table. Siobhan, excuse me, I'm just going to have to straight up ask, nipples, yes or no? One, I think. One!

Yes, leave a little to the imagination. How did your cousins deal with their friends coming over and seeing that? Or even you? It's just to avoid your eyes. And it's obvious it's her. It couldn't be anybody else? No, no, it couldn't be anybody else. Brilliant.

Siobhan thinks he called Joe. Have you got a Glamour shot? Yes I had it done many years ago Back in the early 90s When it was really cool to do Yeah And does it still hang up on the wall?

No I was in England at the time And I sent it home to my mum So she had a nice photo of me She put it on the wall Had a tradie in a few weeks later and he said you know you're supposed to take those photos out when you buy the frame explain it with me that's a compliment yeah you look like a stock image model yeah exactly you know the old-fashioned

the old school sepia photo yes yes brilliant joe thanks you go aaron uh your best friend's mom had a glamour shot yep yep best friends i was there all the time she was on the she was on the blanket she had short hair a little bit of puffy hair with those big pearl earrings with the metal uh the metal frame you are painting a picture okay so she was on the blanket. Yeah, yeah. Okay, and just... It's bare shoulders. You couldn't see the lower half. But she wasn't that much of an attractive woman anyway. Like, when she was younger.

Obviously, she didn't age well. What a savage review of your mate's mum! She did not age well. Did you ever say anything to him about it? No, I guess I kind of just accept that she was kind of one of those drama people who's a little bit, you know, need a validation from other people. I think she'd be... She's your savage, Aaron.

Holy shit. Savage. Her looks, her insecurities, you're really dragging her around. Oh, brilliant. But amazing. Yeah. Where was it hung? In the house?

Yeah, it was in, like, off the lounge. So, like, we're in, like, one of the corridors where you go to the toilet or the shower or one of the bedrooms. It was in, yeah, it was down there. Wow. Yeah, wow. Yeah. I reckon she'd be fizzing out over Instagram today

if she was that age. Yeah, yeah. Aaron, thanks for your call. So text messages. My best friend's mum had a full lying on the side Rudy Nudy pic hanging in her bedroom. When we sat over as kids, the rest of us would sneak in and have a look

and have a little giggle. I've got a canvas print of my wife in lingerie. It's just over a metre tall. Wow. Wow, okay. Where does that hang? Where does that hang? Yeah.

No word on where that hangs. Okay, we're going to need you to text back and tell us where that hangs. My parents have a black and white self-portrait on the wall of their bedroom, easily seen from the hallway. Also, they don't have clothes on. Easily seen from the hallway. Also, they don't have clothes on. Easily seen from the hallway. That's a real... Shut your door if my friends are over. Please shut your door.

I just put a sticker over it. My mum had a painted portrait of herself, which used to hang in the foyer of the house. So when you came through the front door, it was there on the wall. Just to really let you know how that's done. I could not do this. I let you know how that's done not do this i don't know how this is amazing uh my mother-in-law had a glamour shoot done and for her son's christmas presents that year she gave them both a massive portrait each of her

our copy is sitting in our wardrobe and will never be hung in this house was it was she joking that sounds serious doesn't it because when you like, the school photos back of your kids, you always give a copy to the grandparents. Yeah. But it doesn't work the other way around. Your grandparents don't have a glamour shoot, and then they're like, oh, make sure your grandkids get a copy of that. My mother has a nude of herself in the lounge for everybody to see.

What? Fleshfauna Megan, The podcast. ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day, we're all familiar with non-Newtonian fluid. Fluids? Absolutely, Vaughan. That's like familiar with non-Newtonian fluid. Fluids? Absolutely. That's like...

Newtonian. Newtonian, like Newton. Nope. Isaac Newton. No. No idea. Non-Newtonian fluids. They're basically something that isn't, like quicksand is kind of like an example.

Like, it's not fluid, but then if you, like, bang it, like, remember liquefaction? That, yeah. After the Christchurch thing was kind of hard, but then when you like pat it all really wet sand and it goes to a liquid. That magic like sand that you play with? Kinetic sand? Yeah, kinetic sand. Is that one?

No, that's not one. Saw a meme the other day about how much of your childhood you spend being scared of quicksand. Yeah. And it really never eventuates, does it? I've never come across it. Like you think, how funny and true is that? Like at school you're like, I hope

I never step in quicksand. It was like, earthquake, get into a door frame, volcano, get out the way. Quicksand, don't panic. Yeah, but it was always right up there. Yeah, and where have you seen quicksand? Apart from like

the odd person gets stuck in the mud flaps. Flaps? Those are the things on the car, right? The mud flaps are the thing that starts the mud. Assure me you didn't get caught in any mud flaps. Occasionally they'll land in the mud. If you're wandering into the mud flaps, I think you've gone the wrong way. Yeah.

The mud flats. But that's different. They just have a soft bit of mud and they stop and then they sink. Yeah, but a non-utaining fluid like that cornflower stuff is a great example. Have you ever seen that in a speaker and they put it above like a subwoofer or whatever and it's like kind of just tacky to the touch and then the more movement goes through it, it just turns to liquid. Oh, okay.

And then when you stop, it goes back to it. We have a different time on the internet. Well. We do. Well, ketchup, tomato sauce is an example of a non-Newtonian fluid. So that's why

when you shake the bottle to get more out and you like do that thing where you flick it. Do the windmill. To get it to the, closer to the port.

It also works because it's also making it runnier. Okay. Because it's a non-Newtonian. So you then take the lid off and give it a little squirt

and then you know how sometimes you'll be like, oh, there's not much left and you do the old windmill and the shake and then you squirt and it's like, and it goes everywhere. And you're like, there's more than I expected. It's because you've just given it a whole lot of energy so that it flows easier and it flows out of the bottle.

That is the simplest breakdown I could possibly give from a paper called The Non-Newtonian Fluid Pouring Ketchup Quandary by Jennifer Segui. And look at this paper. She's done graphs. She's done force measurement. She's done it all compares on the opening of the bottle.

Yeah, I was going to say, I love how you've tried to make that relatable to me using ketchup. I'm still lost. No, but this is, her whole thing was on ketchup. Right. And how, yeah, often you'll give it a little squeeze, but more will come out because you've just given it all that energy

and it's still in its purely liquid state. And quicksand. Yeah. Quicksand the same. So if you do fall in quicksand. Are they still teaching this in schools? Don't panic. Don't panic.

Do you make it mass large? Do you go like that? You don't try to escape. I remember that. Do you float on your back or am I thinking of rips? Because you don't fight a rip. No, you don't fight a rip. But you also don't fight quicksand.

How are you going to, like, float to the surface in quicksand? Well, from my experience, you go under, but your hand's the last thing and then just as you're about to sink, another hand pulls you out. You hope. That's everybody's hope or someone tosses you a rope. So today's fact of the day is

tomato sauce comes out of a bottle after a good shake, mostly because it's more liquid because it's a non-Newtonian fluid. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Fleshfawner Megan, the podcast, ZM. Bluff or stuff.

All right, we have a prize up for grabs. Megan? It's an Urban Decay Naked 3 palette. Eyeshadow palette. It's girl stuff. Boys can wear an eyeshadow palette. I know. Just girl stuff.

Natalie, good morning. Hi. Now. Hi. You sound very happy for a Monday, Natalie. Oh, yeah, it's not too bad. Last week of the school holidays, so not long to go. Okay, she's looking forward to getting some everyday

rosy neutrals on her eyes. Yeah, fantastic. How do you know about that? You're not... I just Googled what it's... Yeah. Now, Natalie, you've got to tell us which one of us is correctly holding the box.

If you can do that, you win this Naked 3 eyeshadow. Okay. Did I say that right? Okay, who's starting? Well, Vaughn, you seem to have Googled. Why don't you read out your Google?

I haven't Googled. I'm just reading what's on the box. It's everyday rosy neutrals can create natural eye looks for every skin tone. There's variety. What do you want to know? Okay, here's what I want to know. If you've got the box,

what's in TRIC? I'll tell you. Talc. Calcium. Sodium. Trisylaclid. Calcium. Aluminiumosalicylate, cyprolytrysaclade, calcium, aluminium, borosalicylate. Well, I can tell you... Zinc, cerate. Trick is one of the colours, and it's located in the palette between Buzz and Nuna.

Yeah, because you've Googled. Okay, then what else is in the back? There's a brush with two things on the end. I can tell you that because I'm holding it in my hand. The double-ended brush, yeah. The double-ended blender, the double-ended brush, yeah. The double-ended brush. Strange dust burnout unit buzz trick. Let's not forget that it's palafidly free.

There's no palafilates in there. Okay, then if you're holding the box. It doesn't say that on the box. Where are you reading that? Yes, it does on the side. On the back. I'm a little bit underneath all the ingredients of all the different colours. No, it says Urban Decay, Naked 3.

It says Platholite 3. I'm just running my fingers across the box, Natalie, and it's embossed. You can see from here that it's embossed. Oh, it's so beautiful. It's raised. It's raised. No expense spared on the embossing bill there. Also, the eyeshadow bits on the box are raised,

which you'd feel if you were actually holding it. Natalie, I would like you now to eliminate one of us. Who is definitely not holding the box? Maybe Fletch? You think I'm definitely not holding the box? Yeah, I don't think you're holding the box. Okay, well, I'm out then, aren't I? You're out.

I'm out. All right, so... So Vaughn and myself remaining, who do you think has the eyeshadow palette? Ooh. Little, little... I'll just give you one more thing. It says on the box here that it's cruelty-free,

which is good. I won't wear makeup that... What does it say on the box? It's full of cruelty. It doesn't say it on the box? It's full of cruelty. It doesn't say it on the box. It does, it says it on the box. Right beside where it says falafelate free,

sulfate free, paraben free, cruelty free. It doesn't say that on the box. It doesn't say it on the box. It does, it's underneath the talcum, the thing you blathered about before. Oh, it is too.

Yeah. Oh, you must have Googled the picture on the... I didn't Google the picture on the box. I'm holding it. No, I found it now. She would have seen it if she was holding the box. Is it Vaughn or Megan holding the box? Oh, this is tricky.

I want to say Vaughn, but my heart's going with Megan. Well, you've got to decide. Oh, go Megan. You're saying Megan? Yes. That is incorrect. And I'll tell you what, Natalie, it's not even Vaughn holding the box either.

It was Fletch. Oh, no. Yeah. That hurts, Natalie. I mean, I was telling you. I was saying I was running my finger over the inbox. And you were reading the ingredients. I was reading the ingredients.

I couldn't have done that without the box. Come on. Natalie, I'm so sorry. Oh, Natalie. Natalie. Oh, it's okay. Not a lie. Not a lie.

Yes. Well, Natalie, thanks for playing. Oh, thank you. That means we can put that back in the locked drawer in the producer's studio and bring it back for another game of Bluff or Stuff. As it gets one week closer to that coffee machine that took like 18,000 goes to get away. Are we either terrible liars or really good liars?

We're really good liars. Really good. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Well, as previously mentioned, somebody on the show had an incident with an automated toilet, an automated public toilet. Oh, yeah. Not one of those fancy Japanese bath seats. Have you ever used one of those?

No. You sit down and it's warm. It's warm. And then you can have a little squirty bit. Oh, I don't know about the warmness because that feels like someone went just before you. Yeah, that's weird. I'm not a fan. Yeah.

Well, it's not me. It's not I. It's not I. It's not me. We go now to Executive Intern Anya. Hello. So is this when you push the button and then you go in and it clicks and then it goes. It was like, you have 10 minutes.

And it goes. Wow, that sounds flash. Because the one that I, I used one when I was in New Plymouth and you shut the door because I need to go wheeze real quick. Yeah. You shut the door and then I went wheeze and then I couldn't see a button to flush. And I was like, well, I'm not.

Yeah, it's when you open the door. Yeah, and that's what I figured out. So I opened the door and it went. Yeah. So we had an incident. I'd been doing some shopping in the local village. Yeah. And got quite tired.

Okay. And I'd already had a cup... Okay, Nana. I'd already had a cup of coffee. Okay. You're such a Nana millennial. A cup of tea, do you know? Shopping in the local village.

I'm tired. I've already had my coffee. I sat down and had a cappuccino. So shopping, perusing. Oh, I'm tired. Coffee. Back to perusing. Tired again.

Can't have another coffee because that's just outrageous. I'm blowing my budget. Needed to go to the loo. Popped in. Yep. Got quite comfy. In a public toilet. Not even me.

I'm in and out of those things. It was quite a nice one. It was quite clean. Okay a public toilet? Not even me. I'm in and out of those things. It was quite a nice one. It was quite clean. Okay. And so I'm on my phone. I'm on TikTok. I'm just browsing. You're TikTok-ing in a public toilet?

I'm browsing memes. I'm checking out surfing. Had you put down the toilet paper on the seat to make a toilet cover? No. You're not making TikTok, say. You're watching TikTok. No, you? You're watching TikToks. No, I'm looking for some TikToks. Net, net, net. Net, net, net, net, net, net, net, net, net, net, net, net.

Yeah. Okay. Doing my business as one does. And then I see a sign up on the top left that says, you'll be given a warning a minute before your use time ends. It's like, fantastic. That's enough time to pull up pants. It said 10 minutes when you went in.

You got 10 minutes. Who needs longer than 10 minutes in a public toilet? This guy right here. Because that warning never came. And all of a sudden, as you'll remember, the flush goes when the door opens. So the door opens. You've got a douche.

I get a douche. And it goes on my TikToks. Yeah. Goes on your TikToks? The water had to scream? Yeah. Oh, no. Oh, no.

And then a guy walked past. And I was like, morning. Tips my hat. Right. How are you? And he's like, oh, I got caught short, did you? I was like, morning. Tips my hat. Right. How are you? And he's like, oh, I got caught short, did you? I was like, please leave. So then did you shut the door and get another 10 minutes?

No, it wouldn't leave me. There must be like a 30-second delay time. So I had to hoist up my pants. Wait, so when he walked past, you were still sat down bare-ass? Well, no, I've had a douche at this point. And I'm like, hello. Oh, God. Had have you got the pants i'd hide the knickers yeah and he's like top of the morning yeah he was real cool about it i was

like yeah how you going you should check out this tick tock it's pretty funny um can you not read the room that now's not a good time for a chat like keep walking yeah walking. Yeah, it was not great. It was not great. Yeah, wow. Okay. Did we think the speaker's just disabled or something? The speaker's broken, so it can't give you the warning. I don't know. I loved the jazz music, though. I was nearly gonna what do you call it? Shazam!

I was like, this would be so nice every time I do my business. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Supportive acoustic jazz number. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's I'll make do with my business. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Supportive acoustic jazz number.