ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 13th October 2020

Episode Date: October 12, 2020

The Return of Rollerskating!  The Morning Moo!  Smithee's Biscuit Review  Don't Get Megan Started!  Helen Clark  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaay!  When did Someone Sabotage your Diet?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleets, Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's brought to you by McCafe, by five McCafe coffees, and get one free on the Maccas app. Are we recording? He already did thumbs up. I did, we're all good, we're recording. He's all over it. We're going, we're good.

I didn't know, I didn't know. You're not all over it, you even put your headphones away. We've just interviewed somebody, which we can't say. Oh, yeah, I was going to say, don't say. No, we can't say, we've just interviewed. Now you're one of those dicks on Facebook. I've got something exciting coming up. I've got exciting news.

Oh, my God. Just show me. Not now. I can't believe this has happened to me. Yeah, I wasn't going to. Dot, dot, dot. Stay tuned. I'm in the hospital ward.

Dot, dot, dot. Selfie. Big things coming. I was going to talk about how it's time to refill my mocha jar. My mocha jar. With Matt. Do you want some? No, no, no, no, no.

I've got some at home. But do you ever clean out your jar? No, you probably should. I know it's got a little crusty on the inside. Because when I go to the supermarket, sometimes you know how the jars are cheaper than the packet refills? Sometimes, unless the refills are on special. So I do a self-cleaning jar.

Sometimes I just end up buying a new jar. But these are also great jars. The Mak a self-cleaning jar. Sometimes I just end up buying a new jar. But these are also great jars. The Makona jar is a great jar. Why is it that the... Pebbles, jars, jams, preserves. Oh, okay. Yeah, right. Because it's got a hot seal.

It's got a hard seal on it. Like chutneys. But why are... Aren't the refills supposed to be cheaper for things to encourage you to refill? Well, you'd think so. Yes.

But they're not. But what's the reason for it not being? Don't know. Someone told us once. Don us once. Someone told us why the refills I don't know. If you listen to this podcast I don't know why they don't. Why refills are never cheaper than a brand new jar. Let us know.

Yeah, if you're not in New Zealand, you don't know what we're talking about. The coffee jar is like a 200 gram jar, which would be $20 on special or you can get the refills for like $8 but it's not 200 grams well, like it doesn't matter, but look

it's no, it does matter it does, it's a big issue we're adding a third referendum to the general election this weekend, it's should Nana be able to ice herself should I be able To ice herself Should I be able To ice myself

Yep With weed And Should refills Always be cheaper Than a brand new jar Apps are fucking Loot late

They should be Yes yes yes ZM Head music Lives here Fletch, Fawn and Megan The podcast Welcome to the show

Fletch, Fawn and Megan Two minutes past six Say things Just before we go on air. And then you're like, microphone's on and you don't give us a chance to respond off air. It was a rhetorical question slash statement. It was a lot. It really woke me up at 6am. It was a lot.

Yes, good morning. Good morning. Coming up on the show, the top six. Yeah, today's top six, looking at the top six other New Zealand businesses for the Kardashians to get behind. You may have heard Khloe Kardashian's become an equity partner in a... Dose & Co, the New Zealand collagen company. Collagen company that does nothing.

Collagen does nothing. Doesn't work. Doctors have said as yet nah ah but anyway she's getting some money yeah right

behind that some people swear by it don't they remember we talked to the doctor a couple of weeks ago yeah some people swear by crystals um so the top six

other New Zealand businesses for the other Kardashians to get behind I've pretty much got one for every Kardashian oh okay that's good yeah cause I it feels like they're probably just looking to invest.

Rob? Are you doing Rob? It's Rob. Would I dare leave Rob out? No, I didn't think you would. Of course I wouldn't. He's a valued member of the Kardashian family. Good.

Coming up also, Fletch, how to communicate with your cat. I actually have great communication with my cat. I do a little meow and he always meows back. We talk. I'm like great communication with my cat. I do. I do a little meow and he always meows back. We talk. I'm like, meow. And he's like, meow. Really?

Yeah. Because he stands at the shower and always wants me to turn it on. Because he's fascinated by water. So I'll just walk into the bathroom or if I'm in the bathroom, he'll go and stand at the shower and then meow at me. That's interesting because most cats don't like water. Hate water. I know, yeah. And now what about

when it's dinner time? Do you do the bzzz, bzzz, bzzz, bzzz, bzzz, bzzz? He doesn't need to. He lives in an apartment. He's never far away. He's never far away. He's like literally

always around me. Yeah. True. So you've got some tips or something? I'll tell you how you can, well, I mean, you obviously communicate okay,

but maybe you can try these to communicate better. Right, okay. There's also something making a comeback that we want to talk about on the show soon. And I think, Megan, you're prepared for this comeback. I don't think it's ever gone away for you. Oh, yes. Oh, no, that makes me feel old.

It's gone full circle. This has gone full circle like three or four times. Heads of times, yeah. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. So Fletch has already claimed that he can communicate or you already talk with Major Murray Fluffington. I do, yeah. I just, short little meows, like meow,

and he'll meow back if he's in the mood. So there's been a study that's published in the journal Scientific Reports. Sounds legit. And they have found a way that you can communicate and bond with your cat. You have to look at them. You narrow your eyes, like squint a little bit. And then you give them a slow blink.

Why would you do that? What am I telling the cat when I do that? You're bonding with them, and that's the equivalent of a smile for a cat. That's so stupid. You're just looking at the cat. So you're like, blink, It's so stupid. So you're like, blink. And the cat's like.

So you've got to squint your eyes first. He knows the code. Like squint. Squint. And slow blink. Slow blink. And that's the equivalent of when in Babe the Pig, Babe says to the sheep, Bahram you, Bahram you,

to your flock your bread be true, Bahram you. How do you remember that? What? How do you remember that? How do I remember that? That whole rhyme. I have trotted on every sheep I have met since. How's that for you? Well, I've seen the movie. Bahram you. Oh, is that too loud? Bahram you.

But cats are very simple. If you feed them and give them pats, you'll get them on board. Yeah. So they did try this on a bunch of cats and saw how they reacted. But apparently you need to be about three feet away, a metre away. But do you get down on all fours like you're a big cat? You have to be eyeballing them. Yeah.

Squint and just slow blink. What if... relationship with my cat is mostly like that. I go, get out of it. I can look at one of them and I know he's about to scratch the couch or the curtain. I'll be like, and the cat's like, and then runs away. We seem to have opened the lines of communication of that's not to be scratched. Yeah, right.

And the other one sneaks inside the old one. I think he's losing his mind, but Shado won't let me put him down. Because he's piddling inside. Oh, okay. And not even when he's inside for that long. So it's not like he's been locked inside. Is it cool to put a nappy on a cat?

Yeah. Okay. You have to cut a tail hole every time. Yeah, right. And then the wheeze gets out of the tail hole. Yeah, okay. But when I said shut up and let me put him down, that's not been a serious conversation, but I've rubbed his nose

in it and I feel like that's our conversation of that's not to be done. Yeah. But maybe I need to get down on all fours and give him a slow blink. They'll look at me like, what's this? I'll be like, I know. I know, mate.

Your family walks in on this happening. I'm like, are they like, are you trying to psych out the cat? I'm like, we're bonding. Squint and blink. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Well, from March to May this year, web searches in New Zealand and around the world, the US, UK and Australia,

web searches have skyrocketed to a five-year worldwide high for roller skating. This is TikTok related, isn't it? Is it? Is it? Is it TikTok? Let's bring it back to roller skates. I reckon. Saw some very bougie roller skates at Amazon.

Surf and skate. And I guess the skate never said skateboards. It just said skate. So they can do roller skate or skateboard. Yeah. Yeah, we were at the mountain. We were just walking past. And what, they were in the window?

Bougie roller Rollerskates. Like, really nice rollerskates. So, maybe it is TikTok, but yeah, I mean, I don't know. The Spin-Off have done an article talking in New Zealand about the popularity. And they talk about, like, a lot of learn to skate classes happening. And just the uptake of it, basically. And yeah, that it's... Because I always wanted to go to like

public skating time in rinks and like go for a skate because I got my own skates, but no one wants to go because everyone sucks at it. Brings back memories of like the 70s roller disco. Not that I ever went to a 70s roller disco.

I wasn't even alive in the 70s. Yeah, we went to roller discos when I was younger. I remember there was a place in Hamilton at the end of Victoria Street and I want to say Mercury Theatre, but it used to be a roller skating rink. Yeah. And they used to play disco music and people would fall on the ground and hurt themselves really badly and break their wrists.

And you could go up to the DJ and request a song for your crush. Well, you were ahead of your time because you did the roller derby. Yeah, see, my skates are flash though, like they're low to the ground and stuff so you can do tricks and like... Yeah, you can skate up really fast behind another woman and just

crotch check her. Boom. Right enough. We called that something different, which is not appropriate for radio. That's why I said crush check I thought of a more appropriate phrase That was really something to witness Roller derby That was a tumultuous time

Did you ever come to a game? In Megan's life I did Remember that one at the YMCA I came along You literally lived over the road That's good stuff This is the least amount of effort

I could put on It's because I watched Whip It And I was like I want to do that. I want to wear like fishnets and roller skate and look real badass. But then I only lasted like a year or two because it hurts. And people really like body check you. Slam.

Yeah. Take some guts. So this roller skating, is it roller derby or is it general? No, it's actually skating and most of it is from, yeah, because of TikTok and a lot of TikTok videos over lockdown. Are pavements up to scratch? Because when I used to rollerblade in the 90s, briefly, because we lived rurally, so, of course,

our only option for rollerblading was at the cow shed because it was the only part of the whole farm that was concreted, was to either take them to school and go on the tennis court, but it was a rough asphalt tennis court at Morrison Automedia, and you'd wreck yourself. Yeah, that's the thing. You have a romantic idea of, like, skating along, like, Tarmachy Drive and Waterfront in Auckland,

but there's, like, stones and tree bits, and you'll just end up on your butt. Right, I think they call them roots, Megan. That's the... I would have thought that would have been the smoothest concrete in Auckland though. Yeah, but there's too much stuff. It's not swept and you'll end up on your face.

Have you considered taking a broom? I can't do that. Like in curling. Someone's in front of you sweeping really quickly to clear your butt. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The Podcast. ZM. From the ZM clickbait room,

this is the top six. Hello there. Today's top six are Khloe Kardashian has become an equity partner in a New Zealand collagen company called Dos & Co. Dos & Co. No, it's one word. Dos & Co. Dos & Co.

No, it's one word. Dos & Co. Dos & Co. Dos & Co. Dos & Co. Yeah, she's like, I'll do it. Apparently bonded with the owner over babies. They both had babies.

Right. Man, if that's all it takes, I've got two. I could bond with the one that's got two. She can invest in your garden and your goats if she wants. What's your business? Nothing.

Just wanted to bond, you know. Just wanted a celebrity free experience. Okay. But yeah, there was bonding and then there was business,

the two Bs and then there was a deal, which is a D, not a B. We've talked about collagen on the show before. People are shoveling it in their mouths. Oh, my God.

They're absolutely hoovering it up like Coke. It's going to be a billion-dollar industry in years to come. Isn't that already? Already, but yeah, hundreds of billions. Scientifically... Well, the jury's out, isn't it? Yeah, it has not been proven to do anything. So I've got the top six other New Zealand businesses

for the other Kardashians to get behind. Because this seems to be, if it's a New Zealand business they want, we'll have them. Didn't one of them get into like skincare or candles or something ages ago? New Zealand ones? Yeah. Like back in the day? I can't remember.

Maybe. You're not talking about Kylie Jenner and her waist trainer? No. What? Not about that. That's another one. That was she endorsed the New Zealand business, eh?

Yeah. That's right. Yeah. So number six on the top six other New Zealand businesses for the other Kardashians to get behind

is Rob Kardashian relaunching the Warnox men's clothing stores. Or Warnox. Warnox. No clothing stores. Or Warnox. Warnox. It had a little owl as a logo and it sold all your men's school uniforms. And remember walking shorts?

Remember when men used to wear a grey walking short with a pulled up sock? Think of your maths teacher in the 90s. Oh yeah, science teacher. Yeah, science teacher. Any basic teacher that wasn't an arts or an English teacher. Those, that's where they got it from. Warnox.

They used to have a radio jingle as well, as I recall. Warnox. Interesting. Number five on the list of the top six other businesses for the other Kardashians to get behind. Kris, Mama Kris, who's technically a Jenna, but there was that episode where she talked about being a Kardashian again.

She could, Chris could get behind the National Bank. Oh, yeah, okay. Relaunch the National Bank. Remember National Bank? With or without the horse? With the horse. Okay. Maybe a new horse.

Maybe a zebra. Oh, okay. Which is not a horse, which you may have just learned, as I said. Yes, it does. Number four on the list of the top six other New Zealand businesses for the other Kardashians to get behind. And Courtney, who has a family, could invest in the Crisco Christmas hamper.

Courtney's Crisco Christmas hampers. Brilliant. Does Crisco have to change to a K? No, because then you'd be running a real risk of having KKK in the title, and that's something you not want to do. No. That's to be avoided. Number three on the list of the top six other businesses

for the Kardashians to get behind. It could be the relaunch of Kiwi Air as it becomes Kendall's Kiwi Air. But again, we're at two Ks there, and that's the maximum amount of Ks you can have in a row. So it can't be, and she's a Jenner as well. Yeah. So it would be KJK Air, not KKK Air. Again, to be avoided at all costs.

Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six other businesses, New Zealand businesses, the Kardashians could get behind. Could we be seeing the animatronic fruit back on the high shelves as Kylie gets behind Big Fresh. RIP Big Fresh. Yeah, RIP Big Fresh indeed. But Kylie, if anybody could bring her back, it would be Kylie Jenner.

And number one on the list of the top six other New Zealand businesses for the Kardashians to get behind, Kim would like to relaunch Dekka. The department store? Yeah. Decker. It's the saddest thing about the Huntley bypass now. You don't see the sign anymore.

You don't see the sign anymore. Or the top twins mural. Or that rugby league mural of all the rugby league players. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, well. Oh, well. Save yourself 20 minutes journey each time.

Sounds good to me. Avoid the honey bottleneck. Hooray. That's today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. The Haunting of Hill House. Everyone loved that.

I never watched it because I know my limits. That was good. That was good. I don't like anything scowey. I never watched it. I'm well aware of my limits. Everyone said it was scowey.

What did you watch and you couldn't sleep? The Sinner. The Sinner you watched I never watched it. I'm well aware of my limits. Everyone said it was scowey. What did you watch and you couldn't sleep? The Sinner. The Sinner you watched, was it Get Out? Like nightmares. Was it Get Out or one of the other? Oh, Get Out was good. That was a good movie. No, the one with us.

The one with the scissors. That's right, the scissors. Oh, I just forgot about that. And now it's back. The people in the orange jumpsuits with the scissors. Jordan Peele? Yeah. Yeah.

Great movie though. So there's a new one, Haunting of Bly Manor. Now, it's been touted as like, oh, okay, anthology sequel. So it's not the same characters. It's not the same house, but it's another story of a haunting. So it's within the parameters to call it a sequel. But how shit would you feel if you were the people

in the first season and you're like, guys, we've got a great Netflix show. Everyone loves it. I can feel we've got more work coming for season two. But none of you are in it.

Nah, thanks for your time. Really appreciate it. But did it wrap up? Did it feel like the end? Yeah. Okay. Well, then they're not under any illusion it's carrying on. Well, I won't say what happens, but yeah, you definitely got the feeling.

Well, actually, no, because it was set in the 80s, the first one. So it could have had some continuation with what happened to the family afterwards. But I feel like it was enough to leave it as it was. Yeah. Well, The Haunting of Bly Manor is the latest one to leave it as it was. Yeah. Yeah. Well, The Haunting of Bly Manor is the latest one and it's got quite good reviews. Everyone's raving about it. But there is a character or an actor, should I say, in there and everyone's like, what's

that voice? Where do I know that voice from? It turns out she is a creepy little kid in the TV show, but she is also Peppa Pig. Now, I'm not having real, I mean, I know of Peppa Pig. So she's, but you're being, being a dad. I love Peppa Pig. You would have been like inundated.

Oh yeah, we still get it. We still get a little bit of Peppa Pig every now and then. There'll be a delve into the universe of Peppa Pig. But this, this girl is bit of Peppa Pig every now and then. There'll be a delve into the universe of Peppa Pig. But this girl is the fourth Peppa Pig. They've all had similar voices in the fact that it's quite a gravelly voice for a kid. A little. All four of them. So the one that did it previously, the third Peppa Pig,

she only just retired earlier this year at the age of 18. So she got to, she did it for the longest. She was still doing it when she was 18. Yeah, yeah. She started when she was a kid and she went through until she was 18. But this is the new nine-year-old Amelia B. Smith, who is also in The Haunting of

Bly Manor. There's just one more. Come on, George. Follow me. So that's Peppa Pig. Yeah me. So that's Peppa Pig. Yeah. That's her as Peppa Pig. Yeah. But then she's also in the Haunting of Bly Manor.

Yes. So this is... There's just one more. Come on, George. Follow me. That's the theme song with Peppa Pig. That's not actual dialogue from The Haunting of Bly Manor, which doesn't sound...

I'm sorry I was scared before. That was very rude of me. But I thought I'd give you a story. You poor boy. That's haunting with Peppa Pig music. That's haunting. But she sounds the same. But it's

weaning people out because they've watched it and then they're like, where's that voice from? And then they've found out. It is quite a creepy child's voice in a horror setting but then in the Peppa Pig setting it's just Peppa Pig. A slightly irritating five year old know-it-all pig. Sorry if we've ruined that for you before you started.

I love jumping in muddy puddles. Yeah, that's on my what to watch list. You're fine. You've never seen Peppa Pig. So that's not in the back of your head. You know, it gets to the bottom of a show and it'll be like, you watched blah, blah, blah. You watched Peppa Pig.

So you might also enjoy Haunting of Bly Manor. And you'll be like, the kids will be like, well, that's got the girl watched Peppa Pig, so you might also enjoy Haunting of Bly Manor. And you'll be like, the kids will be like, well, that's got the girl from Peppa Pig in it. I'll give it a watch. That's probably to be avoided. Yeah. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM.

The Morning Moo. Yes. It's rural New Zealand's favourite radio segment. Yeah. Except they hear moo and cows all the time, so probably not really. Maybe it's urban New Zealand's favourite radio segment. Yeah, I tell you what. Maybe it's New Zealand on a whole's favourite radio segment.

The city slickers love it, hearing a cow, the morning moo. Love hearing a cow moo. Actually met some people, didn't we, at the Tauranga Bangers Bingo. Yeah. They said they're dairy farmers and they've frantically tried to get through for the morning mood. That's how popular it is.

It's very hard to get through for the morning mood. It's as popular as rural New Zealand as country calendar. I've said it. Kuru, good morning. How's it going, boys? Good, mate. So North Canterbury. How's it going, Megan?

You didn't see his sassy eye roll when you said morning, boys. I think he felt it. That's why he interjected with a quick morning, Megan. Morning. Whereabouts in North Canterbury are you farming? Parnassus. Oh, okay. Sounds flamboyant.

You're a vocal cow? Yeah, if you blink, you'll miss it. Same thing, gas station. How many and what are you milking down there? We've got 2,000. 2,000? You just said you blink and you miss it. Chant Vale and Dairy Farms blow my mind. I grew up on a quite, like we had 140.

And as a kid, that was like a decent sized dairy farm. But then dairy got massive. 2,000, holy moly. I don't feel like you'd blink and miss it. How long does dairy got massive. 2,000. Holy moly. I don't feel like you'd blink and miss it. How long does it take to do 2,000? Oh, well,

we've been going since, I've been up since four. The boys have been in the shed since bloody half past four and they weren't getting up till bloody nine o'clock. No way.

What is it, a big rotary cow shed? They walk in, cups go on, they do the big turn then they walk out. Yeah, that's why. I'm a big 80 b then they walk out. Yeah, that's the one. Big 80 bale.

It's got all the bloody bells and whistles. Oh, yep. I'm aroused. I'm aroused right now. And what kind of cows are they? They're a mix. They're all a big mix. Just Kiwi cross, Friesian and Jersey cross.

Good on you, mate. I don't know what any of this means. Are they black and white? Let's see. Black and white's the Friesian, but it's mixed with the jersey, which is the golden ones. Oh, okay. So they mix up.

Multi. You get the milk production from one, and yeah, good stuff. Do you reckon you can get a move for us? All right, give me a second. I'll open the gateway. I'll open the gateway. All right.

And they all start going. 2,000. I might have to talk to them a bit but okay yeah you talk to them idiot no you might sound like an idiot we love when they talk to cows i talk to my cows a lot come on girls come on come on you can hear them walking we're gonna get a move come on come on come on come on. We're going to get a moo? Come on. Come on, Giz. Come on, Giz. Give us a little some. Try. Do a little.

You can try. Could you try? Puss, puss, puss, puss. Because that works with the cats. Come on, Giz. Moo at them, Kuru. Moo at them and they might move out. Oh, no.

Here we are, no. Too well-fed. Oh, Kudu. I was so excited to hear a morning moo. I was going to hear them walking, but I couldn't. Too well-fed. You're treating them too well. They've got nothing to complain about. Hey, Kudu, lovely to talk to you.

Thanks anyway for playing the morning moo. We go now to Ben in the Hawke's Bay. Good morning, Ben. Hello, how are you? The pressure's on, Ben, because it's the morning moo and we haven't heard a moo yet. Woo! All right.

All right, let's see if we can get a moo from your cows. Okay, I'll just... I've got a bit of a helper here that's going to help me. Is that all right? Yeah, that's see if we can get a move from your cows. Okay, I'll just... I've got a bit of a helper here that's going to help me. Is that alright? Yeah, that's alright. Yeah, okay. Go girls! Let's go girls!

I'll find our friend. Let's go girls is the Shania Twain way to start the cows moving. Number 70. Number 70. Number 70. Yay! It was a bit of a moo there. Bit of a moo. It was a bit of a moo.

Bit of a moo. That's what I feel like at this time of day too. It's hard to get a moo out. You're more of a moo. Oh, brilliant. Ben and Halper, thank you.

Let's go to Lauren now in the Waikato. Good morning, Lauren. Good morning. Welcome to the morning moo. The home Halper, thank you. Let's go to Lauren now in the Waikato. Good morning, Lauren. Good morning. Welcome to the morning moon. The home of dairy in New Zealand. Yeah, I thought Vaughan would be pleased. Yeah, very pleased.

What part of the Waikato are you in? Up near Taupiri, Oreeni Way. Oh, okay. Lovely spot. Beautiful. The flat's there heading towards the... Now, Lauren, we've had one moo out of two. Let's see if we can make it two out of three.

All right. I'm sort of cheating with calves, but I figured they would do this. Oh, yeah. Calves are vocal. They'll be ready for some milk. All right. Hang on. Come here, girl.

Come here. There was a little one. Come here. There you go. Come here. Come here. Oh, come on. I look at this thing all the time, and I'm like,

it'll happen to me one day. I'll get on it. I kind of like it when it doesn't happen. It's way better. We need to use a submitted segment where they'll just video themselves so that there's no pressure of the live radio. Did you hear that one? Oh, no, I was talking.

Sorry. All right. Come here. Nah. Come here. You can give me some snuffle, maybe. Yeah, I can hear a bit of a snuffle there. Yeah, they're all, like, surrounding me.

Man, this is embarrassing. But none of them are giving you the old meh. Oh, I haven't got the milk out yet. I sort of ran out of the cow shed because our jerseys are real flat. Right. Okay. All right. No, we're not doing anything.

Sorry, man. What if you give them a moo? They might moo back. Okay. Meh. Are they sheep or cows? They're calves. That's the calf noise.

Oh, right. Meh. Meh. Call them sookies. I don't know why. We always call our calves sookies. Oh, I think I heard a little one there. Yay! Oh, brilliant.

Thanks, Lauren. Brilliant. That's two from three this morning for the morning news. Feels pretty good. I think this segment lives to see another week. Oh, he gets so jealous of it. Radio stations overseas would just laugh at this. Like, what are they doing?

People don't like that, do they? No, they don't. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Apology time. Okay. This goes to Megan. Thank you. This goes to Megan. Thank you. This goes to my father.

Same subject. Same apology. What could the apology be that Megan shares with my father? I knew Ian was a great man. Various other people and a large international club collective syndicate thing. Organisation. Organisation. I went through the synonyms.

Yeah. What I was looking for was organization. Yesterday we received a package. I don't know why Countdown sent it. Are they the only people stocking it? Maybe. Maybe, yeah. And in the package was

Girl Guide biscuits. Now, both original and the ones with chocolate on one side, but no minis. Girl Guide biscuits Now Both original And the ones with chocolate On one side But no minis Now This was a shock Because hold up

Hold up In 2018 They came out And said that's it We're not doing them anymore Yeah And I was like Attention seeking

Yeah It's like the girl You went to high school with It's like Oh my god I'm not going to do Any good in the exams You knew they were going to.

Yeah. They just wanted to tell you about it. And I thought it was one of those ones where then there'd be the groundswell movement and then they would be like, thanks to your passion for our biscuit, we're back. Two days after we said we weren't going to be. But it's been two years. Yeah. And I didn't like.

Do you think they were like, oh, it's really hard to get money? These badges don't pay for themselves. But it was during that chat when they went away, wasn't it? I said no great loss. I mean, it sucks because I know it's fundraising for the Girl Guides. It's pretty cool. It's a great little organisation. I didn't mean to say little in a condescending way.

It's a great big international organisation that empowers young females and teaches, you know, some really cool life skills. And I said, no great loss on the biscuit front. Yeah. Because when I was a kid, these were always in our house. My dad would buy enough when the Girl Guide biscuit selling was happening. He'd chuck some in the freezer and he'd have Girl Guides for the whole year. Biscuits in the freezer?

And then weds, well, yeah, they'd keep longer in the freezer. Rural things. Don't they keep for ages just in their pack? Yeah, yeah, yeah, if you keep them in tight, but I don't know. He wasn't wasting any biscuits. So I always remember saying, can we get some biscuits? And mum would say, we don't need any biscuits because there's lots of biscuits at home, but these were the biscuits.

So I always felt, these were the pre-chocolate covered days, I always felt I was being done out of a biscuit. I thought I was being done out of a Mallow Puff. I don't think my mum would have ever bought us Mallow Puffs. No. But any chocolatey biscuit. But they're like super wines, aren't they? Yeah.

They're very, they're just plain. So when these came yesterday, I was like, oh yeah, I'll take a packet, because my girl's like a plainer biscuit. Did you take Sam's chocolate? No, I was like, oh yeah, I'll take a packet because my girl's like a plainer biscuit. Did you take sans chocolate? No, I took chocolate covered. Okay. So this is not quite the original, but then I got home and I was having a cup

of coffee and they were sitting there on the bench and I thought, I'm not too big a man to go against my predetermined thoughts and ideals. The reason this is a big deal is because you are so stubborn. So stubborn, like Irish stubborn. My family's roots predominantly Irish and we're all very stubborn and we enjoy a drink.

We can't get you to try anything that you've decided you don't like if I've decided I don't like something I don't like it but anyway these were sitting there

so I popped them open and I had one and goodness me it hit the spot and that was when I was like my tastes have changed you need to apologise

I no longer resent the biscuit for being plain when I wanted a chocolate chip biscuit yeah as a child you know

it's time to swallow my pride and admit I've been wrong about the Girl Guide biscuit for all these years and I don't think it's just the chocolate that sold me

I think I just I think it is tastes have changed it's not the same and I like a plainer biscuit because I love a shortbread yeah there is

it's I see you like it you only eat it if it's dunked in chocolate as well, Fletch. But the biscuit is like milky sweet, soft. It's not a squiggle is my problem. I've always sung the phrases of a Girl Guide biscuit. If the Girl

Guides did squiggles, I'd buy a box of them. Girl Guide squiggles. I'd be like, take my money. Well, yeah, and $1 per pack donated to Girl Guide in New Zealand, apparently. That's good. I was sending them for free and I ate it and I was like, well, no, and $1 per pack donated to Girl Guide of New Zealand, apparently. Well, that's good. So I was sending them for free and I ate it and I was like, well, that's nice, knowing

that I've done nothing and I've got no money. I was going to say, like, don't make out you've done charity. Like, that was sent to you for free. No, he wants a medal because he said he's sorry. And I admitted one thing that I thought is no longer what I think. Hello? No one does that in 2020. Are you aware of how rare this is

in the modern age for a white guy to be like, hey, that thing I've been saying has been wrong. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM.

I'm all started. I'm all started. Get started. Don't get flesh started. Ha! Don't get flesh started in here. Don't get flesh started. Ha! Don't get flesh started in here. Megan Megan Megan Megan Well normally you guys would wind it

It would be easier if your name was Meg That's taken And then I just get shut up Meg all the time Yeah yeah I wouldn't dare say that to you Shut up Megan Well normally in this segment, it's Megan wound up. But it's actually something you do that is winding me up.

Does Vaughn do this too? No. No. Well, not that I've witnessed, ever. You did it the other day when you ordered for us. And I was like, what did you do that for? Did you do it on behalf of him? He did it on my behalf. He dragged me into his

Don't do that. His mucky systematic wastefulness. Don't do that. So Fletch likes to enjoy coffee or a moccaccino when we're out. Can you not say it like I'm a second class citizen? With like 50 marshmallows on the side.

As long as it helps itself. Sometimes when you don't get a free marshmallow or chocolate fish, I'm like, that's quite rude. What about a Jaffa? Nah. It rolls around in the saucer. No. Jaffa can't go in the coffee. That's simony-ish. Right. But you order, when we are having here at any

establishment, you order your coffee in a takeaway cup. And it drives me crazy. Are you trying to get me cancelled? I'm putting it out there. You're not going to say that I choke dolphins next. Give me Greta Thunberg on the phone and give me what you're talking to. Because I've tried to talk you out of this.

Even if it's, so here's my problem as well. Even if it's the compostable cups, so many of those just end up in landfill anyway. I don't think you can recycle. I don't always do this. Can you recycle? I'll do it if there's a chance. I'm not going to finish it all in the cafe. That's rubbish.

It's better in a takeaway cup. You don't know the establishment's cup. Sometimes it's a big, like a friend. Most of them are on show. You can see other people drinking them. Get your own keep cup then. Okay, that's an option, but I did have one that got mouldy on the top. You're supposed to clean it.

Yeah, too hard. You are so thick. Sometimes you get a big, giant, wide cup, and I don't like big, giant, wide cups. And the coffee goes colder quicker. Take your own cup. I didn't have my cup at that stage. You hoover down moccacinos like a kid on a fluffy.

I don't think there's any worry about it getting too cold. And how is a ceramic cup not keeping it as hot as a paper cup? I don't like those big cups, and sometimes my finger doesn't fit in the hole properly. You just grab the cup. You don't need to put your finger in it. But sometimes it's too wide, and then it spills. I don't like some cafe cups.

I'm just going to go and say it. Give me a mug. You can ask for a mug. Well, some of them don't have mugs. Oh, my gosh. I'm not alone. I know other people that will always do takeaway. It drives me crazy.

And if they're dining in. It drives me crazy. But why?'re dining in. It drives me crazy. It drives you crazy because you have to pay 20 cents for a cup. It's not so much the paying. It's just wasteful. It's so wasteful. Just have it in. You're staying there.

Have it in a ceramic cup. Yeah. I'm just saying, unless you live up a tree and you craft your own shoes out of flax, then you can't have a go at another human. Every bit counts. We're past the point of returning. Have you not seen the thing? It's not about being 100% perfect. It's about

everybody doing their bit. Get a keep cup dolphin killer. See, it's already started me. People are starting to cancel me. Good. I've found some very sexy keep cups online. Someone just messaged in. There's different sizes, shapes. You can get one exactly to your preference.

And you know what? It keeps them so warm. Okay. They do have those nice pottery ones over the road, which I quite like. Because I'm not a fan of the rubber lids either. He's never going to get a keep cup. There's a Littleton pottery made here in New Zealand.

In Littleton? Right here in Littleton. You know what I think of Littleton pottery made here in New Zealand. In Littleton? Right here in Littleton. You know what I think of Littleton? Russian lesbian sailors. No, it's very beautiful. Me too. I had no idea there were... I happen to think beautiful and Russian lesbian sailors.

Are there lots of Russian lesbians in Littleton? So the story goes. Okay, fantastic. All right, well, I'll get a keep cup. You're not getting a keep cup. You're just saying it for the radio. You should have been called out. Now you need to get a keep cup and prove you got a keep cup. Absolutely. Shots fired.

But I'm not alone. So you run a cafe. You run a cafe. How many people do this? Dine in but get takeaway cups? So many people. And everyone who does it apologises and is like, I know, I'm that person. It's like, well don't be that person. Stop being that person. You know you're that person. Go about being not that person. Maybe you should get better cups.

They're new cups. So many people are saying they do the same though. You can have it in a mug. You can have it in any cup you like. But that's the problem. Do you think when you go to a cafe you need more of a mug style cup for your coffee

rather than a stupid little tea? Take a mug from work. See, I would actually do that. I would do that. We've got a mug that looks pretty much exactly like that. You can ask for it. Do you reckon I'd get more? No, because there's a certain amount of coffee that comes out.

So I'm taking my own cup. Will they give me more? Because, I don't know, I more? Because I don't know. I deserve it. I don't know if I'm an environmental warrior or what. I might have failed a low poll. Oh my God. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

We're at the elections on Saturday. And of course, we've got two referendums to vote in. One of them is the legalising marijuana referendum. And we've got Helen Clark, former Prime Minister, on the show with us after 8 o'clock this morning. And she's been doing a lot of work after of course she was the Prime Minister, working for the World Health

Organisation and still in that role in some regards with the World Health Organisation. We're going to chat to her about the referendum after 8 o'clock. So if you haven't voted yet, you're still deciding, yeah, she could help you with some points. Some facts. Yeah, she could help you with some points.

Some facts. Yeah, because she's very, very cloned up on it. Yeah. So a study has come out of the US about the age of drivers and the amount of crashes they have per 100 licensed drivers of that age. Okay. Of that age bracket. And it's not old people who actually have less drivers,

less accidents, sorry. Right. They also have less drivers, so that's why they've done a percentage. Because actually it's gone, they've got less drivers than other age groups, but there's actually more people driving just due to the fact that people are living longer,

living healthier lives, remaining independent for longer. There are people over 75 more driving now than ever before wow okay yeah and that's just likely to continue

along that way but they are not involved in the most fatal accidents I mean they've probably got a lifetime of experience but also

I'm thinking of my nana she does terrible things really slowly so it's easier to avoid. Yeah. Goes round the roundabout the wrong way, but really slowly. So just crawl through the stop.

But I'm only doing 20. Is she still driving? I don't think so, no. She's packed it in. How often do you have to get tested when you get, like, old, old? Five years? Marlene just got a new car.

My nan just got a new car. How old's Marlene? Well, you wouldn't ask a lady. I think the maths, I'm 86, 87. Have you been in the car with her Ford? Have you been in the car with her driving? Not for ages. Should she be?

Very competent. Right, okay. Very competent. Oh, wow. She passed the eye test and everything. She's still on the competent. Right, okay. Very competent. Oh, wow. She passed the eye test and everything. She's still on the road. But it's actually the age group most to blame for driving is the 35 to 54 age group. Oh, okay. Which it says is middle age, which I found very confronting because I'm in that bracket.

That felt like a slap. I won't lie to you. I didn't like that at all because in my mind, baby boomers are middle-aged. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it's like, you know, when the internet first came along and you were in that first drop-down age bracket.

Yeah. And then you go to the next one. Yeah. And then the next one. Yeah. The good news is- You're in that next one. At the gym, I've got the chart on the wall and the older you get, the less work you have

to do because your heart doesn't have to work as hard. I love that chart. I love that. It's like when you're 18, you've really got to be humming to be burning fat. But when you're like 70, it's just chill and you're burning fat. Yeah. That's got to be good, right?

That's something to look forward to. Sure. Look and fly for the honeys at the septarian parties you'll be going to. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Engagement season, like tomato season. Or pollen season. Rugby season.

Rugby season. Yep. Tuscan seasoning. Duck shooting season. Duck shooting season, yep. My first wedding I got engaged yesterday. It didn't turn out as planned. State to be avoided, maybe.

But there's been a little bit of a survey because it is engagement season. And one thing that I found very, what kind of, what partners want. Yep. So there's like 72% said they wanted an ethically sourced diamond, but then also said probably just bigger.

Right. Okay. Yeah, I'd like it totally ethically sourced as long as it's still big. Would you rather have a small ethically sourced diamond or- She's going to say small ethically sourced. Who is going to go in there and be like, yeah, peel it from the bloody hands of a diamond miner who's been treated basically like a slave? Mine is ethically sourced.

But I guess size is on whatever you're into. Mine's the perfect size for me. Yeah, you don't want anything too big. As you've previously heard, I use takeaway coffee cups. I'd be totally okay with an unethically sourced giant diamond. You wouldn't because you'd have to pay for it. You want quality over size because then it sparkles. If you get a massive one that's bad quality,

it looks like it's from like the dollar shop. Yeah, it looks like a cubic zirconia. So there was like also a question about how much should be spent on the ring. And the majority of Kiwi women thought their partner should spend about $5,000. Okay. Why did you just look through that face? From my eye, flinched that I did not spend that much. They should spend whatever they are comfortable with.

Yeah. You can get another one. Get it altered later on in life when maybe you're a bit more financially sound. I mean, we're not married, we've just bought a house, had to pay for a wedding,

like it wasn't a time to blow, like... And you're about to join finances, you don't want to like bankrupt your partner. Yeah, and she'll probably make it up about shopping and decubering a decade to come. I mean, that's not aimed at

anybody's specifics, but it happens. Right. So what was the most interesting bit? I found it interesting that it was pretty split about the father-in-law-to-be's blessing. Like, asking if you're going to propose, in my situation, when I

proposed, I asked Sade's dad a week beforehand. So, like, giving him not much time if he said no, that it was going to happen anyway. And 46% said they wouldn't want their partner to ask permission to marry them. But 54% said that they still believe in this classic tradition. So it was quite split. Yeah, that's very split. Oh, wow. I thought it was still a big thing.

Yeah, I thought it was much more of a thing than it is. When did Mr. Toyboy ask your dad? I think he asked him maybe a month before. Right. Because he was going to do it at a different time and then it ended up being when we went on holiday. But I remember after the fact, my parents ringing up off of me like,

anything to report? Any news? Oh, wait, before he proposed? Yeah. I was like, no, why? my parents ringing up offer me like anything to report any news oh wait before he proposed yeah I was like no why oh my god

that was my biggest worry about telling Shardae's dad too I only gave him a week because I was like I'll make sure I intercept any communications for a week because he's terrible at that too

but well I thought your parents are bad but nah because there's the thought of the fact that the dad doesn't own the daughter, so why should you have to ask permission?

It's not the middle-aged man anymore. It does seem... I get that. Yeah. But there is also something... I don't know. I just felt like it was a... The right thing to do.

A time-honoured tradition that I would... If they don't have a close relationship with their dad, maybe not. Like, whatever. Read the situation as an independent situation. But if they're really close with their dad, it's one of those things that a dad will super appreciate. Yeah. I better be asked.

Shit. You've never seen a drunk. I would not want to ask you. A drunker father of the bride at a wedding if I'm not asked. But I'd like to know this morning, rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. I'd rather ask you. We raised a crazy one. Yeah. What about in same-sex relationships? Do you still ask? I don't know, actually. I guess if you're asking the other person to marry you, if you are going to ask, it's you that asks, right?

Yeah. Because you're the asker. Yeah. So it's on you to ask. Okay. That's a terrifying thing. 0800-DARLS-AT-M 9696. What happened when you asked Dad for permission

and maybe it was you were in this situation and your partner had to ask your dad and maybe it didn't go well? Because that's all. We want to hear when it went bad, right? Oh, yeah. I mean, we were all like, oh, you would love to hear all the stories.

We want to hear the bad ones. Or even the parents that ruined it. Yeah. It's a lot of trust. even the parents that ruined it. Yeah. It's a lot of trust. They're finding out before you. Yeah, maybe you didn't ask the dad because the dude couldn't keep his mouth shut. Or maybe you asked the dad, he told the mum, the mum. Yeah.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Talking about when maybe your father was asked for your hand in marriage and how that went. Or maybe you could ring up and tell us your first-hand experience of approaching your father-in-law to be. This is a new study, Kiwi Woman. About half expect dad to be asked. Yeah.

Which is quite surprising. Yeah. So I just sort of thought that that's quite old-fashioned. But I would have still thought it would have been more. Yeah, I thought it would have been more too. Yeah. Otherwise it would have been about 60, you know. Right, Elizabeth, what happened when your partner asked, Dad?

My husband and my dad, they went fishing. And Jeff was being real weird on the boat, apparently. And he went and put his life jacket on and stood away from Dad. Was he expecting to be thrown overboard? Yeah, he really did think. Wow. But he did it. And Dad's given him shit forever about how he was all nervous.

Yeah. And then they got back from fishing, and Dad walks in and goes, I hear you're getting married, Elizabeth. Oh, Dad! Oh, my God Oh, my God. I was stoked. I'd been waiting a while because I knew I was, but I didn't know when.

When, yeah. Because I picked the ring very much so. Jeff's not allowed to pick anything. Great. Poor old bloody Jeff. He puts his life jacket on. No wonder he's scared of your dad. You freak him out too.

Poor old Jeff. All right, Elizabeth, thanks for your call. Some text messages. My second husband asked your dad, you freak him out too. Poor old Jeff. Alright, Elizabeth, thanks for your call. Some text messages. My second husband asked my dad and my dad said, fine, just don't bring her back like the last one. I've got a no returns policy now. I think my dad said something similar. So many dads have said this. So many of the text messages

are like, yeah, but mate, what you take, you can't bring back. Are you sure the first one ran away? Yeah. Kate, how did dad go? Oh, mate, it was one ran away? Yeah. Kate, how did Dad go? Oh, mate, it was one hell of a ride. Okay. So, to start with, if we go right back to the beginning when

we first met, I told him to bugger off. And about six years later, we started dating. Okay. And then, a few months later, he rings up my dad to get dad's blessing. Yeah.

And my parents thought he was Kelly Marketer. So Marketer's on the phone going, yes, I know your name's Tom, but who are you? What do you want? What are you trying to sell? And dad's in the background going,

tell him to start off. It's bloody dinner. They always ring during dinner. He thinks you called Kate Kelly. How did it go with Dad when he was asked? Well, I've been married twice, so my second husband asked him, and Dad said, yep,

don't bring her back like the last one did. This is very common with that. The Dad's been asked a second time around. Yep. Yeah. But he said yes, he was all good? He did, although my husband said they were stacking firewood at the time and apparently Dad started throwing the logs a little bit harder.

He's about paying for another wedding. Oh, that's not personal. It's not about him. At least Dad didn't say, I'm not paying for this one. True. Hey, thanks for your call, Kelly. Some text messages. I asked my missus' dad and he said yes

and we had a big hug. And then my partner's homophobic auntie saw us hugging and goes around telling everyone we were hugging and likely to be sleeping with each other. What? And how disgusting we were. Oh my God. So that kind of tarnished it because then we had to explain why we were hugging.

I asked my now wife's father, we work together in forestry. Quite scary to ask a man when he's sitting next to a chainsaw that he's had for a long time and he can start very easily and has cut down many trees with. My husband asked my dad if it was okay if he married me and my dad said, wow, are you sure? Do you know what you're getting yourself into? That seems to be quite a common one as well. Other dad said, are you absolutely sure you want to do this?

Do you know how old she is? She hasn't been lying about that, has she? Because I'm seven years older than my husband. Are you okay with that age gap? That's going to be a problem? Because when she's your problem, she's your problem. Wow. How great is it to hear dads talking about their lovely little princesses in such a light?

Flesh, Fawn and Megan. The Podcast. ZM. How did it go with dad when he was asked? Well, I've been married twice. So my second husband asked him and I said, yep, I'll bring her back like the last one did. This is very common with that. The dad's been asked the second time around.

Yep. Yeah. But he said yes, he was all good? He did, although my husband said they were stacking firewood at the time, and apparently dad started throwing the logs a little bit harder. He's about paying for another wedding. Oh, that's not personal. It's not about him.

At least Dad didn't say, I'm not paying for this one. True. Hey, thanks for your call, Kelly. Some text messages. I asked my missus' dad and he said yes and we had a big hug. And then my partner's homophobic auntie saw us hugging and goes around telling everyone we were hugging and likely to be sleeping with each other.

What? And how disgusting we were. Oh, my God. So that kind of tarnished it because then we had to explain why we were hugging. Wow. I asked my now wife's father, we work together in forestry.

Quite scary to ask a man when he's sitting next to a chainsaw that he's had for a long time and he can start very easily and has cut down many trees with. My husband asked my dad if it was okay if he married me and my dad said, wow, are you sure? Do you know what you're getting yourself into? That seems to be quite a common one as well. Other dad said, are you

absolutely sure you want to do this? Do you know how old she is? She hasn't been lying about that, has she? Because I'm seven years older than my husband. Are you okay with that age gap? That's going to be a problem because when she's your problem she's your problem. Wow. How great is it to hear dads talking about their lovely little princesses in such a light?

Totally. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. It is happening this Saturday, the final day to vote. You can vote early. Go out now and vote today. If you've got nothing to do, if you've got five minutes and you're not going to have five minutes on the weekend,

go and vote right now. Voting booths and polls are open everywhere. But one of the aspects of the general election is a dual referendum. There's two things to vote on. The end of life choice bill and the one we're about to talk about, the is a dual referendum. There's two things to vote on. Yeah. The end-of-life choice bill and the one we're about to talk about, the New Zealand cannabis referendum.

This is the legalisation of cannabis and joining us on the phone to talk about the 37th Prime Minister of New Zealand and someone pretty clued up about this, Helen Clark. Good morning. Good morning. Thank you so much for taking the time to chat to us.

Great, thank you. We are just days away now from the referendum. People have been able to vote in the referendum, in the early votes to the legalisation of cannabis, and that's what we're talking to Helen Clark about this morning. Well, how is it that you've kind of become the spokesperson for the... Well, good question. But one of the things, many things I do these days is I chair the Global Commission on Drug Policy.

And we're a grouping with a lot of former prime ministers like myself and presidents where they have that kind of system. And we have come to the conclusion as a group of senior former leaders that trying to prohibit a drug like cannabis is just, it's worse than actually, it does more harm than any harm that a soft drug like this might do. We look at the reality and the science which says that tobacco is actually a very dangerous drug. Alcohol causes a lot of harm to individual and society.

And cannabis actually is less dangerous than either of them. And yet it's illegal. And those who use it and supply it run the risk, of course, of criminal convictions which blight their lives. So we say it's time to change. And when there's a referendum like the one in New Zealand or when the moves were being done in Canada, we'll be very supportive of that. I just happen to be here, so I'm particularly supportive. So you've just said that, and that makes a lot of sense to me. But it doesn't seem to resonate with people who have grown up in a society where cannabis

has always been illegal. I think of my parents, for example. My mum was on board until someone said to her, because she liked the medicinal approach to it, and they said to her, medicinal cannabis is already available. This is just enabling the criminals. And she got scared of it all. And it seems fear seems to be a main weapon

for that sort of age group who are big voters in New Zealand. So how do we get around that? How do we explain to them? So what we need to do, of course, is get the facts and the reality across. The government did last year or the year before legalise medicinal cannabis. But hey, you try finding a doctor who will prescribe it. There's very few. Right.

And the product is really expensive. So what would happen if we can get this legalisation through with the lush and specialist stores set up? Because people won't be able to buy cannabis from the corner dairy or the supermarket, right? Those stores will sell what you might call over-the-counter product, like a pharmacy does. And a lot of the people who want relief from cannabis will get those over-the-counter products. So that's why once people hear that, they're really quite interested in it. Secondly, this is about disempowering criminals. A lot of the way that drugs are distributed in New Zealand,

apart from those who grow their own, giving it to their friend or whatever, a lot of it is done through organised crime. And so if you take away a very profitable source of revenue like this and make honest citizens out of people with an honest living, then they're growing, and then you have the licensed retailers. You've disempowered crime. So it's the exact opposite of what the fear mongers are saying. Right. The fear mongers are loud, though, aren't they?

Yeah. Oh, they're noisy and quite dubiously financed as well. You know, there's a clear trail of money going back to Scientology in the US and so on. So they're not very upfront about where the money comes from to fund the fear and rumour mongering. Now, you touched before on the health effects compared to, say, other drugs and also alcohol and tobacco. But what do you say to those people that say that marijuana does cause harm? And I can think of friends that I've seen that it's affected quite badly. Do you want to make that more of a health problem than a criminal problem? Oh, it definitely needs to be treated as a health and

social issue with what we call a harm reduction approach, right? We don't ban tobacco, notwithstanding the fact that now those who use it, two-thirds of them will die early of a condition related to their smoking. That's a highly dangerous drug. We don't ban it. We do harm reduction. We put out the messaging. We give people the information to make their choices and tell them what this is about.

And over time, actually, far fewer people smoke in New Zealand. Same with alcohol. We don't ban it. But actually, a lot of the deaths and injuries on our roads are coming from alcohol-impacted drivers. No one should be driving under the influence of any substance, whether it's cannabis, alcohol, anything. So this is the reality, that cannabis does less harm to individuals in society. But let's be clear, there is a small proportion who will have problematic use. And they need services. They need help.

But when something's illegal, often people won't come forward because they're scared that, oh, if I come forward, that'll be noticed and it's illegal and maybe that will lead to someone reporting me to the police and so on. It's very hard to deal with an issue where the behaviour is illegal. Yeah, it seems in a country where we do have a horrendous relationship with alcohol, like, for example, Fletch lives in the city and he's like, now that we're back at level one, the sirens are back, the police are busy back dealing with people

who have been out drinking. But people can't seem to draw a line between, you know, like legitimising the industry and having some regulations in place yet they're happy to have alcohol, you know, out and about, no limits on it, no, because that's the other thing, there'll be

limits on the amount of purchasing you can do. Much more control. I mean, you know, because that's the other thing. There'll be limits on the amount of purchasing you can do. Much more control. I mean, you know, with alcohol, you can buy it from the supermarket. You can buy it from, I'm not saying the corner dairy, but the small four square or whatever. Yeah. You know, it's everywhere.

And you have the bottle outlets concentrated in often, you know, poorer socioeconomic suburbs and so on. With this, you're not going to get distribution through that kind of store, that supermarket. It will only be a specialist licensed store. And the Cannabis Control Authority, which would be set up, is told that the licenses cannot go near schools, churches, community centres, you know, and they're going to not be proliferating like you see with alcohol.

All right, we'll be back with Helen Clark next. A couple more questions. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. We are talking this morning about the legalisation of cannabis, a referendum you can vote in now and then on General Election Day on Saturday. We're joined on the phone by Helen Clark. Now, you've been following the polls, Helen. How do you feel the polls are looking?

So the most recent polls have been quite encouraging as people really get to grips with and think about it. I think it's going to be quite dependent on the young people coming out because, in essence, a lot of it's about them. Young people try things, experiment with things. They don't want a criminal conviction for doing that. So youth turn out very important.

And I'll just say to my generation, because I'm a baby boomer, right? I went to university in the late 60s and 70s. I can tell you, for those who go on about, oh, why are you introducing another legal drug? It's been here for decades. Yeah. You walked around the university campus or a

party in the late 60s and 70s, what did you smell? Cannabis. Look, I say to people, some people of my age, I'm not going to vote for it. I say, well, have you ever tried it? Oh, yes. I tried it once or twice, but I didn't like it. And I say, what if that had been the one

time the police decided to raid the party you were at? What would your future have been like? Think about it. So we just have to get real here. I'm not advocating that people use it. I certainly don't advocate people smoke it because as someone who's wheezed and sniffled all my life, it's just not a sensible thing to do. I'm hearing from all the people who say it's the only

thing that helps me with my anxiety. It's the only thing that calms me down because I've got multiple sclerosis. It's the only thing that helped my glaucoma. And you think, look, what on earth? Why can't people just go to a specialist store and get what they need? Why do we have to be such killjoys about this?

Yeah. Out of interest, if you were the Prime Minister, would you have said which way you were voting? Because Jacinda is wearing it at the moment for not saying. Well, she is. And look, that's just got to be her personal choice. I wouldn't pressure her to come out. Obviously, on one of the TV debates, she said, yes, she'd use it.

I mean, to me, that's kind of a signal in itself. And she's, you know, if you look at her speech when they were talking about these issues, look, Jacinda's a liberal person, but she's got her own reasons for not saying and that's fine. I just say that people add two and two together. The interesting thing, just talking there about Jacinda's admit of use and people

admitting to using it. Whenever there's a study, it always says 80% of New Zealanders have tried or do use it. How is that not balanced with 80% of people who are also then, well, you don't want to go to jail for trying it or using it? It's kind of, in a way, it's my generation not sort of, you know, again, putting two and two together because so many of them have tried it

and they didn't like it, they didn't persist with it. But the fact that you didn't like it isn't a reason for voting against it. You have to look at what is the greater harm. And for me, undoubtedly, the greater harm is the fact that we still lock people up for cannabis offences. People still get criminal convictions

which may not send them to jail but actually affect their ability to get a job. Pre-COVID certainly affected their ability to travel. I know of one young man, a nephew of a friend of mine, his parents had moved to Australia. Every time he had wanted to go to see them, he had to get a special waiver to go. And if you actually forgot that and turned up at the airport,

your fare was down again because they were on a plane. I mean, really, it does blight your life. And that isn't fair. And for what? For someone getting a bit merry at a party? You know, I mean, really, I think we've just got to get this into perspective. There's far bigger issues for our police to deal with

than people smoking and supplying cannabis. Far bigger issues. And they are spending $200 million of our taxpayers a year with their helicopters hovering over the Coromandel, the cop cars staking out the joints below. You know, I mean, this is pathetic. And then you add the Crown Prosecutor, the courts and the tails of that.

If we couldn't save a quarter of a billion dollars a year in law and order money, I'll eat my hat. And then there's the tax revenue from it, which is another issue. Tax revenue is very compelling because at the moment all the profit goes to organised crime, right? That's why they're so happy.

They're probably all voting for no. Yeah, they're money lining their profits, for sure. They're probably funding it. We didn't look into that. They're probably funding the no campaign. We wonder where the money in their pockets, for sure. They're probably funding it. We didn't look into that. They're probably funding the no campaign. We wonder where the money was coming from. But yeah, look, conservatively,

New Zealand Institute of Economic Research said around $450 to $490 million a year. Some go higher, but to be honest, you don't want to push the price so high that you give an incentive for the illegal market to continue. So you need a bit of a balance there. I'd be happy with a half-billion-dollar tax take, especially in the COVID-stressed economy

where we don't have tourists and we don't have international students and the rest of it. For sure. Awesome. Well, thanks so much for taking the time you put forward. A very compelling argument. I guess we'll see next week exactly where New Zealand sits on the issue. Helen Clark, thanks so much.

Thanks a lot. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about WD-40, which is like... CRC. Which is like CRC. But you can get that here, but it was like the American version. Yes.

It was like all around the world, but we always had CRC, but now you can get WD-40 here, and it was actually CRC came after... So there was a verbal agreement between the company that had WD-40 and a guy called Charles Webb II, and they had a verbal agreement, nothing written down, and then it fell apart. Oh, he was angry. So he went off and set up Corrosion Reaction Consultants, CRC, and actually hired the president from the company that owned WD-40

to try to like, so that's why there's that beef. I never knew there was a lubricant beef. Yeah, a big lubricant beef. Who knew? They tried to wrestle to solve it, but they were too lubed and they couldn't grab each other properly. What was the agreement when it was WD-40? Don't have the exact.

Maybe a distribution agreement? They were in business together. Yeah. And then fell out. Okay, wow. So the other thing is that WD-40 would have displaced a 40 because that's what it was about. It would get water out of things.

Okay. Also, if you get the right WD-40, it'll take a grease stain out of clothes. Test that on a small patch. I do not trust that. I didn't trust it either, but I had a grease thing in of clothes. Test that on a small patch. I do not trust that. I didn't trust it either, but I had a grease thing in a hoodie and I was like,

what have I got to lose? Because I'm not going to wear it with this big grease dribble down it. And I did it and it actually did work. It's like an insane stain remover and I don't know how it does it. It's magical. What are you good at?

So is it a lubricant? Yes. Or is it a water displacer? No. Because you put it on your bike. I've only ever used it on the bike chain. Yeah, bits and pieces that you want to slide. Is that what WD stands for?

Water displacement. Yeah. So is this your fact of the day, what it was originally designed for? No. It was originally designed to protect the outer skin of the Atlas missile from rust and corrosion. Wow. So they spread it on that. Yeah.

It should have zoomed through the air cover on that too, wouldn't it? It would just basically be a big, luby, greasy missile. They'd be like, grab the missile, Iron Man. He'd be like, I'll try. It's too slippery. I didn't think of that when one as making this Iron Man suit. So the story is that the formula for WD-40 is held in a bank vault and it's only left that bank vault twice.

Okay. Once it was changing banks. Yeah. And the other time on WD-40's 50th birthday, the CEO, Gary Ridge, rode a horse into Times Square wearing a full suit of armour, carrying the formula to WD-40 in his hand. Just as a big like.

Right. What's the fact of the day? That. Oh. The formula for WD-40 has only left a vault twice, once when it shifted banks and one when the CEO rode a horse through Times Square. It's like the secret herbs and spices or the formula for Coke.

And you've got to think about it. It was 1953 when it was invented. So the 50th anniversary was 2003. Yeah, right. Wait, so he rode a horse through Times Square in 2003? Dressed in a suit of armor, carrying the formula for WD-40. I don't know. That's a real...

Try to get me if you can. And notice that my suit of armor is completely non-rusted because I coated it in, you guessed it, WD-40. So it's mixed in like Coke. You know how they say Coca-Cola's made in two different parts and then they put it together and no one's exactly sure. Yeah. And it's KFC. Yeah. And as KFC,

we haven't discovered the... No, I'm not. The exact ratio of herbs and spices to that. There's a whole bunch of other, like, secret formulas. But yeah, no one knows exactly what's in it. But they make it in two different parts

and then in two different places and put it together and then aerosol it. Huh. So it's a bit of a secret formula. So that's a good fact to hit your dad with next time he's like, oh, I can tell you why that's squirking. There's a bit of a rub in there.

Go get us the CRC. Or the WD-40. You can hit him with this fact. Thanks. So today's fact of the day is that the formula for WD-40s only left the bank vault twice. Once when it was changing banks, and the other on its 50th anniversary

when the CEO, Gary, rode a horse through Times Square wearing a full suit of armour, carrying the formula for WD-40. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Was that a beautiful wedding over the weekend? Our friends finally got married after postponing it from April. They were one of the lockdown weddings. I haven't been to a wedding for a while.

I love eating on somebody else's dime and drinking and going on like a real a-hole. You should try and get some friends. Oh, yeah, that's the worst part about it. You don't like being social. I don't. But it was while we were there that there was a little bit of a couple argument.

So there was some yummy, delicious canapes going around. That's another favourite part of mine about weddings. They just go around. They just keep coming. Yeah. And you stand by the door where they come out of the kitchen, you get first pick. Yeah.

And you don't have to talk to anybody. That's the thing if you're at a party or anything that's got people walking around with the food, the nibbles, if you're at the back of the room, sometimes they don't make it through. Oh, no, we've got a table near the front where they enter. Okay. Sometimes I think the staff need to talk to you about the rotation. And then we also tried to say, can you just leave that here?

Right. Just leave it here. So there was, among other things, because you never know, they look beautiful, but you never really know what they are. And there was like arancini balls. What are arancini balls? Which is like deep fried rice balls. And they have varying...

They can have a range of things in them. They're like minced up with all different kinds of goodies. Yeah, like you can get mushroom arancini balls. Yep, now we're talking. I just rocked right in and ate. And they were delicious. Everyone was going for these. They were the first thing to go on the platter.

We had a vegetarian at our table, has been for three years. But the partner is loose goose. Yep. Loose goose, they just have an omnivore. Yeah, but like we'll be vego most of the time because they are, but still eats meat. Right. So we're all hoeing into these arancini balls going, well, these are mushroom and rice.

Delicious. And so he's like, oh, well, chuck us one as well. So he starts hoeing into the arancini balls as well. I would have told him they had mince in them just so there were more arancini balls for me. Yeah. You don't want these, Steve, full of flesh. So they had little brown chunks in them

and it wasn't until I'd eaten my, like, fourth one that I went, I don't know if this is mushroom. It's kind of flaky. It kind of could be fish. Right. And only at that point did we bother to ask the person bringing around the canapes what was in these arancini balls.

And it turns out they were duck. Duck? What a surprise. Quack, quack, you're delicious. Quack, quack, what a bird. Which is great for all of us. However, the vegetarian at the table, who has been vegetarian for three years,

never broken it. No. Had eaten a few of the arancini balls and turns to his wife and is like, you told me these were mushroom. Ducks don't count. Ducks grow on trees. I was mortified for him,

but also everyone was having a wee bit of a laugh. Like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. Okay, that is hilarious. Well, so the amount of duck in them would have been like teeny, teeny weeny. Little, little tiny bits. But it's still its meat though, isn't it? Yeah and his wife had said oh there's a mushroom there's a mushroom um and so they had a wee moment and he said well i might as well just get takeaways on the way home i might as well just get kfc and i was like oh no he's gonna be words yeah there's like yeah

do it on purpose, though. What's he getting all up in arms about? She also didn't ask. She didn't ask. Well, he can ask if he wants the Arancini balls and he's the one with the dietary requirements. She's not babysitting him. It's his mouth hole.

He has to say what passes in the mouth hole. You've got to take responsibility for your own mouth hole is what you're saying. Yeah, so. But if everyone at the table is eating it and saying, these are mushroom, then. Yeah, but you But if everyone at the table's eating it and saying, these are mushroom, then... Yeah, but you're a vegetarian. You've got to check.

If it tastes like mushroom... Yeah. You're not catering staff. Are you? I'm not going to take your word. I'd ask the catering staff. I mean, I have been... Man, I would love to try a duck hair and cheese.

Yeah, these sound really yum. Oh, my God, they were so good. Oh, my God. I just love duck. How good are duck pancakes? By the way, there is a duck pancake place just open just two blocks from work. I must tell you about this afterwards. All they do is duck pancakes.

The same place that's on Dominion Road that's down there. I forget the name of it, but it's really yum. Watch out, ducks. Yeah. Oh, my God. We're eating y'all. And to be fair, the vegetarian obviously liked them too because he had a few. He had more than one.

Wow. Oh, so once even he knew. No, no, no, no. Oh, right, so once even he knew. No, no, no, no. Mortified after he knew. Oh, right. I thought you were like, he just threw caution to the wind. He's like, ah. No.

But we'd love to hear this morning on when someone has sabotaged your diet. Oh, 0800.ZM. Hello. Oh, hi, it's Fletch. Born. He opened Girl Guide Biscuits in his studio just moments ago. Don't blame me for that. Excuse me.

You've been saying all morning, should we have some Bickies? Should we have some Bickies? It's a Bicky time. You opened it. But yeah, it could be like a diet you're just doing, you know, momentarily. To be healthy. Or it could be a three-year vegetarian diet. Or maybe you were sick of being asked, is this gluten-free by someone who you know doesn't

have a gluten allergy? So you were like, yeah. Yeah, sure. You feed them gluten. I'd feel too bad to do that. You know that they're not. If they're celiac, that's bad. Don't do that.

But if they're just someone who thinks it's cool, dose them up with some dollar loaf. No, mate, this is that new dollar loaf with no gluten. Is this artisan? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Artisan one dollar loaf. Yeah.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. We want to know when someone sabotaged your diet. Maybe accidentally, though. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Because the origin story of this is at a wedding. It was accidental. A vegetarian ate delicious sounding duck.

Duck arancini balls. That's a well-selected canapé. Yeah, it is. That's a well selected canapa. Yeah, it is. It's for our use of duck. Jade, who sabotaged your diet? Hello. Well, I didn't get my diet sabotaged but I sabotaged somebody else's. Uh-oh.

So what happened? I was going over to my partner's house to cook their family dinner just thinking it would be something lovely, you know, impress them. And then as I was dishing it, I remembered that his sister has a dairy allergy and it had heaps of milk in it because it was a curry and cream. So I looked at him and I said, oh my gosh, it's got dairy in it. Do I tell her not to eat it?

And he said, oh, no, we'll just leave it. And, you know, she might not even notice. And she was in the toilet all night and he didn't tell her till the next morning. Oh, my God. I'm pretty sure when she was on the toilet, she would have known. Yeah. And I think she was too scared to say to me, you know, was there dairy in it? I'm allergic.

And I was too scared to say to her. Could know, was it dairy and I'm allergic, and I was too scared to say to her. Oh, could I suggest next time, could I suggest a lovely coconut milk? Because that's not dairy, is it? That's a way to avoid the squirts. A nice Thai green curry, beautiful. That's what we discussed it the next day, and she said, yeah, make sure you use coconut milk next time. Brilliant, Jade.

Thanks for your call. Mary, who sabotaged your diet? I can't eat gluten. I do end up on the toilet. And after working for this company for three years, they knew about my diet. And my leaving was scones and biscuits. And the scones were amazing. But I spent the last day pretty much on the toilet.

Did you assume that the scones were amazing, but I spent the last day pretty much on the toilet. Did you assume that the scones were gluten-free as these had been your workmates and friends for three years? They might have cottoned on to the fact. Exactly. But no. But they had not. But they were so good. Hey, Mary, thanks for your call. Ellie, did someone sabotage your diet?

Hi, no, I was part of a group that did the sabotaging. Oh, okay. Who did someone sabotage your diet? Hi, no, I was part of a group that did the sabotaging. Oh, okay. Who did you sabotage? So, I worked for a certain defence force and I was an officer steward. So, every deployment we had, the longest was seven months, we'd pick an officer, usually someone that was trying to lose weight

and we were responsible for cooking their meals, breakfast, lunch and dinner. So, we'd make them omelettes out of only egg yolk, we'd add extra butter. They thought they were the favourite. We always gave them extra dessert and I mean extra. Ellie! You would pick someone and you'd be like,

I'm going to fake you up. Yeah, they had to get bigger sizes by the end of the deployment. That is evil but quite funny. It's a little bit bad now. But mostly evil, yeah. But mostly evil. Yeah, mostly evil. Could you have at least picked one that was very active,

or would that have been too hard? They were usually active, but when you're eating chunks of butter for every meal, they kind of had to be against them. Oh, my God. Grossless. Wow. Ellie, thanks.

You call some text messages. I made scones and my vegan friend came over and asked if I put, don't put cheese on top of the one for me. I was like, okay, yeah. But I had completely forgotten at that stage that I'd sprinkled cheese all through the mixture. Oh, okay. She ate plenty of scones and still doesn't know to this day

that she was not eating vegan scones. She did say they were some of the most delicious scones she'd ever eaten because of all that delicious cheese. When I got pregnant, I had been a vegetarian for years and I had a strong craving for takeaways of the meat variety. And I guess you could say my partner sabotaged my diet by impregnating me. It's his fault. It's his fault.

I was at a wedding where some of the guests, including myself, have a gluten allergy. But when the gluten-free food was put to one side, people who didn't have a gluten-free allergy ate it all, leaving none for the actual gluten-intolerant people. They must hate that. Yeah, when someone eats all the... When I was 18, I made friends with some hot young Mormons. They were on their mission.

Okay. Isn't that always the way? Now, I didn't know this at the time, but Mormons don't drink coffee. Oh, okay. Because it's got caffeine in it. I can't understand the at the time, but Mormons don't drink coffee. Oh, okay. Because it's got caffeine in it. I can't understand the Book of Mormon. No, exactly.

So the caffeine is any form of drug, and caffeine is considered a drug. A drug, right. I got one of them Frappuccino. I didn't know that there was a lot of coffee in Frappuccinos. I just thought they were kind of like a cold milkshake. God, he must have been pinging. He didn't know, and we had multiple Frappuccinos over the course of this time. Got a taste for it,

and it wasn't until he said to somebody who was having a frappuccino that he found out he had coffee, and it was very upset for breaking his rules. Oopsie daisy. But that wasn't the rule he broke that got him kicked off the mission. I'll leave that for another day.

Oh, yes. She bagged a Mormon, shouldn't she? She bagged a Mormon. She corrupted the Mormon. Yes, that's great. Yes. The bagged a Mormon, didn't she? She bagged a Mormon. She corrupted the Mormon. Yes, that's great. Yes. The moral decline. I was a vegetarian for five years.

I was driving my boyfriend home from a party once, got Maccas on the way home. I got hash browns, he got chicken nuggies. And I was asking him to feed me the chicken nuggies, sorry, the pieces of hash brown, except he was ripping off chicken nuggies and putting them in my mouth. I was like, man, these are yum.

I looked over, I said, these are yum. And he had a cheeky grin on his face. I spat a chicken nugget on his face, but he was stoked that he got me to eat it in the meantime. Oh my God. Rip off little bits of hash brown and feed it to me. ZDM's Fletch, Vaugh brown and feed it to me.