ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 13th October 2021

Episode Date: October 12, 2021

Spying Boss  Top 6: Christmas at the park, at home  Superman Update  Community Notices!  Audio Ninja Warrior!  Am I a Bad Person?  Vax'athon  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Clay. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to McCafe, barista made coffee available from Drive-Thru and McC Delivery at level 3. And also dine-in at level 2. I just got a sponsored tweet. Oh, okay.

In my feed. Listen to this. Rise and shine a new you is waiting. Start changing your habits with Fabulous today. Now, Fabulous is this app that helps you plan your most effective day, given on what sort of personality you are. So they've given four personalities here. The bear, who wakes up at 7am, and then from 10am to 2pm does deep work, and then 2-4 does

complete easier tasks. Four to 10, relax and unwind. And then 10, prepare for bed. 11 p.m., sleep. Well, that's not going to work for you, is it? No, that's too late because I've got to get up earlier. The wolf rises at 9 a.m., completes easier tasks from 10 to 12. Then from 12 to 2, deep work.

Right. Complete easier tasks again, two to five. Work on a till 2, deep work. Right. Complete easier tasks again 2 till 5. Work on a creative project 5 till 9. 9 till 10, relax and unwind. 10 till 12, get ready to be good a bit at 12. That's too late too. That's too late for you. That's too late for us.

The lion wakes up between 6 and 7 a.m. 8 and 12 does deep work. 12 till 4 completes easier tasks. 4 till 9, relax and unwind. 9 to 10 prepare for bed. 10 sleep. Who needs an hour to prepare? I mean, that's closer to me. Yeah, who needs an hour to prepare for sleep? But that's

like having a shower and getting your shitting sorted for tomorrow, right? Right. Then there's the dolphin. Wake up at 6.30am. 8 to 10 complete your easier tasks. 10 to 12 deep work, complete your easier tasks. 10 to 12, deep work. And then 12 to 4, another lot of easier tasks. Relax and unwind from 4 to 10.

And then 10 to 11, get ready for bed. And 12, go to sleep. That's the dolphin. Wow, okay. I don't want to know what kind I am, but I'm going to have to install the app. Oh, it sounds like a load of rubbish, doesn't it? It sounds like everyone's just the same except everyone's just doing deep work at different times.

A chronotype. Maybe there's more animals. Like I can select a different time I need to wake up. Right. You'd be a beaver. Yeah, beaver or badger. Thank you. Those are hardworking, laborious creatures.

I know, a rooster. Something annoying that's really rowdy. Between nine and ten, just go, bloody attention to me. Yeah. Yeah. And then it'll be like from 6 to 6.10, complete deep work. And then it'll just be like easy tasks and then relax and unwind for the rest of the day, please. Yeah.

This is good. I'm going to see where I am. I'm going to see where you are. I'm going to see what you are. I'm going to see what you are too. Fletcher'd be a unicorn. Okay. Right. Wake up.

Yep. Blow a rainbow at your bum. Concentrate on some hard work. Yeah. Another rainbow. And then more rainbows. I'm going to see blowing rainbows all day. Yeah.

Yeah. Megan would be a ferret. Only because that to be blowing rainbows all day. Yeah. Yeah. Megan will be a ferret. Only because that's the nickname your dad gave you. Yeah. You'd ferret about. You'd scuttle down a rabbit hole. You'd eat the young. Yeah. You'd rip them limb from limb.

Scuttle across the road in front of someone that's driving. Yeah. And they'll be like, shit, what was it, a rabbit? No, rabbits don't run like that. It wasn't a stoat, was it? Might have been a stoat. Might be a ferret. Very similar, aren't they?

Okay, it's downloaded, so now I get to do my app. Oh, look, I'm going to leave you to that. Leave me to it? Yeah. Okay, cool. Good luck with that. Yeah, I've got a feeling this app is going to be one of those apps that I really regret downloading.

Play ZDN's Fletch Vaughan and Megan. Thanks, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch Vaughan and Megan. Three minutes past six. Good morning. Morning. What are you surprised?

What's your face like that for? Oh, I just watched a new trailer for a Will Ferrell movie with Paul Rudd and I was like, this will be a hoot and it actually looks like it turns into this

psychological thriller. Oh, okay. So it's based on like a true story and stuff. I won't say anymore. Is it like a bit serious? Aspects of comedy, but dark comedy. Yeah, it takes a twist in.

Oh, okay. Yeah. It's got Catherine Hahn in it, though. God, I love Catherine Hahn. She's great. She is so good. Anyway, there's a vegan Kit Kat on the desk there for later, and I'm ready to go, baby.

They're smaller, right? Yeah, they do look smaller. How many fingers do vegans have? One, two, four fingers. That's a standard Kit Kat, isn't it? Yeah, but they look smaller than the normal ones. You're not wrong. 41.5 grams.

So why are they doing this to the vegans? 0.5? Yeah. You seem very upset at a 0.5. 41.5 too. So a four-finger standard Kit Kat is 45 grams. So the vegans are also being done out of 3.5 grams. Yeah, but that's all the animals.

I can tell 3.5 grams difference. Yeah, but that's all the animal. I can tell 3.5 grams difference. Yeah, but that's how much animal is in the normal Kit Kat. 3.5 grams of animal. Yeah, so they've just taken out the animal. Okay. So it's exactly the same, just with no animal. Yeah. Does that not drive anyone else crazy?

41.5? I hate when they say uneven numbers like that. Yeah, at least make it 40 or 42. Make it 40. I would have been happy to lose a it 40 or 42. Make it 40. I would have been happy to lose a gram and a half. Make it 45.

Well, it's worked, hasn't it, the PR company sending us vegan Kit Kats and we're talking about them.

I had nothing else to talk about, though. It's a freebie for them. It's a freebie at 6 o'clock in the morning.

Secret Sound, the jackpot now $15,000. 7 o'clock this morning and 8 o'clock, we'll give you the chances to call through and try and win that cash. You've just got to be able to identify this secret sound. All of the guesses yesterday, including I saw one,

there was an old school F-Pos, you know when they slid the thing over the car? Oh, yeah. Chunk, chunk. Ching, chink. Chunk, chunk. How was it? Chunk, chunk.

It's not that. No, because that was morek, chonk. Ching, ching. Chonk, chonk. How was it? Chonk, chonk. It's not that. No. Because that was more of a metallic-y. Metallic. It does feel wooden. I don't know, but it feels wooden to me. It feels wooden and it feels like there's a spring involved. All right.

Well, your chance to have a guess, seven and eight this morning, all thanks to Neon. The top six on the way. Christmas in the Park. Did you just have some Kit Kat? I had some of it. Oh. What's it like? What are your thoughts? I don't know if I've ever had vegan chocolate before.

So it tastes different. Yeah. A bit. I don't hate it. I could eat it in a push. Yeah. I love that you're eating chocolate at six past six. I'm not judging.

It's got no meat in it. This is a salad. It's a salad finger. Pretty much. The top six sad news for Auckland. Christmas in the park has been cancelled. Did it go ahead last year? No, I don't think it did.

No, because we were too late to get it up and running. A lot of work goes into that. Christchurch looks like it's happening, but I've got the top six ways you can have Christmas in the park at home. Okay, good. Sands Park. Okay. Next on the show, a man has done something special for his wife.

I don't know if she asked for it, but she got it. All right, it's next. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. This is actually quite sweet. A man in Bosnia. Voljan. I should have googled how to say it. Voljan.

Sounds like Vaughan to me. Is his name just Vaughan? V-O-J-I-N. Yeah, Bosnian Vaughan. Bosnian Vaughan. He has finally granted his wife her wish. The kids have moved out of home. He says, after I reached an advanced age

and the kids took over the family business, I finally had enough time to task myself with granting my wife her wish. He is 72, so she's been waiting a long time. Bless. She wanted to be able to change the position of rooms in her house whenever she wanted to. So he has built her a rotating house. And in my mind, it was really flash.

It is. It's a cabin, eh? I've seen it. And it's lime green. It's a lime green cabin. Give the woman what she wants. It also, it looks like it's right beside a power station on a hill. Well, you probably need the power station to rotate the house.

Yeah, maybe. It is on like a concrete pad, so you can see underneath the house. Yeah, but it's got to rotate, so. How does it rotate, though? It looks like it's on a concrete pad, and then it's like a Lazy Susan. Yeah. It's a house on a Lazy Susan. Right, at a BYO on a Friday night.

It's like, you know those huge rotary cow sheds? Yeah. And the middle bit just turns. Like, I'm just imagining it's some giant, powered, rotating mechanism. Right. It doesn't look giant, though. It just looks like it's got, like, a little motor on the side. You crawl under, and it looks like there's a little pulley thing. So maybe you go, prrm, prrm. Are you kidding me? It's like on a lawnmower giant, though. It just looks like it's got like a little motor on the side. You crawl under and it looks like there's a little pulley thing.

So maybe you go. Are you kidding me? It's like on a lawnmower motor. Oh, God. So you'd always be getting the sun then. Yeah. You get the morning sun and then rotate for the sunset. Or even if she's like watching TV and she's getting some glare.

Oh, yes. She would say that a little bit. She would be like, pull start the house, move. Move from sun. Too bright. And he's like, you'll never build stupid house under that

yet the petrol woman. I mean, after a long time, she's been granted her wish. Wow. Yeah, it does look like it's on a lawnmower motor. I wonder if that's how they, have you seen the ad for that, what's that game show with the giant wheel and all the people sit on it? Michael McIntyre's Spinny

Winnie. What? The British are really like back as the game show nation. They are, yeah. They've got it all and I honestly think it's off the back of the success of The Chase and The Tipping Point. Yeah. They've got Five Golden Rings, which was also a fantastic premise for

a show. The rings got progressively smaller. You saw Five Golden Rings, a great idea for a show. And then this one's like, that's a weird I've watched the whole episode. But you know there's another set of people underneath. What? Yeah, I know. And Michael McIntyre's kinky

sex dungeon rotating basement. No, there's an ad that's always on when I'm watching the news and these people sit on a giant wheel, like bigger than this room, and it rotates. But what's the point of that? And then each person from, I mean, we're the blind lady and the blind here, but I believe each person has a specialty subject and they're celebrities and they're playing for people

who are in the Michael McIntyre rotating sex dungeon downstairs. People downstairs aren't celebrities. No, that's why they keep them downstairs. And they can pop up. Right. This sounds so weird to me.

My daughter said Gigi, which is what they call my dad, he really likes this show, so he'd know how this works. Oh, okay, right. What is it called? Michael McIntyre's spinning wheel of sex dungeon stuff. And also, I just feel like Michael McIntyre could be on British TV 24 hours a day and then he'd lap in the back.

Oh, they love him. People love Michael McIntyre. They do. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. Well, a woman online has shared that now that she's back in the office, she doesn't have to be constantly watched by her boss because she has revealed online that during working from home, this is in America,

that her boss made her leave her webcam on during work hours, nine to five. So they could sit there watching. Oh, my God. Keep track of everything you're doing. Yeah. Oh, God. And then you'd feel like self-conscious or conscious about going to the kitchen

for a bathroom break. I just think it's, why would you hire people that you can't trust to just get the job done? And was she not getting the work done? And that's why he was like, because I've got mates that have been working from home lately and they just get up and get all their day's work done

and then just monitor emails. And they're done by like 11. But then if you can get all the work done by 11, you're going to knock yourself out. Exactly. If you're just getting it done. Yeah. But then if you can get all the work done by 11, you're going to knock yourself out. Exactly. If you're just getting it done. Yeah. Someone I know, which I won't name.

I'm going to try and guess who it is. Somebody that she used to know. Schedules emails. So it looks like. How do you do that? How do you do that? 10, 11.30, 3. So it looks like you're working all day.

You've got to do 303. Yeah. You've got to do random times. So it looks like you're working all day. You've got to do 3.03. Yeah. You've got to do random times. So it looks like you're working throughout the day. Oh, that's genius. But you've done it all in the morning. It doesn't matter though, like you've got your work done, but it makes you look like you've been doing it all day.

Explain to me how you schedule an outgoing email. I don't know. Compose email. When do you ever need to send an email? You don't even reply to the email. Never. Email. I don't know. Compose email. When do you ever need to send an email? You don't even reply to the email. Never. Email, bum, test. Yeah, I didn't know that was that.

Not testing the bum, but just bum test. CC field, BCC field. It's always pretty good when someone CCs, but they're meant to BCC. Yeah, it's great. Reply to address your priority field. Okay, so it's not there. I can't see how to... It's not in the outgoing mail thing anyway.

I mean, we're not skilled on email. I mean, you'll be able to Google. We just receive them mostly. Yeah, exactly. But that is a genius idea. Yeah. Wow. No, that's set priority.

No, that's not what I want either. Well, it can be done. It can be done. Interesting. Well, sometimes you don't want to seem too eager So you might want to like But then you forget To reply to the email

So the webcam was just on Yeah Would you You know in the movie Speed I was trying to think Of a more modern reference You familiar with the movie Speed I am yeah

Where they had to keep The bus going Over 50 kilometres an hour And no one's allowed to get off the bus or Dennis Hopper blows it all up. Yeah. Now, they loop the video. Yes. Famously.

Yeah. You could have just said like any spy movie where they loop the security video. They hack the security video and loop it. Yeah, like you could have said Mission Impossible. That's a way more. That is the most famous reference I can think of about looping a and loop it. Yeah, like you could have said Mission Impossible. That's a way more. That is the most famous reference I can think of about looping a video. Speed.

Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. I'm not sure they do it all the time, but that was like the absolute linchpin of that entire Keanu Reeves, Sandra Bullock, Speedy Bus, Blow Up, Dennis Hopper operation. Just make sure no one drops their handbag mid-loop, eh? Was that what it was? The handbag moved Yeah

And so he spotted the loop But it was too late, they were all off the bus And jokes on Dennis, spoiler alert Sorry, I've ruined speed for anybody Carwin, have you seen Speed? You haven't seen Speed? I've ruined it for Carwin You haven't seen Speed?

It's a classic Oh my god What about Speed? Here's what's going to blow your mind, Carwin. You haven't seen Speed? It's a classic. Oh my God. What about Speed? Here's what's going to blow your mind, Carwin. Speed 2. It's a cruise ship. Is this like Matrix 2?

It's a cruise ship. I don't think I've seen Speed 2. They count it was busy. I think they got, Tim was in it, wasn't he? Timmy Ramirez was in it. He was like the captain of the cruise ship.

But they can't stop the cruise ship. What next? Wow. I was always was like the captain of the cruise ship, but they can't stop the cruise ship. What next? Wow. I was always waiting for the third in the Speed trilogy, you see. Bus. Train. I was thinking train.

No, they did train. There was that train one with Chris Pine. Was that Unstoppable? Yeah, I think so, yeah. Chris Pine and Denzel Washington? Yeah, yeah. But that wasn't under the Speed franchise. It had a Speed-esque vibe.

What was that one where the plane flew upside down? That was Denzel Washington as well. Flight. That wasn't the sequel to the train one. No, no, not at all, no. Okay. I'm just getting a lot of transport-based movies all over the place. Learn here is that movies were terrible in the 90s.

No, they were awesome. They were awesome. That's just how you're remembering them. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. Vodafone have come out and said they're going to give their staff $100 in this time. Yep. To go out and support small business. I was, when I first read this, I was like, this is encouraging people to get vaccinated.

But it's not. It's not. It's just that our company did this. Yeah, on Friday on payday. Yeah, they were like. Bogsy the boss was like, surprise. Yeah, here's $100. I immediately sent it overseas.

Because I want to see Jeff Bezos get back up in that dick rocket. You're like, I'm not investing this money in New Zealand. This was for small business. I said, no smaller business. Yeah, I was like, Jeff Bezos' genital insecurities being projected onto a rocket. By the way, he's firing up. William Shatner. Tomorrow morning.

Yeah, like one or two in the morning. Have you seen William Shatner doing this? Did I see that William Shatner was scared? He was like, oh, I'm pretty nervous about him. He's 90. I know. He's phenomenal for 90. He must be on the best meds.

Vitamins, fruit, veg. I don't know what his secret is, but shit, he looks amazing for 90. You always think he's like 70 or something, eh? Yeah. He looks fitter now than he did at the end of Boston Legal. I guess if he's been going to space and stuff, he's maybe been doing some work, doing some work to get some cardio in.

But I thought he looked great for 90. Well, it's good that you invested in the dick rocket. I immediately used my $100 to support the local economy by buying food. What did you buy? Just takeaways. Right. What about you? Did you? What did I have for takeaways you buy? Just takeaways. Right. What about you?

Did you? What did I have for takeaways? I did have takeaways. Oh, yeah, I had takeaways this weekend. Yeah, good. But how many, like, Vodafone giving people $100, don't they only have five staff left in New Zealand? So this is like bang for your buck.

This is like people going, oh, good on Vodafone. How many people did they lay off at the start of the – I feel it was a lot. Yeah, right. I don't know, three people that work there that don't work there anymore. So. But then – But it's good.

It's good. So it's not to get the vaccine. It's not like a – Yeah. No. Because I know some businesses are doing that. If you get the vaccine, they'll give you a little prize or – Well, yeah, a mate of mine, the company he works for said

if you get the first jab, just get it underway, we'll give you an extra day's annual leave. And the anti-vaxxer at their work was like, oh yeah, I'll do it for an extra day's leave. And I said, well now your principals have a dollar amount. Are you kidding me? So now when this guy's like, I won't do it on principals alone,

you're like, well here's $100. And he'll be like, yep. Wow. Are you kidding me? I won't do it, exactly. I won't do it on principles alone, you're like, well, here's $100, and he'll be like, yep. Wow. Are you kidding me? I won't do it for my fellow person. I won't do it. Exactly. I won't do it for people.

I won't do it for society. I'll do it for $100 or the equivalent of. Do you know what? We need as many people vaccinated. Totally. I don't care if that gets someone over the line. Honestly, don't. And all the graphs that are coming out about the unvaccinated people in this outbreak in New Zealand,

they make up like, well, I think out of all the hospitalizations, there were three people that were vaccinated out of like everyone that went into hospital. Over 200 hospital admissions in this latest round? Yeah, it's crazy. So everybody that's going to hospital, the majority of them are unvaccinated. Here's a genuine question I think you'll know the answer to.

I was booked in for next Friday, but I'm going to move it to this Friday. Yeah. Do I just walk in? You can, but you just do it online because it will take a spot. Just change your appointment online. I'll do it for you. No, I don't want you to.

I want you to walk me through it rather than take three times as long. I'll woman-splain it to you. Yes. Yeah, that'd be lovely. I like woman-splain. Also, this Saturday is the Super Saturday. Yeah. And there'll be like a telethon.

There'll be everybody in the community mucking in. And this is time to get everybody vaxxed. You're going to deal with this. No, you're not going to do the top six on that, are you? You're doing it on the... I hope so. I hope not. I've written a number.

Christmas in the Park. That's right. Christmas in the Park is not going to be happening in Auckland. So I've got the top six ways to have a Christmas in the Park at your home. From the exotic ZM think tank, this is the top six. Auckland's Christmas in the Park cancelled for a second year. Yeah, Christchurch Christmas in the Park still go? Yep.

That's going to look a bit different though, right? Maybe, right? Well, yeah. I guess it depends what level. Right. So yeah, Auckland's is just not happening. Extremely disappointed to have to cancel the show for the second year in a row, says Annette Chillingworth, British butler and also in charge of the Auckland.

Yeah. Got Christmas in the park. Annette Chillingworth. That's a great name, isn't it? What a name. What a strong female character in this Victorian turn-of-the-century novel that I'm now writing in my head. Yes.

Furiously scripting. Well, with that in mind, the top six ways to have Christmas in the park at home, as that might be your only option. Number six, Christmas in the dark. Okay. That's where you go into the hallway and turn off the lights and shut all the doors and then you just run at each other. I think you're going to say it might be like that in the dark eating that restaurants do.

Oh, well, you can't see. Yeah. Or like that, I'd miss the food and then... Yeah, same. You can feel where the food is. Yeah. Chasing it around the plate. Or you could just, yeah, have Christmas with the power off.

Sure. Like Christmas pre-electricity. How's mum going to do the dinner? The Christmas dinner? What about the Christmas lights on the tree? That's candles. Candles on a tree? It's very, very dangerous, but that's how they used to do it

if you want Christmas lights back in the day. Mum's going to cook by cooking over the open fire. Great. Okay, nice. Easy peasy. Number five on the list of the top six ways to have Christmas in the park at home. Christmas in a bark. That's where you have a dog-based Christmas.

Okay. That sounds great. Invite all the dogs around. Chuck some turkey on the ground. They all start fighting over the food. It turns into a whole thing. But you still get that Christmas feel. Nice.

With a little crowd. Number four on the list of the top six ways to have Christmas in the park at home. Christmas with a mark. Everybody knows a mark. Yep, they do. As long as, you know, it's not breaking rules of association with marks from different bubbles, you could have Christmas with a mark. Great.

And Mark could sing. Lovely. I don't know if I want my Mark to sing. Yeah, Mark's singing. It's Christmas with a mark. He's going to sing all the Christmas carols. He didn't sing, Megan. It's Christmas.

And then he comes out dressed as sing all the Christmas carols. Let him sing, Megan. It's Christmas. And then he comes out dressed as Santa at the end. Yeah. And you're like, oh, Santa, you've just missed Mark. This is Christmas with a mark after all. Got it. 72 days till Christmas. That's mind-blowing.

It's crazy, right? Number three on the list of the top six ways to have Christmas in the park at home. Christmas in an ark. You're going to need to start building that immediately. Or if you've got an ark on hand and you can pretend to be Noah and his family. Lovely. With a whole lot of animals in the ark. Great place to have Christmas.

Number two on the list of the top six ways to have Christmas in the park at home. Christmas in your car park. Wherever you park your car, just put the Christmas table there. If you don't have any off-street parking, you better hope the neighbours aren't taking up the parking out on the roadside anymore because you need that. And they're always parked. They've got three cars in their driveway and they're taking up

outside car parks. Rude. Get rid of some of your cars. And number one on the list of the top six ways to have Christmas in the park at home, Christmas with a shark. You've got to get a shark. Okay. You're allowed to go fishing now,

so you can catch a shark, put it in your bathtub, and hopefully it'll still be around for Christmas with a shark. That is today's top six. Fire is hot. Your smoke alarm loves to look after you. When you Your smoke alarm loves to look after you.

When you look after them, they look after you. Ali is our fire warden this morning. All you have to do, Ali, is set off your smoke alarm by pushing the test button, not by lighting a fire underneath it. And if someone you live with pops out of their room to check, you win $250 cash. Easy peasy. Now, how many people do you live with pops out of their room to check, you win. $250 cash, easy peasy. Now, how many people do you live with, Ellie?

Just one other, my partner. Oh, okay. So you just slipped out of bed and he's still asleep. Yeah. Now, yesterday, who was that poor man who got in trouble with the wife? Oh, yeah. Did we get an update? I don't know if that ended in divorce or not, but, jeez, that was awkward, wasn't it?

It was definitely an argument after we left. Oh, 100%. All right, Ellie, let's do the test. All righty. Okay. It's working. I heard him move. You heard him move?

He's yelling. He's yelling? Yeah, that's enough. That's how you I heard him move. You heard him move? He's yelling. He's yelling? Yeah, that's... I think that's enough. That's how you put out a fire. You yell at it. Ellie, congratulations. You got him out.

You got him up. You got him awake anyway. $250 is all yours. Well done. Awesome. Thanks, guys. Now, you're four times more likely to survive a house fire if you have a working smoke alarm.

And Vaughn and I can speak from experience because there was that time in the Dock Hut that a fire alarm saved our lives after we nearly burnt it down. That hut, by the way, I saw that hut in yesterday. The paper had a top ten huts of New Zealand. It's a beautiful hut. And I was like, if we'd burned that down, that wouldn't have been in that list.

It wouldn't have been on the list. Wouldn't it, would it? No, it would have been higher on the list because they would have built a new one. Fair call. Ellie, well done. If you'd like to play and be Fletch, Warner Megan's fire warden tomorrow, just go to ZM online.

Play ZM's Fletch, Warner Megan. Superman. You'll be familiar with Superman. You're probably familiar with Clark Kent's Superman. Kal-El from the Planet Crypto on Superman. I didn't realise there were other ones. Well, he is Superman. He's the main Superman, right?

Yeah. That's who, like, Henry Cavill's played and Christopher Reeve. Everybody played that character. Yeah. But in the comic book worlds, there's more Superman because, like, Superman dies. What? And there's alternative. Spoiler alert.

Yeah, he's died, like, a couple of times. Well, you think about it, he died in the movies. And then where does the new Superman come from? Well, in this situation, I don't know. In this storybook, the Superman son of Kal-El, this story in the DC universe, is, by the way, just in comic form at the moment. Right.

I don't know what happened to the original Superman. Before we go down your nerd rabbit hole, there's news on the Superman front that has upset some people. Well, it's his son that is now Don, the famous outfit of Superman. John.

Who's that? John. That's what Superman named his son John John, John It's short for Jonathan Kent Because his father

The guy that raised him on Earth Was Jonathan Martha I feel like it should be It should be a bit more zhuzhed up You think it should be From like the planet What planet's he from? Krypton

But he's named him after his Earth father The man that raised him on Earth Oh, okay I saw this story on the news last night And I did chuckle Because I thought It's going to rile people up It's going to really set people free.

Superman is like the all-American hero, right? And the news is he's bisexual. Oh, my God. The son of Superman's bisexual. What will we do? I know. He definitely can't save us now. Don't touch me.

He might be too busy on Grindr to save us now. Don't touch me. He might be too busy on Grindr. The building's on fire. He might be too busy on Grindr to save us. He could be on multiple apps. He's bisexual. Of course, of course. He'd do whatever he damn well pleases. Don't touch me. But the building's on fire.

Let me get you out of the building. Yeah, I don't want to catch bisexuality. He's old. Rednecks So yeah People will be getting Really wound up Because someone that

And something that Doesn't actually exist And you can totally choose Not to read Should you not be into it Yeah Is doing something Completely normal

Yeah That will upset people He's John Kent is bisexual And falling for Jay Nakamura A male reporter Oh okay

A young male reporter A respectable respectable writer with bubblegum pink hair. First appeared in this as a shoulder to lean on when Jonathan Kent found the business of being Superman just getting a little bit too rough. Right, so he didn't find him on Grindr. No, not Grindr. Unbelievable. Isn't that a little Spider-Man-esque, that whole scenario? What's Spider-Man-esque?

You know, like, doesn't Spider-Man... I'm getting deep into comics and I don't know anything about comics. No, I'm enjoying... Didn't he fall in love with a journalist when he was like, Spider-Man's too hard for me? It's very cliche, isn't it? Mary Jane? Yeah.

I don't know what any of you are talking about. I just don't know. Okay. I mean, overall, I'm pretty happy with the development. I think they've got a lot of positive feedback, though. Yeah. Yeah, totally. Totally.

Why not? Yeah. As long as he's saving the world, I don't care what he's up to with the Wickeds, you know? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Let him do what he wants. He's a good guy. I mean, for all we know,

the orange electoral guy could be bisexual on the ads. We don't know. The electoral man? Yeah. I've always considered him non-sexual.

Asexual. Asexual, really. Doesn't have right genitals. Those aren't clothes that he's in, are they? He's naked. It's a jumpsuit.

Oh my God. I don't know what the orange electoral guy looks like naked. I always thought he was asexual. I don't think we should assume his sex. What about a guy that goes around the country in summer telling us how much the fire danger's at with his arrow? It's me and my arrow. That was quite like pointed and sexual.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's probably very sexual. He's probably very sexual. He's probably very. Well, maybe this fire season we'll find out. But I've never seen a wife. Yeah, no. Or a husband or a partner of any sort. Maybe it's time to develop that character.

Yeah. It's me and my arrow and my new partner, Kevin. ZM's Flesh Warner Megan. Keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier. NZ Herald's new podcast, The Front Page, is your short, sharp, daily news podcast. Join me,

Damien Venuto, every weekday morning as I chat with journalists and newsmakers, going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest news stories of the day. Listen to the front page at nzherald.co.nz slash podcasts and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. Play ZM.

ZM's $50,000 Secret Sound. Season 10. Secret Sound is all thanks to Neon Watch TV series and movies hand-picked for Kiwis by Kiwis on Neon. Con joins us this morning. Good morning, Con. Good morning. All right, so Soundkeeper Alice is standing by.

The jackpot is now $15,000. And the secret sound that you've got to identify? I think it's lifting weights and putting it down. Lifting weights and putting them down? Yeah. Like dumbbells?

Yeah, probably like, you know, when you do deadlifts, you sort of lift them up and put them down on the ground. Oh, yeah, okay. I do know what you mean. Yeah. Soundkeeper Al's bra.

Have you been to the gym lately, bra? No. Well, I mean, I get what you're saying, so I know what the sound is. But if you catch me doing that, oh, my goodness, it would hurt something. In level three, this would have to be a home gym con. Yeah, at home. True. I mean, yes.

Alza, you got the garage, you know, dad or someone in the house got the garage set up for the pump and iron? Garage decked out? Yeah. I'll tell you in a second. Yeah. On. Have you had a second. Yeah. Come on. Have you had a look at the clues lately?

Yeah, well, it's the two clues. It says, like, level three made me, so I was like, oh, maybe a home gym. Like, you have to buy it and then use later. I was like, I don't know. Well, you've made it this far. I'll let you know now. Yay. Con.

Connie, I call you that. Yeah. Lifting weights and putting them down is not the secret sound. Oh, Con, it's not. All right, well, back to the drawing board, and we'll have another chance at 8 o'clock. All the closer guesses that we've had yesterday and all the guesses up until now,

ZM Secret Sound on Instagram. Coming up on the show, Community notices the wild and crazy and wonderful things that you see on your local Facebook pages that you've seen. Arthur will go through those soon. But next on the show. Yeah, we want to talk about transporting humans in the

car boots. Because it turns out that's how someone got through the border checkpoint to go up north. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. Now as someone that chucked someone in the boot of a car or I've also been the person that rid... Road? Road. Rided. Rided.

Rided. And the boot. Roded. Rided. Rided. In the boot. Rode-ed-ed. Rode-ed-ed. Rode-ed-ed. Rode-ed-ed in a boot of a car. Yeah. I was shocked, appalled, and somewhat hypocritical to see that somebody did that to get across the Northland-Auckland boundary that's been set up for COVID.

I mean, it's naughty and bad to do it if you're getting a ride from a party and the only seat's the boot. You do it. But you're not going to be crossing the border illegally doing it. Yeah, no, I've never been in one on a state highway. No. I've been in one. Like a hatchback boot.

Yeah. Yeah. From a party to town or a party to home. Yeah. Yeah. From a party to town. Yeah. Or a party to home. Yeah. If the sober driver's like, oh, I've met someone that has to come with us. And you're like, goddamn sober drivers. Well, we can't put her in the boot. I'll go in the boot.

And so you go in the boot. Yeah. But to read that somebody was in a boot to get through the checkpoint when other stories have shown that their boots have been checked. Because it was on the 21st of September. Every boot. That would just be so exciting to be like, oh, please, I'm just going to check your boot.

I'd love to know from people that have been through the checkpoints if they are popping the boots. Well, they are because this story from the 21st of September said that at 2.40am, a car was stopped at the Mercer checkpoint as it was trying to leave Auckland. And he said, I've just been going through Auckland. I came from Northland. I'm going to the Waikato.

Yeah. And there was a man in his boot. Oh, right. Because he has a story of a woman in the boot heading to Northland. She was caught in the last couple of days. She was on a court-imposed condition that said she had to stay in Auckland. And then she got up to Whangarei on Friday. And then she was arrested in Kaitaia on an unrelated matter.

Oh, right. So she's... You've got to keep your head down if you're on the run. Has she never seen a movie? Yeah. Ever? Don't draw attention to yourself when you're on the run. Has she never seen a movie? Yeah. Ever? Don't draw attention to yourself when you're on the run. But in the boot, I thought the COVID checkpoints were sort of like,

you know whenever you see the US-Mexico border in a movie? Yeah. They've got dogs. They've got that mirrors on sticks for checking under the car. Yes. In case someone's decided to hang on underneath. Yeah. Roll out.

You just get such a kick out of checking everyone's boot. Yeah, I'd probably get a bit crazy with power. Yeah. Pop the boot. Be like, strip the lining. Remember that when they were festivals and stuff where you'd go for multiple days, like Rhythm and Vines, but the one I'm thinking of was in Whangamata

or just going into Whangamata for the alcohol ban, they were like checking like, if that opened your car door and if it rattled and sounded like bottles were in it, they'd be like, you've hidden booze in your door and they'd take the lining off and they'd find the booze in your door. Smugglers. That's called contraband runners.

But yeah, they're supposed to have snuck into Northland in the boot. Disappointing. But we were wondering this morning how you've snuck into places that you shouldn't have been. Was it the boot? How else in a car? In a giant wooden horse. I'm looking forward to hearing from our ancient Greek callers today too, Megan.

The Trojans. The Trojans. I'll hear from the Greeks Yeah The Trojans I do love a good story Of someone sneaking Into a festival

Yeah Like it's naughty It's real naughty And I'm not encouraging it But god I love a good story And sometimes The effort they go to Seems like

It would have been easier To just pay Yeah Sometimes It's like I Went inside a bag inside the fuel roof box

of my friend's car. It's like, that is the crazy dangerous thing I've ever heard. Those aren't meant to be carrying that much weight in there. But it's always your little mate that gets shoved into those sorts of precarious positions. We're talking about your sneaks. Not very pleased with this latest

COVID breach to get to Northland by hiding in the boot of a car. By the way, I think this is just also they've got to check every boot of the car. I think they are now. I think they are. Yeah. Every fuel roof box. They should do that thing they used to do on World War II movies

where they'd always hide in the hay and they'd just, like, stab it with a pitchfork. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That'll get them. Or they'd suspect someone in the hay and they'd just like stab it with a pitchfork. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That'll get them. Or they'd suspect someone was hiding under the floorboards and they'd just go. Yes. Just shoot through the floorboards. So you're just saying they should just shoot the boats.

Shoot the boats. Yeah. Okay. Shoot the boats. So don't hide in the boats. There's a few fuel tanks back there. Seems extreme. Yeah.

Yeah. Wow, we'll do what we can. You've got to keep COVID out of Northland. You've got to keep COVID out of Northland. So we want to know your stories of a great sneak. Yeah, maybe it was the boot. Maybe it was just sneaking in somewhere. My girlfriend used to manage to sneak shots, those pre-packaged ones.

So I'm thinking... Are those ones that have the split in the middle? Yeah. And one side's green and one side's cream. That was one of them. Yeah. That was your QF, wasn't it? Because that was sort of a Bailey's Miduri rip-off, that one. Megan can get a few of those into her deadly pony's handbag. Yeah. That was your QF, wasn't it? Because that was sort of a Bailey's Miduri rip off that one.

Megan can get a few of those into her Deadly Ponies handbag. Yeah. One of those sound the cleave. You rip the lining out and put it underneath, don't you? Yeah, yeah. Do they actually check your handbags when you go into bars? No, not when you go into bars. Shotbox.

Yeah, I'm over 18. Just let me look at it. Bloody hell. Megan can get a whole sleeve of those. Can she? gone to bars. Shotbox. Yeah, I'm over 18. Just let me look at it. Bloody hell. Megan can get a whole sleeve of those. Can she? The plastic cup was so solid too. It wasn't like a disposable thing. No, I know.

It had a bit of structural integrity. Oh, bad news. The Shotbox Party Pack 12-pack of shots, not available at Lickaland, Whangaparoa. Oh, goodness. I just clicked that because it was the top store. I had to click which store I wanted to go to. But that's what I, you know those shot boxes, and they're all different, and they're all like,

and then you have a headache the next day, and you're like, I don't think we were drinking high-quality alcohol. Oh, I gave you that idea. But my girlfriend, somebody messages in, used to get the tubes of Pringles and open it carefully, empty it, fill it with shots, glue the seal back on, pop, that'd pop. No, but that's still sealed, even though they very rarely checked when they did it.

It looked like a pre. That'd be heavier than a tube of Pringles, though. You're not wrong. There's a weight disparity there. If you put that in the self-serve checkout area, it would say. You hold it and take the lid off. Yeah. Yeah, look, it's still sealed.

Then they might get a little bit suspicious. Maybe it's good for the, you know, when you go to like a sports game or a party, you know, where they're like, you're not allowed alcohol, but you're allowed a picnic, your own food. That'd be perfect for that. Not encouraging that at all. I'm not going to name where this happened. But someone said at a festival some years ago, them and their mates went and bought two hot chickens each

and then went to the liquor store and bought those 350ml spirits bottles and stuffed them up the cooked chook. Walk in with a bag of buns and a cooked chook, you just look like you've bought your lunch. I mean, the alcohol's hot, but never mind. And covered in chicken grease. What if you did a whole massive turkey? You could probably get a 1125 bottle up that.

Yes. Why not take a whole cooked turkey to a festival? Or just get a goon bag or a bag and then just stuff that in and fill it up. And fill it when it's in there. Yeah. Not a bad idea. Although, would you want your vodka getting chicken juice in it? The vodka wouldn't get chicken juice in it,

but it would be like, as Megan said, piping hot when it came out. Connor, what did you sneak into? Me and my family snuck onto the subway in Paris. Oh, my God, Connor. How old were you when this happened? I was 18. So your parents made you break the law? Well, we were all pretty half cut, so no one really saw much of it.

So you, mum, dad, and whoever else in your family is all pissed up on cheap French wine, and dad's like, let's sleep on the subway. Yep, exactly. But some of the subways in Europe and overseas are real trust-based. Like, they'll still check your tickets every now and then, but they don't always have the turnstiles. Right. No, well, these ones just had the turnstile.

They had nowhere for us to top up our tube car. Right, so you clambered over them drunk. Yeah, my sister climbed under. I jumped. My mum and dad snuck through with some other random lady. Wow. So some poor French woman's like, bonjour. And your dad's like, we're not going to get right close to you.

Come on, Catherine, get in close. Squeeze through. Connor, thanks for your call. Some messages in. Someone said, when I was a younger individual, underage, my friends and I worked out that a popular fast food restaurant shared a toilet with a very popular nightclub. So we'd go into the fast food restaurant, go into the toilet,

come out and just go straight into the club. What a loophole. What an absolute loophole. Someone said, I went into one bar that wasn't busy. Didn't want to be in that bar But I wasn't going to get Into the other bar Because it was a long line

I went upstairs to their balcony Jumped over to the roof Of the other bar Went inside the window upstairs So I didn't have to wait in line I have to look up To that roof balcony And the gap in between the two

And think Good God I could have died If I'd fallen When I jumped from one balcony To the other Peter Parker messages the show. Thank you so much for that, Spider-Man.

Fletchfallen Megan's Community Notices. Hello and welcome to Community Notices, a segment of the show where we have a look at what's happening around New Zealand according to local Facebook pages. These are sent in by you. So please, send them on in. FEMZM on Facebook. And thank you to Carwen at the Social Media Desk for compiling these.

Thumbs up. Good work. That wasn't sarcasm either. That just saved me. It sounded sarcasm. Oh, no, God, no, not at all. She does a great job. Even that sounded a bit sarcasm.

Oh, my God. Can I not sound genuine? No, you can't. No. Oh, my God. Remember that time you tried to voice, you can't. No. Oh my God. Remember that time you tried to voice that Red Cross ad for an appeal and you sounded like you were taking the piss? About the Gaza Strip.

That hurt my feelings. Did that sound genuine when I said it hurt my feelings? Yeah, it actually did. It did. Okay, so the only time I can sound genuine is when it's my own, you know. Yeah. My own pain. Your own pain.

So I think you could. Is that like. A narcissistic. A narcissistic. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. No empathy for others.

This comes from the Inner East Birbs page. This is your Linwoods, et cetera. Sharon writes, hi friends. Over lockdown, I started to learn

how to crochet in my spare time because my husband was irritating me as per. Okay. And I just needed a new hobby to relax. Anyhoo, I made this to give to him to tell him he was being a dickhead. And I thought that would probably sell as a funny Christmas gift. And based in Linwood area, let me know if you're interested in a crochet ding dong.

Hashtag woman is superior. There you go. There's a little crocheted. So she fills it up Wow Here's the best part about it Is if she didn't fill it up This would be quite a good

Pan handle You know sometimes The pot handle gets a bit hot Yeah You could slip that over the Yeah The handle of the frying pan Yeah okay

And move it around But she may have put a base on it So I'm not sure Whether it's got an open end. But that could totally. That's actually really well done, Sharon. Congratulations on your fantastic hobby. It looks great.

While we're in the area on the Rolleston Community Group, Kev has written, shout out to the person who purchased the new bed today. If you get home and find your mattress is missing, message me. Yes, that's right. It hit the car behind you after it flew off your trailer. And they didn't notice? They didn't have the mattress tied down.

Kevin's in pretty good spirits about it, though. He's not, you know, he's not wild. He's not angry. Well, hello there, Amanda, who says, Hi, Kevin. I've messaged you regarding my mother's flying mattress. And then she tags in her mum. See, mum?

Hmm? Mum? So no word whether or not the mattress got returned. But they did find it. That's cool. Yeah. Okay. Next from the hibiscus coast, the old HBC.

Karen has put up a picture of her Bunnings Click and Collect Okay So when you go to Bunnings Click and Collect they put all your stuff together and then they print out a sticker on it that says like

order for collection and then it says your name Yeah So Karen picked up one for her husband Andy Yeah So it says

collection for Andy and written on Andy's collection sticker says love you with a heart Karen says is anybody else getting messages like this Collection for Andy. And written on Andy's collection sticker says, Love you with a heart. Karen says, Is anybody else getting messages like this on their click and collect from Bunnings Silverdale?

Goodness me. Someone's got the hots for Andy. Someone's got the absolute hots for Karen's husband. Unbelievable. Are they doing that for everybody? Well, I don't know. No, I don't know. You done a Bunnings click and everybody? Well, I don't know. No, I don't know. You done a Bunnings click and collect?

No, I haven't done a Bunnings. You got a sexy message? No. I mean, it's nice. It's probably what you need to hear in these times. I haven't had any of my click and clicks have a sexy message. What's a sexy message? No.

I don't have a sexy message. Just if I ever click and collect, if anybody listening there ever deals with any of my click and clicks, I'm always open. Just open for some love in these tough times. Right, absolutely. From Vic Deals, Travis writes, and he puts up a picture of a pizza box with one slice of pizza left in the middle. Whoever stole my pizza this morning and mastered it, come back and I'll buy you a fresh one. I left my car unlocked and not only did you not steal my wallet

or anything else in the car, you left me a piece of the pizza. I hope your day gets better. Huh. So they left everything in the car as well as a pizza. And this person who broke in obviously just was hungry. And so this top bloke, rather than being angry about his car being broken into, well, it was unlocked, so it just opened. How?

This is Masterton. I didn't think small town New Zealand was even leaving cars unlocked anymore with stuff in them. Maybe they are in Masterton, yeah. But Travis wants to buy them a present. No, it sounds like a trap. He doesn't. It does sound like a trap. He wants to beat you up. Oh my god, do you think it's a trap? Absolutely it is.

Oh, Travis. And you fell for it being all nice. A Travis trap. But I'm not going. I didn't take the pizza so I'm not falling into the trap. Okay, well, it's a trap? Absolutely it is. Oh, Travis. It's not a Travis trap. And you fell for it being all nice. A Travis trap. But I'm not going. I didn't take the pizza, so I'm not falling into the trap. Okay. Well, it's a trap. Okay. I like to think the best of Travis. It's a Travis trap.

100% it's a Travis trap. And I'm for it. I like it. Travis, if you can let us know whether or not that was a trap or a Travis treat or a Travis trap, you know? Yeah. Let us know where you fall on that one, Travis. Michelle has asked a question of East Auckland Grapevine.

I'm looking for recommendations for a doctor, preferably male, for a male patient. A doctor that's not too old, is in their practice most days, and not one to quickly prescribe pills. A mixed approach of general medicine and holistic is preferred. This is a long list. Wow. A long list of doctor requirements.

Yeah. Also, are there many doctors that have a mixed approach to medicine? Of general medicine and holistic? No. Like you go in and something's wrong and they give you a crystal. That kind of mix. Crystal and some Panadol. Yeah.

Can you get it? But like my doctors said like offered some supplements. Is that what they mean? Like vitamins and stuff. I don't know. Does that count? Panadol. Yeah. No, but like, my doctor said, like, offered some supplements. Is that what they mean? Like vitamins and stuff. I don't know. Does that count? I don't know. I think they give you

a dream catcher and a crystal. Yeah, take this to the woman on the way out. Yeah. You pay for your thing and then pop next door

to the pharmacy. There's a prescription there for a 500 pack of pennies and also then go next to the gift shop and there's a prescription there for a couple ofpack of panties. And also then go next to the gift shop and there's a prescription there for a couple of rose quartz and a dream catcher. Yeah.

Which are government-funded too, so you only have to pay the prescription charge. I remember reading that Pharmac was buying dream catchers and I thought that's good use of money. It is. Yeah, that's good use of money because the answer, obviously, to the problem is being able to remember your dreams. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, totally. And finally, no, to the problem is being able to remember your dreams. Yeah. 100%.

100%. Yeah. Totally. And finally, no, that's it. Let's leave it there. Okay, no, I'll read this one. We'll leave it there. Gail writes on the Timaru and South Canterbury Bicellon Exchange.

She says, I had this one delivered to pass the time in level three, level four, but it didn't arrive until level two, so I've got no use for it now. It's an adult fun toy. Who doesn't have time for an adult fun toy? Level nothing. Yeah. It's not like they were invented because a pandemic happened. No.

It wasn't like nobody was doing that beforehand, Gail. Don't be so quick to give it away, Gail. Yeah. Also, you don't know if there's another lockdown coming or not. Just keep it, Gail. Put it in the drawer. Keep it fully charged. Be ready to party, baby. That is today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page,

screen cap it and send it to us, FVMZM on Facebook. Surely both have got their... Kind of different, like... Because I just think of, like, grandparents sassing you, you know, when you go around and they're like... Yeah, but then older people can, like, get off my lawn and they can be real nasty and rude and angry,

but then, like, some of the old people are the sweetest old people. I know. Every generation's got its good and its bad, right? Older people, according to this study, really are kinder. Elderly are more likely than youngsters to do things that benefit others, including social distancing during COVID and giving to charity. Really? But they've got more money to give to charity.

This is true. Younger people were more likely to donate to international charities than elderly. Right. Women were found to be kinder than men. And wealthier people gave less to charity. Wealthier people gave less to charity, percentage-wise. Yeah. Wow.

I guess there's an empathy thing there, right? The, you know, the more privileged a position you're in. You probably can't relate. Yeah. Unless you relate. Yeah. Why don't they just get rich like I was born into? Why don't they have money?

I have money. How did you get your money? I had, well, I don't know. My family's always had money. I haven't thought about it too much. I've definitely heard people say that. Are you joking? Yeah, he was joking.

People definitely say that. Have you heard talk back? Yeah. Except they often don't have that moment of self-realisation. No. They'll just say something more bluntly like, why don't they just get a job? Yeah.

I think maybe they've tried. Have they? Because I got a job. My dad gave me one. And then his friend who he has known for ages gave me a better one. And then, you know, I got the training there and I went back to another job that I got through another one of my dad's friends. So I don't know why aren't they doing the same thing. Yeah.

We asked you on our Instagram if you think older people are kinder than younger people or who's the kindest. Yeah, who is more kind? 60% of people said young people. Is that because of us? We're like, we're more kind. Do you think that's because it's all young people answering that? Yeah, I think so. Yeah.

I think so, and everybody considers themselves quite kind, don't they? Yeah. Yeah. More tolerant, right? I don't know. Yeah, there's that too as well, because that survey kind of didn't take that into account, did it? Tolerance and acceptance and things were a little different

to how it was back in their day, how they handle it. Fletchford and Megan's Audio Ninja Warrior. Yeah, it's time for Audio Ninja Warrior. It's like Ninja Warrior, but you just make sound effects with your mouth. You don't need to have abdominal strength. It's an Ninja Warrior, but you just make sound effects with your mouth. You don't need to have abdominal strength. It's an audio obstacle course. And today it is Amanda up against Shannon. Good morning, team.

Morning. All right. Okay, now, Shannon, we're just going to pop you into the cone of silence because, Amanda, you're up first. Shannon won't have an advantage by hearing the audio sound effects. Okay. You've just got to be able to make all the noises we give you, all the sounds, the fastest.

Okay. Are we ready? Yes. All right, here we go. Your time starts now. The sound Fletch will make when gyms finally reopen in Auckland. Woo-hoo! Okay, yeah, that'll do.

Sure. The noise a car makes when it drives past with the stereo too loud. Woo-hoo! Okay, yeah, they'll do. Sure. The noise a car makes when it drives past with the stereo too loud. Woo-hoo! Yes! I love it. I didn't get it.

I'm going to pause. I'm going to pause. Oh, oh. Because if you listen to the stipulation... You said the noise the car makes... ...when it drives past

with the stereo too loud. Yes. But you did say the noise the car makes......with the stereo too loud. I think But you did say the noise the car makes. With the stereo too loud. I think that's acceptable. I think that was acceptable. You two, I liked it.

I think it's acceptable. What did you think? Yeah. I think you're being a stickler here. Well, you know, there's a reason. All right, back into it. We're starting. The sound of being cold.

Yeah, that's good. Smoke alarm with a battery running flat. I'm just pausing in there. More of a smoke alarm than the smoke alarm battery going flat. You were just saying it's a single chirp. It's a, it's, yeah. Close, but not a cigar. Restart.

I'm going to give you another shot at it. Restart. Smoke alarm with a battery running flat. Yep. That's acceptable. The sound of a werewolf seeing the full moon. I like it. Is that it?

Yep, that's it. Yes. All right, Amanda. You've managed to get through the entire audio course there. We're going to pop you into the cone of silence now and bring Shannon in from the cone of silence. Shannon, are you ready for your audio Ninja Warrior course? Yep. Here we go.

Your time starts... Now, the sound Fletch will make when gyms finally reopen in Auckland. Fire. That's such a Fletch noise. The noise a car makes when it drives past with the stereo too loud.

Yes! The sound of being cold. Oh, yes. That's good stuff. A smoke alarm battery running flat. Yep, yep. Good job. The sound of a werewolf seeing the full moon.

Oh. Fantastic. Yes. Got it. All right, Shannon. We're going to bring Amanda back. Yes. Hello.

All right. Hello, Amanda. Shannon. Okay, let's look at our timings. There's about eight seconds in it today. Okay. But the winner of today's Audio Ninja Warrior at 35 seconds, Shannon, congratulations.

Oh, well done. Thank you. Hard luck, Amanda. Shannon, today you take out Audio Ninja Warrior. Well done. Thank you. ZM's Flesh Warner Megan. Play ZM.

ZM's $50,000 Secret Sound. Season 10. It's all thanks to Neon Watch TV series and movies handpicked for Kiwis by Kiwis on Neon. The current jackpot, $15,000 cash. We welcome Taylor. Good morning, Taylor. Good morning.

How are you? Good, good. Now, this is the secret sound. Is it wooden? Is it something springy? We don't know. That's what we're here to figure out. Soundkeeper Owls joins us From her socially distanced home

Away from the studio Taylor $15,000 What do you think it is? Okay so I think it is A guitar being Plugged into

An amplifier Okay So that would be like The headphone jack really really, eh? That thing. Yeah. Should I do that? Yeah, you've got a bit of a loose hole there, though, don't you?

Yeah, Megan always thinks I was making it up, but the other day she had to use my hole, and she said it was very loose. No, I knew you had a loose hole, but I said it's because you fiddle with it all the time. That's why it's loose. No, but I told you yours is a different sort of hole. Yours would be tight, even with this amount of fiddling,

the earphone jack hole. Are we still talking about those secrets, Dan? Yeah. Very visual. Taylor, please, get your mind out of the gutter. There's absolutely no way anyone else listening could have misinterpreted that. Yours is gold and mine's like black.

Megan, could you give us an example? Yours is a thick black plastic. Mine's a thin mine's like black. Megan, could you give us an example? Yours is a thick black plastic. Mine's a thin, thin black plastic. Should we do both and you can hear how loose his hole is? Okay, all right. Megan, go. Go with Megan's hole first. Oh.

Do that again. This is plugging in. And then... I feel like it needs to be into an amplifier, though. Like, the amplifier needs to be turned on. Oh, so you're saying it's a... A bit of a clunky. Okay, right.

Do you just want to give us an example of your loose headphone jack there? Oh, yeah, it goes straight in, doesn't it? There's not even any resistance. That's why it's loose. Alright, let's get into this, Owls. What do you think?

Okay, well Taylor, I will tell you now, I play guitar. I have an amp that's covering a hole in the wall, thanks to my sister doing it with a skateboard. Wait, so, but you live at home. Yeah. You've put a hole in your wall, but your landlord parents don't know about it. No, they do know about it.

Mum's just covered it with an amp. So it's just hiding. It's not an eyesore. So yes, I have it at home. It could have definitely been done for the secret sound. Taylor, have you been working with anyone to figure the sound out? No, not really. I did it to my partner last night.

But, yeah, I'm pretty much just working alone on this one. Okay. Solo. Lone wolf. Solo man. Lone wolf. I've even looked at the clues and they all kind of match up. Go on.

How so? Yeah, explain. Level three made me do it. So you're learning something new. Oh, yeah. With a guitar. By now, years later, we always buy a bloody instrument and we don't play it straight away, do we?

Yep, yep. That's true. Okay. Yep, they match up. Nice. In 10k, uh, 15k now, it'd be great to buy a whole lot of amps. But is it the secret sound? Taylor?

Yes, it is. It's not, sorry. Just a little last minute sway there. I think you'll find... Jedi mind tricks over the phone from Taylor. Taylor Hardluck again at 11 will give you the chance. All thanks to Neon $15,000, the current jackpot. Am I a bad person?

This is where people send us their correspondence. It could be anything to do with your life. This is a boyfriend that's in need of a bit of advice with a situation with his girlfriend. And then we all decide after we hear this advice and then that's just how you have to live your life, what the people decide.

That's the rules. That's an official ruling. So it starts, hey team, hoping you can give me some advice on an awkward sitch with the missus. Over lockdown, she took up knitting to kill the time. I think it helped with her mental health and all that. She was so proud of what she was making and then surprised me with my very own jersey.

I want to see a photo. There's a description. Here's the thing. It's hideous. Oh, I hope she see a photo. There's a description. Here's the thing. It's hideous. Oh, I hope she doesn't hear. It's bright green with a blue strip across the chest. It's bright green with a blue strip. I mean, it could have just been the weather.

I think it sounds neat. And now that we're allowed to catch up with a few mates, she's suggesting that I wear it. Yes. Do it. They're your friends. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I also can't have it suggested every time we leave the house.

Help. Well, I mean, the thing is it's getting warmer, so you're not going to have to wear this for much longer. But aren't we about to get like a big cold snap? Well, yeah, there's snow. Lucky he's got a jersey. There's snow in Queenstown at the moment and in South Ireland all over the

place the last couple of days, yes. But I'm just saying another week or two and then you're probably not going to need a jersey. She put hours into something. She put hours into something she's proud of. She taught herself a new skill and she's given

it to you. There's more at play here than what sounds already like a deliciously comfortable jersey. And a blue strip. She changed wool. Yeah. I've done some knitting in my life. I've never changed wool. She might have run out of the green and ordered some more and used

blue until the more green wool turned up. Could you? So just do it when you meet up with, like, close friends and give them a wee message first and be like, heads up. Don't comment on the jersey. Don't call it ugly. Just say it's nice. Where'd that awesome jersey come from?

Yeah. Send the back story. Yeah, don't say anything like, oh, where'd you get that from? Only give nice compliments. And then you get out of wearing it to more public settings. Yeah. Or just wear it. Embrace it. You've been given a gift.

Get it done. But there'd be people in this situation as well, people that have had a clothing gift that they don't like, whether it was made or bought. Yeah. And the partner's like, wear it. And you're like, why do you never wear that thing I bought you? If I was him, I'd wear it once or twice

and then it would mysteriously go missing or be eaten by moths. Buying something is one thing though, but this was made with love. Yeah, that's an epic. It would have taken her ages. An investment. I say wear it, love it, learn to love it.

And it's obviously not his vibe at all. Well, we want to take your calls on this. 0800 dials at Emerson number. You can text as well, 9696. So is he a bad person for not wanting to wear the, in his words, hideous green jersey that his girlfriend knitted for him. And maybe you've been in this situation where someone gifted you something and your partner and you didn't know what to do

because they wanted you to wear it or use it and you're like, no. Yeah. How do you get out of that situation? Should he be honest with her and just say, hey, look, I don't like it? No, no, no, no, no. No, that's not an option at all. Honestly, very rarely is honesty the best policy. No, no, no, no. No, that's not an option at all. Very rarely is honesty the best policy.

All right. Am I a bad person? Wow. Okay, this is great. So we've received a message from a guy who was the recipient of a hand-knitted jersey. That she has crafted during lockdown and it helped her mental health. Don't forget that. He thinks it's hideous. It's bright green. It's got a blue stripe across it.

He doesn't want to wear it and she keeps suggesting that he does. He says he doesn't want to hurt her feelings but I can't have it suggested every time I leave the house. What's he going to do? Well, it's chilly outside. Does anyone need to take a jumper? Lucky I

knitted you that jersey. Anna, what do you think? Should he just wear the jersey or should he just tell her he hates it? I think he should just wear the jersey, to be honest. I've been in the same sort of situation where I had a colleague actually

buy me a one-piece. I beg your pardon? I've been in a situation where someone actually bought me a one-piece. I beg your pardon? I actually had a situation where someone actually bought me a one-piece. A one-piece what? Swimsuit? Yeah. I'm just going to get our HR department on the phone. Hold on, I'm going to see if I'm allowed to do this.

Wait, a swimsuit? I feel like you're allowed to do that. Who at your work bought you a swimsuit? No, it's a one-piece. It's a one-piece, like one of those jumpsuits sort of things. Oh, not a swimsuit. I've seen a swimsuit. You're talking more like a ski suit.

No, it's not a ski suit. You know how you have your onesies, except this one's kind of short? Gotcha. Oh, okay. And you hate it. It looks terrible because I'm quite a tall person. Yeah. Me too.

So when I put on a onesie and pyjamas, it cuts me right up the middle. Yeah. You can see the genitals. This ended up looking like I had a camel toe, and she wanted me to wear it at work. Megan's lost it. Well, I did wear it to work. I just covered it up a little bit.

Did they not run a tape measure up you before they bought you this? No, they guessed my size. They guessed, wow. They weren't like, that Anna's taller than your average lady. I need to get a long in the body jumpsuit. Anna, thank you.

Donna, you've been in this exact situation. Yes, I have. Yes. So you knitted yourself. You knitted what, your husband or your boyfriend something? No, my husband. I think it was for our first anniversary. I knitted my husband a beautiful jumper.

And I had to, I caught transport to and from work. So at that stage I was working at foodstuff. And so I knitted it on the back of the truck every morning. On the way home, I knitted it at my lunchtime. So how long do you reckon it would have taken you to knit it? Probably about eight months because I'd planned it and I had to do it in secret and everything else. Oh.

It was beautiful. And I'd never done cable before. And I taught myself how to do cable. Lovely. And it wasn't very, you know, in all honesty, yes, it was a bit stretched and long. But it was the effort, the time, the blood, sweat and tears that went into it.

And I presented it to him on our anniversary and he hated it and it hung in a, coating it in his wardrobe forever until I just took it out and packed it away. He never, ever wore it and I've never knitted suits. Was that him in the background just chiming in? No, that's my bird. No, no, that was my third husband. What are you up to now?

Number two. Number two, right. I thought you traded him in for a bird. Yeah. I probably should have. But yeah, yeah. He should wear it because it's the thought that goes into it. Like I say, I admit it was probably a little bit long and stretched, but I really put a lot of effort into that and a lot of thought. It wasn't just I'll go and buy something from the shop.

I hadn't listened before and I'd certainly never done cable. And I made the job really hard for myself but it was beautiful. I think I kept you in a box for months. Okay, so if he's listening

to you now, your takeaway is wear it just at least a couple of times so she feels good. Absolutely. Okay.

That's all you've got to do. Yep. Brilliant. Make it an around the home. Do you want to know the most disgusting thing? And Donna, is Donna still there? Yeah. Yeah, I'm here.

Do you know what lots of people are telling us to do, Donna? What? Tell them to give it a hot wash. Oh. How horrible. No, wear it once or twice. It's not going to change your life. You know, you wear it once or twice and it'll mean a lot to somebody else.

That's all. There she is. There she is. And that person nits again. And then we give it a hot wash, and then after two weeks. Well, if you don't know, apparently a hot wash or woolen jumper will just shrink right down and only be fit for children. Oh, God. Okay.

All right. Well, thank you very much. Thanks for sharing. Message is in. I hope you do this again. I love Donna. Maybe. All right. Thanks, guys. very much. Thanks for sharing. I hope you do this again. I love Donna. Maybe.

All right, thanks, guys. No worries. Thanks, Donna. She cut us off. She's had enough. We go back to Donna. She's like, I don't have time for them. I've said my piece. Somebody else said, if she needed that to boost her mental health,

you should wear it proudly as someone that was willing to admit she wasn't in a great place and she needed to find an outlet. Yeah. And someone said spill Yeah, everyone that's texting in about the hot wash. Yeah.

Someone said spill something right down the front of it. Battery acid. And then well that'll go through it. Battery acid. And then she'll be like

it's alright I'll fix up the holes with a different colour. Somebody else said if you wouldn't wear a knitted jersey for someone, I guess that also answers the question, would you take a bullet for me? Well, that's not the same, is it? No, that's really different. What they're saying is if he won't wear a knitted jersey for her,

he's not going to put himself in the line of fire for her. Yeah, okay. They're not willing to, you guys get in this? Yeah, okay. Yeah. They're not willing to wait. You guys get in this? Yeah. He's not willing to make the ultimate sacrifice. Get rid of him.

Yeah. That's what they're saying. CDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. Fact of the day, about alpacas. Okay. I know people love alpacas, but aren't they a menace to look after and have? Well, they've evolved to live at high altitude and cold temperatures, and you can bring them to New Zealand and it's like humid and long. If you don't get them, they've got skin issues.

You've got to take them to a dermatologist. It's hard to get them into the Dermalogica store in the mall as well. They like to kick up a right fuss. But apparently, I've just done a little bit more than your standard research on this fact. And this story pops up around this time of the year, leading into Christmas. Because in Britain, there is a family that,

they raise turkeys for Christmas meals. So getting towards this time of the year, people start going and picking their turkeys, maybe putting a little colored collar around their ankle, and then one day will come back and brutally murder them for eating. Oh, God. But in the meantime, they don't want them to be brutally murdered by foxes. Now, if you've ever read Fantastic Mr. Fox

or watched the Wes Anderson claymation stop animation version of Fantastic Mr. Fox, you'll know that foxes love eating turkeys. Goodness. So in Britain, it's a massive problem with foxes getting in to the hen house, or in this case, the turkey house. Yeah. And causing a right kerfuffle. This family who owned the coppice traditional turkey farm near Maidenhead in the UK said

they were losing hundreds of turkeys a year to foxes. When somebody said to them, have you thought about getting alpacas? So in 2015, they bought a herd of alpacas that they saw for sale because alpacas are ferociously protective of turkeys. Why?

Are they like best friends? My further research has said these are two very compatible animals. Okay, like a Libra and a Virgo? Jeez, she'd like that. She loved that, didn't she? It's just not where I expected you to go with that. Yeah, wildly unexpected.

She really loved that. So from what I can see, the turkeys and the alpacas live in some sort of harmonious balance. Like the turkeys pick any sort of like skin, like fleas or any bugs off the alpacas live in some sort of harmonious balance, like the turkeys pick any sort of like skin, like fleas or any bugs off the alpacas. Right. They can also skirt around and like fossick through the alpaca poos. Yeah. And they can eat the bugs and stuff that are under there.

Right. But in further investigation, it's just the fact that alpacas are like ferociously territorial and protective of whoever they're sharing a paddock with against any sort of predator. Wow. So it's the same with ducks around the world.

There's photos of alpacas with like ducks. There's photos of alpacas with chickens. Just like, these are my mates in my paddock. This is, and they evolved to be super protective with chickens. Just like, these are my mates in my paddock. And they evolved to be super protective of their young, like the creas? Is that what baby alpacas are called?

I love how you look at us. Yeah, sure. Absolutely they are. Baby alpacas are called creas. They're ferociously protective of the predators that they came up with, some of which were like foxes. And small sort of like, smaller. You're right, which were like foxes. And small sort of like smaller. You're right, you weirdo.

Fantastic. And so do you want to know how they protect them? Yeah. Do you want to know what they do to foxes? What? They will corner them and kick them. And like they'll all be standing on them. Then there's even like footage of them using their necks, so the alpaca

necks, to crush foxes. They like push down on them with their head and put all their weight onto their neck. Wow. And it's got to the point where this family, who have them protecting turkeys, have said they've seen a fox get in and the alpacas will all just turn

and stare at the fox and the fox will be like, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Just, I'm leaving. Just thought I'd ask. Just thought I'd ask. Just thought I'd ask. Yeah, and they'd leave. Wow, okay.

So today's fact of the day is there is a flock of turkeys that will be somebody's Christmas dinner that are in the meantime protected by some bodyguard alpacas. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. So the government will announce today Northland and Waikato level changes. And this comes along with news that a top expert says that New Zealand needs 95% vaccine rates

before even thinking of Christmas freedom. Just let that settle in for a second. Yeah, we're away from that, aren't we? So, the last week, vaccine numbers have been pretty good. Yeah. You know, like daily numbers. There was a daily number that blew my mind the other day. I think it was like, I want to say 50,000, but I could be wrong.

No, they've had daily numbers more. So this weekend, Super Saturday, they're aiming, they've got the capacity to vaccinate on Saturday 100,000 people at least in New Zealand. They could probably keep going too because they'll have the fridges stocked. And that is why they're launching this weekend, the Super Saturday. Vaxathon, Vaxathon. Vaxathon, Vaxathon. Our first ever Vaxathon.

So like the old telethons on TV Where they'd go all day And you'd ring up and pledge some money And Simon Barnett would eat a raw egg or something That's what happened Yeah, yeah I was trying to think of what other 80s and 90s New Zealand celebrities

Always got Steve Parr from Sale of the Century We're going back now And you'd always have your All Blacks involved And you were allowed to stay out late Britty's always got Steve Parr from Sale of the Century. We're going back now. Yeah, and you'd always have your All Blacks involved. And you were allowed to stay out late. So I believe TV3 will be screening this. Maori television.

Yeah, Maori television. There'll be a free view channel as well. Yes. And online. It'll be broadcasting live from Kaitaia, Otara, Rotorua, New Plymouth, Christchurch and Porirua. Right. And going from midday to 8pm. Now, the top... Give me something to do.

Midday to 8. Because it's become a bit of a competition in New Zealand. The top town, fully vaccinated, 67% of all residents, Dunedin. Get it! Yeah, and then one dose is 21.5, so that leaves only 11.5% of the Dunedin region unvaccinated. Wow. Which is great stuff.

Cool, cool. And as we've seen in New South Wales yesterday, Freedom Day, they're starting to let people that are vaccinated out and about into bars and into the hairdressers. Kmart went nuts. So yeah, I mean, that's the thing. We've just got to get vaccinated to get out of here because all the statistics are showing everybody that's been in hospital, I think out of all the hospitalisations in this latest outbreak,

only three were vaccinated. So it's your best bet to stay out of hospital. Absolutely, absolutely. And in the UK at the moment, 20% of those in hospital are pregnant women. Do you remember that stat? Yeah, one in five people in hospital were unvaccinated pregnant women. And not all are anti it, but some were hesitant due to their pregnancies.

But then everybody that we've talked to, all the specialists in the area and the survey from around the world of women that have been vaccinated while pregnant have shown absolutely nothing. But if you get COVID when you're pregnant, there is an effect on your baby. And so the headline that they, just to clarify that,

unvaccinated pregnant women in the UK make up 20% of critically ill COVID patients. Critically ill. That's, yeah, that's pretty scary. So yeah, if you've got anyone in your life that needs a nudge this weekend,

get them along. Get them nudged. There'll be people as well at the vaccine centres they can talk to if they want some, you know, advice from a medical professional. If you're hesitant, talk to a medical professional. A health line are doing. You can ring health line, right? I believe so, yeah.

And ask some questions if you've got any. Actually, there's a COVID vaccine health line. 0800 28 29 26. I'm going to say it again because I believe it's of the utmost importance. Absolutely. 0800 28 29 26. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. I'm quite a big fan of New Zealand Bird of the Year.

Run by Forest and Bird New Zealand. And I think every year I love how people will throw a very creative amount of passion behind a bird that you may never have heard of. Why do we as a nation get so into this? Is it because that year the Russians tried to hack it? We were like, oh, no, you don't. I think every year there's some sort of hacking situation.

That is weird. And then everyone was in, what was the year, the Kedudu? That was, oh, that's always my favourite. Kedudu is a great bird. Is that like two or three years ago now? Yeah. But still, hard to beat that. So here's something to throw a cat amongst the pigeons

or a bat amongst the pukeko's. Because the long-tailed bat, Pekapekatoroa, is now eligible in New Zealand's Bird of the Year competition. It is a bat. It is a mammal. It is not a bird. It does not lay eggs. That's not on.

And I may be wrong here, but I think even our little long-tailed bat isn't even that great a flyer. I mean, I know we have birds that don't fly. Famously, the kiwi. Yeah. The kakapo. Yeah, that's not a prerequisite for the Bird of the Year.

But I'm just saying it's got to have something. It's got wings, but they're skin-covered. Yeah, it's not a birdquisite for the bird of the year. But I'm just saying it's got to have something. It's got wings, but they're skin covered. Yeah, it's not a bird though, is it, technically? No, it's technically very much not a bird. Is there any press on why it's been included? Well, are they trying to give it some good press after the whole Wuhan thing? Yeah, bats get blamed for a lot of plagues as carriers. But no word if it was a bat that kicked off COVID.

I think that was just the easiest thing to blame. It's a theory, isn't it? Yeah, they might have had it and they might have been living in caves up there. But, yeah, they're saying they need special attention and this is a good way of like, you know, we hear about a new bird every year. There's a bird I've never seen one of those and it's really rare. Yeah, run a bat of the year

competition. This isn't your domain. We don't have enough bats to warrant an entire bat of the year competition. Well, then tough. They're drumming up some controversy in the bird of the year just so we can talk about this bat. Just so we can talk about it. They've got us. So the bat's environment,

its habitat is under threat. Oh, it's a cute little fluffy one. Yeah, it's a pretty cute little bat. Hi, buddy. Do you want to touch it? No, I don't want it flying near me either. I want to feel what its skin,

I want to feel what its wing skin feels like. Oh, yuck. Just to be like, that's what that feels like. Do you ask it first, please? Oh, well, of course I'm going to ask permission. And that's how pandemics start. Touch people like you, you just want to touch a bat. And then I smell it and then I taste it.

Okay. I give the bat a little lick. Patient zero, Vaughan Smith. I'll be like, worth it.