ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 13th September 2021

Episode Date: September 12, 2021

Christmas Decorations  Fortnite  Jackass  Top 6: Danish Vax  Eggs  Mr Toyboys Haircut  Vaughans Car  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Hey! ZM's Fleetch, Vaughan and Megan. Hello, welcome to the Fleetch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe, barista-made coffee available from drive-thru and McDelivery at level 3. And also dine-in at level 2. I feel like this weekend just been, I did nothing but eat. Yeah, it was a level 4 eating bonanza.

Oh, Friday was a bowel bun extravaganaganza because I got vaccinated and I was like, this is worth celebrating. But then rather than just getting one type for bao, why not? I got duck, I got pork, and I got beef cheek and had a multitude of bao options, all of which are sensationally delicious. And the multi-stacker steam baskets that I got from the Taiping supermarket chain, which is amazing. You can get up to 10-inch big steamers.

Can you? Yeah, they come in all different sizes. Do you put that on the top of a pot? On the top of a pot. Oh, no, yeah, boiling water. So you'd need a pot of a similar size. I got an 8-inch, and that was perfect because that actually was the same size as the one I had at home.

Sometimes you don't need too much more, you know? No, I get carried away with size. I'm a bit of a size queen when it comes to these sorts of things. I know. But then that was good. Had leftovers and then made our own pizza dough on Saturday and made pizzas with the leftover meat from the bow, which was so good. Amazing.

Good stuff. And then today, Megan finally brings in A signature TB That stands for Toy boy Not tuberculosis Chicken cranberry quiche He's outdone himself Pass on my thanks

I will do I'm just like Fuck it Yeah same Fuck it now Like I don't know Blah

Georgia Who does the show here During the day She's missed Bloody fitness at the moment I know She's keeping herself accountable And I'm like, fucking stop it

Fucking stop it Because then we'll get out of this And she'll come into work all svelte And we'll be like, fuck you Podgy shit. Yeah. Thanks, Rachel. Goodness. Had a little bubble.

Had a little bubble. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fleach, Fawn and Megan. Moreno. Do you want to know how my day got off to a weird start? How? Well, I was about a minute on my scooter to work when I saw a drunken man furiously masturbating in the central city. Well, you didn't tell us this pre-show.

I can see why you kept this to yourself. I was like, where was he doing it? Like, um, outside a shop. I was like, oh, that guy's going for a wee weird, like, you don't normally see. Oh, was he standing? You don't normally see drunk people. Sit down, take a light off. In level four.

Was he standing? And then, like, as I scooted, I was on the other side of the road. As I scooted past, I was like, oh, okay, he's not weeing. That's, yeah, and so. Wow. That was my day. That's just been my day so far. What a start.

You're a lockdown ace, making us all a bit crazy. Yeah. Hey, but I'm not masturbating in a bloody mat door, am I? Everyone acts differently under pressure. Are you saying that you... I'm a park bench kind of guy. I'm going to find myself a nice park bench, cushion that end of the headrest. I'd be in the cover of darkness.

I would have gone behind the shop. Don't be ashamed. You are in the cover of darkness. It was, what, ten minutes to five? No, there was like a bright spotlight on him. I was like, this guy is outrageous. It's my time to shine. Oh, my Lord.

Heavens to Betsy. Well, news yesterday that another big, huge batch of vaccines are flying our way, but this time from Denmark. Lovely. Yeah, so the top six signs you're getting the Danish vaccine. Vaughan, that's a little lazy. Didn't you do the top six signs that way you got the Spanish Pfizer last week? I did list the years, but those are two different countries with wildly different cultures.

So strap in. Yeah. Next on the show, Megan, something that I know you love doing. It might be a bit too early for you to do this, but there's a reason you should do this one thing. Okay. Now? Now.

I mean, you could go home and do it. Is that one thing, having a wang in the store? Don't say that word. Next time there's one of those stories where shop owners are like, we're putting up devices that stop loitering. It sprays water or, you know, plays music or something. I'm going to be like, okay. All for it.

Yeah, because they're like, people urinate in our doorway. Now I'm going to know that other stuff happens there too. It does. It does. Yeah! ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan. Well, a study has been done. The McEwen Clinic.

And Steve McEwen is the guy that runs this place. He's a therapist or something. Psychologist. Name your clinic after yourself. What would you name your clinic? We could really delve into that. Couldn't we, Steve? Yeah.

I was just trying to get inside his head. Would you call yours the Vaughan Smith Clinic? Yeah. Vaughan's Clinic. Wild narcissist. At least you'll admit it, though. Vaughan Smith's greatest clinic ever. Sure.

Well, they've released a study that shows that putting up Christmas decorations, putting up all your Christmas stuff early makes you happier. I told you. I always put it up on the last day of October. Because then I'm like, woo, take over to November. You know it's October in like two weeks. I know. I know.

And what, daylight saving is near? Two. Two weeks yesterday. Yeah. I tell you what, it's light in the mornings already. I woke up at the weekend and I was like, oh, I've managed to sleep in. And then I checked the clock, it was like six.

Yeah. And I was like, meh. But yeah, light outside. We're like gaining like five minutes of daylight a day or something at the moment. You're really honking along now. Well, he says those who put up their decorations earlier are having the last laugh

because those that get involved in the Christmas spirit enjoy the festive period for longer. That's why I honestly say to you all the time, I don't know why people get so upset about Christmas. But it's diluted. Because I'm like into it. I prefer a concentrated Christmas. Like mid-December, get it up.

Yeah, yeah. So in a world full of stress and anxiety, people like to associate the things that make them happy, and Christmas does that. Decorations and putting up all the Christmas stuff gives you and invokes strong feelings of childhood. What if you had a miserable childhood, though?

Because my parents' Christmas tree was horrible. It's like always on a lean. And mum put up our shitty decorations that we made out of toilet rolls. That's why I'm so like full on about my Christmas decorations. Because we had like toilet paper. And like a Santa that the weevils had eaten. The weevils got into Santa. And it was like dangling beard.

I was like, Christ, when I get older, I'm really going to get some decorations. I always had some mice nibbled decorations because it was those decorations that you made out of like, essentially like a biscuit recipe. Yeah. But then you baked it and it went to like stone. Yeah. But mice would be like, I believe we can get some nutrients out of that. Sharpen their teeth on it. Yeah.

So maybe you should go home and put your Chrissy decorations up. Well, some people did it, didn't they? Just a couple of weeks ago, it wasn't Hilary Bowery on the crusade to do it. I tell you what, if we're staying in level four, it's happening. Oh, we're 100% staying in level four. Okay, Christmas trees are on. Get it up. Blow the dust off the asbestos center and get them up.

Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. If you're a famous celeb and you have a fake Insta or Finsta, like a private Instagram account, you should never tell anyone that you do because that's exactly what Matt Damon did. He did an interview with GQ and he said, I have 76 followers and I've done 40 posts since 2013. You forget though that he's like 50, right?

How old is Matt Damon? Yeah, he's 50. He's just turned 50 or 51 or something? No, he's 50, yeah. Okay. Wow. So, I mean, that's a bit of a dad move. And so everyone's like, okay, challenge accepted.

And someone said, I'm actually embarrassed. It took me an hour to find Matt Damon's Finster, but I found it. His username is OhDamnMatt, which is an anagram. Of Matt Damon. Of Damon, yeah, which is actually quite clever.

But because he gave out details of like how many followers he has and how many posts, yeah, he was able to be found. But yeah, only 76 followers. I reckon I could find it in less than an hour. You'd just search all of his friends, right? Because

celebrities themselves don't follow on their private pages, don't follow many people. Or do you think it would only be celebrities' other private Instagrams that would follow him? Well, yeah, once you find one, you know, and you can see who Matt Damon's following, you'd be able to find some other. But he was private. He was private though, wasn't he? Yeah. So you know, and you can see who Matt Damon's following, you'll be able to find some other.

But he was private. He was private though, wasn't he? Yeah. So you wouldn't be able to see who he's following. Oh, right. Okay, gotcha, gotcha. But you can see that Chris Hemsworth is one of the people that follows him. Okay.

And Pedro Pascal. I like him. So maybe it's Chris Hemsworth's public account that follows him. Maybe that's how people. Chris Hemsworth. I'm just looking how many's Chris Hemsworth public account that follows him. Chris Hemsworth. I'm just looking how many people Chris Hemsworth follows. 451. Okay. Can you search if Odam Matt is in his

followers? O-D-A-M-N. O-D-A-M-N. And see if that comes up. Yep. First one. There it is. So that's how. So he now has, yeah, he's got 40 posts, he's got 76 followers, and he's following 113 people. Should I follow him? He won't accept me that way.

About 5 million requests. Yeah, yeah. Those really annoying message requests as well from people who you don't follow have messaged you. Hey Matt Damon, I really liked you in the Bourne series. Can we be friends? But you can't click on like his, yeah, the following. Yeah.

Silly sausage. But yeah, he hasn't done many posts. And like he posts pictures apparently of his kids and stuff. So you can understand why it's private. He's only got 76 friends. Those are people that he's accepting. Yeah, that's true. Yeah.

Chris Hemsworth is one of them. I would just love to see who he accepted, but you can't even see that info. All right, 622. Next, a mother and son share a profession. Okay. That might not be that weird if you come from like a family of lawyers or whatever.

Yeah. But this is a new profession. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. Mother and son share a profession, I said before. He is 15. Yeah. She's 58. Okay. And they are professional

Fortnite players. 58-year-old mum? And like, she's not one of those 58-year-olds when you hear their age, you're like, oh, my God. That's amazing. I thought you were in your 30s. Yeah.

She straight up looks like a 58-year-old mum. Yeah. A British 58-year-old mum. She let him leave school at 15 to concentrate on the game, and he's made more than half a million pounds. I was going to say, like, you would, because some of these gamers are making absolute bank. Yeah.

So she said, yeah, I let him leave school. And she now has a contract with Dubai-based esports firm Galaxy Racer. And she has to produce content around the game, which includes live streaming her playing it. Yeah. So she's got her own setup. But she even sits at the, you know how mums, when mums sit at the computer, they have the chair on an angle and then they

fold their leg over like that and so they're kind of facing away and then they twist at the hip and they've got the mouse like this. That's even how she's sitting when she's like getting ready to play. Right. So she must be really good. It doesn't kind of

say, she's not playing because she's really good. She's playing because it's this really high profile player's mum. Yeah. And he might have been like, hey, my mum's going to leave me in leave school, but you guys have got to pay her too. She's been putting in the hours, though, by the looks of it. She has been. Her longest streak, she said, is 18 hours straight, only

taking short breaks to make cups of tea or use the bathroom between games. 18 hours. That's absolute madness. Wow. Wow. Also, she must be alright. She's not hiding in bushes like me. Alright, look, you can be as

good as one and still hide in a bush. Still find myself hiding in a bush still find myself hiding in bushes all the time yeah but she's yeah I haven't got a ranking or anything for her but she's

not the only parent in this game apparently some of the other like young professional players have got their parents involved as well

but I guess it's that sweet thing of the parents like well they're making her familiar maybe I can get in on a little bit of this. And then like, if your mum's playing 18 hours a day, she's not going to tell you

to get off, is she? Yeah, alright, off the computer. But you just played 18 hours straight. Yeah. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. Somebody has worked out the total cost of all jackass hospital bills over the last, and it's been,

20 years. God. They're not still doing this. Yeah. I've got a new movie coming out. I've just got an attack by a shark or something. I've got a new movie coming out. So add that to the bill. Have they got the shark attack on there? There's an alligator

attack, but no shark attack. I think that was... The alligator one was where they bit the bum, right? So they've worked out, and this is a, I guess it would be quite a conservative estimate, $24 million in medical expenses over their careers. Johnny Knoxville alone, because I just searched how old he is, he turned 50 this year. Is he?

Yeah, and he looks 50 too. Well, Johnny Knoxville is unsurprisingly the highest. Individually. Individually for expenses. A total of $8.66 million. Now, the alligator bite added $100,000, but it was the $2.5 million worth of care for a brain hemorrhage he suffered when filming Jackass Forever.

Oh, my God. That's the one that's coming out this year, isn't it? Jackass Forever 2022, yeah, next year. How are they still getting insurance? I don't know. Surely they're not. Surely not. $4 million for 16 concussions,

$300,000 for a broken ankle, and $120,000 for a crotch injury. So they reckon that with the shows, all the stunt performers, the unreported injuries, the tally's more likely to be $38 million. Gee. For the entire, 79 injuries in total

for six members of the Jackass team. So when you take into account the unreported and the any stunt people, although they did most of it themselves, yeah, they reckon it could be close to $38 million. But you know, stunt people need to be insured. Like who's insuring that show? I'm guessing their insurance bill is quite a lot.

Johnny Knoxville's got a 25-year-old daughter. I don't their insurance bill is quite a lot. Johnny Knoxville's got a 25-year-old daughter. I don't want to be ageist, but I just feel like at 50, should he still be doing that to his body? I watched something years ago when he would have been in his early 40s and he talked about how wrecked his body was.

I think in this next movie they've got a lot of like, in the trailer there's a lot of younger people that I don't recognise where I just feel like they were probably like kids when Jackass was massive and now they're older and they're like, we'll do anything, Johnny Knoxville. And he's like, you sure will.

Well, Jackass Forever, Feb 4, 2022, is when that's out if you're still into seeing 50-year-olds gun-staple their scrotes. Go for it. Knock yourself out. From the Panoramic ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there.

We've just ordered half a million doses of the COVID-19 Pfizer vaccine from the Danish. Yes, thanks Denmark. Oh, I should Google how to say thanks in Danish. How to say thanks in Danish. Also, I'm going to need my

sound up for one of these. Tak. Tak. Tak. Tak. Tak. Tak. You. It's like tak. Tak you. With a k. Tak. No, that sounds offensive. Tak. Well, thank you. Tak. I mean, they have sold us, sold them to us. It's like ta Tak you With a k Tak No that sounds offensive Tak Tak Thank you

Tak I mean they have sold us Sold them to us Oh yeah but they didn't have to We aren't paying Oh no okay so thank you is Tak skado he Tak skado he

Thank you Yeah that's thank you Hey good Vax numbers over the weekend in Auckland Yay Good I think people are sick of lockdown Go get Vax numbers over the weekend in Auckland. Yay. Good. I think people are sick of lockdown. Go get Vax. There's the park and ride out at Auckland Airport. They've used that big park and ride.

You can just drive through. You don't need an appointment. If you've been to since International Travel Ground to a halt, it's pretty empty. Pretty empty. They've got the space. There is one out west. I want to say the Trust Arena.

I could be wrong on that one. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you can just drive and you don't need an appointment. Also, over the weekend, I just want to give a mention to this. If you go to the Book My Vaccine website, there is, if you just scroll down a little bit, there's an availability map. Oh, right.

So you can zoom in on where you live and see, like, neighbouring suburbs and stuff. So you can put in your address and it shows you all the appointments between 1-7 days, 8-14 days. You can do this anywhere in the country. And yeah, I'm looking at this map in New Zealand. There are appointments pretty much in every town or city in the next 7 days.

So you can't be online saying there's no vaccines. There is. And more places coming online. People cancel their appointments, so just keep an eye on that. Yeah. Get bloody vaccinated because we're all sick of being level four. Very sick of it. So the Pfizer vaccine from Denmark.

The Danes have sent us half a mil. You could get one of those. And here are the top six signs you've got the Danish Pfizer. They touch down like Wednesday, Thursday by the sounds of it. In a refrigerator. Number six, you've got a hankering for some herring. Be it smoked, fried, pickled, breaded or charred. The Danes love their herring.

Although it's not their national dish. Their national dish is a crispy pork dish. Oh. They love their pork. It was the Danes that bred when their flag got banned. Yeah. Because they got taken over. They bred a pig with a cross on the side.

Because you know how their flag is red and white with a white cross? They bred, you Google the Danish protest pig. Oh. A band with a thing down the side. It was like their protest to not being able to have their flag. Number five on the list of the top six signs. You've got the Danish Pfizer. You feel like a Viking.

You put on a hat with some horns on it, but you're a drinking, singing Viking. Not so much the pillaging and murdering. More of a cycling, smiling Viking. Yeah, nice. You know, everybody's Viking light. The good parts of the Viking. Without the murdering parts. Number four The good parts of the Viking. Viking light, yeah.

Without the murdering parts. Number four on the list of the top six signs, you've got the Danish Pfizer. When you're picking up some beers, you're drawn to the Carlsbergs and the Tuborgs. But you really just want to have a peach schnapps. A peach schnapps for breakfast. Do they do the peach schnapps?

They do schnapps. Oh, okay. All times of the day, you can have a pellet cleansing schnapps for breakfast. Do they do the peach schnapps? They do schnapps. Oh, okay. All times of the day, you can have a pellet cleansing schnapps for breakfast. It's no stopping the Danes. Number three on the list of the top six signs, you've got the Danish Pfizer. You're growing taller. You're getting blonder.

And you really want to bust out a red and white football uniform and sing. Is this a national anthem? Is it? No, it's their football song. Oh, okay. We are red. I was going to say, this would be the most poppy national anthem I've ever heard. No, I don't. I didn't do the national anthem.

I did their football song. Okay. This is apparently like a massive Danish hit. Right. Shazzy. Side by side. Yeah, nice. We are red.

We are white. You know, football. Yeah, football stuff. Number two on the list of the top six signs, you've got the Danish schweizer. You're in the mood to pick apart the Disney animated movie The Little Mermaid because it's got historical inaccuracies and that's not at all how it goes. Well, yeah, they've got the famous statue of the Little Mermaid in Copenhagen. She was Danish.

There's no way her crab friend would have had a Jamaican accent. Sebastian. Sebastian. Yeah, he wouldn't have been like, Andadasi! He just wouldn't have been. He might have been Russian, but he wouldn't have been Jamaican. And number one on the list of the top six

signs, you got the Danish Pfizer. You can complete a complex Lego model without the instruction booklet. You can stand in Lego without it hurting, and you don't need to use your teeth to separate two pieces of Lego stuck together. That is the sign of a true Dane. A true Dane. That is today's

Top 6. Talking with a friend at the weekend who asked me if I had a photo of me with hair. Okay. There's not many on. I've seen one. Because even when I had hair I always wore a hat.

Yeah. And then so all the photos I have with hair are actual photos pre-Facebook. Like a heart printed photo on some Kodak paper. Yeah. Always went for a matte, a matte finish. Oh, yeah. And a white frame? Did you go for a white frame? Yeah, I loved a white frame.

You pay a little extra. Sure. You get the quality product. But the only photos I had of me as a kid with like cute blonde hair because as long time listeners of the show

will remember I was in the running to be the new Milky Bar kid at an early stage of my life. Well, I... In the running. We entered the competition. Yeah.

Got a free Milky Bar in the mail. Yeah. Well, did you get a tape? We got a blank tape. Blank tape? What for? Blank audio cassette. Did you enter to be the Milky Bar in the mail Did you get a tape? We got a blank tape Blank tape? What for? Blank audio cassette Did you enter to be the Milky Bar kid?

I had glasses, I was a shoo-in You weren't blonde I was light brown You weren't even blonde You had to be blonde That's racism Sure the chocolate was white But why did the kid have to be?

Oh, the Milky Bar. Milky Bar wouldn't get away with running a competition like that now. No, no. I tell you what, the Milky Bar kid, people remember that. They don't remember the Garner kid, do they? The 85% Garner kid. That was controversial when they began casting. And the Dairy Milk kid.

Yeah. It was controversial. Controversial. At the very least. Different time. Different time. Oh, the 80s were wild. It was when I said to my friend, I've got this

photo of me with hair. He's like, oh, I don't have many photos of me as a baby or as a kid. Oh, yeah? Because I'm the youngest sibling and they had just kind of gotten over that by then. Isn't that sad? How many children are in the family? The youngest of four. Four of the same gender?

I think three, probably, I think three guys, one girl maybe. Oh, okay. Or two girls, I don't know. So they're the youngest dude and there's three older dudes and they've already got their girl, so this guy's possibly a mistake anyway. So you don't take photos of your mistakes, do you? You don't put a photo up

of the cake that you buggered up icing, do you? Oh, Jesus. You compare them to it. So if there's no photos of you as a child, it's because you were an afterthought or a mistake? Or you're the youngest of, like, many. Yeah. But it was just about ticking off another, you know, another number for mum.

She's like, well, I'll get eight. But I couldn't. I can't stop at seven. What about those really religious families where there's like 24 of them? Like, would they even bother after the first couple? No, just stop naming them. Just stop naming them. Like, you're not raising that.

The other kids are. Yeah. Is your brother all right? Yeah. Self-raising. Like the flower. Yeah. Just roll them in that flower, actually.

But I couldn't relate being from a family of like just me and my brother. And you've got three. You're the middle child. Yeah, we've all got... My sister at one stage claimed to not have as many photos as everybody else, but when she was like this wildly dramatic 11-year-old girl,

she took all of her photos of her out of the family album and made her own album. Oh my God. I know. And then lost it. Oh, okay. So that's why. There's no photos of me as a baby. Mum's like, look at the blank spots throughout all the other albums.

You made your own and then lost it. But also, she would have been the first Smith girl. Yes. Female. So there would have been lots of photos of her. Yeah. Oh, no, there's been lots of photos of all of us. Well, you would have been the one with the least, maybe.

Least photos? No, I was... Are you kidding me? Look at this face. Photogenic. They were like, that baby, A, came out chubby baby. Yeah. Cute, chubby baby with a big smile.

One. I have lots of photos of bears and baby. Yeah. Toddler. Cute as you can be. Freckles. Freckles. Still chubby?

Light brown, curly hair. No. Oh, not chubby. You lost the chubs. Lost the chubs. Still chubby? Light brown, curly hair. No. Oh, okay. You lost the chubs. Lost the chubs. Okay. Started school. Again, retained the cuteness.

Hair was even curlier. Freckles came in a little bit more. Okay. Very photogenic child. And then I got fat. And quite hairy. You got quite hairy too, didn't you? And I got glasses.

And questionable fashion. I'm a real hit with the ladies. Hey, mum. Oh, you are. You're a handsome boy. Let me get a photo of that handsome boy. So I want to ask this morning, were you the forgotten youngest sibling?

Yeah. 0800-ARS at M. We want to take your calls now. 9696. Because what if there were a bunch and you were in the middle? Yeah. Like if you had six siblings and you were like third or fourth, you're boring. You're like nothing. Or the third

boy. You've got to really act up. You've got to start some fires so people notice you. You've got to be speaking at the top of your lungs. You've got to start some fires so people notice you. You've got to be speaking at the top of your lungs. You've got to be starting fires. You've got to be fighting the other kids and then making them look like they started the fight. These are all middle child techniques

that we had to use to get attention. So 0800DARLS at M. Give us a call, 9696. You can text in. Were you the forgotten sibling? Maybe it was worse than no photos. Maybe they actually left you behind in places. So talking to a friend at the weekend who says he's the forgotten sibling,

the youngest of four, not many photos of him as a kid because I guess the parents were over it by then. They'd seen three babies already. Exactly. Here's a couple of photos. That's enough. Yeah. Stop. What more do you want from us? Synopathy That's enough. Yeah. Stop.

What more do you want from us? Synopathy's worn off. Yeah. So are you the forgotten? You know what? This is a thing, it turns out. Yeah.

Sadly. I was number three of four children. One day my parents literally left me behind and my grandparents when I was in the toilet, they came back after they realised

I wasn't in the car but it took them 10 minutes. My husband is number four of 10 kids. Five girls, five boys all together. All single births, so no twins involved there. Okay. Wow. Nan was just a pump in the mouth.

She was like the baseline of a good dance song. That's her breastfeeding one. Just one of that. No, I don't know what that always was. That was, she gave birth to a demon. Somebody needs to remix that. That's brilliant.

I don't know. I've lost it now. All single births, as mum can't tell them apart in their baby photos, so they only really have photos of them when they were older and more identifiable. You need the first... There's a pile of baby photos. You're one of them.

You need those hello my name is tags for your babies. Yeah, yeah. But generally, that's what you do if you've got twins. But if they're born at different times, you would think. Surely. I mean, you were popping them out. That's a sign you've had too many. I think so, yeah.

That's a sign you've overdone it. Philippa, how were you the forgotten sibling? More than once, to be honest. Which is probably not great on my parents' behalf, but I was left at, like, sports training as, like, a pre-teen. Oh, good. Good stuff, yeah. So, like, just not picked up, like, just forgotten to be picked up. Okay.

Yeah. So they had the important siblings and they were like, let's go. Yeah. Or it was like, oh, yeah, I'll be there in 10 minutes and then I'll be waiting for like half an hour after that and be like, are you going to get me? They forgot you 10 minutes later. And you're like, oh, I've just driven home.

I'll turn around and come get you. Oh, right, you were inconveniencing them. They didn't even lie about it. Oh, the traffic's really bad. I'm definitely on my way. Yeah, look, we just got home. Do you the traffic's really bad. I'm definitely on my way. Yeah. Look, we just got home. Do you reckon you could just start walking? Phillip, thanks for your call.

Courtney, how did you know you were the forgotten sibling? Morning. So I would be talking to one of my extended family members and they would be telling me things that my family were doing that weekend and I'd be going I don't remember this I don't know if I'm invited to that

Were you the youngest of how many? Two Oh wow Yeah I was like that's right That sounds like a real problem. Courtney, thanks for your call. Chelsea, how were you the forgotten sibling? I'm the youngest of four, and my three siblings lived in Perth.

And my parents, when I was 20, they booked flights to Perth for Christmas, but didn't tell me. Oh, wow. Did they see your brothers and sisters? I don't know what was that. They just left you for Christmas. Yeah, so I ended up actually going away for work. So jokes on them, I went

somewhere cooler than Perth. But they didn't tell me until I told them about my cool trip. And then they were like, oh, that's good because we're going away to Perth to see your siblings for Christmas. It didn't tell you. Wow. No, no, yeah.

So I'm going to see my siblings again. Pretty good because, you know, Christmas, you've got to contemplate getting a second table for Christmas dinner. Yeah. I want to be on the middle table. You've got one of those pull-out tables. If you have to pull out both ends, it gets a bit, like, weak. Yeah, it does.

You can't really put your elbows on it. And I would have had to sit on, like, the office chair or something. Oh, yeah. Let alone dragging another chair on. Also a sign you're the forgotten sibling or the less cared about when you get the little table at Christmas or the office chair. Yeah. Yeah.

I always nominate myself. I'm a bit of a hero when it comes to Christmas. I'll always sit on the outdoor about that little white $10 warehouse plastic chair that sits outside. I'll sit on that, Nan. Yeah, but you definitely don't ask for any credit. Absolute white saviour over here. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Chelsea, thanks. You call some messages in. My dad introduced my two sisters to everybody at my brother's wedding. And when I met people later in the night, I said, oh yeah, it's my brother's wedding. And I, you know, I'm definitely his daughter. And they were like,

oh, we just met him before with his two daughters. You didn't even get to mention. And that kind of sums up my life pretty well. I have next to no baby photos. I'm the youngest of three, but my siblings are 13 and 14 years older than me. I guess you could try to call me the marriage band-aid. That's good, though. You recognize what you are. Yeah guess you could try to call me the marriage band-aid. That's good though. You recognise what you are.

Yeah, you know. You recognise what the story is. I'm 45. I grew up before cell phones. My mum always forgot to pick me up from things. I had to walk home

or get the bus and then I'd get home and she'd be like, ah, where have you been? My God. Mum and dad had five kids and then adopted us. Four more random kids. Oh, wow.

These sound like good people. At my brother's 21st, I was nine. I didn't want to have my photo taken, so I just didn't get involved in any family photos, but nobody noticed that I wasn't in the lineup. We got Mum and Dad and then five kids, so that's seven, and then four more. That's 11.

Yeah. Easy to lose one., that's 11. Yeah. Easy to lose one. Easy to lose one. Yeah. Easy to lose one. It's like going on tournament with a hockey team and losing the goalie. It was always the goalie you left behind. Yeah, so I wasn't in any of the photos.

It wasn't until the album came out that mum was like, where were you? Just do an inset, you know, like when someone was away for school, just have a little square box of them in the corner. Yeah, absinthe. Yeah. A little square box. I, oh, this has happened more than once at a restaurant. If we get there and they're like, oh, we can pull some more tables in,

and mum's like, no, don't worry, they'll just sit at a table by themselves. Oh, my God. And I've been sat at a table by myself on more than one occasion. Surely you have to rotate who that person is. You can't be the same person every time. It's definitely not mum or dad. So you've got a perfect amount at the table. If you add one more, the person that's on the end goes to that side

and then you just have someone on that side. Mum's a bitch. That's not going to ruin pulling in another table. No. Mum didn't want you at the table. I don't mean to be rude. She sounds like a horrible person. You sound lovely.

Yeah, no shortage of people are really saying, I'm the victim here. Right. Hold on. I've just lost. I'm dealing with a password issue just behind the scenes. So that's popped up and taken the place of the chat window with the answers in it.

My brother was helped buying two houses and I've been told I get no help at all. That's rough. Also feels like there'd be more to that story. Yeah, our dinner table only had four chairs. I was the fifth and last member to join the family. So guess who didn't get a chair? If you're having another kid, you have to get a bigger table. Or you get a new set of

chairs. It's a six set. And one goes at the computer desk. One goes on the end of the table. And that's just how things were. My parents thought it was my brother's birthday, so bought him presents but it was my birthday. They just knew it was one of the kids' birthdays that day.

Duh, so sad. My three older siblings had beautiful photo albums from when they were kids. My kids, my photos are in a plain brown envelope. Joke's on them when there's a fire. Envelope's very easy to carry.

ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs. Fridge or pantry? This is a great debate. More of a debate than I would have thought.

I think it started on, like, was it Mumsnet or one of those online forums? It's an age-old debate, though, isn't it? Yeah. Like condiments or butter being in the fridge. Tomato sauce. Yeah. Pantry or fridge. Well, the good thing about the fridge with that sort of thing

is it keeps the ants away if you're likely to have an ante issue. And surely it makes stuff last longer, right? Well, I've done a wee Google. Are you talking specifically about eggs? But like condiments, it says, doesn't it, once it's opened, you should refrigerate? Yeah, you should, yeah. But eggs in the supermarket are kept on the shelf,

not refrigerated. Yeah. So, yeah, we asked, where do you store your eggs? Eggs. I feel like I'm saying that funny. Eggs. Man, rock and roll, eh? Sexy. Wah.

Like, wah. Wacky radio stunts. Eggs. Where do you keep them? Do you keep them in the fridge? Do you keep them in the cupboard? Do you keep them up your bum? Three options. There's a global pandemic We're short on content I love it

26 and a half thousand people got in on this vote How many of them are making How many of them keep them up their bum So the actual percentages on the poll say 50-50 What? I have actual numbers Of how many people voted for which, and I can tell you that the fridge wins.

But only just. Only by like 100. I can't work out. I can't minus that from that, but it's like 100 and, yep. You put the bigger number above. I know that, but I can't work that out. And then the smaller number below, and then you tap them down like that. It would be 100 and something.

100 and something votes between them. Where's the pen? Where's the pen? In favour of the fridge. Keep the brain. No, don't use your calculator. We're having a maths competition. Okay, tell us how many

and then tell us how many. So the bigger... Yeah, tell us the bigger number. 7,028. Yep. 7,028. Yep. And 28, yep.

And then minus 6,886 6,886 This is real 8 minus 6 is 2 6,886 Sure, don't tell me So you're doing calculator, Vaughn's doing

Next I've got to do 2 minus 8 but of course that doesn't go So then I've got to take a 1 from the thing before it, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. To make it. No. To make it. It's a very slim margin.

Do we really? Yes. So actually I'm just going to have to go 702 minus 688. So that's 2 makes that 90, and then add 10 and add another 2, 14. 142. Correct. I told, see? Yes.

Just by looking at it, I said 100 and something. So I was also right just by looking at it. So 142 votes in it and more people only just preferring to refrigerate their eggs. Yes. I know that when you do baking, it's better for, is it true? Because some recipes are like room temperature eggs. And I'm like, eh. Do you know why?

Because if they're cold, it affects the butter. So, you know, like if you're making pastries. Well, it may affect the butter. If you're making pastries and stuff, you don't want your butter to be cold by the eggs. Oh, because it's melted butter. Why don't you want to be cold at butter for your pastries? Well, because it was runny butter. Now it's hard butter.

Is it softened butter? True temperature butter. You don't want it to be runny. You don't want it melted. Now you want it soft, right? So you beat it, do you? And it fluffs up, does it? To the rest of the country, just remember we're still in level four.

So the mind's going. We haven't seen a lot of people. Especially over the weekend. Yeah. But yeah, some messages in. Someone said there is a salmone. Especially over the weekend. Yeah. But yeah, some messages in. Someone said there is a salmonella warning at the moment for eggs, so they should definitely be stored in the fridge. People always say this and they're like, don't eat cookie dough.

It's like, don't tell me what to do, health officials. But I did Google and learnt a lot. So in the United States, they wash the eggs at the factory and that actually removes some of the eggs' natural protection for salmonella. It's illegal to do that in Europe. It is. Yeah, that's why. I don't know how I know that.

The EU banned washing eggs. And we don't do that in New Zealand either. That's why they get a bit of poo. A bit of poo. I don't mind seeing an odd feather because it makes me think, oh, my God, they've just laid this in the middle of a farm. Yeah. I like to think that sometimes when the eggs are getting packed

into those little carton things, there's somebody who stands there chucking feathers in and then shutting them. That is how cynical I am. I also think there's someone at the egg place putting a feather in each carton. Yeah, and they're holding a sparrow and sometimes they'll squeeze the sparrow

and a bit of poos will go on the egg and then they'll chuck a flower and then they'll be like, good work, sparrow. And then they'll be like, you've got to give the sparrow a rest. Yeah. And you're constantly feeding the sparrow seeds. Yeah. And then you give it a squeeze a few boxes later

and put more sparrow poo comes in. They might have a row of sparrows. Yeah. And they just grab a sparrow as they need it. And this is just a cage factory, but it's all about the presentation. So I've read some pros and cons on eggs in fridge and out of fridge.

So in fridge, it can double the shelf life and it can keep bacteria under control. It's just generally safe. Well, yeah, that's true. But cons about them being in the fridge is they can actually absorb odours and flavours from the fridge. Also, don't keep them in the door for these other things because it fluctuates in temperature. Stop it. That's where the egg thing always is.

The egg holder. I got rid of the egg holder. I leave mine in the carton because I don't like the egg holder. It's room for sauces. I've got an egg container in the main part of my fridge. Really? Yeah. Oh, fancy fridge.

Obviously, they knew about the fluctuating temperature. But I mean, like, literally, it sounds like each to their own. But in New Zealand, it's not necessary. Why don't fridges have butter conditioners anymore? I don't know. Just because nobody uses them? Because it keeps your butter soft, right? Yeah, it kept the butter warmer, but at the same time refrigerated.

So it was spreadable. But you've got spreadable butter now. Maybe that's why. And also they were like, just keep your butter out of the fridge. No, there's something cool about sliding the butter out of that little thing. It is there. You're coming with me, butter. ZM's Fleshborn and Megan.

Play ZM. A new TV show, this is a reality show, has been announced. CBS are bringing you The Activist. You know what? I don't think they will be because this has been slated online. This seems like something they're like, due to scheduling conflict, we can no longer advance with some line like that because this has been slated online.

So The Activists, there'll be five of, maybe, will face off in challenges to promote their selected causes, kind of apprentice style. Success will be judged, measured through social media metrics and their feedback. And the main goal is for the competitors to get the chance to present their cause at the G20 Summit in Rome. It is hosted by Priyanka Chopra, Usher and Julianne Hoff. So three major

celebrities. The G20 Summit, that's not like a concert. That's like a serious mating of all the world's superpowers. Yeah. So yeah, a lot of people were like, ah, you're really going to take equally important social justice issues and pit them against each other. This is going to be based on social media popularity.

I think Jamila Jamil summed it up pretty good when she said, couldn't they just give the money it's going to take to pay this unbelievably expensive talent and make the show directly to the activist causes rather than turning activism into a game and then giving a fraction of the much needed money away in a prize. Because it's not a game, is it? No, it's not.

And then, yeah, how are you going to, all of these causes are going to be like deserving and important and then you're going to be like, no, not today. So you could have someone like who's doing climate change up against someone whose cause is like Black Lives Matter or something. Like how are you going to? That's their passion area. Yeah.

But then week to week, do they have to do different, like this week we're going to be focusing on deforestation of the Amazonian rainforest and the displacement of its native peoples. Yeah, and how are you going to be like, okay, yeah, you win this week. Yeah. Yeah, it's a weird one.

You just be like, actually, yeah, you win this week. Yeah. Yeah, it's a weird one. You just be like, actually, these are all awesome causes. Yeah, it's just, and you're just doing it for a bit of a game. So I don't know. For fame, really, at the end of the day. I don't know why those three celebrities would have thought this was a good idea. Money? But there was nothing in their mind that like, but there was no, nothing in their mind

that thought, hang on a second, that's not, this isn't going to work. that's not going to, oh, people are going to see right through this.

Yeah, no, it never occurred to them, did it? Yeah. Well, let's see if this gets made. Probably not.

Probably not. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Auckland's still in level four. I just like reminding the rest of the country that sometimes Yeah, alright

I don't think Aucklanders have let them forget No How bored are you in level 4? Yesterday I raked Raked A paddock God Oh my

You know there's still lots of stuff on Netflix, right? Yeah, but I was like I gotta get outside You know it Because the weather was nice So the part of the paddock where the goats are at Are under this like line of trees. And I was like, there's always like sticks and stuff.

And I was like, I'm going to rake up all those sticks. It's a paddock. It's meant to have leaves in it. I know, but then once I started, I couldn't stop. You should see this paddock. You're so bored, aren't you? Producer Jared's given me his dungarees to fix a hole in. I was like, I'm excited about this sweet ass.

Did he get a little hole when he got them caught on the door? Yeah. The little fella nipped through a door and the handle grabbed his dungaree strap and it ripped. And you were like, oh, you've got... And he was like... He was like a minion that was caught on the doorknob. It's made a hole.

So that's my wee task today. But I was bored at the weekend and I have been doing a little bit of harping on to Andrew, my husband, about letting me cut his hair. He goes, he gets it done every two weeks. So it's been a while. It was bushy. And he finally got to the point where he was like, well, I mean, we might not be getting out of this anytime soon.

So if it's really awful, it'll grow back enough to then go and get it cut at the hairdressers. So I got some very blunt-ass clippers and took to his. Why were they blunt? They're the dog clippers. They're the dog clippers. No, his really old ones. They've spent 10 years trimming pubes.

Right. Basically. Coarse. Yep, I nailed it, didn't I? Coarse pubes. I nailed it, yep. Chest hair and pubes. Wiry.

Yep. Wiry, thick pubes. He does have very wiry. I call his hair like, no, his hair. It's like stelo. Stelo. Yeah, right. And so I had to go so slow because, like, every two seconds he's like,

ah, it's pulling. And it took me probably an hour and a half, almost two hours to cut his hair. So you clipped it. I clipped it. And then I had to do, like, a fresh fade even. Oh, how did you do the fade? Oh, yeah, you did well on the fade. I saw it on the gram.

Thank you. You did well on the fade. It's hard to do a fade. It is on the gram. So, yeah, I mean, I did a pretty good job, actually. I think I nailed it. Did you, with the fade, what would be your tips to people who maybe want to try a home fade?

Don't or give it a blast? Just give it a blast. They grow out. Fades grow out so quick. Yeah. I just extended the clipper, like, little attachment. It goes in and out. Who knew that?

And then I got a little comb and then I clippered over the comb. I think I did an awesome job. But, I mean, I realise that he's a terrible customer, and he micromanaged the whole situation, and we were pretty close to an argument a couple of times because the clippers were blunt. Well, it worked out all right then. It did.

Give it a go. A lot of people see that they've cut their partner's hair, and worked out all right then. It did it. Give it a go. A lot of people see that they've cut their partner's hair and it's just ended up in a buzz cut. That's cool too. That'll grow back. Yeah. And people are cutting their kids' hair. Yeah.

We'll get out of this one day. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Megan. I had a whoopsie at the weekend that I needed to Google my way out of. A wee problem. Now, Vaughan, you will relate to this because you like me shave your head with a razor. Yes. And, Megan, you might not know this, but when you do this, you just, I guess because you're blade shaving, you just nick. But you don't even notice really any cuts, but just every now and again there'll just be the little dot on your pillow.

Oh, yeah. That's annoying. You need like a little pillow cover thingy. Yeah, but then you still need a cover. A sleeping beanie. A sleeping beanie. Every now and then when I have a nap, like after work, go home if I'm tired and I'll bust out an afternoon nap,

I always nap with a beanie on. But at night I don't. But I don't know why, but that's really nothing. Oh, Max, I couldn't do that because my head gets too hot. You've got a hot head. What about a winter? Does your head not get cold? You should try it. Next time you're having a day nap.

Put a beanie on. Pop a beanie on for a day nap. I always get these little dots of blood on my pillowcase, and it's annoying. So when I'm doing the sheets at the weekend, I always just get the little bottle of bleachy cleaner and I just put a squirt on the dots. Okay.

Just so they, because sometimes they don't come out. Oh yeah, gotcha. If it's been there for like five or six days or something. Yeah. So I'll just put a little bleachy dot. It was a couple and I was like. And I did this on my pillowcase.

Well, I put my pillowcase on the basin, on the hand basin. And I was like. And then as I was taking the pillowcase to put into the washing machine on the other side of the bathroom, I left a trail of bleach that fell off the pillow because I did use a lot. I went. That's not like you. Yeah. I was like, I've got to get rid of that.

I've got to get rid of the little dots. Yeah. That's not like you. Yeah, I was like, I've got to get rid of the little dots. Yeah. And left this big trail of bleach on the tiles, on the grey, porous tiles. I was like, oh, I'll just wipe that up. Wipe, wipe, wipe. And chucked everything in the washing machine. And then when I came back five minutes later, I was like, uh-oh, Spaghetti-O. There's like stained dots of bleach now in the tiles.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. And I was like, oh, so I poured some water over it. I was like, well, dilute it. Dilute. Pour some water over. Left it a few minutes.

Soaked it up. I was like, oh, no. The dirt is still there. And I'm like, oh, my God, what do I do? Is this in your bathroom tiles? Yeah. Oh, nice tiles. Those are nice tiles.

Spread bleach across all of them. Yeah, bleach the whole bathroom. That would be my. Okay, that. Set up a bleach bomb. Okay, that did go through my head, but I was like, a lot of floor area, and then, like, it could be streaky. I did that with a pair of jeans once.

I got bleach on them and I was like well what do I do and I just poured bleach tie dye all over them yeah yeah yeah

so I was like and so I had I googled I was like okay google what do I do and google gave me lots of options so I went to the kitchen

I got baking soda I got vinegar I tried the vinegar didn't do anything I left it on for a few minutes soaked it up the dot was still there because there were many dots.

I was just trying one dot at a time. Yeah, do a test patch. Baking soda, nothing. And then it said hydrogen peroxide, which is more bleach. Yeah, that's bleach, eh? Yeah. Yeah. So you did do my idea.

You just lightly bleached everything. Then I was like, but that's bleach. And I don't have another. What was it that you were putting on? It was like a Jan that's bleach. And I don't have another. What was it that you were putting on? It was like a Janolary bleachy something. It's got bleach in it. Right. But what is it, bleach or was it the other end of the pH scale?

No, I don't know. Was it its opposite that kind of did the same job? Well, do you know what worked? Toothpaste. No, exit mould. How good is that stuff? More bleach. I was like, good is that stuff? More bleach. I was like, yeah.

And then I just, I scrubbed it in and it just kind of, yeah, you can't really see them. All you did was graduate the... Yep. Okay. I graduated the stain into the whole tile. Oh my God. Okay, so if we go round to your house once,

we're out of this. Don't comment on the tiles. I'm confused how this works. If you know where you're looking. You fixed the bleach. You fought fire with fire and didn't burn the whole house down. Yeah, I don't know how it worked, but I just, I scrubbed it and left it in and diluted that with a little bit of water

and it just kind of worked. It just kind of disguised the same. You've just made the drip less obvious by making the. That's exactly what I've done. So your plan worked. So bleach took colour out of your tiles? It left a dot. It wasn't like you dropped it on

a towel and you noticed a bit, which I also did. The bleach went onto several towels and items of clothing. Yeah, not a great day. This is like that time that me and my friend, this is... I'd been dating Sade for a while, but when her parents had this really nice house,

and we walked into the bathroom, and we'd been outside in bare feet, and we got tar all over their tiles. And I was like, ah! And he was like, oh, my God! So it was like we were 17 again, and we'd ruined someone's parents' house. Yeah. Scrub, scrub, scrub, nothing, nothing, nothing. Googled it, butter and margarine.

What? That's fast. If you ever get tiles, I don't know what it was. Maybe if you ever get tar from the road, like bitumen tar on tiles, margarine. I would have used, not lemon syrup. What's that? Dissolvent stuff. That's amazing.

Dissolvent, yeah, the citrusy business. Do you remember that time you sniffed my candle? This isn't a euphemism. Okay, good. Oh my God. And I had just been candle? This isn't a euphemism. Okay, good. Oh, my God. And I had just been, I'd been burning a candle for ages, and I put the, because Vaughn was coming around, put the lid on it, because we were going out,

and Vaughn's like, that's a lovely smelling candle, takes the lid off, gives it a sniff, but pours. Wax. I didn't know it was liquid wax. All over the carpet. And I was like. But Googled, and you put down paper towels, you turn the iron on and you soak up the wax into the paper towel.

You do that several times and it was all gone. Amazing hack. But again, Google. So before the days of Google, I don't know what people did when they spilt red wine on their white sofa. Or their carpet. Right in their mum?

I don't know. Yeah. So I wanted to ask this morning, on 0800DARLS.M, you can text as well, 9696. When did you have to Google your way out of a situation? When did Google save the day? Whether it was a spill at home,

a situation, something broke, and Google helped you out. Well, at the weekend, I had to Google how to get bleach out of porous tiles. And you added more bleach. Yeah, at the weekend, I had to Google how to get bleach out of porous tiles. And you added more bleach. Yeah, just diluted some bleach and just kind of faded it in. I did my own fade with the bleach there. Tell you what, there's a lot of handy tips coming in.

When people have Googled their way out of trouble, because that's what you did, and you found more bleach, solved the bleach problem. Well, just exit mould. Which is, they say exit mould all it does is bleaches the mould. It's not actually killing it

or scrubbing it away. They were like, you've got to vinegar it. And I vinegared it and the mould was just like, yum. Got some salt. Exit mould is great. But exit mould's like, I got this. And the mould's like, ha! So when did you have to Google your way out of trouble?

Chelsea, what happened? I was paying to buy nails with free nail polish, and I had it balancing on the selfie table, and I accidentally knocked it off on Twitter. Oh, your phone reception's a bit rubbish, and I can't balance it on the coffee table and they accidentally knocked it off on the carpet. Oh, your phone reception's a bit rubbish, but you've knocked nail polish onto the carpet. It's a new carpet.

New carpet. It's always new carpet. How did you, and what did Google say? It said to use hot water and nail polish remover and it didn't come off entirely, so I blamed it on the dog. That was the next Google tip. And if this doesn't work, blame a dog. And then just get a rug, eh, and cover it up.

Yeah. Brilliant. Chelsea, thanks for your call. Kate, when did you have to Google your way out of trouble? It would have been probably when I was a three-year-old at the time. I managed to get some Blu-Tack stuck in her hair. Oh, and is it, you put the, it's like chewing gum, you put the three-year-old in the freezer for like an hour.

And then smashed him with a hammer. My freezer was too small, so I couldn't, it was not really the dumb thing, so. Okay. It's a good one. I liked how, wait a minute, I liked how it was a problem with being able to fit the three-year-old and that was your priority over,

and it's not really the done thing, was the second drink. Yeah, I realised people were listening to what I was saying, and so I thought I'd be the backtrack. So how did it come out? Well, I did what I'd miss in vegetable oil, but didn't have any of that at the time, so peanut butter was another alternative they suggested,

so I used that, and it worked a treat. I think it must have been the oil in it or something, and it just kind of slid right out. Oh, yeah, because the oil gets in and doesn't have anything to grip to. Magical. Wow, okay. Yeah, and I think it's the same theory for chewing gum. I'm not sure.

We haven't had chewing gum in the hair yet. Fingers crossed you don't have to. No. Yeah, it'll happen at some point. Brilliant. All right, Kate with the small freezer, thank you for the call. Some more messages in. I,

yeah, somebody else said that about they blame their dog. Yep, okay. When they've knocked something and stained the carpet, they blame the dog. Poor dog.

Poor dog. They know. Tux biscuits. Somebody else said, changing a tyre. I'd never been taught to. I'd never had to. But then I found myself with a flat tyre and no reception.

Right. How did you Google it if you had no reception? Or did they have like 4G but no phone? I don't know. But they said, yeah, I Googled it. I've never had to. Oh, because I'm so hot, people just stop and do it for me. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay, don't laugh that much. You put on those denim short shorts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you just pop your bum out. Yeah. And then. Bend over in the boot.

Yeah. And then they pull over. Yeah. And you're like, and they're like, do you need any help? And you're like, yes. And they're like, ah, Jesus. Oh, my God. Not at all what the lower half looked like.

But then it's too late. They'll stop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the wife's in the passenger seat giving me evils. Yeah. It's only doing this because you're hot. I'm like, sorry. Sorry, mom. There used to be books called Inquire Within that would be housekeeping guides that were

full of all of these sorts of tips for cleaning and stuff and maintaining a household. Pre-Google. Yeah, pre-Google. Somebody else said I had a grease stain. Wait a minute. Disappeared. I got you.

Grease stain on my favorite jumper. I was trying to eat fast food in the car. It fell. I washed it. It's still there. So I Googled it. It said, rub in some dishwashing liquid. Leave for 20 minutes.

Then wash all fixed. That's a degreaser. Obviously. Oh, yeah. Dishwashing liquid's got a degreasing element to it. Makes it easier to clean your dishes. I try lemon juice on greasy bits on your clothes. That works sometimes.

Yeah. I got wax on a timber table and it soaked in. Google said to use a mixture of bleach and borax. Worked a treat. Cheers, Deb. Thanks, Deb. Thanks, Deb. I needed an element in my oven replaced.

It was going to cost $110 to get done. YouTubed how to do it, did it myself in less than 10 minutes, and my house burnt down three days later. I wouldn't trust myself to do anything electrical for that reason. No, ovens, especially the old elements. Yeah. Also, your element only popped because someone's putting knives in it. I ran out of shaving cream, and I Googled it,

and I said, what's a good alternative for shaving cream? It said conditioner, and I have out of shaving cream. And I googled it and I said, what's a good alternative for shaving cream? It said conditioner. And I have not bought shaving cream since. But conditioner would be cheaper, wouldn't it? Yeah. Oh, I don't know about that. The conditioner always disappears before the shampoo away. Why is that?

Every time I'm like, don't use as much. Yeah, because you're not you don't know why it doesn't lather. I've got hair and I've got a problem. Cool. WD-40. Someone said that. For shaving cream.

No. We've moved on, Megan. For conditioner. Wasn't it clear enough in that paragraph? Full stop. Okay. Conditioner works. Works great.

Don't have time for a shower. Leaves it soft. Full stop. Okay. WD-40 gets everything out. It's absolutely magical. Water displacement formula 40 is what that stands for. That can get grease and stuff out as well.

Yeah, right. So you can probably have that and one of those in the laundry. Sugar removes nail polish. It clumps it up. I used to work at Mac and we had to do it all the time when kids knocked over nail polish and then stood in it and then walked it through the tiles. What?

And then the mum was like, I'm sorry about that. That is an adventurous little boy. I was about to get an adventure back in. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Just eating. So that's why I'm maybe a little saliva heavy.

Okay. Today's fact of the day is that thanks to ham and cheese. Toasties. We have hard covered books. What? Thanks to ham and cheese. We have hard covered books. Join me.

Someone put their ham and cheese toasty on top of a book and they got a greasy stain. It's soaked through in their hardcover. Is it cheese in this quiche I'm eating? But this is chicken and cranberry, isn't it? Yeah. It's not ham. Is it something to do with what they housed the cheese and the ham in that was then used to cover books?

No. It's more to do with what makes the cheese. Cows. Milk. Cows. Milk. Sheep. Sheep.

And goats. Yep. So cheese was made by the sheep and the cows. Females only. Yep. You can't milk a bull. Well, you can, but you get- Different outcome.

Yeah, different wild lid. Wouldn't make a good cheese. So that made them more valuable than their male counterparts. So then they weren't worth keeping a hold of over winter, so they would be slaughtered younger. Now, the skins of those animals was used to make a product called vellum, which was in the olden days, and I'm talking not just like the 1940s,

I'm talking like the 1400s. Right. It was used as a basic material of a book, like a page. Right. They could make it very thin. Now, it tends, however, to, as it dries, it'll dry and you write on it, but then as it continues to dry, it'll buckle and ripple. Right. And it won't stay flat.

So then, to make it stay flat they bound it between two heavy wooden boards. And then people got used to a heavy cover for a book so it could stand up by itself. Oh yeah. And so then when

they moved away from the vellum into paper parchments and stuff then you could use paper but they kept the hard ends on the book. Oh, okay. All because those male versions of those animals couldn't give them milk or cheese, and so they would obviously have to keep them calving and lambing, so they would keep producing the milk to make the cheese. Yep.

And then a lot of the times male animals would be the outcome and they had to make the use of them. But they didn't want to feed them over winter so they'd shoot them young. And then write on them. And then the paper that they made would wrinkle so they had to hard bound it. And so then they got used to a flasher book, a more expensive book. You know how when you see a paperback, you're like, that's nice. But then you see the hardback copy and you're like,

ooh, posh. Fancy. Posh. It's because the posh people used the posh paper, but the posh paper rippled, so they got used to a hardcover book. Posh people. Yeah, posh people get cheese, ham, and hardcover books. So, and you might be wondering why

ham, same sort of thing, went. Oh, okay, right. You could castrate the males, but if you were just raising them primarily to have more pigs and more piglets to make the ham, then you'd have the same situation with the skin. Oh, fascinating. So today's fact of the day is we have hardcover books

because people like cheese. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. I did a car thing. I did a car thing. Yeah. I fixed the car thing.

Is it actually fixed? Yep. I did a car thing. Yeah. I fixed the car thing. Is it actually fixed? Yep. Well, I believe so. Was this thanks to YouTube? It was. Oh, good. Thanks to YouTube. Look at you go.

And a bit of a question. I still wouldn't trust riding in this thing after this. Why not? I didn't really trust riding in it before then. I was going to say, this is the least of its issues. This is tinkering on you. How old is this Land Rover? 1967, so 54 years old.

Wow. Passed on from your grandfather. Correct, a mile down. A little while ago, I got it out of the shed and drove it and I was like, oh, the speedo needle's not going anywhere. Is that essential to get a warrant?

Do they check that? Oh, okay. Yeah, because you've got to know how fast you're going. Yeah. It's not so much a case of me breaking any speed limits. It's more of like how inconvenient am I being to people behind me? I'm on the open road. I'm only doing the equivalent of 70 kilometres an hour.

I probably need to pull over and let people pass. But it didn't work. So some Googling told me that I needed a Speedo cable and who knew those were a thing. Yeah. So some Googling told me that I needed a Speedo cable, and who knew those were a thing. But basically this little square cord of steel, it gets screwed in. One end goes in the gearbox, and then you ferret it through, up, and then it screws into the back of your Speedo.

And when the gearbox is going around, the speedo is like, oh, yeah, we're going about that fast. And the needle goes right. It makes the needle go round. Wow. So I replaced that. Because wasn't your needle going as well? I was a wiggly needle.

And now that the new one's in, steady needle. Oh. Steady needle. Good work. Smooth needle So somebody said When you screw it in To make sure the cable's good

Yeah You put it You connect one end to a power drill And you rev it Yeah And then it'll make the needle move And that's You know you can connect the other end

Because there's no problem with the Oh okay And it was new But I just wanted to test it basically Okay So I put it in And then I rev the drill And it basically. Okay. So I put it in and then I revved the drill and it made the speedo go right like Vin Diesel.

Right to the top. Yeah, okay. And I was like, that's pretty cool. The Land Rover's never been that fast in its life. So I put a video up. What is the max speed on the speedo of the Landy? Oh, that's a good question. It's in miles an hour.

10? 70. 75. 75 miles an hour. 10? 70. 75. 75 miles an hour. Okay. Which is 100 and something kilometers an hour. I don't know. No. No, that's faster than that, isn't it? Yeah, it's about 120, isn't it? 75 miles is 120 kilometers an hour. It's never

been that fast. It doesn't do that fast. I've done a bit of driving in America, guys. I've needed to convert 65 to 100 before. You do it on the fly. So I thought, that looks cool. Yeah. So I put a video up on Instagram being like, it only took a power drill to get the Landy above 40 miles an hour.

Okay. And I've had so many people message me back being like, don't show people that you're winding the clock back. Don't show people you're taking K's off your... Is this how you wind back your speedo? So apparently on old ones that have got a speedo cable, you can do this. You just jam it in reverse and it will wind back.

But you're not paying road user charges. No, that's the thing. It's not a diesel, so there's no use of not accruing. But then also, like, I'm not going to sell it. And it's 50-something years old. So if you're like, oh. It's got 83,000 miles on the clock,

which isn't too bad when you take into consideration how old it is. Yeah, but it's probably been around the clock eight times. I wonder how many times it's been around the clock. I don't think it has. I don't think it has. But it might have been. But, yeah, so many people are like, oh, don't show people how to do that. You're winding your speeder back.

I'm like, well, I'm not winding my speeder back, and I think it says more about you than it does about me. But you put a crime on your Instagram story. And that's why, yeah. So somebody messaged me. I won't say their names and they said, I think you shouldn't be sharing that you're doing that. There may be a few

people who you are now encouraging to do it. And I said, I love how every shady character thinks I'm rewinding the speedo. And they said, I'm not that shady. And then I clipped on their profile picture. They're a police officer. Oh! Oh, that's

funny. Yeah. So he was actually officially telling you off. But is that even how you do it now? Surely it's more automated than that. I don't. Mate, weird. I only did my first car thing. I'm not committing any crimes. Yeah, yeah.

Wow. Yeah. Okay. I mean, yeah. There was always, everybody knew someone growing up like that had a diesel. So you're paid in row, you'd use the charges, which if you've never had a diesel before, you pay for diesel, but you pay separately for road user charges for every kilometre.

You've got to buy chunks of kilometres basically to use the road. But yeah, farmers would just be like, well, I'm not on the road. Pull and pull the cable out and just drive around. Well, man, none that I know. What? What are you talking about? Actually, no. Come for them.

They're both dead now. It was my granddad's that did it, and they're dead now. Are you happy? You just keep in mind that there's a police officer watching your stories on Instagram. I'm very good on Instagram. Well, I am now.

The long arm of the law Is a button click away ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan Apparently there is a rise of people getting quad vaxxed Three and sometimes four doses Why? So this is mostly for Kiwis who are going overseas Maybe back over to the UK Like moving over

Yeah or Yeah I guess so So they get there and because like- Nah, just going for a long weekend. People have though gone on holidays though. Yeah. Haven't they? I've heard of people that have done this.

So when you get over there, because all we have is kind of like a little card or a piece of paper to show that you are double vaxxed, they're getting there and they're realising they're being met with scepticism and no, you can't travel. Well, because you can apply to the Ministry of Health and they will give you a letter. But then what's to say you couldn't do that on your home printer? But yeah, exactly. Apparently overseas, they're not accepting these letters because the proof of paper, the piece of paper just doesn't cut it as proof. Yeah, right. So people are just going,

oh, okay, I'll just get vaccinated over here too. Now vaccinologists are worried about this because there's very little research into, you know, the effects of maybe getting four vaccines. There's not a lot of

data to support it and they're disappointed that this situation hasn't been resolved. What if you get a whole nother one? What if you got like, like we're all getting the fizzer. What if you got AstraZeneca? Yeah. Or Moderna. Yummy, I don't know.

Like, does that make you super, super protected? I don't know. I don't know. But yeah, people are doing it because they're like, well, I want to travel and they're overseas. And because they've got the UK or the US certification or whatever they give you, it's less hassle traveling around. Well, they're just not allowed to travel unless you can prove without a piece of paper that

you're vaxxed. Huh. I mean, it's really hard right now for me to feel sorry for them. Yeah. Because when I got vaxxed on Friday I didn't get one of your cool cards. Yeah, there's some places that aren't doing the cards anymore. And to be honest, what's the point of the cards?

For the gram! I didn't even get a sticker that said, be kind to me, I got vaxxed today. Did you get a sticker? You didn't? No. Oh, I had to ask for one. Oh, I didn't get a sticker. I was like, can I have a sticker? She's like, yeah. I was like, I didn't do this. Everybody at the,

when I got vaccinated on Friday in Albany. Yep. I said it right. It's Albany. Don't confuse me. This is why Executive Intern Anya is called Anya years later, even though by birth her name's Anna, because everyone lied to me about how to say her name.

And is she, are you happy that that prank got played now? Are we happy five years later at your silly idea for your prank? It was not my idea. It was Megan Papadopoulos. I want to bully. It's not my fault this guy's stubborn AF, decided that that would henceforth be your name. Don't mess with me.

It'll last forever. I can't remember what I was talking about. Oh, Albany. I went to get my bags. Everybody was so, like, nice and jazzed. It's such a well-oiled machine. I know. She's like, have you got any questions?

I said, no, I've done the reading. She's like, great. I was like, have a fantastic day, Sue. And she's like, just go through there. And I'm like, okay, now. And the next guy was super chatty. He had some jokes. He had some jokes. And then the next person was like super helpful. And then the lady that injected me was great. And then the lady in the reception area was fantastic. And then there was a kid, he fainted. Did I tell you about the fainting kid? You did. In the group chat.

Yeah, and his mum was like, he's all right. He's dramatic. He'll be fine. He just gets a bit wimpy around needles. He's been like this forever. Don't judge him for fainting. I didn't, but his mum was. And she wasn't just saying that to the lady who came out to help.

She was saying it to everybody in the air shop. Aw. See, he had trouble with needles, so he still went through with it. Over between Friday and Sunday, 73,000 vaccinations just in air shock. Aw. See, had trouble with needles. We still went through with it. Between Friday and Sunday, 73,000 vaccinations just in Auckland alone. There have been 1.5 million doses in Auckland. That's good. Which is great. And there are still, this week, the drive-thrus at the Auckland Park and Ride,

Trust Stadium. In West Auckland, yeah. And there are so many appointments all over the country. The COVID vaccine, the Book My Vaccine website has a new tool that shows you all the available appointments over the next one to four weeks. Also, one thing I was asked that I thought isn't said enough around the vaccine stations is that,

have you been to a place of interest? Because if you've been to a place of interest? Because if you've been to a place of interest in the timeframe, after the person, not before, if you were there before the person who has since tested positive for COVID, no problem. But if you were there in this window afterwards and you've been asked to isolate and get a test, you shouldn't go to a vaccination station until you've had a negative test.

Yeah. Because they can't afford to get shut down. Yeah. So keep an eye on to get shut down. Yeah. So keep an eye on that. And then this afternoon there'll be an announcement about no announcement really, won't there?

Let's just manage our expectations on that one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So get vaccinated. That'll help us out.

Yeah, that'd be great. That'd be great. Thank you very much. Play ZM.