ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 14th August 2020

Episode Date: August 13, 2020

Man had a 3 month long...  Pancakes!  IMDB 1pm Briefings  Bluff or Stuff: SP2  Executive Producer Anna's Birthday  David Farrier: Conspiracy Theories  Where'd You Take Your Pussycat?  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast brought to you by McCafe. Grab yourself a delicious barista made coffee for only $4. Now at the start of the week she had the best laid intentions to make them official plans. Is that the order of things? You have an intention and then the intention becomes a plan? Best laid plans. Best laid plans. The best of intentions. I said best in the sentence, that's my confusion. But that's all fallen by the wayside

With the re-emergence of COVID-19 But it's executive Producer Anna's birthday And you can't go karaoke-ing anymore No What are the revised plans? Is the spruce goose, sluice goose Got a plan?

We might have a sit down Oh babe Then we might lie for a bit And then we might go for a walk to the letterbox Goose, got a plan? We might have a sit down. Oh, babe. Then we might lie for a bit and then we might go for a walk to the letterbox. Yep. Yeah. Oh, sweetheart. Yeah. You don't have any amended plans?

I think my mum and dad and Andy are working on some surprises, but I imagine they will be home-based surprises. Right. Do you think you'll demand whenever we go to level one to have a revisit to your birthday? Celebrations? I want to have a whole nother 21st. Like, I want speeches.

I want a slideshow of myself. I want everything. And my closest 500 friends. Don't bring up that you want a second birthday party until after they do whatever they're going to do tonight. Because you don't want them to make today downplayed because you're going to re-celebrate. Yeah, true. Make them go hard twice.

You're taking advice here from someone who has years of experience of how to milk a situation. Oh yeah. Woohoo! Party time! Do you have birthday supplies at home? Like Willa will be able to whip up a cake because your mum's a home ec teacher.

Yeah. Yeah. This morning when I came down there was like balloons and a big sign and it was very cute. There's some candles. Dad gave me a candle and a biscuit at five o'clock. Was the candle and the biscuit? Yeah, it was sticking out of a Rocky Road Mellow. A Rocky Road Mellow? Oh, that's the Countdown brand, isn't it?

Those are actually bloody good. They look delicious. So they don't say puff on the end of their Mellow? No, so they're a Mellow, because Mellow Puffs taken, isn't it? Rocky Road Mellows. They are. And they're $2 a pack. Take your taste buds on a road trip.

Shut the yum. Take your taste buds on a road trip. You brought them in. Yep. Bless. There's two left. I don't need them. I just ate buds on a road trip. You brought them in. Yep. Bless. There's two left. I don't need them. I just ate a lot of birthday pancakes.

And the birthday pancakes had birthday banana, birthday Nutella, and birthday caramel popcorn cluster ice cream on top. And then, like, do you get birthday sex from Mr. Bun Buns? Megan! Good lord. Oh, is this? How intrusive. We'll chat about this afterwards.

Yeah, that's girl chat time Just nod Anyway, that's our introduction today for the podcast Enjoy the podcast And stay safe, fellow New Zealanders listening In New Zealand The rest of you can get fucked But New Zealanders

You're already riddled We've got to knuckle down. Let's get to knuckling. What does that mean? I don't know. Get to knuckling. It sounds disgusting. It sounds filthy, doesn't it?

It wasn't my intention. I do apologize. Happy Friday. Well, it's a Friday Friday That's completely undeniable Yes But yeah Whether our weekend or not Will be locked down

We find out at 5.30 This afternoon There'll be a Jacinda announcement Still a one o'clock presser Yeah one o'clock presser Then Parliament right? Yeah Cabinet mates Yep Cabinet has a chit chat And then 5.30 this afternoon Another update Yeah, one o'clock presser, then Parliament, right? Yeah.

Cabinet meets? Yeah, Cabinet has a chit-chat, and then 5.30 this afternoon, another update. About? Yeah. Yeah, what happens next? Good to hear there's the Eden Park testing site, because did you see on the news last night, I saw the journo was just going up to people in the cars waiting, because some people are waiting like 10 hours, 8 hours at some of these spots.

And she asked a couple of people, do you guys have any symptoms? They're like, nah, just wanted a test. It's just like, you shouldn't be in the line. Yeah, the priority goes to those with symptoms, right? If you believe you've been exposed. Could they have someone in PPE going down the line being like, do you have symptoms?

Do you have symptoms? Please go away. I think they were, but it was like a long line. Yeah. I saw that. It's weird seeing places that you're familiar with. They're like, this is the St. Luke's testing station. And you're like, but that's not anywhere near the, oh.

Like just how long the lines were. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well. Hey, on the bright side, it is executive producer Anya's birthday today. Oh. Did you hear that?

What gift did you try to live executive producer for the day? Oh, my God. No, you're back to an intern on Monday. Executive producer Anna, because that's her real name. Oh, Anna. Thank you. I'm really going to struggle with that. It's a birthday gift I've always wanted.

Happy birthday. Thank you. We've got a couple of little treats for you today. Oh, God. One, I'm making those pancakes, I promised. Yes. How are you making pancakes? I've got pancake mix.

Yep. I've got a little flipper. And I believe there's a panini press here at work. You could cook a pancake on a panini press. Yeah. Yeah. It might be a little bit rectangle, but it doesn't matter. What?

Well, because the panini press is skinny. You can make pancakes. Megan, you realise that you can... I'm making small, round ones. Yeah, you realise you can put a circle on a rectangle. No, but I thought if you're making like big ones, they're not going to reach the edge. No, I looked into making crepes.

And I told you you can make crepes. And not on a panini press. The top six is coming up. Yeah, there's a new term, doom scrolling. That's where you just scroll news, waiting for bad news. I've had to stop this. We need a right now. Yeah.

I've turned off most notifications. Yep. I find that otherwise you can just, you know, you're finally getting to do something that's not related and then you get a notification and you're like, oh God. You're back to the doom scrolling.

I clump my bad news or news. Yeah. I clump it when I want to deal with it rather than just endlessly scrolling through it. But if you are a doom scroller, the top six other types of scrolling, you could try instead. All right, it's coming up.

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. A TV personality in Croatia. I just wanted to put that out there because people in Croatia will absolutely know who this person is. It's kind of triggered me because like exactly one year ago, I was in Croatia. Remember travelling? Vaguely.

It's a distant memory. Nevin is his name. Did you see anything about Nevin Siginovic? Never heard of Nevin. Stravo. What? Stravo. What's Stravo? To our Croatian listeners. Is that hello? Hello.

You should know that. It was a year ago. Stravo. That's the one thing you learn at least when you go to speaking countries. Yeah, but I left and then I didn't have to remember, did I? Stravo. Dobro, jobro, jobro. Are you massacring the Croatian language?

Dobro, yep. That'sro. Are you massacring the Croatian language? Dobro, yep, jobro. Because that's very close to Czech. Good morning. Well, they're kind of in the vicinity, aren't they? Yeah, very close. So, Nevin, he went to get a rhinoplasty, a nose job, to correct his septum in 2017. Somebody was on the nose candy too much.

Oh, yeah, deviated septum. Right. Or just wanted a nose job, but the doctor said, I have to do this. Yeah. I can't breathe properly. You may have heard me go. I mean, I don't, I'm not being awful,

but I don't think that's the only plastic surgery that he's had. Oh, okay. And each to their own, that's fine. You do you. Yeah, yeah. So got a nose job, that's fine. Yeah, you do you. Yeah, yeah. So got a nose job and that was fine, but when he woke up, he was

shocked to find that he had an erection. Oh, okay. And it didn't go away. Sometimes that just happens in the morning, Megan. Yeah. Well, I mean, he was waking up. Right. You know, they try playing with themselves. That's a pretty good way to get rid of one.

The problem was it didn't go away for three months. What? Yeah. So he woke up with it. And also, before you laugh, he had to have three surgeries to get it back to normal. What did he have? The surgery? The follow-up surgery? What was that on? The penis? How is the nose

connected to the... Well, the nose bone's connected to the dick bone. The doctors don't know why it happened, but he was taking gym supplements and he said one of the side effects of one of his supplements was boosting his sex drive so he said maybe it had something to do with it.

But I thought when you have surgery... I'm sorry, what gym supplement boosts your sex drive? Sounds to me like you're taking a sex supplement. Yeah. But when you go for surgery, don't they make you stop taking those like a week before so it doesn't affect what's going on with your body? Yeah, I guess so.

But yeah, so he had three... It's called pre-prism. Pre-prism. And it's a painful, long-lasting erection not accompanied by sexual desire. And he had that for three months. Yeah, you'd get sick of that. I mean, you guys have got penises.

How would that be like? Embarrassing. It'd be awkward. Yeah. Yeah. You'd have to tuck it in. Because I took one of those Indian stiffing pills once. What?

What? Oh, that was your friend that was... I remember this story. It's very funny. What was it called? What were you thinking? No, I was like... No, it wasn't in a...

It was a knockoff version of a popular drug. Yeah, exactly. What were you thinking? But it was made in the same place. Like, that's why when... Remember when COVID last... It's like Pam's. Pam's Viagra.

It's made in the same place. It's like Pam's... Tastes the samera. It's made in the same place. It's like Pam's paracetamol. Yeah. But it was made, remember last time their lockdown happened, everyone's like, well, there's gonna be

a shortage of this medication, that medication because it's made in China and India and there's like trade lockdowns and stuff. So yeah, he just,

he imported them and then had to go to customs with a doctor's certificate to say he had erectile dysfunction and they're like, still do you need 900? And so he took them and they're like still do you need 900? So he took them and he was like

seems to work. All good. And then another mate took one and I was like I trust you a bit more. Why are you all taking them? Just to be fun? Yeah. Unless you like need it which no shame. Just tried it.

Okay. And yeah, it lasted. Yep. How long? So Friday, I took it on Friday. No, I don't recommend this. This is my tale of caution for everybody. Yeah.

I mean, it is a prescription drug, Vaughn. Yeah. Yeah. And so then you get it and then it lasts and then you could relieve it through by yourself or with a loved one. Yeah. You know, you have to be in love to have sex. That's a fact.

And then pretty quickly, you're really ready to go again quite quickly. And then that but then like it'll go away but then if you think about something it'll come back and that lasted for like

two and a half days like most of the weekend wow like there was times where you didn't have an erection but at the same time like it didn't take long

to get it all started again I think what your point is Va Vaughan, is don't do it. I was young and silly and don't do it. Unless recommended by a medical professional. Exactly, yes. Who have got their hands full at the moment. And you'll have your bloody hands full too. If you're taking those on a bloody cargo flight from New Delhi.

Anyway, we live and we learn. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. An influencer is in trouble. This comes from a UNESCO natural landmark. UNESCO. You know, like World Heritage Sites? You go somewhere and it's United Nations

um, is it educational, scientific, cultural? UNESCO. Organisation or something like that. Isn't that one somewhat of a natural wonder? The one that she's on? So she's, uh, the ancient White Chalk Cliffs in the UK.

Oh, in Dover. It's UK's only UNESCO World Heritage Site. I would have thought Stonehenge would have been a World Heritage Site as well, but maybe not. But that is weird that it's not. The White Cliffs of Dover, is that it? Because the Broadchurch. Yes. Was that

Broadchurch at the White Cliffs? Yeah, yeah, Broadchurch was somewhere down there. So she... These are 180 million year old cliffs, by the way, in Dorset. A hugely popular tourist draw card on the Jurassic Coast. Yeah. A friend of ours had that amazing drone footage. That's right, yeah.

It looks fascinating. I don't know if it was meant to have a drawing up there, but. Wow. It's better than what she did, that's for sure. This influencer, she scribed her name into the,

now she's not the only one that's like, if you look here. Yeah, but most people have deniability. They're not, oh, that's a picture of her doing it.

And also. Isn't that her Instagram handle? Yeah, and she's even drawn the little doing it. Isn't that her Instagram handle? Yeah, and she's even drawn the little Instagram logo. Follow me on my gram. Wait, so she carved in her gram. Yeah. Yeah, her gram handle. Yes.

That's for some reason worse, eh? Yeah. So, I mean, there's like. It's like plastering an ad on there. Yeah, like there's Tim R. He's just put his name in there, but we're never going to find Tim R. Because it could be many Tim R's, you know. Too vague.

Love birds putting their initials in love hearts. I know a Tim R. I just searched Tim R on my Facebook search bar. Yeah, I know a Tim R. Three Tim R's. Right. Bloody Tim R. I'm going to hit them up next time I see them.

Did you carve your name into the white cliffs of Dover, you silly Tim? So there's a girl called Anna. She actually cleans up a lot of the graffiti. And she's kind of drawing this to everybody's attention. Alexandra Milyam, 12.4 thousand followers. She's from London. She's got a discount code there as well. If you want to use that for a shopping website.

Just on Instagram. I thought you said she carved her discount code into that. if you want to use that for a shopping website. On Instagram? She carved her discount code into the white clothes. No, could you imagine? I was like, well, you've got to be able to promise that that's going to work. Yeah.

No photos on her Instagram, though, of the trip to the white clothes. I don't know. She might have taken that down. But most of her stuff is just shopping anyway. I got offered a discount code.

Somebody said, I won't say what product it was, do you want one of these? And put a photo of her and offer a discount code. I was like, nah, because I don't like a discount code. Somebody said, I won't say what product it was. Do you want one of these? And put a photo of it and offer a discount code. I was like, nah, because I don't like doing discount codes. So my discount code was Vaughan5. And I was like, five? Was it like 5%?

Yeah, is that 5% off? So I went in to look and other people were doing like 20. I was like, well, there's a slap in the face. Or did you try putting a 20 after Vaughan? No, no. They said if we give you one of these things and you tell everybody about it, they can also use your discount code Vaughan5. But then

other people were doing their name in 20. Why was I only worth 5? That really hurt my feelings. Yeah. I'm glad I told them I didn't want to do it. Even before that. Yeah. You're putting I told them I didn't want to do it even before that. Yeah. You're bringing me that stink discount code.

Why am I worth a quarter of their discount? It would be better for me to tell people about their discount code. I get more of a discount than if they went with my shitty discount code. All right, the top six is next. Are the top six types of scrolling to do instead of doom scrolling? Now, this is a new term. Yeah, it's kind of been around for a while,

though, when there's bad news and you just sit there waiting for it to get worse, scrolling through the news headlines and people's thoughts on it. I.e. our lives right now.

Uh-huh. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. From the ZM think tank, this is the top six. Doom scrolling. It's slowly

eroding your mental health. It's not good for you. This is where you keep scrolling through social media feeds looking for the most recent upsetting news about the latest catastrophe as according to UrbanDictionary.com. That's meaning two. Meaning one, if you've ever been on UrbanDictionary.com. That's meaning two. Meaning one, if you've ever been on urbandictionary.com,

it's filthy. So we'll skip that one. But that's what we want to talk about in today's top six. Yeah. Doomstrolling, especially at the moment with the uncertainty of what is going to be announced this afternoon with regards to COVID alert levels in New Zealand. Yeah, so there's a one o'clock press conference,

then there'll be a cabinet meeting, and then at 5.30, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern will address the nation. Yeah, after the one o'clock press yesterday where they said 13 new cases, I actually said to Shadow, I was like, we turn it off and we do other stuff until the news. I know. You can't sit here all afternoon. We did that a bit last time and it's not good for you.

You kind of want to know though. You want to know like where's the new cases from. You'll find out. Yeah. You'll find out. Yeah. I mean, if you're in the safety of your home and you're following the rules,

I mean, possibly if you think you could have been exposed to it, but at the same time, it can be really detrimental to your mental health. And then there's the spin that certain news organisations put on things. You've got unhelpful people spreading mistruths. Yeah. And if you're a close contact, they're going to get in touch with you. Sure.

So it's just better to not be scrolling. The top six other types of scrolling to do instead of doom scrolling. Number six, ham and cheese scrolling. Oh, yum. That's where you eat ham and cheese scrolls. I know you, Fletch, you're a massive fan of this. I am. I'm up for a ham and cheese scrolling.

Yeah. Well, it's a brioche. Is that different than a scroll? Yeah, that's what they call it. Ham and cheese brioche. Oh. But technically it's a scroll. But yeah, it is of the scroll family, right?

Because it's been rolled. Rolled. But it's a different dough. It's a special dough. Like a panini. No. Ham and cheese wheel. Yeah,

yeah. What are those things called with cinnamon? Pinwheel scones. Oh, damn. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. With a bit of apple on it. Like pizza pinwheels. You made those? Oh, yeah,

they were good. With pepperoni. They were good stuff. All those things you get from sales. What are those? The little knots. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, garlic knots. we've just branched off into any carbohydrates ever sales. What are those? The little knots. Oh, yeah. Yeah, garlic knots. We've just branched off into any carbohydrates ever here. What are those little pizza things they do? Pizzas? No, no, no. They do little... That's what you're talking about.

Yeah, the pepperoni scrolls. Oh, not the garlic knot. They do garlic knots and the pepperoni scrolls. Oh, yeah. Like wheels. How great are carbs, though? Yeah, you got us onto a real tangent of carbs. And while we're on those wheelie carbs, Chelsea buns.

I knew you were going to say Chelsea buns. Oh, my God. We need to bring those back. Cha-cha-cha. With a juicy sultana in it. Yes. And a custard. And lots of icing.

Lots of icing. Pink icing with coconut. Anything. Custard and a little sultana. It's got to have coconut on top. Yes. Juicy sultanas. Oh of icing. Pink icing with coconut. Anything. It's got to have coconut on top. Oh, yeah. Juicy sultanas. Oh, yeah. Juicy.

Oh, yeah. Juicy sultanas. In the, like, 90s, they were, like, a proper treat. And Boston buns. Sally Lunn buns. Yeah, I just found them a little bit dry. Do they still make them? They do, because I saw one in the supermarket the other day,

and I was like, I haven't had one of those for years. Because they're the big ones, eh? You'd buy them, and mum would buy one of those rather than buying a four-pack of them. Yeah, and she'd, like, put margarine in the middle. You'd have to, they were so dry. Yeah. It was like a big loaf of Swedish bread with pink icing on top.

I think if I got a Sally Lunn bun now, I'd just chop the, like, first centimetre off, and then just chuck the base away, and then just eat that. You'd be better to go for a Chelsea bun then, a small Chelsea bun. Yeah, maybe. No, you cut it in half, and then just chuck the base away and then just eat that. You'd be better to go for a Chelsea bun then, a small Chelsea bun. No, you cut it in half and then you put the icing

in the middle. Hot play. Hot play, yeah. Like with a cupcake and you plonk it on. Yeah, like a sandwich. If you've just joined us, we're talking carbs.

Ah, carbs. We should talk about the chips I tried yesterday later in the piece. Okay, write it down. Write that down. I don't have a pen. What number are we up to?

We've only done six. Oh. Number five on the list of the top. See, I thought this next one was going to be our big distraction point, but no time for that now. Top six other types of scrolling to do instead of doom scrolling. Dead sea scrolling. That's where you do a deep dive into the Dead Sea Scrolls. Yeah, okay.

I don't know a lot about the Dead Sea Scrolls. I don't even know that. They were discovered in like 1946 and 1947, and then they found bits and pieces through until 1956. There were these old scrolls in these caves on the side of the Dead Sea that have been there for like a couple of thousands of years. Jesus wrote them. Whoa.

Yeah, he tagged on it at the bottom. Jesus drew a dick and balls. Now, I thought that was a little below our Lord and Saviour, but apparently not. I know, but yeah, it's quite amazing. Yeah. That was what I just started reading about them and then I realised I had 30 seconds to do the remaining four,

so don't expect a lot from here. Okay. It's really fascinating reading. Okay. I'm not much for a religious document, but just the... They sat in those caves for so long. Anyway. What was the humidity and the air temperature like in the caves for them to last so long?

It must have been pretty good. Okay, well, we can find out in our deep dive. Yeah. You can do your own little deep dive if you've got some time on your hand. Hands? Yeah. Two hands. Unless you've only got one hand.

Yeah, then you were right. Yeah. Don't apologise. I mean, yeah. Number four on the list of the top six other types of scrolling, Nick Scrolling. That's about Nick Kroll. Niche reference here, but he's the guy that does... Big Mouth.

Big Mouth. You love Big Mouth. I love Big Mouth. Big Mouth is great. He's got the weirdest podcast with the other guy that does Big Mouth who did the comedy special. Oh, I love him. He's amazing.

John Mulaney. John Mulaney. John Mulaney and Nick Stroll's podcast is so weird. They pretend to be two old guys. Oh, I need to hear this. And they talk to celebrities. Really? It's really funny but very weird.

We can do some Nick crawling. Okay. Number three on the list are the other types of scrolling to do instead of doom scrolling, wrist scrolling. This is where you spend a lot of time balling up meat and then flattening it slightly and then barbecuing it. As a scroll. As meat.

Yeah, put some breadcrumbs in there, some onions, some sauce. Yeah, and make yourself some wrist scrolls. Okay. Alternatively, you can roll them really flat and then squish them flat and then roll them up so they do have a scroll-like appearance. Yeah, nice. Up to you. Number two on the list is another edible

scroll to do instead of derm-scrolling a spring scroll. Oh, yum. That's a deep fried. With sweet chilli. Yeah, I myself prefer the freshness of a summer scroll. Right. With the rice paper around it. Yeah, yum. Yum, those are really good.

And number one on the list of the other types of scrolling to do instead of doom scrolling, go for a lovely scroll in the park with loved ones. Much, oh, much better for you than doom scrolling. That's today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Yesterday, I'll briefly touch on the fact That's today's top six ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The podcast Yesterday But can I just I'll briefly touch on the fact My

I'm going to stop Sort of saying panic buy Okay My stocking up Has been wildly different This time It's been different this time Okay

Because last time it was like I think I got like Six bottles of Jamesons And the only thing that stopped me doing that again is where I ordered my Jamesons from didn't have Jamesons. Anyway, I bought new running shoes. Also,

there's a fitness angle to this panic buy. I cannot do what I did last time. How many people have you heard say, I'm not doing, I'm not going to be the same, it's not going to be the same lockdown as last time. I have to do different this time. I've heard that from so many people.

But then I had a half a can of Pringles last night. But then it's balance because I went for a run. Oh, that's balance. So I was on the run was where I delivered this death glare because I was running and I stopped at an intersection and kind of like looked around just, you know, before I crossed the road. And there was one of the brand new Land Rover Defenders coming up the road.

And a 2020 Land Rover Defender. Worth like heaps of money. How much would they be brand new? Like 90, entry level's 90K. Right, okay. And it's beautiful. So I stopped and I wait for it to drive up so I can give the driver a bit of a thumbs up.

Because you were on the TV, you got to drive one. Yeah, lovely. You've got an old one. Yeah, lovely vehicle. And it pulled up to the intersection, and the driver was like 20. And so I went, I was going to wave and give a thumbs up, but then I just looked at him.

He didn't look at me for too long, but he would have got a real feeling of me being like, meh. Like a jealousy death. A jealous death glare. Why do you get one of those and I don't get one of those? You're only 20. They're not fair.

Like a real. But it could have been like his parents or something. But then even then, like he's driving a- He's getting to drive it. When I was 20, if I wanted to borrow my parents' car, I wasn't allowed the nice one.

Oh, you wouldn't. I would never have been allowed. Like, we never had a car worth that much. No, God, no. No. So you always had to take mum's little one.

And so I gave him and then he drove away and then I just tried to get on with my life. Now, I came in and I said to everybody how I gave this 20-year-old a death glare

and it was when executive producer Anna... Because it's her birthday, so we have to call her real title and name. You said this happens to Bun Buns all the time. Yes. So Bun Buns is your boyfriend and he works for Driven, which is the part of this company that does car stuff.

Yes. Reviews cars. Driven.co.nz. Sells cars. Thank you, Megan. Has information on cars, articles on cars. Yeah, so he reviews cars quite often. Oh, sorry?

He took us in the Mustang, and the brand new, that was fun. Yeah, he's got some good vroom-vrooms. We went real fast within the speed limit. You accelerated fast. Yeah, we got to the speed limit very quickly. But not too fast. Not dangerously fast. No.

I always complain about the G-forces because he always does that when we get on the motorway. But God, the G-forces get me. He's not paying for petrol, is he? No, he's not. So yeah, so a few times a week he will have a car to review a brand new car that he'd never be able to afford any of us would be yeah no one's reviewing a 92 corolla anymore um and often we every time we take one of these cars out we will get death glares and i think it's either one type of death glare as you mentioned like jealous old

mate okay okay you guys obviously have got rich parents. Yeah, trust us, baby. Yeah. Or the other day, we were testing this, like a convertible one, and it didn't have a roof, and then it started raining. So we were driving along, and we both had put our hoodies up. And then we got all these death glares, and I think people thought we were robbers.

In a convertible. Yeah. Because we both looked very out of place. Why didn't you put the roof on? Because you had to pull over and it was like a click-clack lid. A click-clack lid? Yeah. I should be doing these reviews.

Who made this car? Is this Steamer? Click-clack. Yeah. And a bit of spaghetti bolognese juices leaking down the inside. The car was clean until someone put spag bol on it and it was never the same again. Positive from a primary school student on the North Shore of Auckland.

Also MIT, somebody at the MIT testing positive as well. Unsure if those are included in the 17 that were announced yesterday. And if they're related to the cluster. Yeah, that initial cluster. So there'll be a one o'clock update today and then at 5.30, the Prime Minister will address the nation

after a cabinet meeting to decide the nation's lockdown fate. What's happening? Yeah, so we'll update you with the latest news next. But coming up on the show. Bluff or stuff. We are giving away a much in demand product. So we've given away all kinds of stuff, haven't we?

Hair straighteners, makeup. Perfume. Yep. But none. Have compared to the Satisfyer Pro 2. The next generation. The next generation. The next sexual revolution.

And if there was ever a time that you needed it. Oh my God. Potential lockdown again. How much do these cost? Having never purchased one. $70. Is that all? Is that all? Is it 70 bucks?

I thought it was more than that. I was expecting it to be a couple of hundred. I thought that was Spinnies as. I mean $70. I googled Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation, and I've got like four ads at the top who promised they can get it to me the quickest. Please.

Okay, who can promise me the quickest? Click and collect. This one was $79,, down to 47.95 Wow, okay Don't cheapen the prize we're giving away Hold on, that was that one It's like when you sell something on This one's 69.99, nice

Yeah, okay I'll continue to do my research I just googled like sales figures But I can't find any sales figures But this is literally like The must have, eh? Yes But

I mean like You can order it That's all good But when are you going to get it? You know? We've got this in our hands now ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Well, yesterday there was a 1pm press briefing fronted by Dr. Ashley Bloomfield and Jacinda Ardern.

And it was a hard, well, we've had them every now and then, but there hasn't been the consistent every day. But yeah, it feels like we're getting back into that routine again, doesn't it? Well, yesterday he said, Dr. Ashley Bloomfield said that it was going to be that every day at 1pm. And so much so, it gives people comfort during these times that it's actually been listed on IMDB. It's called the 1pm Daily Update and New Zealanders are loving it. I'm again living for all of the meme and that kind of associated content. It's getting me through. It's been a nice little great few days of memes.

So this is pretty cool. This is like the full cast. So for those that don't know, everybody knows IMDB, right? Oh, it's their movie database. Yeah. Anything you need to know about a movie or... If you're not watching a television show,

but at the same time on your phone looking up where you know that person from. Hey, Johnny, who does Amazon? Amazon? Because when you're watching on Amazon and you pause it, it shows you people in the scene or the music that's in the scene and like location facts about the scene. And I'm always just like, this is saving me so much time. Thanks, Amazon.

Get onto it, please, everybody else. But any time I'm about to start a new show, I'm like, okay, what's this? And Google the IMDb rating of the Rotten Tomatoes. Yeah. So the 1pm Daily Update, one of the segments of IMDb is the full cast and crew. And Justin Walls, New Zealand Herald political reporter, has been in six episodes so far. Oh, my God. Ellen Wendt, the New Zealand sign language interpreter.

Oh yeah, he's in there. Is he undercast? Yep. Jason Walls is under there under a political reporter. Jacinda Ardern

playing Self, the Prime Minister of New Zealand. Ashley Bloomfield, Self, Director General of Health. And then yeah, the other reporters

that are there and then you can review it or like what you give it out of 10. Does it have pictures of the reporters? Because I want to see someone do, because you're hearing these guys' voices every day. I know, as soon as you said Jason reporter, I was like, I know,

because Jacinda's like, Jason. Tova. Jess. You know Tova and Jessica Mutch. They know them so well, right? Jessica Mutch-McKide. She calls her Jess, right? Yeah.

Because I'm like, we don't know her by Jess. And then who, yesterday, who's the Australian guy calls her Jess, right? Yeah. Because I'm like, we don't know her by Jess. And then who, yesterday, who's the Australian guy? He's got an Australian accent. I want to see what his face looks like. Because I've heard him every day. You've had your turn, Alan. And they're like, just wait, Alan hasn't had a turn yet. And you can't

see Alan, but you imagine he's like, thanks. Because he's just getting stem rolled by the Tober O'Brien machine. I love that someone set up an IMDB for this. This is the storyline. Okay. Because that's why if you set up an IMDB,

you have to give a brief that says, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and Director General of Health Ashley Bloomfield report on the latest COVID-19 updates with the New Zealand

government's response. Storyline. Set in a dystopian world where autocratic and populist leaders are in charge of the USA, China, UK, Brazil and many other nations, the 1pm daily update takes place in an imaginary island called New Zealand. Wow, that's brilliant.

And you know, another thing on IMDb, there's the trivia section. Yeah. Did you know? The role of Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern almost went to Bill English? However, producer Winston Peters decided Jacinda Ardern was better suited to the role. The role of opposition leader was originally played

by Simon Bridges. However, due to fan backlash, the role was recasted due to Collins for season two. Wow. Jacinda Ardern's former career as a DJ has not been affected by the show's success. She has been on a permanent hiatus from DJing to pursue other interests since 2017. Spoiler alert.

Because it says spoilers. Now, these are trivia, but it may give away spoilers. The trivia items below may give away plot points. Some of the levels are actually unqualified extras, brought on by producers to add a level of tension. Affectionately known as morons by the crew, these idiots are tasked with asking inane, repetitive, and irrelevant questions from the depths of the internet. It's really like, it's good, man. People are starting to get deep into it.

What have they rated the show? The rating. Does it have an IMDb rating or is it too early? It's had 125 reviews, but as you know, oh, nine and a half out of 10. Based on 590 reviews. Wow. So this is the thing, you've got to log in to get a, you've got to start up an IMDb membership to be able to rate it

and add these things, but it's really well done. Absolutely brilliant. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Gosh, as we wait with bated breath for today's presser at 5.30 to find out where we're going with the levels, what's happening.

Do you think it'll be a presser or it'll be her and the beehive again? I think 1pm's gonna be the presser. Cabinet meeting. 5pm's gonna be the Jacinda sitting at the desk or standing in front of the set announcing

oh very official yeah wow I mean you've gotta be official and then people are like she can't just be crossing to her on the couch and her track has been like having a ciggy

been like I just finished this it's got half a can of Cody's next to her yeah guys when do we blame her you guys wanna hit level 4 we're gonna hit level 4

sweet later ball imagine turn on the PlayStation Oh, when do we blame her? You guys want to hit level four? We're going to hit level four. Sweet. Later, ball. Imagine. Turn on the PlayStation. Yeah. There's more anxiety this time, probably because I know what we're in for. Yeah, well, that's true.

And then also, like, will it be just the North Island? Like, if there's been no results in the South Island today. 100% could be a North Island lockdown. Could just be North only or Upper North. So here's a dilemma. Okay. If we're in level three, as a cafe, we still have the ability to open for takeaways. So we have like a little window.

We can do coffees and cabinet food and have it take away from the window. But if we go into level four, we're shut. So we always do donuts at the weekend. Do I do a hundred donuts and sort it all out, ready for the weekend, or

do I just can it now? What's your like, how much do you stand to lose should you invest your time and your money getting all the donuts all sorted and not being able to sell them? Just for the donuts, it would be hundreds. Right.

We're taking hundreds. Hundreds. Now, if you made them all today, can you just wait till 5.30? No, because you need to order food before then, don't you? You need to order food. And yeah, this is a thing for lots of restaurants and cafes and stuff.

You need to be prepared and you need to order today for the weekend. Like for us, our weekend is our biggest time. But then if you go into lockdown, you've got a whole lot of stock that you just... If you did make them today and then worst case, Jacinda says, we're going into level four tomorrow. Do you have friends that you know that could eat 100 donuts? I mean, yes. You do?

I definitely could find people to pass the donuts onto for sure. But are you going to pay me for them? Absolutely not. I mean, what are you going to sell them? I saw online a butcher, Aussie Butcher in New Lynn in Auckland. Right. And a butcher, Aussie butcher in New Lynn in Auckland, they gave a whole bunch of product to places that were looking after refugees of domestic violence. So people that, you know, women's refugees and these other places as well,

people who are in danger. So they have to get out of that situation because that's an area that at this particular, particularly in these times, but all the times, quite stretched for resource. So I saw that and I was like, that's a cool thing to do. Because they can, butcheries can't open level three, can they? area that at this particular, particularly in these times, but all the times quite stretched for resource. So I saw that and I was like, that's a cool thing to do. Because they can, butcheries can't open level three, can they? Nah.

And no, I don't think they sell enough of a range of things to be considered an essential service. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, that sucks for them, but it was pretty cool to see them being like, well, you know, it is what it is and this is what we're going to do. Meats, that's awesome. And we'd totally consider doing that, but it's easier because it can be frozen and passed on safely. Because when you're a business, you're talking about health and safety of food. So if it's pre-prepared and you're passing it on, you can't guarantee the safety of it.

Have you ever just thought of giving the seagulls of Takapuna Beach the treat of their lives? Backing up and just opening the door and just be like, Flop flip help yourselves imagine it but I do feel for lots of businesses today it sucks but if we have to do it

we have to do it and maybe be that in mind too if we don't go into level 4 tomorrow maybe there could be some cafes and businesses tomorrow that aren't prepared

because they didn't want to order so much food if you're visiting them. Give everyone a bit of patience because no one knows what's happening at the moment. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. For Bluff or Stuff. It's time for Bluff or Stuff.

We've given away all kinds of stuff. Fragrances. Yeah, lots of stuff. Makeup. Yeah, coffee makers. All kinds of desirable prizes.grances. Yeah, lots of stuff. Makeup. Here's straight now. Yeah, coffee makers. All kinds of desirable prizes. But right now, a prize, you would say probably one of the most sought after items of 2020. Yeah.

Aside from toilet paper. Yeah. Should we, I'm just thinking we're live streaming. Should we just... Oh, yeah. Okay, Mountie's done that. Okay, so... There'll be no cheating.

Somebody, I believe we've cut the live stream, so you're not going to be able to cheat by viewing online. Oh, yes, it's gone to dark. I can see now. Yes. Who's going to hold it? Hayden joins us. Good morning, Hayden.

Morning. Welcome to Bluff or Stuff. Do you know what you're playing for? I've got an idea, but I'm not too sure on the details of it, but it sounds pretty exciting, I think. Very exciting. Possibly not for me, but for my wife, but it sounds pretty exciting, I think. Very exciting. Possibly not for me, but for my wife, maybe. Yeah, no, for the wife.

You'd be playing to win. I like that you're not intimidated by this. Well, I mean, it's all about fun, isn't it, at the end of the day? Yeah, you're right, Hayden. You could be putting yourself out of a job, Hayden, if you win this. No, he's just got a new workmate. Is that a way of looking at it? Yep. You are playing today, Bluffelstuff, for the

Satisfyer Pro 2, the next generation. These things. Well, see if I know. It's got to be exciting, doesn't it? The reviews are in, Hayden, and it's a five out of five. You've got one in your house, Vaughn. Megan's house, refusing to budge on this. I don't say refusing to. I've got

one. I haven't opened it. Well, that seems a bit pointless, doesn't it? Yeah, I know. I agree. Try these things. She's a bit, yeah. She's a bit what? I don't know.

You don't like fun, do you? You don't, okay. You don't like it when we have these discussions. I know, because I end up vomiting in my mouth. So one of us is holding the Satisfyer Pro 2. Would you like to start, Vaughn? Yeah, I'll tell you. I am indeed holding

the Satisfyer Pro 2. It's waterproof. Water resistant. I wouldn't hold it. I wouldn't like take it diving, for example. You should be concentrating on what you're doing.

Why are you not that adventurous? Well, no, I'm thinking if you've got oxygen tanks on your back, you should probably be concentrating. Yeah. True, true. Probably keeping your wetsuit on. Oh are you not that adventurous? No, I'm thinking if you've got oxygen tanks on your back, you should probably be concentrating. True, true. Probably keeping your wetsuit on. I'd probably go through the

wetsuit, to be totally honest. But the speeds on that thing is up to a high spares. It's got the old certified European tick of approval too so it could be sold in the EU. Which is always great for any product. You know that, Vaughan, because you're looking at the box that I'm holding. Hayden, I can tell you the Satisfye Pro 2 is next generation.

It's USB charge because I can see the little... Everything's USB charge these days, Hayden. I'm USB charge. I can tell you on the side there's a whisper mode, a pressure wave, and touch-free something stimulation. Wow. Okay, wow. Wow. Wow. Okay, wow. Wow.

Wow. I've got an idea for you. Is it light? What's that? I think it's quite light. Yeah. For all its functions, I'd expect it to weigh more. Seeing as I'm holding it, Hayden, I could give it a little shake.

All right, do that for me. See, I'm holding it. Megan, are you holding it? Well, I can tell you I'm holding it Megan, are you holding it? Well, I can tell you I'm holding it I can tell you there's a woman on the front of the box waving a flag It's got a safety seal on it

so that I can't open it Oh, you can see that because I'm holding the box Waving a flag? What, the finish line? Yes I actually guess so It's got a target on the flag Yeah, it's a weird flag

I can tell you more about the flag because I'm holding the box But yeah, it's a weird flag. I can tell you more about the flag because I'm holding the box. But yeah, it's like a target. Maybe it's about targeting in, you know? You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Bullseye. Bullseye.

If you guys are holding the box, what does this logo on the bottom left say? I simply couldn't repeat that. I can tell you it's a German Design Award nominee 2019. So it didn't win. What beat that in Germany? What do the Germans know? And what's the design? Is it for the shape of it or the...

Are you Googling the German Design Awards for 2019? I want to see what beat the Satisfyer Pro 2. It was a close race. And while we all had lots of fun with the Satisfyer Pro 2 next generation, the winner is... Something else. What was it? I'm just waiting on the envelope.

Oh, there's so many different... A chair! I think it was a chair. A chair! I think there's different categories. So we might have to do a deep dive into the German Design Awards of 2019. A chair can bring relief, too. Yeah.

Throw your feet. After a long, hard day, sometimes you just want to sit on a chair. And sometimes you want to sit on the Satisfyer Pro chair. I guess it's more universal, isn't it? Could you imagine the furniture industry? Everyone can use a chair. Well, this is true. It's true.

All right. Okay, you need to eliminate one of us, Hayden. Who's definitely not holding? I would think Megan, actually. The fact that she's got one and won't touch it at home says to me that she's free. Not going to want to touch this one at work. Detective Hayden.

That is correct. Yes. Good work. All right. Hayden, I'll just tell you, it's easy to clean. That's written on the box. That's good to know. A dishwasher?

Could you put in the... I wouldn't put in the dishwasher. No, I don't think so. Just from my own personal experience, I wouldn't put in the dishwasher. I've got a Powerball. A what? You know, the little tamps inside. There's a Powerball.

Oh, God. I thought the Powerball was what went with the Satisfyer Pro 2. I was like, where do you put that? Maybe they won their German Design Awards. Exactly. I like you, Hayden. Hayden, is it Vaughn or Fletch holding the Satisfyer Pro 2? Vaughn.

Are you double sure? Hayden. Oh, not now. I'll stick with the answer. What the hell? That is incorrect. I told you, Hayden. It won the Women's Nominee for the 2019 German Design Awards.

Neither of us could see that tiny wee logo on the corner of the box that Fletch was holding. And I gave it a shake. I'm not particularly disappointed, but maybe my wife will be. But I tell you what, you can get one for $47.95 at Adult Toy Megastore, and that's not a paid endorsement. No, that's a non-spawn, isn't it? That's a non-spawn, and they were deemed an essential service last time, so I'll be able to pop that in the post for you.

Thanks for playing. That'll be back next week with Bluffel Stuff. Why wait till next week? Oh, well, because it's Friday. Yes, well, I reckon we'll just hitel stuff. Why wait till next week? Oh, well, because it's Friday. Yes. I reckon we'll just hit it Monday. See how work days work? I reckon we'll hit it Monday.

Okay. Keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier. As at Herald's new podcast, the front page is your short, sharp daily news podcast. Join me, Damien Venuto, every weekday morning as I chat with journalists and newsmakers going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest news stories of the day.

Listen to the front page at nzherald.co.nz slash podcasts and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Vaughan's making pancakes pancakes Vigorously shaking pancake mix Behind the scenes

It's executive intern Anya's birthday today So as a birthday present We are calling her executive producer Anya Her Anna Real title Anna, her actual name Real title and real name

It's Megan's fault your name's Anya That's Megan She told Vaughan that was your name Because Vaughan always goes on about how he knows everyone's name And I said no you don't Her name name's Anya. That's Megan. She told Vaughn that was your name. Because Vaughn always goes on about how he knows everyone's name. And I said, no, you don't. Her name's actually Anya. Ha, ha, ha. And then when he found out it was a big joke, he said, stuff ya, I'm keeping it.

I'm keeping it. And it got kept. Sorry. Yeah. Four years later, Anya. Megan's fault. So 24 today. Yeah.

Wow. Who else is having a birthday today? Rebel Sport. Rebel Sport. You were so excited in the group chat last night when you sent that message. You were like, oh my God, guys, guess what? It's Rebel Sport's birthday tomorrow. They're 24, like me.

Isn't that insane that when you were born, they were starting retail stores? It's so exciting. I've never had a birthday twin before, but thank you, Rebel Sport. Because most people were like, oh my God, someone, Rihanna's got the same birthday as me. You're like... That's me. You do have Rihanna as your birthday. And Kurt Cobain. I've got lots of people on the 20th of February.

Do you not know any celebrities this year your birthday? No. Just Rebel Sport. A retail celebrity. We can look this up. Surely there's got to be some... Maybe Halle Berry, I want to say. Oh, that's not a bad. Okay. I've clicked on the wrong thing.

It's Filet Mignon Day today. Oh, fantastic. A cut of meat that is the very definition of luxury and decadence. No, I clicked on the wrong one. That didn't tell me celebrities' birthdays at all. That was days of the year. But it is Rebel Sports' 24th birthday as well, and you were so jazzed about it

that I decided to make the two come together. What? How? What is happening? How? This is how. Anna's one-day 24th birthday is on now. She'll probably head to Super 8 Newmarket

with just $24 in her account. She can barely fill up that crappy Hyundai for $24. A second hand pair of PE Nation leggings are hers for $24. Luckily this box of Pals is now just $24. And she's going to get Bun Buns to spend $24 on Wicked Wings

for her at KFC hungover tomorrow. Plus, being a radio producer, there's no way she'll be able to afford a house in Auckland for the next 24 years either, Even if she lives With her parents No one's got more birthday Than Anna's birthday Discounts off

The white sticker price This is what they do At the end of an ad To make me do The T's and C's And make sure we don't Get in trouble with the law Happy birthday Anna

Great Thank you guys A true birthday gift And happy birthday Rebel Sports Great. Thank you, guys. A true birthday gift. And happy birthday, Rebel Sport. Who can't even be open to celebrate their birthday? Click and collect, surely. I don't know if that's an option.

Yeah, happy birthday to you and happy birthday to Rebel Sport. Thank you. Now let's get some pancakes on this panini for us. ZM's Fletch Warner-Megan, the podcast. We're joined on the phone by a friend of the show, David Farrier. Good morning. Good morning.

How are you? Good. Thank you very much. You know David Farrier from his years on 3 News, the documentaries, Tickled. God.

You know what I could do with David? This might be overstepping the lines and I wouldn't ask him for it, believe me. No, overstep. I want the same thing.

Can we have a David Farrier three news? Yeah. Oh, look. It's been a while, and it's very early in the morning, but it kind of goes like, how did it go? David Farrier, three news. Yes! It just took us back to a time of stability.

I thought you were going to ask David. What a time. I thought you were going to ask David for a hug. Oh, well, he's not here. It was going to be a three. I knew it was going to be that. Physically impossible. Yeah.

Physically impossible. Hugs would have happened. David, you've been doing some incredible writing and delving into the world of conspiracy theories in these COVID times, and we thought what better person to have on than you? Oh, it's getting really crazy out there. Yeah, I've been writing on Webworm for the last couple of months,

kind of since the first lockdown, as people's ideas have been getting increasingly unhinged. And I'm sure you guys hear all this stuff as well. It's getting pretty crazy out there. It is getting worse, isn't it? Because I feel like everywhere I look now, even when I watch the live stream of the one o'clock presses, I see lots of comments on there, and I feel like it's getting worse.

Yeah, and I think what's happening or what I've certainly noticed is that a lot of New Zealand influencers with really big reaches are starting to get into this kind of master QAnon conspiracy theory. Like I saw, I think Jimmy, what's his name? Jimmy, is it Jimmy Jackson? I'm old, so I'm not in touch with these younger people. But he starting to say on his story like oh a bit suspicious about this sort of lockdown and it's just sort of rhetoric coming in and then it goes through to like what some sort of like mummy bloggers are getting onto and that's that this is a plan orchestrated essentially by Bill Gates and Satan but that's the other end of it you know so it's getting pretty crazy. What are we supposed to do?

Because everyone around here has had people that they're hiding or deleting on Facebook. But what happens when it's someone in your extended family or someone that starts hitting you with conspiracy theories? What are you supposed to say? Well, look, I talked to this guy, Mick West, and he was the guy that made Tony Hawk Pro Skater. And he got so rich off that video game,

he retired, and now he debunks conspiracy theories full time. Right. And he sort of said, not a bad career, right? That is the most incredible sentence ever. Oh, it blows my mind. So yeah, this guy, Mick West, he wrote a book down the rabbit hole, and it is basically about how to talk to your family members

that are involved in this stuff. And the first tip is, like, don't get angry and don't engage with them on the internet. Like, don't get into big wars on Facebook comments. It has to be an in-person thing. You kind of have to find your common ground, and then you have to go from there. But you are dealing with sort of a cult mentality, and the trouble with conspiracy theories is if you start denying them, then you're just part of the conspiracy. So it's a real catch-22. Yeah. I thought you

had a great point. The piece you wrote after Pete Evans was on Art and Matilda's podcast, Scouting Nonsense, you had a really good point. It plays into their narrative. If you even give them the airtime to then have it taken away, it plays into their narrative if you even give them the airtime to then have it taken away it plays into their narrative of I'm being silenced by big by the you know big farmer

and big government and stuff poor old Art you know poor old Art I don't think he ever intended to have such a ridiculous conversation he didn't have the tools to have the conversation

but when he posted an apology all his comments were where people were like oh you sold out like you're a shill like you're getting big money for deleting this and so he lost out twice because he published this stupid thing.

And then his apology, it just almost proved Pete Evans' point. Yeah, yeah. It's super tricky, but I think the main thing, like, I think the main thing to understand, we're living in a really interesting time where back when people were debating 9-11 conspiracy theories, for instance, if people were, like, a bit suspicious about that, that didn't necessarily mean they also believed

the moon landing was fake. What we've got now with QAnon, which is this overarching conspiracy theory, is if you believe one of them, you believe all of them. So not only do you believe that a real thing like Jeffrey Epstein is a sex offender, you also believe that there are hundreds

and thousands of children being rounded up in Melbourne tunnels to be terrified and their blood drained and then fed into the veins of politicians. It gets real crazy and there's no boundary of like, oh, I'm sort of into that thing, but this

thing seems a bit wacky. It's like all of it or nothing. Wow. It's just nuts. Yeah, and I think something to point out to people as well, if you do have family members or friends who are revealing all this amazing information and saying that journalists are terrible and that we've got the truth, just remind them that there's not one example of a QAnon or a conspiracy theory adherent who has actually done anything and affected any real world change.

Like the people that revealed the sex offending within the Catholic Church, the people that outed Jeffrey Epstein as being a child sex trafficker, they were all like really hardworking journalists who put years of work into this. There's not one conspiracy theorist who has done anything except post on Facebook.

Very true. So true. The closest they've got to doing anything is the guy that walked into a pizza restaurant with an AK-47 and started shooting because they thought there were kids locked in the basement. So any real world change for these people is like terrifying

and bad. So that was Pizzagate wasn't it? That was kind of propagated by Alex. Is it Alex Jones? That was Pizzagate, Alex Jones, who was still ranting and raving about these things. But you know, Pizzagate was this thing that was interesting because it was big.

It was big at the time, but then recently kids on TikTok are discovering Pizzagate for the first time. And this is their introduction to conspiracy theories. And so it's kind of like getting its hooks into a whole new generation, which is really sad. Because, you know, like TikTok's cool.

Like I thought it was the one platform that's not ruined by idiots, but increasingly it's also bad. Idiots are good at ruining things. Well, you can check out David's writing on WebWim. Follow David Farrier. Thank you so much, David Farrier. Stay safe.

Thanks for joining us this morning. No, stay sane, you guys. Keep real. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Friday Flashback. Okay, Friday Flashback today,

a little bit different. Intern Anya, report to studio, please. No, the studio. Executive producer Anna, report to the studio, please. No, the studio. Executive producer Anna. Report to the studio, please. Yeah, bring your headphones. She's got a shock on her face. She's like, what? Bring your headphones.

Bring your headphones. All right, now park yourself up in my spot. Oh, really? Yep, she's taking my spot. Plug in there. What is happening? I've got to flinch if I can just go on this mark for fun. So I've just got to tend to these pancakes that I'm cooking on a panini press.

Oh, actually, that went a bit too early, so I can leave those for just now. Huh? What do you mean, what did you tell me? Well, you don't cook while we're on air. Do it off air. Oh. So much trouble. You know what?

Somebody died because I decided to do air. Oh. So much trouble. You know what? Somebody died because I decided to do that too. Um, okay. You don't know if they aren't the butterfly effect. Hey, excuse.

Oi, you two. Not in front of the children. Okay, so it's different because today's Friday flashback. I know you were supposed to have a karaoke

birthday party tonight. Yeah. And you told us that your go-to song was Toploader's biggest hit, arguably only hit, Dancing in the Moonlight. So we will at some stage fade you out and fade in the actual song. I'd be imagining quite quickly, depending on song.

She has to give it her best shot first before we fade it out. Is my aux cord up? It is, it's on. I'm just going to shut that window so there's no interference. This is your karaoke night, baby. You didn't get your karaoke party, so here you go. I thought I would be a bottle of rosé deep at this point, to be fair.

You've had a couple of coffees. I was not expecting an 8 a.m. performance. Here we go. We get it. When that moon gets big and bright It's a supernatural delight Everybody was dancing in the moonlight I wonder if wine sort of made her bitter.

I doubt it. I think it just changes your perception of yourself, right? Yeah. Oh, it's still going. It's still going. Great. Yeah, we've got to get to the chorus. I don't know if this is good.

I can feel listeners dropping off. I think we roll through. It's great for the live stream. Okay, let's go. Let's go for the actual. Let's go for the actual. Let's go for the actual. Happy birthday, buddy. Happy birthday.

Thank you, thank you. RIP your karaoke night tonight. Happy birthday. Producer Anya, 24 today. It's your Friday flashback top loader. ZDF. We get it almost every night. When that moon is looking bright.

It's a supernatural delight Everybody's dancing in the moonlight Everybody here is out of sight They don't bark and they don't bite. They keep their clues. I keep it tight. Everybody dancing in the moonlight. Dancing in the moonlight.

Everybody's feeling warm and bright. It's such a fine natural sight. Everybody's dancing in the moonlight We like our fun and we never fight You can dance and stay uptight It's a supernatural delight Everybody was dancing in the moonlight Dancing in the moonlight Everybody's feeling warm and bright It's such a fine natural sight Everybody's dancing in the moonlight

We get it on most every night When that moon is big and bright It's a super match around the light Everybody's dancing in the moonlight Dancing in the moonlight Everybody's feeling warm and bright It's such a fine natural sight Everybody's dancing in the moonlight

Dancing in the moonlight Everybody's feeling warm and bright It's such a fine natural sight Thank you. It's your Friday flashback on ZM Top Loader, Dancing in the Moonlight. It was meant to be producer Anna's karaoke song tonight at her birthday party, celebrating 24 years on planet Earth, but unfortunately COVID had other ideas.

It had other plans, didn't it? What's the feedback like for that? That song doesn't have a Wikipedia page that I can see. Are you sure? Isn't that weird? Every major song's had a, oh, I stand corrected. Oh my god! What? That's not the original.

No, I know. It's a cover. It's a cover, yeah. By a French-American rock group called King Harvest. I didn't know that. Imagine if you made a song, you had a band, you're like, guys, we're going to start a band, we're going to do so great. No one a song, you had a band. You're like, guys, we're going to start a band. We're going to do so great. No one likes you. You make a couple of songs and then, you know,

10 years later someone releases your song and makes heaps of money. Or he does it. Wouldn't you feel stink? That'd be a kick in the teeth. No, but you'd get some. You'd get the money. You'd get the money, sure. But you didn't get to tour and be famous because of it.

Yeah, not as much. Well, I mean, Top Loader didn't really either. No, true. Just that one song. Feedback from the people? Good Friday Jam, Anya. That is a great idea for a karaoke song too. My mum is singing along to all the words,

so you've made her happy. That's good. You've made mum happy. Yeah. Somebody else said jam into it and somebody else said this made me happy. That's good. You've made mum happy. Yeah. Someone else said jam into it and somebody else said this made me happy. Not a lot of feedback but better to say nothing

than say naughty things. What's that saying? If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Don't say it, yeah. What? I was checking.

This is new. I didn't know it had cat meows in it this time. Yeah, it's got new. Could you start again? Start again. I was so confused. I thought you knew that we've added meows. No, I had no idea.

I'm so pleased, though. Okay, well, it's the return of a new segment. Where'd you take your pussycat? Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. So in the past, we've done how'd you name your pussycat and where'd you get your pussycat. But this is where did you take your pussycat. I saw someone take their pussycat to the mall the other day.

Madness. And one of those backpacks, which I don't know if that cat's really like it. Oh, with the window in it. Yeah. And everyone was stopping them for photos. You have to take a special sort of cat. How do they breathe? Is there ear holes?

Oh, yeah. I assume it's got ear holes. It has a clear window that it looks out of. Yeah. I wonder if I should get one of those from Major Murray Fluffington. I don't think your breed of cat would be down. Nah. It'd be better that Kaz wouldn't have stood for it.

Yeah, Muz likes him. Muz has been studied to come into the shower. Poof. I know. Just like his old man. Like father, like son. Like he just comes in and then he'll just get wet

and then run out. And then like be weird that he's got wet paws. It's just bizarre. That's so funny. I know, he's a weird cat. He might be ready for a backpack adventure.

Maybe. Well, people always say get a harness and like walk your cat. But then that's weird. Like what if it breaks and you lose your cat? It won't break. I don't know. I was a bit something about it. But then that's weird. Like what if it breaks and you lose your cat? It won't break.

I don't know. I was a bit something about it. But I've seen people take their cats for walks. Yeah, but why haven't you come in contact with a dog? Yeah, I know. On a leash, but like. Cat could scoot up a tree and then there's a whole other adventure of how'd you rescue your pussycat? So we want to know where'd you take your pussycat today?

Like on a crazy adventure that's not usually sort of cat territory? Yeah. And we sing the song? Yeah. Every time. We take your stories. So yeah, 0800-DOLLS-IT-M, text 9696. Where'd you take your pussycat? Oh meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

Okay, 0800 dials it in. Someone just messaged in their story about a rabbit. This is not, where'd you take your wabby wab? It's where'd you take your pussycat? Yeah, so only call if you took your pussycat somewhere. Where'd you take your pussycat? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's the latest in a long-running pussycat segment.

Yeah. It's what the nation needs today with all of this bad news. Oh, God, we're just in a little cat chat. Bit of cat chat. Back by popular demand. A little bit of puss-cos. It was a stretch. It was a stretch.

A little bit of kitty chatty. No, because it was cat chat, wasn't it? Yeah. Kitty chitty. All right, well, joining us. Kitty Chitty Bang Bang. Are you ready to talk to Emma? Yep, yep.

Emma? Emma? Hey. Where'd you take your pussycat? Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Hi, we were heading into town to get some Chinese for dinner and I didn't realise my kids had put the kitten in the back with them so you took the kid into the uh the chinese takeout yeah brilliant we took the

kitten to the chinese takeout did the cat get out of the car or were you very careful you know when you've got an animal in the car you're like get out of the car quick shut the door shut the door that's the one yeah the cat stayed in the car and waited for us patiently on the dashboard. But, um... Yeah, no, I wasn't keen to take him in there. Did it do that cat in the car meow, that... Meow. Kind of. Yeah.

He just sat there, kind of disappointed he wasn't allowed to join in with the... Did you give it a little bit of sweet and sour chicken or black pepper chicken? Oh, yeah, sweet and sour pork. black pepper chicken? Sweet and sour pork. Pork chow mein. Oh, yeah. But egg fried rice. Oh, no. What Chinese?

God damn it. Stop. Stop. A bit of MSG. Emma, do we sing out? We don't sing out, do we? No, no. We just talk to the next person.

We thank you very much, Emma. Leroy. Leroy. Leroy. Wait there, Leroy. Here we go, Leroy. Leroy, where'd you take your pussy cat oh my cats are boring they only go to the mailbox with me but uh i have a friend in the united

states and he's a line haul truck driver his name's sam okay and um so he goes cross country and he takes his cat with him because he lives in the truck. The cat lives in the truck? Yeah, he called his cat Pete because he drives a Peterbilt. And is there a litter box in the truck or does it go out for weeks? Yeah, the American trucks, the living ones that they've got there, they make our trucks look tiny. Yeah, right. It's basically like a camper van that takes freight from place to place. Wow. And the cat lives in there. That's so cute. He loves it. It's basically like a camper van that takes freight from place to place.

Wow. And the cat lives in there. That's so cute. He loves it. He jumps up on the dash, and I always get snapchats of the cat sitting on the dash, just watching where they're going. Oh, my God. Hopefully, does he have a little trucker cap for the cat?

That would be cute. I should tell him to do it. Yeah. Some little sunglasses. Leroy, thank you. Thanks, Leroy. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Hello.

Where'd you take your pussycat? Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. My cat travelled all the way from Rotorua in his yellow Kombi van with his black cat sprawled across the dashboard down to Christchurch where he now lives. And the cat was just cool with it? The cat was super cool with it. My cat would follow my dad around just everywhere.

He took him on the ferry. Oh my God. You know how you're supposed to keep the cat in your car? Yeah. You have to take him with him on the ferry. He should have done that across between the Titanic and Lion King, gone to the front of the ferry and held it up and said, we're the king of the world.

Yes, brilliant. Vanessa, thanks for your call. Oh, you didn't say her name. Is it Triana? Is that right? Triana. Triana. Okay, Triana.

Hold on, you've got to do it again. Please push the button now. So, Triana, good, Triana. Hold on, you've got to do it again. You've just pushed the button now. So, Triana, good morning. Morning. Yeah, that was a Fletch F-up is what we've witnessed there, and I apologise for it. And he doesn't say anything. My brain's moved to level four, guys.

But Triana, Triana, Triana, Triana, Triana. Where did you take your pussycat? Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. I took both my cats to the beach. What, on a harness? No, they were just in the car. Oh, right. Did they get out?

Did they touch the sand? One of them did. One was too petrified to move. Well, that's how cats react to sand. They'd be like, with their paws, wouldn't they? And he went forward. That just treated like a giant litter box, wouldn't they?

I'm going to poop here. Okay, somebody else messaged us saying they took their cat to the beach as well and it loved it. He turned around on the sand, took down an endangered red-billed seagull. Triana, thanks for your call. Some other text messages of

where'd you take your pussycat? Meow, meow, thanks. You cool? Some other text messages of, where'd you take your pussycat? Meow, meow, meow, meow. Jesus. My cat used to go to work with my dad at a printing factory. She'd walk around the printing factory. She'd go on deliveries with him as well. And at certain stops, she would get out and go into the store and they would give her a pat.

And then she'd jump back in the car and carry on with the cat. Like a dog. That's a well-trained cat, though. Yeah. Yeah. Very well-trained cat though. Yeah. Yeah. Very well-trained cat. Another one of, well,

I'll just take you to the bushrub. No, no, no, no, no. I don't think you need to do that every time. We live on a farm and our cat loves coming for rides around the farm on whatever we're driving, motorbike, tractor, truck.

Just jump on them. Sits up the front of the tractor and goes for a cruise. Yeah. And then when they've got enough, just jumps off, disappears and comes back home a couple of hours later. That's so cute.

They just take them on little farm adventures like a dog. But it's a cat. Somebody has pointed us towards One Bike, One World. That's the guy that found the bike. That's the guy that found the cat on his travels. And now the cat's travelling around with him. But I don't know what he's up to. He technically kidnapped a cat there, didn't he?

And forced it into a lifetime adventure on his bicycle. I think it was a manky stray. It was following him too, wasn't it? Right, okay, yeah. Yeah. Manky stray. When we used to go up north, our cat used to come with us and just chill in the back.

No cage. If they'd open the door of the car, the cat would just kind of be like, oh yeah, how long are you going to be? And would jump out, but then just go wheeze, jump straight back in. Yeah, right. That's a wow. You've got a rare cat there. Yeah. My dad would...

So many dads taking cats to work. Really? Big, softy dads, eh? Yeah. Some dads drive transport. Some dads actually stop around. My dad would end up taking my cat to work more often than not. I would just sleep, chill out, often outside and then I would jump back in and go home with dad at the end of the day.

That's so cool. You should try that. I can't see Major Murray Fluffington being alright chilling here. Somebody said I took my cats to the hot pools. How much does a cat cost at the hot pools? Because hot pools are always expensive. Well, it depends how many cat years. Because they could be senior citizen cats. They could get a discount.

If they use their cat card. Yeah. Their gold cat card. Oh, they've got to have their gold fish card. Senior kittizens. Yes! Well, thank you for joining us for another rousing version of Something Something Pussycat.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- is the biggest employer of musicians in the world. Bono. What? He's only got the guy with the beanie. What do you mean, like a record label? Huh? Biggest employer. No, not a record label, because that would be contracted. These are the one organisation that employs the most musicians. Is it just a normal, like, job?

I don't understand the question. Help. Help. Today's fact of the day, and you need to listen to this fact of the day. And then at 12 today and 4 this afternoon, your chance to win money. Yeah. The 50K fact of the day. $500 at midday and then $500 at 4.

The US Army is the oldest and largest employer of musicians in the world. Oh, that's, you tricked us, didn't you? Sure it's not Universal or Sony or something like that? No, because that would be contracted. Yeah, true. These are actual employers of musicians. And even in saying that, like maybe for the people that are playing at the time, the US Army would have more.

Yeah, totally. They've got active duty traditional army bands. They've got active duty traditional army bands. They've got active duty special army bands, army reserve and national guard bands, and the army bands officers as well. So those are your conductors. I reckon if they said you guys have to go to war and enlist in the army, I'd be like, well, I'll just do the triangle. No, because then they'd know where you were.

No, but I don't have to be on the front line. What's that noise? I'm pretending we're in World War II, by the way. Yeah, I know, yeah. What's that noise? Is that a cowbell? But I wouldn't be on the front lines of the triangle. That sounds more like a triangle.

That's more like a triangle, yeah. No, that other one was Fletch on the triangle because he's holding the actual triangle. He's holding the triangle. He's not holding it by the string. Why won't it make a ting? It won't ting. It's a very dull noise.

It's a very dull. What am I doing wrong here? Put it down. You've got one job. Pick up a gun. I'm a pacifist. I enlisted for the triangle only. See it is.

It seems to be a man with a triangle. Shoot him. Immediately. So, yeah, you'd get shot up. So, yeah, the fact of the day today is that the American Army, the United States military, is the largest employer of musicians in the world. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do that just because you didn't want to do like hard stuff, like maths and... Oh, no. The teacher said, just take a couple of days. Have some fun. We took some days. So we did a play. The girls had to do the play. We had to play roles in the play.

So the play was, I was a dragon. Yep. No, I wasn't a dragon to start. I was a dragon initially, but then they worked out they needed a dragon. Yeah. No, I wasn't a dragon to start. I was a dragon initially, but then they worked out they needed a prince. Right. So they wanted the prince to be, I said a female could be the hero. Yeah. But anyway, then I was the prince.

Sade was the dragon. Yeah. How did that go down? Indy was the, I mean, it was the role she was born to play. And Indy was the damsel in distress. Okay. So the dragon has the damsel in distress. Right.

August is kind of narrating the play. Is this all in the lounge? The prince is, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. The prince is defeated. That's me. What twist? How did you get defeated?

The dragon beat me. Oh, okay. And the dragon was going to defeat the princess. Right. Then fourth act, here's the twist. Fourth act, August drops the role of narrator and storyteller. Yeah. And walks in and says, never fear, Dr. Ashley Bloomfield is here.

And Dr. Ashley Bloomfield defeated the dragon. And it turns out the dragon was COVID-19 all along. Wow. What a story. So the prince rolls in with his bravado and misinformation, the sword of misinformation and the shield of conspiracy, thinking he can beat it, and he didn't, and it took Dr. Ashley Bloomfield to take down the dragon.

I added that part about the dragon being COVID-19 and I felt that that was just way over their head. Yeah. I love that they also view

Dr. Ashley Bloomfield as the hero as well. He's transcended popular culture and fully infiltrated like children's hero knowledge kind of thing. Isn't that crazy? Which I's hero knowledge. Yeah. Kind of thing.

Isn't that crazy? Which I think is cool. Yeah. I think it's cool. Well, yeah, you saw it when he played that rugby match, the parliamentary rugby match. Yeah. Kids getting photos and making signs and stuff. They all know who he is because, you know,

in the previous lockdown. Everybody was watching the One Piano updates and he was always there and he's so like calm. Maybe he could do the next Celebrity Treasure Island if that gets a second season. I don't think he'd want to. Could you imagine how great that would be? He'd win. Oh, what about Dancing with the Stars?

That'd be quite nice. I don't think he'd want to. I don't think he would either. Plus, he doesn't need to because he's got heaps of followers on Instagram now and he's going to start selling Arbonne. Has he got an Instagram? No. Oh.

No, I wasn't going to follow it anyway. I'm not a really halfway through surgery. Here at the show, we pride ourselves on initiating change. Be the change that you want to see in the world. I tried. I tried my heart. That's what I always say. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. It's my mantra that I live by. Be the change you want to see in the world. And so yesterday, you may have missed our radio drama. Sam in the line for a COVID test, some 200 cars deep, needed to go wheeze very, very badly. Yeah, and nowhere to go wheeze. Unless you were right up the front of the queue.

Yeah, Heather was in the car behind her, helped out where she could with keeping her spot and keeping her informed. And we ended up having success. Sam urinated in front of the nation. We all knew exactly when she was going wheeze, which was creepy, which was pointed out to me later. It was a little bit creepy, but that wasn't our intention.

However, it did illuminate an issue that often these lines are long, and people want to get tested, and that's good. People are being responsible. So the news did a report on it last night, and some people were waiting all day. Yeah. Like eight hours and then even some people turned away from that. And then they also spoke to people on the news

that like put the mic in the car and be like, you're waiting for a test. How long have you been waiting? Do you have any symptoms? They'd be like, oh no. Just wanted to make sure. Just wanted to get tested.

Just wanted to make sure. If you don't have symptoms, more than likely you will be turned away. So if you're going to get in a big line and wait for five hours, you might, at the end of that five hours, be turned away. And you're also clogging it up for people who might be symptomatic. Or actually sick. Also,

something they were pointing out yesterday, if you are feeling unwell, go to your GP. It's free to get tested at your GP as well. Yeah, and they can probably just come out to you. There'll be a nurse maybe at the practice that can just come out and do that.

Yeah. Very quickly. So ring Healthline or your GP first. So one thing that won't happen when you're in the long line is you shouldn't wet your pants anymore

because there's portalers at various stages of the queuing today at various stations around Auckland because this was a problem yesterday. I was tagged many times

in stories about people in the lines urinating on the side of the road and in bushes. I mean, you just had to. There's nothing, nowhere else to go, nothing else to do. No. You just, I'm not wearing my pants. I've got to wear these for the rest of the day. My urine will actually fertilise that plant in some way.

So yeah, that's yesterday everyone was busting to go toilet and going wheezing in a bush, and today there's portaloos in the line. And you'd like to think that's because you highlighted poor Sam in the line, right? Yes, who couldn't see a toilet at any stage of the queue, and now there's queues. Okay.

There's portaloos at the queues. So, yeah. Keep that in mind. So 1 o'clock today, there's a 1 o'clock press briefing. Then there's a cabinet meeting. This is just kind of the timeline of what's expected to be announced this afternoon. And then 5, 5.30ish apparently. 5.30. There'll be an announcement on the next stages.

And it could be anything. A continuation of Level 3? Yep. Could be. I mean, you're going to hear lots of level three? Yep. Could be. I mean, you're going to hear lots of rumours and lots of speculation today, but until you hear it from the Prime Minister or a government elected official, I would just write it off as rumour in here. Do you remember last time all those text rumours that were going around?

My auntie's on the board of the police, and she just heard that the army's coming in to lock everything down, and then it was all just rubbish, obviously. So, yeah, just wait until you hear it at 5. Yeah. And she just heard that the army's coming in to lock everything down and then it was all just rubbish, obviously. Yeah. So, yeah, just wait until you hear it

from 5.30. Don't buy into any of the propaganda or the nonsense until you hear it from the official channels. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan,

the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey music, live here. ZM.