ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 14th December 2020

Episode Date: December 13, 2020

Flight Attendant News  Top 6: Quote of the Year  Audio Ninja Warrior  Secret Santa  Where's My Medal?!  12 Days of Fletchmas!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fletch Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's Thanks to McCafe by 5 McCafe Coffees. Get one free on the Maccas app. Well, one of the last podcasts of the week, isn't it? Of the year. Well, it's the first one of the week, but the last one of the year. Four left after this, before Christmas break. 18th will be the last show, and then we're back like the 18th-ish.

Is that right? Is Monday the 18th of Jan? 18 to 18. 18 to 18. 18 to 18. So it should be a big break for the podcasters. A video that I think everybody must watch today. Have you seen the guy on the plane wing trying to climb the tip of the plane?

Yes. Wing. Yeah. Fantastic video. Jamaica. Arrested. Was it in Jamaica? I thought it was Vegas.

Was there two? Doubtful. No, maybe this was Las Vegas. Was something happened in Jamaica with a plane over the... I don't know. So the plane's on the ground. At US Airport. It was an Alaskan Airlines.

It was a wing of a, I believe it was a 737-800. And he tried to, because you know how you see the tip of the wings, you know, the things that go up at the end. They always look real small, eh, when you like see a plane go past. But they're actually like. Really big.

Really tall, like a meter and a half, two meters tall. Like this man, it's towering him. Like he's on the plane wing. I don't know, he just ran up. Would it be taller than me? Did he have a ladder? Because he wasn't in the plane wing. I don't know. He just ran up. Would it be taller than me? Did he have a ladder? Because he wasn't in the plane. He scaled the airport fence and ran to the plane as it was waiting to take off.

Somehow got up onto the wing. I don't know if he jumped onto the engine and then climbed over that. And then tried to, he was on the plane wing and then tried to get it. And he takes his shoes off and everything. What was the point of it? He wanted to. I think they shoes off and everything. What was the point of it? He wanted to... I think they're saying mental illness. Okay. So I don't know if there was a point.

Right. I never knew they were that big, though. Taller than me. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, it's way taller than you. Wow. Like, look at this. Their ears are sitting on the wing.

Wow! They are a real bug. Yeah, well, I'll watch that. Bloody love it. Anything to add, Vaughn? What happened in Jamaica? Did you find out what happened in Jamaica? No.

Okay. Plane related? Did you search plane Jamaica? Did you search? I'm going to search plane Jamaica news. Jamaica. Jamaica. Jamaica.

Huh. I always forget how to spell Jamaica. Jamaica. Jamaica. Plane news. Deportation flight to Jamaica departs without 37 of the people that it was deporting. That's helpful. Yeah.

That could have been it though. Yeah. Could have been it. I feel like it was bigger than that. Bigger than that. Okay. Maybe it was last week. Jamaican flight of Mantis deposited for a COVID-19. Yeah. No, I can't remember actually.

Might have been that. Yeah, maybe. Might have been that. ZM. Hit music. Lives here. Fletchvorn and Megan. The podcast.

Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletchvorn and Megan. That's Vaughan Battles a Tangle of Chords. Good lord. And we launch into the Sl, slop, slap and scan. Slip, slop, slap, rap, scan. That's different, isn't it?

It's good, though. It's good that they've thought about working that all in. And we're actually just on that because I opened up the QR Tracer COVID-y app at the weekend. Yes. Well, this is, thank you, Anya, this is a thick paper today. I was going to say, it's got a great style. It's like somebody's left some invite paper in the printer.

Are we treating ourselves on the final week of work to a thicker stock? Oh, this is some bullshit. I've got floppy stock. You've got the floppy paper. Megan and I got the thick. Yeah, what does that mean? Yeah, we know who's more important. To be fair, you never look at that.

You never use it. I do, every now and then. Every now and again. Yeah. You never use it. I do, every now and then. Every now and again. Yeah. I opened it up and you've got to enable Bluetooth because you know they've updated it so that it's going to, your phone's going to talk to other people around

locations. Yeah. So if you're in a store and maybe you didn't scan in, other people that did, it will sense you there. You'll be able to get alerts if there is a It's good. And it's kind of automatic when you open it, right? You just follow and you go yeah. But you've got to open up the app

and enable it. So even if you just open up the app now, just enable it. That'll take care of the rest. You'll be good to go. Although I did feel I was one of the few people scanning in places. I was told the other day I was the only person that had scanned in the whole day. I was like, that's not good.

What? The whole day? They were like, oh, look at you go. You're the only person that scanned and used that all day. And there was another customer there. And I said to the other customer, probably want to scan it on the way out then. Yeah. Like I was some high and mighty about it. Yeah.

Coming up on the show, the top six. Yeah. The quote of the year finalists have been announced. I've got the top six quotes that miraculously missed out. Okay. Miraculously. Next on the show, cameo, which is that, you know, where you can pay celebrities to do like a video message. You could be like, happy birthday, Megan.

Are people still doing that? Yeah, no, they are. More now than ever because all these celebrities are stuck inside their homes. True. Need to make some money. Well, there's a top earner on Cameo. We'll tell you who it is. Cameo.

It is a booking app where you can book celebrities to do birthday shout outs. Kind of a video of whatever you want, really. Yeah, you just pay and they'll basically do it. That's the one where everyone was getting Carol Baskin to do shout-outs and say silly things. They have released who their top earner is on Cameo. So out of all the celebs on Cameo, who has made the most money?

And I don't even really know him. So before you tell us, I've gone to Cameo and I've gone price high to low. Okay. What's the cheapest? Well, $50. Like there's celebs that you'll know that aren't big, big celebs. But still you know them. But, you know, they're probably going for quantity over, you know,

and they're doing a lot of them. Yeah. So they're probably earning a lot. So Caitlyn Jenner is the most on here. $2,500 for a video cameo from Caitlyn Jenner. Wow. Do they have to meet a certain criteria? Like, do they have to be 30 seconds long or...

I'm not too sure. I'm not too sure. Snoop Dogg, $1,200 is the next most famous person I could recognise. Floyd Mayweather, the boxer, $999. Akon, $999. This kind of also reads like a list

of washed up stars from the 90s. Floyd Mayweather wouldn't need that money though, would he? No, that's weird. It wasn't even that long ago he was getting that massive payday. He wouldn't need. Remember Wesley Snipes? Yep.

999. Yeah, but he had a huge tax bill. Remember how he didn't pay tax? Yes, yes. Oh, that guy that was the actual Wolf of Wall Street, not Leonardo DiCaprio. What's his face? He's 997. Who's getting him to do one?

Lots of, like, you know, like, former sports people in the US. Dennis Rodman, John Daly, the golfer. Marlon Wayans will do one for $500. Chris Tucker, $500. David Hasselhoff, $499. Fran Drescher The Nanny $500 We need a

We need a GoFundMe Just get a Fran Drescher one I'll go Price low to high $15 I don't even know These people

Yeah I don't think You will Did you say you saw Lindsay Lohan on there Oh yeah so there's On the homepage You go home And it says 50% price drop. She's down to $200.

Does she choose to or do they knock it off? It's a, well, I don't know. Is it a Christmas special? It might be. It's a Black Friday sale. It just says, Lindsay Lohan is an international actress, model and recording artist. And she's on Cameo for a limited time. Request your favourite Mean Girls line,

hear some business advice or love from Lindsay. 50% price drop. 4.7 out of 5 stars, by the way, and down from $430. Wonder if you could, that's a, I'm just looking over your shoulder

with how they put up some examples of ones she's done. That's all you need to do is if you find out that she's done one to somebody that's got the same name as your mate. Oh, yeah. Like if she's done one for Dave and you know a Dave, you'd just be like, Dave, I've got you this.

She's giving Dave business advice. Apparently you can chat for $19.99. What is that? What, like $20? $19. Oh, God, they have to sit there and you chat with them. But how do you know you're chatting with them? Yeah, that's horrible.

Probably would have. Probably just be some boss or something. Oh, you reckon it would just be like a computer chat. It wouldn't be a video chat. I don't know. Doesn't seem much, does it? No. So the top earner made a million dollars on Cameo this year,

and it was Brian Baumgartner he plays kevin malone in the office so he's oh the dude that drops the chili i've not watched all the u.s office or much of it at all but i know that there's the meme of him dropping the the bald guy yeah the big tall ball yeah right yeah how do you spell his name brian normal i Brian. I-A-N. Okay. B-A-U-M-G-A-R-T-N-E-R. Baumgartner. I'm going to see how much he is. And he made a million bucks.

Yeah, so $195 is what you'll pay. He's not one of the big, you know, like, he's not charging $1,000 per video. But they reckon he would have had to record around just over 5,000 messages this year. Oh my God. And he got $1 million. But look at these. He's just literally in his office at home recording these. Like it just looks like he's on a Zoom or a Skype.

That needs a bit of lighting. It needs a ring. A lighting ring. A ring light. Yeah, he does. So that's nuts that he made a million dollars. And that's after commission. So they take a 25% cut of what you earn, which is huge.

Okay, would you sit in your office for $750,000 a year? He was doing 14 a day if we did them every single day. That's not even going to take you half an hour. And you're earning $750,000 a year. No, he got a million after. No, but minus the cut. No, that's after the cut. Oh, that's after the cut. That's after they took the cut.750,000 a year. No, he got a million after. No, but minus the cut. No, that's after the cut. Oh, that's after the cut.

That's after they took the cut. Oh, okay, sweet. Yeah. I don't know how much he got paid to be in the office, but it feels like he probably would have been paid more to do this for a year than he was to be in the office for a year. But without the office, wouldn't be doing this. You've got a good point there.

Good way to make money during lockdown. All right, 13 past 6 Another thing that maybe didn't happen as much during lockdown As that guy Kevin doing all those cameos Exercise How much exercise do you need to be doing According to scientists The people who have researched Per day to lose weight

I feel like this is not going to be as much as I'm doing at the moment Probably not per day to lose weight. I feel like this is not going to be as much as I'm doing at the moment. Probably not. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. A study's been done into losing weight through exercise because that doesn't work for everybody because the old situation of you exercise

so then you get hungrier. Yeah, so you eat more. Yeah, so you eat more but you might be getting fitter but necessarily might not be losing weight. Or you're like, I just went for a run, I can have thisrier. Yeah, so you eat more. Yeah, so you eat more. But you might be getting fitter, but necessarily might not be losing weight. Or you're like, I just went for a run. I can have this cake. Yeah. Yeah. And these chips.

Holiday compensation. Sure. So there was a study done on a, like a controlled group of overweight men and women who were described as obese. And they basically at the end of it found out that you should exercise for about 300 minutes a week to lose weight, to start changing your metabolic blah, blah, blah, something or the other.

Okay. Let me put this in the old calculator. 300 divided by 7, 42.85 minutes a day. Yeah. Or if you're going to work out six days of the week, it's basically an hour a day. Yeah, 50 minutes. Yeah.

So that's what they're saying. That's kind of what you expect, isn't it? Yeah. Just what we need as we're about to delve into Christmas eating season. Thanks. It's this way. If you exercise, if you could exercise between five and six, you could watch The Chase.

And that's how you know that you've done enough exercise. You could go from the start to the end of The Chase, an episode of The Chase. Right. But you'd have to go outside to exercise. Are you saying take the TV? No, I was thinking like at the gym on the cardio machines. Oh, right. Okay, yeah.

And is it like you have to have your heart rate up above a blah, blah, blah? Or can you do like weights or? It didn't really say about like what your heart rate had to be. Right. So it's not necessarily like 45 minutes of cardio per day. No, it's just physical exercise. Right. Right.

So weights at the gym. Yeah, because this group was made up of people who did different sorts of exercises, but it was more of a time thing than a... But see, I don't know about that because I could go to the gym for 45 minutes and a lot of it's checking Facebook. Yeah, I was going to say,

you see lots of people just sitting on their phone. Does that count? Because you're like, okay, well, I've been here an hour. Yeah, so you could do some weights, but you've done three sets in 20 minutes. Right. You know, like you've just been sitting a lot on Instagram and Facebook. Yeah. But you're saying your metabolic rate must be like, well, it smells like a gym,

so I guess this counts as an undernourished exercise. And I'm not eating when I'm at the gym. I knew you were not doing it right then You can easily You know those little drinks holders You can put a little pack of chips in those Flight attendants in China So the Civil Aviation Administration of China

The CAAC They've released new guidelines For the airline industry in China. And there's a whole lot of PPE suggestions. So it's pretty full on. They have to do shoe coverings, medical masks, double layer disposable medical gloves,

goggles, disposable hats, the whole nine yards. They've also suggested for some cabin crew that to reduce the amount of times they need to go to the bathroom and risk infection, they should wear adult nappies. Oh, wow. Just wow. So because the toilet is a surface, like that sort of area where it would be more likely to get COVID.

Because they use the, we all use the same toilet. Or do they have their own? No, they use the same one. Why wouldn't they just block one toilet off for staff only? Yeah, that's a good call. Asking people to pan their pants. Or just use hand sanitizer. Yeah.

Like wash and everything. Because you keep your mask on, right? Well, no, this is better, apparently, if they wear diapers. I don't think I could do this because my pants wouldn't fit over. It's already quite snug. There's not a lot of room for a nappy. Yeah. Do you have room for a nappy in your jeans now?

I mean, I'd probably squeeze it on, but it would certainly pack the jean out. It would be obvious I was wearing a nap. And do you wear undies over top of that? I don't know if my undies would go over top of those. But you wouldn't need undies, would you? No. No. It's become redundant.

But then also, like, you're going to need to go to the bathroom to change your nappy, right? Like, what if you... It depends how long the flight is. Depends. Good. Yeah. I'm confused.

Because you don't change. You wouldn't change it until it was too long. You wouldn't change until you got off the flight. But then you wee in the nap and then you walk around and you're going to get chafing. Chafing. Because the thing is no joke, like people who need to wee them, it's

involuntary, right? Yeah. But like to wear a nappy and then purposefully go in a wee. And it must feel horrible. And you're going to serve a customer their tea and coffee or whatever and you'll be like, okay, we're done. You'd smell it, don't you?

You know like if you're on the aisle seat and they kind of have to reach over. And it's asparagus season. Asparagus is growing, baby. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Well, Hamilton. Hamilton is moving. Your hometown, Vaughan, or home province.

Yes, the city. The Waikato. And the region. Well, the Hamilton city is destroying lime scooters at three times the rate of any other New Zealand town or city. This doesn't surprise me. According to a Lime

spokesperson, Hamilton vandals are laying waste to the city's scooter fleet. Up to eight vehicles per week are being destroyed. Oh, wow. Destroyed. Does that also count If they tried to go swimming in the Waikato River Well that may

Never came out So this came about because of a video conference Call that Lime were having with the Council So I mean they may have been like Exaggerating They may have been exaggerating because they have been asked some follow up questions Which they refused to elaborate

on, cost-wise and incidence-wise. They just said it's been a very difficult year because they're the sole scooters in Hamilton, unlike other cities where there's multiple. So they're just saying it's been a difficult year, I guess because of

COVID as well, and they haven't been able to upgrade their fleet as much as they would have liked to. Because Hamilton people keep destroying their scooters. Keep wrecking them. But I've had a lime to the shin. They're so heavy duty. They are. How would you destroy one other than putting it in the Waikato River?

Well, if anybody can find out how to destroy something, it's Hamilton. Councillor Ewan Wilson asked during the call, what was it about Hamilton that leads to the higher occurrence of vandalism? Borgans. Dickheads. Drunks.

She said I would love to have the answer to that but I don't know. Maybe she didn't I don't think you can say to the Hamilton City Council bogans and drunks. Right.

Well because they already know that. Because they already know that. 90% of the council's problems are to do with bogans and drunks. Sure. Well, because they already know that. Because they already know that. 90% of the council's problems are to do with Bogans and Drunks. Sure. Well, I'd like to see the definitive list of how they were destroyed. Also, Stuff asked her to elaborate on the devices being destroyed and what the cost of the company was.

They declined to answer those questions and issued a short statement instead. Just blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Don't break our scoots. Yeah. The last GPS location of the scooter pre-destruction was the bridge would be listed and then you could go and you could find the remains and you could give us a definitive list of methods of destruction. But then I can see that you do that,

the drunks and the bogans previously mentioned, would see that as a sort of a how-to destroy your Lime scooter. But also, if you're hiring it and you're the last hire and the scooter disappears... Yeah, whilst under your hire. ...then you're getting charged. Because that guy did a jump into the Viaduct. That was like $1,000, wasn't it?

Yeah. Isn't it like $1,000 they charge you? But if you check out, take the photo of the scooter and then somebody else... Yeah, then you're fine, aren't you?...throws it off the bridge. That's not charge you. But if you check out, take the photo of the scooter, and then somebody else throws it off the bridge. That's not on you. No. But then you've got to prove that. Hmm.

Well, Hamilton, pull your heads in. Yeah, maybe just get rid of limes because you're not getting rid of drunks and bogans. It's kind of ingrained. Limes will come and go. Drunks and bogans will be on here forever. Fletchvorna Megan, the podcast. ZM. From the ZM Clickbait Room. Drunks and Bogans will be on here forever Hello there the top quotes for 2020

the possibles the possible quotes have been released you can vote on these I guess ones like Judith Collins saying when my eyebrows go up it's a joke. Right.

That's one of the possibilities. There's no new cases of COVID-19 to report in New Zealand today. That's Dr. Ashley Bloomfield's famous line. On the orange face, you can trust when the orange face parakeet was going for bird of the year. I did a little dance. That's when Jacinda found out that there was no COVID-19 in New Zealand at that stage.

You're on mute. Of course, that was famous Zoom calls throughout the year. So there's all those situations for the quotes of the year. The quotes that best sum up the year. I don't know, what a year to try to sum up with quotes. But these are the top six quotes that didn't make the list that I'm very surprised about.

Number six, I'll just work from home this morning. That quote is from someone who slept in and is lying and probably won't be doing any work from home. No. It'll roll in around about lunchtime. Number five on the list

of the top six quotes that didn't make the list for the finalists. What month is it? That's everyone. Yeah? Yeah. People are pretty confused about time this year.

I know. It's all over the show. Confusing year. Number four on the list of the top six quotes that didn't make the list. Tom Hanks has it? Oh, my God. No. Everybody.

When they found out Tom Hanks had COVID back in like April, March. I thought that might have got him. might have taken him away from us. It didn't. Why is there a Brian Cranston who walked away from Breaking Bad, Malcolm in the Middle dad. Yep. He had it and he's only just getting a sense of smell back. Did he have like a long COVID? Is that what they call it?

The long tail. Yeah, yeah. He said it was horrible at the time, but the effects went, but he was just left with the fact that he couldn't smell anything. Because there's still people that are just tired all day. Yeah. Yeah. Horrible.

Number three on the list of the top six quotes that didn't make it for quote of the year. So I'm going to try making sourdough. Everyone. Remember when we all ran out of yeast? Yes. And making sourdough. Everyone. That's right. Remember when we all ran out of yeast? Yes. And flour. And flour.

Yeah. And toilet paper. What a time. What a time. Number two on the list of the top six quotes that didn't make the list for quote of the year 2020. One good thing about lockdown, I've saved so much money. Everyone who's soon after blew all that saved money. I know, right?

Yeah. Oh, God. That's great. Oh, we've just got blew all that saved money. I know, right? Yeah. Oh, God. It's great. Oh, we're just going to keep living like this. We've just got to, you know, if we can just spend like we spent, they're not happening. Do you think anyone carried on their spending, their saving? They're scrimping probably not, eh?

No, because aren't they saying the economy bounced back, which also means we don't have any savings anymore. That's the other thing, yeah. Yeah, it did need to be spent to keep it all going. And number one on the list of the top six quotes that didn't make the list for quote of the year. Surprisingly, this quote. Oh, you've got to be kidding me.

Everybody, every day. About pretty much everything. That is today's top six. So over Christmas, some of these will be Christmas presents. Some of these are just products that you may find hard to get over December, January. Heads up because, yeah, sometimes there's month-long wait lists and all the ships are out of the ocean. So it's not just the fact that there are ships backed up

trying to get into the ports of, you know, Auckland and Tauranga. It's also the fact that we forget that a lot of the world is still in lockdown. So people aren't working in factories in Europe or in Asia and places. If they have opened up, they've got a huge backlog of orders now to get through. Yeah. Which is going to take a while. So some of these products you're looking at a shortage of is e-bikes. So that would be a big Christmas gift, I imagine.

Would it though? Have you seen how much e-bikes are? They're very expensive because that's like so expensive. We rode e-bikes when we were in Wellington and Shade's like, I really like that. She doesn't usually like riding bikes. So I was like, maybe that's the key to the family bike ride. She gets an e-bike.

So she doesn't like the fact that you have to exert some power to make the pedals go. and just indicate to the pedals it's time to move forward and then they take care

of a lot of the hard work. Well, it must be a popular item because a few retailers are saying as soon as we get them in, we sell out and we run out.

So other retailers are saying they're not expecting new stock of e-bikes until the middle of 2021. The middle? Yeah. Wow.

So, if you can find one and you want one, I'd say pounce on that. Otherwise, you're going to have to power a normal bike with your legs. How awful. Men's shirts is another one. So, this comes down to factories. Oh, you know I love a shirt. Yeah. Famously, I own so many shirts. Yeah, we're not talking about t-shirts. These are like formal-ish shirts with a a shirt. Yeah. Famously, I own so many shirts.

Yeah, we're not talking about t-shirts. These are like formal-ish shirts with a collar in. Right. And it's not just like some retailers. This is a massive factory that supplies lots of retailers in New Zealand. Okay. Short supply across the industry. Men's shirts.

Like short sleeved. I'd say collared shirts. So like maybe short sleeved and long sleeved. men's shirts. Like short sleeved. I'd say collared shirts. So like maybe short sleeved. Maybe work shirts. Oh yeah, I didn't think about that. So I was like, wow. Damn, I won't be able to wear a shirt to work. Says a guy that never ever wears a shirt to work.

I think the only time I ever wear a shirt is when there's a wedding. And even then you grizzle about it the whole time. I know, yeah. Trampolines oh if you're doing thinking about doing a tramp for christmas really massive delays so that a lot of companies one company in particular said they sold out of their christmas stock in march and then expected that they would be able to like order more in right. But now they're facing massive delays, so a lot of places just don't have the stock to sell for Christmas. Huh.

Tramps are in short supply. Do you still use your trampoline? Do the girls still use yours? I used it the weekend. The girls, yeah, yeah, people will jump on it the weekend. But, yeah, the girls do use the trampoline. Far more than what we used our trampoline when we were kids. Mind you, we had no safety net.

Like, it was once a month someone was really hurting themselves on the bar. That would deter you from going out there. It would put you off. Yeah. Luxury cars. Apparently some Richies are just like absolutely owning this. Oh, luxury cars. You might have to slum it and drive a Corolla like the rest of us.

Or a Honda Accord like Vaughan. Don't you refer to the Honda record as a slumming. It flew through a warrant of fitness last week. It still looks quite shiny after its latest claim. Yeah, give it a wash every now and then. How did that pass its warrant? Three new bulbs. Where did you take it for a warrant?

I couldn't even tell you what bulbs weren't working. I know one of the little ones right down the bottom at the front on the left-hand side wasn't working. The indicator. After I hit that tree. Oh, yeah. No, like a fog light. Oh, yeah. Okay.

Yeah, I don't know what the other bulbs were working with, but we're back on the road, baby. Fresh. Wow. So, yeah, these are apparently the families that go away on those big fancy ski trips or overseas holidays. Instead of that, there's a massive boom in luxury cars. So they're in short supply. Who would have thought like when it was March or like April and the whole world was like the whole country was in lockdown and everyone was like, it was, we'd be at this stage now

where like people are buying luxury cars and spending so much money. But it's because they can't spend crazy amounts of money taking their family away over this coming summer period. Yeah, yeah, to go skiing in the Northern Hemisphere. That sounds crazy. I don't know who these people are. Neither. But I've heard them used in so many examples

of why really expensive cars and stuff are selling. We're mixing the wrong circles. And lastly, washing machines. Dryers, dishwashers, whiteware are like facing massive waiting lists. Even people that are like

trying to, because you know, people are big on the reno and the bathroom and the kitchens and stuff. Even a lot of stuff like that is, you know, like flooring might come

from overseas. Oh yeah. Some of it. And that's not being made or there's a backlog. And in general, electronics and even down to barbecues are facing stock issues. That's why. Well, there's a backlog. And in general, electronics and even down to barbecues are facing

stock issues. There's a true tragedy. That's why this Christmas I'm hand-making all of my Christmas presents with seashells from the beach that I find in Driftwood. Lovely. And glitter. You're going to make a seashell necklace for everyone. The most unbelievable part of that is

that you'll be giving anybody any Christmas presents. Putting any time and effort. Not the fact presents. Putting it in time and effort. Not the fact that I am all about time and effort. Those are the two things you're not about. Well, if you'd like to play Audio Ninja Warrior 0800-DARLS-IT-M right now, we need two contestants. And it's just like the TV show Ninja Warrior, except it's sound effects and you don't need to be ripped.

You can not have abs and stuff and do chin-ups. Don't have to do that. We're not about that here. No. Some of the people that do well on Ninja Warrior, it's just the fact that they're so lean. Yes. They're not carrying any extra muscle that they need to

drag around. Alright, we welcome first to Audio Ninja Warrior, Emma, good morning. Good morning. Alright, now you're going to be up against Jono. We're just putting him in the cone of silence so he cannot hear the sound effects. You've got to make your way through the audio obstacle course, making the sound effects.

If we're not satisfied with the sound effect, we may pause the game. Yes. will get paused yeah your timer will but are you ready Emma yep I'm ready Christmas edition today so all sound effects will be Christmas themed or related yep yep your time starts now Emma, Santa falling down the chimney and landing abruptly at the bottom. What? It's good. Christmas bells jingling. Tinka, tinka, tinka, tinka.

Tinka, tinka, tinka, tinka. Are we happy? We'll move on? We'll move on. Yeah, happy. Carolers at your front door singing Christmas carols. Carols. La, la, la, la, la la la la la la la la la.

Yep. Sure. A reindeer. Clip clop, clip clop, clip clop. I like it. That was wide open for interpretation there. And a Christmas cracker being pulled.

Are we happy? Yeah. I've done it. Yes, you made it through the course, Emma. Congratulations. Yeah, nicely done. Woohoo, thank you. All right, well.

She was a bit of a no-frills situation with Emma, though. It was just quick speed. Powered through. It was. Jono, welcome to Audio Ninja Warrior. Hey, how's it going, mate? Good, mate, good. Right, well, you've been in the cone of silence.

You haven't heard these sound effects. Jono, your time starts now. Santa falling down the chimney. Oh, that was good. Christmas bells. Yeah, that's good. Christmas bells. Yeah, that's good. Carol is at the front door. Carol, here's Carol.

We're just going to pause. We're pausing. Were they all talking to Carol? Carol's at the front door. Oh, Christmas carols. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, Jono, did you think people called Carol? No, you're probably singing a carol carols at the box oh christmas carols yeah yeah yeah oh did you think people called carol no you're singing a carol oh okay we're gonna restart the timer

a reindeer oh uh okay Oh Uh Okay Huh? Now that was That was That was wide open For interpretation So um I mean Yeah

For example Emma Emma clipped Clopped She was like Clip clop Clip clopped But you were more

Being the voice Of a reindeer Which I liked Which could be true Because Rudolph Rudolph don't make Noises like that Yeah yeah Should we We'll just carry on And not need a further Sound effect Okay No no that's absolutely fine down which i like which could be true because rudolph and blitz yeah yeah yeah we'll just carry on and not need a sound effect

and a christmas cracker being pulled yep yeah well uh johnny well done emma comes back on the line from the cone of silence now there is a few more pauses emma we had to pause just to confer uh if we're happy to let jono continue but uh he did he completed the obstacle course all five sound effects and it was the same with emma uh jono both of you competed somebody had the time of 45 seconds and somebody had the time of 36 seconds. Oh. Quite a bit shorter, right? Yeah, not as tight as I thought.

Yeah. The winner of the Christmas edition of Audio Ninja Warrior, congratulations, Jono. Woo! Yes! Even with that, the carols mix up. The carols mix up. To be fair, you said carols at the door, not carolers. Yeah. Did I say carols at the door? Carols at up. Carols mix up. To be fair, you said carols at the door, not carolers. Yeah. Did I say carols at the door?

Carols at the door. So to be fair, Emma probably gave us the wrong sound there. No, because to her I said carolers. Oh, you did. Yes. Fair call. Congratulations, Jono. Well done.

Thank you. The winner of the Christmas edition of Audio Ninja Warrior. Thanks for playing, Emma, as well. And that wraps it up for... Carols at the front door. What's your name? Carol. What a coincidence.

My name's Carol too. Sorry I'm late. I'm Carol. Nice to meet you. We're both Carols as well. You can see how it would happen. Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

The podcast. We're going to be doing a little bit more drinkies over the festive season, including... Well, you better not. ...Christmas parties. Well, yeah, including Christmas parties.

Well, yeah, I'm not. Because you're pregnant. Yeah. Just in case you forgot. No. Sometimes I do. I'm like, oh, yeah, gin. And then I don't take a sip, but I'm just like, oh, no, that's right.

That's right. But there is one alcoholic beverage that is the worst for hangovers. Oh, chartreuse. Absinthe. Tequila. Okay. I'm sure if you're smashing back the tequilas. For me, it's if I drink wine, a lot of wine.

Specifically, which kind of wine are we talking about? I don't know, BYO wine. White. Just still white wine. Yeah, I'm just the next day, I'm like, that was a terrible mistake. What a terrible idea. What a terrible mistake. You, I'm just, the next day I'm like, that was a terrible mistake. What a terrible idea. What a terrible mistake. You're not too far off the money.

It is bubbles. So Prosecco is officially the worst. Oh my God, you're kidding me. I've just got some for the Aperol Spritz. Did you get Prosecco specifically? Because that's what you put in the Aperol Spritz. Yeah. I thought you'd just be like, cheap bubs.

You're going full Prosecco. No, don't get me wrong. It's cheap Prosecco. Right, right. It's like $10 a bottle, Megan, so yes. Okay. So Prosecco and champagne are the worst for hangovers. And it is basically because of the bubbles. Right.

So you'll get, you know how when you have a bubs and like straight away you're like, whoo-wee, like after, it'll affect you a little bit. Yes. You're looking at me like, no. No, because, you know, that makes sense because the other night, friend, we went out to a dinner on Thursday or Wednesday night and we had two Aperol spritzers each. Which contained the bubs.

And I was quite white girl wasted at dinner. Really? And I was like, what has happened here? But it's probably because the bubbles went into my bloodstream. Yes. So the Prosecco and champagne, they both have pockets. By the way, this is the first sign of problematic

drinking. They have little pockets of the carbon dioxide, which change how the alcohol flows through the bloodstream and it helps the body to absorb the alcohol faster. So you literally are like feeling the effects quicker. I don't know how people can do, like, you, when they go out drinking and all they drink is like champagne or bubbles.

I know, yeah, yeah. All night. I'm like, how do you? Because the next day you always feel bad. Mad, dry, huge headache. Pounding head, yeah. Because you literally, it's absorbed into your bloodstream quicker and then the more you have. But is that also because we're not drinking like water?

High, high, no, like top shelf champagne? Oh, probably. I don't know, maybe. It also says ways to counteract this. This $8 bottle of wine that I drank 15 of, it's left me feeling terrible. Yeah, the classic,

drink a glass of water between each bubbles. Right. And it says, if you want to avoid a hangover, the best thing to do is not drink at all. I was going to say, would be probably the wisest advice

this holiday season. If you don't want a horrible hangover and the day to be a write-off, don't drink as much and be sensible. 724. I just want to stop for a minute on the whole, don't drink and be sensible. It's called balancing the break, Vaughn. Oh, yeah.

Right. Well, you've just clicked now, have you? So that people wouldn't be like, well, we're encouraging binge drinking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, gotcha. It's a bit of behind the scenes. But then now I feel like we've gone too far

into this whole sobriety and there's no balance. No, I think it's fine. I want to bring it back, man. Oh, yeah. Down to it. Just drink it through a funnel. Okay, now I've got to read out an 0800 number or something. Have I pushed it too far back that balance?

Half. Just be sensible and drink responsibly this holiday season. Nah, because you sounded like the fun police there. I'm going to need to pull it back a little bit by just saying, just skull. That's all we'll say. Megan. Speaking of Christmas parties and a little

bit of drinkies there was some drama that went down at our Christmas party involving Fletch. Plan worked brilliantly. Was that your plan? Well yeah, kind of was. So evil. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

ZM. The ZM Christmas party was on at the weekend, and we secret-santed. Did you find out who your secret-santer was? Gary. Very good from Soundkeeper Gary. He did a portrait of you. Yeah.

Your head was on Napoleon's. Napoleon's body. Very high-waisted pant. Yes, he really did pull the pants over the gut, didn't he? Yeah, yeah, yeah, right up there. And then he had his hands in his pants as well. But a moose knuckle. No, he had his hand in his...

Oh, his little vest. In between the buttons of the vest. Kind of pushing down the fat. Oh, man. That's what you do when you're in a photo. You just put your hand over your... Punch your shoulders forward, pull your shirt round. But no, many wonderful secret Santas.

Thoughtful. Yep your shirt round. But, no, many wonderful Secret Santas. Thoughtful. Yep. Thoughtful. Some people may have gone slightly over the $20 limit. See, it annoys me that you found out that was Gary. Because this is... Everybody finds out who their Secret Santa is. You're not meant to...

It ruins Secret Santa when everyone goes around saying who their Secret Santa was. You've got to never tell who you got for. But some people do really thoughtful presents. Like Bree got me little cute Peter Rabbit booties and then she came over and she wanted to say Merry Christmas. There's no way that was under the $20 limit. I know. See, that's another thing with Secret Santa.

No, but if you like the other person. There's no way that canvas was under $20. Although with Gary, he probably got a voucher. He loves a voucher. He loves a voucher. He's a voucher guy. But what did you get? Oh, Ross Boss. I got that framed picture of Ross Boss.

Oh, that's right. Yeah. Again, not probably under the $20, but that's fine. By the way, you left that behind. Adding that to the long list of gifts that people give you that you just leave behind. It wouldn't fit in the Uber, Megan. Did anyone else leave behind their presents? Heaps.

Everybody. There's literally a box. Yesterday when I was tidying up, I dedicated a box to the Secret Santas that people have just left behind. Do you know, speaking of ungrateful people, the person I gave the Secret Santa to, so ungrateful.

Well, that was probably the most dramatic aspect of the Christmas party. There was no... That was the disappointing thing about our Christmas party. There was no drama. It's because everyone gets along.

The good part about the Christmas party is that there was no drama. You know it's always fun when there's a drunk meltdown or a hookup between work colleagues. No, because it was at my house

so I didn't want to deal with any of that. Yeah, that's true. Fair call. But the person that you purchased Secret Santa for took umbrage at the fact that you put no effort and no thought into it. Well, this is the way I approach Secret Santa, because it's like the money value is not enough to get something decent.

Debatable. Unless you go over the $20 limit, which is breaking the rules. And every year I like to get stupid, weird things from places like the $2 shop or whatever. Like, do you remember Georgia? She spent a long time, all Christmas party, wondering why someone would get her giant farm animals, toys. She was like, who would do this? And I'm like, I don't know. That's so weird. And it was you. And it was you.

And it was me. Well, it happened at the weekend. And Celia, the recipient, joins us on the phone now. Good morning, Celia. Have you got over this? Because you were quite upset about this whole situation on Saturday. I'm still a little disappointed, to be honest. Tell everybody what you received when you opened up your Secret Santa gift.

I got a Mrs. Claus outfit. Pretty much a look-sharp gift pack. So a Mrs. Claus outfit. A children's diary and an emergency blanket. The emergency blanket really threw Celia.

And I was sitting next to Celia and she said to me, oh my god, who would get me this? Have they even put any thought in? And I was sitting next to Celia and she said to me, oh my God, who would get me this? Like, have they even put any thought in? And I was like, I know that's so rude. Definitely not someone who actually knows you

and hangs out with you. Yeah, no, definitely not. I know. Yeah, in fact, Fletch, you hang out with Celia and you've got a similar group of friends more than anybody. Arguably, you know her better than anyone else here.

This is where it annoys me that Megan told her she was my secret Santa. You've ruined it because you spent all party going around talking to everybody asking who would do this to you. I know. I put a lot of effort into my gift. I got producer Ben and I knew exactly what I wanted to get him, and I got him a gift on a $20 mark, looking at the sales and everything, and he loved it.

So I was just like, you know, kind of disappointed. A good friend didn't do the same for me. You put on the outfit and you look great, and you've got an emergency survival blanket for R&B this year, which is what you need. So you might get stuck in the vineyards. Also, Celia, as a friend of Fletcher's, we've known him a little bit longer than you.

This is the disappointment you can just get used to. Yeah. Little effort. Very rude. That's the thing with Secret Santa, though. You expect everybody to put in the same amount of effort that you do. Yeah. Like, you said you put in some effort.

You know what Ben's into, but you can't expect Fletch to put in that amount of effort. No. No, you're right. You're right. It's what it is. It's constant disappointment in humanity. But the present for me was the fact that she told me how disappointed she was in it. Before she knew that you'd

given it to her. And then when she knew and she had to come to me and say, oh my God, I'm so sorry. The whole thing was just so much entertainment for me. So that was worth more than $20. So you got two gifts then. I got two gifts, yeah. Which was brilliant. Hey, we'll see you at work today, Celia.

I'll see you soon. Thanks for being unappreciative. All right. Also, on Saturday, I said, you can expect to be on the show on Monday for this. Very rude. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Well, there's an annual leave hack for 2021,

which obviously only works for people that are on, like, full-time salary contracts. Right. You couldn't, this wouldn't work if you're like a contractor or like a part-timer. But for those that are on full-time contracts and doing the like the standard nine to five, next year, it is possible to turn 16 days leave into 48 days off. Whoa. Over the year. Because next year, five out of the 10 public holidays are going to be Monday-ized because they fall either on a weekend.

Wow. So next year is going to be an absolute bonanza for long weekends. For long weekend group. For long weekends. Oh, yeah. There'll be a lot of long weekend group toots next year. Oh, wow. That's good because it feels like we didn't have many this year.

Yeah, because we had a few, I'm group toots next year. Oh, wow, that's good because it feels like we didn't have many this year. Yeah, because we had a few, I'm guessing on the Friday. Yeah, it just didn't work out right until the lockdown. One in lockdown, yeah. So this is when it's possible. New Year 2021, you can take four days of leave

to get 10 days off by booking off January 6th to the 9th. The 6th to the 9th. Then you'll be able to go right through there. Waitangi Day, that's another one where you can just take either the Friday off or the Tuesday and make it a four-day weekend. Yeah. Or if you want to use a bit of extra leave, make it an extra longer.

Easter, you can take four days of leave to get 10 days off from Friday, April the 2nd to Easter Monday. And then by taking the week off from the 6th to the 9th that's a 10 day break. You get 10 days off by doing that. Anzac Day, Queen's Birthday Weekend, Labour Day, those are another one where you can just add one to the Friday or the Tuesday and get

a four dayer. And Christmas and New Year next year. It's weird you talk about Christmas and New Year next year okay it's weird you talk about Christmas and New Year next year but there's a lot of workplaces that let you put in the leave request now yeah

and then because you want to be first with the leave request yeah it's an amateur mistake to rock in a day before Easter and ask the boss for a long 10 day weekend no

you can take four days of leave to get 12 off next year good times Fletch is a person in your life that always knows these things. He tells us in advance. More exciting when he can actually go somewhere, but hey, it's fine. We'll go to New Plymouth for New Year's.

Fine. Imagine like this time last year before we knew what a giant cluster fudge this was going to be. I really thought you were going to say it then. This break. Imagine if we just said it and just moved on like it was no big deal.

But if you'd planned all this out. Oh, I know. This is going to be great. This bit, this bit, this bit, this bit, this bit. And then the wheels came off in like January, February of this year. Oh, well, here we are. A lot of us did, Vaughn. Here we are.

Flesh, Vaughn and Here we are. Fletchvorna Megan, the podcast, ZM. Stepping up to the podium for the 10th year of Nauru. Your gold medalist. Where's my medal? That's right. Especially this year. Yeah. Achieving anything's felt pretty good.

And maybe there's been something that you walk past every day in the house and you're like, that needs to be done, that needs to be done. We'll do that tomorrow. I'll do that the day after. It never gets done. You finally get round to doing it and it feels pretty good. But maybe when you told somebody about the achievement,

they didn't think it was that great. They didn't care. Because they're a high achiever, an overachiever, but we're here to celebrate any achievements at all. Yvette, good morning. Hello. Now, why do you deserve a medal? Well, I got married in January and I've just started sending out my thank you card.

Wow. But you spend so much time in the lead up, organising things. When it's over, you don't want to organise one more. I know. But now I'm putting my Christmas cards in the same envelope.

I love that. So you sent, but the fact that you even send Christmas cards. Yeah. Well, yeah. It's only Christmas cards because they're thank you cards. Right, right.

They're also double Christmasy thank you cards. Yeah, right. That's a double Christmas-y thank you card. Yeah, normally you wouldn't. I don't want to jinx this event, but I got sent a wedding thank you card nine months after the wedding, and then those people separated eight months later. So technically, I got their thank you card closer to their separation than their actual wedding. Oh, my God.

Okay, fingers crossed that's not me. I feel like it's too late. Like, did you almost think, why bother? Yeah, one of my friends was like, just don't do it. Like, has anybody ever gone, oh, I never got my thank you card? Just very, very close family. Right. Okay.

Right, but you probably see them and be like, hey, cheers to that. Thank you in person. Yeah. God, if only you had, like, months at home where you could have had, you know, the time to do that. Yeah, I'm definitely, like, the lazy COVID person. Not motivated. Hey, me too, girlfriend.

This is, in fact, getting a thank you card's just going to remind them that you didn't send them a thank you card. Yeah, yeah. So they don't get angry. Hey, but you've done it, and that's why we're celebrating. Yes. That achievement. Event weight there, a medal ceremony coming up. Whitney. I shouldn't say she'd done it. She said she'd started. Oh, yeah. True.

Whitney, why do you deserve a medal? I cleared out the plastics cupboard. Oh! Like you're doing the lids and everything. Everything. Everything. So it's no longer overflowing onto the floor. Wow.

And everything matches. Everything's got a lid. Everything matches. Yeah. Did you chuck out a sustainer that was tinted orange because you put bolognese in it? Bolognese in it? Yeah, absolutely. Good.

As well as one without a lid. Yeah. Get it all out. Oh, good, good, good, good. Yeah, that makes you feel good. Did you stack them inside each other and then the lids are beside it? Or did each piece have its lid on it in the drawer? Each piece has its lid on it in the drawer.

Otherwise, it didn't make the cut. I need to do that. Yeah, it's just not the best use of space, is it, though? No. I get it because you want the lid there when you want to use it. All right, Whitney, wait there. Medal ceremony imminent. Anna, why do you deserve a medal?

Hey, okay, so. Jesus, Anna. What did you have? Did you have a coffee? No, no, I'm, like, so proud of myself. I've been up for hours. I've got kids. Okay.

I went to Kmart. Yeah. Yeah. They only got what was on my list. Oh. Wow. Unheard of. I had one thing on my list yesterday and I had an absolute blowout.

It's just impossible. I don't know how you did that. I don't know either because I had to go across the store. Like I wanted something from Stationery and then I needed baby wipes. And you're bound to go through. Yeah, and then you're in the giant line for the five checkouts they have. And there's always stuff in that little snaky line that you're just like, well, I could do a chocolate bar or a chocolate Santa.

I got out of the store and I actually don't quite know how I achieved it. Wow. I was like, did that just happen? Did you almost feel so guilt ridden you almost went back in just to buy something else? Yeah, like you might be Kmart's downfall. Yeah. Because you made it out of there. I nearly brought a muffin on the way out at the muffin break.

Okay. But I was like, no, no. It doesn't count. You passed a muffin. You need to run a course or something. Once I see it, once I'm like, maybe I'll have a muffin. That's it. I'll never turn away from a muffin.

All right. Well, let's get our medal ceremony underway. Just a quick judges meet here. I don't know today. Those are all quite an achievement. This is an order that we took for calls. You happy with that? Yeah, I'm happy with that. This is an order that we took for calls. You happy with that? Yeah, I'm happy with that.

I'm happy with that. You want to enter into the fray here, Pappas? Anything you'd change? No, I'm happy with that. Yeah, with that. All right. Bronze medal today for services rendered to people who spent money coming to her wedding

and presumably gave her some stuff that was worth some money as well. Nine months after the day, Yvette, congratulations. A bronze medal for Where's My Medal. Yes. Thank you. I think you may have placed better if you'd actually already sent them out, Yvette. Some of them

have been sent. Some. The most important ones. Yeah. The oldest ones. What did you do stamps-wise? Because it's so expensive to buy stamps. I bought a $35 list of stamps off the embed poster website, but it was just enough for the overseas ones, and that was it. And some of the $1.40s were too much. I was spending too much on the overseas because it's just $3.40s.

Anyway. I would have just sent an email. Me, oh yeah, International Post would have got an email because you know that that's going to be delayed as well because all the ships are out at sea. A silver medal today for her services rendered to herself for not buying unnecessary shit she did not require. A trip to Kmart for just the thing on her list.

Unheard of. Thanks. Unheard of. I know. Congratulations, Anna. A silver medal for you. Thank you. That means in the sport of actually being like, bugger, I'm going to do it.

I'm going to do it. And clearing out the plastics drawer full of bloody bits and pieces broken lids lost seals and orange stained plastic containers a gold medal to Whitney the plastic straw sorter congratulations you achieved and the reward was the drawer being able to open Congratulations. Thank you. What an achievement. You achieved, and the reward was the draw, being able to open and close, and you not being like, just bloody shit.

The satisfaction every time you open that draw on her. Slide in, slide out. Yeah, I know. Satisfying. Well, thank you. That's going to feel great. Congratulations. Today's gold medal.

Well, how many days away from Christmas are we? Because Friday will be a week. 11 days away from Christmas. 11. Yee-hee. And a lot of people will be going home this weekend or will be working through and then maybe heading home. Yeah. And we thought we would start a back home bingo.

Yeah. Christmas holiday bingo. It happens every time, you know, you go home, the same things are said maybe. Oh, absolutely. There's the same line of questioning. There's the same, will you help me with my tech question. There's panic. There's always panic about something.

There's always Gran asking when you're going to have grandkids. Or when you're going to get married. When you're going to get a boyfriend and girlfriend. So we thought we would make up a bingo board that we can all play along with this holiday season. But we need your suggestions. So we thought we would open up the phone lines now and ask what is the one thing or the things that are always said when you're back home at the parents or at a family event?

It could be a specific like Christmas Day thing. Yep. Like, you know, some aspect of Christmas dinner gets ruined or is a little bit dry. Yeah, so it's not just sayings, right? Like, Santa's had too many sherries. Yes. Sleeping in like your childhood bed. Yeah.

And your mum saying something like, well, you know where everything is. Because if it's the same house, nothing ever changes. Do you think we could put political arguments on the board? Definitely. Yes. Or like, you know, like an old white uncle having a go at Jacinda. Yep.

And somebody messaged in a comment about weight. Yes. Or like, you know, like an old white uncle having a go at Jacinda. Yep. And somebody messaged in a comment about weight. It's not necessarily always like you put on weight. It could be like you've lost weight, but there's always like that generation loves to chat about weight. Oh, they do. Do you want some more? You're getting so thin. I mean, I've never had that one. I would love to.

Goals, eh? Goals. Yeah. You're wasting away oh my god Nana thank you oh my god Nana that's the nicest thing

you've ever said yeah so we want to just put together a list we'll chuck it on in a chart form what about a hot person from school

that isn't hot anymore like seeing somebody seeing them when you because you know how everyone's back in town yeah what about like actively avoiding

someone that you haven't seen for a while yep like you know if you're in your hometown and you're walking along the street you, because you know how everyone's back in town. Yeah. What about like actively avoiding someone that you haven't seen for a while? Yep. Like, you know, if you're in your hometown and you're walking along the street, you're like, I know them. So you'd like duck into a shop. And hide from them. Yeah. That's a little bit of a classic.

Okay. So we need your help to compile this grid. What are the events, the big events that always happen every time you go home for Christmas? All the sayings that mum and dad always say. I want to add to the list, like when you're an adult and you get your parents to drop you off at like a party. Yeah. I love doing that. You're like a fully grown adult, but you're like, can you drop me off?

There's no taxis in my hometown. No. If you're having drinks and you're like, can you drop me off? And what are you doing later? It won't be too late, I promise. Can you pick me up? But they'll still ask you what If you're having drinks and we're like, can you drop me off and what are you doing later? It won't be too late, I promise. Can you pick me up? But they'll still ask you

what time you're coming home. Yeah. Well, they want to know because they've got to get out of bed to come and get you. And then when they come and pick you up

and they're in their like jammies or a robe, you're like, this is pretty cute. We're talking about Back Home Bingo. It's a game you can play. We're going to make this

printable or keep it on your phone or whatever and you tick it off as it happens if you're heading home for Christmas. Yep. So how many, if our grid's like five by five, we're going to need 25 things. Events that always happen when you go home or sayings. Can we do 25? Five by five grid?

I reckon we could do. Are you laughing? You think that's too many or are you just marvelling at my maths? No, no, no. I was laughing at a text that just came in. Some that you can't read out. The mother-in-law? Yeah.

The magazine in the truck? What? So one on for the list could be a mother-in-law shares an interesting fact that she's learnt. Or like someone shares an interesting fact that's not a fact. Right, okay. One year she told us that people, like women from a certain region of the world don't have hair where it counts.

Her husband told her that that was a load of rubbish and she was adamant and he said, well, don't make me go and get the magazine in my truck that will prove you wrong. Wow. But there is that, when you're told something as a fact. That's a good one for the list. Fake news.

Fake news. Fake news. Gemma, good morning. Hi. Now, what should go on our bingo board? Being greeted with good afternoon when you are the last one out of bed or get out of bed any later than 9 a.m. Oh, yeah, yeah, get up.

Good afternoon. Good afternoon. Some passive, yeah. Some lunch. A passive aggressive tone of voice with your sleeping or your sleep schedule.

Yeah. Yeah. We're on holiday, aren't we? Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. It's a shame for enjoying some sleep.

Thanks for your call, Gemma. Logan, what's your go on the holiday bingo board? It seems to happen every single year, especially with younger kids, but it doesn't come with batteries. Oh, yeah. Have we got any batteries? Yeah, where are the batteries?

Yeah, that's the battery-related chat. It's a great Christmas Day situation. And then that parents would turn around and just be like, oh, that doesn't work anymore, or we don't have batteries. Yeah, yeah. And you'd just be forced to not use it again. Thanks, Logan. Sheila, what should go on the back home holiday bingo board?

Well, I don't know whether it's just my mother, but I always get greeted with, did you know so-and-so had died? Oh, yeah. Yeah, that someone down the street's brother-in-law. Yeah. I don't know who that is. I mean, I've lived away from my hometown for years,

but she assumes that I still know everybody or that I do know everybody. She's just said that for 80 years. And, you know, apparently I always know them and she gets really annoyed when I don't. That's brilliant. That's true. You do get the updates of the recently departed.

Thanks, Sheila. Some text messages. Question from any family member. How's work going? That's the classic. They said that's the recently departed. Thanks, Sheila. Some text messages. Question from any family member. How's work going? That's the classic. They said that's the classic intro. Every single year, my nana calls my wife

by my high school girlfriend's name for the entire two weeks, even though she was at the wedding. So there's the, and somebody else said. Is it on purpose? Don't know. She's just dottery.

Somebody else said. She's claiming dotteriness. For the bingo board, you should have it where your mum wants to talk to you but goes through everybody else's name before she can remember who she's talking to.

Even the pets. Yes, we have to do that one. Amy, Amy, what should be on the back home bingo board? Oh, well, I get two. One is the more conservative side of the family asking me when I'm going to grow out of my

phase of being lesbian. And the second is when are you having kids and which one's having it? Oh yeah, great. You must love going home at Christmas. Yeah. How long have you been with your

partner? How many Christmases have you been hit with that when are you going to grow out of this situation? Well, so I've never had a male partner. So for the last 10 years, it's been female ones at Christmas. Yeah. Right. But granddad's always quite keen for... Yeah.

So does he think it's like a magic spell or something? I haven't found the right man Oh yeah, you just made a good Yeah, yeah, yeah Good, yeah Oh my god How do you respond? Just roll your eyes or have you got something you say to him?

No, it's I've got a friend who had a similar experience, and so they said, oh, trust me, I tried. Nice. But, yeah, personally, just kind of like, okay, granddad, cool, thanks. Yeah. Another brandy.

Whatever. Yeah, I'm sure there's others that are in a similar situation. Yeah, yeah, oh, no doubt. No doubt. All right, Amy, yeah, good luck with that. I always get squeegee the shower. Do you get that? Oh. Yeah, yeah. Oh, no doubt. No doubt. All right, Amy, yeah, good luck with that. I always get squeegee the shower. Do you get that? Yeah, yeah.

Mum has loved to squeegee the glass shower. It's left in the shower. Mum's like, you didn't do the squeegee. A relative, and I get this, I think, from relatives in Nelson, is, insert town or city, dangerous because they hear of the stabbing. Oh, yeah, in Auckland. Or a shooting. Whereabouts in Auckland are you?

Are we going to hear that incident with the gang members? dangerous because they hear of the stabbing or a shooting. Whereabouts in Auckland are you? Are you anywhere near that incident with the gang members? A rant about millennials or a generation. That could be a square. Forgetting that they were the ones that raised that generation so it was their pissball parenting that's the blame for any problems they do have.

A weird silence when someone says something inappropriate or racist. Yeah, and you've got to decide how to move on. Normally a mum or an auntie saying, I just want a tiny slice. Tiny slices. Just tiny slices or portions. And someone falling asleep is another message.

That's what somebody said. Falling asleep on the couch after food. Somebody said the days after Christmas, your mum's saying there's still some ham in the fridge. There's a wildly over-catering ham every single year. And then they put one of their really old tea towels over it. Yep.

Getting told what you should be doing with your life. Getting told to go outside and don't use up all the internet. Don't use up all the internet! That's a good one. Someone getting quite boozed. There's always a comment about ripped jeans, being like, did you buy them like that?

Did you buy them like that? Yeah, that's a classic. Mum always saying diet starts tomorrow. Oh, my God, yes. Your younger single sibling sneaking off for a hookup with someone in the hometown. Someone saying to me, you better not be pregnant again. Cousins being made stand back to back to see who's the tallest

Someone's saying We don't see you enough Oh yeah Oh yeah there's some good ones in here Yeah Nana Saying something inappropriate And then saying don't blame me It's how we talked back in the day.

That's not an excuse, Nana. No, it's not an excuse anymore. So there we go. We've got some good, we've got a good starting point here. Okay, well, we're going to have to pick our favourite 25. For the back home bingo. The most popular, and we'll get that online so you can download it. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about the Christmas pickle. Okay, all Christmas facts this week? All Christmas facts. Good. Last week of work before Christmas for us. What's a Christmas pickle? Well, it's a lesser known Christmas tradition for some Americans.

Now, the weird part about this is no one has ever actually nailed down the origin story. So there's this, one of the strong things is that it originated in Germany. And they were like, oh yeah, okay, that makes sense. You know, Germany. And then they asked all these German Christmas people, like historians, because Christmas is quite massive in Germany, like the Christmas markets and stuff. Although, oh yeah, they have the Glühwein, the mulled wine.

Germany is going into lockdown until the 10th of January. When this week, eh? Yeah, Wednesday. Yeah, so Christmas and New Year's is going to all be locked down in Germany. Crazy. So, I mean, another reason to be thankful that we live here. And use the Tracer app. Keep using the Tracer app. Enable the Bluetooth. And on that, you've

got to open it to enable the Bluetooth. There's been an update. Yeah. So, that's been discounted. It's not actually, it didn't originate in Germany. But the idea is, the Christmas pickle is a Christmas tree decoration that looks, or maybe can be, a pickle. Okay. Now, the idea is that somebody is in charge of hanging the Christmas pickle on Christmas Eve.

And then the first person to find the Christmas, because you know in the excitement of Christmas morning, you might forget about the Christmas pickle. Yeah. But the first person to find the Christmas pickle will get either an extra present or they've earned themselves a year of good fortune. Oh, extra present.

Is this a fake pickle or is it like, do you have to dry out a pickle? Well, no. So you can buy like a fake pickle. A fake glass or ceramic pickle. Or because it's only up for one night. Yeah, hang a real pickle. You can actually hang a real pickle.

Well, you'd want to drip the juice off of it first. Dry it on the tea towel. Otherwise, you don't want pickle juice on a present or something. On the carpet. You'd want like a briny, like a pickley, vinegary brine. It would be dripped all on the floor. And then you'd know where the Christmas pickle was. You'd see the drips.

You'd look up. Yeah, you would. The stain on the floor. Yeah, so you can start this tradition yourself if you've got a pickle. Okay. And you want to get amongst... What is a weird, a really weird Christmas tradition,

but I like it. Instead of a... Do you have to use a dill pickle? You could use one of those tiny little like cornucon things and that would make it really hard. What's a corn-a-con? The tiny, tiny pickles that you have on like grazing tables. Yeah, like platters have them.

Yeah, imagine that. That would make it hard. You'd never find that. Grab them real early. Are they a special type of pickle? They're just called corn-a-cons. Okay. Yeah, I think it's like a mini, you know,

when you have a stir fry, you have a mini corn. Corn! Yeah. Those are weird, eh? Is that just picked early corn? No, that's got to be a different type of corn. No, have a mini corn. Corn? Yeah. Those are weird, eh? Is that just picked early corn? No, that's got to be a different type of corn. No, they pick it early. That was going to be a real big corn.

It can't have been. It was going to be a giant big corn. And then it just gets put in a can or a stir fry. But don't they grow big and then ripen? No, they're real little corns that were going to be real big corns. Oh, now you make me sad. I don't want to eat the little corns. You're right.

Baby sweet corn is a cereal grain taken from corn or maize harvested early while the stalks are still small and very immature. It's typically eaten whole, cob included, in contrast to mature corn whose cob is too tough for human consumption. See, told you. That was going to be a real big corn. What else do they do that with? They don't let it grow up.

Not carrots. They just take a big carrot and they shave it down. Have you ever seen how baby carrots are made? In the factory. In the perfect baby carrots. Oh, my God. I shaved carrots. Chlorinated.

They're like jet blasted. It's a pretty amazing video, actually. You can also get small carrots, but they don't look like that. They're not as perfect. They're all gnarled and everything. Alright, so today's Oh, so are little gherkins. The little cornucons are just like

babies. Babies that aren't going to grow up into big ones. Now are they Lebanese cucumbers? I've got some Lebanese cucumbers. Well that's technically what a courgette is. Don't you have specific A moreau. Yes, a baby moreau. Don't you have specific like like, gherkin cucumbers? Yeah, dill pickles.

Yeah. Now, is the dill about the bean, the dill gets added to the pickle and it's still just a small cucumber? I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. Depends when you pick your dilly, really, isn't it? Otherwise it gets too big. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sometimes you might think, no, wait, but a big dilly's not for everybody. No. So today's fact of the day, the Christmas fact of the day, is that there is a Christmas tradition called the Christmas pickle where you hide a pickle on the Christmas tree and if you find the pickle, you get an extra present. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

The podcast. ZM. The 12 days of Fletchmas. Well, it's our last week this week to win prizes. You've just got to register at ZM Online and then decide if you're on the naughty or the nice list and give a reason why you're on either the naughty or the nice list and we could call you back.

Who's on the nice list? Good morning, Morgan. Good morning. How are you? Good. Now, why are you on the nice list? I saved a dog from running out onto the road and getting run over by a car. That's good. That's a family pet. That would have been horrible at Christmas. But were you just walking it or something or did you just see it there

and you were like, stop dog, stop, don't do it. So we were walking our two dogs around the dog park and we'd just finished and put them in the car and we were driving away and this dog comes down the road and it looked stressed out. It was all over the road. So we carried on driving to see if its owner was chasing it. Couldn't see an owner. So we did a U-turn and came back and it still hadn't found its owner so I stopped the car and jumped out and my partner had to jump

into the driver's seat to let all the other cars go past. I had the spear lead that I had on my dogs and put it on a lead and then I walked over out of the way and my partner pulled up and ran off to go and find the owner so yeah we saved his life saved his life yeah because he was going to he was heading towards a 70 kilometer an hour road imminent death eminent and you were there to save the day morgan pretty Yeah. All right, on the nice list. Ho, ho, ho! Who's on the naughty list? Scott, good morning. Hi there. The naughty list. Why are you on the naughty list?

So for the last four or five months, I've been telling my wife that I've finished work at five when actually I've been finishing at 4.30 and having half an hour of me time. Oh! Now, what are you... This isn't long, though. What are you doing, your half an hour me time?

You know, just go for a swim at the moment or just have a bit of a read, play some games, maybe a quick beer with a colleague or power nap. OK, and then... My wife's at home with a colleague or power nap. My wife's at home with a newborn baby, so can't leave the school. Naughty Liz just got a whole lot naughtier. You said a power nap.

Where do you have a power nap? Just in the car, you know. You don't get much sleep with a newborn. Oh my god. She's waiting for you to get home to tap out and you're just like, oh, so wee. Just going to have a little half an hour. But then you've got to start the next shift though,

don't you? So you're straight home into it. You're having a break between shifts. Yeah, exactly. You're just having a half an hour. The thing is now it's getting to summer so I don't really want to, you know, I want to get home earlier. So that time I think, yeah. You're going to start coming home with a tan though if you keep going to the beach. Yeah. Every half an hour after work though scott you'll have that explaining to do

i think i'm uh i think i'm toast tonight anyway once you listen to your podcast i might have to uh spend a half an hour tonight figuring out my plan if you win i hope whatever is oh yeah it's good enough to get you somewhat out of that dog box that you put yourself in. Oh, all right. Well, I mean someone, I mean Morgan saved a dog's life. But maybe that is reward enough because I just can't get over the fact that Scott is lying,

lying about half an hour of his time and I'm going to choose you today, Scott. Oh, my God. Thanks. Hopefully it's something good that she'll love. Let's say his name. We should have changed his name. Naughty Scott.

Lots of people said Scott. Oh, okay. Well, we have got here an Amazon Alexa. Oh, awesome. Yeah, so you can be like, hey, Alexa, how do I get out of trouble with the wife? And she'll be like, well, you could buy her some flowers. And she can say, hey, Alexa, what's Scott's location?

And Alexa will be like, I'm glad you've asked. He's at the beach. Again. Where he is every day. These are great. So this is the Smart Speaker Plus, Alexa. Congratulations. Scott, it's all yours

On today's Naughty or Nice list Sounds really good, thanks guys If you'd like to register Just go to ZM Online Tell us if you want to be on the Naughty or the Nice list Still some presents These are real small presents too There's a real big one and a real small one

Yeah, so we've got a couple of presents left Register ZM Online to play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The podcast. Just been reading about a TV that's, I don't, needed new TV. Well, before I read this article, I didn't think I needed any new TV. Okay. There is.

You have a giant, your TV, how many inches are you? It's 75. Could it, wall's big enough for an 85. He's 10 bigger than me. Wall's big enough for an 85. You're 10 inches bigger than me it's not about size it is size queens that's how close you can get to it yeah because if you that's how you watch it sit quite close to it it's not how big it is it's how you watch it yeah or something or what you're watching keep telling yourself that megan um because samsung's just announced a 110 inch

gee television that so when they measure it when you say like a tv 65 inch it's the diagonal measurement across one top corner to the opposite bottom corner so how how many how long would that be in your lounge because that would be my entire wall so So from top left-hand corner to bottom right-hand corner, it's 280 centimetres. So if you had a 55-inch, is it double that? Diagonal, yes. You could fit four 55-inch TVs in that. Wow.

That's just unnecessary, surely. Is it? Because it looks pretty good. When you've ever bought a TV, this is how it works. You go into the wherever, the Noel Aming, the Harvey whatever's,

and you stand there and you're like, well, I want the biggest one. And then you see the price and you're like, well, go down a couple, go down a few inches. I can sacrifice a couple of inches.

Then you go down like quite a few inches. Yeah. Because have you seen, like when you're in those stores, you see the giant ones, they're like tens of thousands of dollars. Yeah. The have you seen, like when you're in those stores, you see the giant ones. They're like tens of thousands of dollars. Yeah.

The massive ones. Well, that's the thing. This doesn't have a... There's no price on it? There's a no. I can't see. I will be very happy with my 65 inch frame TV. Yeah, like what is the actual point if you've,

like you can see your TV. It's big enough to see. No, I'm not following you at all. Why do you need 110? What's the point? It's bigger. Why's big enough to see. No, I'm not following you at all. Why do you need 110? What's the point? It's bigger. Why do you go to the movies? Because it's the biggest screen.

Yeah, but like, how big do you need Hilary Barry watching Stephen Sharp? The bigger the better. The bigger the better. I want her larger than life. I want her bigger than big. I want her massive. What are you looking at now? You trying to find the-

The biggest one I can find online at a retail store, 82 inches. Why not? And that's, it's got a price match, $10,999 for 82 inches. And that's a massive TV. And you would need them to deliver that as well because that's not fitting in the back of the car. No. Good Lord. TV's that big. You need a van deliver that as well because that's not fitting in the back of the car. No. Good Lord.

TV's that big. Or a van delivery. Yeah. So the biggest ones you can get are 85 inch. There's an 86 inch. Yeah, there you go. LG does an 86 inch for five and a half, 5,300. What's it at K though?

4K, 8K? So there's a Samsung 85 inch QLED QED, QE whatever, KFC. That's a 4K. So there's a Samsung 85-inch QLED QED. Yeah. QE whatever, KFC. That's a 4K. That's 7,765. Right. But 110 inches.

So that's massive. I don't even have a wall for that. I don't think so. This one's going to be able to do, so for example, a parent can go up to four. You could have the PlayStation in the bottom left-hand corner, the news in the top right-hand corner. Like, you can have four screens within the screen. You'll look like one of those command centres.

You're allowed to look like a command centre in a movie. You know where you're looking for the bad guys on all the CCTV? Yeah. Or the spies? Yeah. Have a globe, a picture of the Earth spinning. You could do that if you want. Just have it on Sounds great

You don't need one Smitty You've got enough wall for it though Yeah I do actually Get rid of those pesky shelves next to it Yeah And some of those like things That hold up the roof

The They're overrated Yeah Oh the beams Get rid of a couple of the beams And I reckon you'll fit that in Shouldn't we not need all of them Well the team is so dry It it actually could be a brace.

Yeah, actually. We'll need a new wall anyway, so we might as well get rid of that brace. Just get a brand new wall. Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

And music lives here. ZM.