ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 14th October 2020

Episode Date: October 13, 2020

Hamilton Sky Garden  Jared & Megan Voted  Top 6: Kmart  I Hope I'm Not the Only One!  Bet I Can Guess Your Mums Name!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleet's Morning Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe by 5 McCafe Coffees. Get one free on the Maccas app. We're recording this after the show and I'm fresh off of ridiculing. I'm ridiculing. I walked back into the producer's booth with a cup and it had a hot barocca in it. Okay. Yuck. Yeah, Megan was there and ridiculed me for having a hot barocca v a cold barocca. Yuck.

Here's the idea. It dissolves quicker and it's a warm drink. No, I like a cold Barocca over a hot Barocca. Hot Barocca's not a thing. You have to wait. It is 100% a thing. You have to wait so long for the Barocca to dissolve. Fair call.

It was frothy too, which was weird. And he was blowing it. He was like. No, I was going. He's sipping it like a coffee. I was sipping it because i was worried that the phone was gonna flow over the top of the cup weird it's still weird um i made one for sharday at the weekend and she tipped it in front of me eyeballed me and tipped it down

the sink i was like i won't have it i was like god what are you aggressive about the eye what a power move yeah just didn't even look at where it was going in the sink she could have missed the sink entirely but she just eyeballed me She tipped it down to the sink. So, you know, you're still, that's the thing after nearly 10 years of marriage, you're still learning. Still learning. Always learning. You never stop learning.

Learn something new every day. ZM. Hit music. Lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Good morning. Welcome to the show.

Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. I can't turn my headphones up anymore, I think this is like, I think I'm as deaf as I can be. Are you trying to turn them up more, they're already like a speaker. Yeah.

Don't you have, sorry I'm bored. Don't you have a control on the desk as well that then amplifies that even more? No, that's up. So you are at the full extent of a digital mains powered professional broadcast desk and the knob attached to a headphone amp

and it's still not loud enough for you. These two feel a bit quieter today. They are quiet. Somebody's turned them down. Someone's trying to save our hearing. Oh, no, you know what it is?

What? We're in the Bree and Clint setting. Do you reckon they've got a lower headphone setting? That's why Bree's headphones always crank to the max. I'm like, that girl is deaf. Oh, that'll be it. Flick it to the... I don't know if I've ever flicked it to our setting while we're on air.

This will be a world first. Let's see what happens. I have to go under. Okay, standing by switching. Okay. Oh, that's better. That's be a world first. This is what happens. Okay, standing by switching. Okay. Oh, that's better. That's a more full sound. That's loud. That's a fuller sound. I don't know if this sounds any different.

No, I don't think it'll be any different to listeners right now, but I tell you what, we have a higher headphone setting. Is that loud for you? Oh my god, too loud. Yeah. Good to know I can go down a notch though. Wow, there we go. Cool.

Cool, man. Cool, here we are, baby. Do you know what you're doing for the top six? Nah. When's that happening? Ah, just before seven. Lots of time to come up with a list and then six points to go on that list

about something semi-current events-y. Feel free to start talking. I was just going to have a drink. It's one of those shows today, isn't it? Good Lord. Off to a strong start. Start how you mean to continue? Strong.

You can't hear that, but Executive Intern Anya's role has arised for a fifth time since the show started. Very rude. Very rude. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. There's a delay in the PlayStation 5 being released in India because somebody play marked, somebody trademarked PS5.

What, like ages ago? Well, semi-recently. Right. I mean, before they did. That seems silly that they would make that slide. It's why Burger King scored Hungry Jacks in Australia, right? Because somebody already had a restaurant in Australia that they'd trademarked as Burger King.

Some old stubborn prick like you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They rock in there with heaps of money and he still won't sell it. I can't believe he didn't. I know. Because they would have paid all the money to have it. Yeah. So, yeah, much like that, except this guy,

he kind of knew exactly what he's doing. He's been selling counterfeit accessories for PlayStations and knew that the PlayStation 5, you know, it was a fair shot. You had your PlayStation, your PlayStation 2, your PlayStation 3, your PlayStation 4. What on earth could they call the next one? Yeah, all like nicknamed PS4 and then obviously PS5. Exactly.

Isn't that some kind of like extortion? I don't know. Like some kind of like extortion? I don't know Like some kind of like corporate extortion? Because people do that They buy up websites of like You know Products and companies that You know could happen

Yeah yeah Well I remember Then this was going back years and years and years There was this weird case of If like Madonna was the example that was used. When the internet started to take off, some guy bought Madonna.com, Madonna.org, Madonna.net, all the Madonnas.

Madonna.gov. Yeah, Madonna.co.uk, because remember she moved to the UK, married Guy Ritchie, and started talking a little bit on Madonna, aren't I? Like every Kiwi on there, aren't we? Yeah, yeah. I now talk British. Yeah, I'm from Tokoroa

No Actually we got down there So Madonna It got to the point where If You It was your name

That you were so well known for And someone was using it And it wasn't their name You could get it back Right Because it was yours It was early internet law Okay They couldn their name, you could get it back. Right, because it was yours. It was like this early internet law. Okay.

They couldn't use your name to get internet traffic for something that wasn't related to you. But what if it was a product? I don't know. Right. I don't know. And that may have changed since. Yeah, right.

Does he have to prove that he's actually using PS5 for something? Not just buying it up so that they have to pay them to get it. Buy it off them. Well, it's delayed the release there. I hope they've now trademarked six, seven, eight, nine. But in every single country? Do they have to do regional?

Like, would there be some territories where it wouldn't be worth it? Imagine sitting in a smaller territory like Iceland and you're like, oh, you've just gone through with gold and you're waiting for your PlayStation 5, but someone's done PlayStation 5 and PlayStation's like, oh, don't bother.

It's only Iceland. Don't buy it. Don't pay them for it. It's only Iceland. And you're like, no. Because you'd just use the main one, wouldn't you? Just PlayStation.com and it'd just be slash the country, which is normally the case.

But if you can't advertise. Because of the trademark just be slash the country. Yes. Which is normally the case. But if you can't advertise because of the trademark. Because of the trademark. And you can't sell it and make original money off the PS5 because someone in India owns the trademark. How many people in India? A couple. A couple of billion?

No, it's over a billion now. It's not as much as China but it's the second most populous. But like that's delayed because of one person. Like a billion people, though, isn't it? It's over a billion now. It's not as much as China, but it's the second most populous. But, like, that's delayed because of one person. Like, a billion people can't buy a PS5. Yeah, you can't write off that territory. So somebody did some investigations and found it's the same guy that owns the Kakose trademark,

which is apparently an online store selling, like, counterfeit PlayStation controllers and accessories and everything. So PlayStation are trying to stop. Sony is trying to stop that being sold on Amazon and international sales sites. Yeah, right. And it's the same person that owns that, that lodged the... We live and we learn, don't we? Wow.

Also, I'd shit myself if I got a call from an international company. I know, right? I was just trying to play a bit of hardball and their lawyers called me. I'd be like, how many are on your legal team? Hold on, I'll just count. One, two, three, four. Stop. You can do that.

It's more than enough. You can have it now. Thank you. But anyway, it's still getting released here around, like a month away. Just in time for that celebration at the end of the year. I see what they've done. Christmas?

Yes, of course. I thought you meant my wedding anniversary. It does come out the day before. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The Podcast. This has been shared on an Australian community group on Facebook. Many women have shared their new

tactic in cleaning and some are horrified and don't want to do this. Okay. But some women are just really keen to know the horrible truth that's hidden within their homes. So they're using black lights and ultraviolet rays. Like CSI. To reveal dirt that you otherwise wouldn't know was there.

I thought that you needed to spray something. Isn't that for blood? To activate. Oh, is that just for blood and bodily fluids? I think that's for blood. Right, but you can still just use a black light. God, oh God. Oh, I don't know.

I mean, I don't know the science. Yeah, it says a black light emits UV light that's invisible. Certain fluorescent substances absorb the UV light and re-emit it at a different wavelength and makes it visible. So maybe blood's not one of them? Oh, there's three substances. Blood,

saliva and urine and another body left fluid. Which one? It's not. Whose? Semen. Oh, you didn't need to say that. You could have alluded to that. Very grubby. It doesn't say.

That's one of the ones they use in crime. They use UV lights for. But it doesn't say that you have to spray anything on it. I always thought there was that spray. Yeah, they said the CSI people. Are you telling me TV shows and movies have lied to us? No, I thought the lie was that you could see it without the spray. Right.

Okay. But it says it also detects laundry detergents that are dried. the lie was that you could see it without the spray. Right. Okay. But there's, it says it also detects like laundry detergents that are dried. Yeah. Club soda, lemon juice and toothpaste. Club soda? Yeah. So it might not, you might be seeing it like emit a light back to you

but it might just be like toothpaste or something. Like it's not. Right. It might not always be. But then I guess you know where to clean. Yeah. But then I guess you know where to clean. Yeah. But then if you've cleaned and to the naked eye it looks fine, that's clean enough, isn't it? Well.

Like do you need to know that kind of level of. Do you know one of them used the black light and the carpet was so dirty she ripped it up and replaced it with wooden floorboards. Because she's like, I'm not going back to carpet, that's disgusting. Well, when you think about it, your carpet does take a punish, right? Yeah. Like, even if you just have it. You don't get a one plain coloured carpet. It's got to have a little bit of a fleck to it.

So it hides the sin. Or a grey. I've got like a black carpet. Yeah. That's great. Like a dark grey. It's really good with little flecks of white. Oh, yeah.

So it's really good. We've got a grey carpet too. You'd be a fool to go for a cream carpet. Who gets a cream carpet? An absolute moron. What are you doing? Another woman said

it's a must if you have boys in the house because she shined it in the toilet that she thought was clean. Oh, for wee splatters. Like splash.

Yeah. I thought she was a teenage mum, a mum of teenagers About to make a Horrible You'd be best just not to know Yeah just don't look

You'd be best at a weekly Wash of the sheets And know that they'll be Moving out soon Praying and hoping That they'll be moving out And they become Somebody else's problem

Yeah That's grim If you can't see it It's not there right Right Good man Try to live by it Yeah

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. This is going to be big for the Tron, for Hamilton, if it happens. There's plans for what is being touted as a sky garden. A garden in the sky? Yeah, pretty much. It's a sky garden tower. Right.

And they're saying it would be a landmark in line with the Opera House in Big Ben. Because if resource consent is granted, 100 metres could be its height. But that's not where it ends. Right. It's made out of timber.

Do you like the design? I haven't seen a full design. I've seen like... I feel like there's a similar one in, is it Singapore? Yes. But the Singapore one maybe looks a bit nicer. That one looks a bit... I like the...

It looks like there's got some kind of... Is there a bungee or something off of it? So you can bungee off it. Right. And you're going to be able to do like a swing off it. Like so you... Like the canyon swing in Delacoinstown. There's two big sticks further out.

Two big sticks. Two big structures further out. And you start on the Sky Garden and you swing off it and you can also go on a slide down it. Now that's probably the slide looks pretty cool. I'd be down for the slide. The slide's like transparent and you go down. You can't fall out.

There's a restaurant at the top. Yep, out. There's a restaurant at the top. Yep, yep. Wow. There's a restaurant. Pretty cool. Mind-blowing part about it is that the construction material would be timber. Yeah, see, looking at it, it almost looks like it's not finished with the timber. Be like, do you need some time before I go up there?

Right. Do you want to put steel on the outside of that one? I'm just not used to seeing such a huge structure solely made out of timber. Well, that's apparently the timber that would be used is almost as strong as steel, but lighter, more efficient, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. But yeah, apparently Singapore's built some huge timber structures of the, you know, this is like it. And you always see people taking like Instagram photos because that'll be the idea, right?

Oh, 100%. Get tourists stopping when we get tourists back. Yeah. So you might be thinking, where the bloody hell in Hamilton is this going to go? Well, originally it was planned or touted for the Waitomo area. Oh, okay. But resource consent wasn't granted.

So now apparently the Hamilton City Council are saying, so beside the Waikato Museum, basically. So closer to the river, behind the art post, which is the store over the road from the bank, which is beside the outback. I'm giving all your real big Hamilton locations here. Oh, yeah, okay, right. So behind that waterfall fountain thing

that looks like those little rods you used to use in maths to count. Yeah, okay. Two, five rods are worth a ten rod, et cetera. So there's a fountain there behind down. Does it buy that bakery I got the crab stick from that time? No, that's further down the road. That's the bakehouse? That's further down, isn't it?

Okay, yeah. That's much closer to the Victoria Bridge. God, I love a crab stick at two o'clock in the morning. Tell you that much. There'd be no better place for it than the bakehouse. To get a crab steak. Delicious. Anything you want, some hot chips,

hot dog, filled roll. Well, that's certainly exciting news for the time. Yeah, it'd be great. If that happens. And now I tell you what, check mate Whanganui with your giant pencil. Yeah, they're coming for you. They're coming for you.

Certainly put you in your place. I think you're going to need a giant pencil case or something. I'd like to see a whole stationery store pop up on the banks of the Whanganui.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. I participated in Democracy yesterday. That was what we said as we drove away. We're like,

woo, yes. Democracy. An early vote? Yeah, so two out of three of us now, early vote, but Vaughan likes to pump in ceremony.

We've organised the weekend. It's going to be breakfast. Are you taking the kids? Yep. Okay. Are you allowed to take the kids? I don't know if you're allowed. Actually, if anybody's listening,

if they know if you're allowed to take them into the booth because they're a bit more curious about it this time. Like last election, I remember we said, we're going to vote. We're going to vote. It's time to vote. And then we got there in August. I was like, where's the boat?

And she was really angry that we weren't going on a boat. I was like, no vote. And she was like, oh, this stinks. And yeah, we just stood in line and exercised our democratic right to vote and didn't go on a boat. It's pretty loose. Like there's not like security there. And they didn't tell me anything when I went into one of those booths.

It weren't like, don't look over anyone's shoulder. One person. Oh, it does have a sign that says one person per. And it says, like, no photos. But I took a photo because, you know. It doesn't void you. It doesn't. Nah, you're fine, I think.

It doesn't void your vote. And we joked about everyone testing the pens on the cardboard lectern stands. Covered in pens already. Because 1.1 million New Zealanders have already voted. Is it now it's exceeded? Early votes have exceeded the entirety of voting last election. Yeah, the last graph I saw was really close. Graph?

Graph was really close to, yeah, the whole of last year's early voting, last elections. Wow. No, no, all voting. All voting. I feel like I read something elections. No, no, all voting. All voting. I feel like I read something that's like, is this sure? Wasn't voter turnout terrible last time?

Only 1.1 million? Of the eligible. That's crazy. Now you're making me doubt it. But I was amazed when I read it. I was like, it cannot be, you suckly blue. Producer Jared, you also voted. I did.

It was pretty sweet. Now, you had a bit of an experience at yours, though. Yeah, my voting place doubled as a after-school care program. Oh. So were you voting and were there, like, gross kids everywhere? Yeah, feral kids sprinting around and screaming. Wait, so they didn't have, like, an area set out. It was just, like, in amongst.

I'm sure they did originally like an area set out. It was just like in amongst. I'm sure they did have, originally have an area. Right. But by the time I was waiting in line to vote, there was just kids like darting in and out and there was screaming and peanut butter everywhere. I don't think you're allowed peanut butter at... After school care, baby. It's the wild west.

All right. That's... Yeah, if I've ever gone anywhere, like if the girls have got like a practice after school or whatever, the after school care is just riotous. Yeah. It's just like, oh, you should just give them, what is that anti-hay fever medication you give kids

and it makes them go to sleep? I don't know if you give this drug children in an after school care. I'd be like, oh, the pollen count was through the roof. All their eyes were watering and their noses were blocked. So I gave them some hay fever medication and they're like... So did that make voting difficult?

I wouldn't say it made it difficult because it's such an easy process. Why wouldn't you go out there and do it? Yeah, it is. Yeah. Just put you off having kids of your own. That was very political. Yeah, very political.

Great way to encourage a leader. You sounded like a leader. It was a great advertisement for the vasectomy party of New own. That was very political. Yeah, very political. Great way to encourage a leader. You sounded like a leader. It was a great advertisement for the vasectomy party of New Zealand. Yes. Were there any kids there, like, because I'd imagine

the after school care is just the absolute, you know, nest and... Yeah. Gross ground of the far right media commentator. Was anybody like, who are you voting for,

you left wing mouthpiece? Your mainstream media? Yeah, most of them said that. Yeah, because, yeah. Did you use a crayon? Did they have like crayons and felt? I would have used a crayon or a felt for my vote tick. That would have been cute.

A pastel. Imagine a pastel. I did use the classic fist grip when I ticked. Yeah, good, good. Well, you can vote now and any time up until Election Day, which is this Saturday, October 17. Now, if you need any info, you want to round up your friends, head along and vote.

You can go to vote.nz and find either the early voting places or the polls that will be open on Saturday so that you can vote. Fletchvorna Megan, the podcast, ZM. From the oily ZM think tank, this is the Top 6. Hello there. The Top 6 today, the Top 6 signs you're in the cult of Kmart. This is due to all this chat about a Kmart coffee machine and how it's like, this

$99 Kmart coffee machine outperforms a $3,500 thingy. One of the flash coffee machines. That's how you know that the milk's almost frothed when it goes... There's always talk about things like that.

All the mum groups, they find a vacuum cleaner and they're like, this is better than a Dyson. Yeah. Or there was that kids vacuum cleaner that actually worked. People were like, it's a great vacuum. Then you're fair enough if it works. Why spend like $1,000 or $500 on a coffee machine or an appliance when you can get it for $70. So there's no $9 one scored higher than DeLonghi Miele.

Miele. M-I-E-L-E. You've definitely said that. Miele. Miele. Miele. Miele. Miele.

Yeah. And Breville. It scored higher than all of those. So, and it goes, and it's things like this, it goes crazy and everybody's like, whoa. I didn't know this, but in this article I've been reading about is when the Invercargill Kmart store opened,

people slept outside. Was that last year? Yeah, last November. Yeah. Just to be first in. Southland is so keen. Just to be first in, yeah. Yeah.

So what, this article goes into the cult that is. Yeah, the cult of Kmart. We've be first in. Southwood is so keen. Just to be first in, yeah. Yeah. So what, this article goes into the cult that is. Yeah, the cult of Kmart. We've all been there. Well, I've got the top six signs that you may be in it. Okay, the cult of Kmart. Number six on the list of the top six signs you're in the cult of Kmart. You can pick out any Kmart items when you're watching like a renovation show, like the block.

Yeah. That's from Kmart. That's from Kmart. That's from Kmart. That was $ Kmart. That's from Kmart. That was $9.99 at Kmart. You can just pick them all out. You know. It's a sign that you're in the cult.

Number five on the list of the top six signs you're in the cult at Kmart. You get into heated arguments with other people in your Kmart-related Facebook group. Being in a Kmart-related Facebook group, that's probably just a sign in itself. But if you really get into a heated argument, that's a sure sign that you're right on in there. Number four on the list of the top six signs you're in the cold at Kmart.

You immediately hiss uncontrollably when someone mentions a goodbye at Farmers. Did you see that? Farmers. Red dots. Fist bump. Did you see that farm? It was a... Red dot... Number three on the list of the top six signs you're in the cult of Kmart. You've attempted at least three Kmart hacks before realising they look horrendous. Yeah. They're like... They always look better online, don't they?

For me, yeah. I've seen... I've watched a couple of videos. I don't know how I got into this algorithm. Yeah. On YouTube of IKEA hacks. Those are interesting. Yeah.

You buy like a desk with slide-out drawers and you do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. And then it's a go-kart or something. What? With a bed in it. Yeah. Yeah. A go-kart bed desk. A go-kart bed.

Okay. With a plant holder. Yeah. That go-kart bed desk. A go-kart bed. Okay. With a plant holder. That's weird. Number two on the list of the top six signs you're in the cult of Kmart. This is an actual sign of being in a cult. There's no financial transparency. So if you're not allowed to know what the group does with their money, you're probably in a cult.

Yeah, right. But in this situation, if you're squirreling cash or getting money out of the supermarket so you can shop at Kmart without leaving an FPOS trail, you're probably in the cult of Kmart. And number one on the list of the toxic signs you're in the cult of Kmart, you've made an actual human sacrifice of a loved one in the Homeways department. That's what it's gone a bit.

It's gone a bit far. But at least there's more space in the car ride home for your Kmart stuff. Oh my God, so many purchases now that you've got rid of that cumbersome baby seat. That's today's top six. I hope I'm not the only one. I didn't sing. No, I know. That's why I was eyeballing you.

Megan and I just rolled our eyes. Oh, yeah. You missed your chance to sing. Yeah, no, that's fine. You're away with the fairies. Yeah. I was thinking. You're in La La Land.

What were you thinking about? You're in La La Land there. I was thinking about pumpkins for a little bit. I'm sorry we asked. But also I thought about woodpeckers, and then woodpeckers always make me think about cuckoos. What? That's just a slight moment inside Vaughan Smith's mind.

Forget we even asked. Mika joins us this morning. Good morning, Mika. Good morning. Now, I hope I'm not the only one. It's a segment of the show where we take somebody's habit, something they think they're the only one doing it. Unless you have never come into contact with anyone else.

No, you've never found anyone else that does this. No, I haven't. Okay. What is it that you believe you are the only person that does this thing? I'm not the only one who eats the entire apple, including the core. What about the little stick?

Do you really think I eat sticks? Well, that's part of the apple. But not all of them have a little stick. Okay, so you don't eat the stick? No, I don't eat sticks. Do you eat the sticker? They're technically edible.

Sometimes you forget that there's a sticker on there and you'll eat an apple and then you'll be like, oh shit, that sticker. Where'd that sticker go? Mika, I can tell you straight away off the bat, you are not the only one. Every single morning when I'm driving to work, I eat an apple on my drive to work and

I eat the entire apple. Seeds, core. Oh wow. What about the seeds? Yeah, everything. The whole shebang. And, wow. Do you? So, okay. What about the seeds? Yeah, all, everything. The whole shebang. And then I throw the little stick out the window.

When I eat an apple, you eat around the core. Same. Would you eat around the core and then eat the core? Yeah. Or do you just, like, consume the core

with each bite? Maker? I don't, there's, like, no core. Like, so you just, like, keep eating from one side to the other and the core doesn't exist.

But then does the bottom fall off or do you just kind of like eat it from the bottom up? No, like sideways. Because sometimes I'll eat it from the bottom up. Just like, spinning it in my mouth and eating it from the bottom up so I get a bit of the core rather than at the end having to eat all the core at once

because then you've got to leave a lot of flesh around the core so it's not too gory. The core's where the little bugs go and sleep. I know because sometimes you get into the corner and you're like, oh, the core's...

I know, you're like man-cared. They put me off nectarines for years. I bit into a nectarine and the... Colonel? What's it called? Pipstone, whatever. Yeah.

Came open and there was airwigs inside. And then I couldn't eat nectarines for years when I was a kid because of that. And that time you ate into a peach and there was a small boy called James inside it. I know, and I killed his friend, the caterpillar. I really... I was like, I'm so sorry. You've killed my friend.

All right, so we want to know right now, 0800 DARS at M, is Mika and Vaud, are Mika and Vaud the only two people that eat the entire apple? And Mika, how often and sick of hearing, the pips have got cyanide in them? How many times? Oh, my God. I've never heard that before.

Have you not? Oh, my God. If anyone ever sees me eat a whole apple, the pips have got cyanide in them. Everything's got trace amounts of cyanide in it. Oh, so you're not denying it has cyanide. Oh yeah. I'm spraying it from nosing myself to cyanide.

So if someone cyanide poisons me one day, I'll be like, your poison does nothing. We'll just have to do a double dose on you. All right, 0800-DARZATM. You can text through 9696. A maker in Vaughan alone is there anybody else listening that eats the entire apple,

core and all. I hope I'm not the only one. Beautiful. Vaughan Smith and Sam Smith there. Remember there? Yeah. Smith duet. And it is our segment,

I hope I'm not the only one. And maker said, I ate the whole apple core and I hope I'm not the only one. And Mika said, I ate the whole apple core. And I hope I'm the only one. And I said, you will for a start. You're not because I do the same thing. You're both manky. And we have had so many text messages in from people who do the same thing.

And we've had lots of calls as well. Yeah, Michaela, you do this as well? Yep. Not the stick though. What are the origins of you eating the whole apple? Wait, what was that? Sorry? What are the origins?

Because most people who are messaging in have an origin story of why they started doing it and developed the habit of just eating the whole apple. Probably just because I just thought it was a waste throwing away this round core. And I was like, there's so much more apple left to go. Yes. Yeah, but I just get in there and just do little nibbles right up into the seeds and then just chuck it out. Oh, no, I eat the seeds as well.

Oh, yuck. But aren't you scared that a tree's going to grow on your stomach? My Nana's saying, you know, that's always in the back of my mind, but I sometimes, like, I might throw out a few pips if there's, like, one too many. You don't overindulge in pips, Michaela. You're like, oh, no.

Hold on. That's a ninth pip. That can't. And it's too many for one day. Thanks, you called Michaela. Don't overdo it, Michaela. You're treating yourself. Sean, you eat the whole apple and the core. Yeah, sure do, mate. Always have since I was at school. Right.

Is it because you didn't know where to put it? You were just like, well, I better eat the whole thing. No, school never had enough rubbish bins. So if you're on the other side of the field and you're halfway through your apple and you go, if I throw it, I'm going to get in the crap. So I might as well eat it. That's a tiny Kiwi attitude, though. Yeah, I would have chucked it over a fence.

Most people would have. That's why I eat the wife's core as well. Because when we're in the car, I can see her. She'll look out the wing mirror, and she's got the apple core in her hand. I'm like, don't do it. Don't do it. Give it to me. Does your wife...

It is. Yeah, my wife can't clean an apple core properly either. She doesn't eat right down to the essence of the apple. Oh, she's wasteful. So wasteful. There's always so much left on the end. I know.

It's like a whole other apple when you get to eat the core. Oh, wow, Sean. Thanks, you call. Some text messages. My mum used to give me an apple as I went to bed and I'd get in trouble

for putting the core under my bed or beside my bed so I started eating the whole thing so I never had to get out of bed again. You clean your teeth and then go to bed. Is that post-teeth brush or?

How are the teeth? Because that's a lot of sugar every night. And all day keeps the doctor away. I know, but like right before bed? Like as you're in bed? Best time to remind yourself not to let the doctor pop in. Okay. Wow.

And so what they, because they were in bed with an apple They couldn't leave the core anywhere They couldn't be bothered with getting out of bed So they just ate the whole apple So they didn't get in trouble for leaving it under the bed Or on the side of the bed Because the little stick Obviously that's easier to clean up

Yeah right Sammy you work for Big Apple Yeah I work in the apple industry Morning guys how are you? Good morning Good morning Sammy oh gosh man We love apples here

The whole apple The whole apple Sammy How are you? Good morning. Good morning. Sammy, oh, gosh, man. We love apples here. The whole apple. The whole apple, Sammy. Can I just scare the heck out of everyone? Hey, that's where all the bugs live. That's what I said, Sammy. I said the bugs live in the middle. That is 100% true. So I do not eat the apple core, but you can carry on.

Sammy, you and Big Apple start getting the bugs out of the core. That's nature. Okay, I'll give it a go. It's nature. I haven't come, I remember as a kid, Granny Smith had a bug in the middle, but I don't eat Granny Smiths anyway. That's a baking apple. I've had stone fruit with the bugs.

Granny Smith, you're an animal. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sammy, 100% agree. Seeing as you work in the apple industry, what's your favourite apple? Oh, that's a really good question. Do you want to know mine, Sammy? Sammy, your job's on the line, by the way. Sammy, mine's Pacific Rose.

No big deal. A Pacific Rose. Mine would be a slow second, but I do love a Posy or a Dazzle apple. Okay. A what? A Posy or a Dazzle. A Dazzle? What's a Dazzle?

I've got a Jazz, but not a Dazzle. A Bud Dazzle. No, a Dazzle. Like a, wow, that's dazzling. A jazzle? What's a jazzle? I've got a jazz but not a jazzle. A buzz jazzle. No, a jazzle. Like a, wow, that's dazzling. A dazzle. I've never heard of a dazzle apple.

A jazzle. You've got to try it. Hopefully, you'll see it around the supermarket next season. Is it a new apple? Yeah,

it is kind of new. Okay, come on. We've got apple insights. Yeah, coming around here. Big apple, come in with your apple. Most people haven't tried it. Oh, it's kind of yes. Oh, okay. We got apple insights. Yeah, coming around here. Big apple, come in with your apple. Most people haven't tried it.

Oh, it's my favourite apple. Do you know Megan's favourite apple is a Granny Smith. No, it's not. It's a sweet. It's a red delicious. Sweet tango. Yeah, it's a gala. She likes a flowery gala.

Do people still eat Braeburn apples? Because they were yuck. People do still eat them for sure. That's more, I mean, you've got to have an acquired taste.

It's a boomer's apple. It's a boomer's apple. It was a red apple. It was a red apple that came on the market and they were like, oh, red apples. What will the 1970s

hold for us next? What an amazing apple insight. Thanks, Sammy. I can honestly talk about apples for a long time. There's so many. Mika, we started with you. You eat the whole apple and the core. Is it good to know that you're not alone now?

Yeah, I'm officially not a weirdo. Thanks, guys. Well, I mean, you're still a weirdo. What's your favourite apple? I don't know what the name is, but it's got little red bits in the whole apple. Throughout the flesh of the apple? Yeah.

Wait, wait, wait there. Wait, wait, wait. Sammy is still there? Oh, my gosh. Now you're really testing me. Come on, Sammy. Do you want this job or not? Throughout the middle?

I mean, I thought I knew, but hey, she's telling the story, so. Is it not your gums bleeding when you're biting it? No, no. I'm going to send you a short. It's too hard, but. Minky, can you send us a photo of this apple? Oh, yeah, next time I'm eating one and I find one. I've already had your apple for the day.

Have you had your apple for the day? Oh, yeah. I don't know the specific brand, and I don't buy the groceries, so I guess it's a luck thing. Thank you so much, Sammy and Minky, if you've just tuned in. It's Apple Chat. It's Apple Chat. Next on the show, next on the show.

Yesterday we heard from – What about those yellow and those Fuji apples? They were pretty good. No, that's Apple Chat. Apple Chat. Next on the show, next on the show, yesterday we heard from... What about those yellow and those Fuji apples? They were pretty good. No, that's a pear. That's a pear. No, no, no. Sammy, there was like

a yellowy apple. I believe it was Japanese of origin. I'm not 100% sure, but I know that there's a Golden Delicious and that's yellow. Yeah, that's a yellow,

but I feel it was a Fuji apple, Sam. And a Fuji's really popular in Asia, so yeah. yellow. Yeah, that's yellow, but I feel it was a Fuji apple, Seth. And a Fuji's really popular in Asia, so yeah. Yes, yep. You're on the right track. What's your thought on a Nashi? Because it's more like an apple than it is a pear, in my

opinion. It's really pushing the boundaries. It should fall under the umbrella of an apple. Okay. Anyway, thank you so much. We're next on the show. Sammy, wait there, mate. I want to talk more about apples. Okay, good.

She's not going anywhere. All right, next on the show, we heard yesterday from Helen Clark, who was on the side of the yes to legalising marijuana. Yeah, you can smoke that through an apple. Stop. You actually, I won't tell you how, but I'll tell you what, if it's made legal, I'll tell you how. Flesh, Vaugh't tell you how, but I'll tell you what, if it's made legal, I'll tell you how.

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Many people have voted early. Voting numbers, I will correct myself, I incorrectly said before, early voting numbers. Exceed. Exceeded total voting numbers last time. Total early voting numbers last time.

Yeah, a lot of people early voting. So not only do you have to decide which political party, you have to decide on the two referendum. That is the end-of-life choice bill and the legalised cannabis bill. We heard from Helen Clark yesterday on the side of years to the legalising of cannabis. And joining us on the phone, Dr Mary Daly, who's given us permission to just call her Mary, which is nice.

That makes me feel at home and in practice. Yep. A little less worried about the fact she's about to see my genitals. I found that that really works. Right? Take away the professional title at the front. I'm dropping my pants a little easier. Just to Mary, not to Dr. Mary.

All right, Mary. Make what you will of this. Oh, my God. First of all, let's Dr. Mary. Oh, exactly. All right, Mary, make what you will of this. Oh, my God. First of all, let's get some background. How long have you been a doctor? Do you specialise in something, a GP? I'm an old bag. I've been a doctor for over 30 years.

I've been a GP in Papakura, South Auckland, for all that time. Yeah, so, and I'm a mum, I've got four kids. You were adopted before you could just Google what was wrong with someone. I know, I know. I struggle now when people bring in the sheets of paper and sort of want to have a sort of a very long discussion about all their ails. You know, they've Googled it and they've researched it. Yeah, done the whole lot.

They don't print it out and bring it in for you. So, Mary, I've got cancer. Google's told me I've got cancer. Oh, my God. That's nuts. So, I've come for a second opinion. They don't print it out and bring it in for you. So Mary, I've got cancer. Google's told me I've got cancer. That's nuts. So I've come for a second opinion. My first opinion was Google. Wow. So why are you on Team No? Obviously you've seen

a lot of reasons why over the years. Yeah, look, I think there's two things. One, I think marijuana's a harmful drug. I mean, there's a kind of a common thing that it's out there that it's fine, it's okay. It's not. And we see it in our practice all the time. The devastation it causes, particularly with mental health for young people,

suicidal thoughts, lack of motivation, depression, that's the kind of stuff that we see on a daily basis. And there is a very common theme around that, and that's regular marijuana use. And, you know, as a GP, it breaks my heart because you see all these amazing young people whose motivation, creativity has been sapped out of them because every day they're smoking dope.

I've got patients who that's the only way they can get to sleep. They have to smoke dope every night. When they have a bit of a time off it, they feel so much better. They feel energetic. Their mind clears. Their depression lifts. But, you know, it hooks them in. I mean, that's the other fantasy.

You know, marijuana isn't addictive. Well, it is. You know, we see it every day. But, you know, that's the other fantasy. You know, marijuana isn't addictive. Well, it is. You know, we see it every day. But, you know, that's the stuff that I just see. Not that I'm not disagreeing with you because I've seen that too, Mary. But in terms of legalising, do you think there'll be more regulation then? Because this problem is already happening. Yeah, well, look, it's a fantasy.

I mean, that's the other side of it, is that we know that there are harms with marijuana that's doing a lot of damage in our world today. And the thought is, if we legalise it, we're going to improve that. But we can look, we're in a wonderful position in New Zealand. We can look at what's going on in the rest of the world where they have legalised it. And we can see, have the harms reduced? And the simple answer is no.

You name a harm with marijuana and it's increased. If you look at the states in the United States, it's illegal, Colorado. If you look at even the early stages of Canada, Uruguay, where it's been legal for ages. Attendances at emergency departments have gone up. Episodes of psychosis have increased. Incidents of schizophrenia, which is,

you know, I didn't even go there, but it's kind of like every week we get reports from psychiatrists of our patients who have been smoking dope and they've had two or three psychotic episodes and the next thing it's become chronic and they're schizophrenic. All of those harms have increased, workplace accidents. And the other kind of fantasy that's put out there by the pro people is that gangs are going to get out of it. There's going to be a reduced illegal market. That's not borne out either. In California, the illegal suppliers outsell the legal three to one. In Uruguay, 70% of users still buy from illegal suppliers. And why? Because they can undercut. They're not going to sort of bow out because it's become illegal.

Again, that's a fantasy. And we in New Zealand can look at that stuff and say, look, why shouldn't we, we should sit back and think, is legalising going to reduce the harms of marijuana? And I don't think it will. There are other things that maybe will, but it's not legalising the drug. Do you think legalising it would get more education out there about the effects of it? Oh, I don't think, it should be

happening now, and it is happening now. I think that's a fantasy that somehow legalising it is going to suddenly produce a whole lot of stuff in newspapers or whatever. Where's the evidence that that's going to happen? I don't believe so. I mean, one of the arguments is that the tax take from the marijuana market is going to enable to fund better drug rehab for people.

But that's not even played out. If we look overseas, and there's plenty of data out there, the tax take in California was under 50% of what it actually turned out to be. And the legislators are scrambling to try to know how to, you know, control this stuff. You know, little legal dispensaries are in a community and little pop-up shop illegal ones are coming up next door. So, you know, they're scrambling to try and sort all that stuff out. You know, I think it's a very simplistic thing in my point of view. It's a thing that's made up by

ideologists and academics who don't see what's going on at the coalface. You know, it's all theoretical stuff, yet the data's there to say this is actually a bad idea. It will be a really bad thing for our country to legalise. What about along those lines then, kind of, and this is what I've thought with a lot of argument, is that you could just be describing booze. Oh, well, you know, exactly. You know, that's the old sort of, you know, argument that's used, you know, prohibition was bad.

They're two different beasties, you know, alcohol and marijuana. I mean, for, you know, just for a couple of examples, say, there is some studies that have shown that young people who binge drink as opposed to young people who binge marijuana, the drinkers are more likely to finish their high school education and go on to tertiary education and have a fulfilling life than the binge marijuana users. So that's one thing.

The other thing is that, simple thing, there are simple roadside tests for if you're over the limit with alcohol. There isn't that available yet in a reliable way for marijuana. And what we do know is that every country where it's legalised, the use of marijuana has increased, and there's been increased numbers of people who are driving under the influence, you know, and the cops can't test for that at the moment.

It's just not existing. So, you know, it's an experiment with our people that I think is irrational. We should sit back, look at what's going on and say, look, we'll re-look at things, but don't rush into anything now. Wow. Well, it's fascinating to hear your side of the argument we heard from Helen Clark yesterday.

And there we go. It's not our job to decide for you. Is it listening? Everybody gets to decide. That's how democracy works. Democracy. Thanks for your time this morning. Yeah, really appreciate it.

Really appreciate it. No worries. Have a great day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Do you guys remember travel? When you'd get on one of those jet planes and fly to another foreign country? Yes. It's vague.

It's in there, isn't it? The memories? Yes, yeah. You know, when we flew to Christchurch, I forgot what I was doing. I forgot where to scan your barcode and stuff. I was like, wow, it's been so long. Even just flying to Christchurch, I forgot what I was doing. I forgot where to scan your barcode and stuff. I was like, wow, it's been so long. Even just flying to Christchurch was fun, eh? Yeah.

It's like, yeah. Whee! I didn't want to sit in the emergency aisle, though, because I just felt like this year's probably got a couple of curveballs left. I don't want to have to open the door. Even for the extra leg room. Well, there is one man. He's a Japanese tourist.

He has been stranded in Peru when they shut down in mid-March. Now, it was his dream. This was on my bucket list this year to finally get to Machu Picchu in August. Yeah. Well, my parents are supposed to go to Machu Picchu this year too. Had flights booked and everything, but, you know, COVID. He has stayed in Peru. He's in a little town by Machu Picchu, which is, you know, World Heritage Site.

You'll all be familiar with your friends' photos who have been before. Yeah. And he has been there since mid-March, his dream to get to Machu Picchu. And South America has been absolutely ravaged by COVID. So I don't know if he was stuck with absolutely no way to get home or he's just like, you know what? I'll wait this out. But it has absolutely paid off because, as you'll know, any friends that have gone, what is the one problem with photos

of Machu Picchu? Everyone's there crowding your photos. Yes. Yes. I was going to say clouds. It's very high. And apparently getting a good photo with no clouds is a very rare feat. But it's also, it's not only the clouds, it's the people.

Because it's always packed. Right. But that's like blaming the traffic jam on all the other traffic. Yeah, I mean, you can Photoshop. I guess you can Photoshop other people out. You can get someone to do that. Yeah. Or maybe take a photo in a way that makes it look like less people are there.

But over the weekend, the Peruvian government opened Machu Picchu just for him. Look at the photo. Why? Why? Why? I think they were just I don't know. Someone had to go out there and unlock the gate to Machu Picchu. So he's posted a photo on his Instagram account showing him there

with a guide. And yeah the first person on earth, it's captioned the first person on earth who went to Machu Picchu after lockdown. I don't know if it's a way for the Peruvian government to get a bit of publicity to say, hey, look, maybe we're reopening this soon. It's not gone anywhere.

Yeah, yeah. It's still there. Crazy, eh? Also, he gets some good photos, did he? Oh, great photos. Like, look, just him. Literally, it's a fine day, no clouds. He's the only one there.

I would have jumped the guide. I would have gone. Maybe there's another photo with the guide not in the photo. Crop the guide out. Crop the guide out. But yeah, some incredible photos. Him on top with his arms spread open. Oh, that's a good one.

No guide. And a beautiful day. Like that is every tourist's dream is to get a photo like that at a landmark with zero people there. Apparently he just pleaded with the mayor and then the mayor asked the government and the government were like, okay. Literally what's always going to happen. Yeah. Flesh, fauna, Megan.

The podcast. ZM. Hey, you on the phone, I bet I can guess your mum's name. We welcome to I bet I can guess your mum's name. Hannah, good morning. Good morning. All right, so this is how I Bet I Can Guess Your Mum's Name works.

Vaughan's going to ask you five questions about your mum and then has 15 seconds to try and guess her name for you to win $100 cash. Position. Position. P-O-S-S-E-S-S-I-O-N? Yeah, why does that matter? You'll find out.

It's a question, is it? Okay. Yeah. All right, question one. Does your mum share a name with someone famous? Does it immediately pop to mind that mum's name is also the name of someone famous? Not that I can think of. Okay.

Okay, okay. What are your mums? Does your mum have siblings? And if so, what are their names? Siblings are Charlene and Tony. Charlene and Tony. Tony. Oh, that's a couple of good parent names as well, isn't it?

Yeah, that's a real. That gives you a sense though, doesn't it, of the time? Gives me a feeling of the family. I'm saying, I'm saying Perms You're saying, right I'm saying perms Because your mum Christine had a perm, eh?

Still does But back in the day it was a really good perm Oh, a really great perm Sort of a perm mullet situation She looked like Deirdre off Horror She did Because she had big glasses as well She looked a fair bit like Deirdre off on her own. She did. Because she had big glasses as well.

She looked a fair bit like Deirdre. Okay. Who's mum voting for this weekend, do you reckon? I actually have no idea, to be honest. Really? Is it not something your family discuss? No, we haven't actually discussed it at all, to be honest. Even growing up, like, Mum and Dad wouldn't yell at politicians on the TV and give you an idea?

No, actually. I don't actually know if Mum has voted before, to be honest, as bad as it sounds. Oh, wow. Okay. So very apolitical. Right. Well, it's not like women have been able to vote for very long in New Zealand.

Only the longest anywhere. It's hard to get there. Yeah. Oh, wow. We'll let Dad do the talking. Yeah. Who's Mum's favourite musician? Does Mum have, like, a favourite band or a favourite musician?

Bon Jovi. Oh! See how I can see. You were right. Yeah. Bon Jovi. Wow, okay. Okay, interesting.

And can you think of Mum's, this is my last question, one of or mum's most prized possession? Oh, probably her crafting machines, to be honest. Crafting machines? Tell us more about it. Crafting machines. Yeah. What do they do?

What's a crafting machine? No, not like that. She makes personalised gifts. Oh, okay. Yeah. What like? Like bedazzled things? Like cushions? No, like personalised cups

and t-shirts and stuff like that. Okay. Like screen printing craft machines. Yeah, Ishirts and stuff like that. Okay. So she's got like screen printing craft machines, kind of. Yeah, I guess you could say that, yeah. Wow. Wow. How fascinating. Does she do it, because you know how boomers love a cat T-shirt?

Does she do her own cat T-shirts? No, she's got a dog person. Oh, does she do her own dog T-shirts? Oh, you got one for free there. No, dog person. Yeah, okay, all right, that's a free one. All right, well, Hannah, if you hear Vaughn say your mum's name, say stop.

Say stop, that's my mum's name. Vaughn, you now have 15 seconds to guess Hannah's mum's name. Your time starts now. Catherine, Mary, Denise, Robin, Jane, Tracy, Jennifer, Leanne Elizabeth Wendy Jacqueline Angela Julie Donna

Debbie Tracy Yeah, stop it. My mum's name. Yay! Which one? No, Gibby. Gibby!

I've been asking Gibby who would fit into most of those as well. Debs loves his screen printing and gift making. Debs is just living on a prayer. Loves Bon Jovi, has a perm. Does she have a perm, Hannah? No.

Yes, actually she does. Yes, all right. Now we're into the bonus round. Bon gets one guess of your dad's name. Bonus round. While you were on guess of your dad's name. The bonus round. While you were on the phone, I'll have a go at guessing your dad's name. Debbie and who is it? Debbie and Steve.

Someone say, oh, the long-suffering. Rolls off the tongue there. Why is he long-suffering? No, you wouldn't go Dave and Debbie, would you? Would there be a Dave and a Debbie? Surely. A Dave and a Debbie, a double D? Do they call them double D?

Andy. Or is it more of a? Steve. Steve. Okay, you lock one in. Warren, Wayne. Tony. That's her son's name. What?

That's her son's name. That's Debbie's son's name. We don't know Debbie's son's name. Oh, no, that's her brother's name. Wasn't there a Tony? Oh, that's why it was in my head. But could you marry someone with the same name as your brother? I mean, you could.

But did Debbie? Did Debbie do it? Not getting any clues from Hannah as well. She's a closed book. Well, if you can guess her dad's name, it's a bonus $100 cash. I've just been told by executive intern Anya, she's found some cash. Oh.

What are you locking in, Vaughn? Tony. Hannah, what's your dad's name? Well, Jimmy did do it. It is Tony. How the hell did you guess that? I can't believe it. How did you do that?

How did you know? No, because Tony was in my head from her brother, and I completely forgot. And then it was just pure laziness that paid off because I couldn't be bothered thinking of another name. Hannah's sitting there like, oh, my God. Hannah, you've just won. I didn't think it was going to happen. Because your parents are called Debbie. Hannah, you've just won. I didn't think it was going to happen.

Because your parents are called Debbie and Tony, you've just won $200. Oh my God, thank you. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Some funny pictures have come out of a little girl. So she was in the house. Her brother, her little brother opened the baby gate. Yep. So she was out and went straight

into the parents bathroom. That's where she found. You must be warned. Children when you have little Lorenz he'll probably be heading straight for Mr Toyboy's perfume he wants to smell his best. Or he'll grab the Audi and try to get to Gucci. The Audi?

Yeah. She's got the Audi. The neighbours know. The neighbours Audi. He'll be smelling it. Get to Louis Vuitton. Stinking of Jean Paul Gaultier pulling into the Gucci store. I'll be like, open up, bitches. It's 8am, we're not open yet.

I said open up, I'm going to rent, dammit. They just get into cupboards. Yeah. I love it. And then you've got to ugly up your into cupboards Yeah I love it And then you've got to Ugly up your nice cupboards With those Stick

Those things that you stick on With the thing To stop your kids Opening the cupboard You've got to do all that Yay So Maisie Yeah

Like my electrical sockets At my house You can see them Yeah I could like poke them If I wanted to Stick a fork in there If you wanted to

I could You've always got to have Those plastic coverings You've got to get off every time. Yeah. So Maisie snuck into her parents' bathroom, unnoticed, and was gone a minute. That's when she got her hands on some hair removal cream.

And Maisie has, like, a full head of hair to her shoulders, and she managed to smear the hair removal cream from her forehead to kind of halfway back. She looks like a balding like accountant in his 30s that's not ready to shave his head. Oh no!

No, the joke is that Halloween's just around the corner and everyone's like that's a baby Pennywise. Or Truckee. She looks like Truckee. Oh my God, that's brilliant. She doesn't look upset by it.

She's smiling. They're lucky they got that in time because that's a pillatory cream. If you leave that on for too long, my nipples will tell you. And didn't you sell my scrote? And my butthole. The whole hairy, everything that had hair got a beating. If you leave that on for too long, it'll burn through.

It doesn't say what brand but that's a smooth finish. Like that's a glowing endorsement for the hair removal cream. They must have got it pretty quick. Want to remove a foot of hair at a time? Veet. Maybe she thought she was shampooing. I don't know.

But we'd love to talk this morning about when you got into your parents' products. In the bathroom. Right, and you didn't have to be a toddler. You could have been like, I don't know, just a small child. I was five and I borrowed mum's razor. This isn't going where you think it is. It's not grim. I didn't cut myself amazingly, but I shaved my legs.

At five? Yeah, mum and dad were having a party. That's what mum does before she went out. Yeah. So I shaved my legs with her razor. Dad was very unhappy. God, you were lucky you didn't do some damage. I did a great job.

Well done. Thank you. And then you had like as a six-year-old stubbly legs. Great. Brilliant. We just, well, I grew up on a dairy farm, so there was always like mysterious items at the cow shed. Oh, yeah.

I always remember there was a large industrial-sized bucket of lubricant. For every thing under the sun. Like, there's always a lot of lubricant at the cow shed. Like, Vas or KY. It was more like Vas. It was more like Vaseline. Right.

Like, the sticky, tacky stuff. Right. But here, you'd touch it, and you're like, that feels good. What was Ian doing in the cow shed? All manner of things relating to dairy farming not filthy.

You can't... What time is it? Yeah, just quick note. You can't play with yourself if that's the way. Oh no, absolutely not. It's not the 1930s. There's no need for it.

There's suitable products out there. Yes, understandable. But you just can't. Yeah. it's not the 1930s. There's no need for it. There's suitable products out there. Yes, understandable. You just can't. Yeah. It's mission impossible. So we want to know, so you as kids, you just smeared it all over yourself.

We'd touch it and we'd be like, man, that feels funny. What would it feel like if we put our whole hands in it? Whole hand. That's amazing. What would it feel like all over our faces?

Wow. And it's so hard to get off. Yeah, you'd need like some hot baths or some hot showers. So a kid's gone viral because he used the hair removal cream on his head. Her head. Her, her head. She looks like. Oh, look, I'm just surprised you didn't say its head.

Its head. What looks like it. It does look like Pennywise. It looks like Pennywise. Yeah. Pretty hilarious. So it's got us asking the question this morning, what did you get into as a kid, into your mum and dad's stuff?

And wow, there are some like pretty funny stories, but also some pretty like near death, like poisons kind of story. Yeah. Somebody said, I also grew up on a farm with a milking shed. I snuck into the medicine cupboard, which was high, but I climbed up the wall and managed to get into the medicine cupboard. And there was these big pink pills.

I actually remember the big pink pills. They were for calves when calves have scours, like runs. Oh, yeah. You've got to give them the pill because they can dehydrate themselves and die. And you had to get the pink pill and put it in this thing and put it down their throat and clink it. But the pink pill always looked so yum. I remember as a kid saying it, I'd be like,

oh damn, that looks yum. So this kid ate two. But these big ones like lollies. And then didn't poo for like four weeks. Or the parents had to call the poison line when they were four. Wow. Imagine if you had to call it poison line. Are they non-judgmental?

Because I feel like I'd give a... You did what? What happened? How? You let your kid eat a bottle of Roundup. I like to think they save the judgment for after they've helped them out. Yeah, right, okay. Sinead, what did you get into as a kid?

So I got into the cupboard and managed to find a box of my mum's tampons. Wow, okay. And what did you do with those? I decided that'd be pretty cool to suck on. to find a box of my mum's tampons. Wow, okay. And what did you do with those? I decided they'd be pretty cool to suck on. Oh. Yes. Oh.

Oh, okay. So they were the ones with the applicators, so I managed to take off all the wrapping and the cardboard and my mum's got some cool pictures of me with tampons in my mouth. Which I'm sure she loves to pull out every time to embarrass you with new friends fantastic uh thanks today uh shannon what did you get into as a kid hi uh my mum left me on my own and i found her contraceptive pills and ate half a pack. Oh, wow. Okay. What does that do? Apparently nothing. She called the doctors and they didn't even care.

Oh. Okay. Right, so no side effects or anything. You were fine. Oh, no. I've got a kid, so that's a problem. Okay. So it's not hard.

They did their job then, there, and lasted for a lifetime. Yeah, thanks, Shannon. Sheila, your son's got into something of yours. Oh, I was clearly a very inattentive mother because there was numerous occasions. He managed to get into a packet of sanitary pads. He put one in his pyjamas. And so he'd obviously been watching.

And the rest he stuck all over the bathroom tiles. And then I also caught him with a bottle of nail polish painting all around his nipples. Oh, my God. It's like painting the areoles. Well, it looked like, honest to God, it looked like his nipples had sunglasses on or something. But it's obviously a precursor

because he's absolutely smothered in tattoos now. Oh, you got a taste for it. That is nice. Brilliant. Sheila, thanks. You called some text messages. Someone said, I nail polished my cousin's lips. I thought it was lipstick, but it wasn't.

It was nail polish. My brother went into my auntie's cupboard. She has allergies, so she's got adrenaline pens. Oh, yeah. Okay. And shot an injection of adrenaline into his arm when he was playing. Oh my god.

She just like turned into the incredible Hulk. And he just... Pumping with adrenaline. Geez, a kid on an adult size does with adrenaline. That's gotta be... And also those needles are scary. You don't see them when they're just going straight into your arm. I lived on a dairy farm, too, where we had tail paint.

So that's where you paint the back of the cow, and then you can find out when other cows have been riding on them, and they're on heat, and they're ready for artificial insemination just to bring you up to speed. What? Wow. Who knew? Because they smudge the paint.

Well, they rub it off. And then you're like, oh, they've rubbed off the paint. Imagine if that's how humans did it. Yeah, you'd know you'd been dry humped because your tail paint's been rubbed off. You'd be like, how did that paint get? So I painted my sister's entire face with it. It took four and a half days to come off. She was cleaned a lot.

Wow. When I was three, my dad let me in their bathroom. I found dad's razor and shaved off one eyebrow. Wow. When I was three, my dad let me in their bathroom. I found dad's razor and shaved off one eyebrow. Somebody else said that they were watching their son, but they had a job interview on the phone, so they made sure he was in the room. They started the job

interview, and they were gone for three minutes. They were pretty sure the door was shut the whole time, but then at the end of the three minutes, they turned around in the end of the hallway and their son was standing there with a golf club covered in turquoise paint with a

I don't know what's happened look on my face and then they walked outside and the whole backyard was covered in turquoise paint it was just paint everywhere

you can only laugh they knew that it was only three minutes because they checked their phone and that's how long the call had gone for wow

is this scaring you, Megan? A little bit. Do I have to have it on a leash? People scoff at the leash, but they're good stuff. Just get away so fast. You went on a leash and you fell off a wolf? I fell off a wolf, yeah. I might not be here if it wasn't for the leash.

I had a nephew who was on a leash a lot. He wouldn't be here if it wasn't for the leash. Leashes save lives. Get your kid on a leash. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The Podcast. ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, circle.

It's where you put your pointy finger, index finger, and your thumb, you form a circle, and the other three fingers are just hanging. Okay. This got a bit of heat. Do you remember the heat a couple of years ago? People were like, it's white power. It got a bit of heat. Do you remember a few couple of years ago people were like it's white power. It's a way of letting other white power

people know. Recently with Trump yeah there's been a lot of talk about that with Trump rallies and stuff. It's just your fingers look like a W. And then the circle of that

if you do it with the right hand looks like a P. I don't want to give that up to white power. No. Because it's also that thing when you flip it upside down and you're like look and someone looks and then you're allowed to punch them. But if power. No. Because it's also that thing when you flip it upside down and you're like, look, and someone looks

and then you're allowed to punch them. But if they put their finger through it, then they can punch you. Then they can punch you, yeah, classic. If they do the classic dive and break, then you're allowed to, then they're allowed to punch you. This isn't, this won't stand up in a court of law, by the way. No. Your Honour, I punched him because he

looked at the fingers with that. And then the judge looks and then you get to punch them. I thought you meant, yeah, you were in the dock and you just held that down by your, and the judge looks. He's like, ha, punch. I get to punch. So it has lots of other meanings as well. Throughout history, it appeared, go on.

Isn't that like one for diving too when you're diving? That means I'm okay. Yes, definitely. In scuba diving, it's a sign one for diving too when you're diving? That means I'm okay. Yes, yes, definitely. In scuba diving, it's a sign to let other people know you're okay. Yeah, yeah. If you were, you and I were scuba diving, I'd be like, okay. Scuba diving. If we were scuba diving.

If we were scuba diving. If we were scuba diving. If we were scuba diving, and we were scuba diving, I would be like, okay. And I don't know. So I'm questioning and then you do it back saying you're also okay. I've got this cute little whiteboard that goes on the fridge with a felt so I can remember what to get for groceries. So I'll just take that underwater.

The felt won't work. Are you sure? They would have tried it. But it's also much quicker. Vivid. Aren't they waterproof? They're waterproof. Super sharpie. Super vivid. This is okay. Aren't they waterproof? A waterproof Super Sharpie.

Super Vivid. This is okay. Rather than you being like, yes, I am okay. Thank you. Well, I was when I started writing this, but it's taken so long, my oxygen levels have significantly decreased. I just thought it would be a lot better because then I could be like, hey, check out that rock over there.

There's a starfish on it or there's a fish under there. No, that's where you go. You point at your eyes and then you point at what you want them to look at. I mean, I don't even scuba rise, but I know your basics, right? I know how to get people to look at things without saying anything. All right, okay. It's like when you're sneaking up on people,

you know in the movies where they've got the guns and they're about to do a raid and they're just like... Oh God, that's why I didn't last in the military. I'm terrible at that. You had your whiteboard and you're like... Gave away our position in Kandahar. Yeah. like that. You had your whiteboard. And they're like now is that a mouse problem or someone with a whiteboard infidels it's bloody infidels with the whiteboard again so other uses for okay in japan this can indicate that someone um has lots of money because it looks

like a coin oh okay or you might be saying you might be a little bit short or like if you've got any coins, you might just be like, paying for parking or I don't know what you pay for. Right, okay. Tip jar or whatever you might be saying. But in ancient Greece, you would do it to other people to say like, I love you because it looks like a little bit like lips, like kissing lips.

So it would be that you would wave to people to say goodbye, but if it was goodbye to a loved one, you'd give them the little lip sign. However, it's not a lips in every situation. This can also be an insulting hand gesture to say, I think that you're a butthole. In Greece as well? No, not in Greece.

Oh, I was going to say, gosh, you go from lips to... Lips, never go lips to butt. To butthole really quickly. No, no, you wouldn't. That would be a... Anyway, today's fact of the day is that the okay gesture, don't just go around the world okaying everybody because in different countries it means a range of different things.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Lewis Capaldi on ZM, Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Lewis Capaldi on ZM, Fletch Warner Megan. Ho, ho, ho. Ooh, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Oh, oh, oh. 71 days, 15 hours and 20 minutes until Christmas.

That is not far. Hey, if you want to find out how many more work days you've got till Christmas, just Google how many weekdays until. Yeah. And then put in a date, what date it is today, and it'll tell you, excluding weekends. And then remember, we've got a long weekend. This is if you work your standard Monday to Friday, 9 to 5.

Or just your standard Monday to Friday. And it'll tell you how many days until whatever day you're knocking off. Because every email Vaughn sends to the group now has a countdown. 45 shows until Christmas holidays. And this one's almost done. Yeah, right. That's good, eh? Yeah.

Got to learn something to look forward to. Yeah. Because your three-hour workday is just too much. It's a lot. I was waiting for a comeback. You're like, ah, ma. In this segment, you send us in reports of Christmas creeping in early. Yeah. And then we give you a Christmas penetration level compared to last year's that we've done this segment.

It has been slower this year, but that is also, like, to be expected. I think this whole year has been a little different. I actually read an article last night or this morning about how a lot of places are worried they're not going to be able to get stock in for Christmas. Oh, really? Because of like just air freight. And...

But it's harder. It's harder, yes. I mean, there could be stuff that people miss out on this Christmas. And more expensive. Some of them are turning to actual shipping

like on ships. And so it's taking longer. Yeah, right. So start now the Christmas shopping. It's nice to think that those ships are actually doing shipping

giving the world's worst polluters. It's nice that they're full. Yeah. doing shipping, giving the world's worst polluters. It's nice that they're full. Yeah, exactly. Not just doing empty loads. Let's start with a message from Blair, who happened to find himself at Bed Bath & Beyond in Pukekohe. Okay.

Christmas penetration in full swing there. So this obviously fits into the beyond part of Bed Bath & Beyond, which was a genius stroke of marketing. It was, yeah. They could sell anything. They could encompass anything. Beyond. Yeah. So yeah, it's all go there. You've got Santas, you've got tree decorations, you've got standalone

decorations, you've got yard decorations, which is obviously the beyond part, and also decorations for the bedroom and the bathroom? Bathroom. Marissa has also been in touch. Does this count as Christmas penetration? I received this email the other morning and also have noticed that Kmart has their old unsold Christmas stock out. Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Love that. They don't want to call it that, though. But the Farmer's Department store Christmas shop is now open. And yes, we've had lots of reports. Farmer's is all gone. And is that leftover? Because it's always discounted. And it doesn't matter if it's last year's Christmas stuff.

Like, what is leftover Christmas stuff? It's the same shit. It's a ball. It's last year, but it's half price. Yeah, but it's not like a Christmas ball or a Christmas tree goes off. No, but there used to be like real racist things for Christmas. No, not cool anymore. What, last year?

Oh, no, but I'm just saying over time if you had onto it for long enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you know, certain things change. Well, if Nan's about to get out a Christmas tree and put a golly walk on top of it, tell her no. Nothing wrong with a golly walk. Oh, my God. Not again. It's starting to look a lot like Christmas in Ikea in Gothenburg, Sweden, says Lee,

who finds himself, I'm guessing, in Gothenburg, Sweden. An entire section with Christmas decorations. Most of them you have to put together yourself. It will be a couple of screws short. But also Christmas penetration is reported by Mika who writes the following. I'm a 23 year old builder

and my second most important reason to live is the Christmas penetration countdown. No word what the first most important reason to live is. Food? Family? One of the Fs. There's another F word that might be number one. In saying that,

I would love to add to the calculations algorithms as my mother has just sent me this photo that the Easy Buy Christmas catalogue has arrived. A very important milestone of the Christmas countdown. Now, Mika, it's okay if you ordered the Easy Buy catalogue. It's fine. You're like saying my mum's got the Easy Buy catalogue, but if you want to buy a Christmas-themed...

Cardigan. Macrambie thing. Macrambie? You do it, girlfriend. Macrambie. I don't know how you say that. Macrambie. Macrambie, the stuff that you hang.

Macrambie. And finally, it's worth a mention. Somebody said they were on the Kmart website and they came across this. This is a Hallmark Christmas card and it reads, For you, brother and partner at Christmas. What? You, brother and partner? Yes.

You mean brother's partner. Well, that is what I'm imagining they're trying to say. Otherwise, a very niche Christmas card for someone who is your brother but also your partner. For you brother and partner at Christmas. I think it means

for you brother and your partner at Christmas. But even that's not very personal is it? No. Well see, is that at Kmart? Yes.

They might have to get the, could you put a comma in there? For you brother and where would you put the comma? Oh no you can't. For you.

Could you cross it out and write their name? Brother and partner. Maybe a comma would help after the for you, brother, and where would you put the comma? Oh, no, you can't. Would you cross it out and write their name? Brother and partner. Maybe a comma would help after the for you. Yeah, for you, brother and partner. I don't know. I don't know. No, just a terrible card.

I think they're going to have to chuck those out. You might. Chuck those out. Chuck those out. You've messed up. Get rid of that. Well, with all that in mind and 71 days away from Christmas. Tommy, you're not getting the PS5 unless you eat your broccoli.

Or broccolini, the sexy broccoli. Christmas penetration is at... 58%. It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Fletchfawner Megan, the podcast. ZM. You may have heard earlier in the year Bonus bonds

I was shutting down I remember we got these as a kid And then that was it Really? Yep I don't even You had to explain what these were So I got some years ago

When I was We were working together Yeah You were talking about them I was like yeah I'll come for a walk This is how This is how I got into KiwiSaver and everything. Fletch does all the research.

I'm like, you're wrong. I'm like, Vaughn, you need to sign up for KiwiSaver because you get free money from the government. Vaughn's like, what? I'll do it. What do I do? What did you do? What did you put for the start?

Yeah. You put your name. Shall I put your name or shall I put mine? This is why Vaughn has his work wife and his home wife. Yeah. So it's life sorted. Yeah, my admin people because I do not like admin. That's why you've become so lazy

because everyone does everything for you everywhere. It's fantastic. I mean, it's to be admired. So it's kind of like, it's like buying a lotto ticket, but you get your money back at the end and you could win like prizes, but they've decided to scrap it.

Yeah, they're going to shut it down. But so I remembered like a couple of years ago that I had that account from all those years ago. And I was like, oh, I should set one up. I went in. I was like, oh, there's like $80 in here. Wow. Time to retire.

And I thought, well, I'll start putting money into it and I'll also do one for the kids. Okay. It's just get paid and then some money goes in and then you don't even see it. That's the best way to save, right? Not knowing you had the money in the first place. So when they said they're shutting it down, I went in and I was like, they just said, put in your account details and we'll put all the money of bonus bonds and it'll take a few days.

I was like, sweet, did mine. I could not work out how to do the children's one. Right. So apparently I need to take them and their ID into a bank to do it because... What is it, 1980? I know, that's weird, right? I set up the account for them. But anyway, I couldn't shut it down.

So that got put on the back burner. You just forgot about it. That got put in the warmer drawer. You know warmer drawers on ovens? And then totally forgotten about until it started to smell. No, I just forgot about it. And then I got an email yesterday saying, congratulations, you've won with bonus bombs. But have they not shut it down yet it's still got

another i think this is the last month right oh yeah right i want to know what happens if i just wait till the end of october and the money's still in there then the money goes away ah don't let it go away so imagine mike so i'm going to say you've won money in the october 2020 bonus bonds and they don't tell you how much. You gotta click the link. But your laziness has won you money. Yes. $20.

Woo! $20. Well, it's actually my my laziness won Indy $20. My daughter. How does she

She's the only one but she doesn't know to spend it. What? She's the only one. Okay, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen spirits.

So she's the only one that's won with bonus bonds. She's won $20 twice. Well, just tell her she's won once. Well, she doesn't even know how much it's in there. She doesn't even know what the deal is. And then by the time she's like 18 or 20, it's going to be worth like $2 in today's money. Yeah, nothing.

Spend it now. Get more bank for your bankers, in today's money. Yeah, nothing. Spend it now. Get more bank for your buck is what you're saying. Yeah, basically. Bank for your investments. Exactly. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe I'll just leave it in there and see what happens. You are 100%.

Your laziness is going to forget about that. It's going to end up costing me money. Yeah. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZDM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hit music lives here. ZM.