ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 14th September 2021

Episode Date: September 13, 2021

Laser Beams  Top 6: Punishments  Conversion Therapy  How Bored is Vaughan  Am I a Bad Person?  Bet I Can Guess Your Mums Name!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play. ZM's Fleeche, Vaughan and Megan. Hello, welcome to the Fleeche, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to McCafe, barista made coffee available from drive-thru and McDelivery at level 3 and also dine-in at level 2. Well, somebody's doing a spot of online essential shopping. Well, I didn't know I could. I was unaware of my ability to.

Right. But then I saw a mate of mine building a shed. I was like, back the fuck up. Where did you get a shed from? You wanted a little tool shed for all your tools. And he said, well, yeah, it falls under essential apparently. I said, fantastic. I've got to hanker in to build something.

I don't know how I feel about this. To me, it's not essential that you have a shed for your tools. Like in level four, there's no need. It's the garden tools. Excuse me. If donuts are essential, I'm pretty sure that. There is a wild discrepancy in what's deemed essential. It is weird.

Like butchers can't open. I don't agree with that. No, I fully agree that butchers should be open because I've seen grain grocers open. Yeah. It seems like some sort of vegan skew, doesn't it? Whereas I just want a meaty skewer. Right.

And I can't get one from the local butcher. You can have a kit set garden shed all like delivered. Yes, but I'm getting it delivered to work because it's $33 cheaper. Okay, how are you getting it home? I'll put the back seat down There's no one on the road I could drive with the boot open Flapping about

Bang, bang, bang, bang on the shed It'll be all good Beep, beep, beep It's all good How tall is it? That's a very good question 1.92m Oh, yeah, okay

How wide are the widest bits of the kit set? Because that could be an issue Well it's 79 centimetres across And it's You know but the other bits It's longer the other way but they come in Panels That's actually a really good call

Maybe I'll just get delivered to home I can't be fuck dealing with your bloody I told you so I told you so Well you owe me $30 now for the extra shipping. And I'll let you keep the told you so. Thanks, Rachel. Good morning.

Welcome to the show, Fleach, Fawn and Megan. Some wild weather out there. Stay safe. Yeah. Winds. When I saw it, they were like, and if you're in Canterbury

and you own an irrigator, if you could just tie that down. You know those massive, what? Those giant, those giant irrigators and paddocks. I was like,

did I hear that right? Shadow's like, yeah. I was like, okay, because it was an alligator. Tie your alligators down, I can understand.

Your inflatable pool alligators, they'll be gone in a light breeze. Did one of those just go all over the show? What do you mean? Did one of those just go away? No, I think it was precautionary. They were like, they'll be gone in a light breeze. One of those just go all over the show. What do you mean? Did one of those just go away? No, I think it was precautionary. They were like, the wind's going to be so crazy,

it would be good if you could just anchor those. Trampolines and irrigators. Those things are gigantic. I know, but I wouldn't have thought they had enough. Trampolines you can understand because the surface area. Yeah, it's very sail-like. Yeah, these things kind of... Oh, that must be so windy.

So windy. And yeah, the weather, the country's getting hammered over sorts of different weather. And by COVID. Oh, yeah. Coming up on the show, the top six. Speaking of lockdown. The top six punishment for the Aucklanders.

This is the couple that under the guise of essential service crossed the Auckland-Waikato boundary and then flew from Hamilton to Wanaka.

Yeah, or to Queenstown then rented a car. Right, so it was that and then rented a car, drove to the family batch in Wanaka. And then what a car. Drove to the family batch in Wanaka.

And then what do you know? The anonymous tip line gets a message. They shouldn't be here. I love the neighbours. They're the heroes in the situation. Yeah, they shouldn't be here. People in Wanaka are pissing, rightly so. As they should be.

Yeah, a mate of mine who lives there sent me photos of like Triple Cone and Kadrona and stuff for the weekend, and everyone was like, back out for a ski. Like, we've missed weeks of this. Let's get out there. Yeah, nice. Imagine if someone with COVID had dragged it up there. Bloody hell.

Well, a late night court Zoom last night. That must be well connected. Oh, are they? That's not a secret. No. One of them, they said which one? One of them has a parent

in a high public position. Ooh. Well, so they've got names. I guess who spent all afternoon trying to figure out who they were. Me. Yeah, they've got name suppression. That's called consequences of your actions.

Yeah, well, that'll all be sorted out in court because they're facing court. But the top six are looking at this situation. Top six punishments. Yeah. Old school, 1980s parenting punishments. Next on the show, though, your mate, Megan, Elon Musk. I wish he was my mate. He doesn't know who I am. I thought we were cancelling him. Yeah, Megan, Elon Musk. I wish he was my mate. He doesn't know who I am.

I thought we were cancelling him. Yeah, I mean, yeah, he's had somewhat problematic past. But the next story, I mean, there's also so many things to love about him. He's got a new invention, which we want to talk about next.

Elon Musk has got a newly granted patent because there's already so many like kooky things about Teslas. But now he wants to use laser beams to... Laser beams.

Get a shark with a freaking laser beam. The story I'm looking at, they actually have Dr. Evil A movie that is what 20 How old would that movie be? 20 something years old?

I had 23 The original Austin Powers I like to think when Elon pitched it He was like Laser beam Laser That's something he would do

1997 So 24 Wow 24 years old So it says There will be Laser. That's something he would do. 1997, so 24, yeah. Wow. 24 years old. So it says there will be pulsed laser cleaning of debris accumulated on glass articles and vehicles and photovoltaic, a lot of that. So basically the laser beams are going to zap the dirt off your windscreen.

Do you guys ever, like, if you've been driving real fast, you just splatter a bug? Yeah. Like, is it going to get a bug? I'd say so. It'll laser zap the bug off. It'll cook the bug. And then when the bug's cooked, it can get in my belly! Stop it.

It always comes back to awesome facts. It always comes back to some hard facts. It says, essentially, it will be able to identify an area It always comes back to Austin Pants. It always comes back. There's some hard facts. Yeah, yeah. It says, essentially, it will be able to identify an area of glass that is sufficiently unclean, at which point a calibrated pulsating laser will remove the debris accumulated over the region of the glass using the beam. Wow.

That's nuts. That's so cool. But how does it not go through and shoot you in the eye when you're driving? It'll shoot across, right? It'll be like a thin layer that sits and it'll just But it's curved, your windscreen's curved.

No, but I mean it'll be a layer over the top of the windscreen. Yeah, right. Like, you know how in new cars that stuff that demists it, you can't see it like the old black lines that used to run through your back. I think the new ones, it's not as obvious. Okay. And they can run something through.

Is that like, you know how you can re-point your squirties? Yeah. You re-point your laser beams. So when you're driving in a car and you stop at the red light and you'd be like, just to get one of those motorcyclists that's overtaking you

in crawling traffic. Yes. Just to slow them down. Just give them a little burn on the bum. I thought you were going to say like, just decapitate the business. I did seem a little bit too much. I mean,

if the homo kiwi saver sells, what's that stuff you put in your windscreen? Bug off. Bars. Bug off. Bug off. Bug off. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. This is bad news for the bug off people. It's bad news. Well, no, because, like, every other car is still going to need bug off. No, you're true. Which is a pretty good product.

I know your KiwiSaver is highly invested in that, but I don't mind getting a two-pack of bug off when you see it on special. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. Well, some action at the checkpoint at Mercer. Police caught a 36-year-old and a 52-year-old in a car. They were essential workers. Like, they had all the paperwork,

but it was at that point that police were talking to them at the checkpoint that they noticed a strong smell of marijuana. In the car? From the car. And that is when they discovered two kilograms of marijuana. How much is two kilograms? Because it doesn't weigh a lot. Because you get like...

What does two kgs of weed look like? I imagine like a hay bale. Nah, that would be more than two kgs. Yeah, that's too big. Because how big are those sack of potatoes? Like two kgs. Oh, the big sacks. Oh, okay, four blocks of butter.

It's a lot. That's heavy. Yeah, that's... It's a lot. This is two kgs. You've just Googled. Look how intensely packed it is. This is so intensely packed. Someone's cutting through it with like a lot. This is two kgs. That would be so much. You've just Googled. Look how intensely packed it is. This is so intensely packed.

Someone's cutting through it with like a knife. Oh, wow. And it's a massive bag. It's like a size of, I'd say like a 5kg potatoes. Oh, they're compact though. Like an agria. Yeah. But really compact.

Yeah, I mean, it's so compact. Someone's literally cutting it into discs with a knife. So you'd imagine it would be like a gym bag full of weed, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. A gym bag full of weed. A country road duffel. Yeah. Actually, now you're speaking my language.

One country road duffel. Okay, that's how we measure. Thank you for putting it in terms I understand. It's my pleasure. That's how we measure drug hauls now. How many bags of country road duffels? How many duffels? No, it was only half a deadly pony clutch.

So you're okay to go. You're just going to get a slap on the wrist because you're a first-time offender. So those two men were charged and appeared in court yesterday. Meanwhile, also at the checkpoint, police found a 29-year-old just walking down the railway tracks.

Oh, yeah. And he was found with meth. So they've got him as well. So since the checkpoint started, there have been... I've got him as well. So since the checkpoints started, there have been, I've got the figure here. I hope they're making, they're not, because you can't have someone unnecessary there. But how good would a TV show about the checkpoint be?

Oh, it's so good. It's like your 10-7s, your motorway patrols, your border patrols. Like it's just one of those things that people are fascinated by but don't get to witness. Well, that's the thing. So since Auckland went into level four four weeks ago, 71 people have been charged with a total of 75 offences. And this was as of the end of Sunday.

A total of 841 vehicles had been turned away for non-essential travel, including 137 on Sunday. So under what guise were these two that got to Wanaka travelling under? No, I need to know. What was their essential service? Because like you're saying, it's pretty hard. They're turning away the majority of people that try.

And I think of all the, they've talked in the press conferences about all the exemptions that are granted through MB. It's only like 5% of all people that apply. If you're a truck driver, you've probably got one of those dash cams. Yeah. I'd love to see the dash cam footage of just going through the checkpoint.

That would be a good intro. I mean, you're allowed to. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Truck drivers are totally, you know, they're one of the services. You're just nosy. I'm just nosy. I'm just nosy. And you obviously can't be a truck driver driving through it holding your phone.

They should just put like a webcam on the bridge just so we can all just log in. Because we're at home doing nothing, those in Auckland. Yeah. It'd be a great watch. Just put it on one of the Freeview channels. You could make bets, be like, are they going to turn around, turn around for me? Yeah. You could make it a drinking game, yeah.

But do you think it would expose weak points of where people could sneak through? Oh, maybe. You'd have to drink for people who got through rather than... Otherwise you'd be legless by midday, wouldn't you? Yeah, what else you got to do? Why not be legless by midday? From the yummy ZM Think Tank,

this is the Top Six. Hello there. Today's Top Six dealing with the Auckland Ibsconders. These are the couple that skedaddled through the COVID checkpoint under the guise of essential workers to go to the Hamilton Airport to fly then

to Queenstown to rent a car to go to Wanaka to the family getaway house. We're imagining the neighbours were like, you will. I think that's who sent the anonymous tip. Yeah, whether it was people that knew them. The arrogance of them I think that's who sent the anonymous tip. Yeah. Whether it was people that knew them. The arrogance of them to think that they were

going to get away with that. But they're rich and white. Why not? They get away with lots of stuff. What? So I've got the top six punishment for the Auckland absconders. Number six. Put them in the stocks in Wanaka.

The stocks are those things where you put your head and your hands through and then the top shuts and it holds you there. Yep. And let the town folks throw local produce at them. Now, given that it's just been winter and the only local produce growing in those harsh southern conditions is probably swedes and turnips. Swedes, yeah. Now out.

Yes. Now out. You made your bed. Time to lie in it. Number five on the list are the top six punishment for the Auckland absconders. Make them walk home from Wanaka in those bubbles that you see at the A&P show. You know that you climb into and then they seal and they inflate and then you run on water? Yeah.

Yeah, the kids go in it and they run around on the water because that'll keep them obviously from breaching the bubble. They'll be in a sort of bubble and And the Cook Strait should be pretty interesting. Yeah. But, you know, again, they made their bed. It's time to lie on it. Number four on the list of the top six punishments for the Auckland absconders.

Delete their social media accounts. Oh, wait, they already did that. Number three on the list of the top six punishments for Auckland absconders. Make them wear T-shirts that say, I fraudulently passed through a COVID checkpoint to fly to Queenstown, hired a car to drive to Wanaka, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt and a criminal conviction.

Hopefully. Fingers crossed on the conviction. Well, yeah, we don't know about the conviction. Number two on the list are the top six punishments for Auckland absconders. Give them another holiday. Now, stay with me, because there's this beautiful old character Airbnb in Mount Eden. It's made of this, of this historic bluestone.

It's got these beautiful arch-led lined windows. And they don't worry about anybody bothering them because it's got high walls. Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, there is a modern wing of it. It's beautiful. It's beside the motorway. It was designed by a Frenchman, so, you know, there's a certain genesis. Huge.

Lovely, yeah. Massive, massive. And, you know, they could meet some other criminals while they're in there. I, of course, am referring to the Auckland Rembrandt Prison.

Number one on the list of the top six punishments for the Auckland absconders. Have a hotline where you can call and if you've worked out their names from online detective work,

you say it and someone will confirm their identities. Because that would be pretty fun. That would be pretty fun. That is today's top six. ZDM's Fletch,

Ron and Megan. Sad news. Starters Bar in Dunedin is closing. Bit of an institution. Bit of an institution. Yep of an institution, yep. The Otago University Students Association. Oosoo?

Oosa have said no. How long has that been around for? There's so many of the famous ones have shut down, eh? Yeah, yeah. There's so many of the famous ones have shut down Yeah So it was known For generations As the oriental It shut down in December 2018

It reopened for O-Week in 2019 As a student bar Specifically for students And a live music venue And everything But now it's been shut down specifically, you know, for students. And a live music venue and everything, but now it's been shut down. Maybe because of the nature of the building's risk. So that sounds to me like it didn't pass earthquake standards.

Oh, right. And they're like too hard. Yeah. Let's just get out of here. Yeah. But it was, it had followed the closure of like Gardies, the Bowler and the Cook. So.

Yeah, some real institutions there. Some memories for lots of people. Yeah, someone just said the new culture was that students drank in the streets and in their flats. Pretty sure that's not a new culture. It's called preloading. Yeah, that's been happening forever. That's. Yeah, don't act like you invented that.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you know these new age kids, they're drinking before they leave the house. It's almost like... And figuring out the economics of it. Yeah, it's almost like it's cheaper to drink at your flat. Yeah.

It is good economics. Pretty much doing, like, studying while drinking. I mean, I don't know what their drinks are, but when you go out into, like, the city and, like, you get a drink and it's, like, $10 or $ mean, I don't know what their drinks are, but when you go out into like the city and like you get a drink and it's like 10 or 11 dollars, you're just like, I'm going to need a lot of these to get drunk.

And then you're like, okay, this isn't economical. No. No. So you can see why it's hard. It's one of the major things you can study at Dunedin Economics. Because maybe the economics students

have been telling all the... In their ear. Yeah. I mean, I'd be worried if the future doctors and lawyers couldn't have worked it out for themselves, but maybe it took the economists. Yeah. But they've worked it out.

Well, sad news. Yeah, RIP. Starters bar. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. If you are a regular listener to the show, you'll know our thoughts on conversion therapy. I think every try should be converted. Whether or not it's been done from the sideline or

right in front of the sticks. That's exactly what conversion therapy is. Yeah, so if you miss too many, you have to go to conversion therapy. It's help for Bud and Barrett when he has a bad game. Well, it gets in your head, doesn't it? It rattles around. And even if it's a basic one, if you've missed a few, so the therapy helps you out.

But there's another type of conversion therapy as well that we are anti. And that would be the old thoughts of theroporizing away somebody's sexual preference. It's crazy. If you've watched any documentaries

on it, it's horrible. It's a very harrowing watch. What was that movie, Boy Erased? Was it Troye Sivan? Yeah. And Russell Crowe and Nicole Kidman. That was a full-on watch. And that was based on a true story in America only like five, six, seven years ago. It was only

around when that was released that I realised New Zealand still did this. And that was shocking. I know. It's amazing, eh? Because you just don't experience it. You're like, well, that can't be happening here and then you find out

it is happening here. Well, 100,000 New Zealanders have made submissions to Parliament's Justice Select Committee regarding conversion practices, prohibitation, legislation bill. That needs a catch, you know. CPPLB.

I might be mistaken but that is the highest number of submissions for anything ever yep it is ever received on a bill in New Zealand yeah it's before and after

sorry for and against as well yeah so do we know what the numbers are because I know that there was a lot of especially in the last few days everyone was like

quick all the churches are in there you've got to submit yours yeah yeah because you could submit not all the churches just not all the churches I think it was

Destiny Church said that they were going to do it. Not all churches are for it. You can submit as an individual or as an organisation. Some organisations, obviously, some churches and stuff have submitted. So apparently they're going to hear from organisations first and then from

individuals. But they've got to go through them all in 100,000 submissions. We don't have numbers on who was born again. My church that I set up primarily as a tax dodge, we were against. We were against conversion therapy. Oh, that's good. Did you? Unless it's the rugby one. Because we all made

submissions, right? And then it said do you want to be heard from or do you want to make a verbal submission as well? That's where you can talk to the select committee. Yeah, and I was like, um, no, no, no, just do the original one. I don't need to speak for that community. Ask them about it.

Yeah. So the National Party were the only ones to vote against the bill's first reading in Parliament. Yeah. Because they wanted to protect parents, right? Yeah. Well, that was what they said, yeah. Even though a lot in the party were for it. Did you give yourself a headache with that eye roll?

Yeah, I actually went a bit far. I think I strained my eyes when the roll of the eye hit the back there. So, yeah. I guess we wait and see what happens now. Yeah. There's a select committee with 100,000 submissions to go through.

Will your church be talking? Did you want to make a verbal submission? I don't want to. Because they might ask me too many questions and I won't have the answers and then it will show that I have just set this up for tax dodging.

How's your breakfast cereal going? With your church breakfast cereal. It's not even about. Right. How's your breakfast cereal going with your church breakfast cereal? It's not even about that, really. It's about the tax. Yeah. It's about the not paying any tax, is it? Okay, well, that's great. Yeah.

Yeah, that's me. Yeah. Actually, you know what? I probably could speak and just make up a whole lot of stuff as I go. But as long as I get my sweat Harleys and call Holiday Homes tax-free. You're all good? you're all good.

I'm all good. So only children, they have a bit of a bad rap. If I say to you an only child, would you think of some people you know that are only children? Yeah. You behave like an only child. You do. Because you don't compromise.

You're not familiar with compromise. You're like, well, does that affect me? No. Well, I don't compromise. You're not familiar with compromise. You're like, well, does that affect me? No. Well, I don't care. It's almost like you just don't even recognise that you have a sibling. You are an only child, by the way. Wow. This is quite a way to find out, guys.

Thank you. Can't wait at the social media desk. You are an only child. I am. What would some of the clichés be that you'd hear about being an only child? Yeah, definitely spoiled, gets their way all the time. Non-negotiable. Sure.

Yeah. You don't embody any of those. I was shocked when I found out you were an only child, wasn't I? Yes, but then you hold it against me. Now that I know. You're right, he does. Yeah. Like a proper middle child of three.

I'd say most of the only children I know would be all pretty good. Like, do you reckon it is a cliche? Maybe I don't know. It just depends on the person though, really, doesn't it? Because some I know fit that bill, but then you also fit the bill and you're not an only child. So a study's been done in China

and I don't know if this is some Communist Party spin because of their one child only policy. They enforced it for many, many years, didn't they? It's only just recently that China's let you have more than one. You can apply and have two. Yeah. New research from a university in China has revealed that being an only child does not make them any more selfish

than those with siblings. So they looked they did experiments with siblings and also only children and they found absolutely no difference. Didn't they? Wasn't there a syndrome called the Little Emperor Syndrome? Yeah, they do talk about this in this study. Yeah, specifically, only children are thought to be more narcissistic,

depressive and impulsive than non-only children. They have been described as little emperors. Yeah, but it's like you say, this is a study done by the Chinese Communist Party who enforced it, who also don't like showing weakness. Yeah, but it's like you say, this is a study done by the Chinese Communist Party who enforced it, who also don't like showing weakness. Yeah, I know. So it definitely feels like it could be slightly skewed. We'll take that with a Cerebus container of salt.

Yeah. That one there. A Cerebus container of salt? What about for a Himalayan pink? Oh, this is going cheap and easy. Oh, you're going easy a year too. I don't. Whatever in hand. Himalayan pink? I was just going cheap and easy. Oh, you were going easy a year too. I don't. That's Himalayan pink salt, Vaughn.

No, but I just thought you were because it was closer to China. Oh, you're fickle. That's why I went for the Himalayan pink. Yeah, right, okay. But also, you know that kid on the Cerebos who's chasing the chicken pouring salt on him? Only child. Guarantee it.

Is he chasing a chicken? Yeah. He's wanting to salt it so that he can eat it. My God. I just thought they were running. See how it runs. See how it runs. Because it's non-clumpy salt.

I know the kid's running, but I didn't know he was chasing a chicken. Why is he trying to pour a chicken on his... Oh, my God. Didn't we look into this once? Didn't we do a light piece? I was today years old. A shallow dive on. Yeah.

Megan was 44. How old are you? 40 something. 48 years old. 48 years old when I found out that the boy on the Cerebral Salts. Megan was 44. How old are you? 40 something. 48 years old. 48 years old when I found out that the boy on the Cerebral salts. What? Wow. Salting the chicken.

Because he's going to eat it. Not everyone knew that. Again, it's there and numb. The boy chasing the chicken originates from the old folk tale that if you poured salt on a chicken's tail, it wouldn't be able to fly away. What? Is that like butter on the cat's feet? Maybe, yeah. But that's what they

should do for anchors, send yourself butter. They should have a kid grabbing a cat and just forcing its paws into it and then the next one is the kid just bleeding from the face. Okay, great. Don't try to put my paws in salt, you son of a... Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. Um, yesterday, I don't know,

I've been pretty bored. Like, the most annoying part about the boredom is that if I get bored, usually my 10's open. So I'm just like, I know what's going to kill my boredom. I'm going to go spend some hundreds of dollars on a project and learn something at the same time and build something. But that hasn't been happening in lockdown, so I've got to make do. As I said, on like Sunday night, I spent the afternoon raking the goats paddock, like with

a leaf rake, raking up all the little sticks. That's how bored you are. And it's super windy today, so that'll be a mess again. That'll be blowing the ash everywhere. Oh, you mean the more sticks are falling out of the trees. Yeah. Yeah, well, give me something to do this afternoon. But yesterday, I remember I had this, I mean. I talked to your mum about it when I bought it

because I was like, Bev absolutely needs one of these. Yeah. But I stopped using it because it a bit came loose. But yesterday, I was like, I can even work. I'm so bored. I could work with this. It's this weed remover. And it specializes in removing weeds that have got a tap root.

Now, a tap root, it's like a carrot, basically, under granny. Oh, yeah. Doc. Docs. Broadleaf doc weeds are like the big New Zealand ones. This is like the Dr. Pimple Popper tool that she sells on her website. So I was out there doing it, and Sade came out onto the deck, and she's like, what are you doing?

I was like, I'm getting all like the broadleaf weeds with a taproot out of the lawn. Usually I'd spray, but I can't get the spray. Usually I get the spray thing that you attach to the hose and you like spray it and it fertilizes your lawn, but it kills like the broadleaf. That's not going to be to everybody's liking who's listening now. Don't spray.

I'll spray, I'll walk away. So I can't get the spray stuff. So I'm just like, I'm just going to use this tool to pull them out. She's like, so what are you doing? And I'm like, well, you stab it into the ground and then you lean it back and it closes the clamp around the bottom part of the tap root. And then you slowly, you can do it quick or you can do it slow. And if you do it slow, it's more likely to pluck the whole thing out of the ground.

So she's like like give me a go so I was like okay here's one and I found a good one I was like stab it around and now lean it back and she would like stab it in and then slowly lean it back and you heard it go out of the ground and it pulled out the hole and she's like I like

this and she knew I was like it's a bit like Dr. Pimple Popper when you get a good one, eh? And she's like, yeah. So then we went around like stab

and then you'd like slowly lean it and we'd be like, oh, careful. Yeah, you got it. You'd hear it.

And then the kids came out and they're like, what are you doing? We're like, we're pulling weeds out. And they're like, that is dumb. And then they went back

and it's fine. They heard these erotic noises coming from the lawn. Oh, ah, slowly. Oh, slowly. Oh, yeah, good one. You got the whole thing. You got the whole thing. Chuck it in the wheelbarrow.

That might be sexual for somebody, but. Not you. We were chucking it in the wheelbarrow and then. Yeah, so we. How long were you out there? It was a sexy afternoon Yeah, so we. How long were you out there? It was a sexy afternoon for the Smiths. How long were you out there? Like hours.

I was out there for like two and a half, three hours. I think she was out there for at least an hour and a half of it. And she's like, we need one of these each. I was like, well, yeah, this one's broken. They work better if this bit works. And she's like, they work better? I was like, yeah, they can work better. And she's like, they work better? I was like, yeah, they can work better. And she's like, yeah, we definitely need one each.

So November 13, wedding anniversary, 11 years. Sexy. Buy yourself a bag of them. But I can't even go and buy another weed puller. Oh, yeah, because it's, yeah. Because it might attention. And, like, you can't order online because it's not, like, I don't know if Fisker weed pullers are deemed essential services.

I don't think they are. Wow. But it was hot stuff, guys. It was hot stuff. Heating up in the Smith household yesterday. Yeah. This chat's good for Aucklanders in level four, but the rest of the country's like.

Just like, you're losing your mind. We are. We are. We kind of finished the main part of the lawn, and she's like, would the paddock have these? I was like, oh, the paddock's got heaps. And she's like, then it's to the paddock. And we found some big ones.

We found a couple of thistles. She really liked the thistles. Yeah. That came out. Cool, man. I'm happy for you. Wow. I'm real happy for you.

What are you going to do today if it's raining? Cry? Yeah. Cry, eat, cry. See if I can put my head through a wall. Put a fork in an electrical socket. Yeah. Burn the garage down.

Yeah, right. Don't know. So you're coping well then? Yeah. Yeah. All right. CD So you're coping well then. Yeah. All right. ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan. So it's not just the pandemic that's causing people to reassess their relationships. Apparently, 54% of couples have reassessed their relationship during the pandemic and been like,

actually, we don't have a lot in common now that I have to spend every day with you. But there is a cheating app, a cheating website where people go to have affairs that has said that autumn is the time, autumn affairs is the time where they have the most requests for affairs. The kind of activity goes up. So that's in the Northern Hemisphere. September. Okay, right. So in New Zealand, that would be what?

March. Yeah. Okay. So apparently people come back from summer holidays and realise they didn't have that great a time with their partner. Maybe there was a few arguments and stuff and going back into the workplace.

Workplace affairs are massive in autumn. And yeah, people go online to find a little bit on the side. Autumn affairs. Who knew? Because I was on the internet last night and it said that there are hot milfs in my area. Is that related? That might be related.

Did you click on it? No. No. The one in the picture didn't look local to me. There was nothing about it that's true. If she was a local, you could tell. I think it was a trick. Okay.

I live nearby you. Oh, imagine if it was you. Hot milk's in your ear and I was like, that's Megan! What's going on here? Okay, let's not even think about that. ZM's Fleshborn and Megan.

ZM. The spider's back. The spider's back. my side The spider's back I think we just leave him there It's probably warm on the screen He's in level 4 too You know He's We're all feeling it

He's languishing too I want to squash it No don't squash it You can't squash it I don't like spiders But I don't squash them Can you blow it over to Megan again? That one's a good

A little spider I'll take him on my hand Just leave him there He's happy I think it's a good little spider. I'll take him on my hand. Just leave him there. He's happy. I think it's a white tail. It is not a white tail. It's one of those little jumpy ones. Just leave him there.

He likes it. Now you've knocked my screen over, haven't you? I knew that would happen. That was the spider. What a strong spider. That's why Spider-Man's such a good hero. They're very strong. Am I a bad person?

Okay, put the screen up. Now, Megan's received some correspondence. I have. Well, I'm happy to receive these through DMs. That screen should be held up by more than its own base. Yeah, you're right. It should be. That's just literally sitting on itself.

Yeah, yeah. Ridiculous. So this, yeah, correspondence through the DMs. Am I a bad person slash help? How do I tone down a close friend who messages slash videos slash voice messages all day, every day? I know she doesn't have many friends and she has a friend in me, which makes it harder. She is a great, caring friend, a really nice person, but the constant need to communicate with me is becoming a bit much.

It's got to the point where I now pretend that I'm not on my phone very much, so I didn't see the message. I don't have the confidence to say, hey, please don't. Am I a bad person for ignoring her messages and pretending I don't see them? Oh, what a punish. How does she not? I mean, if she ignores them enough, surely the friend will, you'd hope, like most of us, read the room. I did get sent a screenshot.

It was incessant. It was incessant. Like how? It would have been a ratio I could see about seven to one very short message. They should try having you as a friend. I don't think so. I'd be like playing tennis against the wall. But at least, you know, it's not personal.

I always say that because I do it to everyone. Yeah. Because I always read it and I'm like, I'll get back to you in a sec. At least the wall bounces the ball back straight away. Yeah, totally. Unlike Megan. Yeah. I don't know.

I don't have an excuse. Yeah. I don't know. I don't have an excuse. Yeah. I do it to everyone. It's really not personal. Everybody's need for levels of communication is different. Some people can go days without talking to other people. Some people need to be in constant communication with other humans. It's like Vaughn on the group chat.

What? I'm just throwing some ideas out the minute it pops into my head. Hey, guys, look what I'm doing on the farm. Oh, my God. Look at this leg. God, you should have been in my lads chat last night

I was watching I got into a real hot stream you know when you start watching a video on Facebook and then the video below it's got

nothing to do with you yeah like those guys dig that pool they dig the pool the guys that dig the pool but it wasn't the guys that dig the pool

it was like these weird math theories. Oh, yeah. And I started watching one. I'm like, I don't know how to solve this math theory, but I understand the basic workings of it, and that's amazing. So I sent it to the lads group. I was like, check this out.

And then the next video was another math thing. I was like, that's also fascinating. Bang, bang, bang. So you're that annoying friend. I sent them a lot of content to get through. But I don't know in this case what she can do. Because she likes her. Yeah.

And she says she's a caring, nice person and she's a friend. So it's not that. It's just the allure of communication. I would say pick and choose when you reply. Yeah. And read it when you don't read every message that comes through. Maybe turn off notifications for her. Yeah. So then you'll see

it when you're in the chat that you've got a new message from them and then you can read it like a digest. Yeah. And do six hours of messages at once and reply and then leave it another six hours. It doesn't sound like and from the screenshot I got, it doesn't look like the friend is being like

reply to me, reply to me. She's just chucking out content. She might be lonely. Do we know where in the country they are? No. But this is an ongoing, this isn't like a lockdown thing. She's just constantly needy. Yeah, it sounds like it's been an ongoing thing for a while.

Huh. Okay, well. What do you say? What do you say? So awkward. Has anybody listening been in this situation? Maybe they've got some advice. Huh. Okay, well. What do you say? What do you say? So awkward. Maybe you have, has anybody listening been in this situation? Maybe they've got some advice.

0800 DALSATM 9696. Is she a bad friend for not replying to messages all the time? And ignoring them? For ignoring her friends' messages? Yeah. I don't know. Maybe she just needs to say,

hey, look, I don't, I'm not on here that much. Sorry if I don't reply all the time hint hint like stop messaging me all the time do they know did they miss it did they say that she's like this with everybody or she's just kind of like i don't know what to say maybe she doesn't have many friends so she's taking the place of a few friends by the sounds of it right okay so she doesn't have many friends probably because she won't leave them alone.

But oh, man. Okay, so 0800DARLS.M Give us a call. 9696 to text her. Maybe you've been in a similar situation or you've got some advice. Is she a bad person for not responding to her friend that incessantly messages her?

Am I a bad person? So basically a close friend messages videos, voice messages every day and they really like them. They're a bad person? So basically a close friend messages videos, voice messages every day and they really like them, they're a nice person, but they want to tell them how to please tone down the messages. It's too much. Anonymous, what do you think? Are they a bad person?

No, no, they're definitely not a bad person at all. I'm the friend. I'm the needy friend. So do you do this to all your friends or are you just your close friends? No, just my BFF. I left the relationship, a very long relationship, and I'm lonely. Right. I'm a dude.

I turn around a shitload. I'm a birdo. So she knows. She doesn't need to reply i just need to get it out of my head to like just helps me process what i'm thinking at the time it doesn't make me feel like i'm you know like having to internalize it too much because i've gotten it out yeah replies whenever it doesn't bother me so you don't mind if she doesn't always reply nah not at all i'm quite aware of my neediness right okay what's a good another another way to So you don't mind if she doesn't always reply? Right, okay.

What's another way to look at it, eh? I didn't even think about that, really. Yeah. I'll tell you what, if you're after another friend with time on their hands and a connection to make, wait there, we'll hook you up with Fletcher's number. He loves. friend with time on their hands and a connection to make. Wait there, we'll hook you up with Fletcher's number. Thank you. He loves. Yeah, I love chat, Donna. I love chatting. I love chatting. Anonymous, thank you for sharing.

Some messages in. Quite a few people are messaging in saying they are the needy friend. Oh, really? And a lot of the time they don't need a reply to everything. Really? No, they just kind of need to get it out of their head. See, I wonder at what level of friendship this person is. Well, it says they're good friends, but it's just like...

Because you're good friends, you don't care how much they message, right? But just like Anonymous said there, like she needs to get out of her head. She might not have someone that she can confide in. Yeah, yeah. Whereas the person they're messaging might have a family or, you know, a substantially busier life with other life admin. Yeah. Someone said, not a bad person.

If they do find out what to do, can they please let me know? My flatmate sends a ridiculous amount of snaps of her dog to me who I also live with, so I don't need to see that. All right. You can put the two in touch. Am I a bad person? So basically, someone has a close friend who messages videos, voice messages all day, every day.

They are good friends and she does like her but the incessant messaging is a bit much so she wants to know and she doesn't have the confidence to say stop. Yeah. Is she a bad person for ignoring her messages and pretending she doesn't see the confidence to say stop. Yeah. Is she a bad person for ignoring her messages and pretending she doesn't see them? What to do?

Absolutely not, says somebody that replied on Instagram. You have to take stock of your own mental health before somebody else's. Constant messaging will absolutely be taking a toll on the recipient's mental health and also they have their own life to live as well. Maybe that's a good way to say to her, hey, look, I'm just dealing with lockdown or I'm

dealing with stuff at the moment. I don't have a lot of mental capacity for messaging. Yeah. So don't feel bad if I don't reply and then maybe she'll get the hint. Somebody else said, I'm not a bad person at all. I'm in the exact same situation and it can be so toxic. Turn off the notifications and explain something like, hey, you've probably noticed I don't reply very often. I've found that for my own mental health at the moment, I have to spend less time on my phone,

which is true because it can drive you a little bit crazy. Only reply when you have the capacity for it. Well, that's a good way of putting it. Yeah. Okay. Katja has called up. What do you think, Katja? Is she a bad person?

Not at all. I think she just needs to have an open and frank conversation with a friend. Okay. And just expectations, really, and just say, look, you know, I only read my messages every so often or even ask her just to cut it out, really. Yeah, and then you hope she gets the hint. Yeah, totally. So it's not even a hint at that stage.

You've basically told her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ketchup, thanks for your call. Some more messages in. Why do we feel the need to reply straight away to messages? Exactly. If she's sharing content. This is my life.

Reply full stop from you. If she's sharing content, I think she's just sharing things that she thinks the other lady would like. Maybe she isn't expecting a response every time. So just responding when she can. Somebody said back in the day, if you corresponded with someone, you could be expecting to wait months to hear back from them. I'm talking

about your old school snail mail. So maybe you certainly don't need to reply very quickly. Michelle, what do you think? Oh, Marina, how are you? Good, thanks Marina. I was just thinking that maybe she should take into account that maybe Michelle, what do you think? Oh, Marina, how are you? Good, thanks, Marina. Good. I was just thinking that maybe she should take into account

that maybe this girl goes to her because she's her person when she's feeling low. And just with everything that's going on at the moment, you know, there's lots of posts about people saying, remember, you're not alone. I'm always here for you. Because you don't know what her situation is. It's hard to tell off the text.

Yeah. But then what do you do if she can't handle that? Because she's going through her stuff as well. Well, I think then they should be able to lean on each other, maybe. And it all comes down to people being honest, and that's a really hard thing for Kiwis to do. It is. Not in a good place.

Yeah. That's so true, though. Like, she might be her person, but then she might have a partner, and that's kind of her person. Yeah. But like the first person that called up said, our first caller,

she might just want to get it off in chat, and that's okay, and that's all she needs. She's not expecting a response all the time. Michelle, thanks for your recall. Do we have a final poll result? Well in favour of her not being a bad person for putting her own sort of like time and privacy and mental health first. She's putting pressure on herself to respond when the friend,

I don't even know if she really cares if there's a response straight away. Yeah. Do what I do and just respond when you feel like it. Somebody said we should put needy people in touch with other needy people. But have you ever seen two needy people communicate? They blow up, don't they? It doesn't work because they're both just talking into a space. Yeah, right.

I've watched it happen in person. It's quite wicked. It's quite wicked. It's quite wicked to watch. But like, oh, when's one of them going to actually respond to the thing that person just, nope, they're just going on with it. They're saying their thing. They're saying their thing. No one's listening.

No one's listening. Everybody's just talking into a space. So 94% of people said they're not a bad person for ignoring the messages. Right. So. That makes me feel better too. You need to ask this person How this ends up Megan

I will I will Message him back We'll keep you updated A couple of minutes away from 8 We'll update you with the latest news next And then we're going to play Another round of

I bet I can guess your mum's name With old Loser Streak Vaughan Smith Hasn't had a win Haven't had a win for a while have you? What two times? Two times? Two fails in a row?

Yeah. Today's the day. Today's the day. Feeling my jellies. Third time's the charm. You got jellies? Yeah. Jelly shoes.

Those jelly sandals. Those are my insides. Ah. Your jelly bits. Never heard you refer to your organs as your jelly bits. I thought you meant you had some of those jelly sandals. Nah. In the 80s.

Have you got a stone cord in them. Oh, watch out. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. Hey, you on the phone, I bet I can guess your mum's name. Well, another round of I bet I can guess your mum's name and unfortunately coming off a losing streak. A big winning start to the year for Vaughan Smith. Yeah, yeah.

It's just since lockdown, you know? Yeah. Stephanie joins us. Good morning, Stephanie. Hi. Now, Vaughan will ask you five questions. Yeah, you've got your indicator on. Oh, there we go.

Don't turn it off. Please don't change the view anymore, is there? Sorry, Stephanie. Vaughan's grumpy. Stephanie, you've got your indicator on. Stephanie, you've got your indicator on. He anymore, is there? Sorry, Stephanie. Vaughan's grumpy. Stephanie, you got your own decanter on. Stephanie, you got your own decanter on. He's level four grumpy, Stephanie. No, I'm not grumpy.

I'm not grumpy. I'm not grumpy. Tell Stephanie what time you had to get your muesli bar from the vending machine this morning. Seven o'clock, Stephanie. That's an early muesli bar. Normally it's nine, isn't it? Yeah. Now, Stephanie, Vaughan will ask you five questions about your mum and then have 15 seconds to guess her name.

If he can do that, you win $100 cash. What are mum's siblings' names? Question one. Ondra and Glenn. Ondra and Glenn. Ondra. Is that like an Andrea? No, just Ondra.

Is that a boy or a girl? Girl. Girl. Is that like an Andrea? No, just Ondra. Is that a boy or a girl? Girl. Girl. Ondra. Is that like Dutch or something? That's Fletch's question, not mine. It was a question. It does beg to...

Well, sorry, Ondra and... Glenn. Glenn. See, Glenn's your normal stock standard. It's not going to be a Glenda then, so that's one name off the list. Yeah, okay. Unless they're identical twins. Glenn and Glenda.

And then you call them Glenn and Glenda. Oh, my God. Imagine doing that with twins. That would be so great. Samantha and Samuel would be two more great identical twins. Or Terry and Teresa. Just Terry and Terry. Yeah.

Yes. Terry, Terry, Terry, Terry. All right. Okay, question two. Terry, Terry, Terry, Terry. All right. Okay, question two. Wait, wait, wait, wait. I've got to write a couple down here. I'm going to put a Leanne there. I'm going to put a Helen in the mix.

Well, all right. You've got your Janines. You've got your Tracys. Nothing there that I've just read out tickling your fences? No, sir. Anything is. No, no, no. What type of car does mum drive?

A Holden Colorado. What a Tanya mobile. Is that about good? She's not giving you anything. Paula's Pope mobile. Okay. Her what mobile? Julie's the Pope mobile.

Have you never heard the Pope mobile before? It was a desperate grab alliteration. Can you imagine Fiona behind the wheel of a Colorado? Yeah. Are you okay? Nope. I think we've established that he's not, Megan. Mary.

Okay. Seven, Mary, three. Seven Mary Three. Do you remember that band? I bet Mary would crank some Seven Mary Three in the Colorado, which is by herself. Yes. Time for cum. Cum-a-sum.

Do this work. I'm sorry, Steph. I know you're in the Manawatu, Stephanie, aren't you? You're probably not feeling this. Ooh, the Manawatu. You know, we're out of lockdown and the weather's nice, so. Shut up! Shut up, Stephanie!

Shut up! Maybe for you. Tina. Oh, yeah. Well, now that I know she's from the Manawatu, I've got a real feeling, yeah, she's got that accent too. Tina. Who the bloody hell?

Who used all the fuel in the Colorado? Goddamn you cunts. Next question. Is mum a slippers mum? Two types of mum in this world. One that slips on slippers. Yep. And one that doesn't. She's a slippers mum. Okay. She's a slippers mum. Two types of mum in this world. One that slips on slippers and one that doesn't. She's a slippers mum.

She's a slippers mum. What kind of slippers? What kind of slippers? Oh, you know, the cheapies from the warehouse. Does she get a new pair for Mother's Day every year

because it's like the start of winter and you need a new pair of slippers? No, she doesn't actually. She's a hanger on her. Oh, is she? She sounds like

the type of mum that would make one pair last three seasons. Yep. And are they tartan-coloured? What kind of colour? Fluffy? Or they're grey. They're grey and pink at the moment. Oh, I like that.

She's like, no, she's not only a slippers mum. I'm like, you're familiar with her slippers. Yeah. Okay. All right. Now, that's giving Vaughan some ideas for some names. Is that an Angela? No, not right. That's giving Vaughan some ideas for some names. Is that an Angela? No, not yet.

Okay. How many questions left? Two. Two questions. What does mum do best? Like, every mum's got a specialty subject. My mum's is laundry. My mum smokes a, like, you could just chuck your undies on the floor

in the laundry, and then, like, 90 minutes later, they're folded on your bed, washed and dried. Like, how did she do it that quickly? Oh, like, you could just chuck your undies on the floor in the laundry and then, like, 90 minutes later they're folded on your bed, washed and dried. Like, how did she do it that quickly? Where did she find the time? Recently, mum has found quite a act for baking and like, chutney making and things like that. Chutney, so she's moved into your

preserves. Lovely. I mean, growing up, she never did anything like that, but since I've moved out, growing up, she never did anything like that. But since I've moved out, that's what she does now. Did she inherit a whole lot of AG jars and was like, well, I've got them, I might as well do something with them? Maybe. Yep.

Yep. How am I trying to inherit a deceased estate's amount of jars? You know who loved to preserve? Who? Margaret Bain. Oh, okay. Margaret Bain, the whole Bain household. Put down Margaret then.

Preserves underneath. That could be a name there. I might chuck down a lady as well. It's fascinating that you know that. Last question. We did. You are losing the plot, Vaughan Smith. Come on, matey.

You're all right, mate. Oh, my God. Make him do it, pal. I dream of David Bain called in for a guessing against your mum's name. Stop it. Last question. Stephanie, what is one question?

Okay, no, I think he's gone. Can you imagine it? Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hang in there, Steve. For the car, does your mum drive, David? She doesn't know a lot of driving. Dad did the driving. Robin did the driving.

Last question. The last question. Describe mum's bathroom. Now, I need the whole sensory experience what is mum's bathroom like I think a bathroom says a lot about a mum you know what I'm saying does it have any decorations on the wall

what's the smell, does she use a glade does she have a plug in glade or is it a spray glade it's a spray glade, I know that is it lavender no, nothing there's nothing exciting in her bathroom really, what about how many body washes Grey Glade, I know that. Is it lavender? No, nothing. There's nothing exciting in her bathroom.

Really? What about how many body washes is she rocking at once? Is she multiple? Does Dad have one? Does she have one? Nah, she's like the big bulk buy, like, Ray Dock cheap one. Okay. Straight in the shower. Yeah.

What about, like, shampoo and conditioner? Yeah, cheap. Whatever she can get. Cheap stuff. Cheap, yeah. Okay. Yeah. All right, Vaughn Smith.

Jotting down some mums. I'm not hopeful. You're not hopeful. No. All right. Well, Stephanie, you will have 15 seconds, Vaughn, to read out all the mums' names. Stephanie, if you hear your mum's name, yell out,

stop, that's my mum's name. Vaughn, your time starts now. Leanne, Helen, Janine, Tracy, Tanya, Paula, Julie, Fiona, Louise, Mary, Vanessa, Tina, Alison, Christine, Diane, Carol, Kim, Angela, Catherine, Margaret, Brenda, Jane, Carol. Now, Stephanie, what was your mum's name? Karen. Oh, my God!

Why was it not on my list? That is like the... I know, I put it on every week. I put it on every week. You were so close with the Carols. I put it on every week, and I didn't put it on this week. I think that was one of our first ever, can I guess your mum's name? No, it was like the second or third, but it was the first name on my list that week.

Wow. Well, I've found some tin news for you shut up Stephanie ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan I don't know where this came from what we're about to talk about because that's usually

we start with a personal connection to the subject we're about to delve into I don't even know how I got to thinking about this it just came up it cracked me up and I was like I can't even know how I got to thinking about this. It just came up and cracked me up.

It cracked me up and I was like I can't be the only one that remembers this. So I ran it past my fellow 30-somethings. Oh, excuse me. I'm like early 20s. You're 30-something. Towards the sunset of that one as well. Me too.

Ouch. And I was being kind by including you in the 30s. Thank you. So I said, do you guys remember the first time in the 90s, the first time you came across a text to voice computer program? Where you type in what you wanted the computer to say. Yeah.

Yeah. This was what, like I don't even know what made me think of it, but the voices were chaotic. Like, now you can do a text-to-voice, like, if I go, if I just Google text-to-speech anything online, yeah, text-to-speech online, you can just type something in and it will, you know, say it out.

And it's like Siri quality. Yeah, it's really good. But back in the day, it wasn't. It was almost demonic sounding. It was as freaky as I remember. This was one called Mac and Talk. I found examples of these to show you how freaky they were. And the minute I heard this voice, it took me back to Intermediate

where this was like a video game in itself. You typed in what you wanted it to say, and sometimes, like you said to me before, you had to spell things wrong to get them to pronounce it right. And you'd do something like type in something horrendous about your teacher, and then you'd put the computer to sleep. And so when the teacher came and she was like, all right, someone can use the computer,

and she'd whack the enter key to wake it up. It would say something horrible to her, and Mrs. Clements would flip. What did you say about Mrs. Clements? I can't remember specifics, but I remember she wasn't happy. Okay. It wasn't. But this was the voice.

Macintosh speech synthesis was featured in the 1984 Macintosh introduction by Steve Jobs. Like, how scary is that? Yeah, that's demonic. That's what it was. That was the first computer voice we heard. Like, that was, there was Terminator? And then there was the demonic voice And computers that spoke And freaked everybody out

But then you just wrote things like boobies Yeah, I'm a robot I am a computer, I have boobs That was good stuff So that's the evolution But no less demonic and scary It's not better And then we were talking about Omega 500s So that's the evolution, but no less demonic and scary. It's not better.

And then we were talking about Omega 500s, which were like legendary computers. They were like, this is... What? Kind of like the first home computers. Yeah, yeah. That people could afford. So it'd be like, weee, whirring, and then you'd type something in and it was...

This is the Commodore Amiga personal computer speaking. I can convert completely unrestricted English text into high-quality speech in real time. Listen to this. I can speak in a male voice. And a female voice. I can speak in a male voice. And a female voice. You're not fooling anyone, computer.

Yeah. But I tell you what, it was the Niners. I bet someone had typed themselves some erotic fiction into that and had the female voice read it back to them. Probably your dad. You listening now? Not my dad. He didn't know how to use a computer until like 2009,

and even then it was slow clicks. Really one finger typing. Really limited. I don't know why I wanted to go for a walk down memory lane like that, but I did and I'm glad we did. You're glad? I'm glad we did. I enjoyed it.

Yeah. We had fun. And I can speak slowly. I can speak in a very expressive voice. Or I can change the mode and speak in a very expressive voice Or I can change the mode And speak in a monotone Just like a real computer Wow

Yeah You could get it to say anything Swear words, the lot, baby Play Zidane's Fleshphone and Megan Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Okay, so today's fact of the day is related to what we were talking about just before, but I didn't realize. Okay.

Or didn't know. Now, I've thought about what got us talking about the computer voices. It was the TikTok voice. How you type something in and the TikTok voice reads it out and you don't like the TikTok voice. I don't like it. Yeah. I don't know if it's because I'm hearing it too much or... And that's when I said it's got nothing on

what computer voices used to sound like. When they were first invented. Yeah. So that's how we got onto that. Today's fact of the day is scientists have let oyster mushrooms talk. What? For the first time. No. What?

Are you okay? I'm fine. What kind of rabbit hole did you go down? Mushrooms can talk. Right. Mushrooms can play music. Are you on mushrooms? Yeah.

I'm not on mushrooms. That's my next question. I'm not on mushrooms. That's my next question. I'm not on mushrooms. So how this works is they hook mushrooms up to a synthesizer and the mushrooms have a slight vibration to them. Yeah. And this amplifies it. They hook them up and the thing they plug it into converts the waves that the mushrooms

are producing into electronic waves. Yeah. And then that gets transcoded into sounds. Right. So this is a flush or crop of pink oyster mushrooms talking. Are you ready? Yeah. Oh, I've got to start it again.

I've watched it. This is two oyster mushrooms talking to each other. No, no, no. It sounds like some kind of comical, weird Tim Burton. So they put the mushrooms next to each other. They hook them up to these. And then the bio-data sonification is what we're hearing. That is converted into galvanic response to control voltages and then those electrochemical activity of the mushrooms

controls the synthesiser that we can play making the sounds. This sounds like what happens on a stage at 3am at a music festival when you were trying to sleep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. On that weird stage for the people that are still awake. Yeah, yeah. And next up, two blocks of oyster mushrooms. Give it up.

Yeah. Wow. And that's them. So they don't just talk. This is them playing a modular synthesizer, more of a musical composition. Is this confronting for vegans? Maybe. Can't cabbages talk too?

They talk to each other. Cabbages? Yeah. You're not thinking of rhubarb? Someone's tuned into our show this morning and been like, wow. I hear you, cabbages. You don't think of rhubarb? No, you know, rhubarb grows so fast it squeaks.

Oh, right. Yeah, scientists have been able to eavesdrop on conversations between two cabbages. Tell me more. Because cabbages. Tell me more. Because cabbages have an Irish accent. Mmm, doody. Experiment proved. I would have thought a cabbage would have been a Russian. A potato would have an Irish accent, but a cabbage would be like...

The experiment proved that plants can actually talk to each other. What were they saying? What are vegans gonna eat what is it wow okay so they're communicating in some way yeah just like the oyster mushrooms because when they pushed them close together they definitely talked more yeah oh hey you're in my space hey hey hey you seem like a fun guy. Is that mushrooms? Oh, yeah. Is that mushrooms?

Yeah. Fungi. Fungi, yeah. You seem like a fun guy. Yeah, you don't need to explain it. So today's fact of the day is mushrooms make some pretty trippy music. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan. So Brittany is engaged. We just spoke about all the details with that. It will be her third time getting married. Beats me. Okay, yeah. At. Okay, yeah. Well, you're two. At the moment, yeah. Early days yet, though.

You're a spring chicken. Both, both, yeah. Brittany's going to be 40 in December. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, she's got exactly the same birthday as a friend of mine. That's how I remember. Yeah, and turning 40.

Wow. Did she marry Kay Fidd? She did, right? Yep. And then Jason Alexander. Kevin Fedeline from 2004 to 2007. Jason Alexander from 2004 to 2004. Yeah, those were

annulled a few hours later. That was the Whitechapel wedding in Vegas. Yeah, the drive-thru wedding. Yeah. And there are rumours that she was married to another guy that was part of her conservatorship, but they kept that all hush-hush. So it could be four. But that would be public record.

Yeah, but I think there are people rooting around in the public record and finding details of that. Rooting time. And she's called him her husband once. So I mean, it's three. Definitely it could be four. Right.

So, we wanted to know if there's anyone out there who can beat... Three engagements. Three engagements. Surely. Surely. Just engagements, right? Like, not marriages. I mean, at least you're not going through with it if it doesn't work out, right? Yeah.

Maybe you've gone through with a couple of them. Because, I mean, weddings are expensive if you can call it off beforehand. Wouldn't it get embarrassing after three? Wouldn't you just not want to get engaged? I don't know. I think that too, but then I think some people don't care. Nah. Because there are some

celebrities famously have been married like five or six times. Who was that guy from CNN? Remember that Larry King? Didn't he have like eight? Larry King got married a bunch of times. Liz Taylor. Yeah, Liz Taylor. She got married a lot. How many times has Jennifer

Lopez been engaged or married? Because she was engaged to Ben Affleck but they didn't get married. Called it off just beforehand. And then Mark Anthony and then A-Rod and they got engaged. You know when you're Googling and it pops you up with a little

picture of whoever. The related search topics. Yeah, this is all of Elizabeth Taylor's spouses. She married that guy twice. Richard Burton, she married twice. Eight. On different occasions. Conrad Hilton. Was he the Hilton guy? He was of the Hilton.

Paris Hilton's grandfather? Yeah. Yeah, so eight. Wow. I mean, I don't think anyone's going to beat eight. Jennifer Lopez has been engaged three times as well. Okay, is there anybody listening that knows of anyone here in New Zealand or yourself that's been engaged more than three times?

Serial engager. Surely not. But maybe someone's got an auntie or an uncle or a grandparent that's done it like five times. If you didn't go through with it, if you got engaged and didn't go through with it, and it wasn't because somebody was cheating, when did you change your mind?

Because that was always my big thing. I wasn't going to ask Sade to marry me before I was like... Sure. 100% sure it was going to be for the longest of times. Yeah, but everyone who gets engaged is sure at the time. Well, you were sure the first time, weren't you? Yeah. Well, that took way too long to answer.

That took way too long to answer. I like how you brought up a point and then couldn't even back it up yourself. Everyone who gets engaged is sure at the time.

No, I mean the proposer. What about you? You're like, what? I mean the proposer. No, but that's what I'm saying.

Yeah, right. Is to be, what's it like to be proposed to when you, and say yes when you have no intention

of being with that person forever. Can anybody beat Britney Spears engaged now three times? And it could be possibly fourth if you listen to the rumours. The conspiracy theories, yes. Yeah. Messages in.

Yes, it turns out some people can beat that. Someone said, does it count if it's the same person three times? Yeah, that's even crazier. Really, isn't it? She actually called off the engagement and then got re-engaged. And then did it again. Same ring? Yeah. New ring or different ring? Yeah, you're surely

recycling the ring. Sell the ring, get another ring. This is an expensive lesson each time. It's an expensive hobby. My brother-in-law has. He's a serial proposer until he met his one and they're never going to. Oh, wow. They're not going to get engaged.

Lacey, your grandfather, how many times has he been married? Lacey. Can you hear me now? Yes. Did you just mute the phone with your cheek? No, I don't know what happened. I was connected to my car, but apparently it doesn't want to work. Ah, right.

Okay, so how many times has your granddad been married? Four times. Four times. Wow, how many proposals is that? A four from four? Yeah, so he had four. So my grandma, and then he was with another woman who I never met before I was born. And then most of my childhood, he was with his third wife.

And when I was a teenager, they split up. And a couple of years ago, he got married again. Oh, wow. And you think this one will be around for a while? Seems to be doing a trade-in every 10 years, doesn't it? Yeah, it's like the car, you know, you want to get the Ks down. Lacey, thanks for your call. Keep your messages coming in.

Some great stories. I like this absolute dob. And ring my mate Jared. He's just broken up with his fourth fiancée and never been married. Poor old Jared's been outed by that against his will. Brittany is engaged for the third time. So we wanted to know if there was some serial engagers

out there who could beat three times. Jess, how many times? So it was someone I was actually engaged to. He had been married prior to me, engaged prior to me, and then engaged to me, and then he's been engaged twice after me. And I haven't been listening to him. Oh, my God. So how many times all up?

Probably four engagements in one marriage. Wow. Maybe he just feels like he falls in love easily. I think so. Is he one of those people that rushes into things? Yes, yes, I think so. It's like a source in relationships.

Wow, amazing. Jess, thanks for your call. Matthew, this was your dad. How many times did he get engaged? My old man's been married twice, but engaged five. Oh, he's had the record so far. He's proposed like seven times then. Or no, five all up.

That's only from when I was born. Right, five all up. Five all up. So two of them became marriages. Wow. Right, okay. Oh, somebody's mum is the same. They just messaged him.

Mum's been engaged five times and married twice. Okay, but we still can't. Thanks, Matt. Some messages in. We got some Instagram responses on the topic. Mum's been engaged six times, married three. She's currently single. She's our winner so far.

No, she's not. Oh, that was short-lived. No, she's not. Yeah, it was short-lived. No, she's not. Yeah, it was like when you're the world's oldest person. Yeah. It's a short-lived, right?

Yeah. Someone said, my auntie's been married three times. She even managed to get married once without her boyfriend finding out about it

and been engaged eight times. Oh, wow. Eight times. My ex-wife got engaged three times in the five years after we split up. So while it might not be your biggest total, in five years, three times is pretty good.

Yeah. You'd feel better about that, too, if they were that much of a train wreck. After you've broken up with them. They just might fall hard, you know? Yeah. My auntie has been engaged eight or nine times. There's debate whether or not she believes the ninth one actually happened, but the rest of the family does.

She's been married four or five times. Yeah. One of them just so he could live here in New Zealand. Oh, okay. So does that count? I was like, yeah, that counts, I think. Yeah. The other day, someone stents it on a power box near my house.

Anita's been engaged four times. Be careful. No one in the neighborhood knows who Anita is. Oh, my God. Anita. It might not be Anita's fault. She's a common denominator, but, I mean. Someone said, don't call me.

I've been engaged six times. Okay, that's cool. We won't. We won't call. There's no judge here. No. We won't call. Well, apart from before when Fletch was calling them all train wrecks.

That came across a little judgy. That did come across quite judgmental. We won't call. Well, apart from before when Fletch was calling them all train wrecks. That came across a little judgy. That did come across quite judgmental. Charlotte, good morning. Good morning. Now, how many times has mum been engaged? Engaged five times, and she's on her fourth marriage. Oh, wow. How's the fourth one going?

Well, I mean, it's going. It's, yeah. Are we not, I feel like she has like a seven-year stint. Oh, so she gets the seven-year rich. Yeah, I'm sure of it. I'm sure of it. And it has been known, like a couple of, you know, her friends have said,

oh, she's, you know, she's getting close now, you know. Yeah, do you, does it work out for you though? Do you get like great presents from the guy trying to be your new dad? No. No, I just, I can't even, like it's just like, it's terrible, but it's not even, I don't even see them as like a father figure or anything. I'm just like, oh yeah, you know, here's the next one type thing.

Like it should have been, it shouldn't be like that, but it's the truth. It's like, okay, you know, I don't really know what to think about this. I'm just going to carry on. Are the weddings getting less and less extravagant or what are they? Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. I think the last one was at a pub, you know, like it was... This is what's going to happen, Megan,

when you end up going for your... Third or fourth? Fourth, fifth toy boy, yeah. Charlotte, thanks so much for sharing. Any messages to finish up on? Can anyone beat that? My mum's been engaged nine times, married four times. Wow.

Dad's been engaged six times, married four times. Do all these people give back the rings? That's what I should have asked. Otherwise mum's got nine rings. My ex loves being in love. He was married once, but he's engaged to every girlfriend before and after.

Two before me and three after. And I was the only one who said no. Oh, wow. He's really like, what? Are you allowed to say no? No one else said no.