ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 15th April 2021

Episode Date: April 14, 2021

Yummy Yummy: Liquorice Toffee Pops  Top 6: Hidden Board Games  Hayleys Confrontation  What names were ruined for you?  Shallow Dive: MLM  August had a Day  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleet, Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Buy five McCafe coffees and get one free on the Maccas app. Just about to head off for the day. You two got another gym date? Off to the gym together? No, we had a gym date yesterday and we're actually, I think we, I'm having a rest anyway because we both got injuries yesterday, didn't we?

We did. There was a moment, we did the spin class that we've been doing again and there was just a moment where we looked at each other and it's like simultaneously we both had an unfortunate event occur. With our genitals. What sort of gym class are you going to? So no, on the bike you do these things

where you stand up and you're like pedal, pedal, pedal, pedal and then you have to sit down for like two seconds and then pedal, pedal, pedal, pedal and then sit down and up and up and down and up. Yeah. And I squashed a ball. I was going to say a bit of a ball squash.

And I was in pain. It was the left ball. And I just said, and then when that finished, I said to Hallie, I was like, oh my God, I just sat on my ball. Ouch. And she said. Oh, I've just nipped a lip. Okay.

So you did the same thing. I'm wondering why you guys aren't investing in some cycling shorts. You're doing a lot of the cycling class. Get a nice padded chamois. Oh, because they look silly. I know. I saw a guy in there yesterday with cycling shorts and his clippity cloppy shoes. Oh, I know.

Get out of town. But you can wear shorts over top of them that will hide the fact that you're wearing shorts. No. It's not the shorts pad the bum. I was having a lip error, so. No, on the female, it comes all the way through. Oh, does it? Yeah.

Because the error was my choice of, I had little. Lip error. I had little shorts on, little high-waisted stretchy shorts. Yeah. And underneath, I had, this is very revealing, but this is for our potty listeners, so it's okay. Okay, it's fine, yeah. I had worn just a G-banger, which is usually what I go for.

Oh, no, no, no. So I rushed into the class because I was late, wasn't I? Yeah, you were. And Fletcher sat on my bike and everything. So I rushed in and I didn't have time to sort of adjust it all and get it going. And on I went. And very quickly the G-string proved utterly useless. Oh, yeah.

And it kind of slipped away to the side. And so when I stood up and I sat down, everything was just sort of everywhere. I actually had an embarrassing moment because Hayley was late. And you have to book in these classes like a few days out and they're sought after. And so I was there with Brad from work as well and we saved you a bike. And then we were like, oh, my God. Like, the lady was like, okay, we're getting underway in 30 seconds, and I'm like, where's Hayley?

And this lady walks in wearing her hair exactly like you do, and I was like, ah! And she was like, look at that. It wasn't her. And she was, like, older than you, too, and I, like, confused you. I confused you. Okay, well, the studio is very dark.

It was very dark, in my defense, and she had exactly the same color hair and wore it up in a bun. And I was like, ah. And actually did look a lot like you. Was she ripped? Yeah, she was ripped. She was ripped. Yeah, she was ripped.

Could have been me. Could have been me. She was hobbling through because she was putting a G-string out of her asshole before she had to go into a gym class. I've learned my lesson now. I know exactly what I need to wear next time to avoid this kind of mishap. You guys should seriously buy a small tenureship in a spin class. And I had bike shorts and it was a game changer. I will not.

No ball squash. No, because your bulge is all out. No, you wear a pair of running shorts over the top. Who's got time for that? Guys, I can't recommend it enough. I'm looking online now for some If I crush another ball or if this is

a regular thing, I may look into it. No, 100%. I'm a hard no. I'm not doing that. Get a shirt with Subway written on it and join the Tour of Southland. I might put a banana in my back pouch. I might take a spare tube. I'm going to get one of those water packs that come straight through my mouth.

Yeah, glucose package your way. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fleece, Fawn and Megan with Hayley Sproud. Do you know what? What? Rachel Jackson-Lees, who normally reads the news, it's her birthday today. And she's got it off. She's bloody taken the bidet off.

I was just making coffee in the kitchen. I booted open the newsroom door, aggressively as I do, to say happy birthday. Absolutely scared the shit out of William Tariti. He's like, what's this shaved head white guy here for? I was like, ah, people, sorry, I thought you were Rachel. But that didn't excuse my aggressive behaviour at this time of the morning. Is that a new thing that the company's running?

You get your birthday off? Because I didn't know about this. Is it a half day on your birthday? But it just gets added to your days of holiday. I don't know. Unless you actually take it off. When are your birthdays? Well, mine's June 23. Right.

You just had yours and you didn't get a day off, did you? Yeah. February 20. No, but God, they don't call me the lynchpin for nothing. They don't call Vaughan Smith workhorse for nothing. Vaughan Smith. Integral part of the show, lynchpin. Speaking of birthdays, let's start the day right with a horoscope.

Oh, no. Fletcher's horoscopes lately have just been like, oh, gosh, you're great. Every day, his is better than mine. Vaughn attempts to read us our horoscopes every day.

We just roll our eyes and just don't listen. I don't believe in any of this stuff. I just find it's funny. Yeah, mine's super wishy-washy. That's the key. Chase your dreams. Yeah, yeah's super wishy-washy. Oh, that's the key. Chase your dreams.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Today's the day. Make a decision. Cancer, it's better not to assume the intentions of others as many act unintentionally and many more have intentions you would never guess. Therefore, it would be pointless to waste thought on. That's your one.

You're Libra, eh? Yeah, hit me. Libra, you're not trying to change anyone Well you are True it would be rather convenient for you If they did change But there are plenty of Unremarkably

Remarkably accessible people out there Who already embody what you need That's absolutely Are they telling me to leave my partner? I'll do it Or change it I'll do it My one says

There are people who make you feel good and people you don't. People who refer to you as the linchpin and those who have no idea how crucial you are to the running of the company.

That's not what it says at all. Great work Pisces, we're all linchpins. That is not what it says. Coming up on the show, the top six. Yeah, somebody pulled back

some carpet and found like a room-sized Monopoly board as the floor of this house that they're renovating. It's amazing. Yeah. So I've got the top six other games that are probably hidden in your house somewhere. All right.

Your chance to win this morning, 8 o'clock, we start Add to Cart. We've got amazing prizes in the cart. You've just got to jot down across the day the items that we add to the cart, and then be the first caller through at five to win all of them. Next, though, Vaughan. Yeah, I've got a bit of a message for you, Vaughan. Uh-huh. It's about your teeth.

Oh. We discovered that Vaughan hasn't been to the dentist in quite a while, and turns out that— Ten—how many years? Ten. Ten years. Minimum. And it turns out the repercussions might not just be for your teeth.

I've got some shocking news for you, Matt. It's for everybody as well. It's for everyone. Yeah. But I'm directing it specifically to Vaughan. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM.

My mum used to always say to me, you only get one set of teeth. Which is already wrong because you get two, don't you? Yeah, naturally. You get two waxes at it. And also you can get implants. So Patsy was way wrong. She's two, don't you? Yeah, naturally. And also you can get implants. So Patsy was way wrong. She's dumb, isn't she? Yeah.

She knew nothing when I was growing up. You know nothing, Patsy Smith. But I've always had dental health drilled into me, literally sometimes, my whole life. I had braces. I had all sorts of, you know, I feel like I've got bad teeth. Well, no, they look great, but they look good now, don't they? They look great.

I know, but I've spent thousands on them. Right. But I don't have those teeth that just sort of naturally look after themselves. My wife's got those teeth. Never had a filling. Yeah. Never had braces. Yeah, see, I've had the lot.

Yeah. I've had them straightened twice. I think every tooth's got a filling. I do have a bit of a sweet tooth, though. Yeah, see I've had the lot. I've had them straightened twice. I think every tooth has got a filling. I do have a bit of a sweet tooth though. But gum disease which comes from not flossing or not going to the dentist very often and not getting your teeth checked

Vaughan Smith. Gotcha. Is now linked to the cause of Alzheimer's disease which is... It's the same bacteria that cause tooth decay have been linked, right? Yeah, indeed. So the more of that bacteria you have, the more... They're saying it sort of lies within the chronic inflammation.

So the more of this bacteria, the more inflamed your teeth are. Right. And chronic inflammation then causes this thing to go to this thing and this thing and it's all linked to Alzheimer's. So 10 years not go to the dentist. You floss though, eh? Regularly. You're a regular flosser. I'm a big flosser. Yeah. I floss so hard I broke the flossy handle.

Oh, yep. I've used it so much. Oh, wow. Right. Yeah. So 10 years no filling. Yeah. No pain though. Yeah, but you've got a temporary crown. Yeah, and I love that pink mouthwash. It's hard to come by. It's the yummy pink mouthwash.

Is it Plax? Plax. I think it's Plax. There's a pink mouthwash. That's more expensive, the pink one. I don't know. I use the red one. What's the red one?

What's the red one? Optic white. Optic. Optic white. Now you want to get into this pink one. What's the red one? What's the red one? Optic white. Optic. Optic white. Now, you want to get into this pink one. It's yummy, which makes me more prone to mouthwash. This is a cheap $4 one, and only when it's $4. The one I've got at the moment, because the pink one wasn't in,

I got the bamboo charcoal something. Oh, okay. The pan is hanging around my place, out of control. Scratch at the bathroom door. I'll be like, okay, and then I'll be, the panda's hanging around my place, out of control. Scratch at the bathroom door. I'll be like, okay, and then I'll just pour a little bit in their mouth and then they'll like potter off back to the bamboo forest. I can smell like sharks. I can smell a drop of

bamboo in the water a mile away. Bamboo fibre, bamboo with juice. I come from a brown Listerine family. You know, the like, the boony one. Oh my god! It was like, it was supposed to look like golden-y, right? But it always looked brown. It looks like waves.

It's like 20 times stronger. Yeah. I can't do Listerine. It just burns my mouth like. It is insane. It's insane. The brown one is, when I was a kid, I was always like. My parents love it.

Right. And it says on the side, do not dilute. I remember when I was a kid, I'd like fill the cap up with water and then just add a little bit of Listerine and Dad's like, it says do not dilute. And that's how I learned what the word dilute meant. Right, okay. Yeah, they don't sell it at every supermarket.

It's so intense. It's almost on the black market. Yeah, right. So I found it. This is it, eh? Yeah, that's it. Like a golden brown. Looks like a dehydrated market. Yeah, right. So I found it. This is it, eh? Yeah, that's it. Like a golden brown. Looks like a dehydrated wee.

Yeah. And it burns like one too. And its flavour is antiseptic. So it's basically Ajax. It looks like your Sunday morning wheeze after a night drinking. Yeah, it does indeed. That's what it looks like.

Mix that with Dettol and you've got brown Listerine. So you're doing most of it right, Vaughn. You've just got to get to the dentist because it's been 10 years. Yeah, and you've got to do the deep cleanings. I see a hygienist twice a year and they get out all the stuff that you cannot get. Not because you're not brushing or flossing good enough, but because it's impossible.

You can't get in there, yeah. I want to get one of those, have you seen the infomercials, those little water pistol tooth things? Oh, the water flossers. I want one. Do they work? I don't know. I don't know because I've got tight teeth. Yeah. Really tight. And wires on the back as well. So

flossing is a nightmare. You've got to use these like threaders. Right. To thread the thing through because you can't just go up and under because there's a wire blocking it. It's a nightmare. What's the wire there for? Keep them straight. My teeth like to move. I've got short roots. Oh goodness. Oh god. Short roots. My name's Hayley Spr move. I've got short roots. Oh, goodness. Oh, God.

Short roots. My name's Hayley Sproul. I've got short roots. Anyway, so they're saying deep cleaning. You've got to get into it. All right. Otherwise, Alzheimer's. Are you forgetting anything?

All the time. All the time. See? Yes. Get to the dentist. We'll get you there one day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

Well, yesterday, an embarrassing moment for some Air New Zealand passengers checking in for flights, including the lovely Hilary Barry, who took to Twitter. A lot of people take into Twitter and social media. She's just a bloody regular news creator these days. Oh, yes. They were interviewing Richard Hadley when the Fifty Shades of Grey book was in the background.

She'll have a comment on something and it becomes a news story. Yeah, well, people love her, don't they? When are we going to give her a blimmin' knighthood? A lady, a dame. What do you call it? A knighthood. A knighthood? Yeah, dame, Hilary Baird.

Absolutely, she deserves it. Give it to her. Well, in New Zealand yesterday, and this is something they have to do, I didn't know this, every five years as part of the regulations, they have to do a passenger and crew weight survey. So when you book this flight, do they tell you first?

They just pick a day randomly, and then when you go to the airport and check in, they will ask you to stand on the scales with your carry-on baggage. So the idea is, and you might not know this, Hayley, Vaughn knows this, I'm a huge fan of the TV show Air Crash Investigation. Right. The number of times that planes have been undistributed with their weight. Right, across this Aliyah.

Yeah, no, exactly, her plane was overloaded. So I just feel like for a lot of people, weight is an anxiety. So does it say the number? It doesn't flash the weight up anywhere. Hillary said there was no display of the weight anywhere. It just went into their computer. So it's completely random. And knowing my luck, this would have been me checking in

because I always go way over on the carry-on bags. What, you're not sitting at just seven kgs? No, but I don't know if they were pinging anyone for that. I think they were just purely doing it as a... Oh, they're not Jetstar. No, they were just doing it as an exercise to work out the average passenger weight. Now, the average passenger weight,

now this was from a story in a few years ago, 85.4 kgs. 2003 was the average passenger weight. Now, 2003? We as New Zealanders are getting fat, right? Let's be honest, we're one of the third

in some lists, we're some of the we're in the top five, aren't we? And we're also absolutely taking the piss with our carry-on, and that weight includes carry-on. So I'd be really interested. Can we official information request this? Why don't you compile the data or will they just tell us? Oh, my God.

We're the third fattest country in the world. Yeah. Behind Mexico and the US still? Yes. Yeah. I know. And so this is why they're doing it, because they need to work out the average plane weight.

Wow. I would be, I mean, yeah, I've pushed the limit a lot of times. You know how Jetstar now weighs it? Every flight they weigh it. I'll do that. I didn't know that. Yeah, so anytime I've flown Jetstar in the last year or something, I've had to pay $60.

They just ping you. Holy. I know. And then, but Air New Zealand doesn't do it. So anytime I'm on Air New Zealand, I'm cramming about 15 kgs into that. Don't you say it out loud because now they will do it. They'll be on to you.

Yeah, but it's distributed between multiple things. I feel like if they found out my carry-on bag was 15 kgs instead of seven, I'd say something like, do you remember all that taxpayer bailout we gave you just last year and just last week? I'm sure the person on check-in has a wide, vast knowledge of taxpayer bailouts. I think it was close to a billion dollars.

Yeah, and that came out of my pay. Yeah, you can't just let this slide. 5 kgs. And welcome to In New Zealand Training. And if somebody wants a second cookie and you say no and then they throw in your face

that the company was bailed out by the taxpayer, give them the second cookie. It's the secret to doing whatever you want. Fletchvorna Megan, the podcast, ZM.

Yummy, yummy. Or today it might be yucky, yucky, yuck. I don't know who you asked, but the consensus in this room is yucky, yucky. So, yummy, yummy, a segment of the show where we take a look at new food items hitting the shelves in New Zealand or new food trends. I would put Toffee Pops, probably. I'd put Toffee Pops in a top five biscuit position. Do you know, I love their caramelised, it's like a caramilk.

Yeah. That's delicious, that one. It is like a caramel, isn't it? There's a fudge. Is it Toffee Pop's fudge? No, it's caramelized whatever it is, white caramelized. Salted caramel? Yeah.

That's really yum. Well, there's a fudge. That looks all right. Okay. But this one's... Now, normally you get a PR release But they've just gone I feel like we did get a PR release right Because I saw it and I was like

And then oh What you're trying to say is normally we get sent some No I think they did I think they did well to read the room That it was probably not going to be the greatest thing to send to us Because Toffee Pops Have a licorice special edition out.

I assume Dutch people right now are absolutely rubbing their clogs together. Because you know how Dutch people love those really salty licorice lollies? Yeah, because they do. Dutch licorice, isn't it? So what is it?

It's chocolate and then you've got your biscuit base. The biscuit base. Is that caramel or is that just the caramel? No, that's the part that's licorice. It's like a gooey licorice inside where the caramel would be. Oh, absolutely. I don't know if it's because the image looks black and tart. It just looks like tart coming out of a biscuit.

No, it's because it's licorice and licorice is yuck. It just looks yuck. Licorice is the grossest. But see, I love licorice all sorts. But I, it's because it's licorice, and licorice is yuck. It just looks yuck. Licorice is the grossest. But see, I love licorice all sorts, but I think it's because there's so much delicious lolly. Sugary candy around it. Yeah, that you don't... What is the non-licorice part of a licorice all sorts?

It's just like a... Sugar. Sugar. But it's like soft. Yeah, it's like a nougat, really, wouldn't it? Wouldn't you say it's like a lolly nougat? I don't know. It's a slightly firm nougat, you're right.

But it's coloured in super candy light. And it's yum. Like, RJ'sat? A slightly firm nougat, you're right. But it coloured in super candy-like. And it's yum. Like, RJ's licorice all sorts are amazing. They're the best. RJ's raspberry log with the choccy in the middle. With a chocolate tube insertion. Who did the red licorice with the sherby down the middle? The sherbet streak.

Oh, that's Willy Wonka. Is that Willy Wonka? They're sherbalicious. But not too much. And please remember if you are eating licorice, especially black licorice, because your purse is going to be pitch black and you're going to think you're dying.

Who is running the factory now? The licorice factory? The Willy Wonka factory. Charlie. Charlie. But that was years ago. Well, Charlie's kids probably. He hasn't been bought out by somebody?

No, no, Charlie pulled the ladder up behind him. He came from poverty, but he's like, well, I pulled myself up by the bootstraps by randomly finding 50 cents in the gutter and then buying a golden ticket and inheriting a factory. Why can't everybody do that? Right. Do you guys want the real answer?

And he's against minimum wage, which is ironic. Well, he doesn't pay to pull up or anything. He's not going to save you from those creatures that eat you. He's a different person. The real answer is Nestle. Oh, okay. Yeah. How much did Charlie get then? I don't know. They would have bought him out a huge amount. Charlie Bucket will be sitting on some

island in the Caribbean, feet up. Yeah, 1988. So he probably would have been around still. So he'd be, what, 17 now? Yeah, he will be. He'll be sitting in Karuba having a rubbing coat. He's pretty good at a vial around his neck with all four of his grandparents' ashes

sort of compressed into a diamond. That's the sort of rich, crazy shit he'd be doing. No, I reckon Grandpa Joe's there with him. Grandpa Joe... Still kicking. Yeah, doing nothing all his life. He probably wasn't even that old when he was stuck in bed for 20 years.

No, he just needed some sunshine. Well, licorice toffee pops are now a thing. No! I've been reading a lot about the UK's situation. They've had pubs opening up recently for the first time in like a year. I know. I've had friends that have gone along and they're all over like Instagram just like, we're at the pub.

And you're just like, I've been there all year. Yeah, I know. So the big thing was draft beer, like having beer from a keg. Yes. The British who love it. I like it. We haven't been able to do it for a year. Yes.

So they go down to the news crew, went down to the pub, and this guy's sitting there and they're like, oh, you're about to have your first beer for the year. He's like, yeah, can't wait. And opens a bottle of Corona and pours it into a glass. And they're like, you've been able to do that all year. Oh my gosh. He's like, oh, it tastes so good.

They're like, it's exactly the same beer you've been able to access all year. Yeah. What about having it from the keg? He's like, oh, they don't have Corona on the keg. I was like. Oh my gosh. Britain, everyone in Britain is just like that guy. Yeah.

No, well, this is the thing that people were so excited to get back to. Yeah, different drinks, draft beer, the environment of a pub. Seeing their friends. The social elements. Yeah. Seeing their friends. Being able to sort of be amongst, yeah, the hubbub of a busy pub. Are they all going to be messed up, like, in a few years?

Like, they've been locked up for a whole year. Well, I thought you meant on the first night out. Well, and that too. Yeah, I know. I mean, the long-term effects of it. Like, all the social anxiety. Like, there would have been people freaking out that they were even allowed to go into, like, an environment with lots of people.

I feel like there's going to be lots of studies from, like, now into the future about the impact of this lockdown. Yeah. Hate to think about it. We've come out mostly unscathed, haven't we? But there's lots of people talking about the theory that you tend to get drunker or feel drunker when you're out rather than when you're at home. And this even is like, yes, when you're at home having a glass of wine with dinner or if you're out on the res with your friends. But also if you're having a big night at home or a big night out,

you tend to feel drunker when you're out. And there's lots of theories going around as to why this is as the UK preps to go out and start to feel a bit larder. One of the reasons is the environmental change. So when you're at home, when you've had a few drinks, you can navigate yourself to your bedroom for a sleep. You can navigate yourself to the toilet quite easily. Whereas when you sit yourself in a pub when you've had a few drinks, you can navigate yourself to your bedroom for a sleep. You can navigate yourself to the toilet quite easily. Whereas when you sit yourself in a pub

and you've had the same amount of drinks, you're going, where's the loo? Where's the door? Where's my friends? Where's my table? That's a good point because I can navigate in the dark to my toilet from my bedroom. Just autopilot.

I know exactly how many steps. You just do it. Yeah, and you know the walls to feel to make sure that you're getting the right spots. Absolutely. Second theory is you probably are a bit drunker when you're out because of the types of drinks you're drinking. So at home, typically

you might have your bottle of wine or your six pack of beers. You're probably not ordering Zambuca shots at home. No. And there's always that thing when you're out at the pub and you're like, we'll just have a couple of brews and then someone's got shots. There's always shots. And there's always that thing when you're out at the pub and you're like, we'll just have a couple of brews. Yep. And then someone's got shots.

There's always shots. So that's another theory as to why you might feel drunk when you're out is because you are drunker because you're drinking shots of Zambuca. Right, yeah. Drinking different. Yeah. Another one is when you're at home, there might be food in your pantry,

whereas when you're at the pub, you might forget to order food and you have the night without some dinner. Yeah, okay. Thus, you feel a bit drunker. Another one is that it's like the roll-on effect of sound and noise and being around other people. Like the atmosphere.

Allows your mental state to accept drunkenness because you're surrounded by the social situation. There's been studies on that, right? Like people have literally given 0% beer, but not told. And then they start acting inebriated after like four or five of them, but they're not at all. They're totally sober, but just atmospherically, they've allowed themselves to join in with everybody else at a social level.

Yeah, exactly. It's called accepting mental drunkness, which does make sense. Right. I'm all for it. So, yeah, it could be that you are drunker or it could just be your environment that is making you feel drunker while you're out at a bar. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM.

From the majestic ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. Yeah. A Monopoly board was discovered by some people renovating a house. They pulled back the carpet and the whole floor was a giant Monopoly board. Was it like a giant painted on the floor Monopoly board? Very cool. I'm cool with that B.A. In a kid's room or something, like a playroom.

Yeah. That'd be so fun. Hard to flip the whole board when it's to the floor, though. Hard to be like, you'd have to go around kicking everything over, being like, no more, no more. Or just set the whole room on fire when your brother wins. Take that. What's your token of choice?

Because I don't know how this was drilled into me at a young age, but I'm an iron. Oh, I like the iron because the iron sat nice and flat. It's nice. Probably car was my first choice. The top hat was the top hat one? Yeah, top hat was one. Actually, we had a bit of a buzz show when our

game pieces were those little plastic chess pieces. Yeah, they were like a You just weren't a nice weighted putery metal. No, we had an old school Monopoly. Oh, babe. I know.

Do you need to borrow some money? Just send me your account details. Yeah, okay. If you could just buy me a new Monopoly, that would be great. But I don't want the EFTPOS Monopoly. I want a cheat. No, no. We've got the Kiwi Monopoly.

Okay. You know, where it's like the fancy streets are Kiwi names. Yeah, Queen Street and stuff. That was the one we grew up with, the New Zealand edition. Yeah, right. D Street. And Invercargill. I always felt that was a bit too far up the board.

When I finally went to D Street in my 20s, I was like, this is not a green property. This shouldn't have been a green property. I feel like this shouldn't have been a green property. Okay. But yeah, if you just Google Monopoly board under carpet, you'll find the photos of it. It's literally the width and near length of the room.

You would have to pick up your pieces and walk them around. What's happening? What are you pointing at? Your boyfriend's here. Oh, the sleuth's goose. And his boyfriend says, sleuth's goose. She's just lounging in the studio. Get out of there and talk to that.

That lovely boyfriend is yours. Your shing in the studio. Get out of there and talk to them. That lovely boyfriend is yours. Your shingies meds. Sorry, guys, I'm distracted. I've got the top six other games that are probably hidden somewhere in your house. Okay. Number six on the list of those games is Connect Four and the Lounge Wall.

Oh, imagine that. Yeah. Oh, my God. You know those mid-century houses that had those dividing walls that were like grids and they would put display things on them? Yeah, but it was just a separate room. Yeah, just a separate room, but this would be...

It got to the 2000s and people were like, we could walk through there and need a little bit of open flow. Open living. And they took them down. They weren't weight-bearing at all, but you could totally have a connect floor. I feel like any of these you're describing could be a Google office. Oh, yeah.

A cool Google office. Pods. What's that office in Wellington and they've got the slides and stuff? Oh. Yeah, they've got

the fancy office and everyone's like, over the road from that ticker of the stock market that ticks around the top of that down on the waterfront. They've got slides and stuff.

Always wanted to go in there. Can you just go in there? Probably not. This is a pretty fancy building. Where's our slides? There needs to be a slide. Imagine seeing the CEO go, wee, past the window. Just love to get a coffee.

Wee. Fogsy. I'd love to see a big slide. That'd be great. Fogsy down a slide. Wee. That'd be good fun. Number five on the list of the top six other games that are probably hidden somewhere in

your house. Risk in the bedroom. There's always a bit of risk in the bedroom. But pull back the carpet and declare war on all your loved ones by playing a game of Risk, another game that never ends kindly. Yes. Number four on the list of the top six games that are probably hidden somewhere in your house, Pictionary.

And look at the map, Pictionary. Could be any wall of the house, couldn't it? Yeah. That game doesn't end well in your house either. I honestly don't know if we've ever played Pictionary. There is a Pictionary aspect to Cranium. Yeah, which,

yeah, that's what I'm thinking of. Which is banned in our house. Yeah, Aaron's family loves a bit of Cranium and that's one where it's like, it could be Play-Doh, it could be, yeah. Yeah, you can just pick it out

or you could have to hum a tune or do an impression. Yeah, but see, you're an actor, Aaron's an actor, are his family a theatrical family? It's not fair.

Right, because you guys go together and smoke it. Yeah. We give Oscar nominee performances. Yeah, yeah. BAFTAs are handed out regularly at a game of cranium. Number three on the list of the top six other games that are probably hidden somewhere in your house, Battleship in the Bathroom.

Oh, yeah, nice. Like actual in the bath. In the bath. Just the old lawn bowl set that you inherited from your grandparents into water. Great big splashes.

You might smash your bath though so don't do that and then blame me. It'd be cool to make one of those, you know those things you put over the bath like a nice remu board

and you put your wine in it and just also have some battleships in the middle and then some cheese on the side. A battleship with a loved one. Yeah. And play some battleship. sexy bath with a loved one. Yeah. And play some battleship.

Oh, yeah, one at 18. Yeah. And then when you sink them, you have to, like, splash them. Splash them. Splash them with water in their face. Splash them romantic. Number two on the list of the top six other games that are probably hidden somewhere in your house. Scrabble in the lawn.

Yeah, nice. Okay. Just shave some different things and put a triple word score and you've got some Scrabble in the lawn. Yeah, nice. Okay. Just shave some different things and put a triple word score and you've got some Scrabble in the lawn. And number one on the list of the top six games that are probably hidden somewhere in your home. This one, it is your home. You could play a real-life game of Cluedo.

Oh, yeah, okay. And kill someone. Yeah, someone could be dead. And where were they found? Who did it? What was the murder weapon? That's up to you to solve. That's just a murder investigation

yeah unless you're living in a studio apartment and then it's a pretty easy game to work out yeah who's dead because you can see them

yeah and where it happened it was in the room yeah death in the room that is today's top six ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan

the podcast Seaspiracy it's the doco of the hour, isn't it? There's always one going around that people are like, you've got to watch this. Have you seen David Attenborough? Have you seen this? Seaspiracy is that film at the moment.

It's on Netflix, and it explores the environmental impact of fishing. And a recent survey that asked people if they've seen it, have they considered giving up fish since watching the doco, 43% said yes. That's quite an impact. And how many of those have actually given up fish?

Because you know, people feel bad for a week Right up until they can't be bothered cooking on a Friday night, and a sweet allure of fish and chips on the floor while watching the repair shop drags them back in. Right. It was about 10,000 people

that completed the survey. So it's a small amount but it's so clear with that huge number of people that are genuinely impacted by the film that they're going to consider giving up fish. We ran a similar poll as well on our Instagram. Have you considered giving up fish?

It was pretty close. If you've seen it, has it made you consider giving up fish? 52% of people said yes and 48% said no way. And that's consider, that's not actually going through. Actually, yeah. So like a documentary that's caused 50% of its watchers to at least consider giving up fish. I mean, there's no follow-up yet.

It's too soon to know if people will actually commit to giving up the fishies. Like, let's ask in six months. Yeah. Months. Well, I watched five minutes of it. I sat down because I'm busy at the moment. I don't have the mental capacity for something like this. I was like, I'm going to watch it.

It's important. I'm going to watch it. Everyone's talking about it. And I lasted about five minutes. And then when I started to see the blood in the water, I was like, I'm going to watch it. It's important. I'm going to watch it. Everyone's talking about it. And I lasted about five minutes. And then when I started to see the blood in the water, I was like, I'm out. I'm out. And then I made fish tacos for dinner.

You what? I made fish tacos for dinner, but I already had the fish in the fridge. Right. Okay. So yeah, by not eating it, it would be wasteful. And then the fish has given up its life for nothing. It doesn't bring the fish back to life.

It doesn't change anything that's happened there. It's my same thoughts on animal furs from the 1800s. Like, if you're a grandma, it's not going to bring the mink back, is it? Exactly. If you've inherited it and it's 120 years old and it's made from polar bear, maybe pick and choose where you wear it,

but it's not going to bring the polar bear back by you throwing that away. No. Use every part of the animal. Yeah. Right. I recently went snorkeling in the Coromandel in one of the marine reserves where you're not allowed to fish.

Yep. And it was like the amount of snapper there and like old snapper. So you were telling me like where you can spot, they were like, oh, that snapper there is probably about 30 to 40 years old. Is that a good run? So that's like an elderly snapper. An elderly snapper. How do you spot an that snapper there is probably about 30 to 40 years old. Is that a good run? So that's like an elderly snapper. An elderly snapper. How do you spot an elderly snapper?

They're just massive and they're darker in colour. And they look like they're like, mmm. And someone's going to eat me. Someone fished me up. Someone ate me. For God's sake, someone ate me. Would they be good at when they get too old? I don't know anything about fishing.

And I don't claim to. But when they get too old, I don't know anything about fishing. And I don't claim to. But when they get too old, would they be good eating? You know how sometimes you leave something a bit long, it gets a bit chilly. Yeah, mutton's a great example. You've got to cook it long, low. I mean, low and slow, mutton can't be beaten. But, you know, it's not for everybody.

But it was just amazing to see, like, in New Zealand, the actual difference just between the shore. When you leave an area alone. When you leave an area alone, how fish can age and get older. There's lots of articles about seaspiracy written by marine biologists who don't agree with exactly what it's done. Has it been sensationalised? Yeah, wildly sensationalised, as a lot of Netflix documentaries do

and those sort of documentaries we all really buy into at the time. Remember that sugar documentary and you watched it and you wouldn't eat delicious treats and then two weeks later who had a crash and needed a binge? This guy.

I ate some chocolate bars. This is me every time I see a video from PETA. P-E-T-A. Yep. PETA pit. No.

Yeah. Just get that chicken. Gets you gagging for a rap. No but PETA like the protection ethics. Good treatment of animals. Yeah.

Every time I see a video of a pig in a cage or a crying chuck, I'm like, that's it. I'm vegan for life. But then mama cooks a leg of lamb. Yummy, yummy. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Don't smile at me. She's been in the neighbourhood two months and already her sixth or seventh run-in with the neighbours.

Your last house, your neighbours took that much offence and exception to you. They stood on your car and urinated in the air vents. Now, I know the listeners are going to be like, there's a common thread. I didn't say that. Look, I have been through my partying days and I know this is karma catching up with me.

I used to live in the party house when I was 20 years old. I was the noisy one with no consideration. I'm 31 now. I've learnt my lesson. Okay, but now you're doing your time. Yeah, so we live in a little place in a new area. Okay. We haven't lived in before.

Just give out the address. No. I'm not even going to give out the area. Okay. I see you Instagram followers. So, yeah, new area and off a main road. The main road is known for being a drag hotspot. So people, not the kind of drag I enjoy.

I was going to say like RuPaul. No, drag racing. There's a difference between Yas Queen and WAP. There is a very subtle difference. But the issue I have is not with my neighbours on either side. Lovely people. On the back fence, they helped us tear up our garden. Absolutely glorious.

In front of us, absolutely a wonderful lady. It's across the road where I take umbrage. It's like it's the parking spot for the boy racers. Okay. Where they like to measure who's got the loudest, crackliest revving. Okay. And then they obviously don't have a Yui Boom inside or some kind of Hey Alexa inside. Yeah.

So how they listen to their music is to park their boy racer cars on the lawn, play the music loud enough so they can be inside. Oh, right. And they leave all the doors open and the boot up. Yeah. Cool, man. That's cool, man. Cool, cool, cool, cool.

And the thing is, I can't even enjoy the music because you can't hear any of the music. It's not even that loud. It's just the bass. It's just the oink, oink, oink. And I live in kind of an old house with wooden windows. So it gives them a rattle. It gives them a bit of a rattle. Over the road, it makes your windows rattle.

Across the road. It's just that really like deep, reverby bassiness. Which would they even hear? They'd hear the bass inside their house, but would they even hear the music? I hate to think what their eardrums are happening. The only comeuppance will be they'll all have blood and tinnitus. Yeah.

The only winner here is Bay Audiology. It is indeed. It really is, yeah. But, you know, when it first happened, I was like, oh, no, okay. It's okay. It's okay. And I went over with just honestly the smile of an angel. Yeah.

And I went, oh, gosh, that bass really is doing a number on my house. I mean, I don just honestly the smile of an angel. And I went, oh gosh, that bass really is doing a number on my house. I mean, I don't mind the music at all. But if we could just pop the bass down, it would be great. And all friends, all friendly. And that was incident number one. That was incident number one. There was another one like that going, God, that must

be my house. But it's really, if we could just pop that bass down just an inch or two, it would be absolutely wonderful. The bass seems to have snuck back up. The bass sounds absolutely fine. I don't have an issue with the music. Third and fourth time, I ended up sending Aaron over. I thought, because they're all

boys, all lads. So I would have sent my six foot six hairy boyfriend over immediately. We'll send the big guy over. And then Aaron's like, well, I've already taken the role of bad cop. So Aaron's like, I'll be the nice guy. Aaron took a bottle

of rosé over and I was like, well, we've already... Boy racers don't drink rosé. They're like 500ml Monster Energy drinks. Yeah, and Codings or something.

But it's all we had. So we took it over and he said, look, you know, oh God, the missus, she's having a... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Good, good,

the bad guy here. About the fifth time I tried my classic, I've got a baby sleeping. Yeah. It's not about me. It's about the baby. Yeah. They must think I'm a terrible mother because I never see this kid. You always leave without the baby, too.

Yeah, exactly. And I've just, you know, I've just had enough. Yeah. I've just had enough. And then last night, there it was again. And I was riled up and I'm tired. And I said to Aaron, I'm so glad they've got that music going. I thought we'd have a night off.

Very snarky. And he goes, well, do you want me to go and do something? And I said, no, I don't. And then I tried to eat one more spoonful of my collie mash and I thought, I can't. Oh, see, that's the problem too. No, no, no. I take collie mash and be calm. And I just thought, I can't. Oh, see, that's the problem too. No, no, no, no. I take collie mash and be calm. And I just thought, I can't do it.

So I went outside in my trackies and my no bra and my jandals on. And they had two cars parked outside. One was backing out. And the other one was just parked on the street with the music blaring. And so I pushed my face right against the window. No one in the car. And I thought, oh, my God. And I thought, oh my God. And I said, and then the guy who lives there

came out a little bit and saw me. And I said, whose car is this? And he was like, oh, it's my mate's. And I was like, well, where is he? Because he's not in the car and the music's going. And he said, yeah, we'll just listen to the music. And I said, I'm so sick. I'm getting sick of this.

We have to put up with it every single night. The bass rattles my house and I'm getting, and I did use an F. I used an F. Wow. You're getting effed up. I used an F and an S in the same sentence. I said I'm F'ing getting sick of this S. Yeah. And then he looked at me

this guy and he said do you want to have a go? Oh what? What? Do you want to have a go? Do you want to have a go? He wanted to fight you. I was so taken aback that I just stormed off back inside. He was going to fight you.

I guess so. Was that the go? I guess so. The go was fisticuffs? Maybe. And then I thought I should have said yes and then waited to see what he would have done. I thought you were a whistle for Aaron. Big old six foot six.

Say yes, I'll get my six foot six boyfriend. And get Aaron to wear that get up. He wore that wedding recently with his new hat. He looks like the Undertaker from like WWE. Yeah, he does look a bit scary like that. Choke slam them through a couple of tables. I was so shocked. And then I went back inside and Aaron's like,

well, what did you say? I don't want to talk about it. Somebody has just messaged and said, this happened to them once. And for the stereo to go and the keys have got in the car, they literally got in the car and drove it away. They got in. Then you're going to get done for stealing someone's car.

I feel like I'll just embarrass myself because I feel a lot of boy racers are manuals and I'll get in and be like... You'll be like... Well, yeah, you want to see something? If I had to be on Tinder or Bumble or any of the dating apps, See something? ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If I had to be on Tinder or Bumble or any of the dating apps, I would have absolutely no game.

I haven't dated for 10 years since I was 21 years old. Okay. And at 19 and 20, I had all the confidence in the world, you know. I was just a wee young lass and I'd get out there and give anyone a go. Well, I was just out to say I read I'd get out there and give anyone a go. I was just out to say I read an article yesterday that syphilis is back. I'm terrified of anything. Any itchy or scratchy

down there. Anything like that. So I'd be out. So a magazine has released the top 10 Bumble pickup lines for women to get the conversation started. So, because Bumble women message first. Women initiate the engagement.

So, they can pick and choose who they message and they don't get like an undate with. You're waiting out the like, hey, nice rack. Yeah. So, you've got the top 10 that work on men. According to Bumble. Number 10. You're going to try them on us.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Hey, Fletch. I'm free Thursday at 7pm. Work for you? No. He's in bed by then. I'm in bed.

He's Eden. He's Eden. I've Eden by then. I eat at 5.36. I'm probably watching a show on Netflix. But I think this is about just being like, instead of going, hey, should we go on a date?

Being like, here's this. Right, okay. I'm going to lead this. Okay. Okay, so that didn't work. I would say something like, sounds good now, but most of the time,

you're probably not going to want to leave that house. I'm going to need an excuse on that Thursday morning to get out of this. Fine, Vaughan, coming to you. Number nine on the list. Hey there. Hey. What would you do if you won the lottery?

Half this crippling mortgage of mine. Okay, and I'm already out on that one. That's not really working for me. That's just sort of, you know, like a cute little fun conversation starter. Okay. All right, I'm going to come back to you, Fletch. Excuse me. Bless you.

That's my pick-up line. I'm out. He's got allergies I'm not dating him Number eight on the list Hey I've got a question for you Do you have pineapple on your pizza? Sometimes

Great Now the conversation's rolling It's off to a flyer It's playful It's funny It's humorous These are unexpected to me Jesus these people need help

I'm going to come back to you, Vaughan. One of these is going to land. One of these is going to land. We're moving up to number one. Yep. Seven. Send a picture of a lemon. Next line.

Sorry, I just couldn't think of an opening line. So you've sent me an emoji of a lemon. Yeah. But see, I'd be looking for the hidden meaning in the lemon. See, you're reading it as a lemon, mate. I would have sent a picture of a lemon. Yeah. But see, I'd be looking for the hidden meaning in the lemon. See, you're reading it as a lemon, mate. I would have sent a picture of a lime and said, here's my opening lime. Oh, that's way better.

That's better. That's way better. This person knows absolutely nothing, alright? Also, can you imagine if, let's put the boot on the other foot for a minute, if guys were using these as opening lines, we'd all be telling, like, ooh, yes, we'd be setting upon them. It's safe, because it's coming from women. Number

six. Okay, this is very UK oriented. It's Coachella or Glastonbury? I'm going to change it. Hey boy. One love or big day out? Neither. Big day out. Neither. The thought of crowds makes me wildly anxious.

God, this is hard to get a date. All right. Hey, Carl. Don't look at me like that. I've got a question for you. Mm-hmm. Do you have a spirit animal? That's my first.

That's the best one so far. That's the best one. Yeah, that is good. That is good. All right. Okay, so that's my conversation going. Then you'd be like, a cat. And they'd be like, a block.

Why? What's wrong with being a cat? It's super cute. It all smells poppy. It's not exciting. Say a tiger or something. Oh, yeah. Okay.

You'd go for a more exotic dragon. A rhinoceros. A rhinoceros. Because we kill a lot of humans every year. I feel like. I know you're thinking of a hippopotamus. Oh, a hippopotamus. I feel like what's getting confused here is the contract on Bumble is that we're flirting. Oh, right. So you have to. You've got to be into me. I feel like... I know you're thinking of a hippopotamus. Oh, a hippopotamus. I feel like what's getting confused here is the contract on Bumble

is that we're flirting. Oh, right. So you have to... You're going to be into me. I'm hot, remember? Okay. Number four. We're not giving you

a passcard just because you're hot with these shitty opening lines. Number four. Hey, Vaughn is it? Yep. Did Ross and Rachel ever really break up?

I don't know. Who are they? Okay, well, we're out. Oh, you mean friends. And then I'd reply, pivot. And then that's it. That's me. Now we're getting into the real cheese.

Okay. The real cheese. All right, this is back at you, Fletch. Do you like raisins or how about a date? I'm more of a sultana man. Raisins are too dry. But dates are like a big Sultana. How about a date?

No, I have a Sultana. Too many dates will give you the shits though. What is it, a camel? Those pitted dates? Yeah. Sometimes I get carried away. Oh my gosh. No, no, no.

How about a date? You know we fully understood the dehydrated plum. Yeah, we're on board. But you want to make sure they're pitted or you could crack a tooth. I've only got two more shots at this. These are the top two, Vaughn, coming at you. Hey, I'm wondering if you can help me. I think there's something wrong with my

phone. It doesn't have your number in it. Well, that's because I haven't given you my number. I wouldn't say that's a fault. I wouldn't say that's a fault with the phone. I'm being safe here. I don't even know you. I'm not giving you my number. I wouldn't say that's a fault. I wouldn't say that's a fault with the phone. I'm being safe here. I don't even know you. Yeah, I'm not giving you my number. Well, this person tried it and the other person came back saying,

haha, best chat up line ever. Is this my cue to give you my number? Wink, wink. Number. Oh, no, no. Don't give your number to strangers. Guys, don't give your number to strangers. Okay, number one.

Give them a fake number. Number one on the list of top 10 opening lines for ladies to try on Bumble. The best icebreaker? A simple gif. A simple gif. What gif? Any gif. Yeah, the pressure on...

I don't mind that one, though, because it's not cheesy like a... What would be your gif of choice? To receive? Yeah. I don't know Like Moira from Schitt's Creek Yeah, big swing though You've got to assume that they're a Schitt's Creek fan Well, you'd read their profile, right?

You'd pick up some tips Exactly though, but if they're not, you're out Well, just look at their profile and find a gif that works in To be honest, you're a woman Very easy We will just go on a date with you But to be honest, you're a woman. Very easy. We will just go on a date with you. Yeah.

That goes without saying. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. We want to know now, we want to talk to teachers. I know you guys are busy. You're probably on your way to your classroom to take the chairs down. Got a couple of weeks off, though, soon. Oh, yeah. That'll be spent marking and coming up with term two plan though.

I was going to say, they don't just have a holiday for two weeks today. Common misconception that teachers just put their feet up. We used to really have a lot of fun ragging on teachers for a 12-week holiday a year. And then I had a child who attended school and I saw a little bit behind the scenes. And then just saw in person what teachers had to deal with. And then in lockdown you actually had to teach your kids and that was horrible. Give teachers even more holidays.

More money. They're doing the Lord's work. Yeah, they really are. So yesterday we kind of stumbled across this. We had a couple of teachers call up saying that it was very hard for them to pick children's names and then they'd both picked names that ended up being used by the royal family as well.

So they used the one name that hadn't been spoiled for them by children. So we thought it was so we barely touched on it. I was like, this is good. We had, what was it? Harrison's and Jordan's were the two on the list so far. And the teachers would never name their children because of them being ratbags. Or the names being totally tinged with sadness. So I Googled, and this is a big problem.

Like, there are forums and community boards where teachers are like, help, like, every name has been ruined for me in my, like, you know, I've been a teacher for five or six years. Now I'm having a kid myself, and I don't know what to call it. Yeah.

So we want to take your calls this morning. 0800-DARLS-AT-M-9696. If you're a teacher or you have been, what names have been absolutely ruined by you? And then the rest of us can sit back and hope that none of our names are heard on the radio. I was just going to say, please don't be a Hayley. I was a real terror.

Oh, they will 100% be Hayleys. Yeah. Absolute ratbags. Wow, the floodgates have opened. I think we need almost a weekly feature. Vent session. Where we vent. Yeah.

Where somebody gets to vent. And in this case, it's the teachers. And thank you so much. We're letting you vent. What name as a teacher has been absolutely ruined for you? Let's start with Kate. Kate, what name? It's acronym name.

So anything, specifically ending with a J, like PJ, LJ, PJ, AJ. They're like a junior, so it's like Lucas Junior because Dad was a Lucas. Yeah, yeah. They're just horrible kids.

Wow. Amazing. DJ, yeah. DJ, AJ. Yeah, you can imagine it now. MJ. Kate, thanks for your call. Sam, what name as a teacher has been absolutely ruined for you?

For me, it's not one particular name, but it's any name that ends in Lee, and it's L-E-I-G-H. I was going to say, you back off. I'm Hay Lee, but I'm an L-E-Y. No, no, no, different salad, different salad, yeah. Kev Lee. Zoe Lee, Anna Lee, Mary Lee. Brad Lee.

Oh, so there's a bit of like a hyphen situation. And they're always shitbags, are they? Well, let's just say mum and dad told them that they were way too special too many times. Ruthless, yes. I love it. Alright, Sam, thanks for your call. Keep your texts,

calls coming in 0800-DARLS-IT-M 9696. Some amazing texts coming through. We're all safe so far. Safe so far. Carl, Vaughan and Hayley, we're alright. Right now though, talking about the names that have been absolutely ruined for you, and this is for teachers

this morning. Some crackers in here. Wow. And I like just the broad strokes we're getting too, like the groupings of what makes children terrible by their names. And if you're not a teacher, this could be quite confronting if you hear your name. Yeah, absolutely.

I'm waiting. I'm feeling nervous every time. No reports of Hayleys yet. Nick's caught up. Nick, what, as a teacher, what name has been ruined for you as a teacher? Anything that ends in D-E-N. Hayden. Hayden.

Hayden, yes. Hayden. Yep. All of those ones. Yeah, right. Jayden, Brayden, Hayden. Hayden. Hayden. Yep. All of those ones. Yeah, right. Jayden, Brayden, Hayden. Hayden. Aiden.

Yep. Dude. What do you reckon it is about those names that makes them such little brats? It's been discussed many a time in the staff room, I tell you that. Oh, wow. Actually, I've just, on Baby Namespedia, popular boys' names in 2018 that ended in D-E-N. Aiden, Jayden, Brayden, Kayden, Aiden, Camden, Hayden, Zayden, Holden and Jaden. No comment.

No comment. No further comment, your honour. Brilliant, Nick. Nick, thanks for your call. Sarah, as a teacher, what name's been ruined for you? It hasn't been ruined, but my own son is a Harrison. And if I'd known that all Harrisons were cheeky, I would not have named him Harrison.

That is the most teacher thing to say. You are being very cheeky. You little cheeky boy. Yeah, that's him. Harrison's, Harry's, we're getting lots of report of basically anything that starts with H-A-R-R. Yeah, I went to school with a Harrison. He was an absolute nightmare.

Set the school on fire. Did he? Like, actually? No, he didn't go ablaze. He set the carpet on fire in the back of the class. So he gave it his best shot. He couldn't even do that right. God damn.

Sarah, thanks for your call. Mrs. Kayla, tell me, what name has been ruined for you? Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Okay, so in your time as a has been ruined for you? Jacob. Jacob. Okay, so in your time as a teacher, it's always the Jacob. It's always the Jacob. Do you feel like now when anything goes wrong, whether you're in the classroom or not, you just scream out,

Jacob! Yep, you know it's Jacob. You just know it, wow. Kayla, somebody's gone a step further and said, any boy's name that starts with J. Jaden. James, Josh, gone a step further and said any boy's name that starts with J. Jaden. James, Josh, Jax, Jadens. As you've said, Jacob.

Heya. Yeah. Teach me. I know a good job. She's going to vendetta strictly on Jacobs. Jacobs. Yeah, she was Team Edward during the Twilight phase. Hey, Kayla, thanks for your call.

Some other text messages. Somebody said, I named my first child Nathan, then returned to teaching and taught her Nathan, and I was just immediately like, I wish I hadn't called my child Nathan. What have I done? So then my next children's names are the ones I made up. Kyra Lee and Maxton. Literally, the text under that reads,

any kid whose parents has made up their name. Kyra Lee. Kyra Lee. Kyra Lee. That's a Lee like we were talking about before. Ellie ITH. Somebody said, as a teacher who's been in the game for 20 years, I can tell you the absolute top shithead name has to be Lockie. Lockie.

Somebody, this is beautiful. Any girl with precious stone names, your sapphires, your jades, your crystals, your diamonds, your opals, your rubies. Rubies, yep. They're always stubborn little madams. And any child with a weather pattern name is also a pain in the ass. I'm talking my storms, skies, rains. Rain.

Oh. Anything that refers to a weather pattern. God, what names are safe? That's going to be our next one. Nothing. Somebody said, as a teacher, again, any boys' names starting with J. And Blake's. Blake's have no respect for women.

It's a broad stroke of the Blake brush there. My brother-in-law has just chimed in. He's a teacher as well. He said it's the J's. The J's and the Georges. Anyone who doesn't spell their name properly, like Logan, L-A-U-G-A-N, George, J-O-R-G-E. Somebody else said any name where an O's been replaced with a Y

is nothing but trouble. Oh, Georgian. Georgian, your Jaysians. Somebody else said any name that's also a book of the Bible. Your Matthews, your Marks, your Lukes, your Johns. Yeah, trouble. Your Philippians. Has any name come out unscathed?

Hayley. Yeah, I know Vaughan. Unfortunately, there was a Vaughan who once got caught by the IT teacher playing with himself in the computer room. So unfortunately, I've been dragged down by the Vaughan that couldn't help but rub one out in his lunch break. We all know if the internet was good enough in the 90s, that would have been you as well. If the door had locked.

ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Shallow Dive. Shallow Dive is a segment of the show where rather than taking like a six episode, one hour each episode podcast look at something, we just give it five to ten minutes. Yeah, so it's not a deep dive, it's a... It, look at something. We just give it five to 10 minutes. Yeah, so it's not a deep dive. It's a shallow dive. A shallow dive. It's a Wikipedia.

Yeah, it's a quick brief skim. It's a skim, yeah. It's a skim. And today, MLMs, multi-level marketing, that's what they renamed Pyramid Schemes. Yeah. Because Pyramid Schemes were getting a bad name.

But there's lots of them out there. You would 100% have been approached by somebody who's in it. I read an article with some absolutely shocking statistics. You don't even have to look very far online to find it, but we wanted to talk to someone who's actually been involved in an MLM and how it felt to be in that vast majority of people that come out the other end with nothing. Yeah. And Anonymous joins us this morning for our shallow dive into MLMs.

Good morning. Good morning. Now, okay, so an MLM. We won't say what MLM that you were involved in, what multi-level marketing scheme, but you've given up on it now. Yeah, totally. They gave up on it about a year and a half ago. How long?

Because I found this amazing little article about MLMs. How long were you involved in it? I should say far too long. But in reality, it was about two to three years. If you don't mind me asking, how much money did you make in those two to three years? Oh, to be honest with you, it was probably only around about

$500. Absolutely crazy. For two to three years work? Yeah, exactly. And I think the thing is that you get sucked in so badly and that a lot of the money that you make, you end up having to reinvest in your

own business. Yeah, because you're encouraged at the top, aren't you, to invest financially into it. Was that the case? Totally. Yep, 100%. So how much money did you take into it initially when you first got into it? How much money was invested?

Okay, so it probably ended up costing me around $2,000. Yeah. You know, it wasn't sold that way. But the situation was that, you know, it was a matter of, oh, you've got to use the product, you've got to have the product in order to sell it. Yeah. Right.

And then so you're also having to buy the product that you're selling to other people. Yeah, exactly. Right, so if you can't... So they can only be a product of the product. Yeah, right. And so if you're not selling that product, you're also left with all this product.

Exactly. That you have paid for. Exactly. And then did you have to do the awkward thing of messaging your friends and family to try to sell it? Oh, my God. Yeah, you wouldn't believe it at one point. You had to actually.

I was so close to reaching the so-called next level. And it was like at 10.30, 11 o'clock at night, you know, midnight close off. And I had the person above me like messaging me like crazy, contact your family. I'm like, who the hell contacts their family at 10.30 at night? And, you know, my mum would be like, who died? But, you know, in reality, at the time, my husband at the time and I ended up spending, get this, another $500 to get me up to the next level. Oh, right. And what happens then is that you've got to try and maintain that level. So you end up

stressing yourself to pieces. What reward did you get for reaching that next level? It was some kind of like, I can't even remember what they bloody sent me. I think I even gave it away to someone, but it was a piece of jewellery or something. So you spent $500 to get to the next level, which got you a piece of jewellery that by the sounds of it wasn't worth $500. Exactly. So what did the person above you get for you reaching that level? Because if they're calling you, putting the pressure on,

they obviously benefit from you going up a level as well, right? Totally, totally. So they get a bigger piece of the pie. Holy shit. And it's just that when you look at it from the outside, you think that's absolutely crazy. They encourage you to go to sales conferences and things like that. You won't be able to reach your goals and dreams if you don't attend.

And people who do attend succeed. So you end up spending more money to go to these conferences. And how much do they cost? How much do the conferences cost? You know, you'd be flying from New Zealand to the Gold Coast. You'd have your accommodation. You'd have your conference fee. So when you say that you spent $2,000, $2,500,

does that include the conferences and the airfares? Hell no, that was my start-up fee. So at the end of two and a half years, you made around about $500. How much money would you have spent to be part of this for two and a half years? Oh my God. I would honestly hate to think,

but I would probably like to be honest with you, it could have been $10,000 to $15,000. Oh my God. What did your husband think when it just sort of wasn't starting to see some profit? Yeah, well now he's my ex for a reason. Okay. What ended first, your relationship with him or the relationship with the MLM? Pretty much both at the same time.

Holy shit. And I would say that he used to call it a cult. How far down the pyramid were you? Like, were you bottom level, trying to work your way up so there was a whole lot of people above you? Or were you mid-range? I got to, like, level two. Uh-huh. And spent that money to get to level three and dropped off that after, like, three months of stressing big time.

And then how did you get out of it? How did you find your way out? Oh, literally, I just, like, let things run out and I just pulled myself away from people. I shut myself off social media. Wow. You know, and it was interesting, these people that were your so-called friends involved in the business, how they cut you off.

You know, it's kind of like, oh, you're not doing that anymore. I know you said you got jewellery when you went up a level, but what were like the ultimate goals at the top? Were they the Mercedes? Yes. Right. And how many people did you know with the Mercedes from MLM? Yeah, two. Two of how many? How many did you meet or talk

to in all that time? Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. You know, so many people. So many people. And I still see some of them now. And, you know, some of them still struggling. I see one of them has got themselves a Mercedes, but in reality. Would they have spent the equivalent of a Mercedes to get there? I reckon they would have.

I've seen docos and read articles and heard lots of experiences very similar to yours. And, look, I don't know if anyone's got a positive version of it, but what would you say to, it's predominantly women, isn't it, who may be getting lured into this. What's your advice? My advice is to stop and think. You know, is that they will use the fact of self-help and self-development

and all of those, you know, taglines. They'll use that to get you into the business. And they'll tell you that you work from home and that you'll have all this free time. And my advice is to stop and think and talk to those closest to you about it. You don't want to lose those people that are closest to you. Not over money. It's just not going to grow on trees. Or be thrown out of a Mercedes window.

It's so good that you can have a sense of humour about it because a lot of people have been invested two and a half years, like you said, in extremely stressful, financially burdening situations. Not a lot of people could at the end of it. Exactly. You know what? I believe all of this stuff is lessons, and if I can help someone else avoid that lesson,

then I think that's a good thing. I love you, Anonymous. You definitely helped some people this morning, I'm sure. Anonymous, thank you so much. You're welcome. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Just a quick follow-up to the shallow dive. Well, no, that's...

You're going too deep. You're going too deep now. I'm not going to go deep. It's just going to be a little shallow tip. You're dipping a toe in the middle of the pool. Okay. Somebody messaged in. They were in an MLM because we talked about the Mercedes.

Yep. And how you can get a Mercedes. That's the big carrot that's dangled. Yeah, if you keep selling to your friends. So you don't get the Mercedes. You get an offer to lease a Mercedes under your own name. And you get signed up for a period of six months.

Yeah. They put cash towards it the first month. If you don't make the sales the next month, they will put nothing towards that Mercedes lease and that's all on you.

Oh, right. Okay, you're going too deep now. Yeah, no, that's as deep as I'm willing to go on the shallow dive. You get gifted a Mercedes. No, you don't. You get pointed in the direction

of a Mercedes dealership or a car rental place that'll rent you Mercedes. No, you don't. You get pointed in the direction of a Mercedes dealership or a car rental place that'll rent you one. Okay, let's stop. We're going deep. We're going deep. No, no, deep. Shallow dive.

Not a dip. Shallow, shallow, shallow. You've had one of those days where the bad stuff just keeps happening. There's a movie about it, right? Yeah. Terrible, awful, atrocious day.

Bad day. No, no, it was a so-and-so's, what's that name of that movie? Someone, the kid's name and Steve Carell's in it. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, that's right. So-and-so's, the kid's name is a book, has a terrible, awful, horrible name. Oh, right, okay.

What about that terrible day Alanis Morissette had when she got on the bus and paid and then he was like, do you want a free ride? And she's like, I've already paid. And then there was a taxi, wasn't it? Yeah. I don't think it was a bus. Yeah. I thought it was a taxi.

Free ride once you've already paid. Yeah. I don't think it was a bus. Yeah. I thought it was a taxi. Free ride once you've already paid. Yeah. I don't think it was a bus. The bus would have made it a whole lot worse because now you're on a bus. Well, what about that day that she was looking for a spoon? No, no, no, no. She had 10,000 spoons.

No, she was looking for a knife. She was looking for a knife. Yeah. It was a shocker of a day. I would just spin it around. If she's just butter and bread, she could have used the handle. But my daughter had one of these yesterday at the supermarket.

She walked into, you know, the scales that you weigh your fruit in? Yeah. To give you an indication on how much, like, you're like, I'm willing to spend $5 on bananas. Yeah. And they're $5 a kg. So you've got to get exactly a kg of bananas or just shy of. Yeah.

And they have those scales there. Yeah. She walked. That was hanging at head height and she turned and just walked straight into the scales and just cracked her right on the eyebrow line. On the eyebrow line. There were tears there.

She was very upset, embarrassed also because it made a big noise and people looked. Yeah, shame. Then she gets home and she's like, I'll get the stuff out of the boot. And she tries to lift the boot of the car up and lifts a little bit. And then it just comes down.

Her fingers just get like patanged. Oh. And the boot tears again. Managed to calm that situation. I'm like, let's get you inside. Let's get you an ice pack. Yeah. And she was walking, carrying her school bag.

And she half stepped on the step up to her house and like slipped off and like fell and banged her shin and dropped her lunchbox. So like the cherry tomatoes she didn't eat rolled out. That's always a real, when you drop something and it rolls away from you, it makes the dropping a whole lot worse. It does, yeah. It spread the shame of the drop.

Yeah, now you gotta stay down there and pick it up. Yeah. So I was like, let's get you inside. I was like, put that down. I'll take care of this. And I plumped her on the couch and Yeah, now you've got to stay down there and pick it up. Yeah. So I was like, let's get you inside. I was like, put that down. I'll take care of this. And I plumped her on the couch and I said, you stay there because you're on a bit of a bad streak. Yeah, yeah.

And she's like, and I said, why don't you play on the iPad? Yeah. And then she was playing on the iPad lying down and she dropped the iPad on her face. We've all been there. You know when you like swipe the screen, but the case it's in is like one of those adjustable cases so you can sit it up.

And it was like. Tears? Tears. There was another one. It was just a really bad streak. I hate those days. And you just think, one more, and I'm going to burn this place to the ground.

I'm going to clench my fist so hard I'm going to break some knuckles. But that seemed to be the end. And then, you know what, she ended the day on a high. Because we were watching Five Gold Rings. You guys ever watch that? No. It's absolutely my favourite game show. It's a game show, yeah.

So how does that work? There's a big, huge digital display on the floor. Yeah. And there's a whole lot of different puzzles. Like it might be like last night it was like, here's a picture of a dugong.'ve removed the dugong's eye take your ring and put it where the dugong's eye should be oh yeah and you walk onto this massive circular digital floor and you put the ring down on where you think the dugong's eye would be where the bloody hell is the dugong's

eye no one knows yes what a dugong is. Like a sea, like a manatee. Is it by the butt? No, no, it was on the head, but it was way up here. It was on the top of the head. Yeah, well, I don't know if five gold rings are going to trick me. Yeah, you're not going to win. Well, no, it was only like the bust of the manatee. Oh, right, okay.

So there was no of the dugong. You'd be like, trick question. It's on the butt. Yeah, show me the butt, five gold rings. No, no, no. It's within this picture. You'd be like, show. It's on the butt. Yeah, show me the butt, Five Gold Rings. They'd be like, no, no, no. It's within this picture. You'd be like, show me the Dugong's butt. And everyone would be like,

the guy on Five Gold Rings was weird last night. I kept in mind he said the Dugong's butt. But one of the hardest ones is in Five Gold Rings, and it's always like the last puzzle. He's like, here's a picture of a farmyard. And it's like a drawing of a farm. And he's like, and the chickens have got owl. And there's like eight chickens on

screen and they're all different colours. And he's like, watch the chickens. Watch the chickens. And then all of a sudden he's like, they're about to stop. Where was the blue chicken? And everyone's like, I wasn't watching the blue chicken! So we watch as a family now. And when he's like, the chickens are out. I'm like, I've

got the green chicken! And then Indy was like, I'll watch the orange chicken. Shade's like, I'll watch the blue chicken. And I'm like, I've got the green chicken. And then Indy was like, I'll watch the orange chicken. Sade's like, I'll watch the blue chicken. And August is like, I'll watch the green chicken. Yeah. And we're like, oh God. And so we're all like frantically watching where our chickens were. Yeah.

And then he's like, and the chickens are gone. Where was the green chicken? And August was like, I know. And she walked up and she put her finger on the TV. Yeah. And she's like, this is where the green chicken was. And we're like, are you sure? Are you sure? Like we had any actual cash on the line. And she's like, this is where the green chicken was. And we're like, are you sure? Are you sure?

Like we had any actual cash on the line. But we're as a family. We're just jazzed. And she's like, guys, I've got this. And she wouldn't take her finger off the screen. I've got a cute photo. She stood there for ages. I thought it was going to go to ad break.

And she's like, I'm not moving. And this is where, like, this is. Like, that's her. And see, it goes back to the contestants. And she's still holding. And there's a bit of Downtime Because they want people

To like forget Where the blue chicken was And she's like I'm not leaving I'm not leaving And there's the host And she's still got her Finger on the screen

And then boom Look at that Wow After her bad day The blue chicken Stuck right there And she nailed it Exactly

Made up for the bad day 100% Because she's the Golden rings champion Of the house for the week I don't want to play Golden rings Same I've just got YouTube week. I want to play Golden Rings. Same.

I've just got YouTube up. I'm going to watch it. It is legitimately the best show to watch at home as a family. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. You went a bit high there Because I had like a hiccup-y burp thing coming on I was like, not now I fought it now

Today's fact of the day is about the term king size Where do you think king size, what was the first product king size was used for? Beds. Not beds. Chocolate bars. Not chocolate bars. Cups. Cakes.

Not cups, not cakes. King's Cup. It was. Was it because the king deserved more than everyone else and that's why it's called King Size? So like King Size, the term King Size, although not like a product, was portraits. So there was life size.

So you would get a life size portrait. If you were wealthy, you'd get a life size portrait. So you'd walk into somebody's house and it was literally them one to one scale. Right. But kings could afford, they had palaces, bigger walls, and wanted to be the next level for the portrait. So king size portraits were, people would be painted larger than they were. Oh, right. Which back in the day was, you would be painted larger than they were. Oh, right.

Which back in the day was, you know, a hell of an undertaking. God, that would cost you a fortune to get a king-size portrait at Warehouse Stationery on that printer. Oh, what a magic. I bet you'd be waiting for an hour or two. Imagine going to the frame shop. Oh, yeah. Ridiculous. Oh, frame, it's so expensive.

And having to deal with the judgment at the frame shop for having a huge vanity print. But the first product that was actually sold as king size were delicious cigarettes. Oh, yuck. In 1939, Pormal was sold as king size cigarettes and that was 85mm long cigarettes, 8.5cm, which is now standard size cigarettes, but prior to that, cigarettes were shorter and thinner.

Little stubbies. Little stubbies. Little stubbies. Lots of people were still rolling their own back in the day, but for the factory-made cigarettes, they were smaller than that at the time. Right, and now you've got king-sized chocolate, king-sized biscuits. Yeah, everything that's larger than the standard

is referred to as king-sized. Now, we've gone a step further, because we're so indulgent, and super king sized. Yeah. Yeah. We started on Californian king sized. Do you reckon chocolate bars will ever be California king sized?

Only in America. Yeah, because it's thicker and longer then, isn't it? Yeah. So today's fact of the day is the first product labelled and sold as king sized was actually cigarettes.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Podcast ZM. Put down the toupee. Step away from the wig. Get those clip-ons out. A new study has shown that nearly half of women find baldness immensely sexy. Yes. Which is why you're having trouble working with us every morning. You find it quite a struggle. I can't look you in the damn eye.

I know. I have to put a movie on in my laptop to keep my attention away from you all. Yeah. The tension in the studio is palpable. It is. A lot of people loving the bald men and there's a lot of representation of bald men in Hollywood,

which I think has sort of added to this. Do you know who's owning it at the moment? Stanley Tucci. Stanley Tucci is so hot. He's been doing his Italian cooking during lockdown. He's got that show. And his cocktail making. I saw him making cocktails the other day

after you guys mentioned his presence online. And he's just cool. 58% of people, 58% of particularly women that responded said yes, baldness is sexy. 58%. You've got Jason Statham. The Rock.

Yep. Some people, Vin Diesel does it for some people. LL Cool J. Yeah. We talked about this a while ago. In the same study, 75% of respondents said a softer middle area on a man is attractive. So not your classic washboard abs, but more of a softer middle.

See, I'm sort of massive hairy dudes. Is that what it does for you? Massive hairy dudes. Do they have to be over a certain height? Yeah, have to be taller than 6'5". Okay, so you're Beyonce 6'6", that's good. Okay, great. I'm keeping it very specific.

I'm talking massive. I'm talking like a big, giant man. Andre the Giant type. Well, it just took me a while to find my type. I did dabble around in my late teens, early 20s with a lot of sort of skinny, skinny rock star men. Okay. Dirty looking men.

How did that go? The great unwashed? I want them to look like they had a drug habit, but I didn't want them to have one. Yeah. And did that go? They're great unwashed. I want them to look like they had a drug habit, but I didn't want them to have one. Yeah. And it just wasn't working out. So then I went from that to the biggest man I could find. And I was like, that's my type.

We're talking to Jason Mamoors. We're talking to Aaron Cortese, my fiance. This is a lifetime of renovating houses and making bigger door frames. Oh, I know it is. We've talked about it. When we make our own house window and raise that benchtop right up. Yeah. There making bigger door frames. Oh, I know it is. We've talked about it. When we make our own house, one day we're going to raise that benchtop right up.

Yeah. There's no doorways. Yeah. Like, you know, sometimes you go to a house and the light switch is really low. Yes. You're like, that's a really low light switch. And you find out that it might have been made

for somebody who was smaller. Yeah. Villas, door handles, really low. Oh, so low. Yeah. So you're always bending. But this is the thing, right? Like, so this survey looking at sexy men and we're seeing things like baldness and softer middles.

And I feel like Hollywood and movies and that have painted the picture of the hottest ideal man as being, you know, big full head of thick, luscious hair and washboard abs. But the data doesn't match that. That's not actually what we really want. Yeah, people want an overweight bald man, is what you're saying. What I'm saying is the honeys want a soft bald man. What about all those women that found themselves

wildly confused by Tony Soprano? Remember the Sopranos and Tony Soprano? Because he was a big dude. He had the bald spot, the male pattern baldness, but he just had that immense power in those big punchy hands. That was the power.

If he was, for example, if he was on the supervisor checkout at Countdown and you went up to get a refund. Excuse me, that is a very powerful position. You wouldn't find Tony Soprano attractive there. Yeah, it is his charisma and his power because I watched the Sopranos and had to keep taking breaks. Are you serious?

Yeah. Really? There's something about his, like, command and his energy that I want him to command me. He's a great actor. But so we wanted to ask you guys listening, what is your sort of unconventional or atypical trait physical trait in a partner that you just find super sexy that maybe bucks the trend of what of your yeah so it's not hollywood

blondes and your buff hollywood yeah it's not like abs it's like a really hairy back if you ring up and you're like oh my god i know it's so weird but I find abs really sexy. That's not what we're after, no. Yeah, maybe you're into a maybe you're into the super wiry. Super long fingers. Yeah, yeah. You love long fingers. Or you're really skinny skinny men. Or maybe you're like

really rough hands. Yeah, or like me, love a beard. Yeah, okay. Don't look at me like that. So we want to know from you this morning, are those atypical features that you find really hot about someone? We're talking about 75% of women have said they like a bit of chunk around the middle. 50% of women like a bald head.

Yeah, so not the typical abs and muscles. Do you know, after the hairy, the baldness that we talked about and the bare belly, the next most popular one would have been? What? Ginger men. Seriously? We've had so many text messages of people who love ginger men. And it's like, woohoo! Somebody said, you know that dark, that dark ginger colour?

I really love dark. Yeah. And team it up with some freckles. Everyone's getting real jazzed on the gingers. Bex, what is the feature that you most like about a man? Hi, guys. Morning. I reckon it is the gap between their teeth, the front teeth.

Like a gapy gap. What is that called? There's a term for that, eh? The gap. Yeah., the front teeth. Like a gapy gap. What is that called? There's a term for that, eh? The gap. Yeah. Gap between teeth. I don't know, but it's like Taylor Kinney. Diastema?

Diastema? Yeah, right. So if a guy has that, you're like, mmm. Yes. Why? Why do you think that is? Why? I don't know.

The body wants what the body wants. There's no chance of getting chives caught between that, is there? No, exactly. I've got tight teeth, always packed with food. A chair-seated slip right through that. Hey, thanks you, Cool Becks. Megan, what's the thing you like about men that's a little bit unusual? A large, strong nose.

A strong nose. Are we talking Grecian, like a big? Yeah, like a Roman aristocratic large nose. Yeah, big, strong, big nose. You know what? I was like, I'm not sure, but the way you're describing it, I'm like, yeah, so do I. Yeah.

Because I like the big boys. I like the big, tall men. And if they've got a petite nose, it doesn't go. I need a honker. It really doesn't. It really doesn't. Does the nose correlate to anything? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Are you guys picking up what I'm putting down here? It really doesn't. It really doesn't. Does the nose correlate to anything? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

Are you guys picking up what I'm putting down here? I like big feet. Yeah. You know, like the correlation there, like a strong nose is a surefire sign of a... Well, I wouldn't like to cast any aspersions, but yes. Yeah, there she is. There she is. You know what they say, big nose.

That's the list. Big mask. Big shoes. Yeah, big snorkel what they say, big nose. That's the list. Big mask. Big shoes. Yeah, big snorkel. Big nose, big mask. Gotta get a fitted sheet on that honker. Hard to put a snorkel on it. Taking your calls about the atypical things,

the things that are not your mainstream things that you find hot about someone. Yeah, we're talking your soft middles or maybe your little petite boys. Oh, bloody Hollywood's been telling us it's beautiful. No, we're talking your soft middles or your maybe your little petite boys. Oh, bloody Hollywood's been telling us it's beautiful. No, exactly. None of these six foot wash abs. Turns out 50% of women like a bald man for example, find it very sexy. Very sexy. 75% of women like a

dad bod. It's amazing what we're finding out people are loving. I know, big noses. Mandy? She's here. Oh, okay. Now let't have big noses. Mandy? Chest hair. Oh, okay. Now, let's talk about what you like about it, Mandy. Do you like it everywhere or do you like it long? Honestly, as long as there's chest hair, it doesn't matter.

There's nothing more that repulses me than the idea of somebody that has no hair. Like a seal. What is it for you? Is it a manly sort of a thing for you? like, no hair. Like a seal. What is it for you? Is it a manly sort of a thing for you? Yeah, it is. It's a very manly thing to have. Right.

I don't know. Do you like putting your fingers through it? Are you a fan of the touch or just the visuals? Mate, I'm putting my head on it and I'm rubbing my fingers through it. Like you're a kitty cat. Mandy, what if they trimmed it or it was shaved? You know, as a little bristly maybe. That is a big no for me.

That is like a huge turn off. It's the same when guys shave their legs. Right. Wow. You like a hairy boy. Mandy, thanks for your call. Another text. Dimples.

Oh, yeah. Dimples. Dimples. Oh, yeah. Dimples. Oh, yeah. Dimples are sexy. Somebody said it's like generally considered cute, but I just find it dead sexy. Or the back dimples. Lower back dimples. Yes.

I haven't seen any of those for years. I haven't seen those for years either. I never got them. I thought, do guys get them? I thought that was just females that got them. Do guys get lower back dimples? I don't know. I haven Do guys get lower back dimples? I don't know. I haven't experienced any lower back dimples.

Guess we'll never know. I don't know. Guess we'll never know. I've heard you can. What about the old? Oh, yeah, but that's. The front lines. Yeah, but that front lines.

No, that's typical. Points at the good time. That's very typical. Yeah. We've been told that that's sexy. Clever landing. And it is. Mine on women is a very broad shoulder, like an immense shoulder. You think of immense shoulders?

When I see a girl with a very broad shoulder, like a big, broad shoulder, I'm like, wow, I'd love that. Height. Height is... I always find height quite attractive. Right. We're on Amazonian. Yeah.

Thank you. It's my gal, Godot. Well, I like a beard and you like an Amazonian woman. Are we with the wrong people? Maybe. Somebody said, I'm a big fan of my husband's bear belly. It's furry and soft and cuddly. Okay.

Somebody says, I might be judged on this, but I like my men feminine. Okay. I'm your Ian Somerhalter, your Zac Efron. But Zac Efron's gone full daddy now, hasn't he? He's like very chest ripped. Maybe your Eddie Red Mains. He's got a softness about him. Very much a softness to him.

Somebody said, I need my man to look rugged like he could go and be a hunter gatherer if he wants, but I need him to be clean so he's obviously not. As long as he has a shower after he goes pig hunting. I love left-handed men. Such a turn-on. Grow up.

I get it. I'm a left-hander. Is it the smudged pencil on the bottom of their hands? It's all that ink everywhere. Somebody said, big, low eyebrows with lots of expression. You're Eugene Levy's. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, you're big. Big brows. A few more for gingers, by the way. Getting a lot of love in for gingers. What about your summer holidays, though? Well, that's what somebody else said. Freckles. They love freckles.

You go very freckly. They love seeing if I get too much sun on my face. That's how you tan, don't they? Oh, yeah, on my shoulders and stuff. I'm a freckly unit. Yeah, yeah, they all just merge. A sexy merge. Somebody said, I've got a thing for veiny hands.

Oh, yeah, I get that. A veiny. Yeah, that's hot. They'd find my hands hot. Yeah, I think that's hot. I'm not veiny. Yeah, veiny. Someone's got told by a, who are the anethnotists,

that I'd make a good junkie. Oh, yeah, because you've got a good. I was like, thank you. Because look at the arm there. I find veiny arms super hot. I'm not. I've got weak veins. a good... I was like, thank you. Yes, yes, I find veiny arms super hot. I'm not. I've got weak veins. No drugs for me.

No drugs for you. I'm going to be one of those old people with transparent skin and everyone's going to see my veins. Yeah, paper's disgusting. I'm going to read this out because I think it's... I think it's... What's that? Yeah.

Oh, you're being told to get off here. Okay, well, for this, it'll be a great finish for the day. Okay. What turns me on in a man that's a little unconventional? And then they've left a list. Big, veiny hands. Yeah. But beautiful feet.

Yeah. Lots of tattoos and a medium-sized penis. A medium, right. So specific. Yeah, medium. You want your big hands and your medium penis I just don't see how it can be done

sorry you're gonna have to have a big penis ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan the podcast if you enjoyed this podcast why not give ZM's free and clean to listen to subscribe on the

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