ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 15th December 2021

Episode Date: December 14, 2021

Certain Website Year in Review  Person of the Year  Top 6: Things not to say to Aucklanders  12 Days of Fletchmas!  Vaughan, Homeschooler  Bet I Can Guess Your Mums Name  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play. ZM's Fleets, Vaughan and Megan. Hello, welcome to the Fleets, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to McCafe, great barista made coffee on the go. I, uh, coming up on the show, you'll hear a chat, a very impassioned chat about 1990s McDonald's playgrounds. I would say maybe 40% of our chat about McDonald's Playgrounds happened on air today.

There was a lot behind the scenes. We went into the details of injuries sustained. We were telling Carl Wayne at the social media desk about the dangers of playgrounds growing up in the 80s and 90s. Yes, and how getting your head stuck in the rocky, shaky Grimace led to so much brain damage. Well, the reason we're not talking about it is there's one for sale, right? And then somebody messages me and they're like, the same guy, Nick, who's selling that Chief Big Mac.

Yeah. Which is when you climbed up inside. You'll hear us talk about it. She said, he's also into these. And Poppy, who sent me this this She knows it's a UFO house Oh is this one of those in Raglan Correct was in Raglan Has been moved there was one in Thames as well

You go through Thames I don't know if that got Turned into a full blown playground or just like A play area but there was one of those If you're going to buy one of those and move them around You've got to enlist the Prime Minister's Fiancee Clark Gayford To move the UFO So now I've got a

new obsession right it's getting my own futuro house right futuro pod these were designed they sit up off the ground they look like a ufo the stairs drop down like that's so cool so it was designed by a finnish architect to be a mobile ski chalet. Oh, okay. So you could helicopter them in under a big helicopter and pop them somewhere, and then your house was all ready to go. Right. Were they anchored to the ground, or were you just hoping that you were going to slide away? You could anchor them to rock or concrete legs. Right.

And apparently New Zealand has a huge amount of them. Really? More than any other country. Yeah. In 1974 for the New Zealand British Commonwealth Games, the Bank of New Zealand had them as temporary banking structures to show they were the bank of the future. Oh, okay.

And then they were put up for sale. Now, one of those is one of the ones that this Nick guy's got. Nick's got two of them. Right. How much do they cost? I don't know. They're pretty cool. Also, your wife's never going to let you put one of these in the paddock. I think she kind

of would. Really? I think of all the things I could do. Well, listen in to tomorrow's podcast intro where we hear if Vaughan's wife Sade will let him put a UFO in the paddock. Well, I have to find one first. Nick said there is one he's got his

eye on to buy. So I'm kind of like trying to butter him up to, you know, he's already got two. Does he need three? I don't think he needs three. I need one. You need one. You know, that'd be good fun. I could come over and stay at the weekends.

Well, 100%. How cool. I'd probably go out there and stay. This could be my man cave. You've already got a tree hut. Yeah. That's not a good argument to stop me getting a UFO. True.

Okay, be cool. Okay, I'm on board. Thanks, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fleets. Morning, Megan. Happy Freedom Day. Are we calling it that?

It seems a bit American, doesn't it? It seems a bit American. It seems a bit... Dramatic? Yeah, it does seem too dramatic for Kiwis. It seems dramatic for people who have actually experienced repression or being in prison against their will who have actually got freedom. Yeah.

But yeah, sure, let's go with it. Freedom! I couldn't believe. You can take a lease, but you'll never take a freedom. I couldn't believe the date in that newspaper story this morning of when we were locked up in Auckland. August 7? August.

So there will be people who haven't seen family for even probably longer than that. Auckland was the country was plunged into level four on August 17. 17, okay. So yeah, I was talking to my parents last night. I was trying to work out when I saw my dad in person. It was ages ago I saw mum briefly

She was like here's your kid see you later But like I haven't seen my dad You reckon you'll give him a big hug when you see him Or just a good old mate Well I've got to be careful I don't know he's got a pacemaker now How hard can you whack a pacemaker this bad It's just a light tap I don't know There'll be a whole new regiment to our

Aggressive like kiwi bloke Whack back hug Yeah because you don't want to whack the pacemaker I don't want. There'll be a whole new regiment to our aggressive, like, Kiwi bloke whack back hug. Yeah, because you don't want to whack the pacemaker out. Sure. Is that a thing? I don't know. I don't know either. I've got questions. Well, the top six this morning dealing with the fact that Aucklanders can now leave.

Also on that, Air New Zealand and the airlines, the airport, saying get to the airports super early if you can. At least an hour before your flight. and the airlines, the airports saying, get to the airports super early if you can, at least an hour before your flight. Today's top six is the top six things Aucklanders aren't, even though the media seem to want us to be. Okay. The way we're described. Yeah.

Aucklanders leaving Aucklanders, like just then even Rachel, who is an Aucklander, and then you said, and the Aucklanders are free. Goodness me. So the top six thingsers are free. Goodness me. So the top six things we are not. Coming up on the show before seven this morning, it's your chance to win.

All thanks to McCafe with our Christmas Balls competition. A chance for you to win a month's worth of McCafe coffee at our Christmas Balls, hiding all kinds of prizes. So a chance for you to win before seven. You've just got to listen out for the activator. It is the end of the year. We get all of our stats, our end of the year. And you know who loves some stats? International adult video site pornographic hubble.

ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. Eleven past six. Didn't think this through. Very little we can report on. Very little we can report on. Very little we can report on. So you found a story online and you thought this would be great to talk about. But then in further researching this story, we can't actually report most of it. If you've got the kids in the car, I don't know if you're off to bloody swim practice or water polo.

Mind you, if you've got a teenage kid playing water polo, they're very like... That's some aggressive sport. It's an aggressive sport. There's a lot of hands on genitals. I heard about that. Yeah. Underwater tweaks.

Yeah. Horrible. Pinches, pulls. Yeah. Scuffles. I thought it was just a cute little... No, using your toes to pull down somebody else's trowel so that then they have to deal with the fact that their trousers are down

and then you get past them and get a goal. That's how water polo works. What a ruthless sport. It is a ruthless sport. All the while fighting against the fact that water wants to drown you. Yeah, it really is quite a sport, isn't it? Getting a little twist on the scrote while water itself is trying to kill you. Those little helmets are cute, though.

Those head things are pretty cute. Yeah, are they built-in earplugs? I think they just have a plastic thing over them. Like a cone over the ears. Does that affect their ability to hear? I don't know. Screaming commands? Because you know how loud...

There's holes in them. You'd know very well how loud it is in a pool. Yeah, very loud. Because of the hard surfaces and the squeals of ecstasy of children. And then they echo around the room. Okay, well now that we've padded a lot of it with water polo talk, I can just hit some main points of this. This is Pornhub's year in review. This is their eighth year and

you probably don't know what they're learning about you while you're there. But be under no ignorance as blessed circumstance that they don't know that you're not there. Yeah, they actually have this printout when you die and they're deciding on heaven or hell, I believe. And they fax it to your family. They're like, oh, John's dead. Let's send his born out. Ring, ring, ring, ring.

You're like, hello, and they say, beep, boop, boop, boop, boop. You're like, oh, it's a fax. Hang up and press the fax button. Click. And then it just starts printing out the pages and pages and pages of what Grandad John looked up. Number one, lesbians.

Oh, he did love Lebanon. He did love Lebanon. He always wanted to go to lesbian. Lesbian. Lesbos, yeah. Lesbos. The top 20 countries by traffic. The United States absolutely leagues ahead of everybody.

Right. Three times as much. Traffic from the United States to Pornhub as its nearest follower, the United Kingdom. Is this the world's number one adult site? Yes. Right. In fact, there was last year. It doesn't have it in this article this year.

It had it as far as visits to websites go. Right. It was one as visits to websites go Right It was one of the top websites Right, okay One of the top five websites anyone ever visits ever Right, so a good indicator of the general populace Yes Okay

Actually, you're dead right Yeah The United Kingdom is in second place It's up one It's overtaken Japan It was fallen to third place Ooh Well, they did have the Olympics

That's a lot of weeks Of Very true You know Very true Busy Yeah Busy

But they were in lockdown as well Trying to get rid of Yeah that's true COVID before the Olympics And then a little lockdown afterwards Although they do live in Very small apartments So it'd be very hard

To hide from your partner Especially if they're in lockdown Yeah Everybody's at home I hadn't thought about that Yeah France and Italy Round out the top five. Okay.

We're not on there. Russia, it's so low, they must have their own version. Yeah. Because there's so many Russians on. I mean, I've heard. I've heard that there's a lot of Russian content. Okay. What else do you want to know?

The most searched terms in 2021? Very little we can cover there. Yeah, I don't think there's any. Congratulations to lesbians. Is that number one? Number one, just like Grandad John would have wanted them. Milk is number two. Oh, that's not okay, that's an F. Okay. Hentai, which of those bowls you get in Japan

with all the different stuff? The domburi or the different domburis? A hentai bowl? Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay, I think that's all the list we can read. Oh, no, I can definitely cover the top five. Number four is three people. Oh, yeah, okay. And number five. Do you mean like a Zoom call?

Yes. Okay, yeah. Number five is the opposite of what tusks are made out of, which are, of course, ivory. There was that song, What Goes With Ivory. Yep. I'm going to tickle the ivories. You're not going to be tickling the ebonies.

Well, you probably are, actually, because it's a very popular search. Yeah, right. There's lots of stuff there. That we can't read out on here. No. And there's one term, and I don't know what it is, but if I fear I just say it, it's going to be too well-known that I can't just say it was ignorant bliss and me saying it.

Right. So I feel like if I might just run a quick search on what it means. Right. Ha! Okay. So we're not saying that? No, definitely not. But we'll cover it afterwards because I've just learned a new term.

Good to know that we're learning this morning. No, I think we've done enough there. Top five people who sell secondhand goods. You sell it to them. Sort of a pawn shop situation. But the people who, of course, star in that shop. Oh, right. I've never heard of any of them.

The trending searches, I could literally not read one. The top categories, we just covered that shop. Oh, right. I've never heard of any of them. Okay. The trending searches, I could literally not read one. Okay. The top categories, we just covered that before. Congratulations to the people of Lebanon once again for that. Well, this prank has been nothing. Can I just say one very confusing situation?

Yeah. Relative categories to British, this is the British results. Yeah. British people search the word British. Oh, okay. Are they hoping to find someone they know? Yes, they are. Also,

it's like the accent. Yeah, but they don't speak a lot during the... They do when they get into the taxi because they think they need to ride somewhere and I believe that man driving that taxi doesn't even have a taxi's licence.

Well, this Frank has been very, very light. And very rarely does he get them where they need to go in a swift manner. Right.

Because it was that story to be a London black cab driver, you've got to be able to know every name of every street if one street

shut the quickest way. It's this insane test. I don't know if he's passed that test because it's not very long before he starts speaking inappropriately to his passenger. You don't think he's an actual taxi driver? I doubt he did the qualifications whatsoever.

You can read the entire year in review. Nope, you can't. Not at work anyway. Well, that was fun. We just tried to get the link. You've been shut down. We have to go and see IT after the show. I know.

Clear the browser. I'm going to say that with somebody else. I'm going to say I've lost my laptop. Sure. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. Well, a group has been campaigning in New Zealand to make the voting age 16. The group Make It 16.

Most predominantly younger New Zealanders, eh? Yeah. I do like seeing a passion for democracy from young people because at that age, I don't know who I would have even voted for at that age. If I even would have cared. I would have definitely voted blue. Because of your parents. It would have been a national vote.

Yeah, I grew up with a farming family. Nay, a kind word was said about the left. Nay, a kind word was said about paying tax. They love to lock in their favourite and yell at the others on the TV, don't they? Yeah, not a nay, a kind word was said. That's a very nice way of putting it, by the way. Make It 16, the group, has been campaigning since July 2019, but it was denied.

I don't think these people are doing it. It's bipartisan, right? They just think, regardless, just if you're old enough to have a job that pays tax, you should be entitled to vote. Well, they say that it's inconsistent with the Bill of Rights Act. But that was dismissed and then they've appealed it. And yesterday that was denied again.

It's just nice seeing teenagers use their time for democracy. Instead of tagging and being at the skate park. And playing nothing but bloody Fortnite. All day long shooting their friends in the face. Smoking synthetic cannabis and vaping. It's just nice, isn't it, to see them into it. Yeah. Not doing talk tics.

Talk tics and wearing their origin jeans. With their skate shoes. Listening to that band Fall Out Boy. Oh. I think you're a couple of decades too late, but okay. CDM's Fletch,

Ronan Megan. Welcome this morning to our new Coromandel listeners. Switched on a bunch of frequencies late last night. All over. And I'm sorry if you've turned in to hear

your other favourite radio station And we're here instead But suck it We're here now bitch Sorry I've come in aggressive You have come in very aggressive I don't know whose frequencies we took But we've got some

Yeah right We've got Coromandel's Waihi Waihi Beach Coromandel and Thames and Paidoa. So all over. Big. Whole lot of frequencies. Shout out to Paidoa if you're going there to hike the Karangahaike Gorge. Maybe you're going to the Historical Maritime Museum and Park,

the Hauraki Rail Trail, or stopping at the giant L&P Bottle. Maybe Bullswell Heritage Farm I think you would like. You can pet animals. Oh, lovely. You like that, don't you? You like pet pat animals. Oh, lovely. You like that, don't you? You like patting animals? Down for summer, you can text CORO to 9696 for all the frequencies

throughout the Coromandel. Elon Musk. Oh, no, I can't read this because I'm not paying the yearly subscription, but he's been named 2021's Time Person of the Year. And controversial because he's a love-hate figure.

Very much so. He, yeah, he's a bit, sometimes he puts his foot in it, doesn't he? But you get great internet from this man. I do. Who launched satellites into space and give you internet from the sky. That's amazing. You're sorry to stargazers who have said the satellites cause light pollution and make it harder to see the stars,

but I am getting absolute mint into your connection for the first time in three years since moving to the rural area. Yeah. In fact, I would even say if you were in our, I don't know, Pyro itself would probably have fiber. Yeah, they would. But if you were on the outskirts. In the Coromandel. Get yourself. Oh, if you were in the Coromandel.

Without fiber. Get yourself a Starlink. Chop down those native trees that are going to obstruct your clear side of the skyomandel. Get yourself... Oh, if you were in the Coromandel, get yourself a Starlink. Chop down those native trees that are going to obstruct your clear side of the sky. Yeah. Those things are a hazard. I don't know if you can just do that. And get that satellite right up there.

Yeah, nice. Yeah, this is like that time those bloody Coromandel locals foiled my plan to buy that beach recently. Yes. New chums. And the public bought it. New chums, yeah.

The public rallied against me. I was the Elon Musk In that situation They took you down He's the richest man In the world Excluding sovereigns So like kings and queens

And stuff He said I can't I can't I can't invade countries And stuff But to me He's probably good Probably good

He's got the technology So yeah Why they picked him? They said, well, wherever what your thoughts on him, he was completely unavoidable. He's had domination in various industries and areas. On Earth and above Earth. Yeah.

Heroes of the year, the miracle workers, because there's other categories, times, people of the year, heroes of the miracle workers, your hospital staff, your vaccine legends, inventors. Olivia Rodrigo won the Entertainer of the Year. Okay. Yeah. And Simone Biles won Athlete of the Year

for her service to gymnastics, even though she didn't compete fully at the Olympics this time around. Yeah. From the smoggy ZN think tank, this is the top six. Sloppy. Sloppy Joppy over there. Sloppy Maloppy. Have you seen Matty McClain's at the airport?

Should we try and call him? I reckon we could squeeze it in. Okay. I can squeeze into Matty McClain. Because Aucklanders are leaving after 120 days. The lines at the airport look long. August 17th, yeah, in New Zealand, Auckland Airport saying if you've got a flight, get early, get there early.

Yeah. Auckland to Christchurch, today the most popular route. Is it? Yeah. That's interesting. Yeah. Road's busy. Yeah. Roads busy. Yeah. And so if you're heading north, they are stopping every single car.

But southern motorway heading out of Auckland, if you're leaving south, they will do random checks. Otherwise, it's pretty free-flowing there from all reports. Auckland, one of the most vaccinated areas of the country. And 104 days somewhere? 120 days. 120 days? We've been boarded. 120 days, right.

There's been a border up around Auckland. That's since we went into level four on August 17. But the top six things Aucklanders are not, despite what you're hearing. People saying like, for example, the Herald's front page, border break. It makes it sound like prison break. Yeah. And the news just before, Rachel said, the Aucklanders are leaving.

There's all this, like, scary innuendo about it. Well, the top six things Aucklanders are not, despite what you're hearing. Number six, wild dogs. We're not wild dogs. It makes it sound like a pack of patrolling wild dogs. Like the hyenas on The Lion King. Yeah. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom.

We are not wild dogs. No. Some of us are wild dogs. No. Some of us are wild dogs. Yeah. That's a cool name for my group of pals, the wild dogs. Number five on the list of the top six things Aucklanders are not, despite what you're hearing. We're not the child catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

We're not the creepy man lurking around town looking to infect your children or steal them and mwah. With a net. We are not the child catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Number four on the list of the top six things Aucklanders are not, despite what you're

hearing. We're not mosquitoes. Sometimes I hear that we're being described like mosquitoes. Yeah. Little disease carrying nibblers, biters and pokers. Nothing worse than hearing a mosquito in bed. You're like, I've got to get this. And the worst is

What's it do? It's on my face It's got to be on my face It's got to be in my ear It sounded close And then You're like It just definitely tagged me

It's got me It's gone Number three on the list Of the top six things Aucklanders are not Despite What you're Aucklanders are not. Despite what you're hearing, we are not the walking dead. We are not a group of zombies aimlessly walking towards your small town.

Well, we kind of are, but we bring money. We want to spend some money. Yeah. Take our money. Money. Number two on the list of the top six things Aucklanders are not, despite what you're hearing, we're not those flying monkeys from The Wizard of Oz, which, by the way, as a kid, scared the hell out of me.

Yeah. Fly, my pretties, fly. We're like, ah! Flying down, snatching things, infecting your town. We are not the flying monkeys from The Wizard of Oz. And number one on the list of the top six things Aucklanders are not, despite what you're hearing, we are not Godzilla. Godzilla!

Mind you, I would actually like someone to scream that at an in Auckland and then a crowd of people just run the other way. And they're overthrowing cars. Yeah, and they're like punching buildings. Boom! Boom, and then a giant moth comes in to fight Godzilla. That's Mothra. King Kong's there. Actually, this would be pretty cool.

Where could this happen with minimal damage? The Hauraki Plains? Because then everyone driving out of the Coromandel will get to see it. And they could listen to our new frequencies just in time for summer, Vaughn. How do they find out what the frequencies are? They text ACORO to 9696. C-O-R-O. Thank you, Vaughn.

To 9696 to get all of our new Coromandel frequencies. That is today's top six. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan's Christmas Balls. TJ joins us. Good morning, TJ. Morning, how are you? Good.

Welcome to McCampay Christmas Balls. What does the TJ stand for? TJ. PJ. TJ. What does the TJ stand for? TJ. PJ. TJ. What does it stand for? Just TJ. No, so...

She'll be like Tanya Jr. or... Tanya Jean, Teresa, Juliet. Juliet, yeah. Nothing like that. It's just TJ. Yeah. Oh. How do you spell it?

TJ. Bullshit. So on your license it just says TJ? Yes. On your birth certificate it just says TJ? Yes. Do you have a middle name? No.

Do you have a surname? Yes. What? Are you allowed to just be called two letters? So all through school, they were like, write your name on the board. You just write TJ and they're like, no, you've got to write your full name. And you're like, that is my full name. Yes.

And I'm imagining this isn't the first time people have been baffled by this. No. Do you wish it stood for something? No. I mean, it's easy to write. How good is this? But you would be forever like you are now. Right now, we should have already awarded you

a prize, but we're not. We're caught on the fact that your name is two letters. Please don't take this. I'm fascinated. This is no negativity. I think it's a great use of letters. Very economical. It is. It's economical, isn't it? Alright, now we've got our Christmas

balls on the tree, thanks to McCafe. We've got green, red, gold, silver. What colour do you want? Red, please. Red, Bourne, would you please do the honours? This is all thanks to McCafe. You can try the refreshing McCafe ice coffee, available now at Macca's

McCafe. Now you have won a month's worth of McCafe coffee, TJ, plus a $200 King's Plant Barn voucher. Oh, yes. Oh, awesome. Thank you. King's Plant Barn, everything you need. Yeah, that's good.

That's a bonus jingle for them, even though they're not paying for it. They're not paid for it. I love a trip to King's, though. All right, so well done, TJ. Full name there. Awesome, thank you. What's your mum's name?

Or your dad's name? Is it some sort of homage to them, the initials? No, they're just normal. Have they ever explained the origins of it? No. Yeah, it's really baffling you, isn't it? You can't deal with this. You really can't deal with this.

I can't. I don't know how. I'm fascinated. All right. Thanks, TJ. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. Good morning. Good morning.

Good morning to those just waking up. If you had a bad dream last night because your room was too hot. Oh, okay. Yeah, the British Sleep Society's Dr. Neil Stanley said you want to sit at about 18 degrees Celsius to get a good sleep. Between 16 and 18, I always have a bit of sleep when it's cold. Oh, well, I have a ceiling fan and that's an absolute lifesaver in summer. Circulates the air around.

That circulates the air, but it doesn't make the air cooler, does it? Or does it? No, it can't, right? Because it would just circulate whatever. No, it just circulates. But it feels a lot colder. Well, it pushes it on you, and if you're sweaty, then the sweat...

Right. The cooling factor, isn't it? So if you have an air con unit, it should be on 18, even though I don't like sleeping with the air con if I go to a hotel because it dries you out. It dries you out,

and you're like... It dries you right out. But 18's optimal. Yeah, between 16 and 18. He said 18's the one. Apparently, any hotter. If you have bad dreams, kind of mark down what time of the year you have them. And he said you'll probably find it's summer.

It's the hotter months where you have the worst dreams. Yeah, you have a better sleep in winter when you get to snuggle up under a blanket when it's cold outside. Because I have a really hot, like a really thick, heavy duvet in winter, but maybe that's too. Right. But then your head's popped out. Oh, yeah, true. Yeah, so the head's the operating unit, isn't it?

So if that gets too hot, that's why in summer, yeah, your body can be, I mean, in winter, your body can be warm, but your head can be like just on the chilled side of things. You had bad dreams last night, didn't you? You came to work, said you had bad dreams. Yeah. I've had very vivid dreams lately. Is it cheese before beer? Well, I am knocking off a whole platter a night at the moment. Of cheese?

Yeah, with a lot of quince paste. Okay. Let me run you through my cheese order. Right, okay. You got a brie. Yep. You got a camembert. Yep. You got a blue. Yep. Always, okay. You got a brie. Yep. You got a camembert. Yep.

You got a blue. Yep. Always a blue. Stankier the better. Okay. Sometimes I'll have various Dutch cheeses, the Dutch to a wonderful gouda. You will put all of this, is this just in the fridge?

You have all these cheeses? Of course. Wow, you're like the fridge at the supermarket. Yeah, I am. I live at a supermarket. Yeah, I am. I live at a supermarket. Right. Okay. Yeah, right.

And every night before bed, after a full meal, I'll eat all of these cheeses. All of them. Every single one. Every one. Every wheel of cheese. Right. And then after I brush my teeth, two slices of plastic-wrapped cheese. And half a bag of grated edam.

Right. Just to really make those dreams vivid. Okay. I don't believe for a moment that it's related to my cheese intake as, you know, I'm on the light end of the cheese scale there. Okay. ZM's Flesh Warner Megan. Keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier.

As at Herald's new podcast, the front page is your short, sharp daily news podcast. Join me, Damien Venuto, every weekday morning as I chat with journalists and newsmakers going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest news stories of the day. Listen to The Front Page at nzherald.co.nz slash podcasts and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. Play ZM. A woman has fallen in love with a prisoner.

Okay. A current prisoner. Right. Prisoner. How bad are we talking here? Like murderer or like some light insurance fraud kind of criminal? An arsonist. Danny has served five years for offences that include armed robbery,

possession of a firearm and possession of controlled substances. Right. He still has three years to go. She plans on waiting for him until he comes out. She's documenting it all on TikTok. So this is definitely love. This is not just for attention. And she said they met and fell in love on writeaprisoner.com.

I was going to say, how did they meet? And I've heard that there are programs like this. You can, I guess it's like you select a prisoner and you just write to them. Yes. I don't know if you select a prisoner, like prisoner Tinder. I don't know if you select it or you're randomly assigned. Surely you're randomly assigned, otherwise you'd just choose the hot ones, wouldn't you? Yeah.

He's not bad looking. Yeah, right. He's not horrible looking. Yeah. I mean, it's good for rehabilitation, right? Like writing to prisoners and, I mean, there's obviously some people that have no hope, but I don't know too much about the rehabilitation situation of contacting the outside world,

but maybe if it gives him hope. Yeah, well, that's what I'm thinking. There's something outside waiting for him. Yeah. And he's got to be on his best behavior and make sensible decisions to get out, perhaps. But then if she breaks it off because of the new bad boy on the block and she writes him a letter, he could get really upset and lash out. But this is like, have you seen those Netflix documentaries like Ted Bundy and stuff?

People, I mean, he was a good-looking man, but people were like falling over themselves. Every time. Every time there's a serial killer or something. And they'll write these serial killers letters and they'll, you know, fall for them, have relations with them. Yeah.

It's mind-blowing. And because these people are like, in the case of Ted Bundy, he was very smart, wasn't he? Yeah. So he had multiple on the go, didn't he? Because he was in prison and he was bored. So he was just like,

well, this is how I can pass the time. I can keep multiple people on the go. Yeah. So yeah, she's fallen for a bad boy. Let's see what happens. Jared's just sent me, he's gone to writeaprisoner.com and he's picked one out.

So you just pick a profile out and then you can just write to them. Yeah, and you can see like what they did. Oh, okay. So you can be like, do they have to, you can be like, I don't want to write a murderer.

I'll just write, you know, a light... Yeah, a tax evader for some helpful hints. And a white collar prison or something. Yeah. Right, so you can choose. Okay. Okay. It's the whole loving a bad boy thing.

Yeah. Do you have any friends that just are like this? Only go for the bad people because they want to fix them? Do you think there's a bit of that? No. Oh, yeah, totally there's a bit of that. But maybe that might be my friend's. Nah.

Bad luck. Because we're all too lazy. Right. It's like buying a house that's leaky, you know? You're like, I can see the potential here, but not really. Yeah. No, not really. And it's a younger, I think maybe it's a younger person's game too.

So my friends, we're like late 30s now. Right. So it's a younger, I think maybe it's a younger person's game too. So my friends were like late 30s now. Right. So it's like, nah. But have you ever seen like a criminal on the news and you've been like, they're hot. Well, there was famously that criminal with the blue eyes. Oh, yes. The guy that got the modelling deal when he got out. Jeremy Meeks.

Was that his name? Jeremy Meeks, yeah. God, look at you recalling that almost immediately. It was the eyes, obviously. Yeah, the eyes. No, because he's been a successful model. Yeah, but let's not forget

he was a naughty boy. Yeah, he was a naughty boy. He was a very naughty boy in the first place to get in there to get everybody's attention as the hot prisoner. But yeah, well,

let's see. Let's see if anybody listening has fallen for a really bad character. But did you have to know they were a bad character? I think you'd have a fair idea they were a bad character. You might not know the details of their bad character. But did you have to know they were a bad character? I think you'd have a fair idea they were a bad character.

You might not know the details of their bad character. Well, I guess you can't help who you fall in love with, even if they are a patched gang member. That's true. But then I guess you've got to be dragged into that world, aren't you? Well, Sade was in the Comacheros, of course. She was, yeah, but you got her out of there, didn't you? I turned her around, yeah.

I showed her what life can be without. Yeah, I remember she'd come and pick you up for dates on her motorcycle. Yes. Gosh, I actually do miss that triumph a little every now and then. Sure. Sitting on the back, holding on tight as she revved it and said, hold on. And I would look at her neck tattoo. Yeah, which she's had lasered off, hasn't she?

I would hold on so tight I was right up there against the neck tattoo. Yeah. Yeah, and said a bunch of very naughty words. Have you ever been with a bad girl? Oh, I was with a girl once who smoked cigarettes. Oh, is that as bad as it got? I don't know if you know about cigarettes, but this country is looking to ban them. Every cigarette is doing you damage.

And when you gave her a smooch on her mouth, sometimes you could taste the cigarettes. Oh, right. So that was as bad as you got. But they were those mint cigarettes. Menthols, I think they her mouth. Yeah. Sometimes you could taste the cigarettes. Oh, right. So that was as bad as you got. But they were those mint cigarettes. Menthols, I think they were called. Yeah.

So it was a weird kind of like passion somebody who had brushed their teeth with an ashtray. Okay. A minty one.

A minty ashtray. All right. Well, 0800-DARLS. I want to take your calls now, your texts as well. 9696. Have you ever fallen for the bad boy

or girl? Yeah. Bad boy or girl? Yeah Bad boy or girl? And maybe at the time you didn't know Happy outcome? Question mark? Maybe you didn't know at the time how bad they were Maybe you turned their life around

Oh, that's a good one If you've turned their life around Or maybe you've got a friend Who's just always into the bad guys Yeah And then it's like Why can't I make it work with any of these people? Han, they're in prison half the time

Oh, I know But at least I know where he is. All right, give us a call, 0800-Diles. It's M9696. When have you fallen for the bad guy? We're talking about if you've ever fallen for the bad boy or bad girl. Right at prisoner.com, you can go on there and find a pen pal that's in an American prison. I'm just looking at Elizabeth.

Yeah. Hi, y' I'm just looking at Elizabeth. Yeah. Hi, y'all. My name's Elizabeth. I'm a heathen from East Tennessee and a total mountain girl. She likes motorbikes. Oh, okay. I hope I can get out of here and get a career in motorbike repair. What's she in prison for?

I can't see. Where did you find, Jared? Where did you say, where did you find what they're in prison for? Incarcery information. It says, like, the date they can be out and you find what they're in prison for? Incarcery information. It says like the date they can be out and stuff. Oh, incarcerated for C, crime. Ooh. Crime for Elizabeth Waters. Conspiracy to distribute

and possess methamphetamine. Oh dear. Oh dear. Okay. Because it does say, it is another tab saying like what counselling they'll probably require and are currently undergoing in prison. Right. Anger management, family counselling and substance abuse for Elizabeth. So that's nice. Fascinating.

So you can write to all these prisoners. So a woman in the UK did this, met a guy and now they're in love. She flew all the way to the US. She's documenting it all on TikTok and she's waiting for him. He's out in a couple of years and she's going to turn his life around. You would have thought from the UK to the US. Yeah. Someone messaged and they didn't want to talk

because they didn't want to be identifiable by voice. Someone I know has recently moved from New Zealand to the USA to be with her fiance that is in a prison. She found him on right of prisoner. He's serving a life sentence and not eligible for parole at all for a double murder at 15 years old. I don't see the point of moving halfway across the world for someone you're never going to spend time with outside of prison,

but you can't help who you love. And they've moved. What? Are you allowed a conjugal visit? Must do, right? But then that also depends on how bad their crime is. And state to state, the rules are different. You're never going to see them.

That's never going to last. Yeah. That is mind-blowing. So more calls and texts in. We want to know if you've fallen for the bad guy. Someone has messaged in who works in corrections. Yeah. I work in a prison and most of the men have

multiple women writing to them and putting money into their accounts. And some women visit multiple men. Oh, okay. Someone said, my auntie always falls for scammers. You meet these guys and you're like, oh, yeah, this guy's a piece of shit. It always comes out in the wash. Yeah.

Some other messages in. Auntie just loves to fix her up. She wants to change these people. She's got a bad boy. Yeah. She's got a bad boy fetish, yeah. My friend is on to her third jailbird. She gets with these guys and we all say, oh, he's a naughty boy.

And then he's got a court date and she always goes to the court date and then he goes to jail and she hangs in there for a bit before it's not really working and then leaves and she's on to her third one. Oh, she's got a type. My friend wrote to a prisoner for 10 years. He finally got out of prison. They met once and then decided it wasn't going to work.

You've just wasted all that time. Was she seeing anyone else in the meantime? I don't know. There's no details on that, but it kind of doesn't sound like it, is it? It's mind-blowing. I was on a date with a girl. I could tell there was a bit of a spark to her.

Yeah. And she was driving, and she said, I'm just going to take this way home. And then she said, hold on, I'll be back in a minute. And she got out of the car and got a brick out of the boot and walked up to a window and threw it through a window and then got back in the car and got a brick out of the boot and walked up to a window and threw it through a window and then got back in the car and drove away like nothing had happened. You were just on

a ride along for a crime. I asked. She laughed and said that's my ex's house. Okay, well that's not a good way to start a date. I get it and drop me off around the block. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I reckon, yeah, this is my house here. You've got a lot of garden gnomes.

From here we'll do. Yeah. Here's cool. Or do, you know, like get them dropped off by a walkway, jump out and just run through the walkway. Yeah, yeah. You've got to be sure you're going to be able to run though. And never, never see her again.

No, that's... Unless you also happen to be a glazier and you can fix your own windows for next to nothing. Still not worth the effort though, is it? Not for me. ZDM's Fletchmore and Megan. Well, after 120 days, the Auckland border is open. Auckland to Christchurch

flights the busiest today and just a busy day in general for flights out of the Auckland airport area. Lines already, social media are seeing lines way back from the security gates. So if you've got a flight today, in fact, any time leading up to Christmas really, I'd get there early.

They're saying at least an hour, but I'd go earlier. It's going to be one of the busiest travel periods from now until Christmas because people haven't been able to get out earlier. And a lot of people probably travel before Christmas, but haven't been able to. So that is one of the reasons why at Christchurch Airport, if you're landing there today, there's going to be cute doggies. They're calling them airport

ambassadors. Oh yeah, with the paws. Airport ambassador dogs, I would have called them. Right. But shit, I'm not in charge. I would have squeezed more and more puns into those two words. I'd love to see you running an airport. You know, I had a way higher score than you in that game.

We had to land the plane. That was just an airport landing game on the iPhone. It wasn't an airport. Is there like a SimCity airport? There is, yes. There's a game. I downloaded it once, and then it was one of those games

where you need to buy heaps of things. No, no, no. You don't need to buy things. No, you do. That's shortcut stuff. You need to put in the hours, like literally hours and hours and hours. I didn't have the hours. Well, do you want to run an airport or not?

You're not doing a good job of being the next CEO of Christchurch Airport if you're not willing to put in the hours. Yeah. You get your job, and you're like, well, what's your first move as CEO of Christchurch Airport, Mr. Fletcher? You're like, I don't know, like move as CEO of Christchurch Airport, Mr. Fletcher? You're like, I don't know, like $1.99 upgrade. Can I buy something?

Can I buy some coins? I need to put a new air bridge in. Can I buy some time crystals to give me more things to do, more runway to build? Yeah, need to land these planes faster. Yeah, totally. That's the key. Well, these cute little dogs are going to be at Christchurch Airport to try to reduce the stress of a busy time and stressful time of the year as well as adding into that travelling. So is that a Labrador, the black lab?

That's cute. That's like, yeah, maybe a black retriever? I don't know. It's got long hair. What's this little ugly one? I don't know. It looks a bit like an Ewok. So imagine it'll fall into the Shih Tzu Bichon umbrella.

Okay. Well, that's cute. And then what, so you just give them a pat? Yeah, I guess they just sit there or walk around or give them a pat. Probably also worth a heads up if you're scared of dogs. Yeah, and also just watch if you're,

because you don't want to be rolling your carry-on luggage through a dog poo and dragging that through the terminal. So I hope they're looking out for the droppings. I would imagine the carers of the dogs would be cleaning up after them fairly quickly. Yeah. I thought you were going to say run over a dog.

That too, with that little Bichon Shih Tzu, that could get caught in a roller suitcase. The 12 Days of Fleshmas. A little Bichon Shih Tzu. That could get caught in. That'd go right under there. In a roller suitcase. The 12 Days of Fleshmas. Well, the 12 Days of Fleshmas is happening now, Vaughan. Sure is. Kim joins us. Good morning, Kim.

Morning, Tim. Now, Kim, hang on, I've got to play this. Who's on the nice list? Kim, did you know before we talked to someone whose name was TJ and that was it? That was their whole name. Their name was two letters. No. Oh, thanks for listening.

Kim, that was a test. Get rid of it! No. Well, it's quite early. I just can't get over it. This has rattled pretty of the entire year. This has rattled me the most. Like COVID, the new Delta.

Nothing surprises me anymore. The new Delta variant didn't shake you more than... I'm a crone kind of... I was like, that's an unusual word, and I said it wrong for about a week. Okay. But the fact that there's a person out there whose name is just two letters.

Not short for anything? It's still annoying you, isn't it? T-E-E-J-A-Y. It's just T-J. T and a J. Well, Kim. Just Kim or Kimberly? No, just Kim.

Just Kim? No. I can believe that. Why are you on the nice Well, Kim, just Kim or Kimberly? No, just Kim. Just Kim? No. I can believe that. Why are you on the nice list, Kim? So it was my friend's wedding on the weekend. Okay. And she needed to go to the toilet, so I was the very kind friend and held her dress for her

as she went to the toilet. Were you her bridesmaid? No, I wasn't on the wedding party. That's bridesmaid made of honituris. Exactly. And what made me an even better friend is that she had finished her business and then she looked at me and she was like, oh, no. I was like, what?

She was like, I have to go. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you don't. You mean poos? She had to go poos. She did. So she had to go to bed. So I had to hold her dress while she was doing number two. No!

No, no, no, no, no. That's a bride. You're not even in the bridal party. Yeah, no. I would have been like, maid of honour. You've got to do poos. She's got to do poos. I couldn't run out of there because, like, you don't want everything to get everywhere.

She knew. She knew. She knew when she took you in there that she needed to do poos because... Can we run a poll on our Instagram? Did you need to take a shit on your wedding day? That's quite horrible. That's quite grim. But I've never thought about it.

I just assumed not. When you've got the dress. Or beforehand, right? Yeah. But then you might be so like... Nervous. Tense and nervous. It all howls in and then

the sweet release of of it's all done and dusted and then oh that's horrible kim i'm so sorry you had to do that oh it was one for the memory bank let's be honest yeah see i think she asked you so she didn't have to ask one of her bridal party yeah you should have been on that bridal party yeah after that anyway you should have definitely walked out, ripped the dress off the maid of honour and put it on yourself. I was thinking about it, to be perfectly honest, but no, the day had been all done and dusted,

so no, that was right. Well, Kim, that was a lovely kiss. Yes. Lucy, good morning. Good morning. Now, Lucy, why are you on the naughty list? So my partner and I swapped cars and I need to go to the mall. And he's got quite a long car.

And the neighbours were doing some renovations and they had some concrete blocks on the driveway. And I went straight, I underestimated how long the front of the car was. Oh, right, because you've got a long one. And I went straight into the concrete blocks. And when my partner came home, he's asked me what happened to my car. I was like, oh, I didn't notice anything. What are you talking about? Did you say it exactly like that, Lucy?

Because that totally sounded like... That was a lie. That sounded like the worst lie in the world. No, I said it quite smoothly. Okay. And I said, oh, it must have happened when I was at the mall. And he was like, oh, really? So he believed that one, but I feel a bit bad for him. Does he really believe it, though?

Yeah, he did. Oh, wow. Okay. How would somebody do that at the mall, though? Because you can... They were driving a cinder block. Right. Honestly, you know how drivers are these days.

Why were there blocks on your driveway? The neighbours were renovating their house and they had the concrete blocks there to do the driveway. Is it on their driveway? Yes, on their driveway. We had a joint driveway. Ah. Okay.

Yeah. I mean, you knew the blocks were there. You just didn't. I knew the blocks were there. I just didn't see them. Yeah. But, like, that time you're in charge of that good christmas yeah okay all right well this is a hard one for me isn't it because i have to choose i've been driving a car around but it's hanging off it for ages now it's fine it's fine

absolutely fine yeah see i this is hard. I just, I can't go past the poo. Yeah, she had to deal with poo. I was going to, I don't want to interfere, but that was definitely where my vote was. I mean, I think any other day

Lucy might have won that one, but Kim, your services to the bride who needed to do number twos when she lured you into the toilet under false pretenses. Yeah. As for a number ones, I think you've got to take this out today, Kim. Congratulations. Oh, perfect.

Thanks, guys. On the nice list. So now we're going to pop under the Christmas tree. Now this is, it looks like an envelope size, doesn't it? This one. I've selected this one. Okay. Do it closer to the microphone so that she hears the wrapping.

I thought it was kind of close enough that it was obvious I was doing something, but it wasn't over. No, go again, but closer. That's better. That's like saying, hey Nan, I'm about to open your present, and then go put it right by area and be like. Can you hear it? Can you see it? I'm opening your present. People can't see it on the radio, can they?

It was a subtle sound. It almost was so subtle and sound it felt like you were seeing it. Yeah. Okay. Kim, congratulations. You have won. You've won a JBL Bar 2.0. This is a sound bar that goes with your TV, or you can use it without a TV or other devices.

It is worth $299. Woo! Thanks, guys. Congratulations. Nice work. Well done. Actually, I have another chance for you to win as well with JBL $200 cash with our JBL jingle.

We'll tell you the Christmas jingle song you've got to be listening out for at 9 o'clock this morning. JBL Gifts for everyone this Christmas. Go to jbl.co.nz, and reckon it's good we didn't give it to Lucy. She probably would have run it over with her husband's car. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. Kids last day at school today. Last day for the school year.

Okay. Yesterday they had the daff because it was raining really heavily and they would have been like stuck inside the classrooms and the teachers have said, oh, it's raining heaps. You can keep them home. Because of COVID. Because of bubbles and stuff. Okay.

So we were like, oh yeah, they can stayaps. You can keep them home. Because of COVID. Because of the bubbles and stuff. Okay. So we were like, oh, yeah, they can stay home. So then when I got home, it was raining. So what a perfect excuse not to do anything. So turn on the PlayStation and decided Teacher Vaughn would be giving a lesson, a Fortnite lesson. Okay, this is a real reliever teacher move. It's a real chuck on a movie. Yeah.

Move from the teacher. So we spread out and we played Smith trios, which is where there's three players that were all Smiths. So this effectively is a class in Battlefield Tactics, really, isn't it? Yeah, teamwork. Yep. Responding to instructions. Yeah. Map reading. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. it? Yeah. Teamwork. Yep. Responding to instructions. Yeah.

Map reading. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Orienteering. Orienteering. Prioritization. Yep. Organization.

Is there any medical work? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone gets wounded, there's a bit of medicine. Somebody takes on the role of medic, they carry the supplies. Yeah. You know, there's a lot of hand-eye coordination. Yeah. It's all there. Yep. They carry the supplies. Yeah. You know, there's a lot of hand-eye coordination. Yeah. It's all there.

Yeah. Dealing with frustration, dealing with loss if a teammate goes down. You've got to obviously process that emotionally. So many lessons in Fortnite. So many lessons to be had in video gaming with your kids. And I tell you what, I don't want to pat myself on the back for being a great teacher. Yeah. But we had three wins in a row.

Oh, wow. We had three victories in a row, which was very exciting. All of us was very excited because I've just set her up a Fortnite account, so she's got her own Fortnite account, and he's got her own Fortnite account. I've got my own Fortnite account, so we're out for heads. We're out to count. They could be esports players in 10 years earning millions of dollars.

Absolutely. That would be fantastic. Yeah. I'd be stoked on it. So we were two wins in when producer Jared shows up. Oh, okay. He logs on, requests to join party, and I thought, well, technically this is a class, but he could be my teacher aid.

Okay, yeah, so you jumped in as a teacher aid, Jared. Yep, teacher's assistant, JP. Okay. He was in, and he witnessed our third victory. Yep. We were moving pretty fluidly as a unit by the time you joined, weren't we? Yeah, it was cohesive squad. Yeah.

Yeah, okay. The girls were racking up the headshots. Yeah, they do. They muck around with these body shots straight for the headshots. Wow. Okay, great. Nine and seven. Yeah, great.

And absolutely taking names. But then Sade was, I thought we were going to get a whole, great. And absolutely taking nines. Yep. But then Sade was, I thought we were going to get a whole bit of a telling off from Sade. But she was stoked because it just kept them out of her hair. So she was all for it. I think that's what at-home teaching's turned into, eh? Just that's got them out of my hair. Yeah.

Great. Yeah, totally. If somebody else can get involved and they can not be your problem for a little while, that'd be great. But no, yeah, three wins on the trot. So what NCEA credits do you get from Fortnite? Well, we just mentioned every skill.

Right, okay. Every life skill you can take out of it. Head shots. Yeah. Open communication. I mean, it's more or less a communications degree from AUT. Yeah, so what, the girls will be working in PR in no time? Oh, yeah, yeah, of course they will.

ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. Play ZM. Hey, you on the phone, I bet I can guess your mum's name. Well, the return of I bet I Can Guess Your Mum's Name. Vaughn has five questions to ask Phoebe this morning about her mum. And if you can do that in 15 seconds, guess her mum's name. You win $100, Phoebe. Good morning.

Good morning. Phoebes. Phoebes. All right. Phoebes. I mean, you probably hate the friends reference but I'm just gonna put down before I even ask

any questions I'm putting down Monica and Rachel Okay Just you have to right? Yeah And of course Karen Put down Gunther too

just in case Okay I'll put Gunther R.I.P R.I.P yeah Gunther Although that is a waste of a second isn't it? And Janice

Janice. Janice. And... Emma. Oh, yeah. Okay. And... What was Ross's first wife's name? The Oh My God Lady?

No, that's Janice. That's Janice. Ross's first wife that was a lesbian? I can't remember. Do you know Ross's first wife's name from Friends? Was it Emily? Emily? You had, no, that was the new one.

Susan. Yeah, okay. Susan, okay, put that down. You're getting a bit of an older range there. All right, okay, okay, okay, okay. Okay, Pheebs. How old is your mum? What's your mum's age?

It was Carol, actually. Carol? Yeah, it was Carol, says producer Jared. Jesus, Susan Carol. Okay. Unless Susan is Phoebe's mum's name and she was saying that, so you'd say it. Well, it's on the list anyway, so maybe that's why.

How old is mum? 54. 54? So she was born in 1967? Correct. Great year! That's the year my Land Rover was made. Okay. So she was born in 1967? Correct Great year, that's the year my Land Rover was made Okay So I might, um

We'll put down your nana's name then Rita Yeah, put down Rita Rita That's, oh, that's No, there's a couple of younger Ritas in there I'm going to put down a A Helen

Okay There's always got down a a Helen. There's always got to be a Helen in the mix. There's of course got to be a Linda. You're talking late 60s. You've got to have yourselves a Catherine. Alright. Next question.

Your Honour, what does Mum want for Christmas? She wanted Oh, I don't know if I want to say because she might be listening, but okay. Some rummy cub, you know that game? I beg your pardon? You can't say that word on the radio.

Some rummy. Not anymore. Some She wanted what? Rummy. What? Rummy cub. Rummy cub? Yeah, it's a game. I've never played with my Rummy Cub on the radio. Wait a minute, what is Rummy Cub?

Let's go to the social media. There's Carween. What is this? It's like a tile game, right? Yeah, yeah. So it's like Scrabble. Dominoes. And you like match up the little tiles?

Yeah, and you've got to make little, like, either sequences or the same. Yeah. Right, okay. Runny cup. Or she wanted wine glasses because a couple of them have broken recently. Oh, she loves the tipple, does she? Because when you break one, you might as well break two because you can't have a set of five, but you can have a set of four. But the minute it goes below a set of four,

you might as well chuck out the whole lot and start afresh. Yeah, I always throw out the uneven one, even if it's perfectly fine. But do you make a judgment call on which one's got to go? Like which one is the weakest of the remaining five? Yeah, absolutely. To even it out? Got to have even amounts. Okay.

Okay. A couple of names there added to the list. I already got a Carol. I really felt like a Carol there. Okay. Do I have an Andrea? No, I'm going to put an Andrea on the list. I can imagine Andrea being stoked with some heavy-

Oh, yeah. Heavy-bottomed- Good? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. What? No, no, no. Not good. Not, like, classy.

Right. Some heavy-bottomed wine tumblers for outside dining. Oh, yeah. Okay, yeah. So they don't just have poker. Now, in the 90s, there was this wine, and I'm sure everybody's mum probably has one. And when I go to my parents this Christmas, I'm going to take a photo of these glasses up. I'm going to put them up and say, does your mum have a set of these?

Okay. They were plastic outside wine tumblers, and the base was really heavy. Now, the base came in like a range of colours. It was dark blue, dark green. I'm having mad flashbacks. And they were really heavy now the base came in like a range of colours it was dark blue dark green I'm having mad flashbacks and they were really heavy so they sat right the table

wobbled they wouldn't fall over that set and you could screw the base off never heard of them you'll know what I said you know what I mean when I say I'm

gonna get my sister to send me a photo she's gonna my parents place today um I hope that wasn't a surprise okay got a got a Joanne uh probably put parents' place today. I hope that wasn't a surprise. Okay, got a Joanne. Probably put a Vanessa on there.

Yeah, do that. Okay, next. Jesus, I've only done two questions. I will hurry this up. What are your summer plans? What are mum's summer plans? Probably go to the batch in Taupo for a bit.

Oh, okay. That already takes care of question five. What was that? That was like, is she a beach goer or like where is she? Oh, okay.

Yeah, right. So you've got a batch. Yeah. Ooh. Boat, do we have a boat as well? Can we get the sea biscuit out,

the lake biscuit? You don't have a batch in Taupo without a boat, do you? Yeah, it's a 70s boat, so, you know. It's a 70s boat, but it's still a boat. Ooh! Ooh, stop. It's a family batch. Okay, oh, nice, okay.

Why do people with batches always have to, like, downplay it? Because, like, did you know this here, us, moments ago, going, all the people with our batches are like, Screaming at you know this here moments ago? All the people with our matches are like, Screaming at you for no reason. Yeah. Got a Lisa there. A Lisa, okay. Yeah, I'm just thinking of people I know that have downplayed their wealth.

How well they've done for themselves. Okay. Might chuck a Wendy on the list. Okay. What are your mum's siblings' names? Linda and Peter. Oh, okay. So I had Linda on the list.

Yeah, so you're in the right area, aren't you? Yeah, yeah. I'm in the wheelhouse. In the generation there. She's getting a Mary. Oh, yeah. She's getting a Tracy. She's getting a...

Did you get a Liz? Have you got a Liz on there? An Elizabeth or a Liz? Yeah, I might go just a straight up Elizabeth, but of course the nickname is Fulinder. And I got the question with the beach goer thing. What would mum put in her wine glass? Sav.

Sav. Oh, she loves the Sav, doesn't she? Sav. Thought so. Well, Vaughan's mulling over the names. Phoebe, there will be 15 seconds. Vaughan will mulling over the names. Phoebe, there will be 15 seconds. Vaughn will read out all the names he's written down. If you hear your mum's name, yell out,

Stop! That's my mum's name. Okay. Vaughn, are you ready? Yes. Your time starts now. Monica, Rachel, Comfort, Karen, Janice, Emma, Susan, Carol, Rita, Helen, Catherine, Andrea, Jane, Joanne, Vanessa, Judy, Maria, Denise, Lisa, Maria. Judy.

Judy! How did you get Judy? Judy, Judy, Judy, Judy! Judy, Judy! How did you get Judy? I don't know about Judy. I went Jane and I was kind of Joanne and I just had this Jay feel. Yeah.

There wasn't a specific Judy in my mind there. Okay. Judy loves a Sav. Judy Bailey. Now that I'm picturing it. Your mum's not Judy Bailey, is it? No. Imagine that.

That would be amazing. What scoop that would be for the last bit I could guess your mum's name. Yeah. For the year. All right. Well. Bonus round. While you're on the phone, I'll have a go at guessing your dad's name. year. For the year. Alright, well, bonus round! While you're on the phone, I'll have a go

at guessing your dad's name. It's good. You say Judy Bailey, what if Judy's husband's name and Phoebe's dad's name is Richard, like Richard Long, like the newsreader. She did laugh before, like, that's not the first time I've heard it,

and that would indicate that Richard had been around. Dick and Judy. Richard and Judy. Punch and Judy. Dick and Judy. What? What? Nothing. Are you just...

What? What'd you say? I was just laughing. Phoebe, did you know earlier on the show we talked to someone whose name was TJ? Just the two letters. No other. I heard that, yeah. Wasn't that weird? What were your thoughts on that?

I've heard it before. What? You've heard it before? Yeah. What? Just two letters is a name. I thought like TJ Pettinata. I assumed TJ Pettinata short for assume T.J. Pettinata is short for something.

But that's short for Terry Peter. Where's the J come from? For T.J. Pettinata. He spells it with a J at the end. Silent J. Yeah. I've always liked that about him. Yeah.

I've always liked that about Peter. Peter. It's Dutch, isn't it, to do that? I can't remember. We're sidetracked. I feel like... Just go Richard. Yeah, I might go Richard.

Just go because of the newsreader. You've got a vibe on Richard. I don't know. I've got no idea of that vibe. Richard. Yeah, let's go Richard. I feel like we've dilly-dallied. Today we've got easily sidetracked.

Okay, Phoebe, what's your dad's name? Angus. Angus! Oh, what's your dad's name? Angus. Angus! Oh, we never would have guessed that. I wouldn't have ever known. Angus. Angus and Judy. Is your dad Scottish?

Yes. Well, he's not Scottish, but we're from... Right, you've got Scottish ancestry. Oh, right. Okay. Ah, hi. Ah, hi, Angus, me boy. Okay, well...

You can take a lease, but you'll never take a freedom. Phoebe, congratulations. $100 for getting... Bet I can guess your mum's name today. Awesome, thank you. We missed out on Angus there, but hey, you can't win them all, can you? No. No, you can't.

Thanks, Phoebe. Thank you. See you, mate. ZDM's Fletch, Ronan Megan. I've found a listing. I've just been having my little look on Facebook. Why are you on Trade Me? No, no, no, it's Facebook Marketplace.

Oh, right. I accidentally keep clicking on the tab in the app on my phone. And because I've started doing that and then looking and having a bit of a scroll, I think Facebook prioritises it so it puts it in my feed and stuff now. I know. When something comes up in your feed and it's an ad, sometimes you want to click on it because you're like, that's interesting,

I want to know more about it, but then do you ever think, if I do that, I'm forever going to be targeted so I don't... That's me for the next six months. Yeah, exactly. That's what I'm... Well, this thing's one of these pops up every now and then, it always gets me very excited. It's the old 1980s McDonald's playground.

Which were, when did they rip these out? Like in the late 2000s? You could have the big grimace. I feel like it was gone by the 2000s. That upgraded it. They were a very ball pit heavy playground culture in the early 2000s

right okay it's when ball pits really made and then people were like these ball pits are nasty because everything

that happens in them sinks to the bottom and you're standing there with your socks because you're not allowed your shoes on in a ball pit rightly so

and you'd get a little bit wet and you'd be like what's that mystery liquid in the bottom of the ball pit so I don't know when exactly they got rid of these,

but this is the officer of the law in McDonald's land, which I believe was based on a quarter pounder. Right. Okay. So this is from McDonald's back in the day. It's the one that you would climb up into, and it was like a jail inside the quarter pounder's head. Oh, yeah, the burger.

You'd climb around the burger. I remember that. And then you could climb up to another level and look at the top of his police hat. And right, okay. And see all of the other things around. It wasn't the favourite toy in the playground, was it? Because you could only just look around it. No, but it's kind of cool because you could climb inside it.

Right, because my favourites were the Shaking Grimace. Yes, I love the Shaking Grimace. No doubt a few kids got stuck in and a few head traumas. And my other favourite one was the hamburger. Or was it the, it was like a merry-go-round. What do you call those things? Are they merry-go-rounds? And you spin it real fast and hold on?

Was that the cheeseburger? I think it was the cheeseburger. And you spin it real fast and hold on. Because, was it Ronald or the Hamburglar? No, the Hamburglar held the swings. He had his arms out and you would sit on a swing underneath the Hamburglar. That was for young kids. Was that Mayor McCheese?

I don't know. Hold on, I've got a photo here. Was it Mayor McCheese, that guy? Was that the one you were thinking of? Yeah, Mayor McCheese, that's it. The one you'd sit on and spin around? Mayor McCheese was the spinny around thing. So somebody's selling a retro playground

article. How much are they wanting for this? Correct. $1,234. But I always feel like that's when 1, 2, 3, 4. That's not the actual price. That's just to garner interest so that you'll message them and they'll be able to tell you how much they're after for it. Now, question. You've got quite a bit of

land on your lifestyle block. Yeah, I do. What would your wife say to Mayor McCheese? Well, the thing is, if I put it in the paddock, she won't see it for months. Because very rarely does she venture onto the other side of the hedge. Right, okay. That's not really her area of passion. Right, so if it was past the hedge, would she be okay with this? Certainly not.

But by the time she discovered it, I'm imagining the concrete that is set in would be so set that if I said, well, if you don't like it, you can take it out, the task would prove too hard for her. And she would leave it as is, whereas. I mean, as long as the hedge was covering it. Absolutely, the hedge would cover it. Because that's a piece of New Zealand playground history, that is.

It is, it is. The climbing up into the Mayor McCheese. Yeah. It was a pirate. I can see there's a pirate on a twisty slide, but I don't remember his association to a certain menu item of McDonald's. I remember the pirate, but it was a straight slide. Wasn't it yellow?

No, it was a twisty slide. Well, this one particularly is a twisty slide. Oh, okay. Yeah, no, I do remember that. this one particularly is a twisty slide. Oh, okay. Yeah, no, I do remember that. They might have taken liberties with the slide. We had one of those in New Plymouth. Individual McDonald's playgrounds may have taken liberties with the slides. Who were the guys that you sat on on the heavy spring and you'd go back and forward?

They were those McBirdie things, weren't they? No, Birdie was different. Right. And who did she represent? I don't know. I don't want a bird in my McDonald's. If I see a bird in an eating area, if I see a sparrow in a food court, I cover my butt a chicken.

Yeah, but then you also don't see Grimace in a food court either. No, Grimace was a taste bud. Oh, right. You know that Grimace was supposed to represent the absolute rollercoaster thrill ride that McDonald's took the taste buds on. Okay. But Birdie, no explanation as to why

there was spreading these avian bits and pieces into the playground. Well, either way, if you want an old piece of McDonald's playground, it's for sale. It's on. And I'd imagine that will go for quite a few thousand. Do you reckon?

If there was the whole set, yes, but like individually. Yeah. Also, whoever buys it is going to have to deal with someone's wife, aren't they? Putting that in the backyard. Oh, absolutely. I don't know where you're going to put that. What else could it be used for?

I'm just looking at it. What other sort of other storage? So we've had text messages in. Can't wait that the social media desk has forwarded on some text messages. Oh, well, by all means, let me open this up. There's texts about it. She hasn't forwarded on any text messages. She simply alluded us to text messages. Oh, well, by all means, let me open this up. There's texts about it. She hasn't forwarded on any text messages. She simply alerted us to text messages.

When we bought our house four years ago, it came with a McDonald's ball pit in the backyard. I've spent four years buying balls to fill it. It's amazing. What? How? That would be great, though, wouldn't it? Your own ball pit?

Because you're the only one that goes in it. It wouldn't be manky. Yeah, but how did they get a specific McDonald's ball pit? I don't know. Somebody said, I've offered them $2,000 for that Mayor McCheese. Yep. No, not Mayor McCheese. Whatever the police officer was called.

They've had an offer of $5,000 so far. Oh, or they could be saying that. Yeah, to up the price because there's no price listed. Okay. Well, something to watch. I mean, you've automatically priced me out of the market.

I think it'd be great to have here in the studio in the corner. How cool would that be? I'd climb into it for a sleep. You'd be like, Vaughn, it's two minutes to our own air. And I said,

I am a 39-year-old man who weighs over 90 kgs. There's no way I'm getting out of this quickly. Chief Big Mac. That was his name. Oh, was it? Okay. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Baby, it's cold outside. No, it's not. Baby, it's humid and sticky outside. And that means Christmas season is here in Aotearoa, New Zealand. And that means it's fruitcake season. And Big Daddy loves a big slice of fruitcake. Don't. Did you just refer to yourself as Big Daddy?

Yeah. Okay. Big old fruity daddy. Big fruity dads. The big fruit man. I love, I bloody love and have loved ever since I was a kid, fruitcake. The denser, the better. I love it.

I love fruitcake. I'm not a fan. It's too, too much. I love a thick fruitcake for any occasion. My nanny used to make this like sultana cake, which was like, I I love fruitcake. I'm not a fan. It's too, too much. I love a thick fruitcake for any occasion. My nanny used to make this like sultana cake, which was like, I called it fruitcake light. Yeah. It had fruit in it, but not as much. I love a dense fruitcake. Like,

I love, I love, I just love it. I love the variety of flavours. Yep. I love the richness. I love the variety of textures. Because you've got it all in there. I'm not a fan of the icing, the Christmas cake, almondy.

The marzipan-y, almondy. I'm not a huge fan of that. It can't be too thick. I don't need the yellow layer underneath the white layer. I just need the yellow. I just need the white layer of almond icing. That's all I need. It just needs to be thin. It's a compliment. Sometimes I won't eat it. But I love the fruitcake. I love the nuts in there.

I love the fruit. I love the glazed fake cherry things. Oh, yeah. I love those too. I love the zest. There's always got to be some zest in there. The zestier, the better. The cinnamon, the fruity clove things.

Okay. What's the fact of the day? I love fruitcake. What's the fact of the day you love fruitcake? I had some fruitcake yesterday, and it was top-notch fruitcake. Okay. And it got me thinking about fruitcake, so I just did some light reading love fruitcake. I had some fruitcake yesterday and it was top notch fruitcake. Okay. And it got me thinking about fruitcake so I just did some light reading on fruitcake and I

learnt this fact of the day. A traditional fruitcake should have the same density as mahogany wood. What? So density isn't strength. Right. Density, the definition of density is that it is the mass of a unit volume of material substance.

That's pretty flash. But basically what it means is if you get a square foot of fruitcake, so one foot wide, one foot long, one foot tall, and a one foot, same exact size of mahogany, it will weigh the same. So the space it takes up, it weighs the same. Does that mean that you'll need a skill saw to cut your Christmas? No, because that's strength. Oh, right. Okay.

Like tensile strength, is that what that's called? I don't know. Whatever, that's different. Toughness, that's different. But density is just for the same, it takes up the same amount of space in three dimensions. It weighs the same amount of space in three dimensions. It weighs the same. So what, should you have a block of mahogany when you're making a Christmas cake, a fruitcake? And then to hold it.

Side by side. Yeah, and be like, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. Okay. But yeah, if you've ever held mahogany wood, it's a rich, dark, dense wood. I don't know if I have. And pick it up. It's quite heavy.

If you had a piece of mahogany wood and a fruitcake exactly the same size, they should weigh exactly the same amount according to traditional fruitcake recipes. And that gives Big Daddy pretty jazz. Pretty jazz. And have you ever looked how many calories in a fruitcake?

Oh, do not. Do not bother. Do not. Well, Christmas is calorie free. This period from now until after New Year's is all calorie free. Yeah, it doesn't count at all. It doesn't count. My mum used to make a fruitcake and it was one of those ones that she'd start boiling the mixture

and it seemed to be on the stove for days. Yeah. And I'd go up with a ladle and I'd get a bowl and I'd scoop myself some fruitcake mix and then I'd go and hide it in my room. This is probably, if she's listening to this, this is going to be like, why are fruitcakes always so small? Because you couldn't eat it straight out of the pot. I learned that the hard way.

I burnt my mouth to a cinder. Yeah, yeah. So I put it in a bowl and I went and hid it in my room, let it cool down, and then I'd sneak a little spoonful of fruitcake mix. Gosh, he was like, why is he such a fatty? I don't see him eating. The more it's getting fatter and the cakes are getting smaller.

I fail to see the correlation and causation here. Yeah. All right, so the correlation and causation here. Yeah. All right, so today's fact of the day. A traditional fruitcake should have the same density as a piece of mahogany wood. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- It's so cute. Yeah. How do you think I have any control over that? Because if we did, I'd get one. Who do we talk to? Your mate, Boxy, mate.

Get on there. Well, I'm not getting your... We're a publicly listed company. We shouldn't do this. If he's like, okay, here's the bonuses, I'll be like, I'll distribute them, and then I'm out. I think that's theft, fraud. But you'll never know. It's only a crime if you get caught.

Yeah, I'll say something to Bogsy like, now the key to a Christmas bonus is being humble about it. So I don't want you asking anybody what they did with their Christmas bonus. Actually, what this story says, a lot of people have been cut, a lot of workplaces have cut Christmas parties. And I know a lot of like bars and restaurants that are struggling at the moment have said the same,

like people were going to have parties, but because of COVID, they've cancelled them. And so there is this kind of talk online at the moment. If your workplace is cutting Christmas parties and end of year fun, should you be entitled to a bonus? But we actually did have a Christmas party last weekend, didn't we? We did. And it was lavish. And it was actually funded by the company this time rather than other means. It was lovely.

So that's good. It was nice. Went to a nice Airbnb, didn't we? I don't know. Vaughan didn't turn up for that part. Vaughan didn't go. So you actually can't complain at all. I want a bonus.

No, he'll want the cash equivalent. I want my cash equivalent. Famously, I'm a big fan of cash equivalents. You do ask for the cash equivalent. But we ran a poll. Should your work give you a bonus or Christmas gift if they cancel the Christmas party? 84% said yes.

Right. It is like, it's always a good shindig. It's always a good, you know, bit of fun. You always get something. Yeah, it's too many people. Too many. Okay. You just want the cash equivalent, do you?

Yes, please. Okay, right. Yeah, that'd be great. Okay. But then, what if you don't have a Christmas party? There'd be lots of places this year not having a Christmas party. No, exactly. Yeah, well, that's what people are saying. They should get something from it. Right. But what if they never have a Christmas party? There'd be lots of places this year not having a Christmas party. No, exactly. Yeah, well, that's what people are saying.

They should get something from it. Right. But what if they never have a Christmas party? I don't know. What would you prefer? Party or bonus? Bonus. Exactly.

Who's the bad guy now? The cash equivalent for whatever they do for Christmas. Exactly. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Megan. Well, it takes a big man to apologise, doesn't it? Well, Big Daddy Fruitcake has an apology to make to Mr Ryan Reynolds, who I'm sure is listening to the show. Good morning to Ryan and Blake Lively and their three daughters.

I believe listening on our new Coromandel Frequencies. Yes, well, he's here for the summer. I have to apologise because I thought the Peloton ad featuring Chris Knopf, Mr. Big, of Sex and the City, again, spoiler alert, just one, two, three, four, five,

spoiler alert, one, two, three, four. Now we talk about it. They, he dies after a Peloton workout. Peloton were upset. I bought shares yesterday. I haven't seen how my shares

in Peloton are going today. I, what, the shares had gone down like 20 or 30% after the episode because everyone was freaking out. Yeah. And then all of a sudden an ad comes out on Sunday after it airs on Friday.

For Peloton featuring Chris Knoth saying, should we go for another ride to a younger lover? And you think, oh, this is a bit too much. And it wasn't. He was talking about going for a Peloton ride and then a whole lot of information about how Peloton's very good for your health. Was Rowan Reynolds in that ad?

He did the voiceover at the end. He also, if you didn't know, runs an advertising agency. Yes. And he's come out and said he did turn this around. They turned it around in 48 hours. They made that ad. I know. Because I thought it was an inside job and they knew that it was

coming. Yes. And so they organised it. And he's saying no, it wasn't. It was turned around that quickly. So what? Ryan Reynolds works weekends is what I take from that. Peloton's share price has gone up in... Like your shares have probably gone up a little bit actually, Vaughn.

No, it's gone down Oh has it gone down Oh I'm looking at the one day I'm looking at the one day price Yeah the one day went from 41.3 to 40.0 How you got to ride the lows to chase the highs It got down to 37.88 So you're climbing up a little bit

I am I'm getting up there a little bit But yeah before this they were up at 46 Well yeah they really like burned over what one lockdown everybody wanted a home yeah all right one episode might have missed that thing but i missed the train on that one thing but you should have got it on friday you can't even sell them all this is like when my um grandfather left me 5 000 apple shares and and you you what? I threw them out. I threw them away. Because you said,

these home computers will never take off. No one wants a computer in their home. Everyone will, they'll be listening to us, these computers. Killer robots next, is it grandfather? And I burnt them.

You burnt them, yeah. Well, who's laughing now? Not me. ZM's Fleshborn and Megan.