ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 15th June 2020

Episode Date: June 14, 2020

How to tell if your partner is a selfish lover  Top 6 - Why men aren't getting as much sex  Executive Producer Anna went to a Comedy Club  Chloe Swarbrick  Patea Lotto  Vaughan has new neighboursSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, brought to you by McCafé. Grab yourself a delicious barista-made coffee for only $4. ZM. Hit music. Lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Good morning. Morning. Morning. As always, surprised. It always sneaks up on me. It always sneaks up. I hear Ash doing the news and then the show sneaks up on me. Okay.

Are you looking for temps, are you, over there with your Met service? Yeah, oh, oh, Marama. Minus 6.3. Minus 6?

Oh, I hope Richie McCaw got insulation on that skyline. You've got to get a garage. Yeah. Total span.

Bro. Christchurch, minus 1. Timaru, minus 4. Just looking at the coldest places. Ototaroa, one degree this morning. Macedon, two. Napier, zero.

Gizzy, two. Those are the coldest spots. My temperature gauge said five driving in, and I was like, oh, that's cold. Nips. Little nips. Yeah. Good Lord.

Well, they will be little because it's so cold. They pull in, don't they? They do. Then they go out of it. Yeah. Thanks for that. Coming up on the show, the top six. Yes, young men aren't

making love as much as they have previously. Really? Yes, there's been a dramatic drop off in the amount of lovemaking. Right. For young men. Have you been running a survey? I've been asking a lot of them.

Excuse me, young man. I've got the top six reasons young men aren't getting as much loving. Okay. Also coming up, if your partner does this one thing, they're a selfish lover. I'll tell you what the one thing is. Alright, so next on the show though, there's been a cyber attack.

This happened last week. You might have seen this in the news, but there's a problem. Talk about this next. Well, it happened last Monday. The lion, you know the people that make booze. Lion breweries.

Lion breweries, beverages. Yep. They were victims of a cyber attack. Did you hear about this? No. It was just news last week that apparently a cyber attack, that kind of, you know, that ransomware where somebody. Somebody clicked on something.

Somebody at the brewery at Spates must have clicked on a link or something. And yeah, they haven't given out too much details, but typically what will happen is companies can be held ransom for a lot of money. Because they've got details or nodes or something. Well, no, they just know because... Just corporate secrets. Remember we talked about Fisher & Paykel, right?

Not just that, but they can't use their systems to operate. Oh, of course. And so, you know, they can't produce anything, companies typically, so that's why, yeah, they have to pay this ransom. I don't know if they had to pay a ransom, but they shut down their systems to be safe. But that has meant that because they shut down their systems as a precaution,

the Spates brewery stopped temporarily. So they've said that this may impact delicious Spates beverages. So wait, are they up and running again or are they still down? It sounds like they're up and running now, but there might have been a bit of a lull in some products. They haven't said too much. I liked how you described them as delicious spates beverages. Given that you would never drink one because you're not a beer guy,

let alone a dark beer guy. I'm not a beer guy, no. No. But what a time because, you know, the big ruggers game at the weekend, Highlanders Chiefs. Yeah. Bad timing. Although apparently they were producing during lockdown.

So I'm not too sure how that... Oh, lucky no one was drinking during lockdown. There'll be a back. There'll be a back catalogue for us to enjoy of those delicious Spades beverages. Yeah. Also, that might be the first time anyone's ever described it as delicious. I just can't see your average Spades drinker being like, that's a delicious beverage.

Bloody good mate, bloody good mate. Bloody hell, it's been a hard day out here on the farm and now I'm going to have a delicious Spades beverage. But yeah, apparently the IT team, CyberAdvisor, is working around the clock and investigating and they're saying that our teams are working hard to service customers and suppliers. So, yeah.

Wow. But yeah, I'm sure if it's any other products. I don't know. What else do they make there? Do they just do spades? Do they do cider maybe? At the... They do a cider.

At that specific... Yeah. I don't know. Then Fletch is like... Then you're upset. There's lots of vats. Yeah, cyber. Yeah. Cyber cider cyber. Yeah.

Cyber cider. Cyber cider. Did you just call cider cyber? I think you said hit me with your cyber, and it sounded quite like sexually charged. Like you wanted to dirty talk online or something. Oh, do people still call it that? I haven't dirty talked online for ages.

Do you want a cyber? That was late 90s, early 2000s. Do you want a cyber? That was late 90s, early 2000s. Do you want a cyber? Wow. Next, if your partner does this one thing, they're a selfish lover. But then you've also got to find out that they're doing this one thing. Right. They're probably going to keep it on the DL.

Okay. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A sex expert has revealed... A sexpert? A sexpert has revealed if your partner is enjoying some self-love, then they're a selfish lover. Now, let me clarify. This doesn't mean at all.

Right. They mean if they're doing it in place of sex with your partner. So if you would rather. Right. Because it's less time, less work. If you would rather just do it on your own and you're substituting that. Right. So it's not like you're not getting any.

So you do that. You're doing that instead of. Yes. Right. Then you're a selfish brother, so you do that. You're doing that instead of. Yes. Right. Then you're a selfish brother. So you can do both. You could do both. Yeah.

I reckon I could. We're not really talking about in one day though, right? No, I don't want to know. I don't want to know. Hey, baby. So they say that it is the foundation of a healthy sexual relationship, but you need to make sure that it's not in place of being with your partner intimately. Should I dance around that sufficiently?

Yeah, I think that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. You hear about that. That's when people who, you know, people who have been laughed it, they've come out quite bravely, I think, and said, hey, I've got a porn addiction. Yeah. And everyone's like, hee, hee, hee, hee.

But that's when they believe it actually becomes a problem is when that becomes your preferred method of pleasure, right? And your partner's like, shall we? And you're like, oh, no, it's all good. I just had one. Just took care of that. Just had one.

Yeah. You know, someone's like, do you want a cup of tea? You're like, no, no, I just had one. But the cup of tea is playing with yourself. We got that.

Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So that is, yeah. But, nah, not a problem for me. I'm...

What? I enjoy both. Yeah, but nah, not a problem for me. What? I enjoy both. I enjoy both cups of tea. You're not going to say no to another cup of tea? Should I have a couple of cups of tea a day off my board? And then I'll have a cup of coffee as well. What is that? I don't know.

I think it's bye, isn't it? Is it? I don't know. Shit. you mean why? I think it's bi, isn't it? Is it? Is it? I don't know. Shit. I've not delved into that. I don't know where this cup of tea analogy is going. I mean, there was a couple of frappuccinos in college, but I don't know.

You know, that was an experimental time. Fleshfawn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Well, I mean, this is just another example of a privilege that I hadn't noticed. That's the last couple of weeks. There's certainly been an awakening to privilege that maybe you didn't know you'd been enjoying.

I'd never thought about this as the reason that there weren't different coloured plasters. But Band-Aid has come out and said, we are now releasing non-white tone sticky plasters. Band-Aid has come out and said we are now releasing non-white tone sticky plasters. Band-Aids. Everyone calls them Band-Aids. I never even thought about it. I remember somebody last year said they were releasing them

in a range of colours. I was like, that's cool. But I never thought that they were that colour because it's kind of like, it's nobody's real. Every now and then you'll get a Band-Aid, you'll put it on and you'll be like, holy moly, that is like exactly the colour. But the majority of which, those old material ones where you cut them yourself, that was never really anybody's skin tone.

Was it? It was. And those cheap plasticky ones are always like, look a little orange. So maybe like Donald Trump or someone who's. And you get the blue, the blue ones for like food service workers. For food service workers. Or minions. Yeah. But you never get the skin?

With having kids in the house, we've only got the... Minions. We've only got the frozen. Yeah. There was Peppa Pig, minions. But the problem is it's always like, I need a plaster. It's like, you don't really. You want a plaster. You just want a minions or a frozen plaster. And then they have it on for five minutes and they pull it off and they're like, you don't really. You want a plaster. You just want a Minions or a Frozen plaster.

And then they have it on for five minutes and they pull it off and they're like, it's all better. What a waste of a plaster. I'd never even thought about it. You're right. Yeah, but Band-Aid. The idea of it is that it's supposed to be skin coloured, right? But then it's like, well, it's only a small percentage of skin colour. It's not everyone's. Because they have transparent ones, don't they, as well?

I don't think they're not as good for some reason. They don't stick very well. Yeah, they don't. Why is that? Oh, I don't know. I've never had that issue. Have you ever tried the transparent ones? I don't think so.

But is that maybe why? Because, you know, there's nothing worse than a plaster that will not come off. Sometimes you're like, oh, God, like stay on for a day and then come off. But they're like, no, no, I'm here forever now, I assume, until you tear me and half your skin off. It's because you wear those mum ones that you have to cut off. They stick like crazy. Yeah, and they always leave a lot of sticky residue.

Like a lot of residue. But anyway, this is Johnson & Johnson-owned Band-Aid. So this might help people forget about that time that they had to pay $4.7 billion for talcum powder-related cancers. Yeah. But they announced that, yeah, they're going to be, Band-Aid are going to be releasing a range of colours for Band-Aids now. Good.

Yeah. I mean, it's taken a long time, but we got there. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Pride month. And while Donald Trump and his ultra-conservative government seem think it's a good month to strip rights of the members of the rainbow community, all-inclusive rainbow community, Nickelodeon seems to have been right at the forefront of just a lot of stuff lately.

Like Nickelodeon aired eight minutes and 46 seconds of nothing after the George Floyd death. Yeah. Floyd George. George Floyd? I'm sorry. I always get confused and then I doubt myself. George Floyd. George Floyd.

Right. Should have backed myself. Megan's choking on her coffee. No, I choked on my own spit, you know, when you breathe in sometimes. And you got a little extra hanging around in that shirt so it hits the back of the throat. Yeah. Apologies.

So they released a picture of support. They tweeted this to say, happy Pride Month. And including SpongeBob as an ally to the LGBTQ plus community. Schwartz from Henry Danger and Cora from the Legend of Cora. Right.

Who's like the sequel series to Avatar the Last Airbender, which I didn't know that she was a gay character, but I've done some research and apparently so. Right. And Schwartz from Henry Danger is trans. Right. Female to male.

Yeah. And SpongeBob, everybody's like, what? Huh. That makes sense. Okay. I get it. I didn't, I never thought about it either. I just thought that cartoon was just generally like

what's happening here? Sponge under the water lives in a pineapple. Yeah, I don't think anyone had ever assigned him a sexuality. But I tell you what, the gay community has really welcomed

SpongeBob with open arms been like of course he's gay have you seen him drive there's lots of different things been like whenever he

whenever he goes out with Patrick he always takes the more effeminate role didn't Patrick and him get married in one episode and have a baby

I don't know I don't know. I don't know. I think they did. It's just good stuff. Remember when we got a photo with SpongeBob at Dreamworld? Oh, that was great. SpongeBob and Patrick. And Patrick, yeah.

And SpongeBob's a weird one that's lasted the time. Like, it's my daughter's birthday today, and for her birthday cake yesterday, she wanted a SpongeBob cake. She loves watching SpongeBobob just because of how ridiculous in nature the show is. It's so crazy. It's so appealing and I can sit down and watch episodes with her and just be like, this is

still so good. Yeah. You know, it's over 20 years since it first came out. It's still so good. It's been 20 years. Yeah. Jeez, okay. Yeah, 1999 I think was the first ever Spongebob. Has anyone been back to the first episode and seen if Spongebob looked different? You know how the original Simpsons, they were a little bit warped looking?

They were way different. You don't want to go back 20 years and might have to cancel Spongebob for something. I think he's always been pretty woke. Right, okay. I don't know though, you're right. You're delving back 20 years, you're walking a fine line of having to cancel your hero. Yeah. But then I don't know.

I think SpongeBob's, you know, he's going okay. Flesh, Vaughn and Megan. The podcast. ZM. From the ZM think tank. This is the top six. Hello there. A study has shown that American men's sexual activity among young American men

has sharply declined since the year 2000, with a third reporting no sex with a partner in the prior year, meaning they had a... played with themselves. Yeah, but with a partner. That doesn't just mean girlfriend or boyfriend. That just means anybody. Right.

They had by themselves, but no. From the year, from 2000 to 2018, it changed nearly. One in three US men aged between 18 and 24 reported no sexual activity in the past year. Do you reckon they would be the same here? I don't know. Does it speculate as to why that is? Stress of juggling work and intimate relationships and just not having the time. And just CBF too hard basket.

As well as prevalence of other forms of solo entertainment. Wink, wink. Yeah. But apparently also lack of sexual activity or sexual inactivity was also on the rise amongst men and women aged 25 to 34. Really? Yeah. Crazy.

Not from what you've found? What about the studies you've been conducting? I haven't done any studies. What are you talking about? You've moved out of that demographic, but it doesn't mean you're still not engaging with that demographic. We've got no further comment, Your Honour. You're pleading the fifth.

I've got the top six reasons young men aren't getting as much love, and number six, Lynx Africa. Back in the day, there was very limited choice, wasn't there? But now, there's a whole world of fragrances, but some still choose to wear Lynx Africa. Do the honeys not love Lynx Africa, Megan? I mean, it's a whole world of fragrances, but some still choose to wear Lynx Africa.

Do the honeys not love Lynx Africa, Megan? I mean, it's not my first choice. It was the smell of the 90s. Yeah. But no, not so much anymore. Well, when you're in high school, you're like, oh, yum, smell eggs. But then, like, your tastes evolve. That a boy just doesn't stink like B.O. Yeah.

You're like, oh, my gosh, you took the effort to do one second squirt under each armpit? Yeah. I appreciate that. Oh my God, thank you. Number five on the list of the top six reasons young men aren't getting as much love and older men. Oh, that's swooping in there. Right.

And some women quite like, or ladies, or young ladies quite like an older man. Yeah, right. Yeah. Name. Number four on the list of, and some of it's a bit creepy, but that's okay. Number four on the list of the top six reasons young men aren't getting as much love in, satin boxes. They used to be a ticket to ride.

Were they? Were they? Or a ticket to slide. Slip, slide all over the place. You can still get them, eh? Yeah. Peter Alexander to a navy satin place. You can still get them, eh? Yeah. Peter Alexander to a navy satin boxer. That would be more of a beard.

That's pajamas. That's pajamas, though, right? But I think that was always their intended purpose, right? H&M. No, H&H satin boxers at the warehouse. Right. Do they have any cartoon character ones? No, they're just plain black.

Farmers, you can get a satin boxer. They used to be all the go, but... Yeah, I mean, just why would you now? You need that support. Yeah. Well, when you move out of this demographic, you need a bit more support. Yeah.

But if you took a guy home, Megan, and he had satin boxes, would that be a deal breaker? How cute is he? Yeah. I mean, that's the rule with anything, right? Because, you know, if he's cute, you can always get him out of sandboxes. Yeah.

Second date, you can gift him some cotton. Some nice ones. Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six reasons young men aren't getting as much love in. Video games. Fortnite, etc. Yeah. Because men quite like women to work around their

Fortnite schedule or Call of Duty schedule, but women don't like having to schedule around video games. Not so much. Take this from an older man. Number two on the list of the top six reasons young men aren't getting as much loving. Manners. You gotta have them.

Yeah. You gotta have them. I don't think... They're not using their manners. They're got to have them. Yeah. You've got to have them. I don't think... They're not using their manners. They're not using their manners. Please miss. Please miss. Please. That's not loving.

Please don't plead. Don't beg, but use your manners. And number one on the list of the top six reasons young men aren't getting as much love in the Satisfyer Pro 2. Oh, yeah. Sorry, men. You're quickly being made redundant. Yeah. That's got rechargeable batteries, plugs into a USB charger.

It's the real deal. Does it plug into a USB? Yeah. Oh, that's annoying. For charging? Yeah. Oh. So it just comes with a cord and you can just plug it into, like,

your iPhone or your Samsung or whatever. Yeah. I thought you got one. I do have one, but I've told you I've never or whatever. Yeah. I thought you got one. I do have one, but I've told you I've never had to charge it. I've never used it. One second's work every day and it's done. That's how good it is. That's why she hasn't had to charge it.

Yeah, right. The old Wannaclub Jonas. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Okay, we want to talk about when your parents stepped in, whether you wanted them to or whether you didn't. I'm guessing that this is a situation where you didn't want Dad to step in, but a person shared this on Twitter.

It was a letter that one of his best friends found, or they received from the father of his high school girlfriend. Right. I don't know how much of this I can read because it's pretty like he's very angry. Right. But I'll read you the start of this letter that he gave to his daughter's ex-boyfriend

from high school. Right. It's been nearly 10 years since I learned that you stole my daughter's name. Not. Wait, this is 10 years later. 10 years later. It's been nearly 10 years since I learned that you stole my daughter's name. Wait, this is 10 years later. 10 years later. It's been nearly 10 years since I learned that you stole my daughter's virginity.

Okay, so he learned 10 years ago that the virginity was stolen. Yeah. I mean, they were in a relationship. Stolen makes it sound non-consenting. Let's say that it was consensual. Consensual. Yeah.

V-plate cashing in of. But then they broke up. Why did he wait 10 years? Oh, maybe he's just reminding him that I haven't forgotten. I'm sure there would have been something, you know, like some kind of argument at the time. For a brief pleasure, you forever took from me the sublime joy of giving my pure virgin daughter away in marriage to her chosen husband.

Oh my God. And that's where I'll stop because... Yeah, there's violent threats. Violent threats. Later in the letter. Later. Now, there's no report on what the daughter actually thinks of this. I'd say she'd probably be quite horrified.

Yeah. And if she isn't, she should be. He sounds quite religious, doesn't he? I think he quotes some Bible. He needs to let it go. I know. That's really consuming him all these years later. Yeah.

But off the back of this, and hopefully not as like angry as this, when did your parents step in? And not just in relationships, like in work. It's always better when you don't, when you find out your parents have stepped in after the fact.

Yeah. Like when they've got themselves involved. I don't think it's personally happened to me, but you hear about people whose parents are so involved that they don't ask the kid's permission to get involved or the kid doesn't say, can you help me out with this? The parent just, oh. No one's parents are stepping in at work, are they?

They're not ringing up the boss saying, my little Timmy. I'm pretty sure, I think my mum called one of my bosses once. My mum or my dad. What did Ray say to them? I can't remember, but I think I might have been like, can you do it? You are particularly shocking at that. I can see why she was just like, oh my god.

Yeah, but when you first get into the workplace it's pretty scary, like. Yeah, but you want your mum to ring up and ask Mum, you do it. Or like if you're having a sick day. Can you tell my boss I'm not well today? It's not school. I know, but the transition can be hard, Fletch, is all I'm saying.

Yeah, right. Okay. But maybe you have had an issue at work and mum just stepped in or dad. They just decided they've had enough. Definitely with relationships, parents would step in. And I think you're going to be terrible at this, Vaughn, when your girls start dating. They won't start dating.

They will. Absolutely. They've said that they don't want to. They said boys are yucky. Germs. Yeah, gross, gross, gross. Augie is, surely she's got boyfriends already. Oh yeah, like 27 of them. So she says, but then I'm like, oh, do you kiss them? And she's like, oh, gross.

No way. Absolutely not. And you're like. So I'm like, I don't know what the point of having all these boyfriends is. Yeah. Do they hold hands? No. Oh, okay.

She doesn't talk to them. Something she's slightly confused about. Yeah. About what's involved in that. I've got 26 boyfriends. I don't touch them or talk to them, but they're there. Yeah, they're there. Should I want to?

Like books. I don't read them, but they're on the shelf. Should I want to? So, yeah, when did your parents step in? We'd love to know when your parents stepped in, when you didn't really want them to. A dad has left an ex-boyfriend of his daughter a note after 10 years.

Yeah, he's still hanging on to this. He's still hanging on to how he took his daughter's purity or something like that. I'm sure it was consensual. But when did your parents step in? Anonymous caller. Good morning.

Good morning. Now, what? Your parents stepped in? No, my partner's mum. Oh, okay. What did she do? Was she a bit of a Karen? No offence.

No, we actually, we asked her for help. Okay. So, our old landlord is a, I don't know how to say this politely. A dick. A dick. A dick. Let's just go with that. Yeah, pretty much. So we've been out of that place for a good couple of months now.

Yep. And we still haven't received our full bond. Oh, okay. Yeah. So we got to the point where he wasn't taking myself and my partner seriously because we're still considered a young kind of couple.

Okay. Um, so I asked her to step in and she's managed to get over half of it back. Yeah, mom. Still fighting with them

to get the rest of it because there are some complications with kind of everything that happened. It was all a big mess. Right. Um, nothing to do with us. It was all a big mess. Right. Nothing to do with us. It was all the old neighbour.

Right. But mum got in there and he instantly... Yeah. Mum knows what's up, eh? See, sometimes you just need mum to, like, give a fiery phone call. Thanks. You call another anonymous caller. Good morning.

Your mum got involved? Hello. It's important when everyone's called anonymous because they don't know that you're talking to them. Hello. Oi. Hey. Anonymous.

If you can hear us talking to you. Just say, everyone in the world say hello. Hello. Every single day. Jesus. Jesus. Hello Every single day Jesus That does happen all the time With anonymous callers Because they're like

Oh that's not my name Yeah That's Aaron Aarononymous I don't Bit of a weird one But I don't know that Anyway some text messages

Thank guy I was working Three jobs And uni full time Mum's work Was short of a kitchen hand So she volunteered me As a Christmas temp A year later I was working three jobs and uni full-time. Mum's work was short of a kitchen hand, so she volunteered me as a Christmas temp. A year later, I was still there, four jobs, still in uni.

But since I was meant to be a temp, and then Dad got involved against Mum. So I guess I did get a parent's intervention, but it was one parent against another parent. One of the guys at our work had his mum message our boss saying she didn't want him working in level four lockdown. He's 20 and we were deemed an essential service. That's a bit cute.

That's real cute. Who am I not rostered on anymore? Your mum told us you couldn't be. Your mum said you're not allowed to work level four. It's dangerous I had an employee's mum write a seven page complaint to head office Saying I was breaching her son's human rights Because he did not like aspects of the job Wow

Wow Seven pages I don't know if this is too inappropriate or not, but my mum found out that I had sex for the first time. I told her I had a sore stomach, etc. And she was a nurse, so she went through her questions and asked if I had sex

and I reluctantly said yes. And then she told me it was a UTI. And my boyfriend of like three months came to pick me up a day or so later. Before I could get downstairs and into the car, mum was down there and told him. But she wasn't like telling him off. She was just telling him that I had one. And we needed to be more careful and how to avoid a UTI and a step-by-step.

Oh, my God. Of making sure he had a clean penis. No. Now, how's your penis pH? In the future, please don't tell my boyfriend to have a clean penis. No. Now, how's your penis pH? Mom, in future, please don't tell my boyfriend to have a clean penis. Please don't. Mom, please, I'll tell him. Mom, please, please, please, it won't happen again.

I'll tell him. No, no, no, he needs to hear it from a nurse. Hello, son. Now, that thing needs a wipe. Oh, you would just want to die. That would be so embarrassing. Wow. Wow. It's more mums, though, isn't it want to die, eh? That would be so embarrassing. Wow. Wow. It's more mums, though, isn't it?

From the text machine? Yeah. Yeah, definitely more mums than dads. Yeah, without a doubt. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. We're getting some new neighbours at the Smith Estate. Yeah, the Smith Estate.

They want to move in in hear the They want to move in In time to hear the roar That's where the stags Stand on top of a Rural hill There's no roar They don't have stags No there is

They want to hear your Annoying Barking dog And all your cows And chickens Goats Famously our Neighbours love our dog

And it's barking So Meeting them Saying hello Yeah chit chat. They're South African. Oh, okay. Lovely. Recently moved to New Zealand.

Okay. And we were just talking and they said, oh, and will it be a problem? I'm going to do my South African. Where's my accent from again? I don't know. Where is it from, Jared? We're not doing my South African accent.

I don't know if it's from anywhere. It's just like a hodgepodge. It's just a combination of all of them. That's what I like. I'm an everyday man. Is Vaughan about to be cancelled? Should he be doing a South African accent? I don't know about Jared's family,

but my family love it when you do the accent. Yeah. This lights up the North Shore, mate. This accent. From Browns Bay to... Long Bay. All the bays. You know, the South African triangle.

All the bays up there over across to Albany Mall. Albany Mall. Whatever you call it. You're the only one that says Albany Mall. The outskirts of Glenfield. Yeah. That South African hotspot. Right.

They love when I know my South African accent. So we're talking and that was, and then the question got asked. Yep. Now, do you mind if we braai? Now, immediately I was like, yes, I'll be insulted if you don't. That's what I said. Because braai is barbecue, right? It's like South African barbecuing.

Right. It's an art. What is it? It's charco barbecue, right? It's like South African barbecuing. Right. It's an art. What is it? It's charcoals, right? There's a lot of thing about getting the fire right and then getting it just to wind down to the point where it cooks. To get a good braai base. You don't want to rush your braai base.

You know a barbecue you turn the barbecue on and you cook the meat? Yeah. Yeah. It takes hours. You're on a gas barbecue, you turn the barbecue on and you cook the meat. There's an art to it. Anyone can slap a pre-cooked sizz're on a gas barbecue. You turn the barbecue on and you cook the meat. There's an art to it. Anyone can slap a pre-cooked sizzler on a hot plate. There's far more to it.

Now you're talking. Well, they spent hours crafting a fire. Tell me about that processed meat. Yeah, you've got to craft the fire. You've got to build the base. I've never been taught to. I've seen it and I'm just like, so this is going to be great. So now I'm going to learn.

I was like, absolutely. I'll be insulted if you don't. Right. Now, that's that, Jussie. Sh, I'd be insulted if you don't. Right. Now, that's the thing, Jussie. Shanae, my wife, looking very confused. Right. And she thinks they have said, is it all right if we bribe? What if the neighbours want to bribe you?

Is it okay if we bribe? Right. And immediately I'm like, I'd be insulted if you didn't. So she thinks I'm trying to get some mafioso money. Yeah. I'm like, yes. Show me your rand.

The rand's not worth a lot though, is it? No, it's not. Show me your now that you're here, the currency you're earning here. I don't want your rand.

I've just done a quick thing on that currency exchange app I've got on my phone that I hide on the back page until I'm travelling overseas and then I bring it onto the front page of phone that I hide on the back page until I'm traveling overseas. And then I bring it onto the front page of the apps because that's the only time where

I'll consistently use it. But until then, it gets banished. Sometimes I delete it and then re-download it when I go overseas. I've just checked that and the rant, no good to me here. And so Sade's appalled and she's looking at me like, what are you doing? Did you get her talking to you when you left? No. And she looked so confused.

I said, bribe. And she was like, huh? And I was like, it's like barbecuing. And she was like, oh, God. And she rolled her eyes because she gets enough of that at home. She's like, you can have him. You can have him to teach him that. That sounds like a good way to get rid of him for the day.

Right. But, yeah, no bribe. But I'm also open to bribes. Bribes. Bribes. Bri. Brian's. Brian's.

Yeah. Maddie's. Yeah. All of it. I'm open to anything. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. First weekend of level one. You went to a concert?

I went to live music. It was amazing. How was that? It was great. In a crowd full of like 100 people, right? Yeah. Was it weird, like getting close to? No, it wasn't weird because I'd been to the mall, Commercial Bay,

over the weekend. That's the new mall in Auckland. And that was packed, like thousands of people. And it was just like going from like social distancing to like shoulder to shoulder. I was just like, from like social distancing to like shoulder to shoulder i was just like ah i did some people just like shopping at a little fruit shop people were still giving everyone lots of space and i was like oh we're allowed to touch each other again so i was standing at the traffic light yesterday and some guy walked up behind me like real close and i was

just like and i like i was like oh and I took a step away and then I was like oh no we're not doing that anymore. But he was like oh sorry. It's quite hard to be used to. I'm all for it. Just keep your distance. Yeah he was very close. He was personal space. But producer Anya celebrated

first weekend of level one by going to a comedy show. And did you go to Da Club? I saw Mr Bun Buns with the megaphone at a party. Was that at Da Club? Mr Bun Buns was lethal on Saturday night. Yeah. Yeah, no, that was a house party.

Okay. No, so this was Friday night. We went to a BYO and then we went to a comedy show, which was a hoot. Okay. Who was the comedy? Was it multiple events? Yeah, we had Guy Montgomery,

Ray O'Leary, Nick Raddow and Ursula Carlson. Oh, nice. Yeah, so great little line up. A lovely evening. We got there probably about 10 minutes before it was about to start and the only table left was the front table.

Because everyone knows to leave, like, don't sit too close. Yeah. And Nick Rados, so he was the MC. I think his whole first opening greeting was a bit of crowd roasting. So we were primed for the pick-in. Because the key is not to make eye contact with the person, right? I was avoiding it at all costs. My friend Ruben did not get the memo and was like,

hello, here we are, come on over here. But then if you avoid eye contact with them, surely they're like, oh, this person who's avoiding eye contact with me wants it. Because it's the one thing happening on stage in front of you that you've come to see if you're not looking at it. You can't be on your phone. You'll get roasted for being on your phone. Yeah, exactly.

So they started off by saying, Ruben, how are you going, mate? Who are you here with tonight? And Ruben goes, oh, Grace, Andy, and Anna from ZM. So that was... Oh! We three went to the bus. You don't get introduced by where you work

This is Steve from KPMG Sarah from Subway Anna from ZM He set you up He did, good from him Yeah, it was clever And unsurprisingly Nick was not familiar with my producing work And he was like, wow, celebrity in the mix

And Raven said that I was the receptionist at ZM So that was great work. And he was like, wow, celebrity in the mix. And we even said that I was the receptionist at ZM. So that was great. So we had a bit of receptionist banter. And then my other friend that we were with also works at The Breeze. So it was a radio filled table. We sang The Breeze song. That was fun. And then he went on to my boyfriend Andy

and said, what do you do? Andy's pretty shy, especially in a crowd setting and said, I work in do? And Andy was pretty shy, especially in a crowd setting, and said, I work in cars. I work in cars? I work in cars. What is he, a cigarette lighter? I do all my work in cars.

Take me out and you can plug an iPhone charger in there. So Nick said, okay, so what do you do with the cars? And he said, I'm a car journalist. And Nick goes, a car journalist. And it goes, a car journalist? What does a car journalist do? Investigate undercover car stings?

Oh, this car's not working. Like, really absolutely roasted poor Andy for his car journalism job. And then at the end when he was thanking all the comedians and like, give it up for Ursula Carson and then right at the end, give it up for the car journalist.

It's Andy. Okay, this is why you've got to be early and get a back table or at least a middle table where you're out of the firing line. Yep, lesson learnt.

Tell them a real depressing when they ask you your job too. Give them some real like... Oh yeah, like, what have you just been fired? Yeah. What do you do for a job? Nothing. I've just been made redundant. Thanks to the COVID

recession. You got any funny jokes about that? Yeah. Alright, joining us in studio next, Chloe Swarbrick. I'm just working out if that's the correct way to say her name because the O in Chloe has an onlmat over the dots. The two dots. So should it be kawaii?

Going to talk about the referendum, which is coming up in September. Kia ora, I'm Jane Yee. I'm Alex Casey. And I'm Duncan Grave. We are the hosts of The Real Pod and Confession Cam Time. We bloody love reality telly. If we sound like your type on paper,

join us each week for your fix of reality TV news, recaps and gossip. On The Real Pod, it's perfectly fine to like reality TV. It's a safe space, so let down your walls, wear your heart on your sleeve, and remember, it is what it is. And what it is, is The Real Pod. Brought to you by the Spinoff Podcast Network and available wherever you get your pods. I'm Megan, the podcast, ZM. There is a referendum as part of this year's general election, and it is whether or not,

correct me on the exact wording, in-studio guest, Chloe Swarbrick, but it is to decriminalise, legalise. Yes, it's to legalise and control and regulate cannabis. Right, okay. So what does that mean? So essentially it recognises... First of all, sorry, good morning. Good morning.

It's a Marty, eh? How we doing? It is a pleasure to have you in studio. Thanks, mate. It's a pleasure to hobble in here. So basically it recognises that the status quo is 80% of New Zealanders will have used cannabis by the time they're 21 years old. Most people will do that while they're at high school. They'll have no idea of the potency of the stuff and, you know, of course drug dealers don't check ID. Then you

add to that the fact that approximately half a million New Zealanders are using on an annual basis. We have no control over any of this. We have no idea where it's happening and where people are experiencing problems. We have no ability to intervene in that problematic usage. So this is about attempting to lay a framework of control, regulation and interventions for help where people need it. Now, here's an interesting thing. You could have just been describing alcohol, which is perfectly legal. Well, funnily enough, the Greens are actually the only party that have a consistent line on alcohol, cannabis and tobacco. So funnily enough, in 2014,

there was a report chaired by Graham Lowe, rugby legend, which recommended to the then national government that we should remove advertising and sponsorship for alcohol so that we shouldn't be glamorising and normalising the substance as we do, which is resulting in the proliferation of harm. So, you know, National Labour have been unwilling to touch that with a barge pole because alcohol lobby's pretty bloody strong. But the Greens have said, you know, if we're going to be consistent about this, if we're going to reduce harm through regulation, there are a number of different levers that you can pull

in the spectrum between making something illegal, whereby you have no control over it, it's completely within the black market, whereas when you make something legal, you're able to say, this is what it takes to provide it, these are the people who are allowed to access it, these are the kinds market whereas when you make something legal you're able to say this is what it takes to provide it these are the people who are allowed to access it these are the kinds of warning labels you need whether you're able to advertise or sponsor or whatever those we're saying no advertising

no sponsorship, no public consumption and a purchase age of 20 for cannabis and we theoretically could be doing the same thing with alcohol So it could be, that's kind of what smoking is. Cigarettes, tobacco. Tobacco is now, it's not allowed to sponsor sports.

And this is my favourite part of the argument, actually, because I get hit up by some interesting conservative figures quite often about how, you know, why are we looking to legalise cannabis when we are looking to be smoke-free 2025? Mike, do you know how we got anywhere close to smoke-free 2025? Mate, do you know how we got anywhere close to smoke-free 2025? How we reduced the cool factor of it, how

we educated young people particularly about the harms, how we created cessation treatment so people could get off it, how we did all of these wraparound services, reduced where it could be sold, etc. You've got taxation levers through legal regulation. You don't get that when

it's in the black market. Right. So you're saying the legalisation of it makes it far easier to control. Yeah, totally. And that's why it's called the Cannabis Legalisation and Control Bill. It is 170 pages, so I'm more than happy to answer any of the details. But I think one of the

things, if folks are interested in kind of getting the really key top line points, you can just go to referendums.govt.nz and there's some nice bullet points in there. Right, like a little PowerPoint. It's not quite that pretty. You could sit down because I'd imagine there'd be lots of people on a different generational field to their parents

and their parents might be maybe more conservative and just think this is terrible. Interestingly, their parents are the ones who are part of the hippie generation who are usually responsible for the proliferation of cannabis.

Exactly, yeah. They were like, oh no, now that we've done it I don't think it's a good idea or anybody else should. Which is classic.

And how they did it. They don't want their kids doing it. Totally. Well, I mean, this is another classic that I get hit with is, oh,

it's not the wacky-backy from back in my day. It's way more potent now. And it's like, well, that's because it's unregulated, mate. You have no control over the potency. If you want to actually create controls over potency, if you want people to be informed

about the impacts of their usage, put labelling on it. You don't get that in the black market. And what we've seen is consistent levels of use under illegality over the past few decades. So that would be when you would buy, say it becomes legal, you would buy it, it would tell you, you would have that sort of information on the packaging? Totally. And there would be limitations as to how much you could buy. So one of the really

funny things, because I've got really into the weeds, excuse the pun, there's going to be a lot of awful puns this year. I got really into the detail on Excuse the pun. There's going to be a lot of awful puns this year. But I got really into the detail on this legislation. I knew next to nothing about drug law reform before I came into Parliament. It wasn't a passion of mine, but I actually got really charged up because I realised that politicians were just using it as this way to

kind of have a crack at people without engaging in the substance. And I thought it was kind of the most worst use of their power is, you know, particularly because you nowadays have most politicians on record as having used cannabis back in the mists of time. But now they're quite willing to oversee a law that criminalises, penalises and ruins the futures of people who are doing exactly the same thing that they did.

Right. Yeah. And so what sort of, if this passes, so it would get legalised, presumably, if it gets legalised, then is there a committee that would decide the rules around it, the age restrictions? So there's an agency which will be established, which is the Cannabis Control Agency, and they will essentially have delegated power through the Ministry of Health to oversee the way that this rolls out. What we are looking at introducing is actually quite different to what you have in the likes of Health to oversee the way that this rolls out. What we are looking at introducing is actually quite different to what you have in the likes of Canada and definitely quite different

to the far more commercial models in the likes of Colorado and other US states. It's somewhere between actually Canada and Uruguay, but I'll get outside of the jurisdictional comparisons. So basically your experience as a day-to-day person would be you would know where the shops are. The shops aren't allowed to go like a hoon advertising out the side. There won't be neon lights talking about like getting the ganja or whatever. Instead it'll just be quite sensible.

In fact the aim here is to make cannabis boring. It's just supposed to be another alternative for how people may engage in recreation or otherwise. But we put, to my original point, purchase limits on how much you could purchase on a daily basis. And the reason for that is that obviously one of the important things around harm reduction is you want to say you can't buy to massive amounts of excess. And then all of a sudden I had, you know, different

news media commentators saying, that's the size of a grapefruit. That's how much cannabis you could buy. And I was like, no one's talking about the fact that you can buy unlimited bottles of vodka and go home and hone them. But because we started the conversation about what control looks like, people are having these really perverse conversations

about what you could potentially do. But actually what we're talking about here is creating a framework where adults, because you can only purchase it over the age of 20, get to make informed decisions because there will be labelling, there will be requirements. When you go in there,

there will be duties of care on the person who is supplying it. They get to make informed decisions about what they do with their lives. Fantastic. It makes sense. Brilliant. Thanks so much. You got it, mate.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. It's seven minutes past eight. There's an interesting article that talks about the wage gap that affects friendships. So when we're talking money disputes, it's not so much like someone owes you money, not disputes like that. Right. It's more between friendships. And I'd say this is pretty prevalent at the moment, given the fact that lots of people have been made redundant due to COVID-19 and other people haven't. And now we're into level one. Socialising is on the cards. Yeah.

We can go out to bars, clubs, pubs, restaurants, but not everyone is getting the same amount of money anymore. Yeah, I guess you've got to take that into account. If you're going out and some of your friends haven't got a job, you don't want them, like I wouldn't want my friends to be like paying for a really expensive dinner or drinks because, you know, they've got to get a job. You don't want to be burning your cash.

So this actually discusses wage differences between millennials, even pre-COVID, and how it can affect relationships. So even if you're both super chill about money, it is pretty difficult to decide on what to do if there is a huge disparity between what you earn. Yeah. So even if you go out and you want to do something expensive and the other person, you know, you offer to pay for the other person, it's pretty hard to do that in a non-patronising way. And then on the other side of things... For the night, if we ever go out for dinner and you want to pay for me, I'm fine. Of course you are.

I'm not. I won't find it patronising. Old tight- ass smithy Yeah I'll be like That'd be great Thank you But then on the other side Of things you feel You can feel really bad

If people start paying For you all the time But this has Also been a problem For a lot I know people that have Lived beyond their means Trying to

What is the old saying Is it keep up with the Joneses Champagne lifestyle Be a budget Be a budget Yeah And then Cause I When you go out Sometimes people want to do rounds And What's up with the Joneses? Champagne lifestyle, beer budget. Beer budget, yeah. And then, because when you go out,

sometimes people want to do rounds. And A, I don't like spending a lot of money on alcohol. And also, I don't drink a lot. So you'd go for two drinks or something, and I'd be like, oh, I've had enough. And you go over to that person that gets you a round, and you come back with cheaper options. Waters, pre-waters. And the bars just told us we all need to have a water.

They said no more drinking. When do you dip out? Yeah. That's why I hate rounds. Because you might want to go and then it's your round and you're like, ugh. Yeah. And then you've got to buy a whole round. You sound like the tight ass if everyone's like, do you want to do rounds?

And you're like, no, I don't. There's nine people though. Like. Yeah. You're drinking nine rounds. Yeah. Presumably you've been preloading as well because you're a New Zealander. Yeah.

So you're pretty tanked. Are you saying it affects relationships and friendships? Yeah, so people can drift apart. Maybe not so much have a big argument. Yeah. But they drift apart and don't want to hang out anymore because one person's always wanting to do expensive things. Even if they do offer to pay, you're like,

well, I can't keep taking their money. I don't want to do that. I want to do something cheaper. Just for the record, I will keep taking your money. Of course you will. You're talking to the wrong guy. If you're a friend, it shouldn't matter about money, should it? Which friend are you talking about?

The richer friend? Well, if there's a problem, it shouldn't be about money, should it? Like you should be able to compromise on that. It would be the problem, wouldn't it? In relationships, money causes the most arguments, but it shouldn't cause issues. When you socialise, it often includes money because you think we socialise over food or beverages

or go get a coffee or anything. We need to try and switch it to, let's just go for a walk without a drink. But it's hard. You said without a drink, but can I take a drink? But if you're the person that doesn't have as much, that's also hard to bring up. Right. Should we go to Nana Millennial,

who you were at the clubs at the weekend, been socialising a lot since level one. Certainly have. How do you find this with your group of friends? Eleni, you were at the clubs at the weekend. You've been socialising a lot since Level 1. Certainly have. Came in. How do you, do you find this with your group of friends? Yeah, so we actually went out to dinner last night with a couple of friends and we hadn't caught up in a wee while and found out at dinner that they'd both lost their jobs.

So, and it just didn't feel right to then be like, okay, cool. So who had the garlic bread entree? And sort of split things up. This sounds like a fancy restaurant. Garlic bread? Yeah, it was five stars. Yeah, so we felt like we were in a position to pay, so we did.

And they were, you know, both really, really appreciative of it, which is awesome. But then going ahead, like, would you then invite them out if they don't? I think from now on, I would have the conversation before we went out. Now knowing that they aren't working, I'd be like, hey, you know, this weekend, do you want to go here? Does this fit in with your budget? Or would you like to, you know, do you want to go for a walk?

Can we make your meal at our house? Yeah, give them some options and not put them in a position where they have to worry. Yeah. I think that's probably the nice thing to do. The person who has the more money should understand the situation. But we'd love to know off the back of this. We should all just go back into lockdown. We don't have to worry about this sort of thing.

Bring back level four. Bring back level four. No, thank you. I think you're alone in that one. We wanted to know if you've ever lost a friend, not so much over money disputes, but over, you know, different amounts of money you have. Has there been such a wage disparity between you and your friends

that you are no longer friends? It would be weird if somebody with money couldn't understand why people didn't want to. But, I mean, if they... Yeah, you'd think that they'd get it right. Yeah. You all had this at school, right? There were the kids whose parents were a lot wealthier

who just had everything and they'd just grown up with it so they couldn't understand why everybody wasn't wearing a Charlotte Hornets starter jacket to Matthew Day. So apparently wage divide, the wage gap affects friendships. We want to know this morning if you have lost a friend because there was a wage disparity between the two of you. Someone earned more than the other. Well, and like we said, like with COVID and a lot of job losses,

this is going to be like a new thing that a lot of us have to deal with is friends that don't have a job and are going to tighten, you know, the spending while they't have a job and are going to tighten, you know, the spending while they then find a job. You're going to have to deal with that. Social activities

that everyone can pay for. And you don't need to go pay for stuff to have fun. Go for a walk. Oh, okay, mum. I know, as soon as

I said that, I was like, oh God, that's a mum thing. You don't need to pay money to have fun. Only bored people get bored. Oh, my God. Did you get that one too?

We don't need to stop. Yeah. Kirsten. Hi, how are you? Good, good. So you had a friendship that was, what, did it end because of money? I stepped back from being her friend for quite a couple of years sort of thing just because she was always

ringing asking for money for anything and I would feel really bad because she didn't have a job, her house was always full of people, kids, she was always getting treated like rubbish so I would feel like a bad friend if I didn't help out

but then you find out that she'd be spending all of that money on the pokies or something like that. And so in the end, it would be a matter of, well, I'll go and pay for this and you go pick it up. Yeah, right. As opposed to just giving her the money. Wow, that's tough. That's really hard.

That's a strain on your friendship, yeah. Yeah, but after a while, you sort of think, well, I can't afford to pay for my own household as opposed to your own habits. So draw the line somewhere. True, totally. All right, Kirsten, thanks for your call. Thomas, you had a friend that you kind of had a straining over the money situation? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I had a mate that was unemployed and I really like going out and doing things with my mates, but I also don't mind being the one to pay for it. Oh yeah, okay. Yeah, but she ended up, because she had no job for ages and she ended up being like, hey, we should go do this, we should go do that,

like expensive things. And then she'd expect me to pay for it and I just, you know, it gets too much after a while. Right, so right when you're offering, but when they're requesting, it's a different situation, isn't it? She's like, Thomas, too much after a while. Right, so right when you're offering, but when they're requesting, it's a different situation, isn't it? She's like, Thomas, a scenic helicopter tour.

Thomas, let's go get many pennies. Yeah, exactly. All that stuff, yeah. Oh, wow. Okay, Thomas, thanks for your call. Nat, this happened with you and a friend? Yes, it did. Okay, so what happened?

Right, so basically when I was in high school, I was best mates with this guy and we used to spend multiple days together after school basically and all that. Once we left school, we went into two complete separate workforces. I went into the construction industry and he went into a more financial-based industry.

Right. And basically since then, we've just stepped apart, really. Yeah. Mainly because the type of spending that we do or the type of things that we would normally do have now become not interested in. Yeah.

Well, he's in finance. He's doing lines of coke off strippers. who have now become not interested in. Yeah. Well, he's in finance. He's doing lines of coke off strippers. And there's just no way you can financially compete with that, is there? Oh, definitely not. I mean, if the wolf of Wall Street's anything to go by, that's just what I base my financial, you know, the stock market world on.

It's just that movie, basically. And finance people are like, oh, it's not always like that. There's Mondays. Strippers don't work Mondays, so we just do our coke off mirrors like ordinary people. Yeah, it's very down to earth. Nat thinks he calls some text messages. My friend, and friend is in speech marks,

got extremely jealous when my husband and I were building a house over a few months. We're building were building a house over a few months. We're building a house and over a few months we stopped talking. When you build a house, people assume you're rich

but we'd done the calculations it was going to be the same mortgage if we built or if we bought and when we decided if we built, we'd get exactly

what we wanted. So it was a no-brainer but they assumed that we were wealthy and for some reason took an exception to that. Right. Oh dear.

My friends are now earning really good wages and I'm what I would class as a normal wage earner. I can't compete with paying $400

for a fancy dinner. Good lord. Oh Jesus. Or split. But then Each? It wouldn't be each. What are they eating? Like champagne and stuff. They're probably getting expensive. Oh okay then. Each. It wouldn't be each. What are they eating?

Like champagne and stuff. They're probably getting expensive. Oh, okay, right. Thanks. Do they work in finance? Nah, because they're eating. Oh, okay. It might be a Monday, though.

You're not hungry when you're high on coke. It's Monday. It's Monday. Oh, right. Food on Mondays. Meals Monday, they call it in finance, where they eat. The bad part about it is that it's changed her.

She'll say things like, ugh, when someone gets a new car and it's like a, just a sensible secondhand one. Oh, okay. Has said that somebody's new house was nothing impressive

even though they were working really hard to pay for their mortgage. Money doesn't define you. Being a kind and humble human doesn't. Being around the people that they hang out with now really shows you that there's no

humble left in there. They probably weren't a good friend to start with, really. Yeah. They're like that. Yeah, lots of people saying that, yeah, when people started earning a lot more money and

it's hard to come across, and a few text messages say this, it's hard to come across as not being jealous when you don't want to be part of the new group of friends because you're not their friend. to just say this. It's hard to come across as not being jealous when you don't want to be part of the Yeah. The new group of friends because you're not their friend.

You were never their friend for that reason. You were their friend because you like them as a person and they're kind of changing who they are but they said it's a few people have said

it's really hard to come across and get it across to them that you're not just jealous of this lifestyle. You've actually just got no interest in it. I don't care that you're rich. I just care that you're a dick now

Yeah Kind of thing It was better when you were a poor friend Than a rich dick Yeah Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The Podcast ZM

Fact of the day Day, day, day, day I've got a musical accompaniment It's my aux cord In and on and up Yeah In and on and up You plug it in and on and up Hey

Is it in and on and up Is my aux cord in Is it on Is it up Is it in and on and up Did you have a strong coffee? No, I just felt that that really had the potential to be a dance floor anthem. Yeah, doesn't it?

Now, okay, do you want this song? Because it's about, so today's Fact of the Day is about a sea battle. Oh, okay. So this is the theme From Master and Commander But I never saw that But Russell Crowe was in it And it was I don't know

There was shit Well it sounds like a battle It certainly sounds battle-y Or do you want Perhaps the more well-known Oh this one Pirates of the Caribbean This one

Yeah Okay I'm just gonna Get into the Just let it naturally build Let it naturally build I want a natural build. Okay.

Okay. There we go. That's better. Let's set the scene. It's 1865. Arr. Are there pirates? Arr.

Arr. I don't know. Okay. Arr. I want us to be a girl pirate. You don't have to go in a higher pitch because you're a girl pirate. Yeah. I mean, do what you want.

I'm not trying to dictate your character. I'm not mansplaining female pirates to you. Seems like you are. But I'm just saying, you be you. Okay. I wish I hadn't said that. I just wanted it to be obvious. Yeah, yeah.

But I don't want you to adhere to the stereotypes. I want you to be. Oh! Yeah. Because I can still be, like, aggressive. You could be the captain if you wanted. Yeah. Not really.

But you could be. Not... I'm not controlling that. That's just what it was like at the time. Yeah, right. You know? God, there was some rampant middle management in the pirate community. Oh, yeah.

Absolutely. The glass ceiling that female pirates faced. It wasn't good. There was a naval battle taking place between Uruguay and Brazil. A belly button battle. That's your naval, eh? Jesus. A belly button battle. A belly button battle. There. A belly button battle.

A belly button battle. It was a belly button battle. And it is called the battle of the cheese. Okay. Because during... There's cheese in your belly button. You know when you get like a little bit and you're like, oh, that's weird.

No. When you poke the belly button. I get fluff. Oh, do you? I also don't... The older I get, the more cautious I am around belly button touching. I hate my belly button being touched. Absolutely hate it. Is yours an outie?

No, an innie. It's an innie. Sometimes you'll trace a bit of... Remember, I had an outie, but I had an operation. And they pulled it back in. I had plastic surgery. I had plastic surgery when I was... If I got that skin removal... I was talking about this with some mates. If I got that skin removal, you know when people lose a lot of weight and they have to get skin removal, I'd have my belly button taken too.

No use. Don't want it. And then you just plaster it over. I'd say I was born in a test tube. Okay. I'll say I was a science experiment, but don't tell anybody. But anyway, what were we talking about? The naval battle.

The naval battle. Between Uruguay. Uruguay and Brazil. And it was at one stage, the Uruguayan ship ran out of cannonballs. Oh, no. I know. So how do you continue a naval battle? Never thought about that. They have a supply of cannonballs, and then once it's gone, it's gone.

And they just plop in the ocean, right? Yeah. Yeah. And sink pretty quickly to the bottom. I don't know how many cannonballs there are in the ocean. Heaps. And it was at that stage that the commander of the vessel said Arr!

Arr! But also Spanishy. Nobody is taking you seriously. But also Spanishy Arr! Arr! Arr! Arr! Arr! Arr! Oh, that was...

Stack some of that stanky, stale Dutch cheese that we've got. Where did we get that from? No questions! I don't have the entire backstory of that cheese. Cheese balls. Put the stale Dutch cheese. Cheese balls. Cannonballs. Cheese balls. Put the stale Dutch cheese into the cannons. Yeah.

And fire them when ready. So when they, the first two cheese ball, cannonballs, went over the ship. But the third one apparently smashed right into the main mast, breaking the mast. And apparently two sailors were killed by cheese and wood shrapnel. Death by cheese? Yeah, death by cheese. It's possible. That's how I'd want to go.

Yeah, same. Yeah. Mozzarella. And so rendering the ship that they were fighting against unable to continue chasing. So off they went and they escaped. And it was all thanks to cheese. Wow. This will be a story to tell the grandchildren.

What is that? I don't know. This will be a story to tell the grandchildren. Where are the minions? Minions! It is me, Gru. We're going to steal the moon. So today's fact of the day is in the 1860s,

when they ran out of cannonballs, a Uruguayan ship won a naval battle by firing cheese. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. People are a little bit excited that, well, it wouldn't excite me if you finally won first division lotto, but there were seven winning tickets. Oh, yeah, that'd be my luck. If I ever win it, it'll be like a big weekend, but like 30 people win it and we get like 10,000 each, which I'd be stoked about, but at the same time.

Could have been a million. Can you be like, can I save this ticket for like another weekend when no one wins first division? I'll just have that one. I don't want it this weekend. Don't know if that's how it works Megan Well Of those seven winning tickets Four of them were sold At the partier

Foursquare To the same point Using the same Was it people using the same number You know like The family always do the birthdays and stuff That's Well these were the numbers

2, 8, 17, 18, 27, 29. So all could be birthdays. Yeah. All could be birthdays. Two of those could be months. Could be February and August. That's the eighth month. The bonus ball was 15.

The power ball was three. All of these things could be easily birthdays. I wonder if anyone's done the research into that. Like when there are like draws where the balls are over 30 or 31 Less winners. Less winners maybe. Because it's not birthdays. Yeah. Totally. Mind you, when we used to sit down and watch

Daily Kano at 10 to 7 as kids and shout numbers at the screen hoping that we'd get, I'd always go for 36. That was my favourite on the old. Yeah. On the old, just scream at that. And of course, it only goes up to 40. The lotto balls only go up to 40, right?

And what's the popular birthday months in New Zealand? September. September. So nine. If a nine came out, instantly, the month,

would there be more winners? Yeah. Maybe. And less takings? Maybe. So the same people got these four tickets? So Taj Singh,

who manages the local four square, he reckons that it most likely was the same person who picks their numbers and then lays it down. But then I know people who do this. If they're going to give someone a lotto ticket for a present, they get exactly the same lotto ticket for themselves. Which is weird, right? So by any chance

this person wins first division, actually I've won as well. Which is a weird way to give presents. If you give someone a present and they win, you'd be like,

oh, I'll split it with me. But if you buy yourself the identical ticket, they have to anyway. So just... You're forcing the split. You are. Just the chance

of winning first division, so not Powerball, is if you buy a $7 ticket, your odds are 1 in 383,000. Right. So they must have been using the same numbers. Yeah, it makes sense that the same person could have.

Because four people aren't winning from the same shop. No. Not on the same draw. That would be bizarre. Because there's only 1,000. He said there same draw. That would be bizarre. Because there's only a thousand, he said there's about a thousand people locally. Oh yeah, there's not many people living in Partia. No. You'd have a few people

driving through. Yeah. But then why would you waste your money on the same numbers? To stop other people getting them. Like the same reason we were just talking about getting an identical ticket. It's that if you get it, because it's different lines. Each line is an entry.

It's not per ticket, it's per line. Each line is an entry. So if they're like, oh yeah, they might have had like four other lines, but then they had, oh those are my favourite numbers, so I'll get them printed on multiple lines, so that if it does win, I don't have to share it. Even though they are sharing it, they're still getting four sevenths of it.

Which is better than one seventh. Whereas it would have been share it. Even though they are sharing it, they're still getting four sevenths of it. Which is better than one seventh. Yeah. Or as it would have been one third. I am still going to need an interview with this winner to why, if that's

the case, if that's what they've done. Yeah. Because otherwise, if they haven't, it's still weird. I mean, if they haven't, then they're still getting

all the money, right? Yeah. I'm very confused. It's just a weird one. I'm, if they haven't, then they're still getting all the money, right? Yeah. I'm very confused. It's just a weird one. I'm so confused too. Yeah, yeah. So the person obviously, yeah, the more I think about it,

the more I think the same person's just got, or maybe they buy it for their family. They're like, I'll buy everybody, or they buy a lot of tickets. Again, what's the point? Because you may as well at least increase your chances by getting different numbers on all the tickets. No, it's like,

Yeah, but if you get a different ticket, I buy you a ticket for your birthday and I buy myself a different ticket. If you win, I'm going to be pissed because you're not splitting it with me. But if I bought us the same ticket and you win, at least I'm forcing the split. If I...

Yeah. Do you get it? Yeah, I do but, like, you're still decreasing your odds of the group winning, aren't you? But yeah, again, if you're not going to share. Unless you're buying all the tickets yourself. If you're not, if you can't trust each other, then yeah, that's the way to do it. Yeah, right. It's bizarre. There's trust issues in part here.

It sounds like there's trust issues. Fletch Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Carol Baskin. I just have to say it like that. From Tiger King on Netflix, if you haven't watched it, about 64 million households around the world watched it. Really? Households.

So I don't know how many people that is. Wow. 64 million. Well, Netflix need to release more of their stats. I'd find it fascinating. They don't, hey? No, they do the top 10, but I even wonder if that's handpicked

or if it's actual, because you know the number one thing in the moment is that movie we talked about last week, that naughty movie. The kinky movie. What's that called? 365 NDI or something? Yeah, NDI's Days, right?

Yeah. Well, Carole Baskin has been approached to do a reality series. I'm a celebrity, get me out of here. There's an Australian one and a UK one, right? I believe it's the UK one. So she's been offered an undisclosed amount of money, but you'd imagine it's quite a bit. Yeah.

To go on that reality show where they have celebrities in the jungle and they do challenges. So will they be able to film this? Where will they film it? In Europe somewhere? Oh yeah, I didn't think about that. I don't know. Will they all come to New Zealand?

The parts of Europe they've listed. Opened up, yeah. Yeah, so I would love to know how much money that is, but. It would have to be a lot because she's not doing any media. Would you ask her, like, people on that show with her are just going to want to ask her, like, what happened to your husband? It's going to come out, definitely. Yeah, yeah, they'll ask you, but she'll just say he left and didn't come back.

The same thing she said to everybody else who's asked, right? Yeah. She's not going to cave in the jungle and be like, okay, I know we're in the middle of the jungle. You cool cats and kittens, he's buried under the septic tank. Man, people would watch that though. Yeah. But she's got a zoo to run. Do you think she'll do it?

I'd watch it. That show's pretty av, but I'd watch it If Carole Baskin was on it Yeah Yeah And then competitors Just start disappearing And she's like I don't know what air

To cats and kittens ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The podcast If you enjoyed this podcast Why not give ZM's Free and Clint a listen too Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app

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