ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 15th October 2020

Episode Date: October 14, 2020

Multiple Votes  Advent Calendars  Finland's Dick Pics  Top 6: iPhone Cables  Producer Jared is the Best Man  Megan's Baby Diary!  Benee!  Judith Collins!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleeche, Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe by five McCafe coffees. Get one free on the Maccas app. And producer Jared is away tomorrow, but we've just been talking about this. There will be a podcast. Yes. Gary's doing it. Soundkeeper Gary. Uh-huh. And apparently Jared has written him a Bible. On how to do it. On how to do it. A podcast Bible. I'm producing it. Yeah. Because I know there were some issues last time so he's written jared has written a bible jared 316 um how incredible is that we're working with the new jesus jesus didn't write the bible he just was the main actor are you sure the main actor he was um writer director bruce willis to the guy that wrote Sixth Sense.

M. Night Shyamalan. Yes, he was, yeah. Wait a minute. Who's M. Night Shyamalan? Jared or Jesus? Do we put Jared on a cross? No, no. He's the writer of the Bible, so we- Who's the main character?

We saint him. Saint Jared. Right, okay. Patriot Saint of Podcasts. Okay, brilliant. Who's the Jesus in the Jared scenario then? Vaughn. Me.

So we put you on a cross Now question I'm Jesus because I have a beard Not because of my holiness Oh no I'm just thinking if one of us has to go on a cross You'd be Judas With your shenanigans I'd be Mary Magdalene

Is that a good one to be? I don't know Wouldn't you rather be She's just like Can I just be the caterer? No You're the mayor of Sodomite Is that a good one to be? I don't know. Wouldn't you rather be? She's just like. Can I just be the caterer? No. At that dinner? You're the mayor of Sodomite.

Hey, you just don't get to. That's one for the Christians. Mate, don't get too lippy. You're going up on a cross. Now, question. If it was 2020 when this was happening, this whole cross business. Yeah. The crucifixion.

Yeah. Might attend. Would you go cable ties over nails? No. That's what you're going to say. Would that even happen? No, because they had rope back in the day. It wasn't about hanging them up there.

It was also a bleeding out situation. Good God, savages. The Romans. Absolute savages. Yes, they were. Now, that was Russell Crowe, wasn't it? The Romans. He was a gladiator.

He was a gladiator. Was that around Jesus' time? time no because they were wheels I wait with the wheels when Jesus was around Jesus yes one of the time of wheels wheels they were in BC was before wheels chassis wheels go on to an axle which which is attached to a chassis. Right. Yeah. Okay. Before chariots.

Jesus was born as a baby, invented chariots, thus before chariots became after design. This is the problem. If I'd gone to Sunday school, I'd know this, wouldn't I? ZM. Head music. Lives here. Flesh, fauna, Megan. The podcast.

Big show today, guys. Couple of big guests. She's a biggie. Couple of days out from the election. Well, don't call her a biggie. She's the show. Oh. She's a biggie.

I was like, well, if she is, she's got no one to blame but herself. Yes. Judith Collins joins us at 8 o'clock today on the show. How are we approaching this? What do you mean? I don't know. What, as a mouthpiece of the left? How are you approaching this?

Just respectfully. I know. I plan to approach it respectfully, but there's some elephants in the room. Again, not anybody. I'll ask her. What will you ask her? About the obesity thing. Oh, yeah, okay.

All right. I'll ask her? About the obesity thing. Oh, yeah, okay. All right. I don't mind. I'll ask her respectfully. Because it sounds like something my mum would have said in the 90s. As she trudged off to Weight Watchers. It was a real mum comment, wasn't it? But I feel like lots of people have given her the opportunity to be like, I shouldn't have said that.

But she's just not backing down. So she joins us at 8 o'clock this morning. We're going to put your questions to Judith Collins, leader of the National Party. If you have one, go to our Instagram, FEMZM, and we will put those questions to her at 8 o'clock this morning. Joining us tomorrow, the Prime Minister, the leader of the Labour Party, Jacinda Ardern.

We're going to do exactly the same, your questions. We'll give you the chance to ask those sometime today on our Instagram. We've got David Seymour booked in for Friday at 10.05, but he's going to get here and we're going to be gone. Balance. That's what happens. Coming up before 7, the top six.

Can I just say also, because I said it's a big show today, Benny is on at 10 to 8 and she doesn't like Judith Collins, so we'll have to ship her out. There's two doors. There's two doors. We'll move her out exit left and bring Judith in on the right.

Entry exit right. Yep. That's a good plan. Or we could just put them both out there and see what happens. Yeah. Also tickets as well to Benny's show. One of Benny's shows this weekend. And the top six is coming up.

iPhone yesterday announced the new iPhone 12, and it comes without a charger. You know the little bit that plugs into the wall? It's got a USB on the side. Yep. That thing. Yeah, because they're saying it's for the environment, because everyone's got so many already.

But it's also a USB-C, right? Which is different. So no one's got one already. No, yeah. But you can get them, but where and why? You have to pay for them after you've already bought that expensive phone. So I've got the top six other things the new iPhone doesn't come with. All right, next on the show. I don't know.

Oh, yeah. You know how your mum would be like, if you and your brother worked together, you could achieve great things? Yeah. Well, she might have been right. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. You may have enjoyed a refreshing beverage of a part-time ranger variety.

Guilty. Yes. Guilty as charged. Those things get you, eh? Because they're 1.6% in a can. So you have a whole lot. There's no sugar or no additional sugar.

That's why people love them. So it doesn't taste super sweet. So it's not like you're not super aware that it's happening and then it happens. And then boom. You're under influence. Well, the brothers that have started it,

that started part-time rangers, have sold it to the makers of Jack Daniels, Brown Foreman. Ooh, yeah. That's a lot of money. Wow. They are going to be super rich. Yeah.

How much? That's only been disclosed at this stage. Oh, I need to know. 2018 they started it. It was when it officially launched. It hasn't been around and it just took off because they, obviously they give, is it 10 cents? 10%. 10%.

Yeah, 10% of profit to wildlife preservation projects. So that's why one's like rhino, one's elephant. There's a Kiwi one too. Is there? Oh, for the new whiskey one. Yeah. Right. Okay.

So that's got whiskey in it and that's a brown, in a brown can. That's for the candies. So are they still, these new owners, are they still going to do the wildlife? I think so. So I think a lot of people got a bit of a kick out of getting. Getting pissed and being like, oh, that's just over there saving the elephants. Argue with someone. Oh, you're thinking about crazy.

How many elephants have you saved? But yeah, a couple of crazy. How many elephants did you save? But yeah, a couple of brothers, Oliver and William. Probably go with Ollie and Bill. Yeah, Ollie and Bill.

Ollie and Will. They started it. That is nuts. Like how much, like they will be millionaires now. So the urban legend goes is they borrowed money

off their old man to start it. Oh really? And then used all that to brew up a batch, gave it all away, and then said to their old man, we can't pay you back. Yeah. If you want your money back,

you're going to need to loan us more money. Dad's like, off. And so he loans them more money, and they do it again. Yeah. And they're like, one more, I promise. Oh my god. Is this Urban Legend true? I need to know. I've heard it from somebody who's close to the source.

And it was on the third time that he's like, you better not bloody give this all away. And they didn't. They sold it and then right reinvested it. And then from there it just took off. Dad's getting his share now. I hope dad's getting a nice. You'd pay him exactly what he gave him. The last ever HSV.

Yeah. Because they stopped him making Holdens, right? Dads love Holdens. What a price for a dad is to own one. The last ever HSV. Yeah. I thought it was something making Holdens, right? What a prize for a dad is to own one of the last ever HSVs. Wow. And then, yeah. And now they will be worth like millions of dollars. That's so cool. Good on them.

And they'll probably do that thing where they don't just like get a couple of million dollars and then just like retire. They'll do that thing where they keep working. I don't know why people do that, eh? God, I don't understand that. Yeah. So weird. They won't be like,

that's enough. I've had enough work. Oh, people. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A guy's been referred to the police

after he voted. Except he voted multiple times. Already? Yeah. He early voted multiple times. The Electoral. He early voted multiple times. The Electoral Commission has referred a person to the police.

That's premature election, isn't it? Because your head's spinning around quick like I was going to say something inappropriate. Because I asked this the other day because you go there and they get the ruler and the pen and they manually cross your name off. Yeah, it's so funny because that's how it's been done forever and it's still just done that way.

Yeah, and I was like you could just hone to another place and like vote again and you're not going to. But they must at the end of the election go through and

because you must have a number attached to your name, right? You do, yeah. Yeah, right, okay. So then once that's crossed off if they see you've done that at another polling place then obviously that's a off, if they see you've done that at another polling place,

then obviously that's a double up and there's going to be questions. And they're not just going to discount it. It is an offence under the section 215 of the Electoral Act. So you can get in trouble. I've Googled the Electoral Commission has referred or did refer 126 voters to the police for voting twice in the general election

last time. Whoa, really? This story from 2014 in December. So people were doing it, although they reckon a lot of people were just they did let a lot of people off with warnings because people would advance vote, like early vote, and then vote on the day.

And they wondered if some of them were a bit dithery, maybe. Do they forget? So of the 63 dual voters in 2011, 32 were given warnings and 29 were cleared. Only two remained unresolved. So that was the election before. See, I'm a bit dithery because I got a registration online for my car. And then freaked out when I saw the date, but it meant I got a registration online for my car. Yep. And then freaked out when I saw the date,

but it meant like a date in a year's time. And I went to buy another one from the post shop. That's dithery. I took it in and she's like, oh, no, you're all registered. And I was like, oh, forgive me. I'm dithery. So I can see how older people might be like, now, was that 2017 I voted or Wednesday?

Yeah. But the reason this guy got people might be like, now, was that 2017 I voted or Wednesday? Yeah. But the reason this guy got caught, because like you say, it's probably not until it gets to when they're counting the votes that they'd figure it out. This guy, apparently, the Electoral Commission got a complaint

after they saw a series of social media posts. So obviously we were being like, voting again, voting again. Yeah, that's Ah okay You haven't got much of a defence there have you I don't But is

What was he making a point That we've got like You got to vote Like a corrupt system or something Is that his point Like why is he doing that I don't know I don't know if it was that intense

Weird He's probably just There have been some Some Well you were talking about the meme page that was saying, like, write your name on the ballot, which if you do, it discounts your ballot. Yeah, don't.

So do not. Don't do that. I saw a thing going around yesterday. One political party support meme page trying to look like the other political party being like, don't remember, don't forget, if you're super proud to be voting for this party, write your name on the ballot to show your support don't because it it validates it yeah yeah so don't do that you've got a number that identifies you you can draw a dick on it as far

as like a little i don't think you can do it does that well that might doesn't there isn't there a line on it that says if you soil your paper oh Oh, don't draw that on there. If you soil your paper. If you accidentally dump on this paper. Is that what that means? Fletchvorna Megan, the podcast. ZM. Well, I was in line at the supermarket yesterday and I spied right

next to the line. You know how they put all the chocolates? I spied right next to the line. That almost sounded like a like a game you could play? A version of I Spy. Yeah. Well, all the Christmas stuff's out. We've been talking about this with Christmas Penetration,

and it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Only, what, 70-something days away from Christmas. The advent calendars are out, and normally, you know, they're pretty rubbish. One or two or three dollars. The cheap ones, the chocolate's no good. Yeah. If you're doing it for chocolate, you've got to spend the money.

But if you're just doing it to have a bloody Paw Patrol one or a Barbie one or a Trolls one or whatever. Yeah, those are the cheap. Cheap chocolate. The chocolate's rubbish, but I mean, kids don't care. The kids, yeah, they don't care. Whereas when you're an adult, you want a quality chocolate. You've got a more refined taste. I mean, don't get me wrong, you still

gobble it up like this. And you've got no one else to blame but yourself. Exactly. But I think our wishes have been answered because Linda did. You know Linda did. They do those chocolate balls and delicious chocolate.

They have an advent calendar. Now I've just tried to search on the supermarket website, but it's not, like, updated. It's not in the system. Oh. But I think from memory it was, like, about $28, $29. Okay, that's just over a dollar a day. And that's how much you buy those linded balls for, isn't it?

A dollar. They're pretty expensive. You can't buy, that's 30 linden balls. 24. 24? I don't know how many slots there were. because you don't need

any extra chocolate on Angel Christmas Day. That's right, you start on the 1st of December. And you end on the 24th. So, 25 chocolate balls. Yeah,

I've found a listing for it, but no price there. But yeah, they, I'd say, you can buy an assorted lindered balls pouch for $6. And I think you get about six or seven in that.

Those are a dollar a choc. They're pretty expensive. But it's a premium chocolate ball. Yes, I know it's a premium chocolate ball. So I was pretty excited about that. That's an option. And it got me searching for advent calendars because some places do

I mean you could pretty make your own. For the first Christmas in forever. We usually finish here like maybe whatever, a week or two weeks or ten days before Christmas and you're just like, see ya and you're off on one of your chores. Mum asked me, are you going to be home for Christmas this year?

Of course, where else am I going? Well, I mean she knows you well not to put it beyond you to just stay in your own apartment be home for Christmas this year. And you were like, of course, where else am I going? Wow. I mean, she knows you well not to put it beyond you to just stay in your own apartment by yourself for Christmas, not go back home to New Plymouth and see them. Look, with my cat, that sounds like a great Christmas. But it got me searching about advent calendars because a lot of people make their own. We've talked about the gin advent calendar.

But check this one out, Megan. Mecca, the makeup people. What brand is that? out, Megan. Mecca. The makeup people. What brand is that? Oh, I don't know. I don't know. Anyway, this one here, $680. $685 for a Mecca advent calendar. And under each box, you get like different makeup.

Megan's like, yeah. Wow. But like, what if it's not my colour or something? I just give myself $685 to go on a wee shopping spree at Mecca. And then make sure I like it all. Yeah, I don't know. It just features 25 little surprises. Wow.

I mean, if someone wants to gift me that, then yes. There's those Lego ones. They look pretty cool. And you get a couple of bits a day and you end up building a little Christmassy situation. But I don't have the patience. I just open them all. Yeah, but that's the same with chocolate advent calendars. It gets to the weekend, I'm just like, I need chocolate.

And then that's the advent calendar out the window. And then I have to go buy another one, and I'm like, well, I've got to eat the first week. And then you're just getting a box of chocolates and just treating yourself whenever you want, and you've got no one to blame but yourself. It's a vicious, slippery cycle. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

In Finland, they are looking at making it a crime to send... Dirkbergs? Unsolicited DPs. Unsolicited DPs. Is it in law now? No, not yet. I remember a long time, a couple of years ago, we even asked the Prime Minister about this.

Texas passed a law to make it illegal. And I think that's when the Prime Minister told us she'd been sent one, unsolicited, once. And it made the news. Do you remember that? It went all over the world. I don't remember that. Did that actually happen? Yeah, but now she's with Clark, so it's all happening.

Yeah, it happened like a few years. I'll Google it. I'm sure she, yeah, this rings a bell. This rings a bell. So in Finland, they want to make it punishable by up to six months in prison. So I was doing, I mean, as easy as, I mean, it's not easy to do a quick peruse of the Harmful Digital Communications Act, but I've tried in New Zealand. August 29.

What year? 2019. Really? Wow, so a year ago. Jacinda Ardern reveals man seen her unsolicited photo of his genitals. And look, there's you, Megan, talking to the Prime Minister. I don't know why you don't remember that. Whoops.

Well, we talk to her a lot about lots of things. I know, I know. But yeah, so that was Texas doing that a year and a half ago. Or a year ago. Wow. So yeah, I was just trying to have a quick look through because we do have the Harmful Digital Communications Act, which we know covers revenge porn.

So if you are sending someone else's nudes and you don't have their permission, that's covered. But in terms of image-based abuse, which is what it would be under, you can't send non-consensual intimate images. But I don't know. Yeah, because it's yours. So you can send to your image.

But they're not consenting that you send it to them. Yeah. Actually, that would be interesting to know if anybody listening that works in law, because we know Jess, that lawyer, I don't know if she's listening now, or if there's any police listening, if there's anything that

you could be done for, just sending an unsolicited D-Pack in New Zealand. Because the part that I've found is sharing or threatening to share nude or nearly nude images of someone else without their consent

is punishable. Yeah, but then if it's yours, you're consenting, but they don't want it. Yeah. They're not consenting to receive. But there's nothing about that in what Megan just read, is there?

No. Receiving. But it could be an image-based abuse. I saw one recently. Someone I know was sent one, completely unsolicited. Really? And you looked at it? Yeah, I had a good look at it.

Oh, is that allowed? They sent it. The person who sent it didn't consent to you seeing it. But they sent it unconsensually anyway, so you can't control the audience. What would you do about this? you can't control the audience. Yeah, what do you do about this? You can't control the audience. I felt that there wasn't enough time nor effort put into the presentation. The pubic maintenance.

Oh, that wasn't so bad, but there was just a couple of weird shadows and stuff that made it look like it had a lesion. I don't know, am I doing the flash or something? But I said, I've not sent one. Yep. Ever? No. I remember you accidentally uploaded your balls to Snapchat.

But that was a blurry picture of my balls. It wasn't. Was that, did we ever clarify who that was intended for? Oh, it was, well, I was going to send it to Sade, but it was like a joke. And then I was going to be like, is this how you do it? And it was going to be like a blurry. Yeah do it and it was going to be like a blurry yeah right

but then it went on a Snapchat story instead but it was gone in like 40 seconds and no one saw it at that stage but I know I've never ever ever sent one

you know what the honest truth is I've never even taken a photo of it aww well don't feel sorry for me it's by choice I don't want to take a photo

I feel like I know you were just like every time you try you're like no it's not good enough I'm going to take it lower and don't want to take a photo of it. I know you were just like, every time you try, you're like, no, it's not good enough. I'm going to take it lower and then you need to take it lower in looking up. No, I'm not going to take it. Do you need some help? Do we need a sort of photo shoot where we can help you out? No, because my phone is

synced to the cloud and the cloud is synced to my iPad and there's regularly children, my children are regularly using the iPad. Fair call, fair call. Oh God. I just don't want to take one. So what's Finland, what are they proposing? Is that where you said Finland? Yes.

Bringing this in, what would you get if you sent one? Unsolicited sexual images, that would be a crime and you're up to six months in prison. Imagine six months in prison for sending a DP. Everyone knows the best revenge is just forwarding it to their mum. I mean like what sort of child did you raise to be sending these sorts of things to women? I think that's a digital harmful communication, though.

Is? Wow. That would be. Because you're forwarding off someone else's images without their consent. Ah, but then they sent it to you without your expressed consent. And it's their mum.

They've seen it before. Not like that, they haven't. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. haven't. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. From the hard-to-find ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six.

Hello there. Today's Top Six is the Top Six other things the new iPhone comes without. It doesn't come with a bit that plugs into the wall that you put your USB... cord. The pluggy bit. Yeah, the pluggy bit. There into the wall that you put your USB cord. The pluggy bit. Yeah, the pluggy bit.

There's got to be a better name for that. The wall-charging pluggy bit. They came out and said, oh, it's for the environment, guys. You guys have already got one. And they're not wrong. Yeah, I've got so many. We do have quite a few. I've even got some dating back to when they were, like, real big and the end slipped off.

Yes. The problem is the cable they're shipping the new iPhone with is a USB-C to lightning. You've got a USB to lightning currently. So all those things we've got are now redundant unless we use our old cables. They want you to buy new stuff. But those old cables don't last forever. They bloggle at the end.

Exactly, Megan. But don't come out and say, it's for the environment. Yeah. Just say, we want you to buy a new cable. And at that price point

of the phone, you're taking things away. They were like, look, we had a choice. Do we stop pumping toxic sludge into Chinese waterways or do we stop giving you wall chargers?

It was an easy choice. No wall chargers. Yeah. So the top six other things that your new iPhone comes without. Number six, a battery. You've got some of those in the kitchen drawer, I see. Chuck a couple in.

Put them in. Like, what do you want from us? I've got to imagine if smartphones every day had, like, AA batteries. Am I crazy to think there was a phone that ran on AA batteries? Yeah, you are. Way back in the day. Never happened. The Motorola brick?

Those big ones that your dad had in the car? Nah, those had a fat battery. So I had one of those. Not that long ago. I found one and I bought it for like 25 bucks. I've probably still got it in a box somewhere. But it was legendary. And it was still connected to the 025 network at that time.

Wow. The spare one mobile battery runs on a single AA battery. Nah, it was legendary and it was still connected to the 025 network at that time. Wow. The spare one mobile battery runs on a single AA battery. Nah, it was a real old one. I don't think that looks like a new sort of emergency one. Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six other things the new iPhone comes without. A screen. You've got some glass

and windows. Make your own, duh Come on, like, do we have to do everything for you? Number four on the list of the top six other things that your iPhone comes without Buttons on the side Hey, just shut up, make your own You've got enough buttons Take a button off your shirt

Cut a bit off the side and then it's rounded and glue it on Sheesh, do we have to think of everything at Apple? Number three on the list of the top six other things the iPhone comes without. A box. It just turns up rattling around in a bag. Brilliant. For the environment. Yeah.

Because it's a compostable bag. Yeah, good. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six other things the new iPhone comes without. Screws. It's a bit of a find a screw and put it together yourself situation. Number two on the list of the top six other things the new iPhone comes without, screws. It's a bit of a find a screw and put it together yourself situation. Got a lot of those, yeah, lying around home. Just use some of those, yeah. From like when you had a bit of furniture and you had a couple left over, for sure.

And number one on the list of the top six things the new iPhone comes without, a camera. Don't you already have one of those? Sheesh, how many do you need? You're starting to sound a little bit greedy. That's today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. All right, tomorrow, producer Jared is part of a wedding. He's best man?

I sure am. The best man. Oh, the best man. Can't get better. Yep. So you must, as tradition bestows, you must deliver the best man's speech. Apparently, yep. And you have not yet done that. Well, I had a brief skeleton plan of what I wanted it to look like.

Uh-huh. And then when I tried to write it last night, I was like, ooh, this is a bit harder than I thought it would be. You know the tent poles you have to hit, right? Yep. You know what you have to do. You have to tell the bridesmaids. Thank them and say they look great. Do I?

Wow, the look on producer Gerard's face. You want to tell the bridesmaids they look great, but you can't do it like... In a creepy way. G'day. Don't those three over there look a bit of a rot, eh? And never single out one of them. You three honeys, especially you on the left.

You all look ravishing. All right, well, I've single out one of them. You three honeys, especially you on the left, you all look ravishing. All right, well, I've added that to my list of things I need to add. You know that you could, like, you Google the template, right? Yeah, but the templates are terrible. Yeah, you can always tell when you're at a wedding or an event and someone's Googled a little joke to crowbar in there, especially a wedding or, you know, 21st. Yeah. I've crowbarred a few JP originals in.

Oh yeah, that's your name? I'm JP. Yeah, JP. A few original gags. I was like, what's a JP original? I thought it was like a brand of something. Justice of the Peace original. I'll witness the signing of your official documents. I'm a JP. Okay, so what have you got in there so far? I don't want to get into too much detail

because he listens occasionally. Oh, okay. Occasionally? Occasionally. Son of a bitch. Rude. So not his first choice? Okay, but sure.

In the start, in the opener, I'm like, the wife, you look lovely. Sam, eh. Who's Sam? Sam's the typical girl. Oh, yeah. She looks lovely. He looks. That's the desired result.

That's the gag there. Good. Okay. Yeah. Then you should always, like, if you the desired result. That's the gag there. Good. Okay. Yeah. Then you should always, like, if you're going to burn them at their wedding, you always follow it up with something a little bit heartfelt. Yeah. Like, Sam, meh.

But that's the kind of guy he is. He wants his wife to shine on. Isn't that just doubling down on the insult, though? It's a little underhanded. Sure. Okay. But it's not a Comedy Central roast. Like, Sometimes you see

best man speeches and you're like, what are you doing? This is someone's special day and you're just roasting them like it's... And also, I don't think it's your place to roast the bride. Never roast the bride. Never roast the bride. I wouldn't roast the bride. Let the bridesmaids roast the bride if there's going to be a roasting.

Even then, they shouldn't be... Too rough. So, I shouldn't be... Too rough. Yeah. So I shouldn't roast him too hard because that'll delete like four paragraphs. Yeah, dude, I wouldn't roast him. Like, what, is Aris family there? Yep. So like, Nana, Grandma?

It depends on the level of roasting. Like, you roast someone at their 21st, right? That's an acceptable place to roast. You can do a minimal, you can do a little bit of roasting in a wedding. A little bit. A mild roast is what you're saying. But not like a, oh, I remember that time I caught you in bed with that chick, you know, that's not your wife now.

And, you know, that kind of roasting, you're just like, this is awkward. Yeah, that's definitely not in there. Okay. I've kept it pretty, like, I like to alternate between a burn and then a really heartfelt thing. Can you give us an example? He doesn't want to give it away.

I know you don't want to give it away but he won't be listening. Basically I said he's a good guy but he'll always laugh at you when you injure yourself which as we all know I do frequently. But then I say it's cool to see how much he's grown. That's nice yeah it's uh i'm trying to be very vague i'm gonna be honest this does need some work yeah um

but yeah you've started but when you've got to have it done by tomorrow the wedding's tomorrow i'd prefer to have it done by the end of my shift here today because i don't have a printer at home i like that you're double jobbing here. That's great. Fantastic. Okay, we thought we would help you out this morning, Producer Jared. By taking some calls of what not to say in a best

man's speech. And we want to open up the phone lines and ask you, listening now, on 0800 DARS at M, what horrible best man's speeches and wedding speeches have you heard? So Jared knows not to do. What not to do. So these are things I shouldn't.

These are things. To be avoided. So maybe somebody, like there was a best man speech and there was a roast and it went too far. Yeah. Or there was a story and it just went. It was not appropriate. Yeah, into too much detail.

Maybe there were, you know, Nan was at the wedding, the parents were shocked. Maybe it ended in a bit of wedding night drama. Yeah. Yeah, that's something you don't want. Yeah. Unnecessary drama on that day. No. Well, the couple doesn't, but I mean, the rest of us are always down for a bit of drama.

Well, yeah, it's great if you're in the back, Rosie, you get put in the back, you know, and you've just got your bottle of wine. You're watching it all unfold. Those are the best weddings. Yeah. We're talking about what is to be avoided in a best man speech. Yeah. Or any sort of wedding speech.

Producer Jared's got to deliver one at his mate's wedding tomorrow, working on it. And we thought we'd help him out by saying what not to do by using your examples. Oh, there's some great stories coming through. I love a wedding drama. Again, because you've never been involved in a wedding. I know, and I love the food at a wedding, and that's about it, and the drama. And the dramas. Yeah, and the drinks.

And the canapes. Yep. The canapes, the drinks, the food. Nah, see, I could go without the drama. As long as John Farnham's The Voice gets played at some stage on the D floor, I mean, that's all you need for a wedding. It really is. Yeah, it is. That's what you need. Some text

messages, and we've got some calls as well. Okay, we'll go to Anonymous. Anonymous, what happened in the best man speech? The best man at my wedding told me that, told everyone that my husband could do better, but he was at the age where settling was accepted.

Oh! What was said? A lot of jaws hit the floor, and we were only 25, so, yeah. Not really. See, that's the thing. You don't sound, like, really old. That's interesting to take into account that 25 was...

Was he joking, do you think, or...? Yeah, he was joking, but it was just a really shit joke. Yeah, really, really bad joke. Okay, so we'll add that one to the list of producers. You showed him, though, eh? Still married? Oh, no. Oh! He showed you, then?

Yeah. Hey, Anonymousonymous Thanks for your call Some other text messages On things to be avoided Don't say congratulations To the groom And the ex-girlfriend's name Rather than the bride's name

Whether you're joking or not That's not funny Imagine that I went to a wedding A couple of years ago where the couple always said it was love at first sight. The best man got up and said the groom had two girls on the go at the same time when they first met

and the bride was his second option. Don't say that. That was a joke, surely. Best man got up and said they all preferred the Brazilian backpacker that he'd convinced to stay on an extra three years, but I guess this was his choice and the most disappointed tone. His parents were nodding when he said that they preferred the ex. Awkward silence for a few moments.

Finishes with, well, I guess we just have to do this now. The groom was ropeable. You would be, though. You can't sell you on those. You just can't do that. No. How do you stop yourself from throwing a tanty at that, too? I would absolutely throw a tanty.

And you can't take that back. That moment's been ruined. That wedding's ruined. Let the drama at your wedding be between two guests who drink too much and decide to have an argument about their family or something. You can eject them. Exactly. Let them be the drama, not you be the drama.

Somebody asked me, we were at a very conservative wedding. The bride was so sweet, very proper parents and family at the point that their side of the family didn't drink alcohol at the wedding. Oh, yes. This is good. The best man got up with a few in him and roasted the groom.

Talking about that time they took a stolen vehicle. They'd been driving drunk and crashed it into a digger and then took off before the cops arrived. The room was absolutely silent. You could have heard a pin drop. Yes. And he would have spent so much time building up a persona to the family

about how he's a good boy. Yep. And apparently this was the first the bride had ever heard of it as well. She had never heard the story. This was all brand new information to her. So, Producer Jared, some good tips there for your best man wedding speech. Yeah, I'm actually feeling pretty good about what I've written now. Yeah.

After hearing all of those. It's pretty tame. Yeah. Pretty tame. All right, best of luck, mate. Yeah, I'm actually feeling pretty good about what I've written now. Yeah. After hearing all of those. It's pretty tame. Yeah. Pretty tame. All right, best of luck, mate. Thanks, guys. Tomorrow. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan.

The podcast. ZM. This study has revealed that same-sex couples are better than straight couples at having high-quality interactions. Threesomes. I mean, that's not what the study says. Okay.

But I'm not disputing. They have better sharing clothes. Yes. Would that not be a great advantage of being in the same sex relationship with someone who is the same size? Different styles though. No, but if you were same shoes, same size everything,

it'd be an absolute free for all in the morning for clothes. For example, my boots, if I've got these boots in the black version if I was like I wanted to wear the black version today and Steve's like no Vaughn you wore black yesterday

for a start I wouldn't date a Steve so let's just you would totally who would you date? a Sebastian you'd date a Sebastian Vaughn and Sebastian who he is but he's very exotic

Eduardo Eduardo You'd date a Sebastian. Oh, no. Born in Sebastian. He is, but he's very exotic. Eduardo. Of course. Eduardo. I wanted to wear the black boots today. No. No, I'm already guessing that Eduardo has better fashion sense than you. He would.

So you'd be like, oh, that's put out there for me. You don't know South Americans love jeans with lots of pockets. So you don't know. Yeah. How presumptuous assume he's South American. He's actually Portuguese from Portugal. So he can speak to South Americans. Yeah, right. Okay.

But only Brazilians. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was trying to remember if it was Brazilians or... It's Portuguese, yeah. Yeah, the rest of the sex Spanish. Well, no. Same-sex couples do a better job of having high-quality interactions with one another. He's kind of a Ricky Martin type, if I could really go a little further down the trail of Eduardo.

I love that we're getting into what your boyfriend would look like. Like Ricky Martin in, like mature Ricky Martin. Not Shaky Bon Bon, Live Live Live. What was the show that we watched? The Assassination of Gianni Passaccio. Yes. That would be your ideal boyfriend. That's my...

Now... Ricky Martin, now. Me, Bourne, right today, that's my Eduardo. Okay, right. I don't know you had a crunch on Ricky. I don't, but I'm just saying that's probably... I think he's got better with age now that he knows who he is and stuff. Yeah, right.

He was a little bit confused in the Living La Vida Loca days, wasn't he? We're getting sidetracked with your boyfriend. See, I could have imagined you more with an Enrique Iglesias. Yeah, I would have thought Enrique too, to be honest. I don't trust him. Oh, because he's too hot.

Yeah. Out there parading himself. And his old man slept with someone like, didn't his dad sleep with someone like 5,000 women? That apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Is he still with Anna Kournikova? Yeah. Have you spoken to Anna Kournikova? Yeah.

Have you spoken to your wife about your ideal boyfriend? It's all figured. And I think Ricky Martin now, like Enrique and I would not fit the same clothes. No, absolutely not. Whereas Ricky and I probably would. Socks though. Socks and undies probably. Undies? No, that'd be very tight.

Would you wear your boyfriend's undies? We're kidding. Don't know. Actually, that's a great call. That's a good call because I wouldn't. You'd join undies, probably. Undies? No, that'd be very tight. Would you wear your boyfriend's undies? We're kidding. Don't know. Actually, that's a great call. That's a good call because I wouldn't. Don't know. Join undies, wouldn't you? No.

Why? Because you don't want your junk sitting where there's junk. But your junk's always touching each other's junk. I know, but undies are personal. They're a personal thing. They're your undies. I think if you could agree to one brand of undies, I'd share them.

It's going through the wash, right? And then what if Enrique Iglesias was on tour and he took all the undies? Oh my God, I'd hit the roof. But that's not a problem because I'm not dating Enrique Iglesias. You're dating Ricky Martin. I'm not dating Ricky Martin.

I'm dating Eduardo, but he's based on a modern day Ricky Martin. So why is he on tour? Is he a singer too? No, he's not on tour, but he might be going away with work. He's highly on a modern day Ricky Martin. So why is he on tour? Is he a singer too? No, he's not on tour. But he might be going away with work. He's highly motivated. He's a professional.

Oh my God. I don't even want to tell you this story now. It's just not as good as your boyfriend. You want to know what kind of professional? Yeah, what kind of? Liquidator. He's an accountant, but he specializes in like. He's a financial accountant.

Yeah, yeah. Like Ben Affleck in that movie, The Accountant. Yeah. Like a sexy accountant. But a sexy accountant. Yeah, well... A sexy South American or Portuguese accountant. He's kind of like George Clooney in that movie, Up in the Air.

Is it Up in the Air? In the Air. And he goes around and fires people. Yeah, but it's because of his like approachable... But he must have been grounded because of COVID. There's no international travel. Oh, no, he's not going international, but he has been going around New Zealand extensively.

And he does a lot of Zooms. Oh, my God, he's always on Zoom. It's hard to get some us time. And because it's such a busy time for liquidators, he's worked, God, he works hard, though. You're really rating yourself that you can land a man like this. Wait, you said his wife? It's highly possible.

You cannot underestimate my ability to score hot people regardless of gender and sexual orientation. Okay. Do you actually want me to tell you this? Yeah, what were you going to tell us? Well, that same-sex couples generally do a good job of maintaining positive vibes, open lines of communication, appreciation

than straight couples do. Yeah, well that's why you and Eduardo have been together so long. Oh my god, forever. Oh my god. But is it because Eduardo and I do this thing where we'll go and get an ice cream when he's not on a bloody Zoom call, closing down some business

that over-capitalised. Classic, though. And we'll agree on who's hot and who we'd sleep with. Do sex couples do that? Can they do it without getting in trouble? Yeah. I think it's going to be an interesting discussion point. I think if they're straight, probably,

because then there's no way that they could actually sit with him. Right, right, right, right, right. Well, never say never. Flesh, fawn and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Megan's baby diary. I'm finding myself checking myself

to make sure I'm not too sensitive about things. So just before I get to the standoff between Andrew and I yesterday, can I put something to you and say if I'm being too sensitive? Oh, please. So I've got a bump, right? And I saw someone yesterday, this is risky business, straight

up said to me, is there a baby in there? Oh, no. And I was like, yeah. I mean, you rolled the dice with that one, but yeah. Is this a boomer? Yeah, would be. I feel like older people don't hold back on those kind of comments. Yeah.

Whereas anyone younger knows you don't say that to anyone. Even if you think. Yeah, that's not the ish. So we carried on chatting and she said, so when are you due? And I told her. And she said, oh, okay.

So you got a while to go yet? I was like, yeah, I mean, yeah, we're wild. And that's when she said, oh, well, you're going to be massive then, aren't you? Wow. I was like, okay. Wow. Don't say that to a pregnant woman. Did you just laugh that off?

Yeah, because what are you supposed to say? I don't want to sass her. Because generally she was just trying to have nice banter. Right. Good lord, is that too sensitive? How did you react? I just went, ha, yeah, yeah. Oh, no, you're fine.

That was, yeah. I bet that's just boomers though, eh? Yeah, I would have said that. Wow, people're fine. That was... Yeah. I mean, I'm as though, eh? Well, people told it how it was back in the day. There wasn't any bloody kushting it. You are going to be huge. Yeah, yeah. Okay.

So another, I guess, maybe being a bit too sensitive. So we're, like, designing the nursery. What do you call it? I feel like that's really American. The kids' room? Yeah, the baby's room. Nursery're like designing the nursery. What do you call it? I feel like that's really American. The kids room? Yeah, the baby's room. Nursery. Nursery.

Yeah. And so up until this point, Andrew's been like taking over. Okay. And like he's come up with all the ideas and he's like, okay, let's get this. Let's get this. And we've bought things. And I'm like, okay, he's's excited i'll let him do it but it's getting to the point where i was like okay i want to like i want some input into this oh sweet child so this is vaughn smith every time

my wife's like i've got some ideas for a renovation and i'd love your opinion now she doesn't love my opinion she doesn't want want my opinion. No. But she wants to be able to say, well, I did ask. Later down the piece, she didn't really ask. Yeah, right. She told me in the form of a question, like a game of Jeopardy. That's kind of what's happening here. Right. So he found, this sounds odd, but he found like this rope thing and it's got like little fairy lights in it.

And he's like, I really want this. I was like, well, I don't really. Okay. Yep. It kind of gets to a point where I'm like well I don't really okay yep it kind of gets to a point where I'm like it's fine

let's just get it so I was already feeling a bit miffed about this rope thing with the lights in it yeah you can laugh is it a fire

is it tacky it sounds tacky I'm not gonna is it tacky it sounds tacky it's not tacky it sounds like something you'd see

at like a you know it might have it's place at that treetops walk you can do in Rotorua. Where it's like the fairy part for kids when they go when the sun's gone down. Anyway.

Yeah, okay. And then we went home. Mr. Fairy Lights. Yeah. And I hear him rummaging in the garage and I was like, what is happening? He comes out with this wooden box that he's found. Yeah. And it's like, it's been made to look kind of white and all scratched.

And he's like, let's put this in the baby's room as well. We can like fill it with toys or something. And at this point I'm just like, okay mate, like no. I was like, how about we hold off? I'm not totally sold on the box. Let's hold off and maybe we'll figure it out down the line.

Make sure we've got enough room. He absolutely shits the bed and says, you're so negative. I just don't even want to talk to you anymore. Is he pregnant too? And so he storms off and then I pack an absolute tantrum. He's like,

well, I'm not talking to you. So there's just this big standoff of who's going to break the silence over a box that we found in the garage. Who broke? Who cracked? He cracked. Oh, did he? How long did it take him?

I'm absolutely not breaking the silence. He wasn't the one to talk to me. I've trained you well, young but one. He came back and said, okay, I think I'm just excited. Look, we're all a bit excited. Can we agree that we're both excited and we just both want input into this? I was like, yeah, fine. Did you get rid of the tacky fairy rope light?

No, that's still there, but the box has been put in the garage. So we'll see. Just move the lights out when he's distracted by something else. So they started smoking. Yeah. Fire hazard. Yeah. Fire hazard for baby. Can't argue with that.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Megan Poppy, you're going to see Benny live this weekend. Congratulations. Well done. And if you can't make it to the shows. Benny is actually teaming up with Live Nation and Republic Records to do an exclusive live stream of the Saturday show. You can go to BennyMusic.com. And she's right here with us.

Benny, good morning. Good morning. Hi. I've got to get this out of the way. I've been talking. Don't go on about it. How did you like it when Dr. Ashley Bloomford called you Benet? I thought it was actually quite sweet.

Yeah, me too. I do love him. It came from a good place, didn't it? It did. It totally did. He had a little smirk on his face. How has it... Because you've got two shows left in Auckland,

but how has it felt going around the country doing these, like, large gatherings? Large gatherings. It's been good. I mean, I've been loving it. It's kind of sad that I only have two left, but I've loved it. It's been super fun. I only have two left, but I've loved it. It's been super fun. But now

you can focus on the launch of your album. I know. Hey You X. Yes. Hey You. Kiss. Oh, I see. How's it kiss? Hey You. Well, like X. Well, it is an X. I thought it was a mathematical X. You know how X is yet to be determined.

Yes. Like it could be an album dedicated to a future loved or a current yet unnamed loved. That would be like, hey, you, dot, dot, dot. Oh, yeah. No, because that would indicate an ellipse and that there's more to come, not a specific subject. So when did this all happen? The album?

Yeah. I mean, I've been working on it for ages. I mean, I've been talking about wanting to make an album forever. And it kind of like happened this year when I was like, all right, it's time to release an album. And I thought it would come out a lot earlier. And then it got pushed back a lot. But I'm glad that it did because the album has so many new songs on it

that I made one in lockdown, made some after lockdown. So Lily Allen's on the album. Yeah. Did you smuggle her into the country? No. What? No, unfortunately not. But no, most of the features were just like sent over to me.

Yeah. So do you, there's Grimes as well. Do you like get to chat to them and like you still get to meet them and everything? Yeah. And collab? Yeah. Like, I mean, with Grimes it was just Instagram DMs. Really?

That was it. There was no Zoom. I mean hopefully when we are in the same place we'll be able to meet each other but Lily, we did like a call but I mean it's cool that we can still do it, like still collaborate. No, I think it just blows our mind when

we don't know about making music that you can, you know, do a song together just like with DMs. Yeah, yeah. Here's my email address, send it through or Dropbox or... Yeah, I mean, management talks to each other and then she messaged me and I was like, oh my gosh, I'm a mess. Like, cool. Also, I get so stressed out Like replying to people On messages

And I don't really Check my DMs very often But It was stressful Have you had other DMs From other people That want to do Like stuff

Yeah Who Like super Like who Like internationals Nickelback I'm not going to be able To think of any names

Right now Who's the dream Who's the dream If you went into Because you know You're in your DMs And then you see Nickelback? No. I'm not going to be able to think of any names right now. Who's the dream? Who's the dream if you went into, because you know you're in your DMs and then you see you've got six message requests. Yeah. People you've never previously talked to or follow and you're like, oh, I'm there.

And who would be waiting? What would be the dream? James Blake. James Blake. Or maybe Travis Scott. Okay. Yeah. Very different.

Yeah. Mind you, they've made a song together. So, very different, but it Scott. Okay. Yeah. Very different. Yeah. Mind you, they've made a song together. So, very different, but it works. Okay. Wow. And what about, like, not collaboration-wise? Do you get, like, have you had famous people slide in and be like, oh, my God, I actually love you.

Sometimes. I feel like I can't. I don't want to do it. I feel like an egg. Maybe one day I'll reveal all my secrets. Okay. I feel like an egg. I feel you.

I've watched people talk in interviews about who they have numbers of, and I'm like... I know, yeah, yeah. As a New Zealander, you'd be like, yeah, all right, mate, big deal. I would just feel like such a just a big shut up Stella right shut up

but it's good because we've done that thing where we've asked so it's not like you've come in and decided to announce no

I'll tell you one day okay well I'll write that down maybe okay right so we can't question you and you started a record label

I did congratulations thank you very much. Stop achieving so much. Okay. Some of us absolutely wasted our 20s and don't need to be reminded. No. So what does that involve?

How do you do that? Paperwork? Did you have to sit down and do boring paperwork stuff? No. I've just been having a ball. But I'm working with my friend Triest and also Poppy. And Poppy manages me and Triest used to work at Universal.

But it's a lady led team and it's just a good vibe and we've got, we just signed this guy called Meraki who is currently supporting me on tour and he's just like the coolest guy and it's just a good team. Just good vibes. Like you're so

like newish in your career but you're already like helping out everyone else yeah it's fun I mean it's

honestly it's kind of like a hobby because I've always loved the idea of like doing A&R work which is like finding new artists

and stuff and like supporting them so I feel like you know it's good for me good for them good for everyone look at you go and your last two shows I saw was it I feel like, you know, it's good for me, good for them, good for everyone. Look at you go.

And your last two shows, I saw, was it, I don't know which show, but I saw someone on TikTok, you had a go at Judith Collins. Yes, I did. You know, hang around, she's a next. She's a next. Sorry. When did she lose you? Because I saw that it was where she said,

oh, Trump was a good president or whatever. I saw you. That was my final. That was your breaking point? That was it. I shouldn't have called her the B word, I admit. Yeah. But I just don't agree with some of the stuff that she. Yeah. That she.

Yeah. All right. Well, looking forward to your final shows. Yes. Yes, I am very excited. We're going Saturday. We'll see you Saturday. Okay, that's going to be the big wave.

Big wave. Yeah. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. We're joined in studio by Judith Collins, leader be the big wave. Big wave. Yeah. Fletch Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. We're joined in studio by Judith Collins, leader of the National Party, and you'd be hoping come Sunday morning, Prime Minister of New Zealand. Well, that would be great.

Thanks very much. Two ticks blue. How do we feel about David Seymour as Deputy Prime Minister? Because that's a scary proposition. Well, he doesn't want to be, so that's fine too. Yeah, no, he doesn't want to be Deputy Prime Minister. He wants to stay being, you know, the resistance against the... So whatever it is.

Can I do that thing that journalists do then and be like, so if National gets in, that's off the table. No. Yeah, whatever. Do you know, I'm so pleased you're not in the press gallery. Such a nicer person being here. Dealing with normal human beings, just getting about their lives, having fun. Yeah, that's what we've got to do.

We were just saying, like, it's pretty ruthless. Why do you do this? Because why would anyone be a politician? I just cry every night. I guess because I don't cry every night, Fletcher. I actually find it fun. I mean, I quite like doing comedy, so I do

throw the odd comedic line in and then it gets picked up and it's like a headline and it's editorial. I just think some people need to just like chill a bit, you know? Life's so short to get so serious about things. Do you cry though? Like, I mean, you're a human, right?? Yeah. Life's so short. Get so serious about things. Do you cry though? Like, I mean, you're a human, right?

At funerals. Yeah. Yeah, at funerals. What about during like sad movies? Sad movies. What movies ever made you cry? Have you seen The Notebook? No.

Yeah, went on a bit. No, well, I don't, yeah, occasionally, I can't even think of one because I haven't watched any movies for so long. I spent three months essentially on the road or stuck in Wellington in lockdown, you know, running a campaign from the middle of Wellington. That's what, when,

because I was thinking you must have been on a plane a bit, but it's always weird being on a plane because we don't really have to, but seeing people do work on planes I'm always like, man, you guys could be watching some TV. Well, you could be, and occasionally I have to read some stuff, but everyone behind you can see what you're doing and things, so you've got to be careful what you do. Yeah, I've always been reading someone's

top secret documents on the plane on Thursday. I know, you've got to be really careful. When we were ministers, you know, when we were in government, people, you know, we were told, you'd be careful what you read because people could, and you can really.

So I often just read a novel. I like thrillers. Yeah, right. So that's what I tend to read. And yeah, that's what I do. Right, okay. Well, we've got some questions we asked on Instagram

of people who are going to be voting or just listeners and followers of the show if they had any questions. Someone asks, do you consider yourself a feminist? Yes, absolutely. Fantastic. Do you use the red and blue toothpaste or just the blue part? Well, actually, the toothpaste Scott is actually blue only. So, yeah, it must be blue is good.

You spit out the red there, yeah. Yeah, you know what, red teeth, do you? But blue teeth are fine. Do you use the same toothpaste that you've always used forever? No. What do you change? Get the cheapest. Yeah, whatever's there on special.

I've got to do the same toothpaste every time. Oh, you've got to live more dangerously. I can't do it. You've just got to go for it. Just go there, take the chance, take the risk, have fun, you know? Yeah. Long time dead, have fun.

Change it up. I'll change it up. Somebody else asked, do you regret having the nickname Crusher? Well, I didn't ask for it, did I? So, you know, there we go. Yeah, after all the years of having this nickname, which I don't use myself,

when a granddaughter of one of my friends called me Aunty Kwatha, and she's about two years old, I thought, yeah, actually, it's growing on me now, but it should be said without the R. It should be a Kwatha. Kwatha Collins. How many cars did you actually crush? I didn't.

I didn't do anything. But the one who came after me got to do, the minister came after me and told me. But I always said, you know, if it really worked well, you wouldn't do it. You know, you wouldn't actually end up with crushing them because of the three stripes part of it, which basically you get lots of these warnings.

And then they go, look at me. And they go, yeah, she means it. It's like counting to three as a parent. That's it. One, yeah, she means it. It's like counting to three as a parent. That's it. You've got to convince them. One, two, and three. Someone else asked your thoughts on veganism. Yeah, as long as it's not compulsory,

they can do whatever they like. Right, that's fair call. Do you think it's fair to put the economy before the environment? I think they go together, actually, and I think a smart economy actually likes people who are earning plenty of money, enough money to be able to pay their bills

and to save a bit, often have time and money to help in the environment. So I think you can do both. I don't think it has to be one or the other. What's your coffee order? Flat white. Flat white? Yeah, bones really strong, right?

Really strong bones. Maxing up, ever go a moccaccino at all? Do you know, it's so exotic, isn't it? I have, but then I think, well, you know. Hey, you're a long time dead. That's right. Hey, I should mix it up, shouldn't I? I should mix it up.

You know, how about that? How about on Monday I have a moccaccino? Yeah, regardless. I mix it up. I just go for the hard stuff. Yeah, that's it. All right, let's do that. Somebody else said, what are the latest plans with opening the

borders of New Zealand? Yeah, well, probably won't be happening today, but we will be able to once we have you know, we have to be very careful what we do. So obviously, you know, I'm not going to bring COVID-19 into the country and say, gee, how did that get here? Must have been living in the garden. So

it'll have to be Border Protection Agency but also some bubbles with places like New South Wales and Northern Territory, Pacific Islands. As long as it's all safe, not going to bring it in. Red wine or white wine? Well, normally it's a red, actually, with me. It's about the only red thing I really like, and particularly a Syrah. Yeah, I do Hawke's Bay, Syrah, Gimlet Gravels in particular.

And that's just the part of the region. So yeah, Pinot Noir, yeah. Nice. From Setro Tago or Martinborough. Yeah. But if I'm having a white, I quite like probably not so much a Chardonnay these days, but a Pinot Gris. Something a bit sweeter.

Yeah, actually. It's just taste change as you get as young as me. Someone wants to know what's your morning routine? Race to radio stations. Get a

coffee somewhere and race to radio stations. That's what I do. So basically the routine at the moment is weird. Normal routine, I'd be up in the morning, maybe go for a walk, you know, get some breakfast,

get off to work. But now, it's just race to radio stations, grab a coffee somewhere and keep going all day. We were just talking before, you're not, you don't hit the snooze.

You're out of bed the minute your alarm goes. No, I'm out of bed, I'm out of bed, in the shower, moving. Yeah. Get it started.

Yeah, just do it. And our final question from listeners submitted questions, what are your plans for the mental health sector? Oh, thank you for that. Mental health minister for a start. We've got someone for that role who's worked in mental health for years and also put a big effort around young people,

particularly in schools and in terms of mental health too, understanding that we need to really prioritise it as a major part of the health portfolio. So I think you know about 650 people. Suicide last year, suicide last year. And you think about the effort put into the road toll, which is half that. And then you think about the 20 odd thousand where there's attempted suicides. So first start with all the police getting

into those police custody suites mental health nurses working there as we did before and unfortunately the current government let that drop. So getting them at the front line is really important. But the other thing too is being really careful about letting people know it's okay to fail sometimes.

You don't have to be brilliant all the days, every single day. It's okay to fail. The main thing is to keep trying. Awesome. All right. We're live streaming on our Facebook page, FBMZM.

Judith Collins is in and we're going to come back next with a game of political. Yeah, nah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan's political. Yeah, nah. So this is just where we hit you with different subjects,

and you just give us a quick yeah or a nah. Okay. Couldn't be easier. Yeah. Pigeons. Nah. Soy milk. Nah. Soy milk. Nah.

Quickly driving through an orange light before it turns red. Oh, definitely a nah. If you weren't running for Prime Minister, would you have said yes or yeah? Maybe. Pineapple fruit juice. Yeah. Because some people are grapefruit Well you might have been a grapefruit fruit jeweler

Yeah sometimes you accidentally grab a lemon lime And it's a tangy reminder to keep your eye on the prize Self-serve checkouts Nah Oh controversial Are you not a fan? Yeah actually no Okay

You know what because you know why? Every time I'm doing it, it goes beep, beep, beep, beep or something. And you're going to get the supervisor. Socks in bed. Yeah. What? My feet get cold.

You should insulate the houses. It's just my feet. In a wind sack. Oh, I'm sorry. Focaccia bread. Yeah. Isn't it said focaccia?

Whatever it is. It's a yes? It's a yes. Even with the little olives on the top? Oh, especially. And lots of salt. Okay.

Granny Smith apples. Yeah. Those little Jar Smith apples. Yeah. Those little Jarrah coffee sachets. Nah. Oh, okay. You're on the go. Breastfeeding in public. Yeah.

That's political year now. There you go. That was easy, wasn't it? That was good. With both years and nars. Well, thanks for wasn't it? That was good. With both yes and no. Well, thanks for popping in. Oh, thank you. Thank you very much, Vaughan and Fletch and Megan.

It's been great. Tell you what. Good luck for the debate tonight in the election. Thank you very much. Off to do another radio station. And that won't be as much fun. You'll get a grilling, will you? Because that's not commercial.

Yeah. Thank you, Judith Collins's not commercial. Yeah. Thank you. Judas Collins. Bye-bye. Stop. How many times is that? What's that? How many times is that in the long?

You've got to hold on. One more. Go, there we go. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about what happens if you're a twin of the Akan people of Ghana.

You know Ghana? It's the place that makes the chocolate beans. It makes delicious chocolate. It makes the delicious chocolate beans. Is this good? Because I feel this could go down a bad track. Huh? No.

No? No. Oh, it's good? Okay. It's just different. Right. For today's fact of the day, the Akan people believe that if you are a twin and you're born first, you are considered the younger twin.

Yeah. Well, why is that? Of course, you are the younger twin. You're born first. You're born first. Oh, no, wait a second. What? Oh, no, that's not right.

You come out first. You're the older twin. Oh, you're the older. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. On You come out first. You're the older twin. Oh, you're the older. On the birth certificate, your time would be earlier. Oh, my God. Why did we both say that? I don't know. I blame Judith Collins.

She's throwing me. Did the aircon get colder? What is cold is it's love, and you've never experienced it before, and it's a confusing human emotion. I'm just amazed that she changes toothpaste. That's not a boomer trait. No, very habitual creature, aren't they? You get the same toothpaste

and you don't change. Yeah. That really threw me. When my dad didn't want to go to the dentist and he had to get Sensodyne. Yeah, right. That was a force though, wasn't it? That was an enforced measure. So no, these twins in Ghana, if you are born first, you're considered the younger twin. Right.

The second born is considered the elder twin because they were mature enough to let the other one go first. Oh, wow. Okay. Also, I feel like this was decided upon by a younger twin who was sick of constantly hearing that they were the younger brother or younger

sister of their twin. Would twins fight about that much? Probably, eh? You'd hold it over your twin. You'd be like, I'm older and wiser. 100% when you're a kid, you'd be like,

well, I'm in charge because I'm the older one. I'm the older one, yeah. But then in Ghana, you would say, I'm in charge because I'm the older one even though you were born second

because you were more mature and you let them go first. Right. You're were like after you. They're like no no no please please. After you. And on the outside the doctor's like we're having trouble with the birth. Get the forceps. Inside it's like after you. Please after you. So today's fact of the day is in Ghana in Africa the people of the Akan believe that if you have twins, the one born first is the younger twin.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. So yesterday I did a light supermarket shop. And in Auckland yesterday, it turned out to be like such a lovely day. Warm. I was wearing a hoodie, so I was overheating a little bit. Dan Corbett from the news, weather. Dan from the news. Stan's on a really wide stance. I was going to bring it up I was overheating a little bit. Dan Corbett from the news, weather. Dan from the news stands for the really wide stance. I was going to bring it up, but I didn't want to.

It's a real power stance. He's got some BDE. Has he got, do you think it's a balls issue? Come on. A balls issue. Like big balls, you know, like I just think it's BDE. It cuts to him and he's got the wide stance. Yes.

I'm like, no one's pushing him over. Yes. But is he expecting a gust of wind? Why does he stand like that? Maybe that's how he's comfortable. I'm like, no one's pushing him over. Yes. But is he expecting a gust of wind? Why does he stand like that? Maybe that's how he's comfortable. I don't know. I love it. I love it.

But yeah, it always baffles our house a little. Love two things about Dan, the weatherman. When it's Te Reo Māori Language Week, he bloody gives it 110%. He does, yes. And that wide stance, that BDE. I like that with my weather. Okay. Well, anyway, it was a lovely day weather-wise yesterday.

And you went supermarket shopping. I went to the supermarket. And I just bought a couple of things. Got back in the car. I was reading the group chat because these guys are always like, Oh, you know, I'm fine. We're always like, work-related chat. This is happening tomorrow.

Chit-chat. Megan's MIA. This is my problem is that I scroll through a million GIFs and banter. And half the time it's nothing to do with work. This is happening tomorrow. Chit chat. This is our problem is that I scroll through a million gifs and banter and half the time it's nothing to do with work. But then when there's goss you get angry at us

because you missed it in the group chat the day before because you weren't reading. But it's like you guys are crying wolf. I never know when the good stuff's

going to be in there or when it's one going like my chickens. Excuse me? He hasn't talked about his chickens in the group chat for months.

Did you post a video yesterday? I hasn't talked about his chickens in the group chat for months. You would know that if you read about it in the group chat. Did you post a video yesterday? I didn't even listen to it. Maybe I did. I'm just going to have to start sending you directly pictures of the dead rats that I killed. You missed the photo of Vaughn got busted with a parking ticket. They sent a photo. I saw that and you absolutely deserved that. I was in a loading zone, and I was loading.

Also, you weren't in at the curb. You needed to pack lunch to get to the curb. It was because someone behind me was parked too close. Can we post that photo on Instagram? We'll block out your license plate, because someone might want to steal your car. Don't laugh at my poor car. It has had a wash.

It's had a wash. But we should put that, because you look so shifty. I look like a criminal. I do. With a big box, like you're getting here. I's not a wash. But we should put it because you look so shifty. I look like a criminal. I do. With a big box like you're getting here. I'm a straight criminal. So what was I saying?

Oh, yeah, we went for a supermarket shop. Would you stay on track? I was looking at the group chat. It was very boring and I was like,

I'm just going to close my eyes for a second. Was the sun coming in? Is that why you said it was a nice day? I had the window cracked. Oh, yeah, nice.

A little breeze. The sun was coming in. Oh, yeah, that's... Oh, already. Phone in hand still. Yes. it was a nice day the window oh yeah nice a little breeze the sun was coming in phone in hand still yeah just gonna have a long blank and i woke up half an hour later you fell asleep you were asleep in the supermarket car park half an hour yeah good stuff i love an unexpected nap spot got such a fright was like, where am I? What is the time? I sent that message like half an hour ago and I had to wait nuns. I sat down under a tree the other day and I woke up and Shana was like, Vaughn! Where are you?

And I was like, I'm over here doing work. But I was asleep under a tree. But I was like, what I'd sit Like what if I Because I've been snoring lately Like this is something I've adopted Well someone already thought you were dead And then walked out to the window And you're like

Is it a thing Pregnancy makes you snore Yeah really badly apparently Oh okay Didn't you snore pre No No It's producer Anya

It's Anya Because we I don't snore We shared an Airbnb first and last time ever because it was a snoring down the hallway. Excuse me, I slept in the same room as her, so don't act like it impacted you. I had a cold.

Whatever, still. Still. That's a chainsaw brand. Husqvarna. Husqvarna would have been better. That's so loose. Whatever, Husqvarna. Right.

But yeah, after I fell asleep in the supermarket car park for half an hour, it was cosy. Yeah, we'd like to know if you've ever fallen asleep in like a weird spot. Accidental nap. Yeah, like, oh, because I always remember someone at the traffic lights walking to work one day. Just, you know, obviously the light had gone red and they were like, well, I've got a second just to close my eyes. And cars were tooting and I was looking thinking they'd had a heart attack or something. And someone got out of their car and like tapped on the window and that woke them up. And they'd just fallen asleep at the red light at the traffic lights.

Nuts. That's worrying. Yeah, I should be driving. You shouldn't be driving, no. But it also sounds really good. Yeah. But I don't know, maybe because you always see those people that go to the beach and they don't mean to fall asleep, and then they end up

getting like 30 degree burns. Toast them, yeah. And Megan fell asleep in the supermarket car park yesterday for half, she had a half an hour nannies. Just exiting till I was comfy. So we want to know the weirdest places that you've fallen asleep. Andrew, whereabouts did you fall asleep? I went to the premiere

of Terminator 2 with Arnie Schwarzenegger. Yep. And I got there late and my friends and I sat up the front and I fell asleep with my heat brick and ran out the whole cinema with my snoring. I don't get how people spend like $400 on movie tickets and then fall asleep. I'm like, I'm into that movie.

I'm into that experience. Yeah, but I was working really hard for that week. Oh, I don't work. I was laboring. Yeah, I don't work hard, I'm into that experience. Yeah, but if you'd be, I was working really hard for that week. Oh, I don't work. Yeah, I don't work hard, Andrew, that'll be why. No, you're on radio. My three hours is nearly up, Andrew, thanks to you. I'm exhausted.

Abby, we're about to do Fall Asleep. I was working a desk job and I was the only one on, and I fell asleep. Would you never notice one of those ergonomical, comfy chairs? It wasn't really, it was working a desk job and I was the only one on and I fell asleep. And would you ever notice one of those ergonomical comfy chairs? It wasn't really. It was just a boring job. So I fell asleep and I woke up to two customers in front of me. That's fine though.

Like they just wake you up. Were you asleep on the desk or were you asleep like leaning back? No, no. I was asleep on the, like I was sitting down and I had my arms down and my head on top of my arms and I was asleep. I would have pretended to be crying, like, I just received a terrible news. Thanks, you call Abby. Blaine, where did

you fall asleep? I fell asleep at the Moulin Rouge in Paris. Oh, not at the movie. You went to the actual Moulin Rouge. Yeah, I was on Kentucky and by the time I just got to Paris, I was so exhausted. Say no more, say no more, say no more.

I was on Kentucky. Ah, yes, I know. But you sleep on the bus, though, Blaine. No, because everyone was, we just, we partied on the bus. Yeah, I'll be there. You get to the sites and fall asleep. Sleep later, sleep later. Blaine, thanks for your call.

Megan fell asleep in a car park for half an hour yesterday, by the way. I felt revitalised afterwards. Yeah. Ready to go. We want to know some places where you accidentally fell asleep. Yep. Someone said

I was at the Bone Thugs after party and I fell asleep. Oh, I was going to say, because I think I went to that Bone Thugs gig. Bone Thugs after party and I fell asleep. Oh, I was going to say, because I think I went to that Bone Thugs gig. Bone Thugs, aren't we talking about the Bone Thugs in harmony? Yeah. But those harmonies.

Oh, I know that. That's the thing. They are called the Bone Thugs, Megan, but there's nothing thuggish about the way they sing. They should be called the Bone Angels. Sing me to sleep. In harmony. Where's Fletch gone?

Fletch, where'd you go? I mean, you could have just literally ran out. We patted as much with the bone thugs as we could. I wanted to tell you to turn up my sound because I wanted to play the bone thugs of harmony in the background.

See? How could you fall asleep in this? Because the harmonies. Is this a Radio Safe version? No, it's not, actually. Not at all, actually. Okay, well, let's go to Chloe. Wow, gotcha there.

Did you fall asleep, Chloe? I fell asleep in my tax shed at the farm after like a big two-hour ride with my friends. And I woke up and it was already dark. Oh, wow. I hate when you have a nap and you wake up and it's dark and it freaks you out. You're like, oh my God, I've missed, it's six o'clock. Where am I supposed to be?

Where am I? Yeah. Yeah, I literally freaked out. I was like, what the hell? And like, obviously people were just used to me being there a long time at the farm and didn't think anything of it. But yeah, I fully was asleep in my chat shed. Right.

Okay. Well, on what, though? Is there something to sleep on? Yeah, well, I don't think normal people would do this, but I have, like, really comfortable saddle blankets that go underneath the saddle, and I just laid them out on the ground. Hey, that's what cowboys used to do in the wild. We're sorry they did. Yeah, that sounds pretty comfy.

Hey, Chloe, thanks for your call. Levi, we're about to do Fall Asleep. Levi. Levi, we're about to do Fall Asleep. Levi. Levi. Yeah. G'day, mate. Hey, where did you fall asleep? I fell asleep in a conference this morning.

I was going to say, were you just asleep? We kind of came to you there and we didn't get an answer for a while. It was like you might have been asleep again. No, I fell asleep in front of our whole conference and yeah, my workmate woke me up in the middle of it. Dude, I reckon you need to pop

home for a nap, eh? Take a health day. We'll let you get back to that conference now. Have a great day. Donna, where did you fall asleep? I fell asleep at work while I was giving someone a facial. You weren't giving it. You weren't getting it.

No, I wasn't getting it. No. I cleansed, exfoliated, was doing the massage part where you're doing the shoulders and the face. And just with the candles, the music, it's really relaxing. Were you imagining what it felt like? You're like, man, this must be a good music. Yeah, I don't know. I just dozed off and my whole body did that whole jolt

where you're like... I love that. Oh, brilliant. Oh, you'd be mortified, eh? You didn't give her like a punch in the face when you told her, did you? I was going to say, you're poking her in the eye, put your finger up her nose. Hey, Donna, thanks. Can you call some text messages to finish?

See, some of these stories are passing out. Oh, okay. They're not sounding. Okay. Well, we shan't be accepting those. Somebody said, I was dropping the kids off at school, and just after I dropped them off, there was a bit of traffic getting out of school

and I fell asleep getting out of the school. My son had a nap at the Ed Sheeran concert. Again, some of those very lullaby-ish. Yeah. I fell asleep while in labour with my first child. What? That's like the Draven Ziggins. Was that pre or post epidural?

My husband has fallen asleep twice at the dentist while getting fillings. That's like the Draven Ziggins. Was that pre or post epidural? My husband has fallen asleep twice at the dentist while getting fillings. That's the thing. How? Do you guys find the minute you're lying down, it's nanny's time? Yeah. It's at drill and- I fell asleep- Like why noise?

I get laser now, but when I used to get waxed, I fell asleep getting waxed. Really? A couple of times. That's weird, bro. Because that's intense pain. No, asleep getting waxed. Really? A couple of times. That's weird, bro. Because that's intense pain. No, it was just enough. You'd just be like, oh, it's like a little tickle. Maybe you are into some kinky stuff.

I am.