ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 15th September 2021

Episode Date: September 15, 2021

Wanaka Absconders  Toasties  Top 6: Vax Bus  Refund your Date  Allyson Gofton  The Impossible Phone Topic  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Clay. ZM's Fleeche, Vaughan and Megan. Hello, welcome to the Fleeche, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to McCafe, barista made coffee available from drive-thru and McDelivery at level 3. And also dine-in at level 2. Tomorrow after the show, we have a bit of post-show admin to do, a few interviews to record. A bit of a window too, where we find ourselves with an hour of free time

So we have decided it went from a brunch a pot like brunch. Yeah to a potluck toasted sandwich brunch Toasty this is after was this after we talked about the Picton Toasty place you hear this soon on the podcast Shout out to toasty Picton on Instagram all those people they've messaged. We're not going to do, they've got an open toasty. We're going for a closed toasty. Is it an open toasty? No, no. Well, what are you talking about? You're talking about a sealed toasty. So, well, I'm bringing in my toasty machine. It's a sealed. Right. Not a

panini press. You want to use the panini press. No, no, no. We need the sealed. You want it sealed? Oh, so we're going old school. We're going basic. We're not going top shelf toasty. Yeah, yeah. We're going basic. So we're going ham, cheese, onion. What do we need? Okay, well, I'm bringing in my toasted sandwich machine. I've got a KG of cheese, Colby, which is the Edam, which is the 30% less fat.

So that's good. That's good. You need a tasty. No, I'm not going in and buying cheese for this. I've already got a block. I'll bring corn if you're bringing cheese. Creamed corn. I'll bring an onion.

Okay. Oh, yes. You've got to cut up your onion. Pre-cook it. No, not pre-cook it. Well, we can pre-cook it on the panini press that we're not using for the sandwiches. Yeah, good call. Well, I was going to go get a nice loaf of sourdough, but now if we're making sealed

ones, we're just going to have the thickest white bread we can. Ooh, producer Jared's asking for pineapple. Oh, sweetheart. Pineapple? Come on. No, I'll be with him. I'm with him. That's a good option to have.

Cheese, onion, pineapple, maybe a little bit of cream corn. I mean, that might work actually. That could work. Who's bringing champagne ham? Okay, champagne ham. Who's getting champagne ham? Wait, so we're going- There's too much in this.

This is now Hawaiian. Yeah. Toasty. Just bring a lot. Wait, so we're going low end, but you want champagne ham? Is anyone bringing- Champagne ham. You're getting a Hutton's Chub.

Is anyone bringing spaghetti? Are we doing that? Spag, not oak. Cheese and- Ew, yum. No, no. Ew, and don't get the spaghetti with the little sausages in it. If you're going to get sausages, get proper sausages.

No, we don't need sausages. Do we need spaghetti? Yep. Okay. What else do we need? Bread. Did you say bread? Bread.

We need butter. Or mayonnaise. You know how you put mayonnaise on the outside of the toasties? I've got some mayonnaise. Some of that best foods mayonnaise. Browns up. Yes. Okay. That's good stuff, guys. Browns up. Yes. Okay.

That's good stuff, guys. I'm excited about this. Yeah. Shall I bring some Prosecco as well? Yeah. Shit, dog. Yeah. Shall I bring some juice?

We'll make mimosas. Some Prozzi? Yeah. Okay. Prozzi? Prosecco. Yeah. As long as you can remember that.

Just writing Prozzi down could be a bit of a confusing shopping list, especially level four. Not allowed to, are you? No. That's sexual contact. Thanks, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fleach, Vaughan and Megan.

Two minutes past six, just having a gas bag about prizes for vaccinations. Yeah. I said less of the carrot, more of the stick. You're just upset because you're out of the age bracket and you can't, you've already had it. You can't win a prize. Yeah. Just think if you're dilly-dallying a cricket set for your kids' schools

that are exactly going to change your stride, is it? I just sort of thought the health and wellbeing of yourself and the people around you would have been enough. Yeah. Yeah, well, at Auckland's from today, people in the age bracket 20 to 35 at Auckland's Park and Ride drive-through vaccination centre will be able to not only get a vax

and do their bit, but also go on the draw to win daily prizes to the total of $70,000. Your share of. Prizes range from smartphones, mobile devices, whiteware appliances. They didn't jug for getting vax.

That'd be great, wouldn't it? Hotel sales. That's not whiteware, that's an appliance. Whiteware's like, oh, like a fridge. Washing machine, dryer. That's even better then, isn't it? Hotel stays, pendants and $100

gift card vouchers. $42,000 worth of those up for grabs as well. We should chuck a couple of grab one vouchers. What? That's so disappointing disappointing We're so selfish There's still like 33% It's about 30 odd percent of people

That haven't had even one shot I don't know why people are waiting round You dumbass Yeah you dangle this carrot And I'll follow the donkey with the stick You're upset aren't you? There needs to be more stick The carrots are being dangled

There always needs to be the stick Right, okay To get the stragglers Well let's just try the carrots first And see how that goes Get in there with the stick I'm telling you these people Right, as we're locked up in level four

I never had the stick Let's all get a vax Do these anti-vaxxers ever get the stick? As we go crazy. You were yelling at the oven yesterday. I saw on your wife's. I was singing. Oh, okay.

Yelling at the oven. I was singing. It looked like a mad singing yell. It looked like you were losing your mind anyway. I know. Well, yes. Yeah. Yesterday was.

It's, yeah. Did you have a good sleep? Only a matter of time. Nope. Terrible. Okay terrible Terrible sleep Alright, so it'll be another one of those shows today, will it? Yeah, I don't know Alright, let's see

Coming up on the show, the top six Yeah, we need a name for this Vax bus Actually There's going to be up to 12 Yeah, Vax fans rolling around They play the Mr. Whippy tune. They lure you out of your house and then they go, do you want a flake? And you're like, yeah.

And you lean in and they're just like. Yeah. I've got a good one, but I won't say it. Oh. Okay. Give it to me off air. But yeah, we obviously need names for these. And I like already Jabby McChab face has been ruled out.

Yeah, Prime Minister said that yesterday in the press conference. Don't do that. Don't. Yeah, good. That's not funny. Don't do that. She's not here for your bloody shenanigans.

Your stupid shenanigans. So that's coming up in the top six. Yeah. Next on the show, Jurassic Park. A series of movies that all ended well.

And are we dipping our toe in this fiction but in reality? ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Scientists are looking to get together $15 million to bring back the mammoth. The woolly mammoth. This isn't the iced coffee brand. That's already been brought back.

That's back. This is the woolly mammoth, which apparently in the face of global warming and hunting, iced coffee brand. That's already been brought back. That's back. This is the woolly mammoth, which apparently in the face of global warming and hunting, 10,000 years ago, they went into the decline that led to their extinction. Now, why? Good question.

Yeah. They believe letting them loose in the Arctic may help restore the declining Arctic grasslands because they'll eat the grass grass but they'll do poos and then that will fertilise the grass because there hasn't been a large herbivore based in these grasslands. For a long time. So, yeah. So they, and so the grass grows and animals like reindeer and stuff, other ones come in and their population booms and they just mow through the grass grows and animals like reindeer and stuff,

other ones come in and their population booms and they just mow through the grass. But the elephants didn't breed as fast. Right. And, you know, would fertilise the grass as they ate it. So they're saying it might be good for that. And those grasslands are apparently grasslands or grasslands? Which would you prefer at this stage?

Grasslands. Grasslands feels a bit of a grasslands. Because they are lands of grass, aren't they? Yes. Grasslands or grasslands? Which would you prefer at this stage? Grasslands. Grasslands feels better, but grasslands. Because they are lands of grass, aren't they? Yes. Grasslands. Yeah. Grasslands. Grasslands.

Yeah. Anyway, those cold bits where special grass grows, they believe them to be quite an important part of the whole ecosystem that is linked to global warming. How about that? Megan, you've got a question. Raise your hand. Can they not just sprinkle some fertilizer on them?

Does it have to be mammoth poos? Megan raises a great point. Well, it's a lot. And what kind of fertilizer would you recommend? I don't know. Getting together the elephant poos. A raven's down. We'll have one, won't they?

Yeah, but then you've got... They will. Fam raven's down. We'll have one, won't we, though? Yeah, but then you've got... They will. Famously, they will. But then you've got the issue of introducing mass amounts of nitrogen to the system. Yeah, right. Weed and feed. What's that? It's great because it'll get rid of the broadleaf dock.

Yeah. Great. Okay, nice. I mean, do we have to do everything? But people do have problems with spraying. God, I'd love to see a woolly mammoth there. It's great. Yeah, me too. I reckon they'd be to see a woolly mammoth there. It's great. Yeah, me too.

I reckon they'd be pretty badass. I'm all for this. What could go wrong? In Jurassic Park, you remember there was strands of the DNA missing? Yeah. And they filled it up with... Elephant.

Elephant. No, frogs. Frogs. Because these were dinosaurs. That makes sense. Oh, right, yeah. Because they were dinosaurs. Yep.

Frogs were? No, they're dinosaurs in Jurassic Park. Yeah. The missing DNA. I mean, it was fiction. It was fiction. Michael Crichton didn't muck around. Michael Crichton wrote ER, and he wrote Jurassic Park.

Yeah. And he wrote, I think it was called The Abyss. I read it when I was at school. I was like, there's a lot to take on here. And then he died. So he just clocked himself out. He didn't die. Yeah, Michael Crichton died.

So who's getting all the Jurassic Park? Mrs. Crichton. Mrs. Crichton. Michaela Crichton. Which people think might just be Michael Crichton in disguise. Yeah, okay. He just wanted to fake his own death to take the pressure off. So what would fill the DNA gaps of the woolly mammoth?

An elephant. Correct. Yes. You kind of jumped the gun there by saying the elephant DNA filled in. Yeah. But then in Jurassic Park, the problem with the frog one was asexual reproduction. Yeah, right. And the problem now with the woolly mammoth being filled with the elephant DNA is a hunger for peanuts.

But let's have some fun with this missing DNA. Chuck in a cat, a tabby cat. How cool. It would just be like, and it would rub up against you. Tummy rub. Yeah, and you're scratching it, but then imagine when it decides that it's had enough and it just swings the trunk around and knocks you for six.

Yeah, okay, maybe not. That could be problematic. And the fact that those are completely wildly different species. Close enough. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. So the couple that travelled from Auckland to Wanaka in breach of Level 4 lockdown have been named. They did initially seek name suppression, but that...

Yeah, and before they were even charged, which was how much they were wearing it online. Yeah. William Willis and Hannah Ronsley. So when this was going around before they were named, like Reddit had named them, people in the media were talking about it. You could just search Wanaka couple on Facebook

and it was the first five public posts that had hundreds of comments on it. Even my dad was messaging me being like, I don't know who they are. I was like, everyone does. Everyone does, Dad. But it is. I felt really sorry.

And I know this girl's mum, a girl that shares the same name, was on Facebook. She was getting messages and hate. Yeah, that was pretty horrible. And she had nothing to do with it. She wasn't from the right part of New Zealand or anything, was she? Nah.

Yeah. I mean, death threats are never cool. No. Never cool. But I mean, we are pretty pissed, aren't we? So they said, we're deeply sorry for our actions and we would like to unreservedly apologise to the Wanaka community and to all...

For being caught. And to all the people of Aotearoa New Zealand for what we did. We can confirm that as part of routine testing for essential workers when crossing the Auckland border, we both received negative COVID-19 tests prior to undertaking the travel and on our subsequent return to Auckland. We can also confirm we were not considered close contacts nor had we visited any locations of interest.

Well, that's me too, but I wouldn't... Yeah, how did they get over as essential workers? That's all I want to know. We visited any locations of interest. Well, that's me too, but I wouldn't. Yeah. How did they get over as essential workers? That's all I want to know. He's in the pony club and she's a barrister. Well, she can't be making coffees at the moment because everybody's shut down. That's a barrister. Barrister.

Barrister. Oh. A barrister. A barrister. Right. Yeah. That's what I want to know. I want to know how they get across. I don't know.

Was there a horse emergency is what you're saying? Yeah. That hasn't been released, eh? No. That's how they, what they, what their essential worker emergency was. Wow. So they are busted. Do you reckon?

And then even if, so even if there was a reason for one of them to travel. The other couldn't. It's like going to the supermarket. You don't take the other person. Yeah, yeah. And then even if there was a reason for one of them to travel, it's like going to the supermarket. You don't tell the other person. The less, you know, oh, yeah, I need that information. So calculated. Like, they knew what they were doing. So his mum is District Court Judge Mary Beth Sharp.

Okay. She has also released a statement. I want to know, did she actually tell him off? You know, like, what? She would have been... Because everyone in the family has said, William, you silly, silly boy. She said, I'm a district court judge, but I issue the statement in my personal capacity

like the rest of New Zealand. I was appalled to learn of my son, William, and his partner's actions over the weekend. I am highly embarrassed. Had I known of their intentions, I would have told them not to act so thoughtlessly and selfishly. Would your mum have written a letter like that? Would Christine have said the same about you if you'd been caught? Nah, she's a bloody stupid idiot. Stupid boy.

Bloody dumbass. Stupid boy. He'll get a kick up the jacksie when he gets home. Yeah, bloody don't you worry about that. I'll take care of him. So this reminded me of the story. Do you remember this happened in July last year? The woman came back from Brisbane and was in MIQ in Hamilton.

Yep. And we were in a lockdown. Yeah. I think, were we in a lockdown then? When are you talking? July 24. No, I think maybe we were in a lockdown. Yeah. I think, were we in a lockdown then? When are you talking? July 24. No, I think maybe we were out. So she and her, they broke out and went to the tangi.

Because they'd come over from Brisbane for the tangi. That's right. And they were going to miss it. And so she was like, screw this. And now that woman, 37-year-old and her 18-year-old daughter, were both sentenced in court. And they were given, the mother was given 14 days. In prison?

In prison. In prison. What prison? I don't know. They never say what prison. They just find you the closest one. Is that Spring Hill one looks nice. Okay.

Well, maybe you can request that if you ever get caught. No, that one, you know the one where the prisoners rioted and set it on fire over summer? That is not for me. Rangapau, that's not for me. Okay. Springhill, you know what?

The Mount Eden remand, would you do better? Springhill would be for me because it's right in between my parents and my family. It'd be visiting. Good. But I don't know if my mum would come my parents and my family. It'd be visiting. Good. But I don't know if my mum would come and see me in prison. She'd be pissed off. You can kind of understand her action.

I mean, it's not right, but it was for a tonguey. Yeah, I know. These guys are going to a holiday home. Yeah, and we're all in basically MIQ right now in Auckland. So yeah, let's keep that in mind and see if that compares to what that woman got. She got continued

name suppression for her kids. Because that's a lot of the time this is the one thing about name suppression. There are cases where it like in sexual assaults and stuff, I'm always like 100% name suppression because if the name gets out, kids get dragged into it. And then they can

never shake that and then that's somebody else's life tarnished. It protects more than just the offender. A hundred percent. So that is, you've got to think about that in a lot of these cases of name suppression. But this one, nah, mate, have at. Well, they've got their lovely photos on the front page of the Herald today.

One thing New Zealand, we love a witch hunt. We'd be such a great lynch mob as the whole country. Pitch forks, things on fire. If anything ever happens, just make sure they pick a nice picture. Of you? Yeah. Please. The picture on the Herald.

I've still got that photo of Megan drunk on stage at home girl. That's going to be your photo. That's her legal professional. You've got to be your photo. That's her legal professional. You've got wine on your boobs. Yes. Her sweaty pants. That's great.

That's the one if she gets done for like a sex crime. That's the one they'll want. They always want a sweaty one if you get done for a sex crime. Oh, my God. Have you got anything sweatier? This is her professional law photo by the looks of things. Right. Yeah.

As you said, she's a barrister, but yeah, he just looks like a bit, like he might have caught a rough westerly or something. I think he's just been riding ponies because he's in the gear, isn't he? He also needs to shave his head and admit that he's balding. Okay, have we laid into these two enough? I'm not going to say that. You're not. You're none of you. Well, Fletch, you're allowed to. I'm allowed to say that. You're not. You're none of you.

Well, Fletch, you're allowed to. I'm allowed to, yeah. That's Al. But Megan, that was highly inappropriate. Don't laugh. Don't laugh at Mal Patton. Not enjoying it in this conversation. Don't you dare laugh at Mal Patton baldness.

ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Megan. Now, if you'd said to me, you are now living close to a cafe specialising in toasties, I'd say, oh, damn it, that's going to be hard to resist either buying their toasties or making my own toasties. Yeah.

But Toasty Picton has had its neighbours complain after strong food smells wafted up to their waterfront balconies and into their homes. Are they scared the smell of carbs is going to affect them? The stench was allegedly so strong that residents were unable to open their doors or windows

between 7.30 and 4.30, even in lockdown when the cafe was closed because of the lingering smell of burnt butter. Don't call it a stench. The lingering... It's delicious. You can't tell me when something's not open, there's still lingering toasty smell. Calm down. The Oxley Rock Apartments are apparently luxury apartments in Picton.

Yep. I'm just looking now. You can stay there. Oh, okay. Quite highly rated. Yep. 9.6 out of 10 on Booking.com. Did any mention on Booking.com of the waft of toasties? No.

What about the lowest? Can you go to sort by lowest reviews? Oh, yeah. Okay. Do that. See if there are any zeros or ones. Guest reviews. High school for picking.

Like rich people don't like a toasty. They don't like the ever-present smell of toasties. Read all reviews. Yeah. I mean, we don't know how bad it is is Are they just cranking out a couple or are they just making hundreds of these an hour? Even then, I don't think I'd complain It's a delicious smell Do you know what? There's no bad reviews

Oh, right, okay They're all good reviews Right Is there any comment from the Toasted Sandwich makers, the cafe? Yeah, they said sorry about that, but yum. They had tried to get extraction

units put in so they could pump the delicious stink of toasty to a different area. Oh, yeah. But they hadn't been able to get that fully done because of lockdown and stuff. Since going back into level two, apparently, was when the problems started. The other thing, give them a break.

It's a small local hospitality business. Like, they've already had a rough time. Yeah. Just try to make some money. We thought we'd just be a cool coffee shop that did a few toasted sandwiches. But toasties are what everybody wants. So, you know, the demand has gone up. Do you know what?

When we had a cafe, everyone just wanted toasties. Toasties is just like a massive thing. Why? Simple. Just delicious. Yum. Hot, warm, comforting. You've got bread.

You've got melted cheese. You've probably got a bit of browned butter on the outside. Now we're talking. Good stuff. It's good stuff. I want to try it now. They sound like good. So Daniel and Taylor Hamilton are the owners of that cafe.

So if you're passing through Picton, pop in and get a toast and ask them for the stinkiest one they've got. Tell them to really burn that cheese. Really crisp that. I'll have a tuna toastie. That could be quite nice. Turn them out. Turn them out.

Turn them out. Turn them out. Turn them out. I'm going to keep saying it. Turn them out. Tune them out. Tune them out. Tune them out. The latest. I'm going to keep saying it. Tune them out. From the illegal ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there. Vaccination buses.

Apparently up to 12 will be hitting the streets. This is good for the remote areas as well. Yeah, because it could roll into town. Yeah. It could be like, we're there on Tuesday. Yep. Come on. Come on down. Roll up to people's houses even. Yeah. In the roll into town. Yeah. It could be like, we're there on Tuesday. Yep. Come on. Come on down.

Roll up to people's houses even. Yeah. In the middle of nowhere. Yeah. We're here to jab you. Yeah. But they need names. Jabby McJabberton and Bussy McBusface and all that already.

They don't want it. Well, yeah, the Prime Minister said at the press conference. No. No. She doesn't want another Bie McBoatface. Are they going to name all 12? Because I think that's a good idea. Yeah.

Not just one name for all of them. Yeah, no, no, totally. They're going to be individually named. Oh, that's good. Okay. So I've got the top six vaccination bus slash van names. When they said they were going to name them, I thought, well, that'll make a great top six.

And then I was on Reddit and Reddit had already done it so some of these are from Reddit I will credit the Reddit users who came up with these well you've got to do that because Reddit invents

the internet yep everything on the internet and even if it's purely coincidental because there's only so many names it could possibly be yeah um

if it coincided with that of course you plagiarised it but yep the top six Vax bus names, and if they came from Reddit, the Reddit user that suggested them. Number six on the list, the Vax-a-nation bus, as in vaccinating a nation.

Oh, yeah, that's good. Yeah, that's good. The Vax-a-nation bus. That is from user Reddit sloppy period farts. Okay, cool. I mean, you did credit the user. That's the username. Great, yep. That's exactly

why I called myself that, so that one day that would be said on the radio. It would be read on the radio. The rest is history. Are they going to have like a Mr. Whippy siren? Yes. I know somebody, that was in there, and I don't know what user said it, said what music is it going to play?

And someone said it should be Ringer Ringer Rosie because you know how Ringer Ringer Rosie is about the black body. Oh, yeah. It's horrible. A tissue, a tissue, we all fall down. A tissue, a tissue, we all fall down. Yeah. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

Nah, that's too creepy. Horror music. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. That's a bit creepy. No, it's too creepy. It's a little bit creepy. It's a little bit creepy. Next up, number five on the list of the top six Vax bus names.

This one's also from Reddit. And apparently the personalized plate is available. Oh, okay. Jabbin'. Jabbin'. We hope you like Jabbin' too. That could be the song. Yeah. Jabin'. Jabin'. We hope you like Jabin' too. That could be the song. Yeah.

Jabin'. It's kind of good boppy. Yeah, I like that. That's a real bop. Blue Coast is the user that not only suggested Jabin', but also found Jabin'. Yeah, the plate. As the plate is available.

Number four on the list of the top six Vax bus names comes from our very own Megan Pappas. Yes. It was on Reddit, but you said it. Was it? Yep, it was a couple of times. Because they are being likened to the neighbourhood ice cream van, Mr. Whippy becomes Mr. Pricky.

Mr. Pricky. Mr. Pricky. Often pricked, never beaten. Yeah. Mr. Pricky. I don't know if that's going to get people into theicky. Mr. Pricky. Often pricked, never beaten. Yeah. Mr. Pricky. I don't know if that's going to get people into the bus. Nah. But then there's no use denying it.

Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six Vax bus names. Another one from Reddit. This comes from Reddit user Gfreak. Yeah. Jake the bus. Oh, yep. That's good.

I like that. I just like that. Yeah. Give this man his vaccine, Beth. Give him his own effing vaccine, Jake. Yeah. You know, a bit of Once More Warriors. Classic Kiwiana there. Number two on the top six vaccination van or bus names

comes from Tinfoil Tina on Reddit. The Vaxi Taxi. Oh, yeah, I like that. Then you could do it up like a New York taxi. Yeah, but someone said then you're going to run the risk of someone setting up fake Vaxi. Oh, yeah. Where you going, love? Yeah, we've all

seen those documentaries online. Yeah, they don't end well. Megan's got no idea what we're talking about. It's a porn thing, isn't it? Always a solid dream. It was a safe bet. Yeah. Jared was on board. Yeah, Jared knew. Jared knew. Thumbs up from

the distant studio. Yep, I knew. Yeah, he's on. And number one on the list of the top six vaccination van names comes from Shuuo Kate, even though I have added one more. Okay. Because she thought, Shuo Kate on Reddit thought, the Pfizer immunizer.

Oh, yeah. But I added organizer. So it's the Pfizer immunizer organizer. Okay. Tongue twister boss name. That's good. So I'm all for it. Whatever's going to take people.

And I also am. And P.O. P.O all for it. Whatever's going to take people. And I also... And P.O. P.O. for short. What? Pfizer Immunizer Organizer. P.O. Yeah. And I'm all for this.

But you've got to a certain date. And then afterwards, if you haven't been immunized, I'm just going to start whacking. Okay, right. I'm getting a stick and I'm going to start whacking. You'll be like oh that hurt and I'll say yes it hurt more than being jabbed and you know how you could have avoided this pain being jabbed

you've all been warned that's today's top 6 play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Megan Jordan Cheyenne is a YouTuber she's a mummy vlogger and she has posted lots of vlogs over the years about raising her son Christian. She is a single mum.

Okay. Which is to be commended, it would be very hard. Yes. She has made lots of videos and stuff and I don't think this one was intended for her audience. Was it like an accidental live? Was she live and she didn't realise? So, she was trying to get

a thumbnail. So, the video realise? So she was trying to get a thumbnail. So the video went viral. She was trying to get like a picture, like a thumbnail, because their dog had gone to hospital and it had Parvovirus and so they were really upset. So she wanted to get a good picture of them both upset. So that you could click on it and be like, wow, they look so upset. Heartbreak in our house today.

Yeah, exactly. What one is this? What's her name again, sorry? Jordan Cheyenne. Did she have a lot of followers? I don't actually know how many followers she had. But she's been doing it for nine years. So you imagine she's got a few. So yeah, they were very concerned about

their family dog had been hospitalized for parvovirus, and this is the video that she accidentally posted. Act like you're crying really quick. I am crying. Go like this. No, I'm not. I'm not.

She's usually crying. No, I know, but go like this for the video. Oh my God. Okay, that's bad. She was pushing his face and being like, let them see your mouth. Go like this. Like doing a crying face. She's like, let them see your mouth. Put your hand down.

Okay, yeah, turn your, okay, no, do this. I was just like, oh my god. And the whole time he's like, but I am crying, mum. Maybe a bit of comfort. And then he got really upset towards the end and she was like, okay, okay, it's over, it's over. Wow. A peek behind the curtain. The stuff they don't

show you on reality shows with everything set up anyway. I mean, she's just producing her own reality show, isn't she? She basically is, but we've accidentally seen behind the scenes. So that video has been taken down and her YouTube has been taken down and everything after she got absolutely slammed.

Oh my. Yeah. She said at the end of the video, I was so emotionally worn out. I'd had Christian on my shoulder and I was like, come pose for the thumbnail with me. So she's trying to explain her situation.

Not great. No. ZDM, Splashbone and Megan. I'll give you a TikTok account to follow, hey? Oh, okay, Dad. Hey, you guys with your TikToks. You get sent this a lot, this video. Just humor your father.

This, oh, no, the one I get sent is the one of the Highland cows running to the picnic table. Oh, yeah. And the people who shampooed their Highland cow and blow-dried it and brushed it and it just turned into a floof ball. Why have you not shown me that one? That's real cute.

Because these are the same cows that you've got the Highland. Yeah, but mine aren't super friendly. They weren't hand- hand raised from calves. We got them when they were a little bit older. So there's no chance you can turn them into TikTok stars. Not for like pets and doing their hair. People are like, oh, you should plait your cow's hair. I'm like, yeah, good luck.

Get the horn. That's what you get. If you get too close, you get the horn. Well, that could be good on TikTok. Yeah, they go viral for a different reason. But somebody I've met through Miniature Cows, because when you've got Miniature Cows, you talk to other people who also have Miniature Cows.

Miniature. Miniature Cows is someone called Lana, and Lana and the Moose is her TikTok account. Yeah. Lana, L-A-N-A-H. Lana. Oh, because I would have gone L-A-N-A. Like Lana Cockcroft. Yeah. So only Lana right now. Lana DelH. Lana. Oh, because I would have gone L-A-N-A. Like Lana Cockcroft.

Yeah. So only Lana right now. Lana Del Rey. Lana Del Rey. Yeah. But no, it's got an H on the end. So she just had a calf. One of her miniature Highland cattle just had a calf.

And he's absolutely adorable. And she said she put a video on TikTok of her scratching him. And he's like putting his head back and like. And he pokes his tongue out. Pokes his tongue out whenever he's getting scratches. It's really cute. And she said she just uploaded it and then went to bed, and she woke up in the morning and had a million views.

Wow. And she just thought it was pretty much a brand new TikTok account. Yeah. Just put it up, came back, a million views. People have a thirst for cute miniature cows. It's now up to 4.7 million views. People have a thirst for cute miniature cows. It's now up to 4.7 million views. What? Three days ago that went up.

That's some good social media stats. I know. The insights are through the roof. Yeah, it's really cute. Yeah, it's real. He's an absolutely adorable little fellow. But I was wondering if anybody else has experienced this. When you've gone viral.

Put something on social media and come back and it's blowing up. And you've gone viral. Yeah. Okay. I mean, that's what everyone's hoping for, right?

Nah. Really? We put up the video of August pouring the milk when she was a kid. Oh, that's right. And you can see it's adorableness

because she was just panicking, but she didn't stop pouring the milk. It's still like, I still get a notification that's like, so-and-so has commented on your post and I'll click on it and it's that video. I'll be like, there it is, found it. Yeah. Because it got turned into memes and I remember when there was a flooding in Lower Hutt and someone

photoshopped her into the Hutt River and it was... Pouring the milk and then it- But it got out of hand and then like anything, when a certain number of eyes hit something is when the nastiness comes out. Trolling and stuff. Yeah, you've got all that. I was like, well, this is the kid I don't want.

People say nasty things, so. You were wasting milk. Yeah, that was the big one. There's people starving and this kid's pouring milk everywhere. It's like, yeah, that's what she's doing it for too. You can see it in her eyes. She's like, take this, people who can't afford milk. Yeah.

We can afford milk. Yeah. So that went crazy. Yeah. That went full crazy. But this one's, yeah, 4.7 million now on this. Okay. Well, yeah, if you're listening, maybe you've got a friend that this has

happened to. Have you gone viral? Whether it was accidental or not, we'd love to hear your stories. Like, what did you do? Maybe you just absolutely somebody filmed you doing something. Yeah, that would be your worst, right? Like, imagine arsing over somewhere, public,

and someone films it, and then all of a sudden you're viewed like a bajillion times around the world. Yeah, what about those Police 10-7 clips? Like the blow on the pie. We never found out like that. The cop who said it has done things since. We've never found out who the other person was. They're the greatest unnamed New Zealand celebrity ever, perhaps.

So 0800DARLS.M, give us a call. You can text her as well, 9696. Yeah, when did you go viral? Well, we want to know when you've gone viral. If you've gone viral, you've posted something online or maybe someone's posted something of you and you've just become a meme or a viral video. Yeah.

On our Instagram, you can see the TikTok of the goddess talking about this. Lana, that I know that breeds little cows. The little cow is having a scratch. She's very pleased about the scratch. And she just uploaded it, went to bed, woke up to like a million views. And now it's at like 4.7 million views. And this is only like three days later, right? Yeah.

That's nuts. Yeah. So we want to know, when you've gone viral, Kimberley, your husband went viral. Yeah, he did, by a total accident. Okay, so what happened? So he made a video on TikTok, and he was just supposed to save it to his draft

to send it to the boys' chat for a bit of a laugh. Yeah. And he accidentally posted it, and he didn't realise. And it wasn't until his friend messaged him to be like, bro, your TikTok's going crazy. And it had a couple thousand views at that point, but now it's at 17 and a half million views. Oh my God!

What's the video of? So it's titled Good Dad with a Past So we just had a daughter at the end of last year And he just did a video of him Innocently making her milk bottle With the formula And some powder spilt onto the bench

So he made a nice line With it, with a card To scoop it back up and strip it Brilliant line with it with a card to scoop it back up and strip it. Brilliant. As we all search for that video now. I'm watching it. I'm watching it.

That was loose technique of getting the spoonful of formula. He didn't even use a funnel or anything, just chucked it. I know. He's just a bit wild, you know. Yeah, obviously. Obviously. Wow. And so has this gone to his head, this newfound TikTok fame?

He likes to tell me I'm married to a viral sensation. Yes. Hey, there's some copycats too. Lots of people are trying to copy this. Yeah. Wow. He got onto some American, like, new version of Funniest Home Videos.

Oh, my God. People try really hard for that level of morality and fame. I love that he wasn't even trying. It was an absolute accident and he's a star because of it. Kimberly, amazing.

Thanks for sharing. Some messages in. Somebody said they went viral when thousands of views their dog got out and took a poo on a gang pad's front lawn. One of the gang members uploaded a video saying, whose dog is this and can they come and get the poo?

And everyone's like, you're a gang. This has to be tough. And it kind of went crazy. Thousands of people saw it and they ended up deleting the video. Some other messages. People replied. We asked on Instagram if you've ever gone viral. Somebody said, I was in India.

I posted a video to TikTok of an elephant that was being ridden down the main street by a man. And then a side street fruit store fell over and the elephant stopped and picked it up and started eating all the apples. It was just dumb. I was like, but this is like. It's cool. This is cool. Yeah. See, like, it's an elephant that can't say no.

It went viral. I woke up to 4 million views, 12,000 TikTok followers and a lot of DMs from people who were like, I believe you're in my city, hottie. Wow. I sent my mum a Christmas card from my wee fella. Put the district, but not the full postal address. Wow. I sent my mum a Christmas card from my wee fella. Yeah. Put the district but not the full postal address. It ended up on the 6 p.m. news and in every paper because it had her name but not like enough specificity. And I was like, oh, my God, that's my aunt.

And I just went low. My brother had a wrestling-themed party and the video got picked up by Ladbible. I mean, that's a surefire way for millions of people to see your video. When our dog was stolen, our daughter, who was seven at the time, made a video of herself asking for help to find the dog. That went pretty far and wide. So, yeah, there's a few viral sensations that have messaged in. My boy's video went viral last year, and now they're known as the Barrett Brothers. Is that the actual? Is that Mrs. Barrett? Is it Mrs. My boy's video went viral last year

and now they're known as the Barrett Brothers. Is that the actual, is that Mrs. Barrett? Is it Mrs. Barrett and his mum? Maybe, yeah. Well, it's nice to have Mrs. Barrett listening to the show. It is, yeah. Please, for the Megan. Refund your date.

I depend on me. I depend on me. Tom, we could be refunding your date. This works by you telling us how badly it went, how much it cost you, and then we put it into the date refund of $3,000, and we see if it deems your date refundable. Good morning. Hey, good morning, good morning.

How's it going? Good, good. So what happened on this date? Start from the start. All right, right from the start. So I picked up this first time on Tinder date, and we went for dinner at the Lone Stars. All right, right from the start. So I picked up this first time on Tinder date. Yep. And we went for dinner at the Lone Stars.

Ooh. And what I gathered, she had a great personality. Yep. Real good. We ordered some drinks. Food was good. And it was going smooth. Yep.

But then throughout the dinner, I heard these farting sounds that was coming from her direction. What? And I thought that was kind of weird. I know, weird, right? Yeah. But then I thought, surely not. It's not her, and especially not on the first date. So I did a bit of looking around, and I saw the seats.

The seats had these rubber coverings on them. Oh, yeah. And I heard, as they were being moved around, they were making similar sounds. So, you know. Oh, okay. Right, so it's not farts, it's just a squeaky chair. Yeah, yeah.

And it was a busy night, so it was happening like a lot. Yeah. So that was it. I paid for dinner, being a good guy, I think. Okay. And then we decided to go to Mecca's for dessert. Yeah. And in the car, on the way to Mecca's, she farted.

And again, I wasn't too sure. Well, you'd gone away from the squeaky chairs. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And then it's pretty obvious in the car, you know, there's nothing else. And I pretty much asked her, hey, did you fart? And she said, oh, yeah, I did. I've been doing it the whole night. And I was like, holy heck, girl.

In my mind, in my mind, this was in my mind. I didn't say it to her, and I was like, oh, sorry. Okay, and were they stinky or slimey? No, to be honest, I couldn't smell them. They were short, sharp farts. I couldn't even smell them. Okay. And were they stinky or silent? To be honest, I couldn't smell them. Short, sharp farts. I couldn't even smell them. Okay. But then she started telling me that she's real open about

normal bodily functions and isn't really ashamed. Yeah, well, I mean, that's a fair point, I guess. I mean, I'd fart in front of a partner, but only once I'd... Established. Yeah. Built somelished. Yeah. Built some rapport. Exactly.

But I thought to myself, hey, good on this girl. You know, she's got a lot of confidence, but surely not on the first date. You sort of keep that to yourself. Surely I'm not the only one that thinks that, but, you know, I like to think I'm not a shallow person, but, yeah. That's kind of weird. You couldn't get over the fart thing.

Not on the first date. No. Yeah. And like just so many. Just went in the room all night. Yeah. It wasn't like one. You could forgive one, right? Accidental one on a first date. This was a lot. How many in total though, Tom?

I think at least ten. Oh, wow. At least ten. It was throughout the night. Oh, wow. At least 10. It was throughout the night and she farted once in the car. She's like, accept me at my farty best now. It is a good way of saying,

you know, on the first date, letting it all out. I guess that's how confident she was and I was like, oh, good on you girl, but not for me. I'm a big fan of hiding my

messy bits and my crazy until I've really reeled them in. Yeah. Legally bound through marriage. And then show them the crazy and the farts. I think Trish was after a free dinner and she got there, you know? Tom, how much did you spend on this dinner? How much are you asking for a refund?

It was between $70 and $80. $70 and $80? Right, let's, Vaughan, you've got that. Well, with inflation, let's go for $80. I'll feed it into the date and refund of $3,000. Your date refund request has been... Accepted. Yeah!

Head back to the Lion Star. There we go. Congratulations, Tom. $80 will refund that date. Congratulations. All right, cheers. Thank you. And if you'd like a date refunded, super easy.

Just go to ZM Online, the win section, and fill out your details. Tell us about this awful, horrible date experience, and we could be refunding it. ZM's Flesh Warner Megan. Play. ZM. Well, in an ongoing, you remember we lost the chicken. Last year. Last week or the week before Chris

You got the cluck dash hands On the cluck dashy hands Yeah we got eight chickens originally We're down to five And we're gonna be soon down to four Cause Kylie's Kylie's gotta go Kylie cluck dashy hands

You have to put her down Kylie cluck dashy hands Kylie's been unwell for a little bit No she's got like a limp She's got a really hard boob Yeah She got a limp And a little bit of a swollen. But she's like happy and was still laying.

Yeah, and would run around. And I was like, okay. At least she got to go to the Met one last time. And didn't she look great? She looked great. Yeah. And so yesterday I was like, let's have a look at you. And I like for the first time, like pulled the feathers back.

And there's a growth. There's some stuff happening. I sent a photo to the vet. And I was like, what do you reckon? And she's like, well the first time, like, pulled the feathers back. And there's the growth. There's some stuff happening. I sent a photo to the vet. And I was like, what do you reckon? And she's like, well, we could come around, start her on a course of antibiotics. And I was just like, hell, this sounds expensive. Yeah.

R.I.P. Kylie. How much are chickens? They're like 20 bucks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But she's a part of your family. But then Sade wouldn't let me take care of it.

Okay. She doesn't want me taking care of it. Okay. She doesn't want me taking care of it. Okay. So I have to take it to the vet. And the vet's at level four. Have you been to a vet in level four? No. Like if your animal needs to go and you stay in the car and they take your animal in and

then they bring it out. Oh, okay. Serviced. So you're going to have to park up at the vet and pass a chicken through the window. Yeah. And then I said, I assume I wait for the chicken to come back and it's deceased. And then I go home and bury it.

Surely they put it in the bin. Just put it in the bin. But that's what Shanae said, put it in the bin. I'm like, well, why are we going to all the effort of taking it there to be euthanized? Probably because maybe it's more humane than a spade.

Now that's half of the chicken story from yesterday. Okay. Here's the other half. I arrive home, there's a black rooster on our driveway. And the neighbour's there and is like is this your black rooster? He's like I was about to ask you the same thing. You've got a rogue rooster. We've got a rogue rooster. A black one.

I was like our chicken numbers are down and they're about to be even more down. We've got this bachelor in the area. He's come to save the day. Maybe we do a semi-repopulation of our chicken numbers to get those egg numbers back up with a little bachelor visit. Well, you've raised a good point there. Maybe you could do a chicken bachelor. The bachelor.

The hatchela. The hatchela, yes. I've got a name. Brilliant. You could live stream it. Yeah. Get Art Green to do a voiceover. yes. I've got a name. Brilliant. You could live stream it. Yeah. Get Aunt Green to do a voiceover. Yeah.

Because he was a bachelor. Yeah. Okay. So I laid a trail of bread down the driveway to lure him. Oh, my gosh. To lure him. Didn't work. Yeah.

So the chickens were in the vegetable garden yesterday because I got them in the vegetable garden before I plant. They're doing a great job of aerating the soil and pooping in the soil. And they're very proud of the girls' work in the veggie garden, eating the weeds and stuff. And so they're kind of away from where this guy was. When I let them out of the veggie garden, they went over to the fence and they were like, and you should have seen this rooster.

He was like, who dat? Who dat? Who's making that noise? Right. And so I was like, well, come on over, baby. And he wouldn't come any closer. Yeah. So I picked up the nearest chicken to me, which in this situation was Rob.

Okay. Which is who's female, but named for the Klukdashi hens. Yeah. Robin Klukdashi hen. And I picked up Rob and I walked Rob into the next paddock where this black roaster was And I Popped Rob on the ground And then went like come on Rob

Instead of walking back and this roaster was just like I'll have that And in front of my Nine year old This roaster got to it. Have you ever seen chickens have sex? It is brutal. How do they?

He picked her on the back of the head and pinned her to the ground. Oh, it's just like the ducks at Western Springs. Yeah. It was over pretty smartly. Okay. And then he's like, ah, get him off. And then I said, that's how quickly it happens. And she's like, ah, get him off. And then I said, that's how quickly it happens. And she's like, was that sex?

I was like, that was chicken sex. And she was like, it was all very violent. I said, wasn't it though? And then I said, well, we know he's down for it. Let's invite him into the paddock with the rest of the girls. And she said, we can't let him go near Kylie. Because Kylie's not long for this world. I said, look, Kylie

deserves one last night out. One last bash. Let the old girl have a bit of fun before she leaves this. And Indy's like, what are you talking about? And Sade's like, she doesn't know what you're talking about. I was like, I'll explain it when you're older. So did Kylie get some?

I don't know because the rooster freaked out and jumped into a tree. Okay. And then we tried to lure him down, but it was getting dark. And you know how like when a chicken perches and it's dark, they're like, I'm here till the sun comes up. Yeah, okay. So I'm, yeah, I'm frantically trying to get Sade to go out and check, but she's scared because we've got these other birds in the paddock.

We called them barker birds growing up. They're plovers, and they've got a nest in the paddock, and they're very territorial. They'll, like, dive bomb us the minute we go out into the paddock. So she's scared that the rooster's going to dive bomb us. It's a whole thing. It's a whole avian situation. It's a real bird-dominated farmlet.

And then when they lay eggs, how do you know if it's a fertilised one? How do you know if it's raw? I don't know. There needs to be some googling because I'm pretty sure if you've got a rooster in with your chickens at any given time, the only thing that stops those eggs being fertilised and I'm happy to be

corrected, is that you take them out off the chickens and eat them quick. Oh. Yeah. Because if you leave them there, that's when they start hatching and stuff. Oh, my God. Please have little chickies. It's wild.

Yeah, they're pretty cute. Oh, my gosh. They're pretty cute. And this rooster's just like this. He's so black, he's almost blue. Oh, okay. He's got a blue flicker to him. It would really bring some ethnic spice to our otherwise plain brown-shaded chickens.

You know. Well, it's all gone, the farm let. It's all gone. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. Well, we all remember the music. Oh, yeah. Brings it back. On before the news, food in a minute.

We've got a very special guest on the phone, Alison Goffton, the host. Good morning. Good morning, yeah. Brings it back. On before the news, for a minute, we've got a very special guest on the phone, Alison Goffton, the host. Good morning. Good morning, team. This is, I can't believe it's been 25 years. I know, I know. In fact, I think, am I talking to people who are at least 25? Oh, stop it.

Stop it, yes. Only just. Only by about 14 years. So now I feel old. So how many years was it actually at that one minute to six time slot? Because it's only been, what, how many years has it been at that one minute to six time slot? Oh, you're asking me questions I don't know,

but I think it was on television. I was there for about 13 years, and it went for about three or four years, maybe three years after I left. Wow. How would it work? How would it work? Would you go in once every six months and record just a ton,

or would you do it monthly or weekly? How was the production process? It was every eight weeks. So we had a six-week program, then we had two weeks off, and then we'd start again. So from briefing in of my team about what products we could use, to coming up with the recipes, to writing the scripts, having those approved, doing the pre-stuff, like, you know, what props are we going to use, how are we going to photograph

it, what are we going to look like on the set, and then we would go in and film it. Wow. And did you have any idea it would become this huge cultural thing? I don't think any of us ever thought that. I don't even think Wattie thought that. They were so brave when they underwrote it for six months. Wow. At the very beginning.

And luckily, we did put pom-poms on a cottage pie within that six months. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Never turned back. Alison, Alison, that's the one I made. This is my traumatic tie. You've triggered him. To food in a minute.

This is what you need a picture. 14-year-old Vaughan Smith. My parents have gone overseas and left their children behind. We get split up because we were chaos left together. So I went to my paternal grandparents' house. Now, my grandfather was one of those like stoic Waikato farmers, like same thing every night, meat and three veg, vanilla ice cream and peaches for pudding.

Yep. Now, I was staying there and I said as a fortune, because I loved my Nana, like we were like best friends. And I said, as a fortune, because I loved my Nana, we were like best friends. And I said, Nana, let me cook dinner one night. And she said, okay. And I said, I'm going to cook the cottage pie with the pom-poms on top because it's meat, it's mashed potato, it's what he eats every night. It's presented slightly differently.

Yeah, and you'd seen it on Food in a Minute. I literally had the Food in a Minute thing from the supermarket. I cook it for my granddad, who when I present it in front of him, he looks me straight in the eye and says, I don't want that. And my nan is like, Ted, eat it. And he's like, I don't want it. I don't like it. It was like, I've got children now who do the same thing. You put something in front of them and they'll be like, I don't want that. I don't like it. It was like, I've got children now who do the same thing.

You put something in front of them and they'll be like, I don't want that. I don't like it. You're like, yeah, they've tasted it. It's so traumatic for me because grandparents are supposed to do anything with their grandchildren and he wouldn't even taste the pom-pom-topped cottage pie that I had spent hours making with my nana. And, you know, there are probably lots of people with beautiful stories like that that bring back amazing memories.

And then you go, oh, that food in a minute. What happened to that? Even now when I hear the textbook theme tune, I get this little ping of looking him straight in his eyes and him saying, I don't want it. And do people still recognise you now? They do. Yes, they do.

That just shows how much of a thing it was for Kiwis. Yeah, it was. But, you know, it still is. I'm amazed at how many people go online now. So Food in a Minute's online and just shows you that what he's kind of moved with the times and so is Food in a Minute, which I think is fantastic. It's all the recipes that have ever been on Food in a Minute, would we find them online?

Yeah, foodinaminute.co.nz, everything that's ever been done on Food in a Minute. So I did about 700 recipes. Oh, my God. Even the pom-pom one, that'll still be there. Yeah, I found it. Pom-pom pie at Food in a Minute. Why would he love me?

Why would he eat the food I've cooked for him? Don't you love that? Even if they're New Zealand potatoes and he still couldn't eat it for you. My nana and I lived off that for like the rest of the week. Yeah, you would have done. Is that the recipe that stands out as the most popular or memorable for you? I think it is the one that most New Zealanders remember

because they ran out within a couple of days and they flew product in from overseas to meet demand. I haven't gotten the percentage increase, but I do recall the product manager of his day having a graph of sales and then food in a minute and then the graph line went off the paper, up the wall of his office to some new level.

And that's when you said let's pay me more next year. Yeah, and then he celebrated by going to his new beach house and you went back to the kitchen. Wow, an incredible trip down memory lane. Alison Goffden, thank you so much for the kitchen. Wow. Oh, an incredible trip down memory lane. Alison Goffden, thank you so much for joining us this morning.

Thank you. It is time for the impossible phone-in topic. You know, normally we'll do a phone-in topic. We'll be like, has this ever happened to you? Give us a call. And we know that very likely that it has. Yeah, 100%. But every now and again, there'll be a news story, and we that very likely that it has. Yeah, 100%. But every now and again

there'll be a news story and we're like, that's rare. Like, that doesn't happen all the time. And so the impossible phone and topic was born. And we want to know right now if this has ever happened to you. I also don't know

why this topic came up with this MP right now. Is it because it's a stormy time of the year? Yeah, I don't know. Megan, you've got the news story. This is National MP Maureen Pugh. Yes. Now, a little bit of a backstory.

You'll remember Maureen Pugh probably most famously from when Simon Bridges was recorded and he called her effing useless. Here. Yeah, we just wanted to go. You know, like Maureen Pugh's effing useless. Though the secret Simon Bridges audio tapes. So, that's not what

No. Have you ever been called effing useless by Simon Bridges? That's not today's impossible final topic. No. Maureen Pugh has said she has been struck by lightning not once, not twice, three times.

The human lightning rod. That is National MP Maureen Pugh's. I need to know, was she playing golf the first time? Or the second time? Or the third time? The first occasion, she was running a bath when lightning struck her house

and millions of volts of electricity surged through her body, sent her flying backwards. What? Was she holding the tap? I don't know. She must have been. Yeah. That is crazy.

So she was not in the water. Because it affected her arms specifically. Does she not have one of those cables that comes out of your house and goes into that metal rod in the ground? Do people still have those earthen rods on houses? Yeah, so the second time she was turning off her stereo when lightning once again surged through her. She needs a surge protector. Jesus Christ, get her a rubber glove.

That time she reckoned she could smell her flesh. The third time she was babysitting a neighbour's child, picked up the phone when lightning blitzed it out of her hands. That is wild. Is that something? Has she got a lot of static electricity or something like that? She's got... Has she got fluffy slippers on the carpet?

You know, that makes a bit of static. Static shock. And the electricity's like, well, that's the quickest way to the ground. It's amazing. None of which are like a direct no. So she's not standing in a paddock and gets hit by lightning. So you'd be pleased to know that her and her husband installed an earth strap on the electrical

transformer nearest their home. Oh, my God. Maureen, wear some Crocs for God's sake. I never want to see her wearing anything other than the thickest rubber heel. It's not funny. It's not.

It is. It's wild. She's alive to tell that. No wonder she's effing useless. She's been struck by lightning three times. I'm surprised that she's even capable of thinking or doing anything.

So, the impossible phone-in topic, as you may have guessed by now, have you ever been struck by lightning? No, we're not getting any. The more direct, the better. Yeah. Are these just electric shocks We're not getting any The more direct The better Yeah The more like

Are these just electric shocks By bad wiring Or is that That's what someone said I don't know if she's been Struck by lightning so much As she needs to get An electrician out to her house

Got a faulty circuit breaker Oh This is where the circuit breaker Is like I'll pop the I'll pop the fuse here Her one's like No no No no, no, no.

More power. Let it flow through me. All right, well, it may be the impossible phone-in topic, but have you ever been struck by lightning? Somebody asked would we be laughing if it was our mum. Yes. If my mum got struck by lightning, the whole drama of it would be hilarious. Her hair would be up on the air.

There would be initial concern, of course. Yeah, but are you all right? She'd be like, I was struck by lightning! I mean, I don't know why she's talking loud and like a duck, but she is. All right, well, 0800 dials it in. 9696 to text in the impossible phone-in topic. Have you ever been struck by lightning?

We're going to come back next and see if anyone has been. It is our impossible phone-in topic. National MP Maureen Pugh has been struck by, claims she's been struck by lightning three times. Although not directly, it just sounds like... One through the phone. One through the bathtub. Yeah. What was the other one? Bathtap, phone and stereo.

Stereo, that song. Yeah. Does sound like an electrician needs to go around. But they did put an earthing strap on their local transformer, which is apparently... Optimus Prime wasn't happy about it, but he's been strapped down. Right. Apparently it hasn't happened since, but she lives in constant fear of the lightning hunting her down. Wild.

Our impossible. Wild, wild. And it's not like I was like, is this because it's storm season on the West Coast? I can't find the reason why she went public with this. Well, our impossible phone-in topic is, have you ever been struck by lightning? Kerry, good morning. Good morning, Kier. Good.

Now, have you been struck by lightning? Not struck by lightning, but the house I was in when I was 11 years old was struck by a fireball. That's next week's Impossible Phone-In Topic. Kerry, has your house been struck by a Ryu from Street Fighter Fireball. What kind of fireball? It's basically a ball of energy. It's a very rare phenomenon. And it's a ball of energy that effectively comes down and hits an object.

From where? Where does it come from? So it's like mega lightning? Yeah. Oh, my God. Are we accepting that? Well, it's mega so it's like mega lightning? Yeah. Oh, my God. Are we accepting that? Well, it's mega lightning. It's mega lightning.

It's better. It's better. Okay, and so was anyone hurt? Did it just hit the house? It hit the house. It happened at 1.15 in the morning. First time I was sleeping in my room with my three other siblings at the time. Wait, it happened more than once?

No, no, no. It hit the house. Okay. It just about destroyed the house. Oh, God. Oh, she's been hurt again. Oh, I thought we'd lost you, Kerry. The lightning's hunting. The window. I don't think someone wants her to talk to us. No.

The weather- weather controlling government! Katie, the impossible phone-in topic, have you ever been struck by lightning? No, but my dad has. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. When did this happen? It was a couple of months ago.

It's the same sort of thing as what happened to Maureen. Okay. He was inside and there was a lightning strike so he thought he'd better unplug the phone because they've lost quite a few phones from it really and um yeah always is it a rural thing whenever there was a thunderstorm mum's like unplug the tv unplug the stereo you go around unplugging all the electrical surge protector. No, that's expensive. Yeah, no, it's just the West Coast. Okay.

It's the West Coast as well. Yeah, and so he unplugged the phone, but there was another strike, and it came through the cord. He reckons he saw the light going from the cord to his hand and up his arm, and he woke up on the floor. Oh, my God. That is nuts. Do they know? This is not an answer I'm

expecting from you, Katie, but do they know does that muffle the amount of voltage you get? Like does it kind of get absorbed into other stuff as well or does he get 100% of the lightning volt? I'm not entirely sure but he did say that he felt absolutely amazing for the next couple of days. Okay.

Really woke him up. Maybe that's what I need to get out of this languishing I'm experiencing in level four lockdown. I'm bolted lightning. Lisa, have you been hit by lightning? Yes, I have. Yeah, I was actually driving in my car with my sister and my brother-in-law.

Okay. And we thought we'd actually hit something. It was quite a loud bang, and we felt like the whole car actually lifted. But at the same time, we happened to see the lightning. So, yeah, we were hit by lightning in our little car. Oh, my. So you didn't actually get a shock because I'm guessing the car absorbed it all. Yeah, no, we didn't get a shock.

And someone said because the wheels are obviously rubber. Yeah. Yeah, we were fine. But, yeah, it gave us didn't get a shock. And someone said because the wheels are obviously rubber. Yeah. Yeah, we were fine. But yeah, it gave us a hell of a fright. This is what I'm saying to Maureen. She needs to wear some wheels. She needs a good pair of good ears, you know. Lisa, thanks.

Nicola, have you been hit by lightning? Morena, yes. Morena. I've actually lost count, to be honest. What? Okay, so I grew up in an area in South Africa that had like a magnetic mountain range, and the lightning would hit all the time. So it was my car.

It was the telephone. It was, the shower was the worst one. I got struck by lightning in the shower and no one took me down. A friend of mine got struck outside the house in the pool. We had so many lightning strikes, the house would turn blue. I support, was it Kerry with the bull lightning? We had tons of bull lightning. We had a couple of dogs taken out with bull lightning.

Yeah, it was a crazy town. Are these mountains iron mountains? I don't know what they are but they we always said they were magnetic because they just kind of brought everything down right okay I just did a light google yeah and there's like a magnetic field because of

minerals iron and iron would be I'm no meteorologist nor am I any lightningologist although I did I'm no meteorologist, nor am I any lightningologist. Although I did, however, Google our Maori word for today, and it's ruatanapu, which is lightning flashing over mountains. Oh.

Ruatanapu. Okay. Well, Nicola, thank you so much for sharing. It sounds to me like Maureen Pugh, this was a great reason to do this. She comes out, said she'd been struck by lightning, and then people are, other lightning-struck survivors are going to bond with this and maybe give her their vote. Yes. Or not.

Or not. Or not. Or not. We've got lots more stories. When I was playing hockey, I was standing under a shelter. It started a thunderstorm rolled and everybody was running to the shelter. And the lightning struck the shelter that I was standing under. And everyone stopped in their tracks and was like, are you dead?

Because apparently it just hit and just blew sparks out and everything. And I was the only person under it. But didn't know. Just the hair stood on end. We had lightning strike the trees 20 metres from where didn't know. Just the hair stood on end. We had lightning straight at the trees 20 metres from where we were having

Christmas lunch a couple of years ago. My partner was leaning on the trampoline on the lawn and felt the electricity. Lots of people getting struck through

the old school landlines. Yeah. The landline phones. Dad got thrown across the kitchen by the old, he was on the phone when lightning

struck the phone. My dad was at the races and holding an umbrella. The umbrella got struck by lightning. It traveled down the handle and then when it got to the wooden part, jumped across and hit him in the chest. Oh my God. He was fine, but like blew him over. People who saw it were just like, how are you not dead? Wow. My mom got struck by lightning in the 1950s. She was in a stand pit holding a metal bucket. The lightning struck the buckets She was in a stand pit holding a metal bucket

The lightning struck the bucket The bucket exploded and threw her Four metres out of the stand pit So apparently the only thing that saved her from any burns Or anything was she was wearing rubber gumboots Oh wow When she was a kid Somebody said lightning struck our stand pit

Here's another one we had a steel spade in the stand pit And it struck the stand pit And it like glassed up the sand. Yeah, I was going to say, like, Sweet Home Alabama. Yeah, that's what he does. My dad's rugby coach was struck by lightning both times at a rugby game. Threw his umbrella the first time. It melted the bottom of his gumboots to his feet.

Both times he's ended up in hospital. Jesus. That's why you always have a plastic whistle if you coach. No, it was his umbrella. Oh, you're true. That's a ref that has a plastic whistle if you coach. No, it was his umbrella. Oh, you're true. That's a ref that has a whistle. Coaches aren't allowed whistles. Why aren't they not allowed whistles?

At training they are. At training they are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they should have a whistle at training to get everybody's attention or get struck by lightning. That'll probably make everybody look. Well, there we go. The impossible phone-in topic.

Again. Who knew we were going to get any? It was completely possible. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is the oldest bitTorrent file in the world in two weeks turns 18 years old. Now, I don't know what BitTorrent is, Vaughn. Would you like to explain those for those listeners that don't illegally download things?

Okay, so a BitTorrent is a file and you make it shareable. And other users can download it. Now, when they download it, they make a copy of it. And then when they share it, it means that the BitTorrent, I mean, this is real. These computer people are absolutely like, don't bother contacting me, telling me I'm saying it wrong. I don't.

You're doing pretty good. So then when they have it, it makes it faster for other people to download because there's more sources for them to be able to. There's called seeders and there's leeches. Yeah, you're leeching it if you're downloading it. Yeah, but once you've got it and you're sharing it, you're a seeder.

Now, the better seeder to leecher ratio means the quicker download you're going to get because it can take parts from, it's the same file, so it can take bits and pieces from everybody and then it plumps it together and then you can watch your illegally downloaded movie. Or your completely legally made movie that you hold the rights to distribution to that you've

chosen to distribute not to make money but so that people can see it. Whose message are you saying I'm saying it wrong? Well, no, this is, producer Jared has a you want a big pizza so your friends each bring you a slice and you've got your whole pizza. Yeah, but that entails them giving up a slice of their pizza. But they're not giving up a slice of their pizza. It's like they're cloning their pizza. Close enough.

No one's losing a piece for somebody else to get a piece apart from Hollywood. Megan's confused, but she has spent the last early part of the last decade completely accepting other people's illegally downloaded stuff, haven't you? What? Can you put that on a USB for me?

Megan Pappas, 2005 through now. Who am I asking? You're throwing yourself under a bus. No, not me. Definitely not. Not me. Neither. Someone else. What is the oldest? We've handed ourselves into a corner.

That's today's fact of the day. The oldest active BitTorrent, because that's the other thing. As soon as people stop sharing them, when that gets to zero, it doesn't exist anymore as a BitTorrent to be shared. It is a Kiwi-made film called The Phantom Matrix, and it's like a Kiwi fan film called The Phantom Matrix. And it's like a Kiwi fan fiction film of The Matrix set in The Matrix universe. Really? From 2003, 27th of September, 2003.

Written and directed by Stephen A. Davis, who I've done minimal research on. Only because you can click on his name on Wikipedia and it's blue. So I can tell you that he is a New Zealand stuntman. He has been in Power Rangers Samurai. He was also a stuntman in The Hobbit and Unexpected Journey. He's done lots of work in New Zealand. He's been in Spartacus. He's one of those dudes with an absolutely ripped bod.

Oh, yep. You know when Spartacus were like, we'll make a show and we want as many ripped bonds as possible. Everyone was like, I'll help. What? Can I help? Is there anything I can help with? So yeah, he was involved in it.

And they didn't have a way of distributing it. So they decided to put it as a BitTorrent. Yep. Available online. And they did. And it is about to be the world's oldest BitTorrent. Well, it is the world's oldest BitTorrent. Active BitTorrent.

And it's about to turn 18 years old. Wow. Yeah. So this is post-LimeWire, wasn't it? What was LimeWire then? Just viruses for your computer. Yeah, yeah. It was a way to think you were getting a sweet Linkin Park Jay-Z song.

Numb Encore remix. Yes, please. Download, what's an EXE? And then your mum would be like, who's got a virus on the computer? What have you been looking at? And your dad would throw his hands up. Not me. I haven't even been on the damn thing.

You bloody kids. This did not cost any money to fix. Get your brother's mate to fix it. He's a nerd, isn't he? So, yeah, I don't know. LimeWire was a different thing altogether. Yeah, 100%. And also distributed on Kazaa Do you remember Kazaa?

That was a peer-to-peer file sharing thing That was just post-LimeWire, pre-all the other ones So today's fact of the day Is the oldest existing BitTorrent In the world Is a New Zealand made Fan film based on The Matrix That cost $800 New Zealand dollars to make, by the way.

And it is about to be 18 years old. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. So a woman has said that she has a relationship contract with her partner and this is how she keeps the relationship going. So basically he's agreed to several things to keep the relationship, to keep him on track.

Right, like paid dinners, that kind of thing. Yes. What? This can only go badly. Megan's pulled a Vaughan. She hasn't read the article. She's stalling until someone sends it to her. She's pulled a Vaughan.

What were you doing? I thought when we were frantically discussing, and I'll say that was a frantic discussion you and I were having about a podcast. I know. Who do you in the background? What were you doing? Oh, my God. Vaughan, you just simply.

It's in the group chat now. Well, I thought I'd finished all the episodes. And Fletcher's like, oh, what about this episode? I was like, do I have Alzheimer's? You simply must. Have I forgotten it? And it turns out, for some some reason it skipped from like halfway through right to the end.

So I've listened to the last episode ever made, but not all these ones in the middle. Cautionary Tales. It's an incredible podcast. Absolutely hot. I was looking up the... Need a bit more time? No, I've got it.

But I was looking up the meaning of Kim Kardashian's outfit at the Met Gala. It was a shadow, wasn't it? I don't know if it was that simple. How was she breathing? You could see through it. Yeah, but even when you're a kid and you put the pantyhose over your head and pretend to be a bank robber, there was a time where you were a bit like, yeah. I think it was because of just the claustrophobia moment.

Yeah. Had your mum washed those pantyhose? They were fresh. Oh, yeah, good. Fresh out of the box. Okay, good. God, the amount of big ass kicking for that one, putting a run in a fresh pair of pantyhose? They were fresh. Oh, yeah, good. Fresh out of the box. Okay, good. God, the amount of big ass kicking for that one, putting a run in a fresh pair of pantyhose, you know?

Because you were playing bank robbers. Stretching it over this huge melon. Yeah. Or occasionally you get a secondhand pair, but you worked out the ones that went right to the top, fit over the head easier. But now as a grown man, thinking back to, you know, putting that part over your face.

Yep. There's some trauma in there deep, Amy. Yeah. You've just got to find it. So this woman has drawn up the contract. It is 17 pages. I won't read it all to you. That's because you haven't read any of it.

Exactly. But she drew this up two weeks after they met on Tinder. I'm surprised. This is high maintenance stuff. This isn't, it's a no from me. I mean, he's stuck around. Tell me you're crazy without telling me you're crazy. Yeah.

He's stuck around. So, I mean. Really? That's his problem now. I've just loaded up the article too. I'll make a quick swift judgment. He looks like the sort of guy that looks like he likes

to be told what to do. You know, you'll meet someone and you're like, oh, you quite like someone telling you

what to do. Like Megan. What? You like to be told what to do. Megan likes to be told what to do. Yeah,

by Mr. Toyboy. That's a weird observation. I would have put the boot on the other foot. Nah, he definitely wears the pants. Yeah,

he does at home, he wears the pants. Yeah. 100%. Do you know this? You know this. How many times have I told you I get told off? All the time.

She gets told off all the time. Right. She comes to work, I got told off again last night for this and that. Yeah. You should know this. What have you been told off for lately? Oh, the dishwasher's a constant one.

Oh, well, you learned to stack a dishwasher, you monster. Yeah, but I'm also doing it so I don't have to. On purpose, yeah. Anyway, back to this. The first one is honesty. Read a bit more, have you? Yeah, I'm getting through it. Hey, I'm talking and reading.

I know, it's a good skill. You're being told off at work now too. Yeah. God damn it. It feels good to tell someone off at work. I see why I'm always getting told off. It's a real power thing, isn't it? There's adulting classes,

and apparently around the world, becoming more popular. Especially, I think, being stuck at home. At the moment, if you're in level four and it's no takeaways, it can be a real insight into exactly what level your culinary expertise is at outside of the three dishes you know how to cook.

Yeah, there'll be a lot of frozen aisle visits with pre-made meals. Tegel takeouts. Yeah. So, yeah, they're setting up for adulting classes to learn a bunch of stuff. That's good. Stuff that they feel like their parents may have skipped out on. And I, yeah, like thinking back on it now, like remember home ec at school,

they're like, oh, home ec, you do that. And then about year 10, you stop doing home ec because it's a bit, and it's like, actually that is a very valuable life skill that maybe should be encouraged beyond, especially now. Yeah. Like, you know, everybody's,

everybody loves a bit of a cook and a chef and an online recipe. And if you knew the techniques and everything, that would be more advantageous. Yeah, true. Yeah, you can learn on the way. But what about things like taxes? I would have loved that. Someone just to tell me that when I got a paycheck, money was going out.

There's financial literacy in schools now. Financial literacy, right? Which is not like economics, which could be a bit overbearing. Yeah. And accounting, it's like, well, I don't need to know about that. They need to break down how all those afterpay payments all add up. My nephew's got like a pretend bank account. He just bought a house.

He's playing, like they play that at school. Must have had help from his parents. How do you do that? Telling me an eight-year-old's in the property market. Got the herald should write a story. The Herald would love to write the headlines. Eight-year-old enters the property market. Says he's looking forward to second purchase.

What's wrong with you? Plans to retire by 22. Megan.