ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 16th April 2021

Episode Date: April 15, 2021

Top 6: App for Schools  Bakery of the Day!  What purchase did you hide from your partner?  Zoom Faux Pas  Insta Likes  Have you had a Secret Romance?  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleeche Fauna Megan with Hayley Sproul podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Download the Maccas app, buy five McCafe coffees and get one free. Well, I'll be darn tootin'. Super proud of my home city here. Hamilton is moving. Try to keep up. Yeah. I didn't even know about this initial development. There's a proposed billion dollar development in Hamilton's north and it's going to be like townhouses, but it's going to be like on a lake. And so you can kayak from your front porch to go see Sue and Dave. Sue and Dave over the lagoon.

And then what, you have a couple of chardonnays and you've got a canoe back. That's called Ta'awa Lakes. That's apparently going to be in the north of Hamilton. And then, well, this is the story that got me onto it. There's a $30 million lagoon adventure park planned for Hamilton's north. Good lord. And this is all being helmed by former Olympic cycling champion Sarah Ulmar. Really?

Yes. See, okay, so- What the fuck is going on? Why an adventure lagoon like a water park in Hamilton? Yes. Wow. In a lagoon. Well, that's the thing about Hamilton.

It's so close to Raglan. It's like an hour drive to the Mount. There's heaps of beaches. Isn't Hamilton sort of more you drive through it? It's not your destination. Excuse me. You drive through it on your way, you know, further down south. Yeah.

You could base yourself in Hamilton and do the beaches and do like Hobbiton and the Waitomo Caves. The problem with these artist renditions, these pictures that you've got up, it makes it look like it's a Caribbean water park. Yeah, I know. Absolute tropical weather. Whereas Hamilton is not tropical. Also, that water won't be aqua blue. It will be brown.

Well, no, because it's a controlled lagoon. It's not just pumping in from the Waikato River and just hoping for the best. It's not going to be beautiful Caribbean blue water. No, it totally could be Caribbean. No, it's going to be brown, yuck, Waikato water. Maybe they'll have to paint the bottom of it. That's what they do, right? And they situate it. It's sand on the edges and then like a gritty blue painted sand.

No, it's going to look like the rainbows in bloody bumper boats. Yeah, well. Well, no, there'll be better filtration services. Painted sand No it's going to look Like the rainbows It's going to look Like the rainbows In bloody bumper boats Yeah well Well no There'll be better Filtration services You know the lake That the long flume Crashes in

No That thing's Brown green No one's going to be Swimming in that No one's got much Hope for this do they Yeah I won't be visiting

It's a Well shame on you both Is there a lazy Is there a lazy Tube river Because I love those Not in the initial Draft concepts That I'm looking at here Well, shame on you both. Is there a lazy tube river? Because I love those. Not in the initial draft concepts that I'm looking at here.

Maybe some sort of spa situation? There's a two hectare crystalline lagoon. That's a huge plot of land. And that's the one that's bright blue? Yep. There's a beach area that accounts for 1.24 hectares. There's hotels. There's a waterfront bar. There's an active area that accounts for 1.24 hectares. There's hotels. There's a waterfront bar. There's an active park and retail area, events esplanade, a wedding peninsula, and cocktail lawn.

Oh, hello. They're here now for cocktail lawn. Is there a bus out of Hamilton? Very, very rude. Well, that's exciting. I mean, I'm excited because, you know, that's going to make jobs, isn't it? Yeah. What, are you going to go work down there? No, I'm just saying it's good. Are you excited for mean, I'm excited because, you know, that's going to make jobs, isn't it? Yeah. What, are you going to go work down there?

No, I'm just saying it's good. Well, you're excited for others. I'm excited for that. I don't know if I'd go. I'd imagine how our summer holidays, you could do a month-long stint as a lifeguard. You'd enjoy that because you like swimming and perving. I love it. So that's your two favourite things all in one.

Two birds, one stone. And a paycheck at the end of the day. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fleeche, Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul. Happy Friday morning. Happy Friday. Oh, producer Jared's just told us that he gets confused at times. He's been told at times that he looks like Harry Styles.

Who said this? Oh, so many people over the years. People on Tinder over the years. Yeah. Just people in real life. How many? Oh, I'd say 20 to 30 people. Wow.

Is that why you think you did well on Tinder? There was a Harry Styles vibe? Yeah, because I'm so golden. Were you just catf there was a Harry Styles vibe. Yeah, because I'm so golden. Were you just catfishing and using Harry Styles photos? Is that why you got so many likes in lockdown a year ago? Have you guys ever been confused, you know, or said that you look like another celeb?

No. Nah. Nah. You? No, but I've been told that I'm handsome, not pretty. That's all right, though. It's still on the positive side of the face. No, cute's the worst one.

No, bubbly's the worst. Isn't bubbly the one that nobody wants to be called? Unique. You've got such a unique face. Yeah. I don't get confused. What did you call Fletch? He said you look like a bird. I look like a bird?

What? I think that might have been a private conversation. For years, I've been throwing weird, nonsensical insults at Fletch for years. There's been a long list of them. I'm used to it. He looks just weird. He gets off on it. He gets off on it.

What do they call that? Humiliation. It just keeps me grounded. Yeah, he gets humble. I don't get too ahead of myself. Yeah. On the show, by the way, we're a week away from the next Long Weekend Group Toot. Hello.

It's Anzac Weekend next weekend. So we get the Monday off next Monday. Incredible. So, yeah, Long Weekend Group Toot a week away. But coming up on the show are the top six. And there's an app that, I don't know if some of other schools are using this, but this Cambridge High School. St. Peter's.

Yeah. So I grew up in the Waikato, and this is where the rich dairy farmer kids went, or like the rich accountant's kids. St. Peter's was, St. Paul's was posh. Yeah. St. Peter's was posher. They had their own velodrome for cycling. What?

Wow. How many kids cycle? I They had their own velodrome for cycling. What? Wow. How many kids cycle? I've been to that velodrome. I trained in there once for marching. I was going to say, you were a cyclist now. You didn't clip-clop on the wood. No, I didn't do that. Okay, ruined the track.

But that velodrome is posh, right? And there's the Lake Carapiro just down the road for the rowing, it was like. It was a pretty posh school. And, well, they said they've looked at installing an app on students' phones and other devices that would give teachers the ability to control and monitor the social media

that students access. Now, I don't know if that's like blanket, like, you're now in class, boom, you can access nothing apart from Google searches to assist with your research. You can't go to

Facebook, can't go to Instagram. The idea is to stop kids going on their phone during school right? But not only does it say control it also

says monitor. So they say get out. Timmy get off TikTok get off Snapchat. As a rebellious teenager who detested any kind of authority I would have

absolutely flipped the table over this. Same. I can't believe that it's happening. And I remember I would have done like kind of authority, I would have absolutely flipped a table over this. Same. I can't believe that it's happening. And I remember... I would have done like a protest. You know, I would have been that kid who was like, we're going to walk.

Yeah. At school, there would have been a half a dozen kids who knew computers better than teachers did. So I always imagine there's still that group of students that knows way more about computers than teachers. So there'll be people trying to find ways around it. Yeah. But the top six things that they would have seen

if they'd been monitoring our social media at school. Oh, no. Uber CEO, I'll have a go, Dara Kouroskhani Sahahi has commented I gave it my god honest best has commented regarding Uber delivery

of marijuana now apparently the thing that's stopping Uber delivering it already in states where it's legal is it's still a federal issue right so in the US delivering it already in states where it's legal, is it still a federal issue? Right. So in the US, because it is such a massive country,

there's laws at a federal level. That's the entire country. Like how the FBI looks after stuff for the entire country. The Federal Bureau of Investigation for the Federated States. When they always swoop into the local cops and they're like, we'll take over this investigation. And they're like, no. This is a new jurisdiction.

I've been here working hard for months. You don't know my people. So federal laws, I want something them doing it even though it's legal in states. I don't see any difference between the fact that New Zealand's just started Uber booze delivery.

Has that started? Yep. Yep. That's good to know. I'm just checking ahead of the weekend. It's Friday. It has, yeah.

But I don't see it as being any different. Yeah, because it's right. Except for marijuana has, and this is my own personal opinion, like benefits. You know,

like it can help people. For sure. So there's the medical. So in states where it's legal, they could, like booze, do it. Yeah. Yeah.

Totally. But he's saying it's still a federal issue. Yeah, right. Yeah. What is it? Something about transporting it? Because it's legal in those states, but then federally it's not legal.

Oh, yeah. So three dozen, so 36 of the 50 US states have decriminalized marijuana now, either at a medical or recreational level and a lot of places both. But now that New York has passed the Regulation and Taxation Act of marijuana,

a massive state, massive city, people are like, well, is this going to be able to be delivered? And they said, Uber, what are your thoughts? And Uber is like, well, when it's taken care of on a federal level, that sounds like something we could totally do. So they have to wait for the whole country to legalise it or decriminalise it.

Have you ever had other things delivered by Uber? I have when Aaron's had to go somewhere and I've been like, can you chuck this in an Uber? Oh, and he'll just meet the driver and give it to them. Yeah. And they'll, oh.

I forgot my earpiece for the show once and they just stuck it in an Uber and then. No. Oh, really? Someone's got it at the other end, yeah. Also, a friend left their bag at my house once and they'd left after having a few drinks and I just put their bag in an Uber as opposed to me. See, if I was an Uber driver, that would be the dream job. I know, no.

Because you don't have to chat. They won't chat to you. You get a little bit of a rummage. Yeah. Go through and stuff. Yeah, have a ferret. Just depending on what it is. Have a ferret about.

But you can imagine Uber wants to get on with weed delivery because then they deliver that and then half an hour later they'll be back with the food. With the food. Yes, yes. I mean, you'd call that a perpetual energy machine. ZM's Fletch,-Megan, the podcast. The Royal Australian Navy has some explaining to do.

They've commissioned a new boat. The boat is supposed to be a fighting force. Right. It is a very large, I don't even know what you call it. You know. Boat. Battleship, basically. There's different classes, isn't there?

We've been on the one. No, which is the new one? Oh, the HMNZS Kritika. It wasn't a name. Why is the name? What is the new one that we went on? Oops, someone just messaged. Is that an answer already?

No, that's just a no. God, they're quick. I was going to say. It doesn't're quick. I was going to say. It doesn't matter what time. I was going to say, have you got connections, Steve? Have you got naval personnel listening to the show, Fletch?

Navy are listening all the time. Aotearoa? Was it Aotearoa that we went on? I'm pretty sure it was. Because we had some people from the Navy in the Have You Been Paying Attention? crowd last week. Yes.

I wanted to talk to them about it because we went on pre-launch and it was like launching at the end of last year. Yeah. Going on a mission. That's so exciting. It was an amazing boat.

But yeah, there's different battleships. Yeah. It's a real big boy. And so they had like an official... I think ships are almost always she's. Oh, are they? She's a big girl. She's a big girl.

Yeah. She's a hearty lass. Anyway, so they had an official ceremony with all the top dogs of the Navy there, people from the Australian government, the Governor General was there. And then they had a little bit of entertainment. And you'd think I would

go your typical marching band, perhaps. Some kind of military drill based performance. Maybe an opera singer. An opera singer. But no, they've gone with a group of twerkers.

Yeah, this was I saw it online and I the ABC the Australian Broadcasting Corporation apologized for something. And I thought they had added their own effects afterwards. I thought it was like they had edited it

and chucked in some twerking girls. And I was like, oh, okay, that's wildly inappropriate. Then I read, no, no, they were actually there. The ABC was just apologizing for showing them. So when they broadcasted it, when they put a clip up on the Royal Navy's social media and all that, this was omitted from the edit.

Yeah, right. But people who were there were filming it, including there's a video that shows the Chief of Defence, General Angus Campbell, watching what they call the shit show in front of them. And that, yeah, and I do want to point out that they're just some skinny white ladies having an absolute get down on the ground twerk.

Are they like a professional dance crew? Because I don't watch a lot of dancing. I don't know. They didn't look that good though, did they? Do you think they look professional? Or do you think they look like a bunch of gals who thought that they'd maybe do a TikTok and it just got out of control?

Were they part of the official thing? Yeah, they were. They didn't just go. I wouldn't say they've got no rhythm. Yeah. What a weird... Peculiar. They're not even like...

I thought maybe the South Sydney Rabbitohs cheerleaders had popped down or something, but they're not even in time enough to be a cheerleading squad. Timing. There is honestly, and I will say, the widest of them, she is having an absolute time, whose gangly limbs can't keep up with the way she's trying to thrash that lack of a bum around.

Yeah. If you haven't seen the video, it's absolutely hilarious. It's pretty wild. Just search twerking Australian Navy. I think I'm just going to have this on the background all day. If you need to pick me up on a Friday morning,

if you've had trouble getting out of bed and starting the day, it's a great laugh. And keep your eye out for, as I say, the ginger-haired girl. Yep. Really just a step behind everyone else.

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. From the dusty ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there. Today's top six. St. Peter's in Cambridge is looking into, but not yet, like definitely happening. Apparently there's an app.

And if you want to bring your phone to school or your device, you've got to have the app on it, and then they can monitor and control your access to social media, meaning they could be like, lunchtime, okay, but we're back in class now. It's class time. Everybody's social media can't access. But what's the monitoring bit?

That's the bit that will make teenagers go. I can see turning off the Wi-Fi during school, during class hours because they want your But you've got data, yeah, so exactly, but yeah, the monitoring, that's not that's not cool. But then it wouldn't be an app on the phone, it wouldn't matter if you're on data or Wi-Fi

if it's an app on the phone and they've got access to it and they have control, they'd be able to your data's ability to access that as well. It'd be like a net nanny type situation on a device. God, there'd be no Tinder during maths. No, there wouldn't be. I shouldn't probably be on Tinder in high school anyway, isn't it?

I don't know. Is it R18? It's R18, right? I think it's R18, yeah. Gotta be. Gotta be. I've never even thought about age restrictions on dating apps. Yeah.

But surely. Yeah. 18. Yeah. But surely. Yeah. 18. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Thank goodness Christ. So I've got the top six things the teachers would have seen if they'd been monitoring

our non-existent social media at school. Social media wasn't around when we were at school and I thank the good Lord for it every day. You don't have to hide any of those photos from your school days because there aren't any

I know because and this is why we didn't take them I couldn't afford to get the film developed so my mum would

have to pay to get the film developed and you didn't want mum seeing and mum would want to see anything she paid for

that was OG censorship right there yeah wasn't it it was as a generation younger than you I did have social media but I didn't have it on my phone OG censorship right there. Yeah. Wasn't it? It was. As a generation younger than you,

I did have social media, but I didn't have it on my phone. Yeah, you just had like a brick. Just a brick on your... I had a brick where I'd text the boys. Yeah. And then I had MySpace on the computer at home. At home. Yeah.

At what age did that kick in? 16. Right. See, even, yeah. Yeah. Lucky. Yeah, a phone from 13 where you get boys' numbers and be like,

lol, I've only got 20 texts left. Yeah. They were 20 cents a text. What was it? Tuesdays? Yes. And then free text weekends, that was the next part. Do you know Vaughan was rocking two phones for a good five years just because he was getting both

text plans on Telecom and Spark. No, Telecom and Vodafone. Back in the day. Or was it Boost Mobile? Well, no, then it got... Then it was Skinny Mobile for a while. Remember Boost? Yeah, I do.

Boost Mobile, they did the hip-hop tour of New Zealand. There you go. So I've got the... You loved a bit of De Harmo back then, didn't you? Oh, who didn't love a little bit of De Harmo? So I've got the top six things the teachers would have seen

if they'd been monitoring our social media at school. Number six, on Twitter. Yeah. This tweet from a young Carl Peter Fletcher. Does anyone know what happens when sodium's exposed to air? He, he, he. You know in science when they'd be like, look at this, sodium was in oil,

and then they'd slice it off, and then it would catch on fire and burn? Oh, yeah, I think we did that. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if I would have tweeted that, but okay. Sure. You big nerd. Yeah, you big science geek-o.

I think you were just trying to get other people to start fires. Right. Number five on the list of the top six things the teachers would have seen if they'd been monitoring our social media at school. This is from a young Vaughn Smith on Instagram. Okay. Has anyone seen my New York Knicks starter hat that my mum and dad got me from a trip to Australia?

Pictured here. My name's written on the inside. Oh, of course it is. Yeah, it got pinched on Muffly Day. Oh. Did you ever find it? Nah. Oh.

And you've never let it go? Nah. And it was like authentic too because remember when you used to count the threads on the peak of the starter cap and what was it? Eight? It was a fish?

Yeah. Anything less, it was just a rip off but mine was a fish. Never saw it again. Loved that hat. Well, if it's out there and you're listening.

Come on home, I'm ready. Number four on the list of the top six things teachers ought to say that's been monitoring our social media at school from a young Carl Peter Fletcher again, a Facebook status that said, anyone got any spare change for a Juicy?

All donations accepted. Juicy. That is something I would have done. How much were they at your school? Ours was 60 cents. I was going to say 80 cents for the big Juicies. Yeah. I can't remember.

I bought... God, I can't remember. I bought God, I love my joint. My joint is a fundraising juicy. Oh yeah. They were two bucks. Two dollars. For a juicy.

No. Aaron still buys them every now and then in the summer. You have a juicy. You buy a box of juices. Yeah, a box of juices. So good having a box of juices

in the freezer. You just come in and be like, you want a juicy? Yeah. I think I do. And what's your technique? Would you cut the top off or would you just bite a corner and suck it out of the corner? Yeah of juices in the freezer. You're just coming and be like, you want a juicy? Yeah. I think I do. And what's your technique? Would you cut the top off or would you just bite a corner and suck it out of the corner? Yeah, suck through the hole.

Always suck through the hole. No, cut the whole top off. No, no, no. It's fine. Get the whole lot in you. Number three on the list of the top six things teachers would have seen if they'd been monitoring our social media at school from a young Hayley Sproul. It was a TikTok dance to Daft Punk's 1997 hit Around the World.

But it just would have been spinning around because it was the 90s and a lot less was asked of children's dance routines in the 90s. We're happy with anything. They were moving. Number two on the list is another social media post from Hayley Sproul, this time on YouTube, and the teachers would have seen her goth makeup tutorial. I absolutely would have done that.

Yeah, how to get a thick thing. You basically just go all the way around and just keep going. And just keep going darker and more and then a light blend. And number one on the list of the top six things teachers would have seen if they monitored our social media at school. This is just all over for everybody. Google searches for Pamela Anderson, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, the hot one from Hanson, and Yasmeen Bleef. Yasmeen Bleef.

You lost me there. Have you never seen it? Yasmeen Bleef was on Baywatch and was a real, like, 90s hottie. Yeah. And then... Everybody had a poster of Jonathan Taylor Thomas. But isn't he an anti-vaccinal or something weird? Yeah, pro-life.

Right-winger or, yeah, a little bit on that sort of thing. And the hot one from Hanson has about five kids and deeply loves Jesus. They all deeply love Jesus and all have 18,000 children collectively. Yeah. Mbop. Mbop. A dippy dop. That is today's top six.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Well, UK pubs, which have just been able to open, and people from the UK can now go out and see their friends. After a year? Isn't that mad? You just forget that that's what it's like on the other side of the world. Yeah, I was watching a YouTuber, as I am wont to do, late last night, and she was just like, yeah, I've just spent the year by myself.

And I was like, oh, yeah. I'm so sorry. I haven't. And so UK pubs now open, but they're upset because the government in the UK is looking at forcing them to put calorie labels or display the calories on taps of beer at the pub. When I'm at the pub having a pint of beer, that is the last thing I want to know.

Like, have you, when you were able to travel, been to places like, I think Australia does it, and I know the US does it, like, on their menu boards, you might go to a fast food restaurant. Oh, yes, there's calories beside it. And, like, you'll just look at a burger, and beside it, it's, like, heaps of calories, and you're just like... Now, do you look at that as, like, well, I'm not going to be able to have that one, or do you look at it as, like, well, I'm here, I might as well hit the big dog? Because that's how I look at it.

I'm like, well, I'm here. I'm not... If there's a 600-calorie burger or an 800-calorie burger, I'm eating the 800. I'm not half if there's a 600 calorie burger or an 800 calorie burger, I'm eating the 800. I'm not half-assing this. But it does make me feel bad because you, everyone's gone on an exercise machine, right? And you go on an exercise machine for 20 minutes and it's like 300 calories.

And then you're about to eat a burger that's 800 or 1,000. You're just like, oh, wow. If you ever look at that, like how many hours do you have to run to burn off a burger? And it's like a marathon. Or a chocolate bar, and you're just like, ah. Yeah, wow. Well, I don't know. Would that put you off at the pub?

Probably not. I mean, you know that beer's carby, right? I mean, that's why I don't really drink beer. Yeah, beer's lost. I feel like if you're going to have a beer, you're not going for health purposes. No. You're not going like,

oh, you know, I'll just incorporate it as part of my... Like, I feel like it's a treat. You're having a little treat. I don't want to know what the calories of my treats are. So I just Googled some low alcohol options. Whiskey, dry martinis, brandies Tequila shots And vodka and soda water Are zero grams of carbs

Those are the drinks with the fewer carbs I was like tequila? Sorry low Straight whiskeys? My weekend last week Sorry low carb, full alcohol And then at your higher end You've got your gin and tonic

Is 14 grams of carbs So that's like sugar right? A you've got your gin and tonic. It's 14 grams of carbs. So that's like sugar, right? A lot of that is in the tonic. It's tonic water, and it makes people think it's the same as soda water, but no, no, no. But it's so much sugar. The same as Sprite. Vodka and orange juice, 18 grams.

That's the orange. Yeah. White Russians and rum and cokes, they're up. Their rum and coke's 22. Again, that'll be your cola that's high in the sugar there. Bumping that up. I just don't want to know these things. Well, Cozmine, that's only 13.

You just live in ignorant bliss, right? Yeah. I mean, you don't have to tell me twice to have a martini, though. Yeah, although you do a lot of keto. What is that? What are you allowed to drink when you're on keto? That low-carb-less vodka. Funnily enough, dry Prosecco.

But it's all, I mean, it's still high in calories. It's just low in carbohydrates. Right. That's got its own calories. I'm not ketoing at the moment, so I might go for something.

So anything. All right. Well, speaking of the whole cocktail board. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. ZM.

Bakery of the day. Well, what did you say when we were on that list yesterday? The third fattest nation, Hayley? Yeah, baby. Well, let's you say we were on that list yesterday? The third fattest nation, Hayley? Yeah, baby. Well, let's see if we can get to at least two. I know.

Move over, Mexico. We're coming for you. Maybe this segment can help. Bakery of the Day. We take your nominations every Friday for your favourite bakery. Bakery number one. Kirsty joins us. Good morning, Kirsty. Morning. Now, who are you nominating for Bakery of one. Kirsty joins us. Good morning, Kirsty.

Morning. Now, who are you nominating for Bakery of the Day? The Bakehouse Cafe in Fairfield, Hamilton. Oh, on Heafy Terrace. Yes, that's the one. Yeah. What is it? Have you been there, Vogue?

Oh, on Heafy Terrace. I can tell you what. I just went there now. That's my morning stop on the way to work. What did you get for breakfast? I got an apple turnover and a sausage roll. Yum. I love a saucy roll.

Producer Jared loves a saucy roll. He gets those servo sausage rolls and they're like a foot long. Yeah, I get a Mrs. Max saucy roll. But it's like full on. It's like the length of my arm. Yeah, it's a big old sloppy sauce. He slams it on the desk and it thuds. Yeah, it's a thud.

Absolute power play. What else are they known for? What else is good there? So my absolute favourite pie of theirs is steak, cheese and jalapeno. Oh, yes. What a spicy move. Yeah, that sounds good. I'll tell you what,

there's a few tinny houses around that in Fairfield as well, so I bet they do a thriving business after everyone has been and picked up their tinfoil of broccoli. We might have to point out, I do want to double check this, is it a bakery?

It is called Bakehouse Cafe. It is a bakery. You can sit down and have your breakfast there. So they do like steak and chips and eggs for breakfast and that kind of stuff. But predominantly,

it is a bakery. Yeah, see. Just make it short. Just make it short. If there was a needle, I think it would be pointing more towards bakery. Yeah, yeah.

For me. There we go. All right, Kirstie. Do you reckon this is, I've just Googled, do you reckon this is the, is that a cheeseburger pie? Do they do a cheeseburger pie?

Yes, they have a cheeseburger pie. Oh, my Lord. Yeah, I was going to say, because that looks like pickles between two patties and some cheese. I was going to say, that doesn't look like steak and jalapeno. That looks like a different situation altogether. All right, Kirsty, hold the line. Bakery number two.

Lachlan joins us this morning. Good morning, Lachy. How are you? Morning. Good. You, too? Good, mate. Now, what bakery are you nominating today?

Fairly Bakehouse. Oh, very famous bakehouse. Fairly Bakehouse. Yeah, very famous. I don't know if I've been there, though. I haven't been, but you always hear about people passing through and it's something for a pie. Yeah, because it's on my main route. Yeah.

Our old producer, Caitlin, she's from Fairly. She always would rave about the pies. Whenever she'd say, I'm from Fairly,, our old producer, Caitlin, she's from Fairlie. She always would rave about the pies. Whenever she'd say, I'm from Fairlie, people would be like, oh, the bakehouse. The pies. That was the first thing they'd say. What their motto is, which I like, bakers, not manufacturers.

Oh, yeah, that's a real dig, isn't it? That's a real shot across the bow there, the likes of the Mrs. Max Long and Sloppy Sauce. Yeah. Lachlan, what's your go-to there at the Fairleigh Bakehouse? As much as no one likes to eat a salmon pie, it is their delectable bacon and salmon. I'm looking at the bacon and salmon pie on their website, actually. A salmon pie?

I love salmon. I've seen it before. Have a look at it, though. It looks good. The bacon got me. And it's got cheese in it. It's chunky bacon, too. It's a a thin rasher

Very good Wow A salmon pie I wouldn't have thought of that I think we would be remiss To ignore the fact That every time we do Bakery of the day

Somebody messages in That can't get through On the phone About the Fairleigh Bakehouse I know It is a go-to isn't it And so every time You do a salmon pie Lachlan

Or do Rick Edson I've only been there twice It's been a salmon even though I've only been there twice, it's been a salmon pie. So I've been there twice. The passion you were selling, I thought you were a regular. I'm getting passionate about it. I'm looking at their pie menu. There's a pork belly with apple sauce and crackling pie.

They're legendary. Do they do good slices, though? Yeah, what's the sweet section? Pretty sure, because you look in the cabinet and they're always just standing out, and they're not tall slices either. They're quite big. Yeah, good, because I don't like a stingy cut

or a stingy icing. Or it's probably like $18 as well. Yeah, all right. Well, I'm going to throw my vote for Lachlan today in the Fairleigh Bakehouse, because like you say, Vaughan, this has been a long time coming for them. Yeah, as much as I'd like to support

my home city of Hamilton and say stoners aplenty have been nourished. Yeah. Nourished during the munchies period at the Bakehouse in Fairleigh. I will also be joining the Fairleigh Bakehouse. This is like an emerging nation going up against the All Blacks

or a top tier rugby team in the world. They'll be back. They'll be back. They'll be back. Controversially, I would have gone for Kirstie's Bakehouse. Oh, okay. I just feel like Kirstie could support it more, support her argument.

She's a regular. She was literally there just now. And you hate salmon. I feel like Lockie, you know, he'd only been there a couple of times. How do we know? True. But I am outvoted.

Well, you are outvoted, Lockie. Congratulations. The Fairleigh Bakehouse taking out Bakery of the Day. It's been a long time coming. So we'll send them a certificate. Can't wait to see it in their window. Maybe you'll see it in the window the next time you get a salmon pie, Lachlan. Maybe they'll get it screen printed on the window, on the glass.

Why not? You know, with your name. Why not? ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. I'm a little nervous that my fiancé Aaron is listening. He's down in Christchurch visiting his brother and his family. Right, his brother listens because his brother messages you.

He does. So Matt, if Aaron's listening, can you turn off the radio for a bit? Crash the car. If you're in the car, just bash that into the street lamp. Or just stop being a narc. Yeah, don't be a narc.

Actually, to all of his brothers. He's one of five. All of you siblings, don't be a narc. So Aaron's away this, until Monday, visiting his family and some friends down in Christchurch. And I was like, oh, finally,

this is such a good opportunity for me to put away all the purchases in my boot of my car, which is where I hide my shopping until I can sneak it in. Until he's not home. Until I can sneak it inside. And so he not home. Until I can sneak it inside. And so he's away all weekend, so you've got all weekend to empty your boot. Yeah, because Aaron has been working at home and he's been working on our house. So whenever I come home from work or from wherever, he's just always there.

He's lurking. Yeah, and I've always got the bags and I'm like, oh, uh-oh, okay, I'll just leave these in the boot because we are doing some renovations at the moment, so, you know, the budget's tight. Yeah, right. And I've always got the bags and I'm like, oh, uh-oh. Okay, well, I'll just leave these in the boot because we are doing some renovations at the moment. So, you know, the budget's tight. Yeah. And I'm the one who looks at the budget and goes, whew, we need to pull back on the renovation.

So now I can't turn up with bags of shopping. So they've been sitting in my... Well, actually, I put one on today because he's not here, so he won't notice. And those Doc Martin sandals. Yeah. Got a pair of Doc Martin sandals. So they've been sitting in the boot for about a week.

Those won't be cheap. Is it good having like this regular place of employment to get things sent to? Because otherwise you'd have to probably get sent them home, right? Yeah, I try to spread it out a bit because I don't want to annoy the people here. So I get some sent to TVNZ, some sent here, some sent home. I thought you were going to say some sent home. TVNZ, where I'm at a couple of days a week. Yeah, yeah.

I've got, no, it's quite bad. I've got two bags of shopping that I've sort of compiled over some time and they can come into the wardrobe now. And I guess the plan is to kind of just ease into wearing them i won't try to wear them all at once right and then just he he sees you every day he's your fiance he's going to know that you've purchased clothing i have a very robust wardrobe though very robust and i feel like he'll just be like oh i haven't seen that

what do you mean What do you mean robust wardrobe? It's big, there's lots of different things, lots of similar things you know like, how many pairs of black pants, you know so these pants I'm wearing now, they're brand new, he didn't notice, this is a pair of black pants Because Andrew had a pair of black pants. Yeah right. But then my argument would be on behalf of

all the Aaron's and Vaughn's of the world Why do you need to have a pair of black pants? Bingo. Why do you have, you've got so many black pants. How many times do I have to say on air that I've put on 4kg since working at this show? Right. As she eats a cake. As I eat a cake.

We're not making you eat that cake. In fact, you brought that cake in. To share and you said no. So don't now point the finger at Vaughn and I for enjoying a cake. But look, no, I'm usually pretty honest with Aaron, but I've just had a bit of a thirst for a shop recently, and it's a little bit too regular probably for his liking. So I have been hiding them.

So this weekend is a great chance to finally get those in. But I wanted to ask our listeners, this is something that they do. It doesn't have to be the ladies only. What purchases have you hidden from your partner? How long did you hide it for? And how many people are driving around with a boot full of clothes to slowly introduce them when they find the time?

Or like do people have a hiding place at home when they get in? Like you chuck it in the garage maybe up somewhere or. Yeah. Or hide it. And then when the partner goes, you get it then. Quickly chopping off the labels. And then you have to hide the packaging in the bin too. Because they can see the packaging. Yeah, well that's what I'm worried about now because the recycling just went out and he's going to come

home. Right. And there's going to be a Doc Martin box there. Tip from an old dog. Here at work, they've got an entire room dedicated to recycling in the basement. Oh my God, he's back on Monday night.

I'll bring it in on Monday. Yeah. Bring all my baggage. All your cardboard boxes. You've got to crush the boxes and chuck them in the cardboard thing. Yeah, I might crush them and put them under

this weekend's wine edition. You'll never see them. Bear it in booze. Won't see them for the... So give us a call, 0800-DARLS-IT-M, 9696 to text us. What purchases have you hidden from your partner? Big or small.

Big or small? And did you get away with it? Or did they notice straight away? And I just want to reiterate, I do plan on getting away with this. So to the courtesy siblings, you shut your mouth. We're talking about the purchases you've hidden shut your mouth. We're talking about the purchases you've hidden from your partner.

My partner's away and it's given me the window to empty my boot of all the purchases I've been hiding from him. Just put them straight into the wardrobe and hope he doesn't notice. It reminded me the other day, I was at home, Sade arrived home. She's doing some shopping because her dad's got a new place to kind of like make sure

he just doesn't buy the cheapest shit on the market, which he would totally do. And she came home and she walked in and I was like, oh, I do a bit of shopping for yourself, did you? And she's like, well, no, I've been shopping for dad. I was like, new jeans. Boom. Like that's Eagle Eye Smith, new jeans. I said, I believe the kids are calling those a boyfriend fit.

Ah, yes. And she was like, okay kids are calling those a boyfriend fit. Ah, yes. And she was like, okay. Like, she knows. She knows. This guy's still got the old eyes. How did she think she was hiding a new pair of jeans that were a completely different cut? She just thought I was the average male without an eye for the detail. Yeah, but old Smithy,

he's a fashionista. Might not, yeah. See, that wouldn't be good for me. I rely on Aaron's lack of care about fashion. Right. Anonymous has called in. Anonymous, now you, you had a pretty big purchase.

Yeah. So what did you buy? Okay, well, my partner is an old school farmer and was always really against heat pumps. And like I'd say to him, oh my gosh, it's so cold, it's so cold. I really want to get a heat pump for our house. And he'd always be like, I'll just chuck another blanket on, you know. Wait, so what was heating the house, like a log fire or something?

Fricking nothing. And we live in the Waikato. Oh, yeah, the old foggy, old damp, old miserable winter Waikato. We had like a whole cupboard full of itchy blankets. Oh, no. And he was like, put some socks on, put some more pyjamas on, like just hard enough. Yeah. And so I won, not won, actually bought a heat pump.

Wait, hang on. How did you say you won the heat pump? Because, like, the appliance stores do competitions all the time, and I am partial to a good competition, and I have won lots. So he's used to me winning stuff. And so I was like, got it installed. And I was like, look what I've won. They turned up today.

Oh, my God. That was 11 years ago. Hang on, did you come clean? Or is that still your free heat pump running? Sorry, you just cut out. Did you ever tell him that you'd won it? No. Or he still doesn't know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, he still thinks I won it. Yeah, good. I remember back when you won that heat pump. I'm like, yeah. This is amazing. You know, you need a heat pump on the other end of the house too, so maybe you'll win another competition.

Yeah, or win an upgrade. Does he like the heat pump bills, though? Oh, he doesn't actually care. Oh. In the middle of summer, we're smoking. He's like, oh, this heat pump you won is amazing. Yeah, of course he does, cheap old buddy. Yes, brilliant.

Anonymous, thank you for your call. Another anonymous caller hiding some purchases at the moment. Yeah, so I buy random health plants on Marketplace in the hopes that as I rotate them for their little sunlight in our apartment, my partner won't notice them and will think, oh, maybe that's just a plant that was in the bathroom. Yeah, I do exactly the same thing, anonymous. And if they're a medium-sized plant, you kind of just tuck them in in the bathroom. Yeah. I do exactly the same thing, Anonymous. And if they're a medium-sized plant, you can kind of just tuck them in with the rest.

If you're like me and you've got... Yeah, they just clean them. Yeah, you've got a few plants and I've got a few similar ones. I'm like, no, no, no, it's just grown. It's just cutting. I've just been growing it. Yes. Just from another plant.

Because, Hayley, you do about, what, three or four plant pickups a week on average, I've noticed. Yeah, it's become a bit of an issue. I think in our tiny little house, Erin's going to start to notice it.

When it becomes a jungle. Anonymous, thank you. Ask them text messages. Somebody said, I bought a new golf club, $600. Golf club bags in the garage,

so it wasn't too bad. But my wife's super observant, so I had to get the same brand as my existing golf clubs because she'd notice. Don't you put those socks over it? She'd never notice if you put the sock back over it. Well, that's if the $600 club was a driver, but it might have been an iron.

And then put some mud on it because you always get dirty. Yeah, get a bit of mud on it. Get a bit of dirt, dirt. This old thing. Come on, use this a thousand times. Get a bit of dirt, dirt. NBA cards. Somebody said I can spend hundreds, and I. Get a bit of dirt, dirt. NBA cards. Somebody said, I can spend hundreds.

And I said to her, these are just some cheap ones I got. She wouldn't know the price. I hope one day she doesn't sell them when she's angry at me for far less than they're worth. Because that's what I've told her they are worth. I hide Botox and fillers from my much younger partner. We're both guys. When we were going through our renovation expenses, there was a few grand under personal image.

He asked me what that was, and I said it was a clothing shop, which appeases curiosity, thank God. Keeping the 13-year age gap closed for five years and counting. Damn. Wow. You don't tell your partner about Botox.

But then what about when you're watching, when he surprises you and you're just like, and your face doesn't move. Or when you come home for a kiss and your lips are like boo. Yeah, with filler

and everything. My dad has managed to hide the fact that he bought a digger from my mum. It's in our backyard. I think he's telling people he's just borrowed it

from somebody but he's purchased a digger. Wow. Oh my God, that is a dream. That's your dream, isn't it? That is a dream.

Oh wow. It has some big-ticket tools. I always wonder with big purchases how people hide the financial side of it. Finances, yeah. Yeah. Must be people's separate accounts maybe. Yeah. Gosh, imagine that, just a 10K.

Or how much is a digger? Oh, a good digger, like tens of thousands. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Well, in the last year of the pandemic with Zoom meetings, we've had some absolute doozies of some Zoom incidents. My favourite is like news reporters who were working from home and they thought they'll just put a shirt on but no pants. And then get up and you see.

Or just like the framing is just not tight enough. Yeah. Or kids come in or cats come in. Yes. Or the lawyer that couldn't turn off the filter. That's right. There was an actual court in session and the cat filter was on. They were like, I'm not a cat.

And then, of course, the start of the year, the famous parish zoom meeting with Jackie that's right Jackie Weaver well in Canada overnight another zoom incident to add to the list Will Amos is a Canadian MP

and he was connected to the zoom conference early when he got back from a little exercise. I believe he'd gone for a run or a cycle and was changing into his clothes and he was fully nude. What? Fully nude. What a nude.

In the Zoom. That's all new. Because Zoom, like you can, like we've got an invitation for a Zoom today at 10 o'clock. And you can, if you just click on that, you can be in the waiting room. You can be in the waiting room. Yeah, and then it just kicks off and then you're automatically in it.

Yeah, so I'm imagining he's in the waiting room and he's like, well, I'll just go for a run and get changed. And when I come back, I'll be in the meeting. Or he might've come in after the run and been like, oh yeah, I'm in. Oh yeah, it's just in the waiting room. Time to whip off these awful sweaty clothes.

But you're fully nude. And now he's, yeah, it's just in the waiting room. Time to whip off these awful sweaty clothes. But yeah, fully nude. And now he's, yeah, the members of parliament have seen his member of parliament. I love that he said, we don't need these sort of distractions in the pandemic. I don't know. This isn't exactly what we need. Yeah, I know.

Sometimes we do need a distraction, a healthy distraction. I've been reading this very interesting article and I've got a question for you. Both. If you could be one age for the rest of your life, what would it be? Oh. Or if you could go back to an age

and sit there for a little bit longer. My 30s. But I feel like this is a question you need to ask people that are like 70 or 80. Do you feel your best is yet to come? Well, I don't know. Maybe not. I think you appreciate different aspects of different ages.

But maybe, yeah, maybe 30s. I reckon mid-30s. That was a pretty sweet spot. Like when I was really fit? Like then? Before it hurt to get off the couch. Before rolling off the couch was the best way to get off the couch. Before rolling off the couch was the best way to get off the couch.

Before every time you stood up you went, yes! Mine's 19. 19? No. 19? No. I was hot. I was single. I had a cool job in fashion. I moved into my first flat.

I was having parties. I got into drama school. It was just like the time of my life. Really? How do you think that makes your fiancé feel? We met when I was 21 and it's all going downhill since then. Right. No, it hasn't. But I just, I remember feeling very free because I didn't have a lot of money.

So I had no financial concerns. I didn't have anything. I was just like living my life. I just find it weird when people are like, oh, school was the best time ever. Oh my God, no, done with school. Like, no. Well, psychologists have been looking into the age where people in general are happiest

and you guys are spot on, 36. Right in your mid-30s. It's not your childhood because there is so much to navigate through there. There is like... Pubes. I mean, pubes. Remember that?

God, that was because you wanted them so bad. I was a late puber. I was a late puber, I'll admit it, and everyone had them and I was like, something's wrong with me. I don't have them. And then they came and I was like, I don't want these. I want them so badly. And then you get them and you're like, blech. Waiting for boobs and then they came and I was like, I don't want these. I want them so badly. And then you get them and you're like, blech.

Waiting for boobs and then they come and you're like, ow, they're so heavy. Get out of here, boobs. And then, of course, there's your 20s, which are like, they're pretty wild and tumultuous. And you're kind of finding yourself and making those big life decisions like, what am I going to study at uni? What am I going to put my life behind? Who am I going to study at uni? What am I going to put my life behind? Who am I going to meet? And then you kind of reach into your 30s and you start to put all that behind you and really know who you are.

You might have a bit of security, but you're not feeling old yet. Yeah, right. So 36, the ideal age. Yeah, so they say between 30 and 45 is what they call established adulthood, which means that you've kind of landed within yourself, but you're not, I don't know, it's not the end of the road.

Yeah, yeah. You haven't sort of settled into middle age yet. You're still working. You're still trying to climb the ladder of your chosen career. You've still got ambition. I'm not saying that at 50 you don't have these things, by the way. This is a general vibe. But they say, yeah, when you hit around the 36 mark,

a lot of people start to breathe a sigh of relief. They've made the biggest decisions of their lives already. And that's when you get the boobs and you're like, these are heavy. Yeah, I know. I'm still waiting. I'm 31. This metabolism thing, when's this going to kick in? Oh, no, Vaughan, that's gone.

You missed that window. I was never here. Yeah. 36. Well, I've got five more years of flapping around and figuring it all out, I guess. Just good.

Good luck. Thank you so much. I'll see you guys on the other side. Good luck to all humans involved. Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Fletch just inadvertently did a Borat impression by calling me Van. Van. YouM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fletch just inadvertently

did a Borat impression by calling me Van. Van. You got the results, Van. Very nice, Van. Very nice. This is my wife. I'm doing Austin Powers

next, Fletch. It was an accident to call you Van. Van. Van. Instagram. We asked on our Instagram where you stand on this

because Instagram apparently are now going to trial options for the public display of likes on photos. Now, end of 2019. So I found a story from July 18, 2019. Instagram users in New Zealand will no longer be able to see how many likes a post has under a trial. So we've been under trial for like nearly a year or two. So in the miracles. In the miracles.

In the miracles. Can they still see it? Yes, although some selected people wouldn't. Couldn't. Couldn't. Right. But you could always log on to the web Instagram and see people's likes if you wanted to be like You only got 14 likes

And if you're doing that Then you probably need to log off Go outside and smell some flowers I reckon it's been the best change Me too You don't have to worry about people seeing a post And it hasn't got many likes Not for myself

But just for other people hearing Because it never even occurred to me that some people put so much pressure on themselves and freak out about it. And it's just like, oh, no, no, no, you don't need to worry about that. And it might be easy to be like, oh, they're worrying about something dumb. But everybody's got their own worries, you know. They might think something you worry about is dumb. Especially people who are making a career around social media.

Like, that's such a stress. I way prefer it. Yeah, there's no, yeah, exactly. So, that's such a stress. I way prefer it. Yeah, there's no, yeah, exactly. So. There's no judgment. That was what we got. You could get the way around it. And someone actually replied to our question on Instagram

saying they've always been able to see likes and literally seen a screen cap of Kim Kardashian and it says how many likes. Oh, wow, okay. Which I didn't think. Maybe they're on a VPN or something. Yeah. I don't know.

But in New Zealand, I think the general rule was that they were trialing us as an area. Yeah. But now they are going to give you three options when it comes to like counts. Choose not to see likes on anyone's posts. Okay. Which is kind of where we're at at the moment. Yeah. Turning them off for your own posts.

So even if people did want to see how many likes everybody else was getting, you've turned them off so they can't see yours. Right. Or keeping the original experience where you can see everybody's, they can see yours. So is this like an opt-in thing or like a survey? No, apparently they're going to trial it as an option. So you go into, it'll be in general settings, I guess.

And you can, yeah. I'd just probably keep it as it is now. Yeah, so you don't see anybody's and no one sees yours. Yeah. I don't care. Like, the content is what I care about when I'm going through. I want to be like, that's a cool photo or what an interesting story. Yeah. Not how many likes does it have. That doesn't influence how much I

like the post. But I guess I'm just unique like that. You know what I mean? I'm not like swayed by social media. You're just so carefree, babe. I'm just like a woman of my own thoughts. So we said,

would you like to turn the Instagram likes back on on Instagram? 84% of people that replied said no. That's huge, eh? Keep it gone. That's a vast majority.

Now I just feel like I'm on Instagram at work just having a look. That's always been majority. Now I just feel like I'm on Instagram at work, just having a look. That's always been the good thing about this job. What's Kimber up to? You can be on social media and you can just be like, oh, no, it's for work. It's for work, but you're just having a nosy. If Instagram are going to fix anything, it's getting rid of the shopping button. I don't feel we ever talked enough about the fact that they were like,

we're going to hide the interactions. Like when someone comments on your post and it's under that little heart and you're trying to see who commented, where they commented so you can like do the nice thing and reply. And they replaced it with a shopping button. Yeah, because I want to make some money. Is it curated

shopping? Like do they look at the kind of things that you look at and curate it? I only ever press it by accident. There's a lot of very kind of, oh no, that makes sense. Oh, that's targeted, is it? A lot of real frilly, puffy dresses. Right. Yeah, one for

Yeezys for me? Get real. Yeah. Get real. If I wanted to look like a spaceman, I gotta look sharp. Stupid Yeezys. You know that, like, a lot of people love Yeezys, right? Yeah, a lot of people are dumb. Silly old dum-dums.

I think they're the ugliest hockey shoes around. They are gross. Fleshfawn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Friday Flashback. It is time for Friday Flashback. Now, this song was a number one song here in New Zealand in 2011, which is when this song is now 10 years old.

I think this will shock people that it is 10 years old. Now, this was number one in a lot of countries around the world. It was not the biggest song of the year in New Zealand. And I was absolutely surprised by that. So I have looked at the New Zealand chart in 2011 and the biggest songs. This song was the fourth biggest song in the country. It was beaten out by Gautier and Kimbra with Somebody That I Used To Know. It was beaten out by Maroon 5, Moves Like Jagger.

Another huge band. And it was beaten out by the biggest song of the year, LMFAO Party Rock Anthem. So this was behind them, the fourth biggest song of the year. Number one in many, many countries. She performed here a few years ago

and at the time, I think performed to like 130,000 people over three days. Performed at pouring down, Ryan. Yes. And people want a new album from her immediately. Go for it. It's overdue. It is overdue.

What would she have to call it now? Well, she named it. How old she is. Yes. 30-ish. Ade Yes. 30-ish. 30-ish. Adele, 30-ish. After May 5th this year, it'll be called 33. Right.

She performed this, I remember she performed this at the Brit Awards, and she does an incredible performance of this, and at the end, like, she cries because, like, her own song is making her that sad. So it's not a dance club banger today for Friday Flashback, but it is absolutely a sing-along today. It is 10 years old. Oh, it's going already.

And it's Adele, Someone Like You, your Friday Flashback on ZM. Here we go. Give it to me. Give it to me. Give it to me. I heard that you're settled down. That you found a girl and you're married now. I heard that your dreams came true. Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you. Oh, friend, why are you so shy?

Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light. Thank you. Never mind, I'll find someone like you I wish nothing but the best for you too Don't forget me, I beg, I'll remember you say Sometimes it lasts in love But sometimes it hurts instead Nothing compares No worries or cares Regrets and mistakes They're memories made

Who would have known How bittersweet This would taste. Never mind. I'll find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best for you. Don't forget me. I beg.

I'll remember how you say Sometimes it lasts in love But sometimes it hurts instead Never mind, I'll find someone like you I wish nothing but the best for you too Don't forget me, I think I'll remember you say Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead It's Adele, Someone Like You, your Friday flashback.

That song is 10 years old now. That was cathartic. A lot of singing in studio. I heard my fingers pretending to play the piano. I was hitting the desk too hard. When in 2011 did that come out? I think it was the crying season. It kicked off the first weekend of the crying season.

It was released on the 24th of January 2011. Wow. of the crying scene? It was released on the 24th of January, 2011. Oh, wow. Because I remember listening to this after I'd had a brief relationship with a man. Why did that end? I can't even remember. It's all a blur.

Right. Did you cry though? Was that your last relationship before your current relationship? Oh, yeah, one of them. Mastermind. Something close. Yeah, one of them.

Because in two weeks time, me and Aaron are 10 years. Right. And I've just remembered that's 10 years old. And I healed myself with this song. That healed.

It healed you. It healed many people. And then I opened my heart again after this song and I met the man of my dreams. Some feedback. Fletch, I'm not nearly drunk enough for this, but now I want to be.

That's good, isn't it? That's good feedback. Yeah, good fun. That's good. Great choice. Lots of people are just like, there's no way this song's 10 years old. I know.

Isn't that shocking? There's just no way this song's 10 years old. Someone said, I work in an indoor fireplace factory. And when this song came on, I got the chills and I was crying in the club. Right. So they were crying in the club. Now they work in an indoor fire factory.

Yeah, right. Or then they worked in an indoor fireplace factory. Either way, I'm fascinated by this indoor fireplace factory. Do they do those fireplaces? I always see them on Instagram and they just hang from the, they come out and they're like a bulb and they just hang in the middle of the room. They look so cool. Can you put those in apartments?

No. Oh. I don't think a fun place in an apartment is a good idea. Damn it. They look so cool. What, just pipe it out your window? Yeah. Yeah, have them float out the window.

Wild. It'd be wild. It's only legal if the council catches you. Yeah, good call. Just take it out before you leave or sell the place. Somebody, a few people saying they didn't need it this morning. They're a little emotional. Oh, really?

A little tired. But I think it's good to lean into that. Yeah, flush out the emotion and then just move on with the rest of the day. I think it's really good for us to get all emotions out at the end of a week, not just the happy ones, not just your party vibes. Just a purge. Just a purge of emotions. Well, there you go

So we'd say Yeah I'd say success A bit different to the usual But a success Absolutely Speaking of Wild romances That are quite upsetting

A woman In America Has Been Put in jail For one of her relationships She was a As they're calling her The the flirty prison officer.

Okay. She worked at a prison and she had a relationship with a convicted robber. Robber. Yeah, I know, sexy. I'm kind of down with this. He smuggled all this stuff and blah, blah, blah. Anyway, so she started a relationship with him. Yeah.

Obviously very secret because that is a big no-no. So is that actually a crime Obviously the smuggling stuff Into prison is So she Yeah she was doing all sorts Bringing him in phones And SIM cards

And Right All sorts Cakes Yeah Cakes Anything she could fit If I was in prison

That's what I'd want Like Some sweet treats Yeah just lollies Because I wouldn't imagine You'd get most of those Same Some fizzy coke bottles Yeah That's what I'd want. Some sweet treats. Yeah, just lollies because I wouldn't imagine you'd get most of those. Same, some fizzy Coke bottles. Yeah.

That's what I'd go for. Smuggle me in some fizzy Coke bottles. Anyway, the way that this relationship was discovered is very funny. She had his cell number tattooed on her inner thigh and someone saw it and went, why have you got that cell number?

Like, not his cell phone number, his prison cell number. Oh, right, because I thought if she's bringing him a new SIM card every week for his burn-a-phone. What is it now, 022? So she had his cell number. Wow. Yeah. And so now she's in prison.

She's in prison. Are they still together? It's a short sentence. I'm not actually sure if they're still together. She had all sorts of visits with him, having a little sexy time in the night, you know, hopping in the cell and hopping in the bunk.

If you were single and you were a corrections officer and there was a hot prisoner... Don't ask me this moral conundrum. Like, really hot. It's Jason Memore in prison. Yeah, yeah, okay, so you're guarding Jason Memore. What's he in for? He you're guarding Jason Momoa What's he in for? He's pumping iron Yeah what's he in for?

Something hot See I imagine he's in For an act of revenge Someone wronged him And rightfully so But he fell on the wrong Side of the law That's sexy

I say this is in America This is in York Not New York York In York In the UK Oh yuck They'll be yuck then

Why? Oh it'll be likeuck then. Why? Oh, they'll be like, all right, love. Wow. Okay. I'm in for being yuck. That is so interesting. I'm just reading about this little sexy affair they had. She had to sneak in there and bring them all sorts of treats.

Must have been going on for a while. Going on for a while. And then she had an appointment at the prison nurses, you know, with the nurse. Yeah. They noticed it. And then that nurse was like, hey, she has this. This is wrong. Yeah, right., with the nurse. Yeah. They noticed it and then that nurse was like, hey, she has this.

This is wrong. Yeah, right. And then it was all revealed. So we wanted to ask you guys listening, if you've ever had a relationship that you've had to keep secret. Like a secret relationship. A little secret relationship.

Maybe it was, you know, something you had to keep secret because of the choice of the person. Like, you know, it was your brother's ex-girlfriend and you were now dating them. Or maybe you had a relationship secret because of the choice of the person? Like, you know, it was your brother's ex-girlfriend and you were now dating them. Or maybe you had a relationship with an inmate. Come on.

Own up. Own up. Yeah, or maybe someone at work and work was against relationships so you had to have a secret one. I want the juice. I want the gossy gossip. Or you were a doctor and it was one of your patients. You had to keep it a secret.

Oh, no, that's a violation. Oh, you're not allowed to do that, eh? I don't think so. But what if you were like... Unless you're hot. No, but then you could give them to their other doctor at the practice. Is that a thing? Or can you just say you're cured now and then go get a new doctor and let's date?

Is that allowed? I guess you could. All right, well, if you've ever had a secret relationship... I mean, if the doctor's seen you naked and they're still like, this is good. That's high praise. Oh, no. Yeah, fair call.

That's it all, you know. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A prison guard in the UK has been caught having an affair and smuggling and stuff for a prisoner. For a prisoner. And she has now been convicted and is in jail herself, so maybe that's going to be easy for their relationship to flourish. And as many people have pointed out, that's exactly the same as...

The Joker and Harley Quinn. Right. Which is right. Dr. Harleen Quinzel. Was that her name, Jared? I'll just check with my fellow nerd. Dr. Harleen Quinzel. Harleen Quinzel was her name?

Yeah. And then the Joker, she was his, yeah. I'm just stoked you brought up a comic book reference and then I got to back it up with some. I'm hot for it. I'm hot for it. I immediately regretted it. We should talk about Batman and Catwoman.

Now that's a relationship that's complicated. So we want to know about your secret relationships. When you've had a secret relationship. And there is some juice. Tell me there's some juice coming through. It's like, you know, when you cut open a steak and then a little bit of that jus. There's some jus. Oh, yeah.

This is a big juicy steak of information. Or like a juicy mandarin. I'll start with that. Like you bite it and it squirts in the eye. And you're like, how did a mandarin in my mouth squirt in my eye? Wind. Never eat a mandarin into a prevailing wind. Oh, you'd be a fool

to. Or upside down. Don't eat a mandarin when you're hanging upside down. My friend is an RA at uni. A position of power. Yeah, so they're in charge of the halls of residence, right? Yeah, they live in the halls of residence, but they are like a residential advisor.

Yeah, that's what it stands for. They were such a punish in their year at the halls, no one wanted to move into a flat with them. So they were given this role. She has a special relationship with another RA. They put everybody to bed and then sneak into each other's rooms and it is not allowed.

Rumpy pumpy. How are they put everybody to bed? It's not children, it's uni students. They're not going to do what they're told. They're in there trying to read a book to a uni student. Alright, Timmy, come on, it's bedtime. Timmy's like, but I miss my mummy! Timmy, I'm turning the goddamn light off! I've got some schnookie to get up to.

And you are keeping me from my precious cuddles. Somebody else said it wasn't me, and it wasn't them, they weren't playing the shaggy defence. They said my cousin worked at a prison and had a relationship with an inmate. It was in the papers when it all came out and it

is absolutely the family's shame. Oh no. I can see though how it would happen. If they were cute. If you've got a guard who's a charmer no, if you've got a prisoner who's a charmer and a guard is there, that's their only point

of contact. I can absolutely see how they'd flirt the pants off you. Totally right. They'd spoil you with the attention. If you're working long hours. There's something about it. There's something about the bad boys. You just open up the little flap in the door and say, Hey.

Hey. How are you? What are you doing later? Probably still in the cell. Microwave macaroni. I was going to get another prison tattoo on my face, but if you want to take me to the cafeteria for a warm water, that would be lovely.

Yeah, lots of people with secret relationships. I was an office girl at work and I started seeing the boss. Obviously didn't do too well keeping it secret because everybody eventually found out and last year we got married. Oh, wow. That's when it starts being secret. It's a bit of Bridget Jones, you know, Hugh Grant,

Renee Zellweger. Bit of the... What was that noise? That's my Hugh Grant noise. Oh, he does get a bit like that, doesn't he? Oh, wait, was that for Hugh Grant? No, no, no.

Hugh Grant is my thirsty boy. Oh. So I like my Jason Momoa's and then just the dash of Hugh Grant on the side. Just a bit of Hugh Grant. Huh. What was that show he was in with Nicole Kidman last year?

Oh, The Undoing. Did you watch The Undoing? Yes, I did. You would have liked that. Keep going with these stories while I sit with my Hugh Grant fantasy. I dated my boyfriend for eight years. It was all a secret from all of his friends. They thought he was living his best single life.

Why did he keep you a secret? Why did he keep you a secret? That relationship is now a thing of his friends. They thought he was loving his best, living his best single life. Why did he keep you a secret? Why did he keep you a secret? That relationship is now a thing of the past. Yeah, I was going to say. Oh yeah, it sounds like you were dating a douchebag. Yeah. Did that person answer that we tried calling? Re, the news reporter?

Okay. Do you think we read it? It's quite spicy. Get in. You've now used it. It's anonymous. You can't not read it. I'm a news reporter and my boyfriend is a cop.

There was some shady stuff going on within the police force a couple of years ago and he basically became a secret informant so I could break the stories. But we had to keep our relationship secret until things cooled down so we couldn't be linked with one another. Juicy. News reporter. Let's go through who we know. Samantha Hayes, I'm calling you out.

This is Wendy Petrie written all over it. My wife had her nails done beside Wendy Petrie yesterday. I said, did you say hello? And she said, no, of course I didn't. I was like, well, you should have. She's one of the loveliest people. She is so lovely. She's the loveliest.

That's the end of that story. Yeah. I got no more. Yeah. Somebody else said, I broke up with my ex, but we lived and worked on a farm as business partners together for more than six months. I had been seeing somebody else, but I had to keep that super quiet.

But then if you're living with someone who was your ex, who you're trying to keep a secret from, a very daring relationship. A couple of years ago, I worked as a residential assistant as a hall in Christchurch for first year uni students. Now, entertain yourselves. I'm just going to read ahead. Okay. You know, you get to a certain point

in some text messages and you're like, I haven't read this one. This is, I'm reading this. I'm reading it out loud as the first time I've read it. Uh-oh. Yeah, so.

I just want the raw read and as you hit the word that you might not want to say, then stop. We'll just turn your mic off. Yeah, yeah. Okay, you read ahead. I think it not want to say, then stop. We'll just tell you, Michael. Yeah, yeah. I think it's okay to go on. So this is a web.

Okay. This is a web of residential assistance. Okay. It says, RAs. A couple of years ago, I worked as an RA at a hall in Christchurch for first-year uni students. One year, the head RA was dating a student on his floor. The RA who ratted him out then started dating a student on their floor

two days after he ratted him out. Then a third RA, so there was like three students during the year. The RAs were all dudes that obviously

couldn't keep it in their pants. Jeepers, creepers. What if I rat out the other RA and then commit the same crime? Yeah.

You can't rat someone out if you plan to commit the crime. Unless that was their cover. To draw attention away from them. Their crime. Yeah.

This sounds like a Netflix six-part series. Sometimes. The RE. The RE. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The Podcast. ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

I didn't take a breath before that. It got quite dizzy about halfway. Today's fact of the day is about why footage is called footage. You know when you get footage of something? Oh, yeah. Oh, I've never thought of that. Why? Oh, is it something to do with foots and foots of film?

Lots of length of film? Nailed it. The original term, the origin of the term footage is that early 35mm... Why are you angry at her? I'm not angry. She was saying you beat her.

She was trying to guess it and I got it first. And you so didn't got it. That was very competitive. It was straight in there. I'm like, suck it you so didn't got it. That was very competitive. It was straight in there. I'm like, suck it, bro. I won. This isn't the chase.

No, you're not the beast taunting the... When I yell out a chase answer in the kitchen when I'm doing dinner, oh. Did you see the chase last night? Nah. They destroyed the chaser. Did they? They ruined him. It was the destroyer.

Yeah, right. He was obliterated. I hate it when it's close, and I'm like, just let them have it. They was the destroyer. Yeah, right. He was obliterated. I hate it when it's close. And I'm like, just let them have it. They've worked so hard. You know, there's like 10 seconds, you know, three seconds to go and they just get it. Boom.

But then also that, I wonder if the, I'd love to know if the chaser, the person playing, gets a bonus every time they stop anybody from taking any money home. Because it's a budget thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe. I love it when there's one person left and they only get five. I know.

And then Anne comes out. And then the whole world has to see you're dumb. And then what's his name? Bradley Walsh. Bradley is like, we're going to need some pushbacks. Like, yeah. I think you're going to need about 19 pushbacks. I want Chase to know this isn't going to.

But apparently the worst one ever, right, was like the Belgian version of the chase or the Polish version of the chase. And the person only got five and the chase lost. Really? It's like the record for the worst ever chase. Oh, wow. Anyway, we're not here to talk about the chase,

although we could because we all love it. And it's a great TV show because we all think we could do better and then put you in front of a live studio audience with that sort of pressure on, and your brain just goes, Yeah. Okay, so the origin of the term footage was that early 35mm silent film was measured in feet and frames. And so there were 16 frames in a foot.

Okay. So when you were getting some footage, you were literally burning through footage of film. And that wouldn't even be a second. Because how many frames a second? Like 30 odd? One second of screen time would be about one foot. So there were only 16 frames per second.

Oh, so it was quite a slow footage. Yeah, it would have been a slow. So you're burning through it. I always think about frames when I think of stop animation. Oh, yeah. And you watch something like... Wallace and Gromit. Wallace and Gromit. Chicken Run. And you watch one scene and they're like, yeah, that took six months.

Yeah, that's why... What? That's why Pingu episodes are only five minutes. Five flawless minutes. I've never thought of that Pingu being stop motion. Yeah. It is. And that's why the episodes are only like five minutes. Oh my god. I just wanted you to do your Pingu. Yeah. It is. And that's why the episodes are only like five minutes. Oh my God. I just wanted you to do your Pingu. I'll do it.

He's, that's, I'll do it, disappointed Pingu. Yeah. A happy Pingu is more of a, and then his dad's like, and then the mum's like,

and the little kid's like... This is the hardest because it's the high-pitched one. Yeah. And then the seal's like... I'm pretty sure it's just one person doing all the voices in Pingu. Yeah. Imagine that day, though, as an actor going in and being like, all right, brrring, brrring, mini-mini-ma.

Who are we doing first? First up, Pingu. You rolling? What's he doing? Yeah, what's the sort of tone? Is he happy? Is he sad? He's taking a whittle on the floor, is he?

All right. Classic Pingu. Okay, here we go. I said you're having a nip-sip-boosie, and I'm afraid you're not, Mary. Yeah, that's a bye. We'll grab that. We've got that one. Okay.

That's a wrap. The dad's angry about the wee on the floor. Yeah. Okay. He's angry, but then he gets a big fright at the end. Okay, beat me in. Beep. Beep.

Beep. Sorry, I'm going'm letting it go again. I'm still in the mindset of Pingu. We've got one more take. We've got to go quite quickly on this one. I'm good for it. Beep. Beep. Beep. Okay, you're done. Are you done here? Yeah, we can move on now.

Okay. So today's fact of the day is footage is called footage because it was literally how many, stop pulling the fingers at Hayley, please, how many foot of film you would use to get that footage. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast We're going to talk pimples

Yes I've been working with one all week I've decided to let her breathe today Because I did give her a good old squeeze It's healing, it's dark red now. Yeah, it's that. Did it ever head though? No, I forced it out.

Oh, right. That is very wrong. That's the bad. That's a nought nought. But in all honesty, I always get a little anxious with pimples because I had quite full on acne

for a long time. I went on the isotretinoin, Accutane or whatever you would call it these days. Yep. So whenever I get a pimple, I'm always like, she's back.

You're just waiting for the floodgates to open. You go back to the teenage years. Yeah. Oh no, I got it in my adulthood. It was a real nightmare. Anyway,

that's a story for a different day. But a study is looking into how many pimples we pop in a lifetime. This is looking particularly at women. Okay.

I imagine the stats are similar with men. How many do you reckon you'll pop in a lifetime? Oh, no. Because even as an adult, like, I'll still get the old one. Yeah, even now, even in the lift work, it's a very well-lit, hugely mirrored wall.

You might catch a couple of pimples in there that you haven't seen in other lives. Yeah, and there's no security camera there, so you can really have a squeeze. Yeah, really get in there. And a pick of your nose, yeah. So, women pop around... In their lifetime.

These numbers seem so high to me. Okay. Women pop around 65 pimples a year, which equates to 4,153 zits in the average woman's lifetime from teenagehood. So how many a year again was that? 65.

A year? You're doing a couple a week. I would have thought, I would have thought more. I would have thought more too. Are we talking like little, little sniggly little ones that you see on the nose

or just like a little thing? I'm not talking a big Mount Vesuvius white-headed bad boy. That's what this guy was. And he got absolutely obliterated by my fingers. But yeah, so around the 4,000 mark. And they're saying that that number is likely to increase now with the pandemic because, of course, people are having lots of skin issues with masks.

And just eating terribly as well. Probably. It's all contributing to an increase in acne around the world. That's 5.61. Every 5.61 days, you'll squeeze a pimple. You're squeezing a pimple. Oh, yeah. You reckon that's right? Yeah.

I thought it would have been more. I don't know. If you've been on Accutane like I have, your skin is like a barren wasteland. Yeah, right. It's like a dried piece of cracked sheet. Like the desert road. Like the desert road. So you don't get many anymore. Explain why you've got a bit of a tussock. Yeah. You've got an army soldier on your cheek. Yeah, absolutely.

But they're saying... And a broken down trucker. Yeah, it was just like it's just late to the party. It was like, hey, where will my friends go? And a Kaimānawa horse. I wasn't going to bring up the Kaimanawa horse. That's always a hard one to hear. You dear. Don't even get me started.

And a very skilled helicopter pilot mustering the Kaimanawa horses. Well, in the same survey, they looked at how people are popping them. Yeah. Oh, go on. Fingers all the way. I love the fingers. So most people are getting their mingy fingers in there. I meant to say mangy.

Grimmy. Well, sometimes they're mingy, sometimes they're mangy. Sometimes they're mangy. Mungy. All the vowels. All the vowels. Manky fingers in there and they're getting their fingernails, their dirty fingernails and they're getting in there.

It's the best way. Sometimes I might use a really fine needle to pop a deep one. Do you heat up the needle first? No. Quarterize the needle. I don't have a hygiene cleaner. Wow. Dip it in there.

But Sade's got one of those Dr. Pimple Popper machines. So I just, I just. What are they called? The Dr. Pimple Popper toolbox is $27.82 plus tax. That's US. But then in, you know how Google brings up the top results. Kmart do a $6 BME2 blackhead tool. And that looks pretty cool.

Looks like something the dentist used to poke you, get in your teeth. Yeah. But it's just got a loop at the end and you pop it on the pimple. Yeah, yeah, that's what we'll go. You can go to, I mean, we all know the pimple popper lady that went crazy on the internet. But I had other friends that were going on their own acne journeys. And they would go to sort of fortnightly appointments at dermatologists and have them professionally popped. We've got whiteheads to have them, what's the word?

Like cleanly and... Sterilised equipment. Hygienically, yeah, yeah. Hygienically deal with the pressure of the skin while they were dealing with their acne. What if you just pump it yourself and dab some Listerine on it? Do not listen to this man. Hey, pay all that money for a dermatologist.

Wait, have you done that? No. That sounds legit to me. Well, it's antiseptic, right? Oh, my God. That sounds legit to me. No. There's a death hole on there.

58% of people in this survey have scarring from pimples they've popped irresponsibly. Right. Okay, so don't do that. If you want to pay the ultimate price and have scarring, go ahead and listen to Fletch with his Listerine pimple popping tip. Otherwise, you know, try to keep your hands off your face. Well, that's what they say is don't

pop them because then you get scarring. But it's so hard because they're so wide and juicy. And they're so full of juice. And it's so satisfying. Especially a nice blackhead. See who hits the mirror. Oh, yeah.