ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 16th December 2021

Episode Date: December 15, 2021

1/3 People...  Gifts for your Landlord?  We've been using an Emoji wrong...  Top 6: Superhero Injuries  NCEA Attendance  12 Days of Fletchmas!  Are you the youngest?  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to McCafe. Great barista made coffee on the go. You may remember yesterday we spoke about the UFO little miniature houses. Yeah, miniature UFO futuro pod or futuro house.

It's shaped like a UFO. New Zealand loved these things. Yeah. And we've still got more. Definitely most per capita, but it almost feels like we've got more here in New Zealand. We're like a little UFO on stilts. Yeah. Originally designed as a transportable ski chalet by Mati Suronen, a Finnish architect in 1968.

You were so happy yesterday. Just the joy on your little stupid face. It's my stupid little face. Your stupid little face. Absolutely fizzed on fiberglass reinforced polyester plastic, polyester polyurethane, and polymethanol. And you skipped all the way home. And you ran up the driveway.

I forgot my car. I skipped back to work and grab the car. And you ran up your driveway and you said, Sade, Sade, my lovely wife. I want a UFO. And what did she say? The fuck are you talking about? And I said, a Futuro.

And she said, what? Again, what are you talking about? And I said, remember in Raglan there used to be that UFO house? And she said, absolutely not. What are you talking about? And I said, I've got a new friend and he collects them and she's like oh my god and um so basically my expensive flash in the pan ideas never happen hers get turned into bathroom renovations so yeah but the best the good part was her mum popped up because

borders of opium and robin for ages, but Robin loves a harebrained scheme. Huge fan of a harebrained scheme. Yeah, she does. And so she was there when I was talking about the UFOs, and she said, that would actually be really, you could put it in the paddock there. People would stay in that. Oh, my gosh, people would stay in the Airbnb. Imagine how stoked they'd be.

They'd come down the stairs, and there's your woolly cows. Yeah, they would. They'd love it. I know. I was like, I think we've got a business idea. UFO homestays and petting zoos. Yes. Silly idea, but I'm all for it.

Until you have to deal with people. Anyone that runs an Airbnb. I'm not dealing with people. Oh, no, no, no. It's a loophole. It's a tax loophole. No one ever stays. No one ever stays.

Oh, right. You just want to sleep out. The tax breaks of owning accommodation. Right. Yeah, without the hassle of having to deal with people or that pesky income. Yeah, right. You just want to sleep out. The tax breaks of owning accommodation. Right. Yeah, without the hassle of having to deal with people or that pesky income. Yeah, right. Or I might take money out of my personal account

and put it into that account and say someone stayed in there. Right. I think what you're describing now is tax evasion. Yeah, but I've got a UFO, so fucking good luck catching me. You can just take off back to Mars Hello, good morning Welcome to the show Fletch Vaughan and Megan Four minutes past six

Good morning It's today's 16th Oh, happy birthday, Aunty Sylvia Aunty Sylvia's 16th of December I always, as a kid, thought it was unfair How close to Christmas her birthday was But you know I always as a kid thought it was unfair how close to Christmas her birthday was but you know

when you're a kid you kind of yeah that's a big thing you think about like I don't want to bum any kids out that are listening

that are like you know it's their birthday it's their birthday but it is that time of year when everybody's got everything else on their mind except your birthday

yeah so these weeks before Christmas will be the worst. Oh, yeah. But then, do you know people that are born on Christmas Day? David Fowrie is born on Christmas Day.

Is he? James? Our friend James. Yeah, James is Christmas. I knew that, I knew that. Lee, a lady we know, we both know Lee. Yeah.

She's born on Christmas Day. Every time on Christmas you go on Facebook and people are like, oh, happy birthday. I'm always just like, man, what a day. Yeah. like, man, what a day. Yeah.

What a day, what a day. Anyway, what are you going to do about it? Change your birthday? Don't be bloody stupid. Coming up on the show, the top six. The top six injuries that superheroes will have to deal with in their old age. Somebody's conducted a study into fictitious superheroes and the injuries that they would face in adult life.

And yeah, the things they would do. Much like professional sportsmen, you know, with the brain traumas and the... Knees. Yeah, bung backs. The joints gone. Yeah. And they're like 49 and they're like, why did I do this? But they were in their, you know,

brand new JJ Gardner home that they got for being on the ads. So, you know, maybe it was worth it. Ups and downs. Maybe it wasn't worth it. For sure. Coming up on the show as well, your chance to win all thanks to

McCafe with our Christmas balls on the tree. We're going to play an activator before seven. If you get through, you get to pick one of the balls. We'll give you a month's worth of McCafe coffee, plus we've got a whole lot of prizes on the tree,

so your chance to win. Coming up next on the show. How many people don't like their boss? There's been a study done. And... Do you like your boss, Ross? Do you like Ross? Is he our boss?

I would have considered myself Slightly higher on the pick and order I was going to say I'm a big fan of my boss I am the boss Are you considering yourself the boss? Sade's my boss In this situation?

Sade's my boss Right, okay Yeah Yeah But if it's Ross Let me have this song to think about Alright And this is an Australian study

and I always think, well, we're close enough. Yeah. Unless they want something that we own. And then get your hands off. Get your hands off.

Dirty Aussies. Get your mitts off it. The workplace data has revealed one third of all Aussie workers dislike their bosses. Oh, okay.

Yeah. Top reasons for people not liking their managers. Okay. Lack okay. Yeah. Top reasons for people not liking their managers. Okay. Lack of emotional intelligence. So they're a bit robotic, they need a hug. Right. Or are they quite cold and dismissive

maybe. Yep. Because they don't care. But also they can't give you a big hug. Well, not anymore, no. Not like the good old days where you could tell Janice she was doing a great job by grabbing her ass at the printer. Whack! Good job, Janice.

Yeah. No, that's probably for the best, actually, looking at it from that. Looking at it from Janice's point of view there, she would never have liked that. No, no. She didn't like being treated like that. She could have been financially remunerated to be told she was doing a good job or maybe professionally approached. Ineffective communication is another reason.

Micromanaging. Oh, that's the worst. Micromanaging. Thankfully, our boss is too lazy to micromanage. He just lets it happen. He won't be awake. He won't be awake. He's definitely not awake at this time, no.

A lack of willingness to adapt or work flexibly, He won't be awake. He won't be awake. He's definitely not awake at this time, no. A lack of willingness to adapt or work flexibly, which I would say over the last year would have been a big thing for a lot of people. Yeah, and it's been forced on people. Yeah. But then how, you know, willing and able your boss was to adapt to that. Yeah. And that's, I suppose, micromanaging over the last year would have really, like, you know, you heard about those places that had to leave their screen share open.

I know, yeah. So that their workplace could see that their mouse was moving or they were doing work. I had a friend that would be like, I've just got to log on every now and again and just move the mouse. So that they think they're working from home. I mean, I would just say if the work wasn't getting done at the end of the first week of working from home, you'd be like, hey, how are you? Yeah. Hey. If the work's getting done, who cares?

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. The boss also doesn't actively listen. Oh, yeah. And a lack of empathy for anything involved in their life outside of work. Oh. So, like, being understanding of personal situations, I guess. Right.

Okay. That's the main reason they didn't like it. It's still pretty good that two-thirds like their boss. That's pretty good. Yeah. I thought it might have been higher. Well, 74% of Gen Z and millennials said they don't like their boss. So when you break it down a little bit more.

Right, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. While a Queensland real estate agency is under fire, they emailed all their tenants. Okay.

So it's one of those real estate agents that does the, all the, you know, Management, property management. Yeah, but they also do the property management. And they never, property managers never have a good rep, do they? Famously, no. Famously, no.

I wouldn't say on either side of the fence, right? This agency emailed out everybody who was renting that they'd signed up and offered a various array of options, gifts that you could buy your landlord for Christmas with the most expensive being $115. What sort of things was on the list? Some kind of satin robe and sparkling wine package there. That was the luxury gift hamper containing, yeah,

satin robe, sparkling wine, an eye mask, aroma diffuser, bath salts, and a range of food and sweets, which for $115 sounds quite cheap. Why? That's presumptuous to think a landlord would want that. Like, imagine getting that. If anybody got you that, I'd be like, you shouldn't have spent this money.

That's not what people are jumping on here, Vaughan. It's the fact that, like, basically, these people are paying these landlords rent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And mortgages. Because I've heard it the other way around. Yeah, it should be the landlords buying the tenants something. Yeah.

To say thanks for... Get a little summer summon. Thanks for being a good tenant and paying the rent. There were other options, a $55 self-care hamper. Yeah, all kinds of hampers going up to $100. And yeah, everyone is just like, hang on a sec here.

Right. This just seems a bit backwards. To be buying your landlord a present. The agency in Queensland where this happened, Logan, the average weekly rent has increased 30% in the last five years. Whoa. And the vacancy rate is 1%. So people are just like, time your jets.

Okay. Yeah. So we're not getting landlords presents? No, we're not getting landlord's presents? No. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Did you ever get your landlord a present? Nah, we never saw her. I think I saw her one flat we lived in for like five years,

and we saw her once. That's a perfect landlord. Yeah. Yeah. She didn't expect anything except the rent. But then when you had all those leaks, they never came. The fixing took a long time. Yeah, but then it was her

house that had a massive crack in it because the shower was leaking inside the wall and we told them. You did tell them. We told them I said that crack's getting bigger and then I rang back two weeks later I said that crack is definitely getting bigger. Yeah. That house still stands. Still. Every now and then I drive past and I'm like how are you still standing?

With the big crack and the big leak But there it is 621 How smart are you compared to a rocket scientist Rocket scientist A rocket scientist A rocket scientist and a brain surgeon I'd say not even remotely in the same area

Stay tuned, you may be surprised CDM's Fletchborn and Megan Are rocket scientists and brain surgeons, neurosurgeons Are considered very intelligent people Well, what's that saying? Go, you don't need to be a rocket scientist It's not rocket science It's not rocket science

It's not brain surgery Yeah It's not rocket surgery Which is also a thing, but they just probably call it engineering Yeah Rather than surgery. Well, a study in London put 18,257 people. That's a big sample size. I know.

Against 329 aerospace engineers and 72 neurosurgeons. Okay. In a online exam that measured six different fields of cognitive ability. Things you can do with your brain. Spanning, planning and reasoning, working memory, attention and emotion processing abilities. Okay. Rocket scientists displayed the same levels of intelligence but different in two specific areas. Aerospace engineers displayed better mental manipulation skills.

And neurosurgeons had better semantic problem-solving skills. Apparently, the main difference between them and you is that they could stick at something, you dummy. That they weren't just like, I'm bored. They applied themselves. But there's really no difference. Is that what the study says? Not in my base sort of intelligence.

I don't know what's in this exam. But obviously in their field, obviously what's in their field, we wouldn't even come close. They focused on, they focused in on something. And then. Applied themselves. Yeah, spent years learning it. Weren't easily distracted.

Yeah. And then that's where they are. Right. But I think if you want, you can do the online exam. Oh, okay. How wise are you? I don't know if I need that today. Yeah.

Like I'm a bit foggy this time of year, you know, like a bit tired. Yeah, and then don't ask me in January because it's hot. And February's my birthday month. Yep. March this year, I believe I've got to be concentrating. If it's not Easter, I've got to start thinking about Easter. And then April is Easter and it's a day. And then it's getting too cold to be doing a test.

It gets cold. June, Matariki. July, school holidays, so I can't concentrate on that. You might take some time off in August. Well, August I'll probably have some time off, so I don't want to weigh myself down with that. September, spring's rolled around, so I'll be busy in the vegetable

garden getting that prepped. Yeah. Maybe, oh and I can't do October because you know me and Halloween. And Oktoberfest. Well all of the Oktoberfests I go to. Yeah. November I'm reluctant to promise anything that far away with fireworks being a possibility. Yeah I know you love your fireworks.

And then December it's Christmas. Oh it's too hot. So there's really no time to do this test is what I'm saying. I can't. I can't. No, sorry. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. There is a emoji that has been corrupted. Right.

Corrupted. And I put this blame squarely at the feet of you. Me. I like how you looked around to see who I was talking to. I am talking to you. I thought you were going to blame Carwin, the youngest youth here. No, I wouldn't blame Carwin. I doubt Carwin's ever used this emoji for this express purpose.

But I feel like also us talking about this is like when Seven Sharp do a thing like, do you know what your kids are talking about? Like, I feel like I didn't know about this. No. Did you know about this, Carwin? I didn't, and it's really ruined this emoji for me. Okay, so the emoji we're talking about is the... Puppy dog

eyes. Yeah, puppy dog eyes. That's the one I'd... That's how I would have described this emoji. I would use this if I'm trying to be cute in some things a little. You know, like, you use it when you're being cute, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%. I would get this. Sade would send this. My wife, Sade.

Hello to our new Coromandel listeners. I've got a wife and her name's Sade. Just reintroducing myself to the audience. Thank you for that, Vaughn. My pleasure, Fletch. Sade will send me this when she's like saying something like, Bertie, pick me up noodles on way home. And then she'll do the puppy dog face.

Well, apparently the puppy dog face now means begging for sex. Or noodles. Or ramen. And you had no idea about this, Karwaneen, on the social media desk. Is that what the trends, the daily trends? Yeah, I had no idea. You're fired. You're at the social media desk monitoring all things social media. Producer Jared,

did you know about this? Yeah, I use it every day. Really? Just like when the midi's like, I'm on my way home, you're like please. Please, midi. Please, midi, please. So I, um,

it's been called the simp emoji. Right. I've Googled what that means, and that's an internet slang describing someone who shows excessive sympathy and attention towards another person, usually done in pursuit of a sexual relationship. Right. So, yeah, it's like the biggie. Oh, that's ruined that for me now. Yeah. Because next you'll be saying that people are using the aubergine for something more than cooking.

What? What could they possibly be using it for? It's an aubergine for something more than cooking. What? What could they possibly be using it for? It's an aubergine. Aubergine? Eggplant. Eggplant. Eggplant, yeah. Eggplant.

What would that be used for? Because when I'm, sometimes I'll be cutting up a eggplant. And you know, traditionally a very dry fruit. But sometimes there might be moisture in there that squirts out. So I like to let my friends know that I'm cooking with a squirty eggplant by putting the eggplant and then the squirt. And then my face being like, surprise. No, surprise. Right.

Surprise. And then they will send me back the face of the please, please. But they're saying, please, can I have some of this delicious eggplant dish you're cooking? Is it, you know, traditionally a Mediterranean dish? I can't believe they've been so corrupted. Just on that though, seriously, grilled miso eggplant. Google a recipe for that. Delicious.

You're talking about your penis, aren't you? I'm actually talking about grilled miso eggplant with cheese and miso. What does the cheese mean in this penis reference? There's no... I don't trust you. What have you done to the eggplant? Why do you people always have to corrupt things? ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. It's all thanks to Met Cafe, our Christmas balls competition. Welcoming to the show this morning

Amy. Good morning, Amy. Good morning. And just like that, you've got a month's worth of McCafe coffee. Congratulations. Yay, awesome. And we'll let you choose one of our McCafe Christmas balls on the tree. Now we've got red, green, silver, gold. There's shiny ones.

There's sparkly ones. Sparkly ones. What colour do you want? Oh, I like a sparkle. Oh, okay. So we've got probably a gold, a gold sparkly. There's a red sparkle. A red sparkly.

Yeah, red sparkly sounds good. Red sparkly. Okay. I'll grab that. Got it. I'm just dropping it there for a little bit of sound effects. Yeah, good sound effects. So you can tell it's real.

Well, you've got to go closer to the mic if you're going to do that. Oh, I've dropped it. I'll just grab that and take the top off it. Great. Yeah, a month with McCaffey Coffee. As my colleague here, Fletch, said. Thank you, Vaughan. My pleasure, Fletch.

Just again, we're reiterating our names for our new Coromandel listeners. Yeah, just for the new listeners, Amy. Sorry, you're probably aware of what we sound like. We've been at this for a while. Yeah. People still can't tell the difference. You've won a $200 Mecca voucher. Yay!

Oh, thank you. Awesome. That's pretty cool. Congratulations. You ever been to Mecca? Yes, thank you. Awesome. That's pretty cool. Congratulations. You ever been to Mecca? Yes, I have. The religious place or the store? The religious place.

The big place. No, I haven't been to that, but I've been to the store. I was there the other day. My friend was looking for some kind of body lotion thing. I don't care if you've been there or not. I was asking Alcola. Oh, sorry, Amy. I'm trying to interact with Alcola here.

Okay, Amy. Amy, have you ever been there or not. I was asking Alcola. Oh, sorry, Amy. I'm trying to interact with Alcola here. Okay, Amy. Amy, have you ever been to the religious place, Mecca? No, not the religious place. Have you been to the makeup place, Mecca? Yes, the makeup place. Yes, okay. Was this voucher for the makeup place or the religious? Actually, it's for the religious place, Amy.

Ooh. Perfect. I mean, you've always wanted to go. I don't know if $200 is going to get you there. No, no, no. It's just going to be once you get there. Oh, once you get there. In the Mecca gift shop.

You can get a small black stone that looks like the big Mecca to take home. Oh, lovely. And some fridge magnets, I believe. Of course, of course. That'd be lovely. Congratulations, Amy. Well done. All thanks to McCafe.

Our Christmas balls competition. A chance again to win tomorrow. All thanks to McCafe. Next on the show, the top six. The top six injuries that superheroes would have. From the oily ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hi there. Australian researchers have looked into what ailments superheroes

would most likely suffer from in their older age yeah some prone to dementia life changing physical injuries disability because of their exposure to loud noises air pollution

and head injuries that's kind of covered if you've been watching Hawkeye on Disney Plus yeah he wears hearing aids Jeremy Renner's character Hawkeye now wears hearing aids

because of all like the explosions and stuff that he's seen throughout the Avengers franchise. That'll be me in a few years after all this loud Doja Cat. Well, yeah, you were deafened by Doja Cat, not Thanos. But, you know, Doja Cat, Thanos, much of a...

Well, you know, Doja Cat is my loud machinery and engineering factory. Yeah. Really, isn't it? She is. She is your jackhammer. Yeah, she really is, yeah. They used examples. The Incredible Hulk might have heart problems from carrying excess weight,

and their constant anger means he's at risk from chronic diseases. And heart attacks, surely. Yeah. Black Widow's traumatic childhood means she's more likely to become physically and mentally ill later in life. Yeah. Spider-Man, who is strong, flexible, and agile, you might be thinking, that's pretty good. However, his nightly crime fighting means he's unlikely to be getting eight to ten hours sleep, making him prone to mental health problems,

obesity, and unintentional injuries through mistakes. I like that these researchers have nothing better to do. I know. Like, come on. What the hell? So I've got the top six old people ailments, gripes, that superheroes would have. Number six on the list, the Hulk,

would just be the Hulk the whole time because he'd be so angry about the younger generations. Oh, he would be. And how they're not working as hard as his. God, you wouldn't want to get the tennis ball on their lawn. Oh. We had some neighbours as kids. They weren't even the Hulk and they were Hulkie.

Incredible Hulk. Yeah. Smash the fence down. Number five on the list of the top six old person gripes that superheroes would have. Batman, when he loses his license, he can't drive the Batmobile. He'll have to take his gold card to catch Buster Crimes. Or he's taking the Batmobile at like 30 Ks.

Yeah. Every now and then he hits the rumble lines. Number four on the list of the top six old people gripes that superheroes would have. Spider-Man would succumb to that auto fly sprayer thing that you have in the summer to take care of the flies. Imagine that. Because that'll get the spiders as well. People have been trying to take him down for all these years, but it was a fly mister that gets him. It was the Morteen.

Yeah. It was the Morteen squirter that got him in the end. Number three on the list of the top six old people gripes that superheroes would have. It was the Mortine. Yeah. It was the Mortine squirter that got him in the end. Number three on the list of the top six old people gripes that superheroes would have. Thor would forget where he put his hammer. You know how old mates are always putting down their tools and forgetting where they put them? Needs a little bungee cord on it. One of those curly.

It's got a little lasso loop on the end there. But he's got to put it down to do something and then he'll walk away from it and figure where he's put it. Number two on the list of the top six old people gripes that superheroes would have, Iron Man would rust. That's just what happens.

Yeah. That's just what happens. Especially when you retire by the sea. Oh, and you would. You would. You'd have extra

money. So salty. Number one on the list of the top six old people gripes that superheroes would have, Superman would have severe loneliness

because everyone he loves dies, but he lives for a much longer time. So he might be a Superman, but he's a super sad man too. Aww. That's today's top six. ZM's Fleshworn and Megan.

Clay ZM. Well, friggin' heck. The Kiwi Burger has been rested? Because I don't feel like this is the last we're going to see from the Kiwi Burger. Oh, absolutely not. No. It's a classic.

But the Kiwi Burger has been rested from the McDonald's menu. But it's like a rugby team. You've got to, you know, 60 minutes in, you take off. They're all tired, aren't they? So you've got to bring on a fresh one. Right, okay, who are you bringing on? Who are you bringing on? You're the coach of Team McDonald's.

Who are you bringing on? Oh, the McRib. Yes! The McRib is ready to do the heavy lifting. Yeah, and win us the game. The McRib is back. Win us the game in the last 20. Yeah.

Yeah. I remember the McRib in the 90s came out at the same time as a Flintstones movie. Yes, I remember that too. Yeah, and also the McRib in the 90s came out at the same time as a Flintstones movie. Yes, I remember that too. Yeah. And also they used it again at, was it the 1996 Atlanta Olympic Games? Oh, did they? The Atlanta McRib.

And they were like, it's Southern flavor. Right. Well, I... Hey, look, don't... I'm not finished with my McHistory. I feel like you were impressed with me remembering the Flintstones McRib, which might have been called the, like, Dino McBronto McRib or something. Right, okay.

But then you kind of, I feel like I didn't get much love for remembering the Atlantic. I got McDisinterested. How McDare you? Carl Wayne is particularly upset about this news because as a vegan, a vegetarian, as a vegan, a vegetarian, as a vegetarian, this was your go-to burger because you would minus the patty, the best part of it. Well, for some.

Yeah, for some. And then that would be the ultimate vego burger. Yeah, because they do, I don't know if they still do, but they did offer a salad burger, but the kiwi burger has like the beetroot and like just more in it. It's got an egg? Yeah. You can add an egg to anything

and it's delicious. Yeah. So it was like the perfect oh I need some McDonald's but I can't eat the burgers. Right. So it was like okay okay

a vegetarian friendly version. Well this hit the news yesterday that yeah it's been rested. My mum loved it because it had a beetroot in it. Mums love a beetroot don't they? M beetroot mums does she have a container in the fridge

with one of those yeah you put it up the juice stays in the bottom but you know when you lower it back in the beetroot doesn't get dried out what's happening you're getting emotional about your mum's beetroot getting emotional about your mum's beetroot. I don't know. Just felt like you were having a shot at my mum there when you said my mum's beetroot. I just had to return fire. But yeah, it's been rested. And the all-day breakfast.

Is that correct? The all-day breakfast. Yeah, there was talk about that. They tried that. Apparently the Kiwi Burger was first thought of and brought in in 1976. Yeah. And it's come in and out over the years.

It's not always been there. No. So I don't think you need to worry. I mean, unless it's your favourite. I mean, this would be me if they got rid of the Quarter Pounder. But they'd never do that because that's one of the top. It's the top tier. That's an absolute go-to.

But it got us talking about the food items or things that you miss. Yeah. Because, you know, when they get rid of a food item that you love and you have all the time, whether it's your favorite lolly or chocolate, it can be quite devastating. And you're like, why did you do this to me? Yeah. And you get really angry. Biscuits.

This happens all the time with people's favourite biscuits and lollies. They'll just continue a biscuit or they'll change it. Maybe we're taking change. Oh, like the grain waves.

We're taking change. Change grain waves. Someone said they changed them back and I'm not willing to give them that shot. They've lost you. They've lost me.

They've lost you. Alright, well we want to take your calls this morning. 0800 DARS at M. You can text as well. 9696. What are you missing? What's gone?

Where is it gone? Why do you miss it? I don't miss tangy fruits. You don't miss tangy fruits. Nah. Was never a fan. Too hard. Just meh.

Sparkles. Don't miss them. I think. I think. Well, I mean. Carl would be shocked that I don't miss sparkles. Do you miss sparkles? I loved a sparkle when I was a kid.

These were the best. There's many a different. They didn't even when I was a kid. These were the best. There's many a different, they didn't even sparkle. The pink ones, they were so good. I had a magical elf the other day. You know,

have you ever had one of those little chocolate magical elves? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they go, oh, yeah, the crackle. That's what a sparkle should have done.

Yeah, that's, there's no, I don't want my chocolate sparkling. I want a sparkle to sparkle. A sparkle to sparkle. A lolly to sparkle. I don't know, I liked the elf sparkling.

Right, oh, you're into that. Okay, well, 0800 DALSATEM. A sparkle to sparkle. A lolly to sparkle. I don't know. I liked the elf sparkling. Right. Oh, you're into that. Okay. Well, 0800 DALSATEM. Kink shame, mate. 9696. What food or items do you miss that need a comeback? Man, I am deep in the history of the McRib.

I feel like there's a Netflix series in the history of the McRib. You think so? I'm fascinated by it. Well, news that the Kiwi Burger is being rested. It has some fans upset, but- That's a good way of putting it. Well, news that the Kiwi Burger is being rested. It has some fans upset. That's a good way of putting it. Rested. Rested, yeah. From the menu. But we'll probably be back. Also

I found out it also, the Kiwi Burger, took a brief break in the 1990s. Oh, okay. Because then I'd always remember they'd bring it back with the jingle. Yes. And then they redid the jingle a few times. Yes. And then they redid the jingle a few times. Yes.

And then in 2004, there was a break in the Kiwi Burger and it returned in 2007. Right, okay. So it's an on and off. McDonald's isn't a relationship with the Kiwi Burger. You know, your friend that keeps going back to that person and they break up with them and they come back with them. It's one of those situations. Well, in this article that I'm reading,

a McDonald's spokesperson did say that the Kiwi Burger- Is it Ronald McDonald? It just says R. McDonald. So I'm assuming it's Ronald. Of course it's Ronald. It might be Regina McDonald. His sister. She takes it far more seriously.

Power suit and stuff. She thinks her brother's a clown. Regina said that items like the Kiwi Burger will return again as they have done in the past. So it's not like- Rest easy in the words of Regina McDonald. It's not like a lolly or a biscuit that you never see again. It will be back.

Take some calls. Lauren, good morning. Good morning. How are you? Good. What are the things that you miss that need to come back? How about Go-Gurts? They're an absolute childhood favourite. Go-Gurts? Go-Gurts. Yeah, you'd like put them in the freezer and take them to school and you were the top kid at school.

Is it like a moussey? Is it like a moussey? Do you remember those? You get like suckies nowadays, but they're, yeah, you'd get them in, no, not like a moussey. They were like literally yogurt in a skin.

It was a frozen yogurt in a rectangular pouch. Oh, okay, right. So you could tear the whole top off. You guys are too old for that. You shut your goddamn mouth or I'll fly out and find a snack. To be honest,

we never got those flash things. We never got like chocolate yogurts and stuff. Okay, so 1998 was when it was first introduced. So that's getting towards the end of my schooling anyway. Yeah. So my mother would have not, for a minute,

she would have made her own. Yeah, there's no, put some yogurt in it. Yeah, there's no, did you have roll-ups when you were? Oh,

yes. Yeah, so you, you, you, you sound like rich. We didn't get roll-ups. We're going to smack.

No, I was back here, Australia, in like 2015, and they had roll-ups there. Oh, wow. Okay.

What about that fruit for yonks? Did you ever have fruit for yonks? No. That was like had roll-ups there. Oh, wow. Okay. What about that fruit for yonks? Did you ever have fruit for yonks? No. That was like a roll-up but it was in one long tape measure. It was like a tape measure. Oh, yeah.

It was like a tape measure. It was a diabetes tape measure, really, that was. And a tooth puller. Great tooth puller, that. Lauren, thanks for your call. Hayley, what do you miss that should come back?

Hayley. Oh, hello, sorry. Good morning. I just talked what do you miss that should come back? Hayley. Oh, hello, sorry. Good morning. I just talked about it, actually, was the roll-up. Oh, roll-ups. My roll-up's gone. Yes, the square ones that were, like, so thick and that really pulled your teeth out. Oh, I had no idea.

I thought they'd just been, were around forever. Like, do you know old producer Jared still loves a Le Snack? Because I always remember we never were allowed Le Snacks, and we were never allowed roll-ups. And producer Jared, you're waving your Le Snack at us. Nothing like a cheesy snack before 8 a.m. in the morning. Yeah. I remember my parents saying,

you don't need a Le Snack. Cheese and crackers is an adult snack. That's what they said. Oh, okay, right. Yeah. I was told. Do you think you'd buy roll-ups now if they were available,'s what they said. Okay, right. I was told. Do you think you'd buy roll-ups now if they were available, Hayley? I totally would, yeah. I can see Uncle Toby's roll-ups, but you're saying they changed the recipe.

It's like too fruity now. It's like fruit leather rather than the old. Yeah, trying to make it sound healthy. Yeah, right. God, I hate when they make things healthy. Uncle Toby still does a fruit roll-up. Okay. 300 calories in that small square of thin.

Are you kidding me? Can you believe that? That's like a pie. That's like a whole cycle class at the gym. For one roll-up. Hayley, thanks. You called James. What do you miss that needs to come back? Klinker's chocolate.

Oh, I remember Klinker's. Yeah. It was chocolate on the outside, right, but once you bit into it, it had a different colour inside. Yeah. And would you describe, it was like a hard, you know, banal lolly. Is that how you'd describe it? Like that kind of texture.

Yeah, basically. It was like an explorer lolly, but hard. Yeah, that's the one. Would you be interested in hearing the fact that I'm on the Countdown website and Cadbury did

a special edition block of chocolate with Pascal's clinkers inside? Oh, really? When did that happen? I should sit in

and get some. It's on sale right now. It's on special. It's one of those ones they bring back and it's like, same price as all the other chocolates for a while

and then they're like, okay, we're going to get rid of this shit and then they mark it down considerably. Yeah, right. So it's like same price as all the other chocolates for a while and then they're like okay we're going to get rid of this shit and then they mark it down considerably. Yeah right. So it's just got clunks

chunks of clinkers. Chunks of clinkers. Okay well there you go James. Or another option James online you can get a bag of Pascal's clinkers for 100 New Zealand dollars. What?

And someone found some? Like in a cupboard? Yeah. No that's silly money, isn't it? That's how much they'll charge you online. Also, they literally haven't sold those for 10 years. That's marked down from $168 though. There's no way those are edible.

There's no way in hell. James, thanks for your call. Some other text messages in. I'm still cut up by Maggie, or as your South African friends call it, Maggie. Maggie. Maggie. Maggie. Stopping the curry nudes. Did they do a curry noodle?

I don't know. Should we go to our resident South African? Well, he's not a Magi expert. He just says it funny. Yeah, I... Are you not allowed to use two Gs in a row in South Africa? I don't know what's up with your weird... Not anymore. Not after what...

No, not after what happened. No. Okay, right. Your Kiwi pronunciation, not after what happened. No. Okay, right. Your Kiwi pronunciation's not great, eh? No. Come on, bro. I have heard of these Maggie Nudes, but... Well, I'm looking up...

I'm looking up now Maggie Masala Noodles or Maggie Curry Curry Core Curry Instant Noodles. Surely you could get some kind of sachet curry. Oh, no. Straight up curry two-minute noodles. Oh, okay. Interesting. Okay.

Carl went at these social medias. No, I don't like to look at that at all. Apparently, if you're craving clinkers, Kmart do a rip-off clinker. Yeah. I don't know what they're called, but in their little, I think it's like a dollar or two-dollar bag, lollies, clinkers. They're not as good, but they're close. Do they put them at that snaky aisle before the checkout?

Nah, that aisle that has all the party supplies in it. Oh, yeah, it's a good aisle. Someone messaged in saying, I miss Coppertone Oil 1, 2, and 4. We don't do that now. Obviously, they haven't been mole mapped lately either. Someone said, I miss Pebbles. Smarties? Pebbles not around anymore. Yeah, Smarties. I said, I miss pebbles. Smarties?

Are pebbles not around anymore? Are smarties? I mean, there's alternatives. Yeah, M&M is your best candy-covered chocolate, right? Oh, you can't beat the M&M. You can't beat an M&M. Thank God for the inventor

of lindut balls. They helped me forget. You were talking to him. Oh, wait, so they went from a pebble to a lindut ball. Okay, wow. That's a big step up. That's a big step up.

I wouldn't even put those in the same league. No. One's like playing posh European league, and one's just like a street cat. Totally. They're not even the same species now, according to that weird analogy that I just threw out there. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Megan.

A study has been done, and it's about drinking. Okay. It's a drinking study and it's compared men and women after a stressful day. If they order a soft drink as their first drink. Yeah. What happens next? Right. Now, men are still likely, more likely to develop drinking problems.

But women are more likely to turn to alcohol in times of stress a stressful day soft drink the first order after that men are more likely to stick to non-alcoholic drinks woman will guzzle the soft drink to get it out of the way and then absolutely get on the wines all the bourbons all the boobs yeah so apparently stress is the number one trigger to get people to think, man, I need a drink. Wow. When you experience stress, you turn to booze. Men, slightly less than women. That's interesting.

You, on the other hand, your first sign of stress, you'll grab the bottle, won't you? Oh, absolutely. You love having a couple of whiskeys. I've got two drink bottles in my bag. One for water. Yep. This is my water one. Yep. And the other one, this is my Jameson's one.

Just in case there's something stressful happening. Well, even in traffic, if I'm mildly stressed. You can't joke about that, Vaughan Smith. Oh, that person cut me off. I've got to chill out a little bit. No, I'm only kidding. I know you're joking. I don't drink dry.

Let's go to the only wahine here today at the social media. This is Carl Wayne. Hello. How do you feel about these study findings? Well, I do work with you two. So we relieve your stress. We're sort of like human alcohol. Sure.

Have you drank more since you started working breakfast hours? Maybe. Actually, maybe. Because a cheeky wine with dinner helps you get to sleep. Also, my friend Johnny, who Jared knows, we've got a rule. We get up so much earlier than everybody else. If we start drinking at like 2 o'clock in the afternoon, that's most people's dinner.

Yeah, it's basically 5 p.m. Yeah, totally. That's other people's 5s. We're just having them at 2s. And then, by the way, if you have a couple of drinks at 2s, you'll automatically get out of picking up the kids from school because you can't go half-cut. This is how alcoholics talk.

Probably just a little bit more slurry and closer to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They lean right in. Okay, well that's interesting. What about with your other friends? Do you think that females would drink more in stressful situations? Yeah, probably. My friend has had a stressful lockdown and she's definitely started drinking more.

Yeah. Because she wasn't drinking before this lockdown. Oh really? Okay, wow. But isn't it nuts that alcohol is the relied on one and all of the problems associated with alcohol are no one cast on a gin. Yep. But you can't like

relieve your stress with illegally in New Zealand yet with marijuana which is, you know, a proven stress relief. That's true, yeah. I mean, I wouldn't stop drinking.

I'd just do both. Legally. Or just like hone some chocolate. That's another one right See you're a stress eater Yeah I'd rather eat Yeah you're a stress eater

You're a chalky guy You know what would Make this better Sweets A giant block of chocolate Or biscuits I was thinking I was just like

What do you do Like how do you Process yours And sweets Yeah Grow up Grow up And slowly kill yourself

Like the rest of us Yeah Destroy your liver slowly Yes All of your organs Grow up and slowly kill yourself like the rest of us Yeah Destroy your liver slowly Yes, all of your organs Make them suffer ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan NCEA wrapped up for the year Results, your standard, you know, day of anxiety and anxiousness

In January, is it? Sometime in January, the results? I'd say so, yeah Yeah, so apparently attendance for NCEA exams Lowest ever. Lowest ever, correct. But that's because of COVID, right? And there

was the option. Yes. Of getting an unexpected event grade. Under 48% of Auckland secondary school students turned up to the NCA exams. I know a lot of kids just didn't go,

or school kids, high school, primary, didn't go back to school after the restrictions were lifted because a lot of the infections were younger people who hadn't yet been vaccinated, which is the primary age. Although vaccination rates in high schoolers in Auckland was pretty good, I think. I feel like if this was me at NCEA, I would have had to go and do the exam because whatever they were basing my mark on wouldn't have been enough. Judging from my previous school exams.

Yeah. I think in the last internal exam, like the pretend exams before the actual exams, the what are now NCEA exams. In English, I think I got 17%. It got halfway through and I was like, I am not feeling this. But you are a grammar Nazi. No, I am not feeling this. You got 17%.

Yeah. Right, okay. Well, hey, even Goring and Goebbels had a bad day being a Nazi. They probably got 70% on a Nazi quiz, but they were Nazis. Yeah, right. But no, I just, yeah, I didn't, I wasn't vibing it. So how were these emergency marks, what did you call them, unexpected?

Unexpected event grade. So how are they worked out? Does the teacher just decide, well, he's kind of semi-dumb, give him a 40, or like, do they like judge it? I don't know, it would have to be handed out based on work throughout the year. Okay. Like officially submitted marks, et cetera.

You can just imagine being like a pretty good student, but the teacher, you just didn't get on with the teacher and the teacher didn't like you. And they're like, well, I do have a 30% to hand out. And you're a little SHIT head. What does that spell? See, if you'd been paying attention, you wouldn't have been getting the 30%

because you would know. But yeah, you can, but it's enough to get you, you know, based on throughout your year to get you into university or whatever, so. And I see the story yesterday, the universities were maybe looking to lower their standards a little bit

because of this year. What do you mean? Like party standards or like actual marks required to get in? Like marks required to get in. Some of those universities probably couldn't lower their party standards too much. No. They really get up to some absolute shenanigans. ZM's Flesh Warner Megan.

Play ZM. The 12 Days of Fleshmas. Well, the 12 Days of Fletchmas. Well, the 12 Days of Fletchmas, we've only got a couple of days left. Our last show tomorrow. You can register, though, if you'd like to play ZM online. You've just got to tell us why you deserve to be on the nice list or why you're on the naughty list.

And then each morning I'll have a caller from each, and then I will have to choose. It's been very hard. It was such a stressful time of the year. People might always go for the nice list, but sometimes the naughty one really tickles me. We start this morning with Alex on the nice list. Good morning, Alex. Good morning.

Now, why do you deserve to be on the nice list? I deserve to be on the nice list because I gave birth to my second daughter on the 14th of November. That was very nice of you. It was, yes. To give life to a human. Yeah, okay. It gets better because at exactly 3.53, she came out. My partner was able to meet her, cut the cord.

It was all good. And he made it in time to watch the Haka for the All Blacks vs Ireland game. Oh, my God. I thought you were going to say he died. No. I was like, hey, don't you dare do this to us. No, definitely not.

So you were, like, nice enough to give him an early birth. Yep. So that he could watch the rugby. Yeah, of course. Was this going to be a contentious issue? Like, was he like, look, if it's during the game, I might not make it? Yeah, I think so. I think so.

He was watching the women's game just beforehand because I didn't want him anywhere near me during the labouring. Okay. Oh, there it is. That's why. She's not lying. It's there, right there. You can hear it.

Exactly, yeah. Unless that was him doing a baby noise and this is all just a bit of ruse. Wow, okay. Very nice. I couldn't imagine,

yeah. Like, would you have been allowed to watch a spawning game, Vaughn? I don't want to watch a spawning game. You don't want to know about something you'd like. Like, what if there was a new Vaughn? I don't want to watch a spawning game. You don't want to know about something you'd like.

Like, what if there was a new Marvel movie? Surely I don't have to be for the whole lab, you know. Go and catch a Spider-Man. You could be there for like a little bit of the Marvel movie. I'm just going to spray. Okay, Alex, wait there. Who's on the naughty list? Well, Leisha joins us.

Good morning, Leisha. Good morning. Why are you on the naughty list? Well, Leisha joins us. Good morning, Leisha. Good morning. Why are you on the naughty list? I'm on the naughty list because, well, a few years ago, my sister-in-law went vegan. Okay. I like how you said that. She went vegan.

Oh, my God. Do you know the other day, quick story, I was in the section of the supermarket that has all the vegan, vegetarian stuff. What do you call that section? The produce department. Carwen, do you know what it's called being a vegetarian? That section. It's usually like the organics or health section.

Yeah. Anyway, there was like someone had put a packet of salami in there and I messaged my friend who's a vegan and I was like, oh my god, someone's had a change of heart. They're on your team now. And he said, no, this happens every day. He said, people do this. Like they'll get a pack of mints or whatever

and put it in there to be like, to taunt the vegan. Did you know this? I mean, I have seen a discarded packet of meat or two, but I didn't know it was a thing. What a waste of meat. He literally snapped me the other day and was like, see, here's another one.

And they apparently do it every day. I didn't know this was a thing. Yeah, side note. Anyway, sorry, Alicia, back to your... That's okay. It's sort of along the lines of what I do. But anyway, I have no issue with her being vegan, except she's one of those vegans who she judges the rest of us for not choosing to

be anemic all the time um you are hitting for the fences um and so earlier this year we had like a family potluck dinner and i'd made a real nice roast veggie salad, and I was looking at it, and I was like, uh-oh, this is just, like, this is actually vegan-friendly. So I added bacon to it. You were like, wait, this can't be vegan. I must meet it up. You spiked the vegan dish. Okay. Yeah, and then ever since then,

any time we have a family, like, do, I always make sure that I add, add like cheese or bacon or cream or something to the dish that i'm making just so that i'm like oh i'm so sorry you can't eat it oh my god like you are evil do you hate this person no no i just don't like being judged for just choosing to eat meat but but all right... Alright, you did say she's that. She's that. Yeah, she tries to kind of be like, you should eat more plant-based. Holier than thou.

Yeah, one of those. That's no way to convince people to... Yeah. What about yesterday? Fletch, at that brunch, I ordered a vegan, I ordered a vegetarian thing. You did. And no one gave me any applause, so I'm back on the meat. I was not applauded and paraded like that.

Plant-based hero I was for one meal. Yeah. And it hurt. All right. Well, Leisha, wait there. I'm really torn. I'm really torn. I'm really torn here. Because Alex was nice and pushed a baby out so her husband could watch the rugby. Yeah.

And then Leisha was naughty and she seemed spiteful. Spiteful, yeah. I don't know. I don't know. Because, you know, I give the vegans a bit of a ribbing, pun intended, pork or beef. But it's all in lighthearted fun. I certainly wouldn't spike a salad with bacon. I know.

I'd eat that bacon. Up to you, though. That's why you get paid the big bucks, mate. You've got to make the hard decisions. I'm over here on minimum wage, happily sitting with zero responsibility. No, you're not. Okay.

Oh, I don't know, because if I go in for Leisha, like my friend who's a vegan, we'll be like, why'd you do that? We angry. Yeah, I'm angry. And then...

Is your friend the vegan? Are they hot? Why does that matter? Oh, hang on, I've run out of music. Well, I tend to base all my decisions on when will the hot person benefit the most. I don't want to upset hot people. Alex, congratulations.

I'm going for you. They are hot. They're a hot vegan. I don't know what, Alex, you're saved by a hot vegan. I am. Thank you so much. Alex, I've got a present under our tree. We're going to open this up now for you.

Alicia, I'm sorry, but no. He's a hot vegan. Not everybody can win. Not a holier-than-thou vegan. It's a hot vegan in the mix. You have won an AJ Hackett bungee of your choice in Auckland, Taupo or Queenstown. Thanks to our mates at AJ Hackett. Oh my God.

Yes. Thank you. Hey, do the Queenstown one if you get to Queenstown. Like, beautiful. Oh, yeah. I'm not saying the other one's rubbish, but like, you're the highest. Right. Yeah.

Or the most picturesque. Jump from the old bridge I've done Auckland and Topol But I haven't done Queenstown Would you like a certificate? No What do you mean like a certificate to do it Or a certificate for jumping two of the three?

Jumping two of the three No, no, no No certificate required But I do want to see a picture of this hot vegan Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan An 18 year old has got a job being a bus driver. Now, traditionally, that's probably not the sort of job an 18-year-old gets. It's always traditionally being your old mate kind of job

with the pulled-up socks and shorty shorts. Yeah. Is it retired? Maybe not as much anymore. No, not anymore. My school bus driver was a World War II veteran. Wow, okay. Bob Booker. Bob. He wouldn't have taken any

pranks pulling the buzzer? No, we didn't have a buzzer. It was a very old bus. He preferred to drive the very old buses. Right. He was the kindest man. He was the nicest man and he liked mushrooms. I'm really having a bit of a flashback. Would he get you on the bus and then just talk about mushrooms?

Well, I remember once he said, because there was mushrooms just growing in the paddock. Right. And he'd say, those mushrooms, are they? Or something one time. And I was like, yeah. And he's like, I love mushrooms. And then I was like, oh, okay. So the next day I said to my mum, because Bob loves mushrooms,

and mum would all pick up Bob an ice cream container, because that's what every mum used for any sort of container in the 90s. Pick Bob an ice cream container full of mushrooms. What, from a field? Yeah, from our paddock. They weren't magic mushrooms. We knew they were the edible type. Well, because you don't want Bob on magic mushrooms driving.

We don't want Bob tripping bulls with 14 to 24 school children on board. Sounds like a Bob in the Magic school bus. Sounds like some kind of bad, bad experience. Bob took us inside somebody's body and we flowed through the circulatory system in Bob's Magic Bedford school bus. Right. And so I picked a mushroom and he was like,

that's lovely, and then it just became a thing. He became, oh, mushrooms, he loved mushrooms. But if you're waiting for the bus, say you're going to work or wherever, the bus pulls up and the doors open. Yeah. There's an 18-year-old. Yeah.

Driving the big bus. Yeah. You wouldn't get a double-decker at that age. When you're 18, 18-year-olds look like you. But when you get older, you're like, holy moly, that's some fresh-faced 18-year-old. Yeah. And would you, because that's someone that's only had their full licence for how long at the very most?

A year? I don't know. Because then, I don't know how you go about getting your bus license. What class licence is that? It's a heavier transport. It's a transport licence. So you'd have to get all your licences, then get that licence. This 18-year-old's in the UK.

So obviously things might be different there. Or they've got double-decker buses. He would have to put up with so much judgement. And there'd be a bit of old matery, for sure. But that's pretty... It's just driving, right? Yeah. It's a driving job.

It's fine. It's just not, right? Yeah. It's a driving job. It's fine. It's just not what you expect. And maybe because of the youth, a bit more fresh-faced, a bit more happy, a bit more, yeah, totally you can pay with cash. I'm not going to be a real dick about that or anything like that. No way, not me. But we were wondering this morning, are you the youngest or have you been the youngest in your field of work?

Yeah. What's it like being a young person in a traditionally older person's field of work? Right. What about when you were really young working at the service station? Oh, no. They hired predominantly young people because they were cheaper. Yeah, you'd expect that's the kind of a job that a high school kid would do, right? Yeah.

I knew someone that was a greenskeeper. How old were they? They were like, it was early 20s. Because that's another, like a bus driver, you expect them to be old mates. I can imagine you being a greenskeeper when you're semi-retired. Yeah. And then you're yelling at kids because they're on your grass. Yeah.

Yeah, that'd be you. Well, I definitely expect divots to be replaced. Absolutely. I'm not a monster monster You're not a monster No So we want to hear from you Maybe you've experienced this And you were super young

Going into a job And maybe people Didn't take you seriously Or they were just like What? Especially people that are Like young faced right? Yeah baby faced

Yeah Baby faced people In an old made industry Well a story's gone viral An 18 year old Has got a job as a bus driver, and everyone's like, this is weird. Like, he's 18.

He looks like he should still be at school, and he's driving this bus. Tag on, please. This is a... In 2018, there was a story about an 18-year-old female bus driver in the UK who at the time was the youngest, and this guy just pips her. So literally just 18.

I thought we might hear from a couple of people. We're hearing from so many people that are the youngest in their field. And because they're so young, they deal with so many issues, right? Because people just, I guess there's that inexperience thing and people struggle to trust you. Yeah. Michelle messaged in, I left high school at the end of sixth form, and I managed my grandmother's antique shop.

Oh, see, that's, you literally weren't even alive when these things were made. When any of it was made. I left at 18 and started funeral directing and embalming at my parents' funeral home. So they've gone from antiques to dealing with the people who used to buy antiques. What a biz, What an incredible story.

Yeah. But that's the thing. If you're an 18-year-old, that's a lot in palming and funeral directing. But if it's a family business, then they've been around forever then. That's your job, eh? You're just like, okay, here's another one. You're just like... What was that? He just poked.

Like, he just said, here's another one he went poke what are you just are you confirming that you've always got to do the poke test when the body first comes in just to make sure they're all top so they've been declared dead they've been in the fridge but you just want to give them a double double prod check yeah that's if i was a uh an embalmer that would be my check jess um are you the youngest at your job? Yeah, I am. Well, I've been managing game shops for a long time, but I started when I was just 18 and three months. Back then, though, which was almost exactly that amount of years again, which we're not going to talk about,

they were mainly bearded older men. I think when I went to conferences, there'd be 230 of us and five of us and five of us would be female and i was the youngest by about six seven years it was a very interesting place were you the best smelling as well i'd like to hope so yeah i know the smell of that conference in my mind was just like um it was a lot different these days but um would people say can i speak to the manager and you're like well i am the manager and they're like you're 18. uh yeah and

nine times out of ten the people working for me were older than me as well so half the time they they'd turn to the person next to me and go excuse me um i need to speak to the manager and they'd look at me and then the person would look at me and just be like, no. I would love that. That would be such a great like, just to see the look on their face every time. Yeah. Yeah, it didn't ever get old really. Amazing. Yeah, it is. Jess, thanks for sharing.

Erin, you're the youngest at your job? Yeah, I was. Okay. Yeah, many moons ago. Okay. I worked at a rent home. Okay. Okay. This was, yeah, many moons ago. Okay. I worked at a rent home. Okay. Yeah.

You know those people aren't employees, they live there. No, I felt like I did. I mean, I was there on Christmas Day and all sorts of things. Oh, really? So what was your job and how old were you? I was 17 and I was a caregiver. Oh, wow. Okay.

Yeah. So I think it's the same caregivers. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah. So I think it's the same caregivers, nurses, people are born with that. Like I think you... That incredible skill and... Totally. Totally. And compassion. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So it doesn't, it might even fade with age. But so what was the average age of the other caregivers there? They were sort of all middle-aged women, like, you know, late 30s, sort of 40s. Just for the record, we don't say late 30s as middle-aged, please. Oh, I just say. Well, that's me now, isn't it? Let's not call ourselves middle-aged. Let's say middle-aged now.

Let's push another 20 years down the track. So did people think you were just there visiting Gran? Oh, no, because I was in a uniform all the time. But, you know, yeah. Yeah, right. Erin, thanks for sharing. We have a call on the line now. It's the sluice goose.

It's Mr Bun Buns. Good morning. He's an intern. Anya's boyfriend works at Driven, the New Zealand Herald Motoring Department. And you deal with this, Mr Bun Buns. Yes. Well, because, I mean, I'm a bit on a now,

but when I started, I was 21, I think, and used to get some weird looks going to pick up cars. Like, one of my first cars was a Land Rover, and I guess they're expecting my dad to turn up to pick up the car. I was just waiting for him. It's a bit awkward like that sometimes. Does it help that you skate into Armstrong

or Continental cars, and you're like, hey, I'm here to pick up the $800,000 Lambo? Yeah, that was probably the worst one just recently with that electric Audi, like a 300k car, and I just come in my skateboard and my back is hacked. And I'm like, yeah, that probably wasn't the greatest aesthetic from the get-go. This blonde, fresh-faced, young Dutch boy turns up.

I'm here for the electric car. But it was weird because obviously they were working under COVID protocols, so I had to just awkwardly knock at the door and be like, I'm here to pick up the e-tron GD. And I kind of got the, yeah, whatever, mate. Skate on, boy. Nice try. Thanks, Sluice Goose.

Some messages in. Lots of people dealing with the... Yeah. You know the most popular one we've heard? Lots of text messages. Way more than I expected. Young groundskeepers at school. Oh, wow.

Yeah. A 17-year-old. Someone said, I left school and immediately got a job as a groundskeeper at this big school, but the other groundskeeper was always away doing other stuff. I was kind of in charge of the whole grounds.

That kind of goes against the grain of the tinkering old mate. Yeah. Who's like the tractor mower breaks down and he's just like, and then he comes into class and he's like, I need two of your strongest kids. And he's got grass clippings all over him. Yeah. Yeah.

And they don't really like him in the staff room. No. Because he's a bit weird. He's smelly and greasy. Yeah. But yeah, like people somebody else said, another one I was a groundsman of a girls high school when I was

19 years old. I like to think you were the hot groundskeeper. They referred to you as the hot groundskeeper. Yeah, maybe they did, yeah. I was a bank teller at 16. People would ask if I was helping mum at work for the day. And ask for their money to be counted by an adult.

Oh, ouch. Please. Oh, wow. Somebody else said, I was driving trucks in my early 20s and I looked young and I'd jump out of the truck and go in and be like, hi, and they'd be like, g'day, mate. You're helping Dad out. That's like how boomers talk to foreign people. Yeah.

Hello. Hello there. where are you from hamilton i meant before that hamilton hamilton i was born in hamilton yes i know but where are you from? Before, before. Hamilton. Where are your parents from? They're from Hamilton. Before that. Before that. Before that.

Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about the oldest known Christmas film. Oh, yeah? The oldest known Christmas film. Everybody's looking for a Christmas film to watch. The good thing about this Christmas film is you can watch it in one minute, 16 seconds. Oh, good.

It's old but it's short. So this was in 1898. Of course that would then fall into the silent short film era. Okay. No sound. Maybe a live piano accompaniment if you watched in the theater. That explains why it's so

short. Yeah it would probably cost a billion dollars to make. And this is the basic plot of the 1 minute 16 Christmas film called Santa Claus. Okay. Two children are being put

into bed by a maid. Yeah. She turns off the lights and the children fall asleep immediately. So already this is a work of fiction. Yeah.

Santa Claus enters the room from the fireplace and proceeds to decorate the Christmas tree. He then fills the stockings that were hung on the fireplace by the children. He then walks backwards, looks at his work, both the Christmas tree and the stuffed stockings, and then suddenly darts at the fireplace

and disappears up the chimney. The children wake up to see that Santa was in their bedroom and the film surprises everyone and leaves them wondering how St fireplace and disappears up the chimney. The children wake up to see that Santa was in their bedroom and the film surprises everyone and leaves them wondering how St. Nicholas disappeared up the chimney. Because it was also like the first film that basically had a camera move and then take a cut point and then all of a sudden he was gone and everyone was like, ah, magic.

Witchcraft, devilry, magic. And people were just Apparently blown away By the special effects Of the fact that Yeah He was there and then He was gone Whereas now we have

Special effects Where there's a dragon Flying through the sky And it looks like a dragon Yeah but Yeah Does it disappear up a chimney No

After decorating a tree Wow okay Yeah People are so easily Entertained in the 1890s Aren't they Yeah stupid people Stupid old idiots.

We can say this. None of them are alive anymore. No. How old would they be? 130? 40? Yeah. Oh, yeah, if they were born in 1898.

But, yeah, if they were. Oh, yeah, they're not alive. They're not alive. We can call them stupid idiots. Yeah. Easily fooled. Stupid idiots. Stupid fools.

So today's fact of the day is the oldest Christmas movie was called Santa Claus. It came out in 1898 and it was one minute and 16 seconds long. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. CDM's Fletchborn and Megan. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. CDM's Fletchborn and Megan. Well, a relationship expert has raised a new, I guess, what do you call it? They're called pink flags.

You know red flags? I know black flag. I use it to kill mosquitoes. Yeah, red flag. Thanks for that dad joke. Red flags. You know, everyone, we all know the red flags like. You swim between them at the beach.

Oh my God. I will stab you with this pen in swim between them at the beach. Oh, my God. I will stab you with this pen in your throat. Right. Okay, no, go on. We all know the red, but pink flags. That's where the candy floss. You can get candy floss at. I've got one for everybody.

No, absolutely. Can you take this seriously, please? Yeah, go on. Trying to tell people about some relationship signs to watch for. Now, Carl Wayne at the social media desk, we were speaking about these pink flags before the show. Now, this relationship expert is revealing less obvious warning signs to watch out in your relationship, including watching too much TV together and not taking photos together.

Now, what did you say when we were discussing this? Well, we do watch a bit of TV because we have a few shows that we watch together. Now, what did you say when we were discussing this? Well, we do watch a bit of TV because we have a few shows that we watch together. Yeah. And obviously over the space of a weekend that builds up to be quite a lot of TV. And my boyfriend is a photographer, so he usually just takes photos of me.

Like, I don't think we have... We have photos together, but we're not taking them all the time. Does he post photos of you together? I actually think the photos he's posted are just me and not us together. Right, okay, okay. Are we going to break up?

Is that what you're telling me? Well, watching too much TV is a sign that you could be running out of things to talk about in your relationship. Oh, I don't think it's that. You're running out of things to talk about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also, never taking social media posts together

signals that your partner doesn't want anyone to know about you. Okay, so. Unless they don't, if they do zero social media posts. Yeah, but he's posting, just not with him in it, but you're there. Yeah, yeah. He's posted a few times with me. I've posted once with us. Okay. but you're there. Yeah. Yeah. He's posted a few times with me. I've posted once with us. Okay.

Okay. So you're not a secret. No. How often does he post? Oh, relatively frequently. Okay. And you've been in one? No, I've been in a few of his.

Multiple. But not together. He's been in one of mine. I don't know what this means. Fletch, what does this relationship expert say about this? About what? About the fact that he's posting photos of Carwin, but he's not in it.

Yeah, they don't have a thing on that. He adores you. Great, amazing. I'll take it from here. I'll take it from here. Okay, yeah, yeah. I'm somewhat of a social media expert. Okay, yeah.

I've got a LinkedIn. He adores you, yeah. I had a MySpace. Yeah. He adores you. Amazing, I'll take it. But you're not reciprocated. Yeah, but you probably need to have a bit more conversation

before TV. Yeah. Fine. Maybe after each episode you could stop and do a debrief of the episode and the themes of it and what you thought about it. Cool, like in high school. Yeah, some pink flags to watch out for. ZM and Countdown's Christmas Holiday Helpers. Ho, ho, ho.

Well, Countdown Christmas Helpers. All you've got to do is go to ZM Online and register. I've got another one of these to give away tomorrow as well. Tell us how bad the Christmas meal was ruined. Maybe you set fire to the chicken or the meat. Or you dropped it all on the floor. Or it was just terrible.

We talked about the salt- salt sugar situation that can happen. Yeah, mixing that up. Yep. Yeah, maybe you set, what's the thing you set on fire? I mean, you could do a pud that you set on fire. A pudding on fire? Yeah. What?

I've never heard of that. You set a, like a Christmas pudding, you cover it in brandy and you light it. Oh. En flambe. En flambe. But does it, and then do you have to put it out before it burns? I think it burns itself out, doesn't it? But does that kind of crystallize the pud?

Yep. Yum. It adds brandy. Okay. Flaming a Christmas pud. Well, maybe you, instead of brandy, you put petrol on and that ruined the whole dinner. That would certainly ruin it. Correct.

You tell us what happened and you're into it. Kylie, we've drawn out this morning. Good morning, Kylie. Good morning. Now, how did you ruin the Christmas dinner? Well, my mum is the oldest of nine, so our family is huge. We are a heavily Irish family, so potatoes are very much on the table at Christmas time. Normally when there's over 50 people to feed for,

the two worst jobs to put your hand up for is drying the dishes or peeling the potatoes. And this year I opted for peeling three bags of 10 kilo sacks of potatoes. Three? 50 people? They were perfectly round. Not those potatoes that get little knobbies and nodules. They take a long time. I just keep peeling until it's flat.

I can peel half the potato away just to get it flat. Yeah. That's a kumara approach there. That's how I peel my kumara. Right. So as I peeled this colossal amount of potatoes, I got to about seven left of the last 10 kilos sack and realised that my thumb was bleeding.

Oh, okay. I was riddled with warts on all of my fingers. I had about four probably on each finger. It was really, really bad. And what was actually bleeding was where a wart was. Oh, jeez. So my mum was standing next to me just looking at me go inside out. And the colour, obviously, of your skin is a very similar colour to potatoes. So that was something that, obviously, you can't really find to pick out.

Tell me you threw these all out, these warty potatoes. We threw them all out. But everybody in the family knew about this and everybody still dry reaches about this. You should never have been on peeling. No offence. You don't put warty fingers on peeling. No, you

put warty fingers on a tea towel to dry the dishes. No offence. No offence. No offence. I don't even know if I want warty fingers on my dishes. They would have been boiled. It would have been okay. You can't boil away a wart. Cleaningence. They won't even know if I want warty fingers on my dishes. They would have been boiled. It would have been okay. You can't boil away a wart. You should have been on cleaning duties or something.

I am. I have been since then. Okay, yeah, no, that's fair enough. Well, Kylie, we've got for you a five. I would never have told anybody that story. No, I love that you've shared, Kylie, because you've won a $500 countdown voucher. Congratulations. You can enjoy the magic of Christmas with countdown.

That's a lot of big spuds, bag of spuds. Oh, my warts have paid off. Oh, that's awesome. I knew the day would come where my wants would pay off.