ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 16th February 2021

Episode Date: February 15, 2021

Top 6: US Variant  Leave Essential Workers Alone!  Bill Bailey!  Secret Sound!  What do you need to do before living together?  Don't Get Fletch Started!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleeche Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul podcast. It's thanks to McCafe by 5 McCafe Coffees. Get one free on the Maccas app. Now, this is going to sound outrageous and I've so far only told two people, my mother and my partner. But I've been traveling around on tour and I was in the quest in Palmerston North and I was asleep. This is a hotel. Motel. Apartment hotel. Motel motel holiday.

Okay. It was a hotel. Apartments. Okay. Anyway, so I got up and I had been dreaming during the night. And I got up and I went to the toilet as I'm known to do. I've got one kidney. I came back to bed and I fell asleep.

And then I woke up and I swear to God. And this is not even. I don't generally believe in this stuff oh here we go here we go i saw a ghost i know don't roll your eyes where was this in palmer i genuinely saw a ghost in palmer north in palmer north you've been a vet student they get high on ketamines and they look a lot like a ghost i wasn't dreaming i opened up my eyes and to the left of my bed, like standing right by the foot of the bed was this old man. And he was,

he was a shadow, but he was, I liked, like I could see him and he had this pointy nose and a kind of old worn pinstripe blazer. And he was stooped down. He wasn't looking at me and my eyes were like, what the hell is happening?

And then I was like, Oh, I'm just must still be dreaming. And I looked around the room. I was like, I'm not dreaming. I know I'm not dreaming. I'm awake. And I just stared at the thing for a little bit. And I were like, what the hell is happening? And then I was like, oh, I must still be dreaming. And I looked around the room. I was like, I'm not dreaming. I know I'm not dreaming. I'm awake. And I just stared at this thing for a little bit.

And I was like, that? You were dreaming. I wasn't. It was a ghost because I checked in my head. I was like, I'm not dreaming. So how long were you awake after you saw the ghost? I saw him for a bit. And I looked at him.

And enough to see the detail. But I didn't want to look him in the face because I was pretty scared. And I was like, this is really weird. I don't really believe in ghosts. And then I was like, oh, this is really making me feel not good. So then I put my head under the cover and then I just closed my eyes

until I couldn't breathe because I couldn't stay under there for long. Then I lifted the cover off and I refused to open my eyes and then I woke up in the morning and he was gone. Right. Do you think there was a gas bottle

left on in the unit? A lack of fresh air into the room? Because that's what they've done tests before when people say they've seen ghosts. And if people can get there without a disturbed environment like windows and doors and stuff being open, they always find there's a high concentration of carbon dioxide in the room. Well, there was a little oven in the apartment, but it was electric. There was no gas. There was no gas on. There was a heat pump. That was electric. Yeah, that could a little oven in the apartment, but it was electric. There was no gas. There was no gas on.

There was a heat pump. That was electric. Yeah, that could have been pumping in. You're talking. Look, I totally understand. So many people tell me they've seen ghosts, and I'm like, sure. You had a dream. Did you ask the proprietor of the place if they had a ghost?

No, I didn't. Because they'd certainly like to you know what hotel was it that rumor going the quest parmesan oh that's like a new one i was expecting you to say we're staying in a rundown old pub in ashurst no no no this was like a new build apartment no i don't think ghosts can afford these new apartment blocks they're more of year old ghosts have actually been priced out of the housing market Yeah they have Sadly they have So many homeless ghosts It's a real epidemic It's a real epidemic

You should see the waiting list for state housing for ghosts Very long Okay you're all making fun of me You're talking to two of the most cynical people there is I wouldn't have just even said anything So am I I'm so cynical I don't even know how it happened

But I swear to you. I don't even know how it happened, but I swear to you all I saw a ghost. And she's back. She's come crawling back to the level three safety of radio. It's a blessing to be here. Come crawling back to Auckland as a lot of people. It's a blessing to be here. I'm crawling back to Auckland

as a lot of people who live in Auckland had to do. Yeah, I did crawl as well. It was a bit of a blimmin' rigmarole to get here. I trafficked the check. I saw that on the news. All the traffic-y checkpoints in and out. So today's the big day after yesterday's huge testing blitz.

Yeah. And the high school testing. No news at this stage. I know. Yesterday's update was a bit disappointing, wasn't it? Yeah, it was. A little bit of drama. Well, I mean, it was good news.

I know, but no news. No, I know. Yeah. So I think hopefully there'll be some results this morning. We'll keep you updated throughout the morning as soon as we hear anything. ZM's $50,000 secret sound is back. The current jackpot, $10,000. Hayley, you can see through the window.

I know. That's the intern. It's a bit creepy, this little setup. Well, it's like Big Brother. Big Brother Australia. Is it legal to do this to me Well no they're an intern Oh okay

The laws don't count to them No I punched one yesterday Oh yeah Yeah she was looking at me funny Oh Oh Maudie

I'm just kidding Obviously I don't I love that you say that With a bottle of whiskey In front of you I don't know if she was an intern or not I just

She was looking at me funny You were falling apart I didn't hit anybody There was no one here. Before the nation dies. Put your bottle of jammiesons down. Just a little drink to start the day. So you

you've given Vaughan a bottle of booze because yesterday you were outside of the border zone. I was. And Vaughan requested alcohol. Could you not buy alcohol yesterday? I wasn't sure. I didn't want to, like, miss out. Right, okay. And I thought I've got to take this opportunity to...

Yeah. I got that bottle of whiskey for you in Turangi as I journeyed from Palmerston North to Auckland yesterday to get back into the city of COVID. Lovely spot. And yeah, there you go. Has Vaughan paid you for that? He hasn't paid me for this.

It's $55. Bank transfer, yes. I'm going to do that now because he forgets. You've got to chase him up. Does he? Oh, he you go. Has Vaughan paid you for that? He hasn't paid me for this. It's $55. Bank transfer. I'm going to do that now because he forgets. You've got to chase him up. Does he? Oh, he's terrible. He taps on that. Fletch is also the sort of friend that will require the $4.20 he is owed for a coffee or a muffin to be paid back as soon as you get to.

You're not a charity. I'm just giving money to you. I'm not the Red Cross. No, exactly. I know exactly. Yeah, the Red Cross is'm just giving money to you. I'm not the Red Cross. No, exactly. I know exactly. Yeah, the Red Cross is always handing out money for coffee. Famously. Please, I just need a muffin to get through the morning.

Don't worry, it's us, the Red Cross. We'll lend you that money, Sarah. You pass back. Coming up on the show, the top six. Yeah, the top six names for the... But this is good news. You know, we've got the South African variant of COVID. Yeah.

And now, apparently, the world's favorite UK variant of COVID. Super spready. Yeah, that's the one that turned up here. Great news. COVID has been running rampant in the US of A now. They believe there could be up to nine COVID variants in the US. Oh, so when you say good news, you mean it sarcastically. Oh, yes.

So unless one of them mutates to the point where it starts fighting ordinary COVID. Oh, yes. It turns back on itself. Fight fire with fire. This is like when they introduced rabbits in New Zealand and then they became a problem, so they introduced ferrets to fight the rabbits and then they were like, well, that's a problem.

We need to keep introducing bigger and crazier animals. So I've got the top six names for the US variants of COVID-19. All right, we'll give you a shot at ZM's $50,000 secret sound at 7 o'clock. $10,000 is the current jackpot. This is the sound. Any ideas, Hayley? Oh, my God.

No. Even if you get it wrong, $100 cash. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. I am a terrible sleeper. Once I'm asleep, I'm all right. But I find it really, really hard to get to sleep. Oh, dude, this is for a couple more weeks.

It's great. Now I have to get up at 4 a.m. But a doctor has taken to the old talkie to tell us how to make getting to sleep easier. And apparently the secret is wearing socks to bed, which in my eyes is an absolute no-no. Yeah, well, the good part is if you're wearing socks to bed, which in my eyes is an absolute no-no. Yeah, well, the good part is if you're wearing socks to bed, your partner's probably not going to be pestering you for sex.

That's the ultimate turn-off, eh? Yeah. Usually they're like, Hey, let's have sex, let's have sex. Oh, every night. Oh, incessantly. No, got the socks on. You know what that means.

Chuck a pair of socks on, they're like, ugh. The only time I ever, this is a weird thing that I do. The only time I ever wear socks to bed is to purposely enjoy the feeling of taking them off. Do you take them off with your toes? Yeah, you know when you're in bed and you get all sort of soft and warm and then you just hook your little toes into the socks. You peel them down. Then you've got to get the socks out of the bed.

No, you just leave them there and then you change the sheets. You've got a collection of socks for the week. You peel them down. Then you've got to get the socks out of the bed. No, you just leave them there. Oh, no. And then you change the sheets. You've got a collection of socks for the week. Right. So this doctor says that wearing socks to bed obviously makes your feet warmer, which then causes your blood vessels to dilate, which actually cools the body down.

And then the body being cooler tells your brain, it's time for bed, baby. And that's the science behind it. Right. So actually people that wear socks to bed tend to fall asleep a little bit faster. What about that counting thing? Do you ever do the counting, breathing counting?

No, what, you count backwards? No, the British SAS, it's how, because you know how when they're all like, you've got first watch. And then the other one has to sleep, you have to get yourself to sleep. I just thought they all just fell asleep because they've been real tired from walking, carrying all their guns all day. Probably that, but they'd still be like worried.

You imagine trying to fall asleep in the desert. Yeah. Okay. So how do you fall asleep when you're in the SAS? You count. You breathe in. One, two, three, four. And then you hold it. I think it's seven. Yep. Oh, yes. I know this one. And then you slowly breathe out and count to eight.

And then you breathe in. Four. hold for seven, out for eight. I think it's four, seven, eight. Yeah, but I'd be thinking about the snakes. Yeah, same. Because you're in the desert. Same. Yeah, but you're not. Or scorpions.

You're not in the desert. Am I in a tent? No, you, wherever you are sleeping. Am I in an SUV? Am I in the Humvee? You're in your house. Why don't you just, if you're in your house. You're not, yeah, but I'm saying how you use it. I'm not. Well, there's no snakes in my house If you're in your house But I'm saying how you use it

There's no snakes in my house I'm imagining we're in the desert In the SAS Am I in a tent? Do they use tents? I don't know, are they in a bunker? No, they're sleeping in a bush I'm not sleeping in a bush

They'll see a tent Why can't we get the SAS some bloody mattresses Or something nice They can't sleeping in a bush. They're not sleeping in a bush. They'll see it. They'll see it. They'll be like, well, should we... Why can't we get the SIS some bloody mattresses or something nice? They can't shoot into every bush, so you sleep in a bush, but if you're in a tent, the bad guys will just pop

a few rounds into the tent. Well, the only thing I can suggest to them is popping on a pair of socks. Drift off to sleep. Yeah. Fresh pair of socks. Well, you're not taking your socks

or your boots off in the SIS, are you? You've got to have your boots on. Or the snakes will get in. You've got to be ready to go. Yeah, exactly. You've got to be ready to go. Yeah, exactly. You've got to be ready to go at any moment. This we know about the SAS.

All right, 13 past six, next on the show, with a lot of us now in level three and two, working from home, there's been a study, and this study was apparently even pre-COVID, why it's bad to work from home. And it's nothing to do with like biscuits and cakes Or Prosecco in the fridge ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan

The podcast Made a coffee Okay In the kitchen And I was talking to Rachel Jackson Who reads our news She's at the news desk I said anything

Hot off the press Regarding New Zealand's COVID-19 status And she said no No like early morning drip feeds of information. She thinks it's still going to be a 1 p.m. downpour, all the information we need today. I can't wait that long. I want to eat some little bits this morning. Yeah, I need a little taste too.

What do they call those little bites? Morsels. No, a bite you have before a mousse en bouche. Rum ball. You know the mousse maison bouche? A mousse bouche. A mousse bouche. What does a mousse bouche do?

A mousse bouche, which I'm saying wrong, and someone will correct me very shortly, is a little sort of morsel of food you have before, like a degustation, and it is to prepare your palate for the meals. Does it cleanse from the previous course? A mousse bouche. You're talking to people that just normally do the main meal Hayley with fries on the side.

I've done a degustation or two and I'm always like this isn't going to be enough and then after 10 courses you're like yeah you're left reeling. Well day two of lockdown three for Auckland and lockdown level two for the rest of the country. And a lot of people will be working from home. Although you said the traffic today coming in was not...

Yesterday, the traffic coming in was far busier than I would have expected and probably busier than usual. But I think a lot of people might have just been nipping into work to get what they needed. You saw them setting up a checkpoint. But I did see what looked to be them setting up a checkpoint. Whereabouts was that? Out was the...

What am I supposed to say? I feel like one of those people on the community page that's like, hey, if you're thinking of being an asshole, I'm dream driving home, avoid home. Oh, God. What was the one I read? My road. Oh, my road.

Yeah. Well, anyway, a lot of people working from home. And Nicholas Bloom, he's in the news. He has done a lot of research. He's an economist at the Stanford University. And he has done a lot of research on working from home, even before last year and the global pandemic hit. This is his bag, his thing.

This is his passion. And he surveyed a lot of people about working from home and those, they call it mixed mode, where offices might have, say, four people or five people working in the office and five people at home for most of the week. Maybe they'll come into the office for big, big meetings every now and again.

And apparently working from home three or four days a week could be worth up to an 8% pay rise, some people think. Well, that's what they value that at. Well, that's because you're not travelling, right? No. People are stuck in traffic. Wasn't it that you eliminated driving from your job or tour from your job, the commute,

and it gave you the same pleasure as something like a 15% or 20% pay rise. Yeah, it's ridiculous. And so a lot of workplaces, apparently the average cost in America for cutting out somebody to work from home is $600. Like a one-off? A one-off, yes. So it must be maybe for like computer table and set up. Right.

So they do that and then they don't need to buy as much office space. Yeah. But the other thing is that another study that he did in China found that people that worked from home missed out on promotions by 50% less. Because people in the office are the ones greasing up to the kiss and ask with the boss. That's right. Hitting those Friday drinks and being friendly. You might have a Zoom meeting, but then the Zoom meeting ends,

you're at home doing your thing, but the people in the office have a bit more of a chat. Then they might be like, oh, let's go to the cafe across the road or let's go out for lunch. And so they miss that kind of... Yeah, that face-to-face interaction. If you're working from home, it's probably due to the fact that you can't just pop out to cafes

and have Friday drinks and that sort of stuff, right? You might have your kids or something like that. Or they're shut because it's a pandemic. No, this is before the pandemic. Oh, this was before. That's what I'm saying. It's all before the pandemic. This research.

I just didn't think it was a viewed, a done thing much before the pandemic. No, this was surveyed with places that did mixed model, half from home, half at work. So, because I remember after that first big lockdown that we did, that companies were reporting that productivity from working

from home was higher than usual. And that's the other thing, is that the stigma's gone now from working from home. Because it used to be oh, Hayley's working from home. She's just lazy. She's hungover. Yeah, she's phoning it in. But there's none of that now.

That's gone. So you can not feel bad about working from home. You don't even have to be hungover. You can still be drunk. Wow, you could be getting actively drunker. Yeah. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM.

From the vulnerable ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. Hello there. The COVID-19 virus has got a couple of variants. Well-known variants, the UK variant, which is here in Aotearoa now. This is the latest case. So everybody scan in, wash your hands, be bloody careful. If you went there, if you're feeling sick, get a test, stay home. Yeah.

All of the above. And kudos to those that lined up for four hours or more yesterday to get a test in some place. Yes. I know. Good on you. But there's bad news is there could be US variants. Vaughan, why are you bringing us down? We're just trying to bring a bit of positivity to the world, Vaughan.

You're coming in here with your variants. Can we talk about something else? We can't ignore it because it won't go away. That was my tactic this whole time. I know, apparently that doesn't work. Well, Southern California is the origin of a new variant and they reckon there's probably other variants spreading throughout the US

as the UK variant is on track to become the most popular COVID-19 virus in the US. Wow. They're always getting the latest stuff over there, aren't they? They are. So I've got the top six names. I've just been brainstorming some names for the

US variants of the COVID-19. Number six, the white bite. Because it's spread mostly by white people who didn't believe COVID-19. Number six, the white bite. Okay. Because it's spread mostly by white people who didn't believe COVID-19 was a thing.

And it'll bite you, it'll get you right in the throat there. Nip, nip, nip. Number five on the list of the top six names for the US variant, the Walmart-cha departure.

Oh, yeah. You depart this world after being at Walmart because you couldn't stick to social distancing. That's also where all those videos are coming out, people refusing to wear masks and being asked to leave. Walmart is a hub of culture, isn't it?

Cultures, yeah. Like bacterial cultures and virus now in the mix as well. Number three on the list of the top six names for the US variant of COVID-19, the Hicksick. Oh, yeah. Because it's Hicks that spread it, basically. It's people who couldn't follow basic rules.

Basic, you know, very, very easy rules to follow. Number three on the list of the top six names for the US variant of COVID-19, because a lot of it has been happening in Florida, the Flu Rotter. Oh, okay. Very a lot of it has been happening in Florida, the flu rotter. Oh, okay. Yeah, putting flu into the title, but also getting a little bit of geographical

lockdown there happening. Number two on the list of the top six names for the US variant of COVID-19, the red, white, and blue flu. Oh, yeah. Because you know how... Like the flag? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Why not just red, white, and flu? Red, white, and flu also works. Yeah, because you go not just red, white and flu? Red, white and flu also works. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, because you go a bit red, don't you? And then you're white because you're dead and you've lost all the colour and your blood's not circulating around your body anymore. And number one on the list of the top six names for the US variant of the COVID-19 strand that has apparently started there, the redneck lung wreck.

So if you're a redneck and you've been ignoring all the rules, it's not going to end well for your lungs. Not well at all. That's today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A survey has revealed the top trait people look for in a potential partner. Can you guess? What's your top trait?

I don't know. You're a bum man, aren't you? What were you just? Are we talking physical traits? No. No, personality or abilities. Well, good personality, like funny. So funny is yours, Vaughn? Oh, shit.

He doesn't give a damn what comes out of that mouth. I'll take him at his word. He's looking at you. This guy is as shallow as a puddle after a light rain. For humour and you're looking for buzzies. Is that it? I mean, that's what you were inferring. He was inferring that, wasn't he?

Well, this survey has revealed that the number one trait people look for in a partner is whether they are a good cook or not. I get that. I can understand that. But this is outrageous to me. Whether they're a good cook is the number one thing that people are looking for. This is ahead of someone I can trust.

Yes. Someone who makes me laugh. Where was Buzzy's on the list? Intelligent. Yep. And someone I respect. They were all fourth and fifth. Wow, okay.

And number one was ability to cook. Can your partner cook? Your fiancé, Gregor from Nova? Gregor from Nova. Look, he's getting better as time goes on, but when we first started dating, the boy couldn't boil an egg. Was this his mum's fault? Was he

modiculted? I cannot blame this on my mother-in-law, Jeanette, because her other children are great cooks. So I think Aaron just sort of got a bit. Fell through the gaps. Fell through the cracks there, but he's better now. He is better now. You're pretty good at cooking.

I really enjoy cooking. You love it. Yeah, that's hot. Yeah. Because do you do a lot of the family meals? Not, no, not really. Okay. But I do do my share, but I don't do like.

Right. I don't do it every night or anything. I did baking yesterday. I made cookies. Yeah, tell me more about that. And where are they? There's not many left. That's what I like.

There's not many left. I like how quickly everybody slips back into those lockdown habits. I was like, lockdown. Oh, well, I'll just make cookies. People are saying that it's not only an attractive trait, but it's actually for them a turn on. It is sexy to see someone in the kitchen. Is it managing multiple things?

You've got a few things on the go. It's just like cooking is an act of caring and dedication. It is nurture, isn't it? Nurturing a meal. And I guess you kind of see it as somebody who can, you know, going forward when you've got dependents they can provide as well. They're going to be able to help you out.

Within the same survey revealed 56% of people said that food and cooking is their love language. What's that? Is that acts of service or gifts? That's, it would be acts of service. I show love through cooking.

Yeah. For sure. So you're a feeder. I'm a real feeder. I just feed him up. Feed him up, yeah. I'm cooking what he bloody well wants. Yeah, have some more.

Yeah. You still hungry? You are, aren't you? Let's get these photos on the internet. Yeah, you want another slice of that meatloaf? Oh, yes, meatloaf. Well known for its sexy factor. Real sexy.

Flesh, fauna, Megan. The podcast. ZM. Now. Stop. Oh yes, meatloaf Well known for its sexy factor Now! Stop! Okay Oi! That's how I Is that how you tell off the girls? That's how I Well they're always

Well yesterday We were trying to watch the presser Oh yep To get some information And they were being so loud And I was like Oi! Did that a couple of times

Because they were at the other end of the house But they were being so noisy They couldn't hear like, I did that a couple of times because they were at the other end of the house, but they were being so noisy they couldn't hear my oying. So I did the most annoying, this is my wife told me it was annoying, that loud. So I tried to out loud them from distance. And your poor wife is just surrounded by loud.

And they're just like laughing and fighting. And I'm like, Hey, hey, quiet. Which is worse probably. Who wrongs don't make a riot. It's like when someone shushes and then the most prominent noise in a crowd is everybody shushing. Shush. Yeah.

I know I do that. I mean, everyone's like, you can't shush someone else's baby. Yes, I can. Yeah. And then everyone's shushing you. Shush, shush, shush. And shush. Yep.

So this is a telling off. But no, I don't, I've said it before or I'll say it again. We've got some of the best listeners around. Oh, we do. Who's this telling off aim tag? We just don't have asshole listeners.

That's a fact. I ran a poll. You ran a poll. I ran a poll. I also, I have to agree actually in the very short time that I've been here. Gosh, you people are nice.

They are nice. They're bloody nice. They're very well trained. And they didn't even know they were being trained. That's you people are nice. They are nice. They're bloody nice. We're very well trained. And they didn't even know they were being trained. That's how we did that. But they're good people. So do the Earth people. So this is on us now to stop this sort of thing happening if we see

this. Okay. The spokesperson for Countdown, Kitty, who we know. We've chatted to her on the phone in the last lockdown. We've talked to her. That's right. And we got very interesting stats. She said there was quite a serious incident in one of our Auckland stores, and it was racial abuse.

Now, I'm not sure what anybody's race has to do with the amount of time that you would have to wait or being in a line. That's regardless of the race of anybody working anywhere. That's going to happen if a whole bunch of people storm a supermarket at the same time because they think they need 18 rolls of toilet paper. We talked about this yesterday when they announced that lockdown was happening.

I looked out the window and I saw people hooning for the supermarket. And then when we finished the show yesterday, I went to the supermarket. There were literally three finished the show yesterday, I went to the supermarket. There were literally three people in the supermarket and all the shelves were full. I was like, why did you bother? I know.

Like a crazy rush. Unless people were scared to go out because of COVID. I don't know. But I was like, there's no need to rush to supermarkets. I know. And all the supermarkets are coming out saying, please, we have plenty. They're not running out of anything.

And it's three days and it's level three and it's everybody calm down, but to racially abuse somebody is absolutely unwarranted and unacceptable and terrible. Good telling off from you. Good telling off. Stop it. Coming up on the show, comedian Bill Bailey joins us from quarantine via Zoom. I wonder which quarantine he's in. Surely they put him in a fancy one.

No, you don't know that. I don't give any special treatment. Yeah, I know, but probably, you know. Did they bust him off the road? They wouldn't put him in the jet, would they? What? Okay, so he's not in the jet park. I don't think he's in the jet park.

We're going to catch up with him. He's doing a comedy show around the country, going pretty much everywhere starting mid-March. We'll sort it out by then. Oh, it'll be done. It'll be locked. Don't you worry, Bill. Absolutely sorted.

Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. ZM's $50,000 secret sound. The secret sound is... ZM's $50,000 Secret Sound. ZM's $50,000 Secret Sound is all thanks to Star launching Feb 23 on Disney+. More movies, more episodes, more originals. You can check out Disney Plus on Insta for more details. Now, just quickly to point out, on Instagram, ZM Secret Sound. If you follow that account, we'll update you with clues as the competition goes on.

And the guesses in case you miss any. Yeah, so the guesses yesterday. A whipped cream can trigger, you know, a bit of a... Here comes the whipped cream. Oh, yeah, but that's got more of a gurgle, like a... Yeah, there's no gurgle in that sound. Next up was Velcro being pulled apart. No.

Clip on a suitcase. No. Nasal swab test package ripping open. So 2021. So slash 20. Very topical. No. No.

Water coming out of a tap. And an airbed valve when you release it. All those guesses incorrect. Good guesses though. Yes. Now, Hayley, you were away yesterday. Yes. But you can see through the window. I can. Soundkeeper Owls, good morning. Morning,

morning. Hi, day two. Day two. Now we started with a jackpot yesterday of a dollar and just because we didn't know if we could trust an intern. Oh, of course. We didn't know you from a bar of soap. Yeah, fair. Current jackpot $10,000. It's getting a bit serious now.

I've got money to give away. I was thinking about it yesterday when I left work. I was like, we are really trusting an intern here. $10,000. And when it gets to $50,000, if you were a radio intern, would you have gone halves with your friends? Oh. Absolutely.

Absolutely. No, I can't. I can't do it. Because it's your career. It's your job on the line, isn't it? Do you have any student debt, Elmo? Yes. Yes.

You want it though, don't you? You want it. You want that debt. Nope, no thanks. All right. We welcome Maddie. Good morning, Maddie. Welcome to Secret Sound.

Hi, how's it going? Good, good. All right. Well, this is the sound. Hi, how's it going? Good, good. All right, well, this is the sound. $10,000 is all yours if you can tell us what that is. I think it might be a nail file, like putting a nail across the, yeah, one of those nail file things. Hayley screwed up her face. No, I feel like you must have very thick and callous nails if that's

the sound it's making. But you know, maybe you work with your hands. Yeah, fair. Tradey or something. It's a starting point. You're right, you get these things eliminated early, Maddie. Yeah, well, Maddie, I can tell you you walk away with some money, but that is $100 because it's not the secret.

Nope. Alright, well, Maddie, $100. Well done., but that is $100 because it's not the secret sound. Nope. All right, well, Maddie, $100. Well done. We're giving everybody $100 even if you get it wrong. Not bad, eh? Yeah, not bad. Thank you for that.

No worries, Maddie. All right, well, that's another guess on the list. I guess it helps us get closer to that secret sound. Now, your next chance is coming up at 8 o'clock and we play right throughout the day as well. Your chance to get through at 7, 8, 11, 1, 4, and 5. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. It's the second day of Level 3 for Aucklanders,

Level 2 for the rest of the country. Still haven't had an update, have we? Nah. Expecting that probably just to be all out with the press briefing. You've got Jacinda's number, though. Couldn't you give her a wee text? I will, eh? Yeah.

Come on. Okay, he has messaged the Prime Minister on Instagram for way stupider and less things. Yeah, totally. And she replies. Go on. Stop it, she's busy. Cindy, Cindy.

She's never too busy to listen to the show. Don't encourage him. Cindy. What's the last thing you messaged the Prime Minister about? I'll have a phone. I'm not even kidding. It's the most, always the stupidest things.

Hold on, here she is. Oh my God. Do you ever get a proper holiday? What did she say to that? Do you ever get a proper holiday? Feels like you're that mate that's always on call and can't get drunk at New Year's in case they have to go to work. Yeah, pretty much.

Phone is always on. I said, didn't stop Rob Muldoon, and he was a great Prime Minister. Oh, my gosh. You are out of control. Rob Muldoon, how good was Muldoon? That drunk old crazy bastard. He called an election drunk, didn't he? Yeah, he did.

I can win an election anytime. Could you imagine that kind of leadership in COVID times? It would be a bit of a wild ride, wouldn't it? Wouldn't be fun. Yeah, they'd be here for it. So I've got a friend saying at the moment, they're staying in the spare room while they, because they've just moved to Auckland, back to Auckland,

and they're looking for a flat, and it's crazy at the moment trying to find a flat. So I was like, hey, you just have the spare room until you find somewhere. Knock yourself out. You're a good man. Basically, yeah. What a beautiful friend.

Yeah, and not even charging rent or like a shower fee. Oh, yeah. That's always hard, though. And a utilities fee. But at what point do they cross the line where they've been there for too long that you do have to sort of broach the subject of chipping in for power? This is unlike you. What do you mean it's unlike me?

Yeah, free water usage. Yeah, unlike you. Stay power. This is unlike you. What do you mean it's unlike me? Free water usage, yeah, unlike you. Staying for nothing, unlike you. What do you mean it's unlike me? Where have you got the webcams hidden and what address are they streaming to? I'm not giving you that address, Paul. It's fine. I always think people have the spare room. Okay.

That's what it's there for. So anyway, I noticed something odd when I went to work yesterday. The door was slightly ajar and I could see the light streaming in from the city lights at like 4.30 in the morning when I woke up. Because you're very central, aren't you? Yeah, and initially I was like, oh my God, this dirty dog has snuck out and is staying at someone else's house. But then I was like, oh no, it's level three.

And then I had a little peek and they were in, he was asleep in the bed. So I was like, well, I'll just go to work. And then when I got home. Did you give him a sniff

on the way out? Yeah. Peeking through his open door. I just watched him, I just watched him, I just watched him sleep. I watched him sleep. I wake up early

to get 20 minutes of watching him sleep. I spent 10 minutes watching him sleep. No, 10 minutes watching him sleep. No, and then I got home and I was like, do you? I was like, your curtains were open. The blinds were open this morning. He's like, yeah, I always sleep with the blinds open.

Oh, no. And I was like, you? I was like, you what? He's like, yeah, I always sleep wherever I sleep with the blinds open. Is that not the craziest? That is crazy. Like when we stayed the other week in New Plymouth at the hotel, I had to go into the wardrobe and get the little coat hanger

with the clips on it just to clip the top of the curtain because the light was coming in just a little too early. Oh, I do that. You're trying to get that two to meet. Yeah. Because I hate it. Because getting up at 4 a.m. now doing this job, the sun's not up, but it's not about the sun for me.

It's the privacy. And it's the idea of peeping eyes. Yeah. Though sometimes it can be happening in your own house, as we've just seen. You know, the ability for someone just to look in, even if you're in a sky rise. I'm like, oh, no.

Yeah. No, see, it's not about that. I just don't like light when I'm going to sleep. Like, I used to live in a place that had a security camera motion sensor in the corner. And when there was motion and you moved it, it blinked red. So I Blu-Tacked over that. And when I had a TV in my room with the little red dot, I put a bit of tape over that. Oh, yeah.

Because I don't like any lights. You want to have one of those like sensory deprivation type sleeps. Because you wear earplugs as well. Sometimes, yeah. So you don't want to hear or see nothing. Yeah, I'm just like, I'm going to sleep. I'm in the zone. Wow.

I had a reoccurring nightmare when I was a child that there was a vampire out the window. Of course you did. So for a while I slept with the curtains a little bit open, but then I realised that I'd be able to see the vampire and it was better if the curtains were shut because then if he was there there I still couldn't see him Yeah and he probably wouldn't be interested

You know he wouldn't be standing there Excuse me I'd be very attracted to vampires Look at me I'm full of blood Because he sees Thor and he's like oh He's like what do I see Oh no This is pasty little child

This disgusting pasty little child Will not be good eating I don't want to suck his blood Oh yuck look at the little fatty Sting-pasty little child. Will not be good eating. I don't want to suck his blood. Yuck, look at the little fatty. I'm sweating a little bit. I'm so excited. Comedian Bill Bailey, he's in New Zealand.

He joins us now via Zoom. Good morning, Bill. Good morning. Now, you're currently in quarantine. Yes, I am. I knew that, judging by the quality of that artwork hanging on the wall behind you. That could only be one of New Zealand's fine motel hotels. Yes.

I think it's called Four Random Flowers, just bunged together. So have you got a good one? Because you've got a big window there. Is it a nice room? I've got a, look, I've got a little balcony, which is about six feet long. And it allows me, when the weather's good, to sit out there.

And cough on people. And just cough, just willy-nilly over everyone that goes past. And of course, being from the UK UK I bring the extremely contagious and very very highly infectious British variant possibly, when this announcement happened this morning, I thought oh no, it's me it's me

this is me I've stopped the America's Cup from going ahead, there's queues of people the whole of Auckland's gone into lockdown. New Zealand is now paralysed, traumatised by another lockdown. And I was thinking, I'm just going to keep my head down because this could be me. And then, thank God, I saw the thing on the news this morning.

The infection was not linked to an MIQ quarantine. Woo-hoo! That's you on the hook. Yes. All right. Is it amazing for you coming from the UK where it's only now they're talking about introducing quarantine

and seeing this response in New Zealand? Honestly, it's like coming from the past, from some country. Well, it is. We have resolutely and completely, utterly failed to contain this virus in the UK. And only now the government have thought, wait a second, there's all these people turning up at the airport. What should we do? We should test them.

And now, only now have they got this idea that perhaps we should quarantine them. So coming here was a real revelation. It's just a testament of how well this country and you have done to contain the virus. Because, you know, there's that welcome pack and there's... The whole thing runs like a very well-oiled machine. Back home, there's government ministers

trying to book Airbnbs, trying to sort of, you know, like, literally all the hotels in the airport are booked. They don't know what the, it's chaos. It's utter chaos. So it's fantastic to be here. So your shows, you're going all over the country. Your tickets are on sale now, but you're going to have,

I don't know how many days have you got left in quarantine? You're going to have a little bit of time to see the sites? I don't know. I'm going to be here, what? I mean, I've done it even days. I don't even know what day it is now. Yeah. I think your first show is like four weeks away.

Oh, that's all right. Well, hopefully everything will be died down by then. Yeah, hopefully I will be able to, yeah, I'd like to get out. I'd like to get out and do some normal things. You know, we've just been stuck indoors for like a year back home. So, you know, the chance to get out will be great. Get on a paddle board, go down and, you know, see some wildlife or something.

That'll be good. What was the flight over here like? I mean, mostly it would probably have been Kiwis coming home or people transiting through. What are airports and things like at the moment? I mean, you know, there's nothing open. There's no one there. It's like, you know, there's nothing open. There's no one there. It's like, you know, it's just deserted.

I mean, the only one that's any different was at Heathrow. It's like, yeah, come on. There you go. That's it. What do you want? Where do you want to go? Get something? The shops are open.

Yeah, go on, help yourself. Then we got to, I came via Doha in Qatar. And there was no one there. And then we just sort of were corralled in their little room and then got on the plane. And then we got to, in fact, all the British passengers were sent down a different route. I thought, this is a bit of a, is this some glimpse into the future

about how Brits are going to be seen globally as some kind of pariahs, you know, carriers of the plague. Or you pass and just go, you British, oh no, you go through that special sheep dip. You have to be sprayed. You don't mind

tripping off and getting to a shower, that's fine. And so then we got to Brisbane and then we got corralled again into a little tent and then got on a bus and I was sent here to Mangere, which is, you know, I've got to say, it's nice. It's not

too bad. The only thing is that, you know, I'm getting a kind of Pavlovian drool reaction now when I hear the knock at the door of food. Feeding time. Running at the doors. You have to remember to put clothes on.

You know, that's very important. Otherwise, it causes there'll be a scene. Well, Wellington, the 13th of March, Michael Fowler scene, maybe the Wellington audience might just need to give you a minute at the start there. Yeah a scene. Well, Wellington, the 13th of March, Michael Fowler scene, maybe the Wellington audience might just need to give you a minute at the start there

just to cry. Yeah, absolutely. That'll be the first one. Yep. There might be some crying and... It's like COVID-induced stage fright. You're like,

no, I can't do this anymore, actually. It's a different world. I can't. Oh, I don't like it. There's too many people. Yeah. So, yeah. I mean, I'll be right.

I mean, I've been there many times before. So, you know, I've come here, I mean, I've't like it. There's too many people. Yeah. So, yeah. I mean, I'll be right. I mean, I've been there many times before. So, you know, I've come here. I mean, I've been coming here now. This is my 25th year travelling to New Zealand. Wow. So, yeah. So it's kind of a milestone.

So I didn't want to miss out. All right. Well, billbailey.co.uk for the ticket details. Touring all over the country. And Bill, we'll leave you to get back to your managed isolation and enjoy your freedom when that happens. Woo! You can take that painting too, if you want.

That's a little gift from us to you. Yeah, why not? Oh, okay. Thanks. A little free little reminder. Yeah. A small memento. Thanks, Bill.

Yeah. Cheers, mate. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. So, good news. Good morning. Yeah, Bill. Yeah. Cheers, mate. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. So, good news. Good morning. Good morning. Ashley Bloomfield has revealed that another close contact has returned a negative test.

Oof. So, for the first test, because they'll have to be tested, they'll have to remain isolated, right? Yeah, I believe so, yeah. So, for their first test, they they'll have to be tested. They'll have to remain isolated, right? Yeah, I believe so, yeah. So for their first test, they have returned a negative test. And we're still waiting on the vast majority of tests that were done yesterday, which we're assuming will be at the briefing.

But fantastic. I find it interesting, eh, that this strand, it's a very New Zealand way of thinking, being like, yeah, we'll tackle it. But this strand is this hyper-contagious strand, it's a very New Zealand way of thinking, being like, yeah, we'll tackle it. But this strand is this hyper contagious strand of it. And yet we've managed to escape. Well, so far. So 42, they have said there are 42 close contacts.

33 of them are students and teachers from the high school. Nine are non-high school close contacts. 11 of these 42 people have returned negative tests yesterday, and the 12th negative test after school came back last night. So that's the current tally there. I'm going to remain optimistic, as I do in life. As you do, yeah. You actually experienced, because you were this week filming for TVNZ Breakfast.

Yes, I was. That was cut short. You had to drive back into Auckland yesterday. Yes. And you saw firsthand people being turned away from the police checkpoints. I was on the front line. And people with boats. Yeah.

There were people with boats. I saw the photos and videos of the checkpoint of people with boats and caravans and trailer loads of holiday stuff. They weren't even being subtle about it at all. So I drove from Palmy to Auckland with the TVNZ crew in a camper van. Yeah, that looked... How many people ripped the fingers because you were going 80?

We were getting... the whole way there. She was a heavy girl. Anyway, we got stopped. The traffic came maybe, I think we were at like a standstill for about half an hour, which I didn't think was too bad by the time we got to Mercer.

And then the process at the border for us was pretty straightforward. We all had proof of address and ID and that kind of stuff, and we got shuffled. But what you couldn't see coming the other way in Mercer, where the thingy is, was anyone getting through.

And that's because that one was chocker. So people trying to leave Auckland was backed up for kilometres and kilometres and kilometres. Like we drove and drove and drove and the queue was at an absolute standstill. People were out of their cars. But yeah, I have to say there was a lot of camper vans and people with boats on their trailers. And there's a little turnaround at the checkpoint and a lot of people were just getting sent straight back round.

Wow. Yeah. Because you have to show that you were heading to your primary residence. So if you're leaving Auckland, you are going home. If you're returning to Auckland, you are coming home. So if you're heading to the batch or just trying to escape for a holiday. Maybe just try to at least cover the boat. Yeah, make it look like a tank.

Make it look like a tank. Yeah. Got to get home to the old military and... Yeah. You know, that's where this tank goes. And then the wind comes through and blows the cover off and you're like, oh, my God, I've been sold a dud. It's a boat.

What? It's not a tank. How the hell did that get there? Keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier. As it heralds new podcasts, the front page is your short, sharp, daily news podcast. Join me Damien Venuto every weekday

morning as I chat with journalists and newsmakers going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest news stories of the day. Listen to the front page at nzherald.co.nz slash podcasts and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. Kia ora, I'm Simon Bound and I host Business is Boring, a podcast that reckons it's anything but. Join me each week as I chat with some of the most interesting and inspirational players in the Aotearoa business scene and learn what it takes to make it happen from accidental

entrepreneurs to the brains behind some of the country's biggest brands. If you're into business or want to be, then make sure you follow Business is Boring wherever you get your podcasts. Brought to you by the Spinoff Podcast Network in partnership with Sparklab. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. We found out this little chestnut the other day that producer Jared and the Middy, who have been together how long since official? I want to say like end of November. We were official, but... Let's count December, January, February.

So three months. So not even three months? Wow, that's fresh. Yeah. And you said the other day when we were together, you said, oh, great news, guys, I've got the flat. We were like, all right. And then you were like

yeah this is really good and I was like who is moving into this flat and then Executive Internanya is like like you have to tell them

something that I already know and it was very reminiscent of the time that when Mountie was away Executive Internanya accidentally told us

that Mountie was vegetarian which she Intern Anya accidentally told us that Mountie was vegetarian, which she'd been keeping very quiet. Oh, wow. Probably sure there'd be some chives. Did you get roasted alive for that one?

Yeah. Roasted like a delicious piece of animal flesh. Oh, yeah, beautiful. But then, it was at that stage that Jared's like, oh, yeah,

this guy I'm already living with and Emma's moving in and we were like, oh, what? He's moving in with the middie. Yeah. After three months.

I know. And it must have been two months because he's been looking for a little while. And it must have been two months when they decided they were going to live together. Love is love. When you know, you know. Have you both farted in front of each other? I haven't heard her fart, but she has been blessed with my fart. You're too early.

Have you had a good, like, proper argument? Nah, see, we've tried. You've got nowhere to run when you have your first proper argument! You're in the world! Like you say, though, love is love. Was the fact that rent would be so

much cheaper any factor in this? It was a partial factor. We were both looking for a flat at the same time. Yep, right. Convenience. We were planning on, like, moving in together at the end of the year if we were, like, still together, obviously. Right, yep.

But, hey, why not now? You're both looking. It's cheaper. I mean, Aaron and I have been together for 10 years, but we moved in maybe seven or eight months after we first started dating, and that was just the very romantic reason of both of our leases ran out at the same time. I love those cute stories.

Sort of the same thing, like looking for a flat at the same time. Do you think you'll say this story at your wedding? Yeah. Yeah, both of the leases ran out. Why did you guys stay together? Our leases were just up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, both of the leases ran out. Why did you guys stay together? Our leases were just up. Yeah.

Nana Hayley, tell us the story. Ira, you and Greg Grover from Nova moved in together. It was a really romantic story. We both signed a contract six months and they ran out. But I remember,

like, because you've got to do the big things first before you move in. So before you move in, Jarrett, you've got to pick an argument and you've got to make it a big one

and you've got to stink out that and you've got to make it a big one and you've got to stink out that loo because I remember when I was first dating Aaron, I used to go home with the most, women will feel me on this, with the most painful stomach from holding in farts for like 48 hours

for two days. Because you didn't want to fart in front of him. So I would be staying at Aaron's house for maybe a couple of nights and then I'd be like, it's time to go home, maybe time for a bit of space. But I'd get in the car and just be like,

brrrr. Like two days, like I might, I'd have nuts. The guys don't care, you should have just done it. Oh, now it's absolute free for all. But at the early days,

I was trying to be a pretty petite lady. Yeah. Well, I did want to say, how long was it before you moved in together, but maybe we should take calls on what you should do before you move in together. Oh, yes. Things you should experience. Yes.

I believe you should have a proper argument before you move in together because you've got to have somewhere to retreat to to be like, okay, this is how that argument went. Good, can I see myself arguing with this person and not being able to get more than 10 metres away from them? It has to be an argument

so bad that it ends with like, well, maybe we should just break up. Because you said, Sarah, you're crying. Can I just pull you up on that? You did say we've tried

to have a fight. So there's been a few things that I've expected an argument to come out of. Like what? Hard to think. It's like, I want to cook meat and she Like what? Hard to think. It's like, I want to cook meat and she doesn't want me

to cook meat, but I'm going to cook meat or I leave the toilet seat up. It's just like the little things that ex-girlfriends would have reamed me for. Yeah.

I mean, for God's sake, put the toilet seat down. It's 2021. Get a grip. All right. Okay, well, let's take your calls. 0800 DALES at M.

You can text as well, 9696. Before you move in with your partner, what should you do? Like, what should you have done? Because maybe you've got a story of you moved in with your partner and you hadn't seen them stack a dishwasher. Oh! Nothing hot about that. No, but if they do it wrong.

If they do it wrong, they're out. Oh, yeah. You don't want to be moving in with someone if they stack a dishwasher wrong. If they put a bowl, like, just higgledy-piggledy. So we found out producer Jared is moving in with a girlfriend after three months. And they haven't even had a proper fight yet. I know. Not a argument.

Argument, yeah. I don't want it to sound physical in nature. Well, there's lots that they haven't done. No, no. They've been together such a short time. We are writing now the ultimate list of things you should do with your partner before you move in together. Now, Aaron, what are you suggesting you should always do before you move in? Mate, I reckon if you can put together a big, safe, flat-packed furniture set, you're golden.

Yeah, so anything kit set. Yeah, it teaches them a lot about you. In your case, Aaron, being the male, it would teach her if you can follow instructions or you think you're better than them. I mean, there's always that power struggle of who knows how to do shit better. And no better place than that power struggle will reveal itself than flat pack furniture.

Yeah, mate, or a Lego set, but I mean, flat pack's just adult Lego. And I mean, if you watch kids argue together trying to put

together Lego, well, I mean, adults are just the same putting together. That's a really good point. Oh, my God.

What is that game that you and your wife can't play Cranium or any board game that exists yeah we're not allowed either

you should play Cranium that's a great idea actually play a challenging board game Aaron thank you some text messages somebody said I mean this is a hard one

to do at the moment but everybody should travel with their partner before moving in together that's a whole new world good way you put a bit of stress on the situation. I love seeing a good couple argument

in a foreign city. Same. Someone said, you should also know if his mother's likely to turn up unannounced three times a week before you move in together. That sounds very specific.

Yeah. It does. Yeah. Also, that is something you want to know. We're talking about making a definitive list of things you should do specific. Yeah. It does sound, yeah. Also, that is something you want to know. We're talking about making a definitive list of things you should do before you move in with your partner to know if you're the sort of couple that can cohabitate.

Yeah, producer Jared's just moving in with, only after three months with the middie. Yeah. And they haven't even had a major fight yet. No, he said he has had some mini provoked. He's been baiting. Baiting. Baiting.

I think you've got to get, do a real, a big one. Yeah. You know, like an accusation. Oh yeah. That's always a good start

or something you need to do with trust. Or leave a wet towel on the floor every day. We don't want to lead to a murder. Yeah,

be strangled by a towel. So we're putting the list together of things you should do before you move in together. Lisa, what should you always do before you move in together? You should always experience a spew bag first. Oh, no! Yeah, it really shows if they're a hair holder or an avoider. My partner's definitely an avoider.

So what does he do when you're spewing in the toilet? Does he just like, you love, you're right? Well, the first time I actually didn't make it out of bed and I got caught up in the bedding and he got out to help me and spewed on top of it and ran off to the bathroom without me. So you know your partner now, he's a sympathy spewer. No, he just would avoid it always.

Right. The next time I got one, I was in the shower and he just handed me the shower head and went, sorry, can't help you. Oh, my gosh. How many spew bugs are you getting yourself? Are you washing your hands? Are you doing a lot of hot rotisserie chickens?

Yeah, do you like your chicken medium rare? No, I'm a teacher. Small children. Oh, my God. You poor person. You're always bringing it home. I think it's not a... Lisa, thanks. You call Andrew. What should you always do before you move in with someone? You should 100%

have a meal with your partner with no noise, no radio, no TV, just so you know what kind of eater they are. Yes! Yes, Andrew, you don't want to move in and your only experience with eating is in a noisy restaurant or with the TV blaring, and then you find out that they're one of these people.

Or they do, me and my brother used to call it the hom, where they go, hom, hom, hom. If I hear a hom, I'm out, I'm moving out. It's a deal breaker. Absolutely. Andrew, thanks for your call. Some other text messages in. You should come home blind drunk after a night out without them

where you haven't told them where you are. Oh, far out. That's triggering for me. But you're the one that's coming home drunk without telling. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Yeah.

Somebody said you should probably be together for longer than a week. And they said, oh, by this face. You probably want to be together longer than a week. See how they fold a bath towel. I've been with my man for four years. He still can't do it. If I'd known this before we moved in together, I probably wouldn't

have bothered. Really? I do that one where you go into a three. So you go half. That's too hard. I go half, half, half. No, I love that. Do you go half? You go half, half, half. No, I go half long ways. Yes.

And then half. Yeah. And then three. And then go three. That's the only way to do it. That's the only way. And my mum's always like, you're not folding your bath towels right. I'm like, you should.

Wait, do you put yours into squares, not rectangles? Yep. I know. Half, half, half. And then because they all face, they look real nice. They do. I know. I love a stack.

I rolled mine for a while. Oh, no. But then Sade wasn't rolling. And if you've got a, they look real nice. They do. I know. I love their stack. I rolled mine for a while. Oh, no. But then Sade wasn't rolling. And if you've got a half roll, half fold. A fold and a roll. A fold and a roll doesn't go together. That's not synergy. No, that's not at all.

Someone said go away for a long weekend with no one else around where it's nice and quiet and there's no technology. Oh, and they have to talk to you. Yeah. And see if they can. Yeah. I mean, you can. See what they're like with no Instagram or Facebook.

Do you know what would be the real giveaway, and it's almost too late, is on the day, moving house. That's a stress. The trailer's on, no one knows how to back it. You're loading furniture on your own. It's a breeding ground. You've got to have someone in your partnership that can back a trailer. One of the two must be able to. Really? I don't care

what gender it is, but someone's got to be able to back the trailer. Yeah. Someone said go camping. It's the ultimate. And it to. Really? I don't care what gender it is, but someone's got to be able to make the trailer. Yeah. Someone said go camping. It's the ultimate. Oh, yes. And it is. It is. Because you've got the, like we talked to the caller before about the flat pack, putting up a tent.

Yep. Then you've got the survival. Or even just seeing if they can handle like a long drop at the dock hut. Yes. In the close proximity, there's nowhere to move in a tent. Will they go to the bathroom with you when it's dark? Will they prioritize you to have the torch? How do they put the extra effort into hygiene

when they're camping? That's a really, actually that's really good. And if they want to go camping at all in the first place. Someone said, and finally, this is a really good point, check what kind of toilet paper they buy. You do not want to start cohabitating with a two-plyer

or someone that buys cheap toothpaste. Oh, yeah. So your two-plyer is your absolute minimum? My anus deserves the best. I've always said it. You don't work hard to have a two-plyer. I don't work hard to have an aggravated anus. I don't, and I shan't.

Flesh, Vaughan and't. And I shan't. Fleshforn and Megan. The podcast. ZM. ZM's $50,000 secret sound. The secret sound is... And it's all thanks to Star launching Feb 23 on Disney+. More movies, more episodes, more originals. Check out Disney Plus NZ on Insta now.

Also on Instagram, ZM Secret Sound. With all of the guesses, the jackpots, the clues that will happen during the competition, and more importantly, the wrong guesses, which help you figure out what the secret sound is. And we just said it's not a nail file. That was 7am's guess. Soundkeeper Owls is living just out of the studio. Good morning.

Your glass little box. Yeah, really, yeah. I said yesterday it's a fishbowl. It definitely feels like that. It is. It's a cute little bed, though. Cute little bed. Yeah, she's all right.

I forget you're out there and then I'm like, oh. Yeah. Just sitting there looking. Very voyeuristic. It is. Yeah, it's like big brother. All right, well, you are the only person that knows the secret sound. And we've trusted the intern enough to up the jackpot from a dollar yesterday to $10,000 today.

Yeah, bit of a jump. Olivia, good morning. Hello. All right, $10,000 is all yours if you can tell us what this secret sound is. I think it could be pulling the trigger on a spray bottle. Okay, like disinfectant, the spray and wipe or whatever. Okay, let's have a listen. Right, do you do this often?

Do you spray water bottles often? Sometimes, yeah So you'll be familiar with the sound Right Yeah See, up close to me that could be That could be something It does have a sort of a blast effect at the top there

I think it sounds like a blast Okay Alright, well I can confirm that is not the secret sound. Nope. Olivia, you get $100, so everybody that has a guess gets $100. Oh, thank you. Even if you're wrong, you're a winner. A winner.

Get more than I have. I get to give away money, but I don't get to keep any. Are you whinging about your inter-wage already? Not whinging, just clarifying. Sounds wildly ungrateful to me. ZM's Fletch, Va Don't get Fletch started in here. Don't get Fletch started. Don't get Fletch started in here. Just before we get started on Don't Get Fletch Started,

imagine explaining to our grandparents or our great-grandparents who were dealing with Nazis and stuff that there's a stigma on the radio where some guy with absolutely no problems in the world finds problems in the world. I'll find problems in the world. Or, you know, people living in an endless quarantine situation. I should be running a lot of things.

Look, we're all just trying to survive out there. Yeah, well, he's doing his best, but experience some anxiety at the weekend and this is our latest episode of Don't Get Fetched started when a waitress came to the table to take the orders. Okay, so

and this was on Friday before level three in Auckland and I gotta say feeling for the retailers at the moment, the restaurants and stuff. The hospital industry. So as soon as we get into a level where we can go along safely, we've got to support them.

But we were at the table. There was me and two friends. We decided to go for some food. And the waitress comes over and she tells us about the specials. And I'm like, every time they say the specials, I'm like, I don't care because if it was special and it was great, it would be on your menu full time. No, I hear the specials.

It might be seasonal. It might be something that they just saw a great deal on, this whole bloody salmon. Yeah, right. Another, well, that was legendary salmon dish. I'll hear the specials in a time. I love the specials. Well, anyway, so she takes all of our orders.

And there's like, we order something, and then we order like a couple. Three of us. And we get drinks, and we get the odd little side, and one person had a little addition to their burger change. Oh, yeah, right. So like no beetroot extra cheese. Yeah, that kind of thing.

So she's going around the table. She is not writing any of this down. Any of it down. And she repeats it back. She repeats it back to each of us. And we're like, yep. And she leaves. And we all just looked at each other and we're like,

oh, she needed to write that down. We all said it and we were like, we're very anxious about this moment. And so when you got your meal, did she get it right? Oh, no, she came back two minutes later. Tail tucked between her legs. To ask about the side dipping sauce that I ordered for my fries. So it was only over the whole order, the only thing she needed to double check was the dipping. The dipping, yes. ordered for my fries. So it was only over the whole order the only thing she needed

to double check was the dipping. The dipping. Yes. That's pretty good. Pretty good but she still needed to come back and at the time

when I set the side dipping sauce in my head I was like she's not writing this down she's gonna forget. She's gonna forget. And she did but she came back. I in that position

I could not do that. I'd have a pad. I'd write everything down. I'd write everything down. Yeah. I don't see it's not showing off, I could not do that. I'd have a pad. I'd write everything down. I'd write everything down. Yeah. I don't see, it's not showing off. I'm not impressed by your ability to memorise a whole table of orders. I don't know.

I was going to say I'm always impressed. It's a display of a fantastic short-term memory. Which I don't possess at all. Because as soon as you're done with that table, you've got to erase that from your memory. You've got to get that out of there. Yeah, and how many tables, or at the moment, it'll be single server, but, you know,

generally, how many tables are they working? But also, imagine you've just memorised the whole table. You're walking back to that touchscreen computer they all put the order into, and then another table says, by the way, can I get some extra fries? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's like when you're trying to remember a phone number and someone starts just saying random numbers. I know. No, no, no, no. Shush, shush, shush. It's like when you're trying to remember a phone number

and someone starts just saying random numbers. I know. No, no, no, no. And then you've got to go back to that table and just clarify the order. It would be embarrassing if you forgot the whole order and you had to come back and go, I'm sorry, one more time.

But I just spend the whole time from when they take the order to the food comes thinking, oh, well, they're going to mess this up. It's going to be wrong. And then they're going to have to fix it and I'm going to have to wait longer. You're inserting your negativity into the zeitgeist and plaguing that energy.

You're putting it out there. I've just made myself sound a lot more gypsy than I really am. Georgia, where's Georgia? Come in here, Georgia, please. How do I? Come over to this microphone here. So we were talking about this before the song was playing, or this morning, spitching about this.

Georgia said she used to work at Lone Star. Yeah. Which didn't surprise any of us. Well, okay, I want to know why that is, by the way. Because you're so bubbly and friendly, you'd slide on in. People would be there at the table, you'd slide in, you'd be like, scooch over there. Hey, welcome to Lone Star.

I did. How are you? God, I hope you've got beautiful looking family here. I could imagine you and your... What event are we celebrating tonight? A birthday? Who's birthday? Oh my gosh.

How old are you? It's a wholesome, wholesome restaurant, isn't it? You should work at Lone Star. That was pretty good, actually. I could imagine. I've been there a couple of times. I could imagine you in Christchurch in your AirTag checkered shirt, your RM Williams. I didn't have them at the time when I did have cowboy boots and little short shorts.

Yeah, it was those short shorts. You'd be like, hey folks, welcome to Lone Star. You were some of that southern hospitality. But you, when you worked there, you didn't write anything down. No, I could do it to a table of ten at the time. Ten? You know the menu though, so the only change is like

you're either going to get buffalo chips or you're going to get a salad or you're going to get normal chips. Can I hold the celery on this and, you're either going to get buffalo chips or you're going to get a salad or you're going to get normal chips. But what if they're going, can I get, can I hold the celery on this and can you make this dairy? No, you're getting the Johnny Cash dash assets. It's actually, it's actually,

you do, I don't know, you just know. I also knew the specials off by heart as well. If you get tested and you always had like mystery shoppers come in, if you didn't know it off by heart, they'd mark you down points.

And I was like, I got to get that extra little bit of, you know, I'm such a goody good though. So I always got to get that extra little bit of, you know. I'm such a goody good though, so I always wanted to win that stuff. But what? Ten people. But were you allowed to have a notepad?

Yeah, you were. But if you could do it, then you were pretty top notch. I was maitre d' by the end of it, guys. So, thank you. My dad would totally have scooched along. My dad loves scooching along, let alone star waitress sit at the table. I was like, Dad, they're going to be forever if you keep doing that. He's like, they're lovely. They're lovely.

He probably gets free T-shirts then, does he too? No. I would have given him a free T-shirt. I don't know if you're allowed to just give away the T-shirt. Yes, you can. You just pick the people you like and you give them a T-shirt. I'm giving away all the secrets, but you do. There was some orange in mine,

so they'd really pulled back on the overly friendly. Oh, really? Are they still doing ginormous serves? Did you ever get an order wrong memorising it? No. I actually got orders wrong when I wrote them down because you can't always catch up with when you're going around a table, people saying stuff.

So you'd write down, like, mushroom sauce, and they would actually be like, well, I came for the Jack Daniels sauce. And then you'd be gutted because you'd look like even more of a dick because you wrote it down. And if you're writing Jack Daniels sauce and you get mushroom sauce, I mean, that's bitterly disappointing. It is.

And especially if you hate mushrooms as well. Oh, yuck. We should try this. You should. We should try doing a memorising game. Okay, we'll put it to the test. But not with Georgia because she'll win. But we don't know the menu.

No, we'll just make up a menu. Ooh. I'll order something. It's like our first day. Yeah, you can always say the waitstaff on their first day are having a great time. They love it, eh? So we're not allowed to write it down? No, I'll test you both and I'll order something.

Okay. And then you have to recite it back to me. But I want full service as well. I want a cheery hello. You can pick the restaurant. Okay. All right. And I'll play along.

Is this role play? We'll do this role play next. I went to drama school. I'll lead it. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Well, we have decided on the back of waitress, wait staff, memorising orders at the table without writing them down, we've decided to put this to the test with ourselves.

Yeah. Somebody messaged in saying they worked at a restaurant, they were asked not to write them down. It makes it seem a higher quality restaurant if the waitstaff have got better memory. I don't see, no. They're really present, they're looking you in the eye, they care about you, they're listening.

No, I don't care if people write it down. I mean, I don't go to flesh restaurants, but it always impresses me when there's a big table and they know exactly who ordered what. They don't need to ask. They don't get there and they're like, who ordered the eggs, Benny? They just walk out.

Do you think they write little clues? Yeah, they've got a code. They've got codes. Eggs, Benny for beard guy. And salmon bagel for ginger. I don't know. Ginger man. I don't want to see man. I don't want to see that. I don't want to see how I'm described by waitstaff.

No. Guy who doesn't need extra helping. Is getting the extra helping. So Hayley, you've decided you'll test Vaughn and I each. And we'll be at a scenario, a scene. Producer Jared's found some music for your scenes.

For your restaurants and then Vaughn and I will take turns you have to memorise it walk around the desk here in the studio as if you're going to the ordering computer yes

and then recite the order back what does the winner get? does a winner get a meal voucher? a loan ceremony of the month a loan ceremony of the month the winner gets dinner at Lone Star. Lone Star are getting a lot of free publicity out of this. They really are.

Yeah. They really are. Okay. They're using a lot of potatoes too. Let's do Lone Star. Whenever you're like, oh, you'll have a side of those buffalo chips, Georgia? The potatoes? Yeah.

Jesus, you get half a bloody bag of agria on your plate. Did you ever get employee of the Month, Georgia? Were you the Employee of the Month? Always, guys. Always. That's what I strive for. And she could remember a table of ten. Wow. That's good stuff. Let's start with Vaughn now. Hayley. Okay.

Where are we? Okay, we are in Paddy's Irish Pub. In Ireland, or are we in... We're in New Zealand. We're doing our best impersonation of's Irish Pub. Okay. In Ireland or are we in? We're in New Zealand. We're doing our best impersonation of an Irish pub here in New Zealand. Okay.

I'm here with my partner and his parents. Okay. Oh, the music's just started playing. Fantastic. We're here at Paddy's Irish Pub. We're here. Okay. Excuse me, I think we're actually ready to order.

Good evening. Hi. I have to please Excuse me I think we're actually ready to order Good evening Hi Lovely table of people here Thank you No writing down on your laptop I'm not writing anything down

Shut up Get out of Paddy's Irish Pub What are you doing here? I actually think we're ready to order Fantastic Now were the cocktails alright to start?

Everybody enjoyed their Yeah mine was a little light on the alcohol I'd say Was it? Yeah a little sweet for me I'll have a word to them I like my IRA IRA Molotovs to really

have a bit of punch. Thank you so much. Now, these guys aren't as hungry as me, so I'll just order for myself to start. They'll take a little bit longer. Okay. For the entree, I'm just going to get the bacon wedges. Maybe we'll just share those, but we get no cheese because Rachel is intolerant. Rachel sucks. Carry on. For my main, I think I'm going to have the

beef schnitzel without the peas. So just the mash. Yep. Actually, I'll have the mash but no peas. But can I add on a second schnitzel because I'm actually quite hungry. You're having two schnitzels. Hold the peas. Yes.

And actually with the cheese sauce, can I have that on the side? Well, Rachel wants the schnitzel and she can't have the cheese. That's why you want the bacon wedges without the cheese. Yeah. And maybe just while these guys are still, we'll get fries for the table. Okay. And I don't know. It's a fun night.

I think we're going to do three shots of tequila without lemon. And I'll have a Guinness to finish. All right. Gotcha. I'll just repeat that back to you. Am I allowed to repeat it back to you before I walk around the table? Sure. Okay, so for starters, you've got the wedges with bacon, but hold the cheese because Rachel's a little bit sensitive,

shall we say. We don't want to gas it out, Paddy's Irish pub. Next up, you're going to have, for the mains, the schnitzel. Hold the peas, double the schnitzel. Cheese sauce on the side. Three shots of tequila and a Guinness. I'll be back in just a moment with your food. That is my worst nightmare.

I remember schnitzel and cheese. Okay, you're up next. Okay, guys, ding, order. Is this what I'm saying to the chefs? Yeah, and you're going to bring me my food, please. Okay, guys, we need the wedges with bacon. Hold the cheese. We're going to need schnitzel, double schnitzel, no peas,

cheese sauce on the side. Oh, bar, three shots of tequila and a Guinness. Five minutes later. You did it. You did it. You did it. Did he do it? I will say you forgot fries for the table.

You know which is what you need fries for? Because the rest of the family's not eating as much. Oh, they're not. Yeah, remember? I'm going to give that, that's a four out of five stars for me. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Let's see if you can beat it, Fletch.

Okay, we're about to be going. We're going to Gay Paris. This is my, I just want to, for the record, I do eat at- You would never, ever eat at a fringe restaurant and you would not work there. You're not fast enough. I am a better class of person than you.

You would turn up to work and not say, Fletch, you can't wear a T-shirt and a cap, and you'd say work there. You're not classy enough. I am a better classy person. You would turn up to work and they'd say, Fletch, you can't wear a T-shirt and a cap. And you'd say, I don't have a collared shirt. I don't do collared shirts. No, this is, is this a relaxed restaurant?

Or is it fancy? It's like a jazz bar. You're wearing one of those little pinafore aprons. Yes. Okay. Bonjour. I think we're ready to order our food. Bonjour. Hello. What would you like ready to order our food. Bonjour.

Hello. Hi. What would you like? Well, again, my family's not that hungry, but I'll just be ordering for myself. I might get some food to share. Oh, this looks too good to pass up. When in Paris, I'll get for my entree,

can I get the escargot? But instead of on a bed of lettuce, I might just get a side of fries with aioli. Okay. Yeah, and actually, I might get some tomato sauce as well. I'm from New Zealand. We have everything with tomato sauce.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Shit. For my main. You can't say wait, wait, wait, shit to the customer. Okay, did you just say you want aioli and tomato sauce? Yes.

Is that going to be an issue? Yeah, no, that's fine. With the tomato sauce on the side, please. Okay, yep. And I think for the main, I'm going to go with a filet mignon. Filet mignon. Well done.

Okay, yeah. I'll go well done on that. Filet mignon, well done. And I'll get truffle done on that. Flamin' Yong, well done. And I'll get truffle fries, I think, for the table to share. And we'll get a round of steamed greens as well, just to keep you healthy. Okay, lovely. And to drink, I think we're just going to share a bottle of the local Sauvignon Blanc. Okay.

Three glasses, but we'll prefer room temp. Okay, fantastic. Bonjour, mademoiselle. Would you like to hear the specials? Hello, sir. I am the maître d'. Okay, I would like to hear the specials? Oh, hello, sir. I am the maitre d'. Okay, I would love to hear the specials. Excuse me, Barry, I've actually got this under control.

Does he have this under control? He does have it under control. I actually think that what's on the main menu looks fine to me, so we'll just go for what I've ordered. Thank you, thank you. Excuse the interruption. He does this all the time to me. He doesn't trust me.

If you could just repeat that back to me. Okay, snails with side of truffle. No, side of aioli and tomato sauce. No lettuce. Hold the lettuce. Because I remembered that because snails eat lettuce. But they won't because they're dead. So they won't eat the lettuce.

But you don't want the lettuce anyway. So I'm getting the sauce to go with the snails. Fries. You got fries as well. Yes. I was getting to those. And Sav, three glasses, room temperature. Flamin' Yong, medium rare.

Medium? Huh? Close enough. You won't know the difference. Did I do great? And what did we get for the table? Truffle fries. Fries with truffle.

And a side of tomato sauce. You truffle and a side of tomato sauce. You've already said the side of tomato sauce. Yeah, there's two sides of tomato sauce. There's two different lots of fries. Okay, do your trip around the table. French fries. Okay, do your trip around the table and order from the kitchen. Flaming Yong.

Medium. Lettuce. Snails. Sav? Flaming Yong Medium What? Lettuce Huh? Snails Sav? Tomato sauce I'm giving it a two out of five stars I could not do this for a job

You had no specific details Anything could have turned up I'm here from Paddy's Irish Pub Is she ordering more fries? This woman eats a lot of fries Man, power to those weight stuff Is she ordering more fries? This woman eats a lot of fries. Man, power to those waitstaff. If you can remember a table order, you're incredible.

You're superhuman. You gave it your best shot. And they're doing like five tables. I suppose not for you, babe. It's not. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Today's fact of the day. This got me thinking yesterday when Robbie, the robot vacuum cleaner, had done his latest rounds. He mapped the whole house last night. This is your new robot vacuum cleaner? Yeah, my new robot vacuum cleaner had done his latest rounds, he mapped the whole house last night. This is your new robot vacuum cleaner? Yeah, my new robot vacuum cleaner. He's quickly becoming my best friend and confidant. Robbie, have you got a minute?

You're just in the corner of your lounge, just on the floor, huddled over your vacuum cleaner. He's doing a spot clean. He's just like, let me go. You know exactly what to say at the right time, Robert. Because he did a round of the house and it was, it's crazy. The amount of stuff it keeps picking up. And a lot of it last night was hair.

I, of course, am not really contributing to that. But do you say this when you empty the old normal vacuum cleaner? Oh my God. You do a round with the vacuum cleaner and you're like done. But then you do, this guy's been out and about pretty much nonstop since he arrives and he always comes back with a full trap. How long does it go for? Well, so yesterday I put him on.

I'm glad you asked, Hayley. I could talk about this all day. Yesterday I put him on light because he runs out of batteries before he's mapped the whole house and he returns to the dock. Oh, yeah. So last night I put him on light and he did a round. I'm like, surely this isn't going to be a lot. And he was out for two hours mapping the whole house

because I live in a mansion. And then he popped back and I emptied him. And he was absolutely chock-a-block. And so I did some investigation of what's in there. And there was a lot of cat hair. Oh, yeah. And so they got me like, how are the cat? We've got the ginger cat.

He's particularly my cat's hair everywhere. I vacuum in the whole thing. It's just mostly cat hair. Cat hair. Yeah, and it doesn't always come up because it sort of gets into the weave of the carpet. That's what must be happening. But Robbie is such a diligent worker. He's getting into our medium pile carpet.

He sucks hard. He must be a robot vacuum cleaner. He sucks hard. He does. He's a hard sucker. He's got a good little brush on the bottom of him and he brushes and sucks pretty ferociously. And so it got me thinking, how much hair is on a cat? Lots? Heaps. Have a guess.

But what's your measurement? What's the figure? How many hairs? Oh, like 100,000? Interesting. Maybe Sproul, I'll take your guess now. Shoot, I don't even have anything. The loser dies, by the way, so you should probably think, actually take this seriously.

The winner, I think. The winner gets 10 minutes with Rob at the vacuum cleaner to just tell him your problems, and he'll suck away the issues. I'm going to say closer to half a million. Well, you're both wrong oh cats on the undersides so under their belly bellies yeah um have approximately 120 000 hairs per square inch and um the top of the cat on their 60,000 hairs per square inch. The average cat has 40 million hairs. Give or take a few million, depending on what kind of breed it is.

So your cat's hair is very thick. Because he's a cute bit of short hair. Oh, cute. Yeah. But our cats wouldn't have as many hairs, but the average cat has 40 million hairs. Oh, what about those gross those... Snooksies. Yeah. Are they Snooksies? I know someone that has

one of those and they're like, he's so pretty. I'm like, no one thinks that. They look like they need to be put out of their misery and I love cats, but they always look like they're in pain. Yeah. Those people probably see those skinless moles that look a little bit like junk. You know, like genitals. And they're probably like, oh, what a cute little creature.

Yeah. That's incredible. So in comparison, the average human would have about 100,000 hairs on their head. Present company excluded. Well, actually me excluded as well. I'm very thin. Thinner than the hair. I wonder how much my beard would contribute towards 100,000.

I could be adding a bit. That's an insane amount of cat hair. That's so... And what about dogs? So they have... So if a human has 120,000 hairs on the head, that's how much a cat has per square inch on the underside.

Imagine if it was this long, though. Like cat... Like those dog... Like those long-haired dogs, but a cat version. They don't have... No, I can't think of a really long-haired... They do have long-haired cats, but a cat version. I can't think of a really long-haired... They do have long-haired cats, but it doesn't keep growing. Not long-long.

No. So today's fact of the day, if you're vacuuming and you're like, oh, you've got a Robbie at home yourself and you're emptying the trap and there's a lot of cat hair in here, that is because the average cat has around 40 million hairs. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Hi, I'm Vaughan.

I found an article. This is terrible news for you. Oh, no. And your happy marriage. Oh, no. What? What's happened? I'm all born I've found an article This is terrible news for you Oh no And your happy marriage Oh no What? What's happened? Well

Is there like a big news article Shari decided to go to the media About leaving me Before she's told me Here's a little tidbit You might find interesting I'm leaving my husband And then they put it up

On their Facebook page And everyone's like Who? Who cares? Who are these people? I've never heard of them, so they mustn't exist. And I shan't Google them. I'll be angry here.

Anyway, daughters, and I didn't know this, but having daughters has long been linked with divorce. Did you know this? I did not. So there have been several- I thought it was the happiest couples had two daughters. That's what I was always like. Yay.

Stop. Yeah, right. Well, no, apparently there have been several studies, and since the 1980s as well, that provide strong evidence that a couple's firstborn being a girl increases the likelihood of their subsequently splitting up. Firstborn being a girl. Do you reckon this is because, like, women like to band together and turn?

You know? Well, it doesn't say? It started to happen. So if this was opposite sex couples, like a man and a woman couple, and then another woman comes along, the man's now outnumbered. And women always put women first, so the man's got to go.

Well, it's said here that researchers involved speculated there was a son preference for maybe if you had a daughter and a son. Oh, so it comes at a disappointment. Well, no, this was, well, no, not really, no. But yeah, it's apparently there's more people have daughters in divorce

according to these studies. I'm second. I came along after my brother and my parents are still together. Yeah. So I had no impact there. But if your brother was a sister Were you first or second? Second.

You were second. It's when it's first. So having a female firstborn does indeed increase the risk of that child's parents divorcing in both America and the Netherlands. I can only say based on my own teenage years that it's because women are nightmares raising them and it causes a disrupted

household raising women. Right. And maybe it's just too much stress and pressure. And they band together, do they? Yeah, and I feel like parents get really protective over daughters as well. And then when they start rebelling, you know, it's a stressful household. Right, yeah, that's what I reckon it'll be. Putting strain on the relationship, having a rebellious daughter.

I'm definitely like the stricter parent. Oh, okay. Out of myself and my wife I'm definitely like the stricter parent out of myself and my wife. I'm definitely the stricter parent. And if I say something that sticks, like last week,

August played up and so she didn't get McDonald's. She had to stay home and she thought I was going to give in. She thought I was going to give in.

Oh no, she doesn't know where stubbornness came. She had scrambled eggs. Oh, that's actually really good. Yeah, I know. Why did you do it?

I didn't want it to be, I wanted the argument to be over. know Why did you do it I didn't want it to be I wanted the argument To be over I'd made my point And I didn't want to Drag it on And make it last forever Make her eat something gross

Like potatoes or something That aren't in chip form Yeah or soap Like we used to Just squeeze Soap into her mouth Sunlight dish soap Yeah

Soap Yeah we don't have a bar of soap So what do you do modern Do you just open their mouth And squeeze their hands Yeah eco-friendly. And then your kids are all turpsed up because it's an alcoholic Santa. Oh, my dad made me sanitizers for dinner.

So you lose your kids. But you're ready. You've got the treehouse built for the teenagers. So you can just be like, oh, your kids are so lucky. I'm like, yeah, that was built for the kids. Unless I Rapunzel them up there. I put them up there And then take away the ladder Oh yeah true

Yeah Let's And then They'll have to grow their hair so long Yeah they will For someone to be able to get up there And then that would hurt Well good luck anyway

I'll send you this research Oh no don't bother I'd rather go into this Shitstorm blind Zed Eames Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The podcast If you enjoyed this podcast

Why not give Zed Eames Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hit music. Live's here. ZM.