ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 16th July 2020

Episode Date: July 15, 2020

Fletch's Instagram Story  When did someone give you Pregnancy Advice  What Would Rae-Rae Say?  Bet I can Guess your Mums Name!  When did someone have a weird house rule?  Megans LifehackSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fleeche Warner Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Buy five McCafe coffees and get one free on the Maccas app. Obviously in New Zealand. This isn't an overseas thing. So don't go to Czechoslovakia McDonald's. Which doesn't exist. Czech Republic? Why wouldn't the Czech? Oh yeah. Because the Czechoslovakia was split wasn't it it? Yeah, like 30 years ago. Yeah, so don't go into the USSR McDonald's franchises. Don't go to Rhodesia. And go to Rhodesia McDonald's and ask for the deal because it doesn't exist there.

Hello, is this Rhodesia McDonald's? This hasn't been Rhodesia for many years. Are we out of old, former countries? Okay, former countries, former countries. Should I go there?

Yugoslavia? Yes. That's another one that's not a country anymore. This isn't fair. Geography's not my strong point. Former countries. Yugoslavia. Yes. That's another one that's not a country anymore. This isn't fair. Geography is not my strong point. Greenland. Siam.

Siam is a country. Oh, you're reading the Chinese Communist Party's website of countries that no longer exist. Business Insider. The United Arab Republic. What? Did that become the Emirates? Did you just say United Arab Republic? No. United Arab Republic Did that become the Emirates? Did you just say United Arab Republic? No, United Arab Republic

Why can't you say Arab? United Arab Republic There we go It's because there's an R there United Arab Republic So that was from 58 to 71 Ceylon Sri Lanka

Yeah, yeah, yeah But you can still get Ceylon tea Czechoslovakia East Germany is one Sri Lanka. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep, yep. But you can still get Ceylon tea. Czechoslovakia. East Germany is one. Oh, cute. We're on the same list. Are we?

Okay, yep. Mesopotamia. Mimia. Mimia. Mesopotamia. Mesopotamia. Mesopotamia. Is that it?

The Republic of Salo. Oh, where was the Republic of Salo? Also known as the Italian Social Republic. Salo was essentially a Nazi satellite state in Italy, run by Mussolini. Ah, Mussolini. Prussia. Prussia, yeah, I remember that from history. It's part of,

it was like next to Russia. There was once a tiny Himalayan monarchy called Sikkim from 1642. Is that a settled yak? Yeah, it is. That is a yak with a saddle on. Yeah, that's a settled yak. Why did they change it to Sri Lanka?

From Ceylon, it was Ceylon for a couple of hundred years. What a fascinating tangent. You said Yugoslavia, right? Yeah, I did, yeah. Zanzibar. Zanzibar. Zanzibar not a country anymore. So when Ceylon gained... Jack Tame once said he wanted to go to, I did, yeah Zanzibar Zanzibar Was Zanzibar not a country anymore? So when Ceylon gained

Jack Tame once said he wanted to go to sleep and wake up in Zanzibar And I laughed in his face Because it was the stupidest thing I've ever heard anybody say Was that if you could wake up tomorrow anywhere, where would you be? I'd say, just in my house But like, clean sheets And nothing Did he say Zanzibar?

And he was like, Zanzibar. I was like, Jack Tame, calm the fuck down. I actually laughed. It's an island. It's a semi-autonomous region of Tanzania. Okay, it's an island just off Tanzania. So just getting back to Ceylon, they got independence from the British and then went to Sri Lanka in 1972.

Then there was East Germany, Yugoslavia. That's all that I've got on my list. Have you googled the beaches in Zanzibar? That's where he wanted to bloody go! Yeah, well, I'm not surprised. That's where Jack Tame wanted to wake up. It's got like overwater bungalows and shit. Looks like Maldives.

Maldives. What's that one? Bora Bora. Tahiti. Thataldives. Maldives. What's that one? Bora Bora. Tahiti. Yeah, Bora Bora. That's what I was thinking of. Alright, well enjoy the podcast that we're done. Jack Time's written an article called Suffering the Ravages of Oh no, it's about Jack Time.

In 2015 he was wanking on about Zanzibar. Maybe he's got a point. He's a great, he's a world-worldly traveller. I've talked to Jack many times about travelling. I'm not saying life ends at 28. My grandma has 60 years on my looming landmark and has just returned from an intrepid trip to Zanzibar. So grandma's been.

So grandma sold him on Zanzibar. And then she's off to Iran. Yeah. Granny time won't be stopped. She will be. Well, she will be actually now because she's probably in the age group that would be most affected by contracting COVID. Well, we've all been stopped from traveling with COVID, mate. Yeah, we have been.

No Zanzibar for anybody. Enjoy the podcast. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fleech, Vaughn and Megan. Good morning, Fleech. Thank you. Good morning, Megan, Fleech, Vaughan and Megan. Good morning, Fleech. Thank you. Good morning, Megan.

Thank you. As Vaughan gets his headphones in. I couldn't find them. They were behind my laptop. They were hiding, weren't they? They were hiding behind my laptop. Yeah. They were doing a good hide.

They're on now. Am I going to have this music in the background? Yeah. What's this? I mean, we play it every morning, but I've never questioned it. Does it have a name? Is it an instrumental of a popular song? It's just an instrumental. Yeah. What's this? I mean, we play it every morning, but I've never questioned it. Does it have a name? Is it an instrumental of a popular song?

Just an instrumental, yeah. Afraid. Should I shazam it? No. Well, it doesn't matter, Vaughn. But I'm kind of curious. And now that I think I've raised the point,

other people's curiosities will be spiked. Curiosities. How do I do this when we're on air? Well, you'd have to put it to your... To my headphones? To your headphones, yeah.

Hang on. We'll wait. It's shazamming. Oh, it is shazamming. Okay. I don't recognise these voices in this song. Oh, Jesus, it wasn't even Shazam. Now it's Shazamming.

Shazamming's changed. You can do an auto Shazam. Yeah, it's listening. No results. Yeah, right, okay. I'm so glad we did that. I'm so glad we did that. Mystery.

I guess this mystery goes unsolved. Well, you could just ask Al in the music department. Oh, no. I owe Al. I've got to avoid Al. I forgot his microphone again. Oh, my God. Set yourself a stereo reminder.

Al doesn't want to. He'll be like, oh, yeah, tell me. And then he'll expect the microphone. I can't. You said that yesterday. I've got to avoid Al because I forgot. Well, I forgot it again. You were crawling past his window.

Yeah, I know. I know, but I can't. Just bring in his microphone. Well, I'm not forgetting on purpose. Yeah, right. Okay. I'm just forgetting. Siri reminders are the best thing ever.

Like, I made Megan sit a Siri reminder to remember my yogurt maker. Yeah, and I did. My Siri reminders never remind me. But then I go into my to-do list that's there, but she never is like... It doesn't pop up. Like that. Right. I wonder if I've

turned off notifications. It certainly does. I did a blanket turn off of notifications. It does sound like it. The top six is coming up. Where would I look to see if it's the top six? No, you can't turn off. Yes. That sounds like it. Yeah. The top six is coming up. Where would I look to see if they're on the top six? No, you can't turn off. Yes, you can. It is.

Oh my God, That's why that never worked. Hold on, let me turn it on. What one should I have? Lock screen. All of them. Notification banners.

All of them. Sounds. Banners. Boom. And now, set a reminder to get Al's microphone. Hey, Siri. Set a reminder for 3 p.m. this afternoon to put Al's microphone in my bag.

Okay. Your reminder is set for this afternoon. Yeah. Irish Siri is so much better. Hooray. I've got Irish Siri. The top six is coming up. Yeah. Irish Surrey is so much better. I've got Irish Surrey. The top six is coming up. Yeah, so I'm going to have to do some more digging

to see if this is a trolling or we are indeed getting coriander flavoured shapes. That'd be a controversial call. Surely not. I love coriander, but... Me too. You know, obviously it's a genetic thing, so for some people it tastes like soap.

It needs to be like coriander, chilli and lime or something. Oh, yeah. Just not, just coriander. That'd be really good. But I've got the top six other things that need to come in coriander flavour. All right. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM.

What have you sent me a link to? I need you to play something for me. If you could play that from 54 seconds, just in a minute, okay? Okay, I'll line it up to 54. Megan, I'm not liking what I'm seeing at 14 seconds or 20 seconds or 30 seconds. She didn't lose her job. She quit her job. She's a 21-year-old woman and she's now earning six figures in a new job.

And I say new job like it's new for her and I think it's a new career for everyone. Okay. She now earns six figures by pretending to be a dog. What? What, like for kids' birthday parties or something? No. It's more of a sexy nature. Although she, to be fair, in these videos that we've seen,

she is wearing gym gear and stuff. It's not as if she's in lingerie. Right. That's unrealistic. You don't see a dog wearing Lululemon, do you? No. Or Clique. Clique.

Clique. How do you say that brand? Clique. Clique. Clique. Clique. Clique. Clique.

Clique. I don't know. I've never actually said it out loud. Yeah. C-L-I-Q-U-E. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click? Click. I don't know. I've never actually said it out loud. Yeah. C-L-I-Q-U-E. Yeah. Yeah. She said she's felt like a dog.

She used to play like a dog when she was growing up, and then she was kind of just doing it to be silly. Yeah, but every kid plays dogs and cats. Yeah. So now she literally fetches balls, like they chuck them into the water. What, just on videos? Or do people pay her to go to a park with them?

No, videos. Okay, right. Wait, so she does it, and she uploads the videos and people, it's like people pay like a Patreon, they pay. Only fans. On Only Fans, they pay to watch a grown woman act like a dog. Yep. Wow. And you said

before it's of a sexual thing. I think, well, what she's doing to me doesn't seem sexual, but... Some guys, so what do they find sexual about it? The dog stuff? Well, because there's one where she might be her boyfriend, I don't know, or like a friend

of guys like sit for a treat, like doing make you do like lie down, play dead and everything and then she gets a treat and then it shows her eating the treat. Is it a dog treat or is it like... Yeah, it's a dog treat. Oh no, just use like a pod or something. One of those pods would be good. A rollo.

Another one, they're at the park and she gets like, they throw at the park and she gets like, they throw a tennis ball and she goes after it. I'd go after a tennis ball for a whole like block of chocolate. I found the tennis ball one a little bit like unrealistic because she just crawled over to the ball. And dogs will run at that ball. We're laughing, but you said she's earning six figures.

So she... And she's not even getting new. But I want to know what's in it for the guys. Do they like seeing someone obey? Maybe. Or be subservient? Or are they enjoying her, like seeing her lose her dignity?

What's the vibe? She said the more kinky you want it, the more it'll cost. The most she's charged for a video is $1,200. Does she wear a collar? Is she registered? Some of them she's wearing a collar. Some of them she's wearing a collar. Yeah, like a little dog collar.

So what am I playing here? I've got it teed up. I chose the one with the most audio because some of them is just her panting. Okay, this is at 54 seconds. This is her. She's on the couch, naughty doggy. Okay. Hey, what are you doing on the couch? You know better than that.

Bad girl. Go to your bed. This is on TikTok. No, quit whining. You know better than that. It's her like whining. She gets in a dog bed. Wow. Okay. Is TikTok like promo for her OnlyFans? It's her like And then she gets in a dog bed Wow

Okay Is TikTok like Promo for her OnlyFans? I don't know Right I don't know She's making six figures Pretending to be a dog

She doesn't have another job This is her job Right Has she made six figures yet Or is she just saying If I continue on At this pace for a year I'll make six figures

Oh I don't know. Is that like, yeah. Because she might have been doing this for two weeks and has made a couple of thousand. So she's like, wow, but it might run dry, you know? Yeah.

You're saying there aren't that many people into people pretending to be dogs. If it's a five-year-old. I don't know, man. I don't know. That kind of sounds like fun. Like, as long as I don't have to take my clothes off and do, like,

anything weird. But you're chasing a ball in a park. But hey. Yeah. No. You might take a while to get that ball with you, dicky hip. Mate, if you were a dog, you'd be put down by now. You would have cost the owner a bloody fortune.

ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. There is going to be, I googled this. I heard it in the news. I googled it and I found a report from, an article from 2003. Okay. Where it was,

it's a really old, it's like an archived internet story. Yeah. About a push for tax on junk food sales. So like junk food, there'd be a junk food tax. They're always talking about this. Yeah, so that was in 2003 they were talking about that. And, you know, it's popped up throughout the, since then and now.

And I believe the government said they weren't going to tax food, right? Didn't they say at one stage we don't think taxing food's right because it's just going to cost people more money to feed their families? But we've got to make manufacturers start putting less sugar and salt into food. We'll put the onus on them to tidy up their act. Because they certainly do the right thing all the time. Always, yes, yes. It's always about people.

People, not profits. Yeah. But they've been looking at the taxes around the world that when junk food tax has been put on and they said universally, everywhere that it's happened, it's actually resulted in a drop of BMI of 3.3%. That's the average drop.

Yeah. So BMI percentages went down, which is good. I mean, I know you drop. Yeah. So BMI, uh, percentages went down, uh, which is good. I mean, I know you can't put everything on BMI and you shouldn't worry too much about BMI if you feel fit and look fit. But cause what would it be? The front row of the All Blacks? That'll be like obese, right? According to BMI.

But they're the front row of the All Blacks. So don't just be like, well, I could be a front row of an All Blacks. Cause maybe you're not. But yeah, and it comes down, but it is something that needs to be considered, they're saying. And apparently it would save

tons of money for the public health system. But the best thing about the whole story is that apparently it would be really good for teeth as well. Like the dental stuff

will be better. And the man who said oral health will be improved, he's a dentist and his name is Dr. Rob Beaglehole. Have you told this whole story just so you can say his name? You've seen through my thinly-goy, thinly-veiled reasoning for talking about this. Dr. Beaglehole.

What the hell is Dr. Beaglehole? It's spelt beagle like the dog and hole. Like as one word. But it's as one word. Beaglehole. Beaglehole. Never heard of that. Where does that name go back to?

Were they like dog kennels? That's the thing, right? Like famous family. When surnames came around, you kind of just took on what your family did. Like Fletchers were people that put the feathers in arrows. Yeah. We were very big in Game of Thrones. You were very important.

We were very important. Very important. In Game of Thrones, yeah. Especially when it came to making those big arrows that they shot the dragons with. Yes. That required a special sort of feather. Yeah. But smiths were like blacksmiths or goldsmiths.

They worked the metals. What were Papadopolises? Biscuit makers. Biscuit makers. Good. Also very important. Yeah. So what were Beagle?

Well, I searched Beagle Hole last name origin. This unusual and interesting surname is a topographical name for someone who lived in a clearing or wood containing animal burrows. Oh. Oh. Wow. Oh. What? So it comes to the day where everyone's like,

alright, we're going to try this new thing. Because there's heaps of Freds and we're like, we need to work out how to differentiate Fred. You know, Fred that lives by all the holes in the ground that the animals lived in? Versus Fred who puts the feathers in the arrows versus Fred who puts the shoes on the horse's feet.

Yeah. How are we going to do it? Well, why don't we call him like Fred who lives in the clearing by all the animal holes? It's not really, it's a bit wordy. It's a bit long. What about Fred Beagle Hole? I like where you're going with that. What about Fred that does the blacksmithing?

Or we'll just call him Fred Smith. Oh, yeah, that's good. That's nice. Yeah. And Fred Beagle Hole's like, hold on, hold on. No, no, no. He got Smith. Could I just be Hole or Burrows or something?

Or Beagle. Yeah. Yeah. No, no. Shush, Fred Beaglehole. Beaglehole. And how have I got to 38 and a bit years old and never heard the last name Beaglehole? Is he an American dentist?

This is a news story from America? No. He's in bloody Marlborough. He's from Nelson Marlborough's in bloody Marlborough. He's from Nelson Marlborough House. The Beagle Holes of Marlborough. What if we could go for a check-up and ask him?

John Beagle Hole was a New Zealand historian. What is going on? He just never heard the name. He had a child called Tim Beagle Hole. Tim Beaglehole. Tim Beaglehole was in another academic and Chancellor of the Victoria University of Wellington. Oh, he died in 2015. Right.

Where's his offspring? His cousin, Ernest Beaglehole, was his uncle. David Beaglehole was his cousin. I'm going to click on David Beaglehole. But he's a physicist. Right. He's smart. He's dead too. They're all

dropping like flies, the bagel holes. Ernest bagel hole. Back to the story, the original bagel hole, he's saying that we should do a food tax because it'll be better for our teeth. Yeah. Something like that. I think you're missing the main point

here. Someone has the last name bagaglehole. And it's English. Yeah. It's not like it's from like German and it just hasn't translated well. It's old English. That means for like 700 years, there's been a family called the Beagleholes. And I've never loved, loved the name.

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Yesterday, I was blissfully scrolling through stories on my Instagram. Blissfully. Having a lovely time, seeing what everyone was up to. Right. When I wasn't looking at who's I was scrolling through and Fletch's pops up. What's Fletch up to on this lovely afternoon?

He was sitting on the toilet. Oh, yeah, I saw this. Yeah. Sweet balls. You couldn't see my balls. Saw your jennies reflecting in your... You couldn't see jennies. In your white toilet.

It took me a second to realise what I was seeing because, first of all, I saw your cat. And I was like, cute. Muzz is super cute. But Major Muffy Murray Fluffington. Major Muffy. Major Muffy. Oh my god I'm just going to call him that now. Muff Muffs. Major Muffy.

Was sitting in your undies of your pants that were pulled down when you were sitting on the toilet. Yeah so I was on the toilet. I was just scrolling and then the cat was there and then like within a second, he was inside the jeans and undies

and sleeping. He was like, this is a great place to sleep. And I'm like on the toilet. Like a nest. Yeah, like a nest. Like a jean nest. Do you not shut the door

when you go to the toilet? No, because I live alone. I know, but even when I'm alone, because yeah, my dog likes to come into the bathroom when you go in toilet too. He'll come in sometimes or he'll just sit there or walk around. And I like the judgment when I'm doing my thing.

For some reason he thought this is a warm nest and I was like, this is pretty cute. It probably was warm and musty. And then he kind of got to sleep and I was like, well, this is weird. I'm going to put it on Instagram because that's what you do, right? And then I was like, okay, that's cute. And then I was like, well, I need to get up. Initially it was just a still picture. Excuse me, Murray.

Excuse me, Murray, I need to get up. And then I was like, get out. And he didn't want to get out because obviously it was warm. And then a video of you like shuffling along with your pants down and your cat and your undies. Eventually he jumps out and then he goes, and I say, thank you, Murray. And he goes, meow. It was very cute.

I was like, and I did contemplate, do I put this on Instagram stories? I was so grossed out on two levels. First level, your cat was in your undies. Like, ooh, yuck for Mars. And then like you just pulled them up and like, ooh, yuck, that grosses me out. But cats sleep on

laundry all the time. Cats sleep on everything, yeah. And second of all, I could just... Don't you kiss your dog on the face? No, I absolutely don't. Oh, dog people do that though. No, not all dog people. That's disgusting because he licks his balls. Oh yeah, when I see people and their dogs lick their mouths and face

and I'm like, you nasty. Absolutely not. You nasty. And then you had your pants down andicked their mouths and faced me. I'm like, you nasty. Absolutely not. You're nasty. And then you had your pants down and you're shuffling along. I was like, no, no. I can't just, I mean, I can't see it, but I can imagine what's happening here. So this was the horror of the situation. And you can see this story on my Instagram, Flea10Z. I'll just drop that in there.

Because I put my phone down and then went away for 45 minutes after I posted this story. It wasn't near my phone. And I picked up Instagram and there were a lot of messages. What kind of messages? Oh my god, I've accidentally put my penis on Instagram. Because Vaughn was like sweet balls and I was like, no, I

did a check, I did a check. I did a check too. I didn't even see a shadow. But I knew you'd be freaking I did a check too. I didn't even see a shadow. Yeah, no. But I knew you'd be freaking out about it, so that's why I was like. I know. I put my hand over most of the thing and I was just looking for where there could be

a little bit of penis poking through. No penis. I was like. But even though it didn't have a shadow, it was the inference that it was even out when you were filming. It was just like. A lot of people did say I can see the shadow,

but it was when the cat turned his head the ear made it look like an elongated ear. Like a diddle. And I was like, oh my God, I've put my diddle on Instagram. This is terrible. Right. But then I did a good check and it was fine. But most people loved it, Megan. Oh, okay.

It had like 100 and something shares. 170 shares. Grossed out. What was the most popular response of people looking at it? I bet it was a bloody burly trail. I bet your DMs lit up with some propositions and then you could just bloody pick them out of the water. No. Was there any sexy responses?

There were like so many people were just like, yeah. Really? It was pretty crazy. A bit of bloody burly. Yeah, it was a big trail. What was the brand of undies? Oh, yeah, Calvin Klein. Was it Calvin Klein undies? Oh, they weren't even, what?

I love how it's like, oh, it's just my old Calvins. Yeah, my tradie undies are in the wash, aren't they? My Wednesday undies are in the wash. Yeah, I was going to say, your're seven out of the week undies. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there. Arnott's trying to get a little bit of social media exposure in its work

because here we are talking about it. Revealing a box of on its shapes flavoured coriander. Yeah. Very divisive, isn't it, coriander? Yeah, very much so. Like you said, Megan, if you were actually going to do a coriander flavoured anything

you'd go for like a lime and chilli coriander. Yeah, because we like coriander but it's not like I sit down to a bunch by itself. Yeah, true. You don't nibble. It needs to go with something. Yeah, well we like coriander, but it's not like I sit down to a bunch by itself. Yeah, true. You don't nibble. It needs to go with something. Yeah. Well, the people posting on it said if 2020 had a flavour, this would be it.

Yeah. I'd rather eat soap. What is the world coming to? Because genetically for some people, it does taste like soap. And I just can't understand that. Yeah. Wow. Okay. Yeah. Wow, okay.

Yeah. Well, I've got the top six other controversial flavours that shapes could try. Okay. And look into if they're going to go out there and try these controversial divisive flavours. Number six on the list of the other flavours shapes could look into is anchovies. I've come around a little bit to an anchovy. Right. I have come around a little bit. But not,. Right. I have come around a little bit.

But not, again, not eating it by itself. It's got to be part of something. Or like broken down and sautéed up with other things. Yeah. Oh, well, it's the secret to a good sauce. Anchovy. Anchovies. Is it?

It's the secret to a good sauce. People would have eaten anchovies and not known. Oh, yeah, 100%. You don't tell people they're eating anchovies. But to have it on a pizza, like the Ninja Turtles used to, that would be something a little bit different. Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six other flavours shapes could look into

are well-done steak. Yum. What a waste of a steak. If you're having a steak, well done. Would it be a really chewy cracker as well? Yeah, that dry, overcooked flavour. And I want it to taste like blood on the inside. That's what I want every time I bite into a shape.

The sweet taste of blood. Number four on the list of the top six other flavours shapes could look into. Liver and kidney. You're awful. You're organ. No, thanks. You're organ flavoured.

Oh, that's one for your parents. Yeah, grandparents. You're organ flavoured. That's one for your parents. Yeah, grandparents. Yeah. But even then, they probably wouldn't eat shapes. Yeah, no. You know how they get stuck in your teeth? It's actually quite nice because you'll be like... And you'll get a bit of extra flavour.

Yeah, and it lasts for ages. It'll ruin your dentures. Oh, yeah, true. Yeah, it turns into a paste, gets in there. Number three on the list of the top six other flavoured shapes could look into, black licorice. You hate black licorice. I hate it.

I don't mind it. I don't even like the smell of it. In a little bit, I don't mind it. Like if it's in a mixture of things. No, I like it. Red's better though. I hate red licorice. I don't even really like red licorice.

Okay. What about licorice all sorts? They're delicious. No, God no. They're awful. Just give me the all sort without the licorice. I'll have the colour, but what's in that? That's just a gooey...

That's just a sugar paste. There's sugar doing its job again, making gross stuff at least edible. Number two on the list of the top six other flavour shapes could look into if they're after controversial flavours, blue cheese. Oh, yeah. I love a bit of blue cheese. And a salad, that's nice. Yeah.

Or just anywhere on a cracker, it's nice. On a shape, that would actually be pretty legit. Yeah. Just a real strong cheese. Yeah. Imagine how manky the pack would be when you open that. Oh, you'd open it up, that little tinfoil bag, and it would be like,

Mmm, that's stinky. And number one on the list of the top six other flavours or shapes you'd look into if they want some controversy, Brussels sprouts. Oh, yeah. I'm not talking about a nice... Sautéed. ...roasted or sautéed Brussels sprout with garlic and butter. I'm talking about boiled to death.

Till they go grey. 1980s grey Brussels sprouts, baby. That's today's top six. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. 1980s grey Brussels sprouts, baby. And that's today's top six. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Airbnb have rolled out a new tool and it's where you can send kindness cards and cash donations to people you've stayed before. So if you've been to an Airbnb.

Wow. They have sent messages along the lines of, here's one, like all of us, hosts on Airbnb are impacted by COVID-19 and many of them are unable to welcome guests. Now, more than ever, it's important to reach out and support one another, even in small ways.

Today we're introducing a new way to connect with your favourite hosts. Now you can create personalised kindness cards that make it easy to send a message of appreciation or encouragement with the option to add a contribution. We hope these cards will make your host smile and bring a little joy your way. Wow. Everyone's like, have you lost your effing head?

Yeah, like these are property investors. Yeah. I mean, not always. You know, it might be just mum and dad or, you know, you might have a room in the flat that you rent out. But on the whole, a lot of these people, these are rental properties. Yeah. This is like their investment.

People that have bought multiple houses. Yeah. Someone said, I can't even afford a house of my own, so no. I'm not sure why I would be contributing to the mortgage of anyone's second home. Everyone's just like, well, I'm actually struggling myself, so you can stick it. Yeah. What were they thinking? I mean, because I don't ever do like a shared house Airbnb where you stay in the people's... Oh, yeah, in their like spare room or granny flat.

If you went to a country, there might be the occasion where you made a connection with someone and became friends with them. And then maybe you might feel like you could help them out that way. But I don't imagine the people who are like doing an Airbnb of a room would be the people who necessarily would be struggling. Because they live in that house and it's the people who have multiple extra properties. So I reckon during lockdown, I got an email from ages ago, my friends and I, when we were in Europe, we got a big apartment in Prague and all went in on that.

And then during lockdown, when we were in lockdown, I got an email from them, because they obviously still have your email address. Yeah. And it was like three pages long saying how they were like struggling with their four apartments that they rent out on Airbnb and if you'd like to donate, they'd really love your help.

I was just like, you've got four properties and it's so weird. Everyone's struggling and of all the things that you could donate to, why would it be that? I know, right? Why would it be a property mogul? Money to like Women's Refuge or the food banks or all the amazing charities doing work with, you know, people that are struggling right now.

Good Lord. Like not to a property investor in Europe because you've ticked up like four properties. Yeah, I'm sorry you bought four houses and now you need people to rent them out. So what are they thinking? I think I helped you pay your mortgage when I actually stayed at the house. I could be wrong.

Yeah. I mean, obviously they are struggling and it sucks, but like... Yeah, such is the world we live in at the moment. Yeah, but even for Airbnb to do that, I was just like, wow. But Airbnb, because lots of people were like, why would you donate to this billion dollar app? And they've said,

well, look, 100% of the donations will go to the people who own the houses. So they're not getting anything out of it, but still. But yeah,

like you say, billion dollar app. Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. I'm all, get started.

I'm all, get started. Get started. Don't get Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Megan, just before we get into Don't Get Fletch Started, what do you, how do you handle it when there's a change in your food shopping? You know, it might be something like they shift where the trolley bay is or maybe they switch around where things sit on the shelves. Or you just kind of adapt. Roll with the punches. Maybe ask someone where something is.

Yeah. Get a bit lost. Me too. But anyway, anyway. Oh, I better ask Fletch. You know how I feel about this because I told you that my supermarket near my house is going through a big reno. It's been reno'd for ages.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even I think the start of the year or end of last year they started and finally we're nearly there. And they're doing it all while it's open yeah i didn't go to that supermarket it's a bit of a dance you're going you know scaffolding and parts like closed off yeah and so obviously they were moving shelves around quite a bit and i was like that's fine you're renoing but i went there yesterday and it looks like a lot of the shelves are where they will be permanently from now on.

Okay. Because all the new flooring's down, all the new shelves are in. Well, that's good. No, I don't like it because everything's in a different place. Right, they've changed where everything is at the same time. The chips and lollies have gone over like four aisles. And the biscuits and coffee are back to the right, where they were to the left down the front. Oh, my God.

Have you just described the four things you go to the supermarket for? Yeah, and the cheese section. The cheese section's in another place. Do they have to move the whole fridge? There's, like, two different cheese sections, which is great because I love cheese, but... Yeah, the run-of-the-mill cheese section and then the fancy one. Yeah, the bougie cheese

$8 for a tiny wee square That's almost like a platter section now Have you noticed there seems to be a real platter section Of a supermarket Crackers and your quince paste I like that Recognising that cheese boards are legitimately a thing But you like you say very expensive

Yeah Very expensive But it's cheese. I don't smoke cigarettes, so that's my... Yeah, good call. This is your bias. Yeah. They'll be like, do you know how much a week cheese costs you? And I'll be like, ugh, if you hadn't been eating that much cheese, you could afford

a Ferrari. But like, well, you know what? I don't want a Ferrari. I want cheese. So you can't eat a Ferrari. Yeah, it is. Yeah, totally. So you've't eat a Ferrari. Isn't that what smokers say? Yeah, it is. Yeah, totally. So you've never experienced this before where your supermarket changes up? Not for a very long time, but it's been like that forever.

So I know if I'm in a rush and I need whatever I need, I know exactly where it is. But now it's all just been flipped on its head. Because I reckon my supermarket would do this around like every six or nine months. They change aisles. What? For no reason?

Well, no reason to me. Maybe there is a reason, but I think it's because then you have to wander more. You have to peruse. Well, they keep you on your toes. Because otherwise you just go for exactly what you need and you don't peruse other specials and if you get lost... I reckon it's a juggle up just to keep you on your toes.

If you get lost, you're like, oh, what's this? It's not special. But I tell you what, it lights up Just to keep you on your toes If you get lost You're like Oh what's this This is not special But I tell you what It lights up the local Facebook You probably don't know If there's an inner city living Facebook page

But if there's like A suburbs Facebook page And they change the supermarket Shit gets pretty lit Yeah it gets I know people get angry Like you do I know there's a big

You know Psychology behind Why they put certain things In aisles And they put things At eye a big, you know, psychology behind why they put certain things in aisles and they put things at eye level that are, you know, premium sellers or that they make the most money on, that kind of thing. Yeah. But yeah, it's just, oh, it's hard.

It's just hard. Did you end up buying something extra because you had to peruse a little bit? Yes. Biscuits, biscuits. Well, they've won. Yeah, because the coffee was... Done they've won Yeah because the coffee Done its job Yeah the coffee was

At the end of the biscuits Okay then Gotcha That's how they get you That's how they got you They probably spent Yeah A few thousand dollars

Paying people to shift it around And shift the little hangy signs Yeah They shifted the little hangy signs Yeah they're all You know when you look down the aisle And you see Yeah

And they've already made it back and people buying things that they didn't intend to buy. Yeah. Hot play. It's hard. I mean, 2020, it's been horrible. Just add that to the list, eh? Add that to the list of 2020.

Keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier. As it heralds new podcasts, the front page is your short, sharp daily news podcast. Join me, Damien Venuto, every weekday morning as I chat with journalists and newsmakers going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest news stories of the day. Listen to the front page at nzherald.co.nz

slash podcasts and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. And Adele Impersonator, Maria, she is from North East London. She has taken out a massive loan, almost or just over 20,000 New Zealand dollars. Okay. To get a gastric bypass surgery because she has lost work since Adele lost weight.

Oh, no. So she started being an impersonator because people were like, you sound like Adele. So she actually gets up and sings. Right. But yeah, she reckons. Does she look like her?

I mean, once she wears the kind of dress and she's got like a similar bob and the makeup and stuff. Yeah. If you look at that, it's quick. Because she can sing like her would have been the main. Yeah. And do they have a similar body shape?

She says she weighs 20 stone currently. But I would say, yeah, pretty similar body shape. But yes, I don't know if it's got anything to do with COVID and there's not so many parties and stuff maybe. Oh yeah, that's true because in the UK there isn't. She seems to think that it's because she doesn't look like. But the thing is we don't really know what Adele looks like. We've only had a few photos and it's not like she's been performing. Yeah.

But she's taken this drastic step to. No. Because what if Adele... Best estimations were that Adele lost around 45 kilograms. Wow, that's so much. Because she said the doctor said that she could lose, this Maria, the impersonator, could lose 11 to 12 stone. So she's 20 stone, which is 127 kilograms.

Okay. Right, okay. So if she lost the same amount as Adele, she'd be around about 85 kilograms. Right, okay. So she's looking to lose half her body mass. Like if she's 20 stone and she was losing 11 stone. Do you know anybody that's personally had a gastric bypass? No. Well, I mean, look at Paula Bennett.

Yeah. She had one. I know a couple of people that have had them. A guy I knew, he was tall. He was like six foot, maybe six foot three, six foot four. Did he play basketball? He was, no, no, not that tall. He was over 200 kgs.

Oh, wow. And he's under 100 kgs. And in fact, I know another guy too who was well into the 200s and is now like 80 80 yeah but she like she doesn't strike me as needing it she doesn't strike me as you know like it just seems like a not a very great idea or reason to do it because you just get some gigs impersonate yeah do a different job you know yeah or just do it i'd be like adele up to 2018. pre-covered pre-covered adele yeah yeah yeah yeah pre-covered adele yeah exactly well just sing as yourself because she's obviously

a great singer she can say yeah've got to write your own songs. Cover singer. She's paying $20,000 just to look like a doll now. This might be what you need. If you're trying for a baby, just because you get to eat french fries at the end of it. You get to have sex and then eat french fries. Sounds great.

Like straight after? Yep. Okay. Maybe even during. Yeah. Build it up. Yeah. Now apparently it's to do with the oils and the salts. So this is if you want to get pregnant. Do the deed. Yep. And then immediately

after eat french fries. Eat french fries. the deed. Yep. And then immediately after, eat French fries. Eat French fries. Hot chips. Okay. How great is that? Yeah. I wouldn't recommend doing it in the McDonald's

so that you can like finish and be like, yeah, large French fries, please. Like, yeah. Or the drive-thru. Have them ready to go, maybe. Yeah, maybe.

Which doesn't matter how quickly you get the chip afterwards. You want the chip pretty quickly. Pretty quickly. Apparently. How are they just a quick boost in salt? Oh, right.

Agreed. Oh, you want to time that. Yeah, order. See them coming. Yep. On the map. And then, yeah, time it. But then someone's got to go down to the door, don't they?

But then I would get nervous. My usual 45 seconds might be longer because of performance anxiety. Yeah, because you can see the little Toyota Corolla coming. I only just started. I'm freaking out over here. And what about if you have the chips pre? Not the same. Why not?

You've still got the salt and stuff. Surely it would work pre. Yeah, and then you're kissing someone and they taste like chips. So that's hot. That's also hot. Yeah. This doesn't make any sense. I can't say I've ever done that.

You know, you will kiss someone every now and then and you'll taste. Yeah. I've never been like, that's fresh off a French fry. That's not a French fry. But like when you have a passion And you've been like drinking You know And you're like whiskey Yeah

Yeah Purple goanna I've never Yeah I was going to say I've never Unfortunately As a whiskey fan

I've never pashed anybody And tasted whiskey Right I'm going to start Pashing more old men I like whiskey No no I know but

But we wouldn't pash No Yuck No offence Gross No offence. Gross, no offence. It's okay. So where did this come from, a study?

Yeah. Like an actual ride. Yeah, so, and this is just one of the many, if you have told people that you're trying for babies, this is where you start hearing all of these pieces of advice. Is this? And then the advice never stops, because then when you're pregnant, there's all the advice. And then when you have the baby, there's even more advice.

And then when you start growing up, there's advice. Maybe it's starting to dry off a little bit maybe. Yeah. But everyone's always got some old wives' tale that might help you get pregnant or like the time of, you know, when to have sex to make sure it's a little boy or a girl or anything like that. So I was wondering, what's that? No, I was just going to say this doesn't sound like there's any scientific backing. Is it just an old wives tale?

Yeah, mostly old wives tales. But I'd like to know if when you were trying for a baby, what was the advice you got? Like, what was the weird pregnancy advice? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Like... Stand on your head.

That's one, though. Is it? Is it? Yeah. Go headstand. Gravity do the work. Or just hang off the bed. Hang off the bed.

That's close enough, isn't it? No, because then the top half of your bottom is very drastically down, but the bottom half would still be flat. Oh, yeah, true. Unless you go into like an assisted handstand. Yeah, right. Yeah. Sounds too hard.

Gravity assist. There's that. I've heard that one before. Right. So just any pregnancy advice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What weird pregnancy advice yeah yeah yeah what what weird pregnancy advice did you get and like from the crazier relative the better you know like maybe auntie lynn

would have some great advice maybe your uncle met a woman in eastern europe and married her and she came home and she's like got some real like you you want to eat the raw fish sort of vibe? And you're like, no. Sorry, Auntie Helga. I won't. I'm not that keen. All right, well, give us a call. 0800-DARLES-AT-HEM-9696.

When, what advice did you get about pregnancies, about babies? So we want to know the weird pregnancy advice that you've received. Yeah, it could be how to get pregnant because apparently french fries. Like we needed an excuse. Right after the deed.

French fries. Yeah. Or hot chips. Parsley, somebody said before. There are some weird ones coming through. Marley, what was the weird pregnancy advice you got?

So I had a friend who struggled to get pregnant, and she actually gave me the advice to try for a boy, you have to have the big O, and if you want to try for a girl, you can't have the big O. Right, okay. And I think it's worked. I've got a son and a daughter, and I can recall what happened.

Yeah, this is not it. I can recall what happened. Marley, this is not good for me. I've got two daughters, and I was pretty sure they was having a good time. I know, but every time, if I see, if I look at males and females sometimes, I look at them and I look at couples and I go, yeah, right. Oh my god.

That'd be right. She doesn't look like that'd be a good time. A guy walking around with his six daughters, you're like, yeah, okay. Yeah, I do that. I do that. But I know my son and daughter, what happened, so I think the advice works. Do they know that, Marley? Do they know that. But I know my son and daughter what happened. So I think the advice works. Do they know that, Marley? Do they know that?

Do they know that mum had a good time for one of them? My son knows and he's disgusted. Yeah, I bet. I don't like the fact that I'm the result of not a good time. That's sad. Your brother, on the other hand. Your mum liked that one. Yeah, brilliant.

Marley, thanks for your call. Jess, what was the weird pregnancy advice that you got? So, my grandmother went into massive detail about if you wanted a girl, you had the female or the woman had to have the big O before the man. Right. And if you wanted a boy, the woman had to have her go after the gen. Does grandma know how that works? Because mostly when the guy has his,

I think we're almost done here. Yeah, exactly. I have no idea. This is from my very prim and proper grandmother who wouldn't even talk about a woman's monthly cycle. It's good to know Grandad could power through, though. That's hot to know Grandad had the going distance. Isn't it?

Hey, thanks for your call, Jess. Mike, what was the weird pregnancy advice that you got? Oh, you can go on. I love your show. Oh, thank you, Mike. Thanks, Mike. Yeah, my twins are going to hate me for the story, but we were struggling to have a child,

so we're going to a specialist. Right. And the doctor said, hey, do you know how to tell when you're ovulating? And we said, we haven't got a bloody clue. So he said to my wife, come on to bed, have a wee look. I said, good on you, mate. Anyway, and so he says, right,, yep, you're over the line now.

You've got to get home and do the deed. And I said, have we got a couple of days? He said, no, no, no, no, get home now. Away you go. The problem being that we hadn't been talking for about two days. I had a massive argument about nothing. I think she was hitting the remote control or something like that. So we went home.

Righto, get up on the bloody bed. Righto, bang, boo. Okay we went home. Righto. Get up on the bloody bed. Righto. Bang. Boom. Okay. Bang, bang, boom. And straight away, twins. Boom. Oh, wow! Are they boy twins or girl twins? One of each. One of each. This completely blows Grandma's orgasm thing out of the water.

Maybe that was a half orgasm? I don't know. Real confusing time. Really? Wow! It's like argument sex then. Really, how do you fight argument sex then? Yeah, argument sex can be the key. Argument sex leads to twins, so don't have argument sex. Mike, thanks for your call. Roger, what was the weird pregnancy advice you got? Bury a boiled egg in the garden.

Roger, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Why? We'll put it this way. It didn't work. Peeled or unpeeled? No, I think I had the shell on. Don't be silly, Megan. I'm sorry.

The big question is, did we do it? Did you do it? Yes. Yeah, because you said it didn't work. Now, what did burying the boy a leg in the garden promise you, Roger? Oh, supposedly a baby. I don't know. Oh, right.

Okay. Who told you this? I can't remember who it was. I think it was my ex's, one of my ex's flaky friends or something. I'm not sure. I'm not going to lie to you, Roger. Did you say that on the radio? You can say flaky.

It doesn't sound. I've Googled this. The only thing that's coming up is that it's just great for calcium and fertiliser. Oh, really? We've got a good baby plant over it or something, I suppose. Yeah, you've grown a great fruit tree. Hiya, Roger. Thanks for your call, mate.

Some other text messages. I was told to keep smoking because it was not only increased your chances of getting pregnant, but it was better for the baby, even though I hadn't been smoking for a year before we started trying. One of the many stupid things my mother-in-law has told me. Yeah, maybe keep to advice from a medical professional. Yeah. She doesn't sound qualified. Flesh, fawn and Megan, the podcast.

ZM. What would Ray Ray say? We turn to her for advice like a Christian turns to the Bible. People of the Islamic faith turn to the Quran. And other religions turn to other books that I don't know the names of. She's our little religious book and we're opening her to RayRay417 Wow For a pearl of wisdom Good morning RayRay

Good morning Cold up there? Yep Well As grandma used to say It's like a witch's tit here today It's very cold Why do you think a witch's tit would have been cold?

Is it because she's on the broom? I don't know It was just a saying that these old wisdom people have. Yeah, I was always confused by any reference to anybody's tit being cold. Well, I think it would be the altitude because if you've ever been on a plane and it's minus 50 out there, you'd imagine a witch's tit would be minus 50. It's bigger than brass monkeys, isn't it? Yeah.

All right, well, as always, Ray Ray, we've had a lot of listeners asking for advice. You're our pearls of wisdom. Oh, good Lord. First question. Mum, how do I tell my flatmates to keep it down during hanky-panky? Well, this is very difficult, and it's a very sensitive subject. I would play Elvis Costello or Jimmy Barnes, something rugged,

and make it real loud. When they complain, say, well, look, you know, we've obviously got a problem here because we're sick of hearing the headboard banging on the wall. Perhaps we'd better discuss this, I think. Right, so you make them bring up the noise you're creating as the issue, and then you say, well, my noise is to drown out your noise.

You see, listening to Jimmy Barnes, I'd think, oh my God, I can't concentrate. Fair call. Fair call. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, he's a working class man. Yeah. Or Elvis, one or the other.

Yeah, yeah, right. Something rugged that will really irritate them and then they'll come out and you can discuss it. That can be discussed. Yeah, that's a good idea. Something that'll kill the mood. Yeah. Next question.

I made a mistake and now I miss my man. How do I win him back? It doesn't say what the mistake is. No. I'm going to assume cheating. What did you do? I mean, did you wash his undies with your red wet sweatshirt or did you put too much curry powder in the curry?

You could just apologise but you could make him some chocolate chippy biscuits and make sure you put the chips in. Don't get them mixed up with the laxative chips that you give the kids for Halloween. Oh, I think you're saying maybe a bit of... Yeah.

Viagra chip. Yeah. Retaliation. Say you're sorry and then, I don't know, make something nice. To be fair, mum's chocky chips could, like, bring world peace, probably. Really?

Peace in the Middle East? Don't get the laxative ones. Okay. I didn't know that was a thing. I didn't know there was laxative chips. Yeah, laxative chocolate chips. Yep. Did I get those as a child?

Goodness me. What's wrong with you people? You're away with the eight ball. Everybody knows about laxative chocolate chips. I've never heard of laxative. No, do you put them in Bum? I'm thinking to help it all get moving. Can you keep a secret?

Yeah. Well, I'm not going to tell you then. Sounds like sabotage. It does. Like mum sabotage. Obviously, I might bring some up and make some for you, Megan. No. I have a feeling I've already had them.

Although it does sound like the calories would cancel out, right? Because you'd exit the biscuit pretty quickly from your body? Yeah. They're pretty potent. You've got to be... Oh, Jesus. I do not want to cross... Kids come up for Halloween,

you never see them again. They walk past them. You can tell they're saying, oh, I don't want to go there. They've got to cross-legged walk to get home as quickly as possible. Ray Ray, some great advice as always. It's advice, isn't it? Yeah, it's advice it is. Ray Ray,

thank you so much. Nice talking. See you later. Bye. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Hey, you on the phone, I bet I can guess your mum's name. We welcome to the show this morning, Amy. Good morning.

Morning, guys. How are you? Really good, really good. Welcome to I Bet I Can Guess Your Mum's Name. Vaughan is going to ask you five questions to establish your mum's name and then has 15 seconds to try and guess your mum's name. Okay. Vaughan Smith coming off the back of a couple of hot wins the last few weeks.

Okay. Hi. Good morning, weeks. Okay. Hi. Good morning, Amy. Morning. What did that tell you about her mum's name? What didn't it tell me about her mum's name? My first question is, does your mum share a name with, like, a New Zealand celebrity?

Has there ever been someone with a high profile? Not that I'm aware of, no. Well, this doesn't help me. At all. Okay. I'm going to put a cross beside that one. She said not that she knows of.

Yeah, I know. That's why it doesn't help me at all. If it was a definitive yes or a definitive no. Yeah, I know. That's why it doesn't help me at all. If it was a definitive yes or a definitive no. Yeah. How old is your mum? Mum's

62. Okay. 62. I feel like that's the same age as my mum. Okay. So now I'm thinking of all my mum's friends. Okay. You're just going to name all your mum's friends? Yeah. How many friends does your mum have? Quite a few. Okay. Quite a few friends. Yeah, right. They're just going to name all your mum's friends? Yeah. How many friends does your mum have? Quite a few.

Okay. Quite a few friends. Yeah, right. They're not like, as she puts it, we don't live in each other's pockets. Wow. We don't need to go and have breakfast together every day. No. But we'll see them.

We'll enjoy our time with them. But we don't live in each other's pockets. That's brilliant. I should just open up my mum's Facebook and just scroll through her friends because she doesn't have too many friends. If your mum has siblings, what are her siblings' names? Her siblings' names are

Delwyn, Liz, and Graham. Delwyn. Delwyn, Liz, and Graham. Delwyn, Liz. So they're all gentlemen. Delwyn's Delwyn. Liz and Graham. Delwyn. Liz. So they're all gentlemen. Delwyn for girl. Oh, I thought Delwyn was for like Del.

You know how you meet a guy called Del? No, no female Delwyn. Okay. Delwyn. I'm just going to put an F. And then Liz is M and Graham M. Correct. Yeah, right.

So that might be So that's the, she might be my mum's age, but I think that's a, they were named by older, you know, that feels like an older, Yeah. Yeah.

an older bracket, doesn't it? She's the baby of the family. She's a! You gave him a freebie, Amy. That's a freebie. That's a freebie, Amy. Unbelievable. But then again,

it's in Amy's best efforts, isn't it? Because she wants to win the cash. But I think they win either way right? Because they get one over me if they don't guess. I think you're rating yourself. I think people would rather have $100

Really? Yeah. Slip one past the old smithy. To be able to tell their friends they've slipped one past the old smithy. I reckon they want to see if they can slip one past the old smithy. To be able to tell their friends they've slipped one past the old smithy. I reckon they want to see if they can slip one past the old smithy. All right. One of my other questions. What's mum's signature dish? What does mum cook?

It's one of her go-tos. She does a real good mince and cheese pie. Does she? Does she make the pastry? Does she buy the pastry pre-made? No, she pre-made. Lazy. Pie.

I'm going to put pie, I'm going to put pre-made pastry and I'm going to put like a line under pre-made. Mum's busy. She doesn't have all the time to be... Folding butter into... Yeah. And what has mum's occupation been throughout her life?

What's her job? Oh, she's done many things. She's been a florist and a beautician and owned a business and at the moment she works at the hospital as a scheduler.

Okay. Wow. All right. I feel like you've had like six questions. Yeah. No, that's five. That's the final.

What's a scheduler do at a hospital? So if you have to have like a surgery or something, they're the ones that book your time slot, basically. So she can, like if you were like. Does she take cashies under the table? Yeah, for a bit of a bump. Well, I just had surgery two weeks ago and got them pretty quick.

Oh, boy. Well, let's not get mum in trouble, Amy. Well, people have been waiting six months for a knee reconstruction. Anyway. Amy's like, people have been waiting six months for a knee reconstruction. Anyway. Amy's like, it hurts. Thank you. All right, well. Some perks.

All right. Vaughn, you've asked your five questions. Yep. You now have 15 seconds to guess Amy's mum's name. Amy, if you hear your mum's name, yell out, stop, that's my mum's name. Here we go, your 15 seconds, Vaughan. Okay. Starts now. Sue, Julie,

Janice, Carol, Pam, Heather, Janet, Wendy, Diane, Linda, Mary, Margaret, Susan, Patricia, Judy, Mark. Yeah, stop, that's my mum's name. Was it the very last Susan Patricia Judy Mark Yes stop

That's my mum name Was it The very last Judy Which one Judy Judy Is it Judith

Or Judy No it's Judy Because I had Judith written down But I said Judy By accident Did you Oh well there you go

That's why I said it And I was like And I stopped afterwards Did you get last week Right, there you go. That's why I said it. And I was like, and I stopped afterwards. Didn't you get last week right on the buzzer too? He did, yeah. Wow. That's another mid-court throw. Wow. Also, controversial because I knew your mum's name was Judy

and there's Judy Bailey, New Zealand celebrity. Mother of the nation. And I thought... Amy! I told you that Amy might throw you off with that. She said, not they know of. You missed Judy Bailey. Would you have thought Judy Bailey? Well, when she said the age,

I would have started thinking about, like, older celebrities. Yeah, right. Okay, well, it doesn't matter anyway, Amy, because you have won $100 cash. Congratulations. Bonus round! While you're on the phone, I'll have a go at guessing your dad's name. Now, so you've already won $100.

Now, it's another $100 if Vaughn can guess your dad's name with no questions, just one guess. Okay. Judy and? Dave. I feel like we always say Dave. Well, like we've previously established, there's only five dads names. But it is a classic dad's name, isn't it?

Judy and Dave. Or Pete. Bill. Judy and Bill. Pete. We always say Peter too. We've got like a list of... Yeah, but we never strike the right one on the right time, do we?

Judy and Peter. Judy and Dave. Judy and Philip. Judy and Phil. Phil. Phil and Judy and Philip. Judy and Phil. Phil. Phil and Judy. Should we go and catch up with Phil and Judy? Yeah.

Okay, well, I've just received a Facebook message from Executive Intern Anya. She does not have approval for a second $100. So please don't give him any clues. Okay. Zinzan. Management really appreciate you taking a real left-field approach there, Vaud. Just save the company money. That's my absolute favorite.

It's not Zinzan. Shucks, it's not Zinzan. Amy, what's your dad's name? Dad's name's Greg. Judy and Greg. Oh, what a classic. I love how we're like, ah. It wasn't any of the disgust names. Oh, bloody course.

Hey, Amy, congratulations, $100. And Boone's Winning Street continues with three in a row. I bet I can use your dad's name. Go for it. Connect four. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Yesterday, we went out for a little brunch as a show. Mm.

And I opted for a controversial dish at 11am, but it was tortellini and it came with like a tomato-y sauce. It was delicious. Mm. However. I thought it was weird to go for, can I say, a vegetarian tortellini for brunch?

Yeah. Especially when there's everything else at brunch on offer. Mmm. I thought it sounded delicious. What got into your head there? It was like. Walk us through your thoughts.

Well, it was a butternut tortellini and I'm a big fan of like pumpkins and the pumpkin family. Are you? And. I've never known you as a big fan of it. But I'm not going to go crazy about it. The pumpkin family? No, I'm a big fan of pumpkins.

Okay. Huge fan. It just sounded good. It sounded like out of the list of food available, that's what I wanted. But the problem was I was wearing a white top and this came in quite a soupy, tomatoey, I'm guessing tomatoey base.

It was like bright orange. Now, I always slop food down my front. Always. Like the first time we ever met, I did. Yeah. And usually when my husband's there, he's always giving me a warning, like you're wearing a white top. He always has to warn me, like lean over my food.

This is why I don't wear white tops. I don't wear white tops. Yeah. It's handy that he does that for you. Yeah a white top. He always has to warn me, like, lean over my food. This is why I don't wear white tops. I don't wear white tops. Yeah. It's handy that he does that for you. Yeah. Slash. That's sad. But he was in there yesterday.

Literally the first spoonful of this tortellini and the orange saucy stuff dribbled down my white top. It was like a butter chicken orange, wasn't it? Yeah. Very. And you tried to hide it by covering it up with your jacket, your blazer. But I noticed because of the angle. I was like, Megan, what have you done there?

I had to tell the whole table. It wasn't like a little bit either. It had dribbled all down my white top. Yeah. And a tomato. I was like, it's going to be an hour or a couple of hours before I can get it in the washing machine. It's done for. Yeah.

So when I went home, I did the nappy sand paste and it got a little bit out, but there's still the orange residue. So at this point- I think you've got to learn, like, mum can get anything out with a bit of nappy sand, but I'll try it nothing. Yeah, right. I have no luck with nappy sand. Are you doing a hot wash?

You should do a cold wash. Huh? So you do a hot wash. No, she just puts the, she makes the paste. Yeah. On the top. Yeah. Or whatever's got the stain in.

She rubs it and it just seems to go. Yeah, but if you put that in a hot water, it'll bake the stain in. You've got to use a cold water. Are you doing that? No, because she gets the stain out before there's ever a wash. Wait a minute. You're talking about what you make the paste with. No, I'm talking about when you put it.

When you wash it. When you wash it. I make the paste with the hot water. Have I gone wrong? Well, it depends on the stain, doesn't it? With the hot

and the cold water. I think Muggy knows something about Nappy Sand. She's not sure in her secrets because she doesn't want me to put her in a home. So the minute I've got

that off her, I'm done with her. I'm like, teach me how to use the Nappy Sand, woman. She's like, it's the one thing keeping me out of the retirement home. I'm like, teach me how to use the nappy sand, woman. She's like, it's the one thing keeping me out of the retirement home.

I'm like, teach me your secrets. I'll never teach you, boy. I'm like, don't find it. I've got a little stain on my t-shirt. Pass it here. I'll get it out. So, yeah, went through the wash. Still there.

Still orange. It literally was the first time I wore this top, too. So, at this point, I'm like, well, stuff it. It's done the first time I wore this top too. So at this point I'm like, well stuff it, it's done for. Yeah. Welcome to my life. I'll get something. This is why I don't spend much money on clothes. Because the first time I wear it, I ruin it.

Yeah. Case in point, these jeans. You need to wash those. They're so disgusting. And those are really expensive jeans too. Those are Subies. I didn't buy them. Yeah, because you were given them and you treat them with no respect. It sickens me. Those are sous-vies. I didn't buy them. Yeah, because you were given them

and you treat them with no respect. It sickens me. Those are disgusting. It's just material. We should get a swab done on those jeans. Yeah. No, we shouldn't actually. No, we shouldn't.

Ignorant. They haven't got COVID. Ignorant. No, they'll have something else. No, I want to know what's growing on them. They might have the plague. Have any mushrooms popped up? It's so close.

On your jeans, I feel like they're very close. No mushrooms. You need to wash those jeans. Shittake? Yeah, those young ones, yeah. Are you ready for my hack, though? Yes. So at this point, I'd written it off and been like,

well, throw caution to the wind. And I don't have bleach because, I don't know, what do you use bleach for? So I... Doing your hair? Yes. So I got out the only thing that I knew

that had bleach in the title. It was my toilet duck bleach gel. Okay. And I toilet ducked my top. So I had the little orange blobs from the source.

I literally just squirted the toilet duck on the blobs and left it. How long for? Probably about 15 minutes. Oh, okay. And I came back. What was the fabrique? Because you know what? I would have tried as well, exit mould.

That stuff will melt anything. That would have been my next. Yeah. Although I read somewhere that exit mould doesn't get rid of the mold. It just bleaches the mold. Yeah, yeah. It just colors it. So unless you like brush away the mold, it's still there.

It's just bleached it. Maybe you felt what that does to your nose though. Good luck, Jim, surviving that. Yeah. But I was like, well, it's either going to burn a hole or orange color or something terrible or it's going to work. And 15 minutes later, I came back and you can't see the stain. Wait, so you didn't have to wash once the toilet duct was on?

No, but I did wash it because I wanted to stop the bleaching process. Put it in the washing machine. It came out brand new. Wow. Because I toilet ducted my top. Obviously, it's only going to work for whites because you're bleaching. And you wanted to do a test spot first.

I did do a test spot. You did do a test spot. Down the bottom seam at the back. On the inside? Oh, no. So my mum always said you just do it on the seam on the bottom, but you do it on the inside in case it all goes haywire. Now, I've got a navy blue top with a stain.

Should I use the blue toilet dust? Yes. Is that how that works? Yeah. And then if it takes the colour out, colour it in with a stain. Should I use the blue toilet duck? Yes. Is that how that works? Yeah. And then if it takes the colour out, colour it in with a felt. Perfect.

Or just do the whole thing in toilet duck to make the whole t-shirt like a light blue. Yeah. You could do that. Or tie it up and get like a

bleachy pattern. Wow. That's a good life tip though for whites. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Just make sure you wash it afterwards

otherwise you might have a hole. I'll give you an update when I get home too just in case it's like gone. There might just be a giant hole in there. It was just in.

Someone used the XM mold on their undies and it went back to white. See, I don't know why people buy white undies. Like they, you know like a brand new You're a grown ass man.

What are you doing in your undies? No, but I'm just saying Skids? Come on, Megan. Regardless of how old you are, Megan, you can do skids. Yeah.

Skids aren't the property of the preteen. Do better wiping. It's disgusting. Yeah, sometimes you do wipe. Skids aren't always caused from the wipe. They're just caused

from an enthusiastic fart. It's not. God. Or an itch. You have a little itch. And then all of a sudden, you've got a fart. Oh my God. Or an itch. You have a little itch and then all of a sudden you've got a fart.

My husband has white undies and they are fine. You need to sort your shit out. He's exit molding when you're not on. He's sneaking on

for a little exit mold on the undies. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is,

I think this would be an interesting four-part Netflix documentary. Okay. About the murky death of Ghislaine. You know Jeffrey Epstein's? Yeah. Ghislaine? Ghislaine. Ghislaine.

Ghislaine. Ghislaine. But it's, yes. Every time you read it, you just go Ghislaine. Yep. Ghislaine. Ghislaine. Yep.

But she's not dead. No, but her father is. Oh, okay. And her father's death, very, very suspicious. In fact, her father was the inspiration for the Bond villain in the 1997 James Bond film Tomorrow Never Dies. Really? A psychopathic media mogul who plans to trigger World War III

in order to secure broadcasting rights in China. Played by Jonathan Pryce. And is that what he did? He was a media mogul. He came, he was originally from Czechoslovakia. That's where he was born. He was born into poverty. He built himself a media empire.

And that was how he got his millions and millions of dollars. Right. But in 1991, he fell off the back of his ship as it was anchored in the Canary Islands. And at the end of the Bond movie, when Bond beats the bag, spoiler alert, sorry about that, but James Bond wins. Yeah, I think you're allowed a spoiler alert decades old movie. Yeah, okay.

From 1997. When he is stopped by James Bond, M asks them to make it look like he fell off the back of his luxury yacht in the Canary Islands. Oh. And he's, yeah, apparently the guy made no secret of it. The screenwriter said, I've based this villain on what people believe to be the true story of this.

Who wanted him dead? So there's thoughts, a few different situations wanted him dead. The Israeli intelligence service. Oh, yep, They could do that. They said maybe it could have even been someone closer to him. Yeah. Including his daughter. Ghislaine.

Ghislaine. His boat, his 15 million pound yacht was called the Lady Ghislaine. Right. Ghislaine. Ghislaine. Yeah. He was 68 years old and they said he was a big lad, but he was in pretty good health at the time. So it was very, very suspicious.

Wow. Yeah. Okay. So today's fact of the day is a Bond villain is actually based on Ghislaine Maxwell's father. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. rules because this has happened in the COVID world. A woman has had a garden party. Questions are whether she should actually be doing that because this is in the UK.

But she invited friends over. First of all, they had to take a bottle of Prosecco and they had to contribute to lunch. Right. And once they got there, she stopped anyone from using the bathroom or even going inside because of COVID.

Wait, but they had to bring something for a shared lunch. Yeah. And their own bottle of... And it'll be in each other's space as well. No word on whether they're wearing masks. But even social distancing, if they were practicing that in the garden, a garden party, there would have been the shared food, which would have been problematic because...

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So she had antiseptic wipes there and they were like wiping down everything and I guess trying to do the right thing. But yeah, no one was allowed to go inside for wheeze and they were drinking and no one was allowed to go inside at all. Where can you go wheeze? Well, that's the other thing.

You're asking, you're kind of saying you can go in the garden. Right? You don't really want people going in your garden. Because where else are they going to go? They might be a lemon tree. Is that good for a lemon tree? They love it. Give you some rich tomatoes too.

But, I mean, not to this extreme, but would love to know if you had some weird house rules or maybe you went round to someone's house. Oh, yeah. There was always, it was parents always. When you were a kid and you'd go round to somebody else's house and there was always like different rules.

You'd be like, this is weird because I'm a kid. I can only kind of work out one set of rules. Yeah, this is not how we do it at my household. Yeah. Weird other people's house rules. Do your parents have any weird house rules? But then you wouldn't know they're weird. You wouldn't know your own house rules were weird

because you'd be used to them. I don't think so. You've been to my house. Did they tell you to do anything? Take your shoes off at the door. Yeah, that's about it. That's a fair enough one, though. I think your parents were like, no, you're right.

You know how sometimes you go to take your shoes off and they're like, no, no, no, no, no, you're right. You know how sometimes you go to take your shoes off and they're like, no, no, no, no, no, it's fine. Yeah. But you kind of already started to take them off so you might as well

finish the... Yeah. What about Ian and Christine? Did they have any weird house rules? I'm sure they did but I grew up with them so maybe I'm not...

So it's not weird to you. Aware. Yeah. To them. Right. Well, maybe you've gone around to someone's house. Somebody said,

actually one I'll remember, we ate dinner as the family at the table every single night. Yeah. But we one I'll remember, we ate dinner as the family at the table every single night. Yeah. But we turned the TV around so we could watch TV at the dinner table.

Oh, we were not allowed TV. And people thought that was weird that we were watching TV but we were all sat together as a family because some people would come around

and be like, you're allowed to watch TV when you eat dinner. Well, we did that, yeah. Yeah, but then other people were like, do you sit at the table every night

because they'd just sit wherever and eat their dinner on like the floor watching TV in front of the TV. Dad had a seat at the table and he was the only one that could see the TV from where he was. It was so unfair because none of us were allowed to watch it. Nah, because you would have mucked,

being a father now, you would have mucked around and been distracted by the TV and not eaten your dinner. And you would have been sitting there for half an hour and now it's gone cold. Of course you don't want to eat it. That's verbatim a speech I've given many a time.

And talking about the weird house rules that other people have had, you've gone over to their house, maybe as a kid or as an adult, and there's just a weird rule for whatever reason. Some text messages. I went to a mum's group. So that's where you take all your kids and we went to a mum's group So that's where you take all your kids And we went to a friend's house And they said

One thing is We don't sit on the floor here To this day I still have no idea why But God was on a mission Trying to keep a one and a half year old From sitting on the floor Oh so the kids go to Oh what

Yeah Do they not like Do they have nice carpet or something I love sitting on the floor Yeah I love lying on the floor Sometimes There. I love lying on the floor sometimes. There's no seats. I'll just lie because I can't sit because I can't sit cross-legged.

Yeah, right. It's like sitting cross-legged on the floor. It's just like being on the mat. It's cool. Phillip, you had a friend with a weird house rule. You weren't allowed to ride your bike on the grass. Oh, no. Okay, right.

It's really hard to ride it on the grass anyway no okay it's really hard to ride on the grass anyway well you're 12 years old you're a kid you bike on the grass so that's where you get told to bike on the grass but you don't expect the girl man come screaming out of the house going get off my girl i know all people love their grass eh oh but how good mortified. How good is the freedom of not having to stick to the concrete? Rarrr. Brilliant. Hey, Philippa, thanks for your call. Ruby, you experienced someone's weird house rule.

Yeah, it was actually my cousin. So, they weren't allowed to charge their phones at night in case they caught fire. Wow. That's really living in fear, isn't it? it Oh it was ridiculous Like we're in our early 20s now And we're still not allowed to charge our phones

At night in case they catch fire Just get a smoke detector I know And they're the kind of family that still have Nightlights on in the hallway And we're like Yeah for the monsters The monsters are legit.

Yeah, thanks you, Ruby. Brooke, you experienced some weird house rules? Yes, I went and stayed with a friend recently. I'm 22 and her family told me off because I filled the kettle all the way up to boil it. Apparently that takes too much power. Wow. I never fill the kettle all the way,

but I wouldn't tell you off if you did. No, because I'm lazy. I'm like, if I just fill this... It takes too long to boil. Yeah, just a couple of cups, then it'll boil faster. Yeah, but you're making everybody a cup of coffee. Yeah.

Yeah, because then you were constantly filling it up. Yeah. Which was even more annoying. So even if you were going to use all of that water, you still weren't allowed to fill it up and boil it? No. And I mean, they weren't allowed to fill it up and boil it? No. And I mean, they weren't a poor family or anything. They were quite well off.

And so I was just very taken back that they were very concerned about how much power it was going to take to boil the kettle. Yeah, yeah. I just feel like, oh, look, here's 20 cents. Calm down. Yeah. I'm filling the kettle and boiling it all. Thanks for your call, Brooke.

Ask some text messages. My friend's parents had a lounge room that they built. They had it added onto their house, and the kids were not allowed in that room. That was the new adults' lounge. Sounds like something was happening in the adults' lounge. Peace and quiet. Oh, yeah.

TV where they got to choose what was on the channel. My mind went somewhere else. But you don't have kids. My immediate thought was a nice comfortable couch where someone's not climbing on it and doing bloody gymnastics on the floor in front of you while you're trying to watch television. Can we change it to Nickelodeon?

Oh God, cattle prod them. Get away. Easier to build a lounge and more legal to build a lounge. Oh yeah, cattle prodding's not legal, is it? Frowned upon. You're frowned upon. If you enjoyed this podcast, Legal to build a lounge. Oh, yeah, cattle prodding's not legal, is it? Frowned upon. Oh, you're frowned upon.