ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 16th June 2020

Episode Date: June 15, 2020

Drivethru Horse & Cart  Finland is pretty happy  This Is Why I'm Fat!  Jareds Gym Romance  Pathetic Firsts  Cold Showers  When did you have a food injury?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, brought to you by McCafé. Grab yourself a delicious barista-made coffee for only $4. ZM. Head music. Lose the air. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Good morning.

Good morning. Coming up on the show, the top six. Yes. The All Blacks. That's right. That's six. Yes. The All Blacks. That's right. That's what it is. The All Blacks. Are you watching the Fortnite event?

Yeah, it's got 50 seconds. The countdown is almost over. What's happening in new season? Ah, yeah, so it's the start of a new season, but there's some big event happening. Oh. So. Do you want to come and watch the Jared's going to watch it?

I can see it in your screen reflection. Jared's going to watch it too. Yeah, so the All Blacks apparently are going to be offering up the All Blacks, the Black Ferns, the All Black Sevens, the Black Fern Sevens, all the teams that fall under the All Blacks umbrella. They're going to be offering sponsorship of the jersey for $300 million. Because it was AIG, wasn't it? Yeah.

It was the last sponsor on the jersey. So I've got the top six companies that could possibly afford $300 million in the current climate. If no one takes it, well, they're just going to drop their price, right? I guess. I don't know. Unless they play hardball. But Who knows You've got glitter on your face

Like just there I want it there Why have I got glitter on my face I don't know What have you been up to I don't know Did you go out last night Did you go out on a Monday night

To where We're smooching on the dance floor Yeah Getting the dirty grind Was there glitter on the dance floor. Yeah. Getting the dirty grind. Is there glitter on the dance floor? So, well, you know, some people get glittered up, don't they? Because you go to a festival.

You go to some sort of free love festival. That makes sense, yeah. In the woods. Glittered my boobs. Huh? Got on my face. Oh, yeah, right. Yeah.

Fair enough. All right. Next on the show, a man's had a run-in at the drive-thru. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Well, it wasn't a Macca's drive-thru that this happened in, but it was a drive-thru in Cumbria in England. Right. A man was refused service and asked to leave for the health

and safety of other customers and staff as he tried Ian Bell, age 55, to drive his horse and cart through a drive-through. He said, John John, his horse, is as good as gold. Horse and carts were around a long time before motorcars. He's furious that once he got up there because he was going to order a bargain bucket. Shut up, Siri. He was going to order a bargain bucket. Shut up, Siri. He was going to order a bargain bucket.

Right. All of a sudden, he wasn't allowed to go through nor order the bucket, even though he'd been in line. Right. He's a traveller, so this is how he drives. He prefers a horse and a cart. When you say cart, is it? A buggy.

Like a two-wheeled. It's quite quite, like, sturdy, though? Because you know how some drive-thrus got judder bars and it's not too high for the... Well, it's not got big bike wheels on it. Right. Like a hefty mountain bike wheel. It looks like it's perhaps been homemade.

But then you don't want a horse... You don't want a horse doing a big poo in the drive-thru. Yeah, I think that was the main issue with the hygiene situation. He's already there, though. Yeah, just serve him. Just serve him and say in future we don't want new horse through here. And how unpredictable horses could be.

Like a loud noise might happen and the horse could bolt. Yeah. Cause injury to people. It's not like you can tie up your horse in the car park and go in. Because then someone might steal your horse or the horse might bolt. I reckon if you tied it up, do a double knot, and I don't reckon people would steal it.

Or just tie it to a couple of trolleys. Anchor it down. Trolleys? Well, yeah, I'm just thinking about the car park. That's not a good anchor. No. You'd want to tie it to a lamppost. You familiar with the idea of a trolley?

Yeah, but there's nowhere to tie your horse in a car park, is there? Lamposts and fences. Oh, very's nowhere to tie your horse in a car park, is there? Lamp posts and fences. Oh, very rarely. Not in a big, giant car park. Like, there might be those bars that indicate, no, you can't park any further this way. Trolley bay.

Tuck it to that. Yeah, suck to the trolley bay. The trolley bay would be better. But, like, surely by serving him, you're getting him out there quicker than having an argument. Just serve him, get him out, and say, next time don't bring your horse through the drive-thru. No word how long the argument went. We tried going through a drive-thru once, didn't we?

Two o'clock in a non-existent car. That was a new plumber. They don't like that. It doesn't set off the senses, does it? No, there's another reason for that. I think it was that they don't want you getting run over by the next person.

Yeah. Yeah. You're just being stupid, aren't you? Because at a fair point, we didn't have any taillights working, did we?

No. Now, if we'd had taillights, if we'd maybe gone onto our phone and searched red and Google and then made that full screen and then turned

the brightness right up and then held them back like that. We would have been fine. And you could have had the flashlight at the front. Yes. Two flashlights at the front. But then, of course, when we'd leave, we'd need somebody to go to the other side and flash an orange one on and off as an indicator that we were turning. Yeah.

Not impossible. We got rid of that car. It didn't get a warrant. I tell you what. It didn't get a warrant. Oh. I tell you what. It was an absolute death trap. When they wanted to change the oil too, that was quite invasive. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

So apparently millennials are the new boomers. Millennials are from when to when. Do you want to break down? Yeah, because I think millennials... It's always slightly different, but sometimes it's 80,

1980, sometimes it's like 85. 1980. I always thought it was 1980 to 2000 or something like that was millennials. Yeah, because after that

it became Gen Z, right? Yeah. So, Gen Y or millennials Born between 1980 and 1994 Okay And so those people are currently 26 to 40 years old Yeah Gen Z the newest generation to be named Born between 95 and 2015

See because I think Some 20 years 40 year olds like some people who are close to 40 are like slamming millennials. I'm like, dude, you are one. You know? Yeah. Millennials are a little bit older than what people think and they're getting confused as Gen Zers.

I always hear different age kind of definitions of that. Right. Yeah. But I think it's always older than what people think. Right. Yeah. But I think it's always older than what people think. Right. So Gen Zers, who are the next ones down, born after 2000,

are the ones that are getting upset by being compared to millennials. Right. Now, this started on TikTok and it's the responses

that I want to read to you. So, all of these people are Gen Zers and I haven't a go at Millennials. Right. But it started from this TikTok. Tired of boomers

bunching Gen Z and Millennials together because I personally don't want to be associated with people who still think that Harry Potter movies are a personality trait. Ouch. And so everyone took it upon themselves to start launching into millennials. This is some of the comments. Millennials be 34 talking about how I'm Hufflepuff.

Grow up and do a line of coke already. They're worried about Harry Potter house so they live in a one-bedroom apartment. You're worried about the wrong house. The way they a one bedroom apartment You're worried about the wrong house The way they say doggo I don't say dog You say dog, you love saying dog I don't say doggo, I say doggy I don't say doggo, that's silly

I think every generation agrees Millennials were a mistake One of the comments The way they care that BuzzFeed knows their favourite wine. All they do is drink wine post cringy 90s kid memes and talk about tech start-ups. Ouch. This is what the boomers want.

They want a civil war amongst the younger generations to take away from the attacks. Yeah, we can't. This is what they want us to do. Right, they want us to fight. Yeah. Right. What are the, what's after Gen Z?

Gen X, Generation X. No, that was before Gen. That's been done. Generation X. That was like my uncle's Gen X. Gen X was 19. X, Y, Z. Gen X was 1965 to 79. Yeah. So what's after Gen Z, did you say?

Yeah, like next one down. Doesn't have one. Because Gen Z is currently aged between 5 to 25. So just infants? Coronials. Coronials, yeah. The ones that were born after coronavirus. The ones that were born after coronavirus. What's after Gen Z?

Oh, okay. Here we go. I just don't feel like the Gen... Generation Alpha. It includes anyone born after 2010. Gen Alpha is still very young, but is on track to be the most transformative age group ever. Don't put that pressure on.

We know your child's precious and wonderful and super advanced. But what I mean is we're not done with the boomer chat. Like, we're not done roasting the boomers. I'm not ready to be roasted by the ones below us. You get to be roasted when there's someone below you. Yeah. Is when you get to start roasting above. Yeah.

But always roast up. Right. Don't roast down. Always roast up. Yeah. Always roast up. Well, that's what Gen Z are doing. to start roasting above. Yeah. But always roast up. Right. Don't roast down. Always roast up. Yeah. Always roast up. Well, that's what Gen Z aren't doing. They're roasting up.

But then when there's bugger all people to roast up is when you start roasting down. Right. Like the boomers were roasting the, what were the ones older than the boomers? They were like the great generation or the silent generation or they were between the wars.

Yeah. Hell, you know, these people went through the Great Depression. But you can't roast them. They're just trying to survive. Well, no, they're not around. Yeah. Yeah, right. They're just the wars. Yeah. Hell, you know, these people went through the Great Depression. What, you can't roast them? They're just trying to survive. Well, no, they're not around. Yeah. Yeah, right.

They're just trying to get by. So then the boomers are like, well, we can't roast them. They can't even walk. Is that how this started? So now we're going to roast down rather than keep roasting them because they totally would have roasted them. Yeah. Back in the, like, 60s, man, where they just, like, didn't understand, man.

Yeah. Like that. Ah, look, that's a lot of intergenerational roasting. Fletchvorna Megan, the podcast. ZM. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there. There is news that, you know, you might remember AIG, the insurance.

Yeah. They used to be, the insurance people. Yeah. They used to be on the All Blacks jersey. So they're not. Yeah. And it's a very expensive spot right in the middle there. It's quite large. Yeah. Is there any other sponsors on their tops?

Because that's the only one I can see. I think Adidas. Yeah, well, Adidas do the jerseys, right? The jerseys. So that's the only other logo. Yeah. Do they have anything on the sleeves lately?

I don't think so. Okay. Well, there's a situation where the All Blacks, the Black Ferns, Sevens, the Maldi All Blacks,

the Under 20 All Blacks could be sold for $300 million. You're so lucky the lid was on there. I only just put the lid on that drink. What it'll do? For $300 million. Now, it could be sold to a single investor or like a massive advertising agency.

So it could be a different product every time. Or a scrolling LED. Imagine that. That'd be pretty sweet until somebody tackled Sam Cain real hard and his LED broke and both electrocuted him and penetrated his chest. Yeah. And there's, like, blood coming out. I'm like, well, no, he's got to come off

because he's not doing the sponsorship deal, and that's worth a lot of money. Also, are they going to be playing enough to be worth that? That's a big question. That's the thing. Who knows? But the big question is if they were to sell it

to a single entity, who could afford it? Yeah. And these are the top six companies that could still afford to sponsor the All Blacks for $300 million. And that's every All Blacks team.

Number six is a joint effort between the two big shopping conglomerates of the world. They would be called the Amazon AliExpress All Blacks. Because what you can't find on Amazon, you can find on AliExpress.

Oh my God, AliExpress is great. That's for sure. Got a couple of parcels coming, but God, it's going to take forever. What have you got coming? What have you got? So I saw online this place was doing these, have you seen their wiggly fish for cats?

Cat toys? Yes. Giant wiggly fish. And I was like, I'm not paying $40 for a giant wiggly fish for cats? Cat toys? Yes! Giant wiggly fish. And I was like, I'm not paying $40 for a giant wiggly fish. Ali Express, $3. That's where they were getting them from. And so the big wiggly fish is coming.

But it's going to take like ages. I had a chat with a friend at the weekend about like the economy and like tourism in New Zealand and how important it's going to be to like stimulate the economy. And like, tourism in New Zealand and how important it's going to be to, like, stimulate the economy. And then he said, oh, I didn't tell you about all my bike accessories I ordered from AliExpress.

And I was like, last breath. Yeah. Last breath. Simulating the economy. We were talking about simulating the economy. He's like, oh, yeah, but no, but this is different. Is it? To be fair, tell me where in New Zealand

you can get a wiggly fish. You just said they have some for $40. No, that was on Facebook advertising. Oh, right. But if there was a place in New Zealand, I would have done it, even if it was $40. Right. But then they were just getting these

from AliExpress too. Yeah. True. So it's not Albin helping the New Zealand manufacturing, but it's the retail. I guarantee I can find you a wiggly fish in New Zealand. You know he didn't look. He went straight to AliExpress

after the targeted advertising on Facebook. It's exactly what my mate did too. He's like, I've got targeted advertising, so I just went straight and searched for it on AliExpress. He's like, cool. Cool. Hey, I'm trying, all right? Number five on the list of the top six companies

that can still afford to sponsor the All Blacks for $300 million is Mr. Monopoly. Not the game, the actual man. Yeah. Who wins it. Yeah, super cashed out. Got the monocle. Gets $200 every time he goes around the block.

Free parking in the middle. Do you do that? Do you do free parking in the middle? We don't do free parking in the middle. It's contentious. We do that, yeah. So you pay your fines and everything to the middle. Do you do that? Do you do free parking in the middle? We don't do free parking in the middle. It's contentious. We do that, yeah. So you pay your fines and everything to the middle, right?

Yeah. Whoever lands on free parking gets all the money, no. What do you do? Pay it to the bank? Yeah, it goes into the bank. It goes into the coffers. You don't pay your rates

to go to the massive pile in the bloody middle of bloody... Oh, because everything about Monopoly's realistic. The domain. I came second in a beauty pageant. Everyone knows

I want to come first. Well. Number four on the list of the top six companies that can still afford to sponsor the All Blacks for $300 million, the Springfield Power Plant. Now, if we can get C. Montgomery Burns to part with that sweet money, we might have more luck at number three.

The top six companies that can still afford to sponsor the All Blacks for $300 million, Wayne Enterprises. Now, it's a thriving business, but somehow they spend a lot of money on research and development for like weapons and cars and stuff, but nothing ever comes of them. And in unrelated news, man, Batman's cool. Number two on the list of the top six companies that can still afford to sponsor the All Blacks for $300 million. Christian Grey.

Yeah. Isn't he really rich? Hot. Is Christian Grey really rich in the stories? Well, he's got a helicopter, doesn't he? Or a jet. What is his company called? I've never seen him in the movie.

Grey's. Well, that's what I was thinking. Grey's All Blacks could be a little bit confusing. Because you can't be All Black if you're a bit grey. Yeah. Then you'd be a bit of both, wouldn't you? Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc. That's right.

Yes, Grey Enterprises. Holdings, Inc. Good sponsor of the All Blacks, but Grey's All Blacks. Yeah. Could you imagine the All Blacks product placement? Oh, wait. Is his company not about dildos? No.

Oh. It's just his private life. Ah. Right. And number one on the list of the top six companies that can still afford to sponsor the All Blacks for $300 million, whatever Scrooge McDuck's company's called.

Yeah. I'm imagining Scrooge McDuck's putting that all through a company for the tax purposes. Or is he a cash man? Is he dodging the IRD? That's why he had that big cash vault. Yeah. That wasn't exactly subtle, was it? No. The tax man's looking for the guy dodging

tax and getting paid cash. Try the old Scottish duck with the money tank on top of the hill. That could be a good place to start. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Blackout Boomerang. This is why. Fat. This is why. Fat., the podcast. Blackout Woman. This is why. Fat.

This is why. Fat. This is why. This is why. This is why. Fat. Well, they've already caused it. Now they're just doubling down on it.

But Ben and Jerry's have a new treat. It is the ice cream burger. It looks like a burger. The impossible to eat burger. I don't know why they've called it that. Is it because you couldn't bite through it like you could an ordinary burger because it would give you the teeth freeze and the brain freeze? Maybe.

Yeah. But it's a sweet brioche bun. Biscoff spread. Biscoff spread. Biscoff spread. Is it like thin, wafery? Are you talking about the stuff in the middle? No, it's like biscoff spread. Biscoff spread. Is that like thin, wafery? Are you talking about the stuff in the middle? No, it's like...

Biscoff spread. Do you... It's like a crunchy spread. Is it like Biscoff? Biscoff thing. Biscoff crunchy spread. Oh, Biscoff spread. It is an original, delicious, caramelised, speckle-o's biscuit spread.

So it's... It's like a biscuity... it's like a biscuity spread. It's like a biscuity bread. Yum. It looks like peanut butter, but I'm gathering it's got no peanuts in it because they say it's got peanuts in it. Yeah, right. Cookie butter.

Yeah. Oh, my God. Who knew that existed? Well, you do now, and there's no going back. And then there's Ben and Jerry's ice cream, chocolate or caramel sauce, and wafers in there to look like the lettuce and tomato. So it's on a sweet brioche bun. I can't remember if I said that

because that was probably like 500 calories ago that I said that. How much does this cost? Is there a price there? I can't see a price. They keep referring to scoop stores. Does that mean like where they can actually scoop the ice cream rather than where,

because you can just buy Ben and Jerry's at like the supermarket. Yeah, they to scoop stores. Does that mean like where they can actually scoop the ice cream rather than – because you can just buy Ben and Jerry's at like the supermarket. Yeah, they mean – So they're saying this isn't available at the supermarket. Yeah, because you have to have the ice cream scooped on. Yeah, so they kind of make it there, I guess. They piece it together from all the bits they've got. But no word as to the cost because it's been released. I've talked about it on their socials

but I cannot see a price nor a calorie index. No one's looking at the calorie index. You want to look at the calorie index just to see like how crazy it is. Don't look at it and feel like, well, what if I can get this on my fitness panel?

That's just going to ruin everything you've done. But what I'm saying is if you want to know exactly how many calories you are just going to munch up like it's no thing, then you kind of want to know. Nah. Ignorance is bliss. I like to live in ignorant bliss, yeah. Right, yeah. I'm not really a brioche bun guy.

What? Not even with burgers. Nah, brioche buns are the best, I reckon. Nah, they're a bit dry. You know they're not. They're soft. No, they're... buns are the best, I reckon. Nah, they're a bit dry. You know they're not, they're soft. They're soft. You're getting them

confused with a bap. No, I'm not getting them confused with a bap. You're thinking about a bap. Please don't make me, please don't. A brioche bun is not dry.

I don't know what I'm talking about with bread. No, the brioche bun can go dry very quickly. No. Where are you having, no.

I don't want a sweet bun. It's not always sweet. This one looks particularly sweet, but this one doesn't look like... I would rather have the ingredients laid out on a plate in this situation. You'd just rather have a bowl of ice cream. Okay, well, this isn't for you then. It's for the rest of us. More for us.

And I'm not a huge fan of the wafer-y things. They remind me of those pink wafer biscuits with the cream in the middle. Ice cream sandwiches. That's how you made them. I don't of those pink wafer biscuits with the cream in the middle. Ice cream sandwiches. That's how you made them. I don't like those pink wafers. Oh, my God. Okay. It was always the last biscuit left in the family sample that we got for Christmas,

but we always took on summer holiday. You give me crap for being fussy. Try and I give you a nice. No, but I just want the chocolate. Your father and I have worked so hard to bring you this lovely dessert. I'll eat the cameo cream. Yuck. Out of the cameo cream. Yuck. Out of the sampler box. All right.

Well, the dessert burger at Ben & Jerry's, another reason why. This is why. This is why. This is why. This is why. This is why. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

ZM. The Finnish, the, what is it called? Finland. The people of Finnishville. Finnishville, yeah. Finland has been ranked the happiest country in the world for the third year running. They always, it's always one of those Scandinavian joints, isn't it? Yeah.

So they know the secret to happiness and because everyone around the world is suffering a wee bit at the moment, we've got a list of things that is a great way to live the Finnish way. So you're saying the first 30 minutes of the day are very important. I think about the first 30 minutes of my day, waking up, get ready for work, trudge to work, although I did do a sweet skid on the e-scooter this morning. That was pretty cool. That's good stuff. And then I'm here at work.

That's the first 30 minutes of my day. Mine's just doing my makeup and getting ready for work. It's not that thrilling. Does it count how many times you hit snooze? Does it count towards any minutes? The first nine minutes is sweet. The second nine minutes is pretty sweet. And then the third one's a little bit panicky.

Well, they say to start your day properly. I was going to say we can't do this, but we could, but it would be pretty dreary at 4 a.m. Drink a glass of hot water and go for a short walk or at the very least go outside. Don't get the glass of warm water. Hot water. People will say it, I'm just...

Lemon water. What, a coffee? No, I just have a hot water. My mum religiously drinks hot water, like coffees, and it tastes terrible, but she just always has. Really? Yeah. She doesn't put any lemon in or any flavour?

No, nothing. Weird. Sometimes if the people put the lemon in, it annoys me even more. Yeah. It's just... Now it tastes like lemon pledge, like someone didn't rinse the glass out properly and now I'm drinking the bubbly dishwashing liquid.

Yeah. But I get that doing the exercise thing, that I guess would wake you up. Well, it's not exercise, it's just a short walk. Right. Just getting outside. They very much believe in being in touch with nature.

Right. So they say that's the best way to start your day properly. Now you need to write down a short gratitude list each day. Focus on things. People swear by this. You rolled your eyes, but people swear by this. I just don't like doing homework.

I would just see that as homework. Writing a list of things that make you feel good rather than focusing on what's wrong, which is what we do every day. You stress about things that are wrong or things that are going to happen. Write a gratitude list. What would you have on your list? Like, I'm grateful for squiggle top biscuits.

That's the thing. It would be easy on the first couple of days and then you'd have to start thinking of really like in the moment stuff like, I'm stoked I don't have to stop for petrol today. Oh, that's a good one. How much does stopping for petrol suck? Yeah. It just always seems inconvenient

even when you've got time. Yeah. Are you allowed to repeat though? Yeah. Like your gratitude list? You're not allowed to repeat too often. This is the rules when we're sitting at the dinner table and we say what our favourite part of the day was.

You just can't say the same thing every day. Right. Okay. Everyone's healthy and alive. Yeah. Yeah. And then someone's like, damn it, I wasn't going to say that. Breathing.

Now, this one sounds silly, but if you spend some time focusing on breathing slowly and emptying your mind, it's as good an exercise if you want to achieve the Finnish notion of, I would say roha, but I think that's Maori pronunciation for a word that's probably not Maori.

It means serenity and peace. Right, okay. There's heaps of Māoris in Finland. That's where they're from. Of course it's not a Māori word if it's Finnish. So like deep breathing and stuff. Because I've read in books

that we don't use like our lung capacity when we're stressing and stuff. We do very short, shallow breaths. Right. Does your watch ever say have a breath? All the time.

And I'm like, shut up watch. I am breathing. Otherwise I'd be watch ever say, have a breath? All the time. Yeah. And I'm like, shut up watch, I am breathing, otherwise I'd be dead. No, but it's talking about concentrated, slow breathing to relax you.

Make a conscious effort. What did your watch say? You should do it when you walk. Oh no, because they ask you not to walk. They want you to be

sitting still while you're doing it. Right. Yeah. Make a conscious effort not to worry. When you feel something weighing you down,

just forget about it. We are made for more than worrying is a Finnish saying. Right. So if you can't control it, if it's not something you can actually change, just forget about it. Focus on small things that bring you joy, whether it's, they said, patting the cat or making your favourite meal, eating your favourite meal. Focus on the small pleasures in life. Connect with nature. Take a moment to stop and smell the

roses and look at trees. Just like, meh. You don't do any of that. You go for a bike ride, that's connecting with nature because you get in the fresh air and you go along the waterway and you see the water. And the nature. Nature walks and stuff.

You spend a lot of time skulking around those parks at night. I don't know if that's to appreciate the trees or if you're looking for something more. I don't know, but you spend a lot of time in dark parts. He loves the moon glistening off the leaves at night time. That's what it is. That's what it is. Yeah. This is defamation.

I'll be suing you. And make something simple, like a small creative outlet, whether it's like knitting or even making a salad or a cake. Yeah. You like baking? Wait, this still isn't at all in the first 30 minutes of the day, is it? No, no, no. The first 30 minutes was the first one.

Oh, okay. These 30 minutes have just started seeming very stressful. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Producer Jared has hit us with a situation. Well, you may have, I don't know if you guys watch the videos that get put together here, but in the background, you may have noticed he's got intensely swole in the last couple of weeks.

So swole. So swole because you've been going to the gym. Gains, brah. Gains, brah. Have you been also increasing your intake in grams of protein? Mega. Huge. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Are you doing protein shakes and LeSnacks still? Yep. Yep. Gotta get your leg closed. Okay, well that's your carbs, isn't it? Your morning LeSnack. Your carbs and your calcium. He keeps his well, that's your carbs, isn't it? Your morning snack. Your carbs and your calcium. He keeps his snacks in his safe.

His breakfast. Yeah. Now, this was something that happened to you at the gym yesterday. Yeah, so I was... Was this pre-haircut or post-haircut? Because tell Jared what you think about his haircut. I thought it was very cute. Oh, thank you.

I told you he wouldn't take it as an insult. They were like, you can't say that to a grown man. I was like, sometimes it's nice to be called cute. Yeah, I liked it. In a non-sexually threatening manner. Yeah. Okay. That was not sexually threatening.

That's what I'm saying. Okay, so what happened at the gym? Yeah, so post haircut. Oh, post haircut. Oh, so you had a new haircut at the gym. Yep, I was looking fresh. Okay. Yep.

So I was there doing the lifts with the weights, looking big. What are you benching, bruh? Oh, I don't want to talk about it. Was it benching? No, it was just the bicep curls. Oh, bicep curls. Okay. Good way to start.

And I like glanced to my right. You started with bicep curls? Oh, after my warm-up. Oh, right. It was my first proper. I didn't think you started with bicep, didn't you? Why don't you start with bicep? What's wrong with starting with bicep?

What do you start with? Cross trainer. Don't most people do, after a warm-up, don't they do bench press first? It's bench press first. Why do you do bench press first? I don't know. You've got that pile of men's health magazines. So you tell us.

For the exercises. I know. I didn't imply anything else. Lead us, sensei. Tell us what we should be doing first. I don't imply anything else. Lead us, sensei. Tell us what we should be doing first. I don't know. Why do you start with bench press? Because it's hardest.

I don't know. You do the hardest first. I would have thought you built up to the hardest because if you do the hardest first, you blow it and you don't have the energy for the rest. No, I'm not a... What do you do with all those magazines then? I'm not a PT.

I don't know. Okay. So the recipes in there. Yes. Yeah. Kale salad recipes. Sorry. Back to Jared. So I was doing a PT. I don't know. So the recipes in there. Yes. Yeah. Kale salad recipes. Sorry. Back to Jared.

So I was doing my curls. Yeah. And I glanced to my right and there was a girl looking at me. Oh, okay. Oh. Yeah. So I was. What kind of looking?

You better say what kind of girl. Oh, no. No. It was like a sideways glance. And then she noticed I saw and she like quickly looked away and I was like, oh. Oh. G'day. Oh, okay. Oh, you caught her eye. G'day.

G'day, mate. It's probably that cute haircut. Must have been, yeah. Yeah, okay. She might have thought you were, she might have been like, why is he not at school? Come on. Shouldn't he be at school?

You've undone the cute compliment. Oh, are you sorry? Yeah, I'm not going to play Fortnite with you later. Okay, then, so what happened after this look? What happened after this look? I brushed it off, standard, and carried on lifting weights. And then I noticed her looking at me through the mirror. Like, you know how you can, like, look at an angle

and see someone on the other side? She was doing it again. Are you sure she wasn't looking at herself in the mirror? Nah, it's pretty obvious when they're shooting a glance at an angle that reflects to your angle. Yeah, right. So that time when you looked, did she look away or did she smile? There was like a linger and then she looked away.

Oh, so a longer linger. Yeah. Were you lifting weights in a weird way? I don't know. I hope not. Did you have headphones on when you were making noises? Like when you were like, uh, uh, uh. No, I definitely wasn't doing that.

I wasn't doing that. Okay, well, we can eliminate that then. You weren't squeaking out a fart every time you did like a little bit of a, a little bit of a, yeah. I don't think so. Okay, yeah, you want to check that. Couldn't smell anything. And was that it?

Did she look again? She looked one more time. Okay. And this is like, was I working out wrong? Did she want to start a fight? Was she wanting my money? It's one of those options. That's of course the

only option. So you just saw her, you didn't like smile or? No, I was red, I was sweating, like I was in no mood to smile. Right. I'm going to give her like a cheeky side smile and see what the reaction was. She did a few walk-bys and stuff She was getting a good look

She was circling like a shark Or she was just doing her workout and this is all in your head It could be, so that's what I want to know Am I nuts? Let's get the gym footage Pretty sure gyms just hand out video footage willy nilly

Absolutely, yeah. Just as some creepy dude who doesn't even belong to the gym, I'll walk in and be like, how's it? Can I get some gym footage? Well, you need to go at exactly the same time and see if you can like...

I think I will. I'll go back today. I might wear the same thing. Do you think you should make a move? Don't wear the same thing. Don't wear the same thing. It's not sexy at the gym. Do you think you should make a move then?

What do you think he should do, Megan? He should definitely smile at her and see if she smiles back or if she looks away really quickly and then she was looking at something. Okay, but if she smiles back, should he make a move? Yeah. He should go over and talk to her. What's your move going to be? What's your move going to be?

Well, probably just hit her with a g'day. Don't hit her. Oh. Yeah, right. How's it? How's it going? Ask her if she hit her with a g'day. Don't hit her. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah, right. How's it? Ask her if she wants to go out for a snack. Ooh, yep.

Can you spot me? Hope you're not lactose intolerant, babe. I don't think that's cheese, Jared. I don't think that's cheese. That's a lot of cheese. Would you like to join me

for a moussachi bar? Perhaps I've got a spare choc-mint in the glove box. 20 grams of protein and only 200 calories. Okay, well, if she's there at the gym today, let us know in the group chat.

All right. And we can give some advice and we'll give an update tomorrow. Cool. Do you get sore at the gym, though? When I'm on that stair thing, I get a sore. Yes, we know you go to the gym, Vaughn.

No, but you get sore and you look one way like to stretch out your neck and then you like look and someone on like the cross trainer thinks you're looking at them. So they look and then you pull back and then you've got to stretch the other way just to make sure that they know that you're stretching. And then you're like, oh, and then you've got to really theatrically play out the stretch.

Nah, you just really look like you're having a poo. I know. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM, what would Ray Ray say? We're joined on the phone by Megan's mother, Raywin. Ray Ray, affectionately known. For a little segment of the show we called What Would Ray Ray Say?

Where we seek advice. She's the clam herself, producing the pearls of wisdom. Oh, I thought you meant producing me. I'm the pearl. She's the clam that produced me. Oh, I thought you meant producing me. I'm the pearl. She's the clam that produced me. Oh, Megan, you've got it all wrong. Yeah, she does. Could be a pearl.

All wrong. Good morning, Ray Ray. Good morning to you. Right. What's up? Well, we've got a little bit of advice needed from listeners. Okay. Oh, goodness me.

Question number one, Mum. How can I tell my best friend that I like him? Crikey. Well, you could try flirting with him to see how he reacts. You could put your hand on his arm or... Is that how you flirt?

Well, you've got to break it in gently, don't you? Put your arm around his shoulder. Exactly, exactly. You are giving an entry point of touching. You don't go straight in for a grope, do you? No, you don't just sort of grab the gonads or anything like that. He's in his old age, no.

You've got to do it well. You're talking to an old chook. I mean, I don't know what you young fellas do, but you've got to break it in gentle. I don't know if I really want to know this, but who flirted with who when you and Dad met? Oh, he flirted with me because I was rich. Oh, did he? Yeah.

Wow. I played hard to get. I thought, oh, I'm not interested in you. Naff off. Right. So do you just like just an arm on the shoulder and just hello? Put your arm on his hand or around his shoulder

and if he's not keen and he's uncomfortable, we'll go to the gym. It's a good gauge. You're right. If they pull away, then he's not keen. You've got to break it in gently.

I mean, he might be thinking, he might have, you know, someone else lined up and you never know. You've just got to break it in gently. I mean, he might be thinking he might have, you know, someone else lined up and you never know. You've just got to take it cool. Okay. If it's red and itchy, should I go see a doctor?

Oh, ouch. Well, if it's red and itchy, you should really go and see a doctor or the chemist, because there's some of these chemists are... Oh, yeah, right. Because there's so many different rashes. I mean, you've got eczema, dermatitis, say, or hives, shingles. Yep. Or you could even...

Fletch, now, this is something you'll have to think about. You could get ringworm. Ringworm? What, from my cats? From cats. Really? Yeah. Oh, okay. And do you get a rash? Yeah, you get a nasty little

itchy rash. It sort of comes up like a circle. That's why it's called ringworm, because it looks like a ring on your skin. And then you scratch it, and then when you come to pick your nose or scratch your bum, you're in deep trouble. Okay, so you'd say yes, get that rash seen to ASAP? Well, I think so, because you'd say yes, get that rash seen to ASAP?

Well, I think so because you could have it there, whatever it is. I mean, if it's in one of your important little places, you just never know what it's going to do. And as soon as you get it looked at, I mean, you can't walk down the road scratching your bum or whatever, can you? True. Well, blokes do. It always made me that blokes do.

Yeah, well, you've got to do an adjustment, Ray, Ray, because it's more of an adjustment. It's more of an adjustment. It gets in the way, doesn't it? How long do you need to be adjusting it for? Yeah. There's a limit to adjustment and playful. There's a line that gets crossed. Yeah, you've got to be careful you don't cross that line.

Okay. And last question. My mother-in-law lives around the road and always just pops around. How can we tell her to go away? Goodness me. This is trying. Just keeping in mind that you're a mother-in-law as well. I know where that's going.

Well, you see, you've got to be careful because she could be trying to control the relationship. What you could do is you could move to Westport. Move far away. Move to Westport. Yeah, if you lived in the same city as Megan, would you

pop around to see Mr. Toyboy unannounced? Probably. I think it's different. Yeah, no, it's, I don't know. They have a pretty good relationship. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's very difficult because you kind of think to yourself,

yeah, what she, I mean, there's mother-in-laws, mother-in-laws and mother-in-laws. Yeah. They're different types. There's three degrees of mother-in-laws. Yeah. And mum, of course, is a very good mother-in-law She was the first mother-in-law

Yeah Yeah I'm on the top of the list Yeah Yeah You've got to be very careful Okay Yeah

Yeah if it's a habit Well you've got to Get it sorted Yeah Great advice Thank you so much mum Okay then Alright

Nice talking to you. See you. See you now. Bye. Keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier. As at Herald's new podcast, the front page is your short, sharp daily news podcast. Join me, Damien Venuto, every weekday morning

as I chat with journalists and newsmakers going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest news stories of the day. We'll see you next week. and Megan, the podcast. Okay, we've received an email. This is from a Harry Potter fan who's in Pickle. It says, hi, guys. I have a dilemma that I need your opinion on. I am a gay man and I have a Harry Potter Deathly Hallows tattoo. Oh, yeah. Okay, so that's the triangle with the circle and the line. Oh, yep.

Okay. I used to be a huge fan, but now I feel icky about it given J.K. Rowling's recent comments. Should I get it removed because I disagree with her and I want to be an ally for the community that she is tearing down? So JK Rowling had a big open letter recently on her opinion on the trans community.

And you had all the stars of Harry Potter coming out saying the opposite, didn't you? So I've got Daniel Radcliffe's statement because at the end of it, he addresses Harry Potter fans in this feeling. And he said, I really hope you don't entirely lose what was valuable in these stories to you. If these books taught you that love is the strongest force in the universe, capable of overcoming anything, if they taught you that strength is found in diversity

and that dogmatic ideas of pureness lead to the oppression of vulnerable groups, then you should hold that sacred. It is sacred. And in my opinion, nobody can touch that. It means to you what it means to you, and I hope that these comments will not taint that too much. But at the same time, JK Rowling created and wrote that. All of that.

Yeah. So it would be hard, wouldn't it? What do you do? I don't know what you do. Yeah, something you love so much, the creator of that has been found to be not a particularly pleasant person. Well, I guess Michael Jackson fans would have had this exact dilemma.

Although I don't know, many people would have had Michael Jackson fans would have had this exact dilemma. Although I don't know, many people would have had Michael Jackson tattoos, maybe. No, but even listening to his music, I find hard now. Yeah. To be honest. I'm always reminded every time you hear a Michael Jackson song, it's always in the back of my head. Like, oh, yeah, okay.

So then to have a tattoo that you're constantly seeing. The person that created that doesn't. Align with your views. Yeah. Okay. So what do you do? Do you tattoo over it? Do you laser it off? Or do you just remember the good?

Tattoo over it. You reckon? Yeah. Now that you've compared it to the michael jackson thing like i can't get past that me personally i can't and so every time i hear it you're just reminded of that if every time he looks at it he's reminded of that then he needs to take yeah if that's if that's your yeah if that's your personal takeaway from it i mean what, what she said was a bit, you know, daft to be put in very nicely. Yeah.

And, you know. But every time you look at it, you're reminded of that rather than what the series meant to you, then that tattoo's changed meanings. Yeah. I'd imagine it would be like, oh, no, that would be different. I mean, at the moment in Kentucky, in the United States, there's a tattoo parlor that is covering up hate-related tattoos of any sort.

No judgment. If that's not what you believe anymore, they will change it. I'm talking swastikas. I'm talking, like, hate symbols. Wow, okay. They're saying if you come in and that is not your opinion anymore and you've changed to be a better person, we will cover it up for free.

And we will not judge you when you're in here for doing it because if you're getting it covered up, that's what it is. You've changed and you're not that person you once were. Is that going to extend to Harry Potter tattoos now? Wow. Yeah. I don't know.

Well, it kind of does represent Some kind of hate Doesn't it? In a way Well to them yeah Oh JK Rowling But yeah if you're looking at it Get it tattooed over there Yeah

Yeah This is why I've only tattooed my ass So I really have to If I want to see it I really have to put in some effort And what did you get tattooed on? Oh a lot of things Yeah

A lot of things It's kind of something from every So many names We are the three Do you know how rare it? Oh, a lot of things. Yeah. A lot of things. It's kind of something from every... So many names. We are the three. Do you know how rare it is that none of us have tattoos? Yeah. Like, isn't that crazy? I'll get one one day, maybe.

No, you won't. The weirdest part, no tattoos, all got genital piercings. That's... Yeah. That's weird, right? Big fans. Huge fans of genital piercings. The bigger, the better. The bigger, the better. I've got the Prince Albert. I've got genital piercings. The bigger the better.

The bigger the better. I've got the Prince Albert. I've got the Prince of Monaco. I've got the penis formerly known as Prince. I've got all the Princey holes down there. Never get an owl in behind our line at the airport. We all set off the scanners. And don't get beside me in a urinal.

I'm like a sprinkler out there. What time did this come through yesterday? It was just after work. I'm in a urinal. I'm like a sprinkler out there. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. What time did this come through yesterday? It was just after work. Was it just pre-lunched message to the group? Yeah. Oh, here it is. I've just found it.

11.21, Monday, the 15th of June, 2020. We have very early breakfast. So you have an early... You don't need to make any excuse for eating at 11. It just sounded like you were shaming. You don't know these people or anything. It's not drinking at 11, Megan. You're allowed to eat at 11. Which also doesn't need explaining.

Okay. 11 is our five Zs. So this message came through and we were all quite shocked. From Executive Intern Anya. Guys, this is a big day. I just made my first sandwich for myself. And then picture of sandwich, which looks like some salami and some cheese. What else was on that sandwich?

Pesto and aioli. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah. Okay, let's rewind. This is the first time. Now, for those that don't know, maybe those that are new to the show or missed it, you are quite a notorious fussy eater.

You were brought up on... Carrots and chicken nuggets. Yes. Yeah, I think your parents just gave up, didn't they? Because you were too fussy. Yeah. So every night it was chicken nuggets and carrots. Yeah.

She's only just recently tried porridge. You know, like sloppy foods. And what else had you just tried recently for the first time? Mushrooms. Mayonnaise. I don't think I knew about mayonnaise. When did you first try mayo? I was like 18, I think.

Mayo? When did you first try mayo? I was like 18, I think. Mayo? When did you have sushi? I was on board with sushi, but only ever chicken teriyaki. Right, that's what it was. Anything else? That's crazy. Tuna, do you eat tuna? Nah, I don't think I've ever had tuna.

Tuna? Do you say tuna? I say tuna. I say tuna. It's not T-H-U-E-N-A. Yeah. Yeah, nah. Right. Okay, but why had you never made a sandwich before?

Like Vaughn said, his kids make sandwiches. Not even just Marmite or like just peanut butter or... No. You've never put a or many ingredient between bread and then eaten? For yourself. No. Had you made toast before? Yeah. The old time. Not frequently. ingredient between bread and then eat. For yourself, no. Had you made toast before? Yeah.

The old time. Not frequently. You made a half a hot sandwich. But you just never put more bread on top to hold it all in there. Yeah, the concept of having it all together just always felt a bit overwhelming. Now you've had a sandwich. You've had a sandwich before. Oh, yes.

Big fan of a hot sandwich out but that's only in the last I reckon five years What do you mean a hot sandwich out? You mean like a chicken sandwich. Like a panini place. Panini or a toasty or like that's probably. Yeah right. But only if it was at a store or a cafe. Yep. Whereas normally

I'll just have like a piece of toast or like some bread then maybe a cheese maybe some, and then some salami separately. You'd never, what? You'd eat a deconstructed sandwich? Yes. Yes. Yes. Had you ever made yourself a toasted sandwich?

No. Had you ever made yourself like a panini? No. So you've just never put anything between bread? No. This is why it was a big day. And it's so time efficient, guys. Were your parents there? Yesterday. For you. No, this is why it was a big day. And it's so time efficient, guys. Were your parents there?

Yesterday? For you. No, for you. Just in life. Did they never come home for dinner? They did try. And I was just like,

no, there's too much happening there. Get it away. What was in your lunchbox at school? Chicken nuggets and... Cold chicken nuggets from the night before

and the half-nibbled carrot sticks. No, I'd do a bread roll. Just a plain bread roll? Plain bread roll. And maybe like some chippies and like an apple. So she's pretty carb heavy. Okay, so you made your first sandwich yesterday. How old... Just tell

people how old you are. I'm 23. And I think I might do another one today. I don't know. We'll see how we're feeling. That's a slippery slope. You know you can change up what you put inside. What? I know, madness. Okay, on the back of this,

I want to ask, does anyone else have a pathetic first? Maybe you're really into your adult years like Anya and you're just trying out something for the first time

that people have been doing for years. Like being 23 and making your first ever sandwich. Or maybe just being I don't know in your 20s

or in your adult life and trying something for the first time. I met a 30 year old maybe this isn't like as weird as I found it at the time, but it was a 30-year-old dude and he'd never mowed the lawns. It was a foreign concept.

Remember, I only mowed the lawns when I moved into my house now. My mum taught me how to use the lawnmower. But you never did it after school or something? No. Because it was a scary thing. It had blades and a motor and like he had to do multiple things.

You couldn't just go power on, you know? Yeah, pull setup, push it forward, prime the thing. Right, okay. All right, well, 0800DARLS at M. We'll take some calls. You can text in as well, 9696. Do you have a pathetic first?

Maybe we shouldn't call it a pathetic first. It sounds bad, doesn't it? Yeah, but I don't have another word. Your useless excuse for being an adult first. See, that makes it sound pathetic doesn't sound too bad now, does it? No, it doesn't.

Well, Executive Intern Anya made a sandwich for the first time at the age of 23 yesterday. I know. You couldn't even make this stuff up. So we want to know from you if you also have a pathetic first late in life. Maybe it's taken you a while to try something or do something. Somebody said, oh my God, I'm 25. I've never made a sandwich.

But like, how do you not even make a sandwich as a kid? I don't know. That's what I don't understand. Like who was making lunch? Yeah, you just clean up a sandwich or something when you got home't know. That's what I don't understand. Like who was making lunch? Yeah, you just went up on a sandwich or something when you got home from school. Yeah. Yeah, you must have been hungry at some stage for bread when your parents weren't around.

Unless you just, like Anya, you just did toast every time or a deconstructed sandwich. Yeah. Ugh. This is really cute. For my 25th on the weekend, we went out for dinner and for the first time ever, I had an entree. Oh.

A main and a dessert. Well, that was a lot of food. That's treating yourself, right? So we want to know your pathetic firsts. Maybe it's taken you a little bit longer in life to finally do something or try something, like Executive Intern Anya, who's 23, and yesterday made her first sandwich.

This text message, I'm 28, and I've only just tried a salad. Is that like a specific? They would have had the ingredients, the salad, before, I assume, but not like sat down and ordered a salad. No, just a lettuce, tomato. Yeah. God, we had salad in the summer months growing up. Every single night there was a salad.

Yeah. Just lettuce, tomato and cucumber. Yeah Every single night there was a salad. Yeah. Just lettuce, tomato and cucumber. Yeah. Put a grated carrot on top. Yeah. Maybe a bit of cheese if it was your life. Mum had just been to the shop. Maddie, what did you try later in life?

I've only just started doing my own washing. Oh, wow. So how old were you when you did your first load of washing? 18. To be fair, Mum didn't like us touching the washing machine. Yeah. So I didn't really. She taught me how to do it before I left home.

She's like, put it in here and then push that. You're done. I was like, run me through this again. But she didn't like us playing with the washing machine, so I didn't do a lot of washing. She didn't say put a load of washing on and hang it out. No, hang it out, yes, but you weren't to put all all those settings on the gentle Annie.

How was your experience for the first time, Maddie? Oh, it was great. Yeah. But I still don't divide all my whites. See you later. I don't want to talk to her. I don't want to talk anymore to her. No, she's gone.

When your whites start going grey, you'll start dividing. Okay. And separate wash for the towels and the fluffy stuff. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I didn't really do that. You don't want fluffy bits on the T-shirt, Maddie. Good, good.

Maddie, thanks for your call. Jaden, what's your pathetic first? I cooked an egg for the first time in 22 years over lockdown. Yeah. How did you cook it? Just in a pan. Like fried? It was a fried egg. Oh, yeah, fried egg, yes. Okay, and did you cook it? Just in a pan. Like fried? It was a fried egg.

Oh, yes, fried egg, yes. Wow, poaching's really going to blow your mind. And was it at the time where you just like, okay, I can do this, Jaden, I can do this? Well, pretty much. Dad's just like, you're a horrible cook, so just try cook something. And I'm like, oh, I'll try to cook an egg,

and it was perfect, so I was pretty confident. Did you just do one, or did you do two? No, I've tried cooking an egg and it was perfect. So I was pretty, I was pretty good. Did you just do one or did you do two? No, I was not confident enough to do two. I thought, oh,

I'll just do the one and see how it goes. If it's a waste, you've only wasted one egg but otherwise you could have wasted two eggs. You didn't crack the, you didn't crack the yolk?

Uh, yes, and no shell. Oh, good. Okay, well that sounds like a pass. Jaden,

thanks you, Cole. Evan, this is your twin brother that's got a pathetic first. Uh, good. Okay, well, that sounds like a pass. Jaden, thanks, you're cool. Evan, this is your twin brother that's got a pathetic first. Yeah, my twin brother, he's an

accountant for a coffee company and has been for a while. He's a real coffee snob since he moved to Auckland. Yeah. And gets lots and

lots of free coffee and that sort of stuff. And he came down to Palmerston North to visit me. Yeah. And I was like, oh, you want a coffee?

So I made him one, came in, sips it, and goes, you know, this is the first time I've ever tried instant coffee. It's, you know, I don't get why people drink it. And I was like, oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry we can't all be Mr. Fantastic. The coffee king of Auckland. Shard for drinking instant coffee. How was that the first time?

How old was he when he tried instant coffee for the first time? We're 28. Wow. He's just always had proper espresso sort of... Yeah, he didn't even like coffee before he started working for the company, so he'd never tried that before. That's crazy. Evan, thanks for your call.

It is yuck. Chloe, your mum still hasn't done one thing. Yeah, so she's 57 and she has never filled her own car with petrol. Is that a mom thing? Because my mum hates doing it too. She'll go to those places between nine to five that will help you

and then she'll wave at the attendant or she'll get dad to do it. Yeah, well, dad does it every time. She comes home and says, I need petrol and off he goes and fills her up. So he does a special trip. It's not like, hey, I'll take your car tomorrow and at some stage if you could fill my car up,

your dad will be like, total off to do a special trip. Yeah. He's a better man than me. I hate filling up Sade's car with petrol. What is it that she doesn't like about it? I don't know.

She's never done it. So I don't know. She just freaks out about, I don't know. I don't know if she doesn't know what to do. Oh, that's crazy. It still hasn't.

Wow. Chloe, thanks you call. I think my nana used to just sit in her car and write them a check for how much petrol it was. Just slip it out the window. Be like, pop that in the till. They know me in there. So we're talking about your pathetic adult first. Someone said, I'm 29 and this weekend just gone.

I used the drive-thru for the first time. I've just never had a working driver's side window. I've now slightly upgraded my car. Pretty overrated experience on a whole. I prefer going in. I prefer going in too, especially when you're driving somewhere. It's really hard to eat a quarter pounder

and be driving. Yeah. Yeah. You like to dine in. I like to dine in. When you're the driver, everybody wants to go through the drive-thru, but you know, you don't get then to enjoy it.

I'm 43 and I've never tried coffee too or sushi. I was in my late 30s when I discovered the deliciousness of garlic bread or pizza. Imagine the wasted years of your life. Yeah. Or your 20s. You're in your prime years. When your palate is most primed to enjoy both garlic bread and pizza in your 20s and they miss it entirely.

Miss it entirely. Somebody said, I'm 33 and I've never mowed the lawn. Don't have any plans to in the near future. Someone said, I only just tried spaghetti bolognese. Even though we grew up on it as a family, I just have the plain spaghetti with butter mixed in. Yuck. Wow, can you get more basic than that?

My husband was 25 the first time he washed a car. He just poured the whole container of concentrated soap liquid all over the dry car and then tried rubbing it. And he's like, I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Oh, my God. That was the first time he washed a car. Has he never seen anyone wash it either? Well, he's probably just seen the sexy bikini car wash, isn't he?

You're not really concentrating on the suds to water ratio. There's no real how-to in those bikini videos. When I was 22, my mum asked me to make some mashed potatoes to help with dinner. I'd never made them, but I knew that potatoes went in the pot. So into the potatoes, into the pot, and then I put some water in the pot with the raw potatoes and then sit on them with the masher. Not trying to cook them. Raw? I spent 20 minutes pot with the raw potatoes and then sit on them with the masher. Not trying to cook them.

I spent 20 minutes trying to mash raw potatoes until mum was like, what the are you doing? She must be like, that's on me. Yeah, mums have got to admit that they made a mistake there. They haven't informed them well enough. And I completely ruined her masher. As you would. Yeah. Trying to would. Yeah.

Trying to mash raw potatoes. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Want to talk long distance relationships? Nearly 60% in this study see that long distance relationships wound up a success for them. Right. So they have looked into the keys. Now, if you can make it past four months,

four months is the hard, this isn't me, this is what the study's saying, four months is the hard patch. So I guess after four months, you're like, is this worth it? Are we really into each other? If you get over that patch, you're going to be okay. And if you make it to eight months,

it becomes a piece of cake. So how long, but is this if you, because in your situation with Mr. Toyboy, he went overseas, but you'd already been going out for a while. Yeah. So is this? This is for people who have started long distance,

so they never lived in the same place, and for people who, for both. Right, okay. I was going to cough, but then you talked to me, and then I was like, ah. So it's for both. But yeah, if you can make to cough but then you talked to me and then I was like, ah. So it's for both.

But yeah, if you can make it past eight months then it becomes easy. Now, the key to success, a cell phone is a massive thing. The people they research

on average sent 343 texts per week to each other. Okay. Or 49 a day. They spent eight hours a week talking to each other on the phone or on video chat. Eight hours.

There's seven days in a week. Yeah, we would have done more than that, to be honest. Yeah. Over an hour a day. Yeah. And then sometimes we watched movies or something near longer than an hour. Right, right. Yeah.

God, my internet couldn't handle that. Broadband. Sorry, Sade Yeah. Oh, my internet couldn't handle that. Rururur, broadband. Sorry, Sade, it's over. The internet's down. I'm watching this in, what is the lowest one? 240. Yeah, okay. Come on, hang up.

I'll call you back at the end. We'll discuss what happened. Take notes. That's good news for a world that's pretty much been in lockdown and still kind of in lockdown. That's true. But everyone agreed that the part that was the most challenging was the physical touch and specifically the adult fun times was the hardest thing.

Right. Missing out on them. Yeah. Right. But then you've got... Go on. The Satisfyer Pro 2. I was going to say you've got video chat.

You're all right. No, that's not the touch though, is it? No, that's the video. Yeah. And as I said, the rural broadband would be very pixelated. Hard to get in. I'll say it. Freeze on a really bad moment.

No, I've dropped the phone. Shut your eyes. Don't look now. God, you don't want to see that thing pixelated? Yeah. We asked on our Instagram, FEMZM, if you've had a successful long distance relationship. Long distance.

Long distance. That's long. Where you keep a log's length apart. A long distance relationship. 35% of people said yes, they have. 65% said no. But that also concludes people who haven't.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have never had a long distance relationship, period. Yeah, right. Next on the show, Executive Intern Anya and Megan are both doing something they saw on a TV show. This came up because we talked about the Finnish having a great start.

Not the Finnish as in like the finish of the day. The Finnish, the people from Finland, have a great start to the finish as in like the finish of the day the finish the people from Finland have a great start to the day and one of their tips Megan and intern Anya both just said

yes we do that yeah and then you two both proceeded to roast us I was like no need Flesh, Vaughan and Megan

the podcast ZM we were talking about how the finish keys to Finnish happiness. Yep. Because they're the happiest country in the world for the third year running. So they know what they're talking about.

Wonderful people. Simple flag. Yep. Very simple to draw a flag. You can draw a T, you're in. Yeah. If you've got a blue one and a yellow one, you're in. They invented Angry Birds.

That's probably got all their frustration out. Nokia. They invented Nokia Birds. That's probably got all their frustration out. Nokia. They invented Nokia. Yeah, and then when that went like, you know, didn't keep being a great phone builder, they were like, oh well. And you know, they didn't let it get them down, man.

And we were learning about the Nordic key to happiness when we heard that one of the keys is cold submersion, right? Cold showers. They have a cold shower and it, boom, wakes them up. Every one or just some of them?

No, that big. All those Scandinavian countries, it's the sauna to the dip in the ice or the roll in the snow and then back into the sauna. It's the extremes. Right. I was always told that would give you a cold. But they do it and they believe it's a key to Right. I was always told that would give you a cold. But sure.

They do it and they believe it's a key to their health and their happiness. It was when we were talking about this that Megan and Executive Intern Anya pipe up. I'm all about the cold showers because I watched an episode of Goop on Netflix. Now this is Gwyneth Paltrow's show. She, yeah, had the website first

where everyone reported on the wacky stuff that was on there. But now there's, I think website first where everyone reported on the wacky stuff that was on there but now there's I think six episodes or something on Netflix you must, you simply gotta watch it because they investigate one different thing in each episode and one particular episode is about the Iceman. What's the most

dangerous? Wim Hof. Oh, Hoffman's breathing or whatever. Yeah. The Wim Hof method. I've heard people do this, they do swear by it. It's ice submersion, whatever. Yeah. The Wim Hof method. I've heard people do this. They do swear by it. It's ice submersion, right? Yeah. And then you teach yourself to have cold showers little bit by little bit. And then what do you aim for?

Two minutes? Is that it with the breathing? And you can breathe. He doesn't feel the cold anymore, right? Because a lot of athletes do this, don't they? They have the ice bath after like a rugby game. Yeah. To help them recover faster.

He takes a whole bunch of people out and he talks about how he's helped people with different, you know, like sore bits and different ailments of their bodies. But he takes them out into the snow and they do like yoga and stuff in the snow to get used to it. And then at the end,

they go full submersion in this icy water. But he swears by it. Not for long though. No, no, no. You get hypothermia. Regardless of how much breathing you do, you will die. Yeah, and also he says it's not something, you shouldn't just jump in a lake when you're not,

like you've got to build yourself up to it. Right. But it's very good for you. Because if you don't, you have to do his breathing technique too. Because if you don't, like cold water can restrict your blood vessels and it can make you gasp and it has a strain on your heart or something like that. I fell in the pool last weekend.

Did you? Yeah, I was cleaning a little bit and there was something and I was reaching for it and I slipped and fell in and it was so cold and that's what happened to me. You're like. Yeah, so you could have done the Wim Hof method and you would have been fine. You have to push your hands to the side and breathe out.

Go, whoo, whoo, whoo. And it helps control your breathing. Because I know some pretty hot people. Do you know how I'll listen to them if they're hot? Yeah. Because it's obviously working for them. Why do you never listen to me? Because they're hot.

I don't know. And they say that their family's thing is every morning everyone's got to jump in the pool, you swim to one end, you swim back, and then you can hop out and you put a robe on and you have a nice hot coffee and it's good for every morning everyone's got to jump in the pool, you swim to one end you swim back and then you can hop out and you put a robe on and you have a nice hot coffee That's your friend's girlfriend, are you allowed to call her hot? Oh they know they're hot It's a very hot family They might play it down

but they're not blind So you do a cold shower every day At the end, this is what Victoria Beckham does, so you have your? No, at the end. This is what Victoria Beckham does. So you have your shower, and then at the end, I crank it, and I just go one, two, three, and crank it as low as it'll go, and then you start doing the breathing thing in the shower.

So you're in your shower going... Yeah, and if you control your breathing and stuff, and when you get out, you feel revitalised and ready. Yeah, and those Auckland water reserves have dropped another 2% because everybody wasted their time at the end of the shower. No, it's still quick. It's still quick. Executive Intern, aren't you? You're also doing this. Yes, because I saw it, also the Goat Plate episode,

but also Art Green has converted his chest freezer into an ice bath and I've been inspired. You converted your chest freezer? Yeah, don't tell Mum and Dad. Now, I've been inspired. You converted your cheese freezer? Yeah, don't tell Mum and Dad. Now, I've just got a fridge freezer. I could probably sit in it up to my waist, I reckon. And there's incredible health benefits. It's good for circulation.

Apparently, it can help with weight loss. It can help with your metabolism. It's good for skin. It's good for your hair and skin, because when you have hot showers, it's apparently not really good for your skin. It's good for your hair and skin because when you have hot showers, it's apparently not really good for your skin. Yeah, right. It's a game changer.

I mean, it's not here to change your mind. I enjoy it. I don't care. How many do I have to do before I look like Art Green? Oh, babes. How many do you guys? More than just cold showers. God damn it. How cold does it have to be? How many have you guys done? I've been doing it a couple of times a week week probably for four months, I reckon.

Yeah, I'm probably the same actually. How many times a week do you have to do it? Two? Well, I just do it like once a week, just like straight cold. Yeah. And then the other times when I go to the gym, I'll do it like, yeah, as Megan does too, the last minute. You're like, ready? No, I'm in the shower.

One, two, three, hit it cold. And then because it's already warm, it gradually gets to cold and you kind of don't notice that if you're doing the breathing. But this is all right for you guys because you don't have penises. They'll go real small in the cold. Yeah, but aren't you about to get dressed? Doesn't matter. That lingers.

That's traumatising for the penis. It remembers trauma. You're worried it's not going to stay that size. What if it doesn't come back? I know. It's like when you pull a funny face and your mum will be like, I hope the wind doesn't change. It's like you look at your penis and you're like,

I hope the temperature doesn't change. Or it does change, rather. Back to the warmth. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about a word, and the word is the word that this song takes its title from.

Just before I play this, Mary Poppins, is there anything, like, bad in there? You know how some of the old Disney movies now, they're like, ooh, ooh, ooh. Yeah, I haven't heard. Okay. I don't think Mary Poppins has been cancelled for anything, has it? No. Okay, good to hear.

Was she a racist? Good to know. Well, that's what I don't know. Watch for the big bird. This is, she's just won a horse race, apparently. Is it for you, Mary Poppins? I've never seen Mary Poppins I haven't either

She's got an umbrella right? Is that the one where she flies with an umbrella? I believe so Okay yeah that's all I know Okay I'm just going to fast forward a bit Right It's supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious

If you say it loud enough you're always suddenly cautious Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Right. That's exactly what it says here on the karaoke version that I loaded up on YouTube. I can leave that playing in the background. You know that song, eh? Yeah.

Okay. So did you know that supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, whatever, is an actual word? What? I thought they made it up for the song. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Yeah. When you don't have a word that fits the whole deal, it's kind of a nonsense word, right? Yeah.

It's something to say when you've got nothing to say. Well, the actual word was first published in a book called Crazy English by a guy called Richard Lederer. Lederer. Lederer. Lederer. Lederer. Lederer. Just get rid of one of the er's. Lederer.

Lederer. Anyway, and if you break it down, it's a compound word, so it's made up of all the words that make it. Super meaning above. Kali, which means beauty. Fragilistic, which means delicate. Expiala, to atone. And docious, which is educable. Educatable?

No, it's not educatable. It's educable. Educable. What does that mean? What does that mean? So it means atoning for educability through delicate beauty. So if you lack in the smarts, your beauty will carry you. So to be supercalifragilisticexpialidocious is when you're hot enough to not need to be smart.

Hot people. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Am I right? Am I right? So that's next time you meet someone who's hot and you're like, how did they get to where they are? Yeah. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

That was a good fact of the day. Yeah. So it's not the nonsense word because this was published some 30 years before the Mary Poppins movie was released and the song was sung. So today's Fact of the Day is supercalifragilisticexpialidocious just means that somebody has pretty much made it through their lack of knowledge with their good looks. Fact of the Day, day, day, day, day.

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Mountie from the social media desk, as well as other roles, including this morning, Wither. Yeah. She's been having a go at Wither. That's been going well. I think you've done very well. Thank you.

But it wasn't all going your way. What are you sniggering at? I think you've done very well. Oh, my God. It was a compliment. It was an actual compliment. It wasn't like an unhanding one. It's just hard because you don't do sincerity genuinely.

Right. It sounds insincere. It did seem a bit condescending. Yeah, it definitely did. It's like that time we voiced... Maybe you should do the weather tomorrow and we can all give you feedback. That's a good idea. No, that would mean Vaughan has to be in at work five o'clock.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Same time everyone's here. Look out the bloody window. It's like that time you voiced that Hurricane Appeal ad. Oh, my God. And they rejected it. Yeah, because you sounded like you were taking the piss.

I was doing my best. Yeah, you were like, please give generously. Yeah. People have lost their homes. Hundreds of people have been affected. You sound like you're being sarcastic. Hundreds of people are being affected. Yeah. Families without power and food and that.

Yeah. There was a script. It wasn't and that, but they were like, oh, can we do it again? But we'll just, he doesn't have to do it. Yeah. Go figure. So don't take that the wrong he doesn't have to do it. Yeah. Go figure. So don't take that the wrong way. It was a genuine compliment.

Yeah. That's how I try being nice. You guys all ruined this for yourself. Now, it wasn't all smooth sailing and genuine compliments yesterday. No. When you sustained a food-based injury. Correct, yeah. I was feeling a bit peckish about 5 p.m.

Okay. I thought I'd cook myselfckish about 5pm. Okay. I thought I'd cook myself up some dumplings just from the freezer. Wait, is this a pre-dinner dumplings? Or were these... This was just dinner. If you aren't pre-dinnering,

I don't know what you're doing. Yeah, pre-dinner dumplings. It's a great idea. Now, I'm actually a big fan of the... Some of the supermarket dumplings are really good. These were very high quality. Vegan as well.

Oh, okay. So, yeah, I thought I'd cook some dumplings up before dinner because dumplings are really good. These were very high quality, vegan as well. Oh, okay. So yeah, I thought I'd cook some dumplings up before dinner because I was really hungry. How did you cook them? Do you have a bamboo steamer? Did you steam them? Did you, some boil and you can do that pan fry. Pan fry is your best method, right?

Yes, I agree. Yeah, pan fry and a bit of sesame oil. And the lid goes over the pan? Yep, get it nice and crispy and cooked on the inside as well. I am notoriously impatient, especially when it comes to eating, because I get hungry and then that's it. It's like, it's food time. There's no warning.

So I sat down to eat my dumplings and I bit into one. And as soon as I did, I realised I had gone wrong. You'd made a great error. Oh, yeah. So I bit in and the filling spilled out from all angles, dropped right onto the chin and burned off my skin. Yeah. So you gave yourself a degree of burn.

Yeah, there's several layers gone. Oh, my God. You can actually see it. Yeah, I know. I've come out of makeup and it hasn't gone great. Oh my God. You can actually see it. Yeah, I know. A little blister. I've covered it in makeup and it hasn't gone great. Oh my... Because I burnt myself with a GHD

and it doesn't even do what it's done on your chin. Thank you. It's pretty bad. I'm disfigured. Do you know what I've done? Was it a soup?

No, because I was going to say I've done this with a soup dumpling at, was it Yum Char or something? Oh my God. Those bastards done this with a soup dumpling at, was it Yum Char or something? Oh, my God. Those bastards should come with a proper, like, warning. Like an orange and black striped tape over the top.

Yeah. Reminder. These are soup dumplings. They're a bajillion degrees. No, these are mushroom. This wasn't even soup. Oh, you've got to tread lightly. Soup's the next level of the heat when it comes to the dumpling.

Because you, what, bite into it and then all the hot level of the heat when it comes to the dumpling. Because you bite into it and then all the hot... And the soup squirts. If you treat it like an ordinary dumpling, I think traditionally you... Do you open her a little bit?

I don't know. I don't know. The dumpling. I don't know. And you let it breathe. I don't know. Then the walls collapse and your soup's everywhere.

I don't know the correct etiquette on how do you eat a soup dumpling. You, like, pull it out and blow on it. Pull what out and blow on it? The meat. The dumpling. There's no meat here. It's soup, isn't it?

No, no, no, there's meat, but there's soup. And they're a bigger thing and they get twisted at the top. Oh, wait, is it just soup and the dumpling? Yeah. You stir it up. What? How do they even make that? I don't know, but it's... It's twisted at the top. Oh wait, is it just soup in the dumpling? Yeah. What? How do they even make that? I don't know, but it stays in there. I thought it was dumplings in a soup. No, it's just soup in the dumpling.

We're not alone. There's a video on YouTube called the best way to eat soup dumplings. It's had half a million views. Because the first time you eat a soup dumpling, you get burnt. Almost die. You almost die. You almost die. But it's like anything that keeps its heat, like toasted sandwiches. Yeah.

If you eat those too quickly, you could get... There's no way of breaking that seal, though, for the soup dumpling. So on the back of this, Mountie's scarring her face from a dumpling. When have you had a food injury? When has food injured you? We want to take some calls now. So A, to help Mountie feel better, and B, just have a laugh. 0800 DARS at M. When the very thing was supposed to sustain your living almost ended up.

Yeah. So Mountie at the social media desk burned her chin with a dumpling, a hot dumpling, last night. It's blistered. Yeah, we want to know if you've had a food injury. We did mention as well before the soup dumplings. How crazy soup dumplings can be. I reckon it was the end of last year I had my first ever soup dumpling.

It's just a dumpling and inside is soup. The soup's inside the dumpling. It's not a soup with, like, wontons in it. That's what I thought you were going to say. Wonton noodle soup, which is also delicious. And the first time I had one of those burnt my tongue. Oh, yeah. Because I was like, ah, and then it went everywhere.

So if you ever come across a soup dumpling, the soup is inside the dumpling. You pick it up with like some tongs. It might come with tongs or you could use chopsticks. By the top and put it into the spoon, the soup spoon that comes with. You bite the top off it. Then you let the soup in there breathe a little.

You blow on it if it needs to be cooler. Slurp the soup. Next time, all the dumpling in the mouth. So it's like everything. Three parts. Three parts, not all in the mouth at once. Yeah, no, that's how you get burned. We're taking your calls on your food injuries.

Kyra, it was a hot noodle soup? Yeah, it was. Was it like in a cup? Yeah, so I was still quite young and I went to go pick it up and my mum's friend was sort of playing a game, like, no, and then

I actually picked it up and he got a fright because I was holding it and was like, no. So then I got a fright and it just splashed all up my neck and my skin rolled up from the heat. And my mum thought it was one of the noodles so just quickly, like, reaction

just ripped it off, but it was my skin. Oh my god! Jeez! Oh my god! Ouch! Yeah, I luckily can't really remember it because I was still quite young, but I was in intensive care for, like, a week and a half and hospital for another week and a half after that. Oh, my God.

Do you have any, like, marks you can still see it on your neck? Yeah, there's one big scar you can still see, but only if I, like, really point it out and then another small one underneath it. That is crazy. Those day games with hot water. Yeah, no cup of noodle soups. All right, we'll keep your calls coming in.

We'll get to more of your calls and texts next. A cute dog just went past the window. We want to know the food injuries that you've got from food. Mountie has a burnt chin after a dumpling whoopsie last night. Raynor, what happened? I invited my

sister over for dinner and I was making lasagna in those crappy tinfoil baking dishes from the food market. I went to go pull one of them out and the tray fell apart and it all fell on my bare feet. Oh my God.

So it would have just literally come from the oven where it was 200 degrees. Yeah. Molten lava. It literally came out of the oven and fell straight on my feet. Have you got a scar? Yeah, I've got a couple of scars on my feet, but I was more annoyed about wasting lasagna. Yes. I think we can still save this.

Just scrape the top. Luckily, I had made two. I didn't make the same mistake the second time. Oh, wow. Okay, Raina, thanks for your call. Charlene, what was your food-related injury? Yeah, I was camping, and we were toasting marshmallows

and holding them up by the fire, and then my marshmallow caught fire. And so as I was sick to put the fire out the marshmallow came off and splattered me in the face oh my god and that's on fire and it's melting it's all melted i got blisters all over my eyelids oh my god and it was stuck to me i couldn't get it back off. Like sugary napalm. Yeah. Oh, my God. I know.

And your face looks like a s'more. S'mores. Yeah, it wasn't good. The kids got a fright. Oh, my God. And then when you're sleeping, ants are all over your face. It's a whole thing, isn't it? Ah, Charlene, thanks for your call.

Ah, some other text messages. I had a poached egg explode when I put my knife into it and the yolk squirted out onto my forehead. I still have the scar. Whoa. Yeah. That's an explosive yolk. Somebody said...

How hot are you cooking those eggs? I don't know. Like a fried egg? No, they said poached. Poached. Oh, okay. Freshly poached egg. Somebody else said that they had just heated up a cup of soup

to extreme levels and dropped the cup and as they dropped they looked down to see where the cup was going to hit. It hit the ground and it just sprayed steaming hot soup up into their face. Someone else said a cheese Kransky sausage. The cheese dripped down my chin. The blistering took

over a week to heal. Molten cheese. I burnt my throat on chicken and corn soup. Couldn't talk for a week. The doctor said it was amongst the worst burns he'd ever seen internally. Oh my god. I never even thought about that. Yeah. Wow. Somebody else said they choked on the little

seeds. You know when somebody makes you a smoothie and it's got berries in it and little seeds, a whole lot of little seeds went up the straw at once. I couldn't breathe, but I didn't want to make a scene.

So you just passed out? So yeah, I had to like sit down and like bang myself against the... Always make a scene. Yeah. Yeah, if you're choking,

you've got to make a scene. I was a soldier in East Timor. I met up with a mate over there. He had a terrible facial injury. I was like,

bro, what happened? Thinking it was a, you know Timor. I met up with a mate over there. He had a terrible facial injury. I was like, bro, what happened? Thinking it was a, you know, a conflict wound. And he said, well, a piece of thermo tomato fell out of my toasted sandwich and stuck to my chin. And just sizzled while it was there and left a really bad scar. Tomato retains heat well. Oh, the tomato. Do they what? In fact, try that this winter.

Fill up your hot water bottle with tomatoes. And it will stay hot 40% longer. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

And music lives here. ZM.