ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 16th November 2021

Episode Date: November 15, 2021

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The ZM Podcast Network. Clay. ZM's Fleetchpawn and Megan. Hello, welcome to the Fleetchpawn and Megan podcast. Thanks to McCafe, Barista Mate Coffee available, dry through and McDelivery at level 3 and also Dine In at level 2. You've just joined us talking about nerds that fuck. We were just, it's probably worth noting,

we were just talking that I've been watching Beauty and the Geek. Yeah. And it's kind of like an interesting show. A lot of it, a lot of it's in worth noting. We were just talking that I've been watching Beauty and the Geek. Yeah. And it's kind of like an interesting show. A lot of it's in the edit. Like, a lot of it. You can tell they've edited it to make them look socially worse or to make the females look stupid or whatever. Yeah.

But just a lot of social awkwardness. And I said I'm not quite – and a lot of them are virgins and I don't understand why because at my school, some of the earliest people fucking were nerds and they fucked on the nerds. And I was this awful. I wasn't popular, but I wasn't quite there. I was in this middle group.

You were the freak. Just no, there was just zero sexual energy and there was a lot of sexual confusion, but there was no like, there was no sex happening. The nerds were fucking and then they'd switch partners and you'd be like, Martin, what happened to Helen? She's with Dennis now. Martin, Dennis and Helen.

When was this, the 60s? No, 90s. And they were some of the earliest people fucking, but none of these dudes are on. I've said fucking a lot. I do apologize. It feels very harsh. It's like you've jumped into the deep, hot end of the podcast.

Speaking of nerds, producer Jared, I found your Dungeons and Dragon dice at my house at the weekend. It's a D12. It's a D12-sided... Would that be used for an attack? Yeah, that would be a great attack. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So at the weekend, I put on my Summerlit duvet.

I've gone from medium duvet to summerlit Oh you put the coverlet on And so what I had to do was get the spare bed Right up against the wall Because underneath I pack all the old duvets in a vacuum bag So I got to vacuum bag That was so enjoyable

Can you do that? It's so fucking It's good It's so big and puffy Any party you want to hop in there? Get yourself all vacuumed up So much to try it out No not really

I have a breathing straw Not after I've seen You've vacuum packed your dick Haven't you? That's just Every time I shave my pubes Nice seal Wow

No hair you get a good seal So I get the beard up And underneath are all the Things the cat has chased Under the bed And couldn't get a good seal. So I get the bed up, and underneath are all the things the cat has chased under the bed and couldn't get to, including this dice. And I'm like, what is this? And then I'm like, Jared House set like maybe two years ago,

nearly two years ago. And did the cat steal your Dungeons and Dragons dice? Yeah, not only my Dungeons and Dragons dice, that's a limited edition Critical Role dice from my Critical Role set. I've been doing Critical Roles all through the show. I've been doing critical rolls all through the show. I've been like, oh, Vaughn, you've got to go and meet the troll under the bridge. Eight. Eight out of 12.

Eight's a good amount of damage. Yeah, you've got to hit them with an axe. Yep. Is that how Dungeons? I can't believe you nerded in my house. There you go. Have it back. Good catch.

Nerding's actually the very low end of things that happen in your house. People wouldn't be able to believe. You can use this for bedroom roleplay Oh yeah Roll above the sink and do something Excuse me, just wait there Let me just roll the dice to see what we do next Wow, okay Do you have a key down the side?

Look, eight, what is that down there? Oh, licking And now roll the other dice to see what body part because you can make Dungeons and Dragons sexy guys I don't know if you can

absolutely not don't be doing it but you've been crafting you came in here you said you've been crafting for the past couple weeks I've been experimenting with resin

ah sex stuff oh yeah okay now resin the people on YouTube and Facebook videos cover up holes in things and put noodles in and then resin

over it, right? That's resin. Or like people who'd make those tables. And they pour it and it looks like a river or whatever. I totally want a blue hard river in the middle of my table. Yeah, they make a table and then they put fairy lights in it and then the resin fills it in and it looks like you've got lights in your table. What happens when the fairy lights blow out you've got to start again yeah you've got to take out

your resin and report yeah yeah so what have you made with resin um i made vaughn a little present for our dnd game um oh my god can we stop talking about this nerd shit never um so I've made you a potion of healing. Oh, wow. What? 2d4 plus 2. So yeah, a potion of healing. It's a healing potion. Wait, how did you make that? That's a little, like big vial.

Well, you just filled up a glass with resin. Yeah, sparkly resin. Sparkly resin. 2d4 plus 2 is how much healing you get from a potion of healing. So I would roll these. You are both on a level of... So I'll go 4 crystal healing isn't it? This is crystals. You're in the crystals. No because this is this is fictitious in a game we know it's not real we just have fun playing it. That is so nerdy but it's also just the sweetest thing. So that would give me an eight HP yeah and then what I can only use it once

yeah because it's a it's a one use health potion. So then I've got to really save this for when I'm fucked. Yeah, pretty much. Like Dennis and Helen and Martin were in high school and I was not. How long did it take you to make that? 24 hours to do the resin. And then I spent most of Monday figuring out how to do the rope thing at the top, just like wrapping it around. And then I stuck a little sealy thing on the cork.

That's so sweet! This is cute as fuck. This is pretty cute. You should start a little Etsy store. You should put a photo of that on the Insider Fam Facebook page. Just so people know what the fuck we're talking about.

Thanks, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fleech, Vaughan and Megan. Three minutes past six. Your chance to win some cash coming up on the show before seven. All thanks to Pump. So now for the activator.

We'll play just before seven. The top six on the way. Yeah, there's a list of baby names that will probably die off or be an endangered species in 2022. I've got the top six homegrown New Zealand names that probably won't see you. Oh, I was going to say one,

but I reckon that'll be on your list. Probably will be. Classic you. And then Vaughan will say, don't ruin my top six. Well, you just made my job one sixth harder. One sixth harder? Probably actually exponentially harder

because by the time it gets to that one, finding the seventh is harder than finding the fourth, for example. Guys, we've got a big announcement and some concert tickets to give away. In 2022, meet ZM Front Left. For Justin Bieber. Justin Bieber has Justice World Tour live in New Zealand and by my guesstimates, 51 weeks away.

Wow. December 7th. That's the countdown. December 7th, 2022 at Auckland's Mount Smart Stadium. We need these things to look forward to. We really do. Everyone's coming back. So, tickets on sale Wednesday, November 24.

So that's not this Wednesday, next Wednesday, 10am. All the details are at ZM Online. You can text Biba, that's I before E, especially with Biba, to 9696 to go in the draw to win a double pass. And right now 0800 DALZITM we will give

caller 10 a double pass. Very generous of you. It is very generous. I'm not buying the tickets. I've just got them to give away. So I'm pretty fast. I sold it like you'd donate your way to get tickets. I'm fast and loose with other people's tickets.

Yeah, good. Good. That's the way to be. Next on the show, we'd call them someone that works at the movies, but a cinema worker has gone viral on TikTok for revealing something behind the scenes at the movies. Oh, God.

Which I thought everybody knew. I did too. And it's not how manky the popcorn machine is. It's not that. That's manky, right? I don't know. Well, maybe that's

their next TikTok. They'll be looking to make a follow-up TikTok. Are you trying to ruin the movies for me? Nah, COVID did that. CDM's Fletch, Ronan Megan.

A cinema worker, a guy that works CDM's Fletchborn and Megan. A cinema worker, a guy that works at the movies, has revealed on TikTok. I love how you had to clarify what a cinema worker was. I don't know, I just hate, it sounds like real ooh-la-la posh. No, that would be theater

if you'd said a theater employee. The cinema. I don't know, I just don't like when people say I'm going to the cinema. It's like, no, you go to the movies. Stop trying to be flash. He's revealed behind the scenes the security cameras that are in all the movie theaters. Now, this is in the UK, but I imagine it's the same here.

And people are a bit shocked because they're like, wait a second. You can see everything when it's dark? Because look at that shot of the security cameras. They've pretty much got a night vision function on them. I assume forever that they have those since pirating became an issue to keep an eye on, make sure people aren't filming at all. I don't think we have those in New Zealand. So he said they also have night vision goggles.

No. Military grace. Yes, they have night vision goggles and the cameras can see the whole cinema. Maybe the flash ones. And they can zoom in and out. I reckon they 100% do because you say piracy.

Westgate events. Maybe the big ones but not the small ones. Not your little. Not your Tiamuru 3. Cinema 3. Wait, so are they like walking into the movie theatre with these goggles on and looking around? Well, I mean, they could by the sounds of it. They could, yeah.

I mean, it sounds like they're just looking at security cameras, though. Right. But he said, yeah, if you think you're coming in for some sneaky adult fun times, we see that too. Because when you catch him at nay during the day when no one's there you're like oh my god we're the only people

in the cinema oh yeah no like I've never because they always they always come in and do that little walk down the aisle

and then they write something down the front and then they walk back again and you're like what are you doing right they always check like how many people

there are or something but yeah Manky you don't want to get home and bit a popcorn between your butt cheeks. Don't you? Like going to the beach? You find a kernel.

It'd be one of those unpopped kernels. Or somebody's old Malteser. But some of them have those leather recliners now. Yeah, some of them are quite flash. Yeah, this guy said not only can they see people having sex, they also see people pulling out, like, their roast chickens in their meals from home. Yeah. Would you be angry, though?

No, not at all. Would you let it happen? Not at all. What was the old choc-top rumour about choc-tops at the movies? No, what are you... Isn't there, like... Like that it's manky chocolate? No. I don't think it's the chocolate that is the problem. They're bought from a company. No, they did, well, they used to dip them on site. They used to dip them on site. I don't think it's the chocolate that is the problem. They're bought from a company. No, they did. Well, they used to dip them on

site. I don't know if you can be casting rumours about movies. No, it was always this rumour about the choc-top at the movies. I'd never. Plus, like a lot of them now have those like pre-packaged sealed ones. Yeah. And they've got plastic bags on them. They can be opened though and resealed. Don't you sully this for me.

I'm hanging out to get back to the movies. In Australia you can buy them at the supermarket. What, like movie... Chop-chops. Yeah, movie theatre chop-chops. Have you ever, like, you've had a movie night at home and you've swung by the cinema to get the popcorn and the treats? No, you just get it from the supermarket.

Are you kidding me? No, it's not the same. Who does that? It's not the same as, like, cinema popcorn. So you will drive to the movies and then pay $25. Why not just go to the movies? No, because if you're just watching it at home, if you're watching something at home.

Or get microbe popcorn, it's better. It's not. It is. It is absolutely not better than the movies. 100% is. My brother. Absolutely not. Timed how long

it would take a bottle of he actually prefers Pepsi. So this is a true story. Wow. He would take a refrigerated bottle of Pepsi

and he knew exactly how long he had to leave it in the freezer for it to become like frozen. Like a slushy. Like a slushy. He knew to the minute

he'd like and it had to be refrigerated. So that was the constant. It went from the refrigerator where it sat at, what, four degrees or something. And it was from there that he worked out and he'd set his watch. He'd be like, beep, put it in, shut it, and he'd come back. He said he was doing it. I was like, this is rubbish.

But yeah, homemade frozen coke. Yeah, yeah, totally. Wow. So he could provide that, the maths on that. Such tight ass. He could provide the maths on that. Such tight ass. He could provide the maths on that for you. Okay, yeah. If you wanted to do your homemade movie snacks.

All right, 13 past six. Very exciting. The Spice Girls are together in one room having talks. Tell you about what next. No, if the Spice Girls are all in one room, it's called a draw. A spice draw. Oh, my God. Or a rack.

Yes, I'm pleased I said it. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The Spice Girls are in confidential talks to do a 2023 world tour. So this is Mel B, Emma, Jerry Jerry and then via Zoom Mel C who was in LA because they were all in London right but not Victoria no so they are trying to convince her to perform

at one of the shows maybe but she didn't do the last bunch of shows that they did well she doesn't need the money and she also can't sing so there's no point of her embarrassing herself at this point in life is there really shows that they did. Well, she doesn't need the money and she also can't sing, so there's no point of her embarrassing herself at this point in life, is there, really?

She said it took me a lot of courage not to go on tour with the Spice Girls again, but to be the one who says, you know, I'm not doing it because things feel different now than what they used to. She's got David at home. She's got the kids. Yeah, she's got a great life. She's got a fashion empire. Yeah, she's got an empire. She's got a great life.

Why would you? Yeah. But they are in plans to apparently start this tour in Australia and then go from there. So that would probably suggest not New Zealand, right? Because were there Kiwis that went to the Spice... Was that pre... Did the pandemic ruin a bit of that? No, that was pre.

The Spice Girls tour? No, that was pre. That was pre. No, that was pre. That was 2019. That was. Oh, okay, right. Yeah, when everyone was gone. But were they going to Australia? I feel like that was not.

I feel like that was the rumour after they did that. Yeah, they did the warm-up, right? The Europe warm-up. I think COVID's probably put this on ice for a bit. So 2023 is now when they're talking about doing it. But surely they're just add-on an Auckland or a Christchurch date. I'd just wait till Mel B did another Weight Watchers ad and then I'd be like, she's obviously desperate for money.

Now's the time to strive. Right. Let's get her on board and then she'll nag the others. Who's the problem? She's not the... They're all keen to do it, aren't they? Yeah, all four of them. Just not Victoria. Yeah, right. She's not doing... They're all keen to do it, aren't they? Yeah, all four of them. Just not Victoria.

Yeah, right. She's not doing it. Nah. They might get her on board for one show. But apparently the person that convinced them to do these reunion shows is Adele. Really? Because she's a massive fan. She was like, you guys...

I don't know if she said money or... She's like, I'll open for you. And they're like, no. And then everyone leaves. Please don't. From the ZM Clickbait Room, this is the Top Six. Very fitting it's from the Clickbait Room today because the list is the baby names no one will use in 2022.

Name Berry. They track people's names and they say what names people are interested in. And when you go on there, apparently you click a little, I'm interested in this name. Some notable names to include of ones that will be used, apparently. Bear, Honey, Lucky, Lulu, Benedict, Daphne and Theo. They sound like dog names. I was going to say, those are not dog names, those are baby names. But there are some.

Did you, Megan, because you're the one that's most recently named a baby in this room, did you use many websites like this and do some research? I didn't. At all. Did you just pick a name? Yeah. We had a name like from very early on in our relationship. Oh really? The crazy couple hadn't named their babies?

Who'd have thought? The intense ones. They were just taking it. They were being pretty cool about it all. Yeah, yeah. Planet real cool. Day two. What are we going to call our babies?

Andrew's like 17. He's like. Excuse me. I was going to get my driver's license first. He was not 17. Megan's like, no, don't get your driver's license. If you need to go anywhere, I'll drive you. Jesus.

Okay. You're talking to the wrong member of the show. Can I have some lunch money? These are the baby names no one will use. Apparently, you've got your Angela's, Kobe, because Kobe Bryant. They say it's peaked on its charts. And then Kobe Bryant, of course, died in a helicopter crash. So it's become too synonymous with one person,

and that's the same reason they think Miley will be. Oh, yeah. Miley will be. Although Dylan, in all of its different spellings, was very popular in the 90s and 2000s. Apparently, it's been very much waning in popularity. Kimberly as well had a peak. Kimberly. Alexa won't be used, and I mean, we all know why. Oh, we as well. I had a peek. Kimberley.

Alexa won't be used. And I mean, we all know why. We all know why. Schitt's Creek. No, that's Alexis. My Alexa did go off a few times during Schitt's Creek though. Did it? Did it?

Yeah. Jeffrey. Won't be. Jeffrey. I just can't imagine a thing. Nah, I couldn't imagine a baby Jeff. Leroy. Leroy. Yeah, certainly not teamed imagine a baby Geoff. Leroy. Leroy.

Yeah, certainly not teamed up with Jenkins, that's for sure. So I've got the top six homegrown New Zealand baby names that might not see much action in 2022. Number six on the list, Hamilton. Okay. It's my hometown. It was the only reason I did it. I was going to pick another one, but then I was like,

I was going to, you know, classic rag on one area. But then I thought, no, I'll keep it close to home. Rag on your own hometown, please. Yeah, yeah, rag on my own hometown. So not many babies will be called Hamilton. Oh, it never occurred to me, Nelson, where you're from, is Nelson from Simpsons. Yeah.

But also named after Lord Nelson. Yeah. Yeah. Hee hee. Yeah. But also named after Lord Nelson. Yeah. And New Plymouth. I mean, no one's calling a baby New Plymouth. Nah. Plymouth. Not even Plummy or Mouthy.

Or New P. No, it's not a baby name. Nah, it's not. That's for sure. Number five on the list of the top six baby names that might not see much use in New Zealand in 2022 are Ranger. Especially if your last name's Ford. Because everyone's got a Ranger.

It's flooded. Ford Ranger's a really rare flooded market. Yeah. Very popular car. Number four on the list of the top six homegrown baby names that might not see much use in 2022. Possum. Yeah. Well, you saw how ferociously people were voting in Bird of the Year this year,

and of course a possum is a predator. Yeah, yeah. So not too many people call him possum. Number three on the list of the top six homegrown baby names that might not see much action in 2022. Judith. Oh, yeah. Because of... Collins.

Yeah. I was thinking Dench, but... Judy Dench. Oh, don't sully Judy Dench. Oh, I know, it's become too synonymous with one person. Nah, probably Judith Collins. But, I mean... Well, she did go up a couple in the latest poll.

Did she? I think she said the same, didn't she? National did, National did. She didn't. Preferred Prime Minister, just behind a mint chocolate trumpet, which are always very popular in the preferred prime minister polls at the start of summer. I'd rather have a boysenberry prime minister trumpet, to be

honest, yeah. It's a bit racist of you to say. They all look the same to me at the supermarket. Maybe I am a trumpet racist. Trumpet 2024. Yes, trumpets are really missing a trick there. Oh my God, no they're not.

They've absolutely, they've really just, someone's going to, in the tip top Zoom today, is going to be like, they've caught a nod. Trumpet sounds like Trump. Someone finally worked it out. They're going to put up a trumpet 24 thing. We've got to send them a thousand trumpets to stop them doing it. And that, tip top, is the only thing that will stop us.

Sullying New Zealand's favourite ice cream brand by associating it with Donald Trump. Yeah. The ball is in your court and you have until this time tomorrow to reply. Number two on the list of the top six homegrown baby names that might not see much use in 2022 are Destiny. Child did great things with the name.

Yeah. Church has absolutely ruined it. Yeah. I knew a girl called Destiny growing up. Was she holding up traffic on the Southern motorway at the weekend? No, but if she was, let's just say

not in favour of the vaccine it wouldn't surprise me. Right. And number one on the list, I mean she might be out there. It's one of those names that pops into my head when I was like, was that a, am I made a person up? So I searched for them on Facebook I couldn't find them.

Oh, okay. So maybe they were made up. Maybe you're imagining school friends again. Highly possible. She had an undercut. It was the 90s. So a lot of people did. And number one on the list of the

top six homegrown baby names that might not see much use in 2022, Delta. Yeah. Okay, Goodrum. It's a lot of hard yards for the name. There's probably some babies out there called Delta just going by Del now

or Deli. Ah. Or not the killer virus. Yeah. Or Alta. Nah. Probably too similar still. But they'd be a virus. Or Alta. Probably too similar still. But they'd be a virus.

Ruined it all. That is today's top six. 60% of people have said that if you are unvaccinated, you cannot come to the family Christmas. No vax, no Santa sacks. No jab, no extra Christmas flab. No prick, no chat about politic. No injection.

I just Googled what rhymes with injection. Ivermectin. No Christmas confection. Oh, yum. Confection. So this will definitely be a contentious Christmas issue. 100%. 100%. Yeah.

I don't have to worry about that because everyone who would come to Christmas is double vaxxed I know mum, dad and my brother are and that's the family Christmas that's your entire Christmas that's my family Christmas there's no problems there that's your boom bar

maybe I could have saved the money on flights and going home at Christmas. By not vaccinating yourself. By not vaccinating myself. But then it would also, if there were some freedoms over summer, I'd imagine you'd be really into taking them and getting out. Absolutely. So if you left it too late, you could get your second vax on Boxing Day.

Loophole. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, don't dilly-dally. We say entirely in jest, of course. Oh yeah. Yeah. Don't dilly dally. We say entirely in jest of course. We do. Is there like, are you allowed to ask people? Because I'm thinking more like along the lines of New Year's

where there's an extended party and I do not know if all of those people would be double backs. Well I mean if you're going to festival yes because you've said. Just like a private party though. But a private party, yeah, that's a good point. And how are you going to find out before you turn up? Like, valid point bringing a baby to, like, some kind of festivities, too.

Oh, God, I forgot you've got a baby. I was like, who's bringing a baby to a New Year's party? I was like, oh, Megan. You know, like an afternoon that goes into the evening. It's a great call. Maybe I'll have another baby just so I don't have to go out. Yeah. But no, that's, yeah, I mean, I guess

you just make a call if you're hosting the party, right? But then do you check people's, we're all going to have these vaccine passports on our phone. Because people are going to get offended because they might be like, okay, well, I'm giving you my word. And then you're like, well, you have to show me. And then like, you find out they're lying. Oh my God. Well, they just get really offended because you're like, okay, well, I'm giving you my word. And then you're like, well, you have to show me. And then, like, you find out they're lying.

Oh, my God. Well, they just get really offended because you're like, well, don't you trust me because I'm your friend. I don't trust anybody. Well, unless you have your New Year's party where everyone has to fly to it. And then that way it's taken care of. Or have it in a different island because I was reading yesterday

the fairies are looking at bringing in the passport. Oh, really? The vaccine passports as well. That's fair enough though. Yeah if you do that then they can't get to your party without showing a certificate. Yeah. I'm surprised the South Island haven't pulled the plug on us already. I honestly wouldn't be

offended. I'd just be like cut them off. I'm surprised the South Island hasn't gone full like emancipation. Is that what it's called? Yeah. Yeah, they're just like, I'm out. We're out. Emancipating the North.

We wouldn't blame you. We wouldn't blame you, South Island. I honestly wouldn't. Or chucking up a big Trump wall. Yeah. Which in New Zealand would just be, like, everybody chips in one weekend and you go down to Mitre 10 and get a trailer load of palings and some fence posts.

But when you get to it and you're like, oh, that's it. Good luck fencing the Marlborough Sounds. You don't have family in the South. You're like, are you guys going to come and see us anytime soon? And your grandson? And they're like... Yeah, I'm going to jump out of this frying pan into the fire, I think. Yeah.

I'd love to. That sounds fantastic. I don't think they're coming. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. Gen Zers have declared something else as chuggy. I hate this word so much. I haven't actually, that's the first time I've heard chuggy said in a long time. So apparently being blonde is not fashion anymore.

So I'll give you a list of celebrities who were blonde who have dyed it brown. Hailey Bieber, Gigi Hadid, Florence Pugh dyed her hair brown. Margot Robbie's gone a lighter shade of brown. Shailene Woodley has dyed her hair brown. Lily James, Cara Delevingne, Elizabeth Olsen,

all going for brown hair. Sounds like a great time to be blonde then. Stand out a little bit more. You reckon? Yeah. Apparently, hairstylists are saying that Gen Zers, especially, Gen Z? Gen Zers works, yeah. They have decided that natural is better.

So, a little less makeup, a little less effort in the hairstyle, naturally embracing the texture and the colour and not dyeing it bleached blonde. Do you think the pandemic's kind of caused that? Yes, absolutely. Everyone's like, this is what's in because it's more natural. It's like, no, you're just going to get to a hair salon. It was less your roots are showing

and more like you had half and half. Yeah. Absolutely. Less effort. But yeah, apparently being blonde isn't in anymore. ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. Play ZM. Tonight on The Repair Shop. Well, actually, it was last night on The Repair Shop.

Has Vaughan bitten off more than he can chew at the clock table? He may have, yes. Will there be tears? Probably, but because he broke his favourite clock. Repair shop is so wholesome. It's, oh my God, it's my favourite TV show. I just don't think there's a TV show that can compare. I'd love to see behind the scenes.

I'd love to see... What? No, there's just so much, like, how they select the people, if they make shit up. Because, you know, like, heaps of these shows, they, you know, they zhuzh them up a bit. They definitely zhuzh it up. But then it's so stiff British upper lip half the time.

I know. Some guy's father who died at sea, they were a store as life jacket, and he didn't take them with him that day that saved this guy's son. And they're building up the tears.

They're building up the emotion. And he's like, thank you very much. All right, I'll be off now. Boy. And you can just imagine

the producers like, cry, you old man. Yeah. If it was America, they'd be like, ah. Yeah. But stiff British

upper lipness takes over completely. Yeah, that show rules. A, it's old stuff getting fixed, which I love. Old people crying sometimes, which I'm also a big fan of. I still remember when they fixed the kitchen scale. This is a good one. They repainted the numbers on it. Anything metal.

Anything metal. I love the metal ones because they get that little sandblasting unit out. Oh, yeah, that's a good time. So, yeah, this clock. We've had it. We got this clock because that's the other thing. Whenever I put this clock, it's in the background of a photo or something that we'll put on Instagram. We're like, where'd you get that clock from?

And so this really invited a lot of this yesterday. It's one of those clocks like an old school airport arrivals, departures board. It flicks around. Flicky tabs. Flicky tabs. Flip clocks. Do they have a name? Flip clocks.

Right. Auto calendar flip clocks. Because it would have the date. Yeah. The time was on the hands though, wasn't it? Yes. The time is an analog clock. And what I learned about this last night, I've never really questioned how it worked.

Right. But when I took the back off, I've only ever had to change the batteries in this thing. Yeah. But something's gone wrong. The clock, when it gets to 12 o'clock, there's some metal prongs hidden behind the hands. And when they get to 12 o'clock is when they're touching, the two metal prongs touch this wire,

which completes the circuit that tells it to go from a to PM. Oh good, you could rig a bomb to that probably. You absolutely could. You absolutely could. For midnight or midday. Good lord. I've been watching a lot of FBI on Neon. Yeah. Every second time that happens, it goes AM, PM, then

it sends another pulse to the day and that changes the big number, so like the 8th becomes the 9th and then every end of the month it tells it to change the month as well. Right. And you in your infinite wisdom decided to get into this and fix it. Correct. I have found where the problem lay.

Lies. Lay. I'm trying to sound British and posh. I found where the problem lay. Over here at the clock table, Vaughan's found where the problem lay. Over here at the clock table, Vaughn's found with a problem lay. And closing the circuits from the hands. Yeah. It's independently powered,

so that bit still goes around. Oh, guys. Like, I was just shut. I was like, you've wrecked today. And I was like, nah. I'm surprised she even let you open it up. I would have been like, don't touch it. You're going to break it.

Yeah, take it to a repair shop. Like an actual repair shop. This guy is the repair shop. No, he's not. He's the ultimate tinkerer. You've got zero expertise and knowledge in this. There's fantastic news. Oh, here we go.

Lani, who works here, said there's this old guy that comes to this company once a week for a Monday. You know Monday's headphones day? Yeah. If you listen, you won't know this, but if you break your headphones here at work, Monday is headphones day. Headphones day, yeah. The headphones guy is some old guy that does it all for free, just to have something to do. What? There's an old mate that comes here to this building. He should be on the repair shop. I know!

He just wants something to do. And so you give him a box of stuff to do and he sits in there and solders and plays and fixes everybody's stuff for nothing and then... That's gonna be you. Yeah, it is. When you're old because you're bored. That is so wholesome. Your wife wants you out of the house.

Except I'll just make a whole lot of problems a whole lot worse. What? I know. I want to meet this guy, but apparently he can chat. Oh, yeah, right. But, I mean, you've got to pay the price, don't you? There's got to be some back and forth. Right.

So your repair shop episode ends by you giving your clock to an actual repairer on the clock table. It looks like it. It looks like I whipped the blanket off to myself and I'm like, amazing, does it work? Nah, it's not any more broken than it was though, that's the good news. Taylor Swift, all too well. Oh, a bit long. Goes on. Now, so where do we start?

Because Vaughan, you've got questions. Look, I've seen, I saw a TikTok. You shared the TikTok, Carwen, and it was a woman screaming about Jake Gyllenhaal. And I'm like, what's he done wrong? I always really liked him. Well, Carmen at the social media desk, a huge Taylor Swift fan. Can you tell us what's happened over the weekend

for those that, like Vaughn, just are just confused about all the social media action over the weekend? Right. So obviously she lost her Masters. She doesn't own her Masters anymore. So she's re-recorded her album Red. What year was that initially released? Oh gosh, I don't actually know. A while ago?

Ages ago, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She dated Jake in 2010, so after that. Okay, it came out 2012. It was her fourth album. Okay. And I like that she's re-recorded all of these, because now she owns them all. So does that mean if you go to a streaming service, you've got

to pick the latest album so that Scooter Braun doesn't get any money? It says Taylor's version. Yeah, so she has Taylor's version next to all of those and that means she owns them. I'm actually not sure if when you go to streaming services what shows up first. Right. Well, she wasn't on streaming services for so long.

Right. Yeah. But if you're a good Taylor fan, you're going to pick the Taylor's versions. There's actually like a website that you can put your details into and it'll replace all of your playlists with the new versions of the songs. Take out the old ones.

Wow. So why are we seeing so much stuff over the weekend? Because Vaughn's very confused. Why is he? What did Jake do wrong wrong because one of the things is he didn't want to go to a party and i'm like what's the problem here stay at home he's probably got a lovely house yeah why do people hate jake gyllenhaal right so she put out a song called all too well which is like very famous uh it was originally 10 minutes for the original

album she cut it down to three she's now released the 10 minute version, which fans are very excited about, and it's gone to a bit more detail about what was wrong with their relationship. And that's the song we just played. What was wrong with it? How long did they go out? A while.

Like how long? Like a year? Two years? I think around a year. Oh gosh, I'm going to get roasted if that's wrong. Okay. I am a big fan, I promise. But yeah, and so she was quite young at the time and he was about 10 years older than her. She was 20 and he was 29. Three months.

It was three months. Oh okay, three months. I'm sorry, the song's longer than the relationship was. Oh don't be that guy. But it was one of those relationships that after it ended it kind of dragged for a bit. Right. Which she mentions in the song.

Whose fault was that? Well, if you listen to the lyrics, it sounds like he kept calling her back up. Right. To break her like a promise, to quote the lyrics. Okay, to break her like a promise. Ouch. Okay. Feeling very grilled here.

But yeah, and so obviously mentions the scarf that was left behind, mentions someone consoling her, an actress, which was some of the questions that I got punished with on Instagram last night from Vaughn Smith. Yeah. Who is the actress that's mentioned? So the actress is a good person. She's like, this person looked after me afterwards. Yeah, like consoled her at an event or something.

There's rumours that it could be Anne Hathaway, Jen Aniston, but it's not confirmed. Right, now she left her scarf at Jake's sister's house, Magdalene Hall. Yeah. And she wants it back? Well, I feel like at this point she's definitely moved on from the scarf. But yes, she supposedly left her scarf behind.

There are rumours on TikTok that someone else now has the scarf, not anyone in the Gyllenhaal family. I mean, she totally bought a new scarf. I don't know why she's harping on about the scarf. I did hear Maggie Gyllenhaal do an interview and she was like, she never left it at my house. Yeah, so I think it also is a bit of a metaphor for the relationship

and innocence and stuff. Yeah, but you can't just accuse someone of stealing a scarf. And then when you get called out for lying saying, oh no,

it was a metaphorical scarf. Well, who knows? It could have been a real scarf and Maggie just never saw it. Because Maggie could afford a scarf,

couldn't she? She's an actress herself. Maybe she just saw the scarf and was like, oh, I don't know whose this is. They'll come back for it. And then she just adopted it. Or someone else from the house picked it up and took it. Yeah.

Okay. Why? But people are so furiously angry at Jake. And I like him. It's just reignited the emotion. He lost Heath Ledger. He was probably still mourning Heath. It was 2010.

Two years later. Two years later. Two years later. Did you watch the short film? Is this the one where she fingers the wedding cake? No, that's a music video for a different song. And she's also not doing that. She is. She's like, she runs her finger through it.

And that little girl's like, oh, well, if an adult's doing it, it must be fine. And then they just set about destroying this wedding cake. Whose wedding cake is that? Some other ex-boyfriend that chose to get married. She's like, I'll show him, I'll ruin this day with my cake fingers. That music video is directed by Blake Lively. Maybe you should ask her. What she means.

Okay. Wow, okay. And have we covered everything there? Anything else to know? Any other FAQs, Vaughn? That was kind of what I couldn't avoid. You watch the short film and you kind of get the vibe about Jake Gyllenhaal rather than kind of break down exactly what he did wrong.

Yeah. It's a vibe. So we hate him now. Well, I mean, we've kind of had a dislike for him. Maybe you just instead hate, like, that situation and how he treated her. He might be different now. He's still dating 20-year-olds, but he might be different now. That was 10 years later. No, that was 20 year olds but he might be different now. That was, no, that was

that didn't sound like you meant that. ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan. I just feel like I may I'm flustered before I, and it's an explanation. My good friend Duncan Garner has COVID. And it's thrown me. I know. From the

usual, you know. I know it has. The usual ivory tower of broadcasting professionalism that both Duncan and I. I know. I know. Live upon. Any other friends? Well, I don't even. You be the judge.

I'm the godfather to a son. You don't even know him. That's just because you're not good friends with him. I am allowed friends that aren't you. Jake Gyllenhaal. We wish Duncan all the best. A speedy recovery. Horrible news. 111 was called by a woman

in Dunedin. Dunedin police said she was very distressed and she was being held hostage by a possum. Dramatic pause. This is where you're like, wow, a possum. Dramatic pause. This is where you're like, wow, a possum. But you were in yours, a possum, because before you told everyone we were going to talk about the possum.

Yeah. I mean, you should be making some apologies. I know you're a little shaken because you're also very good friends with broadcaster Duncan Gunner. But, I mean, you've got to pull it together, Son. You've got to be a bit more professional in these trying times. Now, apparently she attempted to leave her house and get to her car, but the possum would charge her every time.

Is this during the day? No. It was 11 o'clock at night. Shine your torch in its eyes. Oh, my God, I wouldn't have thought of that. You're so smart. I wouldn't have thought of that. Wouldn't you?

With your phone. Oh, yeah, just use a torch. They arrived and they were like, it's a baby possum. And then when they went to the door, it came out and it climbed the officer's leg. And it wasn't aggressive. It was scared it had lost its momma. No, maybe that's... It had lost its momma.

It's lost its momma. Maybe the momma was the one that was coming and attacking her because the baby was there. There was no sign of the momma was the one that was coming and attacking her because the baby was there. There was no sign of the mome. Those are razor sharp claws too. That officer's going to have to have a new trouser. A new pair of trousers. Perhaps. But the possum was dubbed

the Black Road Ripper because it was on Black's Road and it probably by the sounds of it did do some damage to the officer's pants. Yeah, right. They finished the story by saying, no harm had come to the possum or the officer. Did this woman not have a back door?

Did she not think about that? No. Like, everyone has two doors, right? Unless you're in an apartment. You've come up with two very good solutions. Shine the torch and take the other door. I mean, do I have to think of everything here? I think so.

By the sounds of it, you're going to have to. Or at least climb out a window. Lots of options here. But you know when you panic, your brain can't think. You can't think straight when you start panicking. So. Great story, though. Embarrassing, though, because this has been picked up by a lot of media.

Is this a 105? Is this a 105? No, it's a 111. It's a 111? She called 111. No, no, because this has been picked up by a lot of media. Is this a 105? Is this a 10-5? No, it's a 111. It's a 111? She called 111. No, no, but I'm saying it should have been a 10-5. It should have been a deal with this on your own. You're an adult, kind of, in all honesty.

No offence. Yeah. It's a possum, too, so you could have called pest control. Yeah, no, you could call the council. That would probably be your first step. Yeah, but it's at night, though. It's 11 o'clock at night, but they must have some after hours. But then they'll probably tell you to wait till the morning.

Also, like, 11 o'clock at night, where's she off to? Ice cream. Ice cream, yeah. Yeah, you got a good point there. This is why it's always important to have an ice cream stash at home. But I don't, I've got to, because if you go to the server and they've locked the doors, they have to put the Memphis through the slot, and they might, because you always

got to give it a little squeeze. You got to find a good one. You don't want one that's got crushed. Crushed. Because some of them are. You can feel that it's come off the chocolate. And the person that's working night shift, putting the ice cream through the slot, they don't care.

They don't do the quality control that you would. They don't care. They probably actually want to get rid of the ones that melted and then re-froze. Yeah, exactly. They're keen to get rid of them because they're a hard sell in person. That sounds like a 111 issue, actually. Put it on the forecourt and they give you a dud. Police come out all the time with these lists and they say,

here's why people have called 111 and they shouldn't have. Yeah. And you hear news stories all the time, more so from America, like, oh, I didn't get the right pizza, so they call 111. That spate of 111 calls when Shortland Street had a disaster storyline, people confusing reality with fiction. I mean, it's

good now because those people are too busy protesting vaccinations to actually call up and report storylines on Shortland Street being an actual problem. So, it's good. If there's a positive to be taken, it's keeping them busy. So, this morning we were wondering,

have you called, or maybe even, imagine if we talked to someone who worked at the 111 Dispatch. That would actually be just an incredible chat on its own one day. It would be fascinating to talk to an emergency responder about what people had called 111 for. Or maybe a family.

I mean, recently there was that kid that called 111 to ask the police to come around to have a look at his presents, right? Oh, that's pretty cute. Well, maybe it was a story from when you were a kid. But 0800 DARS at M, you can text as well, 9696. When did you call 111 when you shouldn't have? Maybe you just panicked, you thought it was a bigger issue or something else was at play,

and then it turned out maybe you didn't need to call 111 and waste everyone's time. Yeah. More of a 10-5. 38 days. I don't want to alarm anybody. 38 days away from Christmas. Whoa.

Yeah. And, you know, that means it's time for the big cookie time Christmas buckets. Coming up on the show, in the next 10 minutes, we're going to play an activator, and we will need two callers when this activator plays, and we're just going to do like a coin toss, but with a cookie time cookie from one of the buckets. And you just call right, top or bottom,

because there's no heads or tails on a cookie, is there? It's more top or bottom. No. Yeah. So you just have to call it, Carilli, $500. And we've got cookie time buckets up for grabs as well

so the activator coming up in the next 10 minutes. We're talking about when you called 111 when you probably shouldn't have. We're taking your calls after a woman called the police on a possum.

In Dunedin. That was holding a hostage in her own home. Some messages on Instagram someone said a drunk family member thought their truck was stolen from home

but they forgot they left it at work and taxied home. I wonder how many people do that. So often. A few. A friend thought someone was breaking into her house, so she hid in the cupboard and called 111, but it was just her mum coming home late. That's how people in America shoot each other.

Yeah. Come, guys, we've got to work on our communication. We've got to work on our communication. Reported our motorbikes as stolen when they were sitting in the driveway. We'd just forgotten we'd taken them out of the garage. I understand you'd walk in and put motorbikes on here. Panic would set in, but surely at some stage, before calling, you'd remember you put them outside.

All right, keep your texts coming in. 9696 0800 dials at M. When did you call 111 when you shouldn't have? We are talking about what you called 111 for That perhaps Wasn't necessarily an emergency call But to be fair The lady that was trapped by a possum

Probably had no other options So why not? That was an emergency My sister's a police officer Reads this text message And was told from dispatch That a woman had called 111 because she had spilt red wine on her wedding dress.

Oh, my God. Come on. Yeah, she'd spilled it herself. That's what dry cleaning's for. If somebody else had spilt the red wine, that's fair enough to call 111 because it was about to be a murder. Yeah. Or it's damage to property.

I was sober driving one night, and I saw someone who I thought was burglarising a retail store. So I called 111, but it turns out they're actually just dropping off some newspapers. Who knew they do that so early in the morning? Yeah, because I sometimes come into work, some places have the keys to like bakeries or cafes and they'll open the door, put the like cakes in. Yeah, people had keys to our cafes. Yeah.

Yeah. Do you see, coming in, I see this every now and then, you'll see a car waving down the road in rural roads and you'll be like, oh, Jesus. And then you get close and you realise, no, it's the person delivering the paper, but they're going from letterbox to letterbox. You're like, how the fuck happened there?

Do you know, quite often I see the donut person in the big donut truck and they just... Who's the donut? What? Let's rob them. I see the donut person in the big donut truck, and they just... Who's the donut? What? Let's rob them. Who's the donut person? The donut store. They don't make the donuts there.

They have them delivered, and they deliver them at like 5 a.m., and they just leave the back flap down, and I'm like, oh, I could just have one. Oh, no, we need to get you a chef's outfit, so you can wait at the door, and you'll be like, hello, thank you for dropping off the donuts. I'm here for work early today. And then they pass you the donuts and then you walk them straight to work.

Why does it have to be Italian? Well, to make it believable, Megan. Yeah, don't you know all chefs are Italian, Megan? And you've got to have a big moustache and maybe even a rat under your hat. Yeah, watching Ratatouille is not life. They were French though, weren't they? Nikki, when did you call 111 when you probably shouldn't have? Oh, I thought I heard gunshots on a Sunday morning.

Oh, Jesus. Okay. So I rang the police to tell them that there must be a gunman on the loose. Yeah. And they said to me, so explain what you heard. And I said, well, gunshots. And they said, well, have you ever heard gunshots before? And I was like yeah

I've watched TV anyway I had a policeman turn up at the door ask me some more questions and then he went about the neighbourhood trying to find this gunman on the loose and then he ended up finding some people down at the local beach letting off fireworks

so he came back to me and he was like, I think we found the problem and explained they were Guy Fawkes and we were all safe. And I said to him, oh, well, you know, what else would you have been doing on a Sunday morning other than eating donuts? And he just looked at me while I cracked up laughing,

thinking I was really funny. And he was just looking at me thinking, I'm sure, good grief. Oh, my God. Why did you say that to him? I can't believe you said something like that. I was just trying to keep it light-hearted. I don't know. Ha-ha, gunman.

You're the terrorist on the loose. Oh, brilliant. Nikki, thanks for your call. Patrick, when did you call 111 when you maybe shouldn't have? So we were back in university and there were six strapped young men in their early 20s living in a flat. So obviously big and strong and fearless. Do you need a moment, Megan?

No, she needs a moment until she realises what kind of condition that flat would have been in if there were six dudes in their early 20s. Yeah, you haven't heard the rest of the story yet, Megan. Okay. She needs a moment until she realises what kind of condition that flat would have been in if there were six dudes in their early 20s, it would have been a hanky. Yeah, you haven't heard the rest of the story yet, Megan. Okay. So we heard some rustling outside in the bushes and we thought, oh no, there's probably some prowler prowling outside in our lawn. So obviously all of us being as brave as we were started hiding below the windows

and just peeking over to see if we could see somebody but not wanting to go too close. And in the end, we called the police. They turned up at our front door and they looked around our property and said, is this trash always here? These big bags that you haven't put out on the road? And we kind of hung our heads and said, yeah, yeah, it is. And they said, look, look, the rustling's probably

just hedgehogs going through the trash. How messy was this flat? Yeah, no, she was pretty messy. Yeah, right. Oh, scared of a little hedgehog. I mean, rubbish does get picked up quite early in the morning. Too early for students. It's pretty hard to get it out there.

Yeah. I mean, the night before? Not with all those bloody killer hedgehogs hanging around. Patrick, thanks for your call. Some messages in. My friend, when we were young, dialed 111 from a phone booth across the road from his grandma's house. Okay.

And he said, there's a fire. You've got to come quick. And they said, what's the address? And he turned around and looked at his grandma's letterbox and read out his grandma's address. And then said, what's the address? And he turned around and looked at his grandma's letterbox and read out his grandma's address. And then three fire engines turned up, and he was just standing by the phone box, and they realized there's no fire, and they turned,

and this is a 10-year-old who's just like, uh-oh. And they were like, did you ring? He was like, that used to be like $1,500 or $1,200 a fire truck too. Very expensive. When I was a kid, there was a thunderstorm and mum ran out to get the outside umbrella down. Yeah. Oh, get the umbrella down.

Mummy went out, sorry, get the umbrella down. I called 111 and I said, my mum's outside and she's just been struck by lightning. She hadn't. But I thought it was best they were on their way because I was pretty sure it was going to happen She was touching the umbrella It's a conductor

My mum touching the umbrella please Help her please Someone said my son's school had a dress up day And all the boys came dressed as different Superheroes A young Spiderman got himself stuck at the top of the tree So the fire brigade they called one of the other kids, ran into the school office and called 111

and said Spider-Man stuck up a tree. And they had to come down with their long ladder to get him down. But then the cool part was the fireman that got him down actually made the kid believe he had rescued him. Oh, Michael, that's so wholesome. Yeah, I would have got my ass kicked so hard. ZM's Flesh Warner Megan. Play ZM.

So predicament yesterday, I thought I'd run this past you to see if you would have done the same thing. Sort of the moral north, aren't I? You are my moral compass. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You need a different one. It's skewed. You're a bung one. You're um... It's skewed. You're a bung GPS. It's next to a magnet.

Would that skew it? If it was next to a magnet? Yeah, it would. If it was an old school magnetic compass that faced magnetic north. Yeah, but Fletch is like a TomTom that never got updated and it's like turn left and then you turn left and it's a one way street and you're like, damn you TomTom. We did the

voice of TomTom. I know we did the voice of Tom Tom. Remember that way back? Yeah. Yeah. How annoying would that be? Oh, yeah, turn left in 100 metres. It was fun recording that. Yeah, I don't think.

They were like, oh, try not to do too many, like, jokey things, because often the things are repeated a lot, so the jokes will just get repeated. I'm like, you haven't listened to the show. And ignored their instructions and made like really annoying jokes about arriving at your destination every time

well here's my predicament it's not a huge moral predicament it was just a little thing that happened I was walking along and in front of me maybe um

10 metres ahead was a man carrying carrying like an arm full of like clothes babies no no like he had like a few carrying like an arm full of like clothes. Babies.

No. Like he had like a few, he had like new packs of socks. And I was like, oh, because that made me think I need to buy new socks. Yeah. Because I'm starting my toes poking out. Yeah. And he was carrying like some other, maybe a hoodie. And then the arm. Well, there's all new clothes.

Like he'd been on a bit of a haul. Well, no, I don't know. Because so the hoodie that he had, the arm was, and then the arm. Well, these are all new clothes, like he'd been on a bit of a haul. Well, no, I don't know, because, so the hoodie that he had, the arm was dangling down. Yeah. And I noticed something coming out of the, like, arm hole of the hoodie. And he was walking in front of me, and then, like, he's walking along, and I'm like, oh, okay.

And then it kept, like, coming out of the arm hole of the hoodie. It was in an arm. And I'm like, oh, this is going to like and i'm like oh this is gonna drop out penis why would that drop out no i'm walking behind him it's he's holding clothes and out of the armhole of the hoodie drops a pair of woman's underwear oh he's just in his laundry no because he had new pairs of socks yeah but he might have been like, while my clothes are in the dryer, I'll grab some new socks because the wash didn't work on them. No, I don't think he was.

So where did these woman's knickers come from? I don't know. So I'm walking behind this man and then in front of me is a pair of woman's underwear that have fallen out of his clothes that he's carrying. And at this point I'm like, do I say, excuse me, sir, you've dropped woman's underwear. No, don't judge him. You've like, do I say, excuse me, sir, you've dropped women's

underwear. No, don't judge him. You've dropped underwear. I know, and I wasn't going to judge him. If he wants to wear women's underwear because they're comfortable, absolutely all power to him. How do you know what gave them away that they were women's underwear? Were they lacy?

You could just tell, yeah, there was like lace on the top of them. Okay, okay. And I was like, eh. And then I was like- Hey, it's 2021. In that, you know, I'm not. Lacy knickers, you know. But then I'm just like, in the split second, I'm imagining this, like, if they're not his,

then I'm stopping him in the street and saying, sir, you've dropped some woman's underwear. And he might not even know whose they are. Or they are his, and then he's embarrassed. His handful of clothes, were they all crumpled? Was there more than a hoodie? Yeah, there was like a hoodie and the socks and a couple of other things, but it wasn't like a big armful. And these are definitely snuck out like...

That would be weird, like to go to the laundromat and not have anything to carry all your clothes. Yeah, well, it didn't seem to me like a laundromat thing. Do you know that there's a laundromat nearby where you were? No, I don't know. There's laundromats everywhere, though. Would you have stopped him to pick up the woman's undies, or would you have just left it?

Because I left it. I was like, ah, I don't want that awkwardness. You see, you stepped, then you stepped over the undies. To the side, so I took a berth. You gave them a wide berth. And there's a wide berth. Also, you know, like, I don't know where they've been. You don't know if they're clean.

But they did look, you know when you do washing and something goes into an arm? Yeah. Like your socks go into a pocket? Yeah, so I don't know. He might have been doing his girlfriend's, he might have done a load of washing. But I just didn't want to, not because they were women's undies, but just the whole, I don't know, talking to a stranger. Would you have said anything?

I don't know. I like to think I would, but in reality, I probably wouldn't. Maybe I should have said you've just dropped something, but then just been like, I don't know what it was, but you can obviously tell they're women's undies. Yeah. Didn't they whistle? The whistles are the great icebreaker.

Well, you know I can't whistle. I would have been like. Oh, yeah. Oi, oi. The whistles are the great icebreaker. Well, you know I cannot whistle. I would have been like... Oh, yeah. Oi! Oi! And then he turns around and he realises he's dropped his frilly knickers and he looks down and then he looks back at you and you're a few metres back going... I can't whistle.

I'm trying to whistle. And he's like... What's happening here? I'm very confused. It's not good, is it? It's not good. Around the same time. Yeah. Next on the show... So the und. It's not good, is it? It's not good. It's not good at the same time. Yeah.

Next on the show. So the undies are just still there, are they? Yeah, they're still there if you want some. I might go and have a look after work. Supermarket Wars. Well, it started. Countdown bricks are being listed on Trade Me. At an insane price.

200 unopened bags of Countdown bricks. Whoa! I know. That's someone who works at Countdown who's stealing it and ruining it for everybody else because soon it's going to have to be like checkout five, ding, supervisor please. Supervisor comes, how many bags? And they're going to have like a bum bag with bricks and they'll

tell it out like a dealer. And they've got two armed Chubb security guards next to them. Yeah. As things are heating up. Yeah. So that was listed for $350 for 200 bags. But you don't even know what you're getting, though. No, absolute mystery. You could get the same things. There's a complete countdown brick set and

trucks and base and car and customers. $200 currently. Well, at the time that this story was printed. Wow. There's the 40 full collection truck and cars and figurine and deluxe pack for $400. But this all looks to be like they're putting up photos of it unopened. Right.

Why are they getting it all unopened? That's wild, isn't it? Somebody's... Yeah. unopened. That's wild, isn't it? Somebody's, yeah. But you know that someone has got their little Timmy who's, you know, trying to collect this at home and then they can't get it

so mum and dad will just pay. Yeah. You're not teaching little Timmy anything. No. You need to give Timmy a half-finished countdown and just teach him a harsh life lesson.

And then hit some op shops and get Timmy to buy big bags of multicoloured Lego and his countdown can have bloody orange walls and a purple wall and a wall that should be one thick but it's too thick because they didn't have any one fix.

A couple of windowless countdowns. Timmy will be better for it. And then Timmy can swing in and smash the whole thing down and build an apartment block with 80 apartments instead and you can teach Timmy about high intensification housing and how an old supermarket spot is perfect for it. Well, so that's been going a week and these prices are already ridiculous on Trade Me.

Yesterday, New World and the Supermarket Wars launched their new collectibles. Yes, the KitchenAid collectibles. I imagine it was like New World said, do you want to race? And Countdown's like, yeah. And New World was like, go. So confident in the fact they watched Countdown

sprinting into the distance. And New World's just like, you all remember the knives, right? Okay. How long have they been going for? They got a week's head start. Watch this. I mean, we all remember the knife.

Yeah. The Countdown knives. Ridiculous. Which, by the way, resulted in many ACC claims this year. Huge amount. Huge amount. So this year, I think New World are trying to burn us. They've cut us?

Literally. Now they want to burn us. They've cut us? Literally. Now they want to burn us. With their new cookware. Yeah, stoneware. There's a couple of cast iron bad boys in there. It's a good brand, isn't it? KitchenAid. They do the flesh mixes.

Very expensive. Now, how do I, before I say this on the radio. I know. Is it a mini... The mini coquette? Or is it a hard CK? A mini coquette. A mini coquette. Coquette. It's it a hard CK? A mini coquette. A mini coquette.

Coquette. It's like an ordinary size one except it's small. Coquette. Dutch oven. It's a little mini Dutch oven. Oh my God, you can say it's a mini Dutch oven. You could put your favourite baked brie in it. So you need 20 stickers.

So you get a sticker for what? Every $20 or $30? Yeah. And then you've got to pay $20? No, or 10 stickers and $20. Or 10. Okay. Oh yeah. You can get it with 20 stickers. And then you've got to pay $20. No, or 10 stickers and $20. Or 10. Okay. There you go.

Oh, yeah. You can get it with 20 stickers. And they've got cast iron. They've got a casserole dish. It's all pretty fancy stuff. I'm just looking up the difference between a Dutch oven and a French. Well, one's Dutch and one's French. Yeah, pretty much.

That's the difference. Yeah. Right. Okay. Change your shape. Other than that, pretty much the same. Got a pie dish there. I watched a good long video while doing a poo yesterday.

Someone showed you how to do the perfect plaited pie top. Lattice? Lattice? Trellis, I think it's called. Yes. It looks like trellis. It's pastry trellis. It's pastry trellis.

You're doing a pastry trellis on top of your pie. And now I want to get the dish because it needed the crinkled edge to get the. Yeah, yes. It looks like trellis. It's pastry trellis. It's pastry trellis. You're doing a pastry trellis on top of your pie. And now I want to get the dish because it needed the crinkled edge to get the... Yeah, nice. Well, it's all on with the supermarket wars. I'm looking forward to seeing what happens here. I just feel like... Shit's gone down. Everything's going to go mad.

I'd just rather they all just made mints and stuff a bit cheaper. You know, like... Mints are so expensive. It's a mad world because avocados are amongst the cheapest things you can get at the supermarket at the moment. Yeah. You walk in and you're like, I can afford the avocados, but not the...

To make a nice posh taco, but not the mints. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day Today's fact of the day incorporates two of my favourite animals Yep I'd say both are top ten Sloth Both are top ten

Sloth's definitely in the top 10, but no sloth. No sloth today. Yeah, a hearthed eagle. Hearthed eagle. Wouldn't make the top 10 only because it's extinct. It's definitely my top five extinct creatures. What are your top five extinct creatures? I'd say hearthed eagle, dodo.

I'm fascinated by the dodo and the fact that they had like a stuffed dodo and then there was a museum fire. Yeah. They prioritized getting other things out of the museum fire and not the dodo. So there's like literally no proof that they ever existed. Right. A narwhal. That's my favorite.

Unicorn whale. Yeah, it's a unicorn whale. They are existing though. Are we back to existing creatures? Well, I mean, the two that are included in today's fact of the day Is the honey badger Huge fan of the honey badger Like they're bananas if you've not watched a documentary on a honey badger

In fact this cost me a lot of time yesterday Because I told my wife this fact of the day And my children overheard And they said what's a honey badger And then I had to show them a lot of honey badger YouTube footage It's about honey badgers and baby cheetahs And then you had to. And then I had to show them a lot of Honey Badger YouTube footage. It's about Honey Badgers and baby cheetahs. Baby cheetahs, when they are like newborn and they start growing fur,

down their back, from the top of their head down their back, they have a longer white fur. Yeah. And apparently it is an evolutionary defense because of all the big cats, they're the weakest when they're babies. Right. And they're also like their parents give them the most freedom. Right.

So they could, they prey could eat them. So they're not helicopter parents? They're not helicopter parents. They're speedy parents, but they're not helicopter parents. And apparently just the ones that survived Had longer white hair So it's a trait that grew and grew And apparently it's because

When they're babies With the white streak down their back They look so much like honey badgers That nobody messes with them Even honey badgers Why does no one mess with a honey badger? Because honey badgers don't give a shit Okay

I did not know that about the honey badger. Honey badgers are just the craziest animals in the world. They'll like walk up to a venomous snake that all other animals in Africa give like this wide berth to, and the snake will be like, honey badger's like, yum, hum, and just bite their heads off and then eat the rest of their body. If you've not watched... Oh, my God. Oh, yeah, here's a Nat Geo video. Honey badgers don't care about cobras.

Nah. They eat them. There's one of a honey badger ripping off a snake's head. That is so cute. Yeah, it's their favourite snack. And they look like they've got a mullet too because they're... I know. They look like they've been to the Rodney Wayne for a perfectly straight...

Yeah, fringe. ...dive. And then down into like a full-blown mullet. So apparently it's only the fact that these cheetah cubs look like honey badgers, especially like birds of prey and everything and they're flying above them. They just see this little creature running, looking like a honey badger from the top

and they're like, oh, we can't mess with him. Oh, that's one that's, I've watched the video. He's had a fight with the. A porcupine. It's just walking off with heaps of. Quills. Quills in it. Yeah, I've watched the video. He's had a fight with the – A porcupine. It's just walking off with heaps of – Quills. Quills in it. Yeah, I've watched that video too a few times.

That porcupine really gave it to him. Oh, honey badgers are great. Honey badgers are just out there doing it. But, yeah, if it wasn't for this fact that they've slowly like – obviously the cheetah cubs that have survived, meaning they pass those specific genes on to the next generation, have these white stripes effectively down the length of their body and they're about the same size as a honey badger when they're a cub.

They think they'd be far more picked off by predators. Is a honey badger pulling away a huge python? Yeah. Good Lord. These guys are great. Fearless honey badger takes on six lions. Yeah. They don't care.

They do whatever they want the arrogance you got the arrogance of a honey badger truly the highest praise one can expect on a tuesday uh so today's fact of the day is cheetah baby cheetahs uh look a little bit like honey badgers to things that would prey on them so much so that they just get completely left alone. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan. Congratulations to Taylor Lautner. He has announced his engagement to his girlfriend, Taylor Dome. Everyone calls her Tay.

So now she's Tay Lautner or Taylor Lautner. And she's married to Taylor Lautner. No, they're engaged. But she will be. Yeah. Well, I mean, she doesn't have to take his name. But if she did, she'd also be Taylor Lautner. Right.

Mr. and Mrs. Taylor Lautner, officially. Taylor and Taylor. Taylor and Taylor, yeah. Not the first time he's dated a Taylor, though. He was with Taylor Swift. Would it be, if you were, like, if you were into dudes, Vaughn. Okay. Hypothetical here.

Could you go out with another Vaughn? Would that be weird? Yeah, I don't care. A hot dude's a hot dude, as we say in the dude business. Sure. Hypothetically, yeah. But, like, in a relationship, very rarely do you use their name to them. Like, you call them, like, babe or...

You come up with, like, honey buns or... Hey or... Hey. Oi. Oi. Yeah, and there's not really a female I'm in this Siobhan Oh yeah right

Vaughan and Siobhan Siobhan and Vaughan That could go That would be cool Is that literally like She Vaughan The She Vaughan Yeah the She Vaughan

The She Vaughan Yeah Yeah But you know In the interest of equality I'd probably rename myself He-Shavon Right okay

To say that I'm actually The male version of Or Harvorn Shavon Harvorn Harvorn His Yeah

Hevon Or we could just Yeah just Quite confusing Yeah Yeah but Shavon Would be the closest Carla Fletcher Is also your drag name As I recall Quite confusing. Yeah. Yeah, but Siobhan would be the closest.

Carla Fletcher is also your drag name. Yeah, it is. Yeah, it is. But, yeah, I mean, your Alex's is in your Alex's. Would there be, like, Sam, Sam and Sam. Sam and Sam. Like, there'd be Guy Sam's. Sam and Sam Samson. What about, like, a Morgan, Morgan Megan?

Oh, yeah. But Morgan's also a name of who dudes call Morgan and girls call Morgan. Yeah. I was meaning dudes. Morgan and Morgan Corgan. Yeah, you can marry Sam Morgan and be Morgan Morgan. Megan Morgan. Megan Morgan.

Megan Morgan. Megan Morgan. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I want to take some calls now. Oh, 800 dials at M. Text in as well.

How similar is your name to your partner's name? Like the Taylor-Lautner, Taylor-Lautner. Taylor and Taylor. Taylor and Taylor marrying each other. Is there anybody listening or does anybody know anyone? The names are very similar. Even the last name combos. Rhyming.

Rhyming? Are we taking rhyming? Yes. That would be funny last name combos were rhyming. Are we taking rhyming? Yes. That would be funny. Except rhyming. Yeah. Like what? Kelly and Smelly.

No. Fran and Stan. Fran and Stan. Fran and Stan Pan. This seems like a stretch. Pam and Dan. Oh, that seems closer. Pam and Dan. Oh, that seems closer. Pam and Dan, yeah.

All right, well, I just want to say, I don't know, maybe is this an impossible phoner? No. You don't reckon? No, there's so many text messages already. Oh, yes. All right, well, let's open up the lines. 0800 DALS at M.

Give us a call. You can text as well. 9696. How similar is your name to your partner? Taylor Lautner has announced his engagement to his girlfriend Tay. There'll be lots of women in their late 20s now. Or how long ago was Twilight? It doesn't matter. More than that, eh?

There'll be lots of people like they're heartbroken. Oh, lots of responses being like no, instead of congratulations. Tay is his girlfriend but obviously Taylor, Taylor Dome. So they'll both be Taylor Lautner. So we want to know how similar your name is to your partner's.

So many messages and calls. Jack, how similar? My mum and dad are Anne and Dan. Anne and Dan! Yes! That is so good. Yeah, it's quite a funny family. Mum and dad are Anne and Dan and then I'm Jack.

Just cheap on letters. Yeah, yeah, it is. It's quite fun. Jack, thanks. You call some messages in. My ex-sister-in-law is Harriet Harrison. Hi, the husband better have been called Harry. Yeah.

Or something. My auntie and uncle were both Daryl. They both had Daryl as their first name. Oh, yeah, like Daryl Hannah. Yeah. It were both Daryl. They both had Daryl as their first name. Oh, yeah, like Daryl Hannah. Yeah. That's cool. It was a bit of an 80s female name, wasn't it? My partner and I are Jace and Trace.

Jace and Trace. Jace and Trace. Is that the most? Yeah, better grab a box of bloody bourbon on the way. You know, Jace and Trace, they get through them. That's the most Kiwi couple name. I reckon if you ran a poll, that would be the most absolute Kiwi name. My partner's name is Brooke and my last name is Cook.

She's not keen on taking my last name, but I've told her she's a deal breaker if she doesn't become Brooke Cook. Do it. My dad had a cousin called Lachlan McLachlan. That's the dog that lives down at Donaldson's Dairy. Yeah, it is. I think. My mum's name, I've got a Jackie and a Jack as a mum and a dad.

Oh, yeah. My mum are Kate and Nate. Oh, that's pretty cute. So many rhyming ones. Taking your calls and text messages now about names that are very similar to your partners. Taylor Lautner. Heartthrob is now off the market. He's engaged.

To his girlfriend, Taylor. So if they marry, if this goes through, they'll be both Taylor Lautner. Hearts Rubber's now off the market. He's engaged. To his girlfriend, Taylor. So if they marry, if this goes through, they'll be both Taylor Lautner. Yeah, Taylor and Taylor Lautner. If she takes his name. So we want to know those names, the coupled up names. It could be they rhyme. They're the same name.

They're very similar. This message in, I know a lady called Beverly who was engaged to a guy whose last name was Cleverly. No. They broke up before they got married, which was a blessing. She was going to take his name. Beverly Cleverley. Although, like, my mum's Bev.

Just go with Bev. Bev Cleverley. Bev. Yeah, you would. But every time you had to write it out in full, you had to write Beverly Cleverley. Rebecca, similar name to your partner's? Oh, it's not me. It's friends of ours who are called Rex and Bex.

Rex and Bex? Yeah! I love that. I love that. Wow. So Bex is short for Rebecca. Is Rex short for Bereka? T-Rex, Rex and Max, Max and Max.

Yeah. I love it. Gina, thanks for your call. Cheryl and Errol are our family friends. That's good. My name is Grzegorzina, and my husband's name is Grzegorz. We're from Hungary. So basically it's Christina and Christian.

Oh, yeah. Very similar. My friend is named Tracy, and she married a Casey. Tracy and Casey. We call them the Aces. When they had kids, we kept trying to come up with names for them so they'd all have rhyming names. Macy. They weren't so keen. You could have Macy, Casey.

Tracy, Macy. Stacey. Our school canteen lunch lady was Carol Carol. I know two Paul and Paulers. My parents are Baz and Kaz. Robin and Robin. Oh no! That Robin and Robin and no That Robin and Robin

And their surname's Robin No that's not It's got to be said Wildly different Robert and Roberta We call them Bob and Bobby And their number plate Is two Bobs

That's great That's cool My auntie is a Bennett And she married her husband From a different Bennett family Oh yeah So it was just a cheap name change. She just kept it.

I'd be running an ancestry.com on that just to make sure it wasn't. My parents are Bazza and Shazza. I know a Gail McRaele. We're both Jordans. Oh, okay. Yeah, but one of us, we decided one of us would go with Geordie and the other one would just be Jordan. Jordan and Jordan, okay.

Kate and Nate and my mum and dad, so many text messages in. My cousin's surname is Kelly and he's married a girl whose first name is Kelly. She kept her maiden name. It was a little bit of a controversial move at the time. Yeah. Casey and Stacey, a couple of friends of mine who are dating. I have a friend named Jade who married a Jade and they called their baby Jade. Jade, Jade, Jade.

Jade, Jade and Jade. That's so confusing. Yeah. Very confusing. Which Jade you want? Dan and Anne. Paul and Paul and more Paul and Paulers. I know a Kelly and a Kelly who are married.

Like Meg and Greg. I love the rhyming ones. paula's i know a kelly and a kelly who were married so like meg and greg i love the rhyming ones oh my grandparents names were gay and liz never thought about it at the time that was just nana gay and papa liz and then when you get a bit older you're like ha i see what happened there uh my sister gina also has a girlfriend called Gina. Oh, right. Okay. Must be quite fond of the Gina's. They both love the Gina. They both love Gina. What about the one that was Richard

Willie, what was that one? Richard William Cox. So everyone called him Dick Willie Cox. That wasn't a great... Yeah, they didn't think that through, did they? Or it might have been a different time Someone said oh my god Our school canteen lady was Carol Carol 2

It's got to be the same lady Impossible There won't be too many Carol Carols running about There won't be too many Dougal McDougal That's great this has been very entertaining Thank you listeners for sharing My father's name is Peter Pye

And he begged my mum to call me Peter Pye Jr., but Peter as in Peter Matthias. Oh, right. So female Peter. P-P-J. And now there's Peter Pits, so you just... Yeah, people will be constantly saying that. They're saying,

why don't you put some letters to me? Nolan O'Leans. My sisters married Nigels, so now there's always like Nigels and Nigels everywhere at Christmas. Yeah. Oh, somebody else said Carol Carroll. Yep, we remember her. Whanganui High School.

Shout out. Oh, fantastic. I don't know if she's still there or not, but she's probably served up a lasagna topper or two in her time.