ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 17th August 2020

Episode Date: August 17, 2020

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Hello and welcome to the Fletchmore and Megan podcast. It's brought to you by McCafe. Grab yourself a delicious barista made coffee for only $4. $4? $4. $4, correct. Indeed. $4. Right, welcome to the podcast. Another week of COVID times. Yep.

I see the UK's cases are spiking. Oh, really? Yeah. After those pictures of Brits crowding beaches and stuff, their numbers have started to go back up. I think America's just given up at this point. Yeah, they actually have. They're just going to see what happens.

But that could be us, though, with the pictures of Mission Bay at the weekend just packed. Yeah. But the weather's so nice You alright? What are you choking up? I did the dramatic swallow And I always choked on it That was tough

Yeah Yeah I don't know COVID chat eh? COVID COVID small talk Is the absolute shittest. Like, it's below weather small talk, isn't it? You can't even say this is a new norm or what's the other one?

Unprecedented times. It's unprecedented now. We've been here before. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think conspiracy theorists have small talk? Because they always just seem to be, be like going hard on something. Something's always like the enemy.

Draconian laws. I'd just be like, oh, it's so flat today. The earth. That's what I'd say to you. If I ran into you on the street. I'd be like, oh, was it? Because do you know on the way I went over a hill and for a moment. No, but that's what they say. Yeah, I know.

I'm not a fucking idiot. I know I'm not a fucking moron that just believes there's this spherical earth chat, but I just went over that hill, you know, and for a moment I was like, oh, oh, it's a hill. It kind of goes against the flat part of it, doesn't it? We'll stick to it. Or do you know what I was thinking on the way in? What's that? Jacinda Ardern, at the weekend, it looked like her human mask was slipping off.

We almost saw the lizard person inside. In fact, she wasn't at any of the conferences over the weekend. She was probably feeding on small babies. She was lying on a hot rock to aid her digestion because that's what lizards have to do. And drinking the blood of young babies Just to be youthful For want of a better word that's my favourite conspiracy at the moment

Because what the fuck Celebrities are lizard people And like feeding on Like young babies Under a pizza shop Like choose a hygienic place If you're going to bleed babies to drink right Yeah

Please do it in a Council sanctified kitchen Like, choose a hygienic place if you're going to bleed babies to drink, right? Yeah. Like, do it in a... Yeah, please do it in a council-sanctified kitchen. A sterilized area. Yeah. Yeah. You know. Like a clean... What a crummy fucking pizza place.

Yeah, they've got money. They'd make a... Yeah. Facility. Yeah. I'm surprised with all these people involved how it hasn't got out. Well, no, that's because they've got money and resources to keep it locked up. Oh, right.

Okay. You would say that because you're the media. You're involved. Shut your mouth. Yeah, it's a batshit crazy world. Isn't it? We all thought that stupidity was due to lack of information. Lack of access to information.

Well, it wasn't, so that was on us the whole time. Can we just shut down the internet for a little bit? I reckon turn it off for a bit. Turn it off. Not bad. Not a bad idea. Alright, well, enjoy the podcast which you get from the internet. I mean, maybe

we don't shut off podcasts. Well, then we won't have to do this. No, shut off the internet. FM broadcast will still work. Go to the radio. They'll be flooding back. Oh, I don't listen to the radio. Too many ads.

I listen to Spotify. Well, guess what? The internet's been turned off, motherfucker. FM, bitch. That's what I'll say. You can't come back. No, you can't come back. Really make them want it.

No. Enjoy the podcast brought to you by the internet or Anmic Cafe officially, actually. ZM. Hit music. Lives here. Fleece, Fawn and Megan. The podcast. Welcome to the show.

Fleece, Fawn and, Vaughan and Megan. Three minutes past six. Happy alert level three dash two. I'm more of a alert level two slash three. Oh yeah, I should have said slash. And I would put two first, although I can see why you put three first because it's the more dire of the two on the scale. It was very confronting watching friends out of Auckland having a, you know.

I saw people having like a group catch up and I was like, hey! And then they're in Christchurch. Yeah, I know. And it was like a small group. But then it was also confronting watching the news of Aucklanders also gathering at the beaches. Well, Anne, you just heard Mayor Phil Goff say day trips to Waiheke. Oh, my God.

That's interesting. Also, coming up on the show, we want to talk about somebody that went a little bit further than a day trip to Waiheke. Yeah. The top six as well dealing with COVID. Yeah, there is an announcement today at about 10am apparently that the election may be delayed.

It may not be delayed. There might be a new date floated around. That's a decision we're expecting today. I've got the top six dates that don't suit me for a new election.

Well, I mean, you went to school with the Prime Minister. You could just message. I'll be in her ear, mate. I'm in her ear on lots of issues. I mean, you're pretty much a new election. Well, I mean, you went to school with the Prime Minister, you could just message. I'll be in her ear, mate. I'm in her ear on lots of issues. I mean, pretty much

a political advisor. I like to think of myself as an amateur. A hobbyist. A hobbyist political advisor. As she calls you an annoying constituent. Yeah.

Someone who, I believe she calls me someone who I wish didn't have my number. Yeah. Fleshforn and Megan, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM.

We were all just talking before about, well, Megan was saying and executive intern Anya was saying that when they bought lotto tickets at the weekend and didn't win, they had a big sock. Because they never buy lotto tickets. Yeah. So they had a big sock. They don't win anything. Like not even a free ticket.

But then what about going to the casino? You just don't, right? Like $20 will go and I'll just pack a sock and be like, oh. I'm the same. Yeah. I'm not a good gambler. No. Because the money's gone nowhere.

I'd rather buy something. You can make it last by going one line, one bet or whatever, and your $20 will last all night. But then if you get a bonus wheel, you don't get any good, you've got to go all in. It's balls to the wall on those. That's why I'll go through 20 bucks like that and I'll be like, right, I'm seven.

Nope, bye. So it might, and that's, I don't think anyone here's really got an addictive personality. But someone was so keen to hit the casino, and of course it's shut at the moment because... In Auckland it is. In Auckland it's level three,

that they hit State Highway 1 and went to Hamilton. And on Thursday night, Sky City Hamilton... Wait, how did they get past the rigorous police checkpoint? I don't know. Say they lived in Hamilton or something. They must have said they were going home to Hamilton. Unless they were essential workers at the weekend. They might have just said, oh, we just worked there, but we lived there.

Grab the plumbing van. Boom. Take the van. Take the work van. Or the ute. But anyway, I don't know. That's a very good question, how they got through. But it was because at the moment in level two,

the gaming floors at the Hamilton Casino are sort of like separated and only a maximum amount of patrons can go in. But you can still go. Yes. Right, okay. But it's, you know, they're more thorough with their checks and that's when they checked. And these guys weren't members of the local casino.

They had Auckland ones and they worked out. They'd pop down from Auckland for a fritter. Flitter? Yeah, a fritter. Flitter? Yeah, a fritter is something you eat, isn't it? That's a fritter, a delicious fritter.

A flutter. Flutter. Flutter. It's a flutter. Look, we knew it had two Ts and it started with an F. We got there.

We got there. They were so keen for a flutter they drove down here Thursday night. A Thursday night. Wow. 300k round trip. Did they win? I think they got kicked out before they night. A Thursday night. Wow. 300K round trip.

Did they win? I think they got kicked out before they could. Oh, right. God. That is madness. That's not how we're going to do that. Get out of level three. That's not how that works, is it?

No. It's like people who are like, oh, no, if it's going to lockdown, I'm skirting off to the beach. Do you know that everybody you haven't been in contact with over the last three weeks is COVID-free? I'd have no idea, but I'm off to Whangamata, so. Good luck, old people. I'll be dragging this virus down there with me, should I do have it.

It's not like they have a bloody QR code at the beach either. You just scan that. Whangamata's got a QR code. Imagine if they didn't. You just got to scan that. Whangamata has got a QR code. No, imagine if they didn't. You just had to hang your hand out the window and scan the welcome to Whangamata sign. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A, it's described as a beef restaurant in China.

Has apologised. There is a campaign. It is called the Clean Plate Campaign. It's supposed to reduce food wastage in China. So in getting behind this, this beef restaurant decided that they would put two scales at the entrance to the restaurant. And then they were asking customers to enter their measurements in an app. So obviously jump on the scales. Right.

Yeah. I don't know what other measurements they were asking for. And then the app would suggest menu items according to their measurements and their weight. Like their BMI or something. Yeah. So I guess they were like,

the bigger you are, the more you can eat. And so there's less. Oh, I don't know if that's true because what about that, who's that girl? Absolutely not true. Who's that girl, that New Zealand girl that demolishes all the nuggets and all the food?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The hot dogs. Absolutely shame. She's teeny weeny. Yeah, but she's got worms. But yeah, no, that's absolutely not true. But they've obviously worn it. People on social media came for the restaurant and they've apologised and said,

our original intentions were to advocate stopping waste and ordering food in a healthy way. We never forced customers to weigh themselves. So it was out, the scales were outside and it was a suggestion. So it would have been like, ha ha, that's an interesting marketing gimmick, but this is China, so. Yeah. If they would have been trying to please the government, I don't think they were allowed to do marketing. Well, that's the thing.

Also, it'd be bad for your social rating too, wouldn't it? In China, if you'd left a little sweet and sour on your plate. Lick it clean. Yeah. And then what? Do you get in trouble if you leave stuff on your plate? I've just never seen, in my experience

with my wife's family, I've never seen an Asian leave a plate anything other than absolutely clean. Her mama was so that's her grandma. The tiniest little lady. Frail and old. Crikey

dick. I've never seen her. She could eat, mate. She could eat you under the table? She ate more than me when we were in Thailand and we went out. And I would have weighed three times what she weighed, I reckon. She was tiny. And she just wolfed. Wow. Was she just saving up all her eating for one meal?

Maybe, maybe. No, because you do that and your stomach shrinks. Yeah, yeah. It was just constant. It was just like, yeah, it was insane. I remember going to Oktoberfest and there was these tiny German girls just like hoeing down on pork knuckles. Yes.

And I was like, and like huge signs of beer and you're just like, where is that? Where is that going? Tiny. They know how to shit, huh? It's got to be it. It's got to be it. It's got to be it. Wow.

They're just like, their body's just like. Yeah, right. Yeah. I'd put a bit of TP down beforehand if I were you, love. This thing's shit. You remember that Stein and 18 pork knuckles? Guten tag. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM.

Well, some bad news if you've got some Jetstar flights. After Tuesday, Jetstar have announced that they are suspending their New Zealand domestic flights until Wednesday the 26th of August, which is when we're meant to come out of level two slash three or three. Right. So, three. Right. So, yeah, poos. And that's the official aviation term. Ah, poos.

Yeah. So if you have a flight before Tuesday, obviously you can still take it. Otherwise, if you don't need to use it, they're asking you to manage your booking and change that to maybe another date. And if you have flights between after that Tuesday midnight and Wednesday the 26th of August, those would...

Tough luck. Well, yeah, you're just going to have to get in touch with Jetstar and then, I guess, use that credit to... I think OPUs. OPUs, yeah. That's the thing. Do we even book holidays? Do you book a weekend away for November or October?

Who knows? I think... Yeah. I think you can. I think, you know, there might be another blip, but, God, you can't live just being like... When's the next blip? Yeah, exactly. Live in fear of be another blip, but God, you can't live just being like. When's the next blip? Yeah, exactly.

Live in fear of the next blip. We follow the rules. Yeah. We do what we're supposed to do, and there won't be another blip. Because I had a friend from Crush, which meant to come up this week, and they're just using their credit, I think, again for the second or third time. Like, it's just crazy. So then that'll go into credit again.

And then I guess just use it next time when there's hopefully not a blip. Well, we can't be in a blip for ever. No, exactly. Has anyone found out how to, you know, if you keep getting a credit return, there must be a way of making it into more credit. I think if you put it on red or black,

that would help. Who would that be? If the airline was like, okay, guys, we owe you a lot of credit. We're opening an in-house online gambling, and you get to use your credit, so you could earn more credit, but you won't. But it's like, people would be like,

I could win, and then that's how casinos work. Yeah, and that's how casinos work. Yeah. And that's how the airlines get back on their feet. Yes. Essentially become a casino with your airline credit. Boom. Seriously, Air New Zealand, I am like available for these sorts of ideas. Let's talk.

Let's be right. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Well, today, has it already happened or is it happening today, Executive Intern Anya? We lose it today. It's the end of an era today. Are you sure? No, I'm not.

I'm really not. I haven't slept a wink. It's level three. I just think maybe you should just stop and think about this. I know. Now, for long-time listeners of the show, you'll know that we have given Executive Intern Anya a lot of grief over the years about her stand-up paddleboard, her SUP, which she purchased how long ago?

Three years ago. Oh, my gosh. Now, it became a very expensive shelf in the garage. How many times have you used the sup? Twice. In three years. I saw somebody supping at the weekend. It was a beautiful day for it.

I saw somebody I didn't expect to sup on social, and they took a photo of themselves with a drone from the SUP. Oh, that's pretty cool. What I want to know is, did the drone take off before the SUP left the shore or did the drone make a mid-sea SUP take off? Oh, I don't know. I'll have to ask them. By the way, the drone

angle didn't make SUPing look any cooler. It looked nerdier from a better angle. Right. And of course, it's very boring, isn't it? Because you get out there and you're just like, well, what do I do now? It's sedate. It's calming, you know?

Which is why you went so many times. Which is why I'm addicted to it. So I've sold it. As you know, me and the boyfriend are saving for a house at the moment. We crunched some numbers yesterday morning and turns out we are many, many dollars away from what we need. Because you've been going away when it wasn't long ago

and you're going away for mystery bloody weekends every second weekend. Have you also had this lecture as well from mum and dad? Yes we have. So now I'm selling pretty much everything I own. I'm giving mum a 10 minute foot rub tonight for $10. Oh my god.

We are full commitment now. So the $300 that I have got for the sup is going to go straight into the house deposit. Someone is giving you $300 for that. Yes. How much did you buy it for? Because you bought it second hand too, eh? Yeah, I think it was either $450 or $500. That's alright.

That's pretty good. Gosh, she's got her use out of it. And marketplace. And marketplace, because you won't have to pay the trade me commish. Exactly. But then, should you be trading, selling things in level three? Well, we're doing a contactless pickup, so the money's been transferred, and I'm going to leave it on the driveway and say,

ha ha, you're a problem now. Stay inside the house. Put a little bottle of hand sanitiser next to it. Yeah. Yeah. Give her a bit of spray and wipe. Have you got a barcode? You have to put your barcode up. A QR code. Oh, crikey. Because they've been to your house.

Oh, God. Sup store. Anya's sup store. Yeah. I'm bringing back a level three contactless garage sale. Right. You didn't even think about it until we just said, right? Someone is reporting you straight up to the COVID hotline.

See you in prison. Oh, man. I'll come and see you in prison. I'm not going to be in prison. Prisons rent free, though. You'll save a lot of money. This is the attitude. But you won't have a job to save.

Can I give the other inmates foot rubs for $10? Oh. You can give them foot rubs, but you won't be paid in $10. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. The top six is next on the show. Yeah, I sure hope my computer software update installs before then. Warren Smith.

No, I did that one last night at home. That's a good 45 minutes to 30 minutes. I didn't even know there was one. My computer just started running real slow, so I finished it top six. I said, I've got five minutes up my sleeve. I'll reboot my computer. Why didn't you just email it to me or something?

I saved it as a Word document on my desktop. I didn't know that I had a software update. You're in so much trouble. Here's a pen. I'm running around again. Here's a pen. Start writing. No, I'm not using that pen.

Ben chewed on it. Brian Clint's producer, Ben, chews on every effing pen that puts it, that dare show its face in the studio. He can't chew on pens in a pandemic. No, this one's fine. Look at the end of it. Oh, no, yeah, you're right.

That's been chewed. It has been ravished. What about this one? This one will be fine. No, that was wet to the touch. You can't. I don't know. I'm getting an estimated time remaining. My computer's just thinking about how long it's going to take. So that's not a good sign.

It's gone black. I don't know if it's restarting again or if it's finished. Yes. No. Oh, no. It started again. Oh, but the bar's moving quickly. Could this be it?

Could Smith have his computer back, meaning he doesn't have to do more work for work that he's already done? The top six is next. The top six dates that do not suit me for a general election. All right, the Prime Minister announcing at 10am this morning. When the election will be? We should play two songs here. Give my computer a bit more time.

ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. From the ZM think tank, this is the top six. We were just reminiscing about the days of pre-autosave. Remember when you had to physically click the save

button on a word processor? Yep, or you just save. Constantly be going control S. Yep. Those were the days. Now it autosaves. Kids got no idea. Look at that.

Living in a world full of pandemic. They don't know. They don't know. Look at that. Yeah, more stress than any other generation before them. They don't know. Look at that. Yeah, more stressed than any other generation before them. They don't know how lucky they are. Complicated life due to, you know, ever-changing world.

These kids, they don't know how lucky they are. Well, the Prime Minister has said that at 10am this morning, she'll be announcing if the election date will be changing. Yeah. And if so, what that is. Now, you wrote the top six and then you updated your computer foolishly. And I was right, wasn't I? That's why I was doing that long drawn out kids don't know how lucky they are ironic thing because I was hoping my computer is right on the last bit of restarting.

Right. But it almost feels like it's been sitting here. You said two minutes ago, 34 minutes left to update. I know. If you were going to update, you could have at least emailed one of us with your top six. I minutes left to update. I know. If you were going to update, you could have at least emailed one of us with your top set. I wasn't to know. I just thought I was restarting and it restarted into an update.

Anyway, I've handwritten them. Won't be as good. Hold on, bitch. I'm back. That wasn't particularly at anybody. Now, let's see if I can remember my password because I never log off this thing. Oh, my God.

We'll all just wait. Smith's out the gate. I'm just going to wait for the log on. I don't know how long this is going to take. Here we go. Hold on. Analytics. Do I want to share my Mac analytics with Apple?

No. I don't look at porn on this computer. That always changes my idea. I don't want Apple knowing that nasty shit I'm into, yo. That no's already born. Share crash data with app developers. Oh, come on. Give them both.

Just start with your written top six. No, because it's different. The written top six is different. Setting up my Mac. Setting up. Tick, tick, tick. You're going to get so told off. Setting up.

Setting up. After this. Guess who's back in their Mac? Okay. It's this guy. Okay, now words just got to open. Stay with me. This is the last hurdle, ladies and gentlemen.

Here we go. The top six dates that don't suit me for a general election. It's exactly the same as the one I wrote down. No, it's a bit different It's a bit different But I like that one better actually Just read one of them Top six dates that don't suit me for a general election Number six

November 13th That's my wedding anniversary I'm going to be busy Yuck, what doing? Probably eating I'm going to be busy yuck what doing probably eating yeah okay I'd say the day's probably going to be

made up of mostly eating a lot of eating and then being too full to make love to celebrate this momentous decade that's the reason I'm still keen

she'll be like I'm full number five on the list of the top six dates that don't suit me for a general election. November 14th, Diwali. Oh, okay. Yeah. Diwali? Diwali.

Do I V the W? No. Diwali, Diwali? Diwali. I plan on, again, eating. Yeah. And watching fireworks. Or hearing fireworks

in the distance and shitting myself and like, it's not Guy Fawkes! And then go on your local page, what's going on? Someone's like,

it's Diwali. You're like, of course it is. Number four on the list of the top six states that don't suit me for a general election, Friday the 23rd of October.

Why not then? Hawke's Bay anniversary. What are you going to be doing? Celebrating that wonderful region of New Zealand. Okay. Famous for its wine. Art Deco. What?

Is that what, was that what they call it? Why'd they do all the buildings the same like that? Deco. Deco. Deco. Art Deco. Art Deco. What did I say?

Deco. Deco. It's Art Deco, isn't it? Yeah. Deco. No, that was that old 1980s department store. Come on, down to Deco. I think.

Since they bypassed Huntley, there's no actual way of ever telling what that store was called. Number three on the list of the top six states that don't suit me for a general election, November 5th. Why not? Guy Fawkes. Oh, yeah, okay. History tells us that they were actually trying to blow up Parliament. Yeah, so you've got to...

You don't want that or a suspicious date, do you? Number two on the list of the top six states that don't suit me for a general election. December 25th. Why? I don't know, it just doesn't feel right, does it? Sound. Imagine that. Christmas Day polling. Yeah. 25th. Why? I don't know, it just doesn't feel right, does it? Imagine that. Christmas Day polling. Yeah.

Would there be anything more that would stress mum out than having to vote and also get Christmas dinner ready? Well, the roast, the potatoes are almost done, you better go to it now. Go, go, quick, run on down, then you get down there and you're having an argument and Nan's like, I'm voting Act. He's, he talks sense're having an argument. Nan's like, I'm voting act.

He talks sense. He talks sense. You're like, come on, Nan. He wants to euthanise you. She's like, good, I want a way out of next Christmas. Okay, I'll give you that. Yeah, I'll give you that. Number one on the list of the top six dates that don't suit me for a general election, December 11.

Why not then? World Mountain Day. Okay. So you're going to be celebrating your monger. Yes, 2003. The United Nations General Assembly designated December the 11th as International Mountain Day. Okay.

I don't know. Were they not getting enough love? Yeah, they weren't because they're a very important aspect to life itself because you can climb up one and then take a selfie of you up it with the mount in the background and be like, just doing my fitness, babe. Cool. Can't wait for a Copenhagen code.

That's today's top six. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. And there are new millionaires sprinkled around the country. Ten of them. Hmm. $50 million Powerball prize split between ten people.

I'm so glad it was split. Like, because we don't need someone to have $50 million. It would be because it wasn't first division. It was second division with the Powerball. Oh, okay.

And there were ten winners of first division. So they get $100,000 each. But none of them got the Powerball. If one of them had got the Powerball, that would have been it. And how insane was it that they sold so many online tickets that the system, the app couldn't handle it? Yeah. Like they couldn't even announce on Saturday night what the story was. It was like late afternoon it. Yeah. Like they couldn't even announce on Saturday night. What the story was. What the story was.

It was like mid, it was like late afternoon yesterday. Yeah. Crazy. These are the. Also, if you're old school and actually like circling the numbers on your ticket. I do that. Which I'm imagining. Because it's still new for me.

People would have been doing because the app and everything was down. Yeah. People would have been checking it. If you got first division, you would have been like, oh, well everything was down. Yeah. People would have been checking it. If you got first division, you would have been like, oh, well, at least that's the money. And then learning

that second division with the Powerball actually won. Yeah. Way more than you. And apparently it was the most tickets they'd ever sold online.

And I guess lockdown would help that. Yeah. Even though lotto stores were still open. Six of the 10 were my lotto. Five of them from Auckland, one of them from Tauranga.

Six of the 10 that got five million each. Right. Lincoln Heights Super 8 in Auckland was a store that sold it. Andrew Spence Pharmacy in Napier. Melody's New World in Palmerston North. Not happy to just be called New World. Melody had to put her name in front. Someone say that slightly narciss World. Melody had to put her name in front. Some would say that's slightly narcissistic.

Melody. Everybody else is happy to just be called New World. What about the guy, Kevin, that owns a New World? He can't be Kevin. Kevin doesn't care. Melody's proud of her New World. He's happy with just being a New World franchisee. Yeah, right.

He doesn't need to rub it in everybody's faces by putting his name in there. And Collingwood Food Centre in Invercargill. I just looked at that list and was like, Not me, not me, not me. Not me, not me. Because I won a bonus ticket. I was like, well, great.

I've got a bonus ticket for the lotto draw with a million dollars. Cool. A measly million. And then had a sulk. So a friend of mine was saying that they overheard in a store $1500 Cool A measly million And then had a sulk So I don't A friend of mine Was saying that They overheard in a store

Somebody buying $1500 worth of tickets What store? I don't know It would have been It wasn't one of these ones It would have been in Auckland Right

Like think of the odds Of what Like that is so much money You'd be better That's crazy And I hate gambling But you'd be better To go to the casino, right? With that $1,500 and chuck it on a 50-50 shot or something.

Or save it. Or save it. Yeah, put it in your savings. Spend it on your groceries, your living, a holiday. It's such a waste. I know. I don't get it. I'd love to see some actual stats from Lotto.

Well, what kind of stats? What are you after? Do we know how many even tickets were sold? No. Even if you took the average ticket price, it would just be so much money. Yeah. All I know is that it was more tickets sold on my Lotto than ever before.

Right, okay. And that's why it caused the app and the website. All I know is that it was more tickets sold on my lotto than ever before. Right. Okay. And that's why it caused the app and the website. I want to know how much cash they took last week. Yeah. Just insane amounts. Because it had to be one at 50 million. Yeah. It was already at 50 million.

Did they get 50 million just over the week alone? Surely. Probably came close. Probably came close. Well, I want my money back because I didn't get anything. Megan, this is how lotto works, okay? Just write your name on the back of the ticket and send it to them with your bank thing and they'll just put the money back in your account.

Do they? That's how it works. Oh, no. That's how lotto works. If you don't win, you can just ask your money back. What a refund. Yeah. A lotto refund.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Megan's mailbox. Megan's mailbox. When she moved in, she ran it down. So Fletch and Vaughan are helping to get her a new mailbox. She specifically asked for this segment not to be called Megan's Box. Still putting that in at the end. That's lovely. That's the theme song.

And it seems like forever ago you moved into your new house. Yeah, it's only been a week and a bit. And then you were lucky to move just before level three. I know, I know. So lucky. And then that happened and you reversed over your mailbox when you moved in and we were meant to be bringing you some mailbox options. Honestly, I thought that was the worst thing that could happen last week.

Well, we had these. If there's one thing 2020 tells us, it's never say, God, it's not going to get any worse than this. 2020 will be like, what did you just say? Yeah. What did you say to me? So we have these mailboxes ready. We thought, well, we might as well keep going.

Yeah. There's no point letting COVID keep us down. Put a smile on that face of yours. All right, so it's under the... How do you want to do this unveiling? I don't want to get into personal space. Do you want me to just rip it off? I prefer to...

Yeah, whip it off, but be careful. Oh, it's a fragile. It's not connected to the post. The podium that it sits on is the same podium as the last. So why don't you go over to that mic and then rip that off and then tell us what you think of your new mailbox. Rip it off, but gently. Yeah.

Okay. Ta-da! Ta-da! I said da-da. Is it ta-da or isn't it? I meant ta-da. I should have said ta-da. Ta-da. Ta-da. Ta-da. Ta-da. I said da-da. Is it ta-da or isn't it? I meant ta-da. I should have said ta-da. Ta-da.

Ta-da. Ta-da. Ta-da. I don't know if I want to touch that. That is a microwave. That's nasty. That's beautiful. And look how much room for mail.

It's still got the plate in there. It's intact. Yeah. Beautiful. There's some rust in it. Where did you even get that from? Someone's intact. Yeah. Beautiful. There's some rust in it. Where did you even get that from? Someone's garden.

Yeah. A student flat garden. I didn't ask too many questions about why they had it in the garden. Just graciously accepted it. I don't want to be picky about your lovely offer, but the handle isn't there anymore? Yeah, and it also doesn't have one of those buttons on the door open button. Yeah, it's a basic microwave. You've just got to yank it open yourself. Oh.

No, actually, how do you get that open? Oh, I can put a bloody couple of screws in there, mate. We can put a handle on that, can't we? Yeah, I can whip something up there. But you're right, if Megan's having trouble, the postie might. Hey, don't. No, no, no. Be careful.

That's your letterbox. It's counterintuitive. The postie might. Hey, don't. No, no, no. Be careful. That's your letterbox. It's counterintuitive. Change the dials. It's a bit of fun for the postie as well. The kids in the neighbourhood will love it as well. Oh, yeah. Surely you're being dramatic. You just yanked it open.

You open it, Vaughan. Ah, she's right about that. Oh, yeah, oh yeah right okay it's kind of slammed shut it's sharp well no one's stealing a mail yeah no one's no one's you might need to do you need to lift it up a bit because it's not flush yeah there we go so just put a note on there for the the mail the posty just smells funny. Well, of course it does. It's a former student microwave. It's been in a garden.

It smells like a raccoon's lived in it. We don't even have those here. Right, well, we're going to unveil our next mailbox for you tomorrow and then people can vote online for their favourite mailbox and then you get that. Oh, I was going to say, do I choose? Because I don't want to be pre-emptive, but I don't want that one. I already know. Rude. Rude. Very rude. Thanks. This is my favourite one. A lot

of people actually use microwaves as letterboxes. I know, but they're probably still with the handle, at least. Sickle. Yeah. Rude. I'll say it again. Yeah. But rude. Thank you, though. Are we going to go out with the intro as well? If you want.

Megan's mailbox, Megan's mailbox. When she moved in, she ran it down. So Fletch and Vaughn are helping to get her a new mailbox. She specifically asked for this segment not to be called Megan's Box. Brilliant. It's so easy to sing along and it flows. Fletch, Vaughn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Usually, it's at this stage of Don't Get Fletch Started that I ask Megan a question under the guise of leading away

from what we're about to talk about and then asking Fletch like it's not to do directly with the subject, even though it always is. But this time, no. Oh, okay. You're trying a different tact. Because I don't think anybody apart from you has had this thought. No, I agree.

Are you kidding me? So many people will agree with me. What have you, what's your latest self-service supermarket gripe? Because you've always got a gripe with self-service, but this one I was just like, just, okay, well. What's your problem? This happened actually the day before the whole alert level three thing. I just happened to be at the supermarket and I was in the, I think it's the international aisle

and I was finding some Thai curry paste. And I was like, you know what? I'm going to try it because I always go green. I always do my green curry. Coconut green Thai curry. Love it. Basic. Well, I know. So I was like, when I was getting a new one, I was like my green curry. Coconut green Thai curry. Love it. Basic. Well, I know.

So I was like, when I was getting a new one, I was like, next to it, there was like yellow and red. And I was like. You'd love them because they're a little bit sweeter. I know. I love these. So I was like, oh, because I've been trying the yellow one lately. I love that.

That's my new fave. And so I've got one of each. And then I was like, oh, my God, if I've got like three jars, I need lots of jars of coconut milk. So I got like seven or eight of those and chucked them in the basket. Yeah, like little cans of the coconut milk. So you just put one in every time you have like a curry.

So anyway, I was at the self-serve and I was like, beep, plonk. Beep, plonk. And I was like, oh, for F's sake. When you go through the checkout with the person, they just go seven, beep, and then put them all in the thing. Why don't they trust us to do that?

We are humans. We can't be trusted. We can. No. Because they, because it'll say, you would say to the machine, seven cans, and it'll be like, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop. And all.

A kg, you'll put them in, it'll all tally up the weight, and then we can move on. No. Oh, it's so annoying. No, you're adding a confusing element to it. You've got to go beep. Like, what are you in such a hurry to get home to do? That is what I always wonder.

He's always in a rush with nothing to do. I'm trying to streamline the self-serve checkout process, Warren. There's no way that... You're in a rush for everything. You can't have a bath because you're in a rush. I am relaxed because you're in a rush. I am. Every time I have a bath, I'm like, okay, I'm done.

That's why every time I go to a Hot Pools, I'm like, I've been 20 minutes, I'm done. I'm done. I'm done with Hot Pools. I'm so baffled. I get so bored. But why can't they let us submit the quantity of the same item we're buying in the self-serve? Say you bought one tin and you swipe it and it's like, how many have you got?

And you're like, just one thing. No, but there's just a little side option button. So if you scan something. That's as confusing as remembering to hit the I bought my own bag button before you start doing your groceries. Yeah. Well, I never remember to push that before I do my own groceries. Someone like me could have just been like seven.

Boom. Done. Quicker. Otherwise, I'm like, beep. Put it in. And then it thinks them out. You have to do seven. And then you still have to go can, can, can, can.

Yeah, but I could literally grab like the whole handful of cans and put them in. It would be so quick. Thank goodness you saved yourself five seconds. Yeah, but still, if everybody was saving five seconds, the... Also, every now and then you can go through a checkout. You've got to wait.

Every now and then you go through a checkout and they will do this instead if you've got five, to use your example, five cans of coconut milk. Yep. Rather than going beep, beep, or beep, and then five.

They'll go like this. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Oh, I kind of like when they do that. But they don't let us do that at the self-serve checkout. So go to the normal checkout then. I don't want to go to the normal checkout because they talk to you.

Don't they? They're like, how was your day? Producer, it's okay. Producer Jared, who famously did time at Packinside. Did time. He said you could ask the self-serve supervisor to input multiples,

but then you've got to call them over there and always deal with somebody else. Jared, that's too much time. That always takes ages. You're like my red light flashing, hello. Like, it takes people 10 minutes to scan one item at these self-serve things. I used to supervise these.

It's the most frustrating thing in the world. And then you get your dude coming in trying to do seven times cans of coconut milk. Dude wants to rewrite the rules because he's a little too quick. Excuse me. If dude has the option on the touchscreen and can handle the jandal of the self-serve checkout,

he should be allowed to. If this is dude's biggest worry, if this is dude's biggest worry, his privilege is showing. He's wearing a shirt that says privileged and proud. Now let me, let me in for multiple. I'm just saying, if I can make it quicker for the people behind me in the line, as a human, as a dude. No one is worried about this.

No one is worried. Maybe an ex-checkout operator. Maybe an ex-checkout operator is the only person that would be going through and be like, heck, I wish I had the ability to multiple input. But they're not the only one. I just don't know what you're doing. I don't know why you need to save five seconds to hurry off to do what. This message just in. Fletch and I shop

at the same countdown. And every time I see him, he's hustling round, zooming past people. You've got to be quick. This is how he lives his life. He's in such a hurry because he's got nothing to do. Okay, when we're walking to the toilet, we get a break and there's a song. We'll walk

to the toilet together. I walk too and there's a song. We'll walk to the toilet together. I walk too slow. He walks off. Oh, Megan is. Even though we're having a conversation, he still leaves you for dead. Hey, how are you? How was your weekend? Cool.

Wave through the window to some other radio stations. Fletch is just like. Like he's doing the 50K walk in the Olympics. No time, no time. Expect them to be like. I'm injured in my car. I'm down, I'm down. I'm down. I was in a hurry to nowhere.

Slow down, babes. This is why you're all late. Take it all in. Megan has the latest next. I'm rushing through life to do nothing. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. A study's been done in the UK and it's found that a quarter of pet owners,

and this is quite a big study, it's surveyed thousands of people, a quarter of all British people that responded in this study do not like getting naked or changed in front of their pets at home. So they will either shut the door or kick the animal out to get changed. That's a bit weird, isn't it? Isn't that weird? i just don't like any of the areas in the house i get changed i don't like the animals being like in the bedroom animals in the bedroom full stop whether or not people are closed but that's because you've got big dogs like surely you don't one big dog you've got two dogs small dog annoying they're both annoying though so do your cats not even go in your bedroom?

I don't like them in there. You're such a meanie. No, they've got other places they can be. Plus they've got a job to do. Get outside and catch the rats. You're always on the clock. Get out there. Catch a rat.

Right. So we ran a poll on our Instagram. Different in New Zealand, only 10%. Right. Saying they find it weird if the animals are in the room. Right. So they won't get naked or do stuff in front of animals. Whereas you don't care? Usually Leo's sleeping.

If he's in the bedroom, he'll be asleep. But if I'm getting changed and he looks, I'm like, oi, look away, and he looks away. But I wouldn't – he doesn't know what he's looking at. It's not a big deal. I've just Googled percentage of the population who believe in reincarnation. I hope it's low. Nearly four in 10 or 39% believe in ghosts and more than a quarter believe in reincarnation.

So similar to that, do you think there's a correlation between this could be like some old pervy man that turned into a cat watching me get changed? Yeah, but who cares? It's not like he's going to go tell anyone about it or... That might be the biggest thrill that old pervy man and a cat gets that day. That's no defence for perverts. If I'm walking

in the park and there's a man naked in the bush playing on himself, he's like, don't worry, I won't tell anyone. I'm not going to be like,'s a man naked in the bush playing with himself he's like don't worry I won't tell anyone I'm not going to be like fine as long as as long as you don't tell anyone It's fine Yeah

I don't know I just don't think the animal knows what they're looking at What about Maybe that's why your dog is always looking and he's like

what is that Do you think that's how it's eyes Is that how it's eyes popped out He's like I was a pervert in my previous life. I've seen it all, but what is this?

Would you? He's a 1930s pervert. He's like, what's this modern? Do you? Sexy times. Yes. As the door's shut, he's out. No one should be doing that with an animal in the room.

Absolutely not. You just, no. Yeah, no. He's out. No one should be doing that with an animal in the room. Absolutely not. You just, no. Yeah, no. He's absolutely outside. Someone, who told me this? They were in the throes of passion and the Labradors started licking their foot. That's why. That's gross.

You get them outside. Get out. Because you don't know what, they might jump up on the bed and want to cuddle. Yeah. While you're having cuddles. They see the action happening. They're like, I know how to do that. Fun times.

Like we're playing. Yeah. No. Or get off her. You know how dogs are like. You're attacking my mum. My dog's very protective over the girls and Sade. Like doesn't give a shit about me.

But like, yeah. Walks around with them. Looking after them. Be on me. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Special guest on the phone, sexologist, relationship coach, and our friend Morgan Penn joins us. Good morning.

Oh, good morning, lovelies. So we know from last lockdown that it's not great for some relationships and people do struggle. But you've fielded calls already from couples who are having trouble. Yeah, I've actually had an influx of people freaking out. I guess we've all been through this before, so we sort of know the level of stress

that adds to a household. And there were a lot of cracks last time, and now people are scared that it's going to be a full broken plaque. You know, it's not just a crack anymore. Do you think it's a good thing, though, to make decisions like this? Because it's a traumatic time, so stress is already heightened. Do you think that it's a good idea to be like, okay, it's over? No, it's not.

But unfortunately, I don't think we're really equipped with the tools of how to deal with it. And so it's almost easier to just throw in the towel and get out of there. I mean, this relationship lawyer has said that at this time, just after last lockdown, divorce rates were up 40% compared to this time last year. Wow. And that's in New Zealand or is that worldwide? Yeah, no, New Zealand. Wow.

That's the good thing about lockdown. You find time to do all these things that you've been putting off. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Unless my wife's listening. In which case, this isn't the time. It's not a good time. So what do you say to to couples then like what would be the first thing if they come to you with this kind of dilemma

yeah well i guess like the biggest thing is communication and this is just something we're not taught how to do well and so the best sort of form of communication where to start is non-violent so that's talking with compassion and listening with compassion so you almost have to have a conversation about how you're going to communicate before you even communicate and it's just about being almost having like radical honesty and being really truthful so sometimes we don't know what we really want but just owning it so I feel really sad today or I feel really neglected by you today you don't necessarily know what you really want, but just owning it. So I feel really sad today or I feel really neglected by you today. You don't necessarily know what you need the other partner to do, but it's just about bringing that to the table as a conversation starter.

Because I always think it's really hard to argue with someone's emotion, you know, because that's just the way they feel. So. That's right. But a lot of people put it on the other person. You make me feel, you know, sort of owning it for themselves. Right. So it's about sort of, you know, if we look back on the last lockdown, work out what didn't go so well and then make a plan of like how to do that better.

Why are you laughing, Bourne? No, I was just thinking last lockdown, there was a lot of drinking and a lot of... I was like... That didn't go well. There wasn't a lot of arguing, but good God, there was a lot of drinking and a lot of... There wasn't a lot of arguing, but good God, there was some KGs going. We've got to have a lot of fun

as well. That's what's really important. And, you know, there's lots of things you can do when you're stuck at home, you know, to try to do things differently, you know, to spice things up a little bit. You know, you can try different rooms and positions and temperatures and toys and... But the kids are home because there's no school!

Yeah, but there's hopefully different rooms and good TV. Right, kids, you watch Peppa Pig. Your mother and I are going to go and fool around in your bedroom. Vaughn, here's a question for you. Oh, OK. What? You've got a question for you Oh, okay What? You've got a question for me? Yes Okay, so

Yeah You and the lovely Shada have been together for a long time Yeah Do you reckon you know everything about her? No So this is what people seem to kind of I'm happy not knowing everything though I think we've got a mutual agreement that we don't need to know everything.

Like, I don't know when she poops and it's gone long enough that I think it's almost like, that's great. What? Never? No, never. And never farted either in front of you. Correct. I could never even confirm that she does poo. Well, I reckon

that could be quite a good lockdown challenge. What? Try to bust your pooing? I thought you were on the phone to tell us how to avoid arguments. All right, love. Morgan reckons I hunt you while you poo. I'm going to set up cameras in the toilet. I'll catch you. Oh, my God.

This has not gone down well. It's about, like, curiosity, you know. People just assume they know everything about their partner. And if we bring, like, a new, like, lens and try and act like we don't know much about them, it can open up a whole new conversation. But do you just, like, sit on the couch and, like, interview them about, like, everything?

I reckon just be real weird. Like just ask them real random questions. Like just real catch them off guard. I mean it's gonna really shake things up. If you could have a unicorn but you weren't allowed to tell anybody about your pet unicorn nor ever allow anyone

to see the pet unicorn, would you still want a pet unicorn? Yeah, great. Great. And they're like, where are you going to keep it? Yeah, exactly. That's so weird. I love it. Well, I was going to say, if people accidentally

saw your unicorn. That's gone. Oh. If someone's like, is that a unicorn? It's gone. And then you're like, God damn it.

I don't know if Sade really wants an insight into this mind. It's a scary place. Yeah, you'd have your work cut out for you with this one. Morgan P and Sexologist, thank you so much for chatting to us this morning.

Hey, you're welcome, but we've neglected the singles. Oh, yeah, okay. I think they've got enough. What do you mean they've got enough? All that freedom and time to themselves. Well, not in lockdown. Some of the singles are really lonely at this time.

It's really hard. And, like, our nervous systems and bodies really love other people's touch. You know, even hugs from friends and stuff. So I really, like, yeah, urge you to touch yourself and explore your own body. Give yourself your own life. Now, I'm not single, but can I do that? Yes, you course you can. Yes.

Now, what qualification do I say when I say to my wife, I'm just off for a Morgan sanctioned... That's all you need. Yeah, Morgan said I have to do this. Shut it or lock it. I'll be out soon. Oh, my God. By the way, I need an answer on that unicorn thing.

You take five minutes to think about that. I'm going to go and play with myself. Vaughan Smith, Morgan Penn, thank you so much for joining us this morning. You're welcome. Always a pleasure. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. We are back into levels two and three.

We've been here before and last time, even around here, a lot of us are like, I'm not doing that again. Vaughn, you're not eating as much this time. Did you not see Instagram stories or the group chat over the weekend? And in my lifelong effort to get gout. By only eating meat. By eating the richest of foods. Made my

Matty Mathewson fried chicken on Saturday. Your what? Matty Mathewson. What's that? He's a chef. He's such a good, yeah, yeah, yeah, he does barbecue stuff as well, but he's just a great chef. If you're going to come around here with a niche celebrity reference. Matty Mathewson. You've got to be across

the foot amazing. You soak the chicken in pickle juice for two days. What, like chicken wings? Is that what you did for your chicken wings? And then you transfer it and soak it in buttermilk for a day and then it goes straight from buttermilk into the flour which you put all the stuff in and then you deep fry it. And it was, I've been wanting to do it for ages.

I've been saving pickle juice for months. So that was great. And it was, I've been wanting to do it for ages. I've been saving pickle juice for months. So that was great. And then I found when I was doing the weekly shop, this is why I shouldn't be in charge of the weekly shop. I found whitebait. So I bought some whitebait. We had whitebait fritters. You found whitebait at your supermarket? I knew it. And it didn't feel like sustainable

at all. I couldn't say no because I never get whitebait anymore. So you're, I'm not going to eat much. Yesterday I made Korean style short rib. And that was

pretty good too. Yeah, so literally like before level three that day, that Wednesday, you were like,

I'm not going to eat this much. I'm not going to do this again. And I sat down with a tube of Pringles on Friday night to polish the whole thing off while playing Fortnite. So then once you pop, you can't stop. You cannot.

And I was like, halfway through, I was like, I feel sick. And then I ate the rest. You have to. You've started. Yeah. Yeah. So it took you, what, a couple of days, and then you were off the rails.

Yeah. Right. We haven't done nearly as much baking. That was the rule. We haven't done baking. Yeah, it was the bread last time. It was everything. Was it Chelsea Winter's beer bread? doing baking because... Yeah, it was the bread last time. Who was the... It was everything.

Was it Chelsea Winter's beer bread? Yeah. Did she do the beer bread? Everyone made that. I was cranking a couple of those a week. Executive intern Anya,

it took you how long to break one of your lockdown level promises to yourself? Two days. Okay, what was that? That I wasn't going to watch reality TV.

That was a silly rule. I know, but I was like, blah, blah, banana bread, yoga, I'll be great. And then I didn't do any of the things and I just watched TV all weekend. But in terms of like drinking or eating, that's at the other end of things, is it? Oh, there was definitely snacks and beverages. Oh, yeah, okay. And a lot of time. Yeah. Yeah, because you were wanting to watch

a doco. What was your reality TV of choice? The Bachelor Australia. Which I'm also pissed at because we're Bachelor buddies and you know that we can't watch it together, so you've just started it without me. But are we, because we're in a work bubble,

are we allowed to be in a home bubble? I don't know. No, because you've got other people at home. Can you put that on the list of things to ask Jacinda next time we talk to her? Can we watch The Aussie Bachelor together? In the house. Because she loves specific questions like that all the time. She loves it. When was The Aussie Bachelor filmed?

Pre-COVID. Well, see, that's the twist. Half that all the time. She loves it. When was the Bachelor filmed? Pre-COVID. Well, see, that's the twist. Halfway through the season. They all get COVID. In the trailer, they're like, we have to stop production. Oh, okay. So I don't know how that unfolds. But I know part of it they do on Zoom, like the last half of the season.

Maybe they go on dates and get nasal swabs. It's romantic. Because COVID would tear through that mansion. Oh, absolutely. How are they going to do that? How are they going to romantic? Well, because COVID would tear through that mansion. Oh, absolutely. How are they going to do that? How are they going to do, oh no.

They have like Zoom dates. Yeah, from the bar and stuff. Oh, yuck. Yeah. Okay. From the bar?

You'll drop your iPad in the bar. They were both like, the guy Lockie and one of the girls was having a bath date and they both had like iPads

set up in the bath. Oh no, you've lost me. You can watch that on your own. No. Yeah, sounds like production costs just me. You can watch that on your own. No. Yeah, sounds like production costs just halved as well, doesn't it? It sounds very budget.

But we wanted to open up the phone lines this morning and ask you in level two or three if you made yourself a promise that you've already broken. Like you were like, you know, this time in level two, level three, I'm going to cook all the meals at home. Oh, don't do that. That's a big promise. Don't set yourself unrealistic targets.

It was also level four. Like level three is level four with takeaways, right? Yeah. Yeah, basically. Let's make the most of that. And support local. I'm going to say some people might have just been, that might have been their thing.

Like I'm going to save money. I'm not going to eat out all the time. Right, right, yeah. Lockdown 2.0. I'm going to save money. I'm not going to eat out all the time. Lockdown 2.0. I didn't call it lockdown. That was real. Level 4 was lockdown. We're just talking about those times.

Restrictions. COVID restrictions 2.0. You decided on Wednesday, I'm not going to do this this time in level 2 or 3. And it didn't take long and you've broken it. You've done it again. Lots of reports of banana bread. Right, okay.

Everyone was cranking banana bread, weren't they? I could tell that baking wasn't going to be that big a deal this time around when there was still like flour and yeast and everything at the supermarket. No, but I saw some supermarkets had lost like, were empty of flour and stuff on that Wednesday, Thursday. Yeah. Okay, well, not my West Auckland experience has been floury and yeastful. Lots of yeast in West Auckland.

Bevan. Sorry, Bevan. Sorry, West Auckland. Morning, guys. Morning. What did you decide level two and three to do? I was going to start riding my bike to work. All the massive two and a half Ks that it is.

Okay. All right. Because what you just like, this will be the exercise that I need. No gym. Okay. Can't go to the gym. Yeah, I'm going to ride my bike. I'm currently sitting in my car.

Oh, Bevan. It's a lovely day. It's a lovely day to ride the bike to work. I know. I know. I know. Do you get stuck in traffic? Oh, yeah. There's one set of lights that go through.

It takes me forever. Yeah. And do you see people ride past on their bike and you're like, you arsehole. Yeah, pretty much. Because traffic lights don't count for bikes, do they? Yeah, I always say that to cyclists, but I don't even want to ride a bike. I'm just like, hey, arsehole. Hey, Bevan, thanks for your call.

Although weather forecast, apparently we've got a big storm and rain for New Zealand this week. You were supposed to be encouraging him, not discouraging him. Get a jacket, Bevan. That was pretty encouraging. Don't forget to get a grown jacket, Bevan. It was semi-encouraging. You got a rubbish bag to make into a poncho, Bevan? Bevan's gone, Paul.

We lost them too soon. Some text messages on what you thought you wouldn't go back to, but maybe you've broken the promise in you already. Someone said... Who are they trying? So it might be one of these text messages that I'm about to read out. I promise to cook heaps of meals and do meal prep and do that thing where you cook too much so you can eat healthy three nights in a row. No.

No, hasn't happened, hasn't happened. No. There's nothing like scraping out a stir fry out of a steamer container in the fridge and it just plonks in one big... Carry on, finish your sentence. I'm just going to jump right on the back here. It just plonks into the bin in one big square. Oh, yeah, that's a good ad. It goes...

And falls out. Yeah. I thought you were going to mention the discolouring of the Sistema. What do you think happens if you put a spag bol? Mountie! Mount up! Tell Fletch what you were saying about cleaning the Sistema

with the curry staining. Your mic's not on. Hold on, hold on. Other mic. So I saw this on TikTok, and apparently if you put some dishwashing liquid, a little bit of hot water, and paper towels into a Sistema, close it up shake it up

the stain is gone. Why? But the how? What's a paper towel for? I don't know. The science? To soak up the

I don't know. Magic. To soak up the colour. I saw the video unless it was some high end trickery. But why does dishwashing liquid

not work when you soak it in the sink? Because I'm thinking it's the scrub. It's the way we're, it's what we're scrubbing it with. We're scrubbing it with the pot scrub. But the paper towel shaking. It's not absorbing it, yeah.

Yeah, but the paper towel, because it's oily, right? The oil's the issue. So maybe the paper towel absorbs it rather than just scratches it. It's amazing. Try it. I mean, you've got time on your hands.

Yeah, well, this is true. This is something you could totally try. Yeah, this is true. I mean, you've got time on your hands. Yeah, well, this is true. This is something you could totally try. Yeah, this is true. Someone said, my broken level promise is that I told myself I wouldn't turn to online shopping to make me feel better. Oh, have you done any of that? I haven't yet.

You were literally just looking at lawnmowers. Yeah, but that's a necessity. Gotta mow that lawn. Keep that grass down. She's new to the suburb. How much is a lawnmower. Yeah, but that's a necessity. Gotta mow that lawn. Keep that grass down. She's new to the suburb. How much is a lawnmower? Depends what happens. Some of them are so expensive.

Yeah, but you pay for what you get, you see. I'm looking at one, just maybe getting one of those ones you just push. Like a push one. Don't. You gotta mow your lawn every second day.

Yeah, but, yeah, no, it doesn't have a motor, it just goes... Nah, mate, you're going to spring, you want a nice What? Get yourself a nice mass sport Ooh, they'll last forever No, I'm not wasting money on them Ooh, get a nice mass sport

No, no Ooh, get a nice mass sport I'm just going to keep saying that Somebody else said, I promised myself I wouldn't drink every night So far I'm sitting on a 100% success Of drinking every night Oh, far I'm sitting on a 100% success of drinking every night, not drinking every night. Somebody said, I told myself

when lockdown was, when the restrictions were announced, I wouldn't panic buy things, but there I was panic buying things, not a few hours later. Yeah. Just do whatever makes you feel good. We'll get through this. Yeah, it's only another couple of weeks, eh? Yeah. Fingers crossed. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

The podcast. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. And it is our 50K fact of the day. It's all thanks to Save My Bacon, Borrow Money Online, while growing your credit score and your chance to win $500 at midday

and at four o'clock, you've just got to answer a question if you get through about this fact of the day to win that $500. Today's fact of the day is that if you have a stuffy nose and you're finding it a little bit hard to breathe, have sex. It's a decongestant.

Because it's hay fever season at the moment. Okay, I don't know if it'll work on hay fever. Okay, because that's probably the last thing you feel like doing. Do you know when you get hay fever, what part of the nasal system is highly irritated? The nose. All of it. It's the nose. I don't know about hay fever.

It's dribbly and sniffy. Nasal. Because the... So the part that I am specifically referring to is the turbinate. The turbinate, fascinating part of the body. Okay. The turbinate is the part of the body when Okay. The turbinate is the part of the body when you breathe in through the nose,

it humidifies the air that you're breathing. So you know how if you breathe through your mouth, your throat gets really dry and you're like, if you block your nose or if you've got a blocked nose and you're breathing predominantly through your mouth, you get like. Yeah, because I wake up with a sore throat because I've been mouth breathing.

That's it. Because it's dry. It's dry air. When you breathe in through your mouth, it goes into your lungs at the same humidity as what you're breathing. The turbinates in the nose humidify it when you breathe in through your nose.

That's why if you only ever breathe in through your nose, you don't get a dry throat. Well, I've got a humidifier. And it doesn't feel cold. It regulates the heat as well. But if you go... The nose is an amazing little thing on the front of your face. It regulates the heat as well. But if you go... The nose is an amazing little thing on the front of your face. Huh.

It regulates the heat too. Yeah, right. So that's why when you go... And breathe in through your mouth, it'll feel hot or cold depending on what the air temperature's like. But when you do it through your nose... Yeah, right. It regulates it a bit better.

Huh. But the Turbinate is... You can get a stuffy nose where it is like the blood vessels in the Turbinate, they swell up and you get a bit like... You might get a bit stuff nose where it is like the blood vessels in the turbinator, they swell up and you get a bit like... You might get a bit stuffy. Right, okay. And that when you are aroused, right, your sympathetic nervous system kicks in.

So that's the one that's also in charge of fight or flight response. And then the blood vessels constrict so that the turbinates, which are swollen, go down and it'll make it easier to breathe. And so forth and so on. However, side effect, you might get a runny nose. So you might like the stuffiness might disappear. You might be able to breathe easier, but you might get a little bit of... A candlestick while you're doing that. And that's attractive. Yeah.

Give it a wipe. Give it one of these. Yeah. That feels good. Give it the old wipe on the wrist and away you go. And it should last for like 45 minutes to an hour afterwards. Oh, wow. Okay.

So there you go. If you're a little stuffy, I would probably not if you've had exposure to anybody with COVID-19 or you are a high risk person. Well, yes, certainly. And you could pass it on to the person who opts to engage with you, which is to be avoided. But if you've both got a cold, you're both a bit like, I'm stuffy. Get into it. Into the boudoir.

Into the boudoir. Mind you, lying on your back doesn't work as well as being on top. So that's just everybody has a turn on top. That's the answer to that one. That's the answer to that one. So today's fact of the day is are you feeling a little stuffed up? Try having some sex. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I hope I'm not the only one

Beautiful, Smith Thank you A Smith duet I hope I'm not the only one I hope I'm not the only one. I hope I'm not the only one where I guess people open up about something they do that they think maybe they're alone in. And so far, nobody has ever been alone. It's like a kink. If you are into something you think's weird, you've thought of it.

Someone else definitely has. Oh, yeah. Well, joining us this morning. There's 7 billion people in the world. Yeah. It's got to be. Yeah. Ash, good morning.

Hi, guys. How are you? Good, good. Now, what is the thing that you do, the one thing that you do that you think you've got to be the only one that does this? So, weirdly enough, I don't know where this comes from, but I have a habit of counting different colours up to my favourite number. What do you mean? Like, you just go or you go? Yeah, so

it's really hard to explain, but if I'm feeling anxious or if I'm really bored, I'll find something outside and I'll count the colours on it. Like, say a person's walking by that's, like, really colourful. I'll count all the colours that they're wearing and it has to add up to my phone number, which is 17. Right. But what if they're only wearing four colours? Then I would focus on something else.

There's always a solution for every problem. But are there normally that many colours? Not really, but, you know, if you're on the bus or something, there's so many different colours around, you can count those. So would you count a light green and a dark green as two different colours? Yes. Okay. Are you sometimes like at 15 and you're really like, I've got to get two more?

Yeah, it's pretty much like that, yeah. So do you just move on to another object if you don't get to 17? Yes. Okay. So you can't use two from another object when you get to 15 on one? I tend to not to. I'm sorry, I tend not to, yeah. Oh, because I'd be stretching, I'd be like, no, that's definitely a different shade of blue. You know, since you've said that, and I'm looking out the window, it's

made me really take notice of the colours out the window at work. Oh no, you've got a new habit. Yeah, well, I'd never really thought about that building across. I've always just considered that a grey building, but it's actually predominantly green. It's like a teary colour. Yeah, I've never thought about that before. Oh, that's so funny.

A little bit of red, a slither of red there, but we've got a lot of dark colours out the window, don't we? Yeah, lots of it. It's a very wintry looking situation, isn't it? I'll tell you what, Ash, we wouldn't get to 17 looking at our window. Oh, really? Not 17? White, brown. Are you allowed to look at everything? One object. Does it have to be like a building

or a person or a billboard? It can be anything at all, as long as it's in close proximity. It cannot be the same colour either. It has to be a different shade, like you guys said earlier, or yeah. Okay. Right, so we want to see now if Ash is alone in this.

Is this something that you do? It's quite niche. It is very niche. Kind of counting colours. Yeah. 0800-DARLSES-IT-M 9696 Give us a text. We want to see if Ash is alone in this.

Maybe you'll be our very first... I hope I'm not the only one. I guess we'll have to say you are the only one. Oh, that's exciting. We'll have to change the song as well, won't we? Hope I'm not the only one. We just heard from Ash who counts colours up to her magic number of 17.

Her lucky number. So if she doesn't see 17 different colours, has to start again. On a certain object. On a different scene, yeah. Is she alone in this? Now, we might have to get the panel out to judge this one because people are messaging through counting different things but not colours.

Similar, yeah. So do you think that counts? Jo? Shelly? Very specific. Shelly, good morning. Do you do this? Yes, it's not colours, but it's shapes or lines or cracks and things like that.

Yeah. Okay, so you'd look at it. And what do you count up to? Do you have a favourite number? No, but it's got to be an even number. It can be anything. Yeah. Right, so you'd just stop when you got to an even number of things.

No, you've got to get to the end of it. Like if there's tiles in a shop, you've got to count all those lines along that line of tiles or something like that. Oh, my goodness. What happens if you get to the end and it's like 11? No, you've got to stop before that. If it's the one before it, you stop before it

and you just move on to the next stripe or line or crack or whatever. I thought it was stressful. I thought it was bad. When I drive the car, I pretend I'm bouncing between power poles. Do you do that? No. No. I pretend I'm bouncing between powerpots. Do you do that? I have no idea. I do it on the way to work every single morning. What?

I bounce on the lights. Like you're in a video game or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, dong, dong, dong, dong. Hey, Shelly, thank you for your call. Shannon, do you do this? Yeah, when my daughter was really little, we used to count, I used to teach her the colours. so we used to count as many colours as we could find.

So when we're on our walks, we'd be counting the different tree-coloured leaves, the flowers. But you don't do that? It wasn't a set number. Right. We still do it now. Oh, you still, okay. She's six now.

Yeah, she's six now, so we still do that, but we also do iSpy on colours, so she picks a colour. And so, yeah, so she's learned all these extra colours by counting as many colours as we could find on our walks. Okay. That's cool. Okay, very similar. Thanks for your call. Karen, do you do this?

Yes, I do. Good morning. Yes, I do. I count up to 13. That's my lucky number, and it can be anything. So you would count colours up to 13 or anything like lampposts? Yep, anything. And if I can't get to my magic number, say I'm up to 11, I will divide the thing in half. That half will be 12. The next half will be 13. Done it. Move

on. That sounds like a little bit of creative accounting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me bring in Ash. You said before you don't cheat if you can't count the colours to your magic number. Yeah, no, I definitely don't cheat. I have to move on. So you just chalk it out to a failure and move on. Right. Ash,

does it make you, because I don't think you are alone, especially Karen, very similar there. Does it make you feel less alone now? It definitely does, yeah. I'm glad to know I'm not the only weirdo on this planet. Yes. People just here with their different,

like, habits of counting, counting things in the wild. Not always colours, but really interesting that caller before about the shapes because I'd never really thought about all the shapes outside. Now there's a square building.

Now you're stopping and you're taking in. You're taking it all in. That's what it feels like. It's a view I see every day, Megan, but, you know, I just look at it. I don't really. You take it for granted. Yeah, yeah. Like I take that square over there for granted.

You know me, I'm always taking squares for granted. Old Waster Triangle Smith face to call me well I hope I'm not the only one another success I thought that was going to be it

I thought that was finally going to be the one where like we couldn't find anybody but no ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan the podcast if you enjoyed this podcast

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