ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 17th December 2021

Episode Date: December 16, 2021

Zoom TP  Top 6: Voucher  Vaughans Joke  Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern!  Smith & Caugheys  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play. ZM, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Hello, welcome to the podcast. It's thanks to McCafe, great barista made coffee on the go. At the end of today's podcast, Ross Boss will be joining us for an announcement. Final podcast of the year for 2021? Yes.

Oh, I don't know what year we were in there. It's all a blur since COVID. Yeah. It really is. It's a big old blur. The Prime Minister is also on the podcast today. Someone who I've known for many years, but today is the first time I would say she looks... Rinsed.

Very rinsed. Yeah. Very rinsed. Yeah. Like after a three or four day rhythm and vines type bender in the heat sleeping in a tent and then someone said quick have a shower

and go do the media rounds yeah yeah I'm not saying that's what she's done no she's been dealing with COVID on a national level I've said this probably a hundred times this year

I wouldn't want her job for any money in the world no horrible there wouldn't be enough play ZM's Fletch Horn and Megan. I'm ready before Fletch.

Doesn't even have his headphones on. Good morning. Welcome to the show. 6 a.m. I think Jared's going to get a blast. Why? Why are we so early? It's 6am.

This is exactly the time that the show is supposed to begin. I can't believe Vaughn. I did a Vaughn. Haha, you did a Vaughn. Wait a minute. Unbelievable. Wait a minute. Good morning.

Good morning. Welcome to the show and good morning, the final show for the year. Yes, 17th of December. Coming up soon on the show, we witnessed something on a Zoom, a company Zoom yesterday. We all witnessed it individually. I'm lucky

my camera was off. I had to turn mine off. I had to turn it off. It was something. We'll discuss what we saw in this Zoom very soon on the show. The Prime Minister joins us after seven this morning. Yes, looking forward to talking to Jim Bolger.

No, he's not. What year is it? It's 2021. Jenny Shipley. Yeah, she rolled them. I went Jim Bolger, Jenny Shipley, Helen Clark, John Key, Bill English.

Yeah, Bill English saw out the end of that turn. For like three weeks. Jacinda Ardern. Yeah. There you go. Go backwards from Jim Bolger. Jim Bolger, before Jim Bolger was David Lange? Mike Moore. No, Jeffrey Palmer.

We're going to need a list. Geoffrey Palmer. I'm going backwards, right? We're going to need a list. Jim Bolger. Before Jim Bolger was Geoffrey Palmer. Before Geoffrey Palmer

was Mike... I've got the list. Mike Moore. I was right. Mike Moore was just before Jim Bolger. Geoffrey Palmer. David Blange.

Yep. Robert Muldoon, who was the Prime Minister who called a... Snap election because he was on the piss. He was pissed. I don't agree with his politics, but if you want to watch some... Did you not know that? Young Carwe. He was also out and about.

He was a national party leader. I'm just talking to Carwin. You guys can listen if you want. He was a national party leader and he was in Southland. And someone who worked at a freezing works came out and had a go at him about a policy. He punched him in the guts. A Prime Minister punched a worker in the guts.

He was like, get out of the way. And like, boom, jabbed him. Loved a scotch. He sounded like Donald Trump, but before his time. Yeah. He didn't have social media, thank you. Someone should set up a Twitter account that's like, what would Muldoon tweet? And it's Muldoon tweeting about modern issues. Yeah. He didn't have social media, thank you. Someone should set up a Twitter account that's like, what would Muldoon tweet? And he's Muldoon tweeting

about modern issues. Yeah. God bless. Who was before Muldoon? Kirk? Wallace, Edward Roll... Rollins. Yeah, Rowling. Rowling. Rowling. Rowling. J.K.

Rowling. J.K. Rowling. And then before that, Norman Kirk. Bigling. Rowling. Rowling. J.K. Rowling. J.K. Rowling. And then before that, Norman Kirk. Big Norman. No. Yes? Yep, yep. And then all these ones that I know. I mean, you've got your Savages.

Michael Joseph Savage, he's a monument, isn't he? He was a wartime leader, wasn't he? What years was he? Do you want to know our first one going back? Look at his big beard. Edward Stafford. Look at him. Laugh at him. That was all the rage at the time. He looks homeless. Who's that? I at him. Laugh at him.

That was all the rage at the time. He looks homeless. Who's that? I recognise a couple of these other people. He had a few goes. He came back. He had heaps of goes, didn't he? Yeah, greedy. Good work. Well, anyway, we've got the current Prime Minister. There's a long, long route to get there, but the current Prime Minister is on the show with us after seven this morning.

Next on the show, Vaughan, why you should be positive. I know you're an absolute beacon of positivity. Correct, Amanda. Never cynical. But why you should be positive. Okay. ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Megan.

A new study has found that positive thinking, and you're a very positive thinker, Vaughan. A bean. I mean, you're as cynical as I am, but you're not like... I'm a silver linings guy. You're a silver linings guy. So you're like, would you describe yourself as semi-positive? Positive, positive adjacent. Positive, not like outright negative.

I'm not negative. You're not an outright negative person. You're just realistic and cynical. Yeah, but like, look for a silver lining. Well, a new study... What does that mean for me? A new study has found that positive thinking can result in an 11 to 15% longer lifespan and a stronger likelihood of living to age 85 or older. Okay.

Which again, I don't know how long my KiwiSaver is going to last. Exactly. And what state am I going to be in at 85? Like if I get to 85 and I'm not mobile, like you you see some 85-year-olds and they're out there. I know, they're just, yeah. Gardening. I think of my nan, she still mows her own lawns. She's 87.

Yeah. And I'm like, that'll be all right. But then you see some people who are in their late 70s and they don't do much and they sit in a chair all day. I'm done. If I'm sitting in a chair all day, I'm probably done. Yeah. Like, what have I got to look forward to?

The six-monthly visit from the grandkids and the chase every night? I mean, the chase every night is probably enough to keep me going. I mean, imagine that. You're just living for the chase. No wonder Bradley Walsh is on every second television program. Imagine living for the chase but hating the tipping point. So you had to sit through the tipping point to get the morning session of the chase. Yeah.

And then your memory's gone a bit, so you can't remember if you've seen the episode before. But your memory's gone. You won't be able to answer any of the chase questions. Well, no, unless it's long-term memory, and that's the ingrained part of the memory. I'm kind of hoping, though, that if I'm going to live that long, that these Ryman homes are going to get a bit jazzier.

I've said there's the one by us. It's very nice. But I don't like golf. I don't like water feature gardens. I want hydra slides. I want lazy rivers. Hydra slides are hip smashers. But what about lazy rivers? Yes. Lazy river would be

a lazy river for a retirement home would be heaven. Imagine how many loops you could do in a day. And I'd get a floaty like Lilo with a cup holder from a drink. And I'd get a floaty. You'd just fall asleep. I'd get a floaty like Lilo with a cup holder for my drinks. And then every time you float past the bar, you're like tap, tap, tap. Yeah. Because I'm assuming they have bars at restaurants, right?

They've got a bar at this restaurant. Do they actually? Is it RSA prices? That's what I want to know. That's what I want to know. Because otherwise I have to sneak. I'd just be drinking in my little unit. Or I'll just sneak it out in like a soft drink bottle.

That's a good call. Or hollow out a watermelon to take on the lazy river. Or they might have free soda, so you could just be like, I'll just have a fill up with Coke Zero, and then you glug, glug, glug on your own. So positive thinking. Positive thinking. Positive thinking.

Yep. Healthy eating. Although it does. Regular exercise. It does say that, you know, positive thinking increases your lifespan, but it does add this effect remained after other factors such as age, gender, income, depression, and health status were controlled. And, like, how is anyone at 85 controlling all of those? Poorly.

Yeah. I don't imagine I'll even have bladder control at 80. Yeah, because, you know, they stop a couple of episodes of Chiro or The Chase and you spiral into depression. Nothing to live for. Oh, and keep yourself going with the sternly worded letter to the chief programmer at TVNZ. Yeah, yeah.

All right, next on the show, something that we all witnessed on Zoom yesterday during a staff meeting. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Coming up on the show, the top six. Yeah. Police warning about sending gift vouchers in the mail. I've got the top six ways to disguise vouchers.

Not that if you're sending anything in the mail, it's going to get there from today, right? Like, good luck. The couriers are slammed. Oh, yeah. It's a week. Yeah, no, you've got no chance. You've got no chance.

You've got no chance. Merry Christmas. Hand deliver or e-cinema. Merry Christmas. You've got no chance. You've got no chance You've got no chance You've got no chance Merry Christmas Hand deliver or Merry Christmas You've got no chance You've got no Yeah Oh

I forgot to bring in Dave's lollies Are you Oh god Sorry Tamer Pissed everybody off Dave You know Dave

Talked about Dave next door He works at the At the lolly factory Yeah the Macy's factory The Macy's factory Yeah Well yesterday I'm out In the vegetable garden

Tying up some tomatoes that had bore the brunt of a storm. And I hear Cherie at the fence and she's like, you're born. Cherie? You've never mentioned Cherie? Cherie is Dave's wife. You've never mentioned her? Norma is the matriarch. Well, yeah, I know Norma. Norma's daughter is

Cherie. Okay. Cherie is married to Dave. Dave works at Macy's. Right, you always talk about Dave but not Cherie. I had no idea. Oh, well, I don't mean to have absolutely missed Cherie. Okay. Cherie is married to Dave. Dave works at Macy's. Right, you always talk about Dave, but not Cherie. I had no idea. Oh, well, I don't mean to have absolutely missed Cherie. She's like, you who've won, and I said, hello. Pretty much. So I plopped down to the fence, and she's like, I got the family

a little something, and it's all like Macy's lollies straight from the factory. I'm so sorry I forgot them. And then you sent in the group chat saying, look what I'm bringing in tomorrow. Dave's coming hot. The last day of the show. And now you do this. Maybe Sade could run them in. That's not a bad idea.

I could actually put a bit of pressure on there for a lolly run. I mean, she's got better things to do. Does she? Probably not. Photographing your bathroom? Jesus Christ. She bought towels for a photo. And I was like, where are those lovely waffle towels?

I can't wait to rub my bum on one. Yeah. And she's like, absolutely not. Those are towels. I'm like, for drying oneself? Yeah. And she said no. Oh.

You're not allowed to use those towels. So who is? Guests. Photos? I don't know. Oh. Cameras? Cameras?

I can't. When I get home today, I'm going to have a shower. I'm going to find that towel. You're going to waffle all over it. And I'm going to walk out. I'm going to put that waffle all over me. I'm going to walk out into the lounge with that waffle towel wrapped around me and say, I don't even know if I washed properly.

I've rubbed this towel over my filthy body. Yeah, sure. Love that. Anyway, do we still have time to talk about what the, I feel like. Yeah, absolutely. Okay. So, yeah. I mean, it's the last day, right?

Who needs music? Let's talk. Last night, what we had is a bit of a Merry Christmas, everybody, Zoom situation. Everybody was there. And somebody. Everybody from work, probably like 30 people on the Zoom call. Lots of people, cameras off. I had my camera off.

Your camera was off. I said, why is your camera off? I messaged you. Well, I wasn't wearing pants. I was wearing knickers, but that was it. I'm never wearing pants when we're on a Zoom.

Okay. Good to know. So I, somebody started talking and I was like, and I did that thing where you change from the view where you can see everybody.

Look, it's a massive game of celebrity squares. Yeah. And I changed it to the view where whoever's speaking gets larger on Zoom. Yeah. And somebody had a roll of toilet paper on their bedside table. And I, being the immature soul I am, found that very amusing because that is what you do when you're a teenage boy and you're playing with yourself.

Yeah. Vaughn messaged a group chat saying, check out who's got a masty station. A masturbation station. Yeah, next to the bed. And what happened? No, Carlin did. I saw it and Sade came in. So I muted my mic and turned off my camera, which looked very suspicious,

but I don't care. And Sade's like, what's happening? I was like, oh, it's the Zoom thing. I was like, check out this masturbation station. And she cracked up laughing. And's like trust you and i was like i'm pretty sure other people would have noticed and then carwin messaged the group this is blasphemy all i said was the toilet roll in the background it was implied it was implied there was do we not have any implication do we not think that was for the sniffles? Yeah, of course.

Just a little cup. It did look like a bottle of loot. No, because he was speaking and he didn't have a sniffle and that was definitely the masculine side of the bed. Jared. As a man with a canine for a masturbation station. The bog roll was strategically placed to the left of the snowman So, yes, there it is, it's the CSI So we're saying that was definitely a masturbation station

I'd say so Was the Zoom pre or post? Masturbation station in Europe Yeah, right, okay There was no sweat on the prowl Wow, okay post. Masturbation Station in Europe. Yeah, right. Okay. There was no sweat on the prowl. Wow, okay. And the bed, the cover on the bed was flat, so it was either like

afterwards, it looked like no one had been lying on top of the duvet. You've got to think about these things when you're putting your home on Zoom. Zoom, what's in the background? Come on, people. I just love that we were all, everybody thought it. So there definitely would have been other people in that Zoom

that thought it as well. From the hard to find Zadling's tank, this is the top six. That's just my wishful thinking wanting to go home. 6.26. There it is. Sorry if I gave anybody heart palpitations. The police.

Oh. They don't have heart palpitations. No. They have said, just be careful sending vouchers in the mail. But as Fletch said before, you'd be running the risk of not getting it there. What was their advice? If you can obviously hand deliver it, give it to them in person,

or get an email voucher code. Yeah. And you could still give them a card, but just say, I'll email you the code. Yeah. Because people apparently can go through letterboxes. Pilfering.

And they'll just feel for a card, like they do for credit cards. A thin bit of cardboard with a thick plastic, but a plastic card on the front. They'll know that that's a bloody... Yeah, but they'll take it and spend it, and there's your Christmas gone, ruined. Yeah.

The top six ways to disguise your vouchers. Number six on the list. Put it inside socks. And then they'll just... Yeah, okay. And then be like, there's something inside the socks. Or don't tell them, so they're like, cool. And then they put the socks in the drawer, and then one day when they go to put the socks be like there's something inside the socks or don't tell them so they're like cool and then they put the socks

in the drawer and then one day when they go to put the socks on there's a voucher inside too yeah nice that's a Trojan horse Christmas unless somebody

pilfering mailboxes loves socks loves socks and then they've got two great presents socks and a voucher yeah number five

on the top six ways to disguise your vouchers label it put it in one of those polystyrene cooling boxes. Oh, yeah. You know, with some dry ice in there. Yeah, yeah. And label it contains human placenta. Yeah, or human body parts.

Yeah, unless somebody's looking to make some of their placenta pills, you should be able to sneak that one past. Maybe put some old steaks or something in there. So just if they give it a bit of a slosh, it sounds like there's human parts inside. Okay, yeah, good, good. Number four on the list of the top six ways to disguise your vouchers, put it inside vegan baking. Oh, okay.

But Vaughan, won't the moistness ruin the voucher? Don't worry, it'll be dry. It'll be dry. Very nutty. Lots of nuts in a vegan baking. Lots of nuts. Number three on the list of the top six ways to

disguise your voucher are inside a dead animal. Oh, okay. So don't even label it. Just put a dead possum in their mailbox and the voucher's inside the possum. Right. And then send them a message saying, your present's inside. Yeah.

Okay, it's a lot of effort to go to a thief for maybe a $30 voucher. Is it though? Maybe not. Possums are everywhere. Do the environment a favour. Yeah. Kill your own. Number two on the list of the top six ways

to disguise your vouchers, inside undies. Used undies. Because then they'll just think it's undies, dirty undies. But actually inside, maybe in Vegemoto Marmite, you've written the code. For the voucher. On the undies.

People aren't going to touch that. And number one on the list of the top six ways to disguise your vouchers, inside a bottle of Midori. Oh, okay. Lovely bottle of green Midori. Put it inside there. There'll be a lot of people that want to steal a bottle of green Midori. Oh, okay. Lovely bottle of green Midori. Yeah. Put it inside there. There'd be a lot of people that want to steal a bottle of green Midori. Really? Yeah. Well, then just look for the

white woman who can't quite get her words together because she's just drank a bottle of Midori. That is today's top six. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. Christmas special of Have You Been Paying Attention is on tonight. Filmed, when did you film that? Sunday. Sunday, okay. Yeah, we filmed

that Sunday. One of the at-home Zoom ones? Yep. Okay. Yep, not back in TVNZ yet. And I was showing off, I was like, guys, I'm going to have a really good Zoom quality because we've, this is the first one since we got Starlink.

Almost, we got fast internet it pissed down with rain and it affected my internet a bit if it rains a little bit is it like when you've got a sky dish and there'd be rain fade yeah in the middle of a sports game it searches for a stronger signal and i don't know my computer kept being like oh what's happening here yeah and anyway have you thought about getting an umbrella for the satellite dish no because that would stop it. It's not, I don't think it's at the umbrella level. I think it's a cloud. Well, have you

checked? A high atmospheric situation. Have you checked? But then if I put the umbrella over it, it would also be blocking it. I don't know. Like a see-through umbrella. You get a see-through umbrella. Put a glass house over it. Yes. I mean, look, it sounds stupid, but maybe it would work. I don't know, mate. Get a large glass dome made for it, like it's its own snow globe.

But then it'll have its own atmosphere inside it. That could be the start of some catastrophe. Yeah, see, I've just Googled satellite umbrella. But they're just umbrellas that look like satellites. Ah. What? Which look very tacky. Who would want an umbrella that looks like a satellite?

I don't know. That's a dumb idea. I found a picture here. It's like, I think someone's just turned a satellite into like a sunshade. Oh, they've turned an old satellite into an umbrella. That I like a little bit better. Yeah. Oh, someone has turned a satellite into like a bird aviary or a chicken coop.

That's cool. Something my dad would do. That's upcycling. Yeah. Upcycling. That's some hot upcycling. Yeah. So there was, it was kind of like what has happened throughout the year.

It's on tonight at 7.30 on TV2. Okay. They told us that as we're about to start. They said it's on 7.30, so everybody obviously adjust yourself accordingly. Yeah, right. And then that's when you see a bunch of comedians go, okay. So one of the, even though it's on at 7.30, one of the clips, spoiler alert, it might not make the cut. Okay.

It might make the cut. Okay. It might make the cut. One of the questions was about the clip that's gone around when on 7 Sharp, Jeremy and Hilary implied that now 25 people were allowed to be in the same spot. Yep. What does that mean for Tinder hookups? Yes. Well, between Sunday and now, it's also made it onto the late show.

Yeah, what's it called? The late show with Stephen Colbert. Yep. New Zealand Prime Minister and dear friend of the show, Jacinda Ardern, announced recently that under the country's COVID guidelines, orgies of 25 people are good to go in New Zealand. Kiwi! The orgy rule came up during an interview where Prime Minister Ardern was discussing how Tinder fits into New Zealand's colour-coded traffic light COVID warning system.

I knew this moment would come, but I can confirm that Tinder liaisons have reopened. Great news for my friend. It's not strictly embedded in the traffic light system, but it is a given. Up to 25 actually in a red area. I'm guessing if you have 25 people at your sex party, there's going to be more than a few red areas. That was it. What?

That was my joke about the red area. You said that on Sunday. Yeah, on Sunday. When did he say that? Yesterday. Yesterday, right. Cancel it. I messaged when I saw that last night.

I messaged the editors. I was like, I don't know if it's too late, but can you pull that out? I don't want people to think I copied. Because then you're going to look like, people just see your show tonight and think you just did it there. I just saw that and just took that. And even if it's only five people that saw it, that's enough. It's going to rattle around my brain for the

entire Christmas holidays. People think you'd steal a joke. Yeah, it didn't work out. Right, okay. But they said it's too late. And I said, did it make the cut? And they said, I don't know what you're talking about. So, I don't know what's happening there. So, you're going to be on TV tonight looking like a joke stealer. Which, there is no, I don't know what you're talking about. So I don't know what's happening there. So you're going to be on TV tonight looking like a joke stealer. Which there is no, I didn't know this, but these stand-up comedians take this very seriously.

If they're accused of stealing a joke. I know. It's like the worst thing they can be accused of. But then that kind of joke was a sitter, right? An absolute sitter. Like you wouldn't have been the only one making that or he wouldn't have been the only one making that Or he wouldn't have been the only one saying that No

Right This is just me trying to clear my conscience Yeah right Get the word out there Preempt the pre-empting Yeah I kind of hope they leave it in Just so someone on Twitter says like Why don't you rip off Colbert

Oh my god You would hate that I'm deleting Twitter You would actually steal that for weeks. I'm out. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. Flesh, Fawn and Megan's Christmas Balls. Tash, good morning.

Tash or Tash? Is it Tash or Tash? Tash. Tash. I didn't see an R in there and I was like, oh my god, is it Tash or Tash? But no, but sometimes a Tash doesn't need an R. It's all, it's like a Tanya versus a Tanya. It's a bit of an accent-y thing. That's why I thought I'd check. Well, Tash, we have for you now the chance to pick a McCafe Christmas ball off the tree.

Do you want a red, green, gold or silver? Gold would be great, thanks. You're going to grab a gold there, Vaughn? Oh, what have you put? It's got the lid on it. It's my drink bottle. I knocked it over with my gold there, Vaughn. Oh, what have you put? It's got the lid on it. It's my drink bottle. I knocked it over with my big curly cord. Okay.

All right. All right. Oh, my Lord. Oh. Not only have you won a month's worth of McCafe coffee, but you've also won a Nutribullet, a 900-watt Nutribullet. Yes. As far as watts go, that's up there.

It's up there. I don't know if it gets any bigger than 900. Why would you need any more power? Hey, that's all thanks to McCafe. You can try the refreshing McCafe iced coffee available now at Macca's McCafe. It is 10 minutes away from 7.

The Prime Minister joins us on the show just after 7 o'clock in studio. Do we have to wear a mask? I would hate to infect her with this positivity that I've got. Coming out of my pores. Yeah. Okay.

So she's in studio with us after 7 o'clock, but next on the show the flavour trends for 2022. Now you've got your pulse on the trends of what we're tasting. I've got my pulse on the trends? You've got your pulse on the trends of what we're tasting. I've got my pulse on the trends? You've got your fingers on the pulse of flavour trends. Yeah. Yeah. Fingers on the pulse

of what we want to taste next year. How are you in this position? I'm a chef. Right. I have a rat under this hat that I wear and he guides me around the kitchen telling me how to make the most perfect ratatouille. ZM's Flesh Worn and Megan.

Play ZM. This is the study of Americans. So it kind of some of it feels a bit backwards, right? Well, it is America. Yeah, and like I don't know where in America they got these people

from. This could be middle America. Because some of the things I'm about to tell you, we've been all over for years. Oh, okay. Maybe not my mum. I'm trying to think. Maybe they've surveyed a whole bunch of Christines. So these are flavour trends for 2022. So flavour trends for 2022, 46% of people have surveyed.

Is this a thing though? Flavour trends. Like, you know, they can be like, here's a fashion trend, we're all wearing like baggy jeans and we're getting rid of skinny jeans. Right. But is flavour, are they trends as well? Like there are all kinds of flavours to everything. Yeah, I know, but maybe this is more broadly speaking. Okay.

If you're interested in trying flavours, I love flavours. I'll have as many flavours at one time as I can. Absolutely. I find eating to be a glorious thing. It's a beautiful thing. There's everything. There's textures, there's flavours, there's the enjoyment. 46% of people said they're interested in trying mint chocolate flavoured items.

Hello? Minty biscuits. Minty biscuits. Mint slices. What about a mint chocolate trumpet? That's like, when you see one of those, I bloody love one of those trumpets. I love a boysenberry, I love a classic, I love whatever the trumpet of the moment is. And after dinner mint. Oh, they're good.

They are a treat, hey. When you're a kid, you think you're being ripped off when you get an after dinner mint. I love an after dinner mint. I traded away the mint roses. They were always the first on the trading table when it came to an after dinner mint. I love an after dinner mint. I traded away the mint roses. They were always the first on the trading table when it came to the after Christmas afternoon mint roses trade. There's always the hard toffee ones I'd get rid of.

See, you and I could have run a hot, tight trade because I would have had those. The only reason I like those is they lasted longer than the other ones. And you don't like cherry ripes. Again, I would have traded that away to you. 36% of people surveyed said they were open to trying lemongrass-flavored foods. Lemongrass. Where have you been?

Thai food is delicious. Yeah. Lemongrass chicken? Yeah. Come on now. This is what I'm saying. This feels like my mum answered these questions. 34% wanted to try or would be open to trying hot honey.

Hot honey? That's hot as in warm, not hot as in spicy. As in like a lemon honey drink? Yeah. Oh, America. Like you're using honey for a hot sweetener. What is going on? So when they were talking about the flavors that had been around,

like have you tried dot, dot, dot flavored things, coffee flavored things, like a mochaccino something. Only 43% of people had tried it or were interested in trying it. Oh. Yeah. It feels... But then maybe people are just happy with spuds. Well, that's something some people...

Spuds and some boiled veg and a bit of plain meat. People just stick to what they know and they're happy to eat it and not branch out. Get out there and try it. I know you're going to reach for a boysenberry trumpet, but if you haven't tried a mint chocolate trumpet and you see it, let me tell you. Try it. It's lovely.

ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Megan. ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Megan. Thanks, Ash. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch Vaughan and Megan. It's three minutes past seven. Well, she was just admiring your cucumbers. Take one of those home.

Joining us now, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern. Good morning. Merry Christmas. I wasn't actually admiring them. I just actually just took one. It's quite a large bag you've got there. Well, I have a cucumber arch this year. Oh, beautiful.

So they grow so much better when they're not sitting on the ground. They vine up nicely. And then when the cucumbers grow, they hang. So you get a straight telegraph or a Lebanese versus the curve that might get. I'm emotional talking about my cucumber. I know. Yeah. And every time I put it on the brand.

Some hot tips on here today. So he brings in a bag and she's around. The zooks and the cubes. Yeah. Do you like zucchinis? There's zucchinis there. I'm a bigger fan of a cucumber. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Kiwis are. Kiwis love a cucumber. I see you've chosen one and put it aside. I have. Before I even came in here, I really... Yeah, that's mine. I don't know if that... I think that's a Lebanese.

You might think it's a Telegraph, but I grow a big Lebanese. I grow a sizable Lebanese. If it is, I am impressed. My Lebanese is often confused with a telegraph. You are just a modern day Maggie Barry with your gardening world, aren't you? I got to know her a little better. Right. I see no resemblance.

Thank you. I'll tell you, that is a compliment. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. Joined in the studio by Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern. Do you know what we did at the start of the show today? People probably missed this at 6 o'clock We started naming New Zealand Prime Ministers backwards And got as far as we could Oh, I got to Bulger, that was where I started slipping

Yeah Because I said Palmer No, and then I said it was Moore More Guys, this is like, honestly You've done this once in a show And you're going to launch into doing it again We got up to Muldoon And remembered when he called a snap election Guys, honestly, you've done this once in a show and you're going to launch into doing it again.

We got up to Muldoon and remembered when he called a snap election when he was a bit drunk. And he punched that... And you remember the famous line? What was the famous line? Oh, they said, Prime Minister, this doesn't give you a lot of time to prepare. It doesn't give my opponents a lot of time either. That's great.

He'd had quite a few whiskers. I know. Let's get drunk rulers again I don't recommend that Some great decisions A lot of big decisions A lot of scotch based decisions Well here we are at the end of the year Quite the year

There was no enthusiasm in your voice It's been really hard It's been squeezed Well out of me, I think. And I didn't have to make country's decisions. So highlights, positive. What's the highlight? Where we're finishing, actually. When I think about where we've seen the rest of the journey

that the whole world's been through. There's nowhere that's had an easy ride, but yet where I look where New Zealand's landed and we've got the lowest hospitalisations and deaths for the year in the OECD and our life expectancy, we're only one of three countries where it increased and our unemployment's at 3.4%.

I just think of all of the hard stuff everyone's been through. People did save one another's lives and that just makes me feel really positive about New Zealand. Yep. Right. And our vaccination rates must be some of the highest in the world now because we've hit 90, right? We have hit 90

and one of the reasons we need to keep going though is that represents because that's of eligible people. Right. So 90% of eligible people but because we've got a lot of kids in New Zealand we landed about 76% of our total population so that does put us up there but there are other countries that don't have as many children who have higher rates.

So we do want to keep going because that just makes it safer for everyone. And there was an announcement yesterday about the 5 to 11-year-olds? Yeah, so we've been going through the full approval process. So all our experts have been looking at the evidence there. We wanted to make that decision, take our time with that decision. Our experts have done that.

So it'll be great, though, to have the opportunity for kids to be able to be vaccinated. And when do you think that would happen? Like in the new year sometime? Yeah, so that's what we've all been planning around. Right. Okay, awesome. But of course the really big thing, I see a lot of misinformation online. It will always be up to

a parent. It will be their choice for their kids. Yeah. There's no mandates when it comes to kids or anything like that. It is a parent's choice, but we want to keep kids safe. What are like the upper end of that, your 11-year-olds, who have probably, like, I'm pretty amazed, I've got a nine-year-old, I hope I don't get this wrong,

and a seven-year-old. Got it. That have kind of like, we watch the news every night, we see all this stuff, and even they're like, well, when it gets available, they want to have it done. It's amazing. I have letters. Kids write to me asking when they're going to be able to get a vaccine too.

You know, kids are really attuned, you know, tuned into what's going on around them. And so, yeah, I think it's great for parents to have those conversations with their kids. Yeah, totally. This is a pediatric dose. This is specifically around that age group, this one. Yeah.

Did you ever find that person last week who got 10 in one day? Pretty keen to see what happened there. Yeah, yeah. Do we know if they're still alive? Are they green? Are they the Hulk now? I have no further information on that. Personally, are you looking forward to a break?

I remember in Australia, there was, because the vials carry like six doses, I have no further information on that. Personally, are you looking forward to a break? I remember in Australia, there was because the vials carry like six doses and there was a GP in Australia who apparently just drew up the whole thing. And that person was fine. That person was fine. Invincibly then. Yeah.

On a personal note, are you looking forward to a break? Yes. Do you go fishing? Are clients going fishing? I do. Yeah, I do. Boat ramps?

Because shit gets heated at the boat ramp. Yeah. Who reverses? Clark's very big on boat ramp etiquette. Okay. Yep. He places which side we pull in and we're always very patient. You've got to give way to-

Does he come in, you pull your jeans up, jump out, go get the car and back it in? No, so he right down, trailer goes right down onto the boat ramp, checks me a rope and I just hold alongside. Okay. Yeah. So he leaves you in the boat. No, I'm standing on the boat ramp and I help pull the boat back. Oh, okay, right.

Not in the water, I stand on the jetty. Oh, okay. Oh, okay, I got you. Right, because that sounds like diplomatic protection. People could be helping there. Are they around when you go fishing? No, that's not really in their job description, but they're around. This is why I'd be a terrible Prime Minister.

Are my lawns along? What have you been doing all this time? My lawns are long, actually. I offered. Vaughan did offer several times. You know what? This was a test of my sibling relationship. My sister came around last night and I said, thanks for doing my lawns.

Right. A little passive aggression. Family. And nothing. She was like, no. Yeah, she said, I haven't even mowed my own lawns. Right. So fair enough.

Oh, you've got to do a weed and feed. You've got to be on top of your lawns at this time of year. They'll absolutely get away on you. Yeah. Now, the Stephen Colbert. Do you remember the time he came to the country, our comedy icon? Oh, yeah, that's right. We didn't get an invite?

That's still quite dark. Sorry about it. Your comments have gone viral around the world. The orgy 25 people red light comments. That was a reference to a gathering limit, not strictly a explaining is losing

on this one, so I'm just going to leave that one there. Yeah. I actually, that was only brought to my attention yesterday. Right. Okay. Do you guys text each other? Were you just like, thanks for that?

No. No. No. No. I did see that he referenced it. I don't know if that's how we want to be put on the map. But there we go. All good publicities.

Well, one of the only countries. All good publicities. Yeah. Yeah. That's Legally back on the orgy game. So, I mean, that's going to be put on the map, but there we go. All good publicity is all good. That's Legally back on the orgy game. That's right. Got to get those tourists back. We'll take anybody, right? We're still keeping it local though. We don't text. After he left New Zealand, he did flick a quick note through just saying

thank you to everyone for the hospitality. That's good. Thank you so everyone for the hospitality. Oh, that's good. Which was nice. That's good. Well, thank you so much for coming in this morning. Just wanted to wish everyone a really Merry Christmas. Everyone really deserves a decent break. If you're working, I still hope you get some beautiful time with your family and friends. Awesome. You too.

Thanks so much. Thanks a lot. ZDM's Fletchbond and Megan. Now, this is a classic example of just because you can eat something, you shouldn't, don't need to. Like an ice cream cone? I don't do ice cream cones. They're disgusting. You know this about me.

I don't eat ice cream cones. I hate them. Even waffle cones, eh. I'll eat a trumpet cone. I'm leaving. I'm calling it out. I just wanted our friendships to survive the year But I feel like you're treading into very

Thin territory The best part about a Trumpet or a cornetto I just said I love a trumpet Because of the chocolatey bottom at the bottom If that wasn't there I wouldn't eat it See I prefer when you first Get to the cone. Yep.

And a trumpet. That Goldilocks zone of where you get the top. That's good. It's that middle third. Why don't you like the... What's not to like about the cone? It's very plain. It's very plain. And especially a normal ice cream cone. Yuck. I'll hiff it. I'll give it to the seagulls.

Gah! Disgusting. Yuck. I'll eat as far down as to get the remainder of the ice cream that's below the rim or surface and then that's it. I'm out with the cone. But if you get a fully packed cone, are you going to eat... If something squirted

ice cream right down into the cone. Or I'd suck out the ice cream. And then ditch the cone. And I don't like wafers. I'm just thinking, I don't even think, I've seen you eat dessert, but it's like a plated dessert. Yeah. But I don't think

I've ever seen you on an ice cream. Eat a cone. On an ice cream. I've never seen you on an ice cream. Yeah. We must have stopped

at Pocono for an ice cream in one of our many sojourns. I may have when you weren't looking through the cone out the window. I definitely have never seen you eat a cone.

I don't do it. I'm appalled. Well, these are also edible, but again, you don't need to and you shouldn't have to. It's probably more, I would say, compostable. Right. Berlin's new public transport company, sorry, Berlin's public transport company have new tickets and they're made of hemp, so they're completely biodegradable. Oh yeah, I don't think you're adding that to your smoothie.

Putting some flaxseed in, some spirulina. And a ripped up train ticket. And then putting it in the Nutribullet. Yeah. It's a mixture of rice paper and hemp. Okay. And it's completely, I would say compostable is the far better word for it. Yeah, right.

But they're saying it could be edible. Could be. And they say don't bother smoking it. It's got zero CBD or THC in it. Yeah, right. But they're saying it could be edible. Could be. And they say don't bother smoking it. It's got zero CBD or THC in it. Right, okay. Nothing in there that's going to get you high.

Right. But you can 100% compost it. People, no, I was going to say people will try to smoke it. Yeah, 100%.

Or maybe they'll put the stuff with the THC and the CBD in the middle. I don't know. And then, yeah. I don't know anything about it. Would you want to eat something that's been in one of those ticket machines?

Oh, maybe the ticket machine didn't freak me out as much as just thinking how many times people touch it or... Yeah. You have to touch it against things or... Yeah. Yeah, like I wouldn't eat my hop card. No, you wouldn't. No, you'd snap a card. I wouldn't eat my hop card.

I've touched it too many times. Yeah. And it's touched, but it's been tapped against things. I wouldn't eat that. But you could eat this card if you wanted. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. What's the matter? Are you hungry?

I'm so hungry. And then I patted my tummy and there was far too much jiggle. You patted your tummy? I patted my tummy. I'm really hungry. I just looked over and you were patting your tummy. I was like, okay, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. Calm down, tummy.

Shh, shh, shh, shh, shush. Calm down, tummy. Shush, shush, shush, shush. You go back to sleep. ZM and Countdown's Christmas Holiday Helpers. Oh, oh, oh. I don't know if this is going to help your hunger. Christmas. Christmas dinner talk. Oh, yeah.

Marco joins us. Good morning, Marco. Hi. Hey, how are you doing? Good, good. Right, it's our Countdown Christmas Helpers competition. We've been asking people about their Christmas dinner disasters, their feasts that have gone wrong.

Tell us what happened. Yeah, so we had Christmas over at our place. My folks, kind of some of those people that are scared to not have enough food for everyone, so they tend to overbuy food. Anyway, my dad bought these two beef rolls, had the whole

family over, and he really went to town on it. You know, he spiced it, left it in the fridge. It was in this netting kind of thing. Rested it, and when the day came, put it in early in the morning, cooked it up. everyone was bloody hungry and you know sitting around the table took it out of the oven rested it about 30 minutes and

when he started cutting it the first piece was just fat and he kept cutting and the more he cut, it was just fat. So it turned out he bought fat rolls. Like just rolled up fat. Oh, no. That was kind of the only meat we had. So, yeah, the man's face was absolutely mortified. How do you buy it? I didn't know you could buy a fat roll. A roll of fat. It would just be rolled up for maybe packaging.

Oh, right. Yeah. We think it's used in processing sausages. Oh, okay, right. So if you make homemade sausages or something, you just buy these fat rolls. Okay, Marco, please don't tell me what's in sausages. But you've got to have a lot of fat in a sausage. Oh, do you?

You've got to have a lot of fat in sausage and you've got to have a lot of fat in mince. You've got to have a fat sauce. You buy the lean mince, you're ripping yourself off. Yeah, right. You've got to have a lot of fat and sausage and you've got to have a lot of fat and mince. You've got to have a fat sauce. You buy the lean mince, you're ripping yourself off. Yeah, right. You've got to have a fat and mince. Well, Marco, what an absolute disaster. No meat for Christmas Day.

We have for you a $500 countdown voucher. Oh, that's awesome. Congratulations. So you can enjoy the magic of Christmas with Countdown and maybe you be in charge of heading to Countdown and spending that $500 and getting some good meat. Yeah. And even though we're still open for

registrations on this as well. So if you've had a disastrous Christmas dinner something go horribly wrong you can still register to win $500. Go to ZM online. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. If you've walked down Queen Street and seen the Smith & Coe window display, it is a

real treat. For those that haven't ever seen it or don't live in Auckland, it's like every year it's something different. It's like animated elves or they create a different world. Yeah, they do. And it moves and you walk down the windows and read the story that it's telling you. Yeah, it's pretty

amazing. Well, it's amazing enough to be in the world's top five Christmas window displays. Ooh. We got fifth place. That's pretty good. Five? Who beat us? Well, first place went to the Macy's store in New York.

Okay. So. I feel like they must do something like a hundred foot Christmas tree or something. They do. Scenes from the Harriet Beecher Stowe's story, Uncle Tom's Cabin. Right.

So they do the story thing as well. The second place was Selfridges Window Display. This is in London. They had that TV show about them, eh? Selfridges? Yeah, it was Ari Gold from Entourage. Yes, yes. Yeah, he went there and opened a, yeah, Mr. Selfridges.

So they've actually had controversial ones in the past. Oh, okay. Yeah. With the, oh, I don't even want to say it. I don't want to get cancelled. No, no, don't say it. Yeah. Not this time of year.

You've almost made it through the year. I'd say now's the time to just play it safe. Yeah, yeah. Play it safe on that one. So yeah, we're in the top five. So hooray. Smith & Co is in another great reason. You all pass it all the time.

Have you ever stopped? All the time. Every year. I always check it out. And do you know what? It's Christmas the other year. I didn't think you did. I think you just scoot past, say, Bar Humbug.

It's always packed. Like, people always stop and take it. It is pretty cool. Yeah. Worth checking out if you do get to Auckland over the new year because I think they leave it up for a few weeks. Yeah, it gets left up for a while. Because they must pay a fortune for that.

Like, you'd have to leave it up a few weeks to get your money's worth. Oh, exactly. Exactly. Do you know, I might start a beef because the managing director of Smith & Co is a young man called Edward Coey from the Coey part. I might say that it was between me and him

to be the managing director of Smith & Coey. And you lost out. And I lost out because of some skellingtons in my closet. Skellingtons. Skellingtons. Skellingtons. Skellingtons. Skellingtons. Skellington is cuter.

It's very cute. It's very cute. I've got some skellingtons in my closet. Yeah, and he hustled you out of the business and you don't get anything. It was a real succession vibe between him and I as to who was going to be the leader of, the manager and director of Smith & Co.

Have you ever tried being in there and just saying, can I have the Smith discount? Yes. But even with the Smith discount, I struggle to afford Pings and Dar. ZM's Flash Warner Megan. Play ZM. Friday Flashback.

Flashback, Flashback. All right, it's my pick for Friday Flashback today, and I thought I would show everybody that I am not the Grinch that stole Christmas, because I'm often associated with such Grinchy Christmas feelings, like just giving vouchers for Christmas. Better than nothing. Exactly.

And not participating in Christmas. But today, I'm playing... Flying in and out of your family Christmas. You do a fly in, fly out of the fly phone. I'm going back for two days. Someone's got to feed the cat. Right. Do you want to feed the cat?

I'm not here either. Yes, exactly. Well, I'm in and out as well. I can feed the cat. I thought about taking the cat, but... I bet he'd be pretty cute. He won't speak to me if I lock him in an aeroplane again. I've decided

to play a Christmas song today for Friday Flashback. And you would have to say this is New Zealand's favourite Christmas song because... Weirdly, yeah. It's only big in... Is it only New Zealand and, like, Australasia? It's... New Zealand specifically. Yeah, like, if you went to

America and said, Snoopy's Christmas, they'd be like, well, they know Snoopy. They're aware of Snoopy. But they've got no idea about the Royal Guardsman Snoopy thing. Uh-huh. But it got released here in New Zealand and sold 100,000 copies in 1967, which would have been massive. Is it 1967?

1967. I thought you were going to say like the 80s or something. No, 1967. Are you kidding? Oh. Yeah. Yeah. And it was that Christmas that it was released.

Wow. Okay. There's no chart info here. Number one, New Zealand, Australia. But yeah, nothing else. Canada, number 39. It reads number 39 for that. So there are literally like the majority of the Western world

would never ever have heard this Christmas song. No. But it's a New Zealand Christmas classic. Absolutely. All right, the Royal Guardsmen. I mean, what business does a Beagle have fighting a World War I bad guy, you know? Yeah.

I'd love to have even seen him get that plane off the ground. To be honest, factually impossible. Lax the thumbs. It's your Friday flashback. See you then. To do it again Was the night before Christmas Forty below When Snoopy went up In search of his foe Despite the red barren And fiercely they fought

With ice on his wings Snoopy knew he was caught Christmas bells Those Christmas bells Rang up from the land Asking peace of all the world and goodwill to man The baron had Snoopy dead in his sights He reached for the trigger to pull it up tight

Why he didn't shoot, well, we'll never know. Or was it the bells from the village below? Christmas bells, those Christmas bells, ringing through the land. Bringing peace to all the world And goodwill to them The Baron made Snoopy fly to the Rhine And forced him to land behind the enemy lines Snoopy was certain that this was the end When the Baron cried out

Merry Christmas, my friend! The Baron then offered a holiday toast And Snoopy, our hero, saluted his host And then with a roar, they were both on their way Each knowing they'd meet on some other day Christmas bells, those Christmas bells Ringing through the land Bringing peace to all the world And goodwill to man

Christmas bells, those Christmas bells Ringing through the land It's your Friday flashback on ZM, Snoopy's Christmas. There's actually a six-minute version of that. I thought we were playing the six-minute version. No. I will maintain my Christmas theme and my giving Christmas nature soon before 9 o'clock with the 12 Days of Fletchmas. You can register if you'd like to take part in the last one today. ZM Online, just tell us why you're on the naughty or the nice list.

Some feedback on the song. Generally positive. Fletch, my family hates me every year for playing this song, but we've got it on record. Oh, that's so hipster. That's hipster. It would have gone through a real, you know, time when that wasn't cool, but now it's cool again. Yeah.

Every time I have no regret playing this. Now it's Christmas. Fletch, you genius. Yeah. Somebody said. There you go. Say a bit of Christmassy. All-time favourite Christmas song. Somebody said they had to sing that at the end of year primary school assemblies. Oh, wow. A lot of words. A lot of words. And quite the pace.

You want a slow song of all the children are going to be singing together or otherwise it just becomes a jumbled out of time mess. I bet that sounded awful. But I bet parents had to go along and pretend it was great. Videos clogging up phones everywhere of children singing that song all out of time

and what not. We want to talk about themed gifts. Perhaps, for example, Fletch, you receive a lot of cat based. To be honest. It's faded a bit. It's faded because I've been quite vocal in the fact that for a period of years there, people would always buy me cat related anything.

Yeah, right. Anything. It was cat themed. And you'd be like, thanks and pretend to like it but it got to the stage where I had to say guys stop this. Yeah right. You're just buying me stupid stuff with cats on it. So a psychologist

has looked into the whole idea of people always giving you themed gifts and Lucy Bessford a psychotherapist and relationship expert has said people who cling to the idea that you still like certain things are unconsciously preserving their old relationship with you. Oh, like people that use the same joke all the time?

Would that be the same thing? That might just be they don't have many jokes in the repertoire. Right. But so oftentimes it'll be a relationship like a parent who has, especially around Christmas, has a happy memory of you being a child and bringing joy and all of that. So they might be like continuing to give a themed gift. Right.

But maybe you're over the thing. Carwin at the social media desk, have you told your mum this? Or is this, like if she's listening, is this going to be news to her? Or has she stopped now? She's probably listening. So hi mum. Hi Carwen's mum. Carwen, this isn't the time to do family shoutouts. If it is, I'd just like to give a shoutout

to my mum. Oh yeah, my mum's listening too. Bev's listening. Anybody else want to give a shoutout to their mum? Bev's listening. All the mums. All the mums of the show. So your mum always got you the same themes. So like when I had, like it was usually when I was younger when I had like a real obsession for something.

So at one point I really loved owls. All of my presents would be like owl themed. Owls. The bird with the big eyes and the turning head. Yeah, well, that's not what I was saying. What did she give you last year? Did she give you something owl related? No, the owl's obsession is dwindled.

Taylor Swift now? Yeah. Well, it's always been Taylor Swift. Well, you said she might be listening. Tell her what you want. Do you want something from the adult toy megastore or something? No. I don't think she's at that stage of her life. Okay, I want to just... No, she has already got me stuff that I want.

So that's great. But is there a theme now to your life that she sticks to? No, I don't think so. Maybe just helpful things, which is nice. Right. Helpful things? But I'm like, oh, I don't have a sewing kit. And then she's like, well, I guess I'll get you one for Christmas. Like a wall planner, 2022 wall planner.

You can write on it. One of my favourite ever gifts from her was when she bought me a, what are those? Like a sandwich press. Panini press. Yeah, when I went to uni. A panini press? Panini press is a great present to be laying in with. Yeah, it's super handy. Not the one with the lines,

because I don't like it when my panini gets lines in it. Why not? I like the lines. I like a flat panini press. You're talking George Foreman grill now. Well, no, that can be a panini press, just as two hot surfaces pressing together. Yeah, correct.

I don't want a grated pattern on my panini. Right. Is it because you like to cook pancakes on your panini, Bruce? Yeah, because then you can use the press for multiple things, the hot

plates. You can. So that's just a word there for any manufacturers of hot plates. Pressing together. You're really

cutting people out of your market when you put a grill on it. See, my uncle, just back onto the theme gifts, my uncle loves

Volkswagen combi vans. If I ever get him anything, it's a Kombi van. Right. But then there's got to be a point where he's like, oh, I just want a nice, a cool gift. I don't need another toy car. Another Kombi van.

I'm, you know, 84 or however old he is. He's not 84. Grow up. Hey, I don't even know if he's 60 yet. He's a young buck. But yeah, we were wondering this morning, if you are running a theme, like everybody buys you a gift to a theme.

And maybe tell us if you're over it or maybe you're not, maybe you love it. And if you're over it, we can say your name, your full name and the area you're from in the hope that the word gets around that you're done with that theme now. Maybe you even want to share with us your new theme. So if people always buy you this similar

type gift, 0800 DARS at M 9696, you can text in as well. I remember growing up as a grandparent who loved elephants and dolphins. Huge dolphin vibe. Huge dolphin vibe in the late 90s. Tell us your gift theme. ZDM Splits, Will and Megan. Your theme, are you running a theme?

People that get the same gifts. Yeah. A psychologist has weighed in on this. Yeah. So they've said it's a relationship that someone's trying to maintain if they felt they had a better relationship with you when you were like a kid. So it's something you were into when you were a kid.

But they said the way to deal with it is if it's this is pretty ruthless, but if it's like your grandparents suck it up, because they're not going to be around forever, take the gift, put a smile on your face. But if it's someone that you're going to be, that's going to be around a lot longer, be honest, but gently honest.

And be compassionate to them. But do you think these people know, like, you're not a kid anymore? And that you might want something? So I've got to keep telling my Auntie Barbara I don't need the latest Fisher and Price bloody kids phone, or she got me a kitchen last Christmas. Oh, that's cool.

A whole kitchen. Is that one of the ones that makes a sizzle noise? Yes. Yeah, okay. And I can shut the little doors and I take out a little plastic pot. Yeah. You do love that. I know.

But it wears off and I'm like, where do I put all this? Yeah. I don't have the heart to tell her. Yeah. Some text messages in on the sort of the gift theme that you're sticking to. Someone messaged in, I feel every gay in

New Zealand will relate to this. Anything with a rainbow on it. What? Lube for Christmas? No, not rainbows. Okay.

I can always tell when it's lube for Christmas. You can tell the bottle under the tree. I've got my favorites. Bit of weight and the pump sticks out at the top.

Yeah. Yeah. And you've got to be careful with it. The bottles won't last forever. But every gay in New Zealand will relate to this. Anything rainbow is a gift, and it's nearly always tacky trash. But your heart's in the right place.

Yeah, but you don't buy a gay tacky trash. It's going straight in the bin. Right. Yeah. Okay. But that's like... But then the thought that's... Yeah.

That is making an effort, right? Yeah. Someone said, I always get Lego or Star Wars stuff, but that's fine. I'm absolutely fine with it and I wish it to continue for a long time. See, you're a grown man

and you'd love Legos. I love Legos. Do you say Legos or Lego? Lego. There's no S, is there? Yeah. I don't see. If you put an S in,

you put it in the middle and you say Eshkol. Anonymous, what do you always get gifted? What theme? Oh, hi. So I'm a gynecology nurse and I constantly give vagina themed gifts. You see enough of those day to day.

I know. And I'm not mad about it actually. I quite enjoy it because people get quite creative with it. Yeah, I know. My friend's got a mug. It's like a pottery mug, but it's got a big vagina on the front of it. The vagina, the handle. No, the handle is just a normal handle, but the front of it is like, you know, the...

Really? You know what they look like. Well, she does. I haven't seen one for years. That's my dream. I would love that. Well, you'd love a pot of... Run us through some of the other vagina-themed gifts you've received lately.

So I got a vagina ashtray. No. And my friend this year has ordered from eBay. She's making me a big Volvo diamond art. This is amazing. Goodness me. Wow. But you're embracing these gifts. Wait, with the ashtray, where does the cigarette go?

Yeah, I know. That's why I cringed. I bet they do. I bet they do. Yeah. Oh, my. Wow. I bet they do. I bet they do. Yeah. Oh, my. What a fascinating job. Yeah, it's definitely not boring, that's for sure.

Hmm. Well, Merry Christmas. Have you had to estimate how many you've seen? Oh, good call. How many a day for how many days? What would your number be? I think I've probably seen three a day for the last seven years. Why, do you have a favourite?

They do get complimented if you've got a nice one. It is talked about with Nafro. I don't want to brag, but my wife's been complimented. Oh, okay. I would be interested to see. Okay. Anyway, well, let's leave that there. That's a merry Christmas.

My other friend actually, actually, I must have, my other friend, the gynecologist told us she had a vagina of a woman half her age. Is that a compliment? It's a compliment. It's a compliment. Okay. Would a fawn, if you were a woman, do you think you'd get a compliment? No.

No. At least you're honest. No, I wouldn't. I don't believe I'd get a compliment. Thank you very much, Anonymous. Enough of that. Julia, good morning. Good morning.

How do I follow vagina season? Well, I don't know, Julia. Let's see what you've got. Flamingos. Flamingos. Yep, I feel like that doesn't follow vaginas, but here we go. Julia, I've got to ask, are you talking to us on the toilet? No, she's in the waiting room of the gynecologist.

She's just getting undressed. No, I'm in a house that's having renovations done. That's why it's a bit echoing. Sorry. Oh, okay. I hope you're going to put a roof on. Julia, why do people always buy you flamingos? Because I love them.

Okay, what, do you have garden ornaments? Yes, I do have garden ornaments, actually. I've got everything. I've got pijas, I've got Christmas decorations, I've got wall art, I've got cuddly toys. It is one of those things when you walk into a gift store, there's always a flamingo-y thing. So I can see that it's very easy to buy for you.

Yeah. What was that, sorry? It's very easy to buy for you. Yeah. What was that, sorry? It's very easy to buy for you. Gift stores always have flamingo things. I feel like that gift store, Ico Ico, has like half, at least half of all stock

is flamingo based. Yes. Yeah. That's what it is. Yeah. And the other half is sloth. Yeah. Julia, thanks.

You're called Lisa. What do people always buy you? What themed gift? Well, I tried beekeeping a few years ago, and I managed to kill about four or five hives, full murder situation. And people are still buying me bee gifts,

which is just like a reminder of the murders that I've committed. Of the murder, the genocide you committed. Absolute bee atrocities. It's scathing every time. Okay, Lisa Polpot. absolute bee atrocities. It's scathing every time. Okay, Lisa Polpot. I'm going for Lisa Starlin. Lisa Starlin.

I was going to compare her to a dictator. You know that when all the bees die in the world, we all die. She didn't do it on purpose. Actually, I made it worse. Yeah, right. Merry Christmas. And you're expecting more bee-based stuff this Christmas? Every year.

Every year. Wow. You'll never live that down. I will never forget. I'll never forget. They know you killed them, right? They don't think that you've got this thriving, Ibarist career?

No, no, they know. Because when they started asking for honey, obviously I had to explain why there was no honey gifts. Oh, you're right. Have you thought about making amends and, like, learning how to do it properly? Actually, we're not a legitimate cause. We've got, like, a certificate and everything, but it's still shit. So I guess it's just not a skill I have.

It's not for you, Lisa. It's not for you. No. No, I'm thinking I need to move on. Yeah. Yep, five years later and I think it's alright. To something that you just can't kill. Lisa, thank you for sharing this morning. Some messages in. My mum's

given me cash ever since I threw a fit on my eighth birthday because she bought me a teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle toy instead of a Transformer toy that I wanted and she said, well, you'll never get another gift from me and she hasn't. She just gives me money every time. That's what kids do.

You just suck it up. Tell them they're ungrateful and say, I thought I raised you better than this. Put a lot of blame on yourself. See, I wouldn't mind just cash but then maybe that is, like after years of that,

it's actually hurting. Yeah. After all this time. Every Christmas I buy my friend everything I can find that has a wood pigeon on it. It's been going on for years and now his house is full of wood pigeon crap

and he's feeling like it's not helping him find a girlfriend and I just laugh and keep buying him more wood pigeon things. I would say that I was broken into and all they took is the wood pigeons. Huge fans of the Giridoo. Yeah, and I'd be like, I'm looking out for them on Trade Me. Like, you know, I'm so gutted.

Also, if this was a Christmas rom-com, this girl that's like buying this guy all these wood pigeon gifts and he's like, it's, you know, holding me back romantically. Yeah. They get together in the end. Yeah, because they're snowed in in their house. Yeah. And yeah, all the powers out.

And he looks around and he's like, she gave me the wood pigeon gifts to ward off other women. Yeah. Because she likes me. And she's like, I didn't even know I was doing it but look at all this love I've shown her. Yeah.

And then they smooch a room. Is there room for a sequel there? Um, yes. They go away on holiday and leave one of their kids at home with the wood pigeons. Yes. Home Alone.

Kitter Doo. Sure. That sounds like it would get some New Zealand money funding in an absolute second. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about that song that always gets played around Christmas.

Baby, It's Cold Outside. Oh, yeah. You know, there's been lots of versions of it. I'm just looking at the Wikipedia page. Has our friend Michael Bublé done one? Michael Bublé, yes, did a version with Idina Menzel. Oh, okay. Is that the one you want me to play in the background?

Well, I mean. You've got Michael Bublé and Idina Menzel. I know I said I wasn't the Christmas Grinch, but I did just play a Christmas song. I feel that's enough. That was enough. Lady Antebellum, or just, what are they called now? Lady A did a version.

Willie Nelson did a version with Nora Jones. Oh, okay. That's a good, that sounds like it could be a promising. Tom Jones has done one. Ray Charles, Dean Martin, like the Glee cast. Eminem. I'm going to be stoked. The Glee cast have done it.

But it's recently recorded with John Legend and Kelly Clarkson and some lyrics were changed because they were deemed a little problematic. A girl wants to go home and the guy's like making all these excuses. That's right. You're not really going anywhere. So I've learnt the history of the song. Okay.

Written by a man called Frank Losa. And him and his wife wrote it together. Lynn Garland was her name. And it was written with the express purpose of indicating to their guests that it's time for them to leave the party. This is you. This is the 1944 version of me starting to tidy up around people.

Yeah, you get out the big black rubbish sack. And people are like, oh, do you want a hand? I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, it's good. And then I start doing the dishes. Because the dishes are something you do when you want everybody to leave. You get out the vacuum cleaner. We're just sitting on the couch.

Yeah, and I'm like, can I just get you to lift your feet? Yep, and I'll vacuum it. I'll turn the lights off while you're sitting in a room. Have you got your credit card hooked up to your Uber? Is that all ready? Do you need the Wi-Fi? Go, and then I lock all the doors. And then I'm like, all right, I'm off to bed.

Night. And then I go to bed. And then. And wake up in the morning, they're still there. And I'm like, what part of this. Did you not get? Don't you guys get? So the first time they debuted this song, Baby It's Cold Outside,

him and his wife Lynn were having a housewarming party in New York City. And they, he said to her, we're going to do a performance. And it is to indicate to the guests that it's time to leave. However, it was so popular and people liked it so much, they were like, do it again. And he's like, well, this did not have the intended consequence. I want to go to bed. And then they started getting invited to parties

just to play the song towards the end of events. But they said that would be, they'd think we'll play and then we'll leave. But no. And did they have like good voices? Yeah. They were like singers. Apparently they were like, yeah. You know when you see like an oldie time movie and a

hey, should we sing a song? Sing. And then they sing a song and everybody really loves it. It's like that. But can you imagine that going down to the party now? Nah. Even when someone's like,

especially in New Zealand, you'd be like, who do you think you are? Pulls the guitar out. Yeah. And you're like, okay, I challenge you

not to do Oasis. And they're like, put the guitar back. Put the guitar back then. But they, yeah, wrote the song. Wow.

For the express purpose of getting people to leave their party. Which sounds fantastic to me. Fact of the day day day day day It's time for Vaughan Smith's Hot Gossip.

Well, the latest with Vaughan Smith, the spicy hot gossip. Yeah, so there might be a new feud on Sex and the City. You've lost the story, haven't you? You're literally, it's the last day of work. I'm just going to close my laptop. I think I'm done with this. Would you like to cross the car

when at the social media desk? I believe she's all over this stuff. She's all over the Sex and the City stuff. She's all over the Sex and the City stuff. Do you know what the new feud is on Sex and the City? I closed my lap. I'm not opening that again for business this year. You are...

The worst sort of human. Tell them what you really think. I mean, it's the last day, right? No. Yeah. Yes, so a little extra, like a person that's in the background of Sex and the City. Well, don't call them a little extra.

Well... All the big movie stars start as extras, don't they? Do they? So sorry. I don't know. I'm not an actor. I wish I was. So an extra on the set has said that there is a new feud brewing on the show.

Between who? So. Do you not have the story either? No, I do. Just shut your laptop. We don't need to. No, go on. I do have it. either? No, I do. Just shut your laptop. We don't need to. No, go on. I do have it.

Between... I'm... So... You're just putting me off. You wanted me to act. I improvised it. Yeah, sorry. Okay, so it's between Cynthia Nixon and Nicole Ari Parker.

Right. Who is Nicole Ari Parker? Executive Intern, you watch Sex and the City. I haven't watched the new season. Oh my God, why did we have the replacement?

She's one of Charlotte's friends. Oh, okay, right. Yeah. And there's some beef. I'm so glad we wasted two minutes on this.

We still got there. We still got there. Yeah, we got there, didn't we? That's what counts, right? No further questions. Did we give up? I did.

I did. I shut my laptop. So it was submitted to Dumois which is like this Instagram account where people submit insider knowledge

or like gossip about all the big stars. Right. And they're pretty reliable sources to be honest. So I've got a good track record.

Okay well thanks for the latest Vaughan Smith spicy hot gossip. Yeah. With bonus information from Carmen at the social media desk. Thank you. As all thanks to Swish. Say it with Swish

this Christmas. Go to heyswish.com and get 10% off by using the code ZM10. Next on the show, we want to talk about how you wrap up conversations. Also, you just opened up your laptop, so you lied. I'm shutting it again. Okay, right. It was just so I could thank my sponsor, Swish. Yeah, thanks for that.

How do you wrap up text convos? Do you just leave it like people hanging? Do you just stop talking? Do you use an emoji? Do you say something? Okay. I just stop. You just don't reply.

Yeah, I think we're done, and then they pick up that we're done. Is that not what everybody does? Well, we're going to delve into this next. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. I've put my laptop completely on the floor. Oh my god. I'm done. You're being paid. Ice coffee. You're being paid until nine o'clock. Please be professional. Okay, we got talking about this

before the show and social media desk expert aficionado, Carl Ween, was saying she struggles with a friend who doesn't know how to end a conversation that is not spoken. Right. So this is chatting on Messenger.

Are you putting words into her mouth? No, I thought you said she was all... I don't struggle with it. She struggles with it. No, she doesn't struggle with it. I just thought it's a different approach. So I have a new friend. You've got a new friend. I know how it came. You made you made an adult friend how did you make this new friend we just met through

instagram like i have already this is a dude no it's not no no no yeah have you met her i mean i know them in real life oh carl when it's a 50 year old truck driver he's he's catfishing you you're gonna be on your skin loose did it look like a mask did you stay socially distanced and so you were like there's something not quite. It was a dude under a mask. I met them through work. We got talking on Instagram. Okay.

Is what I'm saying. Right. Strong manager. I'm very worried. Okay. And so what's the issue with conversations? So it's just, it's not, I guess it's not an issue. I just thought it was interesting that this person ends their, so like if we're having

a conversation back and forth, whatever, if they want the conversation to end they're just like okay i'm gonna go now goodbye that's what they say when you're talking to someone because you have to get off the phone to do something but if you're having a text conversation you can message and then it can be left while you do something and you come back to it and keep going but this is why messenger chat and i i messaged i message as well you can do same. It's just a double tap for a heart or a thumbs up, and that ends a convo. That's perfect. Or I might chuck in a ha-ha, because I always use those instead of full stops anyway. I'll give it this.

I'll just give it an actual thumbs up in conversation, not just a react to their last message, but a thumbs up. That's, I'm out. But if you give her a thumbs up, would she then reply to that and say goodbye? Yeah. Yeah, so if I'll to that and say goodbye? Yeah. Yeah, so if I just be like, yeah, cool. And the conversation is naturally ended. In person, right, you wouldn't be like, okay, goodbye.

You're just, I guess, oh, I guess. In person, you're far more likely about, see you later. Do you just turn your back and start walking away from your friends? I just ghost people in real life. And everyone's like, okay, Carlin's finished that conversation. So we ran a poll on Instagram. Do you prefer to end a text convo

or just stop replying? And 78% of people just stop replying. Yeah. So that's it. I just stop. Yeah, you just stop replying. Yeah, done. Yeah.

And then you, okay, it's over. Yeah. Unless they left a question hanging. Yeah. But if there are no questions, if it's a statement, you just stop talking. Or just double tap and like it. Yeah. And the conversation's done.

Ha ha react. Yeah. But that's still 22% of awkward people. Are like, okay, see you later. Great chatting. Yeah. Like a phone conversation. And then you might say, okay, and then go, okay, bye.

Okay, bye. And then you go, thanks. See you, bye. And they keep talking. Yeah. Yeah, right. And then they might be like, then go okay, bye. And then you go thanks. See you, bye. And they keep talking. Yeah. Yeah, right. And then they might be like, oh, hold on just a minute. And then they think of something else they want to talk about.

And then you're back in and then you've got to do the awkward goodbyes again. Well, if you're worried about that, Eva, 78%, that's a vast majority. A huge majority that you can just like end a conversation with. Yeah, leave it hanging. No awkwardness required. The 12 Days of Fletchmas. Well, it's the last day for the 12 Days of Fletchmas. There's only one present under the tree.

It's really little. I'll get it. I'll get it out of the way. You go get it now. I'll go get it now. You go get it now. You don't have to wait for me. We welcome to the show and on...

Which one are we going first? Is she naughty or nice? DL is on the nice list. I'll just change this. Don't worry, I forgive you, Jared. It's the last day. Who's on the nice list? The nice list. Hello, DL. How are you?

Hello, good. How are you?? Hello. Good. How are you? You're really good. Why are you on The Nice List? Earlier in the year, I had just had a baby, and my husband got home from work, and he said, oh, this trip I've wanted to go on for years has come up. I finally get to go. It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, oh, here we go.

He's like, I finally get to go to Antarctica. And I was like, oh, okay. We. He's like, I finally get to go to Antarctica. And I was like, oh, okay. We've just had a baby. Oh, my God. Like, that is a once in a, that's something that not everybody gets to go to. I know. No. So I was like, oh, yeah, well, I guess you'll go after Christmas,

so you'll be there for his first Christmas. So that'll be okay. Like, oh, yeah, that'll work. And it turns out he's working in my queue for Christmas now anyway, but at least he still gets to go to Antarctica. So you're on the nice list because even though you've got a new baby, you're saying to your husband you can still go to Antarctica. Yeah.

But get photos of the penguins, eh? I said that. I said, could you bring one home for the baby? And he's like, oh, you're not allowed to. You get a toy from the Antarctic Centre maybe. Yeah. Oh, that is really nice

because everybody knows how hard that is. I'd love, oh man, I'd love to go to Antarctica. Same. Yeah, definitely once in a lifetime.

Yeah. And yeah, wow. And you, and I'm sure you won't, wink, wink, hang this over him forever. For quite some time.

Yeah, there it is. All right. Who's on the naughty list? Well, it's always good when somebody's anonymous and they're on the naughty list. Good morning. Good morning. Why are you on the naughty list? So I am a private nanny.

Okay. And earlier I was working for a family, short term, who were quite toxic people, not very nice at all, treated me very horribly, had a bunch of kids that they genuinely didn't care about, only really wanted them around to look pretty and cute for their friends and then, like, keep them out of sight the rest of the time. Oh, my God.

This is like a Christmas movie with some, yeah some kids yeah wow yeah so just not very nice people and so um i didn't cope very well so i handed my notice which didn't go down well with the mom at all she's like swearing at me telling me i was abandoning her children and all that sort of stuff. She's their mother. Yeah. Wow. And so I very passive aggressively, I knew her email address, and so I signed her up for a whole bunch of parenting newsletters online. And probably to about 40 websites. So to this day, she's probably receiving unsolicited parenting advice.

Oh, wow. That's like your... That's a good naughty list. Yeah. No. But that's a good, like, you were naughty to that specific person, but beneficial. Wow.

It makes me so sad to hear that people would have kids for that reason. Yeah. Yeah. But then you meet some kids, eh, and you're like... Yeah, right. What were the kids like? Oh, not great. They'd not really been, like,

interacted with or talked to, so they were just really, like, naughty and couldn't really talk and stuff. It was kind of sad, actually. It is actually really sad. That makes me sad. Okay, well, we've now got another hard decision

because I love the Antarctica one. That's so nice. Because imagine, would Sade let you go to Antarctica if she just had a newborn, if one of the kids were a newborn? That's a good question. I don't know

if she would have. I feel like you wouldn't, though. I wouldn't have just gone anywhere. But Antarctica. I know. You know my favorite thing about Antarctica? Per square kilometer, less people than anywhere in the world. Yeah, less people.

There's no one down there. I mean, I know you shoved into a Scott Basel with them or whatever. I love the naughty signing someone up to the parenting newsletters. Good luck. I don't have to put. I'm going to go nice today. Anonymous, I did love that story, but DL, sorry. I think that's so nice.

I think it's so nice too. Wait, so he's working MIQ and then after Christmas he's going to Antarctica? Yeah. Wow. Okay, well, congratulations. The last present for the 12 Days of Fletchmas Under the Tree is all yours. Vaughn is opening it now and it says on there. I mean, he's in no hurry. This is cool.

You have won a Weber Jumbo Joe charcoal barbecue. This is a charcoal barbecue that you can, like, sit on a tabletop. Or you can take that to the beach. Totally, totally. Very transportable. These are cool. $200. All yours. Well done, DL. that to the beach. Totally, totally. Very transportable. Also cool, 200 bucks. All yours. Well done, DL.

Awesome. Thank you. Congratulations. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. We're joined in studio by Ross Boss. Good morning. How are you? Good.

How are you? Excuse me. I'm good. This radio show has built a pretty strong listener family over the years, seven years on ZM, and many years before at that other place that we don't mention. So naturally, some people have been wondering where Megan's been the past couple of weeks. I thought it appropriate that I come in to answer that question this morning.

ZM's one of many radio stations here at NZME, and from time to time, we make changes to our lineups as we head into the new year. Today, we're announcing a few of those across some of our stations including here at ZM. Starting early next year Megan has accepted a role at our sister station The Hits which means after seven years as the breakfast show on ZM the Fletch Warner Megan show comes to an end and Megan has taken the opportunity to have an extended break before starting her new show on February 1. Megan's brought so much to the show and the station over the years, taking us all on the journey of her life. And it's for that reason listeners love her so dearly.

I do hope you'll join her for the next part of her career. The Hits is a great station with some really great people and our loss is most definitely their gain. To Megan, there's so much love here for you at ZM, not least from the three people in this room. Yeah, it's, well, as Ross said, I would like to correct him, round that up to eight. Swedish rounding.

Yeah. Eight years working with Megan, arriving at five, half past five for some of us, maybe me, and specifically that. But it is not a time of the day where you can work with people that you don't like. Some people have tried and it has destroyed them. So yeah, it's been, yeah. There's not too many people in this industry

that I would call lifelong or long-term friends. That's probably on me. I seem to be the common denominator in that, but probably the people in this room, actually. We've had some incredible times and adventures over the years. I mean, year eight and adventures over the years. I mean, year eight here and over the road. It's been a long time.

We've learnt. We've laughed. And we've certainly loved. Fletch doesn't like saying loved, but we do love each other very much. So, yeah, it's a big change. Yeah. Big change. She has just crossed the hall hall so we all do look forward

to seeing her next year. We'll share more details on next year soon but I can announce today that Hayley will be joining, Hayley Sproul will be joining the ZM Breakfast Show in 2022

back in mid-January.