ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 17th February 2021

Episode Date: February 16, 2021

Top 6: Punishments  Jackie Weaver!  What did you steal from work?  Community Notices  New Dating Term  Am I a Bad Person!?  Vaughan's Trip to the ParkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fletchmore and Megan with Hayley Sproul podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Download the Maccas app, buy five McCafe coffees and get one free. Well, I'll tell you what, one of those McCafe coffees you go well with. What's that? All this baking you've been talking about that you've been doing at home. Yeah, I'm starting to be suspicious if it's true or not. Oh my God, I had three cinnamon scrolls yesterday.

What? I was too full for dinner. Oh no. Three? Yeah. You could have just had one and given the other ones to us. Yeah, and then still had room for dinner. Yeah.

And a cookie. And a cookie. So there's been a lot of baking. Cinnamon scrolls, this is your visitor, your guest, your house guest. Well, you said my friend is staying in the spare room for a few weeks. This was prearranged pre-lockdown because they're looking for a flat at the moment. I was like, just stay. And then yesterday they made cinnamon scrolls to go with my cookies.

That was a Nanarita classic, a cinnamon scroll, except you said you put icing on the top. You have to. The white icing, the sugar. So you basically make the dough. You roll it out and then you put a cinnamon butter icing paste on that, roll it up, cut it, and then bake it. And then when that comes out and cools down, icing.

Icing. A white. White icing. Yeah, a white glazy icing. Delicious. Yeah, glazy. Yeah. Sultanas?

No sultanas in this one, but I love a sultana. Totally could be a sultana. Yeah, 100%. And if you're going to put custard in, when do you put that in? Post-bake? Pipe a little custard in there? No, I've never made it. I've never made a custard one, but I think you put that in with the roll, don't you?

Right. Yeah, because it's got to be inside the scroll, not on top, because that's the icing's job. I've never made a custard one But I think you put that in with the roll Don't you? Right Yeah because it's got to be inside the scroll Not on top Because that's the icing It'd need to be really gooey though Like really thick Because then it's going to bake You'd bake it

It would all The liquid would fall out Or do they do that thing they do with like donuts and cronuts Where they inject the custard Oh maybe I'd be down for that Yeah I'm hungry

Yeah I don't know what's on the baking list today But there'll be some baking There'll be some baking So what have you made so far? So cinnamon scrolls. Ginger loaf. Ginger loaf.

Caramel cookies. Caramel cookies. Which are real soft. They're delicious. And the scrolls. Right. I might do some baking. I'm pretty good at baking, actually.

Well, what's your go-to? What's your go-to? A ginger crunch. Oh. That's one of my favorite slices. Okay, do that then. Okay, I'll make some ginger crunch. Do that. I'll bring in something. Yeah. Okay, do that then. Okay, I'll make some ginger crunch. Do that.

And then I'll bring in something. Yeah, okay. Should we have a little bake-off? I'll bring in some of Sade's birthday cake, the rainbow one. It's a few days old now. So hang on, we're going to go home and pour our love and attention into some beautiful fresh baking. And you're going to bring us your wife's two-day-old leftover.

It'll be four days old. Four days old, yeah. I don't want that. You're not part of this. I don't want that. What's your icing ginger crunch ratio? Because I like a good thick icing. Oh, yeah, you've got to be thick.

If it's too thin, once you put it in the tin, I'll make another one, double layer. How does the ginger crunch icing set? Because you don't freeze it, eh? No, just once you put it in the fridge for a little bit and then like the butter and stuff in it solidifies But then if you put it back outside and it was a humid hot day it would be super gooey Sometimes you get it from a cafe and it's a bit gooey

and a bit soft, but that's alright Okay, good Okay, well looks like I won't be eating dinner again tonight then ZM Hit music, lives here Fleece Fauna Megan, the podcast Good morning, welcome to here. Fleece Fauna Megan. The podcast. Good morning.

Welcome to the show. Fleece Fauna Megan with Hayley Sproul. Good morning. Oh, my absolute worst nightmare being stuck on the Inter-Island Ferry for 12 hours. Oh, yeah. All the Blue Bridge. Are you a couple of seasick lads? I get violently motion sick any time.

No, I just get bored and impatient. Yeah, same. I don't mind being on boats. Same. Because I did the crossing for the first time on the ferry over the holidays for the first time in ages. Did you enjoy it? Yeah, it went pretty quick.

But near the end I was like, okay, I'm done now. Yeah, there's sort of not enough to do, is there? No. See the ocean. Yeah. Done with that. So what was the story? It was too windy to get to the Picton end. Is that right? I thought it was the other way around. I thought it was to Wellington.

Too windy to get to Wellington. Because Picton shouted, isn't it, through the sounds? Wellington, famously windy. Yeah, that's always the easy bit. Right. And it didn't take them five hours of waiting? Until they could, yeah. Yeah, they were on there for over nine hours, right?

All up. I just would have been like... I would have been out of spew Imagine if your phone died You didn't bring a charger You've got an engaging conversation Couldn't think of anything worse I'd just jump over and swim for sure

I'm not a strong swimmer either Pick me up If you guys get going Just sort of pick me up on the way Yes Coming up on the show before 7 We've managed to secure an interview With one of the internet stars

of last week. Yeah. Jackie Weaver. Who was in charge of that parish Zoom call. Yes. Which just all went crazy and had old men screaming at other old men. And they were screaming at Jackie Weaver

saying she had no authority. You have no authority here, Jackie Weaver. Even though she was conducting the Zoom. How many people thought it was Australian actress Jackie Weaver? I'd never heard of Australian actress Jackie Weaver until you got really excited that we're getting Jackie Weaver on the phone. I did. I was like, I love her. I get strong feelings towards a person who holds a Zoom.

I'm also excited to talk to other Jackie Weaver. What's Jackie Weaver been in? Jackie Weaver is the mum in Silver Linings Playbook. She's... No. No idea. Oh, she's iconic.

Is she Australian? Yeah, she's Aussie, but she does a lot of American stuff. Is she Hugo Weaver's sister? No, she's had Academy Award nominations. She hates Hugo Weaving. Oh, right, okay.

She's been nominated for an Academy Award. Twice. Oh, I... You don't even know her. Yeah, she... What? She's in nominated for an Academy Award. Twice. You don't even know her. Yeah, she... What? She's in that horrible new film, Poms.

I don't know what that is. Yeah, exactly. Never heard of her. Well, it's not her, so... It's not her, no. That's before seven. Coming up, the top six as well. Yeah, look, we've really got to ramp up the COVID app check-ins.

Yes. Nice. I think they have ramped up in the last 24 hours, or since we've gone into levels three and two. to ramp up the COVID app check-ins. Yes. Scanning in. I think they have ramped up in the last 24 hours or since we've gone into levels 3 and 2. Yeah, but we've got to

ramp them up even more. Well, there's talk that they could make it mandatory. Yeah. Yeah. I've got the top six very Kiwi punishments

if you don't sign into the COVID Tracer app. Wherever you go, wherever you find yourself. All right, that's coming up also at 7. Your next shot at

ZM's $50,000. Secret Sound, all thanks to Star, launching Feb 23 on Disney+. $10,000 as the current jackpot. So that money's yours if you can tell us the sound. If you get it wrong, we'll still give you $100. So every caller wins. Win-win.

Easy. Next on the show, Australians. A bunch of leeches. Yeah. Couldn't have leeches. Yeah. Couldn't have said it better myself. We're having it at them this week, aren't we? They're not the favourites this week. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

The podcast. Australia, not the favourites at the moment. Did you see Jacinda Ardern yesterday? Very. I haven't seen her that angry in a press conference. She was. Or a media scrum in a press conference. She was. Or a media scrum. In a long time. Shit to deal with.

And then Australia. So what she was angry about was there is somebody who has been arrested at the border of Turkey coming back from Syria with strong connections to ISIS, who have gone pretty quiet lately. Yeah, I thought that was, hmm? It's gone all quiet, hasn't it? Maybe ISIS is having their own lockdown. Yeah. You know, they've called a meeting.

They're like, we need to look after ourselves. Stay inside, guys. We can't have anybody blowing themselves up. No. At the moment. If they're wheezing and they don't have the lung capacity. If they've got COVID. So a woman was arrested with her two children.

She's 26. She is a dual citizen of Australia and New Zealand. And Australia is like, bags not! And cancelled her citizenship. Now it's our problem. Yeah. Even though she moved to Australia when she was six. And has spent more of her life there than here

and is indeed an Australian citizen. So they just cancelled. And that's kind of not the done thing apparently. Yeah, they've just got too much on their plate to deal with this woman and her kids. Yeah, look, we've got the Aussie Open on. Oh, yeah. They're busy.

We can't be doing that. Yeah, well, Melbourne's in lockdown and stuff, so, no, we might pass on this problem that's... Unbelievable. Yeah, so, well, Jacinda was furious. She was riled up, and it's pretty awkward because they're famously mates, Skomo and Jacinda, aren't they? Well, are they?

Mate-ish? A political show. Yeah, like, you don't get the feeling they'd be mates if they both weren't politicians and had to deal with each other. Oh, God, no. Imagine him over at a barbie with Clark. Oh, God, he's dry. Bit of a dick.

Well, it turns out, according to a study in Australia, half of them, Australians, are leeches. Oh. What? Leeches. Okay. I've got the feeling this isn't quite as political as our last point. No, it's not.

No, we're taking a, what do they say in the America's Cup? We're taking a starboard tack. All right. Okay. Leeches. Are they leeching more New Zealanders? No, so they're leeching their streaming services. And I don't think we and I don't think we

I don't think we'd be any different here to be honest. So a report a study's found that out of all the Australians that watch streaming services like your Netflix your Disney Plus, your Amazon, whatever half of them are leeching and using

somebody else's password. So that's 8.5 million Australians. And it's actually broken it down as well into which generations are the worst. Oh, yeah, go on. The worst generation for leeching somebody's streaming service, Gen Z. Yeah, babies. Almost three quarters of them are using a service that's not their name, but they're a lot younger.

Most of them would probably still live at home as well. Yeah, so you would be using mum or dad's or your friends. Gen X were the next biggest freeloaders, 51%, while 38% of Gen Y said they would use somebody else's account. Boomers, mum and dad are using my Netflix, set it up for them at Christmas, just so I could watch Netflix, mostly. Yeah, and you just let them log Christmas. Yeah. Just so I could watch Netflix. Yeah. Mostly. And you just get to log in. Yeah.

Did you create them their own profile? I did, yeah. They've got their own profile. And I used, as their avatar, I used a picture of the latest queen in the crown. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Olivia Colman.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's their login. Yeah. 20% of baby boomers are using an account that's not theirs. Right. So did you say that 50% of Gen Xers, my parents are Gen Xers and they use my... Yeah, 51%

Gen Xers. They use my Disney, my Netflix and my Neon. They don't pay for a dime. Wow. I'm calling you out, Patsy. It should be the other way round. Patsy should be paying and you should be leeching off Patsy. Are you listening, Patsy? Patsy sends you to private school so at the end of paying all that money,

you could be like, I'm going to be an actress. So I think you owe them all the streaming for the reaction. Yeah, no, that's fair. Actually, yeah, you're in deficit, aren't you? I've got huge hopes for my daughter. We're sending her to a private school. Okay, it's the end of school. What do you want to be?

An actress. And then they were like, don't worry, we've still got our son. He's in private school. Sam, what do you want to be? A musician? Where did we go wrong? All right, 14.

Well, then if you're paying for the streaming services, he's paying for like their Spotify and stuff, given that that's the musician side of things. Yeah, that sort of makes sense. Good, he should be. Step up, Sam. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM.

During lockdown, a lot of people spend time on themselves, you know, doing a bit of exercise, perhaps learning how to cook, learning a new hobby. Other people are just spending their time on themselves. Ah, yeah. Right, like physically, literally. Physically, within themselves and on themselves. Right.

Adult toy retailers have reported a more than 600% rise in particular products during lockdown. 600% increase. That is insane. Why weren't people doing it beforehand? Why didn't we take a lockdown? Because there weren't so many other things to do. Always find time to... Go out.

You should always find time for yourself. You should always find time for yourself. You should always find time for yourself. Or a lover. But maybe that's it. They couldn't get out there and get it. Yeah, that's the thing. You can't go and visit other people because they're not in your bubble. You can't just have a casual bubble.

Exactly. And a lot of single people or dating people or casually dating people, they can't spend time with other people. So they have to get all of their needs met by themselves. On the other side of the coin, there's just like wives and long-term partners who are just sick of the sight of their partner, who just wanted to lock them out of the room and go to town. I'd rather look at a piece of plastic than your face for one more second.

And now they're saying that it's actually, people have had a bit of an awakening because of this. So they've sort of, you know, wanted to try something new during lockdown. They've bought all these little dillies and fun things. And now more than 60% of people who explored this for the first time are saying that they're going to plan to continue. Wow, okay.

Spending more time with their little friends. And it may not even take an adult fun toy because, Vaughan, you and your wife have brought a toy into the relationship. Oh, yes. A robot vacuum cleaner. And that is like, that seems to be, from Instagram, seems to really be spicing up your relationship. I said, I don't know about you, but Robbie is really turning me on. It is like that seems to be from Instagram, seems to really be spicing up your relationship.

I said, I don't know about you, but Robbie is really turning me on. He's a little robot vacuum cleaner. Last night we attached the mop function, and let's just say the floor wasn't the only thing that was. Nope, I won't say it. Wow. Oh, yeah, he's good. I don't know how good the mop was going to be, Wow. Jeez. No, it was. Oh, yeah, he's good.

I didn't know how good the mop was going to be, but it was good. Yeah, right, okay. It was good. Is that your foreplay before bed is you guys just stand there watching the robot? Take all the stools and the chairs and put them on top of the bench and the table and then move the rug and then zone it. I really got into Robbie yesterday. Get into that corner. Yeah.

Can he get into the corners? Isn't it round? He's round, but he's got a little brush that sticks out the side. Oh, get out of here. Because that was my big qualm with it. It's round. It's round. In a predominantly square building.

Well, somebody messaged me saying, this should have hashtag ad in it. They thought it was sponsored content. Oh, but it's not. It was not sponsored content. I should be getting a commish because I sponsored content. Oh, but it's not. It was not sponsored content. I should be on. I should be getting a commish because I think I've sold a fortune to these things. This is what it's like being a door-to-door vacuum salesman. No wonder they could sell those back in the day.

You should get a commission considering how sexy you've made it this time. I know. It's very sexy. I can't wait for the advertising standards authority to take you to court. Only to be ridiculed and laughed at. When I showed them the receipt. Yeah. For your robot vacuum cleaner.

Wasn't it expensive? It wasn't cheap. There was a cheaper model. Yeah. But this was a combined Christmas, Valentine's, little bit of birthday present. Oh, wow. And mine as well.

And the next Christmas. It's Christmas every day when you've got a robot vacuum cleaner. Obviously. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. It's Pride Month in Auckland. Is it just in Auckland or is it a countrywide celebrated? I know Auckland seems to be the hub of Pride activities. It's just Auckland because others have theirs at different times. And the Rainbow Pride Parade, I know that ZM were going to be involved.

That's been postponed. That was going to be on Saturday, but obviously because of Level 3 and the uncertainty if we're going to come out of it today. No one knows. Test pending. Yeah. Yeah, they've postponed that. A few events actually have been postponed, sadly.

But it is during that. It was at the big gay out that the Green Party announced this petition to immediately ban conversion therapy. Now, conversion therapy, if you haven't heard, it's an old religious practice where people who aren't cis, heterosexuals, they may have voiced, you know, they may have thought you know they may have

thought they were confiding in somebody at the church on having these thoughts they're immediately shipped off to a camp to concentrate

on being straight and cis there's a movie have you seen the movie it's got Russell Crowe Nicole Kidman

yeah and Troy Savant and that other guy is a really good actor Troy Savant yes I have seen this. I watched it on a plane. It's based on a true story because this happens in America.

Like, I think this was based on a true story that happened like in the last like 10 years. Not even like 30 years ago or something. Correct. It happens all the time. Boy Erased. Yeah, Boy Erased. That's it. Great movie. So it's a series of practices used in an attempt to change someone's sexual orientation or gender identity through shaming, emotional manipulation,

and in extreme cases, physical trauma. Or as Simon Bridges calls it, free speech. Freedom of speech. Freedom of speech. Now, here's the problem with... If it was true freedom of speech, the person who was gay would be free to be that person, wouldn't they? That's true, yeah.

Yeah. So I don't believe? That's true, yeah. I don't believe torture is freedom of speech either. No. And a lot of this could be classed as, you know, it might not always be physical, but it could be emotional, psychological, all these things. Well, the Green Party petition has been up for just over 48 hours and it has 134,000

online signatures. I've seen so many people sharing this on their story. I think it's great online stuff. It's even crazy that it's a thing that's considered

in 2021. Oh, it's so outdated. The amazing thing of the Green Party is that I think they set out with a goal of about 20,000 signatures and very quickly

that was obviously boom, done. And so they just keep raising the bar and now, yeah, it's well over 100,000 signatures. So the next stage they want to hit is 150,000 signatures. It's all over social media, but I just Googled Green Party conversion therapy petition

and it was the top result. So you can click on there, sign it, and then they send you an email and you're like, oh, unsubscribe and you've done your part yeah it's so quick it's easy as well

is it a certain amount of signatures till then it has to be considered by parliament or something is that a thing I think they've already it's been passed there

in New Zealand it's only something like I feel like in America it's 100,000 in New Zealand I think it's only like 20,000 signatures of something that needs to be

taken quite seriously. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. From the self-driving ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there. How will we get New Zealanders to continue to sign in using the COVID tracing app when we're not in level two and three? It's essential for when there are a situation as we are currently in to know where everyone involved has been.

Yeah. My app is chock-a-block. I was looking at it the other day just to sort of, you know, reflect on my week. I know, there's a lot of food in my app. There's a lot of food. It's confronting. Don't you be shamed by eating?

No. Well, that was the situation in the Taranaki region in the latest case. A very good point last time. There was an Iwi leader on the news and they said, okay, so they went to Mount Taranaki. Yeah. They went to the bridge. They went here, there, there, there. There's no food places on this list.

Yeah, right. Did they not eat when they were down here? Maybe they packed a lunch. For the whole time. They packed a whole... They might have eaten with family. They went up to the Puakai walk. Oh, is that where they went? Yeah, so they might have just been out

for the whole day and packed a lunch. Yeah, it could have been a Scroggin' and a Sammy or something like that. Yeah, but no petrol stations. No nothing. Yeah, there was a few, maybe a few missing. Not accusing them. No, but you have to scan everywhere or it doesn't count. Yes, correct. And have the Bluetooth turned on.

Yeah. So talks about making it mandatory in which some people, I'm all for it. Just on the way in, if you're going into a store, someone's standing there being like, hey, don't forget to check in or I don't want to. Well, piss off then. And if you all say piss off, the people aren't going to have any choice. Where are they going to go if we're all telling them that? Yeah, that's true.

And another way I was thinking is we get Kiwi on it and we give out punishments. Not like jail time. Okay. Kiwi punishments. Okay. So I've got the top six Kiwi punishments if you don't sign in using the COVID Tracer app. Maybe it's a three-stroke policy. Yeah.

First time, you're like, hey, look, you forgot to sign in. Please sign in. Second time, again, third, you forgot to sign in. Please sign in. Second time, again. Third time, you get these punishments. Number six on the list of the top six Kiwi punishments for not signing in using the COVID tracer app. A down trail in front of everybody. Oh, yeah. Better hope you're wearing undies.

Yeah. Or you better hope whoever's down trailing you doesn't also, when they pinch the pant, pull them down. Oh, my God, they've grabbed your satin boxes. Everyone on the school bus can see your balls. That's happened. That's happened. That's happened. Yep.

Yeah. It was on the way back because we weren't allowed to use deodorant on the bus because the bus driver claimed to be allergic to it, which was bullshit. Now looking back on it. But she just didn't want everyone getting on the bus and then putting on deodorant because the whole thing would have Oh, you're sitting in a mix of Lynx Africa and Impulse.

Yeah. So I was on the way up and I gave it. She was like, give it here. Which I don't know if she was even allowed to confiscate my Lynx Africa.

I think that's out of her jurisdiction. Yeah. So I was on the way back and someone down trailed me. Oh my. Wow. So it wasn't like

I was on the way up and down trailed and saw the butt. This was sort of like they saw and I quickly pulled the T-shirt down. Did they just see a bit of tip? They might have seen the tip of the scrote.

I don't know. How old were you? Why is your scrote hanging so low when you're young? No, it was like a short polo because mum refused to buy a new uniform more than once a year. So that goes a gross spurt years where you went up a few inches. Oh, no. Turned into a bit of a crop top situation. Yeah. And so, yeah, as you say. Goodness. Turned into a bit of a crop top situation. Yeah.

And so, yeah, as you say. Goodness. Did everybody laugh? Oh, yes. Shit, yes, yes, yes, yes. I love this. We're reliving this trauma. School bus down trail.

And I tell you what, I can still remember it all these years later. So it'd be a good thing to do at Mitre 10 Mega if you didn't sign in on the way in, you know, in front of everyone coming in. It'd teach everybody, wouldn't it? Down it comes. Number five on the list of the top six very Kiwi punishments if you don't sign in using the COVID tracer app, wet willy, unannounced wet willy.

Oh, yuck. But they'd have to dip their finger in one of those things that bank tellers have, you know, those little wet sponges? Oh, yes. Before they go flick, flick, flick, flick. Because in these times, you can't be licking your finger and sticking it in somebody else's ear. Yeah, that's right.

Can you get COVID through the ear? I suppose, but the person giving the will you can't be licking your finger and sticking it in somebody else's ear. Yeah, that's right. Can you get COVID through the ear? I suppose the person giving the willy shouldn't be licking fingers. No, no. Sticking it in ears. Yeah. So, yeah, they'll be using a little wet sponge. And if that's problematic, I can't think of anything else finger-shaped that could be stuck in somebody's ear. No.

Maybe the carrots you don't eat from your lunch. Yes. Shave down some carrots, wet them, get them in the air for a wet willy. Number five on the list of the top six

very Kiwi punishments if you don't sign in using the COVID trace wrap, dead leg. Now this could be a dead leg in the form of a Charlie, like one knee to another's thigh or it could just be

the straight clenched fist dead leg. There was nothing better than giving your brother a dead leg or like an elbow. Oh, when you nailed it. I hated it.

Oh, so good. Oh, yeah, when you got one in return. Horrible. Just unexpected dead legs at school. You just go, help, and you just go down. Instant paralyzed. Oh, down you go. Number three on the list of the top six very key punishments

if you don't sign in using the COVID tracer app, wedgie. Oh, yep, okay. Play sack. Wedgie, they're the list of the top six very Kiwi punishments if you don't sign in using the COVID Tracer app. Wedgie. Oh, yep. Play Sack. Wedgie, they're the opposite of the down trail. Rather than the pants being pulled down, it's the undies right up the butt. Number two on the list of the top six Kiwi punishments

if you don't sign in using the COVID Tracer app. Everyone forms a circle around you and points and laughs. Oh, jeez. Even as an adult, that would be full on. I've learned shaming. That made me so sad instantly. Yeah, so go, ha, ha, ha, ha. And then even it could evolve from a ha, ha, ha to a shame, shame, shame, shame.

Ring the bell. Shame, you's a dick. And number one on the list of the top six Kiwi punishments if you don't sign in using the COVID tracer app, your mum has to come to your workplace and drop off your lunch. Oh, that'd be nice. I'd love that. Actually, no, that doesn't sound like a punishment anymore.

No, but at school it was. At school it was. Yeah, at school it was. Oh, my God. What is she doing? You try to head her off at the pass before too many people saw her. Oh, that's good stuff. Yeah, that's shame.

That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Joining us on the show next, somebody who was big on the internet last week. Yeah, we just loved how ruthlessly she was muting people, booting them from a Zoom call. She was there to conduct business. She's Jackie Weaver. This is a taste.

You have no authority here, Jackie Weaver. No authority at all. She's Jackie Weaver. This is a taste. You have no authority here, Jackie Weaver. No authority at all. She's kicked him out. This is a meeting called by two councillors. Illegally. You may now elect a chairman.

No, they can't. This is the vice chair's here. I take charge. Read the standing orders. Read them and understand them. Could I ask you to be respectful to Jackie Weaver, please? Read them and understand them. Read them and understand them.

You've got no authority here, Jackie Weaver. Sounds like Game of Thrones. It was such a treat to watch that last week. It's had millions of views. It's just gone nuts. And people were like, what is the deal? Like, what kind of meeting was this? How important?

It's a parish. It's like a tiny little bit of England. It's in a tiny town. Yeah. It's not even a whole town's council. Power struggles. It's just people taking things way too seriously. Well, we're going to talk to Jackie Weaver next on The Fun.

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. She was the biggest thing on the internet last week. She was conducting a parish Zoom call that went to hell in a handbasket. And until that lawyer who couldn't turn off his kitten filter made the news, she was the biggest thing on Zoom. She is on the phone with us now and she has no authority here. Jackie Weaver, good morning. Hello there.

I'm so excited to talk to you, Jackie. Same, you're a hero. Fighting the patriarchy one person at a time. A true feminist. Is that what it was about, Jackie? It didn't feel like that at the time. I mean, it just kind of felt like, in some ways, keeping rather naughty children from hurting themselves.

So what led you to be in charge of the Zoom meeting? As someone screams, you have no authority here, Jackie Weaver, during the video. It seems that you've got all the power. Were you the one that knew how to start the meeting and invite everybody? I was there because they had, the three that you saw behaving badly, had in fact suspended their clerk. Right. So there was no one else left to control the meeting.

And I think their frustration was that because I wasn't directly employed by them, they didn't have the same authority over me. Has it been weird watching it blow up? Like you've done interviews on like Good Morning Britain and all these shows. Has that just been quite surreal? Oh, I think that's a really good word.

It's been absolutely surreal. I'm someone who always likes to have my inbox empty. I think I'm up to about 350 and counting. Well, you think that's a high number. It's had 2 million views on Twitter alone.

Millions of people are watching you. Well, as indeed this call kind of goes to show, you know, I was sitting there watching the telly. What was I watching? The Great Pottery Throwdown. Oh, okay. Sounds absolutely like my cup of tea, Jackie. And the phone goes and good heavens.

It's New Zealand. And of course, you all sound so lively because it's morning for you. It is. Yes, it is. Oh, yeah, it's nearly bedtime. Well, Jackie, we don't want to keep you up. I am quite old. Oh, Jackie.

It's been a really bad time. You can't tell. You're only as old as the person you're muting and booting from a Zoom calls, Jackie. You know the old saying. Well, Jackie Weaver, thank you so much. That's not helping me much. I know, true. You had some old edges in there, there was.

Well, Jackie Weaver, we'll leave you now. We'll let you get back to it. You have no authority here, Jackie Weaver. No authority. So we will be cutting you off. Let's mute her. Let's give her a taste of her own medicine. Bye to you all. Thanks, Jackie Weaver, so we will be cutting you off. Let's mute her. Let's give her a taste of her own medicine.

Bye to you all. Thanks, Jackie. Bye. Thanks, Jackie. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM's $50,000 secret sound. Well, it's all thanks to Star launching February 23rd

on Disney+. More movies, more episodes, more originals. You can check out Disney Plus on Insta for more info. The current jackpot, $10,000. Good morning, Soundkeeper Owls. Morning, everyone. Hi. You sound a little bit tired today.

A little bit. Day three. Early mornings, it's getting to me. How do you guys do it? You don't. I'm on my second, it's getting to me. How do you guys do it? You don't. I'm on my second coffee. I need to start my first. Yeah, you need to have your first coffee before you get on air.

I reckon that's the trick. Yeah, definitely. Clear the cereal out of the throat. The cereal out of the throat? Yeah, okay. The moment you said that, though, I was like, yes, you have to. Yes, you do. You wash it down.

All right. Joining us this morning is Jodie. Good morning, Jodie. Morning, beautiful people. Oh! What a lovely compliment. Beautiful. Do you hear that?

Beautiful. Was that to you? All of you. I think it's just to me. Oh, all of us. It's Jodie. All right, Jodie, here is the secret sound. I did see somebody guess the TV, the audio static.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, right. Well, I like the rest of the vibe. Jodie, $10,000 is all yours if you can tell us what that sound is. I did think it was the air block at the work at the workshop. Oh, yeah? But I've played a video clip of my rain back and stopped and sat it. But I want to say heavy rain.

Heavy rain. It's funny. Okay, let's have a listen. Oh, yeah. That does be a small slice of audio. Like up close next to like... A schnipper on a tin roof or something. Oh, I. That does be a small slice of audio. Like up close next to like. On a tin roof or something. Oh, I love that. Waking up to some rain.

Okay. Okay. Yeah, no, I'm sorry. That's not the secret sound. Ruthless. Please, woman, you're stupid. Oh, and she Did you hear her

Like laughing as well She did little chuckles Yeah So rude A little sneaky giggle I'm sorry Jodie You get $100

You guess it wrong You get $100 You guess it right You get the jackpot So you just can't lose Well done Jodie enjoy that $100 And your next

Thank you guys so much And thanks for the opportunity It means I'm not going to live On tuna and cornflakes for the rest of the week. Thank you. Wait a minute. Do you put the tuna and cornflakes together? Because when you said that, I was like, that could actually be quite a good recipe. Hell no.

Hell no. What are you doing? But I'll try it. Cornflakes aren't default sweet. They're sort of neutral. People use them for a coating in fish, don't they? Yeah. All right.

Hey, Jodie, what else? I like them drier with yogurt and banana. Yeah. That works. All right, Jodie, well done. Your next shot is at 8 o'clock. We'll play across the day at 11, 1, 4 and 5 as well. Apparently Donald J. Trump on his last days as US president

not only incited, you incited riots, et cetera, apparently when he left he stole a model of Air Force One. Because they're getting a new Air Force One in a few years. I read about this. They're getting a new Air Force One. You're a plane nerd. I'm a plane nerd. And he said, I don't like the colour.

Because, you know, it's like that kind of light baby blue. Yeah, yeah. He's like, I want it like red, white, and blue. Who's in this, Trump? Yeah. Well, it doesn't matter anymore, does it? Because he's not going to use it. Well, no, but they were asked.

The new press secretary was asked if they're going to change the color. And they're like, look, there's other things to worry about. Yeah, the world's on fire. Like, the world's on fire. And I don't know if they will. I don't mind. I think the new paint job looks good. The blue on the blue.

It's probably the only, no, the new one, just the white, red and blue. Oh, right. Okay, I haven't seen it. So he had a model of what it would look like, and that's been spotted, I believe, at his Mar-a-Lago on a table. That's why people are like, he's nicked the model. So it's supposed to stay in the Oval Office and he's just... Well, I mean, yeah, I'd say so.

Yeah, I'd say it was... I'm sure it's not the only thing he took either. Like that house is full of goodies, I reckon. What are they entitled to take? I've got the feeling a US president, their little post-presidential life's pretty sweet. They get bodyguards. Yeah, but that doesn't mean you can't take the staplers

and the office equipment. It's rubbish. But is he allowed to take the chair he had? Because have you seen they redesigned the Oval Office? Oh, I don't know. So part of the Oval Office is you get to choose. I think the desk stays because the desk's like a historic desk, but you get to decorate the room,

the portraits that you have on the wall, etc. Yeah, but people would be a bit afraid about that because that's taxpayer property, isn't it? When you think about it,

at the end of the day it's taxpayer property. You can't just leave office and take a chair. It's a secret service. So taxpayers are paying for that. It might be part of their sweet little party.

Maybe. They get to take their furniture. You know what they do need to replace is those couches. They're so mumsy. Oh, yeah, they look, yeah, they're very mumsy. Oh, yeah, the ones that they sit in. Biden's put them in the floral ones.

Ever heard of a mid-century leather number or something? I'm surprised it's not covered in plastic to keep it fresh looking. Or because the cats get up there. They leave the fur. Yeah. I mean, big trouble if they put their claws through it. But we wanted to know, leaving your workplace, what did you just be like, well, I'm leaving, so I'll just take that.

Yeah. Maybe there's an office plant. Oh, yeah. There's some pretty sweet office plants around here. Yeah. Yeah, but we hire these office plants because that guy comes in with his air compressor and his duster. Oh, I have taken a small cutting.

Cuttings are all right. Cuttings are alright. Cuttings are fine. I don't think anyone's got an issue with that. Unless everyone takes a cutting and then there's no plant. That's a great side hustle. We start taking cuttings from the plants at work that we're hiring and then we sell them on Facebook. He comes, he's like, oh, someone's trimmed this.

This is obviously annoying them, but it was us taking a cutting. I've had a little tax free money. I'm trying to think if I've stolen things. I've stolen things off sets before. Like if I've worked on a TV show or like a film. Yeah. I've stolen things. Usually costume things.

You know, like they give you a piece of costume you like and you're like, I'll take that. Yeah. Because you hear of like big Hollywood stars doing that. Like didn't Captain America steal a shield? That's crazy. If I was Chris Evans who played Captain America, my deal signing on would have been I get to take the full outfit home. Yeah.

Yeah. Because then you imagine how cool it would be if you get to go home with Chris Evans for a one night stand and then he's like, I'll be back in a minute

and then he pops back out in his dressing gown. No, that would be desperate to me. I'd be like... No, not for Vaughn. No, that would be absolutely... I'd love that. Yeah.

It's like surely like Robert Downey Jr. got an Iron Man costume. Yeah. Chris Hemsworth must have a Thor hammer for each hand. That would just be kind of ideal. I'd be like, I demand a prop. If I was in a Star Wars movie, I'd demand a lightsaber. Right, otherwise you'd steal one on the last day of work. I think it's more that don't they usually go into film museums

and stuff like that? Well, they go into prop warehouses and get used for other movies. Yeah, Thor's hammer. You'll see it in the upcoming rom-com. When he fixes the roof. But do you remember stealing anything specifically? I stole a Metallica T-shirt. Oh, yeah.

That one of my characters wore. And then I found out that it actually belonged to the costume designer personally. Oh, so do you have to give it back? Yeah, she hit me up. Oh, my God. That's embarrassing. That's all right. I'm trying to think about.

Oh, yeah. I stole a six pack of those. What are those? That nice brand of cola. It's like. Karma Cola. Not Karma Cola, but it those, that nice brand of cola? It's like- Karma cola. Not karma cola, but it's like that. Phoenix drinks.

Yeah, Phoenix drinks. When I worked in a cafe after I left high school and I left my job, and then I took my stuff and I took a little six pack out of the fridge. You just stole a six pack of soda. What is it to them, like 12 bucks? Probably as much as they sold in a whole week. I think that's the only thing I've stolen.

Right, okay. And a little bit of clothing from a clothing store I worked in. Holy moly, kleptomaniac. Yeah, you're stealing something from every workplace you've been in. It's not, I'm a little, I'm like a little keepsake. Right. Let's put that in the calendar for when Megan returns from maternity leave for that last week.

Surveillance on Sproul. Yeah. For the entire week. This desk will be stripped. Because everything will be gone. So we want to ask you this morning, 0800 DALES AT M. You can give us a call now.

You can text in 9696. What did you steal when you left a job? Kia ora. I'm Simon Bound and I host Business Is Boring, a podcast that reckons it's anything but. Join me each week as I chat with some of the most interesting and inspirational players in the Aotearoa business scene and learn what it takes to make it happen from accidental entrepreneurs to the brains behind some of the country's biggest brands. If you're into business

or want to be, then make sure you follow Business Is Boring wherever you get your podcasts. Brought to you by the Spinoff Podcast Network in partnership with Spark Lab. What did you pinch from work on your last few days? We got talking about this, apparently Donald Trump took a model of the new Air Force One, which I've looked at, and it is a better paint job.

It is a better paint job. If there's one piece of credit we can give Trump, it's that Air Force One will look nicer. Oh, you just got cancelled. You can't. No, no, no, no. I said the only. Oh, no, no, no.

You just got cancelled. Oh, hang on. It's so much nicer. It is so much nicer. Which makes me feel he didn't have too much say in it. No, hang on. It's so much nicer. It is so much nicer. Yeah, so much nicer. Which makes me feel he didn't have too much say in it. No, probably not. Somebody saw this model of the Air Force One at Mar-a-Lago, and they're like, you've stolen that?

And no answer whether or not. No, yeah, no. Anonymous, what did you steal from work in the last days? My office chair. Oh! Did you love it that much? No, it was at home after COVID because we were working from home and we stayed working from home because before COVID

we were going to move office. Right. And then when I went to return my computers and stuff after, because we actually just ended up shutting down, I just left the chair at home. I couldn't really bother putting it in the car and just put it in the computers. Do you like the chair, though? Oh, it's useful.

We use it. It's useful. Right. Just when you're sitting at a desk or you found other uses for it? Oh, we have a desk at home. Oh, there you go. That's perfect. I think you're entitled to that chair.

You spend a lot of time in it. They're ugly, though. I, on a whole, office chairs are pretty ugly. It is. It's not that pretty. A very different way. It's a built-in desk. We always had it with no chair before, and now it's like, well, we need a chair.

We don't really want to buy a chair. Well, just use that. And they're very expensive, office chairs. They are. You don't realise how expensive they are. Yeah, with all the levers, especially ones with multiple levers. Very expensive. Thank you, Anonymous. Jordan, what all the levers, especially ones with multiple levers. Very expensive. Thank you, Anonymous.

Jordan, what did you steal from work in the last days? A packet of steak, a tray of eggs and a loaf of bread. Oh, okay. Where did you work? I was a bartender at a pub. Yeah, right, okay. Good work on not getting too specific there. You're brilliant.

There you go. What kind of steak was the steak you took? 250 gram rump steaks. Are they good or bad? Would you probably put those in a stew and see, would you? You put that in a stew or a curry. I'd stew it, but I'm a steak stall. Okay, you are a steak stall.

Thank you, Jordan. Some text messages. I worked at Subway and stole a whole bag of pickles. Fair enough. That's pretty sliced pickles. Yeah, way to go. And frozen white chocolate chip macadamia cookie dough. It's the only way to go.

That's what I've always noticed every time when I used to go to America and you go in the supermarket, they just have like a whole frozen section or a chilled section of cookie dough. We are starting to get a bit more cookie doughy here, right? Are we? Yeah. But America, they eat it raw, right? They just eat cookie dough.

But you're not meant to because of salmonella dub. Yeah. Camp Lebec or something. Fat freeze drop. Raw egg. Raw egg. Yeah. Well, the other day we were making a cake

and it's the first time I've ever seen on a cake box, it's like, please don't eat the raw dough. It's got an egg in it. I'm like, you won't tell me what to... I know, yeah. In smoothies and stuff. Raw egg in a smoothie? Yeah, it's just nonsense. It's PC madness.

Lick the beater! Lick the beater! Lick the spatula! Lick the bowl! Lick everything! Let nothing go to waste. Somebody else said they were a flight attendant with Emirates. They stole a bottle of Don Perignon on their last flight home. I also have first class pyjamas,

all the amenities kits, bags and the works. Thanks for sending me out for a post flighty life. I took a rubbish bag full of chocolate eggs for Easter when I was leaving work. A rubbish bag? How sad.

That's good for pillage, you know. Are you just imagining raw, just straight chocolate into a rubbish bag? Yeah. Fiendishly grabbing a portion of it. And I'm imagining one of those big black sacks. Yeah, definitely. Chocker full of eggs. And somebody said I took a $650 jar of Manuka honey.

How big would that have been? Oh, 400 mils. I know Manuka's very expensive, but that's nuts. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Great news. Overnight, there have been no new positive COVID-19 cases. That is from test results as of late yesterday, according to COVID Minister Chris Hipkins.

So I'd imagine there's still a few tests to come in. Uh-huh. Because a lot of testing done yesterday as well. A lot of testing and a lot of close contacts to the whānau who have got it. And so there'll be another cabinet meeting today and then I'm guessing there'll be an announcement on levels. We're not out of the woods.

I'm so confused by how this is happening. How has no one got a positive test back? I think it's because there's a lot of things in place, right? We're a very well-organised country when it comes to this sort of thing. And the lady was working with laundry, so she was probably pretty clued on to the minute she got symptoms to get tested and she'd been scanning again. She'd been washing hands.

She'd be a hand washer. Yeah. Apparently a press conference today at 4.30. So I'd imagine there'll be a release at 1 o'clock as usual. And then a cabinet meeting. And then, yeah, the actual press conference fronted by, I'm assuming, the Prime Minister, Chris Hipkins and Ashley. Love them.

4.30. Yeah. All right. So, well, fingers crossed Chris Hipkins and Ashley. Love them. 4.30, yeah. All right, so, well, fingers crossed we go down some levels. That'd be lovely. That would be lovely. That would be lovely. Fletchbourne and Megan's Community Notices. Hello and welcome to Community Notices.

This is a segment of the show where we have a look at what's happening around New Zealand according to local Facebook pages. Screencapped by you, sent to us. Let's go to the Titarangi page, which is simply called Titarangi. It's not called like the Titarangi grapevine community or grapevine or fine cell. We'll just take the name. Yeah, we'll just simply say where we are.

Well, Carrie posted on the Titarangi page, hey, I need an answer urgently as I already have the sausages in the wok. Now, if you haven't, I think this is a great new Kiwi metaphor for when you're in a hurry. Mate, I'm in a hurry or sausages are already in the wok.

It kind of shows that there's urgency. I've got to get my mate sausages in the wok. You need a lot of urgency because sausages in the wok, they're already cooking. They're going. I think that's great. Get to the point. I've got my sausages in the wok. You need a lot of urgency because sausages in the wok, they're already cooking. Yeah. They're going. I think that's great.

Get to the point. I've got my sausages in the wok. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got a lot of sausages in the wok. Come on. Let's get them. Move, kids. Move, kids.

Sausages in the wok. All right. Let's try to implement it through the week and we'll see how we go. Yep. Yep. To say when we're in a hurry. The problem is I'm very, really in a hurry. Yeah.

You don't have to say that. Get off your bloody community notices. Get off the community notices, mate. Sausages in a hurry. Yeah. You don't have to go over. Get on with your bloody community notices. Get on with your community notices, mate. There are sausages in the wok. So Carrie says, I need an answer urgently as I already have sausages in the wok. Can I add chickpeas to the sausages? I've never had chickpeas before and what do I do with the brine? Do I put it in or do I drain it first?

No, no, no, no. She's making sausages and chickpeas. Maybe it could be some sort of, you know, maybe it was a chorizo and chickpea and you should have added some paprika and tomato and make a sort of but then you'd know

wouldn't you? Wouldn't you have Googled how to make it? Yeah. But then also, I've got the feeling it might be one of those cupboard meals

where you just start chucking stuff in. Oh, right. You know, before we're talking about cornflakes with tuna. Yeah.

Get them together. Well, at least we know that she's not a panic buyer. You know, she's just making do in the lockdown with Scott. Well, at least we know that she's not a panic buyer. You know, she's just making do in the lockdown with Scott. Well, it was only seconds later that Nikki, local hero Nikki Bailey,

says, drain the chickpeas and chuck them in. Oh. And Carrie says, thanks for the quick answer. I got sausages in the wok. So she's drained it. I'd love to know

how the whole meal went. Any seasoning or anything? Well, I'd imagine there was other things going into the wok. Yeah. God, I hope so. The question was predominantly around the chickpeas.

Yeah, it was a chickpea-based inquiry. But, God, see, there's a good story to come from a community I notice. Yeah. The neighbours working together. This is going to absolutely fletch. I can't wait to show you this photo. Why? Tata writes in the Napier News page.

Oh, okay. She actually asked a question in the community page saying, is anybody else finding this insanely annoying? This is the bus stop at the old library. Now I'm going to show you the photo. They pulled up. Oh, no. There was writing on cobblestones and they've pulled up the cobblestones

to, I don't know, access the pipes underneath. And they've put them all back higgledy-piggledy. So that looks like it was a yellow triangle to show where the fire hydrant was because you can see the fire hydrant. Yeah. And then they've put all the cobblestones back, but the triangle doesn't match. And there's numbers there, which I assume if it's outside, they said it's the bus stop at the old library. There must have been numbers to indicate maybe what bus route it was. We're going to have to get the council onto that.

To sand off the paint. Yeah, they've taken up all of the tiles and then obviously looked at and not put them in any order while stacking them. Monsters! I can't be bothered putting these back and just flopped them wherever they went. So there's all like fragments of numbers and shapes and yellow bits everywhere. I tell you what, if Napier could agree on one issue this year, it will be that everybody hates that person.

Yeah. That's not on. That's lazy. Everybody's absolutely furious. And rightly so. Yeah, let's go to the Rolleston community page for our next community notice. Pip's posted, I'm looking for Shree, insert last name,

or Tony, insert last name. If they could contact the Selwyn Aquatic Centre, please, their daughter would like to be picked up. Oh dear.

Some moment out of, obviously there's been some wires crossed about who's picking up little Susan from swimming lessons and she's just waiting there. So there's,

and they don't have a number on record to contact these parents. Yeah. So they've just put it to the community page for what is an effort to reunite this family, but also quite the public parent shaming. Yeah. Are there any other comments on it saying, I know them?

There is comments, but the person didn't include that in the screen capture. Right, okay. But, you know, the lost child there. Next, let's go to Ophiddle Bay in Wellington. This page, which is simply entitled Ophiddle Bay, Wellington. Tara writes, so there is a fully naked man walking up Frobisher heading towards Murchison Street.

My sister just ran inside to inform me. I thought she was joking and lying, but nope. Here's a photo. Keep your kids inside if you're up that way. Evidence of a long-haired ginger man walking absolutely stark as up the street. And just like looking like he's walking just at a leisurely pace too.

Oh yeah, he's not sprinting. He is having a stroll. He's like the silhouette, if you think about that silhouette series where it's like ape, homo erectus, and then it slowly turns into human. He's got that stride on. He's pre-human though. You reckon he's just one step before.

Just that hunch. He's just that one step before totally upright. Yeah, he's a little bit there. It is hard to get an even tan, so good on him. But he wants to be careful because his hair is ginger, which would indicate very easily burnt skin. If anyone knows the story behind that or what happened to this naked man, who looks in relatively good shape, I'll give him a compliment.

Yeah, good. Good quads moving in there, good calf to quad ratio. Let us know what the story was there. Those are today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page, screen cap it and send it to ours, won't you please? FEMZM. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

ZM. As if dating during a pandemic wasn't hard enough, there's a new dating term out there called Fauci-ing. After Anthony Fauci. Indeed. Like after Anthony Fauci. Indeed. Which he's America's Ashley, but a little different.

Do you know that? He's their go-to. Fauci has had this role for quite a while. He was the dude that led the charge in the medical field on behalf of the government in the US for the AIDS epidemic in the 80s. He's been around for ages. Is he 80? He's very, he doesn't look as old as he is.

No, no, no. He's a healthy young man. Oh, that's good. He's 80. He's 80. You know when you hit a house rocking in with like a cig being like, oh, don't give us a minute. So the term Fauci-ing, if you Fauci someone,

it's to cut the relationship or end a relationship or cut someone loose for not taking the pandemic seriously enough. So if you start sort of tindering around with someone's apps and then they're like, let's meet up, it's a lockdown, you Fauci them, you give them the old Fauci. Or you go out to a restaurant and they don't want to scan in with the COVID app. Yeah. Or in America, they don't want to wear a mask.

Yeah. Like, I'm going to Fauci you. Yeah. And you cut the loose for not taking it seriously enough. I think that's quite a good term. Right. What would we call it if we were to give it a local touch? Bloomfielding.

Blooming? Yeah, blooming. Blooming. You'd bloom someone. Yeah, you're getting bloomed. You're getting bloomed because you're not taking, or I'm hip-kissing you. Yeah, what happened to that guy from the other week? I bloomed him.

Yeah. That's good. He wasn't taking the shit serious. He got bloomed. Because you know Ashley would be taking it seriously. He does. He'd be using the COVID tracer, wearing a mask on the bus. Yeah, you would.

So, yeah, okay, we're starting it here and now. Right. Getting bloomed. Getting bloomed, the New Zealand version. Has Anthony Fauci in America, has he heard of this? Yeah, so someone was interviewing him and they said did you know that your name has been turned

into a dating term? And he laughed and he laughed and he laughed when he heard what Fauci-ing was and then he said to the interviewer, well I'm going to Fauci you. Felt sexually charged at the time but we're just remembering what it means. Right, he's cutting her off. He's cutting her off.

No, he kept on talking. He was having a little chuckle. He was tickled by it. He liked it. I'm so amazed he's 80. You see all these interviews with him, you're just like, wow. Yeah, he looks really good. He's like a walking ad for KiwiSaver, isn't he? Just in case you last as long as him

Yeah, because you get to 80 and you run out of money Yeah, exactly There's a dating app that is predicting Fauci-ing to be one of the top dating trends this year Relationships will end because they got Fauci-ed Yeah, yeah, totally

I have been sharing with you guys a little bit of the journey of Aaron and I will end because they got Fauci'd. Yeah, yeah, totally. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. I have been sharing with you guys a little bit of the journey of Aaron and I moving into a new place recently. We've left our bad neighbours behind. You've got yourself some good new bad neighbours. Some good new bad neighbours. And you talked about your student neighbours, they urinated on your car and it got through the air vents. Did you ever fix that?

You know, this morning I was like, I think it's gone away. And then this morning I got in and it got through the air vents. Did you ever fix that? You know, this morning, I was like, I think it's gone away. And then this morning I got in and I turned off the AC because it was a bit frosty. And I could smell it again. You could smell the way it went. Yeah. I've been away for a week so I didn't do anything about it. Well, you've left behind your old neighbours. You've moved. I've left them behind.

So we've been sorting in our stuff and we decided we're going to take a huge step. And we've got a storage unit. Okay. Thank you so much. So you moved into a new place without much storage. Well, there's not a lot of storage.

It's also a bit of a mess at the moment. Right. We've already outgrown it. But look, we just had a lot of stuff that we didn't want to get rid of. We're not sure what to do with. A lot of paperwork, a lot of life admin. We can't keep living at our parents' houses, you know. I'm 31, for God's sake.

Storage units are where my two main roads of life intersect, though, because notoriously cheap. Me, I don't like paying for anything. And I'm a hoarder. I don't like throwing anything out. So when I get to the fact where I need to get a storage unit because I don't want to throw anything out, but I also don't want to have to pay for a storage

unit, I've got some hard decisions to make. Yeah, they fascinate me, storage units. Same. Movies and TV shows. Storage wars or whatever it was. So there's storage wars where they buy deceased storage units and they don't know what's in there, but that show's so rigged. I know. I remember reading the article where

it exposed it. I was heartbroken. Yeah, it's rigged. But then on fictional TV shows and movies, bad stuff always happens in storage units. It's where they make the meth or store the bodies or lock suspects up. Or park the car that they use in a hit and run. Yes. There was a few parked cars there that I saw.

But it was definitely, yeah, this is my first storage unit. So it's a really big moment for me in my life. It's cold going into a storage unit. Yeah, I was walking through it. Obviously, you know, it's level three. So there was like no one there basically. You walk through and I was in my head. I was wondering how many dead bodies are in this building.

Yeah. I had a little feeling. And then I heard something in the distance. And we came outside where we'd parked up to put our stuff in and there was a little roller door that had been cranked ajar and someone was in there and they were just rocking out

on the drums. Now that's the kind of neighbour you want. Right, they might live in an apartment or a townhouse where they share a wall with somebody

so they're like, well, my names are going to hate me if I drum. Or his girlfriend's like, it's drumming on me and he's like, all right,

I'll get a storage unit. Yeah, he's like, he's going to pay me. And he's like, all right, I'll get a storage unit. Yeah. He's like, he's going to pay $200 a month. Yeah, so that's a $200 a month habit now. Well, it'll probably be more than that because he was in one of the, well, he or she, actually, they were in the bigger ones, like the garage ones. And they were really good.

Right. They had a metronome going. I mean, they were rocking out, but hard tempo. But anyway, I mean, we got engaged, Aaron and I, about a year and a half ago, and everyone keeps on wondering when we're going to get married. I'm just like, there's more important things to do, like get a storage unit.

Get a storage unit. Yeah. Did you, like, stack your storage unit? Did you take pride in your storage unit? No one takes more pride in stacking than Greg Grover from Nova. Right. He loves to stack, doesn't he? This is your fiancé, yeah.

Oh, he can stack a wall, I tell you what. Right, good. Yeah. It's one of his hottest traits. Right, he loves a stack, This is your fiance, yeah. He can stack a wall, I tell you what. Right, good. Yeah, it's one of his hottest traits. Can you back a trailer? Yeah, of course. Oh, good.

Yeah, good. How much room is left in the unit? Like, did you get a big one or a mini one? It's a small one. Right. Because we don't have

too much stuff. And there's stuff that we put in there that we're going to be taking back out. Right. While we do a little bit of work around the stuff. And there's stuff that we put in there that we're going to be taking back out while we do a little bit of work around the house. So there's a little bit of space in there. Enough for a little hangout if you wanted to get away.

You know, we live in a small house, so I might need it. I wonder what wacky stuff's going on. You said guy playing drums. I wonder what else is happening in storage units. Now I'm fascinated. Well, I know. I've got a friend that has a storage unit to work on like a car because they don't have a place at their flat.

And so they just have that there. Yeah. Which is a good idea. That's a good one. Yeah. That's a good one. I would love just like to pause time and to go into all of them and just see what's in there.

It'd be a fascinating like reality TV show. Like the... Busting. Storage unit. Storage wards busting. You get permission to talk to the people about what they're doing in their units. No, because people will tidy up. Yeah, I don't think we can film criminals breaking and entering. No. It wards busting. You get permission to talk to the people about what they're doing in their units. No, because people will tidy up. Yeah, I don't think we can film criminals breaking and entering.

No. That's a different show. Making meth. That's a different show altogether. They won't even put their name to that. Oh, storage. Yeah, I know. It's actually got me hot and bothered.

Yeah, do you reckon teenage Hayley would have ever imagined that 31-year-old Hayley would be so fizzed about a storage unit? Teenage Hayley was getting tattoos and punching holes in every orifice in her face so I don't think she would ever imagine that she would have a plain brown haircut and was buying a storage unit

but there you go. Someone messaged in Oh what? My parents manage a storage unit facility. They've had some massive drug busts from people storing drugs and raw drug ingredients in there. Can I just say, if someone does have a meth lab, don't blow it up. I've got some of my nice things in there.

You know, some things I really want for the future. Yeah, right. No, that's good. That's good warning to drug dealers. Can you just not? Yes. Listen, so you're asking drug makers to be considerate about the community. Yeah, we'll do a phoner. Drug makers.

When have you asked a favour of a drug dealer? Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. ZM's $50,000 secret sound. Tell them what the secret sound is. ZM's $50,000 secret sound. It's all thanks to Star launching Feb 23 on Disney+. More movies, more episodes, more originals. You can check out Disney Plus NZ on Insta for more.

The current jackpot, $10,000. Ella, good morning. Good morning. How are you? Good. Right. So what's today? Wednesday? Yes. Had quite a few guesses. All the wrong guesses.

You can follow the Instagram secret sound, NZ. We just had the rain on the roof. It was seven o'clock, Skiz. Incorrect. When you just said good morning, Ella. Oh, yes. I spoke. Soundgib Ella spoke.

Because that's your name as well. We've got two Ellas. I like your name, Ella. Very cool. Maybe it's good luck. Yeah. Maybe. We'll well. We've got two Ellas. I like your name, Ella. Very cool. Maybe it's good luck. Yeah, maybe. We'll see, we'll see. Could there be some sort of Ella symmetry here?

I'm so ready, phone Ella on the phone, for someone to win this. I'm just, I'm thrilled by this. I hope you've got a good guess. Same. I hope so. Yeah, go on. So, okay, what's your guess?

Let's hear it. I think it is someone sneez guess. Same. I hope so. Yeah, go on. So, okay. What's your guess? Let's hear it. I think it is someone sneezing. Okay. Someone sneezing. This is the first time you've ever guessed on Secret Sound, isn't it? Yes. Yeah. Someone sneezing. Again. That would be

a powerful dose of the old hay fever there. Ooh. I thought so. Up close, though. Just like a little snippet of it. Yeah, up close, though. Hmm. And one small portion of the sneeze could be there. The build-up, the follow-through, the mid-sneeze.

Could be the moment it sort of catches you in the throat. Yeah. Well, everybody wins. You guess it wrong, you get $100 cash. But if you get it right, you get that $10,000. Mm-hmm. All right. Well, Ella, look, you do win $100, but it is not the secret sound.

I'm sorry. Good guess, though. I can see where you got that from, a little bit of it. Yeah. All right. Thank you. We're going to play again this morning at 11, 1, 4, and 5. And again, ZM, Secret Sound to follow those clues as they get released

and the wrong guesses to help you. Because, Hayley, you haven't played Secret Sound before, but when someone rings up, when the jackpot's really high and they guess something that someone's already guessed, oh, there's anger. There's anger. They get blacklisted. You've got to pay attention everyone. The public want their head. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast.

Am I a bad person? Alright, so we've received this message after Valentine's Day and we're all just like, what? What's your problem? Do you know what? This happens. This is a thing.

Yep. 100%. Email reads, Hi, Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. Last week, my boyfriend and I talked about what we'd do for Valentine's Day. We've been together for five years and we're saving for our first house at the moment, so keeping the budget. Tweet.

Good, good, good. We decided we wouldn't do presents this year. Sunday rolled around and nothing. No gifts, no gestures, nothing. I wasn't expecting a Porsche or a diamond ring, but I'm pretty mad he didn't even get me something small

or he could have made me a candlelit dinner or something thoughtful. My love, Link, would go... Sorry, could you just go up a couple of lines where they... We decided not to do Presents this year Sorry carry on Presents

Okay Now Because this is my second read Yep I'm actually kind of Getting more on They said no to presents But then she said

Sunday rolled around And nothing No gifts Gestures Or nothing So not even a gesture Gestures don't have to cost anything Hang on

Read this last sentence. My love language is gifts. What? Is that a love language? Gifts? Yes, it is. Oh, my God. You don't want to be with the gifts, people.

Executive intern, what is the love language? What's my one again? Cuddling, eh? I'm a cuddler. You're a toucher. Yeah. You're a dropper.

Physical touch. You're a fiddler. You're a dider. Yeah. You're a groper. Physical touch. You're a fiddler. You're a diddler. So there's physical touch, gifts, acts of service. Acts of service. Yep.

What are the other ones? There's one more. I thought there was five. Four or five. Words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time,

physical touch. Quality time that could cover all of it. Words of affirmation, Smith. But she's a gift. She's a gift. She said the boyfriend knows that's her love language. My love language is gifts, which he knows. We decided we wouldn't do presents this year.

Cut to my love language is gifts. Yeah. So I'm kind of pissed he didn't take that into account at all. Am I a bad person for being mad about this? Yes, you are a bad person because you said we're not doing gifts. The gift will be

in a couple of years time when you own a house. Yes. That's the long game. But is this common for females to say one thing but mean another, Hayley? Yes, and I was just about

to call this out. It is 2021. Women, we've got to stop playing these games. If you want something, you have to say it. And you can't do this opposite reverse psychology.

We're dumb. Granted, we know what we've done wrong when we're like, what have we done wrong? We know. 90% of the time. We're very well aware of what we've done. And there's like five more things we know about that you don't know about that we've definitely done wrong. But I just feel like we're dumb otherwise. There's no guess, we're like, okay. Yeah, and then we're just always waiting for the surprise of our life,

some kind of romantic gesture, and then we're constantly disappointed and we wonder why. And it's because we literally told you no gifts. But he probably should have done a gesture, right? That's what I reckon. No gifts doesn't include gestures. You don't think so? Isn't this another Hallmark holiday made to make money?

You should be kind to your partner every day. And if you say you're not going to do gifts, what does that matter? I won't be kind to my partner on any day other than birthday, Christmas, and Valentine's Day. You've done this before, though. Didn't you say no presents? 100%, but I always get something.

I always get shout out something. I'm like, oh, no gifts this Christmas or whatever. And I'm always like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you've got to get them something. No, why are you playing games with your spouse? Why are you literally saying we won't do it and then I'll do it, which will then make you feel bad for the rest of the day

on a day that you're supposed to feel good. Yeah, and then she's like, I didn't get you anything. You're like, oh, well, guess one of us loves the other one more than they do. We've got to cut it out. Wow, I know. It's crazy. It is ridiculous, isn't it?

All right, so I guess now we open the phone lines. This is how Am I a Bad Person works. 0800 Dials at M. Give us a call. You can text as well, 9696. Is Anonymous a bad person for saying, no, we won't do gifts this Valentine's Day and then being angry when there was no nothings?

Maybe you've been in this situation. You always have this argument or fight or maybe it even ended a relationship. Am I a bad person? All right, if you're just joining us, a quick little recap. This has got people really riled up. Anonymous said, Hey guys, last weekend my boyfriend and I talked about what to do for Valentine's Day.

We've been together for five years, saving for a house, keeping the budget tight. We decided we wouldn't do presents this year. Sunday rolled around and there was nothing. Crystal clear. I wasn't expecting a Porsche or a diamond ring, but he didn't even get me something small, keeping the budget tight. We decided we wouldn't do presents this year. Sunday rolled around and there was nothing. Crystal clear. I wasn't expecting a Porsche or a diamond ring, but he didn't even get me something small or he could have made me a candlelit dinner or done something thoughtful.

My love language is gifts, which he knows. I'm kind of pissed he didn't take me into account at all. Am I a bad person for being mad about this? Games, games, games, games. Games, games, games, games, games. This is fishing behaviour. We're fishing for our partner to do something

that they just don't know what you want it's a mini test every time right you're testing whether or not your training's worked by not just asking

for something hinting at it or assuming they can read your mind you're putting them to the test a test which is wildly stacked

against them yeah and then when they fail you're angry at them for failing a test they did not know that they were part of. But you're not even just asking them to guess something that they don't know.

You're actually telling them the opposite, saying I don't want to guess. Yeah. And then, no, this is, I've learned this 10 years. Listen to me. Everyone who's been in a relationship for much longer than that is so mad that I keep saying 10 years. But you've got, like, if you want something, you

just have to ask for it. Why are we testing the people that we say that we love and that we're going to commit the rest of our lives to? Why are we putting them through these tests? I would say that... Just to be disappointed. Like, you think about your parents if they're still married or you know, the people you know who have been married for ages,

they didn't probably play these games. Yeah, right. I don't reckon. Or you got to get them out. You got to work them out. It's a very natural thing to do very early on and do some fishing. Like, oh, get to know me. I've just, if you want something, ask for it.

And then you get it and you're happy. She wants to know if she's a bad person for being mad about this. Sam, what do you think? Yeah, I think she kind of said a lot for failure here. Like, you can't say, don't get me gassed and then get grumpy about not having gassed. You know, maybe it's an opportunity

for her to reflect back on herself. I think it's even more about her than him. I like this. You've taken this as a chance to present an opportunity to make oneself better. Yeah, but guys live in the world of black and white. Like, just tell them what you want. Yeah, we do.

Are you saying we're simple, Sam? I'm not saying you're simple, but, like, well, you're simpler than women. I am one. You need simple, clear instructions. Yeah, because you can't go wrong if you have the simple, clear instructions. Don't say you don't want a gift and then you wanted a gift. You said you didn't want a gift. Just say you want.

Dan, tell me what you want as well. Yeah. It's mind-bending stuff. It really is, Sam. Thank you for your call. Ali, what do you think? Is she a bad person for being mad? Morena.

Morena. No, I think she's selfish, but I don't necessarily think she's bad purely because, does she think about it from the other point of view? What did she do for her partner? You know what? She doesn't say whether or not there was anything special presented on her behalf to him you know i'll talk about that because honestly the women

expecting the boys to just deliver deliver deliver yeah i mean i won't you know i don't know the dynamics of a same-sex relationship but i think think this is a common thing with women in relationship with men. We just expect all the romance to come our way. Except for me. Can I say that? Except for me, because it's my birthday on Valentine's Day. You deserve that.

That's all about you. Nice. Ali, thank you for your call. Angela, what do you think? Is she a bad person for being mad? Yes, yeah. She set him up to fail, for sure. That's the thing she did. She set him up. Yeah. You know, men need directness

and she quite clearly said no to presents, so he went, cool, okay, I'm off the hook, and that's it. And then she still expected something, so how could he meet her needs? And if they're actively,'re actively saving for a house, that's on your mind. Constantly being told that house prices are rising crazy.

So, you know, financially, he did think, oh, yeah, sweet, I'm off the hook. True. Angela, thank you for your call. More messages. I'd say heavily leaning in that, yes, she is a bad person. Yeah. We ran a poll on Instagram.

Currently sitting at 80% believe she's a bad person. 20% though, she's not a bad person. There's still a lot. She's not a bad person. She wanted a gesture. She didn't expect a gift, just something special and small. Yeah, I mean, he probably should have done a gesture. He's probably wise enough to know that these are how the games work.

A gesture can just be a happy Valentine's Day. I'm sure he would have said that. Like a firm handshake? Yeah, yeah. Eye contact? Or a high five a happy Valentine's day. I'm sure we would have said that. Like a firm handshake? Yeah, yeah. Eye contact? Or a high five? Yeah. Happy Valentine's day, love. I also suspect that of the 80% of people that said she's a bad person are also guilty of this type of behaviour. Of this

fishing little behaviour. Hey, everybody does it, right? Yeah. Everybody does it. We're dumb. Just tell us. Oh, that looks like a good coffee. Yeah. It's like, did you want a coffee? Yeah, just ask. Oh, do you want a... Yep, done. Yep. Yep. That's... Oh, that looks like a good coffee. Yeah. It's like, did you want a coffee? Yeah, just ask. Yep, done. Yeah? Yeah.

Or what about you're ordering food and they're like, I don't want fries. And you're like, are you sure? No. And then they eat yours. Is that the same? It's kind of the same. It's similar. That's just annoying.

We're in the same realm. We're drawing a line in the sand. Say what you want. Say what you want. What's the worst that could happen? They're going to go, no. Then you can be shitty. Then you can be shitty.

Yeah, exactly. You've just been told no and no one tells you no. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about the phrasing ye old. Ye old. You know, it would be like ye old pub. Yeah, ye old bookstore.

Yeah. And it's Y-E and then a space and then O-L-D-E. E. Yeah, E on the end of old. E. That's how you know it's old. So here's something I've learned about the Ye Olde. Okay. It's pronounced the old.

What? It was never actually said when people would have this up. Yeah. It would never be said Ye Olde. Ye Olde Pub. Ye Olde Pub. It'd be the old pub. It was the old pub. What? Why didn? Ye olde pub. It'd be the old pub? It was the old pub.

What? Why didn't they write it thus? It was never pronounced. Apparently it's a carryover from early modern English. They had an old English letter called the thorn and it was like a P It was like a P with a B on the top. What?

It had a little B on the top and then a P down the top. So it was like a B with a stick down the bottom as well. Oh, okay, so it was like they were on top of each other. Yeah. Okay, that's actually quite a cool letter. It was an overlaid B and a P and it was called a thorn. So if it was in the alphabet, you'd be like, ABCDEFG thorn, JK. It doesn't fit quite as well, but I mean, we've got one called W. You ever thought about how stupid that name is? Yeah. And it's always more of a double V anyway. It's a double V it is, yeah. It's often more of a double V than it is a double U. Oh, you guys do a sharp dub?

Yeah, I'm a bit of a soft capital dub. How do I do a dub? Nah, it is. But it looks... No, I do a sharp one. But I don't do a sharp V either. Unless I'm really thinking about it, I'll do like a... Sort of a pointed U.

A soft pointed U. Yeah. A soft pointed V. We could talk about fonts all day. Oh, we could, couldn't we? But yeah, apparently now it is used more in, you know, something that's not old. You'd write ye olde stables on horse stables or whatever,

but they might not actually be that old. They were never called ye olde stables. So can we still say ye olde? I think we can say ye olde because it's more fun. It's more fun to say it. But it was more used for if they got a new one of something. Yeah. So if they got a new pub, that would be...

New pub. The new pub. Or just the pub. Two random English things. Oh, right. The bridge and field. Yeah. The chicken and ball. Yeah. The chicken and ball.

Yeah. The chicken and ball. I like that. No, I like that. You mean the chicken and ball. What were those? You just literally said name two things and I did. Chicken and ball.

The chicken and ball. Sometimes I've got to have a bit more of an English feel to them. Chicken on my ball. Yeah, football. The chicken and ball. I love that you went to chicken and ball. Otherwise known as the old cock and ball. Yeah.

Yes. What would your insignia be? I was imagining a chicken, but it's in a steel cage. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, in a steel, circular, spherical cage. Okay, so you're the proprietor

of the chicken and ball. Yep. Who would have thought it? What's your English pub called? I'd be the... Ye Olde... Ye Olde Ball and Chain. See, that's good too.

There probably is a ball and chain pub. Probably. There was. That's just a side fact of the day. What about Ye Olde Boot and Sock? Boot and Sock? Yeah, I think I'm going to be the old sock and boot. Yeah, Fremantle's got a ball and chain.

Does it? The pub. Yeah, it and boot Fremantle's got a ball and chain does it the pub yeah it's a Fremantle bar and pub there was an English directory of pubs and then no two could be the same

because they were used as like a directional thing like I'll meet you down at the old chicken and ball the old bushing lamp oh right

literally looking out the window and seeing two things I'll meet you at the bushing lamp so you'd look up where the bushing lamp was and there wouldn't be two bushing lamps. Yeah, right. So there'd be no confusion.

Okay. Yeah, but that's a side fact. This is a sub fact for you. Yeah, sub fact. Today's fact of the day is that if you ever see Y-E space O-L-D-E written down, you might be inclined to say ye old, but it was always pronounced the old. Fact of the day, day, day, day,

day. Level three means that the kids are home from school. Yep. And it means the gym's shut. Yep. And it means a whole lot of stuff. But those are the two aspects that led to another Smith trip to the park yesterday. Okay, for a walk. For a walk, take the dogs, go for a walk, walk around, social distance. Yep. That's very important on these walks. But we

saw a lady pushing a pram and I thought, oh, that's nice. Must be taking the grandkids out for a walk. Oh, was she an older lady? She was an older lady. Okay. Could have done IVF maybe or something like that. Maybe, I mean at a stretch, but she would have to be forgiving of people who would say, that's a cute grandchild. And she'd be like, this is mine. And you'd be like,

interesting. So I was like, oh yeah, there's the pram. And she was pushing and pushing. And then I heard a bark and I thought, where's that coming from? And then I heard two distinct different barks. And I was like, it's on the pram. And then she stopped and opened the little flap and she had two dogs in there.

She was taking for a walk in the pram. She's taking them for a stroll. She's going for a walk. She's going for a walk. They're getting pushed around. They live in the lap of luxury. From your perspective, could you see if the dogs could walk? The dogs, yes, they were capable of walking because it was further down the path

because it's a loop, so we kept seeing her. She let the dogs out and they did a wee. Yeah. And then she lifted them back up. They couldn't even jump back into the stroller. She lifted them back up and put them in the stroller and then zipped the mesh one shut, but had the flap open so they could see.

Right. So then you've got this little chihuahua, but it was like a fat chihuahua with long hair. Right. I don't want to body show the chihuahua, but they look weird when they get fat, eh? Yeah, they do. I don't think they're made to be fat.

They're a skinny little, because weren't they, didn't they shoot down rat and rabbit holes? Isn't that, because you know how every dog breed's got like an origin tale of how they're about to be that big. Like pit bulls would run under a bull and yum-yum, bite the underside of the bull to distract it during the hunt or something. Is that an actual truth?

Is that a real story? And then, like, Great Danes would be used to, like, guard against, like, wolves and stuff and bears and that sort of carry on. That's why they had to be big. Right, and then ended up eating Danish pastries. Yeah, and they were like, oh, great Danish pastry. And then they lost, they forgot how to talk. But every dog, so the chihuahua, I always believe,

was supposed to be small and not fat and scurrying down holes. But you see a fat one now, it's like. So there was one of those in this other indistinguishably small dog breed. Right. Maybe a Yorkshire Terrier of some sort. But they couldn't even walk. Okay. And she just looked like a crazy dog lady.

A little bit. But at the same time, she needed to get some fresh air. Maybe she didn't want to leave the dogs at home. Yeah. So she took them for a... Maybe the dogs slowed down a bit. I think they would have because there was one stage when they got let out to go for a wee.

They did that thing where they were running, but their legs weren't getting very far. Oh, yes. Well, they're very short. They're about 10 centimetres long, the legs. Yeah. But then these dogs, she was pushing them. The dogs were sitting up against the mesh front,

being like... And everybody that came close. Wow. And our big dog was just like, what the hell is that? Like, are you joking? Yeah. Look at the size of me. I'm pretty sure they put more food in his bowl at night than made up the entire mass of that dog.

Maybe they had hip pain. They looked, because they look young. They look like puppies. I just honestly think it was just the little legs. She's like, I'm out for a walk. You know how old lady, my mom's the same. She's walking somewhere. It's flat tack.

Yeah. I'm going for a walk. I'm not waiting for these bloody dogs, but I've got to take them for some fresh air. I've got to get them out there. So she chucks them in the pram. And I would like to know though, I wish I'd asked her if she had the pram

or she bought the pram specifically for the dogs. Imagine if she had. Did it look like a newish pram? It was in really good nick. But was it expensive? Was it like a cheap one? Oh, I'm not sure. Can you ask her today if you see her?

If I see her again, I'll ask her. If you see her, you'll just be like, what's the dealio? Yeah, I'll be like, was this a custom purchase for the dogs? How old are the dogs? That dog's too fat. I'll just stop, was this a custom purchase for the dogs? Your dog's too fat. How old are the dogs? That dog's too fat. I'll just stop and give her a real, what are those dressing downs in public that no one likes to get from a stranger? Yeah, I think that's a good idea.

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Something weird, guys, has happened in Australia at the Melbourne Open, the tennis, which is happening. Because you'll remember they obviously had a bit of a lockdown just when all the players arrived for the Melbourne Open. And they quarantined them all, much to all of their horror by the looks of things. You remember they were complaining.

A lot of them had videos online moaning about the... Well, because then they can't warm up their game, can they? They're locked in a little room, not bouncing the old yellow ball around. They should have given them all a Nintendo Wii. Maybe we never played any more tennis on Nintendo Wii. So some of them, apparently there were 72 players that spent 14 days in hotel isolation. There was a small group that were allowed out for training, but most of them weren't. How'd they decide that?

I don't, I think it might've just depended on what their hotel had. Maybe it had some space for training. Maybe. Maybe it didn't. There are loads of players. I think at the latest count, there's four or five players

that have all got the same injury, abdominal injuries, because they've been, I guess, sitting in their hotel isolation. They haven't been training. And I guess it's when they serve or they go to stretch out. Ah. What happens? They hurt their little abbs. And they're tearing their abdominals.

Is that one of the Dracovic reckons he's got? Yeah, so he's been quite coy on his injury, but he lifted up his shirt and he had, like, tape on his abs. And apparently all of these other players are saying that, yeah, they've got ab strains and abdominal injuries because they were locked up for two weeks. So they don't work out their strong ripped ab muscles for just two weeks and then they're getting all injured.

Yeah. Isn't that insane? Wow. What are they getting up to? Is it because you're not stretching out? That'd be well down the list of injuries I'd do to myself if I was locked in a hotel room for two weeks. I was going to say,

we're sure these ab injuries aren't from something else. But is it that you're constantly, like you'd be sitting on the bed watching Netflix or sitting at a desk or on a chair. Yeah. And then you start swinging your arm around. But it's not like they all just did this on the first hour of getting out of hotel isolation.

It's kind of happened during the matches, you know, weeks later, two weeks later. Yeah. They made the rackets heavier or something. I don't know. I don't know. They're picking up, they're like, holy. Weird though, isn't it?

Isn't it weird? That is so bizarre. And it's not like it's a one-off thing. There's like, yeah, four or five players so far that have had the same injuries. And injury to the core, that's very, you know, it'll affect your whole game. Yeah, well, you're pretty...

This is specifically why I choose not to have abs. Because you're going to hurt yourself. I'd hate to hurt myself. You've got... Everyone has abs. No, no, no. Mine died many years ago. They've left, have they?

They've left you. They have left the building. Right. How do you stand up and move and stuff? Flabs. Flabs. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

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