ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 17th July 2020

Episode Date: July 16, 2020

Teens are dressing up as Grandparents  What did you pet bring home?  Change in Star Signs  Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern  Am I a Bad Person?  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fleeche Morning Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. My five McCafe coffees get one free on the Maccas app. Vaughan is finding something to talk about in the newspaper. That's my rule. I just open up to a random page and see what there is to talk about. And they just press all. Ross Boss is actually in here. Good morning. Just want to remind the people that listen to this podcast now as well. I didn't know you guys were doing a podcast intro because I never listen to your podcast. You fucker. Um, rude. well i just can't fucking stand you yeah you're our boss you're supposed to be over everything we do over it yeah i'm over it fantastic thank you ross boss talk about on was it on the podcast we talked about your mum what she said about going to a

retirement village was that on the podcast it was off the air, what she said about going to a retirement village? Was that on the podcast? No, it was off the air. It was off air. I think you should share the reason, because I've just seen an ad for a retirement home. Oh, right. No, just when I was back in New Plymouth last time, we spoke about there's a big subdivision, an area with all the rest homes in New Plymouth.

Is it like a neighbourhood built out of rest homes? No, it's just got a massive, like you fly over it and it's just humongous brick monstrosity. And mum got brought up and she was like, I was talking to Charmaine the other day. We'll be in there and everybody will be listening to ABBA because they've got shit taste in music. That's what she said. She said, I don't want to go there because everybody will be listening to ABBA. Yeah.

She's not like ABBA. No. My mum's a big ABBA fan Yeah. Yeah. She's not like ABBA. No. My mum's a big ABBA fan. Yeah, your mum's a mainstream music mum. Yeah, very much a mainstream. Yeah, yeah. Whereas mum and dad have a fantastic taste in music. They do, they do.

Yeah, they do. But it is weird to think that when, like. Like, if we go into a home. I know. What will people be listening to? Katy Perry. A lot of Katy Perry, Taylor Swift. Yeah.

Maybe Avril Lavigne, Nickelback. Well, I wonder if the. people be listening to katie perry a lot of katie perry taylor swift yeah maybe avril levine yeah i know i wonder if the the more the hard music people would like more like your metallica's well i would they be dead by then maybe they live a harder life they don't bourbon and siggy's get your sona statistically there i think your Metallica fan probably lives a slightly harder life. But it's weird that you see rest homes with golf courses and rest homes that might go heavy on the entertainment like bingo and stuff, but you don't see rest homes targeting those different genres, do you, of people?

What, golf and bingo? Yeah, that's kind of all there is, but maybe there needs to be more targeting. Like, so you go into a rest home, but it's just for old rockers. Right. You know what I mean? Everything would be very loud. Does everything slow down, though, when you're older?

Your taste in activities? What are you imagining? You couldn't put a squash court in a retirement home. You'd be absolutely churning for your customers if you did that. Like golf and bingo and bowls. Is that as good as it gets you're just going for a walk yeah i mean everything you do you start to slow down yeah yeah you could do painting crafts yeah jigsaw sudoku

you're there i'm there this weekend no bloody way not happening i'll fly to one of those villages yeah like i could go in as a widower. I reckon I'd tear it up. What, with the single ladies? Yeah. Is that what you mean? Yeah. Oh, you're right.

Yeah. Also, your wife is outliving you for 20 years at least. For deaths. You reckon? 100. Your meat intake is way too high to make it past 80. Oh, shit. And you bloody love a whiskey.

I'm never going to get my threesome. That was my plan. I can live happily knowing when I'm 80 I can have a threesome. When you're 80. As long as it happens before I die. You can get medicinal help. I was going to be like, you'll be lucky. No worries about that.

My brother's a pharmacist. They'll be like, Philip, what do I need to lie about? I need some stiffy pills. Oh, my God. And then, yeah, get it. But I'm okay not having one. Why wait until you're 80? Why not do it now?

Because he's married. Isn't that what you had that weekend in the wine at Apple IV with your couple friend? Oh, no, that was partner swaps. Oh, right. That's the three sims completely different. Oh, yeah, right. Okay. It was still one-on-one. Yeah, right. That's a threesome that's completely different. Oh, yeah, right. Okay. It was still one-on-one.

Yeah, right. In different rooms. I'm sure Sade would be into, like, getting some dude in. See, I joke because, seriously, I would find it far too intimidating. You guys are a tub of vanilla ice cream. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, you know. Maybe I might put some sprinkles on it, but we don't need to mix any, like, chocolate ice cream.

In this analogy, what's sprinkles? Is that just, like, bringing in the Satisfyer Pro 2? Yeah. Oh, I literally thought he meant sprinkles on his penis. Oh, no. No, they'd fall off and go on the bed, and then they'd stay on the sheets. Gosh. And you know when you've got a mixture of colors and they all run?

It just goes into a purpley black kind of a brownie mess You don't want a brownie mess in your sheets. But no that made it sound like I really want one but I don't really it was just a joke but if I was like single and old if she'd passed or she's left me for a younger man because she still looks 40 and I look

210 I'd give it a blast Many truer things said in jest though. What? About your threesome. Oh, I know. I'm too lazy. I don't want the...

Yeah, nah. Not anymore. There's some reason I don't go out. People are annoying. God, herpes is everywhere. I'm so... Oh my God, you have such a sad outlook. I'm so... Oh, my God. You have such a sad outlook.

I said this once. I said, you know, I think the true secret to our successful marriage is laziness. Yeah. She said, that's romantic. Yeah. And I said, yeah, well, you've got to do what you've got to do. Yeah. Yeah.

Anyway, it's 7.30. Let's go to bed. All right. And she's like, yeah, well, you've got to do what you've got to do. Yeah. Anyway, it's 7.30, let's go to bed. And she's like, oh, for sex? I'm like, oh, fuck no. Not that, you've got to go to bed. That's a lie. When have you ever said fuck no? Never.

It's always fuck. Oh, yes. Okay, well, enjoy the podcast. ZM. Hit music. Live ZM. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. Good morning., enjoy the podcast. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

Friday morning. Friday. Thank goodness. Coming up on the show today, the Prime Minister joins us. Now, is she still in Southland, do you think? I saw yesterday she was eating cheese rolls. A classic Southland trip. Yeah, Southland delicacy.

No, I don't know. She doesn't seem to stay anywhere for too long. Yeah, right. I don't know. We'll be able to ask her. Okay, we'll catch up with her 10 to 8 this morning. Yeah, and also ask her how and what a lactose intolerant prime minister would eat if they ever went to Southland. Oh, yeah.

So they'd try to gob your cheese rolls and then you'd be farty on the bus, wouldn't you? Well, you can get, like, a dairy-free cheese. Who in Southland is making that? A dairy-free cheese. I doubt it, yeah. You'd be sent straight back to bloody Canterbury, mate, where you came from. Also coming up on the show, the top six. Yes, speaking of cheese, Judith Collins, Crusher Collins, was asked

what she thinks a block of cheese costs. She said, I don't know, $5 or $6? Which is under half of what you'd pay for a kg of cheese. Little blocks. Yeah, tiny blocks. So she obviously just chucks it in the trolley and doesn't look. Or doesn't eat cheese. No,

I think she eats cheese. But apparently... You'd specify if you didn't eat cheese and you'd say, I don't eat it. Yeah, I don't eat cheese. She's just chucking it in the trolley. The top six is the top six other best guesses Judith Collins had for how much a block of cheese costs. Alright, it's coming up the top six.

After post-COVID world, there's been a rise. 42% of people are using something. I can't decide if it's sad or genius. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. So in Britain, almost 100,000 British people have started making money from OnlyFans. So OnlyFans is a subscribed, how would you describe it? Like soft, it doesn't have to be soft core, but like.

It's a tiered, it's tiered too. There's like different levels. Yeah, like a. So people pay to have access to your account and you accept their money and then you provide, for example, for $5 they might see a little bit of side titty and then

for $10 maybe they get the whole titty. It's not just for titties. You can put your balls in it. Balls are big earners. Balls are big earners. Balls are big earners.

I just Googled 24 million registered users around the world. How many people have got no fans? So OnlyFans, this is what it's described as, a content subscription service based in London. Content creators can earn money from users who subscribe to their content, the fans. Their content, which just ends up being soft porn, pretty much. So it's up 42% in the UK since lockdown, so since March. And many of them have lost their jobs.

So one is Rebecca, she's 22, and she said that she lost her job because of COVID. And she does soft call photos while her parents are out. And she said she's not the only one among her friends who have turned to OnlyFans to make some money. Yeah, right. But there's also famous people. So Megan Button

Hanson from Love Island. She's on there. She's got a massive following. If you were a reality star and you didn't care about people saying, like, your nungas and stuff, you'd make so much money. Yeah. So there's a glamour model, Dani Harwood. She is the first British person to make a million dollars since she joined in 2019.

I think we talked about her a few months ago. Yeah. A million pounds. In a month. Wow. What's the tax code on that? Do you have to set up a bid? Do they take the tax out of it?

Or are you going to get a big tax bill? It's WTT's withholding titty tax. Right. So apparently on OnlyFans, the person, the one creating the content, gets 80%. So that's why a lot of them turn to that. So OnlyFans get 20%.

Yeah. Like an agency. Isn That's better than, isn't that better than Uber Eats? Yeah. And you don't have to leave home. Restaurants should start doing, struggling restaurants should dumb Uber Eats.

But OnlyFans, you don't get to steal a couple of chips on the way to their house, do you? No, you don't. So I think when we've talked about OnlyFans before, I think you brought up why people would subscribe to this because you can get porn for free. Yeah.

Well, the glamour model, Dani, she says even though you can get it for free, guys don't want to pay for that. They want the opportunity to get to know someone they've seen in a magazine or social media and I'm like their online girlfriend. That, no. Because you, I guess they have to talk to some of

them. Yeah, right. How much are they paying to talk to them? That's too much effort. They have to talk to some of them. Yeah, right. How much are they paying to talk to them? That's too much effort. They have to talk to people. Yeah. Oh, no. That'd be top dollar, though. One of the students said it is quite emotionally draining.

It sounded easy at the start. But that's a huge uptake. I'm guessing post-COVID with unemployment rates, if you didn't have to leave your house and you can make, you know, hundreds of dollars, then why wouldn't you? If you lost your job and it's still lockdown. Yeah, true. Like it is in a lot of countries. How are you going to get a new job?

This seems great. Is this another reason to help people get ahead? Hey, someone's. The rest of us have to pay for it. Someone might like what you've got going on. There's someone for everyone. They're not going to pay though, are they, Megan? Well, you might just need more than one subscriber though.

This is the point. Unless you get a very wealthy subscriber. Right. So you say just go for that high end. Yes. Right. So my OnlyFans content would be like how much? Like $20,000.

But I'm only going for one person. For one side titty. For one, yeah. And then one day you log on and they've unsubscribed. Oh. You're like, come back. Heartbreak. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

Netflix, normally very secretive about their numbers. Like how many people are watching. I'd just love to know all the Netflix stats. We just get a top 10 now, that's it. You get a top 10. They don't do many stats. No. Well, they've released the audience in the first four weeks of a film's debut stats for Netflix original movies.

So they're not movies that are made by, you know, and go into the cinemas and then are released on Netflix. That only go on Netflix. Yeah, originals. So, yeah, half of these I haven't even seen. Because, you know, sometimes when it's a Netflix movie, like, oh, this is rubbish. But you haven't seen them.

They're getting better because they're're getting better They are getting better Big budget They are getting better Like for example The Irishman's on the list Which was Martin Scorsese Oh I didn't watch that It was too long

Yeah it was like three Same Because it's three hours Yeah It's on my list But I'm just like It's never time Yeah

You gotta be like Alright three hours So The Irishman is five on the list That debuted and had In its first four weeks 64 million people watched that. Okay. Accounts.

Well, yeah, accounts. Single accounts. People could have watched that in groups. Following that, Murder Mystery. I haven't seen that. That had 73 million people in the first four weeks. The name rings a bell. Murder Mystery.

It was a 2019 film. It had Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston in it. Oh, yeah. Oh, I watched that. I see Adam Sandler in a movie, I'm just like, next. Six Underground had $83 million in the first four weeks. Spencer Confidential. Six Underground, I know, was the Ryan Reynolds one.

Right. But everybody said that the story was pretty weak, but the action was pretty good. Yeah. And Ryan Reynolds. Yeah. Spencer Confidential, but the action was pretty good. Yeah. And Ryan Reynolds. Yeah. Spencer Confidential, 85 million in the first four weeks. Bird Box with Sandra Bullock.

I still haven't seen that. Oh, Bird Box is great. That was good. That was really good. That had 89 million views in four weeks around the world. Yeah, they had a fair bit of online hype. The biggest movie, though, and this is only just recently out, I've seen this,

Extraction, Chris Hemsworth. I still haven't seen that. That looks boring. 99 million views in the first four weeks. It looks boring. No, it just looks like action and that's it. What's the storyline? They ran out of money for the storyline

and the writing, but it's actually directed by stunt people. And so it's very much like if you love the John Wick movies and you love action, the action is incredible. And he is amazing. Do you see Chris Hemsworth without a shirt on? Several times. Say no more.

Several times more. Yes, you do. I'm there. No, people loved it But it's just action The story's a little bit weak Yeah Because I think

They spent all their money On Chris Hemsworth I'm not a huge like Action And it has to have Some sort of storyline You said John Wick But hello

They killed his dog What more do you need What more do you need He's after vengeance Yeah It was very very angry It's like the fourth movie The next one will be The fifth movie Yeah But He's after vengeance. Yeah. It was very, very angry. It's like the fourth movie. The next one will be the fifth movie.

Yeah. But he's still after vengeance. Yeah. Yeah. They tried to kill his next dog too. Oh yeah. That's enough. That's enough.

That was enough. It's understandable. And Halle Berry's character had some dogs. That's right. I believe people shot at them as well. Will they not learn their lesson? Don't aim a gun at any dog associated with John Wick. Yeah, find out next in John Wick 5.

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top 6. Hello there. Today's Top 6 deals with the fact Judith Collins was asked on the project if she knew how much a block of cheese costs. I guess it's, I don't think it has a name, this test, but it's always to make sure that people are relatable, I guess. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Like they're aware, they do their own shopping. They have to actually work out how much things cost. They're in touch with the public. Yeah, because the average person has to be like, well, I can't afford that much cheese this week. I have to go for this option. Or that cheese is more expensive.

I'm going to go for the more budget-friendly cheese. How much is a block of cheese? Megan, go. For a 1kg, you could get it for $9 on special. $9.50. $9. Yeah, I would have said that. Because isn't it crazy the difference between, like, the supermarket brand cheese,

which is the same cheese, and, like, the fancy labels? Like, it can be $2 or $3. Or $4. I literally just get whatever's the cheapest. You go along and you're like, no, no, no, that one. Yeah, the home brand or whatever. I had a friend when I was flatting in Hamilton who worked at a dairy factory

where his job was to put the different wrappers into the different cheese wrapping machines, and it was exactly the same cheese. Yeah. They came along and they weren't cagey blocks. I'm not saying all brands, but there was at least four brands at this factory, and when that machine was finished,

you'd put it in the different wrapper, and it would wrap a different bit. Well, it's like milk. It's like milk. It's all from it in the different wrapper. Yeah. And it would wrap a different bit. Well, it's like milk. It's like milk. It's all from the same titty. Yeah. Thank you. It comes from a cow teat.

But Judith Collins had no idea. What did she say? She said, oh, $5 or $6. $4 or $5. Oh, Jesus, Judith. That's not the 80s. The good old days. Not the good old days.

What else would you ask? Well, milk is a good one. A block of butter. A litre of petrol. Yeah. How much is petrol a litre? Because, you know, most people... But that's a bit of a political number.

People know that number, don't they? Because they like to say... Right. How much is petrol a litre in the month? Oh, God, nice. Well, it depends. You don't have a car. Yeah, I don't have a car.

But it's definitely cheaper outside of Auckland. When you travel around, you're like, jeez. It's a little bit. But I don't know. What is it's definitely cheaper outside of Auckland when you travel around and you're like jeez it's a little bit but I don't know what is it 99 cents at the moment I think so I never look

I don't fill up my bicycle I never look I just I fill my car up and then when my car's like I'm full I just pour some on the ground I don't

I just keep going I'm like you're not full yet well you eat your three dollar block of cheese in the other hand yeah that's how that works so the top six today is Judith's top six other

best guesses for how much a block of cheese costs. Okay. Number six on the list. The souls of four orphans. She scares me so much. What is it? I don't know what it is. The eyebrows. The eyebrows play a

fair part to it. Yeah. Can we get her into off and on? They've seen our buttholes so they've definitely seen worse because they do the

tattooing, they do the feathering, they do the all that. Yeah. And they could and then she could check it on her Instagram and tag them

in. So what is it with the older birds in the National Party with their associations? Michelle B with the older birds in the National Party or with their associations? Michelle Bogue, when she was in the news last week, those are terrifying brows. Fierce eyebrows, yeah.

Yeah. I think you've got to have fierce brows in politics. They weren't fierce, they were. Friendly brow. What about Jacinda does that furrowed brow thing? That's quite like... Yeah. Like when I went...

It's almost like Zoolander. Yeah. Blue steel. Up a almost like Zoolander. Yeah. Blue steel. Up a little bit in the middle. Yeah. Yeah, that's not as bad. Number five on the list of the top six. Judith Collins' top six best,

other best guesses for how much a block of cheese costs. Because usually when I structure it, it's like the top six, blah, blah, blah. But I've put Judith's ahead of the words top six. You're changing it up. Yeah. It's hard. Number five

in the list of Judith Collins' top six other best guesses for how much a block of cheese costs, two, half of two blocks of cheese. Yeah.

That would have been a good one. That would have been a good answer. That would have been a good political answer because it would have kept them on their toes. Number four on the list of the list of Judith Collins' top six are the best guesses of how much a block of cheese costs.

That was pretty good. The crushed remains of three Nissan Silvias that belong to people who wouldn't drive slowly. Crushed. So she'll crush or I'll swap you some crushed Silvias for some grated cheese, perhaps. She would. Number three on the list of Judith Collins' top six other best guesses

for how much a block of cheese costs. It costs about the same if two bottles of Aurovita made milk promoted in China when they're an official government business. That's what she did in 2014. That's right. That was pretty naughty. Everyone was like, you can't do that. That's a bit naughty.

Number two on the list of, you know what the list is for by this time, I don't need to keep saying it. Usually it's shorter, so I can just say it really quickly. The bloodied scalps of your sworn enemies. Yeah. Yeah. Here's Simon Bridges.

Yeah, Simon Bridges and Todd Muller. Todd Muller. Although he left on his own accord. She scalps with other people. Guaranteed. And she'd have an ear necklace. Yes, she would, yeah. The ears of people that have crossed her.

It's just under the blouse. And number one on the list of Judith Collins' top six other best guesses for how much a block of cheese costs. What are you asking about cheese for? Are you a rat? Get back to work! other best guesses for how much a block of cheese costs. What are you asking about cheese for? Are you a rat? Get back to work. That's today's top six.

We've discussed the Masked Singer before, the US version. Remember when T-Pain won and he's actually an amazing singer? Incredible. Everyone was like, whoa. This is the show, if you don't know, they all wear a mask or a huge costume, like a mascot costume. Yeah.

And sing. And then you don't know who the celebrities are. Yeah. So they have a panel of judges who have to guess the whole series about who each of the costumes are. And we get clues along the way. But basically, you just have to listen to their voice and see if you can guess. So I get addicted and I just watch it on YouTube

so good but in Australia season I think this is the second season right I'm two or three two or three yeah

so previously they have had Lindsay Lohan as one of the judges and who were the Masked Singers it was what's his face

Miley Miley's boyfriend Cody Simpson yeah is he the Masked Singers? It was, what's his face? Miley's boyfriend. Cody Simpson. Cody Simpson. Was he the Masked Singer that won it? He was on there anyway. And that was a big secret because he was posting photos

pretending he was in LA. Yeah. Cheeky. Very cheeky. Very cheeky. But yeah, another season and because Lindsay Lohan is in Dubai, she lives in Dubai.

Right. COVID, she can't come to Australia. So they have enlisted the help of Ursula Carlson to be the extra judge. Wow. Okay. How cool is that? So she's currently in Sydney. She's quarantining.

But she does Have You Been Paying Attention in Australia. So Australians love her, but she's going to have to do two weeks quarantine over there, then film that show. Yeah, and she does a lot of comedy shows over there, aren't they? Yeah. Good stuff. I asked her how it's going to work.

They're not going to have an audience. Aren't they? Nah, they're not going to be, because it's films in Melbourne at Channel 10. So she's in Sydney quarantining before, because you can't go into Melbourne, but she had, she could go from New South Wales to Victoria. Yeah. She got

that allowance through Channel 10, so she had to get into Sydney. Right, do the quarantine there. So she's quarantining in Sydney, then she'll go to Melbourne. But then to come back, it's an even bigger rigmarole at the end of all the filming and everything. Wow, so then you'd have to quarantine when you come back to use it. Wow.

And then when they reveal who the singer is, everyone chants, take it off in the audience. So I believe they've recorded that stuff from last season. Because if you're moving to a live studio audience, they do some recording of sounds before the thing's filmed. And they make you laugh at jokes that aren't even there, eh? Small laugh, medium laugh, big laugh. They can put it in somewhere.

Yeah, right. And it's mostly to sort of disguise an edit. Yeah. But yeah, they would have recorded the take it off to bolster it. Because it's all recorded beforehand. It makes it look like it's... But they're just filming it all to get it all in the bag. Yeah, right.

And then they'll go back and edit it up. Great. They'll use the recorded stuff from the first season, I believe. Yeah. The other thing to note is because everyone's thinking, oh, well, it's just going to be like random Australian celebrities. But the producers and everything have said because of COVID, a lot of massive celebrities have come home to like hunker down during COVID.

So we could get like- Chris Hemsworth. Margot Robbie. Yeah, those are the two that I thought of. Chris Hemsworth's not going- And they're not always singers. He's not going to Victoria though. If you follow his Instagram as intently as I do,

he's all about using his time in Australia to go around Australia, like camper vanning and stuff. And he's busy trying to be Hulk Hogan, isn't he? He needs to be fuck heaps. Yeah. Yeah. But yes, a mass of celebrities could be on it. Great news for Ursula Carlson.

Have you seen a new stand-up on Netflix? No, I'm saving it. So good. Very good. Very funny. Overqualified loser is what it's called. It is. Check that out.

Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Teenagers are making the most of the COVID situation and the masks that people have to wear, as there's been many reports and TikTok videos to prove teenagers are using their makeup skills and the fact that half of their face is covered with a mask and some light costuming to dress up as senior citizens

and buy alcohol. Some of them have got, is it Zimmer frames? Is that what you call them? Yep. They've managed it. Maybe just borrowing grandmas. Yep. And they dress up in clothes much more like older people.

They go in carrying bags with scarves, glasses. They, what is it called? You like fluff your hair out. Like old people. Like permit. No, not like a permit. Put them in rollers. You know the one where they brush it. Fluff it. Maybe rollers. what is it called where you like fluff your hair out like old people like perm it like put on rollers you know the one where they brush it

maybe rollers like fluff yeah that old people do when they're going into church they want to look their Sunday best

and then of course the mask is covering so much of the face and you dare not ask anybody to take their mask off if it's wearing one and they're going and they're buying booze.

If you had blonde hair, you could put like a lavender rinse through it. Yeah. Oh, that's a big dedication. Or just put a headscarf over it. Yeah, people were doing that, the headscarf, with a little bit of a wig sticking out the front. I think the giveaway would be when the old person comes up to the counter and they've got a box of long whites under each arm. Because an old person wouldn't be able to lift two boxes of long whites.

Yeah. And they look the part, but they're like, hi, can I like just get, um, like these two boxes? Yeah, you'd have to put on an old person's voice. Or just be like, I'm just going to mumble. Just say pardon a lot. Pardon. What? Hello?

Just this thing. Wow. And they're getting away with it. Yeah. There's videos of all these teenagers in their different disguises. Oh, yeah. Okay. So you said I can go one better than a long white.

They're actually buying those tally cans of vodka-infused energy drinks. Wow. Which is not what you think. I don't think an old person's buying those. They'll kill you. So baby powder in the hair apparently is a classic one. If you've got darker hair, a bit of baby powder there, it greys it up. Yeah, right. Glasses that they found.

One of them found their glasses at home, so it might have been like grandma's old pair of glasses. Yeah. Somebody else said they got their glasses from a service station. Yeah. My dad needs glasses to read things close and he goes through so many pairs

because he'll be out on the farm and he'll put them in his pocket and they'll just fall out and they're gone so he just buys those $2 pairs from the warehouse

but they've always got like an older look to them. Does he leave the sticker on? On the lens? Yeah. No, he'll peel that off.

He can't see, can he? Yeah, true. But you're right, it doesn't stop some people. No, you see some people and it You're true. But you're right, it doesn't stop some people. No, you see some people, it's like plus 13 or 15. I don't know.

Because the sticker's a little bit transparent, but yeah, it makes that particular part foggy. But they don't want to ask if everybody else can see that foggy bit because then they'll have to go to the doctor and they don't want to go there. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A story from the UK. Sally.

Sally Bell is her name. She has a cat called Avery. Cute. Like a bird Avery. Because that's where you keep birds. An Avery, yeah. And maybe the birds go inside the cat, so that's why it's called Avery. But it's also a name, isn't it?

Yeah, maybe they just like the name. Yeah. Well, the cat Avery keeps But it's also a name, isn't it? Yeah, maybe they just like the name. Well, the cat Avery keeps bringing something home. Is it a dead animal? It's not a dead animal, no. So she lives in Bristol

and her cat Avery is bringing home... Undies. No, but you do hear about cats that bring back socks and undies. Socks and shoes and undies, yep. Pairs of swimming goggles. Goggles? Wow.

Where are you sourcing that many goggles? Well, this is the mystery because Sally's like, we don't live near a swimming pool. Like, there's not a public pool down the road that you'd be like, oh, the cat's just, Avery's just popping over the fence and into the changing rooms or poolside and taking the goggles home. Does everyone around them own pools? Is that the situation?

Do they live in a pool-heavy neighbourhood? No, she doesn't think so. Because, you know, in that area, it just looks like terraced housing. How many? That looks like more than 10 pairs of goggles. So she said how many in total? It got to four. So initially, where the cat sleeps is in the conservatory.

She found a pair, one pair of goggles. And she's like, well, that's odd. I don't know where they've come from. And then a few days later, a few more pairs. And then one day, the most the cat brought home were four pairs. In one day? In one day, the most the cat brought home were four pairs. In one day? In one day. Yeah.

And apparently the neighbours have also found swimming goggles in their garden. So I don't know what's happening and where these are coming from. You need to put a GoPro on that cat. Yeah, or a motion activated security camera to see where the cat's. Like that BBC documentary when they put the little... The GPS trackers on the cats. The GPS trackers on the cats. What was that called?

The Life of Cats. Yeah. Secret Life of Cats. They GPSed a whole town of cats. This little English town. And it was amazing to see what they all got up to. Some of them went for kilometres on a walk. I'm just looking up to see if they ever got a sequel.

Secret Life of Cats 2. Well, I mean, they did Secret Life of Pets 2, didn't they? That was ages ago. The Secret Life of Cats. That was 2014. See, I'd watch that if that was a regular series. Yeah. I'd be all about it.

It was a fascinating documentary. So when you started this, because I saw yesterday a story, and it was in the UK as well, somebody's cat keeps bringing home rogue barbecued goods from people's barbecues in the neighbourhood. What, like tongs? So she puts up a photo. No, like sausages.

Oh, okay. Well, that makes sense. Sausages, steaks, meat patties. We're bringing them home, not eating them. No, like, and then running all the way home with them and eating them when they get home. So the neighbour has to put up a photo of the cat and whatever it's eating to its community page saying, I'm really sorry it's happened again, but if you're missing a sausage that looks like this,

my cat got it off your barbecue or off the table or whatever. Well, that's what I thought. Could we open up the phone lines? Does anybody have a cat or has anyone ever had a cat or a pet? Because do dogs do this? Well, dogs don't roam. Well, they shouldn't be. Roaming as much as cats.

Cats are, you know, the neighbourhood roamers. Yeah. Well, I thought, could we open up the phone lines and take some calls? Like, when has your cat or animal brought home something weird? And maybe they have a penichon for one thing, like goggles. Well, yeah, and your hair of underwear and socks. Yeah. I've just started noticing my socks will just end up

in weird places like the cat carries them. Right. From the oldest, chuck them off near the washing machine in the bathroom and then I'll come home and there'll be like a sock

in the hallway or in the lounge. I'll be like, What's he doing with them? What's he doing? It's weird. Why would you pick up a manky sock? Maybe he misses you and he just needs your scent.

Is it the smell on a sock? Smelly feet scent. Maybe. But I was just thinking, like, if he wasn't an apartment cat, this could easily start an addiction of sock fetish where he's into the neighbour's washing lines. A woman in the UK perplexed as to why her cat keeps bringing home swimming goggles. When they don't live by a pool.

They don't live by a pool. And, like, white goggles. They don't live by a pool. They don't live by a pool. And like white goggles. Yeah. Is it because of that, you know, the soft rubbery thing? But we've got cats and goggles, and I've never seen any interaction between the two of them. Yeah, right. But, you know, different cats, different kinks.

Kinks. I won't kink shame a cat if it's into rubber. Some text messages in. There's a cat in Rangiora called Cooper who steals shoes. He's got his own Facebook page and it always includes photos of his latest hauls. So people can come and get their shoes back. How? Because shoes can be quite heavy.

Yeah. Yeah. Like a sneaker. That's nothing because there's even heavier things being dragged in by cats. Paula, what did the dog bring home? The dog came home mysteriously with a roast chicken. Cooked or frozen? No, no, cooked, freshly cooked.

And we can only assume that someone put it on their windowsill just to, you know, let it rest. Did they not learn anything from old Bugs Bunny cartoons and leaving a hot pie on the windowsill? You can't. You just can't. Oh, my God. No, not at all. We also had a cat that used to bring home live ducks from the lake down the road.

And we'd come home and there was a duck in the middle of the hallway one day and I was like, Jesus, a dead duck. But it wasn't dead. It raised its head and started quacking and running around the place. It was playing dead to the cat. Oh, my God. You dragged a duck through the cat door? Through the cat door, absolutely.

No idea why, but, you know, we used to have to take the ducks back down to the lake. Here you go, duck. Here's a lake. Wow. That's amazing. How insulting for your cat to have bought you a lovely present and took it back to the shop.

And chuck it back in the lake. Yeah, we've already got one of these. Sinead, what did the cat bring home? So we used to live in a really new subdivision that had quite a lot of show homes and the cat used to bring home all of those really expensive giant fish from the outdoor ponds. What, like a big koi carp?

Yeah, yeah. That must be so tempting for the cat, though. Do people pay a lot of money for those koi carp? I thought they were pests. They are a pest. They are an absolute pest. Got to just pop down to the Waikato River and grab a couple. And so they'd bring them back, but were they alive?

One of them was, yeah. It came home to a dead fish flopping under my bed. Oh, my God. Under your bed, too. Here you go, Mum. Oh, my God. And they do because they give it to you as a present, don't they? It's love.

This is where you lock the cat door, Sue. I felt very honoured. They can only go out. They can't get back in. Yeah. Brilliant. Thanks to you, cool. Sinead, some text messages.

My sister's cat brought home a large, fully cooked leg of lamb. Oh, yum. Can you eat it? Do they slobber over the whole thing? Nah, because they would have dragged it probably. No, just give it a rinse and then 200 in the oven for another five minutes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kill the germ.

Crisp up the skin. Could you imagine getting out the roast chicken or the leg of lamb and putting it on the windowsill and then you turn around and it's gone? All your hard work. Yeah. We were drinking in a mate's backyard and his cat, Mavis, rolled over the fence like a proud ass. Mavis! With an entire roast chicken in her mouth.

So there's a cat rocking with a roast chicken. I get that, though, because yum. Yeah, the smell of it. I get that more than goggles. Yeah. Yeah. Our cat, Steve, is a tidy Kiwi. He used to bring in pie wrappers And when we lived near school

He'd bring home the rubbish that the kids threw out Or like ripped out pieces of paper And he always kept in a little pile Box of condoms, tobacco pouch and rolly papers once But always put in a little pile Very tidy cat Oh my god, that is the cutest thing ever We had a cat that would get swimming goggles

Five sets of goggles, two sets of shoes, and dragged a two-meter-long stock whip through the cat door. It's a snake. I brought you a snake. Yeah. I killed the snake. My cat brought home an eel and decided to drop it under the dinner table in the middle of a family dinner.

That's crazy because I thought, yeah, cats were, like, scared of snakes. You put a cucumber Down on the floor And they're like They turn around And they freak out Yeah Oh my god

I haven't done the cucumber thing yet Do it please With my new cat Film it My friend's cat Collected those rubber Washing up gloves Like rubber gloves

Yeah And kept bringing them home So that's rubber Yeah Okay Maybe there is something To hear with cats and rubber Huh

They want to make their own Cat woman outfit When they get home ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The podcast Um So Huh. They want to make their own Catwoman outfit when they get home. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. So there's a change in the star signs. And either all of us do this or none of us do this. I need everyone to decide.

Yeah, because the world at the moment is great on all agreeing how to do something. I mean, this will have absolutely no effect on your life. There is a pandemic going on, and we can't get people to agree to wear masks when they need to wear masks and not go out when they need to stay home. Yeah, I doubt we're going to be getting people on board to change your star sign, especially those people that are really into it.

I'm not like, I don't live my life by it, but I've always known that I was a Leo. So, like, I don't want to change. I'm associated with it. It's such a Leo stubborn thing to do. Isn't it such don't want to change? I'm associated with that? That's such a Leo-stubborn thing to do. Isn't that such a Leo thing to do? Is it? Is it?

Well, NASA, like you said, they don't buy into, what is it? Astrology. Astrology? But they are astronomers. Yeah. So they've confirmed there's 13 constellations, which means there's 13 zodiac signs, not 12. So there's a new one and that's got to kind of shuffle in and...

Ophiuchus. Ophiuchus. Ophiuchus. Ophiuchus. Ophiuchus. Ophiuchus. Is that it? Ophiuchus.

No. Ophiuchus. Careful. I know. I was really dancing there. Ophiuchus I don't think it breaks the broadcasting

standards rules if it's a constellation Okay good Yeah But this does mean that like most people will be a different star sign

All of us have changed It kind of puts you out by a month doesn't it Yeah Shunts you into the next one Now I need to know,

I'm Googling it to try to find an answer. What is a constellation? I don't know. I thought it was a cluster of stars. Isn't it a whole bunch of stars? But do they all have to be in the same area?

I don't know. I don't know because the whole sky is a cluster of stars. A group of stars forming a recognisable pattern that's traditionally named after its apparent form or identified with it.

Like the shopping trolley. I need a science answer. Like the shopping trolley or the pot. The pot. The little pot. Yeah. That's Orion's belt. It's like NASA's description of constellations.

Yeah. Science. So what are the new star signs? Okay, I'll tell you what they are and I'll run through the dates real quick. Okay. Capricorn is now January 20 to February 16. That's you, Vaughn. Oh, that means...

No, no, no, I'm February 20. Okay. Oh, no, February 20. Sade, my wife is now a Capricorn. The old goat. I'm going to message her and say, Ye old goat. Ye old goat morning, ye old goat.

You're now Aquarius, February 16 to March 11. Okay. You're not a Pisces anymore. I was always on the cusp of a Pisces Aquarius. Now, I've just Googled Aquarius traits. Vaughn. Assertive. Yes.

Not one for going with the flow. They can live in their own world, failing to understand or engage with the world around them. I do not know what you mean by that. Analytical, original, humanitarian, independent, easygoing. Oh, bro, yep. Bro. What a load of horse shit.

Pisces is... Also says he's skeptical. Yay! Pisces is now March 11 to April 18. Aries, April 18 to May 13. Taurus, May 13 to June 21. And you are now a Gemini, Fletch. June 21 to July 20.

Gemini's the twins. I've always been on the cusp of Gemini. This is such bullshit. You are charming, flirty, and fun, and you can talk to anyone. They love to gossip, which can get them in trouble and earn enemies. I do love to gossip. You have such imaginative ideas. You can fill a partner's life with new experiences.

I don't know if that sounds like you at all. Be careful telling a Gemini your deepest, darkest secrets. Brilliant. I love it. That's true. Intelligent. Very true. So, cancer's now July 20 to August 10.

So, I've moved into cancer territory. Oh, so you've become Fletch. Cancer's are known to be annoyingly needy. When's the new one? I just want to be the new star sign. You are annoyingly needy. I am not. The way people think you are gentle and good-tempered,

but when someone annoys you, you show it in a subtle but effective way. Subtle but effective. I'm a Leo. Leo is in our August 10 to September 16. Virgos, September 16 to October 30. Libra, October 30 to November 23. Scorpio, November 23 to November 29.

And Ophiuchus. Ophiuchus. This is the new star sign. November 29 to December 17. And that means Sagittarius are December 17 to January 20. Wow. So he's really shaking everything up,

hasn't he? We've all changed so either we all change or we all decide to stay what we were. I vote we stay what we were. Yeah.

It kind of puts it all into doubt now, doesn't it? Or just read one of the signs and decide which one you like for that week.

Yeah. I was going to say that's what I was going to do. I was going to try to find it because they're still printed in the paper, aren't they? Are they? I don't know. No, I don't think they are. Yeah, they are.

Really? Yeah. Who writes them? It's the TV listing. Oh, you guys stole the puzzle pages out of the paper again, didn't you? Yeah, we did. It's on the same page as the puzzles. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. A study has been done

And it's looked at people on dating apps And conversations That people have And they've rated those conversations And the biggest turn off On a dating app Religion No

Close What's that thing they tell hairdressers Don't bring up Religion Politics And War War

That would fall into politics Wouldn't it Cheese Everyone loves cheese Everyone loves cheese Unless you like Toast and carrot Unless you

Yeah exactly No yeah you're right Politics There is a trifecta Isn't there Yeah I think there is It's politics Religion

And something else Equally If you're a hairdresser I mean I don't think isn't there? Yeah, I think there is. It's politics, religion, and something else. If you're a hairdresser. I mean, I don't think that's like a thing they teach you at hairdressing school. Guarantee it will be. Probably.

But yeah, it is politics and especially in America because it is very divisive. Because did you see over the weekend Jodie Comer, who's Killing Eve, who's amazing. She's the actress. She's the actress's Killing Eve. Who's amazing.

She's the actress. She's the actress in Killing Eve. Yeah. Right. She's hilarious. She's incredible. Everybody loves her but they've all turned on her

and they want her cancelled because she's going out with this guy who's hot but he's a Republican. And like he's a Trump supporter. Oh. That's enough for you to say Republican. Oh. And like he's a Trump supporter. But is he a bad Republican? Oh. Yeah. Oh. Oh. That's enough for you to say no. Yeah.

But then like. This is a whole sliding scale. Yeah. And so they're like, well, you've got to get rid of him. Like we all love you. You can't go out with a Trump supporter. Is the third one money? Might be, yes.

Religion, politics and money. Might be, yeah. Did you just do a Google? I did. Now you want to talk about money because you want to know they're going to be able to afford the perm. Politics, religion, and sexual preferences. Politics, religions, and sports teams. Those are the two different text messages that people have sent in.

Sports, I thought that would have been a good, you know, you're giving someone a little perm. Good fodder. And you're like, how are the Blues doing? Well, better than normal, but still not good enough. And yet, maybe they're upset because they're a Blues supporter. Who knows? I don't know. the Blues doing? Yeah. Well, better than normal, but still not good enough. And yet maybe they're upset because they're a Blues supporter. Who knows? I don't know.

Or they support the Crusaders maybe. I don't know. Anyway, there has been a 43% increase in users discussing politics, but the majority of people have found that it's a huge turn off to be talking. So this might depend on what your views are. 84% of respondents said they would never, ever consider dating someone with opposing political views.

Well, that's really hard. Yeah. Because those views come down to your morals and stuff, right? Also, half of respondents said if somebody brought up in the dating app politics, half would ghost them. They just, that would be a, that would be on vote over. Yeah. I mean, this is out of. It's also not sexy chat though.

Yeah, this is also out of America. So obviously, you know, that's a very divided country. Not that we're not. Yeah. But you know, somebody, I don't know, you're on Tinder and somebody brings up. But I feel like you need to get, from the get gogo, you need to know they're not a Trump supporter. And how hot is this ACT voter? Yeah.

I'm not settling down with them, am I? That's a long way down the track. Yeah, and maybe you can change them. And maybe they can change me. Yeah. It depends who's hotter. Yeah, right. Yeah. But if who's hotter. Yeah, right. Yeah.

But if they're an ACT voter, does that mean they're rich? Well, their parents probably are. And in turn, they will be one day. If there isn't a bloody inheritance tax born in here! Whoa, okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Women in particular, though, felt strongly about having similar political views. They met up 67% of those who would not date outside of their political affiliation.

I don't, I wouldn't. I don't think I would. You just argue all the time. How, like, that's your fundamentals, you know? Yeah. Yeah, but it's got so extreme. It's like you just can't be moderately left or moderately right anymore. Just a little bit

like in the middle but a little bit. That would be easier, right? If you were both pretty much in the middle but just a little bit different. Okay, here's something else. You find someone hot

on a dating app and you start dating them and they just don't want to vote. They don't care. Is that the other extreme? Like wouldn't you want someone at least to care about something and have an opinion on something?

Nah. As long as they're hot, who cares? ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. We're about to witness some fantastic padding while we wait for the Prime Minister. Yes. Coming up. My second favourite padding after pad thai.

And paddington bear. I was going to say paddington bear is above pad thai for me. And volleyball knee pads. I get angry when I go to thai and, after pad thai. And paddington beer. I was going to say paddington beer is above pad thai for me. And volleyball knee pads. I get angry when I go to thai and people get pad thai. I'm always disappointed. I always get pad thai. It's so unimaginative. You always get the basic.

I'm the butter chicken, the pad thai guy in the group. I'm always so disappointed. The other day I got a ginger chicken at thai. It was delicious. It's great. It's lovely. It's still pretty basic. Yeah, but yum.

And money bags. It's just good to see you doing something different. Yeah, but yum. And money bags. It's just good to see you doing something different. Yeah, thank you. Coming up, we've got Am I a Bad Person? This is a fire topic. Fire. Yeah, this is wow.

I honestly don't know where I stand on this. This is wow. This is wow. This is wow. Have we padded enough? I believe we have padded. We've padded sufficiently. Joined on the phone by the Prime Minister of New Zealand.

Good morning, Jacinda Ardern. Oh, forgive me for my tidiness. No, no, no. We were early. Here's the most shocking thing. We were early. This never happens. This never happens.

Are you still an Invercargill Prime Minister? No, I've shot back to Auckland, and I'm working in Auckland today. Okay, how many cheese rolls did you manage to devour yesterday? Well, only because I was in company, and it was a sharing situation. I only managed two. Do you think it would cost you vital points, voter turnout, if you got there and you're like, oh, no, thanks, I don't really like cheese? I can't for the life of me recall a politician ever being like, no, thanks.

Do you know, I can't even imagine that hypothetical situation. I'm very genuine about my passion for cheese rolls, so almost to the point of obsession. I went for a third at the airport on departure and they'd run out. It was probably the most disappointing part of the day. But do you think there's like a young up

and coming politician who's maybe lactose intolerant or stares away from dairy and you're going to have to sit them down and be like, look, when we're in Southland, we gobble down those cheese rolls because goddammit, if we don't, we don't stand a chance. To the best of my knowledge, there are no vegans in the Labour Party. It's not a strict

criteria of entry into the Labour Party, to be fair, but I'm assuming all your listeners know what a cheese roll is. I hope so. I didn't before I travelled to the South Island. South Island sushi, right? South Island sushi.

It's just white bread. It's basically white bread, but cheese with either, I've noticed a variation, either onion soup mix or some people use fresh onion. Have you not been briefed on not telling people's recipes?

You've just blown a national secret. Everyone keeps their secret. Oh, no, no not telling people's recipes. You've just blown a national secret. Everyone keeps their secret. Oh, no, no. Their recipe's secret. To be fair, Great South, the economic development agency, gave me a tea towel with the recipe on it. So I feel like they're fair game. And they roll them up and you can buy them with the pies.

And they toast them. Yeah, they toast them. You toast them. Yeah, they are amazing. Speaking of cheese, do you know how much a 1kg block of cheese costs? Well, it depends whether or not you're getting it on special or not. Even on a good day, over $10. Between $10 and $13 is my experience.

Would you ever buy a bag of grated cheese or would you grate it yourself? I'd grate it myself because it's never on my account value for money to get a bag of grated cheese. Yes. It's got powdery stuff on it. If you've got five minutes when we finish this phone call, I'll give you my wife's phone number and you can ring her and tell her that. Oh, she buys the grated.

Unless you've got a cheesemonger like I do in my house, the way to stop Clark eating cheese is to buy grated cheese. Right. What? He won't eat it as much? Much harder. Well, no, it's just harder to slice massive chunks of cheese for crackers when all you've got is a bag of grated.

What, have you never got your whole pour into a bag of grated cheese and just scooped it up? And what you do is on the way out, you squeeze it together and it forms like this cheese chunk here. and then for like the next few hours you're just like you've had some experience with a bag of cream cheese i've had experience with all sorts of cheeses we we were wondering off the back of that cheese question do you get briefed on like what everyone else is saying? Did you hear that Judith Collins was asked that question?

Does someone come in and be like, you have to know the price of cheese today? No, it helps that I come from a household where a lot of cheese gets consumed. And I do still go to the supermarket and do normal things like that. So it helps that in New Zealand, you know, you're never that far from those kind of debates. But no, I mean, I do.

It's hard to keep track of everything in the news. That's what I'll say. Because there's a lot going on every day. I try. Is it hard for you to do a supermarket shop Or do you get stopped all the time? I do do supermarket shops locally And I get stopped a bit But it depends how quick it looks like I'm moving

If I'm with Niamh it's really Supermarket shopping with a toddler is always a bit difficult. Some people kind of let you be then. What if you were having like a Volney's day and you had like chocolate biscuits and chippies? Yeah, I'd be worried that everyone's like looking in there and being like, hmm, okay, I'm not that healthy today. I get a bit self-conscious about the contents of my shopping.

I would. Especially when I've got stuff in even there, which might be a little bit kind of treats for the two-year-old. Oh, right, right. Yeah, yeah. I saw the Prime Minister buying her child lollies. Yeah, that kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You've got to do what you've got to do. That's a person that either hasn't had a toddler in a trolley or it's been a long time since they had a toddler in a trolley. Yeah, I think the slogan for parents with toddlers is whatever it takes. Yeah. Political and parenting slogan. Yeah. Whatever it takes.

All right, well, we'll let you get back to, I don't know, what do you eat when you're in Auckland? Not cheese rolls, but... A cup of tea and then I'm out the door. Yeah. Yep. Ah, croquet monsieur. Yeah. Bloody posh Aucklanders. I don't know what you eat when you're in Auckland, not cheese rolls, but... A cup of tea and then I'm out the door. Yeah. Yep. A croquet monsieur, bloody posh Aucklanders.

Can't even call a ham and cheese toasty a ham and cheese toasty. All right, thanks, Prime Minister. I'm just going to point out you're the one that knew the name, so... I had to Google it. Pronunciation's dodgy. Do you know what it stands for? Gentlemen. Crunchy gentlemen. Yeah.

A crunchy gentleman yeah a crunchy gentleman that's pretty much the translation of a croquette monsieur but it's just a cheese sandwich toasted cheese sandwich anyway you're pretty good from here in New Zealand

we just call it a cheese roll yeah yeah cheese toastie alright thanks have a good weekend you too guys catch you

Flash for Nomegan the podcast ZM Friday Flashback Flashback Flashback but podcast. ZM. Friday Flashback. But it's my pick for Friday Flashback today and I'm going back quite away. 1994. Now the reason I'm doing this is because

this week we had another concert cancellation. I mean, I think we all knew it was coming. But we had confirmation. We had confirmation. The Green Day Weezer Fall Out Boy show, which we had tickets, didn't we, Bourne? Yep. I owe them my birthday present from my wife.

She got us tickets. So technically she owes me another birthday present. Yeah. Have you talked to her about that? No. Well, you just take the cash back and spend that on yourself. How do I get the cash back? It's going back on the Credit card automatically

Oh just automatically Go back on Yeah Mate she's already Spent it then She hasn't said anything That's taken care of You know those groceries

I just got back From the supermarket Happy birthday Happy birthday Happy birthday Here's some cold water Have some yoga I don't like yoga

Wow Shitty birthday for you Isn't it Well that show cancelled, so I thought we'd play an old song from one of the artists. Oh, you're so brave. Thank you. We're holding Fletcher's hand through this.

It's too old. It's too old. Do people know this song? It's not. It's a bit full on. No, all of these things literally come out of your mouth. Well, with confidence. Because then when people text them bad things,

you'll just pile on and agree with them. This is what you do. No, but you're giving them the chance. They feel that you're nervous. They're like an animal. They can sense your fear. Yeah, they sense your fear. This song was recorded late 1993 and released in 1994.

Oh, shit. Are people going to know this song? They absolutely will. So it reached only 21 on the charts in New Zealand. Actually, probably Iceland. It made it to 11. I think that was a... And Sweden was number three.

And Norway, too. That was the highest this song got. Don't give them those stats. That's not selling it. Have you done this before? Are you sure you want to choose this song? Do you know what you're doing?

The US, it made it to number 16 on the Billboard chart. Tell them the other stat about the streaming. Oh, yeah, I don't have those numbers. It's their most,

this band's most streamed song and this band has been around for 30 odd years. It's their most streamed song, including all their later works. Yeah. All right, so today's Friday flashback is Green Day and Basket Case.

On to them. It's time to listen to me whine About nothing and everything All at once I am one of those melodramatic fools. Neurotic to the bone, no doubt

about it. Sometimes I give myself the creeps. Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me. It all keeps setting up up I think I'm cracking up Am I just paranoid?

Am I just sad? I went to a shrink To add on like my dreams She says it's lack of sex that's bringing me down. I went to a whore. He said my life's a bore. Joke with my wife, it's the sex bringing her down. Sometimes I give myself the creeps

Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me It all keeps adding up I face the breaking up Am I just paranoid? Yeah, yeah, yeah Grasp into control So I better hold on Sometimes I give myself the creeps Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me It all keeps ending up I'm It's your Friday flashback on ZM Green Day Basket Case. Just to celebrate the fact that, or commiserate the fact that Green Day,

Weezer and Fall Out Boy, the show for November, is officially off, which we kind of had figured would happen with COVID anyway. Someone said, Fletch, you finally got it right. Yeah, I knew it. I knew it. I had no doubts about this. I had no doubts about this. I had no doubts about this. I don't know what this means, but I just went through puberty a second time while driving to work.

Oh, is it because they were going through puberty the first time when that happened? I'd say so, yeah. Yeah, it caught them emotionally. I'm feeling that. I'm feeling that statement. Someone said, I was born early 1993, and even I know basket case word for word. It's a great choice, Fletch.

Absolute banger. Somebody said my kids are looking at me very weird. Something we're going to talk about later. Mum might have got a little bit crazy there. Relived a little bit of 90s magic. So you shouldn't have doubted. I actually haven't seen any negative texts. Yeah, and I didn't doubt at all, did I?

I said I've got an absolute banger this week. I said it's a little bit old, but I've got no doubts. When you first? I said, I've got an absolute banger this week. I said. Didn't take any convincing at all. I said, it's a little bit old, but I've got no doubts. What did you want to play when you first had Green Day? Wake me up when September ends. Yeah. Yeah, wake me up when September ends. Sure.

Am I a bad person? There's a segment of the show where you come to us, ask us a question, say, am I a bad person? And we go, oh, my God we we would never judge you uh and then we open slather let everybody else do that instead yes but it's a way to help people out in a predicament yeah uh that's why i love this segment it's always juicy uh and we welcome to am i a bad person anonymous caller good morning. You even sound sheepish. Okay, so hit us with

the predicament that you're in. Well, this is the not predicament of it. I'm very excited I'm engaged, which is, you know, it's going to be great. Congratulations. Now comes the fun of planning a wedding. Yeah, exactly. And uncertain COVID

times. Yeah. Yeah, a little bit difficult, especially we haven't decided the date yet because about six years ago, my fiance, he was actually engaged to another woman and it was his high school sweetheart and unfortunately she passed away. Very sad.

And yeah, I've been supporting him through this, especially throughout our relationship it's been quite a lot but as you can imagine because he was engaged to her now this has brought up kind of the same sort of feelings uh as he was feeling before and yeah so we've been trying to plan the wedding and there's been quite a few comments and I'm just going to call him Mandy. Keep it anonymous. There's been a lot of comments about, oh, Mandy would have loved that dress. And, you know, I've been dress shopping for me. It's been kind of about her.

And, you know, choosing flower arrangement. Oh, that's Mandy's favorite flower. Things along those lines. Like a lot of comparison is going on at the moment, which is, you know, it's a lot to handle, but I'm trying to be as calm and patient because this is coming from like family, you know, all sorts of different people. And so the latest project that I've been trying to work on,

trying being the keyword, is to make a PowerPoint of our relationship. So like pictures of us, things like that. And my partner has asked if I could put a slide in that says in memory of Mandy. And I said no. I said no, but he really wants to incorporate her in like a big way because she never got her dream wedding.

And I just, am I a bad person for not wanting to feature her in like a big way because she never got her dream wedding and i just am i a bad person for not wanting to feature her in my in my wedding oh my god but here's the thing he's marrying you isn't it she's not a threat she's not a threat is your name sandy or like randy or, like, Randy or something? Like, is he with you? Because do you look like it? Yeah, do you look like it? I mean, I haven't been looking at the pictures recently, but maybe I should take another look. I don't know.

Yeah, yeah. It's a lot to handle. Have you guys been to, like, couples, like, counselling or therapy or anything together? No. I thought that I was kind of like supporting him enough that I wouldn't have to. I was thinking more in terms of maybe they could help you navigate

his feelings and, you know, like, and try and keep them separate from your relationship. Yeah, yeah, I guess that would definitely be something to think about because i've been wondering as well for like her parents like how would they feel if there was this kind of big like second memorial happening at my wedding yeah that's a good call because it is like a memorial at a wedding isn't it and it and it's blunt, but he's dead. He had a funeral. She's dead. She's dead, sorry. He's not dead.

He's not him. I didn't think I was going to get the news on air. Your fiancé's also, no. But you know, so she's dead. That's in the past, isn't it? Yeah, like, I think that, I don't know, I feel like that, but it's also like, it's my, like, and that's what I think, but I don't know, I feel like bad,

but it's also like, it's my dream wedding, you know, like, I want to have my dream wedding and I didn't plan when I was, you know,

like, thinking of the dress growing up. I wasn't thinking, and we're also going to have like a memorial thing for this person. Yeah,

it's a lot. What? I don't, okay, I don't think you're a bad person. I'm just going to come out and say, I don't think you're a bad person.'m just going to come out and say I don't think you're a bad person No I don't either

But I think that maybe There's further Counselling or something that needs to be had For you guys to like figure out how you move forward And not have her kind of Hanging over the relationship But then I've also never lost a childhood sweetheart And so I don't know what that would be like

So you're coming up to a big moment In your life where you I've also never lost a childhood sweetheart. And so I don't know what that would be like. So you're coming up to a big moment in your life where you would have wanted to do that with her. But he wants to do it with Anonymous now. You know? Like, you've got to kind of move on. I'm team Mandy. Just for balance. Oh, okay.

I think you should change your name. I think she gets change your name. I think you should get some light surgery. I don't think anyone listening now would actually be Team Mandy. Surely not. Wait a minute. Mandy's not asking to be involved in this. This is happening without. I think, like Megan said, it's far more about his grief not being properly processed

than it is about you being a bad person. But playing devil's advocate, people do, like, little memorial things for, like, grandparents and stuff. Could you... Is there anyone else? Could you, like, incorporate it into a little group of people? Oh, I've got an idea. Set her a table placement right at the back.

Oh. Fletch. Well, this is the thing. We've actually already kind of talked about that. Maybe I should have mentioned that before. We've got a table that is, like like people that we wanted to have at our wedding or whatever, and she's already going to be there. Oh, but Mandy, that table, though, that'll be a hoot.

She can sit with the auntie and uncle that couldn't make it because of COVID. That is a dream at a wedding, though, a table that's fully catered that no one's at. Oh, my God. I'm just going to go talked that no one's at. Oh my god, extra nibble. I'm just going to go talk to Mandy. To Mandy? Who's dead?

To Mandy's people. Yeah, okay, so no catering at that table. Okay, well, let's open up the phone lines now. I feel sorry for your partner because he's obviously I mean, he's with you and I'm not saying it takes anything away from your relationship or the love he has for you, but it doesn't feel like he's obviously, I mean, yeah, he's with you and I'm not saying it takes anything away from your relationship

or the love he has for you but it doesn't feel like he's properly processed it, does it? Yeah, no, I feel like that is kind of the main thing. Yeah, it's pretty hard

to come to terms with that but we'll see how it goes. Okay, well, let's find out. Give us a call, 0800DARLS.M9696 to text him. Maybe you've been

in this situation where you've had to deal with this at a wedding and your partner, you know, wants to include an ex. How did you deal with that? Why did your partner want to include an ex? It's a lie. Yeah, no, but some people do bring their exes because they're friends now. Okay.

Like, could you imagine? I mean, you wouldn't. You'd have a full blanket ban on exes. But no, some people are friends with their ex and would invite them to their wedding. So I reckon there'd be people that have been in that situation. Am I a bad person? All right, so am I a bad person?

So there is a wedding happening, but Anonymous's fiancé has lost a partner in the past. So he was engaged in the past and she passed away, sadly. But for the wedding now, he wants to incorporate her into a lot of it. But Anonymous isn't keen. Is she a bad person? No. The general consensus thus far on the text machine is no.

Somebody said it's a firm no on Mandy. It's a firm no. Do you think I was a bit too harsh? Because I said it's in the past. No, you've just exposed your true self. My true loving feelings. No, you didn't say it was in the past. You said Mandy's dead.

Well, that's factually correct, Megan. That is actually. I mean, that's not the way you'd broach it with the partner. No, true. Similar thing at our wedding. And the best man led a toast to absent friends and family, some of which who are no longer with us. Yeah.

And that kind of sums it up. Leaves it very generic. But he wants, it sounds like he wants something specific for Mandy. It's just awkward. Like, you're marrying a different person. I'd get Calvin Cruikshank there and I'd get her to do a reading. Don't be facetious. Okay, then, Deb Weber.

Okay, we've all got our favourites from Sensing Murder, Megan. Veronica, is she a bad person? I don't think she's a bad person, but, I mean, the ex is gone, so it's not like she's actually there, really. I'll just teach you how to say gone a little bit more sympathetically. It's gone, not gone. Sorry. I mean, I can't really talk.

My ex and his new partner were both at my wedding, and, in fact, his partner was my maid of honour. So, you know, it happens all the time. People stay friends and, you know. Megan's like, there's no bloody way to be sitting for my wedding. Thanks for your call, Veronica. Chris, what do you think? Is she a bad person?

No, I don't think she's a bad person. I think there's just probably another conversation that could be had in regards to, I don't think a slide is a good idea when it's going to be a remembrance of all your photos together, but there could be something else. So coming to terms on, you know,

you love this man and he loves you. And so you need to understand the feelings that he has previously and he wants you and so you need to understand the feelings that he has previously and he wants to set something for Mandy, well respect that but still find something on terms that you both can agree on to respect or

pay tribute to Mandy. But is the wedding the time that you want to be reminded that like he loves me but he also loves his childhood sweetheart that's no longer with us? And he wouldn't be with me if he had his way. Oh, I didn't think about that. Like, when you put it like that, like, that's quite, yeah. Like, now you want a slideshow and a little photo board?

No way. Yeah, definitely not a slideshow, but just something. Something, you know, even light a candle. Go to the bathroom and pull out the photo of her. And, you know, and look at it. Look at it, and then go back into the wedding. You out the photo of her. And, you know, look at it. Look at it and then go back into the wedding. You've had your moment alone. Ruthless.

But why, you know? I don't know. Just something. Coming to an agreement because you obviously want to, you know, you love this man and you want to respect his feelings. And if that's how he feels, you can't just say to him no. Shut it off. Yeah, shut it off.

Like you approach it just in a different way and say, okay, I respect that. But I don't respect having her photo in my photo board. Can we come to an agreement of something else that works for you but also works for me? So diplomatic, Chris. So diplomatic. I love it. Thank you for your call. I like what that person said before, though. Just say

a generic for all the loved ones that can't be here. Yeah. And then you can take what you want from that, can't you? Yeah. What's everybody else say? She's not a bad person at all. I don't think anyone said she is. Somebody said, I didn't have this at my wedding, but when it came to

our first child, my husband thought his ex-girlfriend's name would be a good option. So... No. No, let me rephrase that. Absolutely not. What? Well, yeah, I wonder if this guy's going to drop the Mandy. Maybe he's a middle name. Amanda.

Oh. Ew. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The Podcast. ZM. Fact of the day, day,an and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about a town called Churchill. It's the polar bear capital.

Oh, okay. Of the world. It's in Manitoba, Canada. Yeah, right. Okay. It's called the polar bear capital of the world. And in this town, it is customary to leave your car unlocked. So that if somebody is walking and a polar bear appears and they're by your car,

they can seek refuge in your car from the polar bear. Because you don't have long. That thing will get you. Oh, yeah. They're an apex predator, the polar bear, because that's the thing

they're always like, help us. We're on a small iceberg. And you know, they are greatly affected by global warming. I'm not trying to take away from that, but they look skinny. They're like, man, the mother polar bear's skinny. And you're like, the poor affected by global warming. I'm not trying to take away from that, but they look skinny.

They're like, man, the mother polar bear's skinny. And you're like, the poor thing. And it's like, help. Or it would eat you whole. Oh, yeah, absolutely. It would tear your face off. They're very hungry. But is there enough like walking the streets that they need to do that?

They are. It is the polar bear capital of the world. Huh. Yeah. I'd still go. People don't steal cars. Yeah. Pardon me?

The fear of being attacked by a polar bear is better than... No, no, no, no, no. People don't steal cars. Because there's no challenge. It's a small town. Yeah. Yeah, and everybody knows each other. It's not a huge...

But one week in 2015, they had 52 polar bears walk into town. Did you say in one week? Yeah. Whoa. Yeah. Oh, my God. Do they have stats on how many people get attacked or, like, die from? I don't have direct polar bear stats,

but they have got a radar system, so they can see if, like, any group of animals is coming through. They might get a little radar system. Do they have like a siren? Boop. Boop. So polar bear attacks on humans are extremely rare according to records. Because we don't hang out in the same areas mostly.

Yeah. Out of 73 fatal bear attacks between 1870. Oh, wow. And 2014, only 20 have been the result of polar bears. Oh. Oh, wow. Right. Because we don't tango with them. Yeah, you'll get away. And people have got to leave their car doors unlocked so you can hide from them.

Yeah. So they're also surrounding the town, there's strobe lights and sirens, which apparently deter the bears from coming any further. And then those old army radars that they're trying to teach to detect the difference between just like dogs. Because your dog might just be out, you might let your dog out to go wheeze just before you go to bed

and it might trigger it and think it. And then the strobe lights come on and the loud siren noises and your dog will shit itself. But that's good too because you want it to do that before it goes to bed. Bad news of polar bears like deep, hard and funky strobe lights. Oh, they'd love it. With the loud noises. Yeah. Deep Hard and Funky, yeah.

Flashbacks to the mid-2000s when they were in that stage of their life. Yeah. They'll be all about it. Get up there. Just turn it up. All the polar bears are like, where's the DJ? I want to make a request. I've got a couple of great songs. They love it when you make a request, don't they?

Who, polar bears?? No DJs. Imagine a Polar Bear DJ. Now imagine asking him for a request. It wouldn't be like, nah, or I'll play it next. Or, no, no, no, I'm not doing requests. It'd just be like, rah, I'm going to eat you. And that's the price you pay for requesting Katy Perry at God's Kitchen. It is, yeah.

Okay. Whatever all those other raves were called. So today's fact of the day is in the town of Churchill, Manitoba in Canada, it is customary to leave your car unlocked to help out fellow humans should there be a polar bear. Fact of the day, day, day, tay, tay. the age of 25 is allowed to rent property. Have they started it? I would have thought Airbnb would be like taking business from whomever. Yeah, you think so. Because in these times, yeah.

Well, they've published a new set of rules. So I don't know when they're going to implement. So I saw this, but you can't get a whole property, right? But I think you could still get like a room where you stay in their house. Yeah, or like a hotel or that kind of deal. Yeah, but not a whole property. Yeah, because you're going to party in it, basically. With that said, we know that people over the age of 24

are perfectly capable of booking a home for the wrong reasons too, but based on the positive impact of this policy is had on unauthorised parties booked by guests under 25, we believe this is the right action to continue to protect the safety of our community. Do you know another red flag for them is people booking whole properties in their own neighbourhood?

Because they're like, that's an indicator that you're going to have a party? Because it's in your own... Oh, right. Why wouldn't you just be staying at home? Yeah. But you're going to wreck somebody else's house like you have a dad's.

But my question is, like, say you have a group of friends and someone turns 25. Yep. Can't they just book it? And then all your 24-year-old mates come? God, who's putting their name down on that? Not me.

Or you invite Uncle Fletch to the party and you put his name and then you have a party. Like, what's to stop that from happening? Or your mum or dad do it. But then again, what mum or dad's like, oh yeah, I'll get you an Airbnb. Little Timmy and all your 18-year-old friends. Like, no one's doing that. But if you are someone who is under 25 and you

have positive, over three positive reviews and no negative reviews, you'll be exempt. Oh, okay. So just make sure that party's real good. You could go and stay in like someone's house three times in a shared room situation. That would give you three positive reviews, right?

Yeah. Huh. It's a lot of effort. I'm just finding loopholes here. Yeah. It's a lot of effort. I love how straight away we've gone to loopholes. Yeah.

Get an older friend. Well, that's what makes us savvy business individuals. It is. We automatically try to identify how people might try to cheatopholes. Yeah. Get an older friend. Well, that's what makes us savvy business individuals. Yeah. We automatically try to identify how people might try to cheat the system. Yeah, not us. And then we can design the system.

Yeah. And then cheat it. Yeah. Yeah. Easy. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM.

A jeweler, you might remember earlier in the year, this guy, a long time ago, hid a treasure. Like actual treasure too. It was like old gold and stuff.

Yeah. It was worth a million dollars. Yeah. What's that mountain range in America called? I always want to call every mountain range the Andes. The Rockies. The Rockies. The Rockies.

The Andes. Not the Andes. The Rockies. So he hid it in there. People died trying to find this treasure, and earlier this year somebody actually found it, which is weird for them because when the world was getting flushed down the toilet, they were like, well, this is nice.

Didn't the guy who hid it, he died before someone found it? Yeah, he died just before. And people have been looking, was it 10 years? Yep. 10 years of treasure hunt. And they finally found it. Well, maybe it was the popularity of that that has led a jeweler in America to do kind of the same thing. Johnny's his name, and when COVID-19 hit,

he had to shut his shop. Yeah. And he's like, well, I'm a jeweler. And he noticed people where he was from, which is in Michigan. It's called Washington Township in the state of Michigan. People were losing their jobs, people that did have jobs, and he said

there was no point going to work because nobody was buying jewellery as a priority. And he said to his wife, we've got two options. We take the jewellery and we retire. We sell it, bit by bit, make what money we can, or we bury it.

And we do massive treasure hunts. So, I don't know. How are they going to make money out of treasure hunts? Well, Megan, that's you have to buy into being part of the treasure hunt. So it's like a lottery. So you'd have to, if you did this in New Zealand, you'd have to set up

get a permit and stuff because you can't have people buying tickets. I don't know if it is because it's a game of skill. It's not completely random. Yeah, it's not like you just get a ticket and stuff because you can't have people buying tickets. Well, I don't know if it is because it's a game of skill. It's not completely random. Yeah, it's not like you just get a ticket. So there's dozens of spots from metropolitan Detroit

through to the upper peninsula of Michigan. Right. And you go to the website, which is Johnny's Treasure Quest. Yeah. Oh, that was hard. Johnny's Treasure Quest. Johnny's Treasure Quest. And. Oh, that was hard. Johnny's Treasure Quest. Johnny's Treasure Quest.

And you click on Start Your Adventure. Now, there's different groups. Right. For example, a specific quest, the Oakland Co-Quest 1 is sold out. Right. Only so many people can buy tickets to each event. Right. But there's one that's new today.

It's called the Macccomb b co quest yeah and that is open for tickets to be purchased and there's one another one that's listed on there is coming soon and he said he's got like dozens of them hidden around the prizes are are four thousand two hundred dollars each one approximately each first person to each treasure quest that happens right i guess about that and it's got like silver about that. And it's got like silver, it's got jewels, it's got gold. Question. Answer. Is it a physical treasure hunt?

Yes. So you can't do it online? No. How much are the tickets? Enough to cover the jewellery. It doesn't say in the article I read, and I went to his thing, and it won't tell me until I like sign up and join.

Don't do that because you'll be getting spammed forever. It's like a geocache, but you pay to get in and there's a decent prize. Yeah, and so what happens is you join this Facebook group. Like I said, some of them have already sold out. There's a new one today. You join the Facebook group. It is a closed private group and the clues get fed into that group. Right.

It's pretty exciting. And then if you solve the clues, you'll find the treasure and you've got the treasure. Because that's considered like a game or a race or something. So I don't know if you would need a permit. Yeah, because it's a game of skill. It's not just a random. Oh, but then. No, you see, making money off of it.

Yeah, but how is that different to making people pay to run a race? To enter to run a marathon. And then they win prizes at the end of it. Oh, yeah, that's true. But then don't you have to register those as well? Oh, I don't know. Neither. Let's just win the treasure first and worry about your bloody tax later, mate.

I'm sure, what, did pirates do this? Arr, before we head out, Blackbeard, I'm the ship's accountant. I simply must insist we fill out the correct tax forms. We don't want to get back to shore and owe the IRD $10,000. Arr. You didn't fill out the IRD 474 tax return sheet correctly. It's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast,

why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. And you say it lives here. ZM.