ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 17th June 2020

Episode Date: June 16, 2020

What happens if you don't have sex?  Community Notices  Home Beauty Hacks  Bluff or Stuff  Did your partner cheat on you with their ex?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, brought to you by McCafé. Grab yourself a delicious barista-made coffee for only $4. ZM. Hit music. Lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Oof.

A couple of COVID cases. Eh. Eh. Ooh, eh. How pissed off is New Zealand? So pissed. Oh, I know. We're wild.

The comments on the live feed yesterday. I hope for these two women's sake that they are never identified online. Yeah. Because they'd probably be the two most hated people in the country right now. Yeah. I am sure they'd feel pretty bad bringing it back into a country that hasn't had any cases. I would. Do you reckon they did just wazz on the side of the road

on the way from Auckland to Wellington and not get petrol? Well, that's what they said, yeah. What if they went to a self-serve petrol station? Their grubby hands on the... Touch the buttons. They touch the buttons. Yeah, but everyone's got grubby hands. Well, as long as the next person that touched it

washed their hands before they touched their faces. Yeah. Right, because I saw an article yesterday, is it possible to drive from Auckland to Wellington like they are alleged to have done on a full tank? And if you've got an economical car and you're not speeding, it is possible. Right. I always remember there was a Toyota thing about how a Hilux could get from Auckland to Wellington and back on one tank of diesel. Right. With that big ute tank.

Really? Oh, yeah, big ute tank. And, you know, economical driving in a diesel ute. Yeah, okay. But enough my car. What do I get? How far is it? How many Ks?

I get about 700 Ks. In the little Honda. It's not little. It's a family sedan. But then that's a lot of stopping and starting and some urban driving. But if I was on the open road, cruising on the open road. 643.2 kilometres. Yeah, okay.

By State Highway 1. Yeah, I think my car would do that too. But when did they fill up? Did they come in contact with someone at a service station in Auckland? Where did they get the car from? I think it was dropped off for them at the hotel. Full of gas. Fully gas, and then they just went. Yeah.

Well, that's the most unbelievable part of it. No one ever drops a car off full of gas, do they? And no one's, like, you always, we always stop at that BP for nuggies and coffee. Yeah. Yeah. Hmm. You're telling me they said no to a pie that whole way. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM.

What happens to your body when you go without sex for a long time? Now, for the purposes of this study, they did 12 to 14 weeks, like COVID-19 standards. That's the long time. Yeah. Is this why they've done the study? Yeah. Because everybody's locked up?

Yeah. And not able to, unless you're like isolating with your long-term partner, then you might be foregoing a bit of sex. But it does actually affect your body in a negative way. So you may feel more stressed and that's because when you have adult fun times, you release, what's a nice hormone? Oxytocin. Yeah, you release oxytocin and happy hormones

and dopamine and stuff. Serotonin. So they're natural, yeah, natural mood boosters. So if you don't have that, you generally feel more stressed. Right. However, as an asterisk, they have said that doing it by yourself or going to the gym will help. What do you mean? Doing it by yourself at the gym? No, no, not at the gym. Megan, that'll get you arrested.

Not at the gym. And you'll lose your Liz Mills membership. You're playing with yourself in the corner. Don't do it at the gym. Right. So exercise. Exercise will release the hormones. Okay.

And so will a cheeky. The end game is the same. Yeah. It doesn't really matter if you're by yourself or with someone. You're right. I find I cry less when I'm by myself. The end game is slightly different. We've understood the crying

Is it happy or sad? No, I was just joking around I've looked into it No, I've never cried I've just been too stoked After sex Never But is it happy tears?

No, it's like you're getting those hormones Those hormones flood your body And some people have a different sort of reaction to the hormone change that's really immediate. And they might feel overwhelmed with emotion and they might cry. Yeah. Never seen that. I wasn't judging. I was just wondering what that was.

Because I wondered why as well. But it's involuntary. Yeah. Have you ever had a massage and you start to feel like there's a sacral nerve or something? But apparently it's really linked to your emotive state. Really? I didn't think you would be someone to believe in that. No, well, my mother-in-law did that massage thing.

Yeah. And I just looked into it. But it's like the nerves can trigger, shoot electrons in the brain. And so the nerves can trigger, shoot electrons in the brain. And so the brain can like, purum, purum, and then that makes you, you can like burst into tears getting a massage. God, that would be embarrassing. I know. At least your face is sound. Yeah, just cry quietly into the hole.

Yeah, just drip tears. Your snotty nose and tears are dripping. Drip into that fake flower. Yeah. Your sleep and memory could be disrupted, and that's the same with serotonin. You're not getting the happy hormones which help you sleep, which is why afterwards sometimes people fall asleep.

Right. Because it's like they're flooded with the hormones and you're like, no, no. Yeah. Well, it's a maker or a breaker. Yeah. It'll either wake you up or a breaker. Yeah. It'll either wake you up or put you to sleep.

I've heard this one. Get you going or lay you down. This one before, and this is also very important during a global pandemic, it's good for your immune system. Really? Your immune system benefits from the organisms. The orgasms. Right. So, again, that one doesn't really matter

if you're with someone else or by yourself. It saves some money on vitamin C, cold and flu tablets. Yeah. But then that's the, that's the stress as well,

right? Because as you said, it's like a relief for the stress and stress is quite bad for the immune system. Yeah. And in terms of males and females, it can affect your

bits and pieces. So for females, it can affect your bits and pieces. So for females, the walls of the vaheen will get thinner and tighter if you're not regularly partaking. Yeah, because that increases blood flow to the area. For men, it increases your risk of erectile dysfunction. So what you're saying is get out there and get some. Play with yourself. Or play with yourself.

I mean, that does work too, apparently. According to this, it's just as good. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Never really thought about the Wi-Fi underwater. It's never even occurred to me. Why would you need, unless you're in a submarine? Yeah.

Or one of those, you know, those tourist helmets. There's restaurants under the water. Or yes, restaurants under the water. Oh, yeah, but no, because the restaurants under the water can run a cable down and have a router down there. Yeah, true. But like submarines, I no, because the restaurants on the water can run a cable down and have a router down there. Yeah, true. But, like, submarines, I'd never thought about that. Yeah.

That's a good point. How do they? Well, they ping, don't they? They're like, ping. Yeah, but they've got to have a little bit of a come in, other submarine, don't they? Yeah. I don't know.

Maybe they use radio. Yeah, how does that go through water? Unsure. So much to think about in this brand new under the water experience. But they have invented underwater Wi-Fi so that divers can live stream. I mean, it's not like I'm not talking about like an Instagram influencer going under at the Great Barrier Reef and live streaming a turtle they just saw. This was more for people diving wreckages and things like that.

Just to what? Get their Facebook notifications. Yeah, I guess so. While they're swimming around a submerged sunken ship. Because they traditionally it was all cable. Like all your communications to divers would be hardwired and cabled. Right. And you wouldn't be able to do data transfer as easy as if it was Wi-Fi.

So apparently up to 10 meters depth, you can use LED, which I'm guessing is some sort of jazzed up Bluetooth. Yeah. And then after that, for 20 metres and beyond, is laser. So the diver would wear a laser receiver on the back of the tank. Yep. And then that would create a small Wi-Fi bubble around them so that then they could use a handheld device.

Wow. Yeah. But, I mean, you might as well have it on a cord from there. Might as well, yeah. Have it straight going. That's pretty cool. But yeah, I'd never thought about Wi-Fi under the water. Still, I can't get good Wi-Fi in my bathroom.

So this is an issue. We should be fixing routers. You need to walk around with your laser on your back, your laser receiver. Yeah, we just need to be sorting out our home Wi-Fi black spots before we start caring about the 10 people underwater that are ever going to use this. Right.

Submarines communicate, I've just Googled, by using ELF or VLF radio waves because they're very low and extremely low frequencies that can penetrate water. So they go through the water? Yeah, so they can communicate through the water. Do they go up and down a little bit less? They just kind of go straight through.

I don't know. Huh. Okay. Oh, yeah, there's parts of the mall I go to where you can't even get Wi-Fi. It really annoys me. Yeah. When you're trying to send pictures like,

can I buy this? Does this look hard? Yeah. Well, at least if you don't get a response, you just buy it and be like, you didn't text me back. You think that's why the shop does that? Maybe.

Probably blocks out your 3 or 4G. So you can't get permission to spend. And you just do it. So you just spend anyway. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan's Community Notices. Hello and welcome to Community Notices, a segment of the show where we have a look at what's happening around New Zealand

according to local Facebook pages. Caleb has posted on the at pets free to a good home or selling in the Dunedin area page. Doesn't that roll off the tongue? Does anyone have a small dog for sale that is not too dear or free, please? Okay. Somebody does comment that if you want a dog for free, how will you care for one if you can't afford to buy one?

They are an expensive investment. Good point. But Serena rolls in with a, You're a child. Go enjoy PlayStation. Ride your bike. Don't play with aerosols and matches. You could end up burned in the hospital or burn your house down.

I hope you take notice. I've seen a young man do the same thing, scarred for life in agony with his burns. What the hell? Where did it come from? What? Wow. Where did this aerosol, this unprompted aerosol warning come from? Weird.

No one knows. I mean, it is sound advice. It is. But it's not like his profile picture is him making a flamethrower with an aerosol can or anything. It's just... Well, let's go to the Ohakuni Winter Staff 2020 page.

Ethan has said, for anybody interested, just call the number and it looks like an ad stuck in the window of a building. Great news for Ohakuni. There's that level one open for business. Many families will be enjoying a ski there in the central North Island.

And also great news is there's an adult shop opening soon. An adult shop? This is the ad stuck in the window. However, no expense has been spared. Look at that. It's written on an A4 piece of paper. And some of the sloppiest handwriting. Wow. Opening soon.

Adult shop Ohakuni. Novelty toys. Bandage supplies. Aww. Just in case you hurt yourself up the mountain. Bless. Adult video viewing rooms.

Private. PVC lingerie. Wow. How do you get that? How many people live in Owakuni? Like, no locals are going. I know. Small town, eh?

It would get round pretty quick. Because you'd be like, I saw bloody Steve walking in the other day. Huge range of Dido's. Oh, I love Dido's. This has got to be a joke. That song, White Flag? Yeah. So good.

There wasn't a huge range of Dido songs. He's obviously got the whole back catalogue of Didos. Male and female Didos too. Oh, really? Wow. Part-time positions available. And then there's a phone number there. So if you're off to Ohakuni for the winter season.

But you know what? Sometimes you go all the way to Ohakuni for a couple of weeks of skiing and the mountains shut. And you know what? Sometimes you go all the way to Owakuni for a couple of weeks of skiing and the mountains shut. And you forgot your Dido. So what a treat this sounds like. Yeah. Get in there.

This is from the Fiti Chiti Chatty page. This is from Fiti Anga's community. Sheree writes Does anyone know anyone that's had COVID-19 or still has it? Because I'm still finding it hard to believe there's even a virus at all. Oh, my God. I mean, just look at the any world news. Yeah.

No, just like thousands, hundreds of thousands of people are dying around the world for a laugh, I think. It's all a big trick. It's all a trick, yeah. From the Cambridge, New Zealand grapevine, Callie's got a quick question for your online community and information.

Does anyone know if Countdown is selling cooked chickens? They always sell cooked chickens, don't they? Yeah. I mean, any supermarket sells cooked chickens, right?

Yeah. But maybe, was she worried they were out of cooked chickens? Yeah, or like they have them today. Or maybe she'd been and there hadn't been cooked chickens on a previous date. Or does she mean in a post-COVID world? Because you know how like buffets and stuff are on hold? Oh, yeah, but they're all wrapped up.

They're in a bag with that searing hot volcanic juice. How does the juice stay so hot? And then you put it in that little tin foil bag thing and you roll the end and you get it home and you're like,

this will have cooled down. You pull it out and the juice runs down your hand and you're like, it is not cold! It still burns! And finally,

let's pop to my hometown, Morrinsville, Cowmunity Notice Board. Oh, God. They love cows down there. We know it. Let it go.

Steve writes, short Latina woman. Okay. Then he writes, shit, I was meant to Google that. Then he writes, then he writes, how do I remove all these comments?

Oh, my God. No word whether or not Steve is just having a bit of an LOL there, but it sure tickled a few fancies. That tickled me. That's good stuff. It's like when you see an auntie or an uncle or a mum or dad post a status on Facebook when they were meant to search.

Write it on somebody's phone when they were meant to write, like, happy birthday, I hope you and Steve are well. It's in their own status. Oh, bless, that's always a good one. Those's in their own status. Oh, bless. That's always a good one. Those are today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page or wherever you keep in touch with your neighbourhood,

screen cap it and send it to ours. We are FEMZM on all the socials. So volunteering is not only good for the people or the community that you're helping, it's good for you. So when you give, you also receive, but it's not so much tangible goods. You will have a longer life if you volunteer. And you don't have to do it your whole life either. It's not like something you need to start now.

For a week? I don't know if a week's going to help you. But they did a massive study of 13,000 people who participated in this. Right. And even people over 50 that started volunteering for about two hours a week had a considerably lower risk of death. It doesn't change if you've got a chronic illness, though, they wanted to point out.

It's not going to suddenly cure your chronic illness. Right. But just general health, it can extend your life. Because what it gives you kind of like a purpose and a warm, fancy feeling. Yeah. So it's the socialising. You get more exercise if you're out and about volunteering, just like rather than sitting on the couch. Yeah.

We're social creatures by nature, so it's keeping your mind and body active. Serotonin then gets released into your body, which is the good... The good stuff. The good juices. Because I reckon when I retire old, just do, you know,

see those old cute old ladies and guys at the airport that volunteer and tell people where to go? Are they volunteers? In their little blue uniforms. Yeah, they volunteer. So I could think of all. Can they give like a free lunch for you? You would love that.

I would love that. I'd be like, it's just down there past the luggage. Oh, but you'd have to talk to people. You'd be like, stupid question. Yeah, I mean, you'd probably have to tell a few people they're a bit stupid. Is this your first time travelling, you moron? Yeah, you really like airport stuff, but not the people stuff. Yeah.

No, but it's volunteering, isn't it? Yeah, but I think they can tell you not to come back. Oh, yeah, probably. Technically, you can get fired from your volunteering. They probably have some pointers on how they can streamline their efficiencies as well. They probably wouldn't appreciate that. You'd bowl up to the counter and they're like, oh, God, he is flinching. But it'd be great, though.

That'd be a good volunteering gig, I reckon. You've just got to find the one that suits you. What would you do? Something with plants. Oh, yeah. Like planting things or gardening. You could go plant trees on an island. You could go pottering someone else's garden.

Yeah. Or plant trees. Or you could weed people's gardens that can't do it because they're too sick or something. Yeah. You could do that. I're too sick or something. Yeah. You could do that. I'd be down for that. What would you do?

I'm doing enough. Okay. I don't know. What could I do? I don't even know what I could do. You'd be too busy doing your own lawn. Yeah. You'd be too busy doing your own.

It's being nosy in your neighbourhood. Mowing down the road. Yeah. Keep going. Mow other people's berms. See where I end up. No, that's the council's job. We don't pay rates to, I'm not volunteering to help the bloody council.

I pay them already. Megan, I pay them. You'd be a grumpy old prick. You would be. You're going to overtake Fletch and the grumpies. No, a couple of days at the airport, he'll be king grumpy. I'll give up your volunteer gig at the airport. Too many stupid

people asking stupid questions. See all the signs up there? Yeah. Look. That's where the toilet is. There's a little arrow. That's how you'll say it. Stupid people. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

I really wanna know. Who the bloody hell are you? Who the bloody hell are you? Who the bloody hell are you? This is a segment where we get someone on the phone. They get given by our producers a person of note. Now, we have a minute to ask yes-no questions to find out who this person is. Playing this morning. AJ, good morning.

G'day, mate. G'day, mate. G'day, mate. All right, so you've been given a celebrity by our producers. Correct. And we have one minute with yes, no questions, as Megan mentioned, to find out which celebrity you are. All right, so, Vaughan, are we ready? Megan.

Yes, ready. Okay. One minute starting now. Are you an actor? Yes. Ready. Okay. One minute starting now. Are you an actor? Yes. Are you a male actor? Yes. Are you an American male actor?

Yes. Oh, we're nailing it. Do you mostly do action movies? No. Are you a spunk? People are like, that guy is hot. No, not really. Okay.

Would you say you're an older male actor? Yeah. Okay. Do you do comedies? No, not really. Have you had any movies released in the past year? Not that I know of. Are you a dramatic male American actor?

Uh, I'd say so. Ooh. Have you won an Academy Award? Ooh. I'd say so. No. Have you won an Academy Award? Oh. I'd say so. No. Oh, no. Now we each get a guess.

Okay. Oh. See, I want... Okay, I've got a guess, but he's not American. I was going to say Liam Neeson. Same. I was thinking Liam Neeson. No, because you said you do action movies,

and he was like, um, hum-ha about it. You would say Liam Neeson's an action movie man. Are you Liam Neeson. No, because you said, do you do action movies? And he was like, um, hum-ha about it. You would say Liam Neeson's an action movie man? Are you Liam Neeson? No. Oh, God. Okay. Does he go with the clue? Well, that's the only one I knew, isn't it?

Megan. Vaughan, do you have one? Are you Clint Eastwood? He does action movies. What? He does action movies. What? He does action movies. Oh, yeah, but he hasn't known one for ages.

Are you Mark Ruffalo? No. Why did you say Mark Ruffalo? I don't know. Mark Ruffalo. Who are you, AJ? Who the bloody hell are you? Who? Tom Hanks.

Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks. That was my next guess. I'm really upset with myself, actually. Should have thought of Tom Hanks. Should have thought of Tom Hanks. Have you had coronavirus? Has Tom Hanks won an Oscar? He has, hasn't he?

He's won like a million. Yeah, that's on you, AJ. I'd say so. Yeah, he did say I'd say AJ. I'd say so. Yeah, he did say I'd say so. I'd say so. But that made me think it wasn't like a really... So he's won two. Forrest Gump, Philadelphia for Best Actor.

And he's been nominated four other times. Oh, what an actor. What an actor. What a man. What an American male actor not considered a heartthrob. Does that mean AJ wins because we didn't guess it or does he not win because we didn't guess it? We just lose, I think.

No one wins, Ed. Except for Tom Hanks. Brilliant. I've heard about this. Washing your hair with beer makes your hair really shiny and nice. Especially good for curly hair because it increases the elasticity. The elasticity. But don't just grab like a can of beer out of the fridge and chuck it on.

You have to like leave it overnight. It has to be lukewarm and flat. And then you shampoo your hair and then you rinse the beer through and massage it through. So you do it as a conditioner of sorts. Yeah. So it literally will still smell like beer. Oh, yeah. Because you're only rinsing it out.

Ew. And I don't think that's for me. But, yeah, some people are swearing by it, saying it leaves the hair nice and shiny. Well, why don't you... Sounds like a lockdown treat. Yeah. Yeah.

You try and lock down. Because you run out of conditioner. Or you'd not be around too many other people that you smell like beer. Like, who's going to crack open a can and then, like, leave it just for your hair? But you know, after a party, everyone has, like, half-finished bottles of beer.

Yeah, because you pour it on your hair and it'll be a cigarette butt in the bottom. Oh, yeah. And you smell like ciggies and booze. You just smell like a big night. Yeah. Yeah. But off the back of this, I wondered if there was home remedies that people do, home beauty hacks.

Right. Because I put honey on my face. What, like clover? Or manuka? I've got a manuka one, which I don't actually eat that much honey. Right. But, like, I put honey on my face. But what do you just smear it on your face?

What is that doing? Yeah, well, because once I had a honey mask, and it was literally just honey and something, all natural, and it tasted good, so it literally must have just been honey. So I just like, I'd like to put honey on my face because it like soothes it. Right. Avocado? It's good for you to eat, so I figure it must be good on your face.

But if you're doing a honey mask, is it real tempting just to be like... Well, no, that's the good thing because if it dribbles down, you're just like, yum. Scrape it off with a spatula at the end of the day and put it on some toast. Yeah. Waste not, want not. But do you swear by that? Yeah, well, I do lots of masks. That's just one.

Like, especially if you've got, because I rash up a lot. It's a nice soothing one. I'm not surprised you rash up a lot. You're putting honey on your face. No, if I try a different mask and I get rashy, then I just go back to the honey. Well, you're trying these masks that always make you rashy. Aren't they always making you rashy? Because I've tried back to the honey. Why are you trying these masks that always make you rashy? Aren't they always making you... Because I like to try different ones. Yeah, I know. You should just

stick to the natural ones. Have you ever smeared avocado on your face? No, but I've got an avocado mask, which just literally looks like avocado. Yeah, I've heard of people just using an actual avocado. What about avocado and honey? How much is an avocado mask? Because you know when avocados get like $8 each,

could you just use a mask on your toast? Yeah, but then I wonder how much avocado is actually in it. There's probably not a whole avocado in there. There's some other stuff. Oh, it'll be mushed up peas. Yeah, they always spit out the avocado with mushy peas. Exactly, that's how you make avocado go further. Yeah.

Use some filler, some pea filler. Yeah. But you two don't have any home beauty hacks? Nah. Yeah. You use some filler, some pee filler. Yeah. But you two don't have any home beauty hacks? Nah. Nah. Nah. Okay. If I want to get like greasy stuff off my hand, I've got like

the sand and I just like put my hand in the sand. But that's just like using a, you know, you get a really like gritty soap. Is it because the sand soaks up the oil and grease? I think it just like acts like a- Exfoliant. A brace of exfoliant, yeah, and it kind of gets it off.

You could stick the soap in the sand and you've got an exfoliating soap. You totally could. You could use bar soap, but you could do that. Use bar soap to like, yeah, there's bar soap in the garage to wash your hands. Okay, well, beer conditioner. Beer in the hair for what did you say? Shine? For shine and elasticity.

Okay, do you have like a home beauty hack? Washing your hair with beer is a good way to make it shiny and elastic. Apart from then smelling like a can of Tui for the rest of the day. And having people walk up behind you and be like, did you just smell lovely, love? I don't know what it is about you, but I can't say no. So we wanted to know your home beauty hacks. Yeah, if you've got one.

Rebecca, you've got a home beauty hack. What's yours? I make my own coffee scrub oh okay so like an exfoliator right okay

so you have to get the coffee grinds I'm guessing yeah not always outside the petrol station you know they're like help yourself

only for the garden yeah but it's still coffee grinds right okay and then what what do you put in there because I've used I've seen those before

and there's sugar is in there yeah brown sugar and coconut oil oh okay Okay, and then what do you put in there? Because I've used, I've seen those before, and there's sugar is in there? Yeah, brown sugar and coconut oil. Oh, okay. And then you mix that all together. You can actually make that and sell it, because I have an endless supply of coffee grounds.

From the cafe? Yeah. Yeah, right. And then what, you just rub it on, but then do you, the coffee doesn't stain your face, does it? It doesn't what, sorry? It doesn't stain your face. No,? It doesn't what, sorry? It doesn't stain your face. No, no, no, no, no.

Okay. You all right? Because I don't want to accidentally... I don't accidentally want to be cancelled. No, it was the scrub. Okay, good idea. And yeah, it's coffee. What is the jury, what is the opinion on coconut oil though?

Because this doesn't clog your... I thought we weren't doing coconut oil anymore because it clogs your pores and stuff. Yeah, Rebecca. Do you have clogged pores? I hope not. It's very hydrating. You don't sound clogged. No.

Thanks for your call, Rebecca. Lisa, what's your home hack? I actually make my own, like, lush little hair mask. Ooh. Ooh. So what? Are you willing to share the secret? What's in it?

Yeah, so you just take a little bit of, like, unsaturated oil and then some avocado, put it all together, just chuck it on your hair. What's unsaturated oil like? What's unsaturated? Right. And that just makes your hair really shiny and lush or something. Yeah. I don't know, Megan?

Just like you're in one of those hair commercials, yeah. Oh, yeah, right, yes. Okay. Good. Okay. Wave it around in slow motion. That's what I'm imagining a hair commercial goes like. Thanks, you cool.

Lisa, some text messages. Somebody messaged in saying that when they were young, they had skin conditions. Maybe, I don't know. Eczema, psoriasis. They said that they used to have a lukewarm bath, so not like a hot bath, and their mum would pour her in oats. Oh, yeah, I've heard of that. Oatmeal is good for skin because it's calming or something.

Yeah. But is that wasting all your porridge, isn't it? Yeah, you're just turning into porridge. Yeah, don't stay in for too long or you will. You'll be a Bershom Muesli. If you leave it for overnight, you'll have some soaked oats there. Find a sultana in your leg. Yeah, I just Googled it and apparently it has lubricating fats and sugars

that will moisturise your skin and calm itchiness, sunburn and redness. So if you got sunburned, you could just have a lukewarm bath of oats. Oatmeal. So just because you know

how you're made at porridge. You just get what, like a $2 bag of oats? Quick oats. Oh, I don't know if you put the whole thing in because you think about it at the end of it,

you've got to get it all out. Like your plug hole's not going to like that. It just goes down the train, doesn't it? No. Finger it to the plug hole. And then to like that. It just goes down the train, doesn't it? No. Finger it to the plug hole.

And then pour a whole bag of Haraway's oats in. And they swell, don't they? Yeah, they swell and they go mushy. Can you imagine trying to put porridge down the drain? Get the sieve and pull the plug and put the sieve down real quick. And the water will go through, but the oats will stay in the sieve. That would take a long time, though. Because then the oats will clog up the sieve. That would take a long time, though. Because then the oats will clog up the sieve. Okay, get a motel for the night and do it in their bath.

That's expensive. They love that. Motels don't always have baths. Hotels are more your bath. Yeah, okay. We'll do that then. Somebody said, my mum's old trick for getting rid of blackheads

was Vaseline on the nose, and then you put Glad Wrap over it. Not over your nose holes and your mouth. Make sure you can still breathe. And then a really hot flannel on the outside. Yeah. And then they kind of just open it up and you can kind of wipe them out. But wouldn't that absolutely seal all your pores?

Vaseline. Vas, bit of Vas. Vas is a mind-blowing ape. Yeah, it really is. It feels like something that we've moved on from, but everybody still swears by a bit of vas. The guy that invented vas used to eat a tablespoon a day, and he lived till like 98.

Oh, I don't know. He never squeaked. And I'd imagine he would have pooped almost effuletlessly. Yeah, I bet. Effuletlessly. What a true treat He would have pooped Almost effortlessly Yeah I bet Effortlessly What a true treat That would have been Alright thanks for sending in Your home hacks

For beauty Next Yeah Put the oatmeal Somebody's messaged in Re-oatmeal in the bath Yeah Put the oatmeal

In a stocking Oh my god It's like a tea bag Yeah it holds all the porridge In but it releases that And you can like put it on the affected parts of the skin. Can you use it multiple times? But you don't have a clogged plug hole. That's genius.

Some people are genius because I'd be fingering that down the plug hole all night. I wouldn't have thought about that. Some people are so smart, eh? I wouldn't have any stage of the hours of fingering it down the plug hole if you would have thought. No. I'd be fingering it. I should run this operation like a teabag. No, I would still probably do it twice before I even thought of that. What?

And someone has even gone the next step. You put the oatmeal in a stocking and then you tie the stocking over the tap so when it's running in, it drains all the nutrients out into the bath and then you use the stocking and aye. People are so smart, aren't they? Oy vey.

Keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier. As at Herald's new podcast, the front page is your short, sharp, daily news podcast.

Join me, Damien Venuto, every weekday morning as I chat with journalists and newsmakers going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest news stories of the day. Listen to the front page at nzherald.co.nz slash podcasts and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. Fletch Warner Meganughan and Megan. The Podcast. ZM. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six.

Hello there. Cromwell. A city, not a city, a town in the South Island. An interesting wee spot. Yeah. Always wondered kind of why Cromwell was there. No offence. What do you mean? It's a beautifulwell was there. No offence. What do you mean?

It's a beautiful spot, especially in summer. Jeez, got the lake. Oh, yeah. All the fruit, the orchards. Yeah, but there was no lake. Initially, there was like the river. Yeah. The two rivers. They built the dam.

They built the dam and then the lake was created, flooding the old town. But it was originally there because it was kind of like a junction, if you will, between two different mountain passes. And gold was discovered there in the river at the bottom, and thus the gold rush started. And afterwards, they grew fruit there because it was a nice area to grow fruit that could service a few different communities that existed. But why is it called- Fruit town.

Stone town. Isn't it stone fruits? Is it stone fruits Fruit Town. Stone Town. Isn't it Stone Fruits? Is that a Stone Fruits? Yeah, Stone Fruits. Apples, all sorts. So I didn't know this, but it was called Cromwell because there was an Irish surveyor who was surveying the area and he didn't want to be there and he didn't like it

and he called it Cromwell as a curse. Like a curse name. This place shall be known as Cromwell. But wasn't it his name? Oliver Cromwell. No, it was an Irish surveyor. Oliver Cromwell slaughtered innocent Irish people and forced deportation of thousands of innocent Irish civilians

during the English invasion in the mid-1600s. He like forced them all out of their homes. Get out of here. Go that way. Get out of here. And if you don't, you're going to get the sword. And so it was like this name that was the Irish had no

respect for. And so this Irish surveyor was so unimpressed with the area. He's like, this shall be known as Cromwell. So it was named like in a nasty way. It wasn't ever in a passionate ode to this slaughterer. If he'd just been a bit more positive and snapped up some real estate,

he would be rolling in it right now. Oh. Well, he'd be dead because it was like 100. Oh, you're true. 80 years ago. But yeah, so Cromwell possibly thinking about a name change as the world kind of wakes up to some of the reasons some places are named some things.

So the top six new names for Cromwell are number six, Tiro South, or South Tiro, or the other Tiro, because there's already a Tiro in the Waikato, but that is the Maori name for the area of Cromwell. It means the place of many cabbage trees. Oh, okay, right. Now, yes. Cabbage trees suck with those little, what are they?

The spears that fall off them. Yeah. Yeah. This is, I always loved a cabbage tree until I had to mow around them. And you have to pick up the spears because they don't break or cut. They just tie up your lawnmower. Yeah. So that's another name for it.

And number five on the list, the place that it's hard to mow the lawns. Yeah. Because of the, you have to pick up all the cabbage tree spears before you get there. Number four on the list of the top six new names for Cromwell, Fruit Bowl of the South. It's nickname because, you know, it's giant fruit. But I was thinking that's a little bit boring. So I thought this name, and I've got a song to accompany it, could be the new. 11,000.

Name. Oh, yeah. No, sorry. That's a news article I it, could be the new... 11,000. Oh yeah, no, sorry, that's a news article I was watching. You know, stuff always does that, eh? Every time. Stuff with the autoplay. I don't want that, and it rolls onto the next video, whereas I just wanted to play this. Womp, bomp, loom, bomp, blomp,

bomp, bomp, tootie-poo. Tootie-fruity. Tootie-poo. Oh, roo, tootie-poo. They could call it Tootie-fruity. That's so cute. I'd be all for that. It's kind of Tootie-fruity. They could call it Tootie Fruity. That's so cute. I'd be all for that. I'd be all for that. It's kind of Tootie Fruity.

Which way are you going to go to Wanaka? Oh, I think I'd go through Tootie Fruity. And then I could see Wampaba Lubop the Wampabam Poop on the sign. I love that. Tootie Fruity. You can have that one for nothing, Cromwell board. You can work on that. Number three on the list of the top six new names for Cromwell,

Crom Vegas. Oh, yeah. I've already put Vegas on the end of a name there, but taking it away from Cromwell. Yeah. Turn one of the motels or hotels into a casino. Yes. Why not?

Yes. Nothing bad ever comes from that. No. Number two, Cromwell was originally known as the Junction before it had a name because of the area where the Clutha and the Kawaro Rivers met. And the Junction's a cool name. Yeah, the Junction. The Junction. Or just

Junction. So you could go back. Junctionville. Junctionville. Junctiontown. J-Town. J-Town. Well, Johnsonville's kind of got that one right. Junctionville. Junctionville, Junction Town. J-Town. J-Town. Well, Johnsonville's kind of got that one right. Yeah, true. Johnsonville likes that. And number one on the list of the top six new names to crumple,

why reinvent the wheel, call yourself Queenstown 2.0. And then, you know, you might get some extra bookings, a little bit of confused tourism dollars. Overseas tourism, when they finally come back, might confuse you for actual Queenstown. Yeah, and if Queenstown's booked out, go to Queenstown 2.0. Brilliant.

That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. This is exciting for someone who sucks at maths. Right. I can do the 10 times table and the 11

as long as you don't go too high. Fives are easy. 5, 10, 15, 20. Yeah, okay. 11 times 8. 88. I went 10, 15, 20. Yeah, okay. 11 times eight. 88. I went high and you did it. Yeah.

No, I mean like past 11, 11s. 121. I was going to say 32. I've got no idea. It goes past 11, I've got no idea. But Snapchat, also I'm not using Snapchat anymore, so this is a good revival. Snapchat's got a- Why aren't you using Snapchat? No one's using Snapchat. I'm not using Snapchat anymore, so this is a good revival. Snapchat's got a...

Why aren't you using Snapchat? No one's using Snapchat. I'm only sure of devious. Yeah, devious people are still in the domain of Snapchat. No, they're not. I just opened mine for the first time in months. I don't even have it. And there was all these people being like, streaks, streaks, streaks, streaks.

What does that mean? You've got like a snap streak. But I've never replied to them. But you and Mr. Didn't remember when Mr. Toyboy was overseas, you and Mr. Toyboy had like a.

Oh, I'd get so, like literally message him and be like, send me a picture so we don't lose our streak. And then like if he forgot, because we went over 100 days. Oh, really?

Yeah. That's nothing. Pretty sweet streak, bro. That's nothing. Why have you got a longer snap with somebody? No, I don't do, I'm not doing streaks, but people go crazy for the streaks. Like, I'm just saying, yeah. So Snapchat has a new scan AR platform, whatever that is.

But basically, you can use your camera to solve math equations. So, I mean, everyone's got a calculator on their phone, but this is, it's like, I would say it's like, you know when you use Google Translate to scan a sign in another language? It's probably more if you see an equation

written down, like, this would be perfect for an exam. But you're not allowed to sit there and scan you. Oh, no. And then for show you're working, you'd just be like, open Snapchat. But you're not allowed your phone. You're not allowed to sit there and scan you. Well, no. And then for show you're working you just be like open Snapchat. So I've written down

10 times 5 equals. 50. Yeah, I know. Obviously we don't need we don't need this but for example so you click on it and then you go scan

and then there's music where you can scan music obviously and then there's a little calculator app. So you go calculator, you just point it and look straight away.

10 times 5 equals 15. Holy moly. And you can show the solving steps. Can you? Yeah, so you show solving steps. Because I was going to say that would be a problem if it was a harder equation.

Then if you don't show you're working, you're going to get found out, right? Yeah. But it shows you the working to copy too. Yeah. So you could easily cheat. No, because you've still got to get your phone out, don't you? In the middle of an exam.

No, but like if you're doing it at home then you're not going to learn, are you? I just googled NCEA level 2 mathematical equation and it's like quadratics, logarithms some calculus, probability. I'm like, no. No.

No, no. Oh, no. No. I'm just trying to find like a standard sort of mathematical situation that would be an actual exam, not just like a simple times table. What if you did multiple ones

like 10 times five divided by 2 minus... Oh, yeah, because then you've got to apply bed mass, right? 10 times 5. Divided by... 2. 2. Plus 4. Plus 4.

Minus. And then put brackets. Oh. No, you've got to leave more space for the bit that goes in the brackets. Oh, no. No, you're going to need to start again. And that doesn't look like a bracket. You don't even know how you write it.

It looks like a backwards J. Have you done a bracket? Why did you do two brackets against each other? No, it doesn't know. I've just had it. It doesn't know. Maybe it's my handwriting. Oh, no, look, 29.

From what I just did. 10 times 5 divided by 2 plus 4, 29. Okay. Magic. So if you need to cheat at maths, Snapchat. Well, just if you need to just do some maths quickly and you can't be... But I mean, if you can read that and you can open your phone to use Snapchat, you can probably open your phone to use the calculator.

Exactly, yeah. Yeah, but I don't know what bed maths is, so... Bed maths? Maths. Bed maths. It's the order in which you approach an equation. Brackets. So you always have to think inside the brackets first.

Nah, I'm out. Bed maths for some because they call it a parenthesis. Yesterday, our streak came to an end. 24 days COVID free. Two arrivals from the UK. It's been 24 days since the new case, right? Yeah. It hasn't been 24 days since the last person recovered, had it? Had it been 24 days

since the active... I think... No new cases. 24 day no new cases. And I think we all expected this to happen, that people from overseas, New Zealand residents and citizens coming back, they would be the odd one,

but it would be fine because they were in a hotel. Yes. Well, they weren't. Well, because you could apply for... Compassionate consideration. Exactly. If you'd come back because someone was dying or had died, you could apply for an exemption.

I would have assumed that that meant thorough testing to prove... Well, that's where the letdowns came in. They weren't tested when they left. Yeah. And they tested two days later at a Wellington testing station. Apparently they haven't, they've only seen one other person. They travelled in a car from Auckland to Wellington

only stopping to urinate on the side of the road once. And so we should be fine. Should be. But the thing that, because I think people are quite pissed. I was quite pissed yesterday when I read the little line that said, one of the women said, in hindsight, I probably had some symptoms. Like, what the hell?

Yeah, because there's much. I mean, it's tough. Like, if your mum was dying or had just died and you wanted to see your family, would you say, oh, yeah, I'm fine? Would you? I don't know. You can't put yourself in that circumstance, you know?

Unless you've been in that situation, you don't really know exactly how you'd react. But we've all been, you know, we've been living through this. We know the symptoms. Everyone knows the symptoms, right? And the seriousness of it. And how intense New Zealand went to stomp it out.

Oh God, I tell you what, I hope for their sake, no, they don't find out who these people are online because the internet will not hold back. No. But there are a lot of,

because I was finding it interesting in the comments, there's a lot of confusion still with people. They don't understand. Our borders have always been open to New Zealand citizens and residents. Forever. Repatriation flights

are about the only flights that are consistent around the world at the moment, going into different countries and that is when it gets organised that citizens, for example, of New Zealand who are overseas in a country, they'll say, they'll get in touch with them. This is where we fill out the cards when we're going somewhere

and letting them know how far, how long we're staying and how long we're staying for so that contact can be made. There's going to be a flight leaving this country at this time. If you're a New Zealander, you can apply to be part of that flight. 1,800 overseas arrivals landing in New Zealand a week. It's New Zealanders coming home that are then quarantined. But you're right. I did see heaps of comments yesterday asking when our borders opened.

Like, we thought the bill borders were shut. Shut the borders again. They've always been shut. It's always been open to New Zealand citizens. Yeah, to get home because everybody's kind of looking after their own situation. That's a lot of people. Man, those hotels must be costing some money. Yeah. And be packed. But everybody

has to go into a hotel. That's, again, people don't understand that. And people think that you know, if they, because a lot of overseas people like specialists. Yes. I know that Rocket Lab had some people fly in to help with the rocket launch the other week. Avatar. Those people still have to go into isolation as well.

For two weeks. And that was another thing I saw in the comment. Oh, you're just letting them in to roam around. No, they're not roaming around. They're coming in. They apply for exemption, right? Yeah. To be able to enter New Zealand, but they still have to tick the boxes of the quarantine

when they get here. It's hard for the government because they got taken to court for not, initially they wanted to say, well, no, you can't go and see your sick parents or your sick family or go to funerals. And they got taken to court. Yeah, initially they wanted to say, well, no, you can't go and see your sick parents or your sick family or go to funerals. And they got taken to court.

Yeah. And then everyone's like, well, like, why aren't we opening the borders with Australia? Oh, you've opened to, you're taking your time. And now everyone's like, oh, no, shut them.

Shouldn't have never been opened. Shouldn't have never opened the borders. Everyone else is like, trans-Tasman bubble should have happened three weeks ago. Two people arrive who have it. They should never have opened them. God, I

wouldn't want their job for any money in the world. No way. So the Prime Minister last night took to Facebook Live just to chat about the developments and the situation. The two cases that we've had come in from overseas that were announced today

were not announced under the circumstances that we would have expected at our border and we should be utterly clear on that. Those circumstances we do not consider acceptable. That's off the back of the information that many of you will have heard that in these two cases, which of course were both family members and together, we should be clear on that. Compassionate leave was granted for those individuals. However, the testing of those individuals was done outside of their isolation facility. That does not meet our expectations, and I know it will not meet your expectations either. A couple of things, however, to keep in mind.

While, of course, we are reviewing exactly what has happened in these circumstances because they cannot be repeated, we have also, the Minister of Health, directed the Director-General of Health to suspend all compassionate leave. Many of you will have heard that we've had a number of cases at our border where people have been in quarantine where they have sought to have leave because they have, for instance, a family member who might be in a situation on their deathbed or so on.

And those circumstances, that's when people have made applications. They've never been treated as though they are risk-free. There's always been circumstances and criteria around those individuals. You might recall we denied so many that in one case we were taken to court over it. However, the requirements put around in this case or the checks and balances in this case were not adequate. No question. And so the compassionate leave has been suspended. The Minister of Health has directed the Director General of Health to do that because

it has not met our expectations or indeed yours. And so that will not be happening until such time or unless we can ensure that it is much, much, much more rigorous. That was Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern on Facebook Live last night. I think it was like eight minutes all up. Yeah. We're addressing those concerns, rightly so, that people have. We had two new cases. Yeah.

Somebody concerned that they popped a little squat on the side of State Highway 1. Yeah, somebody messaged in saying, and I'm not sure the context of what they, but this is what they wrote, what woman stops to pee on the side of the road, really? Like they don't believe'm not sure the context of what they, but this is what they wrote. What woman stops to pee on the side of the road? Really? Like they don't believe that they saw the side of the road or they discussed that they did.

But oh, you're not in New Zealand if you haven't popped a little mimmy on the side of the road. Like when you're desperate and you're on a road trip. You're just like,

stop at the next thing that might slightly conceal my white ass from being seen by the side of the road and I'll pee behind it. Yeah. That's not a problem.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Got a very aesthetically pleasing infidelity, infidelity. Infidelity? Infidelity. Cheating. Statistics. Infographic. Oh, I love a good infographic. Oh man, how good is a good infographic? So good. So it's just stats

about cheating in 2020. Right. 98% of men have frequent fantas stats about cheating in 2020. Right. 98% of men have frequent fantasies about someone other than their partner. Feels good to be the 2%. I know I was about to say, your partner's going to be like, I'm the 2%, babe. But they're not, it's a fantasy. They're not doing anything about it. They're not cheating. But who are they fantasizing about?

Vaughn, over to you. Jessica Rabbit from Her Framed Roger Rabbit. Are you like a 16-year-old boy? Look, I was just trying to... Don't throw to me and then I like chuck a little volley back and use a modern day reference. Oh, this is a terrible time. 80% of women.

Executive Intern Anya's boyfriend, Mr. Bun Buns, has just walked in for this. He's like, what have I done? Awkward chat. He's like, I should have chosen the worst. Are you in the Mr. Bun Buns? Are you in the 2% here? No, but I agree with you that Jessica Rabbit is quite an attractive cartoon. Yes, thank you.

And it was kind of like innocently enough, you know. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Although impossible body there. Yes, unrealistic body expectations set it was kind of like innocently enough, you know. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Although impossible body there. Yes, unrealistic body expectations set there. That's very true. Yeah, but that's why it's called a fantasy. Okay, you're also in trouble later because you did say that you're not in the 2%. He's being honest.

Yeah, he's being honest. Honesty gets you nowhere. Honesty or stupidity? Yeah. One of the two. 80% of women, just on the other side of that, have fantasies about someone other than their partner. Oh, really, Anya? 80%. Right. No, she's in the 20%. You're in the 20%, right, okay. 80% of women just on the other side of that have fantasies about someone other than their partner oh really Anya 80%

right no she's in the 20% you're in the 20% right okay yeah 10% this is really funny 10% of men and women

would have an affair with Angelina Jolie weird where did that come from I wouldn't I wouldn't 10% of men and women now was she just used

because she was the highest that both would opt for? Maybe. 35% of cheaters have an affair with their co-worker. Yep. I can see, and you hear about it, and I can see why. Not us, thankfully. But people do spend a lot of time at work. What's wrong with us?

No, no, no, no. Nothing's wrong with you. God, thank God we don't work like a full eight-hour day. I wouldn't be able to keep my hands to myself. Surely it's a co-referral that you're like, that's in the office that you don't spend all the time with. Because like, you two are so annoying. I couldn't stand any more time than I have to.

Well, that's rude. Very rude. 20% of men admitted to engaging in extramarital sex, while 10% of women did. What's extramarital sex, while 10% of women did. What's extramarital sex? Sex outside the marriage. Yeah. Right, okay.

How many? 20% of men. Wow. It's quite high. Yeah. But it's this stat that we want to talk about. 22% of people have cheated with an ex-lover. So 22% go back to their ex.

But then they're an ex for a reason, aren't they? Unless you didn't want them to be an ex. You didn't get to make the call. Yeah. Yeah, and sometimes when you're not with them all the time, you might forget what annoyed you. Yeah, but then if it's just... Because it's not saying going back to them for good. They might

have just cheated with them, you know? Yeah, right. And you're only going back for that one thing. You're not, yeah. And then people are always like, oh, don't be jealous of the ex. Um, hello. Stats. Stats.

Um, hello. Statistical backing. Look at this, 22%. That is quite a lot, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Wow, okay. That would be really, that would really stink. Well, see, this is why when the ex pops up it can be

a bit of a you know a hot button in a new relationship can't it? Yeah. But then I don't know if you're with someone for a while and maybe you do end amicably and you're friends but again I guess it depends on how jealous you are doesn't it?

What's that saying? You should always be wary of the ones they tell you not to worry about? The ones that are like, don't worry about... Is that a saying? My ex. I've never heard that. It's a long saying. It's a long saying.

You could definitely get some better word economy in your saying there, I reckon. Or the one that they're always talking about if they always mention their name. Yeah, right. Excuse me, who is this? Yeah, but I'm always talking about Fletch at home and it doesn't necessarily mean anything. Romantic should come of it. Right.

I mean, I can only live in hope. Maybe deep down there is. Oh, boy. Maybe there's some issues you've got to deal with. Oh, boy. I wish. But since 22% of people cheat with their exes, we'd love to hear this morning.

Well, I wouldn't love, but I would. No, I would. Be honest. You want to hear the stories. Did your partner cheat on you with their ex? Yeah, maybe you've been in it. Or maybe you did this. Yeah.

Maybe you went back to the ex. Yeah. Did it last? Was it just like dipping your feet in the pool again? It is a lot. 22%. That does blow my mind. There's 78% who didn't.

They cheated with someone brand new. We're discussing cheating with an ex because 22% of people apparently cheat with an ex. So we want to know, has this been you? Have you been cheated on with your partner's ex? We've got an anonymous caller. Now, anonymous, was this you doing the cheating or were you cheated on? No, no, I was the lucky cheated on. Oh, okay, right. And it was the ex.

Yep, so I was with him for eight years, and he had been cheated on by his ex-girlfriend. Right. And that was why they separated, apparently. And then we were together eight years. A year and a half, nearly two years later, I accidentally found out that he had been with her seven of the eight years that we'd been together. And, I mean, we had, well, he was my stepdad, you know,

like we had everything. Yeah. And, yeah, so he was back. Well, he never really stopped with the ex who supposedly cheated on him. Did he mention the ex ever? No,

but I noticed that he got quite secretive, started hiding his phone. For seven years? Oh, no, I didn't notice. I didn't know that early on, but yeah.

Oh, that's crazy, isn't it? Okay, Anonymous, thanks for your call. Some text messages in. I haven't cheated with my ex, but anytime neither of us were in a relationship we would hook up for a while. It was always just too good to turn down.

The ex? So maybe they got to the point where they realised Emotionally perhaps there wasn't a relationship That was sustainable there But sexually they were very compatible Or they just annoy the hell out of them Yeah, but they're hot Yeah

Yeah Somebody said Yes, this happened to me What? Is it Caller waiting. That is juicy. Okay. Well, I'll just get this text out of the way and then we can dive into that.

Juicy steak. Somebody said, yes, this happened to me. He broke up with her. Yeah. We were together for three years and towards the end of that three years, he said he still had feelings for her, Broca, and it turned out there was a slight overlap. Oh my god.

Alright, an anonymous caller joins us. This is the reason I gasped audibly before. Anonymous, what happened? Okay, so I was in this relationship with a guy who was meant to be like the forever one. Yeah, the one.

Five years. And it turns out he was having a side relationship with my daughter at the same time. That's why I gasp. That's double deceit. Yeah, really. Well, yeah, Very heartbreaking on the Mother daughter relationship thing But he got her pregnant

Which is why he broke up with me Wow Geez And so do you have anything to do with Either of them now It's been It's been 13 years So I do have a

Acquaintance relationship with my daughter Because she's now married to the guy And has another child So I'm still their grandmother Your ex-boyfriend's the dad of your grandchild Wow Yeah, I know What do you say to that, really?

Wow. I mean, 13 years later, I mean, you're probably over it or it's probably easier to digest. But wow, that would have been a shock at the time. Oh, it's, yeah, rock bottom sort of. Wow. You hit it. Jeez.

But I'm just waiting for karma. I'm just hoping that that happens. And then you can be like, huh, there it is. He was a guy who hated people knowing his business and he would lie through his teeth to get out of anything. But he can't get out of the fact that he definitely had relations with my daughter whilst we were still in a relationship because she got pregnant two months before she broke up with me. So

I got him, you know? Yeah, we know how that happens. Exactly. Anonymous, thanks for sharing. Wow. I don't think we're going to beat that story. That's a lot. Well, one last story about the ex. Broke up with an ex, got back with another ex. After that, then cheated on X number two with X number one.

Now I've been with X number one again for eight years. Sounds like a mass equation. It does. And then so at what place does the train cross with train Y and X two? Yeah. And will she go back to X two after this extended period of eight equals X one? Drama. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM.

It's time for... Fact of the Day, Day, Day, Day, Day. Today's Fact of the Day is, do you know riceys? Yes. Are just the rice equivalent of popcorn? What? Riceys, the cereal, are just the rice equivalent of popcorn. So it's a grain of rice. Puffed rice.

That's puffed. That's puffed out. Popped rice. Popped, puffed, puffed, puffed, puffed rice. Puffed rice. That's puffed. That's puffed out. Popped rice. Popped, pasty, puffed, puffed, puffed, puffed rice. Right.

I know, I never, because before. So why don't we eat popcorn with milk in a bowl? Diabetes. No,

but it's just corn if you're not putting anything on it. You'd have to put something on it because, yuck. Same with rice bubbles. That's why I always heaped heaps of malo on it. You'd have to put something on it because, yuck. It'd be a group. Same with rice bubbles.

That's why I always heap some mallow on it. No, rice bubbles are yum by themselves. No, they're not. No, they're not. You're right. Yeah, they're not. Like, you need peaches or something in there. You need some of the spice up there.

Okay, Dad. Pin peaches in your rice. Were you living in a castle or something? Like, that's flash, bro. What? Peaches? Yeah. No, we had a peach tree in there. That's's flesh, bro. What? Peaches? Yeah. No, we had a peach tree in there.

Dad would have. You'd get preserved peaches. Except mum didn't like doing that trick where you'd boil them to get the skin off all the time. So occasionally you'd be a bit like. The furry peach skin was stuck to the top of the roof of your mouth. But yeah, I'd never. The reason I thought about this was before we were talking about the movies and you just said, Megan,

you're just looking forward to sitting in a dark room with some popcorn. Yeah. Even if the movie wasn't that great. It was just about the- I mean, I could do that at home, but- The dark movie and the popcorn.

Yeah. And then I was like, how to make your own popcorn and then I saw puffed rice and I was like, oh my God. And then you can do it with like any whole grains. You can do

quinoa. Quinoa, yeah. What does that pop up like? It doesn't pop like popcorn. It expands and it crackles in like a hot pan. You do it the same as the thing and it kind of like jumps around but it's like

crunchy. It's like crunchy. Right. It's like crunchy, like a snack. What about, oh no, these seeds. I was going to say like pumpkin and sunflower seeds, but they wouldn't pop. They're seeds. No, you've got to use grains.

You need a kernel. So short grain brown rice is good. Yeah. Because you know how that husk that's a bit harder if you're just like boiling it, it actually makes it more, it holds it all in and it'll pop it out. Yeah. Like a popcorn. Then you're just like boiling it. It actually makes it more, it holds it all in and it'll pop it out. Like a popcorn. Then it'll taste like rice cakes. Buckwheat, which just actually looks like miniature corn kernels.

And if you put enough butter on these things. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. It'll probably be yum. What if we just took rice to the movies and put some salt and butter on them? Oh, the butter would disintegrate them. Yeah, that'd be yum though. Then you'd just be eating like a mushy butter. Yeah, butter on them. Oh, the butter would disintegrate them. Yeah, that'd be yum though. Then you'd just be eating like a

mushy butter. Yeah, butter slush. You need a spoon. Yeah. And then when it got to the bottom you could use

one of those frozen Coke spoon straws. Yeah. And then just be like someone's like what are you drinking but butter. Butter slush.

Yuck. So today's fact of the day is riceys are pretty much the rice version of popcorn. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Bluff or Stuff. Bluff or Stuff.

We give away something cool. We gave a last prize with a GHD hair straightener, wasn't it? Yes. Yeah, that was great. Yeah. And the latest prize, and we haven't been able to give this away for the last few times because we've been too good at lying,

is a Nescafe Dolce Gusto coffee machine. Looks like a penguin. This is the coffee machine I have at home. Little capsules from the supermarket. So playing today for this incredible prize, Catherine, good morning. Good morning, guys. How are you going?

Really good. Thank you. Now, Catherine, we're all going to tell you that we're holding this, but you've got to correctly guess which one of us actually is. Okay. Would you like to start, Vaughan? I'll hold it up. I am holding it up.

Don't you tell me how to hold the box. Dulce-gusto.com is the website you can go to if you want to learn more. Which is why he's gone to the website is because he can't read the box and he's going to give you stats. I would turn around my computer and show you I haven't. I'm just on Facebook, but I've got my hands full of a Dulce Gusto box. Yeah, right. At present.

If you've got the box, Vaughan, how many litres does the water tank hold? 600 mils. Damn it. How did you know that? Well, because I'm holding the box. Does it say on that side? Oh, no. I've got the box, Catherine.

Both sides. Because listen, listen to this. This is the box. It's not that heavy. That's the box. That's the box. That was just a big thump on the desk. I put the box on the desk.

Well, you... Oh, you're good on, Megan. That didn't sound like the box. Oh, that was my bracelet. Ow, when I put the box down. I'm holding the box because I can tell you it's got a hot and cold function. So you can have your...

You can have like an ice coffee if you wanna. It's got a little... On the barcode right in front of me, it's got all their little different coffee machines above the barcode. You can see that on the box that I'm holding. It's quite small. Okay, read the barcode, Vaughan. You can't, can you?

I'm just trying to find the barcode. This would be a confusing thing to try to scan out. I will. I will. 1-881-3B-30-K-0-7-6-3-S-800-2-Q. You're just making that up in your head. No, he's reading the barcode off his Makona jar that's sitting behind it. Oh, just clear the name with the barcode.

I can tell you it's actually 8711-000-55380. Don't make up a barcode number. Oof. Okay. That's tough. Catherine, at this stage, I would like you to eliminate one of us. Yeah. I've got to get rid of Vaughn, I think.

Oh, wait a minute. I was just going to say, I've opened the box a little bit, and here I am tapping the top of the coffee machine. Get out of here, Vaughn, I reckon. Listen. That's me tapping the top of the coffee machine. So I don't know if you want to eliminate this guy still.

Do you still want to eliminate Vaughn? Yeah, totally. Yeah, good, because he was tapping a bottle of spray and wipe. Oh, I bet he was. Okay, Catherine, is it Megan? Oh, 50-50 shot, Catherine. Is it Megan or I holding the box? Look, I'm going to just go with Megan.

She's got one at home. I'm just pretty confident she's got it. Come on. Oh, no. Well, we'll be back again next time. Incorrect. With the Dolce Gusto. Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

I dropped it, Catherine. Did you not hear how heavy that was? Well, yeah. Half M. I was the only one. Did you not hear how heavy that was? Well, yeah. I am. I was the only one who didn't have a barcode to read. I'm a fantastic liar, aren't I? Well, we'll put that away for next time. And unfortunately, Catherine, you're going to have to make instant coffee.

That's okay. Thanks, guys. Have a good day. You just labeled yourself a fantastic liar. It's more you're a terrible truth teller. Yeah. Megan's the fantastic liar. You're the terrible truth teller.

Okay, fine. You couldn't convince her that you actually did have it when you had it. In your hands. All right, well, we'll be back again with the same prize next week with our game Bluff or Stuff. Next on the show, though, it's a new day, a new Vaughn. Uh-huh, honey. Okay. or stuff. Next on the show though, it's a new day, a new Vaughan. Uh-huh, honey.

Okay. That's from that song. Uh-huh, honey. Yeah, yeah. I knew. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Tonight's the last episode of Have You Been Paying Attention? TVNZ 2. Correct. And I made a promise to the ladies in wardrobe

and makeup because this is me every week. Oh Vaughan, what about this light blue suit? Nah. Vaughan, what about this orangey, bricky orangey browny suit?

Nah. What do you want to wear? The black one? Every week. Black or blue? That really dark blue one. It's like a charcoal-y. Yeah. It's very slimming.

I would do exactly the same. You do look like a businessman every week. I just don't want to wear a bright suit. I don't know why. But anyway, I said. Pale blue's not bright. I said. It's a bit out there.

And I said, last episode, you can choose whatever. And I said to the makeup, because the makeup ladies, I was always like, too much. Yeah, don't put too much on. I don't want to look. One week, I looked like, you know when, have you ever seen a plasterer? You know, the people that come and they fix up the jib in your house and they run that plaster stuff over and then they do do it and you're like, whoa, but you can see that it's plastered until it's painted.

I looked like that. Yeah, but only when you look in the mirror, not on television. No, but it looked like I'd been coloured in by a child with one felt. It was just the same. So I was like, whoa, whoa. And then I said to them, all right, last episode, you can dress me how you want and do whatever you want to the face because it's the last episode of years.

But anyway, I could only hold up the makeup end of the deal because Lou, who did the costuming wardrobe, turned up with this like literally highlighter yellow suit. Oh, why didn't you do it? I was like, I can't do that. Everyone would have known you were doing it ironically, like as a laugh for the last episode. You went grey, blue, black the whole time. And then highlight a yellow.

But one thing I did get, and this could be my new look, I got a little bit of eye makeup done. What do you mean? So I shut my eyes. Yeah. And then I couldn't see what was happening. But I felt things going on my eyelid. And then I had to open them and look up and then open them

and look down and I know I got the mascara brush. Did you get eyeliner as well? I got mascara brush and I got what was described as a light smoky eye. Oh, okay. Man level smoky eye.

And I tell you what, I got some compliments on my greenish brown eyes. It really made the green pop. Really? Right. Did you take a selfie? Yeah, Megan,

I sent it to the group chat. This is why Megan never looks... I know. I sent it to the group chat and I'm like, this is just for Megan. Remember I told you

I was very busy yesterday. We don't have time for the shenanigans in the group chat. That's how it looked. I'll show you one half because you can kind of see a little bit.

Yeah, I mean, obviously it doesn't work on the radio. Oh, wow. Look at your lashes. Very smoky eyes. I got a lot... Somebody was like, are those real lashes? I was like, they are, obviously it doesn't work on the radio. Oh, wow, look at your lashes. Very smoky eyes. Somebody was like, are those real lashes? I was like, they are, yeah.

What? Well, you can see Vaughan's smoky eyes tonight on Have You Been Paying Attention, the season finale. A lovely black suit with black shirt underneath. It's classic you. Classic.